#you have to be out of your fucking mind to have this opinion sorry
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Papaya Was Never the Problem
request: Y/N spends months crushing on Lando, only to be heartbroken when he moves on with someone else. Ready for something real, she realizes she had her eyes on the wrong McLaren driver all along—maybe it was Pato she should’ve seen from the start.
pato o’ward x reader
—----------------------------------
Your 16-year-old self would be disgusted at you if she knew that you’d be 23 and simping over a man who did not feel the same about you. But you couldn’t help it, everytime you thought it was over, Lando would pull your right back in.
It wasn’t really even his fault, you had both agreed to keep things casual, that you weren’t looking for anything more. But somewhere along the line, it became a little blurred. You tried to take a step back, but everytime you did he pulled you right back closer. Whether it was random flowers he sent to your door, making sure that everyone knew he took your opinion the most serious out of all the McLaren strategists, or coming over to watch a movie and not hooking up.
You felt crazy. You knew logically that you needed to cut it off but damn you just loved his attention. He could make you feel like you were the only girl in the world.
But you knew that wasn’t the case. If you weren’t there on his arm, someone else was. It was never anything serious – until it was.
It was a race day just like any other and you were buried in data, trying to figure out what you could do between now and qualifying to ensure Lando started P1 on Sunday. You had been at it for a while now, interrupted only by the clearing of a throat. Max Fewtrell stood next to your desk, and the look on his face had you instantly stopping. He looked…guilty?
“What’s up?” You asked, and he hesitated.
“I need to tell you something that is going to hurt you,” he started. “But you’ve become one of my closest friends so I can’t let this go on any longer.”
“What are you talking about?” You asked, heartbeat raising.
“Lando is bringing his girlfriend ot the race tomorrow,” Max said and it felt like you had been doused with a cold bucket of water.
“Girlfriend?” You asked, the word foreign on your tongue.
"Yeah," Max winced. "I'm so sorry. I thought you knew. It's serious apparently. They've been together for a few months."
A few months. The words echoed in your mind as you tried to process what Max was telling you. All those nights, all those moments that felt like something more—they had meant nothing.
"Who is she?" The question left your lips before you could stop it.
"Some model he met at a party in Monaco." Max's hand came to rest on your shoulder. "You deserve better, Y/N. You always have."
You nodded numbly, tears threatening to spill. "Thanks for telling me."
After Max left, you sat motionless at your desk, staring at the data that suddenly seemed so meaningless. Months of your life wasted on someone who had been leading you on while building a relationship with someone else.
The next day, you kept your head down, focusing entirely on work. When you spotted Lando in the garage, you ducked out of the way, avoiding him for as long as you could. You were forced to finally see him during the pre-race briefing and you doing everything in your power to not look at him did not go unnoticed.
“Y/n,” Lando called as everyone walked out. “Can we talk?”
You nodded, gaining the courage to look him on the eye. You knew he knew what was happening the second his eyes met yours.
“I-I I’m sorry,” he mumbled. “I should have told you, but we always said it was casual between us right?”
“Why didn’t you just say something?” You asked, your sadness melting into anger. “Like what’s fucking wrong with you Lando?”
He flinched at your tone, the guilt written all over his face. “I know. I just wanted both of you as long as I could have it.”
“And then you decided that you wanted her more,” you said for him, your heart ripping in half. “Quite frankly I never want to see you again.”
Hurt flashed across his face but you didn’t give him a chance to respond, moving past him and out the door.
The race went horribly. Lando dropped from P2 to P10 and it was just a disaster all around. You knew it was your last race, you’d made the decision last night, before even talking to Lando. There were plenty of things you could do with an engineering degree so you weren’t worried. You could go anywhere you wanted. Away from all of this.
Zak was in a conference room when you found him and you shut the door behind you as you walked in. He looked up at you in surprise, the doom and gloom from the race on his face.
“Hey y/n, tough day today,” he said and you nodded. “What can I do for you?”
“I’m going to be leaving McLaren,” you told him, trying to not let your voice waver. This was your first job and you loved the people here. Loved the work, the environment, everything. But you couldn’t stay.
“What?” Zak veered back, shocked. “After one bad race?”
“It’s more than one bad race,” you said quietly and in that moment he knew. He’d seen the two of you together, and wasn’t the only McLaren employee that was confused by another girl’s presence today.
“What are you going to do?” He asked and you shrugged.
“I don’t know yet,” you admitted and he shook his head.
“Y/n, you are one of the most talented young strategists we’ve come across,” he told you. “I can’t let you leave.”
“I can’t stay Zak,” you said, exasperated. He thought for a moment before lighting up.
“IndyCar,” he said and your eyebrows furrowed. “If you’re okay to move, let me put you on one of our IndyCar teams, probably Patos.”
You hesitated. You were open to moving somewhere new and across an ocean was pretty far away from Lando. Plus you’d get to stay in racing, which was definitely ideal.
“Okay, I’ll do it,” you said and Zak grinned.
“It’s settled then.”
—-----------------------------------------
“Welcome to Indianapolis!” Your new coworker, Hannah beamed at you from outside of the Arrow-McLaren office in downtown Indy.
“Thank you,” you said politely.
“I know we don’t go to as many glamorous places as you’re used to but Indy is pretty historic for racing,” she said.
“Yeah, I actually grew up in Kansas City,” you told her and her eyes widened it surprise. “So I’m familiar with all of this, even if it’s been a while. “
“Sorry! They never tell me anything,” she grumbled.
“No worries,” you told her sweetly. She led you through the lobby and to the upstairs floor, where different mechanics were working. She was around your age so you felt comfortable chatting with her, happy to have someone to be friends with in a new place.
“Okay Tony is waiting for you in his office up there,” she told you and you thanked her before stepping into the room.
“Ahh, y/n, pleasure to meet you,” Tony said, standing up to shake your hand. “Zak sings your praises all the time so I’m happy we got to steal you away.”
“I’m happy to be here,” you said, sitting down across from him.
“I’m going to put you on Pato’s team - he’s our best driver here and I think you guys will get along,” he said and you nodded. “Ah here he is, Pato! Come in here for a sec.”
You turned as the door opened, and in walked a man you'd seen on TV but never in person. Pato O'Ward had a vibrant energy to him, his smile genuine as he entered the room. His eyes landed on you, and for a moment, you felt a flutter of something you couldn't quite place.
"Welcome to the team," he said, extending his hand. His accent was thick but endearing. "Tony has been talking about you all week."
"Has he?" You shook his hand, noticing the calluses that came from gripping a steering wheel for hours on end.
"All good things," Tony assured you. "Pato, Y/N is coming to us from the F1 team. She's one of their top strategists."
"Was," you corrected with a small smile. "I'm all IndyCar now."
"Well, their loss is our gain," Pato said, his gaze not leaving yours. You smiled shyly before turning back to Tom.
“Well, let’s get started.”
—------------------------------------
IndyCar was a whole new puzzle to crack, but you were loving the challenge. The other strategists had welcomed you with open arms, eager to hear your ideas for the car as you headed into a race weekend.
Pato was fast, but Alex Palou was faster and it was a problem you were drowning trying to figure it out. It was late, the warm air of Riverside blowing gently through your hair as you stepped outside, eager to take a break. No one else was at the track, just you and a bunch of numbers, just like you preferred it.
Switching to IndyCar had been a good move. Max had called you a couple of times to check in and you were honest when you told him: you were happy here. Much happier than you were back there. You’d become fast friends with Hannah, and she’d introduced you to her friends, quickly accepting you into the group.
Working with Pato was a breeze. He was focused and driven but also fun and lighthearted. You ignored the way you caught him looking at you every once in a while. You’d seen that look before, just on a different man in a papaya suit.
“What are you still doing here?”
Speak of the devil, you see Pato coming up to you, a boyish smile on his face. You smile back, appreciating the way the track lights hit his face.
“Trying to get you a win,” you said and he laughed.
“I thought I was supposed to be doing that,” he replied and you shook your head amused, turning back to stare out at the track.
"No, I think it's a team effort," you replied, leaning against the railing. "I'm just used to working late. It's a hard habit to break."
"You don't have to do that here," Pato said, moving to stand beside you. His shoulder brushed against yours, and you tried to ignore the warmth that spread through you at the contact.
"I want to," you admitted. "I want to prove that I belong here."
"You already have," he said, his voice dropping lower. "Everyone can see how talented you are."
You turned to look at him, surprised by the sincerity in his voice. There was something in his eyes that made your heart skip a beat.
"Thank you," you said softly. "That means a lot."
A comfortable silence fell between you as you both gazed out at the empty track. The distant sound of cicadas filled the air and you were too lost in your own thoughts to see the way Pato was looking at you.
“You know,” he said, breaking the silence. “I was supposed to meet you last year in Brazil but I was told to stay away.”
“By who?” You asked, eyebrows scrunched in confusion as you turned to look at him. You sighed as you saw his face, already knowing the answer. “Lando.”
“Mhm,” Pato answered. “Is that why you came here?”
“Yes,” you said honestly. “I needed a fresh start.”
“I’m glad you’re here,” he said and you looked at him once again, his eyes on yours. “He didn’t deserve you.”
