#and then i guess i can make pasta with butter for dinner

[newtness532]

need to find something to eat that isn't bread with cheese or bread with jam or pasta

[cheriladycl01]

hiya could you maybe write a Fernando x Reader one shot, where something happens between the two of them they get into a fight and Fernando gives the reader the silent treatment refuses to talk to them. Goes on for a few days and finally the reader cracks and is really upset and cries in front of Nando reader thinks he doesn’t love her anymore etc.. and they make up in the end.. as much as I want it angsty I do love the fluff in the end

The Silent Treatment - Fernando x Reader

Plot: You and Fernando get into a rare fight. It’s a big one though and you say something you didn’t really mean making Fernando give you the pouty silent treatment …

You and Fernando were like salt and pepper and butter and bread. You rarely argued and always got alone, if you did argue you both had effortless communication skills meaning that whatever happened was resolved pretty quickly.

But after a not so good race weekend for Fernando that you couldn't attend because you were halfway across the world singing for a collab bran deal you were doing and a stressful weekend for you creating content for this brand deal you were exhausted when you got him straight from the plane Monday night.

"Hey" you smile tiredly at Fernando who is sat on the sofa. You're so sleepy you don't even notice his sour look.

"What is this?" he demands looking around the house and you look over to him confused at his raised voice.

"What?" you ask and he gestures to the house, you look around and you could tell it was a little disorganized and messy than it usually was but not dirty or unclean.

"Sorry honey, but we've both been extremely busy this weekend! I left only a few hours after you. You came back before me" you giggle thinking he wasn't actually mad, but the minute he stood up starting to do everything himself in an overly aggressive way had you at a stand still. Like a deer caught in headlights. He'd never acted like this before. It must have been a really bad weekend.

"Baby, why don't you sit down. We're both tired and I can just do it tomorrow while you are on the sim!" you exclaim coming closer to him to try and pull his arm away from the clothes hamper he was currently putting stuff into.

"God, why wasn't any of this done before you left?" he asks with almost a glare and you are in shock.

You and Fernando never expected anything from one another, whether it was Sex, Chores, Help... nothing was expected at all. So why was he demanding this should have been done by you before you left.

"I guess I was just busy" you explain.

"Busy more like lazy" he mutters, which was true sometimes you did have a tendency to have home days off where you didn't do any chores or shopping and would just laze about, but every needed those kind of days... right?

"Alright says Mr Crash on turn 1, maybe you should be focusing more on racing than bothering me about stupid little things and you might actually win again!" you say in the heat of the moment.

You regret it almost straight away blubbering after trying to back track what you said but it had already all come out.

"Nando, I- I didn't mean that I'm so so sorry!" you exclaim, but he just walks off going into the spare bedroom shutting and locking the door behind him.

Tears fill your eyes as what you said really settles in. You start to make dinner for the both of you with scraps from the cupboards and whatever was in-date in the fridge. It ended up just a simple pasta and home made garlic bread.

"Nando?" you knock on the door to the guest bedroom hoping he might come out for some food. When he doesn't after a few minutes you sigh going back to the kitchen. You wrap up his food with some clingfilm, leaving it out on the plate to cool down while you go round the house doing all the bits that hadn't been done while you and Fernando hadn't been here.

They were just little bits, like the clothes and drying up and putting the blankets from the sofa away in their basket, hoovering and dusting the stairs. Small little jobs that weren't taking you long.

The more you thought about it, the worse you felt. You could have just done these jobs before you left it wouldn't have been difficult and it wouldn't have taken much time. You were just very stressed over the brand deal.

You went to bed feeling incredibly guilty. You tossed and turned the whole night not being able to sleep with your husband not cuddled up in the bed with you.

You woke up the next day, going straight to the shower trying to wash away all your emotions from the previous night ready to start on a clean slate with Fernando.

However, what you didn't expect was Fernando to be waiting outside the ensuite for you.

"Buenos Dias!" you smile at him, but he just brushes past you, ignoring your morning greeting to him.

And that's how it went for the rest of the day. He would just leave the house without saying anything, coming back sweaty and with his trainer. He would refuse to eat the food and drinks you made for him, making you have to double up whatever you made for lunch as your dinner so the food didn't go to waste.

You tried at ever opportune moment to try and talk to him but he kept on ignoring you. It was stressing you out, all of this silent treatment. Was he really being this petty.

But once it got to day 3 you'd had enough. You were practically pulling your hair out at the fact the he had said nothing. You were doubting yourself wondering if you were really that horrible of a person and that Fernando no longer loved you.

You were laying in bed when he came home, sobbing into the pillow that still faintly smelt like him despite him not having been in the bed for the last few days.

Fernando was shocked to not see you, for the last few days you'd practically been running yourself raw trying to get himself to talk whilst cleaning then house. You'd even cancelled a few job opportunities that had come your way, feeling as though even more distance between the pair of you would be awful.

Now Fernando was the one to feel bad, he knew he was being petty by not talking to you, and he agreed with himself that he over-reacted when it came to your arrival home. But at the same time what you said to him, really really fucking hurt.

He knocked on the door and your sobs turned into small hiccups as you attempted to calm your breathing down.

"Yeah?" you ask, but it sounds a little chocked up to Fernando who feels just awful.

"Mi Amore!" he says as he pushes open the door a little. You fully sit up on the bed, red puffy eyes and tear stains down your cheeks making him sigh.

He didn't mean to make you this upset.

"I'm sorry Nando, I really didn't mean it I just was so confused why you were so angry with me and then you called me lazy which I know i can be but you've never said it as more than a joke and ..." you ramble until he comes forward pulling you into a sweet and short kiss.

"I'm the one that should be sorry, I didn't mean to call you lazy. I was just exhausted after an awful weekend and it didn't help that you were absent for it... i just felt useless" he explains and you nod.

"Please can we go back to talking things out? I don't like it when you freeze me out! It feels awful. I thought ... you didn't love me anymore and were looking into a divorce" you almost whimper at the thought of Fernando cutting ties with you in such a legal fashion. You genuinely thought that would break your heart.

"I'd never leave you mi amore! You are without a doubt the best thing in my life!" he exclaims pulling you into a hug and kissing the top of your head.

"I love you so so much! I'll talk to you next time okay? I promise" he sighs kissing all over your face, knowing you'd both be working overtime for the next few weeks, apologizing to one another.

Taglist:

@littlesatanicassholebitch @hockey-racing-fubol @laura-naruto-fan1998 @22yuki @simxican @sinofwriting @lewisroscoelove @cmleitora @daemyratwst @lauralarsen @the-untamed-soul @thewulf @itsjustkhaos @purplephantomwolf @chasing-liberosis @summissss @gulphulp @starfusionsworld @jspitwall l @sierruhhhh @georgeparisole @youcannotcancelquidditch @tallbrownhairsarcastic @ourteenagetragedy @peachiicherries @formulas-bitch @cherry-piee @spilled-coffee-cup @mehrmonga @bigsimperika @blueberry64857959 @eiraethh @curseofhecate @alliwantisadonut @dark-night-sky-99 @i-wish-this-was-me @tallrock35 @butterfly-lover @barnestatic @landossainz @darleneslane @barcelonaloverf1life @r0nnsblog @ilove-tswizzle @laneyspaulding19 @malynn @viennakarma @landosgirlxoxo @marie0v @yourbane @teamnovalak @nikfigueiredo @fionaschicken @0picels0 @tinydeskwriter @ironmaiden1313 @splaterparty0-0 @formula1mount

[fatphobiabusters]

yall are weird as hell for making weight loss seem impossible to people dying from obesity when thermodynamics says otherwise. energy cannot be created from nowhere. if you are eating less energy than your body needs to move and function, and you are still living, then your body needs to get the energy from somewhere. and guess what the whole purpose for fat is! before you promote laziness and giving up, go back to biology class bae xx

I'm about to fall asleep after a long day of driving. 6+ hours on the road with my German friend who's an international student at my university. We stopped at a fun restaurant in the middle of no where and she got to try gator tail for the first time. We felt the humid sea breeze of the ocean as we laughed and talked over our lunch.

We drove through Tampa and walked along the water at night.

I taught her about American road trip games like "I spy." She laughed until she had tears in her eyes at my pretend southern accent. We ate ice cream and saw such cute candies as we explored.

She celebrated my birthday with me and even made me a reese's peanut butter cake for my birthday! The vanilla pudding she used for the filling and icing was delicious.

Tomorrow we're going to a nice restaurant with my dad to celebrate my birthday. I'll be showing her my hometown, we'll take pictures at the beach in pretty dresses, and she's excited to visit an Italian market that has the type of bread she loves yet can't get at grocery stores here.

We talked about our childhoods and families, ate pasta for dinner at midnight because we didn't get to where we're staying until 11 PM, and we had an amazing day sharing our cultures with each other.

I happened to look on Tumblr before falling asleep after such a fun day and saw this ask. I looked at your profile too.

And all I can think as I lay here excited about the fun day I have planned tomorrow with my friend is that I hope you get a better hobby than trying to harass and oppress a marginalized group on a dying website with your sad blog you use to hurt both yourself and the people around you.

I actually have a life outside of social media, and I hope you get one too.

-Mod Worthy

[gweninred]

cooking

melissa schemmenti

mention of sex

just a fic based on s2e4 where melissa invites janine in her house to learn cooking.

It came as a shock to you when Melissa invited Janine to your house after seeing her make pork rinds with peanut butter. You'd never thought your wife would invite one of her colleagues. "What time? I mean, can I come? I need you to help me with my wine pairings. Zach gets embarrassed when I ask the clerk for the second least expensive bottle." Jacob jumped up from his seat, Melissa was gathering her things to go back to class. "Well, I couldn't think of a reason why you can't quick enough, so yeah, I frickin' guess you can, buddy." The redhead slapped his shoulder, then turned around to pick up Janines peanut butter ramen to throw it away. "Get rid of that!" She walks out of the room. "Whoa!" Janine threw her hands in the air. "Here, have some of mine so you don't starve today." You offered her the other half of your grilled cheese.

Later that day, the doorbell rang at your shared house. "Will you get that, honey?" Melissa asked, grabbing a few wine glasses from the cabinet. You walked to the door, and there were standing Janine and Jacob. "Hey guys!" They stepped into the house. "Oh wow." They looked around the house. Janine went to look at the wall full of pictures. "This is, uhm... It's Melissa." Jacob chuckled. "Oh, it used to be worse. When I hadn't moved in yet, she had plastic over her couch." You told them. "But don't bring that up, though; it sits deep." Jacob held up a bottle of wine. "I brought this. I think it's called a 'blend' because they just mix all the best wines together." You led your colleagues to the kitchen, where Melissa was. "Well, hello to you too." Janine went to give your wife a hug. "Hey. Did you bring the onion?" Melissa quickly turned away to avoid giving the other teacher a hug.

"Yeah!" Janine went to look in her bag. "That's a shallot?" Melissa held up the grocery. "A what now?" The brunette asked. "A shallot. I said, get an onion." You walked to the fridge to get a bottle of wine. "Oh, Janine thought it was an onion that was adorable and small like her, and who am I to shatter that illusion?" Jacob cut in. "Wine?" You asked. "It seems more like I need vodka right now." Melissa was annoyed. "Ooh! Now I get to patronize a local vendor. Brb!" Jacob pulled on his coat to get an onion. "I swear to god, if you get a white onion!" Melissa yelled at him before he shut the door behind him.

