#and then he was like u know what.. might as well see if i can play it
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A. dumah
B. I don't remember my wings that well, but definitely closer to a lighter shade. Perhaps bronze or sandy brown
C. I was a lower ranking angel, tasked with observing humanity. Not intervening
D. See above
E. I didn't fall, I reincarnated to earth as a human being and I still consider my species to be an angel
F. I remember being in a beautiful garden at some point. My mind felt light and airy, and I "felt" things around me with spatial awareness instead of objectively viewing it. If you asked me to describe a single plant or creature in this garden I wouldn't be able to.
G. I resonate with the element fire because I was born in December. My dad was sick with cancer when I was born, and they told him he might not live. After I was born, he got better. I always attach this to the transformative power of fire, and my angelic abilities are still attached to me in utero.
H. I'm a biblical angel, so I guess more likely the Christian god. I don't remember him though, just a faint memory of Him being present.
I. I feel I became confined to earth after observing humans for so long. I think at some point I wanted to be involved more than I was, so I decided to join.
K. The advantage of being an angel on earth really depends on your definition of an advantage. My definition is having more freedom, being able to touch, see and experience the world like a proper mammal rather than like a divine being. You miss out on a lot when you lack the 5 senses.
L. A disadvantage. There are many. When you're an angel, you don't get tired, you don't need to go to the bathroom, you don't need to eat. Suddenly all these things that make you human become an exhausting task that you have to be involved in, all the time. There are more, but I want to keep this short.
M. I was around during the holy war. The crusade before crusades. I remember a few angels starting to feel less angelic over time, and it was like a ripple effect amongst the loyal. Suddenly, the side I was on with my brother Michael felt less and less like the winning side, and more like the side you pick when there's no better option. I desired the same freedoms as the other side but I suppose I was too cowardly to take it.
N. No one around me knows my identity. I feel like it's unnecessary to tell anyone. I can never go back to what I was. The best thing I can do is live my life as heavenly as I can in my current life.
O. Funnily enough, I started suspecting i was something more at a very young age. I didn't know quite what. I remember having mental shifts in the church growing up, and having visions about winged creatures when I was around 10. I discovered angels outside of the Bible and for the first time I felt like these things were the best thing I could use to describe myself.
P. Lol. I was hoping this question would come up. O fortuna is at the top of my list. It always gives me chills. Any songs in Latin or slavic-based languages always makes me go into mental shifts.
Q. To feel angelic, I watch movies with angels in them, read books with angels in them, exercise and ride my bike to just feel the wind against my face. I go to the park with a long black coat on and listen to music, and just watch people. Sometimes I talk to them, but not often because I can be quite introverted.
R. See above. I also veil on occasion, especially when I'm around religious buildings or graveyards or when meditating. (I do not pray to the Christian god)
S. I'm not repelled by religious buildings. I'm also not attracted to them. But when I step inside a place that has been cleansed, anointed or used for worship, I can get mental shifts and my vibration raises to the point that I believe that religious figures and children can feel.
T. Good question. Unfortunately I don't know what my halo looked like. I'm assuming it was closer to light than a physical object, maybe light that my divinity gave off. Like a rainbow spectrum or pure white. 🤷♀️ no clue.
U. If I did, I don't remember.
V. Not prophetic dreams, but I've had vivid dreams and nightmares about snakes, naked human beings, violence, starvation and fire. I have had many dreams of what I believe to be pre-flood events on earth, where animosity & disbelief became more rampant between Him and humans.
W. Nope
X. Anywhere that has a beautiful garden. I also like fountains, aquariums, the forest and jungle
Y. Nope
X. I remember being in Europe at some point. I don't know exactly where, I just remember hearing some francophone language being spoken, and there was a lot of political unrest. Unfortunately, the details were never that important to anyone, and as I've mentioned before, I didn't see things the same way as an angel as I do now. My best guess would be middle ages or less. They seemed to be very complicated with the Catholic church back then.
I hope you enjoyed my answers as much as i enjoyed answering them
Angelic Ask Meme
I’ve been meaning to make one of these for a while…send some to my ask, and feel free to reblog!
A-what is your angelic name? B-what did your wings look like? C-what are you an angel of? D-what order or rank of angel are you? E-did you fall? If so, why? F-describe a random angelic memory G-what element/s do you align with? H-do you remember or follow any gods? I-do you know or suspect why you are earthbound? J-what other angels were you close to? K-an advantage to being an angel on earth? L-a disadvantage to being an angel on earth? M-were you around during the war? If so, what side were you on? N-does anyone irl know you’re an angel? O-how long have you known you’re Angelic? P-what is a song that reminds you of being angelic, or of an angelic memory? Q-what is something you do to feel angelic? R-have anything you wear that makes you feel like your angelic self? S-are you attracted to places of worship, or repelled by them? T-what did your halo look like? U-any angels you had a rivalry with? V-ever have any prophetic dreams, or things like that? W-are you an empath/psychic/medium/etc? X-any places on earth that remind you of home? Y-ever had irl contact with other divines in this life? Z-have any past earthbound life memories?
#angelkin#otherkin#fallen angelkin#alterhuman#angels#divinekin#uttering hymns#lgbtqia#tumblr milestone#demonkin#fallen angel
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fang i need to see yukimiya with an oversexed s/o so bad
i think about this all the time bc of hypersexuality
tags for some implied religious trauma on mr yukimiyas part and very explicit sexual content. reader is very wanton lol, 18+
it is . sooooo hard for him. the thing is yukimiya genuinely thinks of you as such a warm, kind person. his feelings for you are so deep and sincere and completely removed from any lust he might feel for you. or at least that lust is intertwined with a stronger desire to be gentle and intimate and sweet with you yk
but you are sooooo horny and so shameless and it is soooo much for that poor boy. i do genuinely think yukimiya has like self imposed saving himself for marriage thing. and he's super upfront about it with you from the start bc u so obviously want to jump his bones. he has a very Strong sense of discipline overall.
like the first time you kiss you're just like... all over him. hands in his hair, pressed against his lap, tongue in mouth and he is trying to handle all the sensory input and failing. he has to PRY you off of him and he's so red and he's like no no we can't go any further.
and you pout jokingly but you never push him. you're so sweet about it, maybe a little teasing but that's it. you always express your desires and voice them, always tell him whats on you mind. if you think he looks handsome or sexy or whatever—you'll sort of fidget with the end of your straw and bite and make a comment so unbelievably lewd before moving right along.