You felt the heat rise to your cheeks, suddenly very aware of how close you were standing to him. "You don't even know me," you said softly, but there was no bite to your words.
"I know enough," Pato replied, his voice gentle. "I know you work harder than anyone else on the team. I know you care about the success of everyone around you, not just yourself. And I know that anyone who couldn't see what they had with you is an idiot."
You laughed, shaking your head. "You're just saying that because I'm trying to get you a win."
"No," he said, turning to face you fully now. "I'm saying it because it's true."
The intensity in his gaze made your breath catch. For months, you'd been so focused on getting over Lando, on proving yourself in this new environment, that you hadn't allowed yourself any opportunity to open your heart.
“I can’t start something with you Pato,” you said sadly. “No matter how much I want to. I can’t go through it again.”
“I don’t think you understand that it would be completely different,” he said but you didn’t say anything, just looked down at your hands. “Okay, if I have to spend the rest of the season proving that to you then I will.”
—----------------------------------------------------------------
It felt like you were back in F1, watching Max lurking like a shark in the background, quickly gaining on whoever was in front of him like a shark who had seen it’s prey. Except this time the shark was Alex Palou and Pato was unfortunately the prey. Pato had led almost the whole race but Alex did what he did best: win.
The garage was dejected, despite taking second and third and you fully expected the silent treatment from the drivers. Lando always shut down after races, always so in his head that there was no point in talking to him. Pato was quiet during the debrief but you were used to it so it didn’t bother you.
Picking up your stuff, you headed out the door. Pato was waiting for you outside and you looked at him in surprise. You would have expected him to get back to the hotel as soon as possible.
“Do you have plans?” He asked and you shook your head. He was still in his fireproofs, sweat and champagne stained on his face. “Get something to eat with me and talk about the race?”
“We just had a chance to talk about it, but you didn’t say much,” you countered and he rolled his eyes.
“I just want to talk to you right now, okay? I’ll talk to the rest of the team when we’re back in Indy,” he said.
You hesitated, caught off guard by his directness. This wasn't what you expected after a race that didn't go his way. But there was something in his eyes—an earnestness that made it impossible to say no.
"Okay," you agreed. "But you should probably change first."
He grinned, some of the tension leaving his shoulders. "Give me ten minutes."
True to his word, Pato emerged from the motorhome shortly after, dressed in jeans and a simple black t-shirt that hugged his frame. You tried not to stare.
"There's a little place around the corner that's pretty good," he said, leading you away from the track. "I found it last year."
The restaurant was small and unassuming, tucked away from the main streets where most of the racing crowd would go. The hostess greeted Pato by name, clearly recognizing the driver and led you to a table in the back.
"So," you said, taking a sip of your wine. "Second place isn't bad."
"It's not first," he replied, but there wasn't any bitterness in his tone. "Palou is just... consistently good. But we're getting closer."
“We have the advantage on some of the upcoming tracks though – you’ve performed better than he has in the past.”
Pato’s eyebrows shot up in surprise, a smirk growing on his face. “Watching my old races huh?”
You rolled your eyes but a smile was evident on your face. “Doing my job.”
The rest of dinner was spent going through the race almost lap by lap until you really just had nothing left to say. Pato paid the tab and held out his hand to you almost challenging as he got up. You rolled your eyes but took it, letting him lead you out of the restaurant.
“Tired?” He asked, once you were outside and you nodded. “Okay let’s get you home cariño.”
You blushed at the term of endearment and he grinned widely before tugging you along to the car. The ride back to the hotel was short and he walked you back up to your room, gently pressing his lips against your cheek before saying goodbye.
Remember what happened with Lando
Remember what happened with Lando
Remember what happened with Lando
You chanted this to yourself as you got into your room but it was becoming hard. Pato seemed to be everything Lando was not but you had built up a lot of walls around your heart. You still didn’t know what you wanted, not sure if you could handle another situationship during a season just hoping that it could be something more in the offseason.
—---------------------------------------------------------
There was a few weeks in between races so you packed your bags to head off to a nice vacation during your free time. Hannah had begged you to join her and her friends so you found yourself on the sunny beaches of Punta Mita, baking in the Mexican sun. By day three of the vacation your skin had a nice glow to it and you decided you never wanted to go home.
You were sitting on loungers outside with your friends watching the sunset, a margarita in your hands when you saw a familiar face sitting at another lounge area, his eyes trained on you. Your head snapped towards Hannah who looked over your shoulder then smirked.
“Did you know he was going to be here?” You asked.
“I swear I didn’t, but I’m definitely not complaining,” she said with a smirk and you groaned. Soon enough, Pato was walking over with his friends, asking if they could join you all. The seat you were sitting on was definitely big enough for two so you begrudgingly scooted over as Pato plopped down next to you. His arm rested behind you on the back of the lounger and he gave you a small smile.
“Hola hermosa,” he said cheekily and you couldn’t help but smile at his antics.
“Are you stalking me Pato O’Ward?” You said and he let his head dip backwards, laughing.
“Oof, using my full name, does that mean I’m in trouble?” He asked.
“Maybe,” you teased.
“I’d love to see what the punishment is,” he murmured, eyes flickering down to your chest. Your face flamed which only made his smirk deepen. He pulled you in closer to his side and you panicked, feeling yours and his friend’s knowing eyes.
“Pato, everyone can see us,” you whispered.
“Kind of the point cariño,” he replied, letting his hand fall to rest on your upper arm, tracing the skin with his finger. You started to say something else but he jumped into a conversation with his friend next to him.
You couldn't help but feel conflicted as you sat nestled against Pato's side, the warmth of his body seeping into yours. The sun was setting over the ocean, painting the sky in vibrant oranges and pinks, and despite your internal protests, this felt... right.
After a couple more rounds of drinks, the group decided to head to a nearby restaurant for dinner. Pato's hand found the small of your back as you walked, guiding you through the crowded beachfront. The gesture was small, but intentional. Public. A statement.
"You're not being very subtle," you murmured as you reached the restaurant.
"I'm not trying to be," he replied, his eyes meeting yours. "I told you I would prove that I'm different."
At dinner, Pato insisted on sitting next to you, his leg occasionally brushing against yours under the table. The conversation flowed easily, most of his friends having been around a lot of his racing so they could keep up with you and Hannah. When it died down, most of the group decided to turn in for the night but you weren’t ready to retire just yet.
“Walk with me?” You asked Pato and he nodded, slipping his hand into yours as you headed down the shoreline. Being with Pato was easy. You were never stressed, never waiting for the second ball to drop.
He walked you back to the resort, stopping before the staircase that led up to your floor. You turend to him in confusion but were cut off by his lips against yours. They moved slowly and you found yourself moving against him, bringing your hand up to cup his face. His rested on your waist, holding you close to him.
You pulled away after a bit, biting your lip as you stared at him.
“What are you thinking cariño?” He asked.
You hesitated, heart hammering in your chest. You weren’t sure if it was the warmth of the kiss still lingering on your lips, or the way his voice sounded like honey under the moonlight, but the words tumbled out before you could stop them.
“I like you,” you admitted, eyes dropping to the sand. “But I’m not sure I want to do this again, just be someone there for your convenience not able to commit during the season. I’ve already done that before.”
The words hung in the air like a challenge, one you almost regretted the second you said it. But Pato didn't say anything right away. His expression shifted, the playfulness draining from his face, replaced by something sharper—something that almost looked like hurt.
“Wow,” he finally said, his voice low. “You really think that little of me?”
Your eyes widened, head snapping up. “Pato, I didn’t mean—”
“Yes, you did,” he interrupted, shaking his head. “You meant it. And maybe that’s on me—maybe I was too forward, maybe I made this all feel too easy. But I’m not him, Y/N.”
He took a step back, still looking at you like you’d just slapped him.
“I’ve never once treated you like an option. I never played games. I’ve shown up, I’ve been honest, and I’ve waited—for you to see me, to trust me. And I would’ve kept waiting if you needed more time.” His voice cracked slightly at the end, and it cut you to your core.
“I’m not asking you to be mine right now,” he added. “I’m not asking you to give me anything you’re not ready for. But I am asking you to stop treating me like a placeholder for your past.”
Your throat tightened, your own eyes stinging with tears you didn’t expect.
“I’m sorry,” you whispered.
Pato nodded slowly, running a hand through his hair. “I’ll wait for you as long as you need, Y/N. But only if you’re willing to believe I’m worth waiting for too.”
And then he turned, starting to walk back toward the resort, leaving you with your bare feet in the sand and your heart unraveling in your hands.
—----------------------------------
You didn’t hear from Pato for the rest of the break and you tried to not think about the silence. It was hard to not compare him to Lando but it felt like you were right back in it. Big fight, usually a misunderstanding, and then he wouldn’t look at you and you’d pretend it didn’t hurt.
That’s why you were dreading the return to the office, you knew he was going to be there today and you weren’t ready for the silent treatment in person. Hannah gave you a sympathetic look when she saw you, having heard everything that happened when you both travelled home. You spent the first half of the day at your computer, analyzing some data before deciding to get up to grab some coffee.
Rounding the corner you ran straight into someone, your sorrys were cut off by two arms wrapping around you, pulling you into their chest.
