#and then not even getting either the carrot or the affection

[gigglebug]

.

[capricioussun]

Decided to sketch some of those YCH ideas for warm up but they kept getting smaller as I went

Finished the papyri and then went “ok, time to do some sanses!” and stared blankly at the canvas for like six minutes

[luveline]

hi jadey would you do something with r peeling an orange for peter even though he’s perfectly capable of doing it for himself but she wants to do acts of service for him ���️🫶

There are some bad boyfriends out there. Guys who’d rather argue, who won’t walk their girls to the door, who never help with the dishes. There are losers who expect things after they pay for dinner, and never say please. 

Peter Parker is the polar opposite of all those men. Peter Parker gets home from a long day at work and a short shift as his crime-fighting alter ego and makes you a hot chocolate without asking how many marshmallows you want. “Hello,” he says, kissing you behind the ear as he comes around you from behind, the hot chocolate set carefully next to your laptop. “Did you hear me come in, or are you ignoring me?” 

The former, for sure. You beam to yourself and twist in his hold to meet his eyes, brown and wide where they take you in. “Hello!” you say, not shouting, but certainly not whispering either. “I never hear you. You’re a cheater.” 

“You have ears,” he says. 

“And I choose not to use them.” 

“You okay?” He gives your shoulder a concerned rub. When you nod, it turns to a quicker, softer patting. “Okay. I’m gonna make dinner, yeah? I’m starving.” 

He’s strange in that he says ‘starving’ like he’s excited about the feeling. You nod and he nods back, tangible affection in the air between you before he presses his nose to your forehead and leaves. 

You’re just a girl. You finish what you’d been working on as quickly as you can and close your laptop, sipping at the hot chocolate he’d made you with a smirk. Your boyfriend loves you a lot. He’s handsome and tall and smart but he fucking loves you; Peter comes home from a long day hungry and makes you a drink. 

“My love.” You push open the kitchen door. 

“Yeah?” he asks. 

“I can make dinner.” 

“No, that’s fine. I’m making it.” 

“I can do it, Pete,” you say, putting your mug down on the counter. 

“I’m gonna do it,” he says, taking your hands, moving you out of the way of the fridge. His smile is as sugary as his eyes. “You have hot chocolate to drink. Before it’s cold chocolate.” 

“Boo.” You let him win reluctantly. He’s too strong, you argue to yourself smugly, he could totally take you in a fight. There’s never any winning with him. 

Peter turns the oven on and lights the stovetop, a frying pan on the heat, a square of butter melting in the centre. He cuts the veggies swiftly, asking question from over his shoulder. How was your day, babe? Did you eat enough? Did that headache come back? 

You lean on the counter and take a clementine from the fruit bowl. It was fine, you tell him, digging your fingers into the skin. Not much to say. I ate plenty. Headache stayed at home. The sharp citrus smell of torn pith hits the air as you peel the skin from the fruit's flesh. Then you spend a good five minutes taking off the stringy white bits as Peter fries your veggies with some leftover chicken from last night. 

“Here,” you say, breaking the clementine into pieces. 

“Oh, thank you,” he says, taking one from the well of your hand.

He eats it so fast you could argue he doesn’t taste it. 

“It’s for you, Peter,” you say, putting the rest of the clementine on the chopping board next to the carrot tops. “I’ll peel you another one. I know one’s not enough for you.” 

“Au contraire,” he murmurs, grabbing your waist, tugging you in, orange on his breath as you let him take your weight and move in. “You’re the only one for me.” 

“Terrible,” you murmur back. 

Peter’s grinning as he takes your face into his hand. He tips your head back, your heart fluttering just as much as it did the very first time he touched you like this, his eyes lit by a deep, unignorable sweetness for you. “Thank you,” he says. “You’re real nice to me, huh?” 

“Thank you for the hot chocolate.” 

“That wasn’t me. That was just sitting here when I got in.” 

You wrap your arm around his neck to close him in. “Sure it was.” 

“It was!” He kisses the corner of your mouth eagerly. Each word he says after is half smothered by the press of his lips on your cheek and the soft skin just below your eye as you laugh. “Wanna feed me as I stir? I think our dinner’s burning.” 

“If you keep kissing me, then yeah. I’ll peel every orange in that bowl for you.” 

Such a promise spurs another round of soft kisses. 

[ckret2]

(I said earlier I had a fic excerpt about DEATH LAWYER AXOLOTL, here it is.)

The god hopefully turned to the time giant—

She shook her head, expression flat. "Nope. I'm a civil engineer, not a hostage negotiator."

—and then turned to the Axolotl. "You. You know how to talk to mortals like this triangle that's taken over Dimension Zero, don't you? Isn't he like the omnicidal monsters you represent every day?"

The Axolotl looked nervously at the wormhole into Dimension Zero. He could see blue fire and hear wails of pain on the other side. "Ah," he said.

####

Biologically there was really no such thing as a god, in the same way that botanically there is really no such thing as a vegetable. Tomatoes are fruits; spinach is a leaf; carrots are roots; broccoli is an unfinished flower. The word "vegetable" just indicates the cultural role a plant performs in the kitchen.

The word "god" indicated the cultural role an entity performed in cosmology: a god was anything that exerted enough power that mortals felt driven to worship it.

Different beings so honored with the title "god" handled it in different ways. For the Axolotl's part, he thought it was a useful designation to help with networking, but mostly it was a pain that meant he was put up on a pedestal for doing his job.

The Axolotl was a god of justice. Not the god of justice, but one. He held dominion over an abstract concept; over millions and billions of years, his words and decisions slowly, inexorably altered the idea of "justice" on a multiversal scale. Mercy, retribution, punishment, rehabilitation, equity, equality, fairness, and righteousness were like multicolored clays he could twist, squish, sculpt, and blend at his leisure, permanently altering what those ideas meant to the mortals they affected.

Which was to say: he was a lawyer.

He was also known as a god of rebirth. Which was to say: he specialized in afterlife law. Before going into law he'd only been a psychopomp, but after having to escort too many despairing souls to afterlives he felt were too severe for their sins, he'd decided he wanted a say in where he took his souls. Now he helped clients get their charges reduced so they were eligible for a higher-tier reincarnation, or got their purgatorial sentences reduced, or—on rare occasions—even helped them avoid damnation. (Although he didn't take many damnation cases. He didn't always win—and those ones were too depressing to lose.)

And lately, he'd been developing a reputation.

