#and this did. this sickness has made me quite late for my period. like a week and a half-ish late. which was concerning

[simptasia]

so actually its not flu, it's covid

[watermelonlovershigh]

another sickfic/period prompt.. living together as friends/housemates and H finds her on the floor in the night feeling really sick from her period and sits with her + helps her out 🥲 changes her sheets for her, rubs her back and just holds her on the floor with a blanket round them. she's absolutely mortified with no choice but to be accepting of his help and all he wants to do is make her feel a little better :(

Period Cramps Are No Fun {part 1.} (housemate!harry series)

AN: thank you for this request. it's not exactly as the request said but i hope it's close enough. and i normally don't write harry as anything other than y/n's lover but made an exception with this story. please share your feedback with me and let me know how you liked it. enjoy. xoxoxoxo

This story contains: small period leak, severe period cramping, puking due to period cramps, crying due to pain and embarrassment, mentions of sex toys, comfort, fluff

{ housemate!harry - friend!harry - softrry - any harry era - au!harry }

word count- 1,956

You wake up in the middle of the night with severe period cramps and when your housemate and friend Harry happens to wake up for a glass of water, he sees you on the bathroom floor crying and has no choice but to be by your side and comfort you.

You were looking to be someones flatmate or housemate. You'd put offer after offer online and one day a guy named Harry accepted your offer. He had a pretty nice townhouse in London and from his brief description of himself, seemed to be an alright guy. You didn't want to move in with some lazy scumbag and you'd come to find Harry is the opposite of that.

He's probably the cleanest guy you've ever met. He enjoys keeping things organized and loves to keep the house smelling fresh with candles on every shelf and table. And you get along quite nicely. You'd even go as far to say over the six months of living in his townhouse that you've become friends.

Doing things friends do such as order take-out food together, watch movies on the couch, paint each others nails, share juicy details about your love lives (or lack thereof). Harry is a very fun guy to be around and if you're being honest with yourself, you'd say you've developed a slight crush on him. I mean how could you not? He has nearly all the characteristics of what every woman's ideal man would have. Physical characteristics and things through the actions he does.

Now even though you've became great friends over the six months of living here, there is still stuff you try to keep private. For instance, your periods. Harry's not dumb and obviously knows you get a period. Mainly from seeing your sanitary products under the bathroom sink or in the bin by the toilet. You don't try to keep your periods a secret, just private.

And though Harry knows you get periods, as do most females, he has yet to see the bad side of your periods. The periods that make you sob on the bathroom floor from the amount of pain your cramps are causing. The periods that make you nausous and throw up. Luckily those periods aren't a monthly thing but they do happen a few times a year for whatever reason and it sucks.

--------------------------

Late last night as you and Harry were watching a movie on his sofa, you began to feel crampy in your lower stomach. You asked if he could pause the film while you went to the bathroom down the hall and he agreed. And that's when you realized your period had came and you'd leaked. It's not a bad leak but it's enough for you to need to change your underwear and your shorts. Which the shorts barely had any blood on them but still called for a fresh pair.

Once you got yourself situated, you returned to the living room where the first thing Harry commented on is your changed clothes. "Did you change your shorts or somethin'?"

Quickly, you answered, "Yeah, my period started and I kinda leaked. Okay, you can press play on the movie."

Harry nodded sympathetically but followed your orders. He would have said something else to try and comfort you but knew you prefered to keep your periods more private. He doesn't understand why though. All women get periods. It's not something you should be ashamed of and he wished you'd understand that.

Now it's four in the morning and you're woken up to what feels like the worst period cramps of your whole life. Fuck, you scream in your head, it's gonna be one of those months. The longer you lay in bed the more nausous you began to feel from how painful your cramps are and that leads to you stumbling out of bed and rushing to the bathroom down the hall.

After what felt like an eternity, you made it to the bathroom and literally crawled on the floor over to the toilet. Now that you're in the bathroom you feel less nauseous but the pain is still in full force. That's when the tears start flowing. With your back against the wall and your knees up to your chest, sobs roll out your body as you fight against the waves of your uterus contracting to release its lining.

Harry is a heavy sleeper and usually don't wake up unless someone outwardly calls his name or pushes him awake. What wakes him up right now though is a dry mouth and a craving for a glass of water. So he gets out of bed and heads to the kitchen. But before he can even make it to the kitchen, he hears what sounds like crying coming from the hall bathroom.

Rushing over to the bathroom door, the sight before him breaks his heart. You didn't have the strength to shut the door so from the hall, Harry sees you sobbing in front of the toilet, back against the wall, and a hand clutching your stomach. "Oh, Y/n," he steps inside, "what's the matter?"

You slowly lift your head and the first thought in your mind was you didn't want him to see you like this. This was too embarrassing and you were too vulnerable at the moment. "Harry, go. Don't look at me."

Taken back by your words, Harry retorts in concern, "Not until you tell me what's wrong. Are you sick? Why're cryin'?"

Realising it's no use to deny your housemates help in your condition, you answer through the pain and tears, "My.....my cramps are SO bad. It hurts so much, H...Harry. *sob* It's making me feel so sick."

Harry frowns sympathetically and kneels down beside you in just his boxer briefs, which is his usual sleep attire. He would have covered up a bit more if he'd known this is what he was going to be walking into on his trip for a glass of water. As soon as he kneels down, you get the real urge to puke.

You push yourself off the wall and hang your head over the toilet. A harsh dry heave leaves your mouth that makes him cringe but nothing more, yet. Harry quickly scoots behind you and collects your hair with one hand and runs his other hand over your back. He doesn't know if you want to be touched right now but knows that when he's getting sick he finds that if someone rubs on his back it makes him feel a little better.

"Shhh," Harry whispers gently, "it's okay. You're okay. I've got you." He patiently waits until your feel better or actually get sick. After a few more jarring dry heaves, you end up throwing up in the toilet. And though the act feels like hell and is gross, you hope it will also relive the sickness your belly feels due to your period cramps.

You slowly lift your head up, taking deep breaths, and start crying again. This time not from the pain but from embarrassment. Harry's quick to ask, "Hey, what is it, Y/n? The cramps again?"

A little more coherently then the last time you spoke, you answer, "No. Just embarrassed. I threw up in front of you." That has Harry throwing his head back with a laugh.

"Y/n, I don't give a single fuck about you throwing up in front of me. Everyone gets sick from time to time. Just want to make sure you're alright. I hate that your period cramps are causin' you so much pain."

While subconsciously rubbing circles in your lower tummy, you ask desperately in a near whispered voice, "H, can you please go get me some pain medicine. It's in my bedside table drawer in my bedroom. Once I have that I think I'll feel better. At least for a couple of hours."

"Of course." Harry agrees and gets up off the bathroom floor to head to your bedroom. Once inside, he walks straight to your bedside table and opens the drawer to find your bottle of pain medication. While rummaging through to find the bottle, Harry tries to ignore the assortment of sex toys you have in there; bullet vibrator, dildo, clit sucker. Shit, this is the wrong time for him to get all hot and flustered at the thought of you using those under his roof.

He finally finds the bottle of pills and heads back to the bathroom where you still are. Within the time it took him to grab your medicine, you've stood up off the floor, flushed the toilet of course, and now sit on a closed toilet seat. Harry opens the bottle and asks, "How many? One or Two or....?"

"Two please." Harry hands you two tablets and grabs a paper cup used for rinsing your mouths out by the sink and fills it up with tap water. You carefully grab the small cup from his hands and take the pills with urgency, just wanting to be out of pain as soon as possible.

Once that's over with, Harry annonces, "Well, I'll let you get cleaned up in here and I'll be out there waiting for you."

"Okay, thank you." you respond gratefully. Harry really is the best housemate you could have asked for. While he's gone, you change out your tampon and brush the taste of vomit from your mouth. Then you exit the hall bathroom, ready to try and get a few more hours of sleep.

As you step inside your bedroom, you're taken back. Harry has managed to change your sheets and duvet, claiming a fresh pair will help you relax and hopefully sleep better. He's also set an actual glass of water on your nightstand, as well as plugged in his heating pad for you to use. "Harry....... what's all this?"

Nervously, because he doesn't know if this is all too much to do to someone who is just his housemate and friend, Harry replies, "Um, just wanted to make sure you come back to a comfy room. Hopefully you'll get a few more hours of sleep. And if you get thirsty or need to take more medicine, there's a glass of water there. Then my old heating pad that you can use across your tummy to also help with your cramps. Hope it's not too much."

You turn around with a small smile on your face and reach out to hug him. He's startled at first but soon relaxes and hugs you back. You hug for a minute before you break away first and mutter your appreciation. "No, this is great, Harry. Not too much at all. Thank you for your kindness tonight. And thank you for putting up with me in the bathroom. I know that wasn't a pretty sight. So yeah, just, thank you so much."

Looking down at you, Harry gets the urge to kiss you, but instead, says, "Y/n, it's no big deal, really. I would have helped anyone in that situation. Just want you to feel better s'all. Now get back into bed and around ten I'll wake up and make us a brunch. Sound good?"

"Yeah, sounds perfect." You crawl back into your bed that now has fresh sheets and maneuver the heating pad over your tummy. The pain medicine has begun to work but your uterus is still quite achy. As Harry turns around and heads out your door, you yell out, "Night." even though it's five in the morning by now.

"Night, Y/n." Harry speaks as well before slipping back into his bed across the hall. Now laying in your separate beds, all you can think about is how much you would have loved if Harry was in your bed cuddling you. And all Harry can think about is how much he wishes you were in his bed, so he could cuddle you. Maybe one day that day will come. But for now, you're just silly housemates that's turned into friends.

(PLEASE REBLOG BECAUSE WRITING IS NOT EASY AND IT'S FREE SO JUST DO IT)

(no more tags are allowed because i've hit my number limit. sorry : ( )

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My Masterlist Masterpost

Arguments and Confessions {part 2.} (housemate!harry series)

[iz-star]

Lately I've seen ppl saying that Zayne is for the eldest children, the parentified siblings, the kids who grew up knowing that their role wasn't about being kids but about taking care of the younger siblings and then became quite individualistic ppl who is used to do things on their own, to attend their needs on their own and not to expect anyone to bring them any kind of care.

As a parentified child, I can't bring myself to express how much I agree with this. I'm not exactly the eldest child, I'm the middle one, however, I'm the only girl, my older brother moved in with my father when we were young while I stayed with my mom, so the role to take care of my lil brother passed onto me while my brother, being the only child in my dad's home, grew up being spoiled and my lil brother, being the baby in my mom's house, grew up being spoiled. Needless to say again that, I'm the only girl and just bc of that I was the one who was always expected to learn how to take care of others, to learn how to cook, keep the house clean, learn what to do when my brothers were sick, and always was the one ppl acussed my lil brother with when he misbehaved.

If you notice, Zayne quite literally does all of that for you. In his most recent call he was offering MC to clean her house while she sleeps, since he likes to keep things tidied up and loves to help her and take care of her any chance he has (he knew she was tired from work). He also likes to cook for her, literally told her to look for some videogames to play together while he cooked dinner in his Doomsday card (and this is just one example), and of course he'd know what to do with you if you ever get sick, he's a Doctor! He's literally the only one out of the four guys who did his research about periods when he discovers how bad your cramps get, needless to say again that he is a Doctor (not to diminish the effort of the other guys cause they all were really lovely and they also did a quick research to try to help but let's accept that Zayne's career gives him advantage)

This made me come to the realization that Zayne not only is a caregiver but he (oh so perfectly) takes on the role that has always been forcefully given to women and he's not any less man for that, I'd say it's totally the opposite, it makes him look even more manly bc you know he can take care of himself just as well as any fuctional adult, while irl we women expect men to be kinda useless at housework bc they're not socialized into those roles.

(NOT saying that all men are useless at doing house chores like cooking or cleaning but stating that women have to expect that any man you meet might be)

Of course all of the guys are perfect functional adults who can take care of themselves and take care of you, whatever you need they would bring it to you or do it for you and if they don't know how to do it, they'd figure it out, they all only crave to have a soft, lovely domestic life with you and take care of you (Zayne's Doomsday card, Xavier's 21 days card, Sylus myth, etc)

However, we can't deny that the role of caregiver has always resonated more with Zayne and that is bc... he was also a mature child.

He wasn't exactly a parentified sibling, but for eldest parentified kids, to act more mature than they're expected to be comes with the role. Zayne was a quiet child and his parents were Doctors, if he's already quite busy with the job you can imagine how much time his parents dedicated to him, he probably learned to be self-sufficient at a pretty young age bc his parents were busy, he also understood how important was their job and has stated how inspiring it was to him, which probably gave him this need to learn how to take care of others and himself, before allowing adults to take care of him. The narrative might be a bit different but the main point still stands, he grew up thinking that he needed to take care of others and handle himself -his physical and emotional needs- on his own. He's also a quite individualistc person and as any mature kid, didn't have a healthy development and growth, jumping to adulthood too quickly that his childhood is missed and with it, his social skills are cut off in half.

That's the initial phase of his character development: when he starts to get into what he's missed. Ever since I started to play the game, Zayne never gave me the vibes of a cold or emotionally constipated man, totally the opposite, when I picked up on his demeanor, he gave me this feeling that he was one of those characters that feels too much and too deeply, they just don't show it, why? Because they are not used to show their emotions and have never done it, literally don't know how to loosen up or don't even know that they have to do it.

Remember that anecdote where he tried to joke with his interns while in the middle of a surgery and they all got scared of him, misunderstanding his joke for a reprimand. No wonder why Zayne got along better with the old man who didn't want to take his meds. When I started to interact with him, he didn't come across as cold to me at all, stoic is a good way to describe his personality but not to describe the issue. Zayne's behaviour was never cold, he was stiff.

You can tell that at first there were a lot of misunderstandings between him and MC and the way he shows how much he cares that she missed. Parentified children know that the best way of showing affection is through actions. We are forced to mature too quick that we end up missing the phase where we develop our social skills, that's why for us actions are better than words. That's also why Zayne admits that he was never good at words.

(Of course I also have the headcanon that he's autistic, but that's a topic for another day).

Entering in a romantic relationship, even tho actions are always a good way to show affection, communication is key if you want for it to work and that's a development we can see with Zayne and MC through his cards. Like, in the case of the ENG va, I've seen a lot of ppl saying that Zayne's voice in his early cards sounds too robotic and while I agree that it can be bc the VA was starting to get into the role, it could also be bc the more he learns to communicate, the less stiff and robotic he sounds. Not only the tone of his voice or locution but also the words he uses to express himself and his feelings. Before, whenever he wanted to state if he missed MC or how important she was for him, he would talk of her in third person (he still does it sometimes bc he seems to love role play lol) but for important things, he's learned to be more straightforward ("You occupied my every thought" "I need you, I have never denied that" "You're not allowed to go without saying goodbye" "There's a lot of things I want to give you but I only have a piece of jade" "We should watch the moon together, my love"). At learning to show his feelings not only by actions but verbally as well, he allowed himself to go back to that phase where the development of his social skills stayed in pause. That's why the more he's developed this side of him, he's also allowed himself to become childish from time to time, bc a childhood where we are allowed to be kids is important in order for us to grow into ourselves. Zayne, alongside smart kids, mature kids, eldest parentified children missed part of this phase and of course it does have consecuences in our adulthood.

That is why, in part, for me Zayne feels so healing. He would take care of you, of course he would without you having to ask it of him but he also wants to be taken care of, even if he won't admit it openly. You can tell how guilty he felt when he told MC that she went through a lot of planning in order to prepare his birthday party while he didn't do anything and how she picked on it to the point to have to clarify that he should let ppl to take care of him too and after hearing that, the first thing he did was to ask her to feed him cake. In the Misty Invasion event, when he and MC are in the escape room and he keeps on falling bc of his shoes, he allows himself to get a bit playful and asks MC "you'll help me, right?" while tugging her sleve trying to act cute. In his Doomsday card, he did a biiit of a tantrum when MC didn't allow him to get his biscuits (and he got them anyway ahaha). He's starting to showcase all those childish traits he didn't allow himself to show when he was a kid because his relationship with MC has turned into a safe place to do so and of course he wants her to do it too. That's why in his last 4 stars card "Dream revisited" he talks about the importance of indulging in our childish side and how part of it is to be honest with your feelings without worrying about what others might tell.

To see him loosen up heals that part of me that was still recovering of the things I had to put up in my childhood. My personality is definitely not like Zayne's, like at all, but to see his writing is something I can relate to and how his development is about healing this neglected part of him feels so therapeutic. To think that he'd be the kind of man who understands how much you need to be taken care of and would do it for you happily while you are on the same side of the coin and would happily take care of him too but not this time bc it's what it's expected of you or bc he's useless at certain things, but because he needs it too but won't ask for it even tho he's earned it too, because you understand part of the loneliness that comes with being a caregiver but never the one who is in the reciving end. Zayne knows of your capabilities and knows that you are perfectly capable of taking care of yourself but he also knows the comforting and healing feeling that comes with someone who tells you "I know you can do it but let me do it for you". Because he has always been perfectly capable of taking care of himself but who has told him the same words? Who has offered to take care of him? To accept someone taking care of you is to accept to be loved. To understand that to love is to take care of your loved person is to understand one of the many missions of what to love is. And believe me, he's pretty smart that I'm sure he's already picked on that.

To create a safe space to not to be perfect is what a relationship is about. That's why he indulges MC a lot, let's her sleep while he's willing to stay up late to buy tickets for their new travel, he would indulge into waking up late with her just to cuddle and take things slowly. To be childish because when we are children is when we are at our most vulnerable and we must be taken care of, to be an adult is not to get rid off of this need but to understand how important it still is.

Gods, I love Zayne so much.

[andreafmn]

Ours | Derek Hale Oneshot

Word Count: 3.5K Requested by @gracelynn318: "Derek or Stiles finding out that their significant other (the reader) is pregnant and they try to keep it secret for as long as possible" Warnings: pregnancy, pregnancy symptoms (vomiting, nausea, fatigue)

Summary: Derek Hale and (Y/N) have been together for a long time, and they didn't know something was missing from their lives until it arrived unexpectedly. And all they want to do is revel in the moment for as long as they can, by themselves.

A/N: this story follows 0% of canon, just the character's names. will admit. I am a horrible Teen Wolf fan that has yet to see season 5 and 6, and I've also yet to watch the movie. So, definitely an AU 😬also, be on the lookout for tonight or tomorrow for another surprise regarding this request 😉😉

Derek had noticed the change long before (Y/N) had. Long before she knew why she spent her days expelling her meals down the toilet drain, before she understood why her body craved more food than she could keep down, before she had even noticed that a month had passed and her period had not arrived. 

It came late at night. The soft putter of a heartbeat that felt so far that it could have been confused with the sound of rain against the pavement. They had been lying in bed, the exhaustion of living in Beacon Hills the only thing they needed to crash at night. But the sound had been bothering Derek. The continuous rhythm didn’t allow the wolf to lose himself in much-needed slumber. The sound kept him up, especially from where it was coming from. 

“(Y/N),” he whispered, running his hand up and down her arm to wake her. “(Y/N), baby, wake up.” 

“Mm,” she groaned groggily, cuddling to his body tightly. “Go to sleep, Derek.” 

 “(Y/N), I gotta ask you something. Wake up.” 

“We can talk in the morning,” she whined. “I’m tired right now.” 

“It’s important,” he chuckled softly. “I need your complete focus.” 

