#and then turned into his own thing
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
gosh i cant stop thinking about red being an old god because. there are SO many things u can work into that concept when it comes to worldbuilding (esp if you work in stuff with ash). like, the idea of red being an old god and ash being a newer god who shares a few practices with red's religion (and also lets be real since this ramble is gonna follow a lot of stuff with greek mythology)/cult is soooo fascinating to me bc it leads to fun things like the same rituals being done but for different reasons is sooooo interesting to me
like for example in my made up symbolism about them, i think that they'd both use blood in their rituals, but have different concepts/ideas for them. like with red's religion, i can imagine that rituals are often done with your own blood and mostly done for blood pacts, as red has a ton of themes of loyalty and that being reflected in his religion is sooo interesting. but on the other hand, ash's religion would use your enemy's blood as a sacrifice/sign of triumph, as well as a sign of loyalty to ash as a god. i think it would fit in so well with his constant hunt on having the upper hand/power and its sooooo. its so interesting to me this concept scratches my brain soooo bad
and going along with the old god thing, i think it would be fun if both of their cults met up enough that they started sharing their cultures with the other, and eventually adopting some of the same rituals into their respective beliefs. red would be the older religion that's not as worshiped compared to ash's (probs bc im thinking of red's religion as more of an ideology than a religion that offers stuff like grace or material goods LOL), but the fact they'd slowly be involved with the other to the point where you can feel the other's religion effect the other even if one has more followers than the other is soooooo. imagine the mythology with them it would go SO HARD
#mcyt#ashswag#reddoons#tw blood#media.warning.blood#<- not really??? but like just in case#tw caps#media.warning.caps#into the pantheon#i love made up symbolism btw its one of my fav things ever i WILL talk to you about it if you ask me#also like on topic of the god thing i think u could make interesting hcs for clown and spoke as well#like clown would be one of those gods that's just shrouded in mystery because his name just Appears randomly in old texts#esp during the dark times where no one wrote anything down#did he just fizzle out or was he turned into another god? who knows!#(that one is based on his old mc username being sinfulgod or smth)#hed be one of those ones who transformed into another god <3#and spoke would be one of those gods who was probs picked up as people were traveling#and then turned into his own thing#so aka no one knows where tf he came from. he just appeared in texts one day out of the blue#that one is inspired by the fact that he might have used exploits to get items he had on skyblock to ls#<- idk if thats true btw its been a while since i caught up#anyways ya ^_^#im sure you can make more connections with the other members but this concept is soooo fun#also 0 idea if this made sense but. yk#hashtag awesome rambles!!!!#swagdoons#asshole roommates#scam duo
20 notes
·
View notes
Text
pvp civ nation...... this aint much but pls take my contribution for this series bc im going insane i love hate this man so much get him out of my head
#senart#pvp civilization#pvp civ#I'LL MAKE A PROPER ONE I SWEARR I JUST NEED TO GET THIS OUT OF MYSYSTEM FIRST#if it turns out he gets a bad ending in ep 6 i dont think i'll be ok like#he deserves a good ending . or a villain arc at least. he deserves to go batshit crazy after how everyone treated him#ALSOO the chekovs gun video journal device thing?? The excessive 4th wall breaking?#Is it just me or does jt feel like evbo is gonna lose his memory/already lost his memory and was sent to the wood sword lvl with tabi#or like . Idk?? It feels kind of truman show ish. Well maybe not that but its just the vibe im getting w the way that everyone has their-#-own secrets. How the diamond swords seems to know who evbo n tabi is. How princezam knows about the diamond swords#and then theres also parrot whos just?? Weird overall?? Idk whats going on w him but i need to know his backstory wdym u think evbo will-#-hate you if he knows what you did??#ANYWAY BACK TO THE VIDEO JOURNAL AND POTENTIAL MEMORY LOSS.#I dont want jt to go that way (mostly bc i dont want to see evbo suffer more than he already did) but it rlly does seem like its heading to#that direction w the way that it also has become a way to narrate what he went through (ie when the ep shows his attempts to beat the-#gold sword lvl but hes narrating it from the future. from his video journal. where he already beat the lvl)#im going insane#Wait also what i meant by the truman show vibe in relation to the excessive 4th wall breaks it makes it sound like pvp civ is just a -#simulation#wait i just remembered its the matrix not that mb umm#anyways.#empty chattering
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
cant even use 👽 in the future. because of woke
#this joke is so bad im sorry guys#anyways im a firm believer that Data has awful fashion sense#this is one of his better outfits#i think he wanted to be more human so he tried choosing his own stuff the way anyone else would do. and that turns into something like this#my tacky little boy#star trek#star trek the next generation#tng#star trek fanart#fanart#art#data soong#geordi la forge#geordi's eyes when he gets the new implant things are so scary. did they have to make them blindingly blue?? data's are bad enough alone
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
i need daniel to be overcompensating for his insecurities so bad. 100 times more cocky and rude and aggressive and insensitive than he was as a human, falling back into old dangerous habits and vices, not just because now he has new energy and power and wealth to flaunt but because it's ALL he has, and he needs to cling onto it. play it up and revel in it so no one sees that underneath, he feels like a botched fledgling in the body of a sick, faded old man who maybe has no real idea why he was even made. that armand might think he failed in making him. that his maker didn't even really want him.
