#and then i go and write 15k words 😭😭

[lizardkingeliot]

I just keep adding words to this post-finale fic and it just keeps going. I thought it would be, like… maybe 8k max? It’s currently over 12k and with what I still have to write… if I can manage to come in under 15k it’s going to be a miracle lmaooo. Everyone cross your fingers for me I have the afternoon mostly free so I’m going to try and get it as close to finished as I can… 😭

[peachhcs]

The 5 times Neteyam loved you and the 1 time he said it.

Neteyam x fem!reader

Word count: 15.6k 😳

Summary: pretty self explanatory I think, but the 5 times Neteyam loved you and the 1 time he finally said it 😌

Warnings: near character death, talk of absent parents, gun & knife violence, blood

ITS FINALLY HERE!! THE LONG AWAITED 15k+ fic I took like a week to write 😭 This is cliche but I haven’t seen anyone else do this prompt before. I listened to the people and put this into one large fic, so I hope y’all like it!! The ending is..a little rocky, but it’s what you get after forcing myself to finish this. There is a prologue in this & I wasn’t originally going to include it, but I liked it too much to delete it from the story LOL

If you guys want a Lo’ak version, I have one in the drafts, but idk if that is something y’all want. My requests for fic ideas are open, so send some in if y’all want! Thanks for all the love!! (ps, not quite proof read so if there’s some spelling or grammatical errors my apologies)

MASTERLIST

PROLOGUE.

It was no doubt that you were an extreme pleaser. Growing up as the eldest sibling to your parent’s five, it was your job to stay in line. Set the example. Follow the rules. Be the golden child. It was the whole reason why you and Neteyam bonded so quickly when you met.

He knew how it felt to be the perfect one. You both carried the same burden, the same pressure, the same expectations set by your parents. All you wanted was to please them and get the praise you desperately craved.

You saw Neteyam for a few weeks now. It started one day in the woods when you were out exploring. Foana and Ni`awtu insisted going out into the forest. You knew being the eldest that you couldn’t possibly leave them to their own devices, so you reluctantly followed after them.

That same afternoon, the Sully kids decided embarking on their own expedition. The clan was so large and spread out in nearly every part of the forest that you hardly knew every single person. You knew of the Sully children and their great father Jake, the Olo’eyktan and Toruk Makto, however you did not know them.

Everything changed for you and your siblings that afternoon when Foana wandered off. You had no idea that a certain Sully boy would change the entire trajectory of your life that day.

You were distracted with admiring the beautiful flora that you didn’t even realize your younger sister disappeared. A tiny tug on your tail made you spin around, hissing at Ni`awtu standing shyly behind you.

“Ni, what do you want?” You answered annoyed that she interrupted your gazing. Seeing her little worried features made you scrap any annoyance you ever possessed in the first place.

“It is Foana. I do not know where she went.” The fear laced through the young girl’s voice. Your eyes shot up, now realizing that the youngest sibling was no longer around the two of you.

To make matters even worse, you only brought your knife with you expecting a quick and short trip.

“Ni`awtu, you were supposed to be watching her at all times. Argh.” You pushed past her, beginning to sniff out any possible trails Foana may wandered off on.

“I am sorry, sister. I swear, I thought she was right behind me.” The familiar wobble of Ni’s voice and her trembling hands told you she was close to tears. Sighing, you collected her into your arms.

“Do not worry, it is not your fault. We will find her.” Being the eldest meant you could not be mad at your little siblings for long. You also could not let them take the blame for things—even if it was their fault at times. That was just what came with growing up as the eldest. You took nearly all the blame.

The two of you walked the tree lines, scanning every possible inch for that little rascal. She hardly knew the forest like you, so she couldn’t have been too far. If anything, she was probably cowering underneath a leaf or behind a tree because she did not know where she was anymore.

Your ears perked up when you heard voices ahead. In a quick maneuver, you shoved your sister behind you incase it was a threat. Not many from your clan ventured this far out into the forest by the old shack. It was forbidden by the Olo’eyktan—so whoever was ahead couldn’t possibly be Na’vi.

There was a tiny laugh, though. It caught you off guard and your defenses fell for just a moment. There came another laugh, louder and one you recognized this time.

“Foana.” You muttered and ran ahead through the brush.

When you came through clearing, you grew surprised seeing your little sister playing around with another younger Na’vi girl.

“Y/N, look! I made a friend!” Little Foana sensed your presence and motioned towards the other little girl. She smiled up at you with a toothy grin.

“Foana, what in Eywa are you doing all the way out here? You do not wander away from me or your sister.” Your mom voice came out, loud and booming. The little one looked down in shame realizing she was in trouble.

“I am sorry, sister. I did not mean to. I just..I saw a flying lizard and had to follow it. I found her on the way.” She stuck out a thumb at other girl. Another sigh escaped your lips knowing she must’ve also strayed off her path and probably had people looking for her as well.

“Tuk! There you are! Why did you wander off?” A new voice entered the scene. She raced past you, scooping up the girl in her arms.

“Sorry, Kiri. I found a friend, though.” Tuk pointed at your sister who gave a similar toothy grin and a wave.

“It is okay, sister. Just make sure you tell someone next time, okay? Neteyam, I found her, it is okay.” You didn’t realized there was entire group behind you now. Two boys, no three boys, stood behind you. Two Na’vi and the singular human boy you knew lived around here.

“Tuk, I told you to keep up with us.” The shorter Na’vi boy went past you to ruffle up her little braids.

You hadn’t moved a single muscle since their sudden arrival. You were too awestruck in the way they comforted the girl. Neither of them showed any signs of anger or annoyance that she wandered off. It was so unfamiliar to you—all of that sincerity and comfort to one another.

“Oh, please excuse us. I am so sorry. I am Kiri. This is Tuk, Lo’ak, Neteyam, and Spider behind you.” The girl that came in first finally acknowledged your presence with a warm smile as she introduced what must’ve been her siblings.

“Oh, no need for apologies. I am Y/N. This is Ni`awtu and Foana.” You did a bow of greeting which your sisters quickly followed after.

“It seems as though our sisters have befriended one another. We were so worried when we realized she had wandered off.” Kiri laughed and pinched Tuk’s little nose. You smiled at the affection.

“Yes, us too. I was glad I found them both unharmed.” You pulled your sisters closer, trying to show a tiny bit of affection like the other siblings displayed.

“Let’s just be glad we didn’t need to call dad in. He would have beaten our asses if we told him we lost Tuk.” Lo’ak laughed and then his older brother smacked him on the head. The unfamiliar terms and use of some English words intrigued you. Not many Na’vi knew English besides the Olo’eyktan—obviously being from the sky.

You began putting two and two together. The five fingers of Lo’ak and Kiri. Lo’ak’s use of English phrases you didn’t quite understand. These were the Sully children. The Olo’eyktan’s kids.

“Oh my Eywa, I am sorry. You are children of the Olo’eyktan. It is a pleasure to meet you.” You rushed out, flushed you had not picked up on it beforehand. You bowed again, urging your sisters to do the same.

“Woah, we’ve never been greeted like that before.” Lo’ak snickered and the older boy hit his head again.

“Lo’ak, stop it. Do not apologize. We are Omatikaya as much as you are. It is really our father who gets bowed to.” The older one spoke to you in a kind tone that had your face heating up in a way it had never done before.

“Well, it is still a great pleasure to meet all of you.” He grinned at you. There was something igniting inside of you just looking at his smile. Something you had never felt before.

“Can Foana and I have a playdate sometime?” Tuk spoke to you, her little voice adorable as ever. However, you were unfamiliar with the term she used.

“Playdate means like a hang out.” Kiri must’ve seen your confusion. You quickly nodded.

“Of course, anytime as long as neither of you wander off again.” You joked some, smiling down at your little sister. She grinned excitedly.

“Perfect, you may bring her over anytime or we can bring Tuk over. She has been so excited to start making new friends ever since our parents allowed her to go out more.” Kiri was so soft spoken and so gentle. Her presence alone just made you feel so warm and welcomed.

“You could bring your other siblings, too. You have two others, right?” Lo’ak spoke up more. You quickly nodded, a bit surprised he even knew that. It wasn’t like your family was well known like they were.

“Tsanten and Naria.” You did not miss the way Lo’ak’s face blushed at the mention of Naria.

“Well, bring them all and even yourself, we love the company.” Kiri beamed and you couldn’t help but smile yourself.

You hardly received invitations out often. You were always busy taking care of your siblings, cleaning up, staying in, following your parents’ orders. It didn’t leave much room for fun and going out.

Neteyam was still glancing in your direction. He just couldn’t seem to pull his eyes away from your pretty hair flowing loosely down your back, or the way your eyes lit up when Kiri extended the invitation to you and the rest of your siblings.

He knew of your family through passing here and there. You were the eldest, just like him, yet he never saw you out much. Either you were hidden away in your tent, or out hunting. He knew you were a hunter because Beyral spoke of your name often.

You intrigued him. He liked the way the confusion floated over your face when Lo’ak or Tuk used phrases you didn’t understand. He liked the protective nature you held over every single one of your siblings—similar to him. How you held them close to you. He wanted to know more about you. He wanted to make you smile again because it sent an unfamiliar feeling of butterflies in his stomach that he enjoyed.

He wanted more of you. If only the two of you knew what your future held.

ONE.

Neteyam was protective over everything in his life—his parents, his siblings, and now you. Being the eldest, especially to the Olo’eyktan, it was his job becoming the protector when his father wasn’t there.

He fought off anyone who poked fun at Lo’ak or Kiri for having five fingers. He made sure someone was with Tuk at all times when she went out to the forest. He helped his mother anytime she asked whether it was with food or his siblings.

There was no denying how similar the two of you were. It was what drew him to you. You held the same protective nature as him. You took care of your siblings the same way he did. You understood the burdens he carried because you held them high on your shoulders as well.

It was when the two of you were together that he could let go of everything, even if it was just for a little bit. When the day was done and everyone was sound asleep for the night, tucked safely into their tents was when the two of you snuck out to spend time together.

It was more of a private relationship for the time being. Being the next Olo’eyktan in line, Neteyam knew that if he told people he was seeing someone it would spread like wildfire across the village. People would start talking and they probably wouldn’t ever leave you alone once the word was out. He wasn’t sure if you wanted that on top of everything else and if he was being honest, he wanted you to himself just a little while longer.

His feet worked quickly jumping from tree branch to tree branch. The luminescent forest was his guiding light through the night and he took one final swing to his destination. When he got his footing, there you were right where you met almost every night.

Your back was slumped against the tree and you hadn’t noticed him yet, instead, your gaze was focused on the glimmering stars above. Every time, Neteyam was so in awe of you. He knew how stressed you were throughout the day having to do this and that, so seeing you here waiting for him in the most relaxed state gave him a sense of pride.

“Oh, hi.” You finally noticed his looming presence. The boy grinned, walking towards you.

“Hi, sorry I am late. I had to make sure Tuk was truly asleep for the night.” The sound of your laugh made his heart swell in his chest. He snuggled himself in beside you with his head resting on your stomach.

When you put your hands across his back, all of his muscles finally relaxed. The stress slowly dissipated and everything felt right being in your arms. During the day, he was a leader who held no fear. At night when he was with you like this, none of that mattered. He didn’t have to put on the facade for you.

“She never falls asleep on time. I think she is afraid she will miss out on something. Foana is the same way.” He hummed when he felt your other hand begin brushing through his braids.

“That explains why she is always following Lo’ak and Kiri around.” Your stomach rumbled with laughter again and the vibrations were so calming to Neteyam. If he could, he would have your laugh on repeat.

“Your training, how did that go today?” Another thing Neteyam adored about you was how you never failed to ask him about his day. Any detail he told you, you remembered and talked about it the next night. He had never been listened to like that before. It made everything inside of him feel warm and appreciated like he had a purpose.

“It was okay. I think dad is getting mad at me because I can not seem to understand things as fast as he wants me to.” Neteyam sat himself up so he could look at you properly. His back fell against the tree in the same way yours did, still keeping your bodies close.

“You will get it, do not worry. It takes time learning all the ways of the Olo’eyktan. Your father probably struggled as much as you did once.” You clutched his bicep to give it a comforting squeeze. Neteyam’s gaze fell away to the sky, though. His mind beginning to turn elsewhere.

“Yes, but he was already strong when he fell into the position. He was an adult already. I am merely a teenager still.” He heard you scoff beside him.

“You are just as strong, Neteyam. Do not tell yourself you are not. You are learning and your father just wants what is best for you.” You always knew what to say to him to make him feel better. His gaze finally fell back to you, your gentle gaze making his face blush.

“I think my parents are catching up to the fact that I may be seeing someone.” You giggled, looking away as you changed subjects. Neteyam, however, stiffened up at your words.

“What do you say?”

“Well, I just laugh it off and say I am not. They do not ask much more after that.” He could not read your expression because you weren’t looking at him. He didn’t know if you were upset you had to deny it or something entirely different.

He certainly wished he didn’t have to be so private about his personal life, but he was afraid his mother wound disapprove—not that there was anything to disapprove of you. It was mostly the others in the clan. People would start talking. They would start seeking you out. You would have to start learning the ways of Tsahik, maybe (Hopefully in his mind). He wanted to make sure you were completely comfortable to be put into such a spotlight like he was before anything was really said about the two of you.

“Neteyam? Are you alright?” Your voice snapped him from his thoughts. You were already looking at him when he met your pretty golden eyes.

“Yes, sorry. I was lost in thought.” He gave you a gentle smile to reassure you.

“About what?” You loved to pick his brain though. His expression twisted and he found the need to place his arm around you and pull you closer towards him. Your head fell absently against his chest.

“It is not important.” He had this thing where he would sometimes hide his emotions from you. He did not want to burden you with this one right now.

“I feel like it is, though. I will not make you tell me, but you can if you want to.” Another feature he absolutely adored about you. You never pried, but made it known that he could tell you anything. He squeezed you a tiny bit closer as if there was anymore space left between you two.

“Are-are you..upset that our relationship is not..for the entire clan to know?” He blurted and then avoided your gaze so he wouldn’t see your expression.

“No, not necessarily. I like the privacy.” You answered honestly, but Neteyam wasn’t sure if he believed it yet or not.

“Are you lying?” You sat up more to look at him. He was gnawing at his lip, worried that you were lying.

If he could give you the world, he would. He wanted to give you everything. He wanted to show you off and take you on dates that weren’t in the dark. He wanted to hold your hand and kiss you in front of people so they knew you were his. However, he could not do any of that in fear that someone would be mean to you or say rude things. The entire clan was kind, but there were few who said things when they did not approve. Neteyam only knew because he heard the things people said about his father when he became Olo’eyktan.

He is demon blood. How would he know how to lead a clan?

Can we really trust him with our people?

What does she see in him?

Those children, they are demon blood. Five fingers.

They are not true Na’vi.

He could only imagine the things they could say when he announced his possible chosen woman. He wanted to keep you out of that. He wanted to protect you from it as much as he could.

“No, I am not lying. Why would I lie?” You gave a small chuckle; however, Neteyam was still not eased.

“Right, sorry. You would not lie about that.” He looked down, embarrassed he even thought you would lie to him. A gentle hand cupped his face and directed his attention back to you.

“What is going on in that head of yours? Tell me, it seems to be bothering you.” You observed his entire face and Neteyam was flushing under your intense stare.

He took your hands in his, squeezing gently and blowing out a long breath.

“I want to give you the world, but I can not. I only do not tell people about our relationship because I am afraid they will say things we do not like. I do not want them to hurt you and say things like they do about my father and mother. That is the only reason I have kept us from them. Not because I am embarrassed or anything of you.” Neteyam spilled his entire heart to you right then and there. He watched your face for a reaction and subconsciously prepared for a negative one.

Instead, you just grinned and stroked his hand with your thumb.

“I did not think you were embarrassed of me. I know you have a lot on your mind all the time. You do not need to explain yourself to me. I do not mind keeping our relationship private.” Your head tilted to the side, still grinning.

“I just want to make sure you are completely ready to have every eye on our relationship when and if we tell people. It is a lot of pressure and people will be talking. I do not want to just push you into that if you are not ready.” Neteyam continued.

“I am ready whenever you are ready. You worry too much about me.” You laughed and Neteyam’s head fell against your chest. You cradled the back of his head with a smile.

“So you are sure you are ready to handle it? You can tell me no.” He looked back up at you, scanning your face for any possible secret resentment you weren’t telling him.

“You forget I have thick skin. I grew up with parents who were perfecting my every move. If I can take them, I think I can handle being your girlfriend in public.”

It was then that Neteyam knew you were it for him. You held no fear in your eyes that he seemed to be harboring deep down in his depths. You were ready to be by his side under any circumstance.

He brought your face into his hands so he could pull you forward for a kiss. It was everything he could not say and everything he wanted you to know. The night was young and so were you two in that moment.

TWO.

Tonight was a big night as Neteyam ran around the hut like some mad person. He was shoving Tuk’s toys away, cleaning every single space, forcing his family to be on their best behavior—especially Lo’ak.

You were joining his family for dinner so they could properly meet you. Despite all of his siblings already knowing you, it was his parents who did not have much knowledge about you. It was mostly just name in passing, but one they never asked much about.

When Neteyam told his parents he was even seeing someone in the first place, their reactions were pretty priceless.

“Hey, mom, dad?” The eldest Sully walked into their hut while his parents worked away at their own separate projects. They turned his way at the sound of his voice.

“Yes, what it is ma son?” Neytiri questioned. The boy was flushed and picking at his fingers, unsure of how to even approach the subject.

It wasn’t that his parents were against him dating around, but he had never shown much interest beforehand, so he wasn’t sure how they were going to react now.

“I..I um-well, you see, I met this girl a few weeks ago. She is very kind, strong, intelligent, a hunter. I-I would like you to meet her one night over a dinner, maybe?” He carefully watched for their reactions.

His mother, wide-eyed, looked over at her husband. They exchanged a few glances, probably speaking with their eyes, but Neteyam had no idea what they were silently saying. He worried it was bad things.

“Oh! Yes, yes, of course. We would love to meet this girl. Who is she? Is she Omatikaya? Does she live around here?” His mother stood, embracing him while asking the hundred questions she had. His father sat back with a tiny, proud smile on his lips.

“Her name is Y/n. She is just a few huts down. She is a great hunter and warrior. Beyral speaks of her sometimes.” Neteyam explained your background as best as he could. Both of his parents were beaming widely.

“Yes, I have heard that name a few times before. She sounds wonderful, I am so excited to meet her. I had no idea you were seeing someone.” Neytiri was the most enthusiastic for her eldest. He had nearly reached all of his requirements that would make him one of the People and it was only a matter of time before he would begin looking for a future mate.

Tuk went on all day about her excitement that you would be joining them tonight. Neytiri worked all day preparing a great meal with the help of Kiri.

“Bro, I can’t believe you never told us about dating around with Y/n.” Lo’ak snickered as he helped with some of the cleaning. He earned a slap on his head for that comment.

“Well, it was not much of your business, was it?” Neteyam retorted and the younger brother only shrugged.

“I knew you were sneaking out late at night. I could just never have proof.” Another snicker and another slap. Lo’ak finally let up on his annoying teasing.

“Tuk!!” A little scream broke the boys from their conversation. Nearly everyone in the hut looked over to see a little Na’vi girl run in. Tuk was smiling widely, bringing her friend in for a hug.

“Foana! What did I say?—“ Suddenly, you appeared, grabbing at your youngest sister. Neteyam noticed your other three siblings just behind you. You met his eyes before darting them over to his parents who were glancing your way. Your entire face flushed.

“I am so sorry. Foana begged me to bring her to say hello to Tuk and then..well, I could not leave everyone else out.” You quickly explained yourself in small embarrassment. Neteyam rushed to greet you.

“Tsanten, Naria, what’s up?” Lo’ak happily got up to greet your other siblings. Ni`awtu stood shyly behind your back.

“I am so sorry for them.” You whispered to Neteyam when he was close enough. He only grinned.

“Do not apologize.” He kissed your cheek and then stepped aside for his mother who approached.

“It is nice to finally meet you, Y/n. I have heard many things.” Neteyam watched the exchange, still a tiny bit nervous for his parents approval of you. You smiled, nerves also evident behind your eyes.

“It is so nice to meet you as well, Mrs. Sully. I have heard so many things about you.” You bowed your head using the I see you gesture.

“Please, call me Neytiri. It is so nice to meet all of your siblings, as well.” She grinned again at the other little kids talking with her own children.

“Oh, thank you. They will not be staying, they just begged me to bring them to say hello.” You rushed out, eyeing each one of them to make sure they were being well-behaved in the home of the Olo’eyktan.

“Oh please, we have so much food. They can stay.” Your eyes shot to Neteyam. He only gave you a small shrug, ultimately it being your decision. He figured it would be easier to get your siblings’ introductions out of the way now too.

“Oh, no, you do not have to do that.” You shook your head, but Neytiri was persistent.

“It is no trouble. I insist.” She gently touched your arm. Neteyam could tell you were not used to such hospitality. He also touched your arm and you glanced his way. He nodded, saying if his mother thought it was okay, then it was okay for them to stay.

If anything, it would hopefully keep Lo’ak out of trouble or saying things he shouldn’t if he had other people to talk to that he liked. That was Neteyam’s biggest concern of the night, really.

“Okay, thank you, really.” You thanked Neytiri by bowing your head once more. She grinned and then walked away.

Jake came next to greet you. Neteyam knew you were worrying about him more than anything. He was Olo’eyktan and Toruk Makto after all and it was the most important to get his approval.

“Hello, Y/n. I am glad to finally meet you.” You bowed to him which he did the same back.

“It is a pleasure to meet you.” Neteyam watched as you urged your siblings to bow before his father as well. They listened to you, doing as told.

You held such power over the little ones, but not in a bad way. Neteyam wondered if they listened to you more than your own parents. You had told him many stories of you becoming the main parent for your siblings growing up. Your parents were very absent. They were always on hunting trips, so it often left you caring for them. The eldest Sully could tell it wore you down—slumped shoulders, tired eyes, callouses on each of your hands, cuts, and bruises.

“Please, please, come in. Make yourselves at home. Our hut is your hut.” Jake ushered all of you in further. You smiled at him, not quite understanding the phrase, but you knew it was a kind one by his tone and expression.

“Y/n! Y/n! Guess what I did this week?” Tuk grabbed at your arm. You smiled down at her and crouched to her eye level.

“What did the mighty Tuk do this week?” Neteyam smiled at the way you ruffled up her hair.

“I caught my very first fish!” The little girl jumped up and down in excitement.

“That is amazing, Tuk! I am so proud of you!” You squeezed her tightly.

“Tell her how big it was.” Neteyam encouraged. His little sister held out her arms wider than herself. Your eyes widened.

“No way. That is bigger than you!” She giggled in excitement.

“I know! Everyone was so excited for me.”

“I certainly hope they were. That is a great accomplishment little Tuk.” You stood and Neteyam beamed at you. He saw your face flush a bit.

“You know she adores you, right?” He reached up to push some of your hair away from your eyes. You were wearing it loose like usual and some of it was pinned back with little petals hooked into it.

You blushed again. Neteyam loved how he could always make you blush like that.

The night went on just the way Neteyam planned. His parents asked you and your siblings many questions which you all happily answered. Just by the smiles and exchanges, Neteyam knew his parents loved you already which relieved him. He was worried something would go wrong. Lo’ak even managed to keep his comments to a minimal and mostly because he didn’t want to look like some fool in front of Naria.

Later, after helping his mom clean up, Neteyam went looking for you. He stopped short when he saw you sitting with Tuk, Foana, and Ni`awtu. You were playing some game with some sticks with them. There was a large smile on your face as you laughed at what Tuk would say. Even your sister, Ni`awtu, was smiling despite how shy she came off as.

Neteyam felt a hand come around his back. His mother appeared next to him, also watching the scene unfold. The sun began to set and eclipse was near. The forest was illuminating around you four. It was the prettiest sight Neteyam had ever seen—you with his little sister playing her games she always made up.

“She is a wonderful woman, Neteyam.” He smiled, glancing his mother’s way for a moment.

“So you like her?”

“We love her. If you do decide one day, she will make a great mate.” A small wave of relief washed through the older boy. He was so glad his parents approved of you.

Now it was just a matter of telling the rest of the clan. He knew most of them would be as supportive as his parents, but there was always the handful that had something to say. Neteyam would do his best to protect you from those who would say things.

Although, for now he would just enjoy the scene in front of him. He wanted to keep the warm feeling bubbling up in his chest for as long as possible. You were utterly perfect in his eyes.

“Neteyam! Come join us!” Tuk had noticed his presence. His mother squeezed his arm before letting him go. You made room for him to join the circle. The two of you exchanged a glance, knowing exactly what the other was saying.

You were definitely a keeper.

THREE.

Neteyam knew you were an excellent fighter. You were the best in the age group every time you went for trainings. He was always so in awe anytime he watched you skillfully use your bow and arrow to hit the targets on the ground from above. Or, your stealth as you dodged in and out of the trees. He knew he could never be as great of a fighter as you were.

However, with that also came the fear he held every time you left to go on missions. This one in particular was an especially dangerous one. His father appointed you to the head and it even shocked Neteyam a bit when he was told to hang back on this one but you were going.

You sat on the ground between his legs as he worked separate little braids into your hair for you. The only time you ever wore braids was for these missions or when you went hunting.

Neteyam did not want you to know he was worrying and playing every single worse case scenario in his head, so he kept quiet as his fingers worked quickly through your hair. However, his leg was bouncing right beside your head and that was hard for you to keep ignoring.

“Neteyam, are you alright?” You placed your hand over his knee. He realized it was bouncing and quickly stopped.

“Yes, I am fine.” You twisted your head around, pausing his braiding for a moment. The look on your face told him you didn’t believe him.

“Liar. What is wrong? Tell me.” You urged and Neteyam knew he couldn’t keep being quiet anymore.

“I am just worried is all. It always happens when you leave for missions like these.” He admitted, forcing a smile so you didn’t see all of his worry. You frowned a bit.

“You know you have nothing to worry about. I am a warrior. I always have been. When have I not come back from one of these?” Your tone was more of a “duh” tone. It didn’t ease Neteyam’s fear though.

“You never know what can happen, though.” He quickly make his defense. Instead of meeting your eyes, he just continued to work away at your hair.

“I suppose I do not, but you trust me, right? You trust your father. He would not send me into something dangerous.” Of course, Neteyam trusted both of you. It was the Sky People he had no trust in. He had seen them fight and the way they always had the upper hand with their crazy machine guns.

“Of course, but I am even not going. Is that not saying something?” He made a face and you were unsure what to say.

Neteyam finished off the last of your braids. The ends jingled together with the beads he added in. They were some of his own and he smiled at the fact that you two were going to match.

He turned you around and dipped his fingers into the bowl of paint beside his leg. You stayed still as he traced it around your face. He thought how jealous Lo’ak would be that you got to wear the war paint he didn’t on missions.

The two of you were silent. The feeling in the air changed ever since you didn’t know how to respond to Neteyam’s last statement.

You stood to look at yourself in the mirror when your face was done. The blue and yellow streaks went down your cheeks and around your eyes.

“Here, do not forget these.” Neteyam stood with your riding visor. He gently reached up to hook it around your ears.

You never flew with a riding visor, but then Neteyam made you one because he was worried about the wind drying out your eyes. You had happily accepted his very thoughtful gift and ever since then, you never rode without it.

“I am a warrior. I will make it back.” He felt comfort in the way you squeezed his arm. Your gaze was on him with a reassuring expression.

“I know you will. I just worry about you.” He cupped your face into his hands, bringing you towards him more.

“I have been doing this my whole life. I have my transmitter, too, so you will be able to listen in.” You placed the collar just above your necklaces and then hooked the earpiece into your ear. Neteyam remembered how thrilled you were when Jake gifted it you.

“We’re off in five minutes, everyone. Be ready!” Jake spoke through your ear. You glanced towards the opening where others headed out to their ikrans.

Neteyam brought your forehead against his. He closed his eyes, breathing you in and savoring every single detail about you just in case.

“Good luck. Be safe.” You smiled at his Earth phrases and brushed your hand along his cheek.

“I will see you soon.” He brought you in for one more kiss. His lips worked a bit rough like it was the last kiss he would give you. He was worrying that much.

You were the one to pull away, knowing you had to be out there very soon. He leaned into your touch when you kissed his cheek and then hurried out of his grasp. Neteyam hurried outside of your hut to watch you take off.

His dad took the lead as he dove off the cliff first. You were quick to follow, disappearing from his view almost immediately. Others in the clan who stayed behind clapped for the war party. Neteyam’s worry was only piling higher in his stomach, already anxiously awaiting your return.

—

Hours felt like days in his mind as he paced around his own hut. Tuk was in the corner playing with her toys and Kiri eyed on her older brother as he paced.

“Brother, you need to stop worrying so much. You know she will make it back. Y/n is very strong.” Kiri tried reassuring the anxious boy in front of her.

“I know, I know. This mission was a dangerous one, though. Dad did not even let Lo’ak and I go, yet he had Y/n go?” The logic still didn’t make much sense in Neteyam’s head. He wasn’t trying to discredit your abilities, but if you were going, he should’ve at least came along too.

“You have to remember that Y/n has been a warrior her whole life. Even when she was a kid. She was out hunting when she could walk. This is in her nature. Your father knows that and he knows she is a very useful asset to this mission.” His mother piped in from the other side of the hut. He didn’t even known she was listening to the conversation.

“Yeah, what mom said. She’s been fighting like this her whole life. She knows how to handle herself.” Kiri added on.

“Yeah, plus, she doesn’t always need you at her side and call.” Lo’ak had piped in now and Neteyam glared at him. Since when did his whole family become involved in this conversation.

“I am just trying to protect her.” He said in defense to what his younger brother said. Lo’ak just shrugged.

“Ma son, I know it is scary to not know what is happening, but we need to trust the Great Mother and everyone on that mission. They know what they are doing.” Neytiri squeezed Neteyam’s arm for comfort. The boy sighed, but nodded.

As if on cue, people started shouting outside of their hut. In the distance, ikran calls filled their ears. Neteyam instantly knew what that meant—the war party was returning. Everyone in the hut ran outside to greet them and check for any major injuries if any.

Jake’s ikran landed roughly atop the rocky cliff. You flew in not a moment later. The crowds were thick around the edge and it was hard to truly see what was going on. Being as tall as he was, Neteyam still could not see that well past the others trying to get a closer look.

He did not know where you were. You must have gotten down from your ikran, because it’s back was empty and there was no sign of you. Neteyam tried to push through some of the crowd, but it wasn’t much use because no one wanted to move.

“I heard it was bad. Many people were injured.”

“I can not believe he let that little girl go on such a dangerous mission.”

“This was one of their toughest missions yet.”

The words floated around his head as he heard people muttering to one another. He tried not to picture the worst for you. You had made it back, he knew that, but were you severely injured? Neteyam’s heart was practically beating a hole in his chest trying to find you.

Finally, he caught sight of some familiar braids and war paint near the edge of the crowd. He recognized Tsanten and Ni`awtu at your side hugging you.

“Y/n!” He finally was able to break out of the group. He hurried to you, joining in on your siblings’ group hug. He felt the way you clutched the back of his head with one hand and the other held onto his arm with a firm grip.

“Are you okay? Are you injured?” Neteyam pulled back to back to examine your face for any injuries.

Despite the minor cuts and scrapes, nothing looked too alarming to his knowledge. You had a pretty large gnash on your back, but it wasn’t bleeding out profusely or anything.

“No, I am not injured. Just scraped up.” You gave him a tiny smile. He was glad he got to see that again as he cupped your face and placed a quick peck onto your lips.

“Come on, I am sure Mo’at has medicine for these cuts.” You let Neteyam lead you away from the crowds and back to the huts. He sat you down on the ground and then disappeared to find his grandmother.

When he returned he had a handful of herbs, creams, oils, and bandages in his arms. You giggled at the sight.

“I did not think you were much of a healer.” He dropped everything at your side and then kneeled down to your level.

“Well my grandmother is the Tsahik after all. I happen to know one or two things.” Neteyam argued, his lips dancing with a tiny smile.

He gently worked to take your visor off and then wiped away the war paint. He knew you didn’t like to talk about the missions right away, so he enjoyed the comfortable silence between you two instead.

Neteyam’s hands were gentle as he rubbed the special herbs against your skin. You would occasionally hiss when it hurt a little bit more and he would mumble something about how he was almost done and you were doing so well.

He certainly wasn’t a healer like his grandmother or Kiri who had a special hand at medicine, but it meant a lot to both of you when he would heal your wounds for youor, when you would heal his after a long hunting day.

“Many, many people got hurt today.” You spoke after some silence. Neteyam hummed behind you.

“It was that bad?”

“Their machines are just so powerful. We are no match with our bows and arrows sometimes. They had to have known we were coming because they attacked back at us so harshly.” You shook your head some and Neteyam knew there was vivid images replaying in your mind.

“It is so hard to understand why they want us dead. If they were just a bit kinder then maybe there could be more peace worked out.” You continued on with your little rant, frustration becoming set in your body language. Your shoulders fell tense under the Sully boy’s hands.

“You know how hard they have tried with us. Someone always gets hurt. I suppose after all the failed efforts they have no other choice but violence, unfortunately.” Neteyam knew all about the schools his mother once attended in her earlier years. It seemed like the Sky People tried making an effort, but nothing ever held permanently.

“I know, it is just so frustrating. Tsanten and Naria are growing to that age where they will be old enough to go out on their own. I worry for them and what those demons could do to them.” A scowl sat on your face. Neteyam turned you around, cupping your face in his hands.

“I know how terrifying it can be. I worry for my siblings everyday, but you are very strong and you will be able to teach them well.” You smiled, but it didn’t stay for long as you casted your gaze away from him.

“I just wish I was not the one to always do it. My parents pay no attention to them anymore. They are always away. It should not be my job to teach my siblings every single life skill they will ever need.” You pushed yourself up from the ground, leaving Neteyam’s grasp.

He watched you wander to the entryway where you stared at the people moving about outside. Many were still tending to those who were wounded more worse than you.

Neteyam wasn’t a complete open book, but when he was with you, he felt comfortable enough to share the things bothering him the most. You, on the other hand, had a more harder time opening up to him. He knew you trusted him, but he couldn’t pull everything from you. He knew you parents were strict and absent people, always being away, which is why you held so much responsibility and burden. However, he didn’t know much more than that. You always closed it off.

Hearing what you were saying now, though, it was more than what you would usually say. Neteyam got up to join you at the entryway.

“You are right, it should not be your job, but unfortunately it is. You do a great job at teaching them and raising them.” His hand fell against your back. You leaned a tiny bit closer to him while your gaze was on Foana and Tuk a few feet away.

“I worry that they think I am too hard on them, but I am really just trying to help them survive on their own.” In that moment, Neteyam realized something. His whole life, his parents taught him how to hunt, fish, make kills, but their biggest motto was “Sully’s stick together.”

While yes, he was learning things on his own, he was also learning that he wouldn’t have to be alone because his family would always have his back. You did not have that.

You were the one who would always have your siblings’ back, but they wouldn’t always necessarily have yours. You were teaching them to survive on their own, not to depend on one another like he was taught growing up. Independence was a key feature of your family dynamic. Dependence was the key feature of his family dynamic.

“You are not too hard on them. You are doing what you know and hoping they will learn it too. It is a great feature to know you will always be dependable for them. However, you can always depend on me if you ever needed something.” You met his gaze and Neteyam smiled warmly at you.

“Your words are too kind. Thank you, my love.” Neteyam’s ears perked up. He had never heard that nickname before from you. You giggled upon seeing his surprised reaction.

“No, thank you, pretty girl.” He engulfed his arms around your shoulders to bring you into his chest. You chuckled and he knew you didn’t quite understand his nickname he gave you, but it didn’t matter.

He thought that maybe you going out on these missions weren’t so bad as long as he was the one to patch you up afterwards—and he always was going to be the one patching you up every. single. time.

FOUR.

Neteyam ventured out on a day-long hunting expedition with his father, brother, and even your own little brother. You remembered how excited Tsanten was when Jake approached him one night to ask if he wanted to tag along to get some pointers from the older guys.

It warmed your heart to see Neteyam’s family being so welcome to your own. Tsanten didn’t have your dad to take him out like this, so being able to finally go out was like a dream come true for him, especially with the Olo’eyktan.

You had a pretty slow day considering Neytiri decided to take Tuk, Kiri, and your other three sisters out for what she liked to call a “girls day.” She extended the invite to you, but you figured with everyone out of the hut was a great opportunity to get some cleaning done.

With a job that would usually take hours, it only took about two and you were done by noon. Toys were put away; the rug was cleaned; things were put back where they belonged—the entire hut looked spotless.

You ended up venturing over to the Sully residence to see if Neytiri and the girls returned yet. You thought it was empty approaching since it was practically silent until you saw Mo’at sitting near the back grinding some of her herbs together.

She caught your eye before you could walk away. You had never really spoken to the Tsahik before. Most times, you would send your siblings in if they had gotten hurt and waited outside for them. You knew she was a woman of few words despite being so highly respected within the clan.