With a loud exhale, (Y/N) sat up in bed, rubbing the sleep from her eyes. The sheet fell from her torso, and the coldness of the night made her skin erupt in goosebumps. She rarely got angry with Derek, but she was coming quite close at that very moment. “You better have a good reason to wake me, Der,” she said. “I’m so tired I might just put off killing you until tomorrow.” 

“Listen, please,” he said. “When was the last time you got your period?” 

“What?” the girl questioned. “You seriously just woke me up to ask about my cycle?” 

“More or less. Just answer. Did you get it last month?” 

It took her a moment to think. The grogginess of being woken up still clutched her mind, and recounting the past weeks was hard. But her body startled awake as she realized she had not gotten her shark week in a month and a half. That fact alone did not scare her. She had always been irregular, and in moments of stress, it was more likely than not that she skipped a cycle. The problem was that not only had she missed a period, she had been feeling sick for the past three weeks. And the math was not too hard to do. 

“I-I didn’t,” she stammered. “W-why are you asking?”

“Oh my god,” he answered. “Oh my god!” 

“What? What’s wrong?” 

Instead of answering, Derek pressed his ear to her stomach until he could hear the sound clearly. Alongside (Y/N)’s quickening heartbeat, a quieter, steady pattern joined. It was too indistinguishable now. “You’re pregnant,” he said. So quiet he wasn’t sure if he had said it at all. “There’s a baby in there. Our baby.” 

“Pregnant…” (Y/N) could not believe the word even as it rolled out of her tongue. “I can’t believe it.” 

“We’ll go to Deaton tomorrow, but I’m certain. I can hear their heart beating in there.” 

(Y/N)’s mind was reeling. Pregnant, she thought to herself. The word felt foreign. So did her body. Derek had noticed the change before her. How could she not have known that a life was growing inside her? How could she ever be a mother when she did not even know herself?  

Without realizing it, tears fell down her cheeks. She felt weak and panicked. The strong woman that had faced the biggest dangers and far scarier monsters trembled with the thought of a life depending on her for survival. It was one thing to volunteer to protect the members of the pack. They were old enough to fend for themselves. It was another to be responsible for the life and survival of another human. 

“Hey,” Derek called. His voice sounded like it was underwater. So far away that she could barely hear it. “Baby, what’s going on?” 

She hadn’t noticed that she had stood from the bed and was pacing around their room. Her breathing was shallow, and her chest heaved as she took in short breaths, trying to steady herself. Tears kept falling faster than she could wipe them away. They warmed her cheeks before the air turned them cold. It was the only thing that grounded her. 

And Derek. Always Derek. 

He had gotten off the bed, and within a second, he was wrapping his arms around her. The warmth from his skin calmed her. It brought her senses back to the moment, steadying her rampant heart. 

“What’s wrong, (Y/N)?” he spoke into the crook of her neck. “Tell me what I can do to make it better.”  

“I’m scared, Derek,” she sighed, tightening her grip around him. “A baby. Here. Now.”  

“Why not here?” Derek smiled, his hands running through her hair. “Why not now? With you as their mother, that baby could be born underground, and they would be the luckiest child in the world.” 

“How could you be so sure?” (Y/N) cried. “I forget things all the time, I’m clumsy, I can barely redeem myself when it comes to fighting. If it weren’t for my weapons, I wouldn’t bring much to the fight against our enemies. What good would I be to protect a child? How could I be entrusted with their entire upbringing?” 

“Oh, (Y/N). You’re far more valuable than what you bring to a fight.” His hands cradled her face, the green of his eyes boring into hers. “You are the most caring person I know. If it weren’t for you, I would have killed half of the pack by now. You’re smart. You’re funny. And if anyone should be terrified of becoming a parent, it should be me.” 

“Come on,” she scoffed jokingly, her tears finally subsiding. “You’d be an amazing father. Temperamental, but great nonetheless.” 

“Well, I’m glad it at least got you laughing,” he grinned. “How about we just take this one day at a time, baby? Make sure we take things slow. Tell people on our own time. Instead of going to the doctor, we buy a pregnancy test at the pharmacy; confirm what I already know.” 

“But if you can hear the heartbeat, I am sure all the other wolves will, too,” she worried. “How am I supposed to take things as they come when everyone will know the second they come here?” 

“Then, I won’t let anyone back here,” he smiled. “I’ll have them meet me at the warehouse or at Argent’s place. We can say you’re sick with something and won’t be there. Or that you went to visit family out of state –I don’t know. The point is, we can do this, baby. I know we can.” 

“Well, I do admire your tenacity,” she chuckled, kissing his lips softly and hugging him again. “One day at a time, right?” 

“One day at a time.” 

And it worked. For two months, at least. 

That very morning, he went out and returned home with five pregnancy tests and a bouquet of flowers. And five minutes later, they all showed an array of dark pink plus signs and the word Pregnant on them. Just like that, it had been confirmed. A new baby Hale would be coming to Beacon Hills in eight months. 

They were excited. Of course, they were. But they couldn’t help the terror that overtook them as well. Bringing a new life into their world was a scary thought. The fact that anyone with knowledge of their child could use them against them was terrifying. Still, they wanted that baby more than anything they had wanted before. 

The child that grew inside of (Y/N) was the tangible representation of their love. Evidence that everything life had thrown at them had not been able to push them apart, not for a second. They had been through hell and back, always together, and they had come out of every single occasion stronger than before. That baby was the final piece to their equation. 

The next day, they went to the first available OB/GYN about an hour from the town. The doctor confirmed what they already knew, adding the new fact that she was around seven weeks along. The process was more than uncomfortable, but the result was well worth it. A tiny blob appeared on the screen, and the sound of a rapid heartbeat filled their ears. It made tears well up in their eyes. That tiny thing would soon turn into their baby. And even though it didn’t even have a distinguishable shape, they had fallen in love with them. 

At first, they thought they would pass the first trimester in bliss. That they would only grow more and more excited as the days passed. And they would have. Had it not been for all the symptoms that overtook (Y/N). 

She spent most of her day hunched over the toilet seat, emptying whatever was in her stomach. Even when she thought she could keep food down, an hour or two later, she would be in the bathroom letting it out. And if she wasn’t vomiting, she was ransacked with deep waves of nausea. Then, her breasts started to swell, painful jabs running through her every few days. In addition to heartburn and fatigue, it made her question just how worth it a baby could be. 

But Derek had been attentive as ever, if not a little overbearing. He had kept his promise of moving where the meetings were held, claiming that the loft was under renovation while (Y/N) was out of town for a bit. It wasn’t a complete lie, though. He used his downtime to clean up around the house and fix things he had put off for far too long. 

He fed her saltine crackers and electrolyte drinks, rubbed her back, and held her hair, and he loved her. Every day and every night, he loved her. Even when he had to stay up cleaning the bathroom or he had to carry her back to bed. He loved her through everything. 

“You did this to me,” she had groaned one day. “All I want is to eat chips and pickles, but I can’t keep anything down.”

“I know, and I’m sorry,” he responded, drawing circles on her back as he cradled her body in the bathroom. “Hopefully, in a week, it’ll subside. You’re almost out of the first trimester, and the morning sickness should get better.”

“Stop reading pregnancy books,” she whined. “By the time this bun is fully baked, you’ll know more than me.” 

“Isn’t that a good thing?” Derek chuckled but swallowed his laughter as (Y/N) gifted him an angry scowl. “Okay, okay. I think the ten books I’ve read will do.”

(Y/N) remained quiet and threw her head against his chest. His arms snaked around her body, a comfort she allowed herself to sink into. The warmth from his body felt nice against her shivering skin. But just his presence was enough to comfort her, regardless of the words she spoke. 

“I’m sorry I’ve been snappy these past few days,” she sighed. Her eyes closed as he wrapped his arms tighter around her, her head falling against his chest. “I love this baby, and I love you, but I don’t love puking all the time. And peeing all the time. And being tired all the time. I want to fast forward to the next few months.” 

“Hey, you can be snappy with me all you want. I can take it,” he said with a smile. “I will be right here every step of the way because I love you. More than you could ever know.” 

“Even when I’m all big and bloated?” (Y/N) chuckled, her hands falling onto the growing small bump. “They're already trying to deform my body.” 

“Well, at least you’re glowing.”

“No,” she sighed. “That’s just sweat.”

“Then you look beautiful covered in sweat,” he laughed. “Now, let’s get you to bed. Alright?” 

(Y/N) could only nod and wrap her arms around his neck as he carried her back to bed, laying right next to her. Even if he couldn’t take this discomfort away, he was trying his best to make things better for her. 

Another week passed, and things started to shift. The woman would only occasionally feel the need to throw up her food, but the constant nausea and heartburn had subsided. And once (Y/N) saw her baby's small fingers and feet in their 12-week ultrasound, she knew it had all been worth it. 

She also knew they couldn’t keep the secret to themselves any longer. 

The pack had become angsty. Wondering when (Y/N) would be coming back from her supposed trip. Two and a half months was far too long to just be with family. With no imminent danger in sight, they had too much time to check up on everyone else. 

“I think it’s time we tell them,” (Y/N) told Derek as they watched a movie. She cradled her small bump, something she had unconsciously started to do. “We’re almost at the five-month mark, and I think it’ll be too hard to hide.”

“Do we really?” he groaned. “I can just keep you hidden here until the nine months are up. They don’t have to know a thing.”

“You would really keep the mother of your child sequestered in these walls until I give birth?”

“Maybe even more,” he shrugged. “Maybe I’ll keep you here forever.”

“You’re quite funny, Mr. Hale,” she chuckled. “But they are our friends —our family. They deserve to know there’s one more person to protect.”

“I’ve just really liked this time,” he sighed. His chin rested on her shoulder, his beard tickling her exposed skin. “You know, just you and me. Basking in the time we won’t have once everyone knows and once the baby is here. It’s all I’ve ever wanted, (Y/N). A family of my own, that I can love and protect. A home that’s ours.”

“And we will have that,” she smiled. “We’re just allowing more love in. The best part, at the end of the day, we can just kick them out.” 

“When you put it that way,” he laughed before kissing her lips, savoring her. “Alright, fine. We’ll tell them next Saturday.” 

“Thank you, Der. It’s gonna be great.”

And it should have. 

Had it not been for the million things that went wrong that week. The A/C was busted for a total of four days, a pipe burst in one of the bathrooms, the paint they had ordered for the nursery had been put on back order, and the Camaro had to be taken into the shop for tuning. Thing after thing occurred, piling onto an already stressful time. 

Nevertheless, the week came and went. And before either of them knew it, Saturday had rolled in. 

To say (Y/N) was nervous was an understatement. For some reason, anxiety was taking over her body. Its claws dug themselves deep into her being. It made her veins run cold and her heart speed. She didn’t know how any of them would react to the baby. Even to the fact that they had kept it from them for so long. And although Derek tried his best to calm her worries, they had already made a home inside her head. 

“God, what if they hate the fact that I’m pregnant?” (Y/N) worried as she laid out more food than necessary on the kitchen counter. “What if they find the idea of bringing a child into a messed up world to be the worst thing ever?” 

“Who cares, baby? It’s our child,” Derek tried to reassure. “We are the ones that will be raising them. The ones to protect them. Always and forever.

“But they say it takes a village, Der. And that is one thing that I know is true. I mean, at some point, we will need their help.”

“And you really think we won’t have it,” he said, rounding the kitchen island. His hands traveled her body and, in one swift move, had her sitting on the counter. At eye level, he could stare directly into her glossy eyes. “We have been through everything with these people. Even the ones I hated at the beginning have become my closest friends. I’m 100% sure they’ll be thrilled that you’re pregnant.”

He snaked his hand to her chin, pulling her down for a soft kiss. But once their lips made contact, it was too much of a temptation to keep it chaste. Soon enough, their tongues danced together, and their hands pulled each other closer. It left them breathless and excited, wanting —needing more. 

“Uh, we can come back if it’s a bad time,” Stiles’ voice rang through the apartment, startling them apart. “But you guys did invite us here. So, it’s kind of bad on you guys.” 

“No. Yes! I mean, it’s not a bad time,” (Y/N) chuckled as she jumped off the counter, hiding her stomach with a comically large bowl. “We just got carried away, I guess.”

“The one day they decide to show up on time,” Derek grumbled under his breath. “Come in, why don’t you?” 

Before they knew it, the apartment was filled with werewolves, a banshee, other werehumans and supernatural beings, and their very own abominable snowman. The couple remained in the kitchen as everyone situated themselves, whispering under their breath what the best way to go about it would be. 

“Not to be pushy,” Peter called out. “But if you guys only called us over for some food, I have better things to do than hang around children all day.”

“You do know we’re all well above the age of eighteen, right?” Isaac retorted. “It’s been quite some time since we have been children.” 

“You’re still younger than me, correct?” 

“Well, yeah…” 

“Then children,” he said. “So, what is it? Am I staying, or am I leaving?” 

“Settle down, Peter,” Derek responded, biting back the urge to roll his eyes. “We do have something important to announce to everyone and would very much appreciate it if you just listen.” 

“Fine,” he frowned. “But you have ten minutes of my time before I decide to leave.” 

“All we need is a couple of seconds, really,” (Y/N) said with a smile on her face so sweet no one dared say anything else. “I’m sure you heard that I was away for a while and that we were undergoing renovations here. Which, as you can tell by the lack of changes, was not true. Derek lied on my behalf and moved any necessary meetings out of our home because I needed this time to myself as I underwent a sort of change in my life.” 

“Oh my god, you’re dying,” Stiles worried. “Is it cancer? Is it at least treatable?” 

“It’s nothing like that, Stiles,” she reassured with a soft chuckle. “But thank you for worrying. It’s just as life-changing but not necessarily life-threatening. At least, I’m hoping it’s not. But you could never be sure until…” 

“(Y/N), you’re rambling,” Derek whispered in her ear. “It’s nothing bad.”

“You’re pregnant!” Lydia exclaimed, a bright smile adorning her face. 

“How would you know that?” Malia questioned. “I thought you predicted death, not new life.” 

“It’s common sense,” she shrugged, disregarding the comment. “She’s been hiding for months. The place smells like paint, and nothing in this room is painted, so I can only assume it’s a bedroom. And she hasn’t stepped out from behind the island that just so happens to cover her stomach. Two and two always makes four.” 

“Except on this occasion, it made three,” (Y/N) chuckled. She walked around the counter and joined Derek’s side, her bump finally on display for everyone to see. “But, yes, Lydia, I am pregnant. Almost five months now.” 

A shower of ‘holy crap’s and ‘oh my god’s rained over them as, one by one, the pack got to their feet and hugged the couple in congratulations. They rejoiced together and started planning how to spoil little baby Hale even before they were born. Every single person was as excited and overjoyed as Derek and (Y/N) were, anxious for when the baby was born. 

Well, except Peter. 

“Yeah, next time you have these kinds of news, little nephew, make sure to make it an email,” he grumbled, looking at his watch. “Can’t believe I canceled evening plans for a pregnancy announcement.” 

“We love you too, Peter,” (Y/N) laughed. “Maybe if you leave now, you can still make it to whatever it is that you had planned.” 

“I’m already here,” he shrugged as he sat back down on the sofa. “Might as well take advantage of the free food.” 

“Ignore him,” Derek told her, wrapping his arms around her waist. “He can’t take this moment away from us. It’s all ours.” 

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[clarisse0o]

Camp Wiegman-Part 73

Lucy Bronze x Ona Batlle

Alternative Universe: Military School

Words: 5K

Masterlist

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Thursday, March 24; 8:30 AM – Camp Wiegman

I’ve never seen such organization. Mr. Johnson has planned everything down to the smallest detail. Everything except maybe the bus being late. Still, we know the time to leave is approaching quickly. Our management teacher, along with Lucy and Ingrid, are our chaperones for this trip, which is seeming more and more boring. Through a small note, we found out that the company we’re visiting isn’t even in Manchester, so we’ve got quite a drive ahead. I made sure to pack my headphones for the trip after confirming with Lucy that it was allowed. I have a feeling I won’t enjoy any of this. The company selected is an industrial one. To be honest, none of this interests me at all. Seeing that nothing was happening for a while, I slipped out of the group standing by the grills to go see Lucy.

"Are we leaving soon? This is getting long."

"I know. The driver’s on his way. Your teacher just spoke to him on the phone."

"Okay," I sighed.

"Come on, don’t complain, you’re getting out of a whole day of classes."

I shrugged. Honestly, I think I’d rather stay here, given what’s waiting for us. Lucy laughed at my lack of enthusiasm.

"Oh, come on, it could be cool. It’s interesting to see the world of cars."

"Speak for yourself."

From her perspective, it’s definitely different. She really likes motor vehicles. At least there’s one person who’s going to enjoy this trip.

"Go join the others, we’ll be leaving soon."

I sighed but did as told, heading back toward my friends. At least she was right. After a few more minutes, the bus finally arrived, much to everyone’s relief, especially the teachers, given how my class was starting to get restless. After one last headcount, we were finally able to board the bus. As for me, I hung back with my friends, as well as Lucy and Ingrid. We figured everyone would rush to get the back seats, and that’s exactly what happened. Johnson had to shout to be heard over the commotion. Poor guy, he’s going to lose his voice at this rate. Our turn came, and the only thing that mattered to me was sitting near my girlfriend, which luckily, I did. I sat with Alessia, just behind Ingrid and Lucy, but in front of Lotte and Leah. At least we were sure we wouldn’t be bothered. Our teachers sat in the same row as Lucy. She took the window seat, which was fine by me. At least I knew my management teacher wouldn’t bug her. I’d already noticed he’d been trying to cozy up to her since this morning. I’m not jealous—okay, maybe just a little. He did one last headcount before giving the driver the green light. The noise in the bus was deafening. I was going to get a headache before we even reached the factory. I was already not feeling great anyway.

"Sorry for the delay. Traffic is terrible this morning," the driver explained. "There was an accident on the road I took. It was too late to turn back."

"It’s not your fault," my teacher sighed. "But this means it’ll take us longer to get there. We’ll probably hit rush hour."

Wonderful! That was the last thing I wanted to hear. My exaggerated sigh made Alessia laugh.

"Wow, you’re really not excited, huh?"

"Next time, I’ll fake being sick."

"Not in your wildest dreams," I heard Lucy say from the front.

I made silly faces, making my friend laugh, but it caught my girlfriend’s attention. She raised an eyebrow, but I just gave her an angelic smile in return. Luckily for me, she quickly gave up.

"You didn’t wake up on the right side of the bed, did you?"

I shrugged. Not really, no. I got my period this morning, and it’s been a while since I’ve had such bad cramps. That’s not something I was about to tell her, though. If this was the price for restarting my whole system down there, then so be it, although I could have done without it. I sighed, leaning my head against the window. This trip was going to be long—I could feel it.

"You’re really pale. Are you sure you’re okay?" Alessia asked.

She placed her hand on my forehead to check my temperature. Her comment seemed to alert Lucy, who turned around again.

"I’m fine," I sighed. "Just feeling a bit off."

"What’s wrong?" Lucy asked. "You look like you’re about to be sick."

Now that she mentioned it, my stomach wasn’t the only thing bothering me. I shrugged in response.

"Do you mind switching seats, Alessia?"

"No, not at all," she replied.

Within minutes, Lucy was sitting next to me. She touched my forehead, but I didn’t think she’d find anything. I didn’t feel like I had a fever.

"Did you eat anything this morning?"

"Yeah."