#i think vampirism isnt inherently torturous to him in any sort of moral way#but more in an inner self worth/image way#louis felt he was failing because he rejected/didn't enjoy human blood and death#i can see daniel being fine with killing but being insecure about the way he turned out/the way he is now#and his complicated connection with armand and what it all means for him. why he cares what he thinks or feels when he doesnt want to#but he does. and he has all these questions he needs him to answer#this sort of thing would be a way to connect him to louis further and also lestat now#louis who felt like a “botched vampire” for a long time and lestat who was immediately abandoned by his maker#and how lestat coped with what had been done to him by trying to fully embrace what he'd been turned into#anyway the bottom line is i think he should suffer and struggle with vampirism just as much as everyone else has in his own way#but he still has to be a massive insufferable asshole about it. and maybe get smacked around a bit because of it#iwtv#daniel molloy
812 notes
·
View notes
Text
Bonus 13: Beware the Grapes of Wrath.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#wen qing#wen ning#WWX's main weapon as the Yiling patriarch is considered to be 'Wen Ning' - which makes sense as far as the whole necromancer thing goes.#However...That *is* Wen Qing's beloved baby brother!#In her perspective WWX skipped town for a few days (or so) and took WN with him#only for them both to show up bloodied and in a state of disarray.#There's no way he told her he was going out to duel Jiang Cheng. For several reasons.#He doesn't want to involve her in his messes anymore than he already has.#It's less that she would try and stop him and more so that he honestly wouldn't even think to say something about it to her.#WQ and him aren't partners in this situation. He actually openly disregards her opinions several times.#Wei Wuxian's emotional distance from everyone around him is a big part of this arc.#Like all good tragedies...his biggest flaw is his hubris. He doesn't *need* anyone when he's so capable on his own.#He doesn't need to ask permission when obviously this is the only way forwards.#He has to do it all on his own! No one else needs to be involved!#And if you've been in the position of realizing you have a problem of toxic self-reliance - you know how harmful this mindset is.#It's why it's so satisfying to see WWX in his 'new' life start to let other's share his burdens.#I will die on the hill of 'love means carrying each other's weight. All a burden means is that I can give you support and you support me.'#YLLZ is less 'competent and sexy' and more 'depressed and can't see it'.#Another lovely nod to the main theme here is how he starts leaning more and more into the rumours about him.#Though we are also still confronted with how these rumours fail to actually live up to reality.#Rumour has it the Yiling Patriarch is undefeatable. What a shame if that rumour turned out to be untrue!
744 notes
·
View notes
Text
this just in: danny fenton is just as much of a mask as Brucie Wayne? - another danyal al ghul au
Turns out, being placed in a civilian family who have no knowledge of your background is actually detrimental to the health and development of a child assassin due to lack of proper support! Surrounded by strangers in a foreign city, Danyal Al Ghul does as assassins do best. He hides. Espionage is one of many teachings one learns in the League, and it only takes half a day for Danyal to construct a new persona to hide behind: Daniel Fenton.
By the time dinner rolls around, Danyal al Ghul is safely and securely tucked behind the face of Danny Fenton; brand new adoptive child of the Fenton family who came from overseas. A shy, quiet little boy with a thick accent and curly hair, with brown skin and blue eyes, and an avid interest in the stars. The best fictions are always cobbled together in a little bit of truth, it's some of the only truth he ever lets through. He apologizes in a meek voice for his behavior early, he didn't mean to be rude, and he watches the three of them eat it up with coos.