"So, what are we making?" Janine asked, you handed her a glass of red wine. "Pesto pasta." You told her. "And I only like it when Melissa makes it." You walked up to her, placing the glass of wine on the kitchen counter in front of her. "She's my cooking princess." You smiled up at her, placing a kiss on her temple. "Yeah, Y/n isn't normally allowed in the kitchen when I'm cooking." Melissa wrapped her arm around your waist, pulling you close to her. "So, Janine, you can start by peeling this garlic." She handed her a cutting board and knife. "Just cut into very small pieces." Janine hummed. "So, what's my job tonight, babe?" You asked, squeezing Melissa's waist. "Just make sure the pasta doesn't overcook." She slipped away from your grip to continue her cooking. "Okay, boss." You hopped onto the counter next to the stove, sipping on your glass of wine.

Around 45 minutes later, the table was set. Some scented candles were burning around the house (Melissa's favorites, white musk and warm vanilla). and the onion Jacob went to get successfully made into the pesto sauce. Another bottle of wine had opened after dinner, with Melissa telling Janine she did well for her first cooked dinner.

"If you spill wine on the couch, I'll sue you." Melissa tells her coworkers, as they take a seat in the living room, you are sitting next to your wife. "So I also brought these cards to get to know each other more." Janine is excited. A sigh escaped the redhead's mouth, and you poked your elbow in her side. "Okay, Jacob!" Janine grabbed one of the cards. "If you could invent anything, what would it be?" Jacob crossed his legs, thinking. "A time machine. You know I love history, so I'd love to travel back in time." He explained. "Crab the next card, Jacob." Janine told him. "Y/n, what is your favorite thing about home?" He asked you. "Oh! Easy, Melissa, of course." You smiled at her, her hand creeped up your back, rubbing soothingly. "You're sweet." She placed a kiss on top of your head. "Ahw." You heard from Janine. "When Terique and I were together, he always told me I-" Melissa cut her off. "No one is making you tell these stories, you know?" You grabbed a card. "Right..." The other teacher sat back, sipping her wine. "Melis, what is a secret you never told anyone?" You asked. Melissa placed her wine on the coffee table, thinking. "A secret I haven't told anybody." She thought out loud. 

Melissa turned to you. "You know my boyfriend before you?" She rubbed your arm. "Gary, the vending machine guy?" She nodded. "We were in a relationship, and we never had sex." She giggled. "Ever?" Jacob asked, his mouth agape. "Never," she confirmed. You lauguhed, feeling tipsy. "How did you keep that up for so long?" You asked. "And why didn't he, you know, how could he resit you?" You were confused as to how he could ever resist Melissa, in your eyes the most beautiful woman. "Well, maybe it was kind of me. Now I know I'm more into  women."She wrapped her arms around you to keep you close.

A few hours had passed, and you were now sitting on Melissa's lap sideways, your arm wrapped around her neck as she held you around your waist. Janine and Jacob had left around 11. Melissa gave the leftover to Janine so she could eat it tomorrow at lunch. You had been making out but felt quite tired. You kissed down Melissa's neck, but your kisses were getting sloppier by the second. "Let's go to bed." You mumbled against her neck. You were now a little more than tipsy. "Alright, hon." Melissa pulled you up, holding hands as you made it up to your shared bedroom.

"I couldn't imagine never having sex with you." You slurred as you two lay in bed. Your head is lying on the redhead's chest. "I would have sex with you right now if I wasn't this tired." Melissa giggled at your words, slightly massaging your scalp. "Goodnight, honey."

[undead-supernova]

HIGH TOLERANCE

Masterlist

important note: this is a one-off of my High Tolerance series! I suggest reading everything else to understand what the hell is happening and why this is important to the story hehehe!

warnings: fluff to the nines with a hint of desire, smoking weed (obviously), body image mention, death mention

pairings: modern!bestfriend!Eddie x bisexual!fem!reader

plot: this is the one where you and Eddie smoke weed together for the first time--well, amongst other silly little firsts (about five months after they first met)

this was already something I'd been thinking of but I heard the song Close One by FIZZ and it is so Eddie and Weirdo coded it's crazy

wc: 4.8k

Eddie watched as you took a few steps past the door, walking slowly as if you were in some art gallery. Tentative steps that echoed off his empty walls and unsettled wooden floors. Noticing the hum of the air conditioning and birds chirping near the windowsill.

This was the first time you’d been in his new apartment.

There were boxes everywhere, some half-opened, others not at all. You’d insisted that you could help him with the move, but he’d shaken his head. Told you that Steve, Jeff, Gareth, and Grant could do it. Told you that you’d be his first house guest once he got everything figured out.

But, uh. Well.

There were boxes in every corner. No table. Only a plank of wood on top of two extra-large boxes in front of a TV being held up by yet another box. But he loved it. This was the first place he could call his home, no matter how shitty or overpriced the place was. He had a view of the street and a place to put his amp. A fridge with next to no food. A mattress with no frame. 

It wasn’t exactly a palace and Eddie knew that. But it was his.

“This is a fucking palace if I’ve ever seen one,” you said, turning to see Eddie leaning up against the door. His eyebrows raised. “I’m surprised you don’t have any guards standing outside. What if a dragon gets in?”

The smile you gave him was playful, without a hint of judgment. 

“Guess I’ll have to slay it with my bare hands,” Eddie replied, finally pushing himself off the door to flex his nonexistent muscles.

“Wow,” you said, placing your hands over your heart. “I’m shaking in my little boots.”

“What can I say?”

Eddie gave you a grand tour of his studio apartment, which consisted of walking about twenty steps to the bedroom before turning to the bathroom and coming right back to the surprisingly spacious kitchen but tiny living room. 

The two of you mainly stood at the small island separating the kitchen and living room, leaning over with your chins propped up by your hands. Discussing where to put his Dio and Iron Maiden posters. Contemplated going to the thrift store for a couch. Wondered if you could change the upholstery yourselves if you didn’t like the fabric but loved the feel. Decided you were too stupid to even try to figure that out. 

By the time you checked your phone, it was nearing evening.

“Should we cook dinner?” you asked. “I’m hungry as fuck.”

He raised an eyebrow. “Cook?”

Eddie didn’t know much about cooking. Robin and Steve had been the ones to stock the fridge and take turns at the stove. Eddie was merely there to watch or be called to meals, savoring every last bite like he could wake up the next morning without the access again.

A part of him was still reeling from Spaghettios and whatever low-priced high fructose corn syrup meal Wayne left in the pantry. There was nothing like spending nights by the shitty TV eating saltine crackers and peanut butter. Sometimes blocks of cheese when Wayne wanted to try making sandwiches before work—but those attempts never lasted very long.

“Yeah, like we could make chicken Alfredo and some garlic bread.”

He shrugged. “I was thinking like, you know, takeout or something. There’s a Thai place across the street.”

You gave him a weird look. “Do you not cook?”

“Uh, no. I don’t really know how.”

“Chicken?” He shook his head. “Pasta?” Another shake.

You nodded, walking over to pick up your purse. “If you’re going to be living alone, I think I should at least teach you how to cook pasta, chicken, and bread.”

“Where are you going?” he asked.

“We,” you started, fiddling with your keys. “are going to the grocery store.”

Eddie groaned, dramatically falling to the floor. “I fucking haaaaate going to the grocery store. It takes fucking forever out here.”

You smiled with an eye roll. “Get up, you dramatic queen.”

He sighed, letting you help him to his feet before grabbing his wallet and keys. 

“The one and only.”

“Mm. Yeah, well you haven’t gone to the grocery store with me. I’ll show you the way.”

You truly were a wizard when it came to navigating the grocery store in fifteen minutes or less. Kroger was your bitch and he respected the hell out of that. On top of it all, you explained how to shop cheap as you whisked him around. You never grabbed his hand, settling for his wrist. 

Was it weird that he felt a sting of disappointment?

Despite this, he loved watching you move, watching you move him.

Bakery.

You hummed, fingers ghosting over the different breads. “See, you get the bread that’s a dollar or two, the ones that are on sale because they’re a few days out from going bad,” you explained, plucking a French baguette out of one of the top shelves. “That way,” you turned to him. “you’re saving money and have enough for a few days.”

Aisle 14.

“So, you get that cheap fettuccine,” you said, crouching down to grab the generic brand before immediately popping back up. “It really doesn’t matter anyways. Well, as long as you cook it all the way through.”

Produce.

“You have garlic?” you asked. 

Eddie only shook his head, almost embarrassed at the idea that he was supposed to have it.

But you just smiled. 

“No problemo. I didn’t either before someone showed me.” Grabbing a giant jar of minced garlic, you chucked it in the basket. “This will last you a long, long time. I haven’t gotten another bottle in months and I use it in just about everything.”

Meat.

“Always grab the ones that are on sale since they’re going bad sooner. It’s still good and you can just cook it up to use for a few more meals if you’d like. Should we get you tortillas? I feel like you could get good at making a mean quesadilla.”

Eddie rolled his eyes, watching the ingredient list stack up, wondering how much everything was about to cost. 

“Next time.”

“Next time,” you promised.

And after grabbing heavy whipping cream, mozzarella, parmesan, and basic spices for the alfredo sauce, claiming that you were able to make more than what a jar could provide him, you headed to the self-checkout. You insisted on buying everything despite his protests. Even cooking pans and spatulas. 

“You really don’t have to.”

“I have a Kroger card. You’re saving me, like, fifty cents on gas.” As you scanned, you added, “Consider it a housewarming gift.” 

Eddie didn’t know what to think about your kindness, the way you were able to just give to him without a second thought. It was a friendship that seemed beyond the realm of tough boundaries. You were able to help and provide your support without asking anything in return. Without thought, without any demand of him. Offering aid, leading with an open mind and heart. 

It occurred to Eddie that he still didn’t know what to think of you.

“Always use butter,” you stated, giving him a serious stare. “You will fuck up your nice new pans and your chicken if you use oil.”

As he watched you cook, with a little furrow between your eyebrows as you focused, Eddie couldn’t help but wonder what it would be like to have this be a regular occurrence. If he could always have you here, cooking and laughing with him. Dancing around the small space to Nova Twins and Black Sabbath all the time, using his spatula as a multi-purpose tool—a cooking utensil, a microphone and a guitar.

“Are you even paying attention?”

“Ah, yeah, sorry.”

“Yes, what?”

Eddie snorted. “Yes, chef.”

But there was a little something he couldn’t shake, noticing for the first time how your black babydoll dress fit you, with lace dripping down below the hemline. His eyes traced down your body as you preoccupied yourself, a new sort of heat reaching his cheeks. It was starting to move further through him, finding its way down, down, down…

Without thinking, Eddie shook his head and opened the cabinet next to you, placing a wooden box on the counter. It was littered with stickers, chipped and nicked from being used and moved so often. As he lifted the top, the aroma of cannabis hit the two of you like a particularly brutal wave.