I blushed, looking down at my hands. I didn’t know how to explain what was wrong without saying it out loud.

"Does something hurt?"

There it was—the opening I needed.

"My stomach, but it’s not because of what I ate..."

She raised an eyebrow at my confident tone. Then, I saw the light bulb go off in her head.

"Oh. I see. Did you take anything?"

"No, I didn’t have anything on me..."

"Okay, hang on."

She bent down to rummage through her bag. All I wanted to do was collapse onto her, but we both knew that wasn’t possible. Johnson, who was sitting a row ahead, started asking Lucy about me, but she quickly brushed him off, saying she could handle it. Usually, when my periods started like this during my teenage years, the pain would escalate, which was what worried me. I still had cramps sometimes, but not this intense. Normally, you couldn’t tell by looking at me, and I rarely complained.

"Here, take this."

She handed me a pill along with a bottle of water. I swallowed it without even asking what it was, especially now that even my head was starting to ache. I would have taken anything to make it stop.

"You’re usually not in this much pain, are you?"

"No."

I blushed again. I didn’t want her to think it was her fault. She just nodded.

"Rest up. We’ve got at least an hour before we get there, thanks to the traffic."

I nodded and leaned my head against the window. It wasn’t the best idea, considering the way it was shaking my head, but I didn’t have much choice.

"Don’t be silly. Come here—it’ll be more comfortable."

She surprised me by inviting me to rest my head on her shoulder. I wasn’t going to complain. It was clearly much more pleasant. With that, I closed my eyes, hoping the medicine would kick in.

Thursday, March 24; 9:50 AM – At the company 

"And here we are," my teacher announced.

We had just arrived at the company, a full half-hour behind schedule. I was cold. Lucy had woken me up just before we arrived, and my body was struggling to warm up again. All I wanted was to be in my girlfriend’s arms. I hated being so close to her yet feeling so far away.

"I expect you all to behave impeccably during this visit. This is one of the few trips that’s been approved by our school, so don’t make the principal or me regret it."

Oddly, everyone had calmed down. I’m not sure what had happened, but the last thing I remembered was the incessant noise of my classmates, which had kept me from sleeping properly. Lucy was by my side, and I don’t think she was planning on going anywhere. She was so sweet to care this much about me.

"As I mentioned in class, you'll be divided into four groups of six or seven people. We'll assign the groups, and then we can begin."

Everyone is called one by one. Lucy kept me by her side, assuring me that we would spend the day together. To be honest, I tried hard to get her to reveal who was on her list, like Alessia, but surprisingly, she didn’t let anything slip. So, it would be a surprise. The surprise didn’t last long though. Ingrid was the first to form her group, and Alessia and Lotte were in it. I realized Mr. Johnson had purposely separated us. My other classmates weren’t with their usual groups either. Well, at least he ensured we were with someone we knew. Then it was Lucy’s turn. I was right—Leah was in my group, along with a few others I barely knew. I don’t tend to talk to many others, but being with Leah is fine. Though she didn’t seem too pleased, judging by the sigh she let out as she joined us.

"Try to contain your joy, Leah," Lucy teased.

"I’m doing my best," she replied, rolling her eyes, making my girlfriend do the same.

Some people laughed, but it didn’t last long. Lucy commands respect and asked us to form a line, two by two. Mr. Johnson, who had another group beside him, couldn’t help but comment.

"Well. You’re a woman who knows how to command respect."

I’m going to punch him soon. Lucy, noticing my frustration, discreetly grabbed my wrist to stop me from saying anything.

"The important thing is that it’s mutual," she retorted.

Her reply made him look away, and she let go of my wrist. I hated how he acted like he had the right to flirt with her. She really needs to put him in his place. If she could tell him she’s taken and mention she prefers women, that would be perfect. But, unfortunately, according to her, it doesn’t need to go that far. Maybe I should show her what it feels like to be hit on in front of your partner and not be able to do anything about it... My period is really messing with my emotions. I took a deep breath to calm myself. Lucy gave me a soft smile as she stepped ahead of Leah and me.

"Alright, we can head in now," announced my teacher once the groups were formed.

"Let’s go, and quietly," Lucy instructed when it was our turn.

Without resistance, the group obeyed. We entered, and to my surprise, the interior was quite welcoming. I had expected something much more industrial, given the environment. We were greeted by a man in his thirties. He spoke briefly with our teacher before giving an introduction. I realized he was the director. Given his age, it was likely a family business, and that’s exactly how he introduced it. Since some were already taking notes, I followed suit, fighting off the headache that was starting to form. I wasn’t sure I’d make it through the day. Lucy seemed to understand how I felt, but apart from a small, sympathetic smile, she couldn’t do much.

"Alright, now that the introductions are over, we’ll begin the tour."

I started to panic. I hadn’t written much compared to Leah’s notebook. She smiled at me and said she’d share her notes with me at the end of the day if I wanted.

"We’ve divided you into four groups. We’ll be exploring the different departments of the company. There’s the administration, the design office, the factory itself, and the logistics section."

I jotted down what he listed. Those would be the four key areas. Based on the questionnaire we had received, I began to understand much more. He wanted us to grasp the management aspects of a business.

"Each area is vital to the smooth running of a company, so it doesn’t matter in which order we visit them. I’ll personally be following one of the groups today. The others will be guided by my colleagues. I hope you enjoy the tour of my company."

You could really sense how proud he was of his business. I could easily see Lucy reacting the same way someday. She was about to join the other instructors, probably to decide which group would go where, but I stopped her.

"I think I need to use the restroom before we start all this..."

My stomach was still hurting, and the medicine hadn’t worked. She nodded.

"I’ll ask about it."

I watched as she walked off to speak with the director. And there was another man staring at her a bit too much. I’m really going to lose it with all these guys. 

"Still not feeling any better?"

"No," I sighed.

I glanced at Leah, who was fidgeting beside me, her hands stuffed into her pockets. I could tell something was bothering her. I was glad to be with her today. Since I started dating Lucy, she’d distanced himself, and I had to admit it hurt a little. She was one of the first I’d managed to befriend since I came here. She’s a really good person, even if she doesn’t believe it himself.

"Everything okay?"

"Not really... I feel bad."

"Why?"

"I wasn’t fair to you and your girlfriend."

"Oh... Leah..."

"I feel guilty for judging you too quickly. You two seem really solid, unlike what I thought."

I smiled softly. For her to admit her mistake, she must have given it a lot of thought. I was surprised, but happy at the same time. Maybe not all was lost. She really cared about our friendship after all.

"I don’t hold it against you, don’t worry."

"I was thinking, maybe we could plan something together, with her, sometime."

"Yeah, we could do something at the end of the year if you want. I don’t think she’ll be up for it before then."

She nodded understandingly. She finally dared to look at me after all that. She tilted her head, narrowing her eyes.

"Are you sure you’re okay? You really don’t look good."

I shook my head. I’d been trying to hide it, but I was on the verge of vomiting right there. I barely opened my mouth.

"Hey, Bronze," Leah called out. "She’s about to throw up."

Thank goodness she understood. Immediately alarmed, my girlfriend pulled me into the restroom. Luckily, the door was just behind us all along, and I hadn’t even noticed. She barely had time to open a stall and save my hair before I threw up my breakfast into the toilet. The scene felt like déjà vu. She sighed as she tied my hair back with a hair tie.

"Do you feel any better?"

I didn’t even have time to answer before it happened again. All Lucy could do was rub my back. I’d never been this sick before, and I was starting to wonder if it was really my period causing this.

"Okay... You can’t do the tour like this."

"Is everything alright in here?"

I sat on the bathroom floor as this voice echoed. I must have looked pathetic. Lucy grabbed some paper to wipe my mouth before flushing the toilet as she stood up. I looked over at the man I recognized as the director.

"No," Lucy answered. "She’s been feeling sick since this morning, and it seems to be getting worse."

My stomach was hurting so much I had tears in my eyes. I held it with my arms, but it didn’t help. I didn’t dare look at them either. I preferred to stare in the opposite direction to avoid them seeing me like this.

"It’s been decided that I’ll lead your group through the tour, so I suggest going ahead without you."

"I’m not sure that’s the best solution. Students can be difficult sometimes."

"Oh, I don’t doubt it," he laughed. "I have four kids and I run a business, so I don’t think six students are going to give me much trouble."

Hearing that, I noticed the wedding ring on his finger. I felt foolish for thinking he was eyeing Lucy earlier. Now that I saw him up close, he also seemed slightly older than I had initially thought. He looked to be in his thirties, but probably closer to forty.

"You can’t leave her alone, so take care of her. Maybe she’ll feel better, and you can join us later. We’re visiting two departments this morning, and then it’ll be time for lunch," he explained.

"I need to check with Mr. Johnson first."

"It’s already been arranged. He agreed to this."

"Alright... Well, thank you. Hopefully, we’ll join you later."

"My pleasure. Good luck," he said before leaving.

Once we were alone, Lucy crouched down in front of me again. I felt better, or at least relieved, but my stomach pain wasn’t going away. Lucy gently cupped my face.

"Are you sure it’s your period? This seems a bit extreme."

I shrugged. I wasn’t sure anymore.

- "The pain isn't just in my lower stomach..." I admitted after noticing it.

- "Alright," she murmurs. "I'll call the school. Maybe you’ve eaten something that didn't sit well, and if that's the case, you’re probably not the only one."

- "I had the same thing as usual," I complained.

- "I know, but you never know. I'll be right back."

She kissed the top of my head before leaving to ask for a phone. Apparently, she didn’t have hers. I groaned when she left. Judging by the silence, I assumed the others had already left the lobby. Something like this always has to happen to me, especially during my only class trip. I'd pay good money just to get a hug from Lucy right now. I waited a while, and during that time, my stomach continued to rumble. Maybe she was right. It probably wasn’t just my period causing this. It felt like hours passed before she finally returned.

- "Did you have hot chocolate this morning?" she asked.

What kind of question was that? Of course, I had. I nodded.

- "Well, looks like we have our answer. The milk was expired. They forgot to check the date. Didn’t you notice anything odd about the taste?"

- "N-no."

Since I usually dunk my pastry in it, I hadn't noticed anything strange. I groaned again as the pain persisted. Lucy sighed and sat down next to me. I wasted no time collapsing into her. She chuckled, wrapping her arms around me, and I sighed in contentment. I had been waiting for this moment. She kissed my forehead again.

- "You’re burning up. Looks like you’re in for a rough day, poor thing."

- "It’s not so bad, since you're here with me."

She chuckled softly, tightening her embrace.

- "For once, you’re being optimistic…"

I nudged her playfully in the stomach, making her laugh. I could stay here for hours. Of course, she had to shatter my hopes.

- "Come on, we can't stay here. The ladies at reception offered us a room to rest in."

- "No... I'm fine right here," I mumbled.

- "Come on," she teased. "We’re not staying on the bathroom floor all day."

I groaned as she stood up, leaving me without anything to lean on. I had no choice but to stand, with her help. The only positive thing was that my nausea had passed by now. Lucy supported me as we walked to the reception area where two women stood behind the counter.

- "Is the room still available?" Lucy asked.

- "Yes, of course. I’ll open it for you," said the younger woman.

She stood up immediately, offering me a small smile that I struggled to return. She led us to a door opening into a large conference room.

- "Feel free to ask if you need anything."

- "You’ve already done a lot. Thank you."

She nodded and left us alone. Lucy guided me inside and closed the door behind us. At least we’d have some privacy.

- "Alright, lie down for a bit. It’ll help."

She made a makeshift bed by lining up several chairs in a row.

- "Come on."

I sighed but complied. I took my time, a bit afraid of the setup's sturdiness, but once I lay across the chairs, I realized it wasn't too bad. Lucy even gave me her scarf as a pillow. She couldn’t have picked anything better—I could still smell her scent this way. She then covered me with her jacket. I felt like I was freezing, but Lucy said it was due to the fever.

- "You’re staying, right?" I murmured.

- "Of course."

She pulled up a chair across from me and sat down. I smiled as she ran her hand through my hair to move it out of my face. I clung to her other hand, wanting to make sure she wouldn’t leave, though I knew she wouldn’t.

- "I love you," I murmured before drifting off to sleep.

Thursday, March 24; 12:10 PM 

I woke up to some commotion. Several voices stirred me from my deep sleep. I blinked a few times, trying to remember where I was. I hadn’t moved from the chairs. My first sight was Lucy, still sitting across from me, talking to someone I couldn’t make out. Our hands were no longer linked, and I soon understood why, recognizing the masculine voices in the room.

- "Looks like she’s waking up."

Lucy immediately turned her head toward me. She smiled as I stretched slowly, still gripping her scarf beneath me. Something felt off about the room, but I couldn’t place it.

- "How are you feeling?" she asked.

I shrugged, still groggy. I wasn’t sure how I felt yet. I thought my fever had broken since I wasn’t as cold as before.

- "Your classmates are having lunch. Are you hungry?"

A wave of disgust washed over me. Any mention of food made me nauseous right now. Lucy laughed at my expression, which must have been amusing.

- "Alright, I get it," she smiled softly. "But I’m hungry. So either you come with me, or someone else will stay here with you."

I groaned, trying to sit up. She quickly stopped my abrupt movements.

- "Take it easy," she teased. "I’m not going anywhere."

A cold draft hit me as I lost the warmth of her jacket. I slowly sat up and glanced around. Mr. Johnson was there with the company manager. I was glad they didn’t bombard me with questions. However, I noticed my teacher giving me a rather stern look, which I ignored. I ran my hand through my hair to smooth it down, shivering in the process.

- "Can I keep your jacket? It’s still so warm."

My voice cracked from disuse. Lucy nodded and helped me put it on to preserve the warmth. She also draped her large scarf over my shoulders like a shawl.

- "Alright, let’s go."

She guided me with a hand on my back. I ignored the men in the room, sensing that they understood this wasn’t the time to talk to me. Lucy must have filled them in before I woke up. We walked into another, larger conference room. The company had prepared sandwiches and muffins for lunch, which was nice of them. My classmates were gathered around the table, but Lucy led me to the far end, where the teachers were seated. I still felt a bit out of place, but I didn’t want to leave Lucy just yet.

- "Hey there," Ingrid greeted me. "You always get sick at the worst times, don’t you?" she teased gently.

I groaned in response. Lucy laughed as she pulled out a chair for me between the two of them. I sat down, gripping her scarf tightly around me.

- "Stop bothering her. She’s already grumpy enough."

- "Oops, sorry," Ingrid said with a playful grin. "Do you know what caused it?"

- "The milk this morning. Wiegman was furious. Several students got food poisoning."

- "Damn, that sucks for you," she said, patting my shoulder. "Though now we know you’re the only one still drinking hot chocolate in the morning. Maybe it’s time you switched to coffee," she joked.

I shrugged off her hand and rested my head on my arms on the table with a soft groan. Lucy chuckled, running her fingers through my hair.

- "She’s just kidding. Calm down."

I didn’t respond. They continued chatting, but I lost track of the conversation. I felt like I could fall asleep again in any position. However, Lucy didn’t give me the chance. She gently rubbed my thigh, discreetly keeping me awake.

- "Looks like someone won’t be feeling better this afternoon," Ingrid remarked.

- "No, it doesn’t seem like it."

- "Do you want to switch?" Ingrid offered. "I can stay with her if you want to do the factory tour."

I glanced over at Lucy. I didn’t want to keep her from the tour, but I’d rather have her stay with me. As if to reassure me, Lucy’s touch became more soothing.

- "No, it’s fine. I’ll stay with her."

- "Alright, as you wish," Ingrid didn’t insist.

I felt relieved. I love Ingrid, but she couldn’t replace Lucy’s presence. The break was brief. My class soon resumed the tour in their groups. I didn’t even get a chance to chat with my friends. I hope they don’t hold it against me for ignoring them during that short time. I’ll catch up with them once this is all over.

[cruyuu]

hii! are there any really good (and preferably long) sukuita fics that you like? love ur analyses btw and thank you ❤️

Hii anon! Sorry for a very, very late answer. I've been busy as hell and just chose to put this ask in the drafts and then forgot about writing out my answer.

I've already replied to one similar ask some time ago but since you're asking for my opinion and for them to be long, the list that I have in my head with my colorful commentary is under the cut. Hopefully, you'll find some of them as interesting as I did.

The Tale of the Peach Blossom Prince by ChumbalieWumbus

First fic I ever read for sukuita. Let's just say it blew me away with its attention to detail and worldbuilding. This fic isn't strictly just sukuita though, it's rather a sukumeji? (there's a polyamorous relationship between Sukuna, Uraume and Yuuji) fic. It's understandable to skip this if you're looking for strictly sukuita fics but I do suggest you give this a try since it's rather long and quite well done. As a Yuuji fan, I adore it personally. This fic also has some gorgeous fanart too! (Which I will unfortunately not link because it's featured at the end of the story and it will spoil major things regarding it). Now, my comments aside, short summary is: The Culling Games are happening. Yuuji fights someone (not Sukuna btw) and ends up traveling back in time to the Heian period. Chaos ensues.

All in all, I had a blast reading it and I recommend it heavily.

Ten Years and a Day series by EvilPeaches

This isn't really a chaptered fic but is a series of two fics sitting at 21k words so ofc I'll feature it here. It's the written out what if Sukuna wins? scenario where Yuuji remains alive which is a type of fic I had been hunting for at the beginning when I grew to love these two and this checked off all the boxes for me. It was practically wish fulfillment. Genuinely beautiful and harrowing and quite in character too which is a must for me.

I am a sucker for canon (and canon divergence) fics but if that's not what you're looking for then I highly recommend checking out No Eviction Notice by the same author too, which is a long AU and heavy on the plot (angsty as hell too, so beware).

Istrouma by trashygivency

An ongoing work but trust me it is so worth it. Like I said, I'm a sucker for canon and this fic delivers, especially because its set during the Culling Games arc, where the sukuita divorce is in place. Well, things take a turn and Sukuna and Yuuji magically reunite and walk through memories together. One thing leads to another and trust me, it's wild. It's a reincarnation AU and oh my god they were roommates past lovers with good characterization and a plot which centers on their forgotten then remembered past. My commentary can't do this fic justice so please check it out!

Blood & Snow by megumiblues

A breath of fresh air amidst the tragically-depraved (is that a word? lol) works I had been (and usually am) consuming of these two. If you're not that into tragedy, don't want them to ruin each other and tear at each other or don't want their love and union to have catastrophic or deadly consequences, this is your fic. It's still them in all their glory (yknow hate, Sukuna being a bastard, etc.) but surprisingly soft and beautiful. All I'm going to say is that the author did a good job at this AU, both with the plot and Sukuna and Yuuji's characterization. It actually made me shed a tear too so that's a big, big thumbs up for me.

Speaking of long-written soft sukuita...

I'm Sick Of You by Cogni_Diss

also makes the list! It's five chapters long and is also quite tame. It's funny, a bit sad but also quite beautiful. I adore this author and their take on these two idiots so make sure to check out their other works as well. As for the summary: This is a canon divergence fic and with each finger Yuuji swallows, Sukuna grows stronger but here swallowing something ancient has consequences unlike in canon. It's tooth-rotting fluff (with some angst, nothing severe tho) and these two terribly in-canon. Check! it! out! if you want a remedy to the heavy and hard ride these two can be.

Ok, now back to the dark side.

