#and then this happens and it's the only area of issue
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That's probably because if I'm right the painting doesn't show the coronation itself! The title is Queen Jadwiga's Oath, and it probably refers to the very specific oath she was forced to make in response to the accusations that she hasn't been faithful to her husband.
This issue stems from the fact she was actually bethrothed to a different man before - Wilhelm Habsburg, who was much closer to her age, and whom she knew since they were both children. It was rather obvious that she preferred to be married to him instead of much older Lithuanian duke (and if it wasn't clear enough, according to chronicler Jan DĆugosz she initially broke out of house arrest by breaking the door down with an axe). She only agreed to marry JagieĆĆo because she was very pious, and the possibility of the christianisation of Lithuania managed to convince her. Besides, there was no way to convince the nobles to agree for a Habsburg to sit on the Polish throne. From a perspective of time, it was a politically sound decision to turn towards Lithuania that spared Poland from becoming a sphere of direct Habsburg influence and ruled out further dynastic problems that could come with it, but nonetheless, for it to happen, Jadwiga had to sacrifice her personal interest on the altar of the reason of state.
The fact that Wilhelm Habsburg was present in the area at the time sparked controversy - also the fact that their bethrotal was theoretically a marriage on behalf of their families (sponsalia de futuro), that was supposed to be renewed by them and consummated when they were of age, sparked rumours of Jadwiga's unfaithfulness to JagieĆĆo and even accusations of bigamy. This led her to officially swear that she was never, and never was to be unfaithful to put an end to the rumours - that's the moment which is on the painting, and that's probably why the reactions in the background are so mixed.
Jadwiga is a fascinating historical figure - she was a peaceful monarch, but she didn't shy from war, when needed. She probably wasn't a decision maker for long (since in the beginning of her reign she was underage, and later she ruled alongside her husband), but she's remembered for her philantropy, piety and the legends praise her mercy and wisdom. She's donated her royal insignia to Cracow's university, which is why it's named Jagiellonian until this day. Unfortunately, she died rather young (she was 26 years old, ostheopathy says she could be 28-30 years old), from childbirth complications. Based on her skeleton, she was a tall woman (more than 170cm tall), with a rectangular face. I've heard some historians speculate that her skeleton bearing some typically male characteristics, like narrow and long pelvis and strong jaw might be an indication of her being intersex, which could be the cause of her problems with conception and childbirth, but I don't think there's been any research that would offer the definitive proof of it.
In any way, while (especially 19th century) iconography and historiography showcases her as a mild, almost angelic personality, I think her actions, both as a ruler and as a queen, show significant resolve and intelligence, with her trials to diplomatically resolve the conflicts with the Teutonic order, balancing between admitting her rights to Hungarian crown and maintaining positive relations with her brother-in-law, donations to education and establishment of hospitals.
She's one of the most loved monarchs in our history, and I think she earned it.
Also I love the fact that her much later, neogothic tombstone placed a dog under her feet as a symbol of loyalty. The tombstone is decorative, as she's actually buried in her favourite place of prayer - under so-called 'black crucifix' in the side aisle of the cathedral. She's also been canonised as a saint of Catholic church.
HISTORY MEME | 1/10 moments: Jadwiga is Crowned King of Poland.
The coronation ceremony that took place in the Wawel Cathedral in Krakow on 16 October 1384 was truly a splendid event: Polish nobles spared no expenses and the grandeur of the coronation impressed everyone present. But the historical significance was even greater. For one thing, the young girl who was being crowned (only 11 years old at the time) was to go down in history as one of Polandâs greatest and most beloved Monarchs. And for another, the aforementioned lady was crowned not as Queen of Poland (as would be expected considering her gender) but as King.
There is no humorous tale of a mix-up: the decision was made for quite practical reasons. Polish law was very specific that the ruler had to be King â but it did not state the King had to be a male. And so instead of re-writing the law and to emphasise the fact Jadwiga was a ruler in her own right, it was decided she should be crowned as Hedvig Rex PoloniĂŠ (Hedwig, King of Poland) and not Hedvig Regina PoloniĂŠ (Hedwig, Queen of Poland).
#History#sorry it's another essay#but I really like king/queen Jadwiga so I felt like butting in#People have all manners of opinions and speculations on how actually her political marriage looked like#(mainly due to a very large age gap though we don't know JagieĆĆo's exact age either)#some say it was rather harmonious and JagieĆĆo didn't rush anything others paint it as definitely unhappy#there's really no way to tell#one thing is certain though - Jadwiga exemplifies that a good queen was just as needed as a good king#even queen consorts in medieval times had a role much bigger than just birthing children as many would have you believe#they were often supposed to be the voice of reason bringing the king's attention to the social problems of the kingdom#and utilising their wealth and influence to improve the quality of life and support cultural growth#anyway one of my favourite historical figures
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pairing ââ kim minji x female reader
summary ââ in which she realizes how much of a lovesick fool she has become, and how needy she became because of you.
contains ââ wholesome, non idol au, potter job, confession, whipped minji, reader flirt, soft make out, emotional, slight possessiveness
taglist ââ @flyingcigarettes
[masterlist]
ââ ââ ê° đ» ê± ââ ââ
"oh."
minji mutters as she freezes by the door frame, eyes landing on you standing by the table filled with different types of fresh pottery, obviously made by you. you just place down your current one and turn to see minji blinking as she watches you.
you blink back before looking away, feigning indifference as you walk away to your seat. you sat down and wet your hands with fresh water that you prepared after finishing the last pot you made.
"morning." you greet simply, not sparing her a glance as you grab a good amount of clay before cupping your hand to gather water and pour it onto the dry clay.
minji felt awkward, walking over to the clean area where your bags are resting. she gently places down her bag, removing the headphones around her neck before shoving them into her bag.
she glances at you while removing her jacket, eyes soft as you gently move your hands onto the wet clay, forming them into your desired shape.
she averts away as she hangs her jacket before heading to another table to get her apron. as she wears them and tying the tie on her back, she brushes her wavy hair over her shoulder and rolls up her sleeves.
she walks over to the other seat next to you, sitting down as she presses her feet onto the pedal to check for speed and capability. Satisfied with the perfect result, she glances over at you once again, staring at you for a good minute before clearing her throat as she looks away with flushed cheeks.
"so..." she mumbles, tapping the clean bat as she thinks over what she should converse on. her heart was racing, and loud. she found it hard not to look at you, "uhm.. how many pots have you made so far?"
well, she tries at least. a rather good way to start the day with you, in a way not to annoy you unlike before.
your hands never stopped as you replied, "six of them." minji felt her heart flutter, cursing at herself for being so flustered around you for no particular reason.
she cleared her throat again awkwardly, "right, that's nice." she responded, eyes wandering over her set before noticed something important.
"oh.. i forgot the water." minji mutters under her breath as she takes the bowl and stands up, walking to the sink, unaware of your eyes landing on her back.
taking her time to rinse the bowl and gather water in it, and might as well wash her hands clean, she breathes to calm her nerves. she doesn't know exactly why she felt nervous around you today. she would've understood that she was a bit late today but it felt different.
it has been a year since minji had been hired into her auntie's pottery shop as a potter. the new young adult has been wanting to pay her college tuition with ease, and thankfully, her kind auntie offered her this job with a good salary that could afford her tuition and even her needs.
when she first met you, it was only you that had been working aside from her auntie. after losing some of her auntie's workers due to some personal issues or whatever, you were, basically, the only one that stayed.
minji was grateful to you for staying with her auntie, even if she doesn't know the full story of what happened. and it was obvious that her auntie doted and adored you quite a lot, when it came to minji's thoughts that you were a good person, based on her auntie's endless conversation about you.
when she tries to get to know you, however, you are a bit cold and indifferent towards her, barely sparing her any glances or sometimes take a long time to reply to her questions or talks.
although minji doesn't really mind, she felt a bit sad about being treated like this. but, as she assumed, maybe you don't like people much, aside from her auntie.
it was a long process and effort, but as time went on within a year, she was able to make long conversation with you, though it was just about the pottery, yet she doesn't really care.
it was nice to hear your voice and chat with you.
you were still like thatâ cold and maybe awkward, but certainly matured and collectedâ but you have your rare times when you suddenly become a bit clingy or a talker.
it was endearing, in minji's part.
almost adorable.
"minji?" your voice suddenly interrupts her thoughts, snapping her out and turning to you to see you staring at her with a stain of clay over your chin. minji blinks twice, and her face burns flusteredly.
she didn't notice that she had finished gathering water and washing her hands and had sat down on her chair, staring at the bat blankly until she was called by you.
she pressed the back of her wrist against her lips, looking away to hide her red face from you. "m-my bad.. sorry." she apologizes softly as she breathes to calm her nerves against her skin.
her ears turn red when she hears you hum in response, "are you going to start or what?" you say as you stop pressing your feet on the pedal, at the same time the bat stops spinning as well.
minji cleared her throat, nodding sheepishly with a pursed smile. "yeah, i'm starting." she responded, breathing to cool down her burning face and ears. her heart never stopped racing, just to be around your presence was enough to do something with her heart.
as she begins to do her business, you are staring at her with half-lidded eyes, calm in your eyes. it was obvious that minji noticed your gaze, just her eyes wandering around nervously and her hands trembling against the wet clay, she made a small mistake by her thumb pressing down too deep.
"ah-" minji sputters, blinking at the mess she had made. she clicked her tongue in embarrassment, muttering a quiet apology under her breath as she pressed down the whole clay to start over again.
it has been almost an hour before minji finally finishes with a smile. a large pot perfect for large-sized plants with a good amount of space inside the body, minji was satisfied with her work but was embarrassed to see that she took almost 30 minutes just to finish this.
"that looks nice," you suddenly said, making her look up from her work to you standing near the sink, facing her way. but minji's eyes widened to see your white polo's two bottoms were open, instantly looking away from your... uh, pretty cleavage.
her heart raced again, her thoughts were quick to turn into a storm. "c-could you cover up, please..?" she stutters as she is still looking away, heart jumping to hear you walking. she doesn't know if you're walking towards her or away.
"sorry, the clay stained my collar so i cleaned it a bit," you said calmly, wiping your wet hands with your apron, sighing as you blow away the stubborn fringes over your eyes.
minji bit her lower lips, aware of her own ears burning. "r-right.. alright," she mumbled, turning to her work instead before noticing her hair was covered with clay.
