#and then years later died for you thus turning you into my afterlife

[warlenys]

house md, 4x03 / 8x21 / 8x22.

[dreamchasernina]

To cleanse your feed of bullies,any Kataang or Zuko hcs you have :3?

Hiiii. Thank you for this! Here are some of my hcs off the top of my head:

- In the episode “Sokka’s master” while the Gaang are watching the meteor shower, Aang and Katara spontaneously hold hands. They’re lying next to each other and accidentally touch hands and then Aang blushes and embarrassed starts pulling his hand away but then Katara catches it and brings it closer to her and intertwines her fingers with his. They don’t look at each other it just happens, they just lay there in silence with their hands interlocked between them, until the meteor crashes later in the episode (Why couldn’t they put something like this in the show like????)

- When their kids start asking how Aang got the scar on his back, Katara is hesitant about telling them that story since they‘re so young but Aang turns into a sort of bedtime story. Instead of telling it as a scary and traumatic story about how their father died, he tells it as a heroic story about how their mother saved the day. How the fire nation princess took her shot and tried to slay the avatar but their strong and amazing mother did not let that happen and saved his life, and thus, saved the whole world. The kids want to hear the story over and over again before bed.

- Aang proposed to Katara on the Jasmine Dragon balcony at sunset…the exact same spot she told him she was pregnant years later.

- When Aang was struck by lightning and was unconscious for 3 weeks Katara always slept beside him and refused to leave him alone at night out of fear that something would happen. But when he woke up she kinda continued doing that. She’d tell him first that it was to make sure he was completely healed, he didn’t protest. Then it just became a routine, sleeping next to each other helped with their ptsd of that night in Ba Sing Se. (It’s like Katniss and Peeta’s arrangement if you know what I mean??? I love taking inspiration from Katniss/Peeta, they’re so similar I could make a whole post just about that! Aang is the dandelion in the spring for Katara, you know???? *sobbing*)

- So I need to paint the picture for this headcanon. If you’ve never seen Lost, in the last season, as the characters are dying they see their loved ones in the after life. So when one of my fave characters was dying she saw her boyfriend, and the last words she said were the words she said to him in the afterlife. So in my head, as Katara is dying she sees Aang waiting for her, and suddenly they’re both 12 and 14 like they were when they first met and then 14 year old Katara asks Aang “will you go penguin sledding with me?” And those are her last words before she passes away. So the last words her children hear their mother say, are the first words Aang’s ever said to her (Picture Rose and Jack reuniting at the end of titanic) I HATE THIS ONE CAUSE THERE ARE TEARS IN MY EYES AS I’M WRITING THIS.

I have a couple more but I’m gonna save them for Kataang week cause I have to write something! 😭

[icyg4l]

PAC: Messages from Your Deceased Queer Loved One

Hello beautiful people! Happy Pride Month! This month has come to an end quickly, but we live on forever! I wanted to dedicate this reading to the people we have lost in the LGBTQ+ community to violence, suicide, illnesses and more. They deserve to live long lives without disruption. As the small pieces of progress rise, there comes more regression which is why it is important to emphasize the safety of queer people everywhere. Any queer person you have felt a personal connection to will be sought out for insight through my True Heart Tarot Deck. Rest in peace to the beautiful angels that have suffered on this Earth. Let’s hope that they have a peaceful afterlife. 

Before I make my temporary departure from this community, I feel that it is important for me to give you guys a proper goodbye. I will drop a couple more PACs before this month ends. But I want to remind you all that I have a Five Dollar Friday Sale coming on this Friday! If you are interested in my sale, please refer to my guidelines. Remember, if you have more than one question, that is an additional $5. I will get to you in a timely manner. But without further ado, please choose the iconic queer film still that you feel most connected to. 🫶🫶🫶

Top Left-to-Bottom Right: (1-4)

TW// mentions of familial abuse, violence, suicide, addiction, illness.

Pile One: Hello, Pile One. Your loved one wants you to know that you do not need to be living the fast life. I feel like I am talking to people who feel like they need to grow up fast. Something significant could have happened to you when you were sixteen or to your deceased loved one. You still have time, there is no need to rush the process. I feel like your loved one passed due to an overdose or because they succumbed to HIV/AIDS. They want you to learn from what they have been through. You do not have to fit in with what the crowd is doing. Be careful when you are out with certain people this weekend. Everyone does not have the best intentions for you. It feels like you need to clean house. Your circle does not seem mature enough to understand the transformation you are about to undergo. You are being protected, specifically by a younger person on the other side. This person passed away about 10-15 years ago. Maybe even longer. They want you to start acting like you care about your life. Let’s change our ways for the better, shall we? This may go unheard until a later time, when you really need to hear it but you will get the message. 

Cards Used: King of Swords, 8 of Wands, The Empress, The Moon, 2 of Discs.

Pile Two: This pile feels very heavy in comparison to the last pile. Pile Two, this death feels very recent, like within the last year or so. This also has some romantic undertones. This could have been your partner, or a friend that you never confessed your true feelings for. This person could have expressed suicidal ideations to you. They admire the way that you took care of them while they were depressed. You took them out of their comfort zone and introduced them to a new life. I am channeling the movie ‘Perks of Being a Wallflower’. I think this person left you with a lot of questions when you died. But they want you to know that you did all that you could. There is nothing that you could have done to turn back the hands of time. What’s done is done. They don’t want you to become obsessive over their spirit, but celebrate all that they’ve done and accomplished thus far. Don’t try to save everyone because everyone doesn’t need to be saved. You will never fully heal from this trauma but you will get closure. It feels like you need to move far away from where you are. It brings up too much drama and bad memories. You deserve to be in a place where you feel safe and grounded, even if it means making the move alone. Focus on moving forward from now. They will always have love for you, even in the afterlife. Even if you move on. In fact, when you start dating someone, they will pull the strings behind the scenes for the union to form. 

Cards Used: The Hermit, 3 of Cups, Ace of Discs, The Empress, The World, 2 of Wands. 

Pile Three: Hello, Pile Three! This is exactly who you think it is. If you have been smelling certain scents or have seen things randomly fall, then this is definitely for you. This feels like a cousin or a sibling. I feel like you found out some stuff about this person after they died and it shocked you. “Well, what now?”, they ask. Are you going to look at them differently? I feel like they had a bit of a reputation, but they’re highly misunderstood. They want you to focus on making peace with who they were. Don’t try to justify their mistakes/choices. It is what it is. Instead, focus on more important things like attaining your goals in the physical realm. Some of you may be in the gym using it as a coping mechanism. Make a goal so that you can beat your PR. Something about your childhood is significant here. Unfortunately, I feel like some of you were victimized as a child by this person and because of that, you don’t know how to view this person through an objective lens. It makes you feel guilty because you feel like you should be focused on the good stuff. You have a complicated relationship with this person, even after death. I am channeling this book called ‘All Boys Aren’t Blue’. The author opens up about an inappropriate relationship he had with his cousin and he addresses his cousin with respect, but still holds him accountable for taking advantage of him. For others of you, I feel like this person is sorry for exposing you to the wrong crowd. I heard “the secret is out”. At some point in their life, they stopped caring about themselves and in return, this affected those around them. They want you to find room in your heart to forgive them. It will be a long and complicated journey, but they have hope. 

Cards Used: 6 of Cups (RX), Temperance, The Moon (RX), 7 of Swords, The High Priestess, Justice, The Star. 

Pile Four: Pile Four, your loved one does not want you to keep up with appearances. Be as true to yourself as you should be. Not all of us have the privilege of being able to come out and be ourselves. Some of us have to blend in and be like everyone else because that’s what we have to do to keep ourselves safe. If you suspect that anyone was in the closet in your family (immediate family to be exact), then you were right. This person was family oriented, so they chose to stay silent about their identity. Plus, it’s no one’s business. But once again, this was not a choice. They feared being exposed or treated as an outsider. But they see what you are doing and they want you to keep doing it. Keep making friends with other queer folks. Go to pride events. You may find members of your chosen family there. You are a bit naive right now, so you might not understand the full complexities of what they’ve gone through. They understand that you could be upset with them but keep the family close. Do not isolate yourself; even if it means talking to two family members, please keep in contact. It feels like this person was a bit of a mystery. So, you should ask about their history. Get in contact with people who were close with them and get to the bottom of their story. They want you to make an altar for them, so you can connect with them. It will make all the difference in the world, love. 

Cards Used: 10 of Cups, Judgment, The Hierophant, The High Priestess, 10 of Discs, 7 of Wands (RX)

[dee-in-the-box]

okay screw it, i'm doing it anyway

so, my friends, get ready for my AU Version of Blackjack. or, as he is also known:

The Physical Manifestation of The Tragedy of The Kennedy Siblings.

so, to give you an idea of how that ended up being one of his titles, let me go step-by-step with this:

when Jack first died, Blackjack first formed as a skin and bones, pale purple dog. he looked small too, like he was also not a full grown dog, either. yet another odd thing about him: his eyes were entirely white, and he had similar white tear tracks falling down his face. he looked...uncanny, to say the least.

he hung around Fredbear's for a little bit and ran into Dee. upon learning about what had happened to her, he grew angry. really angry. sure, Jack had checked the camera footage before he died and saw Henry leading her to the back, and thus had a clue of what happened...but now he knew for sure. and not only that, he knows details of what that SADISTIC FUCK did to his dear sister.

and he was pissed.

as more and more murders piled up over the years, Blackjack started turning a deeper and deeper purple, to the point he appeared to be a shadowy black color. it was almost like he was a Sponge of Suffering for Freddy's. his body was almost fog-like in the way it worked and appeared, wisps of his fur coming off of his body like smoke. his eyes glowed, and his tears actually felt wet. however, those that touched them discovered that the tears were scalding hot, as though they were heated by hellfire itself. every bark the dog released sounded angry, threatening, even if he was clearly happy or calm.

customers began to view Blackjack as Death Itself, coming to guide the souls of the missing children to the afterlife. oh, how Blackjack wishes that were his purpose.

(no, that job has been delegated to someone else)

it is after Peter dies that something...changes.

Peter, as he died, saw a shadowy dog run up to the Saferoom door after Henry closed it. the dog clawed on the door, snarling and growling at the man behind it. he sounded enraged, like he was cursing Henry out for his crimes, for even daring to hurt Peter or those children. Peter believed that this dog would guide him to the afterlife. he believed it to be Sparky.

(years later, as he recounts the story to Jack as a Phone Guy, he doesn't understand why Jack has an unnerved look on his face as he mentions the dog. the dog didn't seem bad; it actually seemed to want to help. so why does he act like the dog being there was a bad thing?)

Peter's death changed Blackjack. his every breath came out as a growl, he'd watch Henry from a distance, glaring at him and growling at him if he ever got to close. his words were garbled, and very few could understand the words with perfect clarity. but...something else happened, something that disturbed customers even more. the dog would howl, and a sound that many could only describe as "screams of the damned" would accompany it. however, some could pick out three distinct "voices" from the screaming.

a young girl, screaming bloody murder as she begged for two men, her brothers, most likely. a man, groaning in pain along with the sound of metal scraping on tile. the sound that rose above the other two, however, was the sound of another young man screaming in agony quite suddenly, only for it to be cut off as the other two rang out like an echo.

Henry just politely ignored Blackjack's existence. he wouldn't mess with Blackjack if Blackjack didn't mess with him.

after all, why would he bother with the spirit of a dog?

and then 1983 happened. he had simply stayed after hours to clean up after...well, simply put, some kids decided to shove a young boy in Fredbear's mouth.

he remembered hearing the sound of angry snarling behind him. he whipped around, only to find it standing behind him. Blackjack was growling and snarling at him, looking about ready to pounce and tear him to shreds where he stands. the dog howls, and suddenly Henry learns what everyone meant by "screams of the damned."

he hears them clearly. he recognizes at least two of the voices: a girl he murdered and a man whose death he was responsible for. the third...the third he didn't recognize, but was one he had a hunch about, given the context of the other two.

it was the voice of a man he left to die.

(he remembers. he remembers looking that man in the eyes as his life was slipping away from him. he remembers how that man looked up at him, and with all of the voice the man had left, he wheezed out "h..elp...m..e....." Henry remembers laughing in the man's face as he left him to die.)

(Henry remembers returning to that accursed suit and finding it blood-soaked....but scarily empty. because it shouldn't be empty, it's literally impossible for it to be. he was the only one who knew about...him. so how...?)

it hits Henry, the voices he's hearing.

Dee. Peter. Jack.

The Kennedy Siblings.

Henry doesn't get much time to process what that all must mean. he steps back from the clearly aggressive dog. turns out that small movement was a mistake.

Blackjack lunges at him, barking wildly and snarling. Henry braces himself; he'd not sure what a ghost dog would be capable of doing to a person.

he feels pain as the dog sinks its teeth into his skin, and he feels himself...sink? what-?

he finds himself in a place he could only describe as...The Void. he finds the dog standing in front of him, still snarling and growling at him. but...then something unexpected happened.

Blackjack spoke. and Henry knew exactly who this was.

he doesn't know why Jack's soul took the form of a dog. it's something he's never really seen before. with the exception of Dee (she'd take the form of either the puppet she was trapped in, or a regular human-shaped ghost). but....an animal? he'd never seen that before.

regardless, Blackjack practically cusses him out, angry about what Henry had done. to his sister, to his brother, to him. Henry left him to die. he framed him for his sister's murder. he killed everyone he loved.

but he wasn't going to kill him, not yet, anyway. death was too good for him, in Blackjack's eyes.

he left him to rot, believing that, eventually, enough time in The Void would cause Henry to die. because maybe he would still age. maybe he would start to waste away. something.

...safe to say, he was wrong.

it somehow made him stronger.

anyway, there's the timeline 'til about...maybe around DSAF 1? i dunno.

but yeah! Blackjack basically absorbs the Suffering Vibes™ at Freddy's locations and it ended up fueling him and his rage. he got fueled more by Dee and Peter's deaths, hence him being the embodiment/physical manifestation of The Tragedy of the Kennedy Siblings.

also, i did a Minor rewrite of how Blackjack works. i somewhat based him off of how i write Cassidy in the Fnaf Canon: Angry, Vengeful Older Sibling Who Lost Their Loved Ones AND Their Life To The Same Man, Who Lashes Out In Anger At What Happened, And Ends Up Making Bad Decisions In Order To Get Vengeance For Their Murder.

i mean. Jack was a young adult who had his younger sister get murdered by a man who (potentially at this point) was his boss, got framed for her murder, and then was left to die by that same boss. like...realistically speaking, while Blackjack might act all mysterious and wise (and to a certain extent he is), he's really just the soul or a scared, angry, and vengeful young man whose life was ruined for effectively no real reason. so i wanted that to come across more.

[lifetrimmed]

Well I am back with more Makai ouji, a different character this time tho lol.

So you got Michael, THE Archangel Michael, right? My best boy. My beautiful darling. My amazing scrunkly. He is listed as a main character despite not even appearing until episode 8 in the anime/second musical/chapter 21 (volume 4) in the manga and having by far the least screentime of all the mcs (even some side characters get more lol). And ho boy is he something. So there's a rule in the MO world that the more powerful a demon/angel is, the more time they have to spend in limbo, sleeping. This sleep is a century long and comes about once every couple hundreds of years for high ranked demons. Michael. Never. Slept. He has such massive trust issues that he wouldn't let Heaven in anyone else's hands because everyone he once trusted is either dead, betrayed him, or is incompetent.