Collision by Serkerde

A genuinely, unfortunately ongoing but extremely interesting A/B/O AU fic where Sukuna is, put plainly, himself (a dick) and an Alpha. Slowest of burns with sukuita is a weird idea in an AU where everything seems to be driven by instinct. Or is that the case? Yuuji (and the modern world) would disagree. Basically: you have an Alpha who is one of a kind (called a Prime) and Yuuji who belongs to the dwindling numbers of Omega. Not your average ones ofc. A very heavy plot ensues with them slowly, slowly, veeery slowly falling for each other. The author has their own twist on the A/B/O Universe which is why this fic is an interesting recipe from the start. Throw in these two and you already have a divine meal cooking.

Also highly recommend checking out Should Immortality Be So Mortal and In Our Flesh series by the same author! I hold SIBSM and IOF series close to my chest because I adore how this author writes these two. <3

The Shape Of Our Souls by O_ToJoy

Another breathtaking (also ongoing fml but don't let that stop you), heavy on the plot with an interesting premise A/B/O AU story. It deals with the future and follows a non-linear narrative. Yuuji is an Omega who has kids with Alpha Sukuna and guess what? The merger happens in this fic. Trust me this fic is gorgeous and a blast. Everything is handled incredibly and passionately and I can't put into words how obsessed I was with this fic when I first found it (which was a couple of months ago). I still love it and have it in my 'read for later' for updates. The characterization (of all, not just Sukuna and Yuuji), the world-building, the plot... It's incredible truly.

Apotheosis series by cafedelmar

I love authors who vibe and just write, trying to unwind and explain the unexplainable and unattainable. Taking characters into their own hands and just going with the flow. Sukuna is a God in this series, the fics follow a non-linear narrative and are slightly AU-ish. It's all vibes basically but it's brilliantly written, heavily centered around Sukuna being something larger than what we've seen of him in canon. I love love love authors who can put the unexplainable into very clear-cut explainable and this author does it extremely well. Yuuji is Sukuna's vessel and this series is riding the Dark!Yuuji vibe (which is also one of my fav ideas) because sure, power is addicting itself and having a God entertain an idea of giving it to a weak-in-comparison Yuuji (Yuuji the key point here) is a whole another addicting thing in itself. All in all, heavy Season 1 vibes and gorgeously written.

And since I'm talking about S1 vibes...

Nuns with Guns by surverycorpsjean

is also a recommended read for those who find the one body/two souls situation so very interesting. This one is hauntingly beautiful and extremely well-written. It's not a chaptered fic but it is nearly 20k words long so it made it on the list. I was on a hunt for fics which explored this situation down to its ugly, twisted, terrifyingly beautiful core (because canon gave us nothing :( ) and this one blew me away, especially with it's characterization. Definitely check this one out if you're stuck on S1 sukuita and their weird ass hatred which could translate into codependency and not death because why would they be normal about each other lol. That's boring.

vinegar heart by vavavavoom

Yuuji, cursed from birth, is made for Sukuna, yet unlike in canon, acceptance is the path he is forced to walk on here, until he grows to love it and hate it because this is an AU! Selfishness, cruelty, codependency and sukuita with Yuuji who is suffering (it is what it is style) and Sukuna who's obsessed with him (basically canon lol). What more could you ask for? Joking aside, this fic takes place in an AU and has God Sukuna who... I shouldn't spoil it. Let's just say that Sukuna isn't the same Sukuna we see in canon. He's much more accepting of Yuuji here, even though he mocks him and belittles him and everything. I mean the tag "Possessive Behavior" is right there so... yeah. The reason why I held my hand from writing out the spoiler is bc 1) it'll ruin your experience and 2) it adds an interesting undertone to the story and basically makes you go "Ohhhh". Check it out!

not the temple, but the lamb slit up inside by obscyr

Interesting as hell and definitely one of the extremes ones. Beautifully written as well. I started it like two months ago but then dropped it because I was busy and it had been sitting in my notes app for quite some time until I caught up to it recently. As you may have noticed, I am down bad for codependency, but I am also down bad for seeing how bad things could get. Sukuita, in all its glory, is problematic as hell, but if you throw them into an Modern AU, make Sukuna a cannibalist + suspected? serial killer and have Yuuji as his nephew who's lowkey growing obsessed with his mystery and is also a mystery himself- I'm going to shut up now because I will spoil the plot- you get this hell. It has 9 chapters, and the plot moves a bit slow but if you're intrigued, then definitely give it a read and ofc, if you are overwhelmed with this fic or just don't like it, feel free to skip.

Aconitum by AttackRabbit

Another ongoing fic which I recently got addicted to. Again, it's ABO AU but not overtly typical one, and heavy on the plot and world-building. Can you imagine that the author had actually invented a language for Sukuna? Yes! It's that amazing. In this fic, Yuuji is a war veteran who works as an apothecary and he stumbles onto injured Sukuna. Brilliant characterization, a unique plot and if you don't read and translate Sukuna's sentences, he's basically half-a-mystery. Much love to this fic because it is incredible!

And that's for the list! A big shout-out goes to Character Assassination by MayTheSixth which I also started reading a couple of days ago, but because it's quite a long work, I never got around to finishing it. It's also an ongoing one, but I'm loving it so far so you can check that out too!

And there you have it anon. Happy reading and have a wonderful day or night!

[georgiapeach30513]

A Little At A Time, Part 11

Summary:  Andy knows you’ve been keeping something from him.

Pairings:  Andy Barber X Reader

Rating:  mild

Warnings:  language, mentions of infertility, fear of miscarriage, 18+ ONLY

Word Count:  4.8K

Previous

Series Masterlist

With a sigh off your lips, your hand slides over Andy’s that was firmly resting on your belly.  Weaving your fingers in his, you try and lift his hand up higher on your body.  He was going to know, and find out your secret if he kept his hand there.  Andy, still fast asleep, lets your hand hold onto his, placing it on your heart instead.  

You couldn’t sleep.  Not with the constant worry and intrusive thoughts going on through your head.  And currently you are fighting off nausea.  Trying to ignore your situation, it was becoming harder and harder to deny that you are pregnant.  Your boobs had become so sensitive, and Andy barely grazing them either made you wince, or gave you this deep desire to fuck him.  There was no in between.

The upset stomach was slowly going from morning sickness to just all day sickness.  To the point that making meals was becoming unbearable.  And you never remember having cravings quite like you did now.  Like if you didn’t get that orange dreamsicle right now you would die.  God, it sounded amazing.  You can taste the popsicle on your tongue.  Thinking about food makes your stomach roll, and you need Andy’s hand back on your belly.

“No,” you whisper.  Taking a deep breath to ease the impending sickness that is bubbling up.  Eyes watering as you try and fight it.  “No,” jumping out of the bed, Andy sits up immediately as you run into the bathroom, and hurl your guts out.  

If you are pregnant, your baby is being mean to you.  Tears fill your eyes, and you try to make the sickness stop.  Try to come up with an excuse, and there is nothing.  You work with kids, so there could be an explanation.  It was just a stomach bug.

“Peaches?  Honey, you okay?”

“I’m fine,” you swallow sickness as Andy walks into the bathroom, “I really don’t need you to see me like this,” you complain, and he leans back on the counter.  Damn, he looks good.  Nothing but boxers on, and his arms cross his chest, and a deep desire to bite his nipples comes over you.  

“Honey, I think you should call out sick.”

“I'll be fine in the morning, Ands.  It’s nothing,” he clicks his tongue, while you sit on your bottom.  Why was he so sexy?  Visions of him pressing your face into the mattress while he pounds you from behind enter in your mind.  Dreamsicle.  Oh it sounds amazing.  Even better licking it off his titties.

Andy taps his fingers over the counter while he watches you.  “Did you just get sick?  Or has this been going on?”

“I’ve been throwing up all week at work,” fucking hell.  Andy narrows his eyes at you, but doesn’t say a thing.  He is fucking hot when he’s got an angry face looking at you.  He could fuck you from behind while you ate a dreamsicle.  

“What do you think has caused you to have an upset stomach?”

“Probably my period,” Andy cocks up his eyebrow.  My god, you want to ride him while he holds the dreamsicle up for you.  You actually moan out loud.  Imagining Andy covered in dreamsicles, and your tongue just licks him and the popsicles up.  

“Uhh…you’re not due for a period currently.”

“It’s unpredictable.”

“Then you’re very late.”

“I need a snack,” you answer, standing up, and walking straight into the kitchen.  They were calling your name, and they are just a few feet away.  You can already taste them on your tongue.  Smell them in every part of your body.  A flash of wondering what Andy’s cream would taste like with the creamsicle imprints in your mind, and you shove it away.  Not tonight.  

Slinging open the freezer, you stare horrified, they are gone.  What is this sadness?  It’s not even anger.  Your feelings are hurt.  They are not here, “Daddy, they’re gone.”

“What’s gone, honey?”

“Th-the dreamsicles,” why did your voice just go up an octave?  And why does your chest feel tighter?  “They were right there, and now they’re gone, and…”

“You ate the last one after super.  Even gave  me the last bite.”

“I did that?” That’s all you could think about.  Now an emptiness is heavy in your belly.  “I really wanted that,” why are you screeching?  “I really wanted a dreamsicle,” what were the tears?

“Peaches, baby, it’s okay.  I’ll get you some in the morning.”

“But I really wanted one right now.  My stomach is upset, and I can’t stop throwing up.  I’ve got slutty thoughts about my husband always in my mind, and it is involving those fucking popsicles, and my tits hurt.  They really do, Andy.  And my nipples, they won’t stop being hard.  And I want to fuck you, and bite you, and I’ve got this really weird cramping in my belly, and…I really wanted that dreamsicle.”

Andy comes over to you, holding you, while your tears stream down your face.  Your voice had reached a high pitch he had never heard before.  He had never witnessed you ever being so fussy and comically unreasonable.  You all but told him what you had been thinking.  It wasn’t a dread, it was a fear.  “Daddy, I really wanted that popsicle.”

“I know, baby.  Do you want me to go to the store, and get you some more?”

“It’s two o’clock in the morning,” you whine.  Of all the silly little nonsense.  That suggestion is worse than you not being able to stop your tears.

“There’s stores that stay open twenty-four hours.  Let me go get you some more popsicles.  It shouldn't’ take me long, and you’re calling out from work.  There’s no way that you can work after you’ve been sick to your stomach and up all night.”

“Andy, I’m not sick,” you sniffle, trying to stop the tears.  Leaning back so you can look at him.

“I know, honey.  I’m not coming back with just the ice cream.  I need you to take a pregnancy test for us,” you shake your head no, starting to pout as you bury your face back in his chest, “Why?”

“Because what if this is all in my head, and it’s negative?  Because what if it’s positive, and I do something to our baby?  What if…?”

“Shhh,” Andy’s thick hands rub up and down your back.  “Honey, if you are pregnant, we need to know now.  We’ll need to get you set up with a doctor, and have the best prenatal care we can get.  If you're pregnant it’s better to find out now, rather than later.”

“You knew,” you don’t even lean back to look at him, just keep your face tucked on his chest.  His titties really are comfortable.  “How?”

“The vomiting.  The weird smell aversions.  You’ve been on a dreamsicle kick for awhile now.  It’s like you’re going to die if you don’t have one.  Why do you think I got you new vitamins?  Peaches, they are prenatal.  Let me go get some more popsicles, and buy a test.  I will hold your hand while you take it.”

“You’re going to hear me pee?”

“I just heard you throw up.  I have heard you pee, and I have gone into the bathroom after you shit.  We’re getting married.  If I hear my wife’s pee while she’s peeing on a stick, what should it matter.”

“I don’t shit,” you giggle, giving his nipple a little bite.  “I am a lady.”

“Yeah, tell that to your ass.  Is there any other weird thing you need me to buy while I’m out?  You need some chips?  Pickles?  Corn?”

“Corn?” You bite his other nipple a little harder, and he pinches your ass.  “No.  Dreamsicles are perfect.  Ooh, but if you want to get some of that grass fed beef jerky, I won’t be mad.”

“First, say it.  Tell me, Andy, I think I’m pregnant,” a smile creeps up your face, and you shake your head.  “Yes, say, Daddy, I think that you fucked a baby in me.  I’m going to be so swollen with you.”

“Andy!”

“Is that not what you’ve been begging for?  You have been begging for me to fill you up and…”

“Daddy, I think I’m pregnant,” Andy beams down at you.  He has dreamed of this moment, and you looking up at him so sweetly with tears in your eyes, and your cheeks glistening with the tears that had already spilt was more than he could have ever imagined.

“Give me about thirty minutes.  I’m going to get you some dreamsicles, beef jerky, and a test.  Try and get some sleep, or rest.”

“But the popsicles,” this is just silly.  You start blinking your eyes because the thought of trying to get sleep when your body is aching for that stupid ice cream is driving you insane.  “I need them, and can’t sleep without them.”

“Okay, let me run and get the ice cream, and a test, and the grass fed beef jerky.  Can you have that?”

“Andy!”

“Okay, okay.  I’m on my way to the store.  I love you, and I’ll be right back, honey,” why is he so cute?  Just watching him run back into the bedroom to put on some sweats, and shoes makes you want to start crying again.  He is perfect, and you worry you just don’t deserve him.  

“What’s wrong?” He asks, grabbing his keys.  He is moving as fast as he possibly can, but here you are unable to control your thoughts and emotions.  “Honey?”

“You’re so perfect.  And I don’t know why I can’t stop crying.  I have been fighting the tears for so long.  I’m scared, Andy.  Scared to be pregnant.  Scared to not be pregnant.  I have all these obscene cravings, and these completely ridiculous and abhorrent fantasies about you.  I’ve got you traipsing around all hours of the night for some damn popsicles, because I need it, and I knew in Georgia.”

“What?” Andy asks, stepping closer to you, and you're wallowing in his chest again.  “What did you know in Georgia?”

“I felt it.”

“Felt what?  Honey, I’m confused.”

“I felt them connect.  Your sperm and my egg.  I just don’t want to say it out loud, because if I do, she can be taken away from us.  And I’m already calling her a she, and I don’t even know.  And I want you to touch her little home all the time, and I’m ridiculous.  Why is my phone ringing?” More tears.  They never stop anymore, and the phone was playing an obnoxiously loud tune.  “It’s Mamaw.”

“Let me get it.  Stay right there,” jogging back to the bedroom, he doesn’t make it to your phone, but it starts ringing again, “Ruby?”

“Why are you answering the phone?”

“She’s in the living room, and I ran back in here.”

“Why is she in the living room, Andrew?” Andy walks back to you, and thankfully you have sat down on the couch, but still you cry.  

“Peach Blossom, you want to talk?” You shake your head no, and Andy tries to think of an excuse, “She’s tired, Ruby.  She got sick.”

“She’s not sick.  The wind changed,” Andy looks at you a bit confused, but doesn’t say much.  He would never do anything to insult your grandmother.  “So were you two ever going to tell me what she’s got growing in her belly?”

“Uh…what?”

“You two have sex, we’ve established that.  But why are you hiding a pregnancy?”

“I’m very confused.  I…we don’t even know if she is.  I’m making an emergency run, and she’s really craving ice cream.  Honey,” he hands the phone over to you, “You need to talk to her.  This is weird.  You need ice cream, and I need you to test, so we can get you to the doctor, if you’re pregnant,” he gives you a sweet kiss to your temple before walking out the door, and you want to cry again.  He was so pretty leaving, but it hurts to see him gone.

“Mamaw?”

“Oh, Peach Blossom, it’s okay.  This is what you’ve always wanted.”

“We’re not married, and you are going to be so disappointed in me,” why do the tears not stop?  Why was your mouth literally tasting the popsicle in your mouth?  Why was your fiance not sitting beside you?  “But I want her.”

“Baby, I am not disappointed in you.  I’m upset you didn’t call me.  When did you know?”

“That night in my bed.  I’m sorry we had sex in my bed under your roof, and I just knew.”

“Peach Blossom, you stop that crying.  You’re acting like your mother did.  It’s definitely a girl.  That’s how I acted with her.  Not your uncle.  The girls make you cry.  Stop.  Your man is going to get your ice cream.  He’s going to make a great husband and dad for you.  But you need a doctor.  Why are you waiting?” Of all people you figured that she would get it.  Mamaw had held you after every doctor’s visit.  The ugly reality hitting you that you might not be able to get pregnant.

Every period that was painful beyond movement, she made sure you drank water and ate something.  Would bring a heating pad for you, and lay in the bed with you reading stories, or watching cheesy soap operas with you.  Mamaw had been the person you leaned on, and now it was Andy.  She had to know why you had been avoiding an official test.

“Because I don’t want me and Andy to be attached and something happens to her.  I can deal with my heartbreak, but not his.  He deserves the world.  Mamaw, what if I can’t carry her?  What if…”

“What if you shut up?” Why is she being so mean?  “Baby, I’m not saying that you don’t have fears, or saying that you can’t feel hopeless because of those fears.  I’m saying if you miss out on all the good parts of a pregnancy, or keep that from Andy, I’m going to whoop you.  That man deserves to baby you.  You know that’s what he wants.  He wants to take care of you and that baby.  And you would be taking away the early parts of pregnancy.  That’s not fair to either of you.  Enjoy each phase of yours and Andy’s life.  If you want to marry him there will be gut wrenching moments that you two will have to endure.  But I think you two will be people where the good outweighs the bad.  It’s time for you to trust him and your relationship.  Has he heard you toot?”

“Mamaw,” you start giggling through your tears, grabbing some tissues to clean yourself.

“I’m sure he’s heard you toot.  Stinking ass.  If he loves your butt so much, he has to smell it.  There’s good and bad to things.  Now, be thankful you have a man willing to go shopping for your cravings in the middle of the night.  Be thankful that he wants to be present in the pregnancy.  Baby, that’s what this life is about.  You’ve found someone to share it with, so let him have it all.  That’s what he wants.  He wants everything.”

“You’re right,” he is already back.  Headlights shining into the house.  “You’re right.  I really need this ice cream, too.”

“Pee on that stick, and just prove to both of you that there’s a little peanut in there.  Baby, bad things happen to good people, but don’t worry about what could happen.  Worry about what is happening.  And that’s the fact that you don’t know how to keep your legs closed in my house, and he put a baby inside of you.  You two make a mess of the sheets, just to let you know.”

Oh.  My.  God.  Mamaw was being too honest right now.  “Let that sexy man take care of you, baby.  Love you, and I expect a picture of my grandchild as soon as you have one.”

You don’t know what is sexier; your future husband, or the multiple bags he had that were filled with boxes of dreamsicles.  “I didn’t want us to run out, and I knew that the freezer could handle it.  Plus, you convinced me to get the deep freezer for the garage.  So we can put the extra stock in there.  I opened up a box on the way here, so here’s you one.  Let me get these in the freezer before they melt.  Eat that, and then you’re going to pee on a stick.”

His voice trails off as he walks towards the garage, and you are ready to cry again.  Eyes welling up with tears as you take a bite from the confection.  He is so perfect.  Damn, he looks amazing.  He went for a two in the morning run for ice cream because your body and his baby was craving it, and he bought extra.  

Andy stops at the doorway into the living room, giving you a pout as a tear streams down your face, “Honey, what’s wrong?”

“You’re so perfect.  I’m being ridiculous.  This…this isn’t like me.  You went and bought lots of ice cream for me, and beef jerky.  And my breath is going to smell awful, and you’re smiling at me, looking like a god in your sweatpants, and hoodie.  And I’m just…Andy, I think pregnant.”