For the past few centuries, he'd been working on a damnation case. He was defending a supervillain who'd built a weapon that could slice open the fabric of spacetime—a crime against reality—and bisect planets in its wake. He'd died inside the jurisdiction of an afterlife that had legalized eternal damnation. Case law had long since established that the dead had to be sent either to the afterlife system of their native jurisdiction or an alternate afterlife system of their choice in order to be judged, provided that the proper afterlife accepted their transfer request.

But if this villain had been extradited to his home world, the heaviest sentence he could have faced was a thousand years purgatory, with an option for early reincarnation for good behavior after a hundred years. So the jurisdiction he'd died in had summoned up some bureaucratic red tape to dismiss his native afterlife's extradition request, and he'd been sentenced where he'd died. They'd wanted to establish via case law that the dead who had committed crimes against reality could be damned in whichever jurisdiction they happened to die in, and hoped they could get away with it just for lack of anyone protesting the move. After all, everyone involved much preferred that a mortal wicked enough to obliterate multiple populated planets and trillions of lives receive eternal punishment.

Everyone involved except the Axolotl. 

Taking this case hadn't made him many friends. He didn't care; he had his principles. Let an interplanetary supervillain be dragged away to a foreign afterlife just so that he can be forced into damnation, and next it'll be a planetary dictator; let a dictator be dragged away, and next it'll be a murderer; and next it'll be a burglar; and next it'll be a jaywalker that a psychopomp has a personal grudge against. If the Axolotl could establish that even the most undeserving mortal imaginable, a criminal against reality, still deserved the right to be sentenced in the afterlife of his choice, then he could establish that everyone less evil deserved the same right.

If he had anything to say about it, in two or three trillion years he'd see eternal punishment outlawed completely; but untilthen, he was not going to sit idly by and let this flagrant abuse of interdimensional law become the new meaning of justice! He would get that supervillain out of eternal damnation, personally escort him to his native afterlife, and see him reincarnated on his own home world—and mark his words, he would rain so much bureaucratic hell on the judges and psychopomps that had let this abuse of justice take place that no god would dare keep a soul from its rightful afterlife ever again, or he wasn't the Axolotl!

All of which was to say:

Yes, unfortunately. This triangle was like the omnicidal monsters he represented every day.

And so he was appointed hostage negotiator.

####

(And that's why a trillion years later he's the guy helping Bill submit an insanity plea so that he can go to Theraprism rather than get the permadeath penalty.)

[multific]

Little You-s and I-s

Thomas Shelby x Reader

Summary: You and Tommy deal with the changes that come with your pregnancy.

Your pregnancy changed you a lot.

You became more sensitive to smell for example.

One evening, Thomas arrived home from the bar, and as soon as you caught the smell of drinks and smoke on him, you rushed to the bathroom.

Then there was the incident when you craved fish but before you could cook it, the smell of it caught your nose and again, rushing for the toilet you went.

Thomas was incredibly happy when you told him the news, having his own family with you was always a goal of his.

What he didn't like however is just how sensitive you became and one thing that set it off easily was his cigarettes.

Thomas smoked a lot, so for him to not be able to do that in his own home was a bit challenging, but he still found ways to smoke one or two in the furthest part of the garden. Even then, sometimes the wind carried the smell right back to you.

"No smoking and no drinks!" yelled Tom at John as he pulled out a cigarette.

"What? Why?"

"My wife is pregnant, she is sensitive to the smell."

"Oooh, it got that bad huh?" asked John as you entered the room with a tray, on the tray there were some cookies and tea.

"I'll appreciate if you can hold yourself from smoking just this once John, the smell of it just..."

"No problem, thank you for the tea."

"I'll leave you to it." you smiled at your husband who nodded before he turned to John, talking about business.

When lunchtime was approaching, both John and Tom found themselves in the kitchen where you were currently chopping up some carrots and crying.

"Darling, I'm sure the carrots don't mind us eating them."

"Tell that to the headless chicken in the oven, Thomas!" you quickly said back making both men take a step back, Thomas should have known not to argue with you.

Both headed into the dining room instead.

"Is pregnancy supposed to affect a woman this much?" asked John in a hushed tone.

"I think so? I'm no expert John. Arthur has children, he might know more."

"She is glowing though. She was crying but she still looked like a Goddess."

"Can't argue with that, John. But keep your wandering eyes to yourself, she is my wife."

"Does she always cry during cooking?"

"As of late, yes. Yesterday, she made salmon, cried her heart about as she was talking about the poor little fishies the one she cooked left behind. But then this morning, she cried when she made salad. Saying the potatoes didn't deserve to die this way."

"So, she is sensitive to smell, cries when the cooks, can't get worse than that, I'd say."

"She talks back like I have never heard before."

"Okay, I was wrong it can get worse. You mean to tell me, that my lovely shy sister-in-law talks back? The one who didn't dare to tell you she didn't like the ring you gave her?" Thomas made a face at John's confession.

"She didn't like the ring?"

"No, she said she wished you would have given her something more simple. But she didn't want to tell you because she would hurt your feelings."

"Well now, with my child under her heart, she is not afraid to talk from her heart. The other day she told me I should dress better, apparently my suits make me look old. Then she wanted to dance and when I said I don't have the energy she complained that I never have when it comes to her. This is true sadly, however, the latest one... oh Johnny, my boy just before you arrived, she told me to ask you not to smoke and when I told her that you will be free to do as you please, the look. That look I know well, it's the look of someone who is about to murder. She said I either tell you to not smoke or-" Thomas stopped as he felt a shiver run down his spine, both men turned towards the door only to find you with the food in your hands on a tray. 

You approached them and placed the food in front of them. The air was cold, John swore he could have cut the tension with a spoon.

"I told him he either asks you not to smoke or I will seriously question his position as the leader, as all leaders should be listened to and respected. And if he is not able to do so, then I shall take his place. So, you are not allowed to smoke John." John nodded, not even daring to look at you.

"Th-Thank you for the meal." John said.

"I know I can be a handful since I'm with child, I feel the change in myself, the doctor said it was hormones to blame, but I seriously hope you do not plan on talking our dear Johnny's ears off with my silliness, Dear Thomas. He doesn't have to know everything."

"Of course, Love. I apologize." Thomas grabbed your hand and placed a kiss on it.

John left soon after lunch and you were now washing the dishes as Tom was reading in the living room.