The original group was Michael, Lucifer, Uriel, Gabriel, and Raphael. Lucifer, obviously, betrayed him, that was the first problem. Then Uriel failed his orders because he got too attached to a human, thus betraying him too. Raphael has no interest in politics. Gabriel (a lady in this series btw) ate the apple of sin and had a child with a former pagan god which was the first strike as it's heavily implied Mich was in love with her, and then she died! And Mich is still in denial about it 2-3000 years later. Still holding on to the hope that she's just sleeping for too long and she will definitely wake up. He's constantly on the verge of disappearing because of his lack of sleep. Literally living on spite alone. And oh boy is he moody, insecure, and constantly lashing out... And!! It leads to even more people turning their back on him and betraying him! Which gives him even more trust issues and insecurities!! It's honestly so tragic to me because he needs help more than anything but instead he ends up spiraling even deeper down because of his own actions that were taken because of that spiral in the first place!

His former confidant is actively plotting to kill him, the other current leaders of Heaven (except Raphael who is still there, acting like he's high all the time) barely hold any respect for him, Uriel picked a human over him again, the woman he loved is dead AND her child looks like a walking copy of her (to the point where even Raphael has to do a double take to realize she didn't rise from the dead), there's a Heaven-wide conspiracy against him that actually comes to fruition later, he ends up exiled and barely holding on, having to rely on the same people who, more or less accidentally, set this all into motion, faith in him is waning all over the world, and if that all wasn't enough, the apocalypse is coming. And you know what, it never gets better. He doesn't really get a happy ending. He dies knowing he was never anyone's first choice, that he most likely won't be missed, just glad that at least he got to see a world where Lucifer died, even if just for a second.

And yeah, I did write him a tiny afterlife fic back in the days of the fandom being still alive where he met up with Gabriel and got to have his happiness, but then new chapters came out and wow!!! Gabriel was pretty shitty actually!!! I don't think Mich really knows the extent of it because he was very happy to offer her kid a chance to go home and visit her (denial be strong baby...) and all. I just want him happy. I want him to have genuine friends. He showed he can be so caring and protective and forgiving even to people who annoy him. Even to people who started his end without meaning to if they can't defend themselves. I know that seems like it doesn't match up with what I said about his personality but please!! He's such a broken and layered character!!

EYYOOO sorry I took a bit while... And I hope you don't mind me merging my reply for your two asks into one? (⁠人⁠ ⁠•͈⁠ᴗ⁠•͈⁠) And I pick this one to post cuz it's more tragic LMAO

Michael is the one who acts aloof and looks down on everyone in the anime isn't he? Mannn the characters with those traits always have the most depressing story jsgsjsgs

But that fic and the story update omg, If I were you I'd be so disappointed and crying oof (⁠ ⁠；⁠∀⁠；⁠)

I remember some bits about camio from your rambles in the server~ Him having a wifey! The pizza classes with his not-boyfriend!! But for some reason the one thing I remember the most about him in the anime was when his face looked like a sad puppy when someone stroked his cheek HAHHAHAA ...It was camio right?? I hope I remember it correctly (⁠ ⁠；⁠∀⁠；⁠)

[jmagnabo92]

It’s a Twin Thing - Ch 1

A few weeks after Hetty’s almost banishment, Trevor’s in for a surprise when his twin brother comes by for a visit.

AO3

***

Trevor sighs, contentedly, as Hetty cuddles into him.  Despite it being earlier than usual for the aftermath of the rendezvous, Hetty doesn’t immediately leave.  After nearly being sent to the woods for a year, they’ve both been rather clingy … not that either of them would admit it.

Instead, they just cuddle together sometimes quietly – they’ve fallen asleep on more than one occasion – and sometimes they’ll chat quietly about random things.  They usually take turns talking about what’s on their minds and sharing stories of their pasts.

Lately, he can’t stop thinking about his brother.  Although everyone knows that he has a brother now, Hetty’s the only one that he had mentioned Jeremy being his twin brother to (although Flower had guessed ages ago).  Their rendezvouses in the last month or so since the heir nonsense happened usually led to cuddling and Trevor talking about some story where he and Jeremy had attempted to pretend to be each other until they failed at it.  It was always a competition between the brothers to see who could last longer pretending to be the other – Trevor always claimed the crown unless it involved someone asking him to draw something.

He loved those moments.  He loved those stories.  He wishes that he could relive those days, those times.  He misses Jeremy something terrible and he wishes more than anything that he could see him, again.  Talk to him, tell him that he feels like a part of his soul is missing and that he wishes that he’d come to the memorial, but he appreciated that he sent Tara Reid (even if that had been a disaster).  It showed him that he knows what Trevor would want even decades later, even decades without him.

“Penny for your thoughts?” Hetty questions as she looks up at him, lifting her head from his chest.  Their clothes hadn’t returned yet, so he knew that she hadn’t fallen asleep despite how quiet she was being.  

Trevor hums.  It’s his turn to tell a story.  “Just thinking about Jeremy, again.”

“Are you going to tell me another story about the two of you switching places?” Hetty questions, somehow looking excited.

Trevor grins.  “That depends.  Would you like to hear one?”

Hetty hums in agreement.  “I would as I am waiting on a particular story.”

Trevor laughs.  “Oh yeah?  What story would that be?”

Hetty grins.  “I have decided that you two switched so often that you are secretly Jeremy.”

Trevor can’t help bursting out laughing.  “You really think that Jeremy and I switched the day I died and I’m not Trevor, but I’ve been pretending to be him for over twenty years?”

“Well, no one would have any idea, correct?”

“That’s correct.”

“Thus, theoretically, you could have decided to be Trevor while actually being Jeremy for your entire afterlife.”

“I love J-dog and it’s undoubtedly fun fooling everyone, except our parents, but I can’t imagine doing that for twenty years – it’d feel wrong.  I love him, but that was a game we played together – we never did it without permission from the other,” Trevor states.  Not after the one-time that got them both in major trouble.  “Besides, I like being T-money instead of J-dog.”

“It is hard to take you seriously with those ridiculous monikers,” Hetty states, somewhat teasingly.  

Trevor laughs.  “Oh, please.  I know you love it.”

“I do no such thing,” Hetty states, but the smile on her lips says otherwise.  

He gives her a quick kiss and says, “Uh-huh, I totally believe you.”

“You should as I am being sincere.”

“Sure, you are.”

“It is impolite to suggest a lady such as myself would lie.”

“It’s impolite for a lady such as yourself to lie to her lover about something as silly as liking my T-Money moniker,” Trevor teases.  “And continuing to lie just means you’ll have to suffer the consequences.”

He shifts so that he can move his hand down Hetty’s side since she’s ticklish there.  

Hetty clearly knows what he’s thinking of doing and tries to wiggle away.  “Don’t you dare, Trevor!”  

“I won’t if you admit you like it,” Trevor teases.  

“Never!”

Laughing Trevor begins to tickle her, and it takes no time at all to get Hetty all giggly and begging for mercy, even as she shifts on top of him and pins him down.

“I win,” Hetty says, gleefully.

Trevor smiles.  “I’m right where I want to be – so I think I win.  Now, admit it.  You like my T-Money thing.”

Hetty leans down as if she’s going to kiss him but stops just out of reach.  “You are correct, Trevor, but do not let that go to your head.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” Trevor teases, just before she closes the distance for the kiss.  

“Good.”

***

He knows that it might not be a good idea to come here.  Probably a terrible one, but he figured he had to – he had to know – had to see him – had to deal with these things he’s been avoiding.  It was ridiculous that he couldn’t summon the courage to visit during the memorial, but he hadn’t been expecting his parents to throw one and he wasn’t – wasn’t ready to face the reality of losing his twin.  

While it’s true that he had known – especially with his ability to suddenly see ghosts around the time that his brother had obviously died and those dreams of this very familiar mansion – but there had still been a part of him that ached for it not to be true.  He had had such a hard time with the loss, with not knowing where he was, and worse knowing that he was likely a ghost somewhere.  The dreams he had were not helpful as he wasn’t sure if they were real or not – and some, he certainly hoped not.  His – their – parents had tried to reassure him.  Tell him that Trevor was not stuck on as a ghost, but he knew – he could feel it.  

They hadn’t really accepted the possibility until the weekend where they discovered exactly where Trevor had died – everything that had happened, the woman owner of the house acting so strange by encouraging the memorial for one, and the final moment where she said, ‘what if he was here – what would you tell him?’.  They had believed then that not only was he there, but the woman could see him like Jeremy could see him (and other ghosts).

Despite this, they didn’t think it would be a good idea for Jeremy to visit until and unless he was ready, but how do you ever get ready for that?  He had nearly made this trip a dozen times in the last few months, and every time he turned around.  

Every time he found himself afraid and overwhelmed.  He thought about what Trevor would say, if he’d be angry that he hadn’t come sooner, if he’d blame Jeremy for being the reason he’s stuck.  If he resented Jeremy for being the cautious and careful twin, rather than Trevor as the reckless and risky twin.

It was illogical, he knew, but it was how he felt.  

And he couldn’t stand the thought of Trevor hating him.  Blaming him.

Because he blamed himself.  

He should’ve been there – done something, somehow.  

Stopped him from falling into the lake or whatever.  They had no idea what actually happened, his bones – waterlogged as they were – told them nothing.  And Trevor’s so-called bros had been less than helpful.  

Jeremy was always sure they knew something – gut instinct and what not, but that didn’t mean squat to the authorities who had nothing to go on.  And after twenty-two and a half years, there wasn’t any evidence of anything other than an accident.  

Still, if he’d been a better brother – maybe he would have been there or helped him find better friends.  What if he had somehow gotten in good with Trevor’s friends and been able to stop him from doing reckless and risky things all of the time?  What if he had convinced him that he didn’t need to do risky and stupid things to be the life of the party?  What if he had spent more time in the city with Trevor rather than hide out in the country where he’s more comfortable?  What if he convinced him that he was better off leaving Lehman Brothers and branching out away from those douchey bros to be with his actual bro?

There were so many things he could have done, so many words left unsaid, so many what ifs.  

Maybe he would finally get answers here.  

He could feel Trevor’s presence as soon as he pulls up, but it takes a minute and several deep breaths before he gets out of the car before he can convince himself to drive back home and not face his brother.  

The front door was open, probably due to the nice weather and to encourage random drop-ins for the business. Given that he hadn’t exactly planned a visit (if only because he had attempted and failed to make this trip a dozen times), this is probably a good thing.  

Still, it’s as nice and homey as his parents told him (they had attempted to reassure him that if Trevor was there at least it was homey – the fact that his drawings and paintings matched a house that he had never set foot in helped assure him that Trevor was definitely there).  He can’t help looking around, and hoping to just spot Trevor rather than have to talk to the owners and explain what exactly he was doing here, but despite noting two obvious ghosts – a captain and a  Lieutenant colonel from opposite sides of the revolutionary war in the library kissing, interesting, he only sees two other ghosts in the living room – a hippie and a Native American, who have appeared to have noticed him.  

No Trevor.  

There’s plenty of land, obviously, so Trevor doesn’t necessarily have to be in the house at the moment, but he’d somehow been hoping that Trevor would be the first person that he would see.  That he wouldn’t have to go searching.

Although, it was entirely possible that his brother had ascended, and he would never know it – would he lose this ability if his brother ascends?  Did the fact that he has this ability even mean that his brother was ghost?  How did it work?  

He had no idea.  Yet, due to the memorial and drawings, he was convinced that Trevor was here – at least, he has been for twenty years.  He could be gone by now.  What if the memorial got him to ascend?  Maybe he’d been hyping himself up to do this all for naught?

What would he do, then?

“SAM!  There’s someone here!” the Native American yells from the living room.  

He doesn’t react.  If his brother isn’t here, then he doesn’t want to give away his ability.  The last thing he wants to do is talk to more ghosts who are less than helpful to his plight of seeing dead people and trying to play at normal.

He’s sure the other living that can clearly see ghosts – Sam – probably wishes the ghosts here would let her play being a bit more normal.  Of course, neither of them were.  Not with this ability most people don’t have.  

He hears footsteps on the stairs, as the hippie woman says, “He looks awfully familiar.”

“He does, doesn’t he?” her companion offers.  

Ignoring them, he looks up at the woman on the stairs, who stops on the landing with two other ghosts behind her – one that’s clearly a Viking and the other who is wearing a scout uniform and an arrow through the neck – ouch.  He’s seen some brutal deaths – that’s a rough way to die for sure.  

It’s at that point that it occurs him that maybe he should’ve gone by the lake, maybe if Trevor died drowning – he’d hang out there?  Before he could leave the house awkwardly – like he’s prone to do, the blonde, clearly alive woman, says, “Trevor?”

“How did you know?” he asks, without thinking.  It had been common practice for he and Trevor to just answer to the other’s name.  They switched so often when they were younger that half the time, he forgot that his name wasn’t Trevor.  

Of course, these days, the name causes an ache his chest.  

He can see the ghosts all reacting confused and excited.  They had clearly put together that he was Trevor’s brother and that he probably came seeking closure about his brother the way his parents had.  

They chatter about seeing him and someone realizes that they should go get Trevor because he should be here for this – both the hippie and arrow man immediately mention that they hadn’t seen him all morning – midafternoon, but that they’d split up and look for him in his usual haunts.  

Several minutes pass before Sam says, “Uh, lucky guess.  You sort of remind me of someone.”

“I get that a lot – were you thinking about them just now?” he asks, giving her an out for awkward silence since he knows what it’s like to be overwhelmed by ghosts that don’t understand what it looks like for her to be silent and trying not to react (and failing) to their commentary.  

A couple of the ghosts mention that it was interesting that he had offered her an out when Sam nods.  “Oh, yes.  He was – uh – a good friend that – uh – recently passed.  My apologies, I’m probably seeming all sorts of weird to you.”

“Weird should be my middle name – I’m quite weird myself,” he offers.  He’s waiting for her to mention anything about his brother or something, while the ghosts continue commenting.

But luckily as the arrow man and the hippy return with yet another ghost with news that they had not found Trevor, he hears, “Jeremy?” from his left.  

He turns to see Trevor standing there in a half suit – interesting and unfortunate death outfit – with a Victorian woman with red-hair.  Those dreams were definitely real.

He doesn’t hesitate (and neither does Trevor) to move forward to hug him.  He could hear surprised voices behind him and the one beside them, but he doesn’t care as he envelopes his brother in a hug for the first time in over twenty-two years.  He puts one arm around his back, while the other goes to his hair to ruffle it, like always.  Trevor mimics him, and to be honest, he finally feels completed for the first time in years – like a piece of himself that had been missing was finally locking into place.  

[mindmeltonabun-blog]

Tale of the Nine Tailed: Explanation of Lee Rang’s Death and Lee Yeon’s Ending Scene

Well folks...here we are once again. I did say that I would not write another TOTNT post unless there was anything worth discussing in the finale. I know many of you may feel utterly devastated or somewhat confused by how TOTNT ended, but I hope my post will be able to comfort you somehow. Anyways, let’s put on our thinking caps one last time for TOTNT!