Lies roll like silk against his lips, he struggles to meet their eyes and offers them his weakest, shyest smile. It's too easy. It's easy to go from there.
Danny Fenton, adoptive son, shy and awkward and unconfident but friendly. Who struggles in his classes and isn't the brightest, but tries his hardest. He makes bad jokes and has a quick tongue and a sarcastic mouth. He wants to be an astronaut. He's got the best aim in school, and is a terrifying dodgeball player. He's one of the least athletic kids in his grade.
It's like playing two truths and a lie, but there's only one truth, and the rest are lies. It's easy to pretend when he knows it's insincere.
Danyal Al Ghul, grandson to the Demon Head. Deadly, trained assassin. Has spilled blood, has had blood spilt from. Environmentalist, animal activist. He loves the stars. He owns a calligraphy set. A sharp tongue, an even sharper blade. He's clever, quick-witted, he would be top of his grade if he tried harder. He purposely doesn't.
He misses his family. He misses his mother, and he misses his brother. Mother visits a few times a year, so few times that he can count it on both hands. He cherishes every visit, as brief as they are. It helps remind him who he is.
Sam and Tucker are Danny's best friends. They've never met Danyal, but Danyal's met them.
It becomes routine to become Danny Fenton. As familiar and as easy as pulling on a shirt in the morning. Danyal wakes up and is always first to the bathroom in the mornings; stares at himself in the mirror until he can finally see Danny staring back at him. At night, he locks his door and sheds the mask.
Dying throws a wrench in his mask; splits a crack straight through the porcelain. He's able to smooth it over with sandpaper and liquid gold, but it's a little hard keeping his ghost form under wraps. It instinctively wants to shift to show his true self. Danyal can't have that, he's spent four years as Danny Fenton, he'll spend another four as him as well. Even if the feeling of the hazmat suit in his ghost form feels restrictive, like a too-small shirt suctioned to his skin that needs to be peeled off.
He'll live. Er-- well, you know what he means. It's frustrating however, trying to keep his Danny Fenton mask up even as Phantom - fighting in the air is something he needs to get used to, and the sudden propping of powers throws him off. But he is nothing if not adaptive, and he hates that he needs to slow his own skills down in order to keep pretenses up in front of Sam and Tucker.
The first time Danyal summons a sword when he's alone, is one of the few times Danyal gets to grin instead of Danny. He's fighting Skulker, and from an invisible hilt he draws a katana from thin air. It startles them both. Skulker takes a step back at the smile that spreads across his face.
They're both silent as Danyal examines his new sword.
"Do you know what people like me do to people like you, poacher?" Danyal finally asks him, the accent he began to hide a few months in slipping through. He drops all pretense, dragging the flat end of the blade slow and appreciatively against his palm. It's a good make, and when he cuts it through the air, it slices through like butter. He looks up at Skulker with a smile; "are you ready to find out?"
When Sam and Tucker ask about why Skulker seems so skittish around Danny now, Danny shrugs at them and says with a playful smile; "I don't know, I guess I kicked his butt too hard after our last fight." and he watches as Sam rolls her eyes exasperatedly, and Tucker snickers with his own joke.
By the time he reunites with Damian before their 15th birthday, Danyal is buried beneath so many layers of Danny Fenton that his brother will need a shovel to dig him out. He's not sure what he'll find.
#dpxdc#danny fenton is not the ghost king#dp x dc#dpxdc crossover#dp x dc crossover#danyal al ghul au#danyal al ghul#dpxdc prompt#dpxdc au#dc x dp crossover#dp crossover#demon twins au#so turns out putting an assassin child in a normal family does not actually fix the child. it may just make them worse. had this thought#today and had to extrapolate. i have a whole ass post in my drafts explaining my idea for this lmao. my thought was basically:#'damian would be the better off twin because he'd have actual proper support compared to danny bc the bats know damian's background and +#+ as a result can actually address the league's teachings properly and help him dismantle the lessons that have been ingrained in him +#+ as compared to danny who would be with a random family - regardless of affiliation - who would only be able to help with surface level +#stuff if danny even ever lets them see that. danny would need to dismantle his own mindset on his own if he even thinks he has to.'#jazz is not a reliable or licensed therapist. that is a child. she's not even implied to be a good one. psychoanalyzing people doesn't make#you a good therapist. it just means you can psychoanalzye people. and therapy only works on those who think they need it. danny would not#think he'd need it and any attempts from jazz to psychoanalyze him would just result in him shutting her out and doubling down on his belie#tldr: starry made another au exploring the psychological effects of growing up in the league and he calls it:#'whose the more adjusted twin? Damian or Danny? Lmao Damian ofc. Danny got screwed over'#rip to damian you have your work cut out for you trying to peel back all of your brother's protective layers. that's an iceberg waiting to#be explored. o7 to you champ your brother got the short end of the stick. danny has so many things to unlearn that i didn't go into here#its an actual demon twins au too! would ya look at that.