“Woah, there!” you said, looking down with wide eyes. “What do you have there, Mr. Munson?”

Your reaction was nearly unreadable. He couldn’t blame you. There was a stockpile, with cones and papers and a few edibles and rolled joints. Little jars full of bud. An extra pack of cigarettes.

He hadn’t really thought about what you’d think about it or if you smoked at all. As he combed through his memory, he found no recollection of you mentioning it at all since you’d met.

“Oh, uh,” he mumbled, continuing to pull out a particularly pretty joint. “You smoke?”

Something in his stomach twisted when he saw a wide grin reach your lips. Because, Jesus, you were cute. Had he really not noticed just how cute you were until then? He did everything he could to prevent the heat from returning, but the steam omitting from the stove was making it worse.

“Do I smoke?” you teased. “I can’t believe you just asked me that.”

Relief ran through him at your banter, knowing he picked you well when he asked to be your best friend. “I didn’t know!”

“I clearly didn’t show you my bong collection. That’s my bad.”

That pulled a laugh out of Eddie. 

Being around you was just as easy as being around Wayne. It was something resembling familial, but for some reason today was beginning to show him that it extended far beyond that. It was like with each passing moment spent in each other’s company, the definitions and adjectives were shifting and stretching into something he couldn’t quite articulate. Something he couldn’t quite put his finger on.

“What the fuck are they even saying?” As Eddie looked at the name of the album on your phone, Этажи, he added, “How do you even pronounce that?”

You shrugged. “I don’t fucking know. But it’s cool, right? Like, this is goth music from Belarus. Belarus. Isn’t that cool? The guitars, the fuzzy feeling. The baur-dunnunununun,” you sang along, imitating playing the drums. You were actually quite rhythmic, able to follow along to the beat perfectly. “I listen to this on repeat all the time. It’s so addictive.”

Since the two of you finished dinner and split a joint, you had gone on a full on mission to induct Eddie into the world of goth rock. The Eighties classics, the recents. Bauhaus, Joy Division, Siouxsie and the Banshees, London After Midnight, She Wants Revenge, Alien Sex Fiend, etc etc. 

At first, Eddie was opposed to the whole thing, extremely disinterested. But you were adamant to keep going, to delve into the subculture and expose him to the magic. The dancing began to make sense to him, watching as you gave a demonstration. Your face angled towards the floor, your arms high. Wrists twisting and turning as you swayed back and forth. The lace moved and twirled wherever you went, your outfit fitting the music perfectly.

He was starting to understand, with each string of poetic lyricism and atmospheric stroke of the guitar—the same thing he’d always seen in Black Sabbath. The outfits, the makeup. The defiance against modern society and culture. The romanticism, the guttural heartbreak. The yearning. Pining. The desperation for something pure and lovely to hold onto. It was something else, something special all on its own and his judgment had been extremely unwarranted. 

“I didn’t get what you meant before about it having its own sound, but that’s on me,” he admitted. “I’m sorry for being a little bitch.”

Your smile grew as you continued dancing around him, eyes never leaving his. Eddie turned to hold your eye contact as you swayed, nearly mesmerized by your movement. He wanted to blame it on the haze of the weed, but something scratching at his brain told him it was just you.

“That’s the last time you doubt me, alright?” you said, seemingly closer than before. This time, you were dancing even slower as you circled him. It was starting to make his mouth dryer than it was already.

“The last time, indeed,” he responded.

Your playlist started over, the haunting beginning to “Bela Lugosi’s Dead” filling Eddie with an odd sense of ease. It was kind of like metal, but stripped down. The beat never stopped moving, always pushing forward in a soothing way. What the hell did they pump into these songs?

“Look at us, unplugged from the outside world,” he said with a little laugh as the two of you sat down on the floor. Your backs against the wall, cross-legged. “We’re so cool and different.”

You raised an eyebrow at him, a smile never leaving your lips. “I’m usually unplugged when I’m not at work.”

This was news to him. You were always quick to answer his texts whenever you were off, always at a rapid fire pace. In fact, it was unusual if you weren’t texting him back. 

But Eddie decided to keep that to himself, letting you continue.

“Everyone is so loud these days.” You began to gesture with your hands, nearly hitting his arm. “‘This is the right opinion. No, this is. Who said what. This stranger is too judgmental, this one isn’t critical enough. Oh, look, this celebrity is wearing something. Wanna hear about a YouTuber you don’t give a shit about having beef with another YouTuber you don’t give a shit about?

“‘Want to make money dancing to sped up classics? Well, how about we do it so much that artists are rearranging their already awesome music to appease an audience. Let’s bully kids. Let’s doxx people. Did you see this? What about that? Well, why aren’t you online? Do you not care? Here’s the news. Oh, wait, that’s the wrong news. Someone famous is having a baby. A Kardashian just broke up with someone, can you believe it? Let’s make body sizes a trend and follow every celebrity who has changed their appearance to fit a fad. Skinny’s in, skinny is still in but you’re allowed to have a few curves. Fuck it, it’s cool to look sick. Here’s an Eighties trend, here’s Y2k.’”

You paused, taking a deep breath. “And then suddenly you’ve spent your whole day spiraling from an existential crisis about the lack of control you have. Feeling fucked up because we were not designed to go this fast. And then suddenly you’re wondering if you’ll ever be able to just frolic in a field like we were built to. If we have a future at all.” 

With a final sigh, you shook your head. “Sorry, I get a little intense sometimes when I smoke. But, yeah, I think I’m gonna try to block out the noise before the whole internet explodes and there’s nothing left but scraps and archives.”

Eddie nodded, understanding your thoughts completely. He’d never been one to care about social media or the internet in general. Hell, he hadn’t gotten a smartphone until he got his first real paycheck here. The most he did was read the newspaper, no shit, and get help from his friends whenever he was in rotation to do promo for the band on their socials. His brain was usually filled to the brim with racing thoughts anyways, never needing the outside world coming in.

Well, until he walked into a bar and met you.

“What do you do then?” he asked.

Shrugging, you said, “I like to get high and cook while listening to music. Read books and listen to music. Journal. Go to some local shows to find new bands. Drink coffee at local places and listen to music. A lot of it has to do with listening to music.” Eddie couldn’t help but smile. “It’s the only thing that really seems to make sense anymore. Spotify tells me I listen to music more than, like, ninety percent of people, but I think they’re lying to make me feel cool.”

Eddie laughed. “Don’t go all conspiratorial on me this early in the smoke session.”

As you wiggled your fingers in his face, your voice went low. “Listen to my words, Eddie Boy! These are no longer theories, but facts! Tinfoil hats are sexy! Oooooh, spooky! Creeeeepy!”

Eddie rolled his eyes, shooing your hands away. “Okay, okay. Enough with whatever any of that was.”

Laughter died out before you asked the one question he’d hoped you’d never ask.

“I was really surprised when you said you didn’t know how to cook. Has your mom really never taught you how?”

Despite wanting to look away from your curious eyes, Eddie held your stare. “Uh, no. My mom died when I was a kid.”

Eyes widening, you sat up. “Oh, Eddie. Shit. I’m sorry for assuming—”

“No, no,” he interrupted. “It’s all good. You didn’t know.” 

“Okay.”

The two of you were quiet again before Eddie asked, “Do you wanna know about it?”

You nodded silently.

Eddie embarked on what he called his backstory, like he was a fictional character in a novel. Maybe it was the only way he would make it through his shitty past, a tale of a boy with a dream for a good future but always coming up short.

You didn’t say anything the entire time, only watching him, eyes trained on his hands whenever he gestured. But as he spoke, he realized that his descriptions of everyone just weren’t right. 

He led you to a box that he swore he’d keep closed forever, already hidden on the top shelf of his closet. The two of you sat on the carpet by his mattress, music faint in the background. 

He began showing you a picture or two of his mom before he couldn’t help but keep going through the photographs. There was Wayne. The Hellfire Club. Dustin, Mike, Lucas, Max, and Erica. Ronnie, before she left for college. Bev, scowling at the camera from The Hideout. The band after their last show there. The solitary picture he had of his father from when he was barely a year old. 

All of these pieces of himself that he kept close to his heart, kept close to his soul if those existed. The life he swore to keep hidden now that he was gone, with only Steve and Robin connecting him to his past. Gareth, Grant, and Jeff once they were able to graduate and move. Even then, it felt like they were a part of something new, not old. 

Hawkins made him feel isolated, hollow. It was a constant reminder of everything he lost, from his mother to his father to watching Wayne slowly killing himself from working so hard all the fucking time. With his last name preceding him in reputation, there was no way to get through a singular day without a hiss or an insult. Even when people cared about him.

When he got out, he didn’t realize that there was a possibility he could meet people who were willing to give him a chance.

And he was noticing how engaged you were, studying all the photos intently, taking your time to scan them for seemingly every detail. You were focused on one in particular, of his mom in a blue sundress and Eddie resting on her hip. She was smiling, the kind of smile that comes once in a lifetime. The kind of smile that gave him an ache in his bones from missing so fucking much.

“My mom’s from Memphis, actually,” he whispered.

Your eyes lit up as you met his gaze. “We could’ve grown up so close to one another. Could you imagine?”

Eddie could. Transporting Ronnie and Granny Ecker to Tennessee. The three of you running around causing trouble. His mom calling them in for dinner, watching you fall asleep before your parents picked you up. Blasting metal around the suburbs, carpooling to school. Climbing trees and making it a shared hiding spot when things got tough.

Making sure he never lost contact with Ronnie. 

“Yeah,” he said with a small smile. “I really can.”

“Why didn’t you say anything before?” you asked, looking at him. 

“I don’t know,” he said with a shrug. “I didn’t want you to judge me or something.”

“We all come from somewhere. Just because I grew up in a suburb doesn’t mean I’d judge you for living in a trailer. It’s not like you chose that or like that’s a bad thing. You didn’t choose to have your mom pass away and you didn’t choose to have your dad fuck up and get arrested. Those are the cards you were dealt, sure, but you came here. You got out with people who love and care about you. That’s no small feat.”

“Yeah, you’re right,” he said, feeling heat flood his cheeks at your nice words. “I just haven’t ever seen it that way, I guess. Just a metalhead finding his way through the throws of life.”

“You’re more than just a metalhead, you know,” you said. His eyebrows furrowed. “That’s not the most interesting thing about you.”

“What is?”

“Well, I, uh…” You hesitated and Eddie began to wonder why you were tongue-tied all of a sudden. “I mean, you’re talented and you clearly enjoy quality time with people. You care and that’s a big deal. Not a lot of people care the way you do, even if you’re a little shy about it.” You opened and closed your mouth a few times like you were fighting something before adding, “There’s more but I’m pretty high. Ask me again tomorrow.”

Eddie smiled, trying not to let your words affect him the way they were starting to. “Will do, captain.”

It was infectious, being around you. You never failed to surprise him, to twist him into something more than he already was. No matter what, you were always changing the way he saw the world. His world. And Eddie knew that if he wasn’t careful, there would be a day when he would fall desperately in love with you.

Before either of you knew it, you were another joint deep, going in and out of full on talking and watching TV. He tried to show you Alien but then you kept pausing the movie to engage in a discussion that led into conversations that led into sheer nonsense. Laughter and banter and eventually a little bit of beer.

