#and then they got married. the end

[vancilocs]

35-45 for vasilis and an ex bank robber of your choice?

just had tortillas for dinner

35. What’s their guilty pleasure? What is their totally unguilty pleasure?

Staying home and letting Konoe do the diplomatic things, you don't need me I'll arrange the bookshelf or something. Unguilty about when he does show up and is a head taller than anyone (except Dusko so they can make rage-filled eye contact) and shiny and sparkly and intimidating. Hell yeah

Kirkland kinda feels guilty about any pleasure, main one is laying down instead of doing chores. The garden can be weeded later. Unguilty about making his wife lay down instead so he can do the chores when he has the energy

36. What are they good at? What hobbies do they like? Can they sing?

Excellent swordsman, does gear maintenance, can braid hair, doesn't sing but hums.

He's a good carpenter and a decent cook, he enjoys both of those. Doesn't sing, whistles when happy.

37. Do they like to read? Are they a fast or slow reader? Do they like poetry? Fictional or non fiction?

Reads a lot of books about royal lineages, religion, and history of buildings, he likes to be prepared for smalltalk. Not particularly fast nor slow. Hasn't read fiction since he was a child. Konoe reads him poetry and it makes him flustered.

Not big on reading, not slow at it either. Likes poetry but won't admit it.

38. What do they admire in others? What talents do they wish they had?

He's blunt and to the point, so having a husband who not only remembers everything he's told and has a true photographic memory, but is able to spin any conversation going his way. Vasili doesn't know how he can be so wily. Just a general boost to charisma would be nice.

He rarely looks at other people like that, does admire his wife a lot, mainly for being so open-minded that she was the only one not scared of the weirdo alien moving into their small town and went to say hi.

39. Do they like letters? Or prefer emails/messaging?

Not a fan of writing letters but sometimes he has to.

Extremely hard to get in touch with as he is not on any social medias, but Rory sometimes texts him and he may or may not respond.

40. Do they like energy drinks? Coffee? Sugary food? Or can they naturally stay awake and alert?

A coffee addict, but also naturally fairly alert. Age has slowed him down a bit though, he is in his 60's after all

Enjoys coffee and energy drinks but he's had to cut them down because they don't mesh well with his medication. Is a sleepy guy otherwise, loves an afternoon nap

41. What’s their sexuality? What do they find attractive? Physically and mentally? What do they like/need in a relationship?

He likes men, mainly smart men, but looks aren't an issue. Likes anyone who's well put together and smart and engaging. Needs more reassurance than you'd think.

He doesn't like to label himself, but I guess would fall under pan, romance is a very low priority in his life (or was, he's married now and adores his wife), honestly just anyone who's kind to him could be his type. Needs space and understanding, will reward that patience with affection when he's ready

42. What are their goals? What would they sacrifice anything for? What is their secret ambition?

Just live his life out while being the best support to his husband and the best representative to their kingdom as he can. If he needs to die for that then so be it, those porcelain guys have never been known for putting themselves first. He doesn't need to die tho he's fine

Goal is to just get from one day to another, do little carpentry projects, keep wife happy. Used to want revenge on Vikas but now he can't be bothered

43. Are they religious? What do they think of religion? What do they think of religious people? What do they think of non religious people?

He's fairly religious in whatever religion they have that I haven't invented yet. Keeps it close to his chest however and will not comment on others. Not a fan of the dragon god of war's minions though

Used to be a loud atheist, now just an atheist who doesn't care about what others think. Likes to learn about his wife's religion

44. What is their favourite season? Type of weather? Are they good in the cold or the heat? What weather do they complain in the most?

Likes spring and fall, not too hot, not too cold, leaves and flowers look pretty. Can handle cold well, bitches when it gets too hot while Konoe is the opposite

He grew up in Antarctica, the only time he will go back into the cold is when he's on a slab at the morgue. Hence why he opted to move to Nedia because it's warm year round. Doesn't like when it's too humid though, but knows that it's what his wife likes the most so he's quiet and just takes a shower if he sweats too much.