you make these like... eyes at him. fuck me eyes, he's heard the term before but he didn't really get it until he met you. you know exactly what you want from him and you're thinking about how you can get it. a little dazed, very determined. always gets him sooo flush.
you brush things off easily enough when he blows you off about it. you're a lot but you're not....forceful or anything. he makes a little face of faux disappointment and you laugh it off and thats all there really is but the longer you date the less he feels sure of himself.
yukimiya wanted to get married young and didnt see a whole lot of purpose in trying to lose virginity to someone he didn't love so he held onto it for longer than most people. that plus growing up religious its just something he was so sure about it.
and he does want to treat you well. marry you. yukimiya is the first guy to ever be such a gentleman to you and he doesnt want to taint that because of his own ...desires. its dirty to him. he doesn't think it's bad when you want things, but it's different when he wants things.
but it gets. harder and harder. you're so forward and you are also so good at touching him (too good) and so attractive already without trying very hard. you could do anything and look insanely beautiful to him but god.
you really don't go farther than making out and heavy petting. but that in itself gets so obscene. the way you space out your kisses, the way you flick your tongue - how your hands slide up his chest and neck, thumb rubbing against his ears, how you carry your weight in his lap, how you use your teeth. you kiss him like you could eat him whole.
when your hand gets on his belt he always loses his sense of reason - only barely tears himself a way from it each time. half-hard and apologetic. eventually you get the feeling that he's not even... it's not like he doesn't want to do it but he's holding onto beliefs he only barely has.
you have to have a long conversation about it i think. give him a peptalk about how you know how much he loves you and sex can be intimate too etc. when he's still resistant to it, you make a compromise. no penetration until he's ready, even if that means marriage. no sex. you think its silly but it helps him make sense of everything.
i think he agrees to this kind of blindly, assuming it will take the edge and tension off. like letting the pressure out slowly so something doesnt explode.
but. once you open that box, you can't really close it again.
so you do everything but have sex. and it absolutely makes him want to fuck you.
its light at first. dry humping while you make out and making him cum in his jeans. giving a handjob or teaching him how to finger you ("for when you do fuck me, someday"). directing him on how exactly you like getting head - on foreplay, your sure hands over his shaky ones as he make him squeeze your tits and guide them into his mouth. tell him the other places on your body you like being touched.
you teach him things about his own body too. or rather, he learns them because of you. his ears get red and sensitive, he likes when you bite his ear lobes lightly.his lips too. likes your hands on his biceps or chest or back, kissing and rubbing his muscles appreciatively. it does something to him. he knows he's attractive but it's... different. it's a nice feeling to be wanted but being wanted by you makes his whole body break into these terrible shivers.
he learns that the tip of his cock is way more sensitve than it should be. he learns he doesn't mind when you take advantage of this either.
he's got a few moles on his body and he likes how you kiss them when you go down on him. on his hip and inner thigh and some other places. likes when you rub up against him in general, when you cling to him during it or when your nails dig into his arms
yukimiya likes how... relaxed you get when you feel good. the first time he makes you cum with his mouth he feels so absurdly accomplished, even more so when you giggle at him and kiss him so full of love.
nothing changes. you go on dates and see each other. sleep in the same bed. but when you stay over at his place now - he's started to anticipate your little escapades.
no penetration. he knows that should mean not getting his dick anywhere near you. but you're persuasive. it's fine, yuu-kun. just slide your dick against me, it'll feel good. you can do it between my thighs, if you want.
the first time yukimiya slides his hard cock through the soft, slick folds of your pussy he nearly passes out. randomly on a date night. it just turns out that way. your hands on the back of his neck, kissing him as it slips through the sticky warmth.
it feels so good. it's mindblowing. it's so unfair. how can something feeling so much better when everything else you've been feeling had felt so incredible? how can there be anything more tempting than what you already do?
but there is. its you with your ass up and your thighs squeeze as yukimiya fucks the plush of them - tip knocking against your clit, catching on your hole, one misstep away from thrusting. the thought haunts him even as he's cumming up against your belly and thighs.
there's a guilt he feels about greed in particular, even more than lust. sometimes you go at it and he just. can't help it. can't help but want more. can't help but shamefully jerk off in the bathroom after you've already done it for a while.
you come onto him the same as always, more now that he's receptive to it but god he can never turn down your advances. even when it'd be smarter to do it. all it takes is his name now, or maybe just you taking his glasses off so it's a little easier to kiss him. it scares him a little, just how easy it'd be to slip up and . take you really. thin threads of control fraying as he gets close and closer to just giving you what you want.
it's Hard. he holds onto it for so long. i think he snaps eventually when you do something very thoughtful for him on a bday or anniversay and he just becomes uncharacteristcally aggressive (not that ur mad) and u have such intense deep missionary. like eye contact, chest to chest, slow rolling of his hips while he grinds into you. it is such a crazy feeling.
yukimiya just really. bends to your whims after you have these breakthroughs. he is so unbearably seduced by you even when he tries so hard to fight but it . god its rough on his brain. shame and pleasure are not opposites for him, that's for sure.
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I LOVE UR TIM FICS SM HES LITERALLY MY BABY I LOVE HEARING PPL TALK ABT HIM MORE‼️‼️
Anyway I was wondering if I could request a fic of reader teasing/flirting with Tim to see him blush and maybe throw in some smooches stolen
TY IF U CHOOSE TO WRITE THIS 🙏🙏
Tim, are you blushing? | tim drake x reader
a/n: sorry for the wait, i hope you like this <3
For someone so brilliant, so capable of leading teams and solving impossible cases, Tim turned into an adorable mess when flustered.
And you? Well, you'd made it your personal mission to see that blush as often as possible. Because after all, if a loophole is present, why not take advantage of it?
"Hey, pretty boy," you called out, leaning against the doorframe of the Batcave's computer station. Tim was hunched over the keyboard, analyzing some ridiculously complex case. Typical.
He hummed in acknowledgment, not looking up. So absorbed into his work he did not even hear you properly.
You grinned, skipping over to where he was sitting. "You know, for someone with such amazing detective skills, you're pretty oblivious."
That got his attention. "What do you mean?"
"Well," you draped yourself over the back of his chair, your breath tickling his ear, "you haven't noticed I've been wearing your hoodie all day."