When Eddie finally checked his phone, the realization that it was midnight washed over him. “Oh, uh, hey, when do you need to leave?” he asked, looking up. “I don’t wanna keep you here if you need to go. It’s late.”

Your expression turned sheepish as you played with the fabric of his blanket. You didn’t even bother to check your phone. “To be honest, I don’t know if I’m sober enough to drive. I didn’t really think about it.”

“You could just sleep here if you’d like?” Eddie offered without thought before realizing exactly what he was suggesting. You, here. In his apartment. Alone. For the whole night.

“On the floor?” you asked with a laugh.

“I could take the floor,” he suggested. “You can have my bed.” “Why don’t we both take the bed?” you asked, finally making eye contact with him. He noticed your eyes widen, something washing over you. 

But there was no time to wonder as Eddie froze at the realization at what exactly you were suggesting. You, here. In his apartment. In his bed. Together. For the night.

“You’re, uh, cool with that?” he asked, starting to fiddle with the damp label on his second beer. It was starting to shed from his picking, the adhesive sticking to his fingernails.

“Um, yeah. I am.” Your nonchalance seemed to fall as you shrugged. “But if you don’t feel comfortable with that, like, I totally understand—”

“Let’s do it,” Eddie said.

After your final attempt to finish the movie, you two were beat. Three in the morning, the world outside clouded in slumber while Eddie fumbled through the dark. Did he forget to mention that he didn’t even have a lamp yet?

When you were finally settled in bed, with you wearing a spare set of his pajamas, there was a silence between you. Eddie was unable to discern whether it was awkward or natural, his thoughts kicking into overdrive. This was a close one, maybe a little too close. Here you were, in his bed. In his apartment. In a sick turn of events, he didn’t have to stop being around you and he didn’t want to. You didn’t drain his energy. Not even once. It was goddamn twisted.

Eddie felt a shift in weight in the bed and before he knew it, your foot had come to rest on top of his calf. His heart hammered in his chest, wondering what this was. And he was…nervous? Why was he nervous? You were just friends. This was fine, right? Just some normal human contact between friends.

But you started…running your foot up and down his leg?

And then you wiggled your toes.

“Helllooooo, Edward,” you said with a high-pitched voice, verging on absolute creep territory. 

He immediately flinched from your touch, scooting away from you to the edge of the bed. You howled with laughter, getting closer.

“Fuck off with that!” he nearly shouted. “That’s so fucking weird.”

“I’m cooooming for you, Edward,” you said in the voice again. “My preeeecious!”

You tried to start tickling him but Eddie fought back, pushing you away from him. Howls of laughter poured out of you, clutching your chest with pure glee. You were an absolute menace of a person. 

“You’re such a weirdo!” he exclaimed, laughing his ass off.

“At least I own up to it.”

He finally turned over, watching you with your head tilted on the pillow, your hands wrapped up underneath. Mirroring your position, he let out one last chuckle before his smile softened.

“That’s your name now,” he concluded. “Weirdo.”

You nodded. “It has a nice ring to it.”

Eddie couldn’t believe that people like you existed, silly and real and beautiful and fun. Sometimes it seemed like he was the only goofy person in the room, always starting bits or talking in weird voices. Usually it was just him being up for a laugh with only some reciprocation. You, on the other hand, were just like him. It was unique in its own way, but you still fed off of his energy as much as he fed off of yours. 

You two just looked in each other’s eyes illuminated by the light cascading down from the blinds. His eyes couldn’t help but flicker back and forth, trying to read you. Because you had this doe-eyed expression, with an extra sparkle of light starting to shine in your eyes. And your smile was tied up with a slight bite to your lip, like you were holding something back, like there was a sentence forming on your tongue. 

It was new, this side of you.

“Why’re you looking at me like that?” he asked, nearly desperate to know what you were thinking.

Some of your smile dropped…but not all the way.

There was a glaze over your eyes, the playfulness gone. It was something more serious than what was normal for you. He couldn't discern what this was and he knew it was going to kill him. “What? Nothing. I’m not looking at you like anything.”

“Yeah, okay, sure,” he teased.

And then there were moments like these, where the silence felt comfortable and the stillness in the air didn’t feel suffocating, he was beginning to realize that he still wanted you there. Actually, if anything, it made spending time with you even better. He didn’t have to always be on all the time. He could just be himself, be human. With someone else. 

He hadn’t even felt the need to smoke a cigarette tonight.

You two stayed like that until you lost whatever game you were playing and you closed your eyes for the night. Lightly snored, with your face squished against the pillow. It made him smile to see you at such a raw level and still the most beautiful girl he’d ever seen and— 

Eddie’s eyes widened as realization overcame him.

He grabbed his phone and pulled up his texts with Robin.

ik it’s 4am but she stayed over

rob i think

well i think i know

Robin’s three dots popped up.

Spit it out, Eddie! 

Eddie sighed quietly, glancing over at you one more time.

i’m falling in love with her

extra special thanks to @jo-harrington for always being so so supportive and encouraging of this series :')

[cwritesforfun]

The Bear: Carmen 'Carmy' Berzatto x Fem!Reader: Crush

You work at the Bear as the hostess when Sugar needs help and you're close with Carmy, Sydney, and Marcus. You like everyone else, but you're just closest with those three. Richard keeps trying to force you and Carmy to be alone together, so he annoys you right now. (YES, the plot has changed.)

Y/N = Your Name

Your POV

You open your phone bright and early to see a text from Carmy: Call me if you get this before 5:30 or before you leave. You click the call button next to his number and wait for him to answer.

****Start of conversation Y/N - Hey Chef... what's up? Carmy - Richard said you live near me. Could you drive me to work? Y/N - Yeah, uh can you send me your address? I just finished breakfast and I just need to get my shoes on. Carmy - Yeah, okay I sent it. Y/N - You're only a 5 minute drive from me. I'll be there soon. I'll text you when I leave. Carmy - Thanks Y/N... Thanks, Chef. End of conversation****

You wait in your car for Carmy and see him exit his building. He climbs into your car and you let him buckle his seatbelt before driving off.

As you drive, Carmy says, "So... uh my car... it uh broke down yesterday. Richard doesn't have his license and he didn't want to risk driving me to work. I think he just didn't want to drive me because he drives me around all the time. He told me you lived closer to me than he did. So I called you. Thanks for ... thanks for driving me." You exclaim, "It's totally okay. I don't mind. I like getting to work early and you live very close, so this works out for us both. Do you need a ride back to your place after work too?" He answers, "Yeah if you don't mind." You reply, "No, I don't. I can drive you until you get your car fixed. It's cool. Do you want a homemade protein bar?" He answers, "Sure... I guess." You reply, "You can say no, I don't care. It's the only way I can survive working these shifts. It has peanut butter, maple syrup, protein powder, oats, and that's it. They're delicious and they fuel you until the next meal." He replies, "I'll try one, then. If you care about it this much and you made them, they have to be good." You keep driving and you hear Carmy say, "Fuck, these are good. I could eat a whole tray." You reply, "Thanks."

We park, you hand out the rest of the protein bars to the rest of the staff, and you help set up and clean the dining area once more. You then help Marcus with desserts. You used to always say that dessert was your favorite meal, but now it's tied with dinner. Pasta and garlic bread together could kill you, but you'd be okay with it because you'd die happy. Making desserts brings you so much joy because there's something so amazing about the process of picking the right amount of ingredients to decorating them before customers eat them.

Your shift starts and it's packed. It's Saturday and there are tons of people hustling in. You even fill the bar with walk-ins. Richard runs the dining room with ease and you can tell he's at home here. At a quiet moment, he slides behind the hostess stand next to you and asks, "So, how was the ride this morning?" You answer, "Carmy and I talked. He liked the protein bars I made. It was good. He thinks you had an ulterior motive for not driving him." He smirks and replies, "I did. I want one of you to cut that sexual tension and confess your feelings." You laugh and say, "He's my boss and I like this job." He replies, "We both know you're just passing time here because you love the people. You make way more at your weekday job. You could easily quit working here and date him." You reply, "I could. I don't know. I am not quitting." You hear, "What's this about quitting?" You see Carmy standing there looking between the both of you. Richard says, "I was just telling dear sweet Y/N that she could quit working here. She makes more during the week. She doesn't need to overwork herself." Carmy turns to you and asks, "Are you overworking yourself?" You answer, "No I'm not. Thanks for your concern." Carmy says, "Yeah no problem. It's time for your 15-minute break and I was wondering if you wanted to take it with me. Richard can handle it out here." You answer, "Sure, yeah. Richard can handle it." Richard says, "I hate you when you two gang up on me. Just date already and make me happy." Carmy and I both shove Richard who says, "That was scarily in sync."

Outside, you eat a donut that was messed up by Marcus and Carmy smokes by your side. Carmy exclaims, "I know you don't have to come in on weekends and you shouldn't feel obligated because Sugar asked you to. I don't want you to overwork yourself and not have time for yourself because it's important to care for yourself. I don't want you to not be okay. I just... I care about you." You reply, "I care about you too and don't want you to overwork yourself either. You work as much as me, Carmy. I don't feel obligated to work because of Sugar or anyone else. I like working at the Bear because I love the people here. I have Sunday off every week and usually I get to work from home at least 2 days a week, so the work week feels less stressful. I will let you know if I ever need a break." He nods and says, "Good good. I want you to be able to come to me if you ever need anything." You reply, "Same to you. I'm here if you ever need anything too. Speaking of, I'm making dinner for Marcus, Sydney, and I tonight after work? Do you want to come over too?" He asks, "Are you sure? I wouldn't want to mess up your plans together." You answer, "It's all good. We just eat, drink, and either play games or watch tv. It's really chill and nice." He replies, "Ok, as long as you let me help cook." I reply, "Sounds good. I could always use the help."

When you told Sydney and Marcus that Carmy was joining for dinner, they were so happy. They also want you to tell Carmy that you like him. Why does everyone want you to? chill...

Carmy gets in your car after work and says, "Sorry that you had to wait. I had to make sure things were all set for tomorrow morning." You reply, "It's okay. Do you need anything from your apartment before we go to my place? I can stop." He answers, "Yeah I do, thank you."

You drive to his apartment and wait for him in the car. He tells you that he is going to take a 5-minute shower and then he'll be down.

You drive to your apartment when Carmy gets back and park in your spot in the garage. Carmy asks, "Do you have to walk in this garage every night?" You answer, "Yeah, why?" He answers, "I just want you to be careful." You reply, "Awww you're very caring today. It's sweet." He replies, "I don't think anyone's ever said I was sweet unless it was as a joke." You reply, "Carmen Berzatto, you're genuinely one of the kindest people I know. You go out of your way and show people you care about them despite all you've been through. You always make me feel cared for and understood. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise." He replies, "Thank you." You reach over, squeeze his hand, and say, "I meant every word." He squeezes your hand back and smiles.

After getting to your apartment, you give Carmy a quick tour of the place. You have a 2-bedroom apartment with your best friend from college who is visiting her boyfriend out of town for the week. It's small, but it's yours and it's great.