"ugh.." she grimaces, about to wipe it away when she notices her hands were completely covered with the same clay. slowly, she glances up to you through her eyelashes, already making eye-contact with you.
her cheeks turn rosy, "um.. could you.." she bit her tongue, unable to keep her trembling voice. but when she hears your footsteps approaching, you walk towards her way with your hand holding a hair tie.
she blinked when the thought, '.. did she prepare that already?' it popped into her mind, and again, her heart raced even more. the thought of you preparing the hair tie already before she says anything was so..
fuck.
she looks down on her lap, ears booming with her heart beating furiously and flushed face as you stop behind her. she couldn't see your face, and she doesn't want to, for the sake of her dignity of maintaining her cool side.
obviously, she was failing quick.
then her shoulder quivered when your fingers gently pressed around her skull, gathering her hair together and basically pressing your stomach on her back. the warmth of your body was quick to spread around minjiâ and exaggeratedly, around minji's soul and mind.
her breath was turning shaky, eyes clouded as she subconsciously leans back onto your stomach, finding your overall presence and everything so comforting.
behind her, you smile warmly as you gently tie her hair into a pony tail, brushing out her light fringes over her forehead with your fingers. then, you gently take out her side bangs in front of her ears and twirl them almost in a flirty way.
and you just know that minji saw it, just the way her shoulder jumps and her head bowing down with her ears reddening like an apple.
you pull away from her back, but your finger lingers lightly on her neck, your smile softening when minji presses her legs together. "...there, all done," you muttered behind her, eyes glued on her back.
minji felt her sweat dropping, her legs shaking and her ears burning. she was getting crazy and it was because of you. she was getting insane and it was because of you. reallyâ you're turning her into a fool. a lovesick fool.
and she's not even gonna complain!
"t..thanks," minji mumbled, trying to keep her voice normal and her heart calm, but she was failing miserably. her voice cracked in-between, breathing became heavy and her hearing was just filled with her beating heart.
it was so ridiculous.
"mhm," you hum in response, your smile vanishes as you walk away, tending to your drying pots, leaving minji in her overstimulated state. inside her head was full of cursing towards herself, for being so weird around you.
'aah.. shit, i want to confess. i want to say how i feel to her-' she sobbed internally, biting onto her lower lips to stop her eyes from tearing up in frustration. she doesn't know why she's holding back.
maybe it's because of the rejection that you'll give her? or maybe because of fear that you'll think of her as a weird person who likes women? but she only likes you!
noâ she loves you. she wants to tell you her feelings. she wants to say that she has never liked a woman but you, she wants to say that you are her first love, she wants to say everything to you.
but it was so difficult, the fear of getting rejected by you would feel so much worse than having a physical injury.
but minji was determined. she will confess. it has been a year ever since her feelings grew so much bigger than she had initially expected, and it was time to release her feelings to you.
she could only pray that you wouldn't hate her after..
âââââ
minji waited for the day to finish, eyes staring at the sun setting down, replacing with the awaiting white moon. it has been a long day, time consumed just making new different types of pots and bowls, all used for human resources.
although it was fun in most parts, it's tiring mentally and physically. constant thinking on how to detail out the creation, how to shape it perfectly, how to size it, how to make a function on it and others.
however, it's a good part. it's a good thing, really. minji has become more creative and more observant than she has ever wondered of herself. with countless ideas for the clay to be created into a new type of creation, it was certainly satisfying to make it just with your hands and mind.
minji doesn't regret taking this job.
footsteps caught her attention, making her turn to see you standing beside her by the window. with your hands on your side and your tired eyes staring at the beautiful moon, the light shines through the glass and makes your features even more beautiful.
finding herself staring at you like an idiot, she shakes her head to shake away the flustered redness on her face. then she hears a soft inhale next to her, causing her to look at you.
she blinks slowly, eyebrows subconsciously furrowing as she watches you. "is something wrong?" minji asks softly, her voice mixed with curiosity and concern. you were careful to turn to her, eyes meeting each other and it felt like the world was moving too slowly.
minji couldn't turn away from your glistening eyes.
"minji," you begin quietly, barely above a whisper but enough for the same aged girl to hear it clearly. the room was silent, except with the oven humming lowly with the pots warming inside the machine.
she hums in response, eyes turning solemn at the sight of the hidden emotion inside your beautiful eyes. what made you look so sad? she wanted to ask, but in fear of being turned away because she was stepping into your line, she stopped herself.
but what you said next stopped her whole world, eyes staring into her eyes and your voice only entering her ears.
"i like you," you mumble, a small melancholy smile forming on your face. your voice sounded so weak, small and vulnerable. you sounded so afraid, fearful yet longing at the same time. yearning for something.
"i like you, minji." you repeat softly, breathing slowly. "so much so, i could barely try to calm my heart from racing like a maniac." your soft smile quivered, the tone in your voice struck something in minji's chest.
your eyes were soft, and yet your voice held something different. full of warmth and coldâ the confidence and the fright. those words are things minji has been wanting to hear in a year, words that she has been longing to hear from you, from your lips.
and the moment she finally got it, tears fell onto her cheeks and her eyes never stopped looking into your eyes.
you didn't move, smiling at her like she was the only one in this world, the only person you have ever seen in your entire life. the feeling of your cold hand slowly and shyly intertwining with hers fluttered her heart and stomach with butterflies.
too much butterflies.
"...say something," her teary eyes widened slightly at the sight of your eyes wavering, the fear and nerves were so visible. it clenched her heart into something. her mouth moved, but she couldn't release any words nor sounds.
her lower lips twitched, teary eyes turning clouded before she pulls you into her arms and buries her face onto your neck, embracing you so tight and securelyâ almost as if she doesn't want anything to take you away from her.
a soft choke from you was enough for her to tighten her grip around you, heart thumping hard against her chest as you embraced her back. burying your face on her shoulder, hands clawing her back and bodies pressed together felt so whole.
the smell of the clay on you was so entrancing, she oddly felt so welcomed and accepted in a way she doesn't understand how a single weird smell was making her feel.
"...i like you too," minji muttered against your neck.
she could hear your heart beating the same rate as hers, rapid and loud. it sounds like you share and hold the same feelings as hers, the same emotions as hers. it felt so surreal.
"i like you a lotâ i... i love you, y/n." her words came out shaky, affection, fear, nerves and love in her voice was so loud to you. her arms around you tightened more, her face pressed up to your neck even more and she has you against the wall.
your heart thumped, the sight of feminine tall body hovering over yours. you felt small yet safe in her arms, warm like a home and warm blanket around you.
the world felt cold, but in her arms, it felt so warm.
you breathe softly, eyes closed as you take in her warm embrace and the feelings she was trying to express with her whole body and her words. the wall against your back felt rough, but her body was soft and fit with yours.
your hands clawed onto her back, nose against her hair and her scent was masking over you. it felt so good, it felt so overwhelming. it felt so safe.
"i love you, i love you." minji chants as she pressed her lips against your neck, hands gripping onto your shoulder and waist possessively yet securely. she wants you in her arms, only you.
you gently push her away, softly smiling at her crying face. you cup her cheeks, and brushes your lips with hers. "i love you too, minji," you mumbled back, eyes soft and half-lidded with an overwhelming love in your eyes.
her heart beats so loud in her ears. your eyes that were once so cold and indifferent had turned softer than a cloud, and truer than the truth. you're more than sincere, and that genuine was making her fall in love with you even more.
how could a lovely person like you ever exist?
where have you been all her life?
you pressed your lips on her lips, softly rubbing your thumbs against her wet cheeks as she melts onto your lovely lips. her ever-so-tight grip around you loosened, finally gripping you with gentleness and affection.
the soft movement of both your lips paces up, lips finding and craving for each other. minji, who felt more impatient than ever, sticks out her tongue and slid them between your lips.
your breath hitched before parting your lips, allowing her to slide her tongue in and explore the warmth. tongues dancing gracefully with each other, head tilting to each side, teeth softly clanking onto each other and bodies even more pressed with each other.
you and minji were just so into each other, the world had completely stopped spinning.
she pressed you against the wall more, chasing your lips greedily and melts into you like melted butter. you tasted so nice, good and wonderful. you smell so good, beautiful and enchanting.
everything about you captures her whole attention, and she would gladly kneel down onto your feet and worship you
those hands that were carving and shaping the clay so gently had turned needy and clawing onto her back, desperate to pull her closer and devour her mouth like a hungry maniac.
the soft moans you erupt sent down hot shivers down her spine, causing her to grow possessive and desperate to claim you as her own. but you're still youâ you who would share thousands of parts of you with her, you who would gladly give yourself to her.
for her to love you unconditionally, you would do that.
and unbeknownst to you, minji would do it more than that.
ââ ââ ê° end ê± ââ ââ
#newjeans#ëŽì§ì€#newjeans minji#kim minji#minji#kim minji x reader#kim minji x you#female reader#fluff
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pick a card 3 - something you need to hear right now.
Last day where the Sun is in Scorpio. First day where the Sun enters Sagittarius.
The month of November is always a tough month for everyone. This pick a card is aimed to give some guidance through these dark times. Scorpio energy can be sometimes overwhelmingly intense and gloomy, but it holds great power. Use this energy to die peacefully, and shed your old skin. Like a phoenix, we will all rise from our ashes.
Words of encouragement, healing messages and a tiny bit of reality checks are what this reading will bring you. Hope it resonates.
Pile 1Â
The World, 2 of Wands, Knight of Wands, Page of Swords, 10 of Swords (Rx), Queen of Pentacles (Rx?)