45. How do other people see them? Is it similar to how they see themselves?

Largely depends. His family has completely disowned him and even took away his surname when it came out he was sleeping with Konoe, but the people of the kingdom have grown to like him. Sure he's not as popular as Konoe or his mother but he's very respected after the initial shock and horror wore off (younger generations just think he's cool). He has gotten over his disownment and while he likes a bit of reassurance now and again, like in regards to his missing eye, he's doing well.

Where he lives now locals have kinda gotten used to him, they think he's a quiet weirdo but honestly harmless. And he helps with carpentry and fixes crooked doors when asked so he's a good guy in their books. His family is sad abt where he ended up and his former robber friends feel bad for him too but oh well hope he's still alive

[cidnangarlond]

[ryllen]

[ x ]

[moondustinfj]

Regulus *running away from James* : I can't marry you YOU'RE TOO GOOD FOR ME!!!

James *running after him* : WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN??

Regulus: YOU'RE TOO NICE TO ME!!

James: I'LL BE LESS NICE!

Regulus: YOUR GIFTS ARE TOO SPECIFIC!

James: I'LL GET YOU A GIFT CARD??

Regulus: UGH!! *keeps sprinting away*

James *following him* : I'M SORRY! I NEVER MEANT TO NOT HURT YOU

Regulus *sobbing while running* : YOU'RE TOO EMOTIONALLY SUPPORTIVE!

James: WE'LL WORK ON THAT IN THERAPY!

Regulus: NO! I CAN'T DO IT... MY BROTHER LIKES YOU TOO MUCH!

James: FINE I'LL PUNCH HIM IN THE FACE!!

Regulus: NO! NO..YOU'RE...YOU'RE TOO IN LOVE WITH ME!!

James: SO ARE YOU!

Regulus *stops and turns to him* : WHAT??

James:

Regulus: YOU'RE TOO COMMITTED TO ME!

James: FINE WE CAN BE POLY!

Regulus: WHAT?!?!

James: I MEAN YOU. YOU CAN BE POLY!

Regulus:

Regulus: FINE! *starts running again*

James *out of breath* : babe..wait..

Regulus: ARE YOU NOT RUNNING AFTER ME-

▪︎▪︎▪︎

Sirius *smirking* : I'm gonna show this to their firstborn

Remus: Padfoot put the camera down-

[delhe-dalim]

Oh Mayday... Warm colors cuz he deserves some warmth 🥹

[stil-lindigo]

a match made in hell

snow's story

ash's story

[noblemalone]

What if Dragon Age but they all work at Costco

it’s been 20 minutes and I’m already obsessed with this AU

More

[noyzinerd]

Sterek Rival Lawyers AU

It's A (Court) Date

Imagine, high-class, Ivy League, hot-shot, attorney Derek comes back from New York to the family firm to take over as partners with his sister after his parents decide to step down. He may not be on the level of his mother yet, but he's cut his teeth against Wall Street wolves and ruthless white-collar sharks. Derek's more than proved himself, so he just can't fathom these small criminal court cases his family is making him take "before he's truly ready" to be a part of the family business.

Enter in his first case. Right out the gate, the state assigned defense is, not only late to court, but also arrives in a flurry of limbs and papers, tripping all over himself, and profusely apologizing to the room as a whole. "Sorry! Sorry! Car trouble!"

The guy is out of breath, tie crooked and hair a mess. It makes Derek wrinkle his nose at the unprofessionalism and the blatant disrespect to everyone's valuable time.

The presiding judge, the Honorable Ms. Lydia Martin, only sighs a heavy sigh, as if this sight is nothing new, and says "Mr. Stilinski, I suggest you don't let it happen again."

Derek is honestly getting annoyed by how easy this is going to be. He could've been doing literally anything else right about now rather than being here going against a common rent-a-lawyer with some Podunk community-college degree. The opening statement for the defense is laughably inept. Full of nervous stuttering, backtracking, running tangents, and babbling. He's still apologizing, trying to assure the jury that he's just having an off-day today.

It's embarrassing to watch.

Nonetheless, Derek goes through the motions, practiced and poised. Examines all the evidence, presenting times and dates, prior arrest records, the works.