“Hola hermosa,” Pato whispered into your ear and you relaxed into him, letting your guard down. You couldn’t help the tears starting to gather in your eyes as he pulled away. “Oh cariño, what’s wrong?”
You tried blinking away the tears, but one fell and was quickly swiped away by his fingers.
"I thought you were going to be mad at me," you admitted, voice shaky. "I thought you wouldn't want to talk to me anymore."
Pato's face softened, understanding replacing his initial concern. "Is that what he would have done? Gone silent on you?"
You nodded, unable to meet his eyes.
"Look at me," Pato said gently, tilting your chin up. "I meant what I said on the beach. I'm not him. I was hurt, yes. I needed space to think, but I wasn't going to throw away what we have because of one fight."
"I'm sorry," you whispered. "For comparing you to him. For not trusting that you're different."
"I know," he replied, brushing a strand of hair from your face. "And I'm sorry I walked away. I should have stayed, talked it through."
The admittance that he could have done something differently didn’t go unnoticed by you and you started to say something else when someone called out your name.
“Y/n!”
You turned around to see Zak Brown coming down the hallway and your face broke out into a massive smile.
“Zak,” you greeted and he pulled you into a bear hug, lifting you off your feet.
“Oh how I’ve missed you,” your old boss said. “I hope you’ve been keeping up with the F1 races, I need your advice.”
“Of course you do,” you teased. Zak reached out to shake Pato’s hand before Pato excused himself to head to lunch.
You walked with Zak to the conference room, chatting about the previous F1 races and what he was thinking.
“I saw you and Pato,” he said as you reached the doors and you froze before deflating.
“Just hopping from one driver to the next aren’t I?” You asked quietly. “I know what you’re going to say.”
Zak looked at you carefully, “Lando didn’t deserve you, everyone knew that. But Pato’s different. He looks at you like you’re his whole world so what I was going to say is that I’m happy for you.”
You looked up at him in shock. "You think so?" you asked, a note of vulnerability in your voice that you rarely let anyone hear.
"Y/N, I've known Pato for years now," Zak said, leaning against the doorframe. "That man has always been passionate about racing, about winning. But I've never seen him look at anything the way he looks at you."
You felt warmth spread through your chest at his words.
"Besides," Zak continued with a knowing smile, "I didn't transfer you here just because you needed to get away from Lando. I sent you here because I thought you'd be brilliant with this team. And maybe, just maybe, I thought you and Pato might hit it off."
"You were playing matchmaker?" You laughed incredulously.
"Call it an executive decision," he winked. "Now, about these race strategies..."
The meeting with Zak flew by, and by the time you emerged from the conference room, it was late afternoon. You checked your phone to find a text from Pato.
Dinner tonight? My place. I'll cook.
After stopping by your own place to change into something comfier, you headed to Pato’s. He smiled as he opened the door when you knocked, stepping aside to let you in.
“It smells amazing,” you commented. You knew you were no longer going to enjoy your family’s white people taco nights after just one glance at what was cooking in the kitchen.
Pato grinned, stepping back over to the stove to stir something in a pan. “It’s my mom’s recipe,” he said. “I figured if I was going to earn your forgiveness, I should start with food.”
You laughed softly, walking toward the kitchen island. “You already have my forgiveness,” you said, watching the way he moved so confidently around the kitchen, barefoot and in a soft black t-shirt. “But if you want to impress me, this is definitely the right way to do it.”
“Good to know,” he said with a wink. “Because I plan to keep trying.”
Dinner was relaxed, the two of you sitting across from each other at his kitchen table, a bottle of wine between you. He kept your cheeks warm with compliments and your stomach sore from laughing. It was comfortable—easy in a way that didn’t scare you anymore.
After the dishes were done (you washed, he dried), Pato grabbed a blanket and led you out to the small balcony that overlooked downtown Indy. The sun had long set, but the glow of the city lights made everything feel soft and quiet.
You curled your legs beneath you as you settled onto the outdoor couch, Pato sitting next to you and draping the blanket over both your laps.
“It’s kind of wild,” you said after a few minutes, your voice low. “That I ended up here. That it took me going through all of that mess just to realize the right person was someone I hadn’t even met yet.”
Pato turned to look at you, his profile lit up by the warm patio light. “I hate that he made you feel like you were hard to love,” he said quietly. “Because being with you? It feels like the easiest thing in the world.”
You swallowed, heart thudding in your chest as you met his gaze. “I was so scared of getting it wrong again.”
“You didn’t,” he said, reaching out to gently tuck a strand of hair behind your ear. “You just hadn’t found the right person to get it right with.”
A beat passed between you before you leaned in, pressing your forehead to his. “Are we really doing this?” you whispered.
Pato smiled, the kind that reached his eyes. “We’ve been doing this for a while now, haven’t we?”
You kissed him again, slower this time—deeper. It didn’t feel like a maybe or a placeholder or a temporary distraction. It felt like a beginning. When you finally pulled away, Pato rested his hand against your cheek.
“So,” he said, eyes dancing, “do I get to call you mine now?”
You couldn’t stop the smile that bloomed across your face. “Yeah,” you whispered. “I think I’d like that.”
“Good,” he murmured, brushing his lips over yours again. “Because I’ve been yours since the day you walked into that office.”
And under the stars, wrapped in his arms, you finally believed it.
#indycar x reader#indycar imagine#f1 x reader#f1 imagine#pato o'ward#pato o'ward x reader#pato o'ward imagine#lando norris x reader#lando norris imagine
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The Soldier's Keeper ★ 22
Pairing: Winter Soldier!Bucky x Doctor!Reader
Summary: Rehabilitation is just a little bit easier with Bucky at your side.
Word Count: 1.2k
Warnings: Gunshot wounds. Mention of stitches.
Authors Note: Please comment, I love interacting with you guys! Be kind! ALSO, if you want to be apart of the taglist, let me know :)
Series Masterlist Next Chapter
“I’m getting really- fuck- really tired of rehabilitation.” You panted, holding Bucky’s arm for stability.
“I know. Just be glad you’re still walking.”
It had been about two weeks since you were shot.
You spent the first few days in bed, laying in a pool of your own pity. Finally, after Bucky had decided your stitches were healing well, you were allowed to start putting weight on it. It took a moment, and a great amount of lifting on Bucky’s end, but you stood.
It started with light pressure and mostly hopping, but you got by. Most of the time, Bucky had to guide you to the kitchen table and bathroom. Too many strenuous movements and the stitches in your side were pulling taut.
You moved with a noticeable limp, barely able to stand on your left leg for more than a few moments. “I used to run track- have I ever told you that?” You panted, taking another unsteady step.
“No.” Bucky responded, holding his other arm out as a precaution. “How long did you do it?”
“Highschool, all of highschool.” You gripped his metal arm, thankful for the steady bar to rely on. “And college, for the first few years. I had to give it up after a while, I started taking on too many classes. I wanted to have some free time.” You rambled, trying to ignore the burning in your thigh.
“You never picked it back up?”
You shook your head in response. “Nope- doubt I ever will, now.” You chuckled dryly. You weren’t a surgeon, but you were still a doctor. You knew the odds of your leg healing properly. “Have you ever played any sports?”
“I played football and baseball in highschool.”
You paused to look at him. “Wooow,” you huffed, smiling at the way he rolled his eyes at you. “I bet you were popular.”
“Keep walking.”
You clicked your tongue and took another shaky step. “So grumpy. Were you this grumpy back in the day?” He said nothing. “I doubt it. I bet you were a ladies man, always charming and ready to make friends.” You imagined him smiling, running around with friends at the bar. “I mean- I’ve been to the museum. They said you were talented in just about everything.”
When you finally looked over at him, he looked drawn in on himself. Awkward and sour. You felt immediate regret toil in your stomach. “Sorry, I shouldn’t have brought it up.”
He shook his head in response, continuing to guide you in another step. “It’s fine.”
“It’s not- Bucky,” you forced him to stop walking. You set a hand on his shoulder. “I’m sorry. I don’t know anything about your life. I didn’t mean to make it sound like you were better before, or whatever. You’re pretty great as you are now.”
He stared at you awkwardly, his gaze flickering across your face. “Thanks.”
You laughed at the confused look on his face. “I mean it. You aren’t the most chatty man, but I’m glad to have you around.”
“Just start walking, quit talking.” He turned away, awkward and maybe even a bit flustered.
Recovering with Bucky became too familiar, in your opinion. You felt like you were constantly in a state of disrepair around him.
But he never complained.
In fact, you started to notice just how good he was at tending to you. You wondered if he liked it, being the one doing the caring for. You wouldn’t call it a control issue, but maybe it helped to be the one in charge, after so long being stagnant.
You didn’t mind it, in all honesty. You were thankful for all his help. You’d often need his help getting to the bathroom, and fixing a stool in the shower to sit on when you needed to bathe.
You felt a little helpless, every now and then, but you were still free. You were alive.
And there was no one you trusted more than Bucky.
After another few days, Bucky came home with something that made you almost shout with excitement. A portable DVD player. “Where on earth did you get that?” You laughed, grinning from the moment he walked in the door.
“The corner store,” He told you, setting a plastic bag of DVD cases in your lap. “And those at a thrift store.”