Top of the deck : 8 of Cups
Bottom of the deck : 2 of Swords
Life path 7 / Life path 11
âYou donât drown by falling in the water, you drown by staying there.â
âDo what makes you fucking happyâ
additional quote : âDo what makes your soul shine <3â
Right off the bat, there is a sense of urgency in walking away from something and making a firm decision. I think you have been in denial about something in your life, avoiding it by trying to live a ânormal lifeâ. Youâve been focusing on your day to day tasks as a distraction but something has been at the back of your mind for a while now. And when I say for a while, I mean at least two years, or one year. It is something that you have, overtime, subconsciously suppressed because at the time this thing, career, job, creative endeavor,.. was important to you, but you did not have (or thought you didnât have) enough knowledge and resources to take methodical practical steps towards it. I am picking up that this might have been something that happened slightly before or during the pandemic (2019/2020). The World fell out of the deck, and this card indicates the completion of a cycle, an ending. After it, the 2 of Wands fell, which indicates future planning, progress, decision and discovery. I feel like the message you need to hear is that now is the perfect time to start this project of yours, or at least plan the practical actions you need to take over the course of the next few months to accomplish it. Donât overthink over certain details and possible technical issues. There is a fire inside of you that you consistently turned off, thinking and hoping that the embers would eventually die out. The problem you are currently facing is that they never did. You might have an Aries North node. Being assertive and independent doesnât come easy to you. Starting projects and following your instincts without second guessing yourself is hard. You tried to manage your truest and deepest desires but I feel like this past year, the desire to let it all out, probably influenced by the Lunar nodes being in the sign of Aries and Libra, urging you to just go for it, intensified to the point of suffocation.Â
Your spirit guides are urging you to take this leap of faith, to walk confidently towards that goal like The Fool, without worrying if you run the risk of falling from a ravine in the process.
Theyâre telling you to start slow, to take a step by step approach while still keeping a strong mindset. You will come out victorious only if youâre able to keep pushing through the obstacles. What awaits you is a slow and steady marathon and growth. You can do it !
Oracle cards from the Green With Oracle pulled for you :Â
16 - Memory / Rosemary => Leo energy
âDeeper levels of connection with people, concepts and plans are all areas that Rosemary works with. You are reminded to ensure you are in touch with your inner wisdom, paying heed to the past, and have cleared what needs to be released. Listen to your intuition as it is calling to you at present, but be wary of gossip or becoming tactless or too forceful.â
5 - Grounding / Potato => Virgo energy
âExplore the deepest, innermost areas of yourself and situations, as potatoes indicate energies that are calling you to look again at what you may have once missed and will help to bring stability. If you are looking for an answer, try pulling back a little to let things settle on their own first. Challenges at the moment may include ignorance, self-centeredness and forgetfulness, so make sure you are compassionate and focused.
You are called to use all the knowledge you acquired overtime to finally take action. Youâre currently ending a cycle. You have enough wisdom to make a plan that will lead you closer and closer to tangible success. Trust your intuition and inner guidance. Donât make rash decisions, but be decisive.
Just realized these two cards have the same message in the guide book ! This is a crazy coincidence. I used it many times and never paid attention. I didnât even know two cards could have the same message. This is crazy lol. Let me share the quote with you :Â
 âWhen the world wearies and society fails to satisfy, there is always the gardenâ
Pile 2Â
2 of cups, 3 of Pentacles, Queen of Wands, Ace of Wands, The Star, 2 of Swords, Page of Pentacles 10 of Pentacles
âThe same light you see in others is shining within you too.â
(there are a lot of references to light, stars,shining,;. throughout the reading. Are you drawn to space ? or the galaxy ? Youâre probably a huge astrology, and/or astronomy nerd. You are probably also a huge dreamer. Maybe drawn to the idea of being a starseed. You might have strong aquarius placements, or a populated 11th house. Pluto finally going in Aquarius this week is going to grant you so much luck and recognition ! You are about to step into your power for the next 20 years. Like a rocket, you are about to fly towards the stars. Are you ready for the take off ? Â
âDonât let the ugliness of others kill the beauty in youâ
Something you need to hear is that you are about to be blessed by the universe ! Shooting Star by XG just started playing !
âBabe, if I give it my all, will it pay off?
Workin' overtime, no days off
All these shootin' stars in the dark (Yeah)
All these shootin' stars in the dark, make a wish (Yeah)
Takin' off from the ground, it's amazin'
So outta this world, I'm in space
Now I'm goin' up, headin' to the stars
Wouldn't trade it out for another life, no
Yeah, we ridin', ridin', ridin' on up (Woo)
So shinin', shinin', shinin' for sure
Ooh, ah, I'm lookin' so lavish (Shinin', shinin', yeah)
Ooh, ah, put in work like it's a habit (I'm lookin' so lavish)
It's a big move, every day's like a dream
Makin' big moves as I should 'cause I'm a queen (Ooh)
Ooh, ah, I'm lookin' so lavish
Ooh, ah, yeah, I bet you can't imagine (Oh yeah)â
You are shining on your way towards the stars. You are currently in your Queen of Wands and Ace of Wands energy, (Million Dollar Baby just started playing, youâre really sure of yourself and goal oriented right now).
You are bursting with confidence and assertiveness. You are determined towards your goals. You are in a âwork hard, play hardâ type of energy. If itâs not currently happening, you are about to have a huge burst of popularity on whatever youâre currently working on. Could be any project, a youtube channel, a business : there are a few people that are well respected in the industry you're aiming for that are eyeing you right now and that are about to offer you a contract/ a deal/ a collaboration. They have been probably on a hunt for someone like you for a while now and they were probably starting to lose hope until they came across your page/work/profile. They see you as a Star, youâre unique and like The Star in the tarot, you represent hope and faith to them/to their business/ association/school/company. They see your raw potential and they are going to help you refine it.Â
Right now, youâre probably more focused on your work/ career/ school and nurturing your friendships, going out. Youâre basically active in your social circles and this is benefiting you a lot !Â
An additional message you need to know is that youâre attracting a soulmate! Itâs not necessarily a romantic soulmate, could be a friendship, a mentor.. Whatever the nature of this relationship is, it is going to fill you up with even more joy and hope! Your spirit guides are so proud of you and of all the work you have been putting in lately. Even though it was hard, you stayed patient and worked diligently towards your goals and desired reality. You did a lot of shadow work, tried your best to let go of the limiting beliefs that were holding you back. The Universe wants to tell you they are about to reward you.
Oracle card from the Green With Oracle pulled for you :Â
40 - Positivity / Marigold : Leo energy (again you are shining and radiating confidence! Your solar plexus chakra and sacral chakra might be in overdrive currently! You are the main character in the play that is your life.)
 âA better understanding is indicated and a reason to be more optimistic about outcomes and the roads to get there. There are opportunities for nurturing encounters and a general aura of happiness pervades. Marigolds help us focus on the positive aspects of even the most difficult events. Your inner child may need to come out for a play, and be sure to take creative invitations. Be wary of not having all the facts and of emotional blockages.â
Pile 3
TW : this pile is a bit sad and angsty.
Before I pulled any cards for you, I already felt your energy overlapping in Pile 2âs reading. Your energy was really intense, deep and melancholic. Sad songs started playing, which completely contradicted pile 2âs energy (which was overwhelmingly positive). You are probably going through a really tough period right now and your soul is desperately crying for help, praying for a hand to come and save you. You have been having really painful realizations regarding your past, especially your childhood. Youâve recently realized that the child inside of you was buried alive. Youâve recently realized that you lost your essence. While growing up, you accommodated to the world around you, what people expected of you, what was ânormalâ, what was acceptable. By bowing down to other peopleâs expectations, you let your true self die slowly. Youâve been on autopilot for a while now, completely numb and empty. There is a bit of mirroring between this pile and pile 1 of suppressing one's authentic self and desires.Â
Right now, you feel that your heart has been almost rotting inside. You lost all of your passion and your spark of life. But, donât worry, what you need to hear now is that this painful realization is what is going to set you free. It is the first step towards a really deeply healing period where you are going to reconnect with your inner child. I heard : âThe truth will set you free, but first, it will piss you offâ. Did you read my last reading by any chance ? I am getting the energy that you chose pile 2 and 3, both or just one, or that you would resonate with those two piles for some reason. Donât hesitate to check it out, you might find some comforting messages I heard !Â
Now, let me pull some cards for you. I donât know why, but I felt drawn to use different decks than the ones I used for the first two piles. So, your pile will have different messages (no message from the Green Witch oracle for you)
 [took a little break before going to your pile. You probably need to slow down on your day to day tasks. I know itâs really hard in the productivity obsessed capitalist world we live in, and it is a huge privilege to be able to have enough time and energy to spiritually reconnect with ourselves, but this is what your spirit guides are urging you to do. Youâve got this.]
For you, I used the Occult Tarot and the Heavenly Bodies Astrology deck.
I only pulled 2 cards, one per deck (it was supposed to be like that but more cards sneaked in while shuffling haha) I feel like you need just a simple check up.
Cardinal - Instigation, Bravery and A pioneering spirit => your lost spark and childlike innocence will soon be reignited by a deep healing period. A new beginning is coming for you, but it will take some hibernating time before it comes.Â
Sagittarius - Optimism, Exploration and Freedom
Trine - Angelic Support, Harmony and Perfect Flow
Reconnect to your higher self and spiritual side. Disconnect from the direct, yet understandable, dissatisfaction you feel towards life. Your embers that were slowly dying will relive, just trust the process, enter the deepest parts of yourself and keep exploring with positivity : your angels will guide you. There is a team of spirit guides and angels that are proud of your progress. Even if you donât see it, they do and they want to tell you : There is light at the end of the tunnel, keep on walking.
The Hermit and the Ace of Swords :Â The truth about your past came out, now is the time to meditate on those realizations and integrate them. Alchemize the pain in wisdom. You are about to come out stronger than ever. Isolate yourself, or at least try to keep your peace and have a lot of alone time (without completely stopping socializing altogether, humans are social creatures: connecting with people is important for our wellbeing) to ponder, analyze, decrypt, all the patterns that youâve been repeating. Reconnect with your inner child, look at photos of yourself when you were younger, delve deep into your childhood and childhood wounds. Maybe try to find what your attachment style is, anything that stems from your childhood that has been making you stuck in a rut these past years. Maybe, if you can, try to heal the relationship you had with your parents/parent or primary caregiver. Try to understand the nature of you guysâ relationship to see how it affects your self worth now. You've got this, trust me.
here is a link to my ko-fi !
#pick a card#pick a card reading#pick a pile#pick a picture#divination#tarot#tarot reading#tarot cards
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I watched a playthrough of mouthwashing and wanted to write something, sorry if it's trash
warnings; Mentions of blood, death, etc. Canon events through the lens of the reader. jimmy. Mentions of Anya's situation, Unwanted touching
Summary; You are the effectively the homebrewed therapist of the Tulpar, you are the safe space of the ship. You experience the events of the game
On the Tulpar crew, you were considered a jack-of-all trades. You helped in any area the ship needed help in, but if your being totally honest thats not what your job entails to you.