You put music on your speaker then head to the kitchen. Carmy asks, "What can I do to help?" You answer, "I'm making chicken, fried rice, and stir-fry vegetables. It's essentially just chicken fried rice. I made dessert last night too that I can break out later. Do you want to help chop vegetables?" Carmy answers, "Yes Chef. It sounds like it will be a good meal, have you made it before?" You hand him vegetables and say, "Yeah it's one of my favorite things to make for people. Marcus requests it at least once a month and Sydney requested the dessert." He takes the vegetables as you set out knives on a chopping board for him to start cutting stuff. You have just enough time to start the rice when you hear the doorbell ring.

Sydney and Marcus walk in. Sydney says, "I present you with tonight's wine and beer of choice. We got dry Riseling wine and Pilsner beer to pair with our dinner. Then, we brought vodka for the dessert cocktail." You cheer and say, "I'm so excited. This'll be great." You go back to prepping the meal to see that Carmy is working fast. You should've known he'd be quick. He's a chef for a living. Sydney asks, "Y/N, do you want a glass of wine or a beer as you cook?" You answer, "Beer please." Sydney asks, "What about you, Carmy?" Carmy answers, "Yeah, I'll take a beer, sure."

Sydney and Marcus stand by talking to you and Carmy as you cook. The cooking time flies by and it's time to eat. You put the dessert in the center of the table for after dinner. You made red velvet brownies.

At the dinner table after everyone is served, Marcus exclaims, "And today, we thank the world for bringing Y/N to the Bear. Without her, I wouldn't have a dessert buddy or this chicken fried rice." You laugh and Sydney says, "I can't wait for dessert. I'm gonna need the rest to-go. Don't eat too much boys." Carmy asks, "Why aren't you a chef? This is fucking delicious." Sydney says, "Woah there Carmy. Save some compliments for the rest of us, buddy." You laugh and say, "Thank you all for the kind words. I have some already packed to-go for you, Sydney." Sydney replies, "And this is why I love you!"

Soon enough, the beer and wine are finished. And the cocktails begin... they work tomorrow, which is wild how much they're consuming. We're sitting on the couch now. Carmy is next to you and his arm has been wrapped around your shoulder for most of the night. You don't mind at all, but will he regret it? I guess it's not a kiss.

After you all watch a movie, Marcus announces to everyone he needs sleep. Carmy seems confused when Marcus pulls out a blow-up mattress and starts to inflate it. Oh, guess you forgot to tell him that they usually spend the night. You should never drink and drive, so Marcus brings an air mattress. Sydney sleeps on the couch. You make breakfast for them or have something prepped to take on-the-go for them in the morning depending on how much you drink.

You exclaim, "Carmy, uh... could you help me carry the stuff on the table into the kitchen?" Carmy nods and he helps you bring stuff to the kitchen before he asks, "Why are Marcus and Sydney getting ready for bed here?" You answer, "Right, yeah I forgot to tell you that. They spend the night if they drink a lot or if one of them isn't the designated driver. I even make them breakfast in the mornings too. I just want them to be taken care of and safe. You're welcome to stay the night too...or I can call you a cab. The only place is in my bed if you're okay sharing." He asks, "Only if it's okay with you? I don't think I would make it back to my place honestly." You answer, "It's all good. There are extra toothbrushes and stuff in the bathroom closet that you can use." He replies, "Yeah I'll go get ready for bed then. Will you be coming to bed soon?" You reply, "Yes, I just want to make sure both of them are all good before I go to sleep." He nods and walks off.

You go to make sure that Marcus and Sydney are taken care of. Sydney pulls you to her and says, "OMG! So are you and Carmy like dating or something?" You ask, "Why would you think that?" She answers, "Dude, he had his arm around you, he was positive, and he complimented you. If you're not having sex to make him happy, I'm seriously questioning his mental state." You reply, "I feel like that's rude to say. He is allowed to be happy." Marcus replies, "And you are too, you know? With or without him, we support you." You reply, "That's so sweet, Marcus. Thank you both. Now, what do you guys want for breakfast? I have stuff for burritos, pancakes, or overnight oatmeal." Sydney says, "We want burritos. I can guarantee you that is what Marcus wants." Marcus laughs and nods. You talk with them a bit more before you lay out some stuff for breakfast then head to your room. You need to shower so badly...you stink so much from work.

Carmy is staring at your bed when you walk in. You laugh and say, "The bed won't bite, Carmy. You can take either side. I sleep on the side where that book is if you don't want to take my side. I'm going to shower, but I'll be back soon. Feel free to read any of the books or look at anything. I trust you and I don't care." He nods and you go to the bathroom. You then throw on your matching set of pajamas. You leave the bathroom to see Carmy looking at your book and photo collection. You ask, "See anything you like?" Carmy answers, "Yeah actually I'm really impressed with your photos. Did you take all of them? And have you read all of these books?" You laugh, stand next to him, and answer, "I have read the top two shelves. That cart is books I need to read still. The photos are all mine, except the ones I'm in. Those were mostly taken by family members. I can always take more of the Bear if you guys ever need any promotional content." He replies, "Thanks, I might just take you up on it. Your bed is comfy by the way. I uh... I didn't know how comfortable you were with me sleeping there so I waited for you." You sit on your bed and pat the space next to you. He walks over and gently sits next to you. You say, "See, that's not so bad. And, I don't care that we're going to share this bed. I feel safe around you and I trust you. It's all good." He asks, "Why do you always compliment me? I mean, everyone at work hates me during work hours because of how much I scream and the standards I hold people to. But you... you just see the light in me." He looks so broken. It's truly sad he doesn't see what you see. You put your hand on his shoulder gently and say, "Because of what I see in you, Carmy. I see someone so kind and safe and trusting and hard-working. Yes you can scream, but we all can and that's the way of the kitchen. You do apologize when you're in the wrong and that's what counts. The standards you set are the reason that the Bear has such delicious food and has a steady influx of customers. You wanted this place to be successful and you had a dream. People just need to see what you see and once they know the standard, it's golden. So yes, I will compliment you when I want to." He puts his hand on the one on his shoulder and says, "You're so perfect... listen, I heard you all talking in the living room. If everyone thinks we're already dating, why don't we give it a try?" You answer, "Sure, when we're both free next, we can go on a date." He asks, "What would you say if I took off tomorrow and we just spent it together?" You ask, "You are going to take off tomorrow. I don't believe that for one second." He smirks and replies, "Richard and Sydney can handle it. I have a date I need to go on." You smile and say, “If you take off, I will gladly go on a date with you tomorrow. And if you don’t take off work tomorrow, I’m free after 5 every night this week and I’m off on Sundays every week.” He replies, “I’ll call Richard right now. Here we go. I’ll even put him on speaker phone so he behaves.”

You laugh.

**** Start of conversation Richard - Is something wrong, Carmy? You never call me this late. Carmy - Everything is fine. Look, I’m with Y/N right now. Richard - Define with. Are you dating her now? Why are you at her house late? Did you get laid? Give me more. Y/N - Chill, Richard. Richard - Oh hi … wow Carmy wasn’t lying that you were there. Carmy - I’m at her place, moron. Now listen, I’m taking off work tomorrow all day so I can go on a date with Y/N and spend the day with her. Richard - Holy shit you’re not coming to work! Y/N really has changed you. This is blowing my mind right now. I should’ve bought a lotto ticket tonight. Damn it. Carmy - Cousin, shut up. Tell me, can you handle tomorrow? Richard - Yes I can. The staff and I can. I know how everything runs and I will call you after closing to tell you how it goes to make you happy. Although you will probably be getting laid, so you’ll already be happy. Y/N - Please shut up. Carmy - Yeah Cousin, there is a lady present. Bye and thank you. Richard - Use protection kids. End of conversation ****

After hanging up the phone, you ask, “How does it feel? You’re going to get to sleep in and you’re going on a date tomorrow.” Carmy answers, “Honestly, I’m excited. This might be the best day of this year for me.” You laugh and lean your head on his shoulder. He cuddles close to you and says, “I wasn’t really nervous about sharing a bed with you … I was nervous about telling you my feelings and then you rejecting me or just wanting to be friends. I've been overthinking how I should tell you my feelings and when. Richard has also been pushing me about it and I knew deep down that he was right.” I laugh and say, "Don't let him hear you say that. I do have to get up to make breakfast for Sydney and Marcus in the morning, but I will go back to bed after." He says, "Wait one second, I'll be right back." He slides out from under me and walks out my room. OK?? What??

Carmy returns looking confused and weirded out. I ask, "Where did you go? You have a weird face right now." He gets in bed, opens his arms for me, and says, "They were just drunk and were happy that I asked you out. I forget how honest people are when they are drunk. It was weird. I just went to ask them if it was okay that you didn't make them breakfast because I wanted you to have sleep and to sleep in with me. I hope that's okay. I just heard you talk with Richard about how you don't want to overwork yourself and I want you to have rest for the week." I kiss him on the cheek and say, "You're so sweet. I'm not mad. I'm very glad you were looking out for me."

PART TWO

[bomberqueen17]

stressy

so today we got up, and i drank some coffee and made some plans for the day, because huzzah, no work today due to driving bans still in effect also the parking lot at work has not and cannot be plowed. 

First order of business was to shovel out the driveway though, so I ate half a granola bar and girded myself in snow gear and out we went. We own a small snowblower, which has a mouth that can take up to about twelve inches of snow. Given that the total for our area was around 49″, that wasn’t gonna work. But what we could do, was use the snow shovels and a garden spade to shovel out a patch, and then chop the snow drifts into that patch and run the snowblower over that patch again and again, to take the snow and fling it up over the very high snowbanks.

So we did that, Dude and I, for an hour and some change. And at the end of it, we had busted the huge drift that was blocking us off from the street.

So we came inside and had toast for breakfast, and congratulated ourselves. and then I set to work on cleaning the house. Farmsister and her family are staying here on the night of the 1st, and the guest bedroom is full of my clothes and the living room is full of all the debris I never unpacked from various trips back and forth and back and forth to the cabin.

First thing I did was fasten some adhesive hooks to the wall where my coat rack fell down last year; I’ve been keeping my coats in a pile on the floor ever since because if I put them into the closet I lose them forever. That was a great start, but then I... think the stress of the last couple of days weeks months really caught up, and i spent the next several hours wandering fretfully in circles. I did get a lot of tidying done but in tiny intervals, cycling among tasks in little microbursts of activity that, while productive, were not in any way organized.

I did make a hearty lunch-- we have no milk in the house, so when I made box mac n cheese I had to use sour cream-- and we had a few lil smokies sausages left, so what I did was that I browned an onion for a very long time in butter, then threw the lil smokies in, chopped, and then deglazed the pan with some pasta water, and stirred in the sour cream to that and then added the cheese powder and then the cooked macaroni and voila, gourmet, bone apple teeth. We needed something substantial after all that shoveling.

Dude caught on that I was stressed, and asked what he could clean. i asked him to clean off the bathroom counter. He spent two hours on this, which is fantastic-- removed every item, considered it, and threw it out if it wasn’t still good, and put it back if it was still good. Now that counter is presentable. The floor is not, but he did the tub last week, so it’s almost like grown people live in this house.