You couldn’t help but laugh as you dug through the bag. “Oh my god,” you glanced up at him. “These are some- very interesting picks.”
He sat down beside the bed, his hands tapping in his lap. “I didn’t know what you would like, so I just kind of grabbed whatever was on the popular shelf.”
You sorted through the first few. The Notebook. Bat Man. Titanic. Avatar. Willy Wonka. Jumanji. The National Treasure. And a few more you’d never watched. “They’re some of the best, so it’s perfect.” You chuckled.
“These are the ‘pop culture’ moments you wanted to teach me about?” He tilted his head at you.
You nodded, cracking open The Titanic. “Oh yeah, and we’ll start with this one. It’s one of the best.”
“The Titanic?”
You paused, it dawning on you that he was born just after the actual Titanic sank. “Wait- did you know any titanic survivors?” You gaped.
He tilted his head at you curiously as he nodded. “The survivors docked in New York city. A lot of them- the kids, I mean, grew up and lived there. I’d met a few.”
You stared at him for a moment, shaking your head in shock. “I can’t believe yours and the Captain's strength is what marveled at the most. You guys are actual history, it's crazy.”
Bucky swallowed, his gaze shifting to the side- the way it always did when Captain America was mentioned. “Yeah.” He muttered, watching the metal shift as he moved his fingers.
You felt your stomach turn as you realized how horribly that could sound. Your words made him sound like a historical artifact, and not a person. “Hey- Bucky,” you reached out, your fingers brushing against his shirt. “I’m sorry. That sounded awful. I just mean, it’s different- interesting- what you’ve seen.”
He nodded, waving you off. “It’s fine. Now, are we going to watch the movie? I think this is the first time I can teach you about what is correct and incorrect.”
You smiled softly at his attempt to move back to normalcy. “Absolutely.”
After that, the two of you often spent the night either playing cards, or watching movies.
Most of the movies ended up being in a Romanian dub, and only a few had subtitles, but you didn’t mind all that much. You had watched those movies growing up, so you were very familiar with most of the punchlines.
Every once in a while, Bucky would translate for you, during the particularly confusing parts of a few of the older movies. It helped. Before you were shot, Bucky was always trying to feed you common or useful Romanian words. Your pronunciation wasn’t all that great, but he tried not to tease you for it.
You enjoyed whenever Bucky spoke Romanian. You liked the sound of his voice. Bucky seemed to feel more comfortable speaking Romanian, like it was his mother tongue.
And whatever it was that did it, you liked seeing Buck comfortable.
A/N: I picked a bunch or random movies for the dvds, idk. Hope you guys liked todays chapter!
@rafesgurl @pleasecallmeunhinged @jason-todd-fangirl-14 @frog-fans-unite @lonelyghosts-stuff @cherryandsugar @a-world-with-pure-imagination @unicornqueen05 @cupids-mf-arrow @sharkylalala @littlesuniee @meineguete @hawkinsavclub1983 @theconsultingdoctor10 @dollface-xoxo @bloodmocha
#bucky barnes#bucky x reader#bucky fanfic#james bucky buchanan barnes#the winter soldier#james buchanan barnes#bucky barnes fanfiction#bucky x you#james bucky barnes#bucky#james barnes#bucky barnes x reader#winter soldier#tfatws#bucky x y/n#bucky x female reader#bucky barnes fic#bucky barnes x you#bucky barnes imagine#captain america winter soldier#bucky barnes x y/n#bucky barnes x female reader#bucky barnes x oc#bucky barnes x reader fluff#bucky barnes x fem!reader#the winter soldier x reader#the winter soldier fanfiction#the winter soldier imagine#the winter soldier x you#sebastian stan
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*describing smth that only happens in rich areas* yeah so basically i think teachers need to punish kids more
#you have to be out of your fucking mind to have this opinion sorry#take it from someone from a very rural kinda poor area. you dont want your kids treated like that#no not all parents bite your head off for getting their kid in trouble. you just work at a rich school#i saw some heinous shit go on at my elementary school as a kid and im 100% sure that doesnt happen in rich areas#who let my 2nd grade teacher scream at us like that. HELLO??#she would literally scream so loud about how awful and annoying we are and how much she hates teaching us#my 1st grade teacher would regularly degrade us and tell us we were horribly behaved and need to grow up#i also once saw her take a belt and tie a kid down to his chair bc he was getting up too much#to tell you how poor and rural it was lol. we didnt have stim toys or w/e your teacher just tied you down#its so horrible looking back#i do think covid fucked up kids bc they werent learning for 2-3 years and now they're expected to be at a higher level#but i dont think behaviour issues can be settled as easily as some ppl think they can#and to teachers complaining about kids never getting punished: be glad they only get calls home or suspended#i had teachers tell us they wish it was legal to hit students#i had a teacher slam a ruler on a desk do hard it shattered#i had a teacher who would talk behind poorly behaved kids backs. especially if they were neurodivergent or ''weird''#just be kind to children jesus christ
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you ever just have a lot, a LOT of feelings all at once about a character and not even remotely enough words or brainpower to FORM the words to describe everything you're feeling. so it feels like you may explode. yeah
#sorry i got really into my feelings about mark hoffman again#the very specific version of him in my brain that i really really wish i had the time and energy to properly share with you guys#saw#well until i muster the energy to explode all of my feelings out into a fic. if you want to TRY and understand#know that my three biggest hoffman fic insps right now are as follows#your best kept secret hoffman. a series of mistakes hoffman. and rushed like a dreadful wind hoffman.#there is a very clear throughline just know i am extremely emotionally compromised rn#thinking about theee fics vs the canon path hoffman spirals down#something something the absolute tragedy of watching a man's descent into madness#the transformation of a man into a monster#and what could have saved him from himself and kramer's corruption#sorry i'm rambling so much oh my god i was just having such a crying fit out of nowhere about this#do you think he could feel it happening. do you think he was aware he was losing his mind.#the script version of him fucks with me so bad. the crazed rankings and the longer hair and him not being well kept anymore#it's impossible to think he didn't know he was deteriorating#fuuuck okay i need to either chill or write a whole longfic rn#i project on that guy so much i truly don't know if i could properly write my vision of him#until i do something more substantial the full extent of my hoffman exists for me and my boyfriend only. they get me like no one else#well ginny and jenna also get me. please read best kept secret and a series of mistakes Oh My God#where am i going with this. i like tag rambling actually this is a nice way to do it without forcing EVERYONE to read my delirium#anyways if you've read all of this i think i love you? feel free to dm me about hoffman and my very specific headcanons and aus#maybe soon i'll try and start writing my fics about this tragic man#i could never say any of this on twitter btw they'd string me up for my opinions on him as a sad wet beast who could have been fixed#if only he hadn't been weaponized first#god i'm too tired to even be as embarrassed about this as i should be. thought i unlearned cringe already#but i've been spending way too much time on twitter and they HAAATE hoffman there#rip. i know it's not that serious but i'm sensitive rn and hate feeling lonely in my thoughts#ok bye for real otherwise i'll never shut up. i might tag ramble more often bc this was therapeutic in a way i needed badly#cat chat
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feeling very grateful for the cute barista today who clearly clocked a) my fontaines d.c. tote, and b) the fact i was stuck on a spectacularly bad date, and proceeded to play me an entire playlist of fontaines d.c. and sneak me extra vegan marshmallows with my hot chocolate
#an absolute GEM 💗#we need more people in the world like this#they restored my faith in humanity 🙏#unlike my date#who was… well. i’ve been on worse ones i guess#but he monologued at me for a two and a half hours#and on the rare times i actually managed to get a word in edge ways or voice an opinion#he just twisted it round to suit what he’d been saying#it REALLY annoyed me#the entire thing annoyed me actually#i am so sick and tired of going on dates with straight white men who feel the need to explain everything to you#as if you’re not a person with a mind and experiences of your own#also wtf is the point on going on a date with someone when you aren’t remotely interested in getting to know them???#the man asked me maybe two questions total the entire afternoon#i could write his entire fucking biography#also at the end he said how cool and mysterious i was#and i’m like ????#i’m only mysterious because you’d prefer me to be that than an actual person who you could have had a proper conversation with#*breathes out slowly*#phew okay i was angrier about this than i thought lol#the older i get the less tolerance i have for shit like this 🫠#anyway yeah sorry#vent over 😅#i’m just so annoyed because i have SUCH limited energy atm with my pain and fatigue etc and i just wasted it on him ffs#but then again#the cute barista and the fontaines d.c. and the marshmallows were most definitely not a waste of my energy#they totally saved my day honestly 🙏#fontaines d.c.#lulu posts
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y'all can all cancel me (again) for this, but if there's even a SHRED of 'who should I pick?' from Penelope in season 3, I am tuning out SO fast because like. . .sorry not sorry, there IS no choice. Debling is some crusty OC suitor she barely even knows and Colin is a man who she has been so supposedly in love with to the point where she'd ruin her entire family's reputation to have a potential love story with him. Penelope and Colin have background, years of knowing each other, intimacy that few people in the Ton can boast of having (letters, conversations about purpose, fights and arguments and makeups) and her and Debling have. . .a dance or two at a ball because he's a rebound for Penelope's broken heart. he means nothing. he has no nuance, he has no weight to the story, he is such an afterthought to me. either I wanna see Penelope going 'you know what? I don't even LIKE this dude. he's. . .fine, but I don't care about him even a shred as much as I care about Colin' or the INSTANT Colin's like 'you know what? we should get married' if it's not an immediate 'say less, you're already my husband, try returning me without the receipt, Debling whomst?' then I don't want it!