999 notes
·
View notes
Text
"Wait."
The Acolyte (2024) by Leslye Headland
#acolyteedit#swedit#starwarsedit#the acolyte#star wars#osha aniseya#qimir#qimir the stranger#osha x qimir#oshamir#amandla stenberg#manny jacinto#tv#gif#*#q#hands#usermonstress#repressionrepresentation#knifeposting#down so bad i'm using this sacred tag and making big square gifs...#anyways isn't it funny that this is the last thing we hear them say to each other#and isn't it crazy that this is technically sol's lightsaber which SHE won which SHE turned red#the lightsaber that already would have killed him nearly TWICE had she and her sister not saved him#the lightsaber that destroyed his very own weapon#which he takes off her for his safety then oh so graciously gives back to her once she agrees to stay#and then he later places his hand over it like this is something they both achieved lol qimir bro you are not in controllll#whatever it's whatever did everyone enjoy the thumb caress? I thought the thumb caress was LOVELY
489 notes
·
View notes
Text
Just thought about … oh my god. Bakugo’s first real battle with a formidable villain after your kid is born; he’s not exactly “out of shape” (he never quit the gym, routine, etc… just changed it), but he’s thrown down hard in the first couple seconds, and he’s slower to get back into position—taking the time to steady his feet and assess the terrain, pushing out the lil tummy he gained feeding you postpartum delicacies as he cracks his back—
And the villain, god help them, decides to call out to him as they use the few seconds of vulnerability to attack again, screaming, “hey pop pop, don’t tell me parenthood has made you soft! How ‘bout I start calling you ‘daddy,’ too?”
Just as Bakugo’s turning back around with a new fire in his eyes, blood all warmed up, and shooting off to grab them by the throat to end the fight in one single move.
#Bakugo#the whole of Japan has been waiting on Bakugo’s return since he took paternity leave#so this is a big fight for him —- not just in terms of it being a test of his own strength but also because the medias hanging off his back#waiting to put out articles about whether he’s gotten stronger or weaker#they already put out tons about his ‘dad bod’ and the fact he hasn’t been focusing as hard on agility at the gym#hahaha turns out making sure his baby is strong and that you recover has taught him a lot of things#(aside from that you’ve been liking his thicker stature as of late too… aka: phat confidence booster)#and it’s that he can also be an absolute powerhouse at defensive maneuvers alongside attacking#aka: Bakugo gets back from his paternity leave with an all new fighting style 10x more sturdy than two years ago#being a dad has also made his confidence go up about 5000% so he’s become a bit more nonchalant in fights#hence why he’s not afraid to warm himself up before going in for the kill#LMAOOOO I need to let myself be corny#time to wash my hair now tho and check on my v#womiting kitty#gen#kids tw#caitie post
438 notes
·
View notes
Text
i've said this before but it's an endless source of amusement to me how hypocritical and petty the interpersonal drama between the tma avatars is... our noble patrons of the dread powers vs. their sicko cultists. that being said there is definitely something uniquely fucked in the head about the ones that kept larping as regular guys at their day jobs instead of quitting all that to psychologically torture people with magic tricks.
#🐉#elias was a sicko not because he built a panopticon to turn the entire world into his own personal perverted on demand streaming service#but because he genuinely enjoyed doing admin at his stupid gay office job#daisy calling him a freak was peak stones in glass houses behaviour but she wasnt wrong is the thing#tma
966 notes
·
View notes
Text
Here’s the thing:
I want Predathos to get out.