Your job is being a safe space. Almost everyone on the ship has some type of issues during the night or problems they can only ruminate on when everyone else is asleep, and so you have decide to help on that front. Your room is the best on the ship, while it's walls and floors are the same as everyone elses room, your bed in the real star of the show. You've long since replaced the standard-issued Pony Express mattress with something softer from Earth, while some of the inspectors of the ship tried to make a stink about it you generally ignored them about it. Anothing thing about your bed is the blankets and pillows, so many of them on one twin sized bed. Originally you only had 3 blankets and 2 pillows when you started to make the bed more comfortable, but as some of the crew came in to sleep you started bringing more each time. Same thing with the pillows.
A year or two ago you started to comfort and therapize members of the crew the best you could but eventually that turned into them coming to your bed. Nothing ever happened mind you, just lying on the same bed, sometimes cuddling if the mental situation is bad enough. Anya, Daisuke, and Curly were the main crew members you helped, Swansea didn't feel comfortable being in your room so you mainly talked to him at 'night'.
The only person you were wary about was Jimmy.
Ever since you met him, he's become increasing strange to you. Something has felt off. But.. because you pride yourself on not judging anyone on the ship, you allowed him in your room for comfort. Even though it made you feel like your skin was going to be peeled off, like static was injected into your veins. It made your comforting and safe space feel decidedly not safe anymore for you. Any time he spent time within your room it made every single alarm in your head go off, making you wish you could lock the door only to keep HIM out. Especially when he decides he 'needs' cuddles, him touching you and nuzzling into your body makes you sick, it makes you feel like he's violating you. Sometimes he tries to get in when you're already helping someone else out and you revel in the fact you're able to reject him and KEEP HIM OUT. On the times he tries to get in and you're with Anya, you notice how she tenses up at his voice. She almost starts shivering (from fear? from terror? what did he do to her?) no matter how many blankets are piled onto her pale body.
She's the person who comes to you the most often and you have a feeling you know why. Even though she doesn't say anything, you're fairly sure Jimmy has hurt her in some fashiom, just from how her demeanor changes as soon as he enters a room and talks to her. She shrinks in on herself. (what did he dO TO HER?!)
Curly is almost as frequent as Anya but you can tell he probably shouldn't visit you. He's The Captain after all, he shouldn't need help and should feel the way he does. You feel bad for him most times, and while he may be friends with the monsterJimmy, him being in your room doesn't make you uncomfortable. He confides in you about his troubles and how he doesn't know what to do next, he doesn't want to be what he is forever. You understand him, maybe not at the level he feels it but you get it. You don't want to be stuck as a space therapist the rest of your life, you want to be a notable creative, or something. You're still working that dream out.
~~
It's a few months into the shipment, and Curly just dropped the news that Pony Express was going under and while all 5 of your were going to be let go from the company with no additional help, Curly would be able to get opportunities. You don't resent him honestly, knowing what he's thinking about after most days, you're just. contemplative. While yes job hunting is going to be a bit of bitch, you have savings and a good fall back if all else fails. You also understand the feelings of everyone else, their sadness, anger, confusion.
While you're cleaning a hallway waiting for someone to need you for something else you see Jimmy rush past you. He seems... startled and angry, from what you tell of a brief glance at his side profile. You shrug and go back to cleaning, you don't care about Jimmy anymore frankly. Curly comes up behind you and asks about him and you point him towards the cockpit. He leaves and you once again get back to work... Until the ship starts shaking and you hear yelling from down the hall. Before you can really process anything the whole ship jerks and you're thrown to the floor.
~~
The ship crashed. Foam covers all areas of the ship, your room was one of the lucky few that was spared from the crash. Other's weren't so lucky.
Curly is covered head to.. knee in bandages, only one eye still intact. You don't quite like going into the medical room anymore. It smells of burning and rotting flesh, mixed with the chalky smell of painkillers. But you visit at night and simply sit there with Curly, offering him a blanket. He never wants it, you assume it's because of how his 'skin' is still exposed even with the bandages and it could cause worse pain if it got stuck to it. Some nights he tries to talk, others he doesn't.
Daisuke and Anya are now the most frequent visitors of your room. They both cry, Anya more so. You don't know what to do now, you're almost.. numb to it all. Jimmy still comes by but you're grateful for Daisuke and Anya needing you, it keeps him away. But on nights no one comes by, HE does. Somehow it's gotten worse, he cuddles far too close for your liking and mumbles things into your collarbones you can't make them out but his mouth on your skin makes you want to cry. It makes everything so. much. worse.
~~
It's been months since the ship crashed and you don't leave your room anymore. You just. Can't. Everything is too much and not enough. You hope you die in your sleep.
~~
You hear commotion outside, it sounds like Daisuke and Jimmy. You slowly peel yourself off the bed, and take off the 6 blankets. Uncovered feet touch the metal flooring, you don't flinch. You stand up on shaky legs and make your way to the hallway. They're running towards Utility so you make your way over to the living room, to see whats happened since you stashed yourself away. The tv is shattered and it seems like everyone made their beds out here, mouthwash litters the floor. You turn to medical and hope to see Anya.
....
The door is locked. You give a soft knock.
"Anya..? are you-" you quickly cough, not used to talking anymore "are you okay?"
You receive silence.
"... Yeah, I'm sorry that was a stupid question. You're not okay, you haven't been for months, especially with... him here and yelling at you nearly every day." You rest your forehead on the door,
Silence.
"I'm sorry Anya."
~~
Daisuke is dead. Jimmy tried getting him into the damaged vent and it impalied the poor kid. You almost cry, you know so much about him, his hopes and dreams. But you decide to stay quiet and observe, Jimmy isn't aware you've finally left your room. Swansea looks downright murderous, after mercy killing Daisuke by cutting right into his head with the fire axe, he stares at Jimmy in a way you once wished you could. If looks could kill.
Swansea gets up and chases after him.
You hope he gets the monster.
~~
Swansea is dead too. Jimmy somehow got a gun and killed him. You watch from the shadows as he sets up the dead bodies of people you knew so, so well. A mockery of a party you were so excited for so long ago.
He brings out Curly and sets him on the table, he grabs the knife and cuts into Curly's thigh as if it's cake. You want to vomit. You want to cry. You want to do so many things but. You simple stand there.
You want to kill Jimmy. He's killed your friends, so you want to avenge them. None of them deserved this, none of them.
You go look for that axe.
~~
You found it in utility, it has weight but you can carry it well enough to take the swing at the man that's made this into hell itself. You hear footsteps coming towards the room so you make your way behind some foam. You wait.
And wait.
and wait.
You take action and run right towards Jimmy as he's about to kill himself.
He deserves pain, he doesn't deserve the easy way out.
You swing right into his arm holding the gun and it comes clean off.
Blood comes out from it in waves.
He needs to take responsibility.
You swing once more at his other arm, another clean cut.
needs to take responsibility.
Another swing.
tAKE RESPONSIBILITY.
One last swing.
RESPONSIBILITY.
he's not dead, but he looks just. like. curly.
you pick him up, his blood gushing onto you and place him in another cyropod.
he was have to face his actions, whenever that may be.
whenever someone finds him and curly.
~~
you walk to your room, one last time.
blood trailing behind you as you slowly walk.
your time is up and you'll get to end it the way you wanted to.
in bed.
you pull all your blankets onto yourself and close your eyes,
one.
last.
time.
#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#anya mouthwashing#curly mouthwashing#jimmy mouthwashing#daisuke mouthwashing#swansea mouthwashing#mouthwashing fanfic#mouthwashing x reader#reader insert#random
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á°á© Mama To Be á°á©
Plot: While expecting their first daughter, Gianna (OC) and her boyfriend Josh are going through all the emotions. Specifically Josh, whoâs a nervous wreck and trying to protect his girls 24/7.
Warning: Hefty flirting & mature language!
My eyes flutter open as I wake up to an uncomfortable feeling in my lower stomach.
I look down and see my belly button area slightly moving, signaling that baby girl is awake and kicking.
I look over at the clock on my nightstand - 3:04am.
Motherhood is not for the weak!
I shake my head and smile softly, gently rubbing my belly.
I lay back on my pillows and look over to my left, my eyes met with my favorite sight: my beautiful man peacefully sleeping, his muscular and tattooed chest rising and falling, alongside light snores pouring from his parted lips.
It brings me so much joy to see him at peace, especially since he's gone through hell and back for this baby already.
Josh has been a very protective father so far.
He feels the need to be by my side 24/7, helping me with everything.
Even if it means staying up all night, he wants both me and our baby to be protected at all times.
I gently kiss his lower lip and lay back down, deciding to scroll on my phone for a bit.
About 15 minutes later, my stomach starts to rumble.
Not me being hungry at 4am! đ„Č
I gently wiggle out of his arms, doing my very best not to wake him.
If he finds out that I'm leaving the room - or even the bed - without him, he'll throw a fit.
I swing my legs off the bed, step into my slippers, and quietly shuffle out of the room to the kitchen.
After a little while of seeing what we have, I settle for my current favorite craving: ice cream.
I take out one of the many containers of "Half Baked" from Ben & Jerry's that Josh got me yesterday, grab a spoon, take a seat on the counter, and dig in.
The flavor of the cookie dough and brownies mixed with the vanilla ice cream satisfy me immediately.
** Josh's POV **
Half asleep, I roll over to cuddle my lady some more.
When I feel an empty space and only bed sheets, I sit up immediately.
Where the hell is my girl?
"Baby?" I call, hoping she's just in the bathroom and that I'm overreacting.
When I get no response, panic starts to set in.
What if she's hurt?
What if she fell?
What if something happened to our baby?
Fuck!
I quickly hop out of bed and search all over the room.
From the closet, to the bathroom, to even under the bed - she's nowhere to be found.
I throw on some sweatpants and a hoodie, and race downstairs to grab my keys from the key hook near the front door.
I need to find my lady. And fast.
Just when I'm about to unlock the front door, I hear a familiar voice call from the kitchen.
"Baby?" Gianna calls from, what sounds like, the kitchen.
I instantly spin around and, when I see her, I fall to my knees in relief.
"Gianna," I say breathlessly. "Thank God."
She walks over to me and places a comforting hand on my back. "Baby what's wrong? Where are you going?"