You bowed to her.

“You must be Neteyam’s…oh what do they say..girlfriend?” The older woman cracked a tiny smile causing you to flush.

“I suppose so, yes. I apologize for interrupting you.” You nodded to her bowl of herbs. She waved you off though, beckoning you inside.

“I come here sometimes to get away when I want to be alone. There is always someone bursting into my hut needing fixing.” You smiled a bit, sitting down beside the older Na’vi.

“I understand. It is always nice to get away sometimes.” She smiled, glad you understood her.

You felt a bit strange being in Neteyam’s home without him there. Ever since the family dinner, you had only been over a handful of times, so being here alone with just his grandmother was definitely different. The usual organized chaos that filtered through his home was replaced with tranquility as the day grew shorter.

“You are a hunter and warrior correct?” Mo’at spoke up again. Flushing that she knew that about you, you nodded.

“Those are very useful skills to have as a Na’vi like you. I am impressed, especially with how much my grandson tells me about you.” She waved her finger around. You were sure that if Neteyam was here he would be embarrassed she had said that.

“Thank you, Mo’at. My parents grew up that way, so they raised me the same.” Your parents had always been die-hard warriors, so it was practically in all of your blood to become just like them one day.

“I do not see your parents around as often as I used to.” Who knew the Tsahik knew so much about your family. You scratched the back of your ear to find some excuse that didn’t sound horrible to tell her.

“They are always on hunting trips. They like to travel a lot.” Not a complete lie, but not exactly the entire truth.

“I see, I see. They always seemed to be very ambitious people.” You nodded. Yes, ambitious was certainly one way to describe them.

“It is mostly just my siblings and I around the hut. They like to take very long hunting trips.” Mo’at nodded once again.

“Yes, Neteyam says that you are the main caretaker of your siblings.” You flushed again. How much was Neteyam actually talking about you when you weren’t around? A lot, apparently.

“That task can be rather daunting, but he says you handle it very well. All of your siblings seem like very respectful people.” She continued before you could respond. You smiled. That compliment meant a lot coming from Tsahik of the village.

“Thank you, that means a lot coming from you.” She grinned at you while continuing to crush and grind away in her little bowl.

“Would you like to try?” She looked down at the bowl. You flushed realizing she was asking you to help grind up her herbs.

“Oh, sure.” She switched places with you and you began doing exactly what she had done. You crushed them down into tiny little bits and pieces.

“This could be your job one day.” Mo’at eyed you as she added in another handful. Your entire face deepened into a darker shade of blue.

“Oh..I do not know about that. Maybe?” You liked Neteyam a lot, but you two were teenagers still. His selection for a mate was still so far away and he would not become Olo’eyktan for quite some time.

“You like my grandson, no?” For a woman of few words, Mo’at seemed to have a lot to talk about with you.

“Yes, I do. He is a lovely young man.” You weren’t sure, but you thought you saw her grin from the corner of you eye.

“I do not know much about..what does Jakesully say..teenage love, but I know my grandson likes you a lot. He talks and talks about you so much. I know it can be scary stepping into that kind of love, but I usually do not steer wrong when I watch my children fall in love. I was not wrong about Jakesully and my daughter.” Hearing all of this coming from Tsahik meant so much to you. You held a lot of respect for the older Na’vi and now she was sitting beside you giving you advice about relationships like you were one of her own.

“Your hunting and warrior skills matched with your caretaking skills would make a wonderful Tsahik one day if that is what happens.” She squeezed your arm and everything in you felt so warm and comforted. No one had ever said things like that to you before and hearing it from Mo’at made it even more special.

“You are too kind. Thank you.” You flushed for the hundredth time in the last twenty minutes. Mo’at grinned once more.

“I know a kind soul when I see one. Eywa would not have brought you and Neteyam together if she was not wanting you two to be together in that way.” Obviously, Mo’at would know best when it came to Eywa. You smiled, glancing back down at the herbs.

Maybe one day this would be your fate.

—

Neteyam returned from his day-long hunting trip exhausted and ready to collapse into his hammock for a long nap. His mother was there to greet him with a kiss to the cheek and to his surprise, his grandmother was sitting inside eating her bowl of food.

“Hello, grandmother.” He bowed to her and she nodded back.

“Hello, my grandson. How was the trip?” Neteyam shrugged some, dropping his belongings to the ground for now. It was as best as it could be with Lo’ak being his usual self plus an added friend along for the ride.

“It was very informative. Father gave us great tips.” That part was not a lie. Jake always gave his sons great pointers for making their kills.

“That is great, I am very glad. I had a nice visit with your Y/n today.” Neteyam’s eyes widened a bit.

“You did? When?” He suddenly worried his grandmother told her embarrassing things about him or exposed how he would talk about her all the time.

“She stopped by here looking for you, I think, but I was here instead. I offered inside and we had a very nice chat. She is a wonderful young woman.” Neteyam couldn’t help but smile hearing that. You were amazing. He was glad to hear his grandmother liked her as much as he did.

“She would make a very wonderful Tsahik one day. She has nearly every skill necessary without even having much training for the position.” Mo’at eyed her grandson. Neteyam’s entire face flushed, but he also felt a sense of pride. You were great at nearly everything, he wasn’t surprised Mo’at thought that.

“Well, I hope one day it will happen. We are still young and—“

“Tsahik knows everything, son. It will happen.” Neteyam watched his grandmother beam at him widely. He flushed once more and then tried to hide the smirk forming on his lips by looking away.

In his head, he knew you were the one for him, but that was never definite. Hearing his grandmother basically confirm it was enough for him. You were it for him. Through and through.

FIVE.

You hadn’t snuck out during the night in awhile. Neteyam suggested it would be a nice way to get your minds off of things and just be with each other for a bit since your siblings were always interrupting or needing something.

Neteyam swung along the oh so familiar path to the tree he had taken so many times before. Eclipse had just begun and every time he was so amazed at how the forest lit up around him. It made Pandora that much more magical.

Like always, you had beaten him to the spot. Except this time, you weren’t alone. Your ikran was perched a few feet away and you had your riding visor on. Neteyam grew suspicious, but you only grinned at him.

“I thought we could go for a ride. We haven’t flown during Eclipse in so long.” You freckles were glowing and Neteyam could see the large smile on your face and your eagerness to fly.

“I did not bring any of my things and I only have my—“ You cut him off by revealing your hands that were hidden behind your back. You held his riding visor in your hands.

“I knew you would say that, so I planned ahead.” Neteyam could only smile at you. You always thought of everything.

“What if we get attacked or something?” Neteyam was still skeptical. He loved riding at Eclipse with you, but he felt under prepared if anything happened while you two were out.

“Nothing will happen, I promise. If it makes you feel any better, I have my bow. Come on, we have not ridden in so long.” You were tugging at his hand and he couldn’t resist your pleas. He took his visor from your hands and smiled.

“Okay, fine. Let’s do it.” He would do anything to be able to make you smile like you were right now. He called for his ikran while you hopped up on yours.

Once you two were both on, you exchanged a glance. There was a playful smirk on your lips as you pushed your visor down. Neteyam grew curious of the look.

“Last one to Ayram Alusing loses!” And then you were off before Neteyam could even process what you had said.

He quickly took off with you already five paces ahead of him. He had no idea how you gained so much speed already while he struggled to even pick up momentum. The wind blew against his face, making it burn some of his skin that was not protected. It was definitely not working in his favor tonight.

“You are losing, Neteyam!” He heard you call from ahead of him. He growled some and focused all of his energy into catching up to you.

He was finally able to catch up to your side. He smirked over at you.

“Who is losing now?” He teased and pushed ahead ignoring the harsh breeze as best as he could.

The two of you soared through the sky, the Hallelujah Mountains just ahead. Neteyam had the lead, but you were just on his tail, literally. If you reached out, you could probably touch the end of his ikran.

You had a competitive spirit, so there was no way you were letting yourself loose to Neteyam. From his peripheral, he saw you creeping up on him.

“You can not win everything, Y/n!” He called over to you, but there was something in your eye telling him you were definitely not losing this round.

He tried focusing through the bond to get his ikran to pull ahead as the first two mountains came up. However, you blew right past him like magic and crossed the imaginary finish like. Neteyam sighed in defeat as you pumped your arms up and down for another victory.

“I told you I would win. You do not win against me.” The eldest Sully still smiled nonetheless, enjoying seeing you so happy. He would lose a hundred times to you to be able to see you as happy and carefree as you were right now.

“My apologies, I should have known I had no chance.” Neteyam held his hands up in surrender. The little smirk continued to dance on your lips as you took off to keep flying around the mountains.

The boy stuck close to your side, the two of you smiling widely as you weaved in and around the large rock formations. You would occasionally dive over the larger branches hanging out to make it a game.

Neteyam felt like his parents where he knew they still snuck out at later hours of the night to do this. It was so thrilling, yet so relaxing at the same time. The breeze had finally died down and it no longer felt like bullets pelting his skin as he rode.

“You want to rest here? There is an open spot.” You pointed up ahead at a clearing in one of the mountain tops. Neteyam nodded and followed you to the landing.

You jumped off your ikran, taking in your surroundings. The entire area was glowing its bioluminescent glow. Each flora, leaf, tree moss, everything was shining bright acting as the light in the dark night.

“That was easily the best ride I have had in awhile. What about you?” You flipped your visor up and turned to Neteyam. In a swift move, he snaked his arms around your waist to bring you closer.

“That certainly was a great ride, but maybe next time you will lose the race here.” He grinned and earned an eye roll from you.

“In your dreams. You may be future Olo’eyktan, but you can never win against me.” You shook your head and Neteyam only chuckled.

“And you may be future Tsahik one day, so that competitive nature may need to die down a bit.” He smirked and your face flushed. You broke away from his grasp to look up at the blue-purple sky.

“Your grandmother speaks of the same thing.” You smiled, thinking about your time with Mo’at a few weeks ago.

“Is that what you two talked about that one day?” Neteyam questioned, always wondering what his grandmother could possibly be saying to you when he wasn’t around.

“She is a very kind lady. She knows what she is talking about.” You laughed some. Neteyam cringed knowing she definitely embarrassed him during that conversation.

“Did she say anything about me?” He had to ask even if he didn’t want to know.

“Oh, so many things. She loves you.” You found a comfortable spot against one of the trees to stargaze. Neteyam joined you.

“Anything embarrassing?” Your tiny giggle told him all he needed to know. He internally face palmed.

“If I told you, it would ruin the fun.” You grinned and Neteyam knew that Mo’at definitely embarrassed the shit out of him. Wonderful.

“Well, I am serious about your future Tsahik fate. Just think, you and I head of the clan one day. It would be perfect.” Neteyam threw his arm around you and you giggled at the image appearing in your head.

The Sully boy pictured it too. It looked very similar to his mother and father right now. You would still be a warrior while also caring for the people when they needed it. He would wear the large feather chest piece and headpiece his father wore—planning hunting trips, war parties, overseeing the entire clan. The future was so close yet so far. He knew it would be before him soon.

For now though, he wouldn’t worry about that and enjoyed the time he was spending with you by his side. It was enough waking up in the early hours of the morning, spending hours on specific skills, he didn’t need to wish it upon himself right now.

“Well, if it does happen, at least the people seem content with your choice of..me.” You giggled at your wording. Neteyam smiled.

“It is a miracle no one has talked much. I think they know my father will be at their throats considering I am their son if they did say anything about you.”

“I knew it would be fine. You worry too much sometimes, you know.” You poked at his chest, making him squirm away from you.

“I am merely just caring about you. It is not worry.” Neteyam attempted to defend himself, but it was clear he had a weak defense.

“You also worry. Do not be afraid to admit it. It is charming knowing you worry so much.” Another grin came from you.

“Well of course I am going to worry and care. It is who I am.” You pulled him back towards you so he could cuddle into you.

“And I love who you are.” You cradled his head, pulling your hand through his pretty braids.

He almost said it. He almost had the courage to tell you.

Jake taught Neteyam the phrase when he once asked what it meant after hearing him tell it to his mother. Jake explained how it was much more intimate than I see you. It was something the Sky People would tell those they cared deeply for.

Neteyam had been wanting to say it you for ages, but he never thought it was the right time. He didn’t know how you would react. Would you freak out? Would you say it back? Did you love him? He for sure loved you, but he wasn’t sure if you reciprocated his feelings that much. He didn’t want to scare you with such a meaningful phrase. It seemed like the right time, but it also didn’t at the same time.

Instead, he nuzzled his head further into you and breathed you in. He savored the way your hair smelled—somehow it always smelled like fresh flowers. He listed to your heartbeat, nearly putting him to sleep. The moment was taking him over. It was complete bliss and comfort being in your arms.

THE ONE TIME HE SAID IT.

Everything was perfect until it wasn’t.

You planned a cute little picnic in the forest for you and Neteyam. He was dragged out of his hut with instructions to keep his eyes closed or he would ruin the surprise. Your grip on his hand was tight as he was dragged through the forest, occasionally knocking his head against a low hanging branch you forgot to push out of the way.

“Y/n, that was the third branch. Where are we going?” He laughed trying to figure out where he was, but it wasn’t much luck considering he was blindfolded.

“Just be patient. You will love it.” You hoped he would love it. You worked to put it together all day yesterday, so if he didn’t like it you’d be damned.

Trusting you, Neteyam kept accepting hits to the head and scratches to the arm knowing it had to be worth it in the end.

When you two finally arrived at your destination, you pulled the cloth from his eyes. He squinted, not used to the bright light, but when his vision finally leveled out, he was in awe of what he saw.

The little clearing had been decorated with numerous vines that wrapped around each tree branch. Flower petals were scatted along the ground. It looked like something from his dreams.

“Surprise! What do you think? A picnic in the forest.” You held your arms out, excitement bouncing across your face. Neteyam was still speechless at the effort that must’ve been put into all of it.

“You did this all for me?” You nodded, leading him further in.

“Of course I did. I had some help from Kiri and my sisters, but you deserve it after all the work you have been doing.” You turned to him, grinning widely. Neteyam cupped your face trying to find the words to express his gratitude.

“You are the best person ever. Thank you, my love.” He pecked your lips and then went to see what you had packed for your picnic.

You joined him on the blanket Neytiri let you use while Neteyam immediately began eating anything he saw. You laughed at his actions.

“Someone has not eaten yet today?”

“Oh, you have no idea. I have been out since the eclipse ended training with my father.” You grinned, glad you could feed him.

Everything was perfect until it wasn’t.

Since it was a spur the moment surprise, neither of you thought to bring any weapons with you besides the knives you always carried. It was a part of the forest only Na’vi went. There was no possible way danger could lurk around the corner or behind a tree.

“If you could come back as anything you wanted, what what you want to come back as?” Neteyam laid across the blanket staring up at the clear sky. Your head was beside his as you laid the other way. Your stomach’s were full of food and now you were just relaxing in the sun.

“Anything?” That was a hard question. There was so many things you wanted to be.

“Anything.”

“I think I would want to come back as an ikran. They are so beautiful and just imagine being able to go anywhere you wanted basically. Flying through the sky with your rider. It sounds like such a dream.” You adored your rides with your ikran and being one would be a whole other level you would want to experience.

“I think I would want to come back as one of the good scientists like Norm or Dr. Max.” Neteyam’s answer surprised you and even himself. Sky People were evil and even some didn’t fully trust the good scientists who stayed behind, but he wanted to know what it felt like to live as human.

His father told him and his siblings countless stories of his time being apart of the Sky People and it always intrigued Neteyam.

“I know it sounds crazy, but my father told us so many stories as his time as one of them. It just seems so interesting to me.” He continued his reasoning when you didn’t respond.

“I understand it. I think it would be interesting to live as them for a day.” It was strange to Neteyam. Sky People could live like his people whenever they chose to, but he could not live like them. There was no science to make human bodies for Na’vi people who wanted the experience.

He got a lot of exposure from Spider, but it wasn’t really the same. Neteyam wanted to see it, feel it for himself.

“I have just always felt human because of my father’s blood. Even though I do not have the five fingers like Lo’ak and Kiri, I still have half of his blood in me.” Neteyam tore his gaze to his hands. His long, thin fingers that were just like his mother’s and Tuk’s.

His parents liked to say he took on more of Neytiri’s genes while Lo’ak gained Jake’s.

“It is okay to wonder and want to feel it, Neteyam. You are half human, half Na’vi. It is good you are curious.” You reached up to caress his cheek and the boy leaned into your touch.

“It just feels wrong, though. The Sky People are demons. They hurt us. Why do I want to wonder more about them?” In a sense, he also felt guilt. He knew how much his mother despised those people and even sometimes Spider because he was one of them. Why should he want to know more when all they did was hurt people?

“Do not feel guilty for wondering. Your father was them once upon a time,” He grinned at your english phrase you used. Him and Lo’ak were definitely rubbing off on you. “And he is a good human. You can still wonder and want to be like them and still be good. Norm and Max are good Sky People. It is your blood, your ancestors. Do not feel bad for wanting to wonder.” Neteyam liked the reassurance you were giving him. He was worried he sounded crazy or something.

He was about to respond when his ears twitched for a second and he suddenly got a random chill across his arms. A faint rustling noise floated into his ears. He quickly sat up.

Normally, he wouldn’t have been so alarmed, but the way his skin started to crawl told him it wasn’t some animal lurking.

“Neteyam? What is wrong?” You sat up seeing his quick change in demeanor.

“Shh, be quiet for a second.” He held his finger to his lips. His eyes bounced around the area you two were in and he grabbed for his knife.

The rustling noise continued and it got closer to where you guys were. Neteyam grabbed your arm, making you stand up with him. His actions were frightening you because you didn’t know what was going on.

“Someone else is here.” He whispered to you. He felt his heart beating a bruise into his chest at the idea of someone else lurking close by.

Everything was perfect until it wasn’t.

A noise and then an arrow was flying just above your heads. You screamed out of instinct and fear. Neteyam’s hand was back on you about to hide behind a tree. When he spun around, two larger hands with a much stronger grip grabbed ahold of the two of you.

You screamed again. Neteyam hit them with his knife causing a minor distraction. He spun away from the prying hands, until four more people emerged from the bushes, large guns in their hands. He suddenly stopped, knowing he couldn’t take them with just a knife.

“Well, look at what we have here. Looks like we crashed someone’s date.” Neteyam knew it wasn’t a true Na’vi by the way they wore full clothes and spoke in english to him. It was Avatars.

The one, tall with a buzz cut haircut, crouched down to be at his eye level. Neteyam hissed at him as he scanned his entire face with his eyes. He held his knife out for defense.

“I heard you talking a few moments ago. You said your father was from the..Sky People. Your father doesn’t happen to be Jake Sully, does it?” With the English Neteyam did understand, he knew this guy was bad and clearly had his dad on his radar.

“Oe rä’ä tslam nga.” (I do not understand you) Neteyam growled out. The avatar looked at him, quirking his eyebrow and exchanging a glance with his accomplices with him.

You continued to struggle in the hands that held a tight grip on you.

“If you tell me where your father is, I’ll let her go.” He nodded towards you. Neteyam only hissed at him once more, knife high, ready to strike.

“Or we can do this the hard way, it’s up to you. You are definitely your father.” The avatar man grabbed Neteyam’s hand. He examined his fingers, raising his eyebrow once more.

“Sure didn’t get his genes though, that’s for sure.” The others snickered around them. Neteyam pulled his hand back, unsure of what to do. If he went for a hit, they wound shoot and he didn’t want that to happen.

His eyes gazed over at you. You met his gaze, the same unsureness resting in your look. If you were scared, Neteyam couldn’t tell because you hid it well.

He couldn’t call in his dad because that would just lead this guy right to him. He was out of any good options.

Everything was perfect until it wasn’t.

“All you have to do is tell me where your dad is and no one will get hurt.” Neteyam thought of an idea.

He slowly raised his hands in means of surrender. The guy looked at him, curious. Neteyam set his knife down by his feet and then slowly moved his hands to where his transmitter sat on his neck.

He pushed into the buttons and began speaking in Na’vi since these guys clearly didn’t understand it as well as he could speak it.

(Let’s pretend this is Na’vi because I can’t translate the entire conversation 😌)

“Dad, we’re under attack, I need help.” Neteyam glanced warily at the man standing before him who watched his moves carefully.

“Neteyam? Where are you?” His dad came into his ear, urgent and worried.

“In the forest where the open clearing is. Avatar men with guns. We’re surrounded.”

“We? Who is we?”

“Y/n and I. We need your help.” The guy wasn’t exactly picking up on what Neteyam was saying which was good. His plan was working so far.

“Okay, we’re on our way.” And then he was out. Neteyam knew two things after that: one, his father was a much better fighter than these guys were. He was Na’vi, he had years and years to adapt. He could take these guys out easily. Two, his dad wasn’t going to give himself up to this guy and if they could defeat him, it wouldn’t even be in the question.

“He is coming now.” Neteyam spoke in english so the guy understood. He quirked his eyebrow once more, almost surprised.

“Well, that was easier than I thought it would be.” The others chucked around them. Behind his back, Neteyam made a small hand signal to you that he hoped you would understand.

Suddenly, there was a screech. You had bitten the arm that was holding you. Neteyam used that distraction to grab his knife from the ground. He went for the guy’s leg.

You wrestled out of the grasp. The others went for you, but being the skilled warrior you were, it was easy to take them out. You swung your leg around, taking one out with your foot.

Neteyam slashed the leg of the guy and went for his gun. His father had taught him and Lo’ak how to use one, so he knew exactly where to go to blow the amo out of it.

He used his knife to slash another one’s arm. It was pure chaos. Blood sputtered every which direction and the others were trying to fire their guns at you two. You were quicker than them, though. You knocked them from their hands and kicked their legs out.

One particular cut Neteyam made went across the entire face of one of the avatars.

“Quaritch, we need to fall back. We can’t take this many losses right now.” One of them urgently spoke to the one Neteyam slashed the leg of.

“I need Jake Sully. I am not leaving without him.” He argued bitterly.

“We’ll come back when we’re better prepared! At least we know they’re close by.” He seemed to finally give in. He called something Neteyam didn’t understand and all of his accomplices began retreating back into the forest where they had come from.

Relief flooded through Neteyam. They were leaving and the both of you were still safe. However, his relief didn’t last for very long.

Everything was perfect until it wasn’t.

He turned to you, a smile spread across his lips until he saw the way you clutched your stomach. Your hands were trembling as they slowly revealed what was happening. Your knife handle was sticking out and blood was dripping from your skin.

There wasn’t a smile on his face anymore. His relief disappeared and was quickly replaced by fear.

“Neteyam..” You sputtered, swaying on your feet. He was quick to catch you before you hit the ground.

“No, no, no, no, Y/n. It’s okay, it’s okay, it’s okay. Look at me. Look at me. You’re okay.” He was sputtering, clutching your arm and staring at the way your knife was lodged into your stomach.

“Why am I so warm? Is it warm?” Your entire face was losing color by the second. Neteyam, even though he tried not to show it for your sake, was panicking.

“You’re fine. It’s going to be fine. You’re going to be fine. Help is coming. They’re coming to help us.” He knew better than to pull the knife out, but you were practically pouring blood everywhere.

“Am I dying? Is this what it feels like to die?” The blood loss was making you go into shock. Neteyam was cradling your head, trying to stay calm for you and himself.

“No, you are not dying, my love. You are going to be okay. You are not going to die. I will not let you die.” If he had his bow and arrow, maybe he would’ve been able to take down those other guys easier. If he had a better weapon, anything other than a knife then maybe this wouldn’t have happened.

You were not dying.

Your breathing started becoming rigid. It was broken into heavy pants and you were sputtering again.

“If-if I don’t..If I don’t make it..Can you-will you take care of them for me?” Your siblings. Neteyam visibly shut his eyes for a moment. How would he explain this to Foana? Who would take care of them if you..no you were not dying.

“Do not say that. You are going to take care of them because you are going to live. My dad is coming. Everything is going to be okay.” It was mostly just so Neteyam would believe himself too. Everything was going to be okay.

His ears twitched and perked up when he heard sounds of ikrans coming. His father’s ikran came into view along with his mother’s. They landed and then rushed to where you two were.

“Dad! Someone put her knife into her. She..she is losing so much blood.” Neteyam’s voice broke that time. He couldn’t hold it back any longer.

“Shit, shit.” Neteyam watched as his dad gently flipped you to your side. Luckily, there was no exit wound, but the blood kept coming.

“I-I do not feel very good. I-I-“ You were heaving at this point. Your eyes were glazing over and your entire skin had gone from a deep blue to an entirely lighter shade.

“Y/n, you need to stay with me. Please, please stay with me.” Neteyam cupped your face, trying to keep your eye contact with him.

“We need to get her to the village. To Max and Norm and Mo’at.” Neytiri had a look of pure horror on her face seeing you like that.

Your eyes couldn’t stay open much longer. The blood loss was becoming fatal. Neteyam began shaking you when he saw your eyelids drift closed.

“Y/n! Y/n!” He was in too much of a panic to even check if you were breathing or not still. He could not lose you. Not now.

“We need to get her to the village, right now. Neteyam! Are you with me?” His father was practically yelling at this point. However, his eldest son fell into what was his own shock.

He did not and could not move seeing your almost lifeless body in front of him. He didn’t process it as his dad lifted you up to his ikran. His mother had to pull him to his feet, trying to snap him back into attention. Nothing worked, though.

All he could think about was you. You, you, you. You were in love. His future woman. His future mate. You were the sister to his siblings. The sister to your siblings. You were their care taker. Who would..who would take care of them now?

He should’ve told you. He should’ve told you the other night on your night ride. It was so close on the tip of his tongue. Why couldn’t he find the courage to tell you then? What if he never got to tell you ever now?

Your body became so lifeless in his arms. Pale skin, gone eyes, blood nearly everywhere. This couldn’t be the end. There was so much life ahead for the two of you. Your future plans. He couldn’t possibly do it all without you.

His mother somehow managed to get him onto her ikran. She flew quickly through the sky after her husband who clutched your body tightly.

When they landed, you were rushed directly to Max and Norm. Mo’at was brought in to give you a heavy sedation medicine so they could pull the knife out without damaging anything serious. It was near chaos. No one but Mo’at was allowed where they were inside the labs.

Neteyam chewed on his bottom lip. Guilt, fear, anger, sadness, everything at once was eating him up inside. He figured he should be the one to tell your siblings what happened, so he did.

Their faces were enough for him to finally break down right in front of them. It should’ve been me. It should’ve been me. It should’ve been me. The phrase repeated in his head like a broken record.

All five of them sat on the ground of your hut hugging one another close. For a moment he hated your parents for not being here in this moment. They had no idea what was happening to their daughter right now.

Neytiri offered their hut to your siblings without hesitation to stay in.

Hours were ticking by it stated to feel like days to Neteyam. There was no word on the progress or your condition. It was merely a waiting game at this point. The knife was lodged deep and you lost a lot of blood.

Everything was perfect until it wasn’t.

Mo’at finally emerged after what seemed like almost six hours where a large group had gathered outside of the lab doors—Neteyam and his family included. All of them deeply concerned about your well-being.

“The knife has been removed. She is stable, but she is sleeping still and will be for a few days.” A tiny bit of relief washed through Neteyam knowing the operation was at least successful.

—

The days went by and you had finally awoken. Once visitors were allowed, your siblings were the first to check on you, of course. Neteyam hung back, a bit anxious and nervous to see you again.

He felt so guilty for what happened. He could not protect you after saying countless times that he would at any given moment. His failure caused him to hang his head low and avoid looking people’s way when he went out.

Kiri, Tuk, and Lo’ak were the next group of visitors. Neteyam still hung back. Maybe it was fear that was holding him back?

Could he possibly look you in the eye again after seeing you with a knife lodged into you? Not really. His fear made him feel upset in a sense. Why could he not face you? You were his love, yet he could not find himself to step foot into the lab.

A few more days passed and eventually the doctors and Mo’at agreed to move you back into your hut for more comfort. Neteyam avoided the entire village that day, in fear that he would see you.

What was wrong with him? One minute he could not stop seeing you and now he was afraid to even make eye contact with you.

It made him feel even more guilty.

One night, he sat outside by one of the drop-off spots. His head pounded and every single thought he ever had was swirling around like a school of fish.

He didn’t feel another presence until he caught sight of his mother sitting down beside him. She had began recognizing his absent behaviors and his avoidant gazes anytime he was around people. She knew how hard this was on her son.

“Have you seen her at all?” She crafted her words gently. Neteyam shook his head.

“I cannot. It pains me and the guilt is eating me alive.” He grabbed his chest like something was actually messing with him in there.

“Well, she is asking for you. She is confused why you have not seen her yet. You should go see her, Neteyam.”

“I can not. Every time I look at her I remember the horrid images of the knife deep in her stomach as the blood seeped through. It was the worst part of everything. I promised her protection and I can not even do that anymore.” He wanted his mother to understand, but he knew she wound not. Not completely, at least.

“Neteyam, this is not your blame. You did everything you could and no one is blaming you. I promise you, son.” Her arm outstretched to bring comfort to her son. She rubbed his back, trying to get him to understand.

“Then why do I feel so, so guilty like it is my fault?” He pleaded for an answer. His mother tried to come up with as best of an answer as she could.

“When you care for someone as deeply as you do, whatever happens to them begins to feel like it is your fault. It is not your fault, though. You take the blame because you think there is no where else to place it. My son, you did everything you could. No one is upset at you or mad or angry. Y/n is not upset with you. Do not think that.” Neteyam’s head hung low.

“I think it will fix a lot of things if you go see her. You will begin to realize this was none of your doing or fault.” Neytiri urged once more and Neteyam knew he couldn’t keep refusing. He had to be mature. He was almost Olo’eyktan and he couldn’t even face his own injured (almost) mate.

“Okay. I will go see her.” Neytiri smiled, giving her son a nod of encouragement.

The Sully boy stood and turned in the direction of your hut. He started bracing himself—for insults? Anger? Sadness? Frustration?

The closer he got to you, the faster his heart would beat against his chest. From inside, he could hear your siblings talking and at times arguing with one another.

He tapped on the wood before pushing aside the flap that covered the inside. Tsanten and Naria looked his way.

“Neteyam! You’re here!” Foana was at his legs, hugging him much like Tuk did. He smiled down at the little girl.

“Hello, Foana. Tsanten. Naria. Ni`awtu.” He bowed before them. Their looks told him they had never been greeted that way before.

In the corner, Neteyam caught sight of your figure. You were sitting upright carving something when you finally noticed his presence in your home.

“Neteyam, hello. Come in, come in.” You urged him in further. He slowly went to you and your siblings filtered themselves out knowing you two probably needed some space.

“You look so much better. How are you feeling?” He questioned taking in your skin that returned to its usual blue shade. You smiled some.

“I am definitely feeling a lot better. How are you?” You took ahold of his hands. The questioned seemed silly to him considering he wasn’t the one who got stabbed.

“I am doing okay. I am not the one who got stabbed, though.” He stifled a small laugh. You rubbed at his fingers and he was just glad to be able to feel your hands in his again, not the lifeless feeling they once were.

“Well, I have not seen you yet, so I was making sure you were okay.” Neteyam grimaced just a bit. He felt guilty for not visiting you sooner, but he just couldn’t bring himself to face you in the state that you were in.

“Yes, I am okay. I am sorry I did not visit you sooner. I..I just felt guilty about all of this and I was being selfish with myself.” His head hung low, ears dropping. You grabbed his chin though, shaking your head.

“There is nothing to feel guilty about, Neteyam. You did everything you could. Eywa gave me life again because she knew my time was not over yet. This was not your fault.” Your words were reassuring. He forced a small smile.

“Plus, you forget how strong I am. I have thick skin. Literally.” You laughed this time. The joke was corny, but it made both of you smile.

You allowed yourself to pull Neteyam closer and he situated himself so his head laid in your lap. He closed his eyes at the feeling of your fingers raking through his braids. It was a familiar feeling he had grown to miss while you were recovering.

“Hey, Y/n?” You turned your attention to the boy in your lap.

“Yeah?”

“I love you.” Neteyam’s heart was pounding, nervous for your reaction. He wasn’t sure if that was an Earth phrase you knew or understood, but he hoped it was.

A tiny smile danced on your lips. You caressed his cheek, leaning down to kiss it.

“I love you.”

The rest of the evening was spent wrapped in each other’s arms.

[mins-fins]

a day for love !

"so…what are we exactly?" "mortal enemies". "oh".

synopsis: zhong chenle has too much on his hands, with his musical education studies and being apart of the NCT U student body and basketball team, he has no time for any distractions, but then he meets you, cocky, flirtatious, attractive you, core member of the NCT U fencing team. he's immediately put off, taken aback my your self absorbency and sky high confidence, he finds it annoying, how you never take anything seriously. zhong chenle does not like you, he hates the way you always have his face red, how you make his legs feel weak, how you continue to run through his mind even when he's trying to not think about you. you're so annoying, and he's carrying that sentiment to his grave, he swears.

pairing: zhong chenle x male!reader

genre: university au, strangers to lovers, annoyed (chenle) x annoying (reader), fluff, crack/comedy, again no angst, lowkey fast burn(?), pining pining pining, chenle's in denial the whole time 😭, just super unserious, angry love confessions (kinda), many many other idol cameos, ft. na jaemin the instigator (and also kinda lee heeseung)

warnings: swearing, sexual jokes, mentions of sexy time, threats against your life in like a romantic way, mentions of drinking, lots of back and forth between our main leads, chenle being the stubbornest person ever

word count: 15k

notes: heyyyy… heyyyy…😇 so this is another draft from march that i abandoned for a good few months before finally getting up off my ass and finishing it, im not going to lie, it could've been much better writing wise, the thing that carries this work is the dynamic between chenle & reader which was soooo fun to write because i loosely based it off a dynamic between my irl friends 😭😭 this was originally supposed to come out in may at best BUT.. a lot happened, this is a birthday gift for the one and only user junjiie (take a shot everytime i mention jj in a note) the silliest, my bsf ever, and the person who i constantly attack with unsolicited spoilers! i apologize jj 😓 he listened to all my insane rants about this thing and i always have to thank him bc he's always interested!! happy birthday jj i love you sm 😿 again named after a yukika song, i have a pattern

IF CHENLE IS ANYTHING THESE DAYS, IT'S ANNOYED. it's already annoying enough that he's practically been worked to death this week, given no breaks by the student body or his coach, but now jaemin has decided to drag him away from his work to watch some stupid match between people he doesn't know. now, chenle isn't the kind of person who likes working on friday evenings, but this friday is different, because he genuinely has so much to do and has no time for distractions of any sort. just the sight of jaemin barging into his dorm was enough to make him and sigh and roll his eyes. it wasn't just that, but it was also his insistent begging for chenle to accompany him to his friends little competition, a friend he doesn't even know to begin with.

chenle isn't just annoyed, he's pissed off, his head hurts and there are so many people talking around him. he's currently overwhelmed with thoughts because he has an assignment to turn in soon and because he's standing here looking after jaemin's stuff, even more pissed because jaemin said he'd only be gone a few minutes.

it's been ten minutes, and jaemin is nowhere to be seen.

the moment jaemin appears, chenle swears he's going to punch him in the face. he crosses his arms and lets out his fifth exasperated sigh of the entire hour, a displeased look makes itself apparent in his eyes, what even is this anyway? some dumb fencing competition? chenle doesn't care about this, or about jaemin's friend that he hasn't met yet. at this point, chenle doesn't even want to meet this friend, he's frustrated.

and yeah, maybe it's stupid of him to be dumping all of his frustrations on this friend he hasn't met yet, but he's sleep deprived, and he wants a cup of coffee.

standing around and waiting for jaemin has become boring, so chenle has begun to scour his surroundings. the banners above display your usual school spirit words, all of them talking about beating the other school or something, he hears the people above him conversing about the upcoming competition, making bets on which fighter they think is gonna win.

it's enough to make chenle snicker, they're betting on this like it's a boxing match, it's just dudes fencing, it truly cannot be that serious.

"all this shit for some dumb fencing competition?"

"well, what crawled up your ass today?"

chenle startles when you seem to come out of nowhere, but his momentary fear immediately becomes annoyance once again as he notices your tone of voice. what is he getting an attitude for? chenle doesn't like you already.

"nothing, where the hell did you even come from?"

chenle looks you up and down, taking in your features. you have bewitching eyes, they're a beautiful shade of light brown, your tall, much taller than chenle, your hair falls prettily around your face, a pretty butterfly necklace adorns your neck (chenle has no idea why he's staring there), and your wearing a varsity jacket, the letters NCT U printed on the side.

ah, so he's an athlete. somehow, chenle doesn't put two and two together, or maybe he isn't exactly thinking about that, just annoyed by your audacity.

"i was just.. observing" you respond, shoving your hands into your pockets as you let a small hum leave your lips. "what's with the fencing hate? i don't think it's that bad.."

"your probably saying that because you're a fencer yourself".

a snort. "well— you caught me there".

chenle raises an eyebrow, now your tone confuses him. what is this guy getting at? he can't read you, and he doesn't really like it.