like. . .it's just so frustrating to see all the 'I hope Debling sweeps her off her feet and she rejects Colin's proposal and she makes him work for it and and and-' nonsense from the fandom and it's always tagged and no matter how many times I block it, it just keeps popping up. I go into the Polin tag for POLIN. I don't give a SHIT about a male love interest other than Colin. Not one. Not a shred. Not an iota.
and also. . .Debling has the 'benefit' of not having depth, or character traits, or HISTORY, so peeps can project onto him however they want, but I'm calling it now, there is NOTHING he could do or be that would make me like him more than Colin. Colin will always hit different, and I will always love him more. and if Pen's not on that same page? lol bye
you want me to believe Penelope and Colin are soulmates and it's romance for her to hem and haw about how difficult a decision it is for her to marry a stranger who knows barely anything about her. . .
when Marina was out here dropping banger lines like 'You were the only man with which I could see myself being happy' and 'I do not care about any of these men, where is Colin?'? like hello??? and she wasn't even fully in love with him!!!! but we'll demonize her until the cows come home in our fandom and make her the villain in Polin's love story for DARING to get in between Polin, yet Debling, a white man, is a darling dear perfect prince for getting in between Polin? existing in our fandom solely so Penelope can be like 'lol, Colin ain't shit, let me entertain any and everyone else'?
if that's the direction it goes then, ten toes down and on my mama, she doesn't deserve Colin and she can move because I'm on my way to court him my damn self
and that's that on that
#you know what? lol it's been a bit since i've posted a controversial opinion#tagging it#polin#sorry not sorry i ship polin. . .so i wanna see. . .polin. . .and i'm getting damn sick and tired#of all the bullshit pen/oc pen/other dude theories and stories in the polin tag#and i don't want polin to lose screentime over a frankly bleh male oc#you can't change my mind#if i don't see at least marina's 'you've seen him with the little bridgertons!' level of squee and 'i only want to talk to colin'#levels of devotion then i don't fucking WANT IT!!!!!#yeah definitely try out the marriage market#realize that NO ONE has a good time on the marriage market#try to get over him w/ whomstever#but then be like 'i don't even LIKE this dude where's colin i miss him' about it!!!!!#because otherwise i am not here#i am asleep#and i am courting colin in your place pen#i'm coming for your man#anti debling#if debling has 100 haters i am one of them if he has 10 haters i'm one of them if he has 1 hater i am the hater if he has 0 haters i'm dead#it's incredibly obvious that 'pebling' is half rooted in a revenge storyline fueled by anger at Colin and his complexity#and half a projection of wanting Penelope to have 'choices' because she is a representation and manifestation of the fans themselves#and so people think an OC that can be 'perfect' for them- whoops I mean Pen (because he doesn't have any real depth or interest)#he's a cardboard cutout we can throw whatever you want onto#so we can make him 'perfect' instead of the much more meaningful storyline of pen and colin both being messy and loving each other more#and part of it is bitterness over Polin not being insta-love#which. . .if it was i wouldn't like them as much as i do#anyways y'all ain't slick#and it's fucking WEIRD to be in a fandom that's like 'i ship this couple but i hope she gets with ANYONE else'#maybe you. . .don't ship the couple??#like. . .to the point of wanting her necklace to be from debling. . .and her wearing it everywhere??? WHAT??
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why are you, as an adult in 2024, still hung up on reylo. why are you still mocking the shippers. why do you believe yourself to be superior only because you dislike a stupid ship from a fucking space fairytale. girl (gnc) get a grip
#it's ridiculous. this ship is... stupidly cliché. like if you know fandoms at all#you could easily guess why people would be into it. hello?? have you tried to watch tfa without your hate-on-kyle-ron goggles?#did you watch their scenes together? you don't have to like something to recognize the hints#hell. at the time i didn't really like jonerys but i realized they were going to be a thing when i read agot in 2011#like folks. it's been nearly TEN LONG YEARS. let it go. LET IT FUCKING GOOOO#and for the lucy/cooper shippers out there who think reylos are (again) delusional when they compare the two ships:#no. *you* are being delusional only because you think reylo is unsexy and uncool (which is your right to think btw. obv)#if you can't see why someone would like both of these pairings for similar reasons... idk what to say honestly#people compared it to hannigram... honestly. again i see why they would appeal to anyone who's into both ships#i really do. but... unpopular opinion (since i'm more of a clannibal fan than i could ever be of reylo):#they are more similar to reylo than will/hannibal. there i said it#i'm not talking about the writing (admittedly the quality of it was questionable). i'm talking about tropes#never mind that imo the ghoul is more akin to vader than kylo but whatever#hannibal is an unapologetic kind of villain. he's not gonna have a redemption arc and that's okay#cooper is an antivillain who used to be a good man and became a disfigured cruel bastard. a parody of himself#lucy is him. him before the bombs dropped before he discovered the person he trusted the most wanted to commit genocide#nice. moral. polite. infused with the Good Old American Values™. he's basically her dark side#all of this is very hannigram/clannibal. i'm not denying it at all#but what'll likely happen is that lucy's actions will have a positive influence on the ghoul and remind him of what it means to be a man#and that's way more reylo-like. sorry.#beauty&thebeast/villain with some hidden good in him+morally righteous heroine/enemies to lovers etc.#i mean. hello??..... having said that. i'm not so much of a reylo shipper anymore and tbh never was. i really liked it at the time#but i was never fond of the st era. my fav characters are vader and leia and revan from the old eu. just saying#*and* it's also not impossible lucy gets darker with the ghoul as her traveling companion. in fact i wouldn't dislike it at all#if done well i mean#but i would still like for people to be intellectually honest and less puerile. god knows i have my notps#but i really don't give a fuck about the shippers. good for them i guess? i have better taste lmao but that's heavily subjective#val rambles in the tags#val speaks#txt
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I just love how in age of ultron
Marvel established
that they have these pods
that can heal people of serious injuries
And are capable of building an entire body out of nothing pretty much aside from like a sentient Rock
and that this pod
which is destroyed at some point in this movie
is a lower level version of something that Dr Helen Cho has in her facility in wherever she said it was cause it's been a while since I've watched this movie
and then they
to my knowledge
Never mentioned again
#i used paragraphs instead of commas#im sorry it just flowed closer to the way it sounds in my head#marvel#age of ultron#like seriously at that point did Anyone need to die?#did bucky Absolutely Have To Have a metal arm?#thors eye anyone?#like the only deaths i feel you could make an argument for are nat and vision#because clint didnt bring nats body back with him (utter bullshit in my opinion#that the soul stone doesnt even allow you to bring back the corpse of your loved one#so you cant even give them a proper burial#and they just decay on those wet ass rocks)#and vision died cause his Brain Rock was ripped out and i dont think they would have been able to replicate it#but literally EVERYONE ELSE#TONY? AUNT MAY?? A THIRD NAME THAT IS SLIPPING MY MIND AT THIS MOMENT???#i havent closely followed the marvel fandom since endgame#and i fully stopped giving a shit after multiverse of madness because what in the christ was that#PIETRO?#theres the third name#PIETRO WAS LITERALLY IN THE SAME MOVIE TOO WHAT THE FUCK#THIS FEELS LIKE LAZY WRITING AT THIS POINT#HE LITERALLY COULD HAVE HAD A MIRACLE MAX MOSTLY DEAD MOMENT#AND WALKED OUT OF THE HEALING TUBE ROOM AND HIT THEM WITH A “WHAT YOU DIDNT SEE THAT COMING”#thats officially my headcanon now#ngl ive been pissed about pietro dying since 2015#he was hot and i was 14 what do you expect
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sorry im just thinking about bcs but like. why not add a few smaller scenes of gus interacting with his own men? why does it seem like, in comparison, mike is almost immediately elevated to a higher status than those two in bcs purely because we actually get to see him having normal conversations with gus? like i understand they might not keep the plot moving as well because of the fact obviously if victor is currently doing something it’s because gus told him to etc. but for the most part all of the smaller interactions gus does have with those two ends up being in a somewhat high stress situation where it feels very tense between everyone. and it’s just like damn! is it always like that?? why do those two even care that much about their jobs if their boss is a bit of a dick? etc. i think even an additional scene or two with those guys (either alone or the both of them) talking with gus in a more normal situation could’ve both added a bit more depth into how gus treats his employees (we got a lot with how he treats lyle and co., but not a whole lot with the illegal side of things), how comfortable vic and tyrus feel around him in a calmer setting, and exactly why they both feel the need to be as loyal as they are to the guy.