I look up at her. "I couldn't find you and I panicked. Babe, it's 3:30 in the morning. Whatchu even doing up at this time?"
She takes a deep breath before responding. "I had a craving. And I didn't wanna wake you after all the stress you've been under lately."
She rubs her belly when saying that last part.
I hang my head, still trying to watch my breath, before standing up.
"Baby," I say, looking down at her and cupping her face. "I don't give a fuck if I'm up for two days straight and finally getting some rest. You need to tell me when you plan on going anywhere. So I can be with you."
She bites her lip and looks me in the eyes before responding. "Joshua, I'm pregnant. Not crippled."
"What?" I ask, tilting my head.
Where is this coming from?
Since when is me looking out for her an issue?
"Ever since I showed you that the test came back positive," she begins, tears starting to form in her eyes. "You've been super overprotective. And don't get me wrong, I love you for caring about me. For caring about our baby. And I know it's gonna pay off when he or she comes. But I need some freedom before I explode."
** Gianna's POV **
After finally telling Josh how I've been feeling, he just sits there with an unreadable expression on his face.
Is he mad?
Is he offended?
Fuck!
Why would I do this?
How could I do this?
After a long silence, I finally decide to speak up again and break it. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that."
As tears begin to roll down my face, I look down.
I hear Josh take a deep breath before gently lifting my face up by my chin.
"You don't need to be sorry," he reassures under his breath. "Because you're right."
My face goes from regretful to confused. "I am?"
"You are,â he replies with a soft smile on his face, stroking my cheek with this thumb.
"I've been so overprotective about you and our baby," he continues, reaching out and stroking my side. "That I didn't even take a second to think about how it might overwhelm you."
I bite my lower lip gently, not responding.
"The truth is," he speaks up again. "I'm scared to death. I'm scared to be a father for the first time. I'm gonna be responsible for a human being for the rest of my life. For the rest of our lives. And I've been one big ass worrywart. I'm sorry, baby."
He sniffles and lowers his head, wiping his tears away with his sleeve.
I just sit there watching, allowing the comfortable silence to roll on, not knowing what to say.
Itâs not because I donât wanna comfort him, but because heâs never opened up about the baby like this.
Itâs almost comforting in a way, to know that he cares this deeply.
Of course I knew he does, but to hear him finally be vocal about his feelings, it means so much to me.
"I'm scared too," I finally reply, my voice just over a whisper, fiddling with my fingers.
He lifts his head again and allows our eyes to meet once more. âReally?"
I nod, giving him a soft smile. "Terrified. But I know that once baby is here, we're gonna rock parenthood. And we're gonna rock it together."
He smiles back and gently kisses my forehead before pressing ours together. "I love you so much."
"I love you too," I reply, wrapping him into a hug. "You're gonna be the best daddy."
He immediately hugs back, kissing my shoulder and rubbing my back.
Once we pull away, he cups my face and we share a deep and passionate kiss.
"Half baked?" he asks, licking his lips once we pull away.
"Only the best flavor," I respond, folding my arms and smirking.
He gives me a mean mug. "Girl, hell nah. Cherry Garcia is where it's at."
"I guess we all can't have good taste," I tease before rolling my eyes playfully.
"Girl bring yo ass-" he squeezes my cheeks and pulls me in by my face for another kiss.
I giggle against his lips and, hand in hand, we make our way back upstairs to the bedroom.
He helps me back into bed and hops in himself afterwards.
Once we get comfortable, he lays on his stomach and rubs my belly.
"Daddy can't wait to meet you," he coos, feathering light kisses onto it. "And he loves you so much."
I lean my head back on the pillow and smile softly, playing with his hair.
I can't wait to watch him experience fatherhood - he's gonna be the best dad in the world.
Liked by uceyjucey, jonathanfatu, trinity_fatu, rikishi, and 91.3k others
giannamacri âłđ€
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uceyjucey Proud of you baby đ«¶đœ
jonathanfatu Can't wait â€ïž
trinity_fatu SO EXCITEDDD đ„čđđ
Liked by giannamacri, jonathanfatu, wwe, romanreigns, and 176.5k others
uceyjucey Strongest woman I know đ€
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giannamacri best daddy in the world đ đ„čđ«¶đœ
jonathanfatu Love yall â€ïž
wwe So happy for you two! đ„°
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Where are all those liberals with the Doomsday Clock and anti war sentiment. If 911 taught us nothing else it taught us that ANYTHING can happen. Heaven help us all.
Russia has allegedly launched an Intercontinental Ballistic Missile (ICBM) at a Ukrainian city for the first time, an expensive but potentially potent reminder by the Kremlin that it has a large reserve of nuclear-capable weapons which can strike form thousands of miles away.
The central-Ukrainian city of Dnipro was struck by a single ICBM missile in the early hours of Thursday morning Ukraine claims, part of a broader air raid that state media said also saw one air-launched ballistic missile and seven air-launched cruise missiles fired at the city. The Ukrainian government has not made an official statement on casualties in the âmassive attackâ but said they managed to shoot down six of the cruise missiles in-flight.
The launch of an ICBM is claimed by Ukraineâs air force to have come from the Astrakhan Oblast, which borders the Caspian Sea. The launch has not been corroborated by Western states observing the conflict, the United Kingdom has called it unconfirmed, for instance. Russia has yet to confirm or deny an conventional explosive armed but nuclear-capable ICBM launch, apparently the latest sabre-rattling move by the state as it bids to discourage further Western involvement in Ukraine.
While claiming there was âno significant damageâ caused, nevertheless Ukraine also stated a city medical facility and an industrial area were hit. Sergiy Lysak, the head of the regional administration said in a statement that: âSince early morning, the aggressor has massively attacked the region. Information about the consequences is being clarified. At the moment, it is known about damage to an industrial enterprise in Dnipro. There were also two fires in the city.â
Ukraine called the attack an attempt to damage the cityâs âcritical infrastructureâ . Meanwhile, just 70 miles away a power interconnector for the Zaporizhzhia Nuclear Power Plant was cut in an air strike. This left the plant with just one backup power supply.
A loss of external power can be catastrophic for a nuclear plant because the control systems that govern the reaction process â and which can crash-stop it in an emergency â cannot safely rely on the power the plant itself produces and need redundancy. The Zaporizhzhia plant has been occupied by Russian forces for several years and is presently run by Russian nuclear company Rosatom, one of the few Russian businesses that has been untouched by Western sanctions as Russia is a massive global player in the supply of Uranium, needed by nuclear power plants everywhere.
ussia has stated that it considers precision attacks against military or political targets inside the Russian Federation an act of war by the states providing the weapons, even if they are launched by a third party. How far Russia is willing to take this nuclear sabre-rattling is unclear: at several points through this conflict the Kremlin has expressed its displeasure at Western nations involving themselves in what it clearly considers a private war but never followed through with threats on issues like the supply of tanks, earlier missiles, and jet fighters.
Yet long-range missile strikes inside Russia may be taken a lot more seriously inside the Kremlin. Talks about the policy of whether to give Ukraine permission to engage in such attacks against their invader have gone back months, and key moments have been met with Russian reminders that they ultimately hold a trump card against attempts to bring down the Putin state.
When Zelensky was in Washington in September to ask for long-range strikes, Russia appeared to respond by saying it was reviving its nuclear doctrine to create a state of co-responsibility for attacks by American-backed states. In October Russia issued what very much looked like a reminder of what it holds in reserve and had never yet deployed in anger, a considerable armoury of Intercontinental Ballistic Missiles, conducting continent-spanning test-firings.
A land-launch of a Yars ICBM from Plesetsk to Archangesk (pictured, top) demonstrated a range of 3,500 miles, with Russia publishing quantities of footage showing the launch of several nuclear-capable missiles. The Yars is Russiaâs newest ICBM, part of the development of their first such new weapon since the end of the Cold War, with the 3,500 mile flight only around half of its claimed maximum range, designed to strike deep into the United States if required.
Then earlier this week, as the U.S. was stated to have signed off on strikes on the Russian interior with American-made missiles in Ukrainian hands, Vladimir Putin signed off on that new nuclear doctrine, a further message to the West.
While todayâs alleged launch and strike serves a warfare rather than training purpose, the use of an ICBM to deliver a conventional warhead rather than a considerably cheaper and less sophisticated tactical ballistic or cruise missile is a pointed further message from Russia to the West.
Poland, one of the European states closest to the fighting and perhaps taking the most alarmist state about Russian territorial ambitions â it is practically a matter of faith in Polish defence circles that Moscow has designs on Poland, should it succeed in Ukraine â appears to have reacted to the Thursday morning launch, scrambling fighters and and land-based defence systems.
A statement from the Polish Air Force, which operates F-16 jets, said Thursday: âAttention, due to another attack by the Russian Federation, which is carrying out strikes on objects located, among others, in western Ukraine, Polish and allied aircraft have begun operating in our airspace⊠the Operational Commander of the RSZ activated all available forces and resources at his disposal, the on-duty fighter pairs were scrambled, and the ground-based air defence and radar reconnaissance systems reached the highest state of readiness.â
How ironic it would be for America to be destroyed fighting for some 3rd World Shidt Hole that up until 10 minutes ago was famous only for its lack of real democracy and corruption.
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Season 3, Episode 3, Part 2
Adrenaline rushed through Britney as she attempted to rip the arrow-staff away from her overall straps, only to result in her tearing it. Though things have wind down, survival kicks in as she flips herself over, dragging her shoes through the damp dirt as she pushes up with a messy upright position as she began running, running.
If there was one thing track has taught her, was how to be efficiently fast.Â
Away with her backpack of rare comics of her fatherâs collection, the rifle, the ammo, the expired Rocky-Road candy barsâ She needed to run. â Britney couldnât stop, even if her lungs and legs were begging her to. Her thoughts slowly cleared up as the bushes became less and less as she spotted her grandparents' farmhouse in the distance.
Just as Mrs. Patel finished up grabbing the chicken eggs, she stopped in her tracks as huffing and puffing filled her vicinity. Turning, she quickly rushed over to Britney.
Slowing her run, she collapse into the grass to catch her breath. âBritney!â Mrs. Patel slid to her side, âBritney, what happened!?â --- âI think thereâs more cryptic's out there, PopsâŠâ Britney slumped on their couch, chugging her third glass of water as she sat in tattered clothes. Mrs. Patel placed cold towels on her limbs to help cool her down.