During this time, Mr. Stilinski is frantically (and VERY LOUDLY) flitting through a cartoonishly large stack of papers and whispering to his client. Derek has to fight to grit his teeth through his presentation.

Finally, it's time for Mr. Stilinski to cross-examine Derek's client and, unbeknownst to him, the beginning of Derek's long, long spiral of madness for the rest of his career.

"Judge Martin, I would like to move to have this case thrown out."

"Oh?" asks Judge Martin. For some reason, there's an amused smirk, almost fond, tugging at her lips "On what grounds?"

A giddy, almost manic, grin takes over the defense attorney's face just then. "On the grounds that the prosecution's client is full of bullshit."

The judge rolls her eyes and an exasperated "Stiles," slips from her lips, seemingly against her will. (Derek's not really surprised by the familiarity between the two of them. With how often state-assigned lawyers are called to the courtroom on small cases, it wouldn't be too big of a leap to suggest they might be chummy.)

"Respectfully, of course." Mr. Stilinski--er Stiles?--winks back at her.

"Objection. Your honor, this is ridiculous."

"Overruled. Make your point, Stilinski."

"Mr. Davis says he saw my client at 12:30 P.M., on August 4th, attempting to take his back-right hubcap outside his apartment. Mr. Davis' apartment complex at that time, on that particular day, would have cast a huge shadow over the back lot as evidenced by the gaudy sundial-art-installation outside the courthouse. Meanwhile, my client's picture, when taken in for questioning, has a sunburn on the entire right side of his face. This would corroborate Mr. Lyle's story of walking home alone, down the upper, unshaded side of Elmore Street, during one of the hottest days of the year, for an hour straight. Also, the fact that Mr. Davis has no realistic idea how long it would actually take a person to steal a hubcap should be evidence enough."

"Uh-huh. And this wouldn't happen to be something you've ever had any expertise in, would it, counsel?"

"I plead the 5th."

And just like that, Derek's case is thrown out so quick, he's still reeling about it all the way home.

For the next two years, this becomes Derek's life. This man, this Stiles Stilinski, keeps showing up like a whirlwind and absolutely puts him in his paces.

Stiles, as he insists Derek call him, is a powerhouse. Relentless and unstoppable. That mouth can filibuster for literal hours (which, for those unfamiliar, is when someone legally cannot be forced to give up their time on the floor as long as they can keep talking), that brain quick as a whip, with a hunger for research, a mastery of the English language svelte enough to trip up even the most well-rehearsed lie, and an attention to detail like nothing Derek has ever witnessed before. It's like he knows every law inside and out. Lives it. Breathes it. It's like he had been raised on the law his whole life. Not only that, it's like Stiles enjoys it. Every case is a new game to get excited about.

All of it makes Derek's blood boil.

However, it's not always about losing to Stiles all the time, because, honestly, that might be less humiliating.

In truth, when faced against Stiles, Derek's bound to win about 60% of the time. Out of that 60%, only 5% of those wins actually feel earned. As for the other 55%?

He knows Stiles is letting him win.

Derek can't prove it, but he knows the asshole is holding back on purpose nearly half the time. Knowing that Stiles could have beaten him if he wanted to, but didn't, is somehow more frustrating than just losing.

He hates Stiles.

He hates that the guy is so chipper and playful all the damn time. He hates that Stiles could probably work at any firm he wanted, could make enough money to get a decent car that doesn't shit out all the time, could buy a proper-fitting suit, but instead CHOOSES to stay here "watching out for the little guy", as he so put it.

He hates that facing Stiles in court is the most challenged, the most motivated he's ever felt in his entire life. He hates that Stiles brings out in him the spark of passion and drive Derek had long thought had died. He hates that Stiles always tries to banter with him during recess or whenever they have to exchange evidence.

He hates finding out that Stiles only loses cases on purpose when his endless amounts of research points to the defendant actually being guilty of horrendous crimes, because Stiles is a good fucking person.