“Gee, what gave you that idea?  Was it the throwing up?” You sniffle, holding your arms out wide.  You need him to hold you.  You have turned into this needy little silly goose, and you need his lap.  “Was it the strong cravings?  Or maybe this new emotional self that you don’t seem to be able to control?  Maybe it was your nipples that are always hard and you squeal anytime I touch them.”

“Yes,” whining as you crawl into his lap, and his hand naturally finds your belly.  “And that.  You knew, too.”

“Peach Bottom, it’s not like we were careful.  And I’m not stupid.  The vomiting is becoming a normal thing.  And you’ve been doing it at work,” you hold out your popsicle to him, and he gives it a little bite, leaning forward to give you an extra sweet kiss.  “Mmm, so the possible little bean that’s in there is really liking these?  You want to pee on the stick, while I finish this?”

“Absolutely not.  I cried for these popsicles.  I need them.  I think she’s happy now.”

“You’re going to keep calling the bean in your belly a she, and he's going to prove that he’s a boy.”

“No, I just…I felt it.  Like the moment it happened, I just felt it.  And I feel her, and I know that it’s crazy.  But I really want to see you have this sweet little baby girl in your arms.  I want to be her best friend, but I want you to be her hero,” Andy is the one getting tears in his eyes, and your head jerks away from him, “Stop that.  I can’t cry anymore.”

“You brought it up.  You’re making me all kinds of soft.  Talking about becoming a hero to our daughter, and we don’t even know for sure if you’re pregnant, and…”

“You’re scared we’re going to lose her.”

His hand starts to rub up and down your back, and you tuck yourself under his chin.  Alternating bites between you and him, “Andy what if I can’t…can’t — I want her.”

“Honey, things are going to happen when they happen, and how they’re meant to happen.  People miscarry all the time, and it’s nobody’s fault.  Our goal is to give the baby the best environment to grow.  If that means you quit working beforehand, then that’s what we do.  But no matter what, we will be fine.”

“I’m scared.  I want to be a mommy, and raise our baby like my mom didn’t me.  I would never give her up.  I never want to spend a day without her, and I want you to be a daddy to our baby, and get to spoil her like…” getting emotional all over again when you think about the life that you didn’t have.  Andy thinks, too.  He didn’t have that perfect home with present parents.  

“My dad never raised me.  Peaches, please, put us out of our misery, and take the test.  And then we deal with everything afterwards.  There’s no point in us going over these scenarios that might happen.  Honey, I love you.  I’m going to marry you, and we’re going to be parents one way or another.  There’s nothing wrong with you.  I’ll make sure you become a mommy.”

“Yeah,” whispering, you let him have the last bite as you look at the box of tests on the table.  It was surprising that you and Andy didn’t have a stockpile of tests.  You knew what unprotected sex would bring.  And unprotected wasn’t even the word; this was deliberately trying to get pregnant.  This is what you wanted and still those fears linger in your mind.

Doubting your ability to get pregnant, or to even carry a baby until birth.  Those years of the doctors’ words haunting you with every step you take to the bathroom.  The possibility was low, almost impossible.  There could be complications.  There could be a low birth rate.  There could be something wrong with the baby.  

You wanted this life.  The handsome husband, the beautiful house that you and he made a home, and you wanted a family.  With children involved.  Yeah, there were other options, and you weren’t too good for them.  But there has always been a strong desire to feel and have every moment of a pregnancy.  To feel the first flutters.  To see their movement in your belly, to hear that first cry, and feeling their skin and breath on your own.

Andy’s arms wrap around you so tightly as you wait for that word.  Or two words, should it not be positive.  So much negativity swirls in your head as you wait for one of your biggest dreams to possibly come true.  Andy whispers your name, and you don’t even hear it.  The negative doctor voices are so loud.  

The tears of true fear pour down your face as he says your name again, and you try and crawl into his skin, “Baby, listen to me.”

“No.  I can’t.  I can’t deal with this heartbreak.”

“The heartbreak of what?  Trying to find a crib?” He holds you even tighter, kissing the top of your head.  “We’ve already got the room picked out.  Do you want dark furniture or light?”

“Andy,” you can’t say anything else as those fearful tears just turn into a relieving joy, and you sob as all those moments of being told you most likely would never be pregnant slowly leave your body.

“And we’ve got to get you a doctor’s appointment, and no matter what they say, you’re going to do it.  I don’t care if they tell you to eat chicken for every meal.  And we need to start looking up names, and I promised that if we have a girl that Mae is in it.  And…Peaches, baby, we’re going to be parents.”

His words sound so beautiful, but still you are in your head of seeing every moment.  You are pregnant.  With Andy’s baby.  He was growing inside of you.  You are pregnant.  “And you need to decide how you want to do the wedding.  Do you want to get married now, and have a wedding later?”

“Andy, we’re having a baby,” you finally push off him to look at his beautiful face, and he starts peppering kisses all over your cheeks.  It was so late, and you couldn’t sleep even if you wanted to.  “I love you.  God, I love you so much.”

“I love you, too,” he whispers, pressing his lips against your temple.

“I was talking to our baby,” he stops his motions just to give you that look.  “I love you, too, Daddy.  I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for you.”

“Neither would I.  We’re having a baby.  We’re having a baby!  I want to sling you over my shoulder, and run through the house, but there’s precious cargo in the belly.  And…we should call Poppy, and your grandparents, and…no we should wait.  First doctor’s appointment, and then…”

“Andy, we should wait.  First trimester a lot happens, and…Mamaw pretty much knows.  Something about the wind, but…we should wait.  I can’t deal with…if anything happens I just want us to know because I can’t deal with other people asking about the baby and…”

“Honey, you gotta stop worrying.  You can’t do this every chance you get.”

“I-I-I know.  But I can’t help it.  It’s ingrained me.  I’ll be positive, I promise.  I just want the first trimester to be for us.  Maybe not make anything public until we know for sure that our daughter is in there.”

“You’re not giving that up are you?” Biting your lip, you shake your head no, running your hands up his chest, settling a hand behind his neck.  “You’re sure we’re having a daughter?”

“I just feel her.  Just like I felt when your tadpole broke into my egg.”

“What if there’s two in there?”

“There’s not.  And if there is, my one ovary is working double time or the egg split in two.  Must be that super sonic sperm of yours,” Andy throws his head back laughing, and you are so thankful that this man is the one you’re going to do life with.  That he was going to be the father of your baby.  “Thank you.”

“For what?”

“For knocking me up.”

“Ugh, I am a baby daddy now, huh?”

“Yeah.  You’re my baby daddy.  What do you think of going to the courthouse, and getting married?  Like as soon as possible.  I still want a wedding, but I don’t want to take any rights away from you as a father.  And I want to be Mrs. Barber on our ultrasounds.”

“You just don't want to be pregnant for our wedding,” you shake your head no.  Having a big pregnant belly in a wedding sounds amazing.  But the idea of looking back years later at ultrasound pictures to having your last name on them instead of Barber bothered you for some reason.  “Really?”

“We can get married this week, and then later when our little girl decides to show herself we can go back to Georgia for a small ceremony, and party, and let everyone celebrate us, but our baby.  I think I’d be cute in a white dress, and a big ole baby belly.”

“You would be the cutest.  And while I would love to continue this conversation, you need sleep.  You’re growing our baby, and I refuse to call the baby our daughter until we know what the little bean is.  Either boy or girl, you know you’ve got me, right?  Like this is life for us.  Just me and you, and our baby, and if we have more.”

“And a dog?”  Andy wouldn’t say no to you, even if he wanted to.  You know you had him.  You know that he was going to do whatever he could to make you happy.

“When the baby can talk.  We’ll get a dog.  You miss animals, hmm?” You give him a head nod, feeling the sleep start to take over.  Hoping that there isn’t a sickness that pushes itself up in an hour.  “I’ll get us a dog, Peach Bottom.  When our baby can talk, and name the puppy, I’ll get us whatever you want.  But your eyes getting heavy tells me how sleepy you are.  Let’s get in the bed, and let me hold you and our baby.”

A giggle rings in Andy’s ears, and he smiles.  He had always followed the rules in hopes of having the perfect family.  And he was getting it.  Getting all that and everything in between with you.  What you had been thinking was right.  Andy’s hand had drifted to your belly, instead of your butt, because he wanted to hold his baby.  It was perfect.  He is perfect.  Your baby daddy, and almost husband was perfect.  

His hand plants on your belly the second he crawls behind you.  It drifts all over your belly, tracing over every inch.  It was only going to last this size for so long.  Andy wasn’t going to waste one second trying to find his baby.  There is a shift in him.  This determination that you couldn’t explain.  

Mamaw told you that you chose a partner well.  She said she could feel Andy’s protectiveness sizzle off him.  That he would be the type of man that would stand in front of you to keep you away from harm.  The type of man that would walk closer to traffic, just to keep you protected.  Mamaw was a smart woman with her silly superstitions, but she wasn’t wrong about Andy.  He was all those things, and more.

You could feel his fierce protectiveness grow with your pregnancy.  He wasn’t just protecting you anymore.  He was protecting his family.  His family.  With you.  And his baby.

Next

Masterlist

Taglist: @tis-thedamn-season​ @marveloustaylortot​ @pono-pura-vida​ @sstan-hoe​ @missusbarnes-rogers​ @peaches1958​ @seitmai​ @smile1318​ @andydrysdalerogers​ @kittycatcait219 @sarahdonald87​ @roguediorxoxo @patzammit​ @elrw24​ @redbloodedgurl​ @cjand10​ @calwitch​ @sebsgirl71479​ @midnightramyeoncravings​ @atoosa22​

[wexhappyxfew]

And then “Look at you! You're spilling coffee.” For Brady and Annie >:)

HI POET!!!!!!! thank you so much for sending in a prompt + incredibly sorry it is so SO late for a response!! my summer has been so incredibly busy and i've only just gotten to this now, so i truly hope you enjoy!!! <3 annie and brady are an absolute joy to write and i always love getting to play around in the areas of time we get to see them in - so this is in the early days of getting to know each other and - you guessed it - it involves coffee haha! THANK YOU AGAIN!!! (also hi and hello i am back after an absolutely chaotic af week)!!!!!! <3333

porcelain, silk and starch

(a/n): ANNIE X BRADY GIRLIES THIS IS FOR YOUUUU!!!! getting back into some 'early days' sorta stuff for these two that i felt were needed for their connection. just those early moments of first meetings and interactions that i wanted to work with a bit! and ofc a cameo from co-pilot francis who is my fav of favs fr! a queen in true form!!! i hope you all (and poet most of all - this was a great prompt THANK YOU) enjoy!!! :D

“Silver Bullets should’ve been put into mass production the day she made the run over Caen,” Francis said, pulling her cigarette from her lip and patting the edge of the wing, the early dawn rays of the sun tickling the edges of the metal, “flies like a fucking angel, I tell ya, Bradshaw.”

Annie looked up at the large berth of wingspan for the B-17 and smiled a bit; it was evident how much Francis cared about the plane, like it was this thing they were caring for day by day, somehow watching it grow. It seemed Francis was coming around - they were actually on a name-to-name basis rather than incredibly formal 'Lieutenant Bradshaw' and 'Lieutenant Montez' callings. It was actually kind of nice. Annie knew Francis still held her bearings about everything, but she was more receptive and open-minded than she had been a few days back.

“So, how’d you get wrapped up in all this?” Francis said turning to Annie, a slightly darkened look in her eyes, “Some stupid bet, couldn’t handle a joke from a sick fucko back home? I’ll do you one better, an old boyfriend who thinks he’s God’s greatest gift-“

"Joined the WAC," Annie said, rather unceremoniously - not like her mother had been pleased, so Annie was just used to the lackluster of it all because of that fact (no one had been excited for such a thing, for someone like her, from where she was from), "started ferrying planes - fuel reloads, supply drops. Seems they liked me in the higher ups. Now I'm here." Francis watched her for a moment, smoke lingering up from the butt of her cigarette. With their uniforms on, they both actually looked half-decent - no pilot gear and uniform looking mangled from a mission, no sweat, burnt pieces of hair, frozen eyebrows and bloodied cheeks. Just like normal people for once.

“You know, I like that for you,” Francis said, “I had some guy tell me I could never pilot a plane. Showed him up.” Annie smirked from behind her aviators at Francis - quite the character, she could hold her own and had no problem telling it how it was. Yeah, Annie was already sold, even if Francis wasn't sold on her.

“So. The WAC. Do tell.” Francis said, pointing at her.

“Well, I did translating for a good period of time before I was wrapped up in flying. Gotta say if the opportunity had been presented, I would've stuck with it.”

“Whatcha translating?”

“German, French…tried to get a handle on Russian. Still trying my best with that.”

“Damn, Bradshaw,” Francis said before pointing a finger at her, “what the hell did that have to do with flying?”

“They said we couldn’t do it.” Annie offered back, crossing her arms and shrugging, "That sorta stuff you listen to, even if you don't want to. And then you do, even if they think you can't."

"Birdie really would've loved you." Francis said, the first real genuine smile growing on her face as she crossed her arms, "Wanna see inside?"

Climbing up into the belly of the plane, the lingering silence hit her like bricks, the feeling inside the fort. What had happened here. What they all knew had happened her; what the women of Silver Bullets had experienced. What had Montez said to let them know their pilot was dead? That she had to take control of the plane and the body was in the front seat? What mind-fuck had they gone through to wrap their minds around that fact?

"Pretty isn't it?" Francis said from behind her, briefly patting the edge of one of the seats as they both moved towards the cockpit.

"She's beautiful." Annie said, adjusting herself in the left side of the cockpit, running her hands along the buttons and the wheel and the edges of the window, "Really, it's a beautiful plane."

Glancing back at Francis, she noticed the woman far-off it seemed, eyes glazed, staring somewhere out to the hazy horizon. Annie slowly brought her focus forward again - Birdie had died here. Right where Annie was sat. It was a wonder Francis could even walk up here again - Annie gave her a lot of credit.

"Well," Francis started, blowing breath from her lips, a quick smile darting onto her lips, "we'll have plenty of time to admire this bucket of bolts in the coming days, for now…we oughta get ourselves to the dining hall. Breakfast. Ain't they say it's the most important meal of the day?"

Francis' voiced trailed off somewhere between her talking about breakfast and saying how she thought the most important meal of the day was actually dessert. Annie stood there for a moment, in the middle of the plane, lingering in the stillness, the plane that had launched that crew up into the sky and came back down without a pilot. Who still stood tall and strong, right here, right now.

Annie tried to clear her mind. She hopped out of the plane, landing beside Francis, rather gracefully, and looked up at the co-pilot in the morning sun, who was grinning like a goose at her.

"How many missions you been on?" Annie asked Francis, genuinely curious. She was trying to connect the dots from the incident to now. Had they been up in the plane after what had happened? With a new replacement that hadn't made the cut? How many had Birdie been on?

"Only two." Francis said with a slightly constrained look, before seeming to shrug it off as they made way towards the dining hall, "They wouldn't allow us to go with any of the replacements until we did a practice run or two. As you can see, those didn't go too well." Annie glanced at Francis and evidently saw the stress running rampage through her. It was evident in her face, in the way she spoke - she wanted something to work, she wanted to get in the sky again, she needed something to go right for the first time.

"If I get the position. Officially, that is," Annie started, looking up at Francis, "I intend to keep Silver Bullets as one of the best B-17s in the air. With the crew we've got, the co-pilot," Francis smiled, "I don't doubt that. Birdie had the crew for a reason." Francis watched her, a bit of sentimental air wafting through them as Francis reached out and squeezed her shoulder.

"You're a good one, Bradshaw," Francis said and Annie quirked out a smile, "c'mon."

Entering the dining hall - Annie realized quickly it was only for officers and high-ranking officials when she saw the likes of Major Cleven and Major Egan at a table together, huddled over some coffee alongside Kidd, Crank and DeMarco.

"Here we go." Francis said, leading Annie towards the center strip of table, covered in a white tablecloth, filled with all sorts of baskets of goods, utensils, coffee and mugs, "Usually, you can just get it served to you. But. Figured you'd want to see the spread, huh?" Annie's eyes widened at the assortment of things as Francis gently gave her shoulder a tap.

"I'll get us a table, get your fill, I'll get the food." Francis said before walking off, giving a wave to a few, fellow officers down a few rows of tables, bee-lining towards the food line.

Annie stood quietly for a moment, her eyes running over the length of the table in slight amusement and wonder. Growing up, she never had the sort of luxury as much as simple things like sugar or cream - even in coffee. Coffee was usually black, and a little watered down (it saved them from having to buy so many coffee grounds, you know?), and usually it was bitter. But you washed it down because it was what you had.

Now - there was sugar, cream, honey, biscuits for dipping, actual cloth napkins, a little spoon just for stirring! Gently, she touched the white tablecloth, the soft texture something so delicate and foreign to her in ways someone shouldn't have to think of.

Tablecloths were rough, scratchy and torn where she came from.

Here - they were soft, cream and stitched.

Annie retracted her hand and instead focused on the coffee.

Coffee.

Sometimes all she wanted day in and day out was coffee.

Reaching forward, she picked up a mug and cradled it in her hands - it was still warm, like it had just been freshly cleaned, straight from the hot water.

Annie had remembered feeling out of place before - plenty of times had she done things in her life where being the odd one out was normal for her. But now - even with just beautiful tablecloths and hot coffee mugs - she felt like being the odd one out was something she had to address. Right now.

Glancing around, officers and officials at the tables weren't looking at her (of course, they wouldn't be, why would they, this is normal for them), but for her, being in a place like this? With things like this? Annie set the mug down and then looked at the pot of steaming coffee. She debated. Did she need the cup of coffee?

"Hey," a voice said from somewhere to her left, causing her to turn away from the coffee pot and towards the voice, finding Lieutenant John Brady there, a smile on his face, as he slowly removed his crusher cap, "Bradshaw, right? New pilot for Silver Bullets?" A smile popped onto Annie's face as she suddenly took in that it was that pilot - from a day or two back - John Brady.

A part of her had been wondering when she'd see him again or even just around. He'd been nice, hospitable, and had a funny sense of humor she could get behind. People like that you wanted in your back pocket. Even if all she knew was his name and that he had a nice face.

"Yes. Annie Bradshaw." she said, unable to help her ever-present mannerisms and held out her hand (as if they hadn't met a few days ago and they'd all but tag-teamed Major Egan), "….uh, Brady?" He grinned - she knew it was him too, she couldn't forget a face like that, but she wanted to test the waters. Give a bit of it back.

"Brady. John Brady." he said, reaching forward to shake her hand, smile growing on his own face, "How's it been going? Hopefully Egan wasn't bearing too hard after your introduction a few days ago." Annie laughed - almost a bit nervously and awkwardly - trying to make impressions was something she was never great with, but things usually weighed in her favor at the end of the day.

"No, no, it was fine, really," Annie said, as she slowly dropped his hand, a slight tinge of warmth pooled in her stomach at the thought of his hand again - and the fact that was the second time she had even touched his hand, "Major Egan is definitely quite the character."

"That he is." Brady said with a laugh, shoving his hands in his pockets, nodding to her aviators in her front pocket, "Busy day?"

"Francis' showed me Silver Bullets," Annie said with a nod and a smile, "she's a beautiful plane." Brady smiled at her and then glanced over Annie's shoulder at Francis, before readjusting his eyes on her.

