#so youre bately tolerated at best but secretly everyone wishes youd leave | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

vagueiish · 7 days ago

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turns out i am a special little snowflake and nobody has ever felt the way i have and nobody can relate and im just. gonna be alone and shitty and garbage forever

#theres this chasm between myself and the rest of humanity #and its insurmountable and im fucked #like. oh. ur depressed too?#but are u depressed bc youre in your 30s with no skills and no friends and still live with ur parents #working the first job you ever had that you only got durijg covid bc the company was desperate for suckers #willing to work during a fucking pandemic #and its gonna be the only job you ever have bc u - again - have no skills and couldnt cut it at college for reasons that are #still unknown to yourself and you have no friends and want friends but #dont have the social skills to make friends bc all the friends u made back in grade/high school.only were friends #bc being forced together 5 days a week and if it werent for forced proximity they wpuldnt fucking care #as evidence by the fact that you no longer are in contact with them #and you also spent the majority of your 20s more or less isolated from other people bc #you were live in caretaker for your grandparents at various times #one of which may or may not have abused you at a young age so that was cool #but now that youre in a place to maybe build a social life you dont have the skills to do so #bc its not like youre funny or cool or smart or anything like that inherently so you cant make up for the awkwardness #so youre bately tolerated at best but secretly everyone wishes youd leave #and you do want to leave but you also need money and anywhere else that might hire you pays less and you have financial responsibilities now #so youre stuck much to your and everyone else around you's disappointment #and on top of all that theres family bullshit going on that you have no control over that nonetheless effects you #and on top of that youre still living with the ancient depression that started when you were young that you never really got a grip on #that you still dont understand where it came from bc theres no real reason for it to exist #you dont have a reason to feel that way which makes you feel even shittier for feeling the way you do #have you wasted your entire life?#and theres still time but is there? is there really?#the world is burning down around us - has been for years - and so i dont #i dont know. if i fix myself finally and the world explodes the next day. what was the point?#theres still time but while im workng on my shit or whatever im still gonna have to live with feeling like this #and despite all this people still have it worse so im a selfish shithead for feeling like this #i dont know what the point is anymore

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