Tim's typing stuttered to a halt. He turned slowly, those blue eyes widening as he finally noticed his favorite hoodie draped over your frame. His scent, the mix of tea, lavender and talk is so strong and most of all, it all over you.
"I- when did you-" A pink tint crept up his neck.
"This morning. After you left for patrol" You hummed, moving to sit besides him. "It's super comfy. I might keep it."
"That's- I mean-" He cleared his throat, trying to regain his composure. "You can't just steal my clothes."
"Why not? Do I not look good in it?," you grinned, showing off your figure teasingly. And there it was. That full-blown blush you'd been aiming for. "Besides, you love seeing me in your clothes. Don't even try to deny it."
Tim ran a hand through his messy black hair, a nervous habit you know too well by now. "You're– i.. Well, damn it" he stutters flustered as he bites his lower lip.
His blue eyes looking at yours intensly, his face illuminated thanks to the batcave computer. And you did not miss how his eyes darted from your face to your lips. Well… who are you lose an opportunity, right? You lean over and quickly steal a peck.
A rather embarrassing yet endearing quiet moan leaves his lips at the unexpected yet welcome contact.
“You did not just..” he looks at you with his mouth slightly apart like a fish.
You reached out, gently brushing his bangs from his eyes. "Aw, so cute." it was not meant to come accross in a mocking way, but objectively speaking, you were feeling so damn cocky right now.
Your comment is what makes him react though. In a few seconds he stood up, his hands on your waist squeezing, as his forehead rests against yours. So close, damn he is so hot. Your heart did a little flip at the sudden proximity.
"You think you're so clever, don't you?"
"I know I am."
"Always teasing me," he murmured, leaning somehow even closer. "Always trying to make me blush."
"Can you blame me? You're adorable when you're flustered. I just wanna kiss you senseless."
His eyes flickered to your lips. "Maybe I should return the favor."
Before you could come up with a witty response, he was the one to closed the distance this time, pressing his lips to yours in a sweet, soft kiss. It was your turn to be surprised, melting into him as one of his hands moved to cup your cheek.
When he pulled back, there was a triumphant gleam in his eyes. "Now who's blushing?"
You laugh quietly. "Always needing to have the last word hmm?" Your hands go on his hips.
You two spent the rest of your afternoon kissing. Smiling maybe too much for it to be perfect, but somehow that made it even better. And if anyone noticed that Tim's productivity took a serious hit that afternoon, or the fact that he looked like he ran a marathon-- with his messy hair, panting breath, red cheeks and puffy lips-- well, nobody pointed it out.
© GLAMOURSCAT (all rights reserved. do not share, modify, translate and re-upload my work outside of tumblr)
#tim drake x reader#this is so soft i'm dying#i need him#tim drake needs more kisses#tim drake#tim drake x you#tim drake x fem!reader#tim drake x male reader#tim drake x gn!reader#tim drake fanfiction#tim drake fluff#tim drake fic#red robin x reader#red robin fanfiction#red robin dc#timothy drake#batfam fanfic#fluff#batfamily fanfiction
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Currently thinking about sucking and licking Josh's dick until he can't think straight. Maybe Chris decides to call him and you force him to answer even though he's a mess and he can't concentrate at all with your hand permanently stroking him when your mouth is taking a break
... kay ngl im throwing a littlw Chris into this Josh one... cuz uh.. need them both reaaaaaal baddddd
this is gonna be mega long guys
Sub!Josh who's legs are spread while sat on the edge of the bed, you between them kissing and sucking up his length while he throws his head back with loud moans and groans
Sub!Josh who's legs jumps when his phone goes off next to his hand- quickly going to silence it before you grab his hand and stare up at him with a grin
"Nono.. see who it is.."
"w-why?"
"Don't talk back to me."
"Yes ma'am- sorry."
When josh realizes its Chris he shows you and you grin more
"Answer."
He goes to question you but knows you'll make it worse for him if he does- he sucks it up and answers- putting the phone between his ear and shoulder as he tries to catch his breath, noticing you pausing your movements as he gets a false hope you'd let him talk to Chris for a sec
Wrong.
You take his whole length into your mouth and shove your nose into his pubic hair as he silently gasps- trying to not give anything away.
"Hey, Man- so i sort of fucked up on this game and have no idea how to go back but i know you do can y-"
"- h-hey- Man um- yeah- i can-ohfuck- help.."
"....okay.. are- are you okay? you seem- frustrated or like out of breath-"
"- Yes!- yes- fine i'm fine, Chris just- what do you need?"
You stare at him with a smirk as you pull back and lick under his base- dripping drool down his balls as he looks down- his eyes rolling back as his mouth drops- hardly paying attention to Chris and almost moaning into the mic of his phone
" and it paused and i cant figure out how t- okay- Josh. Are you seriously okay? youre barely even responding."
"Y-yes, fuck- i'm fine, keep explaing it Chris..."
".... i feel like i might've interrupted something..."
"...well...um... sort of.."
"...IS YOUR GIRLFRIEND GIVING YOU HEAD WHILE ON THE PHONE WITH ME!?"
"........You called at a really bad.. time.."
You laugh from between his legs and grab the phone and put it on speaker- feeling much braver than normal
"Hi Chris..."
"... h-hi... i can call Josh.. another time- sorry-"
"Do you want to stay on the phone, Chris?"
"... i-i mean- i'm not.. um.. i-......k-keep going."
"Called just in time- you'll get to hear a whole lot more than just some sick sucking."
You end up fucking Josh while Chris listened in and jerked off over the phone to both of your moaning. Little did he know you took your own phone and set it up to film you and Josh fucking.
Later sending Chris the video for fun
"Heres a little treat 4 u, Chrissssy."
*{attachment}*
"Holy fuck- am i allowed to use this for myself?"
"Why else would i send you it, Silly."
"Shit might even ask to join next time."
"... really?"
"... if you're both.. okay with it?"
"come over tomorrow?"
"Yes ma'am."