Lee Rang’s Death

One of the biggest complaints many have had is the death of Lee Rang. Many said that the writer did him dirty while others wished that Lee Yeon and Ji Ah would’ve died instead. However, when we looked at his character arc’s as a whole, his death was justified. We mustn’t forget that he murdered hundreds possibly thousands in wake of his anger. 

Yes, he did do some good towards the end of his life such as taking in Yuri and Kim Soo, but that shouldn’t discredit all the atrocious acts he had committed in the past. Saving the life of two people doesn’t make up for all of the lives he had taken. Additionally, it is noted that Lee Rang did also assist the Imoogi’s group to bring the Imoogi back to life which caused for a slew of horrible events to occur in the first place. 

In the end, it was Lee Rang’s turn to sacrifice for the one he loved. Everything in TOTNT is cyclic if you think about it. First Ah Eum died to save Lee Yeon then Lee Yeon died to save Ji Ah. Therefore, it was only logical that it was Lee Rang’s turn to die for the one he loved which was Lee Yeon. 

Everything in life isn’t all rainbows and sunshine, what matters is what you do despite being dealt a bad fate. Both Lee Yeon and Ah Eum/Ji Ah weren’t dealt with a particularly good fate, but yet they still remained good people. Unfortunately, the same couldn’t be said for Lee Rang. Yes, he was dealt with a bad fate with having been born with a mother who didn’t want him, but he was also lucky because he had been taken in by a brother who greatly cherished him. Instead of appreciating the time he shared with Lee Yeon and remaining a good person even after the events of Lee Yeon leaving for the Samcheon River, Lee Rang still decided to take a turn for the worst. 

Over and over again, Lee Rang had escaped the punishment he so rightly deserved. For example, even after killing those villagers, Lee Yeon spared his life. Lee Rang had been basically living off on borrowed time. In a way, Lee Rang was lucky that during that borrowed time he was able to resolve the misunderstanding he had with Lee Yeon as well as have a small family of his own. Finally, if there’s anything TOTNT has taught us, it’s that if something is the will of the afterlife judges, it will be carried out eventually. One can’t escape their punishment.

In my opinion, things could have gone a lot worse for Lee Rang in the end. Meaning he could have been reborn as a shrimp. Instead, the afterlife judges granted him reincarnation as a boy who had a mother who cared for him and granted him his last wish which was to meet his brother again. He got all of wishes fulfilled. Thus, it was a satisfying ending for Lee Rang. 

Update 12/07/2020: Does Lee Yeon Meeting Reincarnated Lee Rang Indicate Many Years Have Passed?

No, it doesn’t. The team probably wanted to use the same child actor (Joo Won Lee; DOB: 05/03/2011) as to imply that Lee Rang had been successfully reincarnated. Sure, they could’ve used someone who was a few months old, but how then would Lee Yeon recognize Lee Rang ? Remember that Lee Yeon only met Lee Rang when he was around 9 years old. There would be no way for Lee Yeon to recognize what a few months old Lee Rang could’ve looked like. Get it ? Again, Lee Yeon meeting reincarnated Lee Rang happened in 2021!

Why Does Lee Yeon Still Have His Gumiho Powers?           

Initially, when I first watched this I was beyond shocked, left confused, and was rethinking my opinion of Lee Yeon as a good person. However, once I watched it with subs and then did a little research into how Gumihos can become human, the ending scene made sense. Again, everyone should’ve taken Jo Bo Ah’s advice of looking up myths and see to how they pertain to whatever happened in TOTNT.

Anyways, in legends, Gumihos can become human in the following ways:

1)    Refrain from killing and eating humans for 1000 days

2)    The human who found out a Gumiho’s true nature, must tell no one of its secret for 10 years

3)    Over a period of 100 days (other versions say 1000 days or ~3 years), Kumiho must not be detected by the human they are married to.  If the Gumiho fails on this quest, they will lose any chance of becoming human and will be a Gumiho for 1000 years

4)    Gumiho must consume the livers of 1000 humans over 1000 years. If they do not do this by the end of 1000 years, the Gumiho will dissolve in foam/bubbles

In particular, the ending scenes was in reference to #3. When Lee Yeon had came back to life, he was still technically a Gumiho hence why he could enter the Office of the Afterlife. I know you might ask well why didn’t Taluipa or Shin Ju sense he was still a fox? Because at the same time Lee Yeon was human, but only during the day or nights when there wasn’t a full moon (read further below for an explanation). Additionally, Lee Yeon probably didn’t tell Shin Ju because he didn’t want there to be any possibility that information would get leaked to Ji Ah. Better safe than sorry was Lee Yeon’s personal philosophy!  

Although, Lee Yeon did come pretty close to being discovered as a Gumiho when he let it slip that he knew that their child would be a daughter. This all goes back to the intro in Ep 1 where it is said that Gumihos have the “ability to see miles ahead”. Luckily for Lee Yeon, he convincingly tricked Ji Ah and played it off as he was just saying weird things.

Until his 100 days were up, Lee Yeon had to keep his Gumiho nature hidden from the only person who mattered which was Ji Ah. Let’s be honest here, it’s really hard to trick Ji Ah so Lee Yeon had to be super careful around her. Usually in legends, Gumihos fall short of reaching the 100 days because they are discovered by their betrothed. During Lee Yeon’s 3 months transitional phase of becoming human, a situation arose that could’ve have caused Ji Ah to discover that Lee Yeon was still a Gumiho aka Mr Samjae entering into Ji Ah’s life. 

This caused a problem because whatever misfortune befell on Ji Ah it would also inadvertently affect Lee Yeon too. Meaning that if Lee Yeon didn’t get rid of the Samjae, it could cause Ji Ah the misfortune of finding out Lee Yeon still was a Gumiho, thus ruining his plan of ever becoming human. 

The only way anyone could tell Lee Yeon was still a Gumiho was to have seen him during a full moon. This was in reference to how in legends, werewolves (also in the same canine family as a fox) can only undergo transformation into a wolf when there was a full moon (symbolistic of metamorphosis). So while in the transitional state of Gumiho and human, Lee Yeon was able to take advantage of there being a full moon to be able to transform into a Gumiho. Subsequently, Lee Yeon then used his Gumiho abilities to rid of Mr. Samjae Spirit. Thus, Lee Yeon eliminated a potential threat that could have caused Ji Ah to find out his Gumiho nature before the 3 months of remaining undetected was completed.

Flash forward approximately 3-4 years later after Lee Yeon’s face off with the Samjae, Lee Yeon is now seen as having been successful at becoming a full human as well as having daughter with Ji Ah as seen here in the following pictures (family picnic). My only complaint is that the production/editing team ended up deciding to not include the following scene. I do not know whether it was their decision or the writer’s to not include this. There could be numerous reasons why such as they had wanted to leave the possibility of there being a season 2 or there was limited time allotted for the length of ep 16 or the writer had wanted to leave an open ending. Whatever the reason, I do hope we will eventually show this to us. In doing so, they would give so many of us the proper closure we needed for TOTNT!

Side note, it looks like Lee Yeon and Ji Ah did end up introducing their daughter to her adoptive grandparents. Awww!

Updated 12/07/2020: Timeline of Samjae + Lee Yeon’s Transitional Period

There were also a bunch of questions concerning when exactly the whole scenes with Ji Ah and Lee Yeon had occurred. This occurred in 2021.

Samjae is believed to occur over a three-year period, and follows calculations based on the twelve zodiac signs. The first of the three years is known as deulsamjae (Kor. 들삼재, lit. entering the three calamities), the second, nuulsamjae (Kor. 누울삼재, lit. middle of calamities), and the third, nalsamjae (Kor. 날삼재, exiting the three calamities). The first year in this three-year cycle is supposed to be the most unfortunate. 

Source: https://folkency.nfm.go.kr/en/topic/detail/4151

So doing a little math, one will be able to see what years the Samjae entered (deulsamjae), remained (nuulsamjae), and then exited (nalsamjae). So the Samjae entered into Ji Ah’s life in 1994, 2003, 2012, and 2021. The cycle of every 9 years refers to the time period from one Deulsamjae year to the next (not every 9 years from her year of birth). For example, 1994 + 9 = 2003, 2003 + 9 = 2012, and 2012 + 9 = 2021.

What the show was trying to convey is that when Mr. Samjae came into Ji Ah’s life, it also coincided at the same time as Lee Yeon’s 3 months transitional period. Additionally, there were some who asked, “Aren't we to assume that many years have passed because Lee Yeon did say first root canal, first picnic, first snowfall, etc ?”. No, I took that scene as him mentioning things he either already did or will eventually experience.

Anyways, I really didn’t think I needed to point all of this out because I had assumed you all would’ve put on your thinking caps by now!

Last Remarks.

I hope that this post was able to resolve any confusion many of you may have had about the last episode. The writer did truly keep us on our toes until the very end. But with a little research into myths as well as analyzing everything as a whole, one should’ve been able to understand where the writer was coming from. Again, I want to give a big thanks to the cast, crew, and writer for all their hard work to give us TOTNT!

[feanorianethicsdepartment]

i ain’t done anything for @tolkienocweek yet, mostly because my covid-induced neet-dom has decoupled me from any association with sidereal time and thus there’s no way i could guarantee getting something out on its specific day. still, i do have one character that could potentially qualify for day 3 (background characters) or day 4 (self-inserts), sorta. i’d like to introduce you all to the proprietor of the fëanorian ethics department, the as-yet-nameless fed elf

fed elf is a... moderately idealised self-insert of mine, though she’s taking on a life of her own

she’s also a noldo. of course she is

her Noldorin Craft™ is, as i’ve said before, arguing. she has very strong opinions about almost everything and will debate them at length

she’s moderately infamous for it in tirion

she’s especially fond of philosophy, in the ancient-greek asking-a-million-rhetorical questions style. what should we do? why do we do the things we do? why do the valar get to tell us what to do?

... you can probably tell which side of the fëanor/fingolfin debate she landed on, if it wasn’t already obvious

she’s not particularly close to any of the future capital-H House, but she is in their rough orbit. one of the miscellaneous guild trolls that form the rank-and-file of their initial expeditionary force

idk if she’s ~devoted to the cause enough to go to formenos, but when the trees get eaten and fëanor rolls up into tirion with the solution to all their spider problems, she is all for it

she’s a passing acquaintance of maedhros from those times when he’d show up in her guild hall for debate night, so she probably ends up with his crew, at least initially

... there’s a very good chance her first attempts at crafting a new noldorin ethical system happen on that horrible night aboard the blood-stained swanships of alqualondë

in any case, she gets good enough at murder to not die before the brothers hellspawn are divvying up east beleriand, and the formerly reasonably undelineated fëanorian host is splitting up into its various garrisons

most people stay with whoever they’re already riding with, but there are exceptions. she is one of them, as soon as she hears about caranthir’s Plans she immediately switches allegiance to the future lord of thargelion

he’s deliberately trying to set up on the trade routes! they’re gonna make contact with the dwarves! there are apparently trails leading over the blue mountains, links to communities of elves unlike she’s ever seen!

so many new people to argue with!!!!!!

so she heads up to lake helevorn, and helps with setting up the city. she winds up filling some middling role in east beleriand’s military bureaucracy, when she’s not on orc-killing duty

but her true passion is *~ethics~*

there is actually a practical component to this. due to Certain Events the noldor (especially the fëanorians) aren’t as-well suited to their pre-darkening moral codes as they might have once been

they need a new one, with contingencies for, like, murder, and all the other new situations they’ll encounter in this new world! the questions of what’s right and wrong have been blown right open, and fed elf is possibly the happiest she’s been in her life. they’re building everything else from first principles, why not this?

and the fëanorian host in aggregate does actually care about morality, even though outsiders never believe that. it’s what separates them from the orcs (in their minds at least); they’re doing everything for a Cause, not for destruction’s sake alone. say what you want about the fëanorians, their problem was never a lack of ideals

she gets people coming in sometimes, wanting to know what the right thing to do in a situation is. either that, or they think she’s wrong about something and want to explain why in depth, which is almost as fun

soon enough, there’s a small shop just off the main streets of lake helevorn called the fëanorian ethics department

(she’s the only one with a shop, but she’s not the only member of the host with Opinions. the guy on the other side of the market district whose system is fairly similar in the broad strokes but completely different in the details is her personal archnemesis)

for most of the first age, fed elf has it pretty good. by her standards, at least, and she’ll happily exposit at length as to why they’re the only ones that matter

the work on the system of ethics never quite stops, but it does slow down. she’s less prescriptivist than most noldor, so she does a lot of observation and interviewing and stuff, and also new things keep happening for her to cover, but she does manage to nail down the basics!

she does consultation, in varying levels of official capacity, but she’ll also just. answer anyone who comes in with a question. or asks one within earshot

it’s mostly noldorin fëanorians she has debates with, the sindar and atani generally prefer to ask her whatever they want to know with minimum fuss, but whenever she gets a real fight going they all join the crowd. watching fed elf argue with people is one of lake helevorn’s municipal spectator sports

she also has conversations with travellers! these usually start when some newcomer is staring in befuddlement at the sign outside her shop and she takes the opportunity to pounce

she asks them detailed questions about their own ethical systems, which she files away for potential future incorporation/argument ammunition. they fairly frequently ask questions of their own, most often variations on ‘you guys seriously have morals?’

sometimes this even turns into a proper ethical debate! these aren’t usually as well-argued or intense as the ones she has with other fëanorians, particularly if she’s not talking to a noldo, but when she meets someone who’s a proper match for her it is the highlight of her year

running the shop does generate a fair bit of paperwork she tends to be too emotionally invested in to deal with properly, so she hires help now and then. one recurring underling is a clumsy perpetually-ill atan who is nevertheless really good with the filing and holds fierce opinions of their own, even if they hide under the table whenever anyone so much as raises their voice

(that atan is me. much less idealised self insert)

like every other elf in the host, fed elf is still under arms. she has a unit, she’s part of the orc patrol rotas, when caranthir needs to do a battle she pulls her broadsword out from under her desk and reports for the muster. east beleriand is just a pretty violent place in general, and her most impassioned arguments frequently shade into all-out duels. east beleriand, where even especially the philosophers will knife you

but just like fëanor promised on tirion upon túna so long ago, she’s built a place where she can be the best version of herself, and she couldn’t be happier (marketplace douche notwithstanding)

like so much of the host, she has big plans for when they topple angband and reclaim the silmarils. it’s just, well

i am not entirely sure what fed elf’s fate is after the fall of thargelion. most likely she died at some point, because so do most of her peers and also because she has an aversion to cutting her losses that’s definitely gonna backfire sooner or later

it’s either that, or she abandons everything she ever worked out to flee over the blue mountains, or she sticks with the host long enough to see all their ideals and dreams burn to ash. out of all of them death is probably her kindest fate

if she does die - she’s definitely a kinslayer at least one time over, she is staying in the halls for a While. the local maiar completely stonewall her every time she tries to argue her way out, she has plenty of time to sit around and think

because yeah, the host’s century-long self-immolation has given her a lot to think about. she was wrong, it turns out, in several important ways, and from the outside she can see how much the ethical system she put her heart and soul into was bent towards destruction

if she ever gets out, it’ll be after a lot of self-reflection, a massive dose of humility, and her accepting her own small-but-not-insignificant role in the nightmare they created

the fëanorians as get let out of the halls of mandos are without fail less violent, more self-aware, and just generally more conscious of their actions than they were when they went in. fed elf is no exception to this

she’s also no exception to the rule that their time in elf afterlife therapy generally fails to lower their volume at all. soon after her rebirth, after some time spent rethinking her personal moral code, fed elf puts out a thesis as to why elwing’s refusal to give up the silmaril was perfectly justifiable under fëanorian ethical mores

this pisses off a measurable proportion of aman’s sapient population. soon the furious letters of rebuke are pouring in nightly

exactly. as. planned

[dianapana]

SH Day 1: The Beginning of us

@sasuhinamonth

(Modern AU, OOC most likely)

“Kids, don’t forget to be very nice to Grandma today, it’s a difficult day for her” Hikari said once again, only to be met with silence. The woman sighed deeply and looked into the rearview mirror at her two teens, both with earphones in, typing away on their phones.