I found my long-lost kindle, which had slipped into a drawer in the sewing desk in the living room. i also de-silted the sewing desk, so I could set up my new electric spinning wheel there. Am very excited about that. Also excited because my mother gave me an enormous bag of beautifully prepared wool from Battenkill Fibers, a gorgeous silky longwool of some kind, pin-drafted, just off-white, suitable for dyeing.

I wanted to write. I’m so so so close to an update for Awakening. And I’m not like. *far* off from an update for Golden Towers. I want to finish both by the end of the year, know I won’t manage it, but at least I might finish the first one. I have so many ideas; I put a bunch of little things into the Wanksmas round, and some will wind up being in the main continuity and some will not. I wrote neither smut nor really to any of the prompts, but I did manage drabbles, and really it’s just nice to be involved in something.

(One thing I wrote, I left on anon by adding it to the anonymous collection. Wonder if anyone will guess which one it was!)

Anyway, we hiked over to Dude’s mom’s house again, where she had prepared christmas dinner for just us. A twelve-pound ham, split three ways! but there was nothing to be done, no room for the whole thing in the freezer. We couldn’t get Dude’s aunt there, due to the driving bans; she’s not quite spry enough anymore to walk that last tenth of a mile in the deep snow, and her oven isn’t working well enough to have her host it (Dude’s mom could probably make the walk and we could’ve picked her up, but it wasn’t worth the logistical hassle and, to be fair, it is rather a difficult walk.)

oh i forgot to finish this entry. Well, I’ll post it this morning. We had a lovely dinner of Too Much Ham and some very decadent potatoes and of course the variant on greenbean casserole that his family eats. And we helped her clear some snow from shrubberies in her front yard, and had intended to help clear her driveway but her neighbors had already done so. No plows have been by so there’s not much point doing more.

I’m terribly sore now from shoveling and moving boxes to clean the house. I’m glad I did as much as I did heavy lifting-wise yesterday. Now it’s morning and I’ve awoken before 5 to discover that yeah I’ve mildly fucked up my back, so that’s awesome. But I have had many healing cat snuggles and also like a handful of ibuprofen so I have some hopes of the situation resolving itself.

I can confirm that about four more inches of snow fell overnight but it looks to be fluffy so we’ll be fine.

[spn-static]

Bonding

------------------------------ Ao3 Link ------------------------------ this one is a bit longer then my previous one and i am posting it early :P

there is jack and Sam in this one, also little kissy smooching :D -----------------------------

“Dean, I don't understand.” Cas stood in front of the stove in the bunker's kitchen facing Dean with tomato sauce all over his trench coat. 

“It’s alright Cas, cooking is hard.” Dean gave a little chuckle while patting down Cas’s trench coat to clean the sauce. “Next time ask for help if you can’t open something Cas.”

Cas looked at the glass in a pile in the corner with apologetic eyes. He made messes all the time but he liked to be good at stuff, not keep making messes. Sometimes he wondered if Dean liked him a bit less because of his messes. “Do we start the pasta yet?”

“Not quite yet.” Dean said, licking a bit of the sauce off his finger. Dean rinsed off the cloth in the sink and thought about what vegetables to add to the sauce. Dean also decided it was a good idea to get Cas a cooking apron, because more messes were prone to happen. “Bottom drawer beside the fridge, there's some aprons, can you grab one?”

Cas got the apron on the top and held it out and Dean walked over to him and gripped onto the left lapel of his trench coat. Their eyes met and Dean had a smirk as he took off the dirty trench coat. “This has to go in the wash. Do you need me to take off your blazer as well?” Cas looked down at himself without the trench coat. He always felt a bit off without it, like it was something he needed to have comfort and safety. 

“I can take that off.” He would’ve let Dean take off his blazer as well but they were cooking, he didn’t want to get distracted because he actually wanted to learn how to cook so he could feed Jack something other than peanut butter and grape jelly sandwiches for every meal. 

“Alright,  put your apron on and then we cut up the veggies. But there's a certain order we have to do this in.” Dean placed Cas’s trench coat and blazer on the table to be put in the wash later and went over to the fridge grabbing whatever vegetables he knew Jack would eat. “Always get the food that Jack will eat cause he’s in his picky era.” Dean teased.

Dean got a carrot and started cutting it up into quarters, showing Cas. Knowing full well Cas didn’t need a hand in cutting vegetables Dean got behind Cas and put the knife in his hand. Dean held onto his hands, helping him cut the carrots, then the zucchini and other vegetables while breathing down the warm air onto Cas’s neck. They started the pasta and started talking about random things, hunting with John, school, growing up with Gabriel and his other brothers and the guilt of not being able to please fathers.

“I guess we both have a case of the daddy issues Cas.” Dean said looking up to Cas’s green eyes. Cas just looked at him confusingly and he looked to the ground. Dean took this as an opportunity and grazed Cas’s Jaw, jerking his head up to look at each other in their own clear classy eyes. 

“I don't understand that Dean.” Dean sighed and rested his head on Cas’s chest under his chin and patted his shoulder.

“It’s alright Cas.” Dean raised his head and kissed Cas’s cheek and then his lips. Dean wrapped both his hands behind Cas’s head taking in every breath and movement before they got interrupted by whispers watching by the doorway.

“Do you want a sister or a brother Jack?” Sam said thoroughly enjoying the moment. Dean left Cas’s lips and started getting the plates ready.

“Oo! I think I want a brother.” Jack smiled so his gap showed and Cas came over lifting him up and putting him in his chair at the table with a placemat with cars.

Together as a family they bonded over dinner, talking about some hunts they could go on, Jack’s day at school and how other hunters were doing, and including how much Jack missed grandpa Bobby.

[ohjustkreat]

Closing the Distance

A Shuri x Riri Fanfic

Summary: The war in her homeland of Wakanda has ended, but the war Shuri fights inside is still on going. Can a new friend help her heal?

Table of Contents

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Chapter 4

Shuri woke up to her head on Riri’s lap, the other woman still fast asleep. Carefully she lifted her head as not to wake her. She sat on the edge of the couch and took a moment to fully wake up. She stretched her arms and gave a long, deep yawn. Even after her nap, she was still tired. It was her guess the exhaustion was beginning to catch up. Although it had only been a day, she was thankful not to be haunted in her sleep. Reaching into the pocket of her sweatpants, she pulled out her phone to check the time: 2:44. Hm, they had been asleep way longer than Shuri expected. She made a mental note to wake Riri soon. Yes she thought Riri was brillant, but she still didn’t need to miss class. Unlocking the screen, she saw a picture of her brother and mom. She ran her fingers across the screen. As if the picture would disappear at any moment, unexpectedly like they had. Trying not to get caught in the moment, Shuri sent a quick message to Ayo just to check in and ensure the pair that she was safe. Deciding she should probably wake the other woman now, she gave Riri a nudge. After that failed, she proceeded to shake her. “Hmmm, y’all really have a thing for waking people up out of there sleep, huh?” Riri groggily let out, her eyes still closed. Rubbing them, Riri finally opened her eyes to meet Shuri’s brown ones. Riri thought she already looked better than when she got here yesterday. She could tell there was a lot on Shuri’s mind, but she didn’t want to pride. She knew how stubborn Shuri could be and would wait until she wanted to talk. “Hmmm, what time is it?”

“Hmm, I just checked, it should be about 2:50 now.” Shuri answered

“Shit. Shit. Shit. I’m gonna be late!” Riri said as she jumped up, her eyes wide.

“My class is in ten minutes”. She continued.

“Oof, If I would have known I would have set an alarm. Sorry…” Shuri offered.

“No it’s fine. I have one set it just didn’t go off.” Riri shouted. At this point she was frantically running around the small dorm gathering her miscellaneous items. In the midst of the chaos she threw on a hoodie

Before she ran out the door, Riri suddenly remembered the other woman would be there alone. “Hey, you know where’s the food at. You can eat and watch whatever. Just don’t eat all my snacks and go through my shit!” Riri said as she turned to go out the door.

“See you in a couple hours . Later.” She continued closing the door.

“See ya later.” Shuri said, watching the other woman leave.

Shuri wasn’t sure what to do to bide her time. Not wanting to focus on work, Shuri decided she would make dinner for the two. She grabbed her phone and turned on some music. Soon, the sound of John Coltrane’s sax started to fill the room with Duke Ellington accompanying him. Shuri sauntered around the room, grabbing different items she would combine. Riri’s pantry and cabinets were scarce for food but that didn’t discourage Shuri. She had decided on something simple, pasta. Recently, she had been eating dinner alone and mostly in her lab. Well, when she did eat. Most days she worked through her hunger. Shuri could admit she was excited to have dinner with her friend. She more than enjoyed her company. To Shuri, Riri was brillant, but she also had a calm and funny side.She could tell that Riri had many layers.She always found herself intrigued by the depth of her friend. And for that Shuri was thankful, because it bought her an unprecedented amount of comfort. Finding someone outside of her kingdom that understood her mind was something Shuri never expected.

The scent of butter, garlic, and dried herbs started to enter her nose, snapping Shuri out of her thoughts. She turned the stove down, so she didnt ruin the meal she was carefully preparing. Stepping away from the stove, she grabbed the heavy cream and parmesan. Pouring them into the butter mix, she begain stirring slowly until everything was evenly combined. She turned the stove down on low and turned on another large pot of water. After the water began boiling, she added the noodles. After a few minutes the pasta was done. She checked her phone for the time and saw that it was 4:58. She knew Riri would be home soon. Shuri plated their pasta and set the table. Just as she was grabbing something to drink, Riri came through the door.

“Shuri?” She called out. She heard music coming out of the small kitchen. Heading that way, Riri was met with the aroma of food. At that instant her stomach began growling. She hadn’t realized how hungry she was. Class worked up an appetite apparently. Before here, she saw Shuri swaying to the song playing while setting the table.

“Hey there you are.” Riri stated as she walked in the kitchen.

“You do know you didn’t have to cook? We could have went out and grabbed something.” She continued.

“Well yea, but I figured you’d be tired from class. But you’re welcome.” Shuri said jokingly.

“Hahah, no complaints here but thank you. This really was sweet of you.” Riri continued taking her place at the table.

Shuri sat down opposite of her.

“So, I was thinking we could go over the plans a little tonight. And then-“ Riri paused, hesitant to ask what was really on her mind.

“Maybe, we could go out— to a party?”Riri finished.

Shuri stopped eating. Suddenly her mouth felt drier than the desserts of Wakanda. She didn’t know why. Of course she wanted to go, she would never turn down a good party. But she also had never been around that many people her age who weren’t her subjects.

“Uh, Earth to Shuri. A no would have been fine.” Riri said annoyling, while trying to get the other woman’s attention.

“What, oh, uh, of course I would love to go. It’s just I’ve never been to a - uhm- college party” Shuri said, staring down at her lap slightly embarrassed.

“AHHAHSHAHAHAHH! You’re kidding-,” Riri stopped herself after she caught how embarrassed the Shuri looked.

“Hey, I was just kidding. Besides I’d be honored to be your first college party date.” Riri continued while putting her hands over her heart. This was her attempt to lighten the mood.

Shuri looked up, flipped the other woman off and went back to eating.