Once all dishes were done, you headed into the living room, a soft song playing as he was reading in his favourite armchair. He put the paper down when he saw you approach and you sat on his lap, your head on his chest as he continued to read with one hand as the other was now around you, comforting you.

"Am I really that annoying that you talk to John about it?"

"You are not annoying, Love. Odd, sometimes yes, but that isn't due to pregnancy." you giggled a little.

You were fine with 'odd'.

"I try to control it, you know?"

"Oh, God, is this the controlled version? I'm scared now for the uncontrolled one."

"It will get worse, I'm warning you because the doctor said last week that this will only grow as the baby does."

"It's alright, your body will change, I can take a few harsh words, I took bullets after all." he placed a kiss on your forehead.

"Do you want a girl or a boy?" you asked with a rather quiet voice.

"I don't really care, as long as both of you are safe and healthy."

"So you want a boy, got it." Tommy laughed you looked up at him, into his blue eyes. "I just want them to have your eyes."

"What if they don't?"

"Then we try until we have a child who does." you smiled at him as he looked at you.

"Just how many children my Missus want?"

"Oh, as many as my lovely husband would give me. We have a big house, it would be nice to have some life in it. Little you-s and I-s running around."

"I would like that. Honestly, I would like that very much. But let's see how you do after this one, then we will talk."

You hummed before you placed another kiss on his lips, letting him return to his paper as comfortable silence fell.

Taglist: imreadinggoaway @fleursirvart @v-2bucky ehsebastiancrunch-time-sports  @pxstelrainbow ablogbypeteparker liamssmilersmexylemony @greenarrowhead feelingsareharddd @thisismysecrethappyplace @sincerelyfan @theoneanna @aestheticsandmarvel @rororo06 @castellandiangelo @avengers-r-us @destynelseclipsa   @spilledinkindumpster celebsimagine @capsiclesdoll snoopy3000 @firstangeldragonranch @puknow @crazzyter  @alwayshave-faith @soleil-dor @alex12948 scream-kiwi79  @lxdyred  @imagines-by-a-typical-fangirl​ @liveforkarljacobs @anonymoussherlockandmarvelgeek @paola-carter​ @stunkbiggu @violet-19999​ @praline357​

~Masterlist~

ˇAO3ˇ

             DO NOT REPOST OR TRANSLATE ANY OF MY WORKS

[followthebluebell]

Happy new year!!! I hope this year treats you well and that all the cats remain in good health with minimal trips to the vet!!!

For new years, I will refrain from asking about cat butts. Instead, i wanted to get some tips on cat play? I don't know if my cat's temperament is just lazy, but she used to dash around the house way more and any wand toy would have her skidding like the worst F1 racer. Now, she just flops and bats pathetically at it. That, or she watches us drag the toy around so it feels like I'm doing the workout, not her. She's not particularly food motivated either

Is there anything I can do to get her to move more? She's not obese or anything, but figured exercise is still good for her.

Thanks for always filling my feed with gatitos!! It always brightens my day!

Thank you! Roomba has been doing remarkably well lately, so my hope is that she continues to thrive! Which... is pretty good for a cat I swore was dying just a few weeks ago >>;; I guess I got a little panicky over a little bit of pancreatitis.

alright, so any cat who's suddenly lost interest in their usual activities should be seen by a vet, just to eliminate the possibility of some health problem, etc, etc. We all think of arthritis as an old age thing (and it can be), but it can affect cats of all ages, just like people.

Now that that's out of the way, take a look at the toys you've got on offer. Are they all pretty much the same design? It could be that she's just bored of the same thing and could use some variety. Even if all she likes are wand toys, there are a few variations. Like my cats absolutely lose their shit over worm-ona-string. Da Bird toy is pretty popular among my work cats. The only reason i don't have one at home is because Saia destroys them. Quickly.

The Cat Dancer is VERY traditional. I don't think the design has changed in like 40 years and that's because it doesn't need to. It's perfect.

At work, I'm more likely to use a toy like this one, tbh, because it's easier to direct in a smaller space.

For non-wand toys, plastic springs are beloved. Your cat also might appreciate a tunnel to play in, if you've got the room for one. And keeping a few catnip toys lying around can be a hit too; I recommend this toy banana or this toy carrot. They fall into that ideal 'small enough to carry, but also large enough to kick' range that keeps a lot of cats happy.

I know you didn't ask for toy reccs, but variety may be just the thing your cat needs for a little encouragement.

Good luck and happy new year!

[sunderwight]

Thinking about the weird camaraderie that exists between demons but not angels in GO.

Have we ever seen two angels who are actually friends? Or even friendly to one another? We have met angels with a capacity to be friendly in general, but I think the closest we've come to two angels actually getting along would be Gabriel making a point to laugh at Sandalphon's terrible "can't have a war without War" line in S1.

Most scenes between the angels actually seem to have an undercurrent of absolute hostility. Teeth-clenched teamwork. No wonder it took them so long to notice that Aziraphale wasn't on the same page as the rest of them! The rest of them are barely on the same page as one another, either! When Gabriel goes against the majority vote, no one bats an eye at demoting him and wiping his memory. Michael and Uriel immediately begin vying for his job. The only times we've seen angels team up is when they're working together to bully someone else, like when they're trying to intimidate Aziraphale in S1 or going to the aftermath of the bookshop raid in S2.

Saraqael's overall neutrality towards Muriel is the closest we get to two angels in Heaven getting along, and it's more a lack of hostility than any kind of friendliness. At least until Gabriel loses his memories and Muriel shows up to spy on Aziraphale, and Aziraphale decides to be kind to both of them.

Demons, on the other hand, actually seem to form alliances and even friendships among one another. Hastur and Ligur are awful, but Hastur seems genuinely distraught over Ligur's death, not just fearful of suffering the same fate. Shax and Furfur conspire together and even though the 1940's investigation into Crowley's fraternizing doesn't work out for Furfur, it's not due to any double-crossing on Shax's part. Unlike the angels, who stick almost exclusively to making threats until the Metatron decides to try dangling a carrot at the end of the season, demons actually offer rewards to other demons when trying to work together. Beelzebub offers Crowley a promotion if he can bring them Gabriel, Furfur offers to back Shax up politically if she goes for the Duke position opening, and Crowley successfully stalls Hastur in S1 by pretending everything was a test and he's going to be put in charge of a legion as a reward for passing. They're still not great at socializing, but they're significantly ahead of the angels.