"i'm not even supposed to be here, i have work to do, but now i'm here looking after jaemin's stuff while he's doing who knows what because i agreed to come watch him support his friend!"

"well there's no need to yell.."

chenle glares at you, a certain distaste in his eyes he doesn't think he could replicate with anyone else, but you do sound kinda unreasonable, so he takes a deep breath. "yeah, sorry".

"it's alright".

there's a silence. chenle doesn't know what kind of conversation this is, he's not the kind of person to just interact with strangers like this, he usually doesn't like having conversations with strangers, but he doesn't want to stop this conversation..for some reason. you intrigue him, so he begins again.

"NCT U fencing? i didn't know our school had a fencing team.."

"maybe you just aren't around much, we are the stars of the show after all".

your words make chenle scoff, a small raise of his eyebrow accompanying it. he crosses his arms and examines your varsity jacket once more, then narrows his eyes. wow, what a high ego. "stars of the show? isn't that a little cocky of you to say?"

"cocky? tell that to my fifteen medals" you reply, and that gets an eye roll out of chenle. "and those are just college medals" you whisper, leaning closer.

chenle somehow gets frozen in his spot, not moving back, leaving the two of you with your faces almost pressed together. if he wasn't speechless right now, he would've pushed you away, but your breath fanning against his face and your sudden closeness makes him feel dizzy.

he stares, and he stares for a while. he allows for his eyes to roam your face, and they instinctively fall down to your lips, your lips which just look so tempting.

what the fuck? you don't even know the guy chenle! why are you thinking about kissing him?

"wow, you must be quite the impressive fencer, then".

his words are meant to come off as sarcastic, and he stops staring at your lips so that he can gently push you away from him, trying his best to ignore his currently reddening cheeks. "i am! i would even say so myself, not to give myself too much credit or anything.."

"well that is giving yourself too much credit" a small hum escapes your lips at his words, and you allow for yourself to be humored by his words. "what about the rest of your team?"

"your acting like i called them shitty fencers" you easily reply, glancing down at your watch and sighing as you notice the time. "i never said they don't bring anything important to the team, i'm just acknowledging how good of an asset to the team i am, and that's totally fine, nothing wrong with it".

your reasoning makes sense, but chenle doesn't this conversation to stop just yet. "that's just a level of confidence that seems a little unruly".

"there's nothing wrong with being confident" you say, and chenle allows for his shoulders to fall. he can't exactly disagree with that. "i know how good of a fencer i am, and you should be applauding me for that".

"maybe i'll applaud you when i actually see you display such skills".

you snicker at chenle's words, he hates that you look so good, he doesn't even know you, but you've managed to both annoy and sort of make him swoon in one go. "well it's your lucky day, you can cheer me on when i beat my opponent in a few minutes".

ah. chenle thinks back to the school spirit banners that are hanging from the ceiling, he thinks back to jaemin, to the stupid promise he made a good few hours ago, and now he's standing here with some overconfident fencer, some overconfident fencer he would've never met if he didn't give in to jaemin's incessant begging.

"that's nice, you really think your gonna win?"

"i don't think, i know, chenle".

chenle is about to counter your words with another remark, but pauses upon hearing his name escape your lips. how did you even know who he was? he's about to start assuming your a stalker or something. "you know my name?"

"you're apart of the student body, you play basketball, and your constantly in the top ranks , everyone knows who you are".

the words get an uncertain smile out of chenle, but he quickly lets it drop because he doesn't want to be smiling because of you. chenle doesn't care, he'll remain stubborn. "yeah, right, glad you know that".

"alright then, you can cheer me on, chenle, i'll be looking for you in the crowd".

chenle scoffs again, now he's completely done with you. "in your dreams.." he mutters, and while he intends for that to not be heard by you, you catch it anyway, but you allow for chenle to think he's in the clear, deciding to not comment on it.

"wish me luck!"

chenle watches you walk away.

he allows for the questions to immediately run through his mind, what the hell was that? why did he want to chase after you like some desperate little man? why didn't he want the conversation to end?

but then again, you are just so annoying, you're so convinced your going to win. chenle almost wants you to lose just so he could laugh in your face about it, but he also does want to watch you face off your opponent, just for entertainment.

and with no jaemin to be seen anywhere, chenle just groans and cusses at the older in his mind, he is genuinely going to punch jaemin when he sees him.

for now, he'll focus on this dumb competition (and on you, wait— no, NOT YOU! he is not focusing on you at all).

CHENLE HAS A HEADACHE THE NEXT DAY, AND HE MAKES sure to put all the blame on jaemin. what kind of friend is he? dragging him off to go see his friend's dumb competition only for him to disappear for more than half the time than proceed to only show up after the competition was almost over and scream in chenle's ear in the entire time. chenle thinks he should start getting paid for hanging out with jaemin, because he can never tell where the other male is half the time, but he's still getting dragged out to shit like this all the time. when jaemin skips his way into chenle's dorm the next morning, he's met with an immediate glare from the chinese, and he seems to have no idea why chenle is so upset with him. "woah, who pissed in your cereal?"

chenle scoffs, throwing jaemin his sweater and going to get a glass of water. "you did, i have a headache because of you".

jaemin laughs at chenle's annoyance, a taunting smile coming to his face as he makes his way towards the younger, a surge of pride in his chest. "really? what did i do?" it isn't a genuine question, and chenle can tell by the exaggerated pout which graces jaemin's features.

"you made me go to your friends stupid competition, then still decided to drag me around after the competition" chenle grits his teeth as he says those words, and all jaemin does is raise a humorous eyebrow, a small hum escapes his lips as he gets another glare from chenle. "not to mention, your friend is so annoying".

jaemin chuckles, getting a small punch in the shoulder from chenle. "oh, so you met y/n then?"

the name doesn't register in chenle's mind, he never actually got to know your name. "is that his name?" just the thought of you has chenle's stomach turning upside down, and he has no idea why. "he pisses me off, he talks too much".

"aww, he didn't make you swoon?"

"absolutely not" chenle says immediately, he is not going to admit how he felt lightheaded just by the sight of you, how you easily had his face red without having to do anything. "he's so into himself, how do you even hang around a guy like that?"

how do you not fall so in love with a guy like that?

"well he has every right to be! y/n has basically won the school all of their fencing awards, a majority of them anyway, i don't get what the hate is all about.."

chenle clears his throat. "i don't hate him, i'm just commenting on his self absorbency".

"your saying that, but you couldn't take your eyes off him the whole competition".

the accusation is enough to make chenle's cheeks go fiery red, what the fuck? he noticed? he opens his mouth to immediately deny the claim, but all he does is stutter whilst trying to clearly articulate his words. "that's not true".

"but it is! you were fangirling more than his actual fangirls! you couldn't even contain yourself!"

chenle rolls his eyes, a small scoff escaping his lips as he tries to ignore his reddening cheeks. "i was not fangirling, you're crazy".

"am i crazy? or are you just in denial?"

"your projecting onto me".

jaemin just snickers, able to see right through chenle's little denying streak. his red cheeks are a clear indication that you probably did end up flustering him, the latter is just too stubborn to admit such a thing. "uh huh, sure, keep telling yourself that chenle".

chenle scoffs, completely turning away from jaemin as he tries to ignore the heat rising in his cheeks. no he wasn't fangirling over you at all, jaemin is just crazy, jaemin is just making stuff up.

at least, that's what his mind tells him.

"YOUR LATE, ZHONG CHENLE" THE WORDS get a small glare from the addressed boy. a chortle sounds from his fellow student body member, kim jungsu, who is humored at the sight of the usually stoic zhong chenle being pissed off, but then again, such a face has become a norm to the titular zhong. "woah, what happened to you?" chenle only scoffs at the question, an exasperated sigh escaping his lips as he ignores the question from choi beomgyu, who only raises an inquisitive eyebrow. the two older boys exchange glances, watching as chenle begins getting up to his usual things. "jaemin decided to hold me up, again" chenle grits his teeth as he thinks about the stupid shenanigans of the na, rolling his eyes.

"what did he do this time?"

"made me walk around the whole school to find something for him.." chenle mutters, pissed off. "but he kept stopping every few minutes to catch up with his old friends!"

beomgyu startles at the sound of chenle's shout paired with the slam of files onto the table. it's often these days that na jaemin seems to be annoying zhong chenle more than anything, the prospect is hilarious, though, he has to admit.

"did you guys hear? y/n got an perfect score on friday!"

the absentminded comment is one chenle so badly wants to ignore, but just the mention of you is enough to make his stomach begin stirring in a way he can't explain. it's monday, why are people still talking about your stupid friday competition? (chenle knows why people still would be talking about it, you're a very talented fencer, he can't deny that).

"did he?"

"what are you guys even expecting at this point? it's y/n, he's never lost a competition once.."

chenle stays silent as he listens to his fellow peers talk about you, your competition, your winnings, just you you you. chenle hates the way you take over his mind, he's only met you once, only talked to you once, but he can't stop thinking about you.

it's a mix of butterflies and some other unknown creature fluttering around in his stomach.

"chenle! how come you and y/n aren't friends?" beomgyu suddenly chimes in, nudging the other in the shoulder. the younger blinks, puzzled by the abrupt question. "you two would be a good.. pair".

chenle knows what he's implying with the emphasis on the word pair (pair? more like couple..), and just the look on his face is enough to give him away. he ignores the red which dusts his cheeks, something that's been happening much more regularly when chenle starts thinking of you, he hates that it does. "we just.. don't know each other like that".

"you two have talked though haven't you?"

chenle is getting bothered by these constant interrogations, he doesn't want to talk about you, because he's not sure he'll be able to keep his ground, or his face from heating up irregularly. "yeah we talked at the competition.."

"oh you went!? how was it?"

"it was uh.." chenle pauses, trying to figure out the words to describe the competition, he isn't even thinking about the competition, he's thinking about you. he can't stop thinking about you, you've been running around in his mind for the past few days. "yeah uh— what you said, y/n got a perfect score.."

chenle quickly turns away from his peers so that he doesn't have to be faced with their several questions about you, mostly because he doesn't know how many excuses he'll be able to make for his red face. he puts away the files as he listens to everyone else continue conversing about you, how known are you? chenle doesn't think he wants to know.

"that can't be tru— wait y/n! come here!"

chenle's heart drops at just the mention of you, and he hears a confused "what?" escape your lips accompanied by the sound of footsteps. he curses in his mind, how is he supposed to avoid you now?

"what's up?"

chenle turns around as he tries to not look at you, but unfortunately, his eyes have other ideas. they drift off to you immediately, and once he looks at you, he can't look away. you look so casual, but you seem to glow. everyone else in the room has basically become nothing, and only you matter. chenle reprimands himself in his head for having such thoughts, he shouldn't be thinking about you so much, especially with you currently in the room. so, he clears his throat and takes his eyes off you.

"beomgyu said—"

"i didn't say anything! don't put the blame on me! dongyun back me up here!"

chenle blinks as he watches his friends dissolve into a full blown argument, with you standing there awkwardly having no idea what was going on. he is quick to tune out the argument, as he's done several times in the past.

but you don't seem to care about the argument transpiring in front of you, seeing as how you slip away from the shouting guys and go over to chenle. "do they always do that?"

chenle can't ignore you now, so he takes in a sigh and looks over at you, his legs immediately feeling like jelly as he locks eyes with you.

you're beautiful, just as beautiful as you were the first time chenle met you and became absorbed in you as a whole. chenle wants to fall over, but he stands his ground, he remains stubborn, he doesn't want to give you that satisfaction.

finally, after what seems like forever, chenle finds his voice, it took him pathetically long to though. "yeah, they argue about stupid shit all the time, don't worry about them".

you snicker, eyeing the student council members who are continuing to go at each other's necks. choi taeyang rubs his temples, completely irritated by this idiotic argument.

you aren't focusing on that, though, because your eyes immediately go back onto chenle. "we never truly established our relationship.. are we friends?"

chenle finds the words baffling. did you really just ask him that? he scrunches his nose, but he can't exactly tell how he feels about the whole thing. "are you really asking me this now?"

you hum, fiddling with your sweater collar. "well, jaemin told me i should try getting on your good side, apparently we need to get to know each other".

"of course he said that".

chenle grits his teeth, but his irritation is feigned, because you snort and look away, your smile this bright, blinding spectacle that chenle could admire for ages. "if you don't want to it's fine" you say, smile unable to be erased.

"i didn't say that" chenle quickly rebuts, much too eager to make that fact known to you. "we can be friends i just.. don't be as annoying as you are".

you gasp, offended. "you think i'm annoying?"

"your just jaemin's copy and paste really".

"is that supposed to be insulting? i happen to like jaemin".

"well that's obvious".

you scoff, crossing your arms. chenle has to stifle his giggles, because watching you look so defeated is just a little bit amusing to him. he can't help his smile, why the fuck do you look cute right now?

"you're so rude, i like you though".

chenle blinks. well he was not expecting that. maybe he doesn't have you all figured out like he thinks, you're unpredictable, how aggravating. he feels his jaw clench as he stares you down. "is that how you always make friends?"

"no.. you keep avoiding the term, though".

"you keep questioning me".

"i just want to get to know you".

"you can do that when we aren't in the student body room".

you roll your eyes, but it's not serious, because nothing is ever serious with you. "okay then, i'll see you some other time, zhong".

you give chenle one last smile before muttering something intelligible to beomgyu, which draws an incredulous gasp from him. you bid your goodbyes to the rest of the student council before once again smiling and making your way out of the door. "he's so dreamy isn't he?"

taeyang snorts, shaking his head. "totally, but i think he liked chenle best".

chenle's face goes bright red the moment he's put on the spot, and jungsu's little giggles meet his ears. "you— he was just being stupid.."

"ohhh, i see".

"wait, chenle and y/n have thing?"

"we do not!" chenle immediately shouts, but as his voice elevates, his cheeks continue to flare. he isn't convincing enough, seeing as how taeyang snickers at the way he heats up embarrassingly. "we do not have a thing! he's just.. annoying".

"so you don't want to fuck him?"

"no!"

but unfortunately, zhong chenle isn't spared from the teasing of his student body members.

"CAN I ASK YOU A STUPID QUESTION?" IT WOULD BE annoying if not completely a norm by now. good god jisung is lucky he's jisung, chenle can't count how many times he's wanted to just clock him square in the face. maybe he's saved from such a fate, but yangyang surely isn't, and chenle is just gearing up the punch as he hears the liu begin snickering. if kun didn't nag so much he probably would've followed the whispering thoughts that told him to shut yangyang up with his fists, but keeping his composure is important. chenle clicks his tongue, tugging at his sweater and rolling his eyes at jisung's subsequent muttering. "okay but don't be mad!" chenle immediately snaps his head towards the younger, and jisung halts in his movements, yangyang's growing laughter is definitely not helping. "you're already mad!"

"i'm not, idiot" chenle grits his teeth, but he relaxes his shoulder and takes a deep breath. "just ask".

"what the hell is going on with you and y/n?"

chenle immediately scrunches his nose, pausing. now how would jisung know about anything that happened between you two? not that anything did happen between you two! it's just strange how chenle meets you on one friday, has like three interactions with you, and suddenly everyone thinks that he has a crush on you or something.

he doesn't! he really doesn't! why isn't anybody convinced?

"nothing! oh my god why is everyone asking me this?"

yangyang snorts, great, now he's going to add his two cents to the mix. "you look at the guy like he solved all of your problems, you sure you don't even want to kiss him?"

chenle scoffs, quickly flipping off yangyang and rolling his eyes. "no, yangyang i don't want to kiss y/n, and i don't stare at him like.. that, who even implied that to you jisung?"

jisung is just the slightest bit terrified of chenle, seeing as how his facial muscles strain to try and fit a smile. "jaemin hyung.."

"and you know heeseung gossips about everything! he's about to put it on the school paper!"

"lee heeseung isn't apart of the school paper, he runs a barely functional gossip blog".

"gossip gets around quickly".

"you guys are acting like i got caught kissing the guy! i'm not in love with him or anything!"

jisung clearly doesn't believe that, and of course yangyang doesn't believe that, seeing as how he doubles over in laughter at chenle's statement of denial. chenle glares, yangyang isn't as funny as he thinks he is. "it's not funny".

"it really is, your cheeks are so red, how are you not in love with him?"

"i'm just not, how do you guys not believe me?"

"it's a bit obvious".

"your terrible at lying".

chenle gasps, dropping his arms at his sides. gosh, even when he is telling the truth everyone thinks he's lying.

and no he's not secretly lying! he is telling the truth! he has absolutely no feelings for you at all!

"i'm not lying".

"well you can go prove yourself then, your boyfriend is right there".

when chenle snaps his head in the direction jisung pointed, he stills, because there you are. his cheeks flare up at the nickname yangyang gave you, the words he's not my boyfriend rest on the tip of his tongue, but they get stuck in his throat when his eyes land on you.

are you fucking everywhere now? chenle talks to you one time and now you suddenly appear every single time he tries to convince himself that he doesn't harbor any romantic feelings towards you. you have to be some kind of psychic, you're probably reading chenle's mind, just ready to show up when he suddenly gets stuck in denial.

"see? your doing that weird love like stare" the whisper gets him out of his daze, his eyes of admiration quickly becoming eyes of hatred fully directed towards his fellow teammate.

"i am not".

jisung blinks, contemplating his words because of the way chenle glares, so his mouth falls shut. "there's nothing going on there, you guys are just stupid".

for the first time ever, yangyang and jisung do something in unison, snicker. "okay chenle, i'll totally believe that".

you laugh in the far distance, the harmony is beautiful, and chenle has to use all of the self control in his body to not turn his head in your direction. he can already imagine your smile, and he has to fight his own smile, chenle can admit that you're annoying, but he can also admit that you have a very pretty smile.

"your lover boy is over there".

you pause, still giggling behind your hand as you glance over at kim minjeong. "who?" you inquire, wincing at her hard pinch to your shoulder. when you turn your head, you grin at the person you see. "i can't exactly figure out why you say that".

"you seem a little obsessed".

you laugh. a huge, polyphonic laugh that would make the words you're hearing seem like absolute nonsense. "obsessed? i like the guy a normal amount".

"woah.. like?"

"platonic feelings do exist ms. kim" you rebut, arms crossing over your chest as you listen to the mutters of your fellow students. "and besides, he doesn't seem to like me much".

"he looks like he's even in love with you".

"you don't even know what love is, jiung".

if you're being completely honest, you have no idea why you're going to extreme lengths to defend yourself like this. zhong chenle is cute, easily aggravated, your actions piss him off insanely quickly, you can see why people would think you feel something for him, you enjoy admiring his face way too much, you zone out on his features way too much, others might get the wrong idea. "fuck you, anyway, there is no way he isn't in love with you".

"in love? are we in a romcom?"

jiung scoffs, and minjeong pinches the bridge of her nose. "are you stupid or do you just not want to admit it?"

"admit what?"

your feigned innocence gets a groan of unison out of your friends.

and maybe a certain zhong is just admiring you from afar..

IT'S NOT USUAL FOR ZHONG CHENLE TO WAKE UP EARLY, and six am is really a stretch he can't believe ended up happening. after minutes of tossing and turning, he screamed into his pillow and rose from his bed to begin his day. classes start in two hours, but he's not going to be able to get back to sleep. he makes sure he doesn't wake daegal, grabs a basketball, and leaves his dorm to make his way to the school gym. it's something he usually does when he finds himself sleepless, playing basketball can get his mind off of literally anything, so whenever he wakes up in the early hours of the morning and can't get back to sleep, he simply makes his way to the school gym to entertain himself for a few hours. it's usually always empty too, so he doesn't have to worry about being interrupted while he's cranky in the morning.

he hums to himself as he dribbles the ball down the hallway, basking in the silence of the air. sometimes people are too much, he can enjoy being alone on most occasions.

the cool air of the gym hits his face as he continues his dribbling, taking a shot and having it land perfectly in the basket. he whistles, proud, but not surprised. it isn't surprising how good he is anymore.

"nice shot".

the moment chenle hears the voice, he has to bite back his groan. you snicker at the expression you see blossom on his features, and chenle turns towards you, lips pressed together. "nice to know you're so happy to see me".

"it's beginning to get ridiculous how you are everywhere" chenle is quick to bite back, and you shake your head, a laugh threatening to escape your lips.

chenle can't even help his smile. oh fuck you. you're evil. you're the evilest being chenle has ever had to share a space with.

he doesn't want you to leave, though.

"are you saying i'm doing this on purpose?"

"exactly what i think" you laugh, fingers picking at the fabrics of your sweater, and chenle finds himself frowning.

"what are you doing up so early?" he inquires, cutting off your response with a question.

you feign thought, rolling your eyes. "i usually wake up early to stretch, maybe get in some practice, it's sort of like a built in alarm clock".

"you wake up at six in the morning every day?"

"it's torture" you reply, eyes glancing around the practically empty space you two stand in. "but i've gotten used to it, coach is always on my ass about it.."

"ohhh because your his star player?"

there's a hint of sarcasm in that question, and your brows furrow as you watch chenle distracts himself with his basketball. "he's just constantly like that".

"okay, so you aren't doing this on purpose?"

"even if i was, is there anything wrong with me wanting to see you?"

chenle pauses, blinking as he lets the words slowly settle into his brain. if he had absolutely no self control, he would've giggled out loud right in the very moment. why are you so.. you? it's absolutely ridiculous, actually, why do you say things like this? do you have no regard for chenle's heart? you have to know what you're saying.

"what? like you have a crush on me or something?"

"seems you want for that to be the case".

chenle opens his mouth to respond, but it closes the moment he sees your smile. he grits his teeth, it's sickening how easily he's about to fall. who allowed for you to have such a pretty smile? he finds himself grateful to even be witnessing such a thing.

he finds himself flustered at how speechless he is, and he sighs, ignoring his heated cheeks. "you and your weird fantasies".

"whatever you say zhong".

chenle groans, quickly wanting to change the topic. "you wanna play?"

you chuckle at the question, shaking your head almost immediately. "oh no i'm not good at basketball".

"it's not that hard, just dribble and shoot".

you seem to find that idea ridiculous, because you laugh again. "you're definitely going to kick my ass".

"maybe i want to do that" chenle smiles, and you narrow your eyes.

"okay, i see the game your playing".

chenle laughs, and you frown at the corresponding sound. "come on, just once? i'll return the favor, i'll fence with you!"

you seem puzzled by that one. "..do you want to?"

"it can't be that hard".

you bite back another laugh. "you know how to be convincing".

chenle raises an eyebrow. "is that a yes?"

you sigh, rolling your eyes. "fine yes, whatever".

"don't 'whatever' me".

you can barely resist your smile as you watch a hint of irritation settle in his eyes. "come on, let's play".

and maybe chenle smiles a little too wide at that, because he can't stop admiring your smile.

CHENLE TAPS HIS PEN AGAINST THE DESK, LISTENING TO the murmurs of the rest of the student body. it's easy to be quiet when in a room full of noisy, immature men. he barely even remembers where most of their conversations go, it's become much too easy to tune them out. beomgyu must have said something insane, because taeyang is giving him that incredulous glare he can only share with someone like beomgyu. god chenle misses hanbin, he's the only person who can contain such idiots (which is amusing, because all he has to do is clap and they all go silent). "who even agreed to that? did mr. jeong tell you anything?" chenle just barely fights his groan, of course they're arguing about this again. maybe he should just get up and scream, then they would all shut the fuck up.

"i already told you! nayeon said—"

"i didn't ask about nayeon, did i?"

beomgyu sucks his teeth, throwing his hands in the air. "see? this is why no one likes talking to you!"

"i'm just stating the obvious".

"you two have been at it for hours! please just let it go".

honda hitomi leans against her hand, just barely able to fight her own exhaustion. she's about to collapse onto the floor and not get up, but she keeps herself awake for the sake of her own sanity. "what did mr. jeong say about the end of the year fair we planned?"

chenle sighs. "he has not gotten back to me on that one".

"good god it's never going to happen at this point! can i just take down the posters?"

"don't lose hope so quickly!"

"at this rate hope no longer exists! we have to wait weeks for a response from the principal himself! aren't we supposed to be hosting all the cool student events?"

"yeah that's what we have chenle for".

chenle ignores the giggles that reply to those words, much too tired to even care anymore. "i need to make sure donghyuck doesn't traumatize daegal.. you guys have a good day" he grabs his stuff and scrunches his nose, almost unable to stand on his legs considering how long he'd been sat.

"why would you let donghyuck babysit daegal?"

"he's broke so i'm practically forcing him to" chenle swings his bag over his shoulder, smiling at the snickers he receives from his members. "i'll see you all tomorrow, and if any of you see hanbin tell him he better come up with a good excuse for being missing".

it's a threat that again has beomgyu throwing his arms up in the air, even if it wasn't directed towards him specifically. "will do boss!"

"don't call me that" chenle just barely misses the incoming whine choi beomgyu lets out when he finishes the response.

and then chenle exits the student body room, his shoulder slumping accompanied by a silent sigh. he just wants to get home without any distractions, no yelling, no stupid jokes that lead nowhere, no one to imply something idiotic that will make his eye twitch—

"chenle! hey!"

well of course that can't happen.

zhong chenle's life will never be peaceful, and that disturbance comes in the form of na jaemin, running towards him with that abhorrent smile on his face. chenle is already praying in his head, because he knows jaemin is just going to try something insane again. "amazing to see you jaemin".

the guy isn't even breathless, which chenle finds amusing considering he was totally bolting the whole way here. "did you hear?"

"what?"

jaemin looks disappointed, and he crosses his arms. "you didn't read the blog post? pretty much everyone has already".

chenle blinks, no longer interested in pretending to humor whatever it is jaemin is going to show him. "everyone?"

"mostly everyone, don't be surprised if gyu yells in your ears about it soon".

chenle scrunches his nose. sensing his complete obliviousness, jaemin sighs and pulls out his phone, giggling before even turning it on. "you and y/n are the school's couple of the month".

chenle's eye twitches.

"excuse me?"

jaemin nudges him, showing him the phone. chenle doesn't even have to read anything, all he has to do is look at the title.

[THE SCHOOLS FENCING STAR & SHOOTING GUARD ARE IN LOVE: BUT WE ALL KINDA KNEW THAT ALREADY..]

chenle sighs, of course lee heeseung wrote it. he rolls his eyes, massaging his temples. "tell me you don't believe this.."

jaemin giggles, turning his phone off. he laughs for a while, but pauses when he realizes chenle isn't laughing with him. "wait.. you two aren't dating?"

"no jaemin, we aren't".

the information flabbergasts him. "what do you mean you aren't!? i thought you two were doing like the secret thing.. the whole yeah were dating but like not publicly thing!"

chenle simply shrugs, turning on his heel and continuing his walk towards the exit. jaemin almost trips on his feet, following closely behind him. "how many times do i have to tell people this? there is nothing going on between y/n and i!"

"so then what were you two doing in the gym?"

chenle stops, glancing behind him to catch a look at jaemin's face. he narrows his eyes, scratching the fabric of his sweater. "talking, jaemin, like you usually do with people".

"six in the morning and you two are just talking?"

"you take everything out of proportion, i'm not sure you know what 'dating' looks like".

"well i know y/n, though, and i know his expressions, he stares at you with so much love it's sick!"

chenle can't even muster another eye roll, he simply keeps quiet at the words, turning around to look forward. "whatever.."

he stares down at the floor, not allowing for the words to get to his head. if he does than he'll begin thinking about you, and if he envisions your smile he won't be able to bite back his own.

IT'S FUNNY HOW QUICK GOSSIP CAN SPREAD, BECAUSE ALL chenle's been presented with in these past few weeks are rumors and mindless gossip. what kind of grip does lee heeseung have on everyone? how does his wannabe gossip blog really do all of this damage? he can't even begin speaking without someone asking if he's dating you. is this what being your boyfriend would be like? suddenly everyone is invested in his business and he can't even live in peace because everyone assumes you two are dating. he's let out enough sighs these past few weeks, he's beginning to get tired of everyone's constant muttering, he can't even talk without annoying himself, and he hasn't had an actual conversation with you in a good two weeks, which was totally unintentional at first, but it slowly became more.. voluntary.

you two don't talk much, simply give glances to each other in hallways. it's not that chenle is avoiding you! it's just that chenle is definitely avoiding you.

he just sort of needs space, for an unchecked amount of time.

you almost completely consume his mind, and because everyone thinks you two are dating, it's hard to not think about you. maybe it was difficult to get you out of his head before, but it is insanely difficult now. he doesn't escape jaemin's snickers, whispers, or even just mentions of your name, you're practically haunting him.

looking at your face ensures that chenle will probably collapse onto the floor.

so chenle's avoiding you for the peace of his mind. he makes excuses for why he doesn't want to see you every time, a tight lipped smile on his face whenever someone brings you up.

and of course, because of his avoidance, even more rumors swirl. something about you two getting into a random fight, a lovers quarrel the audience are calling it. how annoying.

but he can't avoid you forever, because you literally know everyone, including the people in his close knit friend group. so what is chenle supposed to say? it gets harder to come up with excuses for not wanting to be in the same room as you. jaemin keeps sending him weird looks, asking questions with his eyes, but chenle simply walks away.

you seem to want to talk to him, but you also seem to sense that he needs his space, because you don't just suddenly ambush him to ask why he's suddenly avoiding you like the plague (even if you do really want to).

and chenle keeps that track record pretty solid for a while, he dodges all of the questions, stares, you, it almost becomes easy after a while.

but it doesn't stay the same, because of course it doesn't, you always just.. appear.

"you sure you can make it? we don't wanna bother you if you can't".

mark is always so considerate, chenle doesn't know the last time he met a guy so nice. "yeah, yeah i'll be fine! just text me the time and i will be there".

"on time?"

chenle snaps his head towards donghyuck, glaring. the older simply giggles as the younger flips him off, and he scoffs. "yes on time donghyuck, fuck you".

"see you lele!"

chenle scrunches his nose at the nickname, he would flip donghyuck off again if not for wanting to keep his sanity in tact. he has to have some kind of limit, and when he hears yet another giggle spill from donghyuck's lips, he wishes he had acted on his intrusive thoughts.

chenle has a few hours considering they always like going out late (and they wonder why their always tired in the morning), he can binge all of how i met your mother for the seventieth time, and he can keep daegal company enough that she'll tire herself out.

chenle's hands stay shoved in his pockets, it isn't even that cold, he just has an emotional attachment to this sweater.

but then chenle stops, because he just walked the complete opposite direction of where he was supposed to go. he blinks, mentally cursing at himself.

"what an idiot you are zhong chenle".

"well that's rude to say to yourself".

chenle jumps, but he can't be startled for long, because it's you. after avoiding you for almost two weeks (seriously he was so close!), you had successfully cornered him.

well 'cornered' may not be the right term to use in the context, you smile, as if pleased to see him. "feels like i haven't been here in years.."

you glance around, feigning interest in your surroundings. chenle bites into his inner cheek, suddenly feeling the air become awkward. "did i do something wrong?" you inquire, seeming completely.. normal.

"no" chenle almost whispers, turning around as to not stare at you. he begins walking the right way this time, unconsciously inviting you to follow him, which you clearly sense with how you straighten up and begin walking beside him. "it's not you".

"so you're avoiding me for what reason?"

chenle shrugs, silence overtaking the air between you two. he listens to the small mutters of others as you two walk together, he can ignore it easily considering you're right beside him now, maybe it's because you overtake all of his thoughts. "i don't know.. everyone thinks were dating, it feels kind of weird".

"well i guessed that was the case".

chenle again goes silent, you are much calmer about this than he would've expected. it's just something he isn't used to seeing from you, he knows if he was getting avoided so clearly he probably would've blown up on the person, but that's just him. "aren't you mad?"

"not really, i can see where your coming from".

chenle hums, the air again becoming awkward. "i'm sorry" you don't look at him as he apologizes, but you smile anyway.

"it's alright, we technically aren't.. friends so i'm really not that offended".

chenle pauses, well he totally forgot that one. he's the one who said it himself. oh he is such a fucking idiot, but you don't say it to offend him, you simply state it as a fact. "still, i probably would've blown up on you if it was the other way around".

"oh trust me, other people have done way worse, a little ghosting is nothing".

that finally gets a smile out of chenle, and you seemed to miss that smile, because you mirror his expression. "i didn't mean to worry you, none of it is your fault".

"i wouldn't say i was worried, i was just confused, but you have your reasons".

chenle sighs, stopping as you hold the door for him. so you're basically just walking him back to his dorm now, no words even having to be exchanged. that's funny. he doesn't put all of his focus on that, though, you're directly in front of him right now, he should put all of his focus on that.

"so were good, right? no bad blood?"

chenle glances over at you. "there never was any bad blood, i just got into my own head".

"that's good, you still have to make good on that promise of fencing me".

chenle raises an eyebrow, suddenly feeling his cheeks dust red. "fencing and basketball are vastly different".

"obviously, but you kicked my ass so i should get to kick yours".

"it was a pretty close game, ten to six".

"my point still stands".

chenle hums, just barely biting back his laugh. "okay fine, we'll fence, just go easy on me".

"aww, but then it won't be fun!"

chenle childishly sticks his tongue out at you, immediately met with an offended stare. still, you laugh, giggle even. chenle finds it funny how easily he can make you laugh.

"either that or we won't".

"fine then".

your smile indicates to chenle that you definitely don't plan on completely fulfilling that.

you raise your hands up in mock surrender, and chenle simply shakes his head, completely done with you. he stops in front of his door, rummaging through his pockets looking for his keys.

"thanks for walking me" he says, quite literally unable to shake off the weird feeling in his stomach. "even though you kind of just followed me here.."

"we were talking, i didn't know how to just leave".

i didn't want for you to leave anyway.

but chenle doesn't say that one, simply smiles again. "it's fine, thank you again".

"so what are we exactly?"

chenle blinks, just about to open his door when you ask that question. he thinks about it, thoughts chugging like a train.

"mortal enemies".

you snicker, looking down at the floor. "oh".

chenle hums, hand resting on his doorknob. "yeah, have a good day y/n".

"you too chenle".

CHENLE DIDN'T UNDERESTIMATE YOU WHEN HE CHALLENGED you to a fencing match. you've been a fencer as long as you could stand on your two feet, you mentioned in passing once that you'd been fencing since elementary school, introduced to the sport by your father. chenle doesn't know anything about fencing, he's watched one competition and can barely recollect the memories of what went on because it was at that competition that he met you. it's hard to focus on anything when your around, especially the match he literally challenged you to. he wasn't exactly thinking when he brought it up, just really wanting for you to play basketball with him. he stumbles back, tripping on his own feet and falling back onto the floor.

"wow i suck at this" chenle mutters, back resting against the mat on the ground.

your distinct chuckle meets his ears, and chenle lets out a sigh. "well i didn't say it.."

"oh fuck you, your the fencing expert".

"that's what you get when you compete with an actual fencer" you respond, chenle rests the épée beside his laying figure. "you didn't go down without a fight though, four points!"

"four points to twelve points, you think that's a worthy competition?"

"it's impressive for someone whose fencing for the first time ever right now" you remove your fencing mask properly, getting a good look at him on the floor. "i'm sure you could take jiung in a match".

"oh don't mention your teammates, i can't handle any of this, how do you do it?"

you whistle, dropping the épée onto the floor and extending your hand towards chenle. he takes it, feeling a pain spike as he stands on his two legs. "you liar, you said you were gonna go easy".

you simply smile, feigned innocence behind that wretched sight ('wretched' is the wrong word to describe it, chenle absolutely loves your smile).

"that was me going easy" you reply, squeezing his hand against yours.

that's when chenle is brought back to reality. holy shit you two are holding hands. he stares at the spectacle, blinking dumbly as you again snicker at your own words. he pulls his hand away quickly, ignoring the excessive heat of his face.

"oh then i really suck".

"your better than most people".

chenle hums, being better than most people doesn't really mean anything when going against you. "stop frowning, you did well".

chenle is definitely not frowning, he's not! how would you even know that? "well doesn't mean much in these books".

you shake your head, and chenle doesn't frown (but his lips turn downward). he picks the épée up from the floor, twirling it around. "can't just say i'm not good at this?"

"the reason you aren't good at this is because of your handiwork" you quickly respond, stepping closer to him and wrapping your fingers around chenle's wrist. "you have to angle your hand at ninety degrees, it has to be parallel to your foot.."

chenle blinks as you begin explaining the ways for him to improve his fencing. your rambling, very interested in actually helping him instead of just beating him at your own game again. chenle is quite literally on the verge of a heart attack, everything you're saying has blurred into the background as you get closer, the heat in the room steadily rising.

you continue talking, angling chenle's arm forward and pointing the sword straight. chenle cannot focus on what you're saying because you are so.. beautiful? you look so good in this lighting, it has to be criminal. you unconsciously get up in his personal space and chenle's breath hitches, but you don't notice.

"—and when you lunge your other hand should go down to balance your body weight" you mutter, smile on your face as you glance at chenle, who looks midway through a disassociating scene.

"hey, are you even listening to anything i'm saying?" you nudge chenle with your shoulder. chenle snaps out of his little episode and blinks, leaning away from you as he sees how close you are.