Not because I hate the gods or want to see them killed or driven off (in fact, I find the 'the gods are tyrants' arguments to be laughably incorrect and deeply hope c3 ends with the pantheon still present) but because ending the campaign without facing Predathos would be a huge anticlimax. If Bells Hells simply kill Ludinus and go back home, it will feel like killing the minion but never actually getting to the big bad. What if c1 had ended with killing the Briarwoods but never getting around to Vecna. What if the m9 had actually managed to kill Lucien with their trap in Aeor before he made it into the Astral Sea to set off his plan. We wouldn’t have gotten to see the nature of the somnovem, the horrific flesh city or the peace of putting it to rest, the wild creativity that was the final battle of imagination. If c3 ends without showing us what the fuck Predathos actually is I will go lie facedown on the floor for a week wondering what we missed out on.
Now, this doesn't mean I want the hells to purposefully let the beast out of its cage. I would prefer the campaign not end with the heroes finalizing the villain's plan and setting off calamity 2.0, thank you very much. But if Ludinus still has an ace up his sleeve that makes Predathos' release all but inevitable (which I honestly expect)? Maybe even if there’s a party split and one or a couple of the hells take the decision into their own hands (looking at you, Ashton)?
I'd love that shit. Show us what Predathos truly is. Let it eat Ludinus maybe. Give us a glimpse of the true end if it’s let loose on Exandria. Have there be a horrific realization of oh, this is what the Vanguard was arguing in favor of. And then kill it.
#critical role#cr3#cr3 spoilers#i said once that c1 was a traditional minion + villain set up with the briarwoods and vecna#and c2 was the minion turning on the villain with lucien blowing up the somnuvem and taking their place#i would LOVE IT if c3 finishes the pattern by having the villain turn on the minion#i mean we already got some of that by ludinus trying to siphon liliana#but i want that old man to get a taste of his own medicine#let predathos eat him or possess him or fucking trample him or something#tear him down by his own hubris#and frankly make apparent the hubris of anyone who thought releasing predathos and killing the gods was a good and just plan#nella talks cr#anyway right now my theory is that matt has a twist up his sleeve regarding the nature of predathos and its potential release#and if the hells stop ludinus and opt not to let it out themselves SOMETHING will still happen#maybe killing ludinus is what'll open the cage by making him accessible as a vessel. what do i know#the whole vessel thing is also screaming 'someone is going to sacrifice themselves to contain predathos'
204 notes
·
View notes
Text
*Angel and Husk taking Nuggets for a walk, minding their business*
Some rando: Slut!
Angel: *stops*
Angel: Hold my pig-
Husk: Kick his ass, baby. I got your pig-
#*incredible violence ensues*#Husk and Nuggets cheer and wince in turns and damn if that isn’t the hottest thing Husk’s seen Angel do#and he’s seen some of those films#husk is so in love#Angel is victorious- of course#they continue the walk- Angel still splattered with a bit of his catcallers#Husk thinks he’s never looked better#Angel pretends not to notice how Husk is all starry-eyed for him bc damn does he love this man#husk lets him fight his own battles and cheer him on#he’s perfect#hazbin angel dust#husk hazbin hotel#huskerdust#husk/angel#Angel dust is a BAMF#and husk knows it#angel/husk#angel dust needs a hug#consensually#preferably from husk#they’re in love your honor#they’re gay your honor#i love them#angel hazbin hotel#Hazbin hotel#incorrect hazbin hotel#except not really#because they’d totally do this#we stan fat nuggets#fat nuggets
357 notes
·
View notes
Text
quick yoojin phone doodles from memory/without reference... im surprised it turned out so accurate considering i havent drawn him much(this is like the 2nd-3rd time) but ig it's bc im always taking notes in my head when i look at my screencaps of him... 😳
#han yoojin#내가 키운 s급들#the s classes that i raised#my s class hunters#내스급#if i compare w screencaps right now ill prob notice things but im still like#hey it looks like him?! YIPPEE#all those yoojin cheebs from memory paid off ig!!!#also im srs abt the mental notes thing like yj is a new chara i started drawing so im trying to learn how to draw him#and hes similar to charas ive drawn before like yeseo and kdj but i want to make sure to draw him diff so#i want to pick up on all the details#this is all based off his webtoon design tho... as i draw him more ill prob develop more of my own design?!#like how i did for twsb charas#oh also i havent doodled on phone in a while... why does my phone stuff look better than ipad skfjdn#my art#sctir#msch#tsctir#also the reason i did this was actually to practice side profiles without reference#it turned out p decent... i think i rly have been getting better at profiles in recent months
203 notes
·
View notes
Text
mommy let you use her ipad, you were barely two
and it did all the things we designed it to do
now look at you, look at you!