Of course, it's a fact that demons are awful to one another (Eric's treatment is really bad, they throw that random demon into holy water just to test it, "it'd be a funny world if demons went around trusting one another", etc) but they still seem more capable of forming friendships than the angels do.

I think that's because Hell cramps and crowds everyone together to try and increase their suffering and hostility, whereas Heaven isolates angels to decrease the odds of questioning or rebellion. Hell's methods are unpleasant, but it still ends up putting demons together, and some of those demons inevitably forge alliances and make friendships. Because as Crowley and Beelzebub demonstrate, demons are still social creatures with the capacity for love and affection, even if it's strongly discouraged and buried under nine million layers of trauma and a cultural mandate against kindness.

Angels are the same, but isolation makes is harder to form connections than overcrowding. Muriel and Jimbriel are both so eager to make friends, but Muriel's spent the past millennia shut in an empty office, and Gabriel has been distanced from his peers both through his position and also through Heaven's culture of fear and surveillance. He only breaks away from it when he finds something that's stronger than "choosing sides" (stronger than the fear of being rejected by Heaven and Falling, in fact strong enough that Falling seems worth it if he gets to be with someone he loves). Both Muriel and Gabriel are only able to start forming connections when they're away from Heaven.

I just think it's interesting that demons, despite being supposedly devoid of love, have an advantage in forming relationships compared to angels. Angels are supposed to love, but have far fewer opportunities to actually do so. Demons aren't supposed to love, but they make connections anyway.

[mxtxfanatic]

A-Yuan and His A-Die

Though not the biological child of Wei Wuxian, Wen Yuan very quickly adapts to the presence of this new caregiver in his life. And this makes total sense since the small child spent every day of his time in the Burial Mounds playing with Wei Wuxian:

On Burial Mound, heading fifty-or-so of the Wen Sect’s cultivators, Wei WuXian planted vegetables, repaired houses, refined corpses, and made new tools. Every day when he was free, he played with the toddler Wen Yuan, son of Wen Qing’s cousin. He either let him hang on trees or buried him in the ground, fooling him that he’d grow faster if he was watered and bathed in sunlight. ... With how long Wen Yuan had been on the mountain for, Wei WuXian felt that they couldn’t lock a child in such a place to play with mud all the time, and so one day, when he was shopping down the mountain, he took him along as well.

—Chapt. 74: Distance, exr

However, the affections go further than that. Wen Yuan internalizes Wei Wuxian as a father figure, so much so that when he gets lost in Yiling, his first instinct is to cry out for his "A-Die:"

Wen Yuan didn’t know what the people were talking about. When children were scared, they always called out to those they were close to. And so, sobbing, he called, “Dad! Dad...”

And we know that the "A-Die" in question is Wei Wuxian, because the moment Wen Yuan hears Wei Wuxian's voice in the crowd, he immediately goes to him.

Wei WuXian himself didn’t know why either, but he averted his gaze quickly. Hearing his voice, though, Wen Yuan got up at once. Dragging two long, flowing trails of tears behind him, he hung onto Wei Wuxian’s leg again.

Wei Wuxian even lightly teases the boy about this "new" address, as Wen Yuan only calls Wei Wuxian "Xian-gege" to his face:

Wei WuXian really had to be ridiculous. He could have fun just by teasing a child, putting the butterfly on his own head, “I’m not gonna. You even called him dad. What do you call me? You’ve only called me brother, an entire generation shorter than him!” Wen Yuan jumped, “I didn’t call him dad!”

—Chapt. 75: Distance, exr

But despite the tragically short time the two had together, these memories are so dear and formative to Wen Yuan that the mere sight of Chenqing is able to restore Lan Sizhui's memories years later:

Lan SiZhui puffed up his chest and drew in a deep breath. He began, “Claimed he had top-notch cooking skills, yet made dishes that were pungent both to the eye and to the stomach.” Wei WuXian, “Huh???” Lan SiZhui added, “Buried me in a field of carrots, saying I would grow taller quickly with water and sunlight, and maybe a few more children would sprout and play with me.” Wei WuXian, “...” Lan SiZhui continued, “Promised to treat HanGuang-Jun to a meal but ran off before paying, leaving HanGuang-Jun to pay again.” Wei WuXian widened his eyes. He almost couldn’t steady himself on the donkey’s back. He stammered, “You... You...” Lan SiZhui’s eyes were glued to Wei WuXian and Lan WangJi, “Maybe because I was too young, I cannot remember most of the things from back then. But, I am sure that... my surname used to be Wen.”

...

With another thought, [Wei Wuxian] asked, “Speaking of it, How did you remember, SiZhui?” Lan SiZhui, “I do not understand either. Something just felt really familiar when I saw Chenqing.” As expected, it was Chenqing. Wei WuXian, “Oh, of course it’d feel familiar. You loved eating Chenqing back then. You always drooled on it and made it so that I couldn’t play it.”

—Chapt. 111: Wangxian, exr

Truly the father-son pair we deserve.

[thefandomdirtymind]

Casual

18 +

OPLA - Vinsmoke Sanji

Part 2

Sanji series : SFW Shiny Offering NSFW The Small Favor - SFW The Mermaid Dream - SFW The Magic of a Kiss

A/N IMPORTANT: I didn't know exactly why but I wanted to write that fun and casual conversation between Sanji and reader remembering their sexy time. But I had to put a little bit of difficulties in it and I hope you will like it. I think to do a second part but I'm not sure yet...

Warning : Mention of a lot of sexual stuff : Oral Man ! and Female ! giving receiving, small bondage, penetration, bruises.

* English is not my first language, I tried really hard to correct myself but, I hope you will excuse me if some mistakes are still there.  

---

The golden light of the sunrise was reflecting in the calm water when Sanji put his feet in the restaurant. Redressing his freshly knotted tie, entering the kitchen like if he wasn’t fifteen minutes late, he suddenly stops on his track. At the instant he saw you, he knew he was screwed. 

Not that you looked at him directly, way too busy with the prep for the approaching brunch, neither that you seem mad ,even if your chopped carrots should've been smaller. In fact, he clearly recalled that when he had left your bed this morning, kissing your lips one last time, your naked form reaching for his warmth. You looked quite satisfied and relaxed. 

It was not either a sudden burst of love who struck him, even if he always had affection for you, that night was from the start nothing but casual sex. 