"oh.. uh— well".

you sigh, letting go of chenle's wrist and watching it lean down in just the slightest. "nuh uh, keep it up, ninety degrees".

chenle scoffs, but you raise an eyebrow, and he pauses. who knew you could be like that? chenle is just a little afraid seeing you serious. "you really don't have to help me".

"it's out of courtesy".

chenle narrows his eyes, and you whistle again, removing the fencing gear your wearing. "you aren't going against me again are you?"

"absolutely not" chenle shakes his head, another heavy breath leaving his lips. "you're brutal, i can't keep up".

"i'm sure you could".

"you have too much faith in me".

you hum, slipping your sweater back on and shoving your hands into your pockets. chenle again sighs, walking past you. "you could've at least tried to get eight points on me".

"the only way i'd get eight points on you is if you gave them to me" chenle replies, and you hold the door open for him again, watching as he narrows his eyes at you. "and you'd never let me".

"it's good to be competitive".

"at least you said something true".

you two must have a thing for unconsciously walking together now, much too distracted in conversation to even catch the looks your being given.

"i see you guys have made up!"

you pause, smiling at the sight of your longtime friend, and chenle sighs at the sight of jaemin. "why are you so sad?"

"jaemin brings chaos into my life".

jaemin scrunches his nose, offended. "don't be so quick to say that, i brought y/n into your life!"

"exactly".

now it's your turn to be offended, a gasp drawing from you. "wow i see how it is, chenle, maybe you should just go back to ignoring me then".

"you're so petty".

"oh and you aren't? that is completely unfair!"

jaemin glances between the two of you as you begin your mini argument, the bickering between you two surprisingly entertaining him.

what an interesting lovers quarrel.  

"DON'T BE BORING! LET'S GO TO JINYOUNG'S PARTY!" JAEMIN shouted in his ear as he saw chenle trying his best to drift off to sleep. the younger was very much not on board, he wanted to sleep, he wanted to rest, maybe have a romantic dream about you or whatever. it's not like he had a load of work dumped on him tonight, he just didn't want to go out on his fine evening, and he also doesn't know jinyoung that well. he's not the extent of social butterfly jaemin is, he's sort of afraid of being that awkward friend who just follows his much more known friend around. he just knows jaemin is going to ditch him the moment he finds a cute guy to make out with, and that isn't his ideal kind of night. it didn't matter what he said though, jaemin had somehow convinced him to not sleep in his bed all night.

"this room reeks of drunk breath".

"don't be boring, chenle!" that must be jaemin's only response, because he smiles when chenle frowns. "have some fun" he pushes at his shoulder, but chenle simply sighs.

"i can't wake up with a hangover tomorrow.."

"just a little?"

jaemin puts his best puppy dog eyes on display, pouting with his hands clasped together. chenle immediately leans back against the wall, put off by whatever.. this is. he points, pressing his index finger against jaemin's chest. "if you get wasted i'm leaving you".

"that isn't a threat".

yeah, it really isn't, jeno is jaemin's ride or die, he'd carry the guy up the stairs while he was hanging off his shoulder for pete's sake.

so when jaemin does eventually get wasted, chenle isn't even that surprised when jeno shows up to follow him around and make sure he doesn't kill himself.

jinyoung is nice, a little erratic, chenle finds it amusing how easily he gets offended at heeseung's jokes. he almost socked the guy in the face, but then they looked at each other and began laughing loudly about it, they're much too gone to even realize they're being stupid.

chenle could barely take one sip of those drinks without grimacing, he can't even get tipsy, he might fall over from the taste alone, he isn't going to risk it.

he can't stand being alone for long, though, because he finds himself at beomgyu's side, listening to the choi talk his ear off. he doesn't know many of beomgyu's friends, he's met taehyun once, courtesy of jisung surprisingly, but the other guys are practically ghosts to him. one of them really likes bread though, he's never seen a guy so passionate about wheat.

"i can't believe you think strawberry ice cream is good! it's terrible!"

"it's not! you're a pussy! no wonder you can't eat fruit!"

maybe beomgyu and this bread obsessed guy have arguments like this often, because the words sound so practiced chenle assumes they must rehearse this argument for every time they drink. beomgyu huffs, crossing his arms, and he snaps his head over to chenle. "tell soobin he's wrong".

"is that his name?" when he asks that, soobin waves from behind beomgyu, a wide smile displayed on his face. "i have no say here".

beomgyu pouts. "even outside of school you're boring".

"you're arguing about strawberries!"

and just when chenle is about to join the argument about the ethics of strawberry ice cream, he hears something.

"boo!"

chenle almost jumps out of his seat, startled by the sudden sound. he grits his teeth once he's met with your smiling face, and you giggle, your breath reeking of the disgusting alcohol. "oh hello you".

"hiiiiii did you miss me?" you ask, hands clasped together as you try your best to sit, tripping on your feet. you hiccup; "cause i definitely missed you—" a poke to his cheek, another giggle leaves your lips. "—i can't believe you're reeeeal" your words slur and syllables stick together, you clearly aren't in the right mind at the current moment.

you lean half your body weight against chenle, laughing at something you say in your own head (at least that's what chenle assumes is happening, you're simply laughing for no reason). "did you miss me too?"

you jut out your bottom lip, chenle has to turn his head to stare at you. your cheeks are flushed, eyes are wide, and you have a permanent smile on your face. "it's debatable".

"you take that back!"

chenle can just barely stifle his laugh, you're absolutely ridiculous. you pout again, brain fuzzy. "don't laugh at me.."

"how much have you had to drink?" chenle asks, a finger in your hair. the strands are soft, just like he predicted.

"uhhh nothing really like um.. uh— four?" you hold up four fingers, then burst into laughter at the sight of your own hand.

oh. so you're that drunk, you giggle again, a snort following that sound. your head rests onto chenle's shoulders, and you shake as you giggle.

"four drinks? already".

you hiccup again. "jinyoung said.. um, i actually forgot what he said, but he promised me something! i like promises!"

you snap your fingers, leaning back in your seat and almost falling backwards in the process.

chenle watches, listening to the continuous drunk chatter of beomgyu and soobin. he then sighs, tired. "y/n, come on".

you crack open one eye. "whaaaaat? you don't wanna dance?"

"i think you've had enough, let's not dance right now".

"but we have to" your lips turn downward into a frown, visible sadness in your eyes.

"we can dance at another time".

"oh really?" your eyes shine, as if you're already awaiting the moment you two will dance.

"yeah, let me take you home before you end up passing out on the floor".

chenle wraps an arm around your waist, and you wrap an arm around his, but he's basically carrying you around.

"jaem" chenle calls out, grunting as he lifts you from your place. when jaemin turns around, he looks fine, not like what chenle expected. he's met with an immediate eyebrow raise, as expected of jaemin. "i'm taking y/n home.."

"youuu just wanna see my bedroom" you slur, poking chenle again as you practically fall onto him, no longer controlling any of your movements. "hiiiii jaemin!"

"okay, i see" jaemin looks you two up down, and you're still waving while he judges you. "have fun".

"don't start".

at the sight of chenle's piercing glare, jaemin puts his hands up in surrender. "okay, make sure he doesn't die".

"he might end up killing himself anyway.." chenle mutters under his breath, again lifting you up as he sighs.

"byeeeee jaemin! i love you!"

chenle scrunches his nose, and you continue to wave even when jaemin disappears from view. you lean onto him again, noticing his silence. "don't be mad, i love you too".

he glances. "not mad".

you giggle again, wasted beyond words. "no need to lie to me, you're so obvious".

chenle's cheeks flare up at that. alright you fucking psychic.

WHEN YOU TWO MAKE IT BACK TO YOUR DORM, you collapse onto your couch, bringing your knees to your chest. you weren't as talkative on the way back as chenle thought you would be, the moment you two left jinyoung's door, you simply went silent, the many drinks probably went to your head, you must be exhausted, and for the first time in forever, you two don't really bicker. you simply walk along with him in silence, so there are no words exchanged between you two. when you collapse onto your couch, chenle can just barely keep in his laugh. you let out a heavy breath, groaning. "i hate parties.." you mutter against your cushion, scratching at the fabric of the cushion. chenle turns to stare at you, and you let out a groan of pain(?).

"no you don't".

"no i don't".

you stretch your limbs, then hug your knees against your chest. "chenle?" you call out, eyes closed, and arms circled around yourself.

your voice is barely audible, he doesn't think he's heard you be so silent ever. he hums as his response, and you take in a deep breath before asking yet another question. "can you get me a blanket from my room? it's always cold in here.."

chenle nods even though you can't see. "okay, and which door is yours?" he's afraid of accidentally walking into the wrong room, he's heard your roommate isn't exactly the easiest to get on good terms with.

"the one at the far end of the hall" you stretch the final letter of the word 'hall', your sighs endless.

chenle mutters a small response and turns on his heel to make his way towards your room. he hears you let out another sigh, your fatigue following closely behind him as he opens the door.

when he does enter, instead of immediately doing what you asked, he allows for himself to get engrossed in the scenery of your room. the posters which litter the walls, your many fencing awards, medals, trophies, certificates. the photos on your shelves containing some familiar faces, there's one with you and jaemin that chenle can only assume was from way before university.

oh, so they do go that far back.

your room is adorable, it isn't exactly big, but you mastered how to make due with the space you were given. he glances at your bed, and he grabs a good enough blanket, heading back to the living room.

"you're a blessing zhong chenle" you say when he lays the blanket over you, watching as you let your body relax.

chenle stares, simply watching the way you shuffle against your couch. "it's really no problem, sleep well".

"what?"

chenle snaps his head towards you. "sleep well y/n, i'm leaving".

"you can't leave!" you open your eyes, staring at him incredulously. "what happens if i get attacked while you're gone!?"

chenle deadpans, you cannot be serious right now. "you're not getting attacked while i'm gone, y/n, that makes no sense".

you cross your arms, clearly not as completely sober as chenle thought you were. "i need for someone to stick by me, just until wonjin comes back!"

wonjin. oh, that must be your roommate. "and when is he gonna come back exactly?"

"i don't know" you put your own hand on your forehead, wincing at the heat that you feel. "he's a wild card.. kind of".

chenle sighs, of course you're starting with something again. "i can't stay y/n, i really have to get home".

no. he doesn't. he doesn't have to get home. the only real reason would be daegal, who his brother graciously stole for the weekend. he doesn't live with anyone else, so he isn't exactly going home to anyone. he doesn't know why he said that, he just lied to lie.

"no you don't".

you're correct, but chenle wants to remain stubborn. he sucks his teeth, irritated at the pure truth. "just for a few minutes?" you ask, putting on pleading eyes as you stare at the other standing at the arm of the couch. "please? you don't have to stay for long, just until i sleep".

now how can chenle deny that? he can pretend he isn't in love with you while others are around, he can act like the flirting doesn't affect him in the hallways, he can act like nothing's there in the bright light of the day, but now? now? while you're staring at him with pleading eyes? how could he ever deny you?

"i— fine.." chenle sighs, hands dropping at his sides as he steps closer, sitting down beside you on the couch. he doesn't lie down just yet, he isn't that tired. "now will you sleep?"

you nod quickly. "much better, good night".

you rest your head against your couch, snuggling against the blanket as your hand reaches over to take chenle's, intertwining your fingers together. "thanks for staying with me.. you're a good friend".

chenle keeps silent, but you still aren't asleep, because you snort in response to your own words. "sorry, enemy, we're enemies".

chenle gives a chuckle in response. "yep, mortal enemies".

you give a dismissive wave with your free hand, laughing again. "okay okay, i love you, good night" you let your hand drop and keep your eyes closed as you slowly begin drifting off into a slumber.

chenle again pauses.

you what?

his cheeks flare up, just the small confession distracting him enough, your thumb caresses the back of his palm, and the touch amplifies the red of his cheeks.

you love him.

well that's nice.

THE SUNLIGHT PEAKING IN THROUGH THE NEARBY window earns a small wince from chenle, eyes begging to remain shut as the light shines against his eyelids. he shuffles— or, he tries his best to shuffle with the lack of space he's in, a small groan escaping his lips as he tries to wake himself. he goes through an inward battle of trying to adjust his eyesight whilst also attempting to avoid the direct light of the sun, taking a few moments of squinting until he can finally open his eyes, adjusting to his surroundings as he begins to fight the fatigue in his body. oh he is such a fucking liar. he agreed to just a few minutes right beside you, and he fell asleep, right beside you. he woke up before you, and your soft snores become all he hears in the room. "oh my god" chenle massages his own temples, cursing under his breath.

you're still asleep, just barely awaken from your seemingly good dreams as chenle takes in a deep breath, rubbing the exhaustion from his eyes with one hand.

he stares down at your sleeping figure, your hair too messy, cheeks rosy red, and your other hand still holding his, squeezing. he snickers silently, and you must not have been that deep asleep, because you shuffle against your couch.

chenle lets go of your hand to rummage for his phone, and you let out a small sound of defiance as you feel his fingers slip from yours.

he almost laughs again, watching the way your eyebrows furrow. 09:14 am. wow, he doesn't remember the last time he slept that long.

"good morning.." you mutter, though you keep your eyes closed. chenle narrows his own eyes, amused by the sight. you feel around until you grab his hand again, intertwining your fingers. "i'm tired".

"yeah?"

"..and it all hurts".

chenle sighs, unable to get away from your hand squeezing his. "you have ibuprofen or something?"

"i just need to.." you pause, finally getting up, somehow without letting go of chenle's hand. "like walk around for some hours" you wave your free hand dismissively, and when chenle sends you a look, you clear your throat. "sometimes i can just walk in circles and get rid of a hangover".

chenle scrunches his nose, and you laugh at the face he gives you. "i'm not sure why it works that way either, it just does".

"you're a strange guy".

you hum, running a hand through your tousled hair. you two stay silent for a moment, staring at each other. "so you stayed over, huh?"

chenle again scrunches his nose, his cheeks flaring up. "i didn't mean to fall asleep.." he mutters, stubbornness immediately on display. "i was tired".

"aww, you didn't stay for me?"

"don't make me vomit, y/n".

you stick out your tongue, jumping off the couch and dusting off your clothes. "you gonna stay around or would you like for me to walk you out?"

"let me settle into the morning air first.."

"okay weirdo".

chenle almost scoffs, there's no way you're calling him weird, you're as weird as jaemin. maybe that's why, weird people can't grasp their own weirdness, they see it all as completely normal.

"you don't have a shitty hangover do you?"

you shake the bottle of ibuprofen then grab a bottle of water, taking the medication as if simply programmed to do it. you narrow your eyes, picking up on chenle's staring problem. "you stare a lot, huh?"

chenle snaps out of his dissociative state, realizing you asked him a question. "oh no i'm fine, i didn't even try to drink that shitty alcohol".

you snicker, putting the medication away and walking towards the bathroom. "you're simply a little too uptight".

"uptight? how did anyone drink that?"

you shrug from where you are, your voice echoing from the bathroom. "jinyoung is pretty convincing" chenle hears the sink water start running, assuming that you're brushing your teeth.

"not enough for terrible drinks".

chenle rises from his place, trudging behind you towards the bathroom. he stands in the doorway and watches you, he doesn't know why he's so interested in watching you do even the simplest of things, there's simply something about you that makes the simplest of tasks so compelling to watch.

you again catch his eyes, spitting out your toothpaste. "you definitely have a staring problem".

chenle sighs, how is he even supposed to argue with that? he is quite literally proving to you that he has a staring problem.

he doesn't really have one, though, it's just with you that he can't help but stare.

he can't exactly respond to that one, and a smirk shows on your lips, you've rendered him speechless. "oh.. am i right?"

chenle's scoff is stubborn, his arms folding over his chest, there's tease in your voice that makes red spread across his cheeks. "you aren't, i just constantly need to be around someone.."

what a reasonable lie that you clearly buy! you simply roll your eyes in response, he really just lies like it's nothing. you clasp your hands behind your back, lips turning up. "why do you lie to me so much? do i make you nervous or something?"

and it's not like you step closer, you simply stand there with your hands behind your back, a tormenting smile playing on your lips. you aren't doing anything, but chenle's legs feel weak, you're simply standing and smiling, it's nothing crazy, but you are crazy, what gives you the right to stand and smile like that at chenle?

"don't flatter yourself".

you raise an eyebrow, smile permanent. god you look so kissable right now, maybe chenle should give into his desires and lean in.

but he doesn't, he simply scowls, feigning irritation at your lack of action. "sorry, forgot we're mortal enemies and all".

you whistle, hands shoving into your pockets and walking past chenle. "you want me to walk you out now?"

chenle turns as your shoulder brushes against his, following behind you to the door. "you don't have to".

you open your front door, motioning with your head. "i technically already did!" oh so you're trying to be a smart ass, how funny. chenle's face falls, and your lips turn up as his turn down.

"you're so annoying".

"i'm simply here to entertain" you sing, gently pushing chenle out of your dorm. "have a good day enemy!"

and chenle would've flipped you off if he wasn't distracted by your smile.

CHENLE LETS HIS STUBBORNNESS CARRY THROUGHOUT the week, even while you two see each other, occasionally talking, occasionally staring longingly (that's more on chenle's part, you have such intriguing facial features, and not in a creepy way). he definitely does not have dreams about kissing you, about going on dates, or even about you two being a real couple, that would be ridiculous, zhong chenle does not have a crush, and he especially does not have a crush on you. yes the evidence looks pretty undeniable, his stares linger too much, his eyes linger too much, especially on your lips, he practically itches to hold your hand when you two are in public, the whole "mortal enemies" thing becoming an inside joke for you two. you seem perpetually oblivious to chenle's stares, or maybe you're just acting, it's getting a bit difficult to tell.

the rise in romantic tension doesn't help the rumors that were already up in the air, because the more chenle stares at you like he wants to eat you (in very figurative and literal ways), the more people just make assumptions about what exactly is going on between you two.

to be fair, they die down in whispers, but not in speculation. chenle can't even glance at you without another post popping up on heeseung's (frankly terrible) gossip blog about how he's obsessed.

and maybe there's some truth there (but chenle would never admit that, he can't give lee heeseung credence, he actually likes himself), but no one should ever know that, and hopefully you don't, he knows you don't read all the shit online. you do enjoy completely irritating chenle, though, he doesn't remember the last day he had that wasn't fueled by your annoying rants.

now, it's become mundane for you to be everywhere, and though it's never uttered, chenle really doesn't mind. he finds your presence to be enjoying, you entertain him like no other.

so no matter how much he tries to feign stubbornness, he loves your company. it's amazing how someone so annoying could also be someone so entertaining, and so.. well— beautiful too.

it's strange how easily you two fall into a rhythm of just existing together. chenle feels as if his life would be stranger if you weren't showing up abruptly for another strange conversation to follow.

it does become friendship, yes, but you two never say it. there's a peculiar romantic line there that you guys never bring up, there are too many almost kissing moments that never actually amount to kissing. chenle thinks you must be playing with him, psychologically torturing him. you fucking know, he can see it in your stupid smile.

but he doesn't say anything, not wanting to think he's getting it all wrong. if there's something chenle has learned about you, it's that you're unpredictable, and seeing as how you usually act with your other friends, being super affectionate is naturally your thing.

chenle doesn't want to seem stupid, it would be so embarrassing if the feelings he's spent a good few months trying to ignore turned out to be unrequited.

"is this your idea of a dat— oh my god you have a puppy!?"

your voice pitches up as you catch sight of daegal, cooing at the puppy who barked as she saw you enter. chenle glances at you, your eyes practically shining as you stare at his dog. he barely bites back his smile. "this is daegal, she's my daughter".

you kneel down to get a closer look at the adorable puppy, lips jutted into a pout. "hi daegal! how are you?"

though she's a little hostile at first, she takes one step forward, and you ruffle her hair, earning an excited yelp. you look like your about to burst into tears with how adorable she is, and you cast your eyes at chenle. "she's so cute chenle.."

"are you gonna cry?"

you shake your head, but chenle still isn't convinced. "i love her, i should come here more often!" daegal makes a sound you take as agreement, and you gasp again.

"oh wow, you're already replacing me with my dog?"

"absolutely" daegal jumps into your arm, and you melt into the feeling. you close your eyes, basking in the air of chenle's dormitory. "she likes me more than you do".

chenle narrows his eyes, but he can't even pretend to be pissed, because you simply look so ecstatic, how could he even be mad?

"okay baby, come here" he doesn't even have to move his hand, but daegal leaps out of your arms to circle around chenle. "you can't just steal y/n from me" he teases, carrying her in his arms as he makes his way over to his room.

he hears your overdramatic gasp in the distance, the words certainly surprising. "did i just hear what i think i heard!?"

you're practically hopping as you follow behind chenle towards his room, barely able to contain your own excitement. "oh my god you like me!"

chenle snaps his head towards you, a piercing (yet faked) glare in his eyes. "no dummy, were mortal enemies".

"i heard that~" you sing, turning on your heel to glance around chenle's room. "you just always have that large stephen curry poster on your wall?"

"he's my idol" chenle places daegal on his bed, she immediately curls up beside one of his pillows and settles, relaxing.

"seems like an obsession".

"you don't get stephen curry like i do".

you stare incredulously, a small smile on your face. you place your chin onto chenle's shoulder, watching his once serene expression become one of irritation, his eye twitching. "maybe not, but i definitely get you now".

chenle raises an eyebrow, silently questioning those words in the reflection of his mirror. he blinks, almost afraid to catch your eyes, but he already has, he's staring at your spitting image right now.

you peel yourself on him, a dramatic sigh falling from your lips as you stare, hands on your hips. "how long have you had a crush on me?"

chenle narrows his eyes. "excuse me?"

"come on! give me an honest answer! i won't laugh, i like you too you know, it's honestly kind of cute—"

"y/n".

you pause, chenle knew you were about to begin a ramble, so you shut up, angering him not really being on your list of things to do. you give him the stage to speak his mind, and he deadpans at you. "you are so annoying".

"does that mean you do have a crush on me?"

he stares, fighting the smile that threatens to break on his face. "you are so annoying, it's stupid how i have a crush on you, it's so dumb! you're so annoying but it's also what makes you endearing, and charming, and cute and fuck you!"

and maybe chenle does spit such hurtful words, but he doesn't mean them. his face is unbearably red, cheeks heated to the max, it's embarrassing that he's admitting this to you, now all he has left to do is kill himself and change the trajectory of your life forever.

you stare for a moment, and then you begin laughing, small giggles falling from your lips in such a rapid pace chenle is afraid you'll die.

"you always tell people you like them by shouting?"

"you're so annoying".

"is that your way of saying you love me?" you ask, stepping closer with your hands clasped together. "maybe we should talk about it".

"do you want me to die..?" he mutters, face still incredibly hot. he glares again, but he can't even keep his composure. "i'll take back that confession".

"aww, i like it when you yell at me though".

chenle shoves you backward, yet he smiles anyway. you're so annoying, but maybe there's allurement sprinkled in that he can't exactly ignore. "i fucking hate you.." he mumbles.

you again stare, simply pure adoration in your eyes. you again step closer, fingers grazing his jaw in gentle swipes along the edges. you pause, uncharacteristically silent. "can i kiss you?"

chenle stops. oh! well he didn't expect for this to happen now. he looks up, staring for much too long, thinking for much too long. "i— um, yeah.. yes".

the response fizzles into the air, overtaken by the influx of your cherry flavored chapstick, his bottom lip caught between your teeth as your finger draw shapes into his hip. chenle didn't guess this one, maybe it's because he always bites first, but then again, unpredictability is a thing with you.

your teeth scrape against the plush, pink skin, not rough enough to draw blood, you have courtesy. the action produces just the slightest hint of a whimper from chenle, what a fuel to your ego.

when you two pull away for air, chenle's first move is to avoid eye contact. you giggle at the sight of his cherry red cheeks, your fingers still graze his jaw, slowly turning his head in your direction. "hi".

maybe chenle's smile is too wide, but he's done giving a fuck. he begins fiddling with the zipper of your sweater, trying to distract himself. you again laugh, seemingly amused by his actions. "let's not do this before i take you on a date" you whisper, implications high in the air.

chenle's cheeks again flare up, and much too easily as well. "you think i wanna sleep with you right after we just kissed?"

"people are strange.. and you are people".

"you think i'm moving too quick" chenle pokes your cheek, resisting the urge to place a kiss onto it, maybe not now. you hum happily, intertwining your fingers.

"i didn't say it, let me treat you before sex".

the words are much too honest, but chenle loves honest. it's so stupid, you're so stupid. "what makes you think we're having sex?"

"oh just wait".

chenle frowns, eyebrows furrowing. "that sounds like a threat" he states, scratching behind his ear.

you whistle again, hands behind your back as you laugh. "you've definitely said worse, i'll treat you well".

you hold your hand out again, and chenle takes it without any hesitation, basking in the feeling of your soft hands on his own. "okay, i'm holding you to that, if you fail i'll hang your head on my wall".

you snicker, nudging him. "see? you are worse! it's obvious!"

chenle scowls, but it's so lighthearted that he can't even call it a scoff anymore. "you're so annoying".

you tug at his hand, a small act of defiance. "thank you, enemy".

your fingers slip from chenle's, and he can't fight his smile. you're so annoying, yes, but you're also so pretty.

"CAN YOU STOP LOOKING AT ME LIKE YOU WANT to kill me?" if chenle thinks about it, you really are jaemin's twin. jaemin's stare is reminiscent of the ones you share with chenle whenever he glares, arms crossed, nose scrunched. jaemin's lips turn downward into a frown, a frown that directly copies yours, wow, you two are simply carbon copies of each other, no wonder you're such good friends. chenle finds it weird that almost anything can remind him of you now, considering you two have only been dating for two weeks (where did all the time go?), his terrible staring problem hasn't gotten any better anyway, he can stare at you with free reign whenever he wants to. it's too hard to be stubborn when he's so obvious, especially because you could just raise an eyebrow and he'd crumble (only a little though, not all the way).

"how else am i supposed to stare at you?" chenle's eyes hold a certain distaste, and jaemin lets out a loud, overdramatic sigh. "do you always have to ask me stupid questions?"

his hands fall at his sides, an action that chenle judges in it's entirety. "jeno would treat me better than this.."

"go sit with him then".

chenle doesn't have to tell him twice, he stomps his feet like a baby and trudges towards where jeno sits. he can barely stifle his laughter, something about jaemin's stupid way of responding to things is amusing.

chenle might just leave right now, it's not like this is one of the games that one of jaemin's random friends is playing at, this is simply a random volleyball game for a team he doesn't really care about (with no offense to the players).

his hands scratch at the fabric of his pants, he's only here because he decided to give into jaemin's incessant begging. oh screw na jaemin.

"this fucking sucks.."

"is this becoming your thing?"

chenle startles, jumping from his spot with a small squeak. he then relaxes when he sees you, a glare settling in his eyes. "you need to stop doing that" he responds, and you snicker, completely amused. "i didn't think you were coming".

"i was looking for you" you whisper, hands behind your back. "since when is jaemin so convincing to you?"

"he isn't, he's just annoying".

"wonder where i've heard that before" you feign thought, tapping your finger onto your chin. your lips turn up as you catch chenle roll his eyes, he's simply so easy to irritate. "you're so mean to me".

"that's my job".

you gasp, hand placing itself over your heart. "you just stole my cue".

i've unconsciously begun taking up some of your habits too, what the fuck is up with that?

the words aren't said, though. chenle simply reaches over and takes your hand, deciding to not say the obvious. you stare for a moment, then your lips turn up in their usual manner.

"that happens when i spend so much time around you" he tugs you forward by your hand, practically pressing you against him. "i'm picking up your annoying habits".

"is annoying your favorite word?"

"annoying is what you are".

you narrow your eyes, swinging your laced hands back and forth. "but you love me" you sing, much too enamored to even be bothered by his insults.

chenle scoffs, but he doesn't deny, simply squeezes your hand. it's difficult to care about anyone else when you're right here, even the people who send you weird looks (which is strange considering everyone already thought you were dating before you actually were, why is it weird that you two are holding hands?).

he shakes his head. "absolutely not".

you frown, that sick, sad frown that is just much too convincing. there's no reason for you to look so sad so flawlessly, chenle wants to punch you in the face. it's how he'll show his love for you.

the game won't start for a long time, he probably would've died of boredom if you hadn't shown up. "hey you wanna go?"

chenle glances at you. "go where?"

"literally anywhere but here" you state, nudging him with your shoulder. "i won't bore you much, i swear".

chenle sighs, he has no argument for that, he would rather be anywhere but here. "if jaemin texts you, don't answer".

you snicker at that, looking down at the ground. "he's going to think you killed me or something" you mutter, just lightly shuddering at the cold air that hits you both as you exit through the door.

"maybe i will" he responds, his rings would usually clash against your hand if not for the feeling being so mundane. "i have to rip you away from daegal, she's getting too used to you".

"is threatening to kill me your way of showing love?"

chenle stares for a moment, simply basking in everything. your intertwined fingers, the cool evening air, the comfort of it all, maybe chenle isn't exactly all that mad at jaemin, you're right here beside him, talking your ass off, and he laughs, it's all so funny. "sometimes you piss me off".

"i'm hoping you said that with love".

it's gotten much too difficult to successfully act serious around you, you're too funny. "of course i did, stupid".

you raise an eyebrow, an action that makes chenle sigh. you have to know that's his weakness, it's much too easy to get him. "say it, please?"

chenle cannot believe the audacity you have. you greatly piss him off, you bat your eyelashes as you patiently wait for him to confess his love to you.

chenle lets out a loud, exasperated breath. you're so annoying.

"i love you".

your face lights up, cheeks flaring at the confession. you press a kiss to chenle's cheek, enamored.

"i love you too".

[wonwoosthetic]

Hi there! Hope you are doing well! thanks for responding to my ask, I totally don't expect you to respond immediately. I really enjoyed the latest fan videos and social media posts you've uploaded!!! I'd also love a Minnie-Dino video! She'd be so supportive of his mixtape <3 All those variety shows you listed would be fun, also seeing how she and BM can bond over being in co-ed groups would be interesting. I wish Jessi's showterview was still a thing. Maybe Somi's yes or hot? --boo's pld anon

series masterlist

word count – 15k

a/n: I had troubles with the tags, but I think this will show up… let’s hope so🥲 thank you babes for your opinion and help! I decided to start with the minnie x dino fan video since I’ve also gotten private requests on my google form for a chapter like this so a big thank you to everyone you has sent in ideas for this through my form ˙ᵕ˙ Minnie and BM would be PURE chaos as well and I can’t wait to write something about them hahaha I thought maybe about doing a past Jessie‘s showterview kind of chapter bc I just love those videos so much, she’s so unhinged😭 but yes! Somi‘s yes or hot could also be an idea, I’ve only ever seen clips from her with hyuna, but I loved it hahah🩷 anyways, I hope you and everyone else enjoys this chapter, thank you as always and please stay happy and healthy🫶🏼

minnie and dino: the adorable noona-dongsaeng duo of seventeen

[welcome, welcome]

[this video will for one, warm your heart]

[and two, tear you to shreds when you remember that you neither have a minnie or a dino in your life]

[have fun]

[GOING SEVENTEEN] EP. 36 SVTSIDE OUT

[when I tell you, this woman would literally defend this man with HER LIFE]

[i mean it]

The mood was abruptly changed to 'anger', already calling out for chaos as Minghao was just passing around the bottles of different drinks he had brought for the group. Speaking normally was unknown to the members from that moment on. They only knew how to converse in shouting.

Hoshi had come up to the '97 Liner, ordering him to go back again and get more drinks.

[the entire episode was so chaotic, good god]

He got on his way but stopped a few feet away from the rest of the group to ask for specific wishes as to what drinks the members would want. When Dino offered to come along and help him, Hao shouted at him.

"Sit!"

[everything about this scene was so freaking funny]

[i literally almost peed my pants]

[#tmi]

Getting an immediate response from the maknae in doing exactly that. The girl next to him chuckled, hiding her grin behind her hand as she tried to keep the juice she had just drank from the bottle in her mouth. It was rare to see Minghao in such a state of anger, even if he was just acting. The dancer disappeared around the corner when at the same time, Jeonghan decided to speak up.

"Dino, go with him!" He demanded.

The youngest, who was just about to sit back down between Minnie and Jun, decided to stay up and turn around.

"But he- he doesn't- he said DON'T!" He shouted out, making all of the other members chuckle and laugh out loud. 

[okay but why do i kinda want dino to scream at me now...]

Hoshi leaned onto the female member, almost unable to control his laughter.

"I want to, but he says not to!" Dino continued to argue with the '95 Line on the far left in the camera view as they continued to order him around, trying to get him to follow Minghao.

"Ya!" Minnie surprised everyone by suddenly standing up, "Leave him alone!" 

[minnie not taking shit from man, even if it's just acting, even if it's her own members, LET'S GOOO]

Getting a hold of the maknae's lower arm. "If you want your drinks, go get them yourselves!"

[her defending him is so fucking cute omg]

"You can go with him if you talk back to us like that!" S.Coups stood up, making the girl subconsciously take a small step back.

[not minnie or dino related, but i just KNOW that was muscle memory and our girl here was SCARED]

[i mean, who wouldn't be, yk]

[but i'd also be turned on bc it's scoups]

"Yeah, go with him!" Joshua joined.

Followed by Jeonghan, "You have to respect your elders, Minnie!"

[why could i actually hear them fr using these arguments with her omg]

She was just about to open her mouth again, a small smirk making her lips curl that she tried to hide so hard when she felt a soft tug on her arm.

[oh she was ready to go OFF on them]

[i'm so sad she didn't]

[i need the evidence of scoups constantly talkign about minnie talking back to him]

[i need it]

"Come on, noona," Dino dragged her along with him. "They're not worth it."

['THEY'RE NOT WORTH IT']

[OMG]

With a sarcastic shake of her head, she sent one last glare towards the three eldest of the group before following the younger member.

[the comedic duo we never knew we needed just disrespecting elders]

[slay]

-

In the Soop 2 Ep. 2

[there's wayyyyy too much in the soop content]

[i should make a solo video of just minnie moments with certain members from in the soop bc it's literally my fave thing ever]

[but anyways, here we go]

Some of the members had gathered outside, drinking a bit and eating their dinner even though it was already late at night. Seungcheol, Jeonghan, and Dino, who before had been on their own in a tent a little further away from the others, joined them - some other members, like Wonwoo and Vernon, had already left, leaving Seungkwan, Dino, Dokyeom and Minghao on one side of the table, while Seungcheol and Jeonghan were occupying the other seats opposite of them. 

[they're were just enjoying their time together so much and i'm praying they'll get to do this OR things with na pd more often]

[pledis pls]

[but i know these bitches won't listen]

Minnie and Mingyu had decided to stand up with the rapper standing closer to the maknae line, his position fixed at the grill, and the girl resting her hands on Cheol's shoulders. The oldest member had put his right hand on top of hers, his thumb gliding over her skin comfortably. 

[again: not dino-minnie related, BUT LIKE...]

[are we interrupting something here?!]

[i mean we know how close they are... platonically... right...]

[anyways]

[we'll never know]

[but it was a cute scene either way, so you better bet i kept it in]

After the not-so-few few drinks she had had, she needed every little bit of support she could get.

She had blended out most of the conversation that was going on around the table, too occupied with trying to understand what Mingyu was trying to tell her - how the hell am I supposed to be able to read lips while drunk, she thought to herself. 

[i don't know what kind of messages they were sending each other but istg minnie and mingyu are something else]

[ESPECIALLY WHEN DRUNK]

[or maybe just when they're in the soop, i don't know]

[but i freaking love it]

Only snapping back into the present when Dino's voice rang through her ear.

"Have you ever lit a campfire before?"

Jeonghan's answer, was, as expected, "No, I haven't."

"Oh, he hasn't!"

"So, let's try lightening it tomorrow," the '95 Liner proposed.

Minnie let her hand drop from the leader's shoulder before walking to the other side of the table, passing Joshua, who had also joined them again. S.Coups' eyes followed her form as she walked up to Mingyu. To whisper something into his ear, she placed her hand on one of his arms, that he had crossed over his chest, to make him lean down to her height. As he raked himself up again only two seconds later, he smiled with a nod.

[?!]

Her attention was then immediately back on the maknae.

"If there's no fan with your mouth-" he spoke but stopped to show them how to blow onto the imaginary fire he was trying to create. "You have to blow like this to light it up," he continued explaining.

The female member was already grinning from ear to ear, listening attentively to every word the youngest was saying.

[BE MORE WHIPPED FOR HIM MINNIE, MY GOD]

[she loves him so much, i can't]

[he's literally just talking and our girly here is looking at him like that]

"Honestly," Jeonghan pointed at him, "You did this to look cute, right?" Minnie smiled to herself as this was exactly what she was also thinking.

[oh he most definitely did]

[gotta impress the noona]

As soon as the '95 Liner and Seungkwan started to imitate Dino's antics, there was no going back for him. They reenacted his pretended cuteness, getting chuckles from everyone at the table.

"Ok ok, then let's say that's not it and say it again," Jeonghan tried his best to get the maknae to repeat himself.

"Yeah," Dino started again. "When I went camping with my friend, we tried to light a fire, but we couldn't."