#until dawn#until dawn smut#until dawn x reader#dahli's.thots#until dawn chris#until dawn josh#need josh#joshua washington#josh washington x you#josh until dawn x reader#josh washington smut#chris hartley imagines#chris hartley imagine#until dawn chris hartley#chris hartley smut#chris hartley
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cuz im lowkey sick rn ill rewrite sick suiana x caretaker gojoe (plus sephrioth appearance...?) @suiana
shaurry it took me 2 months to finish skewl beat my ass with stupid assignments, tests, and presentation till it was 3 weeks b4 midterms 🤬
"Hawk, hawk.... TUAH!!" (sneeze) sigh... ive been sick for sometime now... i wish it would magically go away! i havent even been able to take care of myself properly... just me, myself, and i 😢. my hubby wubby, gogojoe, is away at war... i told him i was sick and said he was "hehehe On My Way!" he told me that a couple days ago and theres no sign of him! i would know if he was here anyway...
speaking of it, i think i hear what might be my blue orbed king! "hehehe yowaimo... yowaimo!!!" wow! its him! a few seconds later i hear a knock on the door and go to open it. just as i expected 🤓, gojoe is here! i start to cry... i cant believe its him.. 💔💔
"H-h-h-hey whatre you doing here?" i asked shyly as i looked up to his tall, buff body. he was so huge compared to my cute and petite body! 😍
"well kitten... you told me you were sick, so im here to nurse you back to health.. ❤️" he leaned his body onto my door frame, GYAT! he knows what that can do to meh ;-;
"oh okey... welcome in! 😊"
he skibidi daddled in and dropped a grocery bag on my table. is that... medicine!! wow he cares so much for me... i havent been able to do much since i got sick so he really is a live saver! 🤣
"here kitten... drink some the nyquil i got u.."
"okey my king" he hands me the nasty medicine and i gulp it down. damn that shit taste like ass! the medicine naturally made me drowsy and i fell a sleep, sort of difficult with gojos big blue orbs piercing though me.
i wake up to see a white haired, blue eyed king... who was not gojo!?!? its sephiroth from final fantasy!!!!!???? he smirks as he notices my surprise and walks up to my kawaii self..
"hey beautiful.." he says to me while putting his hand on my face. i gasp, i cant be doing this! im in love with gojo...
"sephiroth... i cant do this.. im shaurry... i have to go now." i then run away without looking back. i can hear him falling down to his knees and crying. i have to return to my bf gojoe... i miss him.. at some point i return to reality back where i was resting. i feel so guilty, i find gojoe and tackle him down and kiss him all over.
"'im sowwy gojo... i wuv you"
"heh what are you talking about?" he chuckles.
"um noting.."
idk cheating scandal ig the fic is OVER
i forgot how the og fic ended so i made it end like this
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best gift ever - lee taeyong
wc: 2.2k
summary: bsf!taeyong gives you the best gift you could ever ask for ♡
warnings: fluff, i definitely did not proofread this, doyoung cameo, f2l, taeyong is so cutie so biteable, fem!reader (as always), i tried keeping the holiday vague so if u see any mention of christmas lmk so it can be changed!
an: I LOVE BUBU !!! also as a hispanic person i celebrate early so im posting this on my christmas eve :333 happy holidays everyone !!!
───── ⋆⋅ ⊹ ⁺ 𐔌 ᩧ ຼ ͡ ৯ ♡໒⁀ ᩧຼ ꒱ིྀ ⁺ ⊹ ⋅⋆ ─────
bsf!taeyong who is absolutely smitten.
every time he goes to the store, you get a million notifications of him sending photos of something he finds, asking if you’d like it.
in the cold weather, he’s taken you out for more holiday activities and hot coffee/cocoa trips than he can count on all fingers and toes
he’s always sharing and giving up his warm winter clothes for you when you “forget”
when the snow starts falling in heavy, fluffy flakes and you ask for him to take pictures of you, he can’t help but let you know that you’re the most gorgeous girl he’s ever seen.
is it the cold that’s making his cheeks so pink, or is it something else?
“yongie, look how pretty the park is! can we go take pictures please?” you turn to him, bouncing on your feet excitedly. in the distance, you’re pointing to the park that’s blanketed in so much snow it’s like a winter wonderland.
he follows your finger and nods, allowing you to lead the way. you skip all the way to your photo spot of choice, being a tall pine tree covered in fluffy snowflakes. you hand taeyong your phone before bending down to pick up the snow in your bare hands, posing for the camera. immediately upon hearing the shutter, you switch poses, putting a bit of snow on your head before giving him a heart pose.
taeyong snaps another photo, his cheeks and nose pink as his mouth hangs open slightly. his breath fills the air with soft white clouds, yet he doesn’t feel a thing due to the warmth of his cheeks. pocketing your phone, he puts his gloves over your own hands all while avoiding eye contact.
“you looked so pretty in those pictures.. i think i might have to put them up somewhere!” he tries to sound fully invested in the moment, but as you lead him to another photo spot he’s feeling incredibly pensive, your beauty among the glittering landscape too much to handle.
bsf!yong who finally realizes his feelings might not be normal..
for the longest time, he thought it was just admiration, and was fairly casual about his emotions towards you.
however, after mentioning you for the thousandth time while you weren’t around, the idea of a crush was brought up.
with some serious pondering and a little bit of denial, taeyong realizes that it might be true
thankfully, he’s got a loving friend who will help him come out of such stupidity
“yes, and then after we went to-“
“taeyong.” doyoung cuts him off, holding his hand out to signal him to stop.
immediately he flushes, rubbing his neck. “what..? i wasn’t talking for too long, was i?”
the younger sighs heavily, mouth shaped into a flat line. “you were. you’re seriously embarrassing yourself, yong. you talk more about her than anything else.”
taeyong sinks back into his seat, feeling almost like a child caught in the cookie jar. so what he likes talking about his best friend all the time? he’s proud of their relationship, and thus of course will brag about it often. he thinks about you all day? well, you’re the person he hangs out with and sees the most, of course you’re going to be on his mind a lot. his positive and extremely affectionate attitude towards you is totally normal. very casual.
“so, what? she’s my best friend. anyone who’s a good friend will talk about them with pride.” he mumbles, looking anywhere but at his friend.
“that’s really what you think this is taeyong? you’re sure that this is all platonic admiration? you’re not in love or anything?” doyoung sounds like he’s truly scolding the other, but they both know it’s coming from a place of good nature where he’s really just teasing.
like in the movies, taeyong hears the words ‘in love’ and all of a sudden they’re repeatedly echoing in his mind. visions of him admiring you and hanging out with you wobble and rotate through his mind, and pictures of you smiling at him come into rotation. if he wasn’t already spiraling due to these thoughts, he sure was now.