“They both love your mom; I know they’ve been in awful mood swings lately but they haven’t seen Hinata in a couple weeks.” Yuuta, Hikari’s husband tried to reassure her.

“I know, but this would have been dad’s birthday, and she always gets so sad around this time of the year. It’s been almost 10 years since dad died, but it still breaks my heart every time to see her cry”

Just as she finished talking the car stopped, Hikari did not have the time to turn around and ask her kids to be well-behaved because they were both out of their seats and running towards the house.

“These kids, I swear…” Hikari murmured to herself as she was putting her phone into her purse getting ready to get out of the car as well. She was just about to complain some more but was cut off.

“MOOOOOM, THE DOOR’S LOCKED”

That was it, the sentence that made her skin crawl, she froze in place. Hinata always waited for them by the window and would come outside when the car park, no matter how down she was that day, she would always be outside, but she wasn’t, the door was locked.

“Kids come back here,” Yuuta said softly while taking her purse. The kids got back into the car with wide eyes, confused but also scared. Hikari could not move, she stayed still and silent looking at her own hands as Yuuta went to unlock the door and then went deeper into the house. The few minutes he was gone felt both like a few seconds and an eternity.

He came out of the house with a deep frown on, he didn’t even have to say the words, they all knew. The kids cried Hikari fought against tears and Yuuta called his brother-in-law to tell him the sad news. Hinata had passed away in her sleep.

The week to come was a blur of phone calls and planning intertwined with crying, mourning and comforting. The funeral came and ended in a blink of an eye. Most of Hinata’s friends and generation had already passed, thus most of the people attending were distant family or kids of her friends. Regardless the room was filled with sobs and condolences. Just a few days prior Hikari complained about her kids growing up too fast, becoming adults that no longer needed her, but during the funeral, both of them held her hand as they cried throughout the ceremony.

Hinata was buried next to Sasuke, after 10 years of making him wait she decided to leave them and join him in heaven, part of Hikari was happy the two of them would meet again in the afterlife, but the other half of her was stubbornly missing her mother, needing her even in her adult life.

The last step of the process was cleaning out the house. It almost felt like blasphemy when they decided to sell the house. Sasuke built that house for Hinata, they started their family there. Even after Sasuke passed Hinata refused to move in with either of her kids because the house itself held importance to her. Two months passed since the funeral, but it still felt too soon, yet Yuuta and her elder brother were moving the furniture seeming not to understand the gravity of the matter.

Hikari on the other hand was on the floor of Hinata and Sasuke’s bedroom looking through photo albums of their childhood. She was reminiscing all the happy memories she had in the house, being in deep thought she didn’t hear her kids walking in until one of them affirmed loudly. “Wow Grandma and Grandpa look so young here”

Hikari looked over to see which photo they were referring to. It was a black and white shot of the two smiling, they were 19 at the time, Hikari knew the picture well, much like the story behind it.

“That was taken on their first date,” she said and the two kids looked up at her, waiting, expecting more, willing to hear the story. “Mom told me the story about a million times when I was a teen ‘If he doesn’t treat you like Sasuke treated me here, don’t bother he’s not worth your time Hikari’ she’d say”

Looking at the photo for a moment longer she could almost hear Hinata’s soothing voice as she was telling the story.

“The two of us met when we were small kids, our mothers were friends but we moved from Konoha after I entered elementary school. At the time the move was devastating, but as years went by, he slowly became a passing thought until finally I completely forgot about him and our friendship. Years later after, I returned to Konoha because I was assigned a kindergarten teacher post here. The first few days here were awful, I knew nobody and the other teacher was so rude and mean. I cried myself to sleep the first two weeks. I hated the apartment I stayed in as well; looking back, the apartment was lovely, but I hated being alone, I had never been alone before, and at the time being a single young girl in the city by yourself was frowned upon, and that mentality was so deeply rooted In my mind as well, I felt shame at times to come home to silence. I barely managed to get used to the job when I met Sasuke again, he was a young, handsome man; and he knew it too, if you think his ego is bad now you should have seen him back then. He came by the kindergarten to pick up his niece. He claims he remembered me and that’s why he kept approaching me, but I don’t believe that; I am telling you he fell in love at first sight.

I didn’t want to do anything with him, I was still having a tough time and a relationship would be too difficult to start at the time, but he insisted almost daily. It started out in a self-centred manner; he really believed himself to be the best catch out there, and he was, but still, it wasn’t very attractive at the time how he approached me in that way. So, after a few tries, he realized he should change how he tried to get my attention, he would bring me one flower every day when he came to pick up his niece; he apparently begged his sister-in-law to allow him to pick her up daily. Then, all of a sudden, he stopped coming, I didn’t ask about him because why would I, but his disappearance made me feel sad and disappointed; it made me realize how our small interactions actually meant so much to me and how much I basked in his attention.

A month passed and I had not seen him since, this time his memory was much stronger and harder to forget, but I was starting to lose hope of ever seeing him again. And just as I started accepting that fact, he returned with 31 flowers, one for each day he was absent, and a picture; a picture of the two of us as kids holding hands in the backyard of my old house. He looked so lovely, he was wearing a suit; it was the first time I saw him in one; he had just gotten an important job and couldn’t stop by due to the training program he needed to complete.

Before I could even get a word out, tell him I had missed him or that I was happy to see him, or how utterly surprising it was that we had met before; he started talking about fate and destiny, it was a lovely speech that painted us to be the one and only option for the other, it was very sweet. But once again he didn’t allow me to reply before asking me to wait. ‘Wait for a month’ he said ‘I will come and ask you on a proper date, one that I will be able to pay for with my first salary.’ I thought that was charming of him so I agreed.

Little did I know that a month later he’d show up once again with 31 roses and on a motorcycle. I had never dreamt of seeing one of those at the time, they were still so new and almost frightening. But I had waited for that date for such a long time so I decided to do things his way. He took me to the most expensive restaurant in the city.

The date itself is such a fun story too when he had to order he asked for the beef tartare, but he had never had it before and thought the condiments that came on the side were pre-portioned so he dumped everything in, it was so disgusting he couldn’t even take two bites out of it, so we ended up splitting my pasta. After the ‘dinner fiasco’ as Sasuke still refers to it, we continued our drive, he took me outside Konoha grounds to a small river bank where it was rumoured that you could see the most stars in the sky. That’s where we took the picture. We actually took about a dozen but we were both nervous, so either I had my eyes closed or his hands were shaking and the photo was blurred.

We leaned against the bike and looked at the sky for a while until he took my hand and held it, my heart was beating so fast I was certain he could hear it. I had never been on a date before, and the month of not seeing him made me realize my feelings, add to that a full month of waiting and expectations and I was a ball of stress, especially now that we were all alone in a secluded area. I had been fine at the restaurant, I was calm and collected while he had been the anxious one, but now the roles were reversed, he appeared to be so sure of himself and I was shaking all over. I thought the silence would be awkward, but it wasn’t, it was comfortable. I can’t even remember how long we looked at the starts and occasionally talked a bit, but I do remember the cool summer wind and his warm hand, I remember the mischievous glint in his eye, I was sure he’d kiss me, but he only looked at me and called me beautiful.

We only had our first kiss on date number six about three weeks and a half later, when I asked why he waited so long, he told me that Itachi gave him some advice, that at times waiting builds up suspense and makes the other person constantly think of you; which was true, all my thoughts would somehow lead up to him; and Sasuke said that he wanted me thinking of him as much as possible so I’d catch up to him; so, I’d like him just as much as he liked me. Poor him, not knowing I had already fallen deeply in love.

Don’t settle for less Hikari, they have to have an elaborate and intricate plan to get to you, and if it’s you doing the chasing follow your dad’s lead because I thought he was so charming.”

The story would forever be in Hikari’s mind, she would forever remember her parents as being deeply in love from their beginning until their last moments. The house was filled with memories, but so was she, she carried around all of the stories and moments of her parent’s love story throughout the years, and it was a beautiful tale.

[goodluckdetective]

Haunted!Phoenix Fic: Moth’s Wings

Ship: Pre-Narumitsu 

Fandom: Ace Attorney 

Characters: Phoenix Wright, Miles Edgeworth

A03: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30669839

Rating: PG-13

Summary:

Based off my “Phoenix Wright is a little haunted” AU. 

Edgeworth only asks him about the ghosts once, a full month before the Hawthorn trial. 

What he doesn’t ask then while haunted him later in more ways than one.

Notes: This is a fill for a friend based on a bet @feministbatman. Also the Spiritualist movement tricks I’m talking about are very real.

Wright told him about the ghosts, after the Engarde trial.

Edgeworth didn’t believe him, not at first. Sure, he saw what Miss Fey could do but he considered it a parlor trick, and nothing more. He was a man of science, of reason. He’d taken thoughts of phantoms and banished them to the realm of childhood fantasies as soon as his father died. There was no communing with the dead. 

Then he spent a day in Wright’s office shortly after the case and saw a pen lift up. As he watched, the pen wrote the following on a sheet of paper. He recognized the handwriting from years ago instantly despite the passage of time.

“I haven’t forgiven you for the bimbo comment. And I won’t forgive you for the note you left him either unless you shape up.”

It seemed Mia Fey’s sharp tongue followed her into the afterlife. He should have expected nothing less.Miles Edgeworth was many things, but he knew better than to contest the will of Mia Fey, dead or alive. 

So when he returned to Germany, he kept up corresponding with Wright. They shared notes about their own respective lives a few times a week over text and once a month through a call. Edgeworth told him about German law (fascinating), shows he saw on occasion at the theater (hit or miss) and the exploits of his dog (perfect as ever). In return, Wright updated him about his own cases (absolutely ridiculous, like the man himself), the antics of the Fey girls (chaotic) and Gumshoe’s latest crush (hopeless). 

Wright rarely brought up the ghosts, only mentioning them when they did something he thought Edgeworth would find interesting. Perhaps he knew enough of Edgeworth’s dislike of the supernatural to leave the matter be. Thus Edgeworth, surprisingly, was the one to bring up the ghosts on a more serious topic.

It was after a date he took in January, one he’d taken solely to get Fransiska off his case about being hung up on “spikey defense attorney’s.” The man she’d set him up with was nice enough: well spoken, nicely dressed, and charming, but the entire time Edgeworth couldn’t focus on anything besides how Wright looked much better in that shade of blue. He’d thanked his date for taking him to the Opera regardless, hoping to salvage a friend out of the incident, and when he next spoke to Wright, he told the man about the production. He left out the fact he’d gone as a date (for no reason, of course) and instead focused on the stagecraft of the show, something he knew Wright would know more about with his background. 

Halfway into their conversation about set design, Edgeworth shifted the discussion to one plot point in particular.“It was about a man haunted by his deceased lover,” Edgeworth said, leaning back in his armchair. “They decided not to use a fog machine for the actor playing her, instead deciding to use techniques utilized by the Spiritualist movement. I believe it was meant to underline that the ghost may be a product of his own-Wright?”

Edgeworth cut off mid sentence at the sight of Wright’s face over the video chat. The man had gone terribly pale, a shade Edgeworth had not seen since the Engarde trial when Maya’s life hung in the balance. It radiated terror, a man clinging to hope by his fingernails, and to see it now was chilling. 

“Wright? Is something wrong?” Wright shook his head, almost as if he was remembering Edgeworth was still there. That was also a rarity for the man; one of the things that endeared him to so many was his ability to make people feel properly regarded. 

“Sorry. I uh-”Wright scowled and Edgeworth almost dropped his laptop as the man struck out with one hand and grabbed something. He pulled it back, a scowl on his face, and between his fingers, Edgeworth saw something pale and white. When it twitched, he was able to recognize the shape as that of insect wings, from that of a butterfly or a moth. He was about to remark that Wright struck him as the type to gently capture bugs to later set free when the wings vanished in a burst of tiny light. Wright opened his hand, palm showing no remains of the insect, and wiped it on his jeans like there was something to be cleaned off. 

“Is that-” Edgeworth considered letting the topic drop, as his heart so wanted, but some part of him felt forced to press on from the pallor of Wright’s complexion. 

“One of your ghosts, I take it?”Wright shook his hand, wiping it against his jeans again before turning back to look at Edgeworth.

 “Yeah. Sorry about that. Been bothering me for a few days, but hopefully it will go away soon.”

Edgeworth frowned. “I take it this spirit is unwelcome.”

Wright’s smile was as tight as the wire he walked in the courtroom. Edgeworth could see his bluffing face on, the one he wore when stretched to a limit. What in God’s name could make Wright look like that now? “You could say that.”

“Wright-” Edgeworth started, then stopped, searching for the words he wanted to use.  “Are the spirits you see...ever harmful to you?” 

The plot of the Opera came back to him in a rush, the ghost tormenting her lover at all hours from beyond the veil. On that stage, it was merely fantastical, but now speaking to Wright, Edgeworth found himself off put at a possibility he’d never considered before. Wright always spoke of the spirits that visited him as welcome guests or at worst, minor annoyances. But was that truly the spectrum of those he encountered? Wright had made enemies in his career. Some of them gone to the grave.

Edgeworth remembered the lead of the opera lying dead on the stage after a year of the ghost’s torment and felt sick. Von Karma had been dead for over a year now. What if he had spent that time seeking vengeance against another defense attorney who’d ruined his perfect record?

“Nah,” Wright said, smile bright and beaming. “Unless you count annoying me with moths. And if it doesn’t let up I can always call in Maya for a good old exorcism.” Edgeworth’s frown stayed and Wright pressed on, voice gentle. “It’s nothing you need to worry about. I promise, Edgeworth.” He sat up straighter in his chair and tilted his head. “So tricks from the Spiritualist movement, huh-”

Edgeworth let the topic drop, and listened to Wright talk about cheesecloth coming out of noses and feet cracking under tables. He would have to take Wright’s word for it: he knew more about such matters than Edgeworth. And regardless, should Von Karma be tormenting his friend, he would have not done it with moths.

 A month later looking over the file of Dahlia Hawthorne, Edgeworth would learn that he shouldn’t have been so quick to dismiss Wright’s ghosts, both literal and metaphorical. 