The '95 Liner played along. "Oh, then how did you light it?"

[jeonghan is such a parent HAHAHAHAHA]

[gotta love him]

"So, I just- I thought I should blow on it a lot. Like this-" the youngest repeated his action, adding an extra tint of cuteness as he imitated a 'blowing onto a fire' facial expression.

[STOP]

[WHAT A CUTIE]

[LOOK AT HIM]

Not able to hold back anymore, along with the rest of the members, Minnie started cheering and laughing out loud at the over-the-top cute antics of their maknae. 

[GIRLY HAHAHAHA]

With quick steps, she was right behind him, throwing her arms over his shoulders to pull him back against her.

"Aaaah, our Dino's so cute! So grown up, but still so cute!" She squealed, getting a chuckle from the man in her embrace as he petted her arms. 

[SHE'S SO CUTE]

[HOW CAN SOMEONE LOVE THEIR LITTLE BROTHER LIKE THAT]

[mine's a rat fr]

[but for minnie...]

[it's like once she looks at dino, nothing else is important anymore]

[but tbh, same]

The two swayed slightly before she released him again. In the next second though, her hands hand his cheeks, squishing his face in between her palms.

"Look how cute he is!" Getting another round of giggles from the guys surrounding them. 

[i love how this seems such normal behaviour for them]

[i desperately need to drink with them one day]

[i want to be hugged and squeezed like that by minnie]

"Our little maknae!" She let go of him completely after pressing a kiss on the top of his head.

[AAAAAAHHHH CUTIESSSS]

-

Minnie Birthday Live 231222

The female member's eyes were fixed on the screen in front of her, frantically moving up and down and left and right as she tried to read through the comments Carats were writing. The cake she had only eaten a little bit of, was still in front of her, on the table in the hotel room she was staying in.

[i have so much to say about this birthday live]

[and just want to quickly adress how proud i am of her for adressing the airport issue]

[a queen]

[and now back to how much dino and her love eacht other]

"'What are you listening to these days?'" She read out loud, a small smile immediately appearing on her lips. "Well... I don't know if you've heard about it, but there's a new song that came out in... November- at the end of November. It's called 'Wait' and it's by this really cool artist called Dino," she couldn't help but chuckle at her own antics. 

[and y'all are still arguing over who is the biggest dinonara, when this girl right here exists]

"So, yeah. In case you haven't looked up that song, I highly recommend it."

[of course you'd just try to mention him literally whenever you can]

[and of course, i've already listened to the song]

Right away, the comment section was filled with different coloured hearts - mostly pink and blue ones.

She giggled. "But jokes aside, I really have been listening to Wait a lot. It's really good and I really enjoy seeing this side of Dino. It's different... a little. But... it's good. And I'm really proud of him, so I want to support him, of course."

[she really is the best big sister ever wtf]

-

"Oh, is Dino watching? Some of you guys are saying Dino's watching." 

[OF COURSE HE IS]

[he can't miss his noona's live]

The girl looked down at her own phone, which she wasn't filming with, chuckling down at the screen. "Ah yes, he is watching. He asked me how much longer I'll be live. Wait a second, Carats."

[he's actually a fan just like us, i'm telling you]

After a few taps on her phone, she put the speaker up to her ear. Only a couple seconds later, she spoke up.

"Hi, I think I'm still gonna be live for a while. Do you want to join me?" 

[i'm actually convinced her voice changes slightly whenever she talks to him]

[but i'm also delusional af, so it's probably just my brain telling me that tbh]

The corners of her lips curled up at what came from the other side of the call.

"Ok, ok. I understand. Of course, yeah. Alright, we'll see. Bye-bye." She ended the call and looked back into the camera.

"Dino's gonna make a quick trip to the gym downstairs, and then he might join us," she explained and grinned at the end of the statement.

[LOOK HOW EXCITED SHE LOOKS]

-

A knock echoing through the room made her head shoot up towards the door.

"I'll be right back, Carats." She was quick to leave.

[girl is SPRINTING to let in her favourite little brother]

In the background laughter could be heard, coming from both male and female voices - everyone obviously immediately knew who was out of the camera's view.

After a few short moments, steps became louder and heavier as the two got closer to the table again.

"Look who's joining me!" Minnie called out, letting the maknae appear on the right side of the screen. "Dino-yaaa." 

[shout it out girl, yes]

With a big smile, she patted the empty chair next to her. Without having to be told twice, the youngest sat down and right away, scooched closer towards the female member, both now perfectly filling out the screen.

"Hi everyone!" He greeted into the camera, waving his hands. "How was the live so far? Is Minnie entertaining you enough?"

[i could literally watch her just sit and it would be entertaining enough]

[i wish i was joking]

With a smile, the girl shook her head. "I've been entertaining them very well," she answered for herself.

[facts]

"Have you been enjoying the cake?" He turned towards her, looking at her with expecting big eyes as she nodded.

"Yess. It's really good, thank you." She patted his arm comfortably. "Do you want a little bit?" Not even waiting for his answer, she was already putting some of the cake's dough, along with the icing onto a fork. But before she could bring it up close to his mouth, he stopped her.

"No, no, thank you."

[he broke her heart with that, i just know it]

With a pout, she glanced at him. The fork still in midair. "Why not?"

"I just came from the gym. I have to be careful what I'm eating."

"Because of your diet?"

Dino nodded quietly. Minnie wasn't going to let him go off like that so easily.

"But it's good if you have a little bit of cake. Just a little."

[minnie lot letting him diet is soo big sister of her]

The maknae chuckled at her. "Says who?"

"Me!" She exclaimed as if it was the most obvious thing in the world, chuckling afterwards along with him. 

[i agree]

A few seconds later, she was back in her 'big sister agenda', "But it's really not good to diet too strictly. If you eat cake you'll be happy. And being happy is more important than to be in good shame." She kept up her guard by still holding the fork.

[YES]

[I KNEW I STANNED THE RIGHT GROUP]

[i love her so much]

With a sigh, he gave in. "I know, you're right." Leaning forward to eat the small piece of cake. "Noona's always right."

[jesus christ]

[they're so much closer than just siblings]

[this is the kind of platonic love i just don't get]

[but i love it]

Minnie laughed out loud as he chewed. "I'd be careful with that statement. I might use that against you later," she pointed out.

[HAHAHAHAHAAHA]

[i mean, at least she's warning him]

"Oh," his face dropped immediately, "you're right." 

[this, my friends, is the look of immediate regret]

Before laughing together with her, knowing damn well she will FOR SURE use it later at some point.

-

The two continued to spend a comfortable time together, going through some more comments, and talking about the tour, the upcoming concert, a little bit about the Christmas time, and his mixtape.

[they kept talking and talking and talking, like damn...]

"'Minnie and Dino haven't done the 'Wait' challenge yet', you're right!" The youngest member pointed at the screen in front of them. "We haven't yet. We still need to."

[fr]

[i was actually so surprised that she wasn't one of the first ones though]

Without missing a beat, the girl just spat out, "Do you wanna do it now?"

[i love her]

Dino turned his head to look at her. "Do you know it?"

[RUDE]

"Of course, I know it!" She scoffed. "How dare you think I wouldn't!"

[she was so offended omg haha]

He raised his arms in defence. "I don't know! We haven't learned it together yet, so I wasn't sure."

"Let's do it now," Minnie impulsively decided, standing up quickly and getting her chair out of the way - Dino copied her every move. 

[there wasn't even a 'yes' or 'sure' from him]

[she just wanted to show everyone that she knew the dance even without actively learning it]

[bc I BET she watched that mv an unhealthy amount of times]

[girly is probably half of the streams]

Soon enough, they had also moved the phone they were filming with a little further back, giving them more room and showing more space of the hotel they were staying in.

"Wait, we need the music," the maknae remembered, looking around to find his phone.

Minnie pointed towards something on the right side of the screen, "You can take mine."

Dino looked at her with scrunched eyebrows. "I thought you were using your phone for the live? Who's- ah, ok," he started but cut himself off before walking over to where she had pointed, coming back into the shot with the female's member phone in his grasp. He unlocked it, and a few taps later, the intro for his Mixtape was already playing. 

[such a small thing, but i just noticed it: he knows her passcode?!]

[THE TRUST]

To get to the chorus quicker, he moved the bar on the music app, stopping shortly before the part they'd be dancing would start.

"Are you sure you know it?"

Minnie just nodded enthusiastically. "Of course!"

And sure enough, she did.

[she freaking killed it]

-

[INSIDE SEVENTEEN] Golden Disk Award Sketch

The group was in the middle of their practice session for the upcoming award show. Diverted into different small groups, the members were scattered around the room.

The group consisting of Jeonghan, Dino, Seungkwan, Hoshi and S.Coups, was up next to not only practice their own little moment but also ready to perform it and let their choreographer film it.

Youngjoon growled as soon as Seventeen's leader walked up to the camera. But once Dino had stepped into view, it was Minnie's voice that called out from the background.

[wonwoo and minnie are fr fighting for biggest dinonara and she is giving it 110%]

"LET'S GO DINO!" Getting a smirk from the maknae before he started his solo movements.

[HE GETS SO SHY]

[UGH I JUST WANT TO SQUISH HIM]

"WOW, SO COOL," she continued to cheer him on, making not only him but every other member too, chuckle, along with their choreographer. 

[imagine being loved as much as dino is]

[damn...]

As soon as Hoshi moved into the middle, she fell quiet again.

In the next shot, after the practice round was finished, the camera was on the '96 Liner, who just looked at something out of view. A pout was evident on his lips.

Minnie chuckled, making the cameraman move over to her, letting everyone know that it was her, who Hoshi was looking at. "What?" She giggled.

"Why were you only cheering on Dino? What was that?" He asked her, keeping up the disappointed expression. 

[HOSHI IS SULKY TOWARDS HER?!]

[compare this moment to all those stories they told about minnie being literally terrified of hoshi]

[how are these the same people HAHAHA]

This only made her chuckle again.

"Well," she sighed, "I guess you just have to work harder for me to cheer on you too."

[WOW...]

Before the performance unit leader could say anything, their maknae appeared from the right side, rushing over to the female member. 

"No, Minnie just likes me more than you," immediately throwing an arm around her shoulder. 

[HE'S THE CUTEST LITTLE BROTHER EVER]

[MY GOD, JUST LOOK AT HIM Y'ALL]

The girl giggled against his side before wrapping both arms around his torso, cuddling even deeper into him, as he put his other free arm around her frame as well - both now just standing in each other's embrace with big grins decorating their faces.

[i would actually do anything and everything for them]

Hoshi just continued to stare at them.

-

SEVENTEEN ‘손오공’ M/V BEHIND THE SCENES

Dino was in the middle of getting interviewed by the cameraman when in the middle of the sentence, the female member of the group surprisingly appeared. She engulfed him in a side embrace, her arms around his upper body and arms, holding him close as she let her chin rest on his shoulder. 

[just IMAGINE being minnie and just getting to do that on the regular]

[he literally just continued talking as if this was nothing new to him]

Absentmindedly, she nodded along to everything the youngest was saying. After a few moments, he stopped and looked moved his head to look at her.

"Cold?"

She answered him with a simple nod and smile before opening her mouth to answer him.

"But don't worry Carats, Dino's body will keep me warm." Her comment got a chuckle out of the maknae, whose hands had started to rub her arm, trying to create some form of warmth, knowing she was one of the members to easily get cold.

[HOW DO I FIND MYSELF SOMEONE THAT LOVES ME THIS MUCH]

[DINO PLS I WILL BE GOOD TO YOU]

"You know," she glanced into the camera. "Whenever I'm hugging Dino these days, it feels like I'm hugging Mingyu." 

[THE WAY SHE'S RUBBING IT IN]

[WE KNOW HE'S BEEN WORKING OUT]

[WE CAN SEE THAT]

[but she just had to mention it once again]

She dropped her arms to free him just in time as her compliment made the maknae laugh out loud, giving her his signature contagious bright smile as he threw his head back. She grinned at him.

[THAT SMILE IS PURE LOVE AND ADORATION]

He shyly smiled at her, "Ah, noona, don't overreact-"

[don't get all shy now]

"Hugging Mingyu?" Suddenly the familiar voice of her fellow '97 Liner appeared from the side she had just come from as well. "What about hugging me? Do you want a hug?" 

[this man has ears EVERYWHERE when it comes to minnie]

[my god, my guy, she just mentioned you, calm down]

Without waiting for an answer, Mingyu copied her stance from before, wrapping both of his arms around her shoulders, her left arm buried into his muscular chest as she chuckled.

[?!?!?!?!?!]

[SO THIS IS WHAT IT'S LIKE TO BE MINNIE?!]

"I just said that hugging Dino feels like hugging you nowadays," Minnie glanced up into his eyes. "He's been working out a lot."

[also: can we talk about when the hell minnie went from pushing mingyu away to literally MELTING in his embrace?!]

[what chapter did i skip?!]

[bc i literally remember her avoiding his hugs to annoy him like it's yesterday]

[and now she's suddenly like this?!]

[girlyyyyyyyy]

The rapper nodded, both of the '97 Liners smiling at the youngest, who had a subtle, yet noticeable blush brightening his cheeks.

"That's true."

"But be careful not to get too big, Dino," the girl added, still in the embrace of the older member.

With a frown, Mingyu looked down at her, his arms loosening around her frame. "Are you saying I'm too big?" He wondered. 

[THE WAY HE NEEDS THE VALIDATION]

[no mingyu, don't worry]

[minnie noona is just looking out for her favourite little dongsaeng]

No answer, just a pat on his chest and a loud laughter from the maknae followed.

-

'sleepover live hihi'

[i really do think that we as carats have moved on way too fast from this]

[their sleepovers... who seem to be like an almost REGULAR occurrence?!]

[but anyways, here are some of my favourite moments]

[mind you, this live is almost two freaking hours long... it's so hard to cut out only a few parts for this video]

The live started with no members in frame. The only thing Carats could see was the edge of a table and a navy couch in the background.

The comments were skipping over the screen at a quick pace.

'Who is this?'

'Which member put on the live and forgot?'

'Who's sofa is this?'

'omg they're having a sleepover????'

Then all of a sudden, two heads popped into the frame from each side.

"Hello!"

"Hii!"

Minnie and Dino greeted the livestream with wide smiles as they showed their faces, scooching in closer to sit right next to each other. Both of them were not wearing any makeup and in sweats, along with him in a black sweatshirt and her with, what appeared to be the same one in cream.

[CUTIES]

[LITERAL CUTIES]

[ANGELS]

[BABIES]

"Hi Carats," the girl leaned forward with a grin, her eyes scanning the comments. "Ah, everyone's so shocked to see us."

[not surprised]

[but i definitely wasn't expecting it ngl]

[but this has to be one of the best lives in svt history]

"That means our surprise worked," the maknae added, a proud smirk on his lips. He leaned back against the sofa, swiftly brushing a hand through his hair.

Minnie nodded, "Looks like it." She stopped for a second before continuing. "'Dino and Minnie look so cute so late at night'" Thank you," she chuckled. "Even though we've already had a few drinks, Carats still say such nice things about us."

[i feel like she gets so giggly when drunk and just even more beautiful fr]

[y'all see that GLOW?!]

[gorgeous]

"Mm," the youngest nodded, now joining the girl by leaning forward to also read through the comments. "Yeah, we've already had a few drinks, but we only now decided to put on the livestream."

[AND HIM?!]

[YUM]

"I think not a lot of Carats expected us to drink together like this."

"Hm, yeah, that could be true," Dino stated before his eyes fixed on one specific comment. "'Are you really having a sleepover?'-"

"Yes!" Minnie showed a bright smile to the camera, stretching out her arms to the sides.

[SHE'S SO EXCITED ABOUT IT AAAAH]

[you gotta love her, come on]

The youngest changed his seating position slightly. "Minnie invited me over to her place."

[defo not crying]

"Because you haven't slept over here yet," she glanced at him as he nodded.

"That's right, not here yet."

[didn't know wtf they were talking about back then]

[now we know: mimiwon moved into a new apartment]

[and minnie needed dino and her to have a sleepover at the new place]

[CRYING]

A yawn escaped her lips, making Minnie cover her mouth and close her eyes for a second. "But I'm more tired than I expected, to be honest," she commented.

Dino smiled at her, his hand patting her shoulder comfortably. "We've been preparing for the album very hard, that's why maybe."

"Mm, probably."

-

After a few minutes of just casual conversation flowing between the two idols, as if the camera wasn't even recording, the girl had gotten up to get them something more to drink.

It was now Dino who was in charge of entertainment.

"Okay," he looked down at his own phone, which he had put on the livestream, so he could read through the comments more easily. "'Do you have sleepovers like this often?'" He read out before speaking up slightly louder, looking to the right side of the screen where the girl had disappeared into. "Would you say we do this often, noona?"

[there's just something... about him... he's just too adorable]

Minnie's distant voice could be heard in the background. "Not as often as I would like to." Her comment got a wide grin from the maknae in return, who tilted his head to the side.

[GIRL YOU CAN'T BE SO CUTE WHAT THE HELL]

"Awww, noona! You're so cute!" He almost squealed, making her laugh out loud. 

[FACTS DINO]

"Carats, Minnie-noona is really so sweet, right?' For a second he went quiet, now back to looking at his phone. "They're all saying how sweet you are!" Dino called out to let her know.

[well, gotta let the queen know that we love her, yk]

Minnie chuckled, "Thank you, guys!" She shouted out to make sure her voice could be heard in the live.

"Oh-" the maknae suddenly stopped mid-sentence.

"What?"

"Some are saying Vernon is watching- is he watching? Hold on" After tapping around his phone, his lips curled up. "Aaah, he really is watching. He commented 'Wow, now I'm jealous', 'Minnie is making drinks for you?'"

[OF COURSE]

[of course vernon is jealous of them]

[i'd be too]

[minnie pls take good care of him as well]

[god... minnie and vernon are also so adorable together]

With quick steps, the girl was back in the living room,

"What? No! I asked him if he wanted to come too, and he said no!" She whined out loud as the sound of clinking glass rang through the background, coming from everything she was placing on the table for them to drink.

[missed his chance i guess]

"He's regretting his choice now," Dino stated. 

[i'd be regretting it for weeks tbh]

Once the girl went back into the kitchen, the youngest's eyes went wide as soon as they landed on the amount of liquor on the table that was hidden from the view of the livestream.

"Noona! You really think we're gonna drink that much?"

[let's gooooooo]

"I don't know, maybe," she just answered. "Maybe Mingyu wants to drink something too."

[she really thinks of everyone, doesn't she?]

[god, i'm gonna cry]

"Aaah, ok ok," Dino nodded, going back to reading through the comments while the girl came back with takeout containers, putting them somewhere behind the camera and onto the floor before she made herself comfortable again next to the maknae. "'Is Mingyu invited too?' He... I don't- I don't know, is he invited?" Directing the last question to the girl, who just chuckled.

"I can't not invite him. He lives here."

[she knows that we know and i know that we know, but will i ever get enough of mimiwon living together? No.]

[i need all the domestic shit about them, pretty please]

[including dino, their child, having fun sleepovers at their place]

"Exactly!" A loud voice surprised the two younger members, making them jump up and look to the right side, groaning when they came to sight of the culprit.

Minnie was holding her chest. "You idiot! Stooop! Don't scare us like that!"

Mingyu ignored her scolder and started chuckling, "Did you buy the entire liquor store? Are you crazy?"

[not him judging her for that]

[bro, when i tell you i bet he drinks even more than her]

"I can buy whatever I want. It's my money, and I'm an adult," she fought back and sat up straighter, making the maknae clap and nod proudly as he was just sitting there, listening to the two '97 Liners bickering around.

[POP OFF MINNIE]

[love supportive feminist dino]

"Wow," the rapper sighed, "You two... you guys are really- wow..."

[he's so done]

[he is sooooo done HAHAHAHA]

-

"'Dance cover now please'" Minnie chuckled after reading a comment she found amusing, "Right now? I don't think that's a good idea." And oh how right she was, but that wasn't gonna stop the maknae.

"No, noona, let's do it!" 

[HOW COULD SHE EVEN SAY NO IF HE LOOKS AT HER LIKE THAT AND LITERALLY SPEAKS IN POUT?!]

He turned towards the camera, "We've been wanting to film a Danceology video, but we can never decide on just one song. We have so many songs we want to do, so it's hard. But we can show you now." Without wasting another second, he pushed himself up from the floor, only for Minnie to quickly reach out for him.

"No, Dino, stop," she laughed, "You're gonna hurt yourself. Don't. We can do it another time, but not after drinking," she assured him with a nod.

[...]

[when i tell you: she will in fact be the most amazing mom]

[i don't care that they're 'only' two years apart]

[the way she acts with him, takes care of him, AND TALKS TO HIM]

[perfect sister and perfect future mom]

[minnie pls adopt me]

Slowly, but surely, Dino lowered himself onto the floor again, landing on his butt with a heavy sigh. "When did you become so responsible?" 

[SINCE SHE CARES ABOUT YOU]

[but in all seriousness: jesus, just call her out like that]

[minnie just gets responsible when it's about dino]

[her favourite]

Making the girl laugh out loud.

-

"Noona?"

[melting every single time.]

"Hm?" Minnie hummed in wonder while her eyes were still trained on the comment section on her phone in front of the duo.

Dino, who was still looking at his own screen, leaned forward, tapping his older sister on the shoulder to make her turn towards him as he pointed at the screen.

"Read it," she told him with a nod, but he shook his head.

"I don't know how to pronounce it."

Her frown at first quickly turned into a kind smile as she tilted her head in awe. "Yes, you do. You can speak English. Read it."

"Ah, noona, I don't want to. You do it." Pushing his phone towards her.

But even with his cute voice ringing through her ears, Minnie stood her ground, "No, you can do it."

[the way she keeps insisting on him reading it]

[like yes, go on]

[i love how supportive he is of every member whenever they speak english or want to speak it]

"Then I will look for a different comment," he shook his head and leaned back against the couch, getting another chuckle from the girl.

[but then, she also doesn't push him to make him feel uncomfortable, but just lets him do his thing]

[UGH, probably looking way too much into this, you don't have to tell me, but just leave me to it pls]

-

"'Is Dino... your... fa-vourite member?'" Dino read out loud in English.

With a wide smile, the girl turned her head to glance at him, "Of course, you are."

[GIRLY DIDN'T EVEN HESITATE FOR A SECOND]

"Ah, noona!" With a shy squeal, he hit her arm, making both of them chuckle in synch. "You are my favourite member... too."

[HIS ENGLISH]

[stop, he's actually the cutest]

"I'd hope so."

"What?"

"It means I would hope that that's true."

-

The maknae surprised the female member with his sudden laughter.

"'Minnie and Dino have couple hoodies?'" 

"What?!" She whipped her head to look at him, shock written all across her face. "Those aren't couple hoodies!" Minnie whined out while all Dino could do was fall onto the floor, his laughing continuing.

[SHE SOUNDED SO OFFENDED]

"Why would we own couple hoodies?!" She wondered out loud, more to herself than to anyone in particular, before looking back into the camera. "You guys," she pointed a strict finger. "Ew, why would we wear something like that?"

"Hey!" The youngest pushed himself up again, glaring at the girl. "Why 'ew'?"

[oh no dinooo]

Minnie sent him an unamused facial expression. "What else am I supposed to say? It's weird."

Dino shrugged, "It's funny. Maybe they are couple hoodies and we didn't realise when we bought them."

With a pout, the female idol leaned back against the couch. "Now I don't know if I want to wear them anymore."

[she's so dramatic, i love it]

"No, you can't take it off," the maknae was quick to tell her, his eyes giving her a serious look.

"Why not?"

"Because... I would be really hurt," he simply told her, making Minnie giggle. 

[well now she REALLY can't]

[she'd never do that to him, we all know that]

She threw her head back against the cushion, reaching forward with one hand to push the younger member away from her.

Dino chuckled at her reaction, touching the spot where she had shoved him. "I mean it, noona. Let's just continue wearing them."

[love how persistent he is about this]

"Okay, okay," Minnie agreed, running her fingers through her hair to get them out of her face. "But let's not call them couple hoodies."

"Yeah... it feels a bit weird," the youngest admitted shyly, sending a quick look towards the camera when a sudden touch from the girl surprised him.

"I told you!"

-

[you gotta understand]

[if dancers do a livestream, they gotta also dance]

'That That' by Psy feat. Suga was blasting through the speakers in the living room of the apartment. The coffee table had been pushed back, the phone still prompt up on it. Minnie and Dino's bodies were eliminated by the colours reflecting on them from the video the beamer was displaying on the wall. The duo had the choreography perfectly memorised- of course, they did.

[i just imagine wonwoo and mingyu somewhere in the apartment, just praying that minnie and dino will get tired and just go to sleep]

[it was way too late for them to be up and have this much energy for dancing like this istg]

Along with the, at this point probably too much, alcohol in their system, singing and dancing had become much harder than each of them expected - now rather slurring and panting through the lyrics of the song. 

Shortly before the song had reached the end, the female member fell to the floor, her hands on her knees.

"Jesus..." she breathed out heavily.

A laugh erupted from the maknae as his eyes fell on her crouched frame. "Noona! You're a main dancer, come on!" Reaching out and grabbing her arm to pull her back up.

[oh to have dino's energy]

Minnie groaned as she straightened her back, "I'm not as young as you anymore, Channie." Only making him shake his head and laugh even more.

[PLS]

[she really just took over jeonghan's old person personality]

He turned around to snatch the phone from where he had thrown it onto the couch and tapped on its screen. "What do you want to do next?" He moved his body around to let the girl get a look at the screen as well. "This?" He asked her, to which she nodded,

"Let's do that."

[whatever the baby wants, the baby gets]

-

DINO Mixtake 'Wait' M/V BEHIND THE SCENES

Vernon stepped into the shot first, greeting the camera with a quick "Hello" as he passed the cameraman. Dokyeom, Wonwoo and Minnie were already taking their seats by a table that wouldn't be used in the scene the crew and Dino were filming.

"Our Dino's first mixtape," Seokmin smiled into the camera as he spoke. Behind him, the girl was standing up with her phone in her hand, filming and taking pictures with a big grin on her face.

[insert kris jenner's camera meme]

[YOU'RE DOING AMAZING SWEETIE]

Wonwoo took a quick glance to his left, the same direction Minnie was focused on. "Woah, so cool!" He shouted out proudly, getting a chuckle from the other members.

[again: the fight for biggest dinonara continues]

[why not just agree they're both the unofficial parents and leaders of the dino fanclub?]

"Dino-ya!" The female member called out, making the maknae turn around, immediately smiling when he saw her with her phone on him. He sent her a quick grin and a thumbs up. The girl's smile widened.

[she's such a mom omg]

One last picture later, she put her phone down, turning towards the other members, who were looking at her in amusement, when she noticed the camera was still filming her.

"I'm gonna send those pictures to Dino's parents." She explained, taking a seat opposite Wonwoo, who was still gazing at the youngest member.

[HOW COULD SHE BE SO ADORABLE?!]

[her sending his parents pictures of their son, omg stop i'm already about to cry myself to sleep]

[this is too much for my heart]

-

Seungkwan and Mingyu had joined the group, also deciding to visit their maknae on set. The younger of the two was speaking into the microphone as Minnie joined them, walking up to them behind her fellow '97 Liner to stop by his right side. With her arms crossed she kept her eyes on the younger member, who had started to comment on Dino's hair.

[i love how literally whenever there's seungkwan bickering with dino, there's minnie showering him with even more love]

The girl suddenly got closer to Seungkwan, motioning for him to hand her the microphone, not wasting a second, to voice her opinion.

"I love your hair, Dino-ya!" She smiled brightly. "And I love you too!" 

[gotta let the world know yk]

Her quick addition earned her a gentle smack on her arm by the '98 Liner while Mingyu just chuckled at the duo, as Minnie had started to hit him back.

[don't even get me started on seungkwan and minnie, my god]

-

DINO Mixtape 'Making of Wait' EP.1

The youngest member was in the studio with Seventeen's main lead vocalist and producer. The two were going through the lyrics Dino had written for his upcoming solo.

"Minnie said she'll be here in ten minutes," he explained to Woozi. "I want to show her before we record."

[NOW THIS IS WHERE I ACTUALLY START WHEEPING]

[HE WANTS TO SHOW HER HIS LYRICS FIRST?!]

[stop being so adorable, dino, please]

[for the sake of my well-being]

"Ok ok," came as an answer from the '96 Liner who was out of the shot, his voice only barely noticeable.

The maknae turned towards the camera after reaching for his water bottle on the couch behind him. "I really trust noona when it comes to lyrics. Maybe she has better ideas for them."

[...]

[you don't want to know the noise i made when he said that]

The next moment, Minnie entered the studio, greeting the room with a cheery, "Hi!" Getting a wide smile from the '99 Liner in return. His eyes lit up as a plastic cup of coffee was placed right in front of him, slightly covering the camera's view.

"Wow, thank you, noona." As Dino reached out for it, the female member gently patted his head with a grin before letting herself fall onto the sofa.

[AGJFKSJOIFHEIBIF]

"Oh-" he stopped himself before he went to take a sip, snatching a piece of paper from the table the camera was placed on. "Here are the lyrics." Turning around to face her, Minnie stopped him by waving her phone.

"I read through them on the file you sent me."

"You already looked at them?"

With scrunched eyebrows and a slightly shocked facial expression, the girl gazed at him. "Of course, why wouldn't I?"

[exactly]

[how dare him even question this]

Dino shrugged, taking a sip from the Iced Americano. "I thought you were busy maybe."

[STOP]

Minnie had started to hunch over her phone, her screen brightening up the lower half of her face as she looked up at him. "Yeah, but this is important to you. Of course, I'm gonna look at it right when you send it to me."

[...]

[I...]

[... i am so not okay]

[i don't even think i know people that care this much]

[LIKE HOW]

Before the youngest could answer her again, Woozi spoke up from the right side of the screen. "You never do that with my lyrics. You always text 'I'll take a look later, I'm busy now.' And then you never do."

[OH HERE WE GO]

[lee, i'm so done with this girl but i also love and cherrish her so much and even let her stay in my studio when i'm not here and will always support her but also annoy the hell out of her and be an annoying ass brother who just loves her so dearly and will support her till my last day, jihoon]

"Stop lying!" Minnie exclaimed. "I don't say that! And you never look at MY lyrics!"

[the money i would pay to be a fly on the wall in the studio when they're there]

The maknae chuckled at the silly argument going on behind him, laughing out loud as Minnie tried to throw a pillow at their producer.

[and he's just sitting there enjoying this PLS HAHAHA]

-

"Alright," she took a deep breath as she pushed herself up to her feet. "I'm gonna go now."

"You're not staying?" Dino turned around, looking up at the older member.

[IF SOMEBODY LOOKS AT YOU WITH EYES THAT BIG, YOU STAY]

Minnie stopped in her tracks, "You wanted me to stay?"

He shrugged, "No no, I just thought maybe you want to."

[DINO PLS I CANNOT HANDLE THIS ANYMORE]

[HE IS TOO PRECIOUS FOR THIS WORLD]

"Aah..." she let out a sigh, "I'm sorry. I'm meeting up with someone. If I knew you wanted me to stay, I wouldn't have made plans."

[just drop them, minnie]

[drop them]

[stay with him]

[pls he needs you]

[LOOK AT HIS EYES]

"It's okay, don't worry," he assured her. "Go, don't make them wait."

[noooo dinooooo]

The girl couldn't help but chuckle after she finished putting on her jacket again. "I shouldn't 'tell them, wait'," she imitated the sound of the song he was about to record, getting a laugh from him in return.

[... girl has been spending too much time with wonwoo bc good god, that was even worse than a dad joke]

"Exactly," he chuckled.

Before she left the duo to finish the recording, Minnie leaned down to be back in the camera's shot.

"Carats, please support Dino's solo well. It's gonna be really good and I know you're gonna love it."

[and she was right]

[we did]

-

[INSIDE SEVENTEEN] UNESCO Youth Forum Special Video Sketch

Seungkwan was grasping onto the sheets of paper in his hand, the maknae of the group right by his side as they read through the lyrics they had printed out. They were going through the English version of the group's song 'Together'. With both of them unsure about their pronunciation, Dino started looking around.

His eyes stopped scanning the room. "Noona!" He called out for the female member who was out of the cameraman's view. 

[i could literally make a compilation of just him shouting out for her and wouldn't get tired of it]

"Can you help us?"

[OF COURSE BABY]

With quick steps, Minnie jogged up towards the two, coming to a halt by his left side. "Hm?" She hummed as her eyes fell onto the black-on-white text in front of them.

[girl was so quick]

[she'd definitely drop everyone and everything to help him]

[reminds me of when wonwoo called her with na pd-nim and she was on her way literally while they were still talking]

[she loves them so much, like HOW]

"You and I are never losing our way. You and I, we will be walking straight." The two younger members sang along to the song that was playing in the background. Seungkwan went over the lyrics with slightly more ease than Dino, who started chuckling at his own struggle.

"Try going slower first," the female member placed a comforting hand on the younger's upper arm.

[she is so patient]

[... god... please let me have my own minnie]

[or dino honestly too]

"But it's supposed to be sung at a quick pace," he told her.

Minnie nodded. "Yeah, but try speaking the lyrics slowly first and then increase the speed. That way your pronunciation will be clearer and you won't stumble over your words."

[THE PATIENCE]

[the way she's also explaining it to him so softly]

[as if he was delicate keramic]

[what a comparison, wow...]

With a grin, Dino turned towards the camera, "Everyone," his arm was thrown over the petite shoulders of the '97 Liner. "I have the best English teacher." 

[AWWWWW STOP]

Getting a shy giggle out of her and a smack towards his chest, making him chuckle.

-

After his somewhat decent acrostic poem to UNESCO, Dino called out for the girl as she walked past the cameraman's back. Without having to be asked twice, Minnie showed up right next to the younger member.

"We're filming for UNESCO right now and we'll be in Paris in a few days, right?"

"Mm," the female performer nodded with a grin, the strong wind blowing through her hair, making her squint her eyes and tighten the colourful jacket around her body.

"Are you excited?"

"Of course," she smiled, "I can't wait to finally be in France with almost all of the members."

Dino nodded along with her answer. "Should we learn a little bit of French? Can you teach me something?"

[he really wants her to teach him, stoooop]

[omg imagine if he just started learning french from her]

[he'd be unstoppable]

Minnie chuckled, "What do you want to say?"

The maknae looked around the open field for a second as he thought to himself, the girls' eyes never leaving his form. He turned back towards her. "Something like 'thank you for your support'."

"Merci pour votre soutien."

[fuck, she's so hot]

"W-What?" Dino just glanced at her dumbfounded, taken aback by her quick answer, not remembering a single syllable that just dropped from her mouth. "What did you just say?"

[same dino, same]

Minnie couldn't help but laugh out loud at his reaction, stumbling back a few steps. Her cheerful sounds must've caught the attention of Wonwoo as he suddenly showed up next to her, bringing the girl into the middle of the two male members.

[and oop, there we go, the next dinonara appeared]

"'Thank you for your support' is 'merci pour votre soutien'"

"Ok," the youngest nodded slowly, "Merci-"

"Hm," Minnie supported him with a smile, "pour."

"Pour."

"Votre."

"V- Votre."

"Soutien. Sou-"

"Sou."

"Tien."

"Tien. Soutien?"

"Exactly," she nodded proudly.

[SHE'S SO PROUD OF HIM]

[LOOK AT HER SMILE]

[AW MINNIEEEEEE]

"Merci pour-" Dino stopped himself before continuing, glancing at her with squinted eyes as he tried to remember the correct pronunciation.

"Votre soutien," Wonwoo suddenly spoke up. "Merci pour votre soutien."

[HUIDHNIFJBHUZDGBP]

[I ACTUALLY JUST THREW MY PHONE AGAINST THE WALL]

[THIS MAN JUST DROPPED THIS SO EASILY]

[WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK]

[just when we thought he couldn't get hotter...]

With a shocked facial expression, the maknae looked at the '96 Liner. He pointed at him, "Who on earth do you know how to say it so perfectly?" 

[RIGHT?!]

[i mean i'm no french expert but that sounded pretty freaking good]

[also: if you have minnie as a teacher, you're gonna learn well either way]

Getting the rapper's signature deep laugh in return.

"I already taught him," Minnie chuckled, looking back at the other member as he caught himself again, a small smile still on his lips.

[this is a minnie x dino video, so could you quit acting like the cutest freaking lovebirds, my god]

[:)]

"Aaah, ok ok," the '99 Liner smiled along with the older duo. "Ok, so... Merci pour... votre... and then?"

"Soutien."

"Soutien is support?"

Minnie nodded.

"Merci pour votre soutien," Dino repeated her phrase slowly, looking straight at the French speaker of the group, whose eyes went wide in pride.

"Yes!" The girl clapped her hands, Wonwoo joining her.

[#proud #oursonisagenius]

The youngest turned towards the camera. "Carats, merci pour votre soutien."

"Well done," she patted his back, the proud grin not leaving her face.