He hates Stiles' constant teasing and he hates that Stiles is somehow able to bring Derek down to his childish level to tease back. He hates how much he looks forward to court-dates with Stiles now. He hates being invited out by Stiles over and over to grab a bite together after a long day, as if Stiles hasn't been wiping the floor with him on this case for the last month. He hates it even more that he always accepts and that now they have their own designated booth at the diner across the street. Derek's so unbelievably frustrated, it makes him want to bite Stiles at the neck just to hear that smartass mouth squeal.

"Hey, I ever tell you I was thinking of quitting before you arrived?" Stiles asks one night as they're walking to their cars.

Derek's head immediately snaps to him at that. "What?"

Stiles smiles distantly at the thought. "Oh, yeah. Things had started feeling like being trapped in a cubicle, y'know? There wasn't any challenge in it anymore."

"What made you stay?"

"Well...you did. You were the first, serious competition I'd faced in a while. It wasn't a matter of winning just to win, anymore. Going against you always reminded me of the reason why it was important for me to win. It gave me stakes, because now there was an actual chance I could lose and an innocent person could go to jail. You, I don't know, kinda reignited my passion for fighting the good fight, I guess."

Derek can feel his heart thumping hard in his chest. He wants to say 'You did the same for me!' He wants to tell Stiles that he didn't think his life could ever be this fun or happy or messy or chaotic or exhilarating or challenging or fulfilling before coming to Beacon Hills.

But just as Derek goes to open his mouth to sing Stiles' praises, he instead finds himself roughly shoving him up against the Camaro and biting hungrily at that mouth and tongue that's been the bane of his existence. There's a surprised little squeak that Derek quickly swallows up, but it isn't long before they're both tearing at each others' clothes and fucking each other dirty in the backseat of Derek's car.

What's crazy is, after they get together, nothing in their careers really changes. The only difference is now they get to fuck each others' brains out after an intense battle in court (and the sound Stiles makes when Derek bites him is exactly what he always imagined it would sound like). They still face against each other on opposite sides in court. They still give it everything they got, no conceding even if they are dating now. Not to mention, Derek wouldn't dream of tempting Stiles over to his firm. Not when he knows Stiles is at his best staying where he's at.

The day Derek's family finally decides it's time for him to take over the firm with Laura is the best day of his and Stiles' lives.

Not only does Derek tell them he's declining, he hires Stiles as his attorney to negotiate terms against his entire family of well-seasoned lawyers.

The entire month-long negotiation results in Derek, not saying a single word, but absolutely beaming as he watches his boyfriend run circles around his mother, his father, his uncle, and both of his sisters on contracts. It's so unbelievably hot, they're banging on whatever flat surface they can get their hands on every time they leave the boardroom. There's even one very memorable blowjob in the empty hall outside the boardroom when Stiles somehow manages to get Peter to agree to a (most likely illegal) clause dictating the firm will pay Stiles a finder's fee for any pro-bono case Stiles takes on outside of Beacon Hills that strikes his fancy.

And, no one says it, but they all know Derek definitely, 100%, dragged his own firm through this negotiation just to show off how incredible Stiles is to his family and preen about it.

--

Fast-forward, Derek is going to be in the audience for the first time for one of Stiles' cases.

While waiting in the hall, Derek sees a familiar face from his New York days. The prosecution has hired the eighth best lawyer money can get, Jackson Whittemore. He's sporting a Rolex, sunglasses indoors, and the face of someone who thinks he's above literally every other person in town.

Well, at least until he sees Derek.

For some reason, Jackson seems to think Derek is all the way out in the middle of nowhere to 'watch a master at work' (which...well...is technically true...).

As Derek goes to sit in the audience, Jackson tells him in passing, "This'll be over so fast, probably won't even get a chance to learn the other guy's name."

Derek chuckles and says back, "Ooh, buddy, you have no idea."

Before Jackson can think more on that, a whirlwind of limbs and papers suddenly hurls through the doors.

Derek sits back, gets comfy, and waits eagerly for the show to begin.

My first moodboard. Hope you enjoy. AU based on a discussion with @casually-eat-my-soul (I suggest checking out their version). This was kind of like a divergence from that (the brain juices just started flowing).