No, the reason he knew he was himself in deep shit wasn’t either because as he watched you, he could remember every inch of your skin he had feverishly kissed and bite. The problem is if Zeff discovers it. After all, even being his sous chef and prodigy couldn’t help him with the fact that he had fucked all night long his mentor daughter. 

" Don’t stay there like if the kitchen was on fire, little eggplant, put on your uniform and start helping " The man himself ordered, busy in his own corner.

Turning your gaze of your carrot to observe Sanji, you smiled. 

" Good morning Sanji " You said, your tone letting know nothing of your previous meeting in the dark. 

" Good Morning Y/N " He replied, as he put on his white jacket, a thin smile you didn’t quite know, of his lips.

" Did you sleep well, you seem a little bit…tired" You sweetly replied, returning to your carrots. 

" Yeah I had a short night…" He confessed, watching you, a warning in his eyes. 

" If you would stick to the menu, you wouldn’t be up all night thinking about some recipe I won’t allow in the restaurant and sleep like everybody else. " Zeff declared, lifting the heavy potato sack. 

" If we didn’t serve the same stuff everyday that restaurant would be less shitty " The blond retorted, starting to peel the vegetables, his anxiety slowly melting as he returned to his usual fight with the old man.  

— 

It seemed an eternity before you could remove your cooking clothes. Due to the celebration yesterday, many cooks were sick, making your father and the other employers double their shift. Like if you needed it, with the little sleep Sanji and you had. But, as you return to the empty kitchen, already dreaming of the softness of your bed, you notice the blond chef still busy chopping mushrooms.

" What are you doing ? " You couldn’t help yourself to ask, curious as to why he hadn’t headed to his bed for a well deserved night of sleep. " You should go to bed I’m pretty sure those mushroom will still be there tomorrow "

" Well, I kind of have a hard time trying to get out of my head the idea of your dad discovering what I have done to you" He replied unamused, stress and guilt clearly eating him from the inside. " You see I have a sentimental attache to most of my limbs and other parts" 

" Sanji, I would never tell him, we have been super discret and if I recall it clearly you aren’t alone in this. I had pretty vivid memories of sucking your dick until you begged me in french to stop " You teased, sitting on the counter. 

" Like if you hadn't melted at the minute I put my mouth on you" He mocked, this time his tone almost like his usual confident self. As he abandoned his task to face you. " And I really had to remind you that cute gasp you did when I push my finger on that sweet spot you never reach yourself " 

" It’s true it was a great discover, that you proudly celebrate " You conceded showing the hickeys on your clavicle "Maybe you didn’t gasped, but, I heard you a lot moaning and groaning, particularly when I was on top" 

" I have no excuse, your vision was magnificent and the feeling was incredible ." He replied " But I still regret the death of my tie " 

" It was for a great cause, that orgasm was one of the best I had. It’s a good thing your hand had muffled my scream because I was pretty sure I would have awake all the ship" You laugh, gladly remembering being hang by the hand to the wooden bedpost as Sanji was supported your leg around his hips thrusting in you as his life depended of it. Lucky for both of you, your bedroom was at the far end of the bedrooms corridor with no express neighbor.“ I will buy you a new one since I broke it. Even if it’s, you, who had bring it in bed "

" No need, I have many that look similar. Nobody will notice. But I will have to be careful to not be seen topless for a while. I'm glad your nails are short for cooking, my back looks like I had a fight with a cat over a fish. "

" It’s your fault, my leg was already shaking and you didn’t stop, I was on the edge of passing out ! "You protest laughing. " You deserve the scratch for making me lose my mind." 

" It’s an honor I accept gladly “ He proudly said, joining you in your laugh. " I admit that my own orgasm was way better than usual, I remember you moaning quietly in my ear even if I’m not quite sure what you said." 

" Sanji, at this point I’m pretty sure I could’ve whispered to you the recipe of an Apple Pie and you would have come. You were so close, trying to keep your control, I still have a faint bruise of your hand on my hip." 

" Isn't it when I eat you out during round two that I left that mark ? I had to keep you in place pretty hard, you were rolling your hips and didn’t want to stop moving "He recalls, a huge grin now on his face. " I still can heard you - Please Sanji don’t stop, don’t stop " 

"Ha ha ha " You rolled your eyes, still smiling at the memories." Sanji, I think we both really need to sleep, but I had to know...are we okay ? I will not talk to my dad about it, you will not too and we will live with that happy memories without a problem. We are just two friend and coworker who’s during the anniversary of their restaurant decide to casually fucked. Right ? " 

" Yes, exactly," He confirmed, cleaning his area. 

" Perfect, good night Sanji " You said, kissing his cheeks before jumping off the counter and exiting the kitchen. 

" Good night Y/N " The blond replied, watching you go.

Now he knew  he was totally screwed. Even though he hadn't truly lied, he was now reassured that your father will never know. He knew that he wasn’t clearly okay with this casual arrangement anymore. He knew at first that it wasn’t the idea of the century but after that night and the sweet way you look at him, always caring for him when nobody seem to, he couldn’t hide the issue anymore, he was slowly falling for you and he already know it, it's will hurt like hell.  

---

Part two ?

[sparkly-sediment]

are u have any speesbullet headcanin please?

yes kitten I sure do

Tf2 speedingbullet headcanons

Scout has the biggest, lumpiest, most unfathomably school girl crush you’ve ever see

Brother is skipping to and fro the camper

He acts all cool. Suave. Big dick, if you will. But deep down he is just a fast little boy running in circles on a treadmill. The proverbial carrot to his stick is Sniper

Scout thinks Sniper is like 40 for at least 18 months and only allows himself to realize his desire after

“well like since you’re 50 or whatever”

“?? mate I’m 27” and then the floodgates open

Sniper enjoys watching Scout dart around the battlefield from his sniper’s nest. At first it’s funny, like an ant writhing on the pavement, but then the ant gets cute. And then hot

Sniper would never spy on someone from above to jack off but he does think about it once. But like, cmon man he wouldn’t *really* do it

Not unless Scout brings it up first

They hang out a lot. So much so the team thinks they are legitimate friends- which they are!- but in all the time they spend together they started to open up and all that

Suddenly Sniper is invite to Christmas in Boston and Scout’s mom is ENTHRALLED with this! Sniper gets a shake down tho

Scout craves validation, especially from men (thanks for that spy), and it creates this crossroads for Sniper

Snipes can either acknowledge his issues with affection and vulnerability and you know, actually work to better himself, or he could simply Not and let the little romance crumble

He finds out Scout doesn’t know what a kangaroo is and starts reading self help books

Scout flirts obnoxiously but the second Sniper even makes eye contact it’s over. Neither of them can handle rizz but at least Sniper can keep functioning

He will tip his hat to cover his face on occasion. Scout sees this as an ultimate victory

They date for five months hefore they realize they’re dating and have a conversation that really didn’t need to be so scary

Intimacy is uncharted waters in the beginning! They’ve both slept with people, but nothing quite as electric as this, so they start a bit slow

Does not last long Scout thinks Sniper is SO HOT and Sniper looks at Scout and feels his stomach flip

Play fighting and then they legit start brawling then they make out and then ❤️

[adreamingofguns]

oooh what do you think people get wrong about hoffman and gordon??