[i could actually cry from the way she looks at him]

-

[Relay Pick] BALANCE GAME with SEVENTEEN ┃Performance Team

[teacher minnie strikes again]

[but yk, sometimes you gotta teach 'em about life]

The next two scenarios were presented to the unit.

"Peeling perilla leaves or peeling shrimps," Hoshi read out loud. Minnie's head popped out from behind his shoulder, trying to get a look at the screen ahead of them.

Dino, who was standing right behind her shook his head, "I don't really know this."

"Really?" The female member whipped her head around, looking up into the wide eyes of the maknae. "You never heard of that?" But he just shook his head. 

"Do you know this?" He asked her, to which she nodded.

"Of course, it was a big debate."

Jun, who was just as lost as the youngest of the group, had walked up to the screen, disappearing out of the camera's view.

"Look, it's like this, Jun," the performance unit leader started explaining. He took a step back, urging the others to do the same to create more space between them as he started.

"But why must it be perilla leaves?" Dino suddenly wondered, getting a chuckle out of the female member and making her turn around to describe the situation to him.

"Perilla leaves get easily stuck together, that's why they chose it."

He nodded along, "Aaah, ok ok."

[just accepting everything she tells him]

[i love them]

Mingyu's sudden voice surprised the duo that was deep into their own conversation.

"You're seriously so old fashioned," the '97 Liner commented, "it's a famous topic nowadays-"

"But that just means that he doesn't get jealous easily, that's good," Minnie fought back to the man she shared an apartment with.

[oh- there we go again hahahahaha]

"But he's part of the MZ generation, come on."

"No," a gentle pout formed on her lips as she took a small step back to place a hand on Dino's upper arm, "He's not the jealous type, it's a good thing. Old fashioned isn't bad anyways."

[THE WAY SHE DEFENDS HIM SO HARD]

With a smirk, the youngest turned towards his older sister. "But that means that you're really jealous, right? You know a lot about this topic."

[AND HE THROWS HER UNDER THE BUS JUST LIKE THAT]

[wow dino...]

[she got called out fr]

Minnie's expression changed when she glanced up at him with an open mouth, surprised by his statement. Hoshi moved to the side to take a look at the duo, chuckling at the situation when laughter in the background could also be heard, followed by Minghao and Jun who joined in.

"No!" The girl defended herself quickly, shoving him away from her. "I'm just... I'm into popular stuff at the moment, so I know about discussions like this."

[MH, sure...]

"No, noona. You just admitted that if you know about this, you're a person that gets easily jealous-"

"Alright, but it's not a good thing!" She quickly gave in, getting another round of laughter from the members in front of and behind the camera.

[this is were the real sibling energy is coming through]

[why would he call her out like that in front of the camera hahahaha]

"But how can it be considered normal for a friend to do things like that with your partner?" She whined out loud.

"Well," Hoshi answered her, "It depends on how good their relationship is, I guess."

"It's TOO GOOD if my friend does these things!" 

[ngl... i feel a very deep and desperate need to see jealous minnie]

[pls]

[i NEED it]

A soft hit on her shoulder made her chuckle. Turning to the side, she found the youngest leaning into her, his laughter ringing through her ears.

"It's okay, noona." Infecting her with his joy.

[YEAH, CALL HER OUT FOR BEING JEALOUS BUT THEN TELL HER IT'S OKAY]

[little siblings, istg...]

"I'm okay with peeling shrimps," the leader made his final decision, "but the perilla leaf one is weird." He stepped to the side to leave a stunned Minnie in the middle - Dino, with a matching facial expression, right behind her.

"What?"

"Why?"

"Amazing..." Minghao added to the shock.

[they were NOT having it]

[but i get it bc same]

"Peeling it by hands like this," the maknae imitated the action of peeling a shrimp to the rest of the group.

"That's so much worse!" The girl agreed with him. "You take your time to peel it... only to then give it to the partner of your best friend?!" She turned to Hoshi. "That's not okay."

[SHE GETS IT]

"I agree," Dino nodded, linking his arm with hers as he dragged her in the opposite direction in which their leader had gone.

[dino went from not knowing anything about this topic to agreeing with his noona]

[gotta love them]

-

[GOING SEVENTEEN] COMEBACK SPECIAL: God of Light Music #1

[i'm so obsessed with every pi cheolin x minnie/a minnie character interaction]

[why do her characters literally ALWAYS have beef with him HAHAHA]

[but i think that might need to be a seperate video ngl]

[anyways, the following few scenes have still made it into this video just bc i love them so much]

"And I've also been working with a lyricist recently," Woozi explained to the man in front of him.

"Ooh," Pi Cheolin sat up straighter, "Who is this new lyricist?"

"Her name is Minnie, but she sometimes goes by Minhee."

"Minhee?" The man's face scrunched up in almost disgust. "I don't like that name." 

['i don't like her name' when it's literally her government name😭]

Getting a chuckle out of Woozi that he couldn't hold back. "Where's she from?"

"She's from abroad. Europe," the '96 Liner continued. "Young and very talented."

"I see..." Dino, deep into his character, glanced around the room. "Then she must be really good in English, right?"

Woozi nodded, "Yeah, she lived in England before. She writes a lot of her lyrics in English, actually. And I, ehm-" he cleared his throat. "I actually asked her to accompany me here today to this meeting, I hope that's okay."

"Oh, of course, of course!" Pi Cheolin raised his arms up into the air. "The more, the better!"

The producer nodded with a smile, "Good, good. She should be here any second, I think." Just right after he had said that, a knock shook through the door.

"Come in!" Pi Cheolin shouted out. 

Only a second later, the door opened to reveal the face of the girl they had just mentioned, peaking in to look around. Her eyes held still on Woozi's form, but before she could say anything, the man in the hat shot up from the chair.

"Minnie! You must be Minnie!" With a hard push, he jumped up onto his feet, his chair hitting the wooden shelves behind him before rushing over to the female member. 

[bruh HAHAHA]

"What a beautiful young lady!" 

[he's too good in this role, i love him]

Without warning, he grabbed her by her upper arms and pulled her in, letting first their right cheeks touch, then the left ones. Each time, he added an overly dramatic kissing sound.

[STOP]

"O- Oh- ok-," Minnie looked at him taken aback as soon as they were face to face again.

[so this was definitely not scripted, i guess]

[HAHAHAHAHA]

Pi Cheolin smiled brightly at her. "That's how you greet people in Europe, right?"

"I- sure? I guess?" She just shrugged.

[her new personality: europe]

Harsher than needed, the man patted her arms, making her almost wince.

[i can't] 

"I'm glad to finally meet you!" Without looking at her again, he turned back around to go to his seat. "Please, take a seat! I heard so much about you."

Minnie directed her eyes towards Woozi as she claimed the chair right next to him, raising her eyebrows to ask him 'Really?"

He shrugged, "I only just started telling him about you. I don't know what he's talking about."

With a slow and unsure nod, she sat down.

[they're too good]

-

"I have to be honest with you, Minnie," Pi Cheolin suddenly turned seriously after the three had just negotiated the producer-writer duo to join his agency.

"Ok..." the girl carefully answered, fiddling with her fingers in her lap.

With his teeth tightly pressed together, he hissed in a breath. "Minhee. Your other name."

"My legal name, yes."

"We have to change it." He simply stated.

"What?" Minnie stopped with every little action she was previously doing, glancing over at the man. "But that's my real name. My grandma gave me-"

"We need to change it," he interrupted her, making her send an unamused look right into the camera. 

[he really don't give a fuck about the grandma huh?]

For a second the room fell into complete silence. Pi Cheolin had a finger on his chin, looking like he was deep in his thoughts. "What about..." he spoke before stopping for a bit again. "Minstar!" He shouted out, surprising both members, making them cover their mouths as chuckles escaped their lips.

[HOW IS HE NOT DYING FROM LAUGHING]

[MINSTAR?! HOW DO YOU EVEN COME UP WITH THAT SHIT]

"Minstar?" The girl wondered.

The man nodded. "Yeah. 'Min', from Minnie. And 'star' because you are A STAR!" The sudden change to English was all it took for another round of quiet chuckles to fill the room.

[he's so random for what]

After not getting an answer in return, with Woozi covering his face with one hand and Minnie turned around towards the wall, trying to calm down her laughter, Pi Cheolin continued.

With his arms opened wide and a big grin plastered on his face, he stared at the two. "Do you love it or do you love it?"

The girl just sent him a thumbs-up.

[i just KNOW i could never hold it together in front of the camera]

[i know, out of all the members minnie falls out of character the most, but i would be so much worse omg]

[how could you not if you have someone in front of you playing this old man just a little too well for it not to be real?!]

-

As soon as the three walked into the recording studio, where Wonwoo, Jeonghan and Dokyeom aka Leo, Charles and Seokmin, Minnie was holding her hand up to cover her mouth, unable to keep any grins hidden as soon as her eyes fell on her fellow members.

[she was having a hard time keeping it together for literally the entire episode]

[but who could blame her]

They stood up to greet the CEO, producer and lyricist.

"Have you seen these guys before?" Pi Cheolin asked, pointing at the trio in front of them.

Minnie and Woozi shook their head. "We've never met them before," the '96 Liner answered for both of them as the female member was busy wiping away the tears that had fallen from her eyes due to her laughter.

"Oh, is that right?" The man exclaimed. "Then I'll introduce you-" As soon as he turned to the girl, who was crouched over, he stopped. "Are you okay? What's so funny?" 

She was quick to catch herself, standing up straight again, "Nothing. Nothing. I'm okay."

With a slight squint, Pi Cheolin glared at her. "Lyricists need to be a bit more serious, I think."

[oh okay]

"I'll try my best," she promised him.

"Well then, let me introduce you to the best singers in the industry! Say hello, starting with you," he pointed at the '95 Liner, who revealed his age and name, followed by Wonwoo until they landed on Dokyeom.

But instead of talking to them, the '97 Liner started moving around, showing them a variety of what could only be described as 'tiktok moves from 2019'. Minnie couldn't hold it again and gave in as she turned to the side slightly, trying to ignore her fellow member in front of her. Pi Cheolin was having none of that.

"No, no," he grabbed her shoulders and turned her back around. "It's rude not to look at people when they introduce themselves." The girl just nodded.

[PLS LET THIS GIRL LIVE IN PEACE]

After a few more seconds, the CEO took the word again. "Your name... what's your name?"

"Seokminie," Dokyeom answered him.

"Oh, Seokminie?" Pi Cheolin's eyes widened. He surprised the girl with a slap on the back. 

[why is he like this]

"See! Another reason why you have to change your name." But she just continued to stare at him. "So people don't confuse you two!" Pointing between the '97 Liners.

"So they don't confuse us?"

[...]

"Yes! Look at you two. You could be twins. Both young. Both attractive." 

[DINO😭]

No comment was made to his statement as everyone was trying to hold in their giggles. Minnie shook her head.

After a few more jokes back and forth, including Seokmin shouting into their ears and bursting their eardrums, everyone had sat down.

"So!" Pi Cheolin suddenly stood up again. "Now, I'll introduce my trusted people right here." He placed both of his hands on the female member's shoulders, making her tense up slightly, which he noticed right away.

"Aah, don't be so tense, Minstar," he started massaging her shoulders, clearly not in a comforting way though as her face scrunched up and she tried to free herself from his grasp. 

[MINSTAR]

[he's really going through with it]

After a few seconds, he stopped, only to squish her face in between his hands. "This is Minnie. We call her Minstar because she is A STAR!" His hands started moving around, squishing her cheeks a slight bit more. "

[minnie is so much stronger than i am bc i would actually beat him up as soon as the cameras go down, but i just know she lets him do this bc he's dino and she loves him]

[bc imagine if this was seungkwan]

I mean look at her." The room went quiet. "Look at her beauty. Her talent. You can smell her intelligence." Another moment of silence washed over the group after he took a big and loud sniff. 

[JUST WHY]

"I see, you agree with me." He freed her again, making her touch her own cheeks again and frown at the camera.

"Let's move on to Woozi, the genius producer!"

-

[GOING SEVENTEEN] Don't Lie III #1

[something about dino in this episode was just so pure and cute]

The members cleaned up nicely. Each one of them was wearing a personalised, colour-coded outfit for the filming of the third part of their Don't Lie series. Minnie was sharing the couch with Minghao, Seungkwan and Jeonghan, sitting between the '95 and '98 Liner.

After going through the casualties and flaming Mingyu along the way, the group decided to let Dino be the first in the starting round of the Lie Detector test.

He got down to the floor, to sit right in front of the coffee table with the machine on top of it. After securing his hand with the velcro seal, one of the producers behind the camera started to explain the rules.

"After detecting your heart rate, when you're asked a question, press the button and answer-" 

The members listened attentively, some nodding along to her words, but the maknae seemed as lost as he possibly could be. Dino looked to his left, making the girl chuckle as she could practically see the wheels in his head turning.

"How?" He suddenly asked, his eyes wide in lostness. 

[THE CONFUSION]

[oh dino]

The group couldn't hold back laughing at his reaction.

Not even a second later, Minnie was already up on her feet, Jeonghan's hand on her back, dropping down to his side. 

[she literally only smiled before she SHOT UP to get to him]

[the older sister instincts KICKED IN]

[also: pretty sure jeonghan kinda like pushed her forward bc he saw his baby in need]

She walked over to him and crouched down on the floor, her knees hitting the carpet as she tried to explain it again in simpler terms. But his eyes told her everything she needed to know - he still had no idea what to do. It just made her chuckle even more.

[minnie pls he just needs your help]

[pls help him]

"I'll do it for you. I'll activate it," Minnie placed a hand on his shoulder while her other one was on top of the coffee table, close to the lie detector. All Dino now had to do was listen to the question and answer truthfully.

-

"Noona!"

The female member whipped her head around at the sound of the youngest's voice. An awaiting smile was already plastered on her face.

With quick but short steps, Dino was right in front of her within a second.

"Is there a pharmacist?" He wondered in a hushed tone.

[i love how she was the first person he thought of to ask]

With scrunched eyebrows, clearly confused by the random question, the girl looked at him.

"What?"

"Is there a pharmacist in the game?"

"A pharmacist? Like... someone that works in a pharmacy?" She repeated his words, still unsure if she had understood him correctly. After getting a nod from the maknae, she spoke up again. "Why?"

Dino quickly glanced at his left and right, before leaning into her just a little bit closer and lowering his voice. "Jeonghan said he's the pharmacist," he explained, "I didn't even know there was such a role."

[well ngl i wouldn't believe anything that comes from jeonghan's mouth after being with him in the same group for this long of a time]

[the trust issues i have with this man are unreal]

"Aaah," Minnie nodded, almost unable to hold back her chuckle. After having dealt with the older's mischief for far too long, and getting involved in it for just as long, she immediately saw right through the lie.

You could see her eyes looking around the room as she debated her next statement - she could play into it, or she could tell him the truth.

But with those boba eyes looking right at her, she only had one option.

"No," she shook her head with a grin. "He's just joking with you. There's no pharmacist role."

[BUT DINO AND MINNIE, TRUST ISSUES?! NEVER]

"Really? Are you sure?"

Minnie nodded.

"But he keeps on collecting little pieces of paper that he finds," Dino imitated the size of the mentioned paper slips.

"I don't know... maybe he wrote them earlier? He was writing something before we started filming." The female member dropped the truth, making the youngest look at her with an open mouth.

[she even reveals jeonghan's secrets to dino, like what]

"Aaah... wow..." he shook his head. "He's really passionate about this game."

[he IS REALLY passionate about that game]

[but so is everyone else of you, sooo...]

The female member laughed as she agreed with him by nodding again.

-

[GOING SEVENTEEN] Runner-Up Sports Day #2

Part of the members were standing in a line, waiting for the next instructions during their filming. Vernon was holding the ball they'd be using for the dodgeball match that was coming up. It was fairly windy, but Minnie had found out the Mingyu was a good wind blocker, explaining why she was standing to his left. 

[the gose producer's caption 'the great wall of mingyu' was perfect]

Dino was next to her, on her other side.

The group had fallen into a comfortable conversation, forgetting about the multiple cameras on them for just a few minutes.

After finding out that the only members to know about 'Shaun the Sheep' were Vernon and Minnie, Dokyeom had another question,

"Who knows 'Fairly Odd Parents?"

The youngest member of the hip-hop unit turned to the '97 Liner, continuing to subconsciously play with the ball in his hand.

"Ah, the Nickelodean cartoon?"

Dokyeom confirmed his wonder.

Minnie was fixing her hair when the maknae spoke up after a chuckle fell from his lips,

"My nickname in elementary school was Jimmy Neutron." The girl next to him fell into a fit of giggles, her head falling back as she was surprised and most definitely amused by the sudden comment. "My head was so big back then," Dino continued to explain.

[AWWWWW]

With a pout, the female member reached out to touch his arm, leaning forward to rest her forehead on his shoulder, hiding her amusement.

[she adores this man so much]

Without even thinking twice, Mingyu opened his mouth, "It still is." Followed by a chuckle.

[PLS]

[MINGYU]

[no filter]

Minnie's head immediately shot up. Her eyes wide, but her lips pressed together, trying to keep the corner of her lips from curling. She turned to her side and got a groan from her fellow '97 Liner in return as his hand flew up to where she had just smacked him on the chest.

[go off big sister minnie!]

[getting ready for defence]

With a sarcastic unamused facial expression, Dino commented on his statement. "You say such nice things." To which the girl was quick to turn to him, 

"Awww," she laughed out and let her hand come up to cup his cheek, leaning onto his shoulder once again.

[PURE ADORATION]

-

In the Soop 1 Ep. 2

[what i want to say:]

[i am very sorry to end this video with this in the soop moment]

[BUT]

[it's literally probably my all time favourite minnie x dino moment, EVER]

[we see them always acting all sweet and loving and just caring for each other]

[but this... this was so much than that]

[and i still cry whenever i watch it]

All of the members left to do their individual things. Some had started getting ready for bed. Others were already sleeping. A few had gone into the kitchen for snacks. The only ones left outside were Dino and Minnie. As it was starting to get colder, Minnie had thrown a blanket around her body, while the maknae had chosen a jacket to keep him warm. The girl had started to collect some of the trash left behind by the other guys and put together the empty bottles of alcohol, so they'd have it easier to throw away.

It was quiet. The only sounds filling the open outdoors were coming from the river from a distance and the crickets and other insects that you'd find close to the woods.

Dino's eyes were trained on the female member, following her every movement. 

[i don't know what it is, but dino just gazing at her is something that hits me so hard]

[like, a lot of the members look at minnie in a specific way, but dino... it's very special]

[again: pure adoration]

He stayed quiet, feeling just a bit sorry that he wasn't helping her, but the sudden rush of tiredness had surprised him - Minnie knew that and wouldn't comment on it.

Then the maknae suddenly broke the comfortable silence, "I'm really proud of you, noona."

[LITERALLY STARTED TEARING UP ALREADY]

The girl stopped in her tracks. She lifted her head to meet his gaze. "What?" She chuckled. "All of a sudden?"

"No," he shook his head almost shyly, immediately crossing his arms in front of his chest. "I've been wanting to tell you things like that, but... I've never found the right time."

The female member stopped her actions, taking a seat in the chair that Seungkwan had previously occupied. 

[notice how she literally dropped everything and just sat down to listen?]

"Well..." she took a deep breath, "Do you think now is the right time? Do you want to talk to me?"

"I always want to talk to you, but...," Dino admitted, looking down at his hands before up at the older member again. "I don't really know... how to say it well."

"You can always talk to me. I'm always all ears for you, you know that," Minnie reached out to get a hold of the glass of water one of the members had left for her.

[first tears started falling]

"I know- Of course, I know." The maknae gulped. "But I really am proud of you."

The girl's eyebrows shot up as she tried to fight a pout. "Thank you, I'm really proud of you too."

Dino nodded. "You've been working so hard, so I... I just wanted to tell you that. Especially this year, you've been working a lot- I mean, you've always been working very hard with writing lyrics and helping Woozi... and also doing photoshoots and promoting Seventeen so well."

"Thank you, Channie," she smiled at her younger member who had been trying to avoid her gaze. 

[something about her using his real name seems so special]

[i mean, maybe it was the alcohol]

[but also maybe not]

She continued, "But you should be really proud of yourself too. You've been doing a lot for not only the group but also for yourself. You've grown a lot over the past few years. You can be very proud of that."

Dino's eyes were fixed on nothing specific as he just glanced into the dark emptiness to his right.

"Do-" he suddenly started again. Minnie was still waiting patiently for him to speak, a soft smile plastered on her face as she couldn't take her eyes off the maknae. "Do you ever feel like you've missed out on something?"

She scrunched her eyebrows, "What do you mean with 'something'?"

He took a deep breath, brushing his hands over his thighs as he looked down. "That's something I've always wanted to ask you... but I was never sure if... if you wanted to talk about it." He took another second to let the question fall from his lips. "...Do... you ever feel... like you've missed out on something because you're in a group with us?"

"Because you're guys?" She wondered.

The maknae nodded. "I've been wondering about that for a long time I think, but especially now... and... after our contract renewal- I don't know-" he shook his head slightly. "I just... I was asking myself that. And if... like- do you ever think about how you're life as an idol in a girl group would've been?"

[HE WAS WORRIED ABOUT HER FOR SUCH A LONG TIME]

[AND NOW HE'S ASKING HER ABOUT THIS]

[bc of the contract renewal]

[makes me kinda think what if he was scared that she wouldn't want to renew it bc of that exact reason]

[brb gotta dry my tears]

A nearly sad chuckle tumbled from Minnie's lips as she looked at the younger member in front of her. "Why are you wondering about that?" Sounding almost concerned.

[fr don't make us cry like that]

Dino shrugged. "I was always wondering about you... and the group... but... when the contract renewal became a topic... I... almost started to feel bad, I think." Minnie decided to stay quiet to let him continue and give him as much time as he needed. "I was thinking about if...if we were maybe taking something from you... or... just in general... if you feel pressured into resigning maybe for some reason."

[...]

[...]

[...]

[WE DO NOT DESERVE THIS MAN]

"Ah..." Minnie sighed, looking down at her own hands, "Why are you worrying so much, Dino?" As soon as she looked up again, the camera, as well as the youngest, caught her glassy eyes. She didn't get an answer from him in return as he just continued to look at her.

"I..." she started quietly, her right hand brushing through her hair as she looked up at the sky and gulped. "I definitely- during the contract negotiations, thought a lot about the future and... also, of course, the past and... everything that has happened and what we've been through and... also how my mindset used to be in the beginning, you know? Because it changed a lot."

"What do you mean?"

"I... I- like you asked about me missing out on something. I never felt like that. I never thought that I was missing out on... for example, being in a girl group. Because... all of you make me so so happy. And... I know that every single member is, like- I know that all of your guys' kindness and support, and... just everything about you... I couldn't ask for anything more, because... it's so much more than I could've ever imagined already. And so much better and... I don't deserve any-"

"No no, stop," he was quick to interrupt her. "You deserve everything, noona. You deserve so much more."

[i don't want to interrupt this beautiful moment but yes, I'm crying]

"No, stop!" She chuckled.

"You really deserve this."

"Well, you do too!"

"But you're doubting yourself right now!" He argued back with a sad smile.

Minnie stopped him with a wave of her hand. "No, no, I'm not, don't worry. I mean... I don't know who even in this world would deserve a group as wonderful as Seventeen, you know?"

[facts]

"You do, noona."

[BUT EVEN MORE FACTS]

"Ah, stop, you're gonna make me cry!" 

[you and me both sis]

The female member chuckled as she covered her sight with one hand before trying to wipe away the tears that had gathered in the corner of her eyes.

"No, don't! Please don't" Dino giggled along with her trying to find a napkin he could hand her. After his eyes landed on one clean one, he reached out with it for her to grab. Minnie thanked him.

"There were definitely times where... I doubted if I should be in a group like this, you know?" 

[NO MINNIE DON'T DO THIS TO MY HEART]

She continued, and the maknae nodded while listening attentively. "Especially shortly after our debut... and during our trainee years," she cleared her throat, sitting up just a bit straighter. "None of the members have ever made me feel... like... I'm not a part of the group. You've always made me feel very included and... accepted... and just... never made me feel different, but... just... my own mindset and a lot of other things, you know? It sometimes told me that... I'm not- I'm not supposed to be here. That it's supposed to be only you guys-"

"But without you, something would definitely be missing."

"Thank you," she whispered, feeling the tears pool up again. "But I've learned not to listen to that and... just enjoy the time that we have right now. And... that made me realise that there is nothing better I could ever ask for. During our trainee days, I- I've definitely felt a bit lonely at times, of course, because... I was also growing into an adult, and that's a hard time already. But... I'm just so thankful for all of you... that's why I renewed it. I definitely didn't feel pressured by anything. I just... I couldn't imagine what else I would be doing, you know? I love you all so much, and I'm so thankful... I just want to hold onto every single member for as long as I can."

By the end of Minnie's speech, Dino's eyes had also turned slightly more glassy than before, but he continued to nod along to every word she spoke.

[seeing him like this in front of her is actually breaking my heart]

"During our trainee days, I don't think I thought much about it, but as I'm getting older, I started to realise that some times must've been very lonely for you. And I couldn't help but to feel sorry about that. Because... I don't want you to ever feel lonely. We all appreciate you so much and we hope that you can see and feel that... we really do. But when I was younger, all I thought was that it was weird but cool to have so many older brothers and one older sister because I never had that. And then... especially to have you as a sister... someone I know I can always rely on and ask for help and who I know will support me... but getting older, I just had to start thinking about what this all must be like for you. And that it must be very- ah, noona!"

And this point, there were already too many tears to count that were running down Minnie's face. She chuckled at the youngest's reaction, trying to pat away the stains on her cheeks, the silence of the night now also filled with her sobs.

"I didn't want you to cry, I'm sorry," the maknae spoke gently as he stood up, quickly wiping away his own tears that had started to fall before he pushed one of the chairs as close as possible to her. After taking a seat, he was quick to wrap his arm around her shoulder, pulling her into a comforting side hug.

"I just wanted to talk to you about this because I was thinking about it and I noticed that you're never complaining about it and have never said anything about this."

[i will stop interrupting now bc i don't even know what to say anymore]

[i love them so much]

[both of them deserve the world]

"Dino..."

"What?" He chuckled at her sigh.

"You've grown so much. You shouldn't be worrying about me or us in general like that," the tears were still running down her cheeks, but she was able to speak normally.

The maknae shook his head, "Don't say that. We all worry about each other."

"Yeah, but," she snuffled, "You're our maknae..." and looked up at him as his grip around her softened. "You haven't acted like a maknae since... I don't even know... since never. And... it's kind of... really hard to watch you grow up so quickly because... it's okay if you want to act like the maknae. You can act like a maknae! It's okay. That's what we expect from you. To see you all grown up like this and think so much about worries that shouldn't even cross your mind is really scary..."

Now it was Dino's time to look up, trying to blink away his tears. Minnie took his hand into her grasp with a sad smile.

"Please don't think that you have to grow up quickly. I feel like you couldn't even enjoy your youth much because you became a trainee so young-"

"You became a trainee at 13 too," the youngest told her with a somewhat chuckle.

Minnie nodded with a smile, "Yeah, but I was almost an adult when we debuted. You weren't. And... I feel like that may have made you want to grow up quicker than we wanted you to." She reached out to touch his cheek, running her thumb over the fresh tears that had escaped his eyes. "Please don't worry about us so much. Focus on your youth and enjoy it. And be a maknae at times. Don't be so mature, you're gonna make me sad to see you grow up!" Her scolding made both of them laugh and lean into each other.

"But-" Dino cleared his throat, "I feel like you never talk about your struggle and that worries me. I can't help but worry. You're a special person in the group. Of course, I'm gonna worry about my older sister."

"But you shouldn't," she patted his hand again. "I... I sometimes do talk to... Coups-oppa, especially. But you know... everyone has their own worries, so I don't want to hurt anyone with my worries even more."

"I know..." the maknae copied her soft tone.

"It's hard sometimes, but... yeah... everyone is struggling a little bit differently, but we all learn how to deal with it. And... we know that we can always rely on each other."

Dino nodded again. "And I just wanted you to know that you can always also rely on me."

"I know," Minnie told him in a whisper, another round of tears already making their way down her cheeks again. "But don't worry," She took a deep breath, "A lot of happy things have happened recently, so... I'm very happy as well." And smiled shyly, making the maknae copy her expression.

"I'm really happy for you." His whisper hit her ears oh so softly.

"Thank you." With a big smile, she wrapped her arms around the muscular frame of the '99 Liner. "Just remember that you'll always be our maknae. You're not the oldest here, so don't feel pressured to act like it."

"I know," he buried his face deeper into her neck. "You're a very important part of the group. And also to me. I mean it... I don't know what I would do without you, noona. I really love you."

"I love you too, Channie," she tightened the hug, noticing him doing the same, making her smile. After they released each other again, the female member took another look at the maknae. 

"And you can always talk to me. You don't have to wait for a good moment or something like that. If you need to talk to me, I will listen. Doesn't matter when or where."

Dino decided to just nod, scared of the lump in his throat that was about to appear again.

[they both have been through literally so much individually]

[i'm so glad they found towards each other]

[if none of the moments from before convinced you that they need each other, i hope this one did]

[i really hope that they will be forever happy and healthy]

[also:]

[i'm actually convinced that finding someone that cares about me as much as minnie and dino care about each other would heal me from inside out]

Taglist: @waosobii @chaebb @lunarxsun @hoe4wonwoo @kimhyejin3108 @soobzao @billboard-singer @cosmicwintr @zwiehe @alixnsuperstxr @angie-x3 @smooore @allthings-fandoms

[aithusarosekiller]

fic recs, some positivity for your blog!!

(all on ao3, it's all i use)

"only the brave" by solmussa is genuinely my favourite fic ever (in my years of obsessive fanfic reading), it's got jegulus, wolfstar, dorlene, rosekiller, pandalily, amazing ocs (elspeth fawley my love my darling my beloved), MOONWATER FRIENDSHIP SUPREMACY, regulus being an evil (not actually) mastermind and literally i like fucking cannot. i cant even begin to describe how much i love this fic, 100/10 absolutely recommend reading if you haven't already [completed, 64 chapters, 645k words]

"go east" by xinasvoice is a wolfstar howls moving castle au, literally need i say more [completed, 11 chapters, 84k words]

"threes family" and it's sequel "eights company" by darkbluedark, im obsessed with marauders time travel fics if you couldn't tell [threes family is complete, 5 chapters, almost 20k words; eights company is a wip, 3 chapters, 15k words]

"the golden king" by maladaptivewriting, another time travel fic!! jegulus, wolfstar, drarry, regulus being a slayboss icon as per usual [wip, but already has 123 chapters and almost 500k words]

"like real people do" by arins_writings has jegulus, wolfstar, dorlene, time travel (yippie!!!), enemies to lovers, forced (ish) proximity and all sorts of shit that makes my autism happy [completed, 60 chapters, 201k words. sequel is a wip, 6 chapters, 16k words]

"into the dark" by phantomgrimalkin another time travel fic!!! wolfstar, jily, drarry, bastard rat ass motherfucker albus dumbledore [complete, 20 chapters, 88k words]

"(i will) wear you down" by rainiris is an amazing motherfucking concept, really slow updates but is absolutely worth it. jegulus, wolfstar, marylily, dorlene, past jily (and harry!), basically regulus fakes his death but james goes looking for him, the cutie patootie [wip, 18/32 chapters, 121k words]

"you only live twice" by drift99 is also really good, it's wolfstar, jily (jegulily later on ehehe), polyamory time travel bullshit (literally my favourite kind of bullshit). remus and hermione saving the world, underrated friendship tbh [completed, 47 chapters, 95k words]

"anti-hero" by rweoutofthewoods has jegulus, wolfstar, bamf regulus, moonwater friendship!!! regulus fakes his death, but remus finds him. platonic soulmates istg. also has marylily but it doesn't end well for them :((… [completed, 41 chapters, 237k words]

"dear your holiness" by mollymarymarie is basically, at it's barest bones, a wolfstar fleabag au. priest remus lupin, modern au, sorta-partly-kinda texting fic, very very sacrilegious, and a happy ending! [completed, 12 chapters, 142k words]

"saccharine" by moonymoment is a sweet little (maybe not little, but shorter than my usual 100k+ word fics) wolfstar modern ghost au! background jily, happy ending, basically sirius is a ghost that haunts remus' apartment and its really domestic

if you've read any/all of these pls lmk what you think i love to talk about the marauders

OMG HIIII

I also only use ao3 so don't you even worry 😭 ao3 is my baby I live there

THIS IS PERFECT TIMING bc i started only the brave last year big for some reason stopped? Idk if it was school work or something but I've been telling myself that this summer im gonna read it all the way through because I remember loving the writing and the story so I can't wait to sit and get all the way through it again. I've already seen so many spoilers but I'm gonna pretend I haven't 💀

I've been subscribed to the golden king since Reg's first Diagon trip and it LOVE IT SO MUCH 😭 the bond with Harry, the relationship with Sirius creeping back, the entire MESS with James. I love it. So good.

Okay about like real people do 😭 I SWEAR I MUST HAVE READ IT???? I love time-travel and I love Jegulus and I love long fics....and I SWEAR it rings a bell in my mind so tell me why I just went over to ao3 to double check and I literally cannot remember it 😞 maybe I read a bit then lost the tab???? Or started smth else and forgot to go back???? Either way it's going back onto the tbr bc why the hell would I not have read it all that's insane. Thank you for reviving my pea-memory so I can come back to this one 🙏

I LOVE ANTI HERO SO SO MUCH DUDE like I remember reading it last year and not putting my phone down until it was done, it's a PROBLEM. Whenever I think about reg lives I think about that even when I've read so many others with the concept it's just so...AAAAA. The desert scene of forever stuck in my mind for some reason idk 😭

I personally will probably not read the others (the people who know my blog could smell this coming, I see you) because wolfstar and jily aren't really my thing anymore (I dealt with a few elitist/aggressive fans over the years which has unfortunately just completely put me off being able to enjoy any content for them anymore :( still makes me sad icl) but!! I will tag it with them so all the people who DO love them can see these recs and go and read them if they haven't already because the premises look SO cool

[coeluvr]

Girl where are you? Miss your gut wrenching posts

It hasn't even been a week since my last post! 😭

I go quiet when I'm being crazy about my writing, sorry I went silent on all platforms! 💔

I started rewriting the first scene of chapter 4 because of Patreon stuff right because I'm some kind of perfectionist who does not deliver perfection lmao. The first scene now has 23k words due to crazy rewriting... But it's mainly because of 30 different branching scenes due to coping mechanisms and hobbies... and me adding more conversation bits.

I hate myself for it being that much but oh well 🥲 Let's not even get into the part where MC gets a pet... I make myself sick with the wordcount but I'm sure everyone will be happy about it lol.

I am so not back but I felt bad for not being here that much lol so I'll be here today kinda. 🙏

For my Patreon people who I ghosted for a week and promised a 15k demo to... At least you're getting much more so don't boo me please! 🙇‍♀️

[builtbybrokenbells]

Gold Dust Woman | xiv

Apologies and confessions lead to a climactic end for Gold Dust Woman.

Read part thirteen here

Listen while reading: the chain - fleetwood mac (other songs mentioned but not really important to the story)

Pairing: Jake Kiszka x f!reader, Sam Kiszka x f!reader, Danny Wagner x OC

Word Count: 15k

Warnings: SMUT 18+, unprotected sex, semi-public sex, oral (f!receiving), touch of voyeurism, biting, lots of dirty talk, brief mention of spitting, touch of degradation, drinking, swearing, angst, arguing, breakups, crying, insecurity, self doubt, feelings of regret, anger, lots of fluff near the end 🫶🏻, sorry if I miss any!!

The last chapter 😭 these last few months of writing this story has been absolutely spectacular for me. the love and support and engagement I’ve received from you all has been mind blowing, and I’m so thankful for each and every one of you. Without you guys, Gold Dust Woman would be nothing. So thank you from the bottom of my heart, and I really hope that you enjoy the ending as much as I did. As always, be kind, enjoy, and don’t mind any grammar mistakes 🫶🏻🫶🏻 (very lightly edited so please forgive me 😁)

“Sam,” You sighed, setting your coffee cup down with a shaking hand. “We have to talk.” You said, much less hesitation about your choices, now. It seemed like clarity had become you the minute you had realized Jake was the best person for you. You knew it was true, mostly because you had not felt one shred of anxiety that even came close to what you had been feeling all day. No, you weren’t excited to break Sam’s heart, but you were certainly less apprehensive about it than you were with Jake.

“That doesn’t sound good,” he said, stress already showing in his features. You managed a small smile, your stomach sick at the knowledge you would effectively have to go through two breakups in a single day.

“No, I guess it isn’t.” You said, moving to take a seat on the couch. “Sit with me?”

“Yeah, okay.” He whispered, sitting down beside you. You ran your hands over the fabric of your jeans, drawing in a long breath as you tried to settle your thoughts. Eventually, you looked over at him, noticing the sadness in his eyes before you even spoke a word. It killed you knowing that you had to be the bad guy despite months of trying to figure out how to end up the hero. The sad truth was, in the entanglement you had all found yourselves in, nobody could be the hero, yet you all seemed to fall somewhere under the victim category. So much suffering, yet no one to blame or save you from the pain.