and also on the other side of this i don't think it'd hurt to maybe elaborate on their pay just a bit..? i'm not saying to randomly put a number out into the atmosphere but i just mean some smaller things like. do they buy nicer things for themselves? what's their housing situation? what's their car situation? are the escalade / yukon their own vehicles or does gus just use those two for business situations? do they use them when they're doing their own stuff off the clock or do they have their own cars? etc. that can also help with understanding their motivations a bit. don't get me wrong i don't think they should be visibly rich or something because that's not what gus would want but just smaller things! cause it's easy to write their loyalty off as Well they probably get paid super well, which i'm sure is true, but if they don't show a single hint of that then what's the point. even something as simple as giving tyrus a nice watch, or maybe victor having a nicer looking gun, etc. something small like that. because as it stands right now the average 41 year old viewer who watched the show once only knows and will only ever know victor and tyrus as those two guys in the background who do random stuff for gus with no clear motivation. just the personification of "On it boss (salute emoji)". and to be honest this is true for a whole lot of fans who do watch the show multiple times and enjoy thinking about it more in depth, because on screen we barely have anything about the two.
and to be clear i'm not trying to say we should have an episode just for them or something like no i understand they're side characters. i understand we don't need all that. and i understand this is also primarily Jimmy's show. but it's not like these two are on the same level as like, arlo or paige and kevin etc. these guys have been around since brba. victor was literally introduced in the same episode gus was. and they are a huge part of gus's story, especially in brba. s4 wouldn't have been what it was without victor and tyrus. and in bcs, ignacio's situation wouldn't have been the same if it weren't for victor and tyrus as well. and i just personally believe that if their goal with gus in bcs was to go back and elaborate on how everything came to be and show what he was like a few years younger, they could've dragged victor and tyrus into that. and i think his character would've benefited from taking that extra step with those two.
#gray.txt#and you know. obviously i personally have my own clear ideas of everything. and i'm content with what i got. this isn't coming from a place#of Well victor is my favorite guy so everything should be about him LOL. i know what he is.#but thats only because i spent like what? 2 years now watching random interviews and analyzing the smallest details within the show that#genuinely meant nothing while they were writing the scripts. and then throwing some random ideas at the wall to see if they stick.#and i just dont think everybody should have to do that LOL. and i think gus's character gets a lot more interesting#when do you do have this clear idea of victor and tyrus in your head and how he interacts with them. but 99% of people dont have that!#nobody fucking knows everything giancarlo and vince ever said about box cutter. nobody knows about the interview where giancarlo referred t#his entire business (meth and restaurant) as his 'family'. and they'd never think of that in those terms#because with the exception of his restaurant workers and mike#it feels like he HATES them LMAO.#tldr all i'm saying is i think we could've benefited from at least one 1 minute long scene of victor and gus exchanging words#where it doesn't end in gus snapping the phone in half out of anger. and also let tyrus speak his mind and have gus agree with him once#also yeah sorry this is all over the place but it is somehow the most coherent i have felt in months so this is as good as its getting sorr#sorry .#also to be clear about my earlier statement that’s a lie my idea of those two is not clear in my head whatsoever i just meant in comparison#to literally the average viewer. and my own personal thoughts about them aren’t even true it’s just opinions and guesses.#and i love a character that i can just say shit about but at the same time i think it’s fun to have idk something in the source material#that you can actually use while thinking and not have to dig around 11 year old reddit AMAs#and that money paragraph sort of came out of order what i meant by saying all that is like#i feel those two could benefit from a clear motivation for why they do all the things they do#and if we have neither personal reasons nor monetary reasons then it just makes them feel like one dimensional henchmen or something#came out of no where* not order you dumb fuck (< me)#also it doesn’t have to be clear in our faces or anything whatever you know what i’m saying . this is too long i can’t keep elaborating
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i havent even read enough gl to justify the feelings and emotions i have about kyle i just have the lovers heart and also something wrong with me. and my projection. in my mind he's just like me. and he would have loved college vending machine frozen cheeseburger and heating it up in the microwave at 1 in the morning because he was bored and didn't want to work on a drawing assignment on 20" x 30" paper that was due tomorrow in his freshman year. he would have loved going to the club to push off finals work that's creating the worst stress known to man in his brain. and he would love to annoy the fuck out of his roommate when high and avoiding homework on a saturday.
#IN MY MIND HE'S JUST LIKE ME and i understand why he dropped out of art school also.#i need to get back to my readings but im too into thinking about the couple dozen issues i have read#and then going i wonder what he was like in college. and the answer is definitely fucking annoying.#if i knew him i know we would be not arguing in art history class. i would be saying his takes are stupid outside of class during break.#and he would go i dont know how somoene can defend british utilitarian furniture so vehemently and try to liken it to bauhaus design#our arguments would also stem from having very different art history and therefore philosophy education. his background would be from a pro#who would focus on european canon as per usual while my prof was coming from the perspective of someone with a phd in asian art history#and a curriculum based mostly around exploring and investigating non euro art work and how movements like modernism and#post modernism functioned in other continents.#this is such a main blog post but idont care. EVERYONE HAS TO KNOW HOW I PROJECT AND INTERACT WITH HIM IN MY MIND#he would also hate how i argue for art even i dont care about by approaching it at the philosophical angle.#'how do you like this it's barely even art. or it is art. but it's a boring cop out for suckers. honestly.'#'the thing is i dont like it. i just think you need to expand your world views and stop being close minded. youre limiting yourself.'#you might go eiffel what are you basing this on? the answer is vaguely remembered panels in my mind plus generally taste opinions of his i#can gleam from what art references they give him within issues.#it would also be funny bc like. he has a background in design... he's just stubborn and snobby i think when it then comes to the realm of#fine arts. i think his opinions and how they operate in regards to design + illustration + non gallery art are probably quite different#but i cant lie. from the singular 'i dont wanna be some loser who shows up with a blank canvas to a gallery' panel i remember someone talki#about in a post i have used it to create a variety of thoughts i think he could have had.#and the answer is the opinions of someone definitely a little annoying in art school. with a pretty standard traditional training#and background that stems from euo+american art history and sensibilities that inform how he interacts with art. which is very normal#but i think it's funny to view him as someone i would probably roll my eyes at for some comments he would be making.#and it gets funnier with how he acts generally as a person.#kyle you cant be this snobby when you are drawing pin ups of your work crush in your home studio...#good lord this got so long i have a problem. hi. sorry to my new follower your kyle posting made me go ha ha kyle. i like that guy.#static.soundz#back issues box#< it might as well go there bc i blabbed way too hard and too much. sorry. overtaken by an entity in my mind
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if i disappear after saying that ive been assassinated no jokes aside if i take that down its not bc i disagree with it, you can still pin it on me as a belief that i think that shit should be said and ill put my whole ass behind it, but saying shit like that has consequences lmfao. also theres a time and a place to bring that up
#ive already. dealt. with enough fucking propagandising royal family members on my fucking ASS this lifetime to last. the rest of#this universe's incarnation. sometimes its better to not get involved which i KNOW is a big part of why the propaganda is rampant#among people who work with ''demons'' but like. no. no race is more superior than other races. hot take i know sorry#~abyssal murmurs#honestly tho. im so sick of dealing with the topics of ascending and (''demon'') racial supremacy and fighting jxdaism under the guise#of ''we hate chrxstians tho and thats good!'' bc ''(JEWISH NAME FOR GOD????) is a horrible person he wiped out half his angels!!!!''#listen i do not care how uncomfortable you are w your species' and peoples' histories you are. leave innocent fucking people and their#concept of the Creator that you dont even understand alone. whats the point in pride in your people if youre only proud of how#your people are Better than another set of people. like. bruh. are you proud of being a (demon) or are you so insecure your only source of#literally describing said propagandising family members lord almighty im gonna stop myself there.#WOW. I DSFJKHDFH. IVE NEVERRRRR SUDDENLY GOTTEN THE URGE TO TALK SHIT ABOUT WAR /AND/ SPILL THINGS PEOPLE#WANT SECRET /AND/ TALK SHIT ABOUT TWISTING KNOWLEDGE TO MAKE YOURSELF LOOK GOOD /AND/ HAD IT DEVOLVE INTO#''even tho im (practically) hindu jxdaism is too fucking important to my family for me to not have OPINIONS about shit'' BEFORE HMM#WEIRD WEIRD unincarnated selves just fucking going AT it. i mean. spilling opinions. cant say they havent gone at it in other#ways too wow no wonder Ardhanarishvara (God as half man half woman) and Shiva and Shakti are super important to me -#NO WONDER THIS CAME AFTER TALKING ABOUT CONSCIOUSNESS AND MIND WHO I SEE AS SHIVA AND SHAKTI#anyway the first post had nothing to do w jxdaism and this topic itself has nothing to do w it i just finally had it click why Certain Peop#calling the things the kings they worship did atrocities of (name) was bothering me SO much. i mean i knew why the rest of it was bothering#me - i mean the NAME bit clicked
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start telling yourself that people like that ain't worth your mental energy (which is just the truth bestie!!!!!!!!!!) <3 and they'll always have that passing thought at 2am right before they fall asleep that you were right and they were wrong and stupid whilst you are in ur lil pillow palace sleeping like a peaceful rock and having the best time of ur live (✿^‿^)
(more serious answer under the cut)
sorry if none of this will actually make sense, but this was my thought process to learning to letting go;
and well for me it was part growing up on the internet and part learning to just not care and live my silly little life haha. I've been blocked by so many people, even huge accounts and often for the stupidest reasons (like having a different opinion about Timothée chamalet definitely not trying to be harry styles because he literally just wore a black sparkly suit to an award show) and it's all about just. letting go (and that's a lot lot looot harder to do than just saying it. it takes a lot of time to learn it and to accept it and it's okay to feel sad and upset and confused)
something that greatly helped me, is that i allow myself those 10 to 15 minutes of feeling hurt and confused, especially if it was a blog i actually liked or felt i vibed with. and then i tell myself that, yeah, everyone is allowed their own, curated online experience! and if im not part of that, than so be it. will it still make me cry at 3am 7 months later when im spiraling and thinking about all the wrong i ever did? yes. will it make my daily life a bit lighter because im not constantly worried about others' opinions of me? also yes. is it one of the hardest things to do? also absolutely yes! it's a long process of establishing your self worth and learning that people are strange and illogical creatures that do irrational things.
and being able to tell yourself 'oh well' will greatly!! improve your mental wellbeing. you're not constantly picking apart your (and their) brain to figure out why.. sometimes there is no why unfortunately.