OH BOY. Starting with Hoffman, people who characterize him as a daddy dom miss the character entirely. This man is a sub. Put this man in a dog collar immediately. in all seriousness, I also think the characterization of him being a murder maniac also feels... Wrong. We see him getting rid of everything, id and so on, and that feels... Final, to me. Like his Hoffmanator Murder Spree was not intended to be survivable, and only through sheer dumb luck did he manage to live (and because the cops in Jigsaw City are like. Very bad at their jobs). I also think that Hoffman is an extremely lonely man who WANTS to help people (his volunteers of America mug for sure, but also the fact that he comforted Corbett Denlon with a stuffed animal when he didn't have to, and the fact that out of everyone, he is the Only apprentice to target multiple white supremacists) and who only really sticks around because John was leading him with affection like a horse with a carrot on a string. We see this textually when John is encouraging Mark by touching his shoulder in a parental sort of way. I think Hoffman is passively suicidal throughout most of the series because it's the only thing that makes a Lot of his decisions make sense. Also kinda fucked up to make a suicidal guy go after a suicidal target, John.

ALSO THE WHOLE SLOB HOFFMAN THING. This man redecorated his house, this man has an ART NOOK and tasteful black leather that goes with his dark cherry or mahogany furniture. This man wears suits even when he doesn't have to. This man probably smells amazing. And he's fat. Stop drawing him skinny.

ALSO Lawrence is canonically a misogynist with a criminal record who either a) punches walls or b) fights people. This is in text, in the script and in the video games (which ARE canon). Lawrence kinda sucks and he FROM THE BEGINNING doesnt think John is a murderer, so him disagreeing with jigsaw is ooc because he canonically in the movie says "jigsaw doesnt kill people". I think also Lawrence is convinced of how jigsaw does actually help, which is why he goes to the meetings. ALSO LAWRENCE DID THE BOBBY DAGEN GAMES IN MY HEART WHICH KILLED JOYCE BECAUSE HES A MISOGYNIST. Lawrence sucks SO bad as a person, but as a character he's so compelling.

IN FACT STOP DRAWING LAWRENCE SKINNY TOO

[adobe-outdesign]

Could i ask for a review of the snow paintbrush? Its like the less popular cousin of the christmas brush lol

Snow, as a colour, is a pretty fun concept—making Neopets into snowmen as kind of a non-demoninational wintery Christmas counterpart. However, I do think the colour suffers a little bit from sometimes being bland. There's only so much you can do with a Neopet made of snow; most of them are just white pets with coal eyes and, if you're lucky, some small additions like leaves, twigs, carrots, scarves, etc. I do like the snow texturing and colored lineart, and it's not bad or overly bland compared to a lot of early colours, but it rarely stands out that much, either.

When it comes to customization, snow fared okay. Most snow pets did not have unique poses or body types, so the conversion didn't affect things too much. However, the biggest issue is that a lot of older snow pets were "lumpy" in nature, actually looking a bit like they were sculpted out of snow—see the Pteri above, which suddenly gained things like feathers and claws after conversion. Nostalgic pet styles were released recently for some species at least, so there's a good variety of options if the customizable version doesn't look quite right.

Favorite Colours:

Korbat: The snow Korbat manages to have everything a snow pet could want: good color balancing, nice integration of additional objects, excellent snow texturing, and lots going on so it doesn't feel plain or empty. The holly leaves are integrated perfectly into the ears and tail, and form a nice four-point palette with the white snow, brown sticks and red holly berries. My only nitpick is that I wish the holly was a wearable, just because it leans more towards Christmas than most snow pets and it would be nice if that aspect was optional seeing as we already have a Christmas colour.

Yurble: Similar to the snow Korbat, the snow Yurble has really good color balancing and nice integration of natural elements like the leaf mane. The coal eyes, nose, and claws help to add contrast and balance with the oranges and browns of the leaves. Both versions are good; I think I like the overall look of the customizable version a bit more, but the styled version gets points for being just a little cuter.

Buzz: This one's not anything too crazy, but I really like how the sticks are used in place of wings and even the cerci at the end of the tail, and how the leaves on the sticks are then used for the spines. It's a little dull in terms of colors, but the concept makes up for it. Only issue is that the coal eyes could be slightly more lumpy, as they mostly just look black here.

BONUS: The snow Kiko isn't anything special—the hair looks out of place and it's weird to have the regular bandage slapped on there instead of having it be sculpted in. However, the styled version is super cute for some reason, not only having a twig hair but super tiny arms, large coal pupils, and a little smile that make it much more appealing than it has a right to be. It was also one of the few pre-customization snow pets with a unique pose.

Least Favorite Species:

Jubjub: The worst a snow pet can be is bland, and that's the snow Jubjub—it's not terrible, it's just boring. However, it takes this spot above all the other boring snow pets because there was an obvious missed opportunity to have it just straight-up be a snowball. Plus the fur on the converted version is way too detailed and the styled version has a really weird expression that makes it look like it's about to start crying snowflakes.

[reodashi]

BNHA Smells

M.list

...

Deku - Smells like Spreamint and Lime, it's not strong... But subtle freshness.

Bakugo - He's evil... Unintentionally. He Smells so good, like cinnomin rolls and cookies, but he hates when people get too close.

Todoroki - Subtle lavender from his clothes, and subtle vanilla from his shampoo.

Kirishima - Axe... I love him... But it's axe body spray 100%

Iida - Fresh books, pencils, and oddly cranberries... No one asks why though.

Denki - Probably the second best smelling guy in 1-A, Smells like pumpkin spice and Apple cider... He's aware of it too.