“I love you, Sam.” You started, making sure that despite the impending doom, he knew that you still had so much love for him in your heart. Just because you were not going to be his forever did not mean that he wasn’t holding on to a huge part of you. “And I have for a really long time.”

“I know, y/n. I love you, too.” He said, watching expectantly as he prepared for the worst possible outcome of the conversation. You leaned back into the cushions, exhausted from the days events already, comforted none by the knowledge that it would only get worse from there. You reached out, grabbing his hand in your own and giving it a gentle squeeze.

“There’s a saying that’s always stuck out to me,” you explained, tone quiet and as relaxed as possible. “If you don’t receive the love from the ones meant to love you, you’ll spend the rest of your life searching for it. I feel like up until now, that’s exactly what I’ve been doing. I’ve been looking for so long that I’m starting to go blind, and I’m missing the entire point of being alive.” You laughed at your own stupidity, finding your search for love quite comical in the moment. You had spent a lifetime trying to find something that you never really believed in, and now that two blatant contradictions to your disbelief happened to be staring you in the face, you had no idea how to address it. “I don’t remember who said it, but it’s always stuck with me. I always thought it was you, Sammy. I really did. I wish it was, because it kills me to do this to you, but it’s not.”

“Oh,” he breathed, nodding his head slowly as he absorbed the information you were giving him. It was a heavy hit, especially after you had stormed into the room with such excitement to see him, but he managed to persevere.

“I’m sorry,” you whispered, hoping to catch his eye to show him you were being genuine.

“You don’t have to be, Princess.” He assured you, letting out a long sigh. He could be all but mad at you, for he had made the bed that you were forcing him to lie in. “I knew the risks, and it was worth it. It was always worth it, for you.” He said, looking up to meet your face. “Y/n, I meant every single thing I said to you over the last few months; I care that you’re happy, and if this will make you happy, I can live with it.”

“You have no idea how badly I wish that it could’ve been us. I see Danny and Dylan, and I’m so envious that I never got to have that with you. It’s been so hard since the very beginning… I just feel like I never got to have you the way I wanted to.” You felt the tears brimming in your eyes once again, unsure if you could make it through the conversation without cracking. Everything hurt, and you had no idea how to stop it. Sometimes, you believed as though pain was the only thing you knew how to feel. “I love you so much Sam, and I’m lucky that I got the chance to have you at all, even if it was different than how I pictured it. These last few months were beautiful, and they taught me so much. Even if it didn’t work out the way we hoped does not mean it meant nothing to me.” Your cheeks were soaked with the admissions of your guilt, tears falling at an unprecedented rate and showing no signs of stopping. You couldn’t control it, and at this point, you didn’t really care to. Sorrow was heavy in the air, constantly following you and making home even when you tried so hard to keep it out. There was no shame in displaying your heart to him, because that’s all you knew how to do, anymore.

“Hey, come on.” He pleaded, reaching up to wipe your cheeks clean. “Don’t waste all of those tears on me. God knows I don’t deserve it.” He said, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear.

“You do, Sam. You deserve the world, and I wish that I could have given it to you.” You cried, leaning into his touch in hopes that it would take away some of the pain. “Maybe I could have loved you better if I loved myself more. I might have found the courage to say something sooner, and we could be living in the universe where we’re happy and everything is okay.”

“This isn’t your fault, y/n.” He said, fighting back tears of his own. “It’s mine; I should have said something sooner, I should have fought harder, or maybe I never should have put you in a position like this at all. I guess it doesn’t really matter, now. The war is over, and you can stop fighting. You’re tired, and I’ve known it for a while. I’m sorry that I let things go this far. You can blame whoever you want, but please stop blaming yourself.” He moved ever so slightly closer to you, grabbing your face gently between his hands. “If this is going to make you the happiest, I would never be upset at you for it. You deserve every bit of happiness this world has to offer. You always try and give it to everyone else, but it’s your turn, baby. You get to enjoy it, and you don’t have to worry about me.” He wiped your face clean once more, the soft touch warming your soul and soothing the pain. You wished so badly to make everyone happy, to settle the problem with no casualties, but it was just not possible. Someone had to hurt, or all of you would hurt. There was no winning, and in a way, everyone lost at least something along the way.

“In another world, Sammy.” You said, recalling the daydreams you and him had shared in the past. They seemed so close, so real, but you didn’t want to reach for them anymore. Your arms were tired of searching for something that might never be found, and if they were, you knew they would not have been able to compare to the fairytale world that you had created in your mind. “We’d have the house, the dogs, and the rest of our lives.”

“I’ll be dreaming of that world forever,” he said, a sad smile crossing his lips. “Just make sure that he treats you right, because you deserve it, and you make sure that he knows he’s the luckiest man to ever walk this earth. If he doesn’t realize that, then I’ll remind him myself.”

“Thank you for understanding. Thank you for not hating me.” You sniffled, already so burnt out from the whirlwind of emotion the day had thrown at you.

“Hate you?” He scoffed, a smile on his face despite tears welling in his eyes. “There is no possible way that I could ever hate you, y/n. You’re my best friend above anything else, and you’ve given me a lifetime’s worth of happiness in just a few months. I’ve made a lot of mistakes, but I could never make one as big as that.”

“I could never hate you either, Sammy. I hope that when this all settles, we can still be friends. I don’t want to live a life without you in it.”

“Of course we can. It’s going to suck at first, and it’s going to hurt, but we’ll get through it. We can get through anything.” He promised. “Thank you for being honest, and thank you for giving me the best few months of my entire life.”

“Thank you, Sam. You showed me how beautiful this life can be when you’re looking in the right places, and you helped me more than you can ever imagine.” You said, reaching out to brush the hair from his face. You let your thumb drift over the soft skin on his cheek, feeling better than you had in days. You hated hurting him, but you knew that it was what you had to do; Sam was your best friend, someone you loved to be around and loved making memories with, but in the long term, it just wasn’t right. You could have a good life with him, a great one, even, but you feared that it paled in comparison to the life you could live with Jake. Sam was comfortable, familiar, and fantastic all the same. He would make a phenomenal partner, but you knew he would be suited best for someone else. Jake was what you needed, what you craved for the future, and you knew he was exactly what your heart wanted. The truth lied within the fact that you were aching all over after walking away from him, and now that you knew you were walking away from Sam, you felt lighter than you ever had before. It did not feel good to hurt him, but it felt good to free yourself from the chains that your entanglement was tying you down with, and it felt good to finally be certain in your own decisions.

“You did too, Princess.” He mumbled, closing his eyes to hold back his tears. “Like I said before, if you ever change your mind, I’ll be here. I’d wait for you forever if I had to. If you ever decide to try again, I promise I’ll do it right, next time.” He said, turning his head slightly to press a kiss to your thumb.

“It has nothing to do with rights and wrongs, Sammy. I made just as many mistakes as anyone else. Don’t punish yourself for it, because we were all doing what we thought was best.” He nodded, hearing your words and trying his best to adhere to the request. “Thank you for everything.” You said once again, making sure your gratitude was clearly expressed.

“I assume you have to go deliver the good news, now?” He asked, eyes glistening with an emotion you had never seen from him before. It was killing you to cause him such suffering, but it was for the best, and in years to come you hoped to look back on this rough patch and have all of you laugh at your own stupidity.

“Yeah, I guess so.” You sighed, ready to make amends with Jake but not ready to leave Sam. “One last kiss, for old times sake?” You asked, a shred of hope in your voice. He chuckled at your question, drawing you in to him without another word. The kiss was soft, sweet yet sad all the same. It was a celebration as much as it was a goodbye. When you parted, sadness lingered on both of your faces, but there was also relief in knowing that the struggle was over. As much as he was mourning the fact that he couldn’t have you, he respected your choice, and he knew that with time he could heal the wounds he collected from the battle. The dance that you had been doing was only worsening them, and with proper care, the scars might be so light that you would never guess they existed in the first place. “I love you, Sam. I think I will for the rest of my life. A piece of me will always belong to you.”

“Me too, y/n. I love you, and I hope that even after it’s all said and done, you don’t forget that.”

“Never.” You promised, placing another kiss to his cheek, this time. “I’ll see you soon, Sammy.”

“I hope so,” he said, grabbing your hand and giving it a gentle squeeze before rising to his feet. He gave a small wave goodbye before disappearing out of the room. You took in a long breath, but stood despite your body begging you not to. You were terrified to face the world after inflicting so much damage on another, and more so, you were terrified of rejection from Jake. After hurting him so badly, you would understand if he never wanted to speak to you again. You hoped that it was not the case as you broke into the hallway, headed straight for the direction of his dressing room, because you feared that him turning you down would effectively turn you to dust.

You stopped in front of his door, no more hesitation present in your mind as you knocked on the door. You waited for something, but received nothing. There was not even a hint that there was life inside the room. You swore under your breath as you raised your hand to knock again. You listened intently, wondering if you might be able to hear a movement beyond the door, but there wasn’t a thing that signalled that he was inside. You tried not to let the disappointment take over, but it was creeping up on you faster with every second that passed. You worried that you had effectively driven the final nail in the coffin, that you had pushed him just a little too far and now there was no way to recover from the hurt you had caused. You took a step back from the door as you continued deliberating your next move. You looked down the hallway, feeling like you had stumbled upon the key to the grand prize. Josh was walking towards you, mindless and uncaring of his surroundings.

You stepped towards him, cutting him off before he could make it any further and startling him with the suddenness. “Josh,” you greeted, trying to keep your frantic mind away from the public eye.

“Gold Dust Woman,” he greeted, slowly looking over your face. “You don’t look very good.”

“No,” you chuckled, knowing his observation barely scratched the surface “guess I don’t.” You sighed, wondering how to word your question to showcase the importance of your need for an answer. “Is Jake in his room? O-or do you know where he is? I really need to talk to him.” Your nervousness slipped out in your stutter, and he was quick to catch on to it.

“Uh, no, he’s not in his room.” He said, a note of sympathy in his eyes. “He’s in pretty bad shape, y/n. I think it’s best to leave things be for now.” If your heart could shatter any more, it did just that at the sound of his words.

“I know I fucked up, Josh. I just need to talk to him and make it right.” You whispered.

“Listen,” he sighed, placing his hand on your shoulder and giving it a gentle squeeze “you’re my best friend, but he’s my brother. I know that you didn’t want to hurt him, and I know it was never your intention, but he needs some time to heal. Sometimes it’s better to just let it go and move forward.” His sympathy felt like a punch in the face, but his misunderstanding of your intent was even worse.

“No, Josh, I’m not trying to coddle him because I broke his heart, I’m telling you that I fucked up. I made the biggest mistake of my life, and I need to make it right. I’m not trying to put a bandaid on a bullet hole, I need to tell him that I was wrong.” You rushed your words, looking over his confused expression. You gave a nervous gulp, not wanting to speak the obvious but knowing that it would be the only way he understood your intent. “I just broke up with Sam. I was wrong, Josh, and I need to say it before it’s too late.” You were desperate in your explanation, hoping that now he could see what you were trying to tell him. His eyebrows raised, lips parting slightly in shock at your words. “This whole thing is a mess, and I know that I’m at fault, but I’m trying to do the right thing. I need to do right by him, Josh. I swear I’m not trying to hurt him any more.”

“Oh, wow.” He said, processing the information you had thrown at him.

“I know, and you can hate me for hurting them; god knows I deserve it, but he deserves the truth. He deserves everything good in this world and I couldn’t live with myself if I didn’t try. I know he’s your brother, and I know you’re trying to protect him, and I’m so grateful that he has someone as good as you to look out for him, but please, if he’s in your room just let me see him.”

“I don’t hate you, y/n. I just wish I could solve it for everyone, take the pain away, even. You’re all family, and this is incredibly confusing and frustrating, but I do not hate you.” He clarified, moving forward to pull you into a hug. “You’re sure?”

“More than anything else in the whole world.” You assured him, holding him tightly as if it would ease your hurt. His arms were familiar, but strange in the sense that you knew it was not him you were supposed to be hugging.

“I’ll let him know you’re looking for him.” He said, giving you a reassuring pat on the back.

“Thank you,” you said, but it held little weight in comparison to the relief you felt at his words.

“I think Aaron’s looking for you,” he nodded in the direction of the manager who was quickly approaching the pair of you. “Probably time for soundcheck.”

“Fuck sakes.” You sighed, turning to see for yourself. Josh was right, Aaron was talking to you before he was even in earshot, ordering your presence on stage. As much as you loved your job, you seemed to despise it more than anything in that moment. You looked back at Josh, giving him another silent thanks with your eyes before walking away. You went right to the stage, ignoring any other attempts at initiating conversation from anyone else passing by. Dylan was sitting at the drum set, tapping out a small beat while Riley was soloing on his bass guitar. Not even the sight of your best friends could break you from your misery; tears were still begging to be shed, only worsening when you picked up your own instrument. “Let’s get this over with.” You muttered, uttering a small check into the mic to make sure it was on.

“You seem chipper today.” Dylan noted, begging to catch a glimpse of your face so she could judge what type of poor mood you were in. “Left this morning before I even woke up. Felt like a cheap tinder date.” You let out a small chuckle at her joke, but opted not to respond as you tuned your strings to your liking. Without any warning, you let out a loud strum on the strings, kicking on your distortion pedal as you stepped towards the mic and let out a shout.

As if it were muscle memory, as soon as she heard the sound, Dylan joined in on the drums. Riley followed suit, singing into his own microphone alongside of you. You proceeded with the song, singing the lyrics with all of the emotion you were holding in your heart. Riley allowed you to sing the verses and the chorus, only joining in every so often when he felt the need to accentuate your impact. When the solo came around, you looked only at the floor as your hands did all of the work. As you finished, you leaned forward to sing the last few lines, ending the most passionate rendition of ‘Them Bones’ by Alice in Chains you had ever performed.

“So we’re angry, today.” Dylan said, catching her breath as she rested her arms for a moment.

“We’re everything today, Dylan.” You corrected, switching to your clean setting. “Try Little Wing.”

“You got it.” She said, waiting for you to begin. You played around with the Wah pedal, making sure your tone was right before you started the melodic intro. You couldn’t look out to the seats, knowing that there was only two bodies watching this time around. It killed you to know you had hurt the brothers enough that they felt as though they couldn’t even watch your rehearsal. Your chest was aching, wondering if you had truly fucked everything up as badly as you believed you did.

The cry of your guitar was similar to the one of your soul, echoing through the empty air just to return back and strike you in the face. Your eyes were still blurred with tears of defeat, but you refused to let any more fall. The weakness you had displayed within the last few hours left you shocked that you hadn’t crumbled to the ground in a mess of your former self, yet. You felt like you could, and you definitely wanted to, but you knew you had to keep going for just a little while longer. Your bones ached with exhaustion and your body was begging for a moment of peace, yet you continued on as if nothing was wrong. It was your best defence mechanism, and your only one. If you stopped now, you would never get back up again. As tempting as it was, giving up was not an option until you settled the score with Jake and did everything you could to make things right again.

Dylan drummed along with your playing and Riley was near perfect in his timing, but when you stepped up to sing, your fingers slipped from their position. An off note rang through the air, covered by your voice and quick work at recovery. You made it through the lyrics with no other mishaps, but when the outro came around, you seemed to completely lose your train of thought midway through. You let out a slur of curses, angry at yourself and the instrument for not doing what you wanted it to do. “All good, y/n.” Dylan tried to mediate, knowing your temper all too well. “Can try it again if you want.”

“No, just move on.” You shook your head, starting into another riff. You only chose to play it as a way to prove to yourself you still had the talent, but you couldn’t seem to get the right sound from your guitar that you were hoping for. You tried it a few more times, but couldn’t find the right rhythm for the outcome you wanted. “Fuck!” You exploded, your moment of anger catching you off-guard and echoing through the microphone. You practically ripped the strap from your body, slamming the guitar onto the stand and walking away without another word. Dylan nor Riley felt the need to call you back, knowing that your time on stage had come to an end for the time being. Forcing you to pick the guitar back up would only result in a catastrophic mess, and they were not willing to risk another Gibson guitar being shattered on the floor of a stage.

You walked around the corner, ignoring Aaron’s persistent complaints about your short lived soundcheck, and headed straight to your dressing room. The door slammed behind you with enough force to knock the building down and you collapsed on your couch without any care for your childish display. You put your head in your hands, hoping to hold the tears in for good, but they still seemed to find away around the strength in which your palms were pressed to your face. You felt like the world was ending, the sky crashing down and the earth cracking below you. After so long playing with fire, you had finally succumbed to the fatal burns of your own mistakes. You had hurt the two people you loved most, and you knew nothing about how to fix it, or even if you could mend the damage you had done.

You reached to your purse that was lazily discarded on the floor, rummaging around before finding a few single-shot bottles of whiskey. You took one and swallowed it down, ignoring the sting that settled in your chest, for it was much more pleasant than how you were already feeling. You dumped the other two into the coffee cup that Sam had given you, the liquid just reaching the brim of the cup. You took two long sips from it, uncaring of the unpleasant taste. You made it halfway through the brew before the knocking began. If you had to choose your least favourite sound, that would be at the top of your list. You ignored it the first few times, but it had eventually gotten so loud and persistent that you could no longer tune it out.

You swung the door open, met with the face of your stylist. “Told you we’d be spending lots of time together, today.” She said, opting to ignore your clear distress.

“Kind of in the middle of something.” You said, furrowing your eyebrows at her disregard for the scene.

“Moping around your dressing room?” She questioned, raising an eyebrow as she waited for an answer. When you remained silent, she stepped inside. “Let’s get you cleaned up and brand new, again.” She said, kicking the door shut behind her. She motioned for you to sit in your chair, to which you obeyed. She was a strong personality, one that was hard to adjust to, but you loved her. Much like everyone else on tour, she was family, and unlike everyone else, she wasn’t one to feed into your bullshit. “Get it all out now,” she said, looking to you as she took a seat on the arm of your couch.

“You want me to cry on command?” You questioned, confused about her motive.

“Yeah, that’s exactly what I want.” She nodded, crossing her arms over her chest. You felt like you were being graded on your misery, and it was a very confusing feeling. So confusing, that you almost seemed to be distracted from your poor mood.

“I… I think I’m okay, now.” You said, certain that the tears had finally run dry.

“You better be sure, because once I start, I can’t have you crying all of my hard work away.” You wanted to argue with her, but somehow the blunt words seemed to snap you out of your previous state of mind. Actually, you found them quite funny. She approached you after pulling a few things from her bag, giving you ample opportunity to double back on your word. She kneeled in front of you, bringing a makeup wipe to your face as she softly removed any physical reminders of your hurt. “I told you not to let them steal your shine, Gold Dust Woman.”

“I think I stole my own shine, Rachel.”

“Mhm,” she shook her head, dabbing away the mascara stains from under your eye. “Whoever stole it needs to give me my girl back, because this is not the Gold Dust Woman I know.”

“I know.” You agreed, solemnly cementing her words in truth.

“We’re gonna make you look beautiful, and then hopefully your mind will follow suit. Sometimes you just need a little break from the world.” She was right, and usually your time spent with her was a break from the real world. She put you in a suit of armour with her work, turning you into a version of yourself you barely believed to be real. You hoped that once she dressed you in your stage clothes, you could find the confidence to make it through the rest of the night. She was like a mother in the way she cared; firm yet comforting, and unwilling to put up with any bullshit. Neither of you seemed to talk much about any troubles, but she always seemed to make you feel better just by being in your company.

Once your face was clean, she took extra time to soothe the puffiness from all of the crying. When she began to apply makeup, she used a gentle touch and utmost concentration. She didn’t break her focus until she was certain that she had perfected the look. She guided you to your clothes, allowing you to dress yourself before she fine tuned any details. You were clad in a gold tank top, elegant and beautiful in its simplicity. It was filled with very tiny, reflective sequins that from afar seemed to blend into one. It was low cut, the neckline lax and swooping down as it settled on itself. It stopped just above your navel, the material loose and comfortable to move in. She picked a pair of leather pants that flared at the bottom but stayed very form fitting above the knee. She pinned your shirt in place before moving on to your hair. She touched up her earlier work but didn’t change much, leaving it hang freely over your shoulders before spraying it with hairspray.

“How do you feel?” She asked, voice quiet as she stepped out of your view of the mirror. You inspected your reflection, wondering if the woman staring back at you was truly you, or just an imposter begging you to believe it. You couldn’t tell for a second that you had been such a mess only a short time before. Your eyes were painted dark and prominent, standing out even further by the accent of gold eyeliner she had trailed down your face. She had made gold tears with the makeup, so subtle that you could miss it, yet shining just perfectly under the light.

“You deserve a raise,” you breathed, leaning closer to inspect yourself even further. She crouched down, now the same height as you and staring into the mirror with you.

“Even when you cry, y/n, it’s made of gold.” She whispered, looking to your face with a small smile on her lips. “Bring back my Gold Dust Woman. Show them that you’re worth more than all of that pain.”

“Thank you, Rachel.” You said, feeling more gratitude for her than you could even comprehend. The relationship between an artist and a stylist is nearly incomprehensible; no, you did not share the darkest of your secrets with her, but she most often saw the most vulnerable and intimate parts of you. She was projecting your inner self outwardly, and to do so, she needed to know you wholly. She was phenomenal at her job, and you were eternally grateful for her.

“Don’t thank me yet.” She said, standing once again. “Put my work to good use, then we’ll have time for gratitude.” You chuckled at her bold persona, nodding in agreement. She straightened the gold chains around your neck before slipping out of the room in silence. You waited until her footsteps faded away until you moved out of your chair, finding a shred of courage to move towards the hallway yourself.

You peered into the open area, timid to find the bodies that occupied it. You leaned against the doorframe, finding Riley and Dylan only a few feet away from the stage. You could hear the soft lull of Jake’s guitar calling to you, begging you to go and watch him work his magic. You took a few steps forward towards your bandmates, sneaking up behind them and shocking them with your presence. “Hey,” you uttered, remorseful about your blatant disregard for the soundcheck earlier. Dylan tuned her head to look at you, softened by your shy expression. “I’m sorry about earlier.”

“It’s okay,” she said, knowing that there was nothing you could do about it now. “Just don’t do it tonight.”

“Of course not,” you assured her, sneaking into the small space between her and Riley.

“You okay, now?” He asked, turning his head to look down at you.

“Yeah, much better.” You nodded.

“That’s all that matters.” He said, slipping an arm around your waist. Dylan did the same, a silent show of agreement. You slung you arms around their shoulders, finding it easier to stand with the strength of their support. You knew that no matter what happened, you had plenty of love coming your way. You had a world full of friends who would give anything to make you smile and go to the ends of the earth to take away the sadness. Grateful was not a strong enough word to express how you felt about them, and you wished you could be better at showing it. Your hope was that when the storm settled from loving the Kiszka’s, the world would appear easier to understand and navigate.

You watched the stage from the sideline, noticing immediately that you were on the same side as Jake normally took post on. It was hard to notice anyone or anything else when he was around because his presence took up all of the space in a room. He was beautiful, kind and generous beyond measure, and you were so close to having him forever. You were foolish to let him slip through your fingers once, and you would be damned to ever let it happen again. He was the earth you stood on, the sky above, and the air you breathed. Jake was everything, and you were an idiot for ever thinking otherwise. You felt entranced as you watched his fingers graze the fretboard, pulled in by his talent and suffocated by his beauty. Before you even knew it, the song had came to an end and the boys were walking away from the instruments.

You thought that this was your chance to get Jake by himself for a moment. As he walked towards you, head turned towards the ground, you broke free of the hold your bandmates had on you. You stepped to the side, landing a few feet in front of Jake in hopes to stop him from going any further. He looked up, surprised at your presence. He looked worse than you had ever seen him; his eyes were tired, bloodshot as if he’d spent the afternoon in the same state you had been. At the sight of you, he did not smile, nor did he give you any hint that he was happy to see you. You could not blame him, because if you were in his shoes, you would never want to speak to you again. Still, you persevered in hopes that you could change the situation for the better despite your heart begging you to run and hide.

“Jake,” you whispered, holding his gaze for as long as he would allow it. “Can I talk to you for a second? Please?”

“Y/n,” he sighed, pain rising in his features the longer he was in your company. “I just need some time, okay?”

“No, Jake, I swear-“

“Please,” he cut you off, clearly not knowing what you were trying to tell him. “Just give me a few days, then I promise we can try the friends thing.” He mumbled, averting his gaze away from you. You wanted to scream your love from him so loudly that it shattered the windows and lived inside the walls forever, to show the world how much he meant to you and how apologetic you were for not realizing it sooner, but you seemed frozen in your place. The rejection was not unexpected, but it was debilitating.

“No, I just need-“ you tried again, but his hand landed on your bicep, giving it a gentle squeeze of reassurance before he stepped past you and continued down the hall. You turned, watching him appear smaller and smaller before he eventually turned into a room and disappeared from sight completely. You thought you were going to be sick, broken underneath the weight of the love you were carrying for him. As much as you wanted to chase after him, you knew it was best to let him come to you in his own time. Still, even if you knew it was for the best did not make the fact easy to choke down.

You looked over to your bandmates, noticing that they had been watching the interaction unfold in hopes of discovering the source of your misery. You let out a long sigh, shrugging your shoulders as if to tell them you didn’t know any more than they did. Dylan nodded her head towards her dressing room, silently asking if you wanted to wait with her until it was time to perform. You have a solemn nod, letting her lead the way. When the three of you were together in her dressing room, door closed and locking out any unwanted listeners, she finally felt comfortable enough to pry some information for you. You explained to the two about the events of the day, biting back tears as you spoke. When you made it to the end of your sad story, the shock on their faces was too much to bear. You closed your eyes, leaning your head on the back of the couch while you tried to forget about the sadness that seemed to make permanent home in your head.

“So, how are you going to tell him?” Dylan asked, now at the hands of the stylist who had recently been in your own company.

“Have to get him to talk to me first, don’t you think?”

“No,” her answer was simple.

“How am I supposed to tell someone I love them without talking to them?” You rolled your eyes, sipping on the drink Riley had grabbed for you. A little liquid courage could get you through anything, or that’s what you always thought. This time, it seemed different. The anxiety stemming from your predicament with Jake seemed too large to calm with any sort of substance. You weren’t worried about superficialities, nor surface level scars that would fade into nothing; this was the love of your life, someone who you wanted to spend forever with, and you were terrified you had lost him for good.

“Do you forget that we’re in a band?” Riley asked, looking over at you with a hint of humour in his eye. He was tipsy, but he was just as enthralled in the conversation as Dylan. “We write about our feelings for a living. Sing him a song, dumbass.” You reached over, smacking his arm gently as you both dissolved into a fit of laughter. The more time you spent with the two, the more the dread seemed to float away. It was still lingering, but it seemed much less daunting with them in your company.

“What song should I sing?” You asked, tracing circles into the fabric of your pants to distract yourself from your fear.

“That one’s on you,” Riley said. “I’m not the one confessing my love for him.”

“Maybe you should, I think you two would be awfully cute together.” Dylan teased, hidden behind Rachel as she had her face painted with stage makeup.

“I’ll let her shoot her shot, first. If she fucks up, though…” Riley trailed off, slowly turning his gaze towards you. “You better watch out.” Another chorus of laughter echoed through the room at his words. After the excitement died down, you drifted away into your thoughts, thinking of the best way to express your feelings for him. After a few moments, an idea surfaced in the mess of self-doubt that seemed impossible to pass up.

“I got it.” You announced, a small smile breaking out on your lips. Riley leaned over, giving you a pat on the back as a way to say he was proud of you.

And thus began the longest wait of your entire life.

The minutes seemed to pass with the length of an hour, and the hours felt like eternities. You drank, trying to settle the nerves in yours stomach, and tapped your foot against the floors to rid yourself of the jitters. Riley left the room to allow Dylan to get changed, and eventually Rachel left to tend to his stage outfit. The small talk had between you and your drummer was nearly painful, both of you knowing that you were completely uninvested in any of the topics at hand. You were nearly vibrating by the time Aaron knocked on the dressing room door, bursting at the seams with anticipation of getting on stage. You joined together at the side of the stage, listening to Aaron’s short instructions to ensure the performance would run smoothly.

When he motioned for you to start, you have a nod and a prayer for enough confidence to get through the night. When you appeared in front of the crowd, you were met with cheers and applause, fuelling your ego only enough for you to pick up your guitar. Dylan sat behind her drums, a blinding smile on her lips as she started a slow beat on the kick drum to set the mood. “How’s everyone doing tonight?” Riley asked, met with a cheer of an excitement from the audience. He looked over to you, laughing at the sound.

“We’re Gold Dust Woman, and we’re so excited to spend the evening with you all. Here’s a song we wrote about being drunk…” you said, looking to Riley for a moment “and in love.” You started a familiar riff, one that had been circling around the internet after your first performance of the song. You knew that once the tour finished up, it would be first on the list of songs to record.

The longer you played, the more confident you felt in your own ability. You found yourself intermittently checking over your shoulder, looking to see if the boys were watching you from their usual spot. At first, there was only Josh and Danny observing from the sidelines. Halfway through the set, Sam made an appearance, looking beautiful in his stage clothes and makeup. Your heart ached at the sight, but when he caught your eye and gave you a reassuring smile, you felt on top of the world. The weight lifted from you ever so slightly just by knowing he did not hold any resentment towards you. There was only one more loose end that needed tying, and you had put your entire faith in the idea that Jake would be willing to watch your performance that night.

When you got down to the last three songs, you were tired and dejected, ready to pack up your things and stitch up your wounds. Jake had not yet made an appearance, and you were beginning to believe he would not leave his room until the second he was needed on stage. You couldn’t blame him, but you so desperately wanted to blame someone, which ultimately landed you back in your initial position. All of the self-doubt and insecurities flooded back in, giving your hands a nervous tremor as you played the solo of your second to last song. Riley sang softly over your playing, distracting the crowd from any potential mishaps your fingers may have caused. You finished with a small outro, trying to zone in on your fretboard to avoid any further mistakes. You finished with a smile, happy that you finished at all.

You looked back over your shoulder, knowing that you would be met with another staggering rejection, yet needing to check anyway. Your heart nearly erupted from your chest and your breath caught in your throat. Your head was swimming with adoration as your eyes landed on the fourth body that finally joined the crowd. He caught your gaze, the same intense emotion taking hold of him in an instant. You struggled to break from the state, wishing to stay lost in his eyes for the rest of time. His lips upturned in the corner, not quite smiling at you, but acknowledging that he was invested in you. You managed to shake your head free from the overwhelming fear, looking to Riley in hopes he could communicate with you wordlessly. You nodded your head in his direction, silently asking if you could switch positions. He caught on immediately, making it seem like the interaction was planned all along as he moved towards you.

You gave him a high five as you passed, trying to make the switch as relaxed as possible. “Alright, we’ve got one more song for you tonight, and it’s a very special one to me.” You said, tuning down your top string. “If you know it, sing it with me. I think I might need some help to get through it.” You encouraged, tuning your bottom string. You casted a look back towards Dylan, a hopeful smile on your lips. She gave you a grin with all of the support she could muster in her features. She gave you a drum roll, hiking anticipation until you began playing.

You began the infamous introduction, the first cluster of notes immediately sending a surge of excitement through the room. Dylan joined in, giving you a steady beat, and Riley bit back a smile as he plucked the top string of his bass.

“Listen to the wind blow, watch the sun rise

Running in the shadows, damn your love, damn your lies” Riley sang with you, your voices harmonizing alongside the crowd’s excited voices. You took a step back, playing a small part on the guitar before leading him into the chorus. Before you began, you looked over at the group of boys watching your performance. You caught Jake’s eye, holding him captive as you sang directly to him.

“And if you don’t love me now,

You will never love me again

I can still hear you saying

You would never break the chain” you sang, powerful and with clear intent. Jakes head cocked to the side, his eyebrow raising in disbelief as he watched your blatant display of emotion. You sang the chorus once more before breaking your gaze, focusing on your hands to regain your composure. You could feel the rhythm in your heart, the beat of the drum rattling your bones and the bass pounding in your ears. If you could keep your focus on the music, you could finish the song. You continued repeating it in your head until you believed it.

“Listen to the wind blow, down comes the night

Running in the shadows, damn your love, damn your lies

Break the silence, damn the dark, damn the light” you looked to Riley, allowing him to lead you back into the chorus. He sang alone while you echoed his words back to him. He let you sing the next one, switching roles so he could echo you. You looked back at the side stage, the shine of tears in your eye as you saw the look of anger begin to form on Jake’s face. You continued singing, only stopping so he could play the bass line leading up to the solo. On his second run through, you began picking the bottom strings, speeding your pace the longer you played. You took a step back from the mic, losing yourself to the tune. You let your head fall back, eyes closed as your hands guided you through the process of the solo. When it came time to sing again, you were overcome with a sudden burst of energy.

“Chain keep us together!” You shouted into the microphone, looking to Riley as you did so.

“Running in the shadows!” He sang back, watching you to see when you would start again. You repeated your line, more passion than the last time, and he copied your energy. You grinned, walking over to him before singing again. He stepped to the side, allowing you to join him at his microphone. He faced you, playing at you as you did the same to him.

“Chain keep us together!”

“Running in the shadows!” You sang into the same mic, face to face as you played your instruments. The passion was electric, igniting your heart and your soul as it only increased further. You looked past Riley, catching Jake’s gaze one last time before singing the line once more. Dylan let out a loud bang on the drums, stopping the song entirely and filling the air with silence. After a second, everyone erupted into cheers. Dylan stood behind her drum set, raising her arms in the air in triumph. You looked back at her, laughing at her antics.

“Thank you, and goodnight!” Riley yelled into the microphone. You waved out at the crowd, slipping your strap over your shoulder and handing it off to a sound tech waiting for you just off the stage. You were breathless, barely able to thank the group for their endless compliments on your performance. You were stopped before you could move any further, frozen in your tracks by a body that stepped in front of you. You looked up, meeting Jakes angry eyes while fear settled in your stomach. Both of you were too caught up in the flurry of emotion to care about your surroundings, ignoring Aaron’s warning of the boys 45 minute timer until they got on stage.

Jake reached out, placing a hand on your upper arm as he guided you away from the group and towards your dressing room. He pushed the door shut behind him, looking to you as he waited for an explanation. You were at a loss for words, not expecting your performance to catch his attention so efficiently. “What the fuck was that, y/n?” He asked, his stare burning into you and his tone harsh. You opened your mouth to speak, but couldn’t seem to find anything meaningful to say. “You break up with me, tell me you’re in love with my brother, and then you get up on stage and pull a stunt like that? I have no idea what you want from me. If you want Sam, then have him, but you need to give me some time to get over you!”

“I was wrong!” You blurred out, panic stricken and desperate for him to slow down. “I don’t want you to get over me because I was wrong, Jake!” He paused, completely still as his expression shifted. He was frozen, eyes glossed over with disbelief as he processed your words.

“What?” His voice was quiet now, approaching you with utmost caution as if he was afraid to scare you away.

“I love you, Jake, and I was wrong.” You whispered, taking a step closer to him. “I was so wrong, and I know I can’t take back the pain I’ve already caused, but I can’t let you go. I love you. Three months ago, I loved you. In a year from now, I’ll still love you. When I’m eighty years old and watching the world happen around me from my front porch, I will still be thinking about how much I love you. It’s the type of love that’s forever, and I know that I will never feel this way for anyone else in my entire life. I’m so sorry for not seeing it sooner, and for walking away, or for thinking that there might be something happier for me somewhere else, but it’s just not true. You are everything Jake, and I am certain of that. You wouldn’t listen to me earlier, but I needed to tell you. I couldn’t live with myself if I just let you go.”

He watched you, head tilted to the side slightly as he absorbed your confession. His lips were parted slightly, in awe at the profound nature of your words. As nervous as you were, you couldn’t help but admire him. The beauty that he was surrounded with was indescribable; the way his eyebrows furrowed as he tried to process his thoughts, the glimmer in his eye that gave you a shred of hope, all of it. He was breathtaking, and you couldn’t believe that you had the opportunity to love him at all. You wanted to step forward, to be so close to him that you never had to worry about distance again, but you were afraid. You awaited the invitation, your body yearning to be in his arms and addicted to the memory of his touch.

“I know that this has been hard, and we’ve messed up, but I don’t want to make mistakes with anyone else, Jake. I would be happier struggling with you than I would be if I was comfortable with someone else. I don’t know how to love, or what it really means to love someone so completely and selflessly, but I know that I feel it for you, and god do I know that you feel it for me. I’ve never been so loved in my entire life, and I never want to let it go. You love the parts of me that I thought would always be unlovable. You loved me so much even knowing that you could get hurt, and you loved me even while I was hurting you. I’ve never really been in love like this before, but I know that this is what it’s supposed to be like.” You rambled, confessing every thought that crossed your mind. You hoped that it was enough, because you couldn’t fathom the thought of watching him walk away.

“A-are you sure?” He asked, seeming like he wanted to reach out for you but worried that it might be some kind of sick joke.