“if i am in love with her.. how do i know? are you sure this isn’t just normal friend feelings?”
bsf!taeyong who starts plotting the minute he’s sure of his feelings.
it’s literally the day after his conversation with doyoung that he sees you once again
now that the idea of a crush is in his mind, the feeling in his chest upon seeing your face might actually not be normal
after he drops you back home, he heads right out to the store, going gift shopping for you another time, this time for gifts a little more romantic
your day of celebration is in two days, so he’s got some time but his plan needs lots of time to be thought through.
gifts and a heartfelt letter in tow, he heads back home to think of the big thing: how to do it.
with doyoung on speakerphone, he leaves his phone on the coffee table while he sits on the floor next to it wrapping your gifts. admittedly he went a little overboard, but if his confession goes well he has to show his gratitude somehow, right?
“i don’t know, doie, i’m scared. i don’t think i should do this..” taeyong whines, pouting heavily as he re-folds the corner of your wrapping paper for the fifth time. it keeps wrinkling, and he won’t settle for anything less than a crispy fold in your favorite color wrapping.
the other sighs, and it can’t be seen but he’s running his fingers through his hair in annoyance. “taeyong, you’re starting to aggravate all of us.” he’s referring to the rest of their friend group, who have all said the same thing. “you’ll never know how she feels if you don’t try.”
he curls into himself, squirming as anxiety courses through his veins. “but still.. if this goes bad i think i’ll die.”
“it won’t trust me. even if she says no, which i have a feeling she won’t, it’s not like she’s gonna cut you out. your friendship is too strong for that.”
even if doyoung is lying for the sake of comforting the other, it really does provide some reassurance. the worst that will happen is you saying no, so it’s worth a shot. even if the fear of rejection is strong, your relationship is strong enough to not break even with something like this happening. or, at least he hopes so.
bsf!taeyong who finally starts organizing your holiday date, the same one you have every year, however with more of a romantic intent behind it.
every year, you and taeyong go on a “friend date” for your day of celebration. rather than spending it with family or friends, you reserve it for each other.
last year, you went on a simple date to see your city’s holiday tree and shop around, and this year may be similar, but it’s a little more fancy.
you’ll be visiting the tree once again, however there’s something a little more special coming beforehand; dinner!
it was quite a struggle to find somewhere open on the day of, however it worked out and he spent quite a pretty penny on reserving the best place he could find.
since reserving a table at the nicest restaurant in the area, taeyong’s on around night three of feeding on whatever random snacks are laying around and cup ramen. he always spends his money on you, but the holiday season gets impossibly worse. of course, he’ll always make sure to have the funds and will never go without, but one day he might seriously go into debt if this keeps on.
sitting on his floor (it’s becoming a theme to sit right in front of the couch rather than on it), he stares at the wall while thinking of a plan on how to make his confession. ‘step one,’ he thinks, ‘take her to dinner. that won’t be anything new, so there’s no reason to freak out.. yet. step two.. visit the tree. should i give her a compliment while we’re there? ugh, no, too cheesy… just be regular. step three, hopefully it’s dark outside so we can take some pictures together. then, once they’re done, just say it. i’m madly in love with you and have been basically since we’ve met. no, scratch that! running away and crying is the only option !!!’
of course, these thoughts are very far fetched, but if the almost painful furrow of his brow isn’t evidence of his hard thinking, nothing else is. he’s even written a letter that’s safely tucked into one of your gift boxes in case he chickens out. he’s thought of every possible outcome, even the highly unrealistic one where you start sobbing while chicken dancing. he’s really so nervous, so much so that his heart pounds every time he thinks about it. every possible effort he can make to make sure everything will go right has been made. even if you reject his advances, only the best will be given to you.
bf!taeyong who gives you the best set of gifts you could ever ask for.
your day starts out with him coming over to your house, where he brings you breakfast and watches as you get ready.
next, he hands you your gifts, all wrapped in paper of your favorite color and characters.
when you try to open them in front of him, he immediately flushes, putting his hands out and begging you to wait until you part.
after that, he takes you out to dinner. it’s very cozy, jazz music filling the restaurant as you eat together. his hand brushes yours multiple times, but you pay it no mind.
finally, you visit the tree together and… see for yourself :)
⊹₊ ˚‧︵‿₊୨୧₊‿︵‧ ˚ ₊⊹
night has fallen, and you and taeyong stand in front of the large holiday tree, sparkling with lights and glittering ornaments. it’s always your favorite sight that comes with the holiday season, and it’s even better now that you’re sharing it with your best friend. he’s given you the best day you could ask for, and as you pose in front of the tree for him to take pictures for you, you’re wondering what could’ve warranted this treatment.
taeyong lowers the phone, taking a deep breath before stepping closer to you. your name leaves his lips with a heavy breath as if he’d been holding it. “can i tell you something?”
you smile, nodding your head as he takes your hands. “of course! what is it?”
your eyes are sparkling with all the festive lights around you, and he’s losing his breath. “there’s something that i’ve been thinking about for a while, and i think i’m ready to tell you… is that okay?”
you’re face immediately turns to a look of concern as you place a hand on his shoulder. “always, bubu. you don’t have to ask, is everything okay?”
he looks away, fidgeting with the seam of your gloved hand. “well, i, uh.. i really like you, a lot. romantically… and of course, if you’re uncomfortable with that we can pretend i didn’t say it, but i really needed to tell you.” he rambles.
immediately your smile grows bigger as you wrap yourself around taeyong in a hug. “oh, really? thank goodness, because me too! i like you so much too, bubu, and i was planning on telling you soon too.”
immediately he’s releasing his breath once again, reciprocating the hug so tightly that you’ll never be able to get out. “really? then, can i give you one last gift?” his eyes are so big, glossy and glimmering with so much hope and love that your heart flutters.
when you nod he pulls a card out of his pocket with a small box taped to the front. when you take it from him, you open the box to reveal a necklace with a dainty rose charm hanging from it. a soft gasp leaves your lips and you immediately take your gloves off to put it on. taeyong would’ve helped but his hands were so preoccupied with fidgeting out of anxiety that he didn’t even think of it. opening the card, it’s got a gift card to your favorite store and a message on the other side. it reads, ‘to my favorite person in the whole world, will you be my girlfriend?’
you pocket the gift and with a glowing smile you nod your head, wrapping your arms around his neck with a smile. “yes, yes of course taeyong! i’d love to be your girlfriend.” you back up, your face a short distance from his as you admire his smile that mirrors your own.