Sero - Very subtle Smells, not strong at all... But vague fresh bread scent.

Uraraka - You know she smells good, she smells like berries, frosting, and candy.

Asui - Grass... It's not bad though. She just smells like fresh cut grass.

Momo - Fancy ass perfume, costed her like 200 bucks just to smell vaguely like vanilla and cocoa powder.

Jiro - I mean this in the best possible way, but basement... Not grungy or gross, but just that nice rustic smell basements give.

Tokoyami - He got a candle named 'Death' which smells of blackberries and coconut. He's emo and berrylicious.

Shoji - Bamboo, Campfires, and Rain... All depending on the day.

Ojiro - Freshly vacuumed carpet, and if he's felling fancy he uses citrus body wash.

Hagakure - Fruity cereals, strawberry milk, and occasionally hazelnuts.

Aoyama - Everyone say it with me! 👏 Jasmine👏 Starbucks👏 and cake batter👏

Sato - Duh, flour, cake, fresh pastries, and Gingerbread.

Koda - This one is hard... He either smells like a summer garden or farm hay...

Mineta - B.O. which he says is his natural musk. And sometimes tries to hide it with axe.

Aizawa - Apple pie, fireplaces, and fresh blankets. He Smells cozy.

Allmight - He Smells like pubs... Even though he doesn't got there often... He also smells a bit like blood.

Endeavor - He Smells like charcoal, gasoline, and arrogance. He Smells like he tries to hard, which is ironic since he didn't even try hard to become #1 hero since it was just handed to him after Allmight. 👀 And never tried hard to be a good dad👀

Present Mic - He Smells like fresh technology, you know when you unbox a phone and it smells similar to a fresh phone... It's like that.

Miss Midnight - She smells like Jasmine, aphrodiacs, and rose petals... Very flirty scents.

Nezu - Hamster food and coffee... I said what needed to be said.

Eri - She smells like candy stores, carnival sweets, and fresh plushies.

Hawks - He's a mix... His breath is minty fresh, his hair smells like masculine cologne, but his clothes smell like leather even though they aren't made from leather.

Mirko - *the lingering affection from simps* Jk... Sort of. She smells like protein shakes, new shoes, and carrot cake.

Shinso - Tea, coffee, energy drinks... Anything he consumes that helps him stay awake really...

Shigiraki - I know he smells dusty, he smells like mothballs, alleyways, and Walmart 100%

Toga - She smells like blood, I mean it's inevitable due to her quirk. Other than blood, she smells like cheap makeup, like the really chemically smelling stuff.

Dabi - *Daddy issues and burnt* He smells like hot summer days, peanut butter, and bleach due to his hair dye.

Twice - Beer, cigetettes, fresh pavement, and depression.

Overhaul - He smells fine, he smells like chalk and tree bark... But his mask smells NASTY, the bitch never cleans it.

...

[loominggaia]

Lilian's Cooking

A random idea regarding Lilian's vampirism and how it affects her relationship with food. The following text contains SPOILERS for future LG stories, so I will place it below a cut:

Lily is canonically bad at cooking because she was raised by vampires, so she never had to learn how to prepare food. I want to expand on this idea a bit.

I think all her years as a vampire actually messed up her sense of taste. Flavors are too intense for her because she's still not used to anything but the taste of blood. She complains that ketchup is "spicy"...

Meanwhile Zov is scarfing down lemons, hot chili peppers, and raw garlic because his antipsychotic medication dulls his senses, and he can't taste shit unless the flavor is extremely intense. He has no sense of smell either because his nose was broken too many times.

Lily has tried to cook a few times in the series and it never turns out well. Other characters have tried to teach her how to cook, and she just can't seem to get the hang of it. I think her own poor sense of taste is the main reason. It's one of those things she keeps trying, but she'll never be good at it.

She starts cooking for Zov when they're dating, but that only makes matters worse because he gives her advice like, "needs more flavor" when it's already waaay overspiced. She eventually gets good at cooking...for Zov specifically. And any meal that tastes good to Zov is totally inedible to anyone else. She can't even handle his level of spice herself, so she sets aside a portion for herself with zero spices. Everything she eats is really bland. Like, a piece of bread with mayo on it. Boiled peas and carrots with no salt. A plain muffin. Crap like that.

In the future, she enjoys cooking dinner for her family, and Zov doesn't notice how bad it tastes because he can't taste much anyway. Jennie certainly does notice though. She can choose between Mom's unflavored slop, or Dad's overflavored slop for dinner.

She doesn't want to hurt her mom's feelings, but she just can't stomach these horrid meals either...so she sneaks her food to Pinky when Lily's not looking. Zov also agrees to eat off Jennie's plate and gives her money for takeout, as long as Jennie promises not to tell Lily her cooking is terrible, because it will send her into an emotional spiral.

Jennie is fae, meaning she can't lie. So she has to get really creative when Lily asks how dinner turned out.

"It tastes, uh...surprising!"

"I can tell you worked hard on this, mom!"

"How's dinner? Um, well, Dad's already finished half his plate! That says it all, right?"

Poor Lily, she has no idea lol

*

Questions/Comments?

Lore Masterpost

Read the Series

[pastafossa]

How do you get past writer's block? I have a fic that I'm working on that is updating on a schedule, and I made the mistake of giving myself a month off in between parts and now I can't really get back into writing it. I don't want to leave it abandoned because I have a few people who I know are really invested and I don't want to leave them hanging, but I'm having a hard time getting as excited to write it as I did before.

Ok so I'm in a weird place for this, hilariously. Because The Answer That Usually Works For Me (TM) and that carried me through a regular weekly update schedule for almost two and a half years is, in fact, not at present working for me apparently my brain can write through a pandemic but not through recovery from the shit that went down in December/Jan so we found my writing kryptonite. However, I'm going to assume you're closer to 2021 Pasta than 2024 Pasta. SO LET'S GO WITH THE METHOD I NORMALLY USE SINCE IT WAS SUCCESSFUL FOR YEARS. Cause that's the thing: sure, I've written almost a million words, and pumped out chapters for years (ignoring the past few months) but I promise, I hit the same walls as everyone else even when nailing weekly uploads. But over those years, I came up with a fairly solid list of steps that I'd go through one by one.