“So what time is this soirée?” Shuri asked.

Riri gave a light laugh. “Okay, so we’re gonna jump over the fact you just called it a soirée. And the party-“ Riri said, making sure to emphasize the last word, “starts around 10. So, that gives us a couple of hours to work then get ready. “ Riri finished.

Shuri took a sip of her water. She looked over at Riri basically shoveling the food down her throat. “The food’s not going anywhere , ya know.” Shuri said.

“Haha, but if I knew you were this good of a cook I would have stayed in Wakanda.” Riri replied as she scraped the last of the pasta off her plate.

“So how was class?” Shuri offered hoping to change the subject of her homeland.

“Eh, it was alright. If attendance wasn’t 50% of the grade, I wouldn’t even be there.” Riri replied.

After they both finished their meal, Riri got up and cleared the table. Since Shuri had cooked, Riri would clean up.

Riri quickly washed the few dishes and wiped down the kitchen surfaces. Shuri sent a quick text to Ayo and Aneka checking in with pair. She noted she would have to ask Riri to take her to the hotel to get some clothes for the party. It was times like these she was thankful she over packed. Shuri then got out the blueprints from her bag. She rolled them out on the table, looking over them, making sure every detail was correct. While it was still early in the development process, Shuri was intentional and precise with every step of the project. Riri came and joined her a short time after. They went over the plans with Riri adding her critiques about the mechanism. After they were convinced the plans had been perfected they cleaned up their work ready. Now, it was time to party.

“Hey, do you think you could take me to the hotel. I need to grab some clothes.” Shuri asked before she forgot again.

“Yea, of course. Now you can finally see how your project car drives.” Riri replied.

Riri grabbed her keys and the pair headed out the door to the parking garage.

The walk there was short and familiar. Their feet shuffled through leaves since autumn was making her way in. The sun had already started to set due to the days getting shorter. Finally arriving at the steps of the parking garage, Riri took the lead and Shuri followed closely behind. After reaching the top, Riri made her way to the farthest corner of the area.

‘Of course she would park this far out.’ Shuri thought as she made her way to the vehicle. She could see Riri had taken well care of it. The setting sun illuminated the car, giving it a golden aura. It wasn’t shining, it radiated. ‘Just like her.’ Shuri thought.

“After you.” Riri said with a half goofy smile as she held the door open for Shuri.

“Ah, chivalry isn’t dead.” Shuri joked back.

“Nah, I just don’t need you slamming my shit.” Riri said with a laugh.

Riri made her way around to the driver’s side, but before she could open the door Shuri had opened it from the inside.

“Ha, now we’re even” Shuri said as she stuck her tongue out.

“Cute. Now where to?” Riri said as she started the car and the vehicle roared to life. Shuri responded by putting the address into the navigation system she added to the car when she remodeled it. They put on their seatbelts and Riri began to drive towards their destination. Riri was glad the streets were almost empty. The night crowd wasn’t out yet, leaving the streets bare and inviting. It was intimate almost. Music hummed lowly through the speakers. Riri wasn’t sure what song was playing, but she could tell Shuri knew it. Glancing over she saw Shuri humming and looking out the window. For the first time, Riri really saw Shuri. In this moment she could tell the zoned out woman was totally vulnerable. Riri was grateful for Shuri’s ability to be vulnerable with her. Even if it went unspoken. From her quick look, Riri could see all the pain and other hidden emotions Shuri tried to hide. As if everything unsaid was on the brink of pouring out.

“Your destination is on the right.” The navigation said jolting both women from their thoughts. Riri pulled into the parking lot and parked the car. Shuri wasn’t sure why but the air between them felt heavier. She put that thought in the back of her mind and got out of the car.

Ayo had sent the hotel and room information to Shuri earlier when she checked in. Of course Shuri had a room to herself. Shuri headed to the elevator and Riri followed. They were on the top floor suite according to the email Ayo had sent. They finally made their way out of the elevator and walked until they came to a door at the end of the hallway. Shuri pulled out her phone since she had already activated the wireless key card and did not need a physical one. Quickly holding her phone up to the reader, the red light flashed from red to green and the door unlocked with a light click. As Shuri opened the door she was met with an open living room. Hardwood floors covered the entire suite as far as she could see. A large couch sat along the far wall and was accompanied by two matching chairs on either side. Riri soon followed behind her and was almost taken aback by how large the suit was. It was bigger than her dorm. She wasn’t expecting this from the way it looked from outside the elevator. Riri looked over from her spot in the entry and found Shuri already in the main room. She could see the woman unpacking the rest of her luggage. Riri assumed Ayo and Aneka had taken the liberty of bringing the luggage up when they first arrived. Riri sat down on the couch, trying to think of what she would be wearing. In the room, Shuri was trying to figure out the perfect thing to wear. Usually it wasn’t this hard to choose, but she had the unusual urge to look just right. She decided on a mid-rise crop too and black jogger type pants. She completed her look with a gold chain and matching bracelets. She put in diamond stud earrings, sprayed on her favorite scent of sandalwood and put on some black sneakers. Giving herself one last look over, Shuri headed into the living room. She saw Riri scrolling on her phone.

“Ahem, you ready to go?” Shuri said clearing her throat to let the other girl know she had entered the room.

Riri looked up at stuttered “uh-uhm, yea.” ‘Damn she looks good’ Riri thought to herself.

Shuri gave her a look “You feeling okay?”

“Yea just tired I guess.” Riri answered as she got up. She didn’t know what came over her. The moment she saw Shuri something lit up inside her. She was finding that the simple things the other woman did always left her with an unexpected feeling. Riri pulled herself out of her thoughts and followed Shuri out the door.

They eventually made their way back to the parked car. The ride back to campus was brief with Riri strealing glances at Shuri when she wasn’t looking. Something about her captivated Riri. They got back to the dorm and Riri excused herself to go get dressed. Riri, inspired by Shuri’s look, decided on a shoulderless black croptop and black high wasited faux leather leggings. Instead of her usual sneakers she opted for a pair of black strapped heels. She put in some gold hoop earrings and a gold necklace with a ‘R’ pendant. Once she was satisfied she sprayed on her favorite perfume and grabbed her black hand bag. She stepped into the living room. She saw Riri watching some show on the T.V.

Shuri, feeling as if she was being watched, looked up from the couch and almost choked on her own breath. Riri looked amazing. Hoping she didn’t catch her staring, Shuri broke the silence.

“You ready to go?” Shuri asked, trying to keep from staring at the student in front of her.

“Yea. I hope I didn’t take too long.”

“No, not at all. Let’s go.”

And with that the pair was out the door.

Both women were excited for the night ahead of them.

*******************************************

Notes: Hi guys! Again I’m incredibly thankful for all the feedback! I’ll be updating tomorrow/Tuesday. If you want to read the story in one part and just not have to search for post I have uploaded the story to wattpad! Thanks, agains and as always I hope you enjoy!

Table of Contents

[nyxstyxsstuff]

This weekend I decided to clean up my kitchen. While doing so I found a bunch of ingredients that were about to go bad and decided to cook/experiment with them.

First I made these things as a snack. I think they have a name from some country I've never been too, but I wouldn't know. I just had some potatoes that were about to go soft and some cheese that was about to expire and the vague knowledge I had seen someone make potatoes into a dough online at some point. I boiled the potatoes, seasoned them lightly, added some flour and corn starch to make it into a dough, and filled it with mozzarella. Then I just fried it and put some green onions on top because they were starting to wilt and needed to be eaten too. Idk what the exact measurements for any of the ingredients were. I just used three potatoes and everything else was guess work. Cooking is an experience.

This one was a simple fried chicken recipe. I made a batter out of cake flour and an egg (about one or two tablespoons of flour to one egg). I dredged the chicken in the batter before coating it in panko bread crumbs. I forgot to add salt and pepper to the batter but throwing some on top before it cooled worked just fine. It was super juicy, delicious, and simple to make!

Lastly was a dessert. I found a loaf of bread that had gone stale and I still had some eggs that needed to be used so bread pudding was the obvious choice. My dad used to make this for me when I was a teenager so I knew the basics. Cubed bread in a buttered baking dish, a simple custard poured overtop, and bake at 350°F until the top is golden brown. I used an online recipe since sadly my dad's recipe was lost, but the smells alone brought back nostalgia. I'll link the recipe below in case anyone wants to make it. Don't let the ingredient list fool you though. While brioche or other sweet breads are ideal, any bread will do. Mine was sourdough.

With that my kitchen is mostly clear of nearly expired food. There are some tomatoes that I'll probably make into pasta for tomorrow's dinner, but I have to tackle the canned goods before that's decided. Sometimes the easiest way to tackle food waste is to just see what throwing two things together will make.

[saturdaymournings]

I just wanted to get your opinion on smth!! I'm actually trying to do some vegan recipes when I can and tonight I made spaghetti for dinner. I just wanted to know if you think it's vegan friendly I guess? And what you'd do differently or how you'd improve on it?

Did some plain pasta (trying a new shape) and a homemade sauce. The sauce was tomatoes, homemade Italian seasoning (minced garlic, garlic powder, basil, thyme, onion powder, parsley), and some corn starch (for thickness). I think the only thing I didn't make super close to vegan was the garlic bread because I used butter mixed with garlic and parsley.

Opinions?

(here's a picture)

hiii :) I’m so happy that you’ve sent this to me it makes me so happy ajsjdhdjdjd !!!! The way I would put it is that the pasta is vegan but the bread is not, but if that’s something you want to change I can definitely recommend good alternatives because I think the easiest vegan alternatives are definitely non-cheese dairy. I think though that as long as you’re happy with the taste of the pasta that’s amazing, and I’m so glad you’re trying out vegan food! I took a picture of my dinner tonight to match with you, despite the hot weather we had a roast dinner because it’s the easiest way for us to get a load of vegetables in as a neurodiverse family with a vegan lol.

I have vegan Richmond sausages, roast potatoes and sweet potatoes, carrots, stuffing, cauliflower and mashed turnip. The gravy is surprisingly easy we either use a specific vegan beef stock cube or just a vegetable one with some bisto :) I normally have broccoli instead of cauliflower but all the ones in the supermarket were shrink wrapped and it made me hate them

[fanby-fckry]

Content Warning: Vent, food insecurity

I need to either convince Roommate #5 to drive me to return bottles or bite the bullet and start walking bags down to the store, myself. We’re going to need groceries, eventually, and have $7 in our bank account, yayyy.

I think there are enough bottles that, if I could get #5 to drive me, or manage several trips, myself, there’d be enough for groceries for the rest of the month, if we’re careful. CT upped our bottle return reward to 10¢ a bottle, and I can carry 4 bags, which’ll net me roughly $20 per trip. When #5 drives, we can get a good $100 out of it.

I’d been trying to eat healthier, actual fruits and/or vegetables, some things for my cholesterol my cardiologist recommended, but paycheck was short this month, so we’ve been a tightening our belts, and in fact, ran out, completely anyway.

We had to borrow money from my in-laws, money they expect back, as is their right, I guess, but honestly, if my son needed money for groceries, I think I would maybe make that a gift rather than a loan. Ulgh, this is why I don’t like asking them for things. I try to avoid it as much as possible, and I feel indebted when they so much as buy me a Christmas gift.