"That crew's really glad you're here," Brady said, face falling slightly, "after what happened…." Annie nodded to fill in the gapping hole of words.

"I'm giving them my all. After everything." Annie said quietly and Brady nodded, watching her, something in his lingering gaze a comfort in a way she would never make out, "Well, don't let me be in your way-"

"No, no not at all," Brady said quickly with a nod, "coffee drinker?"

"Yeah," she said, reaching up to run her hand along her hot collar a bit - almost like she couldn't get her mind in gear properly, "never did have much of any of these sorts of fixings back home, so….to say the least, I'm pretty stoked to try it out." She looked back to Brady who was watching her with a quiet look on his face, a soft grin riding his cheeks as he reached forward and took his own mug.

"You said you were from Mankato? Minnesota?" he asked her as she reached forward and picked up the pot of coffee and began pouring.

"Yeah," she said, turning to look at him as she poured, "didn't have a whole lot, but…it was home." There was a twinge of pain to that word. Home. Her mind blanked for a moment, before she was hearing a voice in her ear and her hand was burning.

"Look at you! You're spilling coffee. Here, here-" Annie blinked and turned her eyes and found Brady slowly removing the coffee pot from her grasp, the mug overflowing with hot coffee there on the starch table clothes, stained with dark puddles of drying liquid, her heart pounding. She watched frozen as Brady grabbed some napkins to dab at it, before looking to her gaze again.

"You okay there?" he asked her, placing a hand on her shoulder, "Didn't mean to batter you with questions, I swear my folks just raised me like that, questions and all-

""No." Annie said quickly, shaking her head and looking at her hand stained with hot coffee and gave a nervous smile, cheeks turning a bit pink, "I got….distracted. About home and this place. It's…it's all good. Sorry. About the coffee. And now the damn table cloths." Brady chuckled and took his hand off her shoulder and grabbed the empty mug and poured the coffee to a reasonable amount before handing it to her.

"Don't you worry, Little Birdie," he said with a smile, "it's a big place here. Lots to look at, get distracted by. Being so far from home anyway, that is. I'll let the cooks know-"

"Little Birdie?" she said, interrupting his train of thought. Brady grinned.

"You're a lot like Birdie. Captain Faulkner. You remind me of her, ya know? So - Little Birdie." he said with a smile, "Much better than Egan calling you No Name, too." Annie let out a laugh and nodded.

"Yeah, way better." she said and Brady smiled. For a moment, they stared at each other before Annie cleared her throat and looked at the coffee cup and back up at him.

"I'll be-"

"Your hand okay-" The two looked at each other before letting out a few nervous laughs.

"You first." Annie said, "Rank does its duties."

"We're both Lieutenants, Bradshaw."

"You're 1st. I'm 2nd." she said with a smile, "So?" Brady smirked, before the corner of his eyes and lips softened.

"Your hand okay? The coffee was pretty hot." he said softly and she nodded.

"Fine." she said, "Had cuts and bruises worse than this. Climbed trees as a kid." Brady watched her, brow peaked in interest. She smirked. "Also fell out of a lot of trees, too, so….all good." Brady let out a chuckle at her words, watching expectantly as she cleared her throat.

"And yes…..I was just going to be going. Don't want to hold you up." she said and then looked up at him. "I'll see you around?"

"Yeah, of course," Brady said, "probably flying club, right?" Annie raised a brow.

"Flying club?" She really was quite clueless on more than she thought.

"Drinks, dancing, music - get the tension out of your shoulders sorta thing." he said, another grin growing, "So, I'll probably see ya tonight?"

"Right." Annie said with a smile, holding the mug close to her, forgetting about cream or sugar, "Sounds good to me. I'll see you around. Thanks. Sorry again." And with that, she was turning away, slightly mortified at her clear inability to pour coffee efficiently. She hurried towards Francis at a table with their food, slamming her body and the mug of coffee down, meeting Francis' slightly annoyed gaze at the rough presence announced.

"You okay?" Francis asked her, eyeing the coffee and Annie's face again, "You look a little flustered. Hey, you drink black coffee?" Annie looked between the coffee and Francis and then sighed again.

"I meant to grab…." Annie looked over her shoulder and watched as Brady poured some cream into his own coffee cup - the one she had previously overflowed, to her own mortifying realization - and was now wandering away with, sipping it ever so gently, settling into a spot beside DeMarco. A pair of fingers snapped in front of her face and she turned quickly to look at Francis.

"Grab what? The LT's attention or a donut?" Francis said, before chuckling at Annie's slightly flustered expression and chuckled, "I'm just kidding you, c'mon, let's eat up. I think we're doing a practice run, just us girls - maybe with Just-A-Snappin', too." Francis bit into a piece of toast, "Harding wants to see us in the air. 'Longside another crew."

"Alright." Annie said with a nod, "We can make that happen." Francis smiled.

"Good," Francis said, "now, eat up. Don't need my pilot going hungry in the cockpit. Might have to feed you some of Margie's crushed up peanuts she's always carrying around-"

"Oh God." Annie murmured, "Bessie warned me….briefly…"

"Yeah, they're a goddamn curse on that thing, but she swears on it. Superstitious that one is." Annie chuckled at Francis' words and they continued to eat and discuss their day. Annie couldn't help but think of it all though - porcelain, silk and starch.

Everything and all things.

When you came from nothing, things like that were practically gold.

[pudding-parade]

@echoweaver

Figured I'd do this this way instead of adding to the comment pile. :) I should've made a separate post with my whining, but…meh. What's done is done.

But yeah, not so much "medical drama" as just…stuff. I had a liver transplant in September. I haven't specifically talked much about it here because...I don't know. I guess I thought if I didn't talk about it it would be less...I don't want to say "depressing," because I'm not depressed, and I don't want to conflate being temporarily down in the dumps with depression. Maybe "difficult" is the right word.

Anyway...I've needed a transplant for about 10 years, my original having been badly damaged by asymptomatic hepatitis C that I unknowingly had, until the damage started making me really sick. I probably originally contracted it from a blood transfusion I had in the 80s, before they tested donated blood for Hep C. Medication as well as a special diet and supplements helped with the symptoms of a failing liver for a while, but this past spring things started to go downhill more quickly and the meds, etc. weren't helping as much.

I had a matching living donor, a relative of my husband's, who wanted to do it and who was finally approved for it. (She'd been deemed too young before.) And I was at the point of, "Do it now or else you won't be healthy enough later to survive the surgery/recovery." So, I did it. And like I said, I know it will be good in the long run, but right now it just kind of sucks. (Though it is nice to be not quite so yellow. I actually have eye whites now, yay! And I look less like a character from The Simpsons. Also also, I can legitimately say that I'm part Mexican now. LOL )

I'll spare you/everyone the gorier details, but I spent almost three weeks (as opposed to the one-week-or-so that's normal for transplants) in the ICU due to rejection issues (which is why my immunosuppressant dose was very high), and then once finally released I was under a "no contact" rule. As in, no contact with anyone but my husband, who was also not allowed contact with other people or else he wouldn't be allowed contact with me. (Thank goodness DoorDash exists now or I don't know what we would have done for food.) The only time I could leave this place was to go directly to a car to be driven directly to a doctor's office where they have a special process/set-up for people in my situation, and it's just nuts. People who went batty during covid lockdowns had it easy compared to this.

So it's been….rough. I don't really care about not being able to see people so much, frankly, but I do not like being cooped up inside. My latent claustrophobia has become not-so-latent of late. At home, I can sit out on the deck or I can wander about or ride my horse for miles in the wilderness without seeing another soul, but not here in a city. Cities suck. If I'd had more time to arrange things I would've at least rented a place with a patio/balcony, but since it was very short-notice, what we have is the best we could get, and it's not very good.

The good news is it's getting better. My immunosuppressant dosages are being lowered and I have no signs of rejection yet, so… *fingers crossed* And I'm down to twice-a-week appointments instead of literally every weekday. So, as of this past Friday I'm now allowed incidental contact, which means I can walk the streets or be at outdoor venues if I stay away from people, especially children (because they go to day care/school and tend to carry all sorts of interesting illnesses), as much as possible, but I can't be indoors for long periods with lots of people, so no stores, movie theaters, restaurants, etc. But this is why we're considering a zoo trip tomorrow. My doctors probably would consider it more than "incidental contact," but at least it's outdoors, close by, and it shouldn't be too crowded since it's winter and the kids aren't out of school for Christmas yet. They also have wheelchair or scooter rentals, so I don't have to walk the whole thing, and I would just be happy to be out in an environment other than a doctor's office for a day. So, I'm pretty sure we're going to do it. Because fuck it.

But anyway. Yeah, I'm trying to be more active online. It was hard for a while because with a giant healing abdominal incision and bruised-up everything, sitting up for long periods of time was a no-go, but I'm doing much better on that front. I've actually been playing No Man's Sky more than Sims, just because it's a space exploration game that makes me feel more like I'm "out there" than Sims does. But, I'm also trying to get back into the simblr momentum. I want to get back to playing the Random Legacy I started, because I can post about that more easily than the weird-o saves I usually play. LOL It's just hard to feel motivated right now, I guess. But we'll get there.

And you know what? For a movie that's supposed to be a comedy, Lilo & Stitch makes me bawl my eyes out. And that scene that I quoted is the "worst" in that regard. But it's still one of my favorite movies. :)

[warden-melli]

Not pokemon related but fuck these last few years have been tough. Been trying to distract myself all night but I think I need to vent for a sec

Trigger warning after the cut

I don’t want to get into details, but my uncle killed himself this morning. I knew something was wrong straight away when my mother randomly turned up with that look on her face. My grandmother was diagnosed with dementia last year, and my grandfather is in kidney failure, so at first I thought something bad and happened to them, but no. It was my uncle.

I spent a lot of today with my dad. My uncle was his little brother, and quite frankly as sad as I am for what happened to my uncle, I’m most worried about my dad right now. Not only did he lose both his father and older sister within the last year or so, but he’s been in pretty poor health himself. He was involved in an accident at work earlier this year involving a chainsaw, and honestly he’s lucky to be alive. PPE did it’s job, but even so he still ended up losing a tooth, and he’s had to have dental/implant surgeries to repair the damage. The last few weeks he’s also been extremely ill having caught Ross River fever from a job site. I have never seen him this sick in my entire life, and it has been extremely distressing seeing him in so much pain. He’s recovering from being sick, but he’s had an absolutely terrible run of luck, and that’s not even all of it. His best friend/brother in law has lung cancer, his sister just had a heart attack after contracting covid, and another of his sisters was just in a major car accident (he’s one of 10 kids btw). Also his pet budgie died last week. I feel horrible for him and I wish I could do something to make it better.

The last few weeks have been really tough. I broke my wisdom tooth, and because I am really bad at telling if/where I’m in pain I kinda tried to live with an exposed nerve for a few weeks before realising that it was serious. I knew something was wrong, but I have tmjd so I just kinda thought it was a chronic pain flare up at first. Like a really bad one, but I tried to ignore it. I had the back of my knee tattooed while dealing with a cracked wisdom tooth oof. After I figured out it wasn’t going to go away I eventually went to the dentist and had it extracted, but that was really hard for me to deal with. I was happy that the sharp pain had gone, but my jaw has been extremely sore since, and I really struggled sensory wise during the healing period. Then I broke my guitar and my fridge broke, so that’s over $1000 on top of the dental bills -_-

Idk life feels really hard lately. Haven’t been able to draw much, and have just been feeling flat in general. And now my uncle has passed and I just feel terrible. I’ll be okay. My sister is due to have a baby within weeks, and I’ve got some good concerts to look forward to, so it’s not all bad. One of my little sisters has been a twenty one pilots fan since she was literally an infant, and she’s finally old enough to see them live and I was able to get her really good tickets. She’s autistic too and has been working on her outfit and making stickers, and every time I see her that’s all she can talk about. I’m so happy for her and that I get to take her. There is good stuff, and good people and as silly as it sounds Melli/Pokemon really helps. He’s so so special to me. I’m glad I have him to focus on

I just needed to get stuff off of my chest, so if you’ve made it this far thanks for listening. Even if no one reads this just typing it out made me feel a bit better. May be a bit less active for a while, might be way more active. Idk how my brain wants to handle this lol

[beelaboola]

authors note: hiiii hellooo, i wrote a thing for my crp oc, esme !! it isnt exactly in her pov but the story is formatted like a blog ask (think of reddit or something) so this is in a pov of a user that encountered her :3

this isnt fully proofread (or thought out well for that matter) so i apologize if my writing sounds confusing :(( word count: 1.3k

A user asked: What was the scariest experience you’ve had?

I can’t seem to get my mind off of the events that happened that one night back at the campsite. Trying to look back, it’s very foggy, to say the least, considering that it has been about a year since the incident; however, I’ll do my best to explain what happened.

A year ago, prior to summer break, my friends and I had planned to hang out at the campsite around the outskirts of our town overnight. Do note that our town is quite small and isolated, surrounded by trees. Our town is known for its forests and rivers, so we thought it would be a good getaway thing to do right after the semester (we are college students) and get away from everything. Looking back, this was a huge mistake. A friend of mine decided that we should invite the rest of our class to the camp. I was hesitant, considering that I’m not too open to hanging around with people I’m barely familiar with. However, because the rest of my group seemed okay with the idea, I had no choice but to agree with it, despite my gut feeling. On the day of the hangout, we had packed everything that we needed for the camp: tents, toiletries, food, and the like. We created a group chat that included the people who planned to attend, just for updates and such; nothing too big.

We finally arrived at the campsite; it wasn’t too far from where I lived, just about a 15-20 minute drive. I parked my car in the remaining parking space available. The campsite was littered with our classmates; probably about 20 of them attended. My girlfriend suggested that I try to mingle with the others; though I wasn’t too keen on it, I didn’t want to push it. I walked over to the group of my classmates hanging around by the tents they’d set up; they were welcoming, luckily. I spoke with them for about half an hour, though there was a person in the group that caught my eye.

This girl seemed reserved, I thought. I saw her around the campus regularly for my criminology classes. She had always kept the left side of her face covered by her hair, though I never questioned why. I always thought it was a fashion trend among the girls. I did hear rumors circulating that she was bullied or something, since there was a period where she suddenly stopped attending classes for a good few months. Some say something happened during the sleepover she had at her friends’ place during winter break, but I’m not entirely sure. She was kind of weird, but pretty nice, from what I had gathered.

The rest of the day we just fucked around, as normal for young adults, and did some activities that we could do at the campsite and whatnot. We gathered around the campfire by dusk; we told those cheesy, scary campfire stories while we made smores. As we listened to their stories, one of my friends stood up to tell theirs; let’s call him Mark. Mark assured us that this was indeed a real story, to which I scoffed, thinking that he was just kidding around. He tells us about how we have this serial killer going around in our town lately, which might’ve explained why there have been disappearances lately. He wasn’t wrong, though. There had been an abundance of missing person posters scattered around town; the person who targeted them seemed to target women the most, though men weren’t off the table. A shiver went down my spine when he told the story. 

He mentioned how police officers were able to find a whole body on the scene, but their faces were missing. That was what set me off. The very thought of a person sick enough to take their victim’s face and just simply leave them there to bleed out made my stomach churn. My girlfriend stood up to tell Mark off, saying that he was scaring the group. We all collectively decided to call it a night as we retreated to our respective tents. I tossed and turned in my sleep, my mind was still stuck on what Mark had said hours prior. During this time, I felt the pit in my stomach grow. You would probably think that I was a bit of a pussy for reacting like this, but I swear, I was justified in it. My girlfriend had left the tent to use the outhouse nearby, telling me that she would be back.

Hours had passed and I still wasn’t able to sleep. I started to grow worried for my girlfriend as it had been about an hour or two since she left. Silence consumed me until I heard her voice, “Love! Can you help me out?” coming from a distance. My girlfriend’s voice. At the time I thought how strange it was for her to call me out that late of a night, what she needed my help for. However, I didn’t think much of it. I stepped out of my tent, my eyes wandering around the camp. From what I can remember, it was dark and quiet. I heard her voice once more to which I followed the source of the sound. It took me a few minutes until I realized how deep into the forest I was in. 

At that time, my mind kept screaming at me to leave the forest immediately. That was when I stepped on something. I looked down and my god, it took everything in me not to scream. It was a body, skinned off of its face. The body was unrecognizable but I knew that it was her, my girlfriend. I recognized those clothes. “Babe! Where are you?” I heard in the distance, to which my fight or flight response triggered. I thought fast and hid behind a boulder, footsteps followed along. That wasn’t my girlfriend, she isn’t alive, I thought to myself. So why the hell could I hear her voice? I wish I never did but I took a peek over the boulder and a cold shiver went down my spine. The person wore a navy blue ushanka with ski goggles and a mask adorned, so I wasn’t able to identify who it was.

From what I can recall, the only defining feature of this person was that they had a burn scar on the side of their face. All I knew at the time was that they had mimicked my girlfriend's voice. The person held a skinner knife, assuming that they also killed her. “Where are you, Nick?” they spoke. I wanted to vomit, I needed to do something. I grabbed a rock and quickly threw it in their direction, which successfully distracted them. I bolted out of the area and didn’t stop until I was sure I was in the clear. They started to chase after me, and I had to scream. My screaming made the killer steer away from my direction, and people at the camp got out of the tent to see what was going on. At that point, I was out of breath. My classmates and friends asked me what was wrong, however I couldn’t form the words for it and passed out.

That was it, I couldn’t remember anything else after that. I woke up in a hospital and tried to explain what happened back in the forest. My friends thought I had gone crazy, however, the details I gave were very similar to the case that the police had been looking into so they conducted an investigation at the campsite. A year later I still think about this incident to this day, I wonder what could have happened if I hadn’t run out of the forest as soon as I could.. I don't think they have caught her yet.

[survey--s]

617.

1. Who was the last person you forgave? How long did it take you to forgive them? I don't remember the last time I felt like I had to forgive someone, to be quite honest.

2. Is going mushroom hunting in the woods something that would interest you? Not really. I wouldn't trust myself to know what was safe.

3. What is your favorite junk food? How about your favorite health food? French fries or proper "chippy chips". Health-wise, I love mango, watermelon and aubergines.

4. Are you listening to anything right now? Do you normally listen to music while you take surveys? I'm watching Below Deck: Down Under. I prefer to watch TV over listening to music but it depends on my mood.

5. What were you doing the last time you hung out with a friend? I went out for coffee with Susie on Sunday morning.

6. Is there anything about you that might cause others to dislike you? Yeah, I'm autistic and I can struggle to relate to people sometimes. I'm not great at reading social cues which can cause problems.

7. Is there anything you’re really particular or specific about, anything that has to be done a certain way every time? Yeah, most things hahah. I'm very routine driven (again, autism) and that's another thing that can cause problems - if things aren't done according to my routine then I can find it really stressful and overwhelming.

8. Are there any chores you need to get done today? We need to sort the bookshelf in the living room so that the BT engineer can access all the sockets tomorrow. I can't do anything about that until Mike's back though as I can't move it alone and the stuff on there isn't mine to move.

9. Where was the last place you went shopping and what did you buy? In person? I went to the supermarket on Sunday to get coffee, muffins and some other random bits. I have my main food shop arriving in an hour though.

10. What was the last big change you made to your physical appearance? I haven't made a big change to my appearance in ages.

11. Are you more likely to shut people out of your life or try to fix things no matter what? I don't really shut people out but equally I'm not someone who's willing to fight for someone who's clearly not that interested.