(objectober 2024 day 10: internet)
#dandy's doodles#inanimate insanity#ii#ii steve cobs#ii mephone#ii spoilers#ii 16 spoilers#objectober#objectober 2024#okay i'll be honest. the final drawing barely fits the prompt#however! it was inspired by it#'internet' immediately made me think of 'welcome to the internet' by bo burnham#and my mind instantly jumped to 'and it did all the things we designed it to do'#and y'know... steve cobs designed mephone to be able to create things#and so in a way mephone is fulfilling his purpose by creating the contestants#he's fulfilling his purpose by doing what his dad did#and then that made me think of the garden of eden story#where god creates both adam and the tree of knowledge#he tells adam not to eat its fruit and yet adam inevitably does; thus adam gains free will#and one has to wonder if that was god's intention all along - for humans to have free will#whereby adam - through the apparent defiance of god - is able to become exactly what he was created for#and y'know... mephone making his show as a rebellion against cobs...#only for that very show to be a creation borne of his intended purpose#so yeah. my mind jumped from bo burnham to the biblical creation of man#anyway!! very very happy with how this turned out#my favorite part is the charger snakes. i'm so glad i came up with that idea#also cobs' arm! that turned out really well! i referenced my own hand for his!!#in any event... it turns out i really really like biblical imagery and symbolism huh#also yes i did stay up all night like a maniac drawing this. the idea came to me and i just had to see it through :D i'm glad i did
214 notes
·
View notes
Text
The only fucking person who will look at you is me.
Chiang Tien as AI DI KISEKI: DEAR TO ME (2023)
#kiseki: dear to me#kisekiedit#kdtm#kiseki dear to me#ai di x chen yi#chen yi x ai di#louis chiang#chiang tien#jiang dian#userspring#uservid#userrain#userspicy#userjjessi#pdribs#*cajedit#*gif#mom said its MY turn on the Big Ai Di Close Up Gifs#i literally dont know what to say here im busy staring at my own set.#in place of brain there is ai di#his RANGE......chiang tien whats good. like. how. immmmm insane oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god#AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA#i love him SO MUCH. oh my god oh my god#i love the way he moves so much. his animations. like wow...movement...energy... that sure is a guy! and hes doing things!!#he sure is existing in a space and filling that space with him!#and then contrast that to every minute detail of his facial expressions and its just A Lot#its so much. god. GOD.#i didnt mean to make 10 of these i just started collecting shots and couldnt stop
380 notes
·
View notes
Text
I want it back / I drag its dead weight forward.
#Better drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#lan wangji#digital art#This was a style experimentation doodle that took on a life of its own.#In a way it is a great example of 'beautiful failure'. The original goal was to try a pure black and white contrast piece.#Which I very much failed at doing. Not quite ready for that! However what this turned into is something I like a lot!#Different but in a way that really pushed me as an artist. A little less simple; a little more proportional.#I was also recently thinking about LWJ's grieving that we only catch glimpses of.#LWJ grieved his first love for 13 years. His love that was never reciprocated.#He chose to dedicate his heart to that mourning and most painfully of all - he did so knowing there was no end to that grief.#Wei Wuxian comes back to life in MDZS but that is an exception. Not the expectation.#He was dead. Not missing. Not 'maybe in hiding'. He was dead and his spirit unreachable.#Jiang Cheng went forwards with denial but LWJ takes that grief on. He copes by continuing to carry the weight with him.#Let me be clear. Neither are healthy approaches. It is a way to cope but it does not mean that is healing or healthy.#Grief is loved transformed but it is also about endurance and letting go. Grief can change you. You can also change your grief.#It isn't a good or evil thing to experience. It is just an experience.
956 notes
·
View notes
Text
One of the oddest Silmarillion takes that I’ve seen recently is the idea that Beren and Lúthien had it easy.
I mean, let’s take a look at Beren’s life. The Battle of Sudden Flame hits when he’s in his early twenties. He spends five years carrying on a guerilla war against the invasion of his homeland by orcs and other evil creatures; his mother and all his female relatives have to flee, and he has no knowledge of whether they are desd or alive, or captured. There’s a strange darkness speading over the forest and turning it into something out of a horror movie, a place most people won’t even dare to go into. The band of guerillas is slowly whittled down to about a dozen people, who are hunted constantly by Sauron and his wolves. Then, while he is away, his father, his uncles, and everyone else remaining are brutally killed, and he returns to find crows eating their corpses and orcs joking about looting the dead.