“oh thank goodness, i was afraid you’d say no..” his eyes flicker to your lips, “well.. i have one more present to give you, if that’s okay?”
your eyes trail down to his lips as well, and before you can even fully nod his lips are on yours. his kiss is gentle, lips soft yet cold as they connect with your own. it’s so sweet, the way he kisses you so softly yet long enough to know he’s not dreaming. under the festive lights and light snowfall, he shares his first kiss with you. it’s safe to say that it’s one for the books, and something you’ll never forget as you do this for years to come, your favorite holiday now becoming your anniversary with your best friend.
───── ⋆⋅ ⊹ ⁺ 𐔌 ᩧ ຼ ͡ ৯ ♡໒⁀ ᩧຼ ꒱ིྀ ⁺ ⊹ ⋅⋆ ─────
#mejaemin#nct#nct 127#nct x reader#nct 127 x reader#nct fluff#nct 127 fluff#f2l#friends to lovers#best friends to lovers#lee taeyong#lee taeyong x reader#taeyong#taeyong x reader#taeyong fluff#lee taeyong fluff#kim doyoung#— reqs ఇ ◝‿◜ ఇ
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“Mistakes on mistakes until” ch 69 spoilers below!
Ahahahahahahah here I go again
Mistakes on mistakes until until I can draw Jazz with my eyes closed
I woke up, checked my phone, woke up for real and decided that whatever plans I had for this day yeah no they can wait a little bit kfkgnfk
Also. Consider listening this while reading. Or don't who am I to tell you what to do~
#maccadam#transformers#Jazz#Meister#Starscream#L I S T E N#I THINK#The “Jazz” is a hologram and “Meister” is the Real Jazz#because yeah It totally makes sense. Soundwave touched Meister so Meister must be real. And Hound could just create the hologram of Jazz#but....b u t#I can't stop thinking that there's might be something more#like...Hound wasn't exactly wery well hidden. For the love of god STArScream saw him and talked about him#and we all know than Soundwave is a fucking all seeing eye of Sauron when it comes to watching suspicious activity#I...fuckin...listen ok#Meister's plan with second Jazz is so damn clever bc it would literally show to Soundwave how Jazz and Meister can stand in the same room#but I can't help but feel that Sounders is inevitably going to discover Hound and unlike Starscream he surely knows what Hounds “thing” is#or maybe I'm just paranoid. .#maybe Jazz..I mean Meister knows something I don't#i mean duh of course he does#augh I need to stop before by brain spins itself to shreds#This fic made me overthink every detail with double intensity haha#Also. ALSO. We might see the confrontation between Meister and Jazz I feel. we might. it makes me want to giggle for some reson kgkgkg#fic fanart#momu fanart
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also i think if roleswap laios and canon laios met theyd immediately start fighting.
#canon laios would blurt out 'why do you look like our dad' and fisticuffs ensue.#shuro........ is a little more complicated#if canon shuro doesnt think too hard about it and just treats the other him like a stranger then theres no problem#on the other hand i imagine he holds himself to high standards and if he sees his other self doing things he considers improper or uncouth.#i imagine hed only speak up if he saw it happen A Lot like hed pull him aside like hey... what the fuck#thered be a bit of 'holy shit i woulda turned out like THAT??' on both sides#roleswap shuro would often get frustrated but i think hed understand that like. thats how the culture is like he lived it too#but i think similarly hed watch laios steamroll og shuro and eventually be like. DUDE. just say something#shorter fuse lmao. anyways still turning this AU over in my head#how much more forward can shuro be before hes unbelievably out of character...#and what if they switched universes!!!!#if laios switched. it would be immediately obvious something is up in the og universe but it may be chalked up to like#a weird mood..... though maybe the party starts to wonder 'hey... is it not possible this is a shapeshifter' 😭#but og laios in the roleswap universe...#tbh havent thought too hard on what the party dynamics in that universe might be like assuming all else is the same save for the roleswap#i imagine chilchuck would still get on alright as long as hes being paid upfront and laios is still attentive/ recognises his abilities#and limitations also. marcille................................... hmm#she might treat him more formally and be less close.... may perceive him as more threatening at first meeting#(in terms of like. 'taking falin away' i mean if that makes sense)#but well. u kno how in canon laios Does notice a lot of things about his companions and has a very pragmatic view that surprises them#and they dont tend to notice until he says it aloud because its often overlooked cos of his. everything else.#well. id imagine roleswap laios still notices things but simply would not say it aloud.#the party would also be like .. dude... did he hit his head#if SHURO swapped...................... well it depends when exactly it happened#i imagine it could be a bigger issue with the retainers#im losing steam cos my lower back hurt so bad adgfsdfg i cant get a good position on this chair#but for shuro himself i imagine it would be nightmarish lmao.#roleswap (henceforth RS) shuro would wake up as an adult with the retainers like. ??? was that all a dream?? did i never make it out#meanwhile og shuro ending up god knows where..........#if he ended up with the retainers again he might not immediately realise somethings amiss and try to act normally
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hi hi !! loveee your blog so far, it’s v nice to see more hetalia writers popping up again. if you’re interested in tackling this request, i’d like to see your take on how a yandere romano would deal with feelings of jealousy in regards to his darling getting a little too close than what his insecure brain’s comfortable with to his brother veneziano? 🫶💕
tysm! these are still yandere hcs, but i actually ended up also doing a small character study. i’ve been wanting to do those more recently so if you’re interested send in a request! bonus points if it’s not a super popular character. + this came out a lot longer than intended, so enjoy.
This is something Lovino would not be able to handle.
He has spent centuries trying to navigate the minefield that is the relationship with his brother--with varying degrees of success. One thing that has remained constant, however, is the fact that people overwhelmingly prefer his younger brother.
Romano has seemingly tried everything. Careful imitation, acting the complete opposite, sabotaging from the shadows, acting as right-hand man, you name it. Nothing has seemed to stick.
Even now, he’s invisible. Reduced to the lesser half a whole. Forever shackled to his brother, effectively prevented from exercising his own agency.
It’s never fun to be stuck in someone's shadow, but for the person whose shadow you're stuck in to be so unflinchingly blasé about it? For one to be as stuck as long as Lovino has? Being forcefully denied your own personhood like that often breeds contempt. Hatred like that can simmer under the surface for decades, even centuries before bubbling over and being noticed by others. Holding hatred like that for so long as he has? It’s almost enough to drive someone mad.