12. Where was the last place you went out to eat? Is going out something you enjoy or would you rather cook at home? A local pub yesterday. I love going out for meals but it's so expensive these days - I only went yesterday as my mum was paying LOL.

13. If you have any pets, do they seem to notice when you’re sick or sad? Archie definitely seems to understand when I don't feel very well, he always comes for a cuddle and doesn't ask to go for a walk or to play or anything, he just curls up next to me the entire time. The cats don't really give a shit LOL. Layla actually used to sit with me when I had my periods - and always on my stomach so maybe she realised on some level.

15. Is anything you’ve done lately going to matter in a year? Where's question 14? Anyway, yeah, I hope so.

16. What was the subject of your last phone call? I have no idea, I pretty much never talk to anyone on the phone.

17. Are your hobbies something you’d rather do alone or with others? It depends on the hobby. I do surveys and watch TV alone but I love shopping and walking dogs with other people. When I ride I prefer to be with other people too, but more for safety reasons than anything else. I'm rubbish at riding and having a conversation at the same time, hahah.

18. Is there anything about yourself that you’re trying to improve? No, not really. I generally can't be bothered to do much self-improvement, if I'm being honest hah.

19. What are you doing today? Not much. I had a lie-in, took the dog out to explore a new walk, had a shower and since then I've just been watching TV and messing about online. The food shop is arriving in an hour so and then...that's it really.

20. What did you dream about last night? I can't remember it now but I remember waking up and thinking it was a really weird dream.

21. When was the last time you visited with relatives? Do you see extended family often? I saw my mum yesterday but most of my family live in Australia and I've not been back there in about a decade now. It's just too expensive and takes up too much of my annual leave. I last saw some of my Australian family pre-COVID when they visited for a few weeks.

22. What was the last relaxing thing you did? My whole day has been pretty relaxing - I slept in, had a lovely walk with Archie, had a shower and I've just been chilling ever since. I could easily take a nap if I didn't need to sort the shopping soon lol.

23. Will this weekend be better than last weekend? They'll probably be about the same.

24. When was the last time you were there for a friend? I guess just in general recently for Susie - she's been really struggling with Reuben and how tying it is to have a new puppy - especially when she never wanted him in the first place lol.

25. Do you have any jewelry you almost never take off? I never take any of my jewellery off/out unless I'm changing it.

26. What are some of your favorite words? Discombobulation, charisma, eclectic, antidisestablishmentarianism.

27. Do you have any journals from when you were younger? If so, do you ever go back and read them? Nah, I chucked them all out when my parents moved up here. I did re-read them at one point and just cringed - I was so dramatic as a teenager lol.

28. Are there any holidays you used to celebrate, but no longer do? Halloween and Easter, I guess.

29. What was the last occasion for which you dressed up? Uhh. I honestly couldn't tell you - probably my own wedding lol.

30. Is there anything you wish you could say to anyone? Yeah, I guess so.

[fucktherain]

12 April 2024 (Fri) 1:14 pm

ENTRY II

Good afternoon. I’m still really ill. At this point I’ve got a wet towel (that was supposed to be cold but my body heat has made warm) draped on my face and I’m praying to God that this will end soon. I am even considering believing in the divine if I get better. I’m really hungry, but I’ve lost my appetite. I want to eat fresh fruits to feel cooler, amongst other necessary groceries I need / that I’m running out of. I’ve also got a package I need to pick up at the concierge but I really can’t bear the thought of going out. I don’t want to do my makeup (yes I’m quite self conscious and I feel like I look quite bloated) to go out, but I also don’t want to go out bare-faced (even though I know nobody cares). The concierge and the nearest supermarket (Waitrose) are literally like within 2 minutes walk (basically downstairs from me), but I’m feeling absolutely horrible. I’ve showered last night, but I feel so hot and uncomfortable. I’m sorry I’m complaining again, but I have to get it out of my system. I feel like I can’t complain to anyone else in my life because.. who wants to listen to someone complain? And won’t take help? Like, what can you say to that person? I don’t want to inconvenience anyone, and I know it gets irritating, so this is my place to vent.

Possible solutions is to force myself to go out. Get myself together and get what I need, though it’ll exert myself (I can barely get up without feeling faint – I felt like I was about to pass out a few times these past 3 days) and probably feel worse off. Or, I could get an uber delivery from a supermarket and have it delivered right to my door, but I’ll still have to go out because I have a package I need to retrieve. And also, quality of the groceries may be poorer (they don’t care about the quality of what they’re grabbing). I don’t know. But all I know is I’m in so much pain. My throat has gotten really, really sore as well. The first 1 or 1 and a half days it was fine, but now it hurts to swallow and I have green / yellowy phlegm. Yes, gross, but that’s what’s happening.

Also, the other night, I was thinking about how my period’s been a few days late and I got really paranoid. I did a test and I’m fine. Thank god. I’m not pregnant. It would’ve just been absolutely the cherry on top. I probably would’ve really tried to off myself a that point. Sorry for the suicidal joke. I really need to get better with less self-deprecating statements. 

I feel like I need so many things. I bought some makeup to try to make myself feel better, and it’s arriving tonight. But the essentials - like a face ice pack, fuck. I need it. I’m actually heating up so much. This illness feels like it’s been going on for a week already. Okay. Look on the bright side. Without going through this shit, I probably wouldn’t have resolved to get better. The rain will end. Eventually it has to, some way or another.

–

I just walked to my living room window to check the weather and temperature. I still felt faint. But what’s lifting my mood is that it’s actually a nice day. It’s sunny for once, and the temperature seems to be just right. It’s 19C, but it feels a bit warmer (at least from my flat). I might go out. I think I will. I don’t want to waste this sunny Friday afternoon, and it’ll do me some good to get fresh air. I didn’t realize how stagnant the air was in my flat – especially my bedroom. I kept it dark, windows shut, just me and my blankets in bed. I still feel sick as fuck, but I’m going to try. This is a bigger step today for me. See? The doom and gloom does expire. I just needed to change my perspective and wait. 

4:48 pm

I did my groceries and I retrieved the package. Some issues arose with a second package I’m receiving today but it’s fine now. I got a bit stressed out but at least it’s okay now. After unpacking my groceries, I went out again. Since it’s such a nice day out, and I’m still living a 10 minutes’ walk away from the famous Greenwich Park, I took another leap. I think that’s an improvement. I still feel sick but at least I’m out in nature. It’s a bit windy but at least the sun is out. I still feel simultaneously hot and cold. My goal here is to write as a form of self improvement. With me, I have so many thoughts and when it’s all just rattling around inside my skull, I just go stir crazy because I’m not really processing them. And historically, writing it all down helps because there’s a sort of… logical process to it. I don’t know if anyone else gets what I’m saying. But historically, it’s been helpful for me. Also, I can’t talk to anyone about my problems. The only one that can help me is me. I feel like I’m at a high risk of sounding very cliche. I’m sitting at a bench but I feel really self conscious with all the people walking past me. I think I’m going to move.

7:24 pm

I bought a book and got my second package. At the park, my boyfriend messaged me asking if I was free. I said yes. He told me to go to his. I didn’t want to get him sick, so I asked him if he was sure. He assumed that I got over my illness. Eventually, the conversation got to the point where he said ‘if we don’t talk we’ll fall apart’. I know that. I just felt like he didn’t want me around and that he needed his space. I always want to be with him. I want to talk to him always. I want everything to turn out well. I was just waiting for him. So I got home. I’m still in physical pain. 

But at least today I can say I:

journalled

got out of my flat (for the first time in 3 days)

did my makeup (in less than 2 hours!)

got 2 packages

threw out trash

went to the park

got the necessary groceries

I am proud of myself for setting goals and surpassing them. I honestly thought I’d just be getting groceries and the packages, but I did much more than that. I think my reward for today was the packages. I’m very happy with my purchases. I’m grateful that I have them. I am trying and doing my best, and that is enough. Only I can save myself.

[plagues02]

Coming Out

Summary: Momo noticed that Ryoma wasn't at practice, and later learned he was also not at school. He decided to check on Ryoma on his way home. Characters: Ryoma Echizen, Takeshi Momoshiro Word Count: 1081

“Where’s Ryoma?” Momo asked, looking around the tennis court.

Practice started about fifteen minutes ago, and they would normally have a few stragglers who joined late for various reasons. Momo knew this well as he was often one of them, but it was rare for Ryoma to be late, unless there was something else school related he was assigned to.

His under classmate looked over at him from where he was practicing his swing. “He wasn’t in class today,” he replied.

Momo raised an eyebrow and wondered to himself. He decided he would go by Ryoma’s house on his way home to check on him. He couldn’t help but worry for Ryoma, especially when he noticed the young man didn’t look the greatest the day before during the practice.

The rest of practice went on as normal, but it did feel a little off without their smallest starter around. Momo waved goodbye to the others after showering and grabbing his school bag. He knew the route to Ryoma’s house well since he’s rode it multiple times before.

Momo didn’t think the visit would take long. After all, he was just seeing if Ryoma was sick or not, and if he was sick, he wanted to see how the younger man was doing.

When he pulled up to the house, he noticed the two cars that belonged to Ryoma’s family weren’t at the house. That meant either Ryoma was home alone or that he wasn’t at home. If he wasn’t at home, that would make this visit quicker. Momo stopped his bike by the gate and kicked down the stand before walking up to the front door. He noted that Ryoma’s window was closed as he knocked on the door.

It felt like a few minutes before the door finally opened. It was probably only a minute, but it felt much longer. There stood Ryoma, dressed in sweatpants and an old t-shirt. He has seen better days. The boy’s eyes widened at the sight of his teammate.

“Momo! What are you doing here?”

The older boy could tell the other was nervous by his tone. He also looked tense, staring up at his friend. Ryoma shifted on his feet as Momo rubbed the back of his neck.

“You weren’t at practice, and Horio said you also weren’t in class. I, um, just wanted to come check on you,” explained Momo.

Ryoma got quiet, nodding. He couldn’t meet Momo’s eyes, causing Momo to worry even more. Before Momo could open his mouth to ask what was wrong, Ryoma’s legs gave out.

The older boy caught him, noticing how his legs were shaking. Momo frowned, and his body moved before his brain caught up. He helped Ryoma back into the house and started to walk to the nearby dining room table to get him to sit.

“Momo,,, can you help me to my room?”

“Huh? Oh yeah.”

Momo changed his path to Ryoma’s room without another word. He had been in there a few times, mainly to play video games on their days off. He supposed if Ryoma was feeling this unwell, then his bed would be more comfortable.

When they got to his room, the older boy sat Ryoma down on his bed. Ryoma couldn’t meet Momo’s eyes, and his cheeks were pink.

“,,, so you’re sick. I’ll leave and let you rest,” Momo went to leave, not wanting to make Ryoma any more uncomfortable than he already was.

Ryoma bit his lip, wondering if he should say anything. There were many things running through his head. When Momo got to the door and was about to leave, he made up his mind.

“I’m not sick.”

Momo paused, looking back at the younger boy.

“,,,You don’t need to say anything if you don’t want to, Ryoma. You obviously don’t feel well so I’m not going to push you,” he gave a small smile.

“,,,” Ryoma stared up at him before a sigh left his lips. He looked away as he said something; it was very quiet.

Momo tilted his head a little. “I didn’t quite hear you. What was that?” His tone was very worried.

“I’m on my period.”

The room got quiet. Momo looked at the door before back to Ryoma. He took a step away and closed the door, despite knowing the house was empty, before walking closer to the other side of the room. He spun around Ryoma’s desk chair and sat down.

Ryoma couldn’t meet Momo’s eyes again. He stared down at his hands in his lap, and his cheeks were starting to turn pink again. Momo stared at the younger boy.

“I-I’m not a-”

“So you’re trans?” Momo cut him off; Ryoma’s head snapped up. “What? You’re a trans man, no big deal,,, So your period is that bad, huh?”

The younger boy froze, staring ahead at Momo with wide eyes. He opened and closed his mouth, trying to make words come out, but nothing would escape his lips. Ryoma gave up and responded with a nod. This definitely wasn't the reaction he expected.

Momo relaxed his body, picking up on how nervous Ryoma was. He gave a soft smile. “You know,” he started. “You’re not the only trans man on the team.”

Ryoma tilted his head, knowing he wouldn’t be able to speak. Momo gave a small huff sound before continuing, “Yeah, the rest of the team knows. Sorry, we never said anything; We honestly thought you knew Kaido was trans.”

The younger boy’s eyes widened as he processed it. No words were able to come out of his mouth still; he got like this sometimes in high stress. He couldn’t help it, and Momo knew this.

Momo stood up from his seat and reached over. He ruffled Ryoma’s hair and gave him a smile. “Don’t worry, Ryoma. I won’t tell anyone about this. Come out when you’re ready. Thank you for trusting me.”

The underclass mate looked up at him and smiled back. Momo chuckled softly. “I should get going. See you in a few days, Ryoma.”

Ryoma nodded in response as his upper classmate gave one last ruffled before he left. The boy was left alone to process what happened.

Before cramps could take over again, he laid back in his bed. Ryoma’s eyes drooped as he decided to take a nap, happy knowing his team wouldn’t date him for being trans.

He wasn’t ready to come out to the whole team, but it was a start.

[weed-ols]

Reviewing Every UKISS Release: By Unpopular Demand ~ CONTI UKISS

Welcome aboard this hell ride, Kiseop! You're not getting off until 2019, and even then you're never really gone before throwing yourself back into the fray in 2022! You're here for forever now!

The hard and pitiful struggle era is over, they've discarded the good and cute boy image, and are now into their edgy woman-hating bad boy period because that's actually what was kind of in at the time. Gone are the perms, bowties, and sweatervests, and enter confidence-bestowing guyliner, entire bottles of hairspray to hold their aggressive sideparts, and attempts to look brooding

CONTI UKISS - 3rd Mini Album | 2009.11.06

So I don't remember when this dropped, but I do remember that I started listening to them shortly after they released this. Now, I wasn't too young to be on the internet, but too young to find browsing forums interesting, however I do remember my sister and brother both being into them, and their friends at school too. I think if you go check some old LiveJournal pages, this is around the time they really started popping off.

Kiseop is now in because NH thought having another flower boy would help boost their popularity, and you know, in typical NH fashion, they give him like 2 seconds of singing, and tell him his job is just to dance and look pretty. My gosh, did he ever look pretty, so pretty that even little almost-a-tweenie me picked him out to be my new delusional celebrity crush. Who needs lines when you look that pretty? Mind you, I still was very normal about them at this time. I liked ManManHaNi, but I didn't love it to the point of being not-normal about them. That happened around 0330, if you care.

We're also now entering the Quintessential UKISS Sound™ era, which is really just what a lot of pop music at this time sounded like - lots of stylistic autotune, the heavy dance beats, lyrics all about partying and/or angry love songs. This entire mini album basically encapsulates that late 2009-early 2010 pop sound, and I love that for them.

ManManHaNi, as we know, saved their careers not once, but twice, and will probably continue to be their lifeline until we all turn to dust, and maybe even after that. So yeah, I have a very love-hate relationship with this song because I'm very grateful that it was their big break and memorable enough to keep them around for so long, but like I'm also just really sick of hearing it.

Intro | YouTube Music 6.2k | Spotify 5.6k

Even though it has that autotune sound, it still sounds out of place because of how lowkey the music is lol

"shawty" #2

"Shake ya booty left and right" great one liner by Xander

Very well balanced intro, it actually does feel like a more-than-two-person collaborative effort between Soohyun, Kevin, Xander, Eli, and I think Kiseop who gets to whisper-sing "shake shake shake it shake it"

It could be Kibum, but I'm 99% sure it's Kiseop from how soft the voice is

Is this the precursor to Rock Ya' Body?

7.5/10 I liked it, but it's not a wowing banger like Pump Pump or On Fire.

ManManHaNi (Audio) | YouTube Music 12M | Spotify 1.38M

If I'm being honest, I don't even think it's possible for me to give much of a coherent opinion on this

Like I said before, I'm always a little happy to hear MMHN because you know, it made my boys famous and saved their careers, but like I'm also super sick of this song

Deadass this is on none of my playlists other than my Complete UKISS Discography one because it has to be

Okay I have the JP version on a couple, but that's because I actually bought their 2016 compilation album, and I'm sure as hell gonna get my money's worth of it

The opening evokes some visceral feeling I can't quite name

"Bad girl", "crazy girl", what have women done to you boys??!?

Also lol things UKISS have called me in one song - baby girl, bad girl, crazy girl, yeougateun/foxy girl

Since I basically never listen to the plain audio of MMHN, and usually only hear it when I watch their live shows and whatever, I was actually expecting to hear Hoon for the third verse, so imagine my surprise when I hear Kibum

"Love's final round" such an iconic line, thank you, Soohyun

The random cat noise during Eli's rap always takes me out

"You make me pissed off!" literally pops into my head randomly all the time, Eli's one liners never disappoint

I guess it's the 4th verse, but yeah the verse right after Eli's rap is sooo cursed

Someone on Twitter did a compilation of it a while ago, and there's like 6 different versions of it

I do like it though, the rhyming is cute, and Dongho, Kiseop, and Kibum do all have vaguely similar voices - soft and weak-sounding

Both of Xander's rap verses are also uniquely cursed, courtesy of that same Twitter user, there's like 6-7 different people who've done it

Anyway, standard "UKISS break up song where they also kinda hate women but lowkey also still sound a little in love" song

Unsurprisingly, a Soohyun and Kevin duet with features by Eli and Xander, and a featuring feature of Kibum, and Dongho and Kiseop were there

For real, how do you put a guy into a group and then only give him one word for his debut

Uh 7.25/10 I don't actually know because I don't even think I can fake an objective rating for this. It's a catchy and fun aggressive dance song, I don't know what else to say. The autotune makes it difficult for Soohyun and Kevin to have these standout vocal moments, and they obviously sound great, the rapping is kinda cringe but also kinda iconic, people were present, I don't know I've heard this song a million times against my will.

ManManHaNi (MV) | Official MV 1.1M | Fan Upload 1.8M

Why was the official one only uploaded 2 years ago?

I actually don't remember if we all just watched the fan upload or if there was another official MV because I haven't watched this at all in like 10 years

Love that official MV only goes up to 720p give us low budget please

And the 720p is giving 360p, perhaps a very generous 480p look

Was this shot on the same famous expensive camera they used for Shut Up!!

We've also abandoned having a plot for this MV it's just them dancing and trying to look hot (or in Kiseop's case, just actually being hot)

The stupid blurry-to-focus shots are sending me

Oh these outfits are legendary, peak 2009 bad boy looks with unnecessary bondage gear, hair so styled they could survive a typhoon, pasty your-lips-but-actually-too-cool-toned lipstick, and guyliner so thick that raccoons are jealous

The pants, the boots, it was hot it was fresh it was 2009

This is such a dramatic hairstyle, and I like the colour

This was actually so chic for the time though - the super long bangs covering one eye, the streaks, so 2009

Kiseop, looking amazing as always in the back with the quintessential bad boy flower boy hair

And Soohyun with a very standard 2009 male idol hair, but a little edgier

Blond is not Eli's colour, I'm sorry but I hate that they made him blond so much from 2009-2013 because I think he looks best with dark hair, or that red hair from PaNiC!

And I'm also not a fan of the hairstyle he had from 2009-2010, he looks best with it styled away from his face because then his eyes get emphasized

Xander is rocking a tall wannabe-slightly-off-centre pompadour

Dongho has what I've seen described as a 'baby bonfire' (and it's even red!!!)