But whatever. If the paycheck comes in normal next month, then we can pay them back without too much issue.

We were just trying to feed 2 people on $300, and made the stupid mistake of impulsive takeout because the both of us were in pain and tired and neither felt up to cooking. Probably would’ve been better in the long run to have sleep for dinner and spend that money on groceries, but what’s done is done.

I’m kinda mooching food off the other roommates at this point. Mostly bread, peanut butter, and actual butter. But I don’t feel too bad about it because a.) survival trumps guilt 99% of the time for me, and b.) they mooch off of me when they don’t feel like driving to the grocery store, so it’s fine.

Still got some pasta and rice that’ll last a while, but probably not until next paycheck. Some frozen fruit I got last month, which I’ve been telling myself I will use wisely. Oatmeal, but idk how much. Fiancé has cup noodles, but I really cannot stand the texture of those, and I think I’ll wind up only being able to manage a few bites at a time if it comes down to that. So, not ideal.

I wish we’d bought canned beans. I could go for some beans. Maybe I will if I return bottles. The only grocery store in walking distance is expensive as fuck, but like, how much can they mark up canned fucking beans? Eh, probably a lot. I should wait until we have money to get groceries delivered from the cheaper place.

I have. Straight up stopped working out on an effort to conserve calories, but that’s not ideal. Especially for the whole ‘walk to return bottles’ thing. Walking that far is going to be a workout, and not doing my PT exercises in the meantime will increases the risk that it’ll hurt like a bitch and put me out of commission for a few days afterwards. But driving with #5 is going to be an exercise in restraint, lol. The worst place to be with him is in a car.

So uh, yeah. All around not having a great time right now.

[strangeauthor]

There's no measurements bc. Oops. Anyway my friends pasta casserole resippy:

Ingredience:

1 decently sized or 2 small white onions

Roughly 1.5 - 2 lbs ground beef

Diced tomatoes and tomato puree (if you can find it, tomato sauce is a decent substitute) - amount is hard but usually I get 2 small cans of each for 4 total cans

Tomato paste (primarily for flavor, add as necessary)

Pasta, your choice of shape - I reccomend tube or elbow macaroni, shells work but they often stick together. It has to be decently sturdy, and you can use roughly 1 - 2 lbs and that should be good

Mozzarella cheese

Bechamel sauce is probably optional but my friend says it's good - it's flour and milk

Spices/Seasoning - turmeric and coriander for the sauce, and nutmeg for the bechamel but that's optional, salt + pepper to taste

Cooking the damn thing -

Cut the onion to ur preferred size, doesn't have to be great.

Into a LARGE PAN (NEEDS TO HOLD ALL THE TOMATOES AND MEAT) wih some butter. Lightly cook it until it's brown on medium heat i guess?

When the onion is translucent/brown/soft, add in the meat. Just cook that until it's all done and not red.

Add in the tomatoes now, all the diced and puree, and you can add tomato paste for flavor and to thicken it. Stir to combine.

Season to your liking (turmeric, salt, pepper, coriander) and taste test frequently (LET IT COOL I BURNT MY TONGUE) stir well. (I reccomend a lot of tumeric and salt but that's my tastes)

When it's well seasoned, put it on low heat and cover the pan to let it rest.

I'd recommend making the pasta now so it doesn't stick together after draining it. You can salt the water but there's so much salt in everything you don't Need To. Cook to your liking and esp with shells try to make sure you stir it post draining bc it will stick if u leave it

Grate up some mozzerlla cheese (as much as you want I like a lot). You can do this anytime

Bechamel (optional and a lil finicky) - toast flour so it doesn't taste weird (? I think that's why) and add milk. Add the milk slowly bc it's easy to mess up the ratio and toasting more flour is annoying. I'll ask my friend Abt recommended amounts of everything but anyway you mix those until you have a goopy, fairly think but not watery sauce. You can add cheese and nutmeg if you want.

Casserole time - this is kinda extra bc the pasta and sauce are just good on their own but this is a fun dinner

Combine the pasta with the tomato sauce - I recommend a deep pot for the pasta so theres plenty of room for the sauce. Ladel the sauce into the pot and mix well (it's heavy so make sure to get to the bottom of the pasta so it's all even)

In a large casserole dish, layer pasta, bechamel, and cheese. I usually fit two layers of each but ymmv with the dish you use or yr pasta shape(?)

Then put it in the oven for roughly 30/45 min at roughly 350 - this toasts the cheese and gives it a nice crust. You can pull it out whenever seems right.

It goes really well with a nice citrus soda to drink. Also if you wanna add more veggies I think it taste really good with spinach

After this you will most likely have leftover pasta that you couldn't fit in the casserole dish and left over casserole bc it's so much food - it reheats SUPER well, just toss in the microwave for 30 sec, stir, repeat until you get it as hot as u want (and I reccomend adding more mozzerella as u reheat)

I love making this pasta recipe and I love sharing it. Sorry I can't give better measurements we genuinely make it off of vibes primarily. I can take a rough pic of the size of the pots/pans we use if that helps. Anyway lemme know if there's any additional questions bc I'm doing this from memory so I may have missed one or two things

thank you!!!!

[spooniechef]

The Dinner Diaries Day 8 - The Mother of Invention (Butter Noodles, 1 spoon)

Today was a "necessity is the mother of invention" cookery day.

The earlier part of the day was too hot to do much, but I did put some emergency calories in me in the form of a small bag of potato chips and a strawberry-raspberry smoothie. But it did cool down enough that I felt able to make my tuna broccoli lemon pasta.

Except when I had sliced the onion and put the broccoli into the pot, I checked the cupboards and realised I was out of tuna. Guess I failed to put that on the list during this month's grocery shop.

So, since I couldn't exactly unslice my onion or unboil my pasta, I was going to have to improvise. So I checked the fridge to see what else I could put in pasta. I remembered that a friend of mine used to do effectively buttered noodles topped with sliced kielbasa, and while I didn't have kielbasa, I did have bacon. So I figured I could do something with that. It's not a bad recipe, as it happens, and there's some scope for refining it to make it more interesting. As it was, though, I just needed food, and this was Hoover Stew-ish enough to be workable.

Here's what you'll need:

About half a bag of pasta

Some broccoli florets (or whatever frozen veg happens to be handy)

About 6 slices of thick-cut bacon, roughly chopped

1 red onion, roughly chopped

About 6 mushrooms, thickly sliced

1 large-ish pat butter

4-6 cloves garlic or 2 tbsp garlic puree

Seasoning to taste

As you can probably tell, between bacon grease and butter, this is a bit rich. But given how much of all of this gets soaked up by vegetable and pasta, it's generally okay.

Here's what you do:

Boil the pasta; add vegetables to the pot when pasta is nearly al dente; remove from heat when pasta is nearly done

Melt butter in deep frying pan; add bacon, mushrooms, onions, and garlic; sautee on medium-high heat until bacon is browning and onions are clear.

Drain pasta / vegetable mix; add to frying pan with seasonings of choice

Heat entire thing for 4-5 minutes, stirring regularly

It's really simple. It's not very exciting. But it's what I had available, and it tasted good, and that's about all I can ask of an improvised pasta dish invented at the last minute.

[kasey-writes-stuff]

I hate that I wasn’t able to eat what I made for dinner enough to properly fill me because mentally I couldn’t get over it being something new that I’ve never had even though it really didn’t taste that bad it made me feel and so I decided to eat something else all things I know I like just now and now I’m feeling sick

Like I had a banana, half a peanut butter sandwhich and half a donut and yea sweets make me sick unless they’re suckers but this is a different sick I can tell it’s just from eating but I was hungry :(

The new thing was sweet potatoes it was gnocchi made from sweet potatoes and I’ve never had either sweet potatoes or gnocchi but gnocchi is just a type of pasta right? So I don’t imagine I’d have a lot a lot of problem with it at least I’d hope not

Idk either way this is just frustrating like I listened to a friend and tried combining it with chicken and carrots and I’m grateful for the suggestion and that I tried it but I feel bad that so much is going to waste

I guess I can feel a little better knowing my dad didn’t like it either but still idk it’s like I’ve been saying how we’ve been struggling with food and then we get some extra stuff from my mom from a pantry and like I can’t eat the lunchable things cause of the dairy and then this sweet potato gnocchi makes me and I feel bad for finally getting some stuff but then just not being able to eat it

[makinglightweight]

18/35

59.4kgs wake up. Feeling nice and sore and tired. Coffee and water.

My mom bought me tapioca pudding for lunch, knowing that I’m on a diet, thinking it would make me happy to have something fresh and fruity (“you can cut some mangoes into it”) . Go and explain how much I’ve been suffering from this cut and how the last thing I want is to intentionally kick the bucket by ingesting a food with 100g of carbs per 100g, before counting coconut milk and fruit. It would be impossible to just portion control since it’s not homemade and tends to spoil super quickly (hence I can’t go around opening and sifting through it and expecting it to stay edible till lunch). It really saddens me to have to abstain from things that do make me happy, but I don’t think I could deal with the consequences. This is some classic disordered eating except that I have an excuse, which I guess is somehow worse. Also, I would hate to have to justify eating dessert for lunch at work. All the snacks I turned down would seem a lot more rude.

Anyways, I made myself a nice salad with leftover Tre Cereali and forgot to put some onion in it. Yay me. I’ll be flying for training camp in two days and of course the list of last minute things and people is innumerable and insufferable. I am honestly really not looking forward. It’s so damn difficult to eat properly at camp when you’re cooking for yourself with other people, you’re always fucking tired and yet the pressure is on for racing. I’ll have to try and do as much meal prep as I can, so I’ll maybe buy some Tupperware boxes and make like curry, grilled chicken, okra stew, stuff like that. Last camp all I ate was pasta, bresaola and fucking arugula salad. It was a miracle to get my hands on fresh vegetables.

This morning’s erg piece was 3x3k at race pace. I died again on the third piece but did a better job at keeping the rate. Did 30’ cool down on the watt bike. Had a protein yoghurt, a coffee and a 250ml bottle of sparkling water afterwards. Touched down at the office and drank two cups of water.

For lunch I had a makeshift salad with 80g of Tre Cereali, a cucumber, 6 cherry tomatoes, 6 black olives, 4 tablespoons of corn, 1 chili pepper and two radishes. It was surprisingly filling, had another cup of water with it while chatting with my lab mates.

Spent my afternoon working with randomized cravings for chocolate cake, goat cheese, and yet again, toasted olive bread with butter and pastrami.

Came home around 6pm. Snacked on 6 cherry tomatoes and went in for my second session, 60’ indoor bike. Back hurt a bit throughout. Craved quinoa and tofu; it’s safe to say I’m fucking starving.

59.5kgs post training.

For dinner I had 330gr of baked white fish, and two cups of a green veggie mix: broccoli, green fava beans, zucchini, onion, leek and green beans. Veggies were too spicy so I toned it down with a slice of spelt bread.

Later in the evening I went to have coffee with my dad. Espresso, cup of water, small slice of basbousa (about 200 kcal). I’ll have another cup of water and magnesium before bed.