“I am more sure than I’ve ever been before.” You whispered, gravitating towards him despite your brain telling you to stop.

“100 percent?” He asked again, also leaning closer as he asked.

“A million percent, Jake.” The pain that was on his face seemed to vanish at your assurance. Without another word, he stepped forward, so close to you that it made your head spin. He grabbed your face in his hands, leaning down and kissing you with every ounce of love he could muster. You flung your arms around his torso, pulling him as close as possible. You wished you could live in the moment of euphoria forever, knowing that nothing in your life could ever top the feeling of loving him freely. He broke away from you, his face still dangerously close to your own. He pressed another soft kiss to your lips as a way of thanking you for coming back, but he had no need to thank you for anything.

You slipped your hands under his suit jacket, desperate to be closer but unsure of how to do it. He laughed at you, your cold hands shocking his warm skin. You looked up at him, hearts dancing in your eyes as you lost yourself in his expression of elation. “You meant everything?” He mumbled, looking over your face and soaking in every detail.

“I will scream it from every rooftop in the world if I have to. If that’s what it takes for you to understand how much you mean to me, I’d do it a hundred times over again.” His eyes were speaking words that only your soul could understand, pulling you in further and making you fall even further in love. “When I left earlier, I just couldn’t shake the feeling that I had made a huge mistake. I came inside to to talk to Sam, and I couldn’t do it. It’s always been you, even if I was too stupid to see it.” You said, feeling choked up just at the thought of leaving him. “I’m so sorry, Jake. I know I can’t take it back but I hope that I can make it up to you with enough time.” He let his thumb drift over your cheek, shaking his head before you even finished speaking.

“No apologies, angel. It doesn’t matter anymore, what matters is that you’re here with me, now.” You smiled, unable to contain your excitement any longer. His lips were still close enough to your own that you could feel him start to smile, too. Without warning, he moved his hands, crouching down slightly and anchoring them on the back of your thighs. In one swift motion, he picked you up off the floor. You let out a shriek of surprise as you wrapped your legs around him and threw your arms around his neck to steady yourself. He laughed at the sound, making sure to hold you tightly so you knew there was no fear of falling. But, as long as you were with Jake, you were well aware that you would never have to fear falling unless it was in love, because he was always waiting to catch you.

“So this is it? We get to be happy, now?” You asked, looking down at him. It was almost too fantastic to be true, but you knew that it had to be, because no dream could make you feel as good as you did in that moment.

“I think so,” He breathed, grinning up at you with the same happiness in his heart. You closed your eyes, overwhelmed by the moment and unable to hold back any emotion trying to push through. A tear rolled down your cheek, which he was quick to spot. “Why are you crying, baby?” He asked, concern thick in his voice. “There’s no need for tears, anymore.”

“I’m just happy,” you said, voice shaking as you spoke. “I’m so happy, Jake. I never thought I could be this happy. I’ve spent my whole life trying to be something more than what I was born with, more than what I was ever given, but all of the work never seemed to make any sense because I still went home feeling the same way. I don’t feel like that, now. For the first time in my life, things feel perfectly right.” And it was true; you had searched forever, always coming out empty handed and wondering if you would ever find the thing you wanted most. Now, it was in front of you, and with a promise of forever. It was almost too much to take, but you were trying your hardest to accept it.

He moved to the couch, sitting down while being cautious of not dropping you. Once you were settled in his lap, he brought a hand to your face and wiped away any fallen tears. “It can be like this forever, y/n.” He whispered, tucking your hair behind your ear. “I promise I will love you as long as you want me to, and long after that. You are my heart and my soul, and everything worthwhile. I want to be everything you need, whenever you need it.”

“You’ve already given me the whole world, Jake.” You said, bringing your hand to his cheek. “You’ve given me more than I ever thought I could have.”

“And I’ll keep giving until I can’t give any more.” He said, drawing you closer to him and resting his head in the crook of your neck. “I’ll give you whatever your heart desires, Gold Dust Woman. All I ever wanted to do was make you happy.”

“Happy doesn’t even come close to what you do for me.” You said, running a hand through his hair. He placed a kiss to the skin on your neck, pulling away only for a second before beginning to move upwards. He kissed a trail to your lips, the final kiss nearly too sweet to break. You held him to you, settling your other hand on his shoulder to support yourself.

It only took a moment for the passion to catch up to you, weeks of being deprived of each other taking its toll and begging you to submit to the temptation. His fingertips ghosting over the exposed skin of your back was enough to drive you to insanity, and the intoxication from his kiss made it impossible to resist him. You gave an involuntary grind of your hips against him, your body’s natural response to the feeling of his touch. He tightened his grip on you as his breath caught in his throat, desperate for anything more than what you were already doing. He pulled you down on him, his erection pressing into your heat and sending a wave of arousal through you. You let out a small whimper into his mouth, sending him feral in an instant. His arms travelled up your body, sneaking under your shirt and begging to pull it off of you.

You parted from him, breathless with stars dancing in your eyes. “Jake, we don’t have time.”

“We have plenty of time,” he assured you, refusing to back down. He could see the worry in your eye, but he was certain in his statement. “Don’t you trust me by now, Gold Dust Woman?” The nickname was like pure ecstasy to you, settling deep in your chest and making home like it had always belonged there.

“Of course I do.” You said, regretful for ever doubting him. You lifted your arms, allowing him to discard your shirt with little care. He brought his mouth to your collarbone, starting softly with kisses as he unhooked your bra with expert precision. He let that fall to the ground, too, not concerned with anything other than getting your clothes off. He brought a hand to your breast, the cold air of the room stinging your skin but the warmth of his touch offsetting the harshness. He let his thumb drift over your nipple, sucking marks into your collarbones as if he was trying to cement the reality of his victory. He moved his mouth downwards, focusing on your other nipple with his tongue.

He was desperate to know you again, like the weeks of separation had made you strangers. If he could, he would have spent the entire night with you in your dressing room, but he knew he had to make quick work in order to finish before he was expected on stage. With the vulgar noises rolling off of your tongue, he knew it would not be difficult to do. You were deprived just the same as he was, just as desperate to be touched and just as eager for an orgasm. He let his teeth sink into your nipple, sending a shiver down your spine and a gasp from your lips. You could feel him smile against you, cockiness returning so quickly that you doubted it ever left. He moved his hands to your hips, prompting you to stand so he could take your pants off, too.

You did as he pleased, allowing him the honour of undoing the button and removing the fabric to reveal what he’d been missing so much. You kicked the pants to the side, leaving yourself almost completely exposed and accessible. He sat on the edge of the couch, practically drooling at the thought of having you wrapped around him again. His eyes raked over your body, his jaw hard set as if he was a predator eyeing its prey. Romantic Jake was long gone, and you were more than okay with that; you loved him, and you were joyous over the knowledge that he was yours and you were his, but you were desperate to be fucked. You would never tell him, knowing that it would only fuel his already strong ego, but he was the only one who could do it right. He settled his hand on your hip, drawing you in and bringing his mouth back to your skin. He admired you only for a moment before turning you around. He let his hand trail over your ass in silent admiration before placing a kiss there, too. Instead of pulling away like you expected, he sunk his teeth into the skin with intent to make you quiver under the touch.

He did just that, the sensation causing you to jump and shy away from the unexpected moment. He let out a chuckle as he pulled away, unapologetic for his actions. He let his finer trail under the band of your underwear, drawing the elastic back slightly and snapping it against your skin. You wanted to complain, to chastise him for the teasing, but you were enjoying it too much to care. You were willing to take anything and everything that he was willing to give. He hooked his fingers through the sides and pulled that fabric away from you too, leaving you fully naked and at his disposal. “Do you know how much I missed seeing you like this?” His voice was low, husky and filled with lust. You thought you might be able to get off on the sound alone. He spun you around again so you were facing him, looking down as you anticipated his next move. “Do you, sweetheart?”

“Yes, sir.” You nodded, feeling his fingers ghosting over your thighs. You shivered under the touch, wondering if he was possessed by his own sexual desire, or if it felt so good solely because of how much you loved him.

“Did you miss me, angel?”

“So badly,” you sighed, watching him with hearts dancing in your eyes. He let out a hum of approval, loving the sound of your shameless desperation. He reached down, placing his hand behind your knee, slow with his touch so he wouldn’t catch you off guard. You allowed him to guide your leg so your foot was resting on the cushion beside his thigh. He leaned forward, dusting kisses over the inside of your thigh, lost in the haze of desire that had quickly filled the room. He brought his hand to your cunt, letting his fingers run through you to get a better understanding of how much you wanted him. His jaw clenched at the pool of arousal, nearly insane from the thought of you being his and his alone. He trailed his finger to your clit, rubbing agonizingly slow circles as he watched your face. He was aching to see the look of pleasure, the one in which your eyebrows knotted together and your lips parted, shamelessly crazy for everything he was doing to you. Sometimes, it kept him alive even more than the most basic of things like food and water.

“Did she miss me, too?” He purred, looking up to you with the far-away smile that let you know he was no longer thinking about conversing with you. Even if you hated to admit it, you had grown to love it so deeply that it made your chest ache when you thought of it for too long.

“Why don’t you find out?” You asked, trying to focus on anything other than his rose tinted cheeks and glossy stare. As much as you wanted to, you knew you would never hold any real power in the bedroom with Jake. Or, perhaps you held all of it, and you would never know the difference.

“Talking back to me, angel?” He asked, adding more pressure with his fingers.

“Never, baby.” You breathed the lie so easily he could almost believe it was the truth. Almost being the keyword, but he missed you too much to punish you, and he didn’t have enough time to do so, anyway.

“Come here,” he muttered, making a move to guide your leg over his shoulder. A whine slipped through your lips before he ever put his mouth on you, deriving pleasure from the idea of his tongue alone. His eyes fluttered up to meet your face before he proceeded any further, amazed by the sound and intrigued by the cause. “You want me that bad, baby?” He asked, raising an eyebrow. Your face tinted red with embarrassment, but he was having none of it. “Don’t be shy, sweetheart. I want to hear all of those filthy fucking noises.” The end of his sentence was resembling a growl; his excitement was nearly unbearable and he was unable to hide it from you.

“Please, Jake. I need you so fucking bad.” You pleaded, your fingers already knotted in his hair with anticipation for his next move. His eyes fluttered closed, the words settling in his soul and already beginning to heal the wounds he’d collected from the days events. He couldn’t wait any longer, too pent up after being without you for so long. He guided your hips forward to meet his mouth, his tongue immediately landing on the sensitive bud he’d been teasing just moments before. In lieu of any formalities, he slipped two fingers inside of you, making it a mission to bring you to a climax as quick as possible.

A sharp moan sounded through the room, making home in the foundation of the walls to leave a permanent reminder of what had happened behind the closed door. His fingers stayed at a steady pace, pumping into you in time with the movement of his tongue. You couldn’t help but tug at his hair, needing more than he could possibly ever give you. At least, you thought it would be impossible to give, but Jake always managed to find a way. Your eyes were screwed shut as you bit down on your tongue, hoping to stay as silent as possible so nobody would know what was happening inside the room. His tongue was still laced with unholy energy, You were certain of it. There was no human that could possibly hold so much power within such simple movements. He was sent from the devil to turn you evil, too, and you didn’t care. Even if he was corrupt, or if the touch was woven with hidden intent, you would succumb to the temptation every time. Jake as an entity was much too powerful to resist, and you would be okay with it even if it was death you were suffering at his hands.

Your breathing was labored, chest heaving in hopes of catching up on the air he was stealing directly from your lungs. A thin layer of sweat had already begun to form on your forehead, your body so willing to give in to him with so little persuasion. It was always like that with Jake; it seemed as though he never even had to try to turn you into a mess because you were willing to do it as soon as he walked into a room. A raspy cry tore through you, already feeling an orgasm creeping up on you. It had been so long that you were surprised it even took him this long to get you there. You thought maybe he was savouring the moment, because Jake had to the ability to make you come undone in seconds. No matter what it was, you couldn’t find the strength to complain about it. You were so grateful for anything he was willing to give you, even if he chose to deny you an orgasm for the entire night.

That strength was not within him, though, and he was just as desperate for your climax as you were. He sped his tongue, matching the pace with his fingers, hoping that with a little encouragement you would come undone right then and there. You swore under your breath, holding his head for support in fear that your legs would give out from under you. He hummed against you, showing his own pleasure from your enjoyment. You felt the knot tightening in your belly, the burn almost too intense to ignore. You wished to drag it out a little longer, but you couldn’t hold back. It was partially due to your need for a release, but mostly because you could not deny him of his wish. He asked so little of you that you felt guilty even thinking of refusing him anything did want.

“Fuck, Jake.” You let out a shaky breath, feeling your muscles tense and your walls clench around his fingers. He did nothing but continue working at you, keeping a steady pace and continuous movement. Your fingers tightened against the strands of his hair, keeping you grounded as the world started to spin. You couldn’t even manage another word before the orgasm washed over you with a ferocious intensity. He tightened his grip on you, making sure you would not stumble and fall to the ground. You managed his name through the waves of pleasure, singing it like a hymn. Jake was the god you prayed to and the devil you feared. He was the angels watching over you and the sins you committed. He was everything and anything all at once, and although it was confusing, it was euphoric to be in the company of someone so magnificent. You hoped that you would never have to see a lifetime without him.

He slowly pulled away from you, making sure you were steady before removing your leg from his shoulder. With a shaky hand, you loosened your grip on his hair and moved it to his shoulder, supporting yourself with his help. “How was that, angel?” He asked, looking up at you. Your orgasm was glistening on his chin, like a trophy of the vulgarity you two had just engaged in.

“It was so good, baby.” You sighed, already recovered and ready for more. He stood, hands never leaving you as he did so. He wasn’t willing to stop touching you because he had spent the entire day believing he would never get the chance again. He guided you towards the chair placed in front of the vanity mirror. He unbuttoned his pants, only pulling them down to his knees before sitting in the chair. He wasn’t a fan of the time crunch, yet he was grateful for it all the same. It allowed him to give in to the temptation of you without needing any further excuses. He was certain that if he had to wait any longer, he might die from the agony alone.

He spit into his hand, stroking himself for a moment before reaching out for you and guiding you towards him. With your back to him and your legs on either side of his, he lined himself up with your entrance. “Waited so long for this, beautiful. You have no idea how many times I thought about having you like this again.” He murmured, lips just hovering over your ear. You took the intiative and lowered yourself onto him, both of you hissing in pleasure at the feeling after going so long without it.

“Just like this?” You asked, slowly gyrating your hips. He let out a hum of agreement, too lost in the pleasure to verbally express his feelings. “Did you touch yourself while you thought of me, Jacob?” You pressed, tone growing more firm the longer you spoke. His eyes snapped open, shocked that such a question had come from your mouth. “Hmm?” There was a fire in his pupil, like you had ignited a part of him he never knew existed.

“I don’t remember you being such a whore,” he said the word so sweetly, like it was far from insulting. But, being a whore for Jake was nowhere near insulting, and you would proudly admit to it any day of the week.

“Maybe you bring out the worst in me.” You hummed, looking forward and into the mirror, watching his face intently as the pleasure began to take over. “You didn’t answer my question, baby.”

“I did,” he groaned, your slow pace pushing him to the brink of insanity. You could feel him throbbing inside of you, desperate for more but willing to take what you were offering just so he could be close to you. “Every fucking night.” His fingers were burning into your hip, brandishing it with marks that would turn purple within minutes. He slipped his hand to the front of you, letting his middle finger find your clit so he could continue his torment. “Did you think of me when you were touching yourself?” He asked, eyes flickering up to your reflection.

“All of the time,” you sighed, leaning your head back to rest on his shoulder. He brought his free hand to your face, grabbing your cheeks between his fingers and forcing you to look back at the mirror.

“Keep watching, angel. Don’t miss all of the fun.” He said, pulling your earlobe between his teeth. You felt a flutter in your stomach, a warning from your body that it was going to explode if he didn’t slow down. “See how pretty you look with my cock inside of you?” Your hips stuttered, thrown off course by the vulgarity of his statement. “Don’t you think so?”

“Y-yes, sir.” You whimpered, weak from the tone of voice he was using. It was filled with power, yet coddling you at the same time. It was intoxicating, and you were a complete fool for him, eager to stay drunk off of it forever.

“Fuck you feel good,” he hissed, turning his head inwards to place a kiss to your neck. “Could fuck you all day.”

“We have the rest of our lives.” You whispered, barely realizing the weight of your words until the movement in his hands stuttered. He smiled against you as if you had given him the most wonderful gift in the world.

“We have the rest of our lives,” he agreed, trailing kisses from your neck to your shoulder. He dropped his hand from your face, bringing it to your breast as he rolled your nipple between his fingers. You arched your back at the feeling, only allowing him to thrust in even deeper as you came back down on him. You let out a whine, the tip of his cock brushing against your cervix in a painful type of pleasure. He sped his fingers, knowing that as much as he wished to keep fucking you all night, he would need to leave soon. He felt you clench around him, your legs shaking as you tried to keep your pace steady. “Are you going to cum for me, sweet girl?” He muttered, eyes flickering up to watch the reflection. “Do you want to cum for me?”

“G-god yes,” you stuttered, holding on to his arm for extra support. He took in a long breath in attempt to calm himself, feeling dangerously close to the edge, too.

“Okay, baby. Want to watch you while you cum on my cock.” He encouraged, gaze focused on your face in the mirror. “Be a good girl for me.” He whispered, speeding his fingers ever so slightly. That was all you needed to come undone, head spinning with no real thoughts as your body vibrated against his hold. Your eyes were squeezed shut, his name stuck on your lips like it was the only thing you knew how to say. His jaw was clenched, knowing that he couldn’t hold on any longer, feral from the noises you were making for him. “That’s it,” he hummed, letting out a groan through gritted teeth.

When you started to relax against him, he took his window of opportunity and brought both of his hands to your hips. He pulled you down on him, forceful and loving all at the same time. You let out a yelp, all of your nerves still tingling with the ghost of pleasure. You leaned forward, grabbing on to the edge of the table to hold yourself steady while he fucked into you. It only took him a few moments to catch up, his orgasm long overdue and just as intense as your own. He spilled into you, muttering curses as he fucked his own release back into you. After a moment, he tapered his movements to a halt. You both sat there together for a moment, breathless and scared to move in fear of ruining the moment.

Eventually, he carefully stood, moving his hand to catch any potential mess as he pulled out of you. You sighed, disappointed at the loss of contact once he was fully parted from you. “Come on, let’s get cleaned up.” He said, motioning his head towards the bathroom.

“Yeah, okay.” You breathed, following after him to erase any evidence of the sinful activities you had engaged in. Once you finished, you searched your room for the clothes you had arrived in that morning, finding them in a pile on the floor. You slipped on the sweatpants and the t-shirt, a smile permanently stuck on your lips as you turned to face him.

“What are you smiling about?” He said, teasing you while knowing he had the same one on his own face.

“You,”

“Me, too.” He said, taking a step towards you. “I love you so much, y/n.” He mumbled, taking your face between his hands.

“I love you, Jake.” You said, wrapping your arms around him to pull him into a hug. He did the same, holding you just as tight.

“So, uh, maybe I should have asked sooner…” he started, pulling back so he could look down at your face. You watched him, wondering what could possibly be floating around in his brain. “Would you… would you like to be my girlfriend, maybe?” You laughed at his nervous stature, feeling a blush spread across your cheeks to match his own.

“I would love nothing more, Jacob.” You giggled, elated at the childish glee that overwhelmed his expression. He leaned down, placing a small kiss on your lips. Just as he did so, a knock sounded on your door. “Showtime,” You chucked.

“Showtime,” he agreed, hesitant to let you go, almost as if he was scared you wouldn’t be here once he got off stage.

“Go, I’ll be waiting for you right here when you’re done.” You said, urging him to listen to Aaron’s instruction. He nodded, leaning down and placing another short-lived kiss on your lips.

“Okay,” he sighed, moving away and towards the door. Just as he opened it, he looked back at you for a moment. “Thank you for sharing your secrets with me, Gold Dust Woman. They were far better than I ever imagined.” You laughed at his words, feeling the happy tears begging to make another appearance.

“It was a pleasure sharing them with you, Jake. Now go on, you’re going to do great tonight.” You shooed him away.

“I love you.”

“I love you.” You replied, blowing him a kiss. His eyes sparkled with adoration as he reached out, pretending to catch it. He then proceeded to pretend to shove it in his pocket before turning away.

“That’s my good luck charm.” He said, but he was gone before you could reply.

Slowly, you made your way towards the door and out into the hallway. Dylan was sitting on the side stage, looking back at your room with a hopeful expression. You gave her a nod and a thumbs up, barely able to contain your glee. She grinned, ecstatic at the news and already wanting to know all about it. You approached her, standing by her side as you looked out at the stage. She was caught up in Danny, who was sitting eagerly behind his drums, and you were caught up in Jake, who was already strumming away at his guitar. Even Sam, who was across the stage, had a smile on his face, knowing that he would be alright. The world seemed okay, and that was something you were eternally grateful for. You never pictured things turning out so perfectly, but even the most brutal of storms left a rainbow shining brightly in the sky.

You wrapped an arm around Dylan, your chest finally free from the aching pain that had been ravishing it for weeks. As you watched Jake, you knew that there was no doubt in your decision to love him. There was something eternal about the two of you, like when the oceans meet the rivers, and when the river meets the sand, leading you all across the earth until you find water once more. It was similar to how the day turned into dusk, only for the midnight skies to turn blue once again. An endless cycle that was the only permanent comfort in life. You could love Jake in every lifetime and never grow tired of it, and at the very end, you would still feel like you could love him even more than you already had. You would share every secret and untold story, and hope to make every memory and experience with him as beautiful as humanly possible. He was your lesson, the one you had been dreading for so long, but you were so grateful that you opened your mind for long enough to learn it.

He was your forever, and you were his Gold Dust Woman, just like it was always meant to be.

GOLD DUST WOMAN

TAGLIST: @itsdannysworld @gretavansara @jaketlove @laneygvf @freefallthoughts @psychedelicsprinkles @idontwannabeherenow @joshysgirl @sanguinebats @objectsinspvce @klarxtr @sinarainbows @jakesmustache @gvfpal @hellowgoodbye @profitofthedune

[kithtaehyung]

[ minted ] so!! quick update: I’M HAVING SO MUCH FUN😭 this world and these characters are quickly capturing my heart, and are showing me a multitude of things i didn’t even think to add before. it’s wild, it’s gritty, it’s electric. it’s getting me to want to write again🥹

with that being said! there’s gonna be multiple parts. the total word count is heading into the 15k-20k range easily, and that’s not even counting how i always estimate 5k per 🌶️🌶️🌶️ scene.

just wanted to let y’all know! i’m thinking 2-3 parts total. so let’s get it and have one hell of a time with minted yoongi!

links: teaser | snippet | masterlist

[swifty-fox]

Oh trust me I’ve been keeping up with Kingdom for a Kiss since chapter one!! All I want in a fic is Gale treated like the webkinz cat soaked in milk and slammed against a wall so thank you so much. Looking forward to him getting a break at some point though lol I’ve been thinking about “They hurt me too” non stop 😭💔 but either way. Gale angst <3

(also I’ve never needed anyone as bad as I need burnout John maybe)

Burnout John wouldn't fix me but I'm happy to get worse for him <3

I gotta say I am writing the last 10-15k of kingdom for a kiss and it is..... deeply bittersweet. I've never had to let go of a project like this before and idk how to Cope.

“Let’s make a pact.” Marge announces, swiping her cheeks clear.

“Ontop of the lavender one we already got?”

Her well aimed elbow has him laughing and he clicks Trix into a faster gait just so Marge has to lean forward for momentary balance. 

“We be happy. Not by circumstance or by waiting. We be happy by force.”

Voice steely sure and confident, head held high as if she were addressing a squadron and not the flickering ears of Gale’s mare. They twitched back curiously, as if understanding every word of the conversation. 

“I’ll marry you and we’ll have a couple little ones. You’ll be Papa and Irene and I will both be mama. Maybe we’ll find you a fella even. Some tall ox of a man with nice hair and kind hands. We’ll build our own paradise here and we’ll be happy.” 

Gale drops his face into the divot of Marge’s shoulder, surrounds himself in her perfume and the smile he hides there is as painful as it is fond. 

“That how you figure?”

[chaos-in-deepspace]

15k is crazy work 😭

I can confidentially say every time I checked the word count while writing this I got more and more concerned. Just watching it go up like "Wait...this wasn't...this wasn't supposed to be this long."

We live with out decisions.

[meidui]

10 questions for writers!

tagged by @fandomfluffandfuck 🥰

1. how many works do you have on AO3? 135

2. what’s your total AO3 word count? 343,536

3. what fandoms do you write for? just marvel these days!

4. do you respond to comments? why or why not? yes!!!! because i'm happy as a clam when i get a comment and i want everyone to know how happy and grateful i am that they not only read my fic but wrote a comment too 🥺 also it's so much fun to comment back and forth and sometimes new fic ideas (mostly sequel ideas.....) are born there, and it's so great to get to share things i thought while i was working on it

5. have you ever had a fic stolen? nooo not that i know of

6. have you ever co-written a fic before? yes, mostly on heartbreak prince with @areiton! i love writing with arei and watching her work her word magic <3

7. what’s your all-time favourite ship? stevetony- i don't know if i'll ever be able to let those two go

8. what are your writing strengths? soft scenes? sometimes i also get comments about how my steve and tony are in character which is always nice hehe

9. what are your writing weaknesses? for some reason every time i have an idea and buckle down to write heavy angst or something sort of fucked up it just ends up being sort of soft anyway and it's so frustrating sometimes 😭 i also have a hard time writing long fics and i have no idea why, the longest one i've ever written was steve's birthday fic this year which was almost 15k and i made sure everyone knew that hahahahah

10. first fandom you wrote for? exo!

tagging @ishipallthings @robertdowneyjjr @omg-just-peachy @fohatic @cinderellasfella @16woodsequ and everyone who writes fics 🥰

[fluxweeed]

Fandom creators self rec game! Choose five favourites from your own creations (and tell me why, if you like!), then pass on to at least five other people. I'd love to hear what you're proudest of.

OH MY tacky i really really appreciate u sending this my way but do u know how much of a challenge this was 😭 i could give you my most hated soooo much easier!!! but after literally a week of deliberation (so sorry!!!) here is my answer!! i think "favourite" and "proudest of" are two different categories for me – i went with "favourite" here bc i think a proper answer for "proudest of" would need at least 3 hours and input from a licensed therapist

Still the pine-woods scent the moon – 15.5k, E, remus/harry

this was sooo different to anything i’d done before – both in terms of pairing (remus/harry), style (2nd person, slightly higher register) and attitude (really tried to be chill about the process instead of hating every second lmao). there are still many things i think could have been done much better, but i think this is the closest i’ve come to liking one of my fics 😖

The Taste of Țuică – 15k, E, ron/harry/draco

this was actually another attempt to make myself enjoy writing – i remembered that when i was younger, i found 1st person easiest to write, so i figured i’d give that a go and see what happened. i was also trying to get better at actually describing locations (a goal i think i immediately abandoned after this fic lmao whoops) so i spent a lot of time coming up with the stupid Rich Person details of draco’s bedroom – it was a fun challenge to try to improve one of my weaker areas!!

For Lack of Wanting – 8.5k, E, drarry

i’d had the image of draco acting like his old self and harry being into it in my head for ages, but i never really imagined it to turn out as angsty as this ended up being – but it was fun to try to capture a different mood than i usually go for! was still really trying to not be so grumpy about writing with this one – there’s a loooot of stuff in this that’s pretty clumsy, but i decided not to care on purpose bc i wanted to focus on the sexy sadness of it all instead 😅

Fresh Eyes – 250, M, drarry

idk man i’m usually such a fucking rambler (last month i posted a stupid PWP that takes place in a single morning and it was a whole 17k words) that i’m lowkey pleased i managed to do anything coherent with 250 words. also i love doing the thing where something is different on a second read.

Thirst – 4.5k, E, drarry

this is quite old and i don’t think it’s particularly good in any sense but there’s a soft spot in my heart for it anyway. i think maybe i’m just into vampires ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

@tackytigerfic i really really loved reading your thoughts about your five faves! it always makes me so happy to see you talk about modern love in particular – having a fic that is the one you always wanted to write, was easy to do and evokes fondness years on is such a dream!! my heart warms every time you talk about it!!! + thank u again for tagging (does this count as a tag?) me in this!

[starjxsung]

Hey Star!!

No idea what to say on my first ask here, so maybe talk about your favorite genres to write and why? And maybe your favorite members to write about?

Also, I was really curious about one thing. You mentioned how your next fic will probably be divided into two iirc and that made me wonder if one day you’d ever write a chaptered fic? I would absolutely love to read something like from you cause more chapters would mean more room for plot and character building without feeling constrained to a certain word limit!!

This was probably so fucking counterintuitive considering you created this blog for random asks and here I am asking about fic shit SORRY ILY 🩷

~🌷~

HI ANGEL don’t apologize I love love loooove getting these kinds of questions !!

Favorite genres. I do love contemporary romance within the realm of strangers to lovers or common romance tropes within contemporary romance, especially friends to lovers or a specific dynamic / occupation like bartender x reader, professor x reader, etc. I like these because I feel like there’s so much you can do with the pining and the sexual tension leading up to when the characters finally get together and it’s so much fun to illustrate sexual chemistry. I love characters with a small barrier between them- i.e. one already has a significant other, they initially hate each other in the beginning, it’s a “forbidden romance”, etc. I feel like when done correctly these can be particularly fun and sort of break the boundaries of what you’d normally expect from these relationships!

I actually never mentioned this on main™️, but I have also been working on a sci-fi romance based in the realm of a “high-tech Tokyo cyberpunk metropolis” setting for quite some time, and it’s been really exciting to illustrate, but also there’s so much you can do with plot and character development that I really love about the genre. It definitely won’t see the light of day on this site, and even then its farrrr too long (I think just chapter 1 alone sits at roughly 15K words) but I’m set on the direction I want it to take and when it’s finished I’d love to get it physically bound into a personal copy if possible. My sister’s been pushing me to get it professionally published and she’s really into the plot, but I would have to be both closer to its finish AND know what I want out of a publishing site because I’m nottttt about to have my work professionally stolen. 😭 it does also currently involve 2 skz members for visual inspo (but obviously names would be changed upon hypothetical publication). But yeah! Lil fun fact in addition to my other projects 🌃

I would love to create a chaptered series at some point! I definitely have to go through my current “to write” list and see what can best be broken out into chapters, but I think scheduled releases and taking the time to really build out characters and plot developments is super fun. Perhaps after my next release I’ll see what works best and see how I can do chapters 👼 I’m glad you brought this up because it crossed my mind briefly but I honestly didn’t think anyone would care for chaptered work and I’m excited to see there’s still appetite for it on this site !!

Anyways I’m sorry this was so long but thank you for these questions I genuinely enjoy answering them so much and I love you !!!!!! So much !!!!!! 👼💕💗💖💓💞

[chronicallyonline101]

hi!!!! this is the anon that sent in the Melone ask (if you recieved it), i was rereading Dumb Killers nd i have a few questions!!! if thats okay!!!

what inspired you to write it??? like its such a heavy fic, the chapters are SO long and we're 10 chpts in now without even half the cast introduced so i can imagine its got a long while to go !! how r u managing this??? are you okay mentally???

second of all, is it gonna follow canon? or have you got your own plot made up??

im excited for the next chapter !!! i cant wait to find out what happens with the team, and how Pesci will eventually join! that scene with (who i think was) Prosciutto's dad had me gasping lol

HI. I SQUEALED WHEN I READ THIS !!! ik u! I call you melone-anon to my friends cuz im currently writing ur request and its one of my favs 🤭🤭 it'll be out soon!! sozzies its taking so long ive got a few projects im working on atm so im a bit slow on everything !!

OKAY. SO. THIS IS GONNA BE WEIRD but the reason i wanted to write Dumb Killers is because i read this fic in like... January? I want to say? It was a La Squadra x reader and it was PERFECT. for some time... it was over 100k words, had a LOT of kudos and seemed pretty good but the thing was that it started out AMAZING and then like, after a few chapters turned into sensless smut... like, i LOVE smut but the plot of the fic stopped progressing because literally EVERY. OTHER. CHAPTER. the characters were getting freaky and i got bored and it pissed me off so bad i decided right then and there i needed to write my own fic!

i actually have imaginary beef with that author now cuz their fic has around 700 kudos and i wanna beat them BUT ANYWAYS. ENOUGH OF ME BEING JEALOUS OVER OTHER AUTHORS.

i feel a bit bad that the chapters are so long but i literally have no control over it 😭 i just start writing and by the time im done 20k lines the page... i looked on the ao3 subreddit to see if it was normal and was pleased to learn that on average most authors do around 10-15k SO IM NOT WEIRD.

ALSO. its only long rn cuz its the introduction! Pesci will be introduced by chpt 12, and after that things start speeding up! prommies!

it will kinda follow canon??? i have my own plot in mind, and that plot will slowly bleed into canon! but its not gonna follow canon exactly, the events of GW are gonna unfold from La Squadra's POV up until Ghiaccio's fight, and then its gonna get a bit quirky (: BUT I CANT SPOIL. SO. TAKE WITH THAT WHAT YOU WILL!!!!

im so glad your enjoying!!! seeing comments like these makes me giggle nd kick my legs 🤧🤧 and yes! It was Prosciutto's dad! well done! 😚😚 im giving you a big kiss! i hope you like the next chapter! it should be out soon!!!!

[thesovereignsring-if]

DEVLOG #1 (08/21/23)

Hi! It's Lili. This is gonna be my first ever Devlog. I'll be posting these biweekly every Monday until I open up a patreon. After that these devlogs will become monthly updates.

Moving on!

Demo: Prologue

The demo is out! You can play it here. I'm overwhelmed with the feedback so far, I was not expecting so many people to play and enjoy the demo. 😭 Thank you very much everyone. I'd love to hear more about players MC(s) and their thoughts as the chapters go along.

With the next update I'll also be going back and adding some more grumpy/stoic replies for the mini-Sieg MC(s) out there who want to be a lil grouchy on their birthday! :)

Chapter 1

Let's talk about Chapter 1 a bit.

Chapter 1 is going through a little shuffle of events and scenes as I flesh out the scenario and the world lore. The more I write, the more beefy and dense it becomes. As of tonight I'm sitting at 15k+ words with a half-finished intro and a middle part that needs some revisions. By the end of it, I expect Chapter 1 to be around 20-30k in words. Nearly double the Prologue!!

I'm contemplating splitting its release into two parts as the final part of Chapter 1 is an explorable location with some lore and new characters. (After Chapter 1, most chapters will be two part releases.)

The end of Chapter 1 will have players make a choice which will take them down one of the two branching routes that will comprise most the first half of Chapter 2. Each route will have you teaming up with another character as your sidekick! I think it will be good fun :D

A few things to expect for Chapter 1:

Meet some Imperial Generals and learn about some recent developments in the Empire.

Choose your educational background.

Have dinner with your mother the Empress.

Catch up in life with one of your brothers. :D

Meet the final two characters of the Main Cast :)

Have some nice dreams. <3 <3

Excerpt: “By rights of succession, all the Vagnyrs should have been put to the blade and Thyra’s whelp would ascend, but our Empress would rather shove a bull’s cock up her ass before she lets Thyra anywhere close to the throne!” Bellerophyn scoffs, “and you really think the rest of the Council would accept that cursed crippled boy as Emperor? If so, then you’re the real fool, Wolfram.” 

[rowanisawriter]

re: the weird questions for writers!!!!

5, 17, 40 :)

hiiiii bestie thank you!!!

answering these weird writer asks here!

5. Do you have any writing superstitions? What are they and why are they 100% true?

lol basically it is guaranteed that if i write something and i think it’s kinda mid, it will become one of my more popular fics haha i like everything i write but i like some things more than others, and those fics i write that give me true brainrot always go under the radar 😭😂

40. Please share a poem with me, I need it.

i’m memorizing a poem every month this year and here is my january poem, it’s preludes by t.s. eliot and i love the rhythm of it, the way it feels like we’re peering into these peoples lives, the way the city eats everyone and turns them into just body parts eyes mouths hands feet etc, it’s easy to memorize too

17. Talk to me about the minutiae of your current WIP. Tell me about the lore, the history, the detail, the things that won’t make it in the text.

ok putting this under a cut because i’m in the mood to complain about my modern AU..

i wrote a gale/durge modern AU that i’ve been sharing like snippets of and usually when i write something i can easily tell when it’s ready and i am struggling so much with this one, it’s not even that long like 15k words. it just won’t be done!! i keep going back in and making changes or adding little things, even the title came to me a month after i finished writing it which is weird for me. also i had a kinda related original work i’ve been slacking on that is semi related to this fic, so everything’s become kinda tangled up like between this fic, the original work, it’s all a mess now lol. anyway i do think i’ll just publish it soon and get it out of the way because really it seems i’m getting to that point where i hate the fic but there’s probably really nothing wrong with it anyway if you’ve read this far let’s get married