[kitsu-katsu]

On Ghostbur and Fundy

Alright, fuck it, I'll paste here a thing I said in response to a post on twitter about how Ghostbur isn't all that innocent with the attached clip of the moment back when Ghostbur first talked to Fundy in his sewer.

The post said that Ghostbur was horrible to Fundy because he told him that "if I don't remember it, it probably isn't worth remembering" (which, fair, it wasn't nice at all), and that part of that whole conversation was guilt trippy and bad for Fundy, because Fundy can't just move on like Wilbur did and he should at least get an apology for Alivebur saying "I despise you" one of the last times they saw each other.

And that Ghostbur is just avoiding and denying things that could help himself too. OP mentioned that as she saw it, Ghostbur was just dividing himself into Alivebur and Ghostbur as a way to cope with guilt and that Ghostbur "blocks away the memories and bad stuff".

Well, here's my take:

That is horrible for Fundy

But at the same time as I see it Ghostbur is what Wilbur became post mortem, but isn't Wilbur, Wilbur himself is dead and done until revived, Ghostbur is an incomplete version, thus couldn't ever give the closure Fundy needs.

I don't see it as Ghostbur blocking the memories away, but more like being actually incapable of remembering, so he shouldn't sau what he said, but at the same time I think Ghostbur is incapable of actually closing this off completely

He didn't even remember what Pogtopia was (only saying "I remember a ravine") or that he even lost the elections, so it seems kind of pointless to try and get closure from someone who just can't know what he did when alive.

Moreso adding that we've seen him forget bad things in real time, like his outburst at Phil during doomsday, a few minutes later he still had the intention to be revived, but what sparked that was gone again.

And then we've also heard what seems to be a more accurate dead Wilbur in the disk war finale that was separate from Ghostbur and actually seemed to be the complete version of Wilbur who didn't really care for Ghostbur.

But now, aside from my response from like a week ago, I'd also like to add that Fundy helped in fueling Wilbur's paranoia. From Wilbur's POV he was exiled from his nation and the first thing he saw when looking back was his dear son tearing down the walls and burning the flag, Fundy outright said "He's just a founder and I was born here, nothing else" TO HIS FACE. And then worked with Schlatt until the final stretch.

It just seems convenient to leave out those facts, being that they provide a perfectly good explanation to not only further Wilbur's paranoia that everyone he cared for would turn on him, that no one really wanted him, but also as an explanation for why, on the final stretch, Wilbur kind of rejected Fundy even if he revealed to be working as a spy. Just put yourself in his shoes a little with the knowledge that he's not exactly acting completely rationally, he's been getting eaten alive by paranoia for months, and one of the biggest apparent proofs of the paranoia being right just tells him that he was actually on his side. I don't exactly blame Wilbur for not outright trusting him, his POV doesn't suggest he should.

And then he died with all his problems and Ghostbur came, but as I said, if Fundy seeks closure, he can't get it from Ghostbur, because Ghostbur isn't just blocking away memories, he can't remember outright.

And I also think that overlooking what Ghostbur has reiterated time and time again that he is not Wilbur is a foolish mistake. For all intents and purposes Ghostbur is more like a product of Wilbur's life, but he really isn't Wilbur. He can't be Alivebur because he only has bits and pieces of what Alivebur was, and all the blank spaces are filled with vague accounts of "he was a terrible person". He also canonically isn't all of Wilbur's dead form, because we KNOW a dead Wilbur talks to Tommy two times already and that dead Wilbur seems to be more like the complete version, the one who went through Pogtopia and didn't just "find a ravine".

To end with, Fundy's pain is valid, and he does deserve closure, but OP completely ignored Ghostbur's and Alivebur's pain as well. Alivebur was being consumed by paranoia and in a bad mental state, he was acting recklessly. And imagine being Ghostbur too. You came into this world remembering your death as a good thing, your father as the hero who slayed the dragon and saved the town, and aside from that only remembering the good parts, the parts when you were ok, happy, stable, when your son and all your friends didn't seem to be against you, but whenever your life gets mentioned a remark about how awful you were springs up, "Alivebur was just bad" the people say in half told tales of Alivebur's days, and Ghostbur is innocent to a fault, everything's black and white and the black gets forcefully removed by his amnesia to sad memories, I don't think it's difficult to see why he just wants to avoid further conversation about how awful Alivebur seemed to be, he can't even remember it and just has to be confronted with the fact that people must be right, and Alivebur must've been awful, but he also separated himself from Alivebur because of course he would, they are functionally different people.

And Ghostbur and Wilbur didn't exactly "just move on" either. Wilbur died, there's nowhere else to go from there, the dude spent 9 afterlife years playing solitare, he didn't exactly reinvent himself. And Ghostbur was just perpetually stuck in a cycle of forgetfulness, of getting taken advantage of, of hurting and forgetting, of being oblivious and getting treated as both a toddler and the dude who blew up a country.

TLDR: They were both hurt, they both deserve better, they deserve closure and for their relationship to heal, but ignoring Wilbur's side is just stupid. They're just damaged people hurting each other further in the end.

[sendmyresignation]

You Got Blood On Your Money

Question: how do you make honest art? Is this not the eternal conflict as a creator- how to stay genuine to yourself and your art without tripping into the pitfalls that lay within fame or money or popular culture? Every creator must grapple with the fight between being seen and being sold. But very few artists struggle with this quite as visibly as My Chemical Romance has. From the inception of this band, which has always been more art project than musical endeavor, its members have tried desperately to convey a bone-deep sincerity fundamental to their work. From their very first song, the band proclaims itself as a savior to a generation that had been stripped of their will in the face of unimaginable horror. At the same time, there exists within their music a commitment to storytelling, a desire to fill the empty space in rock music with narrative and macabre and emotion that had been absent. Both of these elements manifest themselves into a band that very seriously considered it their mission to save people’s lives, as well as to create deeply meaningful art. But how do you save as many people as possible without being corrupted by the spotlight? And how do maintain genuine storytelling as you get further and further from the basement shows you got your started in?

These are questions that permeate their music at every turn, something that haunted each album and made itself known in each new project. And while there are many ways to dissect this particular struggle in their discography, nowhere is it more apparent than in the dispute between Thank You For the Venom and its reimagined successor- Tomorrow’s Money. These songs are noticeably similar in their structure as well as lyricism and imagery but instead of the latter building off of the other, they are inverses of each other. And they speak to My Chem’s long battle with becoming a legendary band in the midst of also attempting to keep their identities as artists and outsiders. And in analyzing their differences, it becomes reflective of the band’s main career-long conflict between the commodification of their art and the need to create something larger than themselves. And the question remains, were they successful?

Before we answer that, let's talk about Thank You for the Venom. To begin, it's important to note that Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge is an interesting part of My Chemical Romance’s discography because ultimately, it is unconcerned with legacy, but instead is centered on the immediacy of loss and the reactionary pursuit of revenge. In a record overwhelmed with death and grief, there is very little mention of the afterlife for either the living or the dead- characters are murdered but there is very little textual violence. Characters come back to life but there is minimal discussion of how they died or where exactly they were in death. However, that does not mean Revenge is not devoid of mythologizing- it just happens to be about immediate intention rather than a long-term commitment. It is because of this reckless drive forward almost to spite the odds that allows for Venom to exist as the band's declaration- it is their call to arms. Specifically, the track is a pronouncement of My Chemical Romance as renegades fighting against the fake, safe bands writing hits for money instead of survival or purpose: they “won’t front the scene” if you paid them, after all, but are instead running from their enemies. And not only are they an oppositional force, but they are pariahs, targets- something you can try to kill but will fail at. More specifically, in “If this is what you want the fire at will” there is an element of martyrdom, the idea that they are not just a necessary part of the very structure of society but also there is the implication that killing them is to concede to their influence and a necessary part of their lifecycle. Once you get big enough to become a target, you inevitably will be shot down- that is the final step of a great and honest band’s success. This also feeds into the album's wider ideas surrounding revenge as a concept as the greatest revenge is finding success in the aspects of yourself and, by extension, the things you create that other people thought were worthless (I don't think it's a coincidence so much of this album is steeped in comic book imagery and art and mixing punk and metal and theater when those are things the band would get shit on for enjoying). At the same time, this theme exists as the foundation necessary to create an anthem of survival- revenge is the fuel that keeps the protagonist, as well as the band, in motion. Look at the specifics of their thesis- “Just the way the doctor made me” and “You’ll never make me leave” are both reconciliations with the self in spite of the prevailing narrative against them. That connects to the way this song is a statement of a savior and a martyr twofold- “Give me all your hopeless hearts and make me ill” as a representation of the band taking on the pain of others to keep them both alive. All told, in Venom there is perseverance in the face of a large, unimaginable adversary. It is a threat directed at your enemies. It’s living as free and ugly and completely yourself as you can until they shoot you down in a hail of bullets. And then even that end is itself a victory.

Here, at its core, Venom is really the singular instance in the entire album where the band reconciles with an image. And the image the band creates for themselves is as outcasts in opposition to the "scene" and as a revenge plot, proving to their audience the value of authenticity and survival and rubbing it in the faces of those who doubted them. These themes about what My Chemical Romance is and what their goals are is something they wrestle with for the rest of their career- how do you say lives, reach an audience, and remain a fighting force against the societal norm when you exceed your mission and become part of the fabric of popular culture? But that is for later, at this moment, Revenge imagines no future. Only this desperate battlecry.

By contrast, Tomorrow’s Money is dealing with the aftermath. Functioning as a cynical reimagining of Venom, the song is structurally, thematically, and even lyrically reminiscent of Venom to an uncanny degree. First and foremost, the songs are structured the same- a slow build-up into a whispered intro, a multi-part chorus, the exact same chorus-verse layout, and a strikingly similar solo. Looking at the two Toro solos more closely, they both feature more building up as well as tremolos, triples, darker tones, and what sounds like a slide progression just ripping through both of them. Tomorrow’s Money is mimicking Venom pretty clearly here- either as a direct reference or because Venom is so reminiscent of the condensed MCR sound that they’re ripping off to make their point. And looking deeper at the themes present in Money specifically, just like Revenge, there is a clear lack of legacy- “we got no heroes ‘cause our heroes are dead” calling back to the very real disillusionment of Disenchanted that’s placed specifically in a song about becoming part of the machine, being heroes themselves, to nod to the fact that the very mission of the band is dead as well.

Simply put, Money tackles similar issues as Venom about fame and audience and creating art while using much of the same language and metaphors to completely invert the claims found in the “original”. To start with, both songs use the verbage “bleeding” to associate with a kind of suffering for your art that was an aspect of their previous band ideology. Namely, it’s the idea that the audience makes the band ill through the “hopeless hearts” as much as the “poison” does. The “what’s life like bleeding on the floor” of Venom is paired with “you’ll never make me leave” is a statement of defiance and survival against the odds while still bearing the burden of other’s pain. Money, on the other hand, explicitly says they “stopped bleeding three years ago” as a rejection of this leftover martyrdom prevalent in Revenge especially.  But it also refers to their newfound luxury of comfort, they have a way to stitch themselves together that they didn’t have before. These implications transition directly into the ideas surrounding health, vitality and living- specifically surrounding both doctors and infection. Speaking of the former, Money has an interesting lines in “If we crash this time, we’ve got machines to keep us alive” and "me and my surgeons and my street-walking friends" because they speak to both becoming a part of the “industry” by mentioning mechanization but also specifically evokes the living dead. In the MCR canon, the idea of the undead (both vampires and zombies) are antagonistic forces that represent the outside world, specifically fake people or the music industry. And zombies, in general, are already rife with allegorical connections to consumerism, like how Dawn of the Dead, a known mcr influence, is directly about materialistic culture. Vampires, subconsciously or not, are often representatives of exuberant wealth as well as beauty and desire. They’re also blood-suckers and leeches that someone in this narrative has fallen in love with, as if colluding with the enemy and allowing them to literally drain them and their life force. Thus, in describing themselves as essentially undead (when they crash, they’re revived) as well as directly collaborating with the undead, they are connecting themselves to the very forces they’ve been fighting. But perhaps the most interesting aspect of this association is how they specifically relate it to survival, the only way of staying alive is to accept them, to allow themselves to be hooked up to the machines that make them undead in the first place. Almost as if you make it far enough not to tear yourself apart, you’ll eventually assimilate into and become part of the industry. 

This idea of unavoidable assimilation is compounded with the multiple references to viruses- “You're loaded up with the fame. You’re dressed up like a virus” then being reemphasised with “We’re gonna give it for free. Hook up the veins to the antibodies, got it with the disease, we’re gonna give it to you”. Both these lines condemn fame but also implicates themselves as part of the contagion that is celebritidom at the same time it depicts this process as unavoidable. Not only that, they’re the ones spreading it at the same time they condemn it. This duality, possibly even exaggerated hypocrisy is buried deep into the foundation of Money. Even the ending line, as angry and inflammatory as it is- still names them as complicit as the "I’ll see you in hell" implies that they're going to hell too. Looking even deeper, there are multiple references to the dilution of their message:  “Choke down the words with no meaning” and “The words get lost when we all look the same'' both representing meaninglessness in the lyrics while “the microphone’s got a tapwire” is reminiscent of wiretapping or even the surveillance company Tapewire, suggesting their words are under scrutiny, they are being monitored and that could be one of the reasons for meaningless words. All of these lyrics reference, with subtly or, in the case of the last one, very obviously about the sellibility and how rigid the label of “emo” is and how they couldn't escape it - they may not have gotten paid to front the scene, but they sure did inadvertently lead a cause. And being put in that position was clearly very stifling, striping them of their artistry. Even looking at the response to Black Parade, it's clear that popular culture at large did not appreciate the record for its genuine message but for the moment in time it represented or the aesthetics it called back too. In many ways it was taken at face value- “words with no meaning” or just another dark, death obsessed emo record. What Tomorrow's money is is a rejection of the glorification of suffering and nativity of Venom in the face of becoming pop culture icons but it's also, in a way, reconciling with a perception of failure and loss of creative control that will haunt My Chem for the rest of their years.

Ultimately Tomorrow's Money is representative of the band's response to the gradual shift of My Chemical Romance, as an entity, away from martyrs to an accepted part of the music industry and culture. How do you reconcile with that? In this moment, in a post-Black Parade era, they try taking everything down with them- becoming a whistle blower to their truth. But perhaps most importantly, this conflict lays the foundation for Danger Days as both critique of industry’s commodification of art, as well as the reutilization of the obsession with legacy and death in their next project -no longer can they let the machines revive them, they have to get out of the city, yell incendiary graffiti at the top of their lungs, and explode in brilliant colors. It was time to return to calls to arms. It was time to return to the power of not just of death but of living on long after it, the album the act of becoming folk heroes for a new generation. And while the bright lights didn't last forever, by scrapping Conventional Weapons and starting over in the name of artistic integrity they truly created a legacy of material unrivaled in its sincerity, reach, and cultural significance. 