But when he gets you and has something of his own for once he relaxes a bit. There’s no need to be on edge, to constantly put on airs, because he has someone in his corner. Someone who has taken the time to know him on a deep, personal level. Someone, who despite his faults, is willing to love him, and in turn trusts him enough to love them back. That alone is enough to satiate him, to quiet his restless mind, and dull the sharp blade of self-hatred that’s been lingering within him for so long.
So when he discovers you calmly conversing with the man who has unknowingly tormented him for so long, he almost does not know what to do with himself.
It’s almost as if he’s on autopilot, mindlessly drifting over to where the two of you stand, immediately trying to assess the situation.
In your eyes, the conversation with Veneziano was just much overdue. It was impolite to not introduce yourself to someone so close to your partner. Lovino would never say so, but sometimes the refusal to introduce you to his loved ones felt intentional. Whenever you would press the issue, he would hastily arrange a meeting to calm you down. It worked a few times; you got to meet a few of his friends, and even his pseudo-guardian/older brother/ mentor (you never were quite sure of the nature of their relationship), but you never got the chance to meet Veneziano. Occasions where you two were set to meet would mysteriously get canceled due to unforeseen circumstances. You also noticed that he would always get strangely cagey at the mention of his younger brother.
At first, he would try to covertly sow discord between the two of you, in hopes that you would have a falling-out. In his mind, if he could manufacture situations to make you see his brother’s shortcomings, you wouldn’t want to be around him.
When he discovers, to his horror, that you have grown closer to his brother despite the careful machinations, he would spiral.
To you and Veneziano, your friendship is as right as rain, completely unforced, and a natural progression. After knowing each other peripherally for so long, making friends with you just makes sense.
But to Romano, this is yet another event point, in a seemingly infinite pattern of behavior. Time and time again, Romano finds something of his own, takes a liking to it, starts to cherish it, but only until Veneziano comes along and tries to take it. He always manages, because he is always successful in everything that he does. Afterwards, Romano is then left with nothing but more hatred to swallow and another large bruise on his ego. He can’t let it happen again, not this time, not after cultivating a relationship so pure, not like this, not-
He devises to stop it. Whatever it is between the two of you. Immediately.
Lovino, who has always been romantic, will up the ante. You suddenly find yourself whisked away on trips abroad more often than you are sat at home. How could you find the time to catch up with his brother when you have a date that night, another trip to pack for? To you, it seems as though you have entered a second honeymoon phase in your relationship. Unbeknownst to you, he’s tirelessly working to separate you. He shall get Veneziano away before he tries to take what is rightfully his for the umpteenth time.
Before your increased contact with Veneziano, your relationship was, by all accounts, normal.
You met Lovino by happenstance, and your romance blossomed at a pace that felt comfortable and right. He was nothing but loving and attentive, if a bit temperamental at times. But after you meet his brother, you notice a palpable shift in his attitude. He snaps at people more and always seems to be in deep thought. But he’s kinder in some ways as well. He’s now always concerned about your safety and likes to know where you’re going beforehand, not after the fact like you used to do. He figured out that you love the gifts he gets you, so you now receive way more of them. He’s more appreciative of everything you do as well. So much so that one day, after a particularly elaborate meal, he suggests you quit your job to take care of the home. To his delight, you eventually agree, but any joy is quickly stamped out when he hears you happily explaining your new living arrangement to his brother.
He can’t stand it really, as his mind sails through countless scenarios, unearthing trauma he thought had been resolved (or safely buried) since the early Renaissance. He doesn't know why his mind takes him in this direction, but then again he doesn't know a lot of things. He doesn't know why efforts to separate the two of you don't work, or why nothing he does ever seems to work. Why is it that he is never enough? Why, after so many attempts and failures, did Grandfather never really seem to grow fond of him?
After yet another night of being forced to confront these long-dormant worries, he decides enough is enough. If you cannot take the hints he has so kindly given you, then he will separate the two of you by force.
Long gone are your days of exploring the city alone. No more impromptu cafe trips, walks around the park, or unsupervised trips to the post office. You are expected to stay at home, and at home you stay.
“Amore mio, it’s too dangerous out there,” he says. “There’s nothing nearby worth seeing, and you know how I feel about you driving.”
And you believe him because why wouldn’t you? He cares for you more than anyone! More than your coworkers, your friends who stopped visiting, or even your family who mysteriously don’t care enough to call anymore…
And just like that, you have been delegated to remain in the domicile. Showering him and only him with your seemingly infinite divine grace for as long as time permits it.
It’s so simple that he regrets not doing it sooner.
As for his ingrate brother, he will do anything to ensure he does not go sniffing anywhere he need not be.
It takes nothing to ruin Veneziano’s reputation. To oust him as an incompetent womanizer. Someone whose words of concern should never be taken seriously.
To Lovino, it is well worth it. He’ll put an end to the madness, he must. Even if it means making you unhappy, or betraying his own blood, or dirtying his hands with sin, or being at the receiving end of your icy gaze for the rest of eternity.
But you aren’t unhappy, are you now? You’re over the moon, and why wouldn’t you be? You are given everything you need and more. Besides, Lovino doesn't like it when you frown.
“Look happy now. You have no reason not to,” he always says.
#hetalia x reader#yandere hetalia#hetalia headcanons#hws romano#hws italy#if you caught any of the references to dante's inferno i love you#but if you caught any of the references to purgatorio...ik what you are...#i’ll be so honest with you#romano is soooooo interesting to me#like he has lived a life marred by such deep trauma#which is to be expected bc of what he is (an eldritch abomination)#but on top of that he grew up fundementally unloved#or at least not as coddled or well-regarded as his peers#and that's done such a number on his psyche you can even see it in canon#he is so full of spite#you can't tell me that he doesn't actively root against feli#i want to watch him snap and really beat his brothers ass i'll be so honest with u#also yeah one might argue referencing an italian poet in a post abt the italy brothers is corny but idc SUE ME#if you like posts like this pls let me know!#requests are open don’t be afraid to send smth in
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you ever just think about. “You are diseased, albeit a disease of our own making. No more.” you ever just. oh, they made him and they discarded him. it’s never going to be quiet again for him, and that’s just collateral. they let the sound rot through his whole life, his whole timeline. because that’s the kind of easy sacrifice you can make when you want to save yourself above everything else, one that doesn’t ask anything of you. you dig open a child’s mind and you bury your survival inside him and when he follows the noise back home, when he does exactly what you groomed him for, you call him ruined for it. that’s. you ever just think about that.