[beetleoops]

You keep getting married to Beetlejuice

This fucker loves to party (and he loves you), so you are having weddings constantly

You officially get married in private, with only Lydia, the Deetzs and the Maitlands there. You take it easy so he can adjust to being alive, but Delia still throws a pretty fun party- if a little...odd. Still, it's enough for Beetlejuice to learn his alcohol tolerance isn't NEARLY as high now that he has a heartbeat.

"Babes!! I cannot fuckin wait to get married to you all over again." He's half asleep, laying his entire weight on you, reeking of booze, smiling like a dope. "Uh-huh. Me too, Beej." You pat his back.

(Also, turns out now that he sleeps for real, he snores. you think its cute.)

Once he's human (and more or less used to it), you have a more traditional wedding with your friends and family all there, and throw an all night reception and after party at a bar - beej loves the energy and is cheering on your grandparents to throw ass on the dance floor all night

"Fuck it up Agnes! Hell yeah!" (This is probably not your grandma's name. Actually, is that even your grandma?)

This goes over not great, but better than expected; everyone has a good time. You do too, of course. You are drunk and wearing white and laughing so loud, and when you aren't dancing, Beetlejuice can barely keep his hands off you. Hell, when you ARE dancing Beetlejuice can't keep his hands off you.

you go to Las Vegas for the honeymoon and get married again - Beej insists on the most tacky wedding possible and you agree.

You get married by an Elvis impersonater in a sticky little chapel on the strip. You wear a suit, and he wears a tight, short wedding dress with a veil and pumps.

"third time's the charm?" You ask, when Elvis finally says to kiss the groom. " Oh no, babes. We're hitting the drive through wedding chapel next."

"Deal!" And you dip him before kissing him square in the mouth.

You keep getting married to Beetlejuice, because you both want to make fucking SURE it sticks.

[pisswizard420]

mina: hey babe there may be a time where i need you to kill me so i don’t become a vampire

jonathan harker, who was already planning out where they’d live their vampire lives and figuring out matching outfits for that possibility: what

[rinbylin]

LI LIANHUA + DI FEISHENG + FANG DUOBING | 莲花楼 Mysterious Lotus Casebook

[grondds-and-roses]

Tolkien really said samwise gamgee is my favourite character and I will make sure that all of you know that <3

[brother-emperors]

TRY AGAIN LATER

it's like. well. its several things.

(Plutarch's Crassus, trans. Warner)

and also this

(ibid.)

that compliment sounds like an insult, baby.

anyway, there's a fun kind of eroticism in being given everything, in taking things that aren't yours without any real consequence, in climbing towards becoming a Roman Alexander, only for one man to deny you, over and over and over again, at every turn. Sulla tried, Crassus did it better. who would put a butcher in their place? who else knows you well enough to do it? who else can match you step for step like this? doesn't it feel like a kind of intimacy, a kind of—

it's also about the 'even sulla kissed my sword/so you want me on my knees too?' innuendo was too good to pass up. that was actually the first line I wrote, I figured out the rest of this to justify making a comic with it

and finally! the sword line is referencing/playing off of Lucan's Pharsalia a little bit because it fucks hard

(Lucan's Pharsalia, trans. Jane Wilson Joyce)

EDIT: oh, and that's a public domain anatomical illustration of a heart. you know how it is with love and hate.

[yuripira4e]

trying to explain to other otasune fans that snake is NOT the one with internalized homophobia in their coupling

[magniloquent-raven]

i cannot get over the henren flashbacks in 6x06. ur tellin me they met, developed feelings but decided to have casual sex about it because hen wasn't ready for anything serious, somehow figured their shit out and bought a house together, broke up over hen wanting to adopt denny, got back together and then took the kid in, and ALL of that took place in less than 12 months

[levemetal]

Local minor heavenly official ignoring instructions to not approach calamity ghost.

Day 5: Caught / Found

Ascended Yue Qingyuan and Calamity SJ! Consider this a continuation of Day 2 :) There's their happy ending, they finally meet again. Fits for both prompts tho I drew this with Found in mind.

memey extra under cut