Fun one first: when I'm in a block, I almost always try re-engaging with canon first. I'd rewatch my favorite episodes, binge a whole season, or even the whole series depending on how much of a boost I needed. For me at least that was often like Pavlov's bell, my favorite story triggering a flood of affection. I'd remember why I loved this fandom and the characters so much, and it could often kickstart my brain and excitement back into gear. If you really want to dangle a carrot and your fic touches on canon, focus on watching parts you're excited to get to in your story. A big one for me in TRT for example was the post-Nobu, Nelson v. Murdock episode, since I'd had that planned for TRT almost since the start, and I was very excited to reach the hurt/comfort I had planned. Even if your fic isn't following canon though, see if it'll give you a creative rush again!

So let's say step 1 doesn't work, either because the canon just isn't hitting the spot or because your fic is dealing with something else. In this case, my next step was usually to jump ahead to write a scene I was really eager to get to. It was often a short blurb, but it was always something I REALLY wanted to explore, and because I'm also a reader who likes exactly the tropes and plots I'm writing, I want to read what fucking happens. Except, fuck, I'm not there yet, am I? And I can't see how that scene finishes until I write my way up to it and finish it. This is my own carrot. Multiple scenes in TRT were written months or even years in advance, simply as a way to bribe myself. This is also an option!

But maybe this doesn't work. Sometimes it didn't. This is when it got a bit more serious. For anyone who was reading at the time, you'd have noticed that I'd sometimes drop side fics, either Matt POVs or one-shots. This was me, in essence, working on the shower principle (basically, ideas/solutions will come if you stop thinking about it and do something else, like take a shower). I figured if I went and wrote something else - either with less stress, or something fun and dopamine-inducing - the part of my brain focused on my Big Fic would wander around the writer's block beneath my notice. And it almost always worked, all while I still kept my brain trained that, hey, even if we're not writing This Thing, we're still writing.

But let's say this doesn't work either. You're well, and truly, stuck. Been there now and then. And, you're going to hate this one. I hate it but it works 9 times of 10. And it is: Write anyway. Half of it was spite. I was not going to give up my schedule, I liked my schedule. The other half was that I knew myself. I knew if I could just get past the chapter/plot/dialogue I was struggling with, I'd be able to roll along again. And so I made a rule: whatever I wrote didn't have to be pretty. It just had to exist. If that meant I wrote, "Jane chased the cat in circles and caught it. She was happy." then that's what I wrote. Because everything, EVERYTHING, can be fixed in editing. But you can't fix what doesn't exist. And so there were those nights when I would scowl and groan and snarl and bash my head against that writer's block until 5 in the morning, but in the end Jane chased that fucking cat adn caught it, it was written. Hilariously, sometimes those chapters have wound up amazing (likely because I spent so much time hammering at them) and reader favorites. There are absolutely, I believe, moments where you can, and should, see if you can push through.

But that brings me to *waves* now. A lesson I've only recently recently and with encouragement. Namely... sometimes brain no go and that's ok. My steps work for me 99.9% of the time, but I've done the above during the past few months, and it just... hasn't dragged me out entirely out of it yet. Sometimes, our brains demand that break, especially when things just aren't going great. There's a reason TRT had a break of roughly 2 years between chapter 4 and chapter 5 (feel free to check the chapter index with dates on AO3!). I had some life things happening and I just was not in a place to write, even if I was still busily plotting and planning and thinking about TRT behind the scenes. And that was ok. We're not machines. I came back like a bulldozer in Jan 2021, yes, and bulldozed through weekly updates, but that break was needed. And now I'm obviously taking a short one again while I recover from everything. It's ok if you're not in a place for it. So the last step is one I've been told a lot by dear friends recently as they helped me through this: be kind to yourself, and try not to stress if none of the above works. The story will always be there, and if TRT is any indication through all its highs and lows, your readers will be there when you start up again.

[weird0strawberry]

hello, its me again I'm going to give you rabbit facts. - rabbits don't like carrots that much actually, having too many can actually hurt their immune systems, its amazing as a treat though, Usually they prefer greens, like Lettuce or Celery, And the tops of carrots are their favorites. - they can pass out from fear / fall over, or even, die from it. - Rabbits are very sensitive creatures and need a based diet with fruits, vegetables and most preferably store made kibble. If their diet is interrupted, or say they only get potatoes for multiple months, that can lead to lots of issues for the rabbit and lead to problems with their stomach, or even problems with their movement skills, since rabbits need a very special diet! - Rabbits love cuddling eachother, they love affection in general, rabbits will rub their noses together as affection, or even play fight / chase eachother around, rabbits that are bonded will groom/clean eachother regularly and cuddle at bedtime, they need someone to have with them or they will become lonely and depressed, if their rabbit friend suddenly disappears they will also get sad and grieve, a good way to keep a rabbit from being depressed is giving them a stuffed animal that resembles a rabbit that has furr they can clean or mimic grooming with, and cuddle. They're very social creatures. - Rabbits feet are very sensitive, they need to have a place to stand on that isn't hot or hard on the feet, like, wood as an example, usually cages with bottoms that are empty have wooden platforms for the rabbit to stand on, since without those they can get soles on their feet, or they can loose some motor skills. - Rabbits ears are very sensitive, they need to be cleaned regularly by either the rabbit itself or their mate, If not cleaned regularly they will get infections easily, which are nasty. - Rabbits do not like ducks. - Rabbits usually have a lot of energy and are very agile creatures, being in a cage all day is very bad for them if they cannot run around enough, letting them out of the cage is good for them and letting them run around your house or outside is something that can keep your rabbit healthy and happy. - Rabbits are very prone to overheating. - Again with the potato thing, usually with my experience atleast rabbits aren't very fond of potatoes, they prefer more green vegetables, my rabbits always chose lettuce or celery over potatoes, even strawberries. Or any other plant i offered. i love rabbits if you want more lmk

so what I’m hearing is that Pandora’s vault,,, might not be the most enriching environment for rabbits lol

but as for rabbit hybrid c!dream god,,, it would be fucking tragic that hey, even if c!q didn’t particularly target mobility or his feet or burn him, just the mere fact of being in Pandora’s vault is doing permanent damage. Torture made it worse, but some of the hardest to recover from things are just collateral damage of the prolonged suffering imprisonment in a lava box and malnourishment/starvation do to someone

also hhhh c!punz/c!techno/someone tenderly bandaging damaged feet/ears that c!dream just got so used to ignoring… a wound left to fester so long, it’s become part of you… a mark for c!sam to be proud of