I'm gonna go off on a rant real quick, but I actually hate Full Blondie!Kevin so much

I don't know what it is, but he's only had one full blond look that I didn't hate when they did the Love On U MV

I hate his blond hair in MMHN, I hated it Alone, I'm not counting the blond/caramel highlights from 2014~2015, and I hate his blond hair right now

Something about it makes me react like an aggressive possum

It washes him out a lot, especially if the colour is super light like in MMHN, and the lipstick (or lack thereof) isn't really doing him any favours

At least this blond look is styled to not show off the hairline because speaking as someone with a similar skin tone and large forehead, blond roots make us look like we're balding

Moving on, the shoulder dance is so iconic

The heel bouncing, the 'ripping my heart out of my chest and throwing it away' choreo, legendary I tell you

This is such a funny shot and I think it's because the lipstick is making him look like sick Victorian child

The random shots of Kevin in the car are killing me like why is it yellow? Could NH not get like a cool red car, a sleek black car, or what?

He's not even driving what are you doing where are you going

I like his silver jacket though I wouldn't wear it, but I like it

Also, Kevin's heavily styled hair just flapping around while they dance because it's so long, but also not even losing its shape is great

Oh, I really unironically love these outfits I'm a sucker for suits/suit-adjacent looks

Kevin's sparkly blue dress shirt is great, and the sublte blue details everyone has

Eli and goofy hats, almost as iconic as Eli and terrible one-liners

Isn't this the same alley set they used when they filmed Quit Playing? It also kinda looks like Love On U too

Love that the direction here is clearly 'look brooding'

Kibum posed the hell outta that shot, good for him

Can't make out their expressions, but Xander and Kiseop look like they're serving something

Soohyun and Kevin are making me laugh, as always like why are you both trying to look cool by the wall

I love Kibum's random scarf so much like you don't understand

It's so random, so out of place, and he's working the hell out of it to look brooding and cool

And so with the fashion zeitgeist at the time we were really accessorizing everything with anything just because we could

"YEOUGATEUN GIRL" you will always be famous

More peak emo bad boy flower boy idol shots

I love how this MV is also clearly low budget too, but feels less cheap than its predecessors just because they spent all the budget on clothes, hairstyling tools, Kibum's scarf, and the car they only used for like 3 shots

There's about 3-4 sets used here - the warehouse set where they shot most of the group dance, did some solo shots against the white brick wall, and probably the car scene too; the wood panel room where they did the other solo shots, the white backdrop for the rest of the group dance, and they narrow alley that I think actually might just be a part of the warehouse set

7.25/10 There's not as much to make fun of compared to the other two, and not as much to cringe at. Yes I cringed at Blond!Kevin, but that's personal beef and not an actual sin, and honestly, it just feels like such a 2009 boy group MV. No plot, just dancing and solo shots where they attempt to smoulder with varying degrees of success

ManManHaNi (Stages) | Highest viewed stage 772k Music Core

Like the MV, I don't think I've watched any of their music stages for MMHN in years (not including the MMTG stage, and concert stages, obviously)

So I tried to find the earliest stage of this, and what I got was an Inkigayo one dated 091108, so let's do that one first then the HD MuCore one

Firstly, this choreo was made for Dongho, like he's so effortlessly arrogant it's amazing

Secondly, I love the opening choreo of them just kind of rolling their necks and fixing their clothes it's so fitting

It's only 480p, but bear with me. Love 5/7 of these outfits I'm a huge fan of the military-esque top, and tell those don't look like something a boy group would wear nowadays

I like the weird culotte-cut pants because this is the transition era between baggy 2000s pants to the skintight look of the 2010s

Thank you stylists for giving the right people the sleeveless tops

It's all sooooo late 2000s bad boy - the black/gold colour scheme, the random embellishments like they were just attacked by a craft store, the dramatic visual kei-inspired hair, the gloves, the boots, the thick guyliner, I love it

Unfortunately, they still have those pasty lips :/

That part is so aggressive it's so 2009 that was trendy

Love love love his jacket it's absolutely gorgeous, and I bet they blew the entire comeback budget on it

The camera dude zooming in on Kibum every time they do the MMHN bit before quickly zooming out is sending me

I like his top too - less embellished than Kevin's but still a very stylish military tunic

I like the less blond look, but still don't love it. I'm also kinda torn on whether I like his outfit or not since I love the epaulette and chains, but I'm not a fan of the vest

Same thing with Kiseop I like the aiguillette and gold lining, but I think the cut of the top is just bland

Xander's is borderline because it's so overly-embellished that it compensates for the simple top

Why do they all look mildly frightened here

Also, I think Xander and Kibum are both wearing some kind of weird black/gold cloth around their waist? Or maybe it's from their tops? I don't know but it's flapping around

Not the camera pulling away when Xander does his fox sign why do you hate me

Kevin is particularly committed to this shoulder shimmy of MMHN like it's not that the others are slacking, but he's just doing it super aggressively

It's definitely live, you hear Soohyun and Kevin loud and clear, the rapping was live, Kiseop and Kibum were quiet but live, and the only part I think was lipsynced/had a super loud backing track was Dongho's bit but that's like a single word

On to the MuCore one so I can actually judge the dancing a bit more and see perhaps more than 8 pixels

It's not important but I like the starting shot on the disco ball

The bondage outfits!!!!

Dongho's slightly off-the-shoulder jacket is such a good design choice like I don't know if they tailored it to do that, or taped/pinned it or what, but it emphasizes the shoulder shimmies soooo well

I don't know what they did to Eli's hair I don't think his bleach would've washed out to that colour so quickly, and it's just such a weird colour

Actually love the "grabbing my heart and throwing it away" choreo

You can see who has good back flexibility and who doesn't lol

I'm surprised Eli didn't go lower because he's crazy flexible in his back as we saw in We Are Dating; not surprised about Kevin we know he can fold himself into a suitcase; Kiseop's pretty good from what I can see, not surprised about Dongho, Kibum, and Xander

Actually maybe Eli just didn't go low because he's not as committed to the bit as Kevin and Kiseop

Okay, I'll be fair it's equal parts flexibility and core strength, and I'm still not surprised by who's uber committed

ELI WHAT ARE YOU WEARING

Also oh my god his eyes are huge here

Dongho, Kiseop, and Kevin all serving face here, good for them

Tell me this choreo wasn't made for Dongho he's absolutely killing it

Soohyun looks a little pained

I know they need a wide stance for the heel bounces, but can we talk about how wide Kibum is? Love that for him

Another one of my favourite bits of MMHN

Circle formations in dances are always fun to do and interesting to watch

Kevin wags his finger a lot it's pretty funny

"YEOUGATEUN GIRL" come on camera guy just zoom in on xander for his moment

Looks like Soohyun's about to shove Dongho aside

And an unflattering mid-transition shot of Kevin

Camera guy is struggling to pick who to zoom in on for the final chorus

You know, I felt like I knew the MMHN dance from all those concerts and shows, but it turns out there's chunks of choreo they've simplified or just straight up discarded over the years

There's a whole bit with all the non-Soohyun members after Xander's last rap where they're just doing a bunch of dancing I've never seen before?

Again, footwork isn't super complex, but there's a lot of formation changing, a lot of entering/exiting circles and back into a line

When they do the leaning circle thing when Soohyun's singing "ddeo-olla", that actually requires a lot of core, glutes, and lower back work

The shoulder shimmies during the chorus would need a lot of core muscles too because their alignments are all fairly straight (or at least it should be)

It's also so weird to see them attack the choreo with so much aggression, like yeah they usually commit to MMHN choreo anyway, but there's just that extra snap they had for the music stages

Guess performing it a couple hundred times a year sucked the fun out of it, huh?

But overall, lots of improvement from Talk To Me

Kevin and Kiseop still stand out as the best dancers with the most committment and ease of movement

Dongho is another standout, mostly due to how well-suited he is to the choreography, and by this point he was a pretty competent dancer

Soohyun is a bit harder to tell because he has less dancing parts, but he's never disappointed me

Xander, Eli, and Kibum all blend in well, which again, is a virtue in group dancing

They all look so confident and comfortable on stage, and they're all much better at working the camera, it's kinda crazy to see how much they improved from Not Young

Singing here is live too, clearer than the Inkigayo one, though that might just be a mic/video quality thing

7.75/10 enjoyable to watch, no back pains from cringing, and they're committed to the concept.

Just as a bonus, here's some more costumes they wore while promoting MMHN because I think that's the most important part of a comeback lol

Love the jacket colour it's so pretty

And the tight pants so with the times

Not the recurring trash bag material

But the all-black look is so bad boy

Not the suit tops paired with the golden trash pants

There's a lot going on with those jackets

Peak 'attacked by a Michaels before the music show' look

The random feathers, ruffles, embroidery for god knows who, chains galore, the randomly recurring houndstooth pattern, fringes because why not, I love it

OK! | YouTube Music 368k | Spotify 29k

I actually do like this song, like unironically it's on some of my regular playlists

This is a Kevin song featuring Soohyun, Xander, Eli, Dongho, and Kibum + 4 words from Kiseop, bless his heart

NH really hired him for his looks and gave him nothing

Never bothered to look up the lyrics until now, so I thought it was just a dance song, but I was wrong

Rare anti-simp song that also isn't anti-woman, truly impressive for the time

It's basically just them going "oh I was such a stupid doormat who let my girl walk all over me but now I freed myself and I'm sexy free and single and out to party"

Also an ongoing theme of being like a beggar to this girl

Normally, especially after looking at the lyrics, I would advocate for this to be a Soohyun-centric song because his voice has that bitterness that suits the concept

But I think with the brighter music and the self-deprecating lyrics, Kevin's sweet voice really does suit this better

Like he really does give the right balance of bitter remorse and optimism

Kevin and Kiseop splitting lines is so very dear to my heart

Even though the autotune kills some of this, I've always felt that their voices complement each other very well

Keep a pin in that because I'll be coming back to harp on this later many many times

No funny Eli one liners, but we got some great ones from Dongho and Xander

"I can go to club again" Yeah it makes sense with other half of the line being guilt-free, but something about the way Dongho says this is sooo funny

"I don't love you no more it's time to gotta go" Thank you, Xander

Also, this song talks about getting drunk at the club, and how many of them could even drink at this time? Weren't you guys just at the Mickey Mouse Club?

7.75/10 The autotune, while a stylistic choice I understand, really dampens their voices, but overall I really like this song - it's fun, catchy, bright, and with some silly one liners, which is all I could really ask for

So, I actually have two fun facts for today because the first is really short, and the second is less fun and not even that unknown, just kind of fascinating.

Around this time, I think either during or right after their MMHN promotions (not sure, but definitely in this timeframe because Kevin still has that cursed blond hair), Kiseop was in a variety show about ulzzangs. They bring in Soohyun as a guest for an episode, and they're supposed to try to shock each other by exposing secrets, and Soohyun just loudly and semi-proudly declares that Kiseop and Kevin borrowed his laptop, and when he got it back, he found porn.

And Kiseop, my boy Kiseop, just goes "yeah that's true", and I want you to keep a pin in that because it'll come up again next album.

The next not-so-fun fact is oh my god they've done so many different versions of MMHN. They have the original Korean version, the Japanese version, a blended Korean-Japanese version, and then all the different lineups. What I've learned from collating this information is MMHN requires just two people to work, and here are the lineups I'm aware of:

Xander, Soohyun, Kibum, Eli, Kevin, Dongho, Kiseop | 2009-2010

Soohyun, Eli, Kevin, Dongho, Kiseop, AJ, Hoon | 2011-2013

Soohyun, Eli, Kevin, Dongho, Kiseop, Hoon | 2012

Soohyun, Eli, Kevin, Kiseop, Hoon, AJ | 2013-2014

Soohyun, Eli, Kevin, Kiseop, Hoon | 2014

Soohyun, Eli, Kevin, Kiseop, Hoon, Jun | 2014-2017

Soohyun, Eli, Kiseop, Hoon, Jun | 2017

Eli, Kiseop, Hoon, Jun | 2018

Soohyun, Kevin | 2020

Soohyun, Hoon | 2021 (I don't know if there's a full version of it)

Soohyun, Hoon, Kiseop | 2023

Soohyun, Hoon, Kiseop, Eli, Xander, AJ/Siyoon | 2023

Soohyun, Hoon, Kiseop, Xander, Siyoon | 2023

Soohyun, Hoon, Kiseop, Eli, Xander | 2023

Why the hell is their lineup so unstable? It's like once a few years pass, they have to change lineups. Also, insane that Soohyun has only not been in one version, and Hoon has only missed one since joining.

Oh, well I guess the real fun fact is that they've had 3 songs where all 10 have performed it at some point - Not Young, MMHN, and Without You, hilariously.

So we're closing off their rookie era now, and into...actually, I'm not sure what to call 2010 as. Their success years? Don't really know, but I'm excited we're coming up on Bran New Kiss where I have a whole essay prepared on the vocal line because I think they're absolutely fascinating.

UKISS Era - Cringe Rookies - Complete!

[artemfication]

Mammon and his crushing problems

Let’s be real here, he is an absolute simp for MC

He would quite literally kiss the ground they walk on

However…

Mans is too embarrassed to admit he fell in love with a human

Like he is literally the second most powerful of the seven sins, tf u mean simping for some dumb ass human???

Oh fuck they smiled at him, RUN!

poor MC takes that as a sign that he doesn’t like them

They didn’t expect for the seven brothers to like them at all, but it seems like even being near them is too embarrassing for the second born

“MC is not with us for breakfast?”

“Huh? Wdym MC isn’t there for breakfast?! They never miss out on breakfast, and here I thought we could do our make-up togethee!” Asmodeus is a bit confused.

“Do any of you happen to know about their whereabouts?”

“I did hear their door when I was making breakfast. Think it was around seven? They must’ve gone to school early.” Satan mumbles as he takes a bite from his sandwich.

“Strange…I see no need for them to go that early. Not that I’m complaining, but their grades look fine.”

Lucifer’s gaze turns to Mammon and he can already feel another scolding coming from the oldest.

“Don’ look at me, they didn’t tell me anythin’ this mornin’ so ya can’t blame me.”

“You’re right. I was suppose to assign someone else as MC made a request to swap you out for one of your brothers. Their preference was Beelzebub or Satan. Not to worry, I will seek them out at RAD. I have a hunch either the Angels or Solomon came to pick them up…perhaps Thirteen since they became quite close lately. It does make me wonder what made them want to change guardians, though they assured me it’s because they wanted to get to know the others better.”

Ouch…that hurt mammon’s teeny tiny heart

Wasn’t he enough for you?

Did he do something that pissed you off?

“I’m done with breakfast. I’ll go ahead. Mammon’s got the dishes right? I’ll go and seek out MC to accompany them until you’ve had your little talky talk.” Asmodeus quickly gets up and takes one last glance in the mirror before going out to make his way to RAD.

One by one the brothers leave the table until it’s just mammon and lucifer.

“You’ve been awfully quiet mammon”

“Wha- you wanna have me talkin’ all the time or what?”

“That’s not what I was implying, however, you seemed quite surprised and sad when you heard about the change in guardianship. Mind telling me if you did something anyway?”

“Argh, how am I suppose to know? I’m just glad I got them off my back-“

“Lucifer?”

Mammon freezes at the sound of your voice.

“You wanted to speak to me? I’m sorry for not attending breakfast, I was in the library to print out my assignment papers. I have a free period right now as the professor got sick. Asmodeus told me you wanted to talk to me so I came back as you were still here. Saves you a trip to seek me out.”

“How thoughtful of you MC. Yes, I did want to talk to you about the change of guardianship. Please follow me to my office.”

Mammon tries to talk to MC but they give him the cold shoulder and avoid his gaze like the plague.

He’s fucked up for good, hasn’t he?

For the rest of the day he has locked himself in his room, lying on his bed and staring at his screen which plays some random video about how to hack a gambling machine.

Did they hear him say those harsh words?

But he didn’t mean it…

Beelzebub calls for dinner, but mammon has no appetite.

How is he suppose to fix this?

His old self would’ve been happy to be free from that guardianship

But the him now has become so attached to that puny little human

He never wanted to admit it, but it is a fact.

He’s in love with you

But expressing such a thing is so hard

How does Asmodeus do this shit all the time?

Well…not like he’s ever confessed, but rather received confessions…

Mammon has had his fair share of confessions as well. But he never confessed himself.

Do humans and demons confess in the same ways?

He looks up how to confess on Deviltube, watches some human confession movie scenes, but he is none the wiser

A little while later he hears laughter from outside his door and he quietly walks towards the door the peek outside.

“…and so his mom exposed him at a family dinner, for dating all these girls, because she found out their names by accident and the poor guy had to sit through the embarrassment, it was so funny when I heard it!”

MC and Asmodeus are gossiping and giggling as they’re making their way to Asmo’s room

That sweet smile MC wears…

They never smiled at him like that

“Let me get you some cute accessories I recently bought, when I was back home! See if they match with your fit for tomorrow, yeah?”

MC walks to their own room to look through their vanity drawer and are too busy searching that they don’t hear mammon walk in, until he clears his throat

O-oi, human. Can we talk for a sec?”

“I don’t have any grimm on me and no you can’t sell my bathwater.”

“That’s not what I wanted to t-talk about. I-it’s about that guardianship…”

“You’re welcome. Was that it?”

Guilt is weighing heavy on his heart as he hears the slight hurt in their voice

“I don’t want a “you’re welcome”…I just wanted to know why…?”

“Because you’re obviously embarrassed of me. You always run away whenever I look at you. When I try to be nice, you run off. When I ask you a question, you insult me without missing a beat. I know you didn’t like me in the beginning, but what did I ever do for you to hate me so much? Is it because I’m human?”

“N…no, I swear on my Goldie, it ain’t you who’s the problem. It’s me, I’m the one being stupid. I never meant any of those insult towards ya. Ya gotta believe me MC! I-It’s just this stupid feelin’ I get whenever I’m near ya…ya make me feel kinda weird…”

“As in disgust?”

“Nah, nah, not disgust…it’s just…it feels nice…but it also makes me anxious, ya know what I mean?”

At this point mammon is redder than Lucifer’s eyes.

He can feel those beats of sweat drip down the sides of his face

C’mon ya stupid demon, just say your shit!

“I….uh….I…I like you, okay?!” He splutters, eyes closed and his fist balled, not daring to look MC in the eyes

They’re gonna reject him, aren’t they? Just like everyone else-

“Mammon a-are you sure…?”

“You’re ma human…I’m ya first man…I don’t want any of those others to become ya guardian…you’re my precious dumbass human…”

Would you reject this adorably tall, white haired, blushing, stuttering, avatar of Greed?

You must be stupid if you did.

“I’m sorry for being so mean to ya…I was just a lil’ scared of myself.”

The MC is too stunned to speak

“I-I get it if ya gonna reject me…but it was unfair of me to keep ya in the dark…I’m sorry…”

“You dumbass demon…why didn’t you say that earlier?!”

The mammon was too stunned to speak as MC’s arms have found their way around his waist.

“I’m not rejecting you, but you really need to stop doing stupid things…”

“I heard ya…”

Spoiler alert: He didn’t

Mans still gets flustered as hell whenever MC does something as mundane as asking him something or even just walking beside him!

He once passed out when receiving a scolding from Lucifer because MC held his hand