He carries on an guerilla alone, against Sauron, for another several years, in the haunted woods od Taur-nu-Fuin. When he absolutely can’t last any longer, he crosses the most horrifying wasteland in all of Beleriand, where the only water present is poisoned and turns you mad, filled with evil spiders and who knows what other creatures. He’s in his early thirties but he’s been through so mich that he looks like an old man. He has lost literally everyone he has ever known; he does not know if any friend or relative of his, anywhere, is still free or living.
Then he meets Lúthien.
When he leaves Doriath on the quest of the Silmaril, which every sane person in Beleriand knows is laughably impossible, he goes to Finrod, the one person he can hope for any assustance from. Finrod has an entire realm; I don’t think Beren is any expectation that Finrod will go with him personally. And what happens? The king of the largest remaining kingdom in Beleriand besides Doriath is overthrown by his own people at the instigation of Celegorm and Curufin and left with only a few loyal people around him. All of whom then die torturously in the dungeons of Sauron, followed by Finrod’s own death saving Beren.
On top of everything else he’s been through, on top of spending several months in despair being tortured in Sauron’s dungeons, the survivor’s guilt that Beren must be feeling is extreme. Even after Lúthien rescues him, it takes him a while to recover. And he still hasn’t made any progress on the quest itself!
Then they’re attacked by Celegorm and Curufin – the people who bear a substantial amount of respinsibility for the death of Finrod and the Ten, the people who very deliberately abandoned them all to due and coerced all Nargothrond to do the same, and the people who kidnapped Lúthien and attempted to force her into marriage – and they try to kidnap Lúthien again, and to murder Beren.
The fact that Beren does not kill Curufin in that moment is a deed of extreme moral fortitude. The difference between Beren and Lúthien compared with many of the Finwëans isn’t that they don’t face temptations, or that their choices are easy, it’s that they overcome those temptations.
So. Beren spares Curufin’s life at Lúthien’s urging and Curufin immediately tries to murder Lúthien; Beren jumps in front of the arrow, is severely wounded again, and for the third time since they met Lúthien gets to work healing him. Virtually all of their time together has been spent with Beren recuperating from physical injury, psychological injury, or both.
And as soon as Beren recovers, he walks away from the one person who loves him who’s still alive, and prepares to rob the gates of Hell, alone. Because Beleriand is dangerous, and as long as Lúthien is with him and therefore unable to go anywhere safe, she will be in danger from both the servants of Morgoth and the sons of Fëanor. And even if there’s a virtual 100% chance that him walking into Angband will lead to him being slowly tortured to death, that’s a better option than the one person he has left getting killed or, worse, captured, because of him.
And then she goes with him anyway. And beyond all hope they actually succeed in getting a Silmaril - and then he immediately loses it, and his hand, to Carcharoth, and it was all for nothing.
And for the fourth time since Lúthien met him, he’s near death and she’s desperately fighting to heal him and kerp him alive, while she’s exhausted to the point of collapse. And this is the moment when she gives up and goes back to Doriath, because that is what has the best chance of keeping Beren alive.
And then, at last, a ray of hope – Thingol looks at all they’ve been through and says, fine, you crazy kids can get married. And they’ve scarcely been married yet when they learn that oh, it’s not over, Carcharoth is rampaging through the land killing people and this needs to be dealt with. And Beren, even after everything, insists on going. (Because, hello, survivor’s guilt! he probably feels that this is his fault for, uh, getting his hand bitten off.)
(The fact that the Silmaril was, for a time, inside a wolf and outside Doriath, and Celegorm, noted hunter, never got near it, is, okay, rather amusing to me.)
And then Beren dies, saving Thingol, because he knows deeply what it feels like to lose his family and he’s not going to let that happen to Lúthien. And she loses him instead.
Now let’s shift to Lúthien’s point of view. Since her first meeting with Beren she has been betrayed by literally everyone she knows and everyone she meets except for Beren and Huan. She has been treated like a child, and a madwoman, and a trophy, and a pawn, and a sex object, and literally everything except an adult person whose choices have worth and meaning. She is not a superhero; she does not know what she is doing; she is terrified for practically every moment of it, for Beren’s sake even more than for her own, and for much of it she is hopeless. She does not know how or if she can achieve anything; she only knows that she has to try, because it is better than sitting in Doriath waiting to find out if Beren is dead. She puts substantial work and thought and effort into figuring out how to get out of Doriath (given in more detail in the poetic version) – and then, just when she thinks she’s found help (note: Celegorm and Curufin do not give her their names when they first meet her; she doesn’t know they’re the sons of Fëanor), she is again taken captive, this time with the goal of forced marriage and the threat of rape hanging over her. And she still knows Beren is in desperate danger, and she still can do nothing about it.