I'm blocked by huge blogs in different fandoms (and PETA on both twitter and instagram for two different things i did), some I've genuinely never even interacted with! and it does suck when one of their funny posts comes on ur dash and all ur moots are having fun throwing it around like a dodgeball and ur just watching from the sideline like >:( but then again they can't rebollge your funny posts either! so it's on them. their posts aren't that funny afterall!!!!
learning to let go is really important in life, and especially with how big the internet is a part of our lives and that people feel more and more comfortable with the nonexistent lie of anonymity on the webs. words and actions don't have impacts anymore, suddenly.
im here if you ever need to talk about it though, because being blocked can really really sting, even if you've mastered the art of living rent free in people's heads
and also, remember; they're genuinely not worth your time and mental energy!!! you've only got one you and it's unfair to yourself to divulge all your attention to others when they can't spare another look at you(r content).
(also a tiny little thing i did to 'practice' being okay with being blocked is just getting blocked by accounts like PETA. it's part of rejection therapy i guess? but a corporate account won't really remember! so! and getting blocked by them is easier than it seems :>)
you're someone's hated tumblr
#again sorry if I don't make any sense AT ALL#but#i think it's also partially my initial personality. im a bit of cunty person I don't mind being a bit rude sometimes#i practice treating people with the absolute most kindness but i also dont want to hide my thoughts because others dont like it#that's also why the block function exists. dont like it dont look. curate your own online space#but have the wrong opinion and i will call you out hehe. i bite. i scratch. i kick!!! and i also move on <3#one thing tho I am still SO pissed about the fact i got blocked for saying that TC is NOT trying to look like HS#for wearing a glittery suit like what the FUCK gina you were so wrong about that and the fact YOU blocked ME for calling you out you better#be reading this!!!!!!!!!!!! NOT EVERY MAN WANTS TO BE HARRY STYLES!!!!!!!! UGH#anyway#i am also kind of like a rabid dog so yeah
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"how to make your character more likable" "where do you rate likability when you think about characters" "top 20 likable characters" "likability is so important for books" "your characters absolutely must be likable or your book is a failure" "how to make unlikable characters in a likable way" i hate it here i hate it so much. i am going to rip out the throat of likability culture with my own teeth.
#it's coming to the point where i cant even handle the term 'likable'#no!!!! shut up!!!!!!#the fixation on character likability is genuinely such a bad trend for fiction#im sorry. but if you only care about whether your readership will like your characters youve lost in some way#make believable characters. make complex characters. make insane characters. make weird characters. make heartbreaking characters.#but my god stop thinking so much about if your characters are likable.#who! gives! a! shit!#the reality is some people will love or hate your character based on literally nothing than their own subjective opinion#there is no way to make a character likable to everyone. or even most people.#so just dont care about that! and we as readers really gotta stop making this the number one thing to care about in a character#i dont give a fuck if a character is likable or not. are they complex? are they a little weirdo i can rotate around in my mind for days?#do they have motivations and dreams and heartbreaks? do they feel like a real person?#all of those metrics matter 10000x more to me than if i personally like them or not.#there are perfectly unoffensive bland ass characters who exist to be likable and are boring in literally every other aspect#if you focus on likability you have to sand so many edges off of your characters#they cannot be mean or offensive or rude or harsh or weak or vulnerable or or or#bc! they have to be LIKABLE! which means they can only be strong powerful perfect lovable#wrote my own post bc i saw poll results about if characters needed to be likable and blacked out with rage lmao
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bnha is going into all this plot shit and blah blah katsuki blah blah tomura…i do NOT fucking care. can we get back to my boyfriend dabi please? for the love of GOD?
i do not give a fuck about this series i just want to see what happened to him but nooooo i have to wait for all this other dumb “main plot shit.” idgaf about katsuki crying like a little bitch in the hospital. WHERE. IS. DABI?!?
#this is mostly a joke before ya’ll jump down my throat#honest to god tho i stopped really caring about the main plot when they brought katsuki back to live with a JEAN HEART. fuck off#why even bother killing him in the first place if you bring him back the next chapter?#and the way you bring him back is so fucking STUPID#they shoulda let his ass stay dead#a good series should be emotionally impactful plot wise#i get that it’s shonen but still. if you kill a character off let them stay dead.#and maybe if they didn’t bring bakugou back to life in the ABSOLUTE DUMBEST WAY POSSIBLE i wouldn’t care so much#if you make a plot decision stick with it#if you endanger everyone’s lives but no one ever dies it’s low stakes#if you pussy out or change your mind AFTER YOU KILLED THE CHARACTER#you’re either a bad writer or a huge pussy#shonen series can be good without having to kill anyone#and there’s being over the top like JJK has been recently#where everyone dies but it happens so much and with so little buildup or follow up afterwards it doesn’t really matter to anyone anymore#weeb speak#bnha spoilers#bnha rant#rant#the plot twists in this series were very weak too#everyone can see it all coming it’s not really shocking#the characterization (of the boys only…sorry) was also good as was how quirks work#having them also have a downside and the world itself was really good#and the lore too was all great#the plot itself is kinda meh all things considered#just my opinion!!!
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Go Slow
Pairing: Logan Howlett x Reader
Warnings: SMUT! p in v, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it), riding, (brief) dry humping
Summary: it's your first time and Logan tries to go slow, he really does, but some things just can't be helped
Word count: 1.6k
A/N: i'm not too practiced in smut so sorry if it's shit 😭
Logan knew you were on the shy side of things. During the start of your relationship he’d had to coax words from you, feelings and opinions you held until you felt comfortable enough to share them without being asked. You’d be nervous and fidgety when asking to see him, acting like he was an attractive stranger when he was your boyfriend.
In all honesty though Logan didn’t mind. He enjoyed your shy, almost naive personality, and was more than happy to wait for you to be comfortable with him before suggesting going any further.
Sure, it was difficult for him to wait, but not impossible. If his pants tightened slightly when you walked in the room with ridiculously short shorts and practically sat in his lap with them, you didn’t notice. When you were sleeping in bed together and would unconsciously rub yourself against him, causing him to have to leave the bed for a bit lest he did something he'd regret, you remained blissfully unaware. And if he was putting away your laundry and came across a pair of lacy black panties with bows adorning it, you wouldn’t even notice they went missing.
Logan was more than okay to wait.
You, on the other hand, were not.
It started with small changes in you and your actions, though Logan couldn’t quite place his finger on what it was. You were more flustered around him than usual, jumpier and shier than you’d been before. You were quieter too, staring at him with more intensity than before, as if trying to read his mind. Yet it wasn’t as if you were pulling away from him, because you were much more touchy and clingy than usual, always needing to hold him and often being the initiator of any make out session you two might have- which is as far as you’d gone.
It was during one of these sessions, having started when you both grew bored of the movie playing on the screen, that you started straddling Logan, kissing him with more fevor than you usually did. Surprised, though certainly not disappointed, Logan kissed you back, hands resting on your thighs and occasionally running up and down them when his control slipped.
When he felt you rock against him slightly he knew something was up. You were never this forward with him, and was always the one to stop Logan when he got a bit carried away. Yet there you were, gently rocking against him while you kissed, moving against his jeans almost desperately, rubbing against him until there was a rock hard bulge for you to move against and Logan had to gently push you off him.
Immediately you started apologising, looking at your hands nervously fidgeting with your t-shirt, refusing to so much as glance at Logan.
“Hey, hey, you’re alright Bub,” Logan said gently. “I just don’t want to do anything before talking about it first.”
You risked a glance at him, trying to find any lie in his face. “You’re not angry at me?”
Logan would have laughed if he wasn’t worried about upsetting you further. “‘Course not. I fucking loved that, actually, but we can’t do it, or anything like that, without talking about it first. I gotta make sure you’re okay with it.”
You nodded your head with such eagerness Logan’s cock twitched in his pants. “I’m okay with it.”
He smiled at your needy demeanour and had to hold himself back from gladly going along with it. “What exactly do you want, Sweetheart? I gotta know that.”