As we know, the story didn’t end there. The final chapter used to be closed, and ending with "I choose defeat I walk away and leave this place the same today" as the conclusion of their career. This was not the explosion Gerard wrote about, not the doomsday device but a quiet goodbye, a silent curtain call. It's another round of disillusionment finally fully-realized. And yet, the Reunion seems to be a direct contradiction to their farewell- in some way they did come back because they were needed, because their absence was a gaping hole in music at large which suggests they did change things, that they do have a noticeable effect on the world they inhabit. Looking at A Summoning for even a moment, the picture illustrated to the viewer is that they are an otherworldly power. That they are an entity that you plead for the return of, the hero and the savior on clear display. And regardless of how you feel about the postponement, you can never talk away that fact- some force bodily brought them back in their narrative, that it was human interference that started the resurrection. And that it was primarily through art, especially that video, that they declared their forced-to-be unfulfilled intentions. I've always liked to believe that we've cycled back around, that the cynicism of Conventional Weapons and then later Fake Your Death has had its moment but now it's time to return to that world of rebellion in this era of the desert- the reinhabiting of reckless living and creation. Again, we must ask: what does it mean to make art for the masses? I don’t think we’ll ever truly find the right answer, but I think My Chemical Romance have always tried their best to solve the equation.

[lifeofresulullah]

The Life of The Prophet Muhammad(pbuh): First Migration, the Year of Sorrow, the Splitting of the Moon

The Messenger of Allah Continues Conveying the Message

The Holy Prophet (PBUH) felt lonely after the death of our mother, Hazrat Khadija. Both our Holy Prophet (PBUH) and his companions were aware of this situation.

One day, Hazrat Uthman bin Maz’un’s wife, Lady Hawla, came to the presence of our Holy Prophet (PBUH) and said, “O Allah’s Apostle! When I came to your presence I suddenly sensed Khadijah’s absence.”

To which our Holy Prophet (PBUH) replied, “Yes, she was the mother of my children as well as the guardian of my home,” signifying that Hazrat Khadija’s transition to the eternal world had left a gap.

Upon this talk of the (pbuh), Hawla binti Hakim said, “Oh Allah’s Apostle! Would you like to get married?”

The Prophet said, “Whom?”

“To Abu Bakr’s daughter, Aisha, or Sawda bint Zama…”

After this dialogue, the Messenger of Allah said to Hawla, “Go and talk to both of them on behalf of me!”

Upon this, Lady Hawla rushed to Hazrat Abu Bakr’s home. Umm Ruman, Hazrat Aisha’s mother, was there.

“O Umm Ruman, do you know what blessings and benevolence Allah has granted you?”

Lady Ruman asked, “What?” Lady Hawla replied, “Allah’s Apostle (PBUH) has sent me to ask for Aisha’s hand in marriage”.

Since Hazrat Abu Bakr was not at home at that time, Umm Ruman did not give any answer to Hawla. She said, “Wait till Abu Bakr comes home.”

When Hazrat Abu Bakr came, Hawla asked in the same manner, “O Abu Bakr, do you know what blessings and benevolence Allah has granted you?”

Abu Bakr replied, “What are they?”

Hawla replied, “Allah’s Apostle has sent me to ask for Aisha’s hand in marriage.”

After thinking for some time, Hazrat Abu Bakr asked, “Considering that Aisha is his brother’s daughter, would it be permissible for him to marry her?”

Hawla immediately returned to our Holy Prophet’s (PBUH) presence and explained the situation to him. Our Holy Prophet (PBUH) answered: “Return to Abu Bakr. Tell him that “me being your brother and you being mine (does not include siblinghood through blood and milk) is brotherhood in Islam. For that reason, your daughter is lawful for me.”

When Hawla returned and made this known, Hazrat Abu Bakr’s worries were lifted. He engaged and wed his daughter Hazrat Aisha to our Holy Prophet (PBUH) in the month of Shawwal. However, the wedding was postponed until a later date. 

The Prophet Marries Sawda

Then, Hawla went to Sawda bint Zam’a.

Hazrat Sawda was Sakran bin Amr’s wife. She was among the first Muslim women and had migrated to Abyssinia with her husband. They returned to Mecca much later. After returning, Hazrat Sawda saw a dream in which the moon glided towards and then descended upon her. When she explained what she had seen to her husband, she received this response:

“If your dream is true, I will die soon. You will marry after me!”

Indeed, Sakran got ill after a while and died. Hazrat Sawda was a widow.

Lady Hawla, whom our Holy Prophet (PBUH) had sent, told her, “Allah’s Apostle has sent me to ask your hand in marriage.”  Upon hearing this, Hazrat Sawda was immensely happy. However, she had one concern: Would our Holy Prophet (PBUH) accept her five small children?

Due to her worries, she did not immediately respond. Our Holy Prophet (PBUH) wanted to honor and reward a mujahid (warrior) who had possessed the courage and devotion to leave her home, country, and family for the sake of her religion. For that reason, when our Holy Prophet (PBUH) did not receive a response he went to speak with her personally. “What keeps you from marrying me?” he asked.

Hazrat Sawda said, “By Allah, O Messenger of Allah, there is no important reason that prevents me from marrying you but I fear that my children will disturb you by whining; therefore, I hold back!”

Upon this, our Holy Prophet (PBUH) replied, “May Allah show compassion to you! The most favorable of women are those who encounter difficulties due to their small children,” expressing that she had no need to worry. Afterwards he said, “Arrange for someone within the tribe to marry us.”

Hazrat Sawda chose her former brother-in-law Hatib bin Amr. He married Hazrat Sawda to our Holy Prophet (PBUH) during the 10th year of the Islamic calendar. At that time, Hazrat Sawda was 55 years old. 

As it is seen, our Holy Prophet (PBUH) married this elderly woman only due to the devotion and loyalty she had towards Allah and her faith and through such means, he was taking her under his protection and allowing her to attain the honor of being “a mother of the believers.”

The Prophet goes to Taif

The polytheists considered the deaths of Abu Talib and Hazrat Khadijah as an opportunity to do as they wished. It was as if they were waiting for this day; they tortured and abused our Holy Prophet (PBUH) at far greater levels than they had before. Our Holy Prophet (PBUH) was unable to deliver his message as a result of the immense cruelty, insults, and torture to which he was subjected.

The polytheists’ ruthless attitude was affecting our Holy Prophet (PBUH) greatly. For that reason, he decided to go to Taif. He intended to invite the city’s inhabitants to follow Islam and to seek patronage from the Thaqif Tribe that resided there.

Taif was one of Arabia’s important places. Its gardens were famous. Furthermore, Bani Sayed, the tribe to which our Holy Prophet’s (PBUH) wet-nurse Halima belonged, lived close-by. Naturally, our Holy Prophet (PBUH) was hopeful that the inhabitants of this region would feel partial to and convert to Islam. If his hopes were realized, he would have acquired a great force against the polytheists of the Quraysh.

The date was the 27th of Shawwal, 10th year of the prophethood.

Our Holy Prophet (PBUH) and Hazrat Zaid bin Harith left Mecca in secrecy and later arrived in Taif. He invited its inhabitants to Islam. He explained that he had come to request their alliance against those who were opposed to him and attacking him within his tribe. However, he did not attain any positive results within the 10 days of his visit. In fact, they replied with insults and mocked him. Our Beloved Prophet (PBUH) also faced several accusations.

One of the chiefs went as far as to arrogantly say, “Could Allah not have found someone else to send as a prophet instead of you?;”; this comment greatly saddened his holy heart. Someone else said, “By God, "I do not want to talk to you, for if you are in fact a Prophet, then to oppose you is to invite trouble, and if you only pretend to be one, why should I talk with an impostor?". 

Our Holy Prophet (PBUH) understood from their words and behavior that no good would come from the people of Thaqif and was saddened as a result.

He was worried that the polytheists would hear about this situation and become more audacious. For that reason, as he was leaving Taif, he said, “At least keep this between us! No one else should hear what has happened.”

However, the inhabitants of Taif, who lived in a state of utter disbelief, did not comply with this request either. They were afraid that the youth would take interest in Islam thus they said to our Holy Prophet (PBUH): Go wherever you want to go but just leave our country! You came to us when your tribe and countrymen rejected what you have said! By God, we are going to stay as far away from you as we can and will not accept your wishes.” 

The people of Thaqif, who competed with the Meccan polytheists in their worship of Lat and Uzza did not stop there. They provoked their hooligans, street youth, and slaves against our Holy Prophet (PBUH), who was a guest in their region.

These raving and ill-mannered fools lined both sides of the street to stone the Master of the Universe (PBUH) and Hazrat Zaid. Our Holy Prophet’s (PBUH) holy feet were completely drenched in blood; the wounds he had received from these strikes prevented him from walking. From time to time, our Holy Prophet (PBUH) would have no choice but to sit down. Nevertheless, these remorseless fools continued to stone his feet each time he lifted them from the ground, which he did with great difficulty. While our Holy Prophet (PBUH) was being tortured, their strikes, jeers, and cackles only further increased.

Hazrat Zaid thought nothing of his own life as he willingly used his body as a shield for our Holy Prophet (PBUH.) He was trying to hinder the rocks from reaching the Master of the Universe (PBUH.) However, his efforts were futile. He too was drenched in blood.

Our Holy Prophet (PBUH) was only able to escape this despicable attack by throwing himself in an orchard. The owners of this orchard were two brothers by the name of Utba and Shayba bin Rabia who were our Beloved Prophet’s (PBUH) distant relatives.

Our Holy Prophet (PBUH) threw himself under a grapevine in a state of extreme exhaustion. After slightly recovering from the trauma of this shameful incident, he made this sorrowful appeal:

“My Lord! I only express and complain to you about the feebleness of my strength and about being held in contempt among the people.

“Oh Allah, Most Merciful of all those capable of showing mercy! You are the Lord of the weak. Only You are my Lord. You possess enough compassion not to allow me to fall into the hands of an ill-mannered and shameless enemy.

“My Lord! As long as I do not encounter Your wrath I will endure what I am given. However, Your mercy is expansive enough to not allow them to do this to me.

“I seek refuge in Your Divine light that illuminates darkness, puts the affairs of the afterlife in place; I seek refuge from acquiring Your wrath and not receiving Your consent!

“My Lord, I seek Your forgiveness until You are pleased!

“My Lord! Every power only exists through You!” 

Addas, the Slave

The two brothers turned their feelings of sympathy into fruition after observing from afar the vile and atrocious attacks to which our Holy Prophet (PBUH) was subjected. They sent grapes to our Holy Prophet (PBUH) by means of their slave Addas.

Addas brought a plate with grapes to our Beloved Prophet (PBUH.) When the Master of the Universe (PBUH) said, “Bismillah” (in the name of Allah) and began eating, Addas paid close attention. He said to himself, “By God, the people of this region do not know nor utter these words.”

The Master of the Universe (PBUH) asked, “O Addas, which religion do you follow?”

Addas replied, “I am from Ninova and I am a Christian.”

“So you are a compatriot of the Prophet Yunus ibn Matta?”

“How do you know Yunus Ibn Matta?”

“He is my brother. He was a Prophet. I am also a Prophet.”

Upon this, Addas could not contain himself; he kissed our Holy Prophet’s (PBUH) head, hands, and feet.

One of the owners of the vineyard who was watching this scene from afar said to the other, “Your man broke the slave’s creed right before your eyes.”

When Addas returned, they both suddenly scolded him. “Shame on you, Addas! How could you kiss that man’s head, feet, and hands?”

Addas replied, “There is no one on Earth who is more auspicious than him! He told me something that only a Prophet could know.” 

Our Holy Prophet’s (PBUH) Compassion and Mercy

Our Holy Prophet (PBUH) left the orchard and sadly proceeded on his way since he had not reached any positive terms with the Thaqif tribe. There was a distance of a span of two palaces left until Mecca when he noticed a cloud shading him. After glancing carefully, he noticed that this cloud held Hazrat Jibril within.

Jibril shouted, “Undoubtedly, Allah has heard what the tribe has said to you. He sent you the angel in charge of these mountains. You can command him to do what it is that you want for that tribe.”

At that moment, the angel of the mountains came forth and said he was willing to follow our Holy Prophet’s (PBUH) commands and that he could have the Abu Qubais and Quayqan mountains come crashing upon the polytheists if our Holy Prophet (PBUH) wanted.

However, the wishes of the Holy Prophet (PBUH), who was a fountain of compassion and mercy, were different. He replied:

“No, I do not want that. I only hope from Allah that the descendants of these polytheists will worship Allah without associating any partners to Him.” 

Yes, our Holy Prophet’s (PBUH) purpose was not to eradicate others with his malediction nor was it to devastate them with troubles and calamities. On the contrary, his purpose was to have others attain faith, guidance and eternal happiness. His every step, action, and undertaking was in line with the realization of this goal. For that reason, our Holy Prophet (PBUH) spent his every minute performing various acts of worship and his every moment elapsed into time as a bright episode.

The Jinn Listen to the Prophet

Before returning to Mecca, our Holy Prophet (PBUH) rested in a place called Nahla for some time. When he started to perform a prayer, a group of Nusaybin jinn became Muslims upon hearing our Holy Prophet’s (PBUH) recital of the Quran. Afterwards, they returned to their tribe and invited their kin to testify to faith. 

The Quran informs us of this incident: “And when We inclined toward thee (Muhammad) certain of the jinn, who wished to hear the Qur'an and, when they were in its presence, said: Give ear! and, when it was finished, turned back to their people, warning. They said:  O our people! Lo! we have heard a scripture which hath been revealed after Moses, confirming that which was before it, guiding unto the truth and a right road. (30) O our people! respond to Allah's summoner and believe in Him. He will forgive you some of your sins and guard you from a painful doom.” 

Entering Makkah

After residing in Batn Nahl for a period of time, our Holy Prophet (PBUH) headed towards Mecca. He knew that the Quraysh would not allow him to easily enter the city. For that reason, he had to acquire patronage from someone so he could enter Mecca in accordance with the tradition of the time.

Therefore, when he reached Hira, he sent someone to ask for the protection of Mut’im b. Adiyy, the polytheist. Mut’im accepted his wish, armed his sons and went to Hira together with them; then, he took the Prophet to Makkah. 

The polytheists were angered by Mut’im’s actions but did not say anything.

The Master of the Universe (PBUH) circumambulated the Kaba amid the polytheists’ glares that were filled with much enmity, prayed two rakahs there; then, he went to his home from there.

Throughout their lives, our Holy Prophet (PBUH) and the rest of the Muslims never forgot this kind gesture practiced by Mutim bin Adiyy, who was a polytheist. Our Holy Prophet (PBUH) even reminisced of this incident upon the Muslims’ victory against the polytheists in the Battle of Badr.

Mutim’s son, Jabir, came to Madina to speak on behalf of the slaves that were captured during Badr. After listening to Jabir’s request, our Holy Prophet (PBUH) said:

“If your father Mut’im had been alive and made a request on behalf of these men, I would have undoubtedly handed them over to Mut’im.”

[zikadraws]

So, what did Morty and Amadeus look like when they were alive?

...Oh hey~... Is that an excuse for submitting my headcanons that I see here ?? ...With pleasure~🎵 ^w^

Okaaay, so... Here they are. Sorry about the pictures.

(click on them for a better sight)

So, now... About my headcanons :

Morty :

Was of Italian origins (like he sounds in the game) and moved to France to live his passion for cinema, because it was the ''country of the Lumière brothers''.