Besides them, Mr. Patel flipped through his battered journal. âSugarcube, it doesnât make senseâŠâ Drawn photos of what heâs seen, flipping through depictions of Bigfoot, Mothman, the Loch Ness Monster. Other than the Loveland Frog, there was no turtle he was familiar with. âI told you to go hunt!â A hand slams down on the coffee table, startling the two. âSweetheart, I know what I did wasnât right butââ âNo, YOU butâ!â âSTOP IT!â
The Patels snap back to Britney as she shouted, standing. âIâve seen things like this before. AndâŠâ Reminiscing back to New York. The falling stars. The mansion. â...SomehowâŠâ Dad. âI think I know where the turtle came from.â --- * When Donnie is looking up what might have happened with Mikey, he pulls up an article showing three depictions of the frogs. One of the depictions is what Mr. Patel turned in and reported. * During Napoleon's introduces Mikey to the frog tribe, thereâs a moment where Genghis slyly states how thereâs, âMore of them than he anticipatedâŠâ --- âGuys, come here!â The Hamatos rushed towards Aprilâs voice. âLook!â She pointed to the large, muddy footprints. âIt has to be MikeyâŠâ âObviously, Red.â Casey annoyedly stated as Donnie smacked his arm.
Receiving an eye roll, they followed the tracks, eyes scanning the woods and watched as the steps transformed into a messy pile of dirt. Stopping, the five split off into different corners of the wooden area. âWhatâŠhappened?â
As they began scouring the scene, April took notice of another set of estranged, petite shoe prints.
âHey guys, check it!â
âWHOA!â
âCASEY!â
The turtles ducked as Casey whiped around with a rifle, pointing it directly at whoever was in its way. Raph came from behind him, snatching the gun from Casey hands to keep it downwards. âAre you crazy!!â Met with nervous laughter, Casey lifts his hands as a semi-defense, backing away from his pissed-off best friend.
âWait,â Leo crutch forward towards Raph, examining the rifle. âWhatâs a gun doing all the way out here?â
Continuing her search, April peered behind a bush, finding a yellowed backpack. Raising a brow, she grabs the bag and shuffled through its contents. Ammo, comics, candy, and aâŠcrumpled piece of math homework?
Taking a closer look, April scanned the red markings of error to find the nameâ
Britney. Patel. Stockman.Â
Gasping, she folded the piece of homework, proclaiming, âI think something bad happened hereâŠâÂ
âWhat is it, April?â Leo moved forward, watching as April handed the backpack towards him. Instead of being met with worry, she was met with Leoâs excited gasp, reaching into the backpack and pulling out, âSpace Heroes issue #46 in mint condition! April, do you know how rareâ!â
Glares.Â
âRight, right, not important.â Leo cautiously put the comic back in the bag, before grabbing it and stating, âBut I am taking this.âÂ
They all groaned before Donnie started making connections.
Eyeing the rifle and backpack, he bent back down to feel how fresh the dirt felt between his fingers. âGuysâŠdo you think Mikey gotââ
âNo.â April interrupted.Â
Back turned towards her friends, she walked further into the woods, following the continued shoe prints rushing from their crime scene. In a last ditch effort, she shoved the homework into her pocket before returning to the Hamatos.Â
semi timeline uhh season 1 and 2 for britney and angela
Season 1 "I Think His Name is Baxter Stockman" Angela and Britney are introduced within' Baxter's morning routine. Baxter is shown getting ready for work, saying goodbye to his partner, dropping his daughter off at school, before proceeding to his workplace. Baxter returns home and let's Angela know of his termination. It leads to a mini argument, resulting in Baxter storming away from his apartment to his storage lab. Later in the episode, Britney and Angie are eating dinner while questioning when Baxter would be home. Angela turns on the TV, unexpectantly witnessing Baxter destroying his workplace in pure shock.
"Mousers Attack!" Baxter has started using his MOUSERS to steal local loot, trade with juveniles, and create a mini ring of his own without using his face. Baxter, through the power of high-power attorneys (thanks to Angela,) was able to remain in parole and escape jail time. Baxter hangs out with his family, taking them out to a dinner at a local diner with his sudden, financial increase. He makes false promises that he's handling the damages he's caused, and making a lie that his "new job" is calling him to come on out for a important technical report. He leaves as the two finish dinner and expect to see him the next day.
"It Came From the Depths" There's a off scene where Angela is sent a lawsuit letter, expecting payment from TCRI for Baxter's property damages. Angela looks tired from working overtime to pay off the attorneys, and Britney is coming home wanting her mom's and dad's attention and care, but watches as her mom attends to something else and looking around for her absent dad.
"The Pulverizer" During moments of isolation, Baxter takes calls from Angela. He lies that he's on a separate business trip with this "technological company," stating that he's gonna be gone for a week or two. When Britney takes over on the phone, she immediately suspect that he's lying, but doesn't push further on the issue as she brags about her track meet third place spot to her dad. Soon, the phone call is cut short, leaving the two to wonder about Baxter's position.
"Baxter's Gambit" The two aren't visually seen, but during one of Baxter's "doom" speeches to the turtles and henchmen, he gets a phone call suddenly. He pulls his phone out too fast that bounces between his hands, accidentally pressing the answering button and the words, "Hi daddy!" is heard over the speakers before being cut short. His captures are left confused before being thrown towards another trap, leaving them to question it later.
"Showdown Part 1/2" Both Angela and Britney have a mini moment of being trapped in the pods, before they're shown being freed from them post-Kraang takeover.
Season 2 "The Mutation Situation" Britney opens her window due to the falling, bright blue "rain," before introduced to a canister of mutagen. She takes it in, putting it on her nightstand as a sort of lava lamp. During the rainfall, she watches as mysterious figures and flying saucers fly over her apartment, in which she tries to ignore and hide away.
"Mutagen Man Unleased" Britney and Angela are shown within the backgrounds, noticing the turtles existence for the first time.
"Mikey Gets Shellance" Britney makes her last call to Baxter, talking about her recent track race place. and her recent grades. It was cut short, making Angela more suspicious of Baxter's duties.
"Target: April O'Neil" Angela, at this point, has hired a private investigator to continue searching within' Baxter's disappearance. (Side note: this investigator is Agent Bishop, who's trying to understand Baxter's connection to TCRI, and took the job to see if it would further benefit his investigation within' the Kraang.) Instead, Bishop reports back that Baxter's "job" and absence was mostly a lie, and was also left at a dead-end by the last time his family communicated with him. In-between what's going on, Britney breaks into Baxter's storage room lab. Using whatever is left behind, Britney boots up whatever mousers are left.
"The Kraang Conspiracy" Angela is given a short appearance. She's getting multiple calls from loan companies to pay off the damages that Baxter caused to TCRI. Angela enters her apartment, stressed as she's coming off her second job and negotiating with the people on the phone. Once she's off the phone, she turns and face a pissed off and tired Britney on the couch. Britney tries to talk to her mom, but is brushed off as Angela is focus on other things, before she throws a first place medal on the table. The two are left in silence before Britney stomps away into her bedroom. (btw want to mention that this is a child who wants her dad back and is looking for her mom for that same emotional support, and Angela is trying to make sure that Britney gets everything she needs even if it means sacrificing time with her daughter. neither are at fault, just a very tough situation.)
"Fungus Humungous" A reference back to "The Mutation Situation." During Mikey's nightmares from the fungus, he has a flashback of making eye contact with Britney. The memory continues as the raining mutagen canisters finish, witnessing her climb out and take one in as a lava lamp, before being ambushed by squirrelanoids. It's less of a actual presence in their lives and more of Mikey realizing they've been seen.
"The Manhattan Project: Part 1" The two aren't shown, only mentioned. Baxter makes a offhand comment about having "no one" and continues to ignore phone calls from them. He does this for their protection.
"The Lonely Mutagen of Baxter Stockman" Angela, after Bishop left her at a dead end, tries to continue to add to her "conspiracy board" of Baxter's disappearance. She looks tired and stressed, juggling between jobs, payments, and figuring out what's going on. When Angela is gone, Britney sneaks into Angie's room and pulls out her own evidence from Baxter's storage lab-- his criminal involvements. Soon, she makes the connection that Baxter is connected to working for an abandoned church. From there, Britney makes a plan to seek it out.
"The Wrath of Tiger Claw" Britney has a B plot of trying to break into the Foot Clan's hideout. Britney makes the conclusion quickly that it's protected to an extent by masked folks. After using Baxter's leftover mousers, tricks of being a girl scout selling cookies, to just spraying them with the same chemical Baxter used, she was able to temporarily break in. She was able to see more masked people, before noticing mutants walking around. Before being noticed, she's gone from the building. The henchmen do notice that a child has broken in, and is talked about among themselves, assuming it's the turtles or their companions.
Inbetween "Plan 10" and "Vengeance is Mine" @dongpound so sorry to tag you, I just want to make sure people know who your OC is ;o; Alec, who's aware of Britney's continuous involvement for a long time in figuring out the Footclan, finds out that she's trying to find their father. Alec does try to dissuade this child from continuing her search, but is met with a unrelentless determination to see what's going on with her father. To help protect this child, and prevent the others from going after them, they make the unwanted choice to reveal their father's fate to them. Alec turns around and realize she's gone. The episode ends with Britney running away from him, faster and faster before falling, getting back up, and rushing towards her home. Britney breaks down and not wanting to accept who her father is.
"The Invasion: Part 1 and 2" When the invasion starts, Angela rushes Britney out of New York. The two meet a halfway point to Angela's parents. Britney is handed off to her grandparents, but before any of them could convince Angela to join them, she's heading back to New York, convince she could find Baxter. Angela gets mutated.