When Huan aids her and she goes to Tol-in-Gaurhoth, it isn’t because she feels she has the power to fight Sauron one-on-one! It’s because she’s desperate and can’t think of any other options. And in fact, it is not she who defeats Sauron, it is Huan; once he is defeated by Huan, she has the intelligence and strength of will to force his surrender by threatening him with something he fears more than defeat, and to demand – not the freeing of Beren alone – but the destruction of Tol-in-Gaurhoth, freeing all its prisoners. The reason she defeats Sauron is not that she’s a half-Maia badass who can wave her hands and do everything easily! The reason she defeats him is that she shows up there completely vulnerable and in effect uses herself as bait. That is an extraordinary degree of courage, not some kind of deus ex machina. And she’s putting all the strength that she has on the line – she’s pretty much passing out by the time she finds Beren. Similarly, all her healing of him is hard, exhausting work that she’s doing despite being, the whole time, terrified that he’s about to die. None of this is easy.
Likewise in Angband – Huan’s advice and Lúthien’s magic of disguise and sleep is invaluble in getting them through the door and past Carcharoth, but the reason she is able to enchant Morgoth and cast all Angband into sleep is not primarily because of extreme power, but because, like every other non-Beren person she meets, he doesn’t take her seriously. Morgoth finds the idea of using Melian’s daughter as a brief entertainment amusing (and, if you read the poetic version, makes some truly creepy sexual threats against her), and that’s how she is able to get him unguarded enough that she’s well into her song and he’s already getting sleepy before it starts to occur to him that maybe this isn’t going quite as he planned. Lúthien’s victories are not because she’s just on a different power level from the rest of Beleriand, they’re because she’s amazingly brave and willing to walk into the most dangerous places virtually defenceless. And she and Beren rely on each other utterly – after her sleep song she’s practically passing out and can only get out of Angband because Beren is holding her up.
So this is who they are, at Beren’s death. A man who has lost everyone he loves and everyone who loves him, every friend or family, often helplessly witnessing their gruesome death – everyone except for Lúthien. And an elf-woman who has been betrayed by everyone she loved or trusted, except for Beren.
When Beren dies, I wonder if he’s even relieved that it’s finally him dying instead of everyone around him. When he sees Lúthien in the Halls of Mandos, I believe his first feeling would be not joy or love, but horror. That the last living person he loved, and the one he wanted above all to save, had now died because of him.
But Lúthien isn’t done. She goes to Mandos, and she sings, and her song says: look at what we have been through, look at what all Beleriand has been through, Eldar and Edain. We don’t want realms or glory or power; we only want a few moments of peace with each other, and we fought so hard for it, and we didn’t even get that. And when she’s offered bliss and immortality for herself, she says No, I don’t want it, not without Beren. She isn’t promised happiness or long life – she only know that for the short time she will get, she will have the chance to be with Beren. And that is enough for her; for that, she gives up everything else.
This is a faerie-story; but it does not sound to me like a trite tale of easy victories handed to the heroes by Fate or by the author! They fought and struggled and sacrificed for those victories, amd they did it without ever letting go of courage, and mercy, and humility. There is a reason why this is the story that Frodo and Sam hearken back to for inspiration.
#tolkien#the silmarillion#beren and luthien#beren#luthien#look you can’t dismiss this and then go: look at all maedhros has been through! he was captive he lost a hand#he had friends die in horrible ways because of decisions he made#all his family died#SO DID BEREN#he just didn’t go evil because of it#so don’t turn around and tell me he had an easy life!#maedhros had several hundred years in paradise#beren was fighting a hopeless war pretty much as soon as he hit adulthood!#the two people on their own are NOT the ones who have had things handed to them#the finweans had fortresses and armies and kingdoms and they DECIDED to walk into a war for vengeance and power#tolkien’s greatest heroes are always the ones who would rather live simply and peacefully#and who go through darkness and danger because they must
193 notes
·
View notes