He was absolutely charmed by this country, and thus adopted a lot of its native stereotypes (like the beret, the croissants...), although conserving his own native Italian habits.

As a director, he was an independent one, and produced his movies truly out of passion, without any regards for the financial interest aspect. Which caused the other producers who visited to make sure he wasn't too bad of a concurrent to leave feeling genuinely bad for him, convinced that his recklessness would inevitably lead him to banqueroute.

And indeed, he had gruesome financial issues, at the point his actors were mainly volunteers, and he had to make unsafe restraints on the material caring-of. And he was thinking of opening a cinema class to fix that financial thingie.

Unfortunately, due to the restraints on material renewing, his studio wasn't safe anymore and he died because a projector broke and fell... Crushing him. His death saddened his workmates a lot, as they intended to help him financially to settle his cinema class project. He was about 30.

-

Amadeus Wolfgeist :

He lived a bit before the French Revolution, and was an ambitious pianist who got recommended to the king Louis XV's entourage, so moved from Germany to the king's court, where the Revolution was meant to happen. (Though he didn't die because of it.)

He was pretty ambitious, distinguished and implicated to his passion, but was HATED by the other court's musicians, because he had stricter habits than them (notably on hygiene, yes), represented too much of a concurrence since he was influent, ambitious and talented...

...but also because in all honesty, he was basically a pretentious prick with them ; always criticizing them, being pedant with them... Not profiting from the revellings advantages that the court had to offer.

(And I mean, he IS. Just, have you seen the portrait in his loge ?? That man has quite the high idea of himself, seriously.)

They started spending rumors about him, saying he was homosexual due to the fact he never went to brothels like they were doing, and was always pretty concerned by his looks... And even if it was most likely true aftermatch (sorry...^v^'''), he got extremely worried about what these rumors could have done to his reputation (he still hold it unhealthily important as a ghost, btw) and had to act so these rumors would be cancelled. (An indescribable humiliation, for him.)

He died because his concurrents ended up slowly poisoning him using lightened cyanide, which caused him to have a fatal heart attack while he was organising an orchestra. They knew that his impatient and temperamental nature would let it pass as an accidental death. But then he became a ghost and found out about this. He predictably turned enraged and vengeful, and so started haunting the court's stage, manifesting himself when his concurrents had to play and then trying to kill them. He freaked out everyone inside and out the audience so bad that they choose to condamn then burn down the stage building. Amadeus kept haunting the ruins until his assassins got eventually killed when the Revolution happened years later. Then he felt satisfied and left, still determined that he was to mark the musical field ; even if it had to happen during his afterlife.

---

Well, I think that was about it ! That's all I got for these two for now, thanks for providing me an opportunity to tell about my headcanons. And I hope you like how they look ;)

Thank you for the ask and have a great time. Ciao !~✨😊✨

[hopelesslygazingthestars]

When Elia was a child her mother told her that the women in her family were known for being touched by the Gods. It started with Nymeria, the warrior-princess, who the other kingdoms later called witch, for her dizzy spells and prophetic dreams which drove her to commandeer ten thousand Rhoynar ships to the shores of Westeros and unite the small, warring factions of Dorne under the banner of House Martell.

Sometimes, the visions skipped generations, but their familial gift persevered through the generations bestowing a somewhat cursed inheritance upon the daughters of Nymeria’s descendants. Elia would never be so well regarded as a true conduit of the Gods like Nymeria, but she had the gift of prophetic dreams which allowed her to interpret the will of the Gods and the fate of herself and those around her.

It was not a present that was always there as it had a mind of its own; choosing when, where and, most of all, who was the subject of her dreams. Elia praised it in the past when her visions of purple stars led her to Starfall, led her to Ashara Dayne. Even though her head ached for many moons prior, her heart found a joy she could not explain when she met a young Ashara. Other times, she cursed the nature of her gift for the unbearable silence that came when her father died suddenly with no explainable cause.  

Thus, on the eve before the Dornish Party would leave for the Lannisport Tourney, to celebrate the birth of Prince Viserys, when Elia again dreamt of Prince Rhaegar she was certain to take it as a sign.

Rhaegar visited her fantasies as he had the year past; haunting Valyrian eyes drawing her in as he walked on water with his arms outstretched, wordlessly calling her to make a choice. Although, this time, while one hand was outstretched with a fist of dripping crimson rubies; in the other, the Prince held onto the hand of a young boy. The boy, who was no older than five, had hair so dark it resembled her own, Rhaegar’s pale skin and the darkest indigo eyes they appeared near black; and in small chubby fingers lay a crown of winter roses. Although the pair did not speak, nor did they smile, Elia was filled up with a love she could not explain.

In the end, she accepted the offerings, rubies and roses, and took the extended hands. She could not see where they led her, only that she too walked on water, and when she awoke, her skin tingled with the feeling of fate.

The fact that her dreams led her twice to the man that would one day be known as the King of the Seven Kingdoms could be nothing less than a gift, no matter the outcome or the pain it would cause her in the end.

Staring down at her bed companion, Ashara’s warning circled about her mind; the foretelling of the Prince’s infectious sorrow that would drown whoever dared to get close. Yet, with the ghost sensation of that boy’s hand in her own, and the image of Valyrian eyes boring into her own, she could not force away the visions which seemed fateful. Her heart ached for the child in her dreams she was certain was her son. Children were Elia’s greatest want. She yearned for nothing more than the experience of motherhood, had wanted it since her own mother gave her domain over the Water Gardens protecting children; noble and smallfolk alike, ensuring childhoods filled with love and joy.

Therefore, Elia left a sleeping Ashara and headed to the Princess’ solar and explained her dreams to her mother. Afterward, she watched a fire return anew in the Princess Furiosa she had not seen since long before her father’s death.

In the years past, Elia saw and felt the disappointment in her mother’s aging dark eyes, in that she had not yet found a worthy match for her only daughter. She was her mother’s most beloved child. Furiosa often spoke of the painful years in which she tried for more children after Doran. Two sons were lost before Elia came along, and she too nearly died. A tiny thing, born blue and waited a long few minutes before she gave the wailing cries of life. For the struggle Furiosa experienced bringing Elia to life, she had sworn her a future worthy of the pain. Elia was Dorne’s prized sun.

“You are fated to be the Queen of the Seven Kingdoms.” Furiosa concluded.

Uncertainty swirled about the pit of her stomach. She remembered her reception in Kings Landing the year previous, there was little love for Dorne or their royalty.  

“How can you be so certain of my dreams, mother?”

Furiosa shifted a little on her enormous bed bringing Elia closer in their embrace.

“You are the blood of Nymeria. You are touched by the Gods.” She stated as if it was the simplest thing in the world.

“How can that be true when the Gods saw it fit to bless me a sickly princess?”

Elia’s malady was something she fought every single day. She exhausted herself trying to keep up with those around her, and despite all the potions, poisons and infusions, no treatment ever worked so well as to keep her permanently healthy. Inevitably, she always fell to crippling exhaustion that would see her off her feet for weeks at a time. How could she possibly be destined to be the Queen?

Furiosa turned sharply to face her. Their eyes met, and Elia saw certainty reflected in the dark orbs that mirrored her own.

“When you were born, so small, so frail, I thought it was my duty to love you more than any of my children. I thought your infirmity a weakness… I was wrong.”

Elia aspired to be a woman as formidable as her mother. She grew up watching the mere mention of her name earn respect or instil fear into the hearts of many a man. Furiosa was named appropriately, for she was truly the mistress of rage, and even if Dorne was not loved in Westeros, none would ever cross her for fear of the Princess.

“Your infirmity has given you a strength even your brothers do not possess. Doran is your father’s son, patient and thoughtful, and Oberyn is my rage, but Elia – you are the best of us all. The Gods have come to you and shown you the future. It is your duty to see Dorne rise.”

Although the confession was the greatest thing her mother ever told her, Elia could not help but feel the weight of Dorne placed upon her shoulders.

Furiosa was headed towards the afterlife. For the past few years, she had been preparing her children for her end, but none knew how she wished her legacy to carry on. Now, she passed the fate of Dorne into Elia’s delicate hands and they trembled from it.

“What would you have me do?” Elia wondered.

“Lannisport shall be where you show your sun-fire. I shall deal with the King’s Hand, I have waited many years to enact my retribution…”

The Martells still sported deeply injured pride over discussions of marriage with Tywin Lannister from seemingly an age ago. When the Princess first ventured out of Sunspear to find matches worthy of her children, their destination had been Casterly Rock, owing to plans made by the ladies-in-waiting of Queen Rhaella. Despite Lady Joanna Lannister’s death after giving birth to Tyrion the Imp, the Princess expected Tywin to agree to the betrothals. They discussed marriages between Tywin's children, Jaime and Cersei, to Elia and Oberyn. To the ruling family of Dorne’s dismay, Tywin scoffed at their offer, proudly claiming that Cersei was meant for the Targaryen prince, and the only match he deemed worthy was sickly Elia to the Imp babe.

“… You shall dance to Rhaegar’s songs, charm the King and his advisors with your intellect, care for the Queen and little Viserys as if you were already her good-daughter…”

Furiosa conceived a plan so easily that Elia wondered how long she waited for this moment.

“… It is in your hands to win over the Prince and the hearts of the Westerosi, for it will be your child – the one that sits on the throne – that will give power to Dorne, such that none will ever again look down upon us.”

Elia had the tools to conduct every task her mother instructed her toward. The many long conversations regarding the histories of the realm, her domain over the Water Gardens, her mission to the Scorched Rock; and the constant encouragement of dancing and merriment; it seemed her education had been intended for a Queen

“A queen is not the king’s property. You shall be equal in your marriage even if not in the realm. If Rhaegar is anything like his mother, he will recognise that. It will be your duty to stand at his side and guide him to usher in a new age and make the realm a better place. While I do not expect it to be easy, I know you have the strength to endure. You are my daughter and the strength of Nymeria is in you, Dorne is in you, and you will remain unbowed, unbent, unbroken.” Furiosa described earnestly, as if she knew what was lying in wait for her.

Growing up, Furiosa often sat Elia and the other maidens down and spoken of marriage; what it was to be a dutiful wife; the sacrifices, the pain, the joy. This time, Furiosa taught Elia what it was to be a Queen.

“Will you accept the path the Gods have laid out for you?”

Elia gave pause and contemplated the meaning and implications of their conversation. Despite the unease which crept down her spine, Elia relented. For it was the will of the Gods and as devout as she was, she would accept for the love of the Seven.

“Yes mother, I shall follow the Gods to the end.” Elia vowed.

The two remained there a while as the low bustling of Sunspear waking begun. Eventually her mother spoke again, as if she heard the incessant thought that ran around Elia’s mind.  

“What of Ashara?”

Furiosa regarded her with a sad smile, like she understood exactly what she was feeling.

“Ashara…” Elia began.

Since their falling out at the Warriors day celebrations, Elia and Ashara came to a wordless agreement to push all discussions of boys and marriage away. Ashara seemingly matured overnight, and whilst the flirting continued, the string of whirlwind romances stopped.

“…remains devoted as always. She does not see reason to not be at my side forever. Seven and ten now, and she still does not dream of the things normal maids do. She would happily dance with me and poke fun until the end of our days.”

“She makes you happy because she is not afraid to treat you as Elia.” She stated.

The smile that had been pulling at her cheeks faded when she wondered how this particular pairing might affect their relationship. A marriage would certainly change things between the friends but one to the crown prince might fracture them in ways they could not predict.

“I had not expected change to come so soon for us…this will be hard for her.” Elia revealed.

‘This will be hard for me.’ A lingering thought of stolen kisses, hammering hearts and dreams of forever were pushed to the back of Elia’s mind where she kept all impossible ideas locked away, even from herself.

Her mother stoked her hair gently with her soft wrinkled hands.

“The Water Gardens would have you believe you could be girls forever.”

Furiosa loved Ashara like her own, and of those that ever questioned their closeness, her mother had never been one of them.

“Long ago, when your father pointed out the connection between you two, I worried for you. Yet, as the years have gone by, I have come to see that Ashara is good for you. I have witnessed the way she is with you, she will always be loyal to you, and for that I can’t help but feel it was always meant to be. I would not see you broken apart, though I might suggest you keep it from her until all is done, such that you might have the last of your girlhood together.”

Despite the guilt which settled in her bones, Elia knew her mother was right. Therefore, for all the love she had for her dearest Ashara – that, and some unknown fear in disappointing the violet-eyed beauty – she remained quiet about her prophetic visions and the Princess’ schemes.

When the tourney of Lannisport commenced, competitions for sport and plays for power ensued. As the newly knighted silver Prince won the events of the days, proving himself a true Targaryen heir; Elia won the competitions of the night, proving herself a formidable player in the game of thrones.

During the feasts, ladies squawked and simpered, lords boasted and brawled; threats of war broke out at least three times before each was forgotten in hearty flagons of gifted Dornish wine, and unfailingly, all eyes drifted at some point during the festivities from the taciturn King Aerys who sat upon his vaulted throne, to the irate Tywin Lannister to his right, and finally, to the plotting Dornish ruling Princess on his left. It was only a little satisfying for Furiosa that she would slight Tywin as collateral in their plans.

When Elia found herself repeatedly seated beside the silver Prince, much to the Lannister’s dismay, she understood it to be her mother’s work. She followed Furiosa’s lead and helped conspire for a match she deemed fateful. She danced to all of the Prince’s rhythms, cried at his solemn tunes; she impressed the King with her sweet wit, charmed his lords with her knowledge; and although the Queen and Prince Viserys were absent, she attentively and publicly cared for her niece, Princess Arianne and young Allyria Dayne.

Whilst the Great Houses fell for Elia’s act, Ashara did not. Except, if she knew exactly what was up, she did not confront nor question it, she simply mused quietly from the side-lines and accepted Arthur’s victorious crown of white lilies as Queen of Love and Beauty, and Elia’s performance.

At the beginning of the tourney, attendees whispered that the tourney had been meant as no celebration for the King’s son at all, but the announcement of a betrothal between Rhaegar and Cersei, securing Tywin Lannister the throne for generations. However, by the end of the competitions, the discontent between the King and his Hand were revealed for all to see; for there would be no betrothal for the lioness cub and dragon, and nor would there be a celebratory feast. Dorne won the competitions of the day, and the games of the night.

[nellie-elizabeth]

Supernatural: Despair (15x18)

I'm having an out of body experience, I cannot believe this. Last night was legitimately one of the weirdest nights of my life, and not just because of *gestures broadly* but also because of *gestures broadly* and myriad other small but still totally bizarre personal things coming at me from all angles... strap in, y'all, I've got some shit to say.

Cons:

We're gonna talk about it. Ohhhh, we're gonna talk about it. But let's start with some other shit before we get there.

So... are we ignoring "Dean was willing to let Jack sacrifice himself" or something? Like there was that moment with Sam and Dean where they talked about it, and Dean apologizes for pulling a gun on Sam, and Sam is like "oh it's okay Dean, no worries." But at the beginning of this episode, Dean seems to be just as worried for Jack, and as protective of him, as the others, with absolutely no acknowledgment of what happened in the last episode. This... should have mattered. There should have been some regrouping and some serious talks about this. Seriously.