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#dealing with papulopustular rosacea for the past few months#just on my nose of all places bc why not#and i'm now at the point where im minimally washing my face to clear it up#with the hopes of reintroducing face products in a few weeks bc everything seems to be a trigger#i can't tell you how frustrating it's been to get the rest of my face/rosacea in a good place#and then this happens and it's the only area of issue#and it's not just redness it's like open wounds but tiny and me having to use makeup to cover up anyway#bc being rudolph is not actually fun and i've had ppl ask and that's embarrassing af#there's only two moisturizers right now that dont seem to upset it#the problem is one im pretty sure was recently discontinued#and the other one seems fine but it's not as moisturizing as i need for my dry skin x.x#welcome to skincare hell jfc
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finally giving fem danyal her own au and fulfilling my 'danny is an animal whisperer' agenda at the same time: mother of monsters danyal 2.0
i say "2.0" because TECHNICALLY 'mother of monsters danyal' is an au I made back in June for Dark fem!Danyal (who I promptly named Layal). However, I haven't posted much for her yet, and I like the "mother of monsters" premise too much to leave it only to Layal. Plus Danyal in that au was going to become the mother of monsters anyway, just with significantly less world domination and mass extinction.
'Animal whisperer' Danny has been something I've been thinking about since my latest DP 'wolfpack au' post and it's! So fun to think about, and who no better to assign the idea to than Danyal Al Ghul? Who comes from a family infamously known for their love of animals and nature?
Fem Danyal is just purely self-indulgent. *gestures wildly at her* i just lomvb,,, her,,,, I've only really mentioned her in context of the 'Things in Threes' au/my first Danyal al Ghul au with the facial scar, but she's!!! I love her. She deserves her own au <33
So kill three birds with one stone! Make a post about it.
Anyways, Danny has a large lair. Similar to cult leader danyal, her lair is a giant mountain region resembling nanda parbat with a big temple/palace-like area built into the mountain. It's large, it's overflowing with natural flora, with its own mini-floating islands hovering over some areas, and it's also completely empty.
Danny takes one look at her lair upon first meeting, -- noting that it looked relatively smaller from the outside -- and promptly, with the elegance of an Al Ghul, goes "What the hell??" Because yes, while she does enjoy her own solitude and privacy, this is a bit ridiculous.
For heaven's sake, there's even a massive lake in there! What's she going to do with all this space? Can she make it any smaller? Why is it so big in the first place? This looks borderline like one of the mega-islands!
She finds out later that apparently, the amount of ectoplasm a ghost has can have an effect on the size of their lair. And since she has such a large core, her lair reflects that. Wibbly-wobbly timey-wimey stuff, it's bigger on the inside so it doesn't take up "too much space" on the outside. Don't worry about it too much.
Danyal isn't totally opposed to having such a large lair, she's just... a bit baffled by it. It feels like so much wasted space is all. All this flora and no fauna to enjoy it with. It's practically eerie.
She decorates her temple-palace area, transforming rooms to match her needs as she sees fit. In the center of the inner gardens is a massive tree that she likes to climb, with twisting, winding branches. Sam and Tucker have honorary rooms, even if they can't safely leave the specter speeder for long periods of time, even with proper safety equipment. So does Jazz. Ali (Dani) has one too, but he can actually use that one, and Danny brought him to her lair so he could decorate it himself.
She has a personal garden, but for the most part she lets the flora exist as it is. Too much space to cultivate it en masse anyways.
Skip to a few weeks later, on her next visit to Clockwork. She developed a habit of going to see him semi-regularly just because. She enjoys his wisdom, and he has a lot of stories to tell, and when he's not being the cryptic and esoteric timekeeper, he's a bit goofy.
(pushing my dadwork agenda here,,, i think Danny deserves to go 'hey, Lord Clockwork, do you want me to buy you something' while she's at walmart, only to receive a singular glowing sticky note that says 'cucumber gatorade'.)
(She insists on referring to him with his proper titles even for the most mundane of things because it's proper, but Clockwork sees a future where she eventually calls him "Cee" and by all things in existence is he determined to get there. Anyways,,,)
On her next visit to Clockwork, just as she is about to leave, Clockwork stops her and goes; "Ah, I have something for you. Hold out your hands."
Danny does as such, and Clockwork doesn't give out things often, so her curiosity has spiked to the highest levels. He turns away from her for a moment, using his staff to summon whatever it is he needs, and when he turns around.
He drops a fish into her hands. Granted, a fish in a small glass tank. But a fish nonetheless. A small one, roughly about the size of her finger, with a blue-black, eel-shaped body and four sets of glowing eyes. She can see thin, almost translucent, but spiny fins down its back and the start of bioluminescent markings. It's swimming around in circles in its small container.
"Lord Clockwork." Danyal says all too calmly.
"Yes, Danyal?"
"What is this?"
"That is an adolescent leviathan, Danyal." Sheâs transfixed onto the tank, but she doesnât need to see Clockworkâs face to hear the smile heâs stifling.
The myriad of emotions that runs through her all at once threatens to overwhelm her, and she canât tell if the feelings are negative or positive. So she carefully closes her eyes to breathe in through her nose.
âClockwork.â
âAh, I see youâve dropped formalities.â
She ignores that.
âWhy have you given me an adolescent leviathan?â
She's expecting the trickster to look amused when she opens her eyes. Instead, he just looks endeared. "I know you're fond of animals," he says, "and you always look amazed when you come across an animal of the realms. So I thought you might enjoy taking care of the young beast, it's mother is dead so it has no one to care for it."
Oh.
"But, if you don't like it," Clockwork's hands reach out for the tank, "I can simply take it back--"
Danyal shifts the tank out from his reach and hugs it possessively. "I never said that. How do I care for it?"
And so clockwork gives her a list, and when Danyal returns to her lair, she sets up a large tank in her room for the leviathan to swim in -- it's much too small for the lake right now, she thinks. She'll feel better if it's somewhere she can find it. She names him SuhÄ.
SuhÄ grows quickly, and by the end of the mortal month she transforms one of the rooms into a large pond for him to swim around in. He's a very loyal beast, recognizing her as it's mother of some kind. Danyal takes great care ensuring that her beastie gets quality care, and SuhÄ swims to the surface to see her when he senses her in the room.
It spirals from there. Somehow, Pandora catches wind that Clockwork gave her a leviathan, and so the next time Danyal visits the Greater Athens, she gives her a baby chimera. It's eyes are still sealed shut, Danyal can't bring herself to say no. She names the little beastie Firas.
Frostbite hears about it too, and not to be outdone, gives her an animal she's never even heard of. Infinite-realms born, apparently. A fox-like creature with two small horns like an impala, four eyes, and tall legs. The name isn't something she's quite sure how to write down, and she's positive that her friends won't be able to comprehend it. She names her Eira.
Getting the three of them used to each other was... interesting. SuhÄ tried to eat Firas when Danyal first introduced the two, and they've hated each other ever since. Firas and Eira are seemingly getting along. Her island already feels full enough with the three of them on it.
Of course, that's not the end of it. With her luck, she begins stumbling across other monsters. Realms-borne or otherwise. An injured hydra in the Grecian islands that, through lots of trial and error, Danyal is able to rehabilitate and heal. It routinely comes to visit her afterwards.
A griffin with a broken wing that she moves permanently to the island that likes to keep to itself, but tends to come down when she's near. It gets along best with Firas.
A panther-like monster from the Shades Woods that had six legs and three tails, with ends that reminded her of a venus flytrap. It stuck around the heavy foliage and she can only make out where it was when she saw its golden eyes reflect.
She befriends a young indrik with its leg injured, and much like the hydra it follows her back to her island, and stays there in the mountains. It comes out when she's alone, much like her other beasts.
She receives two more leviathan -- one from clockwork, and one she finds herself while exploring the deeper and darker recesses of the Ghost Zone. It was huddled against the carcass of its mother, and she managed to befriend and get close enough to it to bring it back to her island. SuhÄ is fully grown by then, with a head bigger than Danyal herself and he still likes to stick her head out of the water for nuzzles when she's near.
He's not very happy with his new siblings, but he's not trying to eat them when she's not looking. So she calls it a win in her book.
And it's not just large beasts either; smaller animals begin popping up when she's not looking. Bird-like creatures and small mammals, and she swears she saw a doe (or something resembling a doe) grazing in the forest while she was walking by.
She takes back with her a lone snake egg once, and it grows so big it wraps around her island and sleeps with its massive head on the mountain beside the temple, like some smaller breed of Jörmungandr.
And on and on it goes. Some of the beasts she comes across never step foot onto her island, some of them follow her back, while others she has to carry back. Not all of the ones that follow her stay, and Danny rehabilitates the injured and releases them when they're fully healed.
It's hectic, and busy, and frankly she loves it. Some of her rehabilitated beasts return to visit her, or to have their children somewhere on the island, or whatever it is they need to do.
She becomes a bit infamous for it. She goes to visit Dorathea once, and as she's walking through the streets she can hear some of the denizens whispering while she walks past.
"Is that her?"
"Her highness' friend? Yes--"
"--that's the one--"
"--Mother of monsters--"
Danny's not sure how to feel about that.
Although, she can't say she's opposed.
Danyal Al Ghul, Mother of monsters, raiser of beasts. It has a nice ring to it.