You bit your lips shyly, glancing up at him from your lashes in such a way Logan was tempted to be fucked with all of this and just take you. He’d been waiting for months, however, so he could certainly wait a few more minutes, and restrained himself as such.
“I want to feel good,” you mumbled quietly. “Want you to make me feel good.”
Oh fuck.
Logan wasn’t sure he could handle this. Desire was coursing through his veins, his cock was throbbing almost painfully against his pants as he watched you, shy and naive but so wanting for him.
“Alright Bub, we can do that,” he eventually said, because fuck he wanted to make you feel good too. He wanted you moaning and whimpering his name, whining and panting underneath him because of him.
Yet as soon as he had you undressed and under him he could tell it wasn’t what you wanted. You looked petrified, eyes squeezed shut as you waited for Logan to enter you, and that just wouldn’t do.
“I’m not doing this Sweetheart,” he said, moving away.
You opened your eyes, seeming both relieved and disappointed at the same time. “What? Why?”
Logan sighed, wrapping you up in his arms and kissing your neck. Even with both of you naked it was surprisingly not desire filled and simply comforting. “Because you obviously don’t want it.”
You shook your head and turned around to face him, straddling him in a similar position as before. “I do want it. Just… it felt a bit scary like that.”
Logan thought about her words for a moment before inspiration struck him. “Do you want to ride me instead?”
You actually gasped, your eyes widening at the suggestion, yet he could also see the desire radiating off of you- he could smell it too- and feel the slick coming from your cunt at the thought. He smirked, taking that as a yes.
“I’m going to lift you up and slowly place you down on me. You can stop me at any moment, okay?” he asked you, wanting to make sure you were comfortable with this.
You nodded your head, looking apprehensive but also excited, as you glanced down at his hard on, licking your lips slightly. “I don’t know if it will fit.”
Logan nearly groaned then and there. “It will.”
Hesitant but sure, you let Logan’s hands wrap around your waist and lift you up, positioning his cock at your entrance. He gave you a few seconds to back out, and when you didn’t, staring at him confidently, Logan sunk you down on his cock.
Fuck even just his tip inside you felt like heaven, your cunt squeezing against him. You let out a gasp and he hesitated, waiting, and you slowly nodded your head, giving him the go ahead to continue. He did so gently, making you take him inch by inch, stopping every so often for you to get used to the feeling of him until you’d finally taken all of him inside you.
The feeling of your walls squeezing his cock was heavenly. He could barely think, and all he wanted to do was fuck you hard and fast, chase the release he so desperately wanted. Yet he waited for it to feel comfortable for you, waiting for the pain to ease before he did anything.
“Okay… what now?” you asked in a timid voice.
Logan had to muffle the sound threatening to escape him at the sight of you blinking bashfully at him while he was inside you. It was too good to be true.
“Now you move,” Logan said roughly, because he didn’t trust himself to move and not fuck you viciously like he wanted to.
You thought for a moment before giving an experimental rock, gasping at the pleasure accompanying the action. You repeated the rock again, then again, creating a slow but sure movement that was slowly killing Logan.
Every sway of your hips, the way you rode his cock eagerly if not skillfully, was pushing him closer and closer to the edge.
“That’s it baby,” he rasped. “Just like that, you’re doing so good for me baby.”
You rolled your hips, whining at the praise and closing your eyes but only increasing your motions, one hand moving up to cup your breast. You grounded onto him, gasping when he hit that perfect spot, whispering Logan’s name like a prayer
He swore at the sight, and couldn’t help the jerk his hips made, a small gasp escaping you. It felt so good, the spike of pleasure overwhelming and your readily response too much, and he did it again.
You moaned this time, a dirty, high pitched sound that was ringing in Logan’s ears, urging him on as he took your hips in his hand and lifted you up, only to slam you down on his cock again. Your moan was delicious, and you placed both your hands on his chest, moving forward to make him go deeper.
Logan did groan this time, and used your hips to continue moving you on his dick, his large hands squeezing the soft flesh of your hips. You were a whining mess, eyes glazed and body limp above him.
“Feel so good,” Logan grunted, thrusting into you. “So fucking good for me.”
You whimpered, gasping as your eyes fluttered closed again. Logan grinned.
“You like that baby? You like me telling you what a good girl you’re being, riding my cock so prettily.”
Your moans came more frequent, panting every second, and Logan could tell you were close. He increased his pace, wanting to see you fall apart in front of him, and wasn’t disappointed by the result.
“Come on baby, cum for me.”
With a cry you threw your head back, ecstasy painting your face as you came, your walls tightening. The feeling of them squeezing Logan’s dick, your cunt milking it for all its worth was too much and he felt himself fall after you, his load of cum shooting into your already stuffed hole.
“Fuck baby,” he cursed, helping you ride out both your highs, moving your hips over him.
You were still panting as you slowly came down from your high, boneless as you laid against Logan’s chest.
“You did so good for me darling,” he murmured, kissing the top of your head.
You let out a sound, nuzzling his neck, and he happily held you against him, pressing kisses to your face and neck till you were ready to move.
#logan howlett#logan howlett x reader#logan howlett fanfiction#wolverine#wolverine x reader#wolverine fic#wolverine fanfiction#wolverine smut#logan howlett smut#x men#x men smut#smut#logan howlett x you#logan x reader smut#logan howlett x reader smit#wolverine x reader smut
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What if we get like an internal monologue of just how much Sevika is into you? Like if it’s her first day as counselor and she sees you walking around the halls helping out as an assistant. She can’t help but think reader is so damn cute! Maybe even reader flirts a little from afar <3
Pretty Piltie ⋆˚✿
thank you anon, and yes i love this, this is very cute ! i went a little different for some plot but i hope you like it :) i also have a few more pirate sevika fics coming out so look out for those ! coming sometime this week :) masterlist
After her first day on the council, she saw you in the hallway, walking around with your clipboard in your face. (Definitely in a hurry)
She raised an eyebrow at the pep in your step and the carelessness of you flipping through pages while walking. Before she could even move to the side, you bumped into her.
"I'm so sorry," You looked up at her with an embarrassed look on your face, "I thought the halls would be empty."
She couldn't even get a word out before your eyes widened, "Shit. The meeting is over, isn't it?"
You scurried to the doors she just came from, and she almost laughed at your actions. Even after the exasperating meeting she had a smile graced her lips.
Well, I could get used to that.
When she got home, her mind flashed back to the girl she encountered in the hallway, furrowing her brows. She tried to rid of the image. Maybe she was just thinking about it because it's the only exciting thing that occurred today. Yeah, that's it.
The next week, she had to come back for a second meeting, this time staying back longer to discuss things in finer details. A couple of councilors have already up and left as it was getting late.
After a few minutes, she saw you walk in with one of the council members. You had a nervous smile on your face while the older woman spoke to you.
Sevika let out a snort at your expression, finding it to be oddly cute but containing herself moments later. Although she couldn't stop eyeing you when you stood behind the councilors chair just across from her.
You were scrawling out things on your clipboard while the grey-haired woman in front of you spoke. Sevika was only half listening as her eyes bored into your face, taking in all your features.
I mean, who knew Piltover had princesses like this.
Suddenly, you looked up to make eye contact with Sevika, her brows 5 she averted eye contact to look at the woman in front of you.
She saw your smile from the corner of her vision when she looked away. Fuck.
It seemed like every time you looked away she stared back at you, she didn't come here to eye-fuck her co-workers assistant but damn.
She watched the way you tilted your head when hearing something strange, or raised your eyebrows at something controversial, bending over to whisper something in the ear of your boss.
All in all she was definitely lost in thought when someone called her name, "Sevika!"
She looked over at the woman beside her who spoke, "Shall I repeat myself? I say, what are your thoughts on this matter?"
Sevika blanked. She racked her brain for an answer but the only one it was coming up with was the curve of your smile and the hue of your eyes.
She saw your surprised face and you mouthed something to her, "Say you agree."
She coughed into her fist before speaking, "I suppose that's fine."
The others looked at her suspiciously but carried on nonetheless. Throughout the rest of the meeting she made sure to pay close attention, so that she wouldn't slip up Infront of her co-workers again.
When the meeting was dismissed she was the last to leave, running her hand down her face in a way to ease her mind. She took a deep breath before stepping into the hall.
She was greeted with the sight of you talking to a few advisors, taking notes, and handing out papers. She found it endearing the way you bounced from person to person, engaging in conversation.
It seemed like you were taking peoples opinions for your survey. This was her chance to redeem herself. (She's embarrassed you had to help her earlier.
After speaking with an unfamiliar lanky man, you turned around and locked eyes with Sevika once again.
You waved at her, flashing her a cute grin. But before you could take a step towards her, your boss was calling her away.
Immediately, you deadpanned and pulled your lips into an exaggerated frown. Sevika smirked at your expressions and flicked her hand teasingly in a shoo, motion.
She would most definetly be seeing you again.
i know this is a bit shorter than my usual, spare me
im also having major writers block and i have 20+ asks so 🙏 let me cook here, i also have many projects i want to get to
#arcane#sevika#sevika x reader#sevika arcane#arcane sevika#lesbian#sevika arcane x reader#arcane netflix#wlw#need that#counciler sevika#sevika counciler
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