The Thanos snap thing... guys, when Infinity War did it in 2018, it was kind of fun and shocking and cool, and we knew the deaths wouldn't be permanent but it was still wild to watch our heroes react to such an immense loss and then leave us all in limbo for a year. This... is not that. The sheer tone-deafness of having this episode contain a moment of domesticity for AU!Charlie and her cool egg-making girlfriend Stevie, only to have Stevie vanish... and then to end the episode with the biggest queer-bait/bury your gays moment imaginable... like...

Okay, sorry, no, saving the Destiel thing until I've sorted out the rest of this nonsense. The point is, seems pretty clear that the deaths in this episode (other than Cas') are temporary, and Supernatural already has the biggest power creep problem of any show I've ever seen... they really couldn't think of another way to up the stakes for the ending, other than doing the thing where everyone gets killed? Didn't... Crowley... already do this to them several seasons back? Am I hallucinating? There's nothing new under the sun with this show.

Why does this show introduce things and resolve them in a single episode? Like, big, huge things? We just figured out Death was trying to double-cross them, and now by the end she's dead? This show either limps along and does nothing, or speeds through plot stuff at lightning-speed. These last two episodes were big and dramatic and full of Plot but in a way where it all feels kind of unreal. Pacing issues like whoa.

And speaking of. Ahem. Okay. Let's... let's do this. I have some things about the Destiel scene that I'm going to put in the "pros" section below, and hopefully as you read on you'll understand why it's really hard for me to be black and white about it. If I had to, if I had to determine whether I am "happy" or "sad" or "grateful" or "angry" I'd say... sad and angry, 97%? Like? Let's dive in, here.

Setting aside the larger context, a couple of smaller notes:

Acting-wise, what the fuck was Jensen doing in this scene? Misha was acting his whole heart out and Jensen gave him nothing to play off of. I don't understand how Jensen accidentally played Dean so obviously in love with Cas all this time, and then in this moment, no-homo'd it so fucking hard. Even the stage directions in the script page that was floating around said that Dean didn't reciprocate. That's dumb, like, in a shipping sense it's disappointing, but also... Dean, what was your face doing while Cas gave his whole monologue about how amazing you are? What a great and loving man you are? Even if he hadn't ended the whole thing by saying "I love you" and then dying right in front of your eyes, surely you would have been feeling some kind of way about the whole situation?

Also, the scene was shot so awkwardly, there was too much space between them, and then Cas pushes Dean out of the way and he just sits there on the floor with Pikachu-face while The Empty opens up and takes Death and Cas away, making these weird shocked noises... Supernatural often has awkward pacing when dramatic things are happening in action scenes, where certain people have to stand still like it's not their turn on the initiative order in a D&D fight or something, and this was one of the more embarrassing and awkward examples of that.

Cas' deal with The Empty has not been brought up practically since it happened. Cas has been sidelined as a character a lot this season, the past couple seasons, really, but we had this hanging over our heads, right? When Cas says "I've figured it out, true happiness isn't in having, it's just in saying it", the moment doesn't really work on a character level, because we didn't get to see Cas do any of that figuring out. We didn't know he was curious about his true happiness, we didn't know it was an internal struggle/debate for him, wondering what it could be. A lot of Destiel people wanted it to be Dean confessing his love to Cas, and that being the true happiness... but of course that would never happen in a million years. Others thought it would be "yay we defeated the big evil, we can all be a happy family together," oh snap, I'm too happy, goodbye. Which would have been... weirdly anticlimactic, but at least would have made some level of narrative sense. This idea that telling Dean how he feels would bring Cas peace is... well, it's okay, it's fine in isolation, but there's no buildup to it, no tension to his moment of "realization."

And now to fry some bigger fish...

Let's forget about the fact that we never thought this would happen to begin with. Is it actually... worse that it did? Seriously, queer angel man confesses his love to stoic human man who stands there without making a single expression, and the act of confessing said love, knowing it's not reciprocated, knowing he won't get to be with Dean or even be near him ever again, is enough to make Castiel so truly happy that he's willing to die peacefully and forever, all in the act of saving Dean's life? Is that not... like... textbook homophobia? People toss around "bury your gays" a lot and I think what they're missing is that the trope doesn't automatically apply just because a queer character dies. It means a queer character dies because of their queerness, or they are revealed to be queer but can't get any measure of happiness and then they die immediately. This is textbook that. The act of confessing his GAY LOVE is what KILLED CAS. It's a one-to-one sequence of events. It's not a coincidence that Cas died right after saying this. Saying this is what made him die. That's... appalling. Truly, in a very real sense, it's appalling.

Another thing I haven't seen people talk about much is the manufactured nature of this sacrifice. We just found out Billie was going to turn on them at the end of the last episode. If Cas was going to die in a sacrifice-y way, did it have to happen now when Billie was basically just knocking on the door trying to get at Dean for a last-minute revenge thing, even though Billie was already at death's door? This was so contrived, like, can Cas not whoosh them away to somewhere else? Keep them running until Billie succumbs? I get that it wouldn't have been easy, and maybe Billie could have caught up to them anyway, but my point is, they manufactured this moment to be "the only way" that Dean could survive, making Cas' sacrifice so noble and necessary or whatever... but I was sitting there thinking there's got to be another way. If they'd wanted to write in another way, there could have been. The inevitability felt so very contrived. And, as mentioned, the impact of dying on this show has lost all meaning, so even Billie trying to kill Dean, squeezing his heart in his chest, did absolutely nothing for me. I knew he'd be fine, because there are two more episodes left. And if Cas hadn't been there to do what he did, Dean would still have been fine because he's Dean. Am I making any sense?

We have two more episodes left. I am... fairly confident Misha won't be in those episodes. All context, both within the show and without, points to that. I truly think that after all this time, he gets the only ending in the whole show that's unambiguously unsalvageable and tragic. We have a world where the afterlife exists and people can hang out there, but The Empty is a different beast, and this means Cas is... gone. Permanently. Like, his consciousness no longer exists, he's caput. They could bring him back from The Empty, in fact, they've already done it once... but if they decide not to, that's just... where we leave things, and that's brutal and unnecessarily grim. The other characters, even if we get an end-of-show TPK (which would be STUPID, more on that later), could at least have canon or implied-canon reunions in the afterlife. If we don't see Eileen again, we can get the implied ending of her coming back to life, or Sam dying and joining her in Heaven. Same with Charlie, with Charlie's new girlfriend, with Bobby, with Donna, with every other character that's died along the way, including Mary Winchester and OG Charlie, OG Bobby, whatever you want. The fact that Cas gets this, after everything, is truly the part I'm the most sad about, setting aside love confessions entirely.

So as I said, two more episodes. I'm worried that Cas dying is gonna get swallowed up with everyone dying and not get its due, thus making the confession completely isolated. Like, here you go, gays, have this one scene, which, in isolation is quite heartfelt from Cas' perspective, but can be carefully boxed up and not touched for the last two hours of the show. If they don't want to touch on how this would affect Dean specifically, they don't have to. He can be generally angsty and sad about Cas, but they could get away with never bringing it up again, and that is some grade-A level bullshit right there, my friends. At minimum, Dean needs to tell Sam about this. He probably won't, but he should, if the show has any sense of integrity left in its bones.

Ahem. Like I said, I have... lots of thoughts. More on Destiel later, but let's turn to the "Pros" section and talk about some other aspects of this incredibly crowded episode.

Pros:

Despite my issues with everything that didn't get resolved re: Dean letting Jack die, I did kind of like the "to somehow" scene, because it was a nice little breather for the brothers, it solidified them as being on the same side to the bitter end, that despite all the crazy shit they've been through, that they've put each other through, they'll have this as a bedrock at the end of the day. I'm not a brothers-only sort of fan, at all, in fact, I think a brothers-only ending betrays most of what's beautiful about this show in its good moments. But they are the stars, they are the protagonists, they should be the center of their own story, and I like it when we get check-ins like this, that shows how unshakable they are underneath all the other crap.

Charlie and Stevie... okay, cute that their names are like that, cute that Charlie said: "I liked the way she handled herself" and that's how they got together... eggs are cute, whatever... and if these deaths are impermanent, which... come on... they have to be, I do like that Charlie gets to have a girlfriend and be happy as a hunter and as someone's partner.

I liked the tense car ride with Sam texting Eileen, with Dean, Jack, and Cas all silent in the car with him... that was a nice moment of solidarity, all of them entirely on the same page about being there for Sam and helping Eileen however they could... even knowing the futility. What were they going to do when they got there? That was a great tension-building moment, in isolation, even though the deaths are likely temporary.

Cas and Jack's talk was good, I'll admit I've definitely been won over by Cas and Sam as Jack's dads... Dean too, once upon a time, but dude needs to do some groveling before he gets to be Dad again, seriously. It's nice that in the midst of all the chaos, there was a check-in moment. Jack is the embodiment of a lot of our end-game themes, here. He had a noble destiny to sacrifice himself, and then it fizzled out and didn't work, and now he's just left in the aftermath, not sure what to do with himself. It was important that Cas tell him that Jack is worthy of love and family, even if he's not "useful" in the way he thought he could be. Definitely nice to have that nailed in.

If we're following the Infinity War/Endgame line, the last two episodes will be majority Sam, Dean, and Jack, but at the last moment there will be a way to reverse it, and everyone else will come back in a moment of triumph. But probably not so much Castiel, which... well... see above complaints. The point is, seeing Charlie, Bobby, Donna, Eileen, etc. all burst forth for one final moment of glory could be really cool, if they manage to stick the landing with it. It'll be an incredibly manufactured sense of triumph and nostalgia, but it will probably work on me because it's been... guys, I don't know if you know this, but it's been kind of an emotional year. :)

I will say, working under the assumption that the dead characters will come back, I'm actually oddly... not mad about Donna dying. It was actually a legitimately shocking twist. A rule was set up: if a person had died before and been resurrected, or if a person was from another universe, they could be Thanos snapped by Billie. Makes sense. Sam and Dean are in danger because of all their deaths, Jack and Cas aren't safe for the same reason. Charlie, Bobby, Eileen... sure. But Donna should have been safe, given the parameters we started with.

And then Dean and Cas are confronting Billie, she says she's not killing anyone, we realize it must be Chuck... and then Donna, who isn't from another world, who has never died... GONE. I gasped.

And the hits kept coming... Billie is dying because Dean killed her with that small wound, and didn't even know it. That's another excellent twist. The past two episodes, back to back, have kept me on my toes about who to ultimately be afraid of. Chuck? Billie? The Empty? It's so much better than this slow march to Chuck vs. Sam and Dean that we've been getting all season, even if we do loop around to Chuck again as the final Big Bad.

The Empty is actually quite a complex, interesting idea for a villain, this entity that doesn't get involved in petty squabbles, doesn't have personal vendettas, but actually just wants to sleep and be left alone. Having Meg be the Empty's face here at the end is also a nice touch. I wish we could have had more of this, truthfully, and I'm curious how The Empty will play a role in how things shake out, if at all.

So... I want to go back to something I've been saying these past couple episodes, about how if this show has a grimdark ending, it will be a betrayal of everything they've set up. It will be so stupid that my anger will manifest in yet another round of hysterical giggles. What I suspect is that we'll get something peaceful, something where trauma will linger but people will get to start anew. Maybe Jack creates a new world outside of Chuck's power. Maybe Sam and Dean take over as God and the Darkness, as some people suggested, and Jack is the new Death. Maybe maybe maybe. Bottom line, I could be satisfied with the majority of this ending, and I can even (obliquely, reluctantly) understand that they wanted one final perma-death to really make the stakes feel higher. If they aren't killing off the Winchesters, that leaves Castiel. So what I'm saying in this paragraph is basically that I'm not guaranteed to despise the ending of this show yet. They could still get it right.

God, that sounds pretty bleak, doesn't it?

Before I end this, I want to talk about, as promised, the few Destiel-related points that I'd classify as "pros", albeit with a big asterisk.

First off, Misha clearly found the moment very cathartic, and he pulled out all the stops, and, in isolation, the confession was hella romantic and quite poignant. Without context, just reading these lines? "The one thing I want, it's something I know I can't have" and "because you cared, I cared. I cared about you, I cared about Sam, I cared about Jack, I cared about the whole world because of you..." like, that's some premium content, I won't lie. I also kind of enjoy the idea that Cas finds happiness in saying the words out loud, in being true to who he is. I hate a lot about what happened to Cas here, but if Cas' arc, in its totality, is about embracing humanity, and Dean is the anchor to that, this really does come full circle. He pulled Dean out of Hell, he saved him, he loved him, he'll die for him, and in accepting that love, that human love, he is finally at peace with who he is. Now, mind my comments above, I'm still not happy, but I can see how in one sense, this is narratively poignant. And if others are satisfied with it, I'm happy for them.

(Added bonus, while Jensen's acting was WACK for the majority of that scene, I did like the ending shot, the silence, him not answering Sam's call, crying silently into his hands. That was very nicely shot and acted, I thought.)

Secondly, and this isn't actually praise for the show, it's more a... meta experience? I have to say, the idea that Destiel became sort of canon, but in the most homophobic way possible, in the year 2020, while we're all still waiting for election results to come in is... one of the wildest, most hilarious things to ever have happened to me. I mean it, last night sitting alone in my house I kept cackling loudly to myself, in complete and utter disbelief. I saw Tumblr explode in a way that hasn't happened in years. I was transported back in time nearly a full decade, to the person I was when I started writing these reviews, or even before that, when I was new to Supernatural, new to the whole concept of being truly involved in a fandom.

Here's the thing... I never. Ever. EVER. Thought we would get any sort of textual confirmation. I thought at most, if they went for a happy ending for everyone, we'd get Dean and Cas as hunting partners, and we could all fill in the post-canon gaps. I once told my sister that I'd be happy with a one-sided love confession from Cas to Dean, because that part was practically canon before last night, and in a way, I am happy. I'm happy that this crazy thing actually happened, and if nothing else, all of those clowns can put away their makeup. I was never with them. I never believed, and there's this sliver of me that's happy to have been wrong. It's completely bogus how it happened, but the fact that we live in a reality where it happened is still kind of tripping me out in a major way. So I'm happy, I'm... flabbergasted, but I'm experiencing a very unique, unprecedented soup of emotions this morning and I never would have felt like this if Cas had died with a no homo parting.

And that's the thing, they let it be unambiguously about Dean, not just in that one moment, but all along, and that's really satisfying in a meta narrative sense that when everyone was reading it as "Castiel is in love with Dean," they were... correct. It doesn't really matter when they decided this, in last night's episode they made it crystal-clear that it wasn't a whim, wasn't a recent development, in-universe. This has been Cas' truth from very, very early on, his entire experience since meeting Dean has been shaped by him, he's loved him all this time. That... I don't know, it's absolutely bonkers that this is all we're going to get, but it does mean something, if you want to let it.

Welcome back to 2012, Tumblr. Last night was a wild ride, I won't deny.

I'm giving the episode a bad score, but I just want to say the Destiel scene gets a simultaneous infinity-out-of-ten and also zero-out-of-ten, imploding the multiverse instantly. That's where I'm at, folks. Insert gif of Chidi dropping Peeps into a big pot of chili. I'm gonna go take a nap.

6/10