#danny fenton is not the ghost king#dpxdc#dp x dc#dpxdc crossover#danyal al ghul au#dpxdc prompt#fem danny fenton#fem danyal al ghul#mother of monsters danny#if anyone wants to hear about Layal specifically I'd be HAPPY to tell you about her. she's inspired by the song 'scylla' from epic#you can't leave me with dark danny for too long i give him depth if i do. anyways i gave layal mommy issues. she has a complicated view on#danyal and both loves and hates her in equal measure. she killed her out of mercy. she's her mother her sister her other half.#she despises her. she misses her. she'll never see her again. she sees her every time she looks in the mirror. she's 24. she's 10 years old#can you tell that i made layal during a time where i was thinking about the 'dan is danny's kid' dpdc trope bc that's exactly what happened#*holds dad!clockwork up like potato.* 'i just think he's neat :)'#i am incapable of making things only cracky. i must make it meaningful in some way or another.#MMMM i have to cut it off here before it gets too looooNNGGG.#if this flops i'll be sad :((#i just think the idea that danyal has her own little world on her island is neat. she's got dragons and wyrms and serpents and giant wolves#and griffins and one time there's a sphinx although she doesn't stay permanently. Danyal has a blast answering her riddles though.#that panther is based off the dnd displacer beast. there's little salamanders and gazelles with three eyes. there's more sea monsters than#just suhÄ and the other two leviathans but i couldnt think of any. im obsessed with the sea serpents if you havent notice LMFAO.#there's pegasi and a manticore and a ton of infinite realms monsters that are just an assortment of animals slapped together#the shades woods are a mega-island idea that i had. they're where a bunch of the âshades ghostsâ are from. Its this large forest area with#megaflora trees similar to the redwood forest with canopies so thick and wide that no light can reach the bottom. so all of the native faun#living there have adapted to live in the shadows. there are a few villages that live in tall tree houses like the ewok villages that outsid#ghosts can go visit. the panther that's from there is very fond of danyal honestly. anyways yEAH ANIMAL WHISPERER DANNY.#her beasties are all animals up until she's like. 19. where she promptly steals an infant minotaur from a Legends Islands near Pandora#he wasn't being treated well okay!!! she couldn't stand by and watch. his name is asterion. he's a year old. and she'll kill for him.#i dont have enough tags to talk about Damian or her family >:T. just know that i am leaning into her assassin bg as usual :)
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i am actually so tired of the way westerners treat eastern europeans
#fair warning for. a very very long ramble and rant in the tags. apologies#westerner or russian. no other option#westerner because the only thought they ever have is 'but they had universal housing so if you oppose ussr you oppose that'#(which is stupid becuse you can believe in that WITHOUT WANTING LIKE 6 COUNTRIES TO BE FORCED TO BE RULED OVER BY RUSSIA)#(SORRY FOR WANTING TO LIVE IN MY COUNTRY WITH MY HISTORY AND MY CULTURE AND NOT RUSSIA!!) (poland was a sattelite state but GOD)#or russian because they have a victim complex and are convinced that they deserve to rule over the entire damn world#'well you had universal housing so you had it easy' right yeah. okay. forget about like. everything else that happened#to eastern europeans during that time#forget about the things that are STILL issues all these years later not only in poland but like the more eastern countries too#its not about. the fact that the houses 'didnt have 3 bedrooms and a jacuzzi' in them. you DUMB SACK OF SHIT#god sorry. sorry. i also know so very little but like god damn i fucking live here. i didnt sit thru all that modern history#for some dumbfuck to say that 'ohhh only rich and american middle class people are happy the ussr was dissolved'#'oooh the dissolving of the ussr was illegal and the countries within it actually liked being there'#im just so fucking tired man i need to. i need to start killing people#and this is all not to mention that theyll say this stupid shit and then deny eastern europeans the things they actually did that were good#FUCK french people for trying to claim maria skĆodowska. fuck americans for trying to claim the witcher as their own fantasy world#fuck the way the west is allowed to claim and destroy eastern european culture without any consequence because we dont matter enough#vaguely related but ill throw this in here since anyone finding it is unlikely and im scared of having this opinion#i think one underappreciated aspect of DE (which might be underappreciated because its not actually there and im stupid)#is that its pro-communist while still also giving some criticism to how it was handled and acknowledging that its still not perfect#which makes the writers much better communists than any self-proclaimed one ive ever met in my life who just worships the idea#perhaps its because the writers of the game were not white upper middle-class americans living in the suburbs. among other things#idk de is a game for people far smarter than me and i only played it once and im sure anyone who played it well can clock me as a bad perso#horrible horrible person even which is why im scared of mentioning it. but its an interesting thing. to me#the main thing is that im just not. im not far left enough i suppose. i agree communism in theory is a great idea. as far as i know it#(which isnt very far)#but chances of implementing it correctly in a way that doesnt take away from peoples happiness in other areas is. low. very low#i wrote a short essay about how utopias are inherently contradictory ideas once it wasnt very deep or good but like#you cant have universal happiness without restricting certain freedoms. and when those freedoms are resticted not everyone#will be happy. and then theyre unhappy they will have to be somehow removed or ignored
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Well at least the libraries and city parks funding passed đ« đ« đ« đ« đ«
#just ohio things#ngl I'm doom spiraling a bit#at least the shitty gaslight-y feelings from 2020 aren't repeating yet#where the state that I experienced far more overt homophobic bigotry than Ohio#and all my nonwhite friends had big racism issues#got hyped up as our progressive savior in the 11th hour#and its probably only a matter of time before it happens this year too#fuck!!!!! we are the 7th most populous state!!#we have so many so many solid blue urban areas too!!!!#I will never get over the rest of the country just writing Ohio off as a lost cause in the last decade#because that has never been my experience living there#especially compared to other states that are still reliable swing states#I'm a bit drunk and I'll probably delete this later#I just really need some other progressive ohioans who remember when we were THE swing state#I'm gonna have some more gin
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Slowly, yet painfully realizing that we're probably the exact type of person that random fandom guys would miscast as a father.
#we speak#internet teenagers keep coming to us as like the only authority figure on hand who will treat them like people#and we're like... please... we don't want to be an authority figure... why do all of your parents suck so hard...#like we're willing to offer ourself as an anchor as well as we can because we've Been there and know how it feels#but like damn. who the fuck let your families suck this bad. how on earth have situations managed to produce enough of you#that we end up being cast as The Only Adult On Hand Willing To Listen And Talk Through Things MULTIPLE TIMES#and perhaps more importantly why are we the only person in random fandom discords who is willing to treat teenagers like People#weren't the rest of you also teenagers at some point??? don't you like remember how it feels like to not have agency for shit???#experiencing the âonly person in the room who's willing to take a positionâ thing#despite there being like multiple other people in the room who should be WAY more qualified for this#how does this keep happening and more importantly why are we the only guy in the area who is doing anything to help#just to stress this point#we are trying our hardest to NOT be an authority figure because historically it ends terrible for us due to The Mental Health Issue#but somehow we are continually running into situations where we're the only guy willing to come up to plate#the syndromes. the issues. we are so fucking glad that this particular wave is coming now instead of A Few Years Ago#something something progress but also we dislike that we have to be the one handling these situations#because we shouldn't be considered a primary point of stability in anyone's life and the fact that we ARE a stable point to anyone is uhh#weird to think about. who let this happen. we're not old enough to be a parent#and we also find it very alarming that there are so many of you out there who are severely lacking in support#someone needs to work out a childcare arrangement system that doesn't suck because the current one really isn't doing it#while we're at it we can start overhauling the culture that landed us in being the only person willing to listen to people like ever#and maybe make it so we don't have to be a primary support because people are sufficiently supported already
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okay yeah making this its own post because it needs to be said. at the end of the day they are workers doing their jobs and shouting shit at them and acting entitled to a certain type of performance is never okay. itâs wonderful that they love doing it and that it can impact and reach so many people! that impact and their place in the music scene as entertainers does not mean its okay to treat them this way.
#and just getting ahead of anyone thinking oh stop defending them theyre fine#okay maybe they are. but this kind of behavior has ripple effects in the world in general.#you start treating a band like your personal amusement device and shouting whatever you want TO THEIR FACES it only spreads from there.#you start acting that way in other areas of life and towards other people.#at the end of the day this is not an issue even directly about fall out boy; they just happen to be victim to it a LOT.#itâs about concert etiquette and general life etiquette and treating people like people#and not as npcs in your life who should cater to your every whim.#anyway. just have some perspective please and dont do this shit.
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Grieving over someone who isnât gone is such a complicated feeling. Especially when they are your best friend. Especially when they want to leave you.
I still can interact with them today. I can see them with my own eyes, hear their voice with my ears, understand their deepest dreams because we just know each other.
But soon, I wonât be able to see them in person, the only way I can hear their voice will be through a phone, and now someone else will learn to understand them better than me. I will slowly be forgotten as someone else becomes their remembered.
And it hurts. But it happens. And I knew it was coming but I didnât want it to happen so fast. Itâs like when you know something is going to bite you but it hasnât happened yet. You anticipate the pain so itâs like the pain is already there.
Theyâre still here but theyâre already gone. Theyâre not gone forever just gone for now. Youâre still a kid. Theyâre all grown up and theyâre leaving you. It hurts.
#when I say âthey want to leave youâ I donât mean it in a negative way#I am not on bad terms with this person I keep talking about#we are very close and thatâs never going to change#I mean it more in the sense of that theyâre letting go because theyâre ready to let go#itâs hard to explain#like they are ready to let me go because someone else is ready to take care of them now#which is hard because Iâve been their shoulder to lean on ever since I can remember#and now we wonât even be living in the same area anymore#I have a deep set fear of being forgotten and I also have abandonment issues#Iâm just feeling like Iâm being replaced but I feel guilty because whatâs happening is making this person I love happier#theyâre pursuing whatâs best for them and itâs great!#but in adjusting to this strange sense of grief that my one constant in my life is changing#I donât like change#I didnât expect us to stay together forever but I didnât think they would leave me so soon and be so ok with it#everyone I know is comfortable growing up and changing but Iâm so uncomfortable with the idea that itâs hard for me to handle#everyone else is excited to turn into a butterfly and Iâm scared if not being a caterpillar anymore#idk if any of that makes sense but writing my feelings really helps me process and feel better#sfw interaction only#sfw agere#sfw age regression#age regressor#age regression#agere blog#quizzyrambles#Quizzyvents
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so actually its not flu, it's covid
#well!#first time getting covid#my area has had a thing of it not being an issue for years#but hey. still exists of course#so i got it. amazed it didnt happen sooner#and yeah. it really just does feel like flu#only reason i know its covid is because my friend informed me that covid can fuck with your period cycle#and this did. this sickness has made me quite late for my period. like a week and a half-ish late. which was concerning#and yeah. flu doesnt do that. covid does and its too much of a coincidence for it not to be what happened#anyways im still sick but im slowly getting better
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thinking about it sex work isnt inherently less safe than doing any other 1:1 meeting work (a thing youd do a lot in home care as a nurse for example), it's the structures and stigma that make it less so
#i havent done sw ive only done healthcare#i would actually like to do sw#the societal and structural issues around it which are not the fault of swers is whats keeping me from trying it#that and i am in fact not a very hard worker and i have a very niche look/vibe#like theres a market but i fear it might be saturated compared to how many ppl are into it and how many restrictions i have#idk#anyway what i mean by structures is like the way you need to self establish your safety network vs if you go to a client in eg healthcare u#workplace likely knows where you are. also the stigma and hate against swers vs stigma against many other professions#(anyway ymmv im just musing around my own area)#im afraid of being doxxed by you know whats and its already almost happened and theres info connected to my name id rather not be there#so thats sorta my Main Fear like i would wanna keep anonymity if i were to do it and thats hard and im quite recognisable on even like#live video if you really really wanna cause me trouble w like future employers or sth in other fields#ANYWAY#treewhispers
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