#it’s genuinely such a horrifying sixkening thing that they unveil. what was done to the master.#and it’s like. it’s so important that he is awful. he really is. but he still does not deserve to have had this done to him.#the drums are a tragedy that cannot. would not. be a punishment earned no matter how terrible he is.#they’re such a violation of his mind. isolating and constant and violent. and it drives me insane that this is just. in the show. okay cool#ill never be normal again.#they literally pulled his head open. during a ceremony that we. as far as i know. have to assume is not exactly voluntary. and is at the#best of times. already traumatic and horrifying. but they went into that moment and they put the drums in his head and they made him into#something repulsive to them. because they did that to him! in this thing alone the master had no agency and no way out and this thing that#was done *to* him is what makes him. to them. a broken thing now past its usefulness now that he’s done what they wanted him to.#sorry im rotating him in my head again and again. this is the thing that makes him ‘diseased’. it’s that they chose to do this to him. there#is nothing he could do to not be this. he was a child and there was nothing he could do to stop it from happening. he’s an adult and he’s#doing the impossible exactly like they shaped him to do and he can’t stop this from having happened to him. so he might as well follow the#drums. and then. and then rassilon calls him diseased. and im going to. lose it.#there was nothing he could have done…………..#everywhere else he has choices to make and he can burn the world and keep it as a toy and he can fuck with the doctor and he can do.#anything. anything he wants. but he can’t. there’s nothing he can do to make it stop. there’s nothing he can do to make it so this never#happened to him. and i am spinning in circles here do u see why he makes me insane.#and the doctor doesn’t even really fucking believe him that the drums are real until the master makes him listen……. oh im going to be ill.#doctor who#simm!master#the master
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any time i remember time lord victorious arc i start shaking like a sick fucking dog
#having an extraordinarily hard time watching waters of mars rn literally episode of all fucking time#they dont make them like this anyMOOOOOOOOOORE OHHMY GODDDD#icould talk abt it for hours istg it's so. grips you shakes you shakes you shakes you shakes you sh#the WAYYDYDYDHDHDJDJDJDUJDJDHDJDUDJD THHHEEEE THE THE THE . HTHHEHEH#the way u can see glimpses of what's to come in all 4 seasons but especially in voyage of the#damned and then s4 onwards but u dont realise JUST how much he went insane until now#like there's echoes of this in votd but you might not even pick up on it if you dont Know#n here he's just fully gone it's sooo. IT'S SOOOOOOOOOOO. CHARACTER OF ALL TIME#man so profoundly tragic his entire story is abt speedrunning losing everything and#going insane and dying. and yet he still spends like 20 entire minutes crying and begging not to die. okay#i cant rank drs they're my best friends so idk who my fave dr is but 10's is easily my favourite story it's so. it's SOOO.#anyway sorry. stops shaking you and pats your arms down awkwardly. carry on#doctor who#dw lb#10th doctor#the waters of mars#time lord victorious#i was today years old when i learned there's apparently a whole audio series about it that#came out in the past few years. well i aint listenin to that. everything i need is on my screen already#also. the way most ppl havent even seen these specials coz they're impossible to find online..#even tho waters of mars is like. not just extremely important but also yknow. extremely good
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Getting into stuff that has a lot of pre-announced release dates is really good for me like vocal synthesizer products and new love live etc franchise music releases....I'll be lying in bed at like 2 AM with ur usual 20-something's fear and existentialism over time and the future and then I'll remember a piece of singing software or a new song related to cartoon characters I like is gonna come out like next month and I'm like 😌
#this keeps happening to me with the upcoming december#miki and kiyoteru sv.....im so excited...if they get delayed ill scream#jk jk ill be fine but i do hope we get some demos in November soon!#soyogi still doesnt have a concrete release date but hes also probably december#now if HE gets delayed i will actually explode. i will spontaneously burst into flames#the other night i had a dream about aivoice2 ryuusei coming out. which is a normal thing to happen#it literally was just like i went online and saw videos people made with him SHDBFBSJFNFN#premonition dream...this is what will happen in november#but it reminded me i wasnt as familiar with how aiv2 sounds with a2sync. i like the aiv1 kotonosync situation#BUT it is very noisy and the vocals usually sound like lalavoice with the slightly obvious looping#which is charming but not as versatile in the grand scheme of talk synths made to sing#just the nature of it. but a2sync sounds FANTASTIC i was really shocked. im curious how his#particularly deep voice will sound compared to a more medium gentle tone like iori but im excited#im really curious how he'll sound compared to vv humming ryuusei#now what weve seen of his design.....im not suuuper into quite yet. its not BAD and well see when its fully out#but i dont care for the blue hair bits. im picky about hair dye in alternate designs#i like his gray black default situation too much. also i DO like how slutty his design is looking#but also it might look um. a little too much for a talk synth? like brother whats going on here#why are u so dressed up to chat ....i guess for fun#then again his aiv1 design was also probably more appropriate for singing synths rather than talking But I like that one more LOL#doesnt matter too much for me though im more interested in the unofficial singing side stuff AHDBFHSHFBDJJD#which also reminds me i hope someday aiv1 vy series can get a aiv2 update#a full singing synth would be nicer but i wouldnt mind a talk turned singing synth. i know everyone hates the aiv vy designs#i dont hate them theyre not great but theyre fine for talk synths. i think nancy is hilarious. white woman jumpscare#im not a huge fan of the main fanon vy designs (theyre good but they dont fit to me) so i dont mind the aiv ones#even if its just two random people SHBFJFAJFJFJSJJF but yeah i hope they get a aiv2 someday#i think it would be fun to make em sing with a2sync hee hee#also on the ll end i am so excited for dia birthday album end of dec#AND all the new liella tunes. i still havent watched the new season because i havent been able to sit down and enjoy it yet#but soon....next week ill have time...sooooooon
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when i say get me OUT OF HERE. yeah ok so i redownloaded the devils app (tinder) and after swiping through all the like spam and couples and random men that popped up and stuff i got to someone and i was like Oh theyre hot they seem cool geeked abt seeing if we match. HALT! is that my friend sams roommate. fuck. right. and is that another gay girl that maybe tried to slide in my dms once but i was so far up film girl's ass at the time i didnt think about it. in their one photo. right. and what's their name? we dont need to talk about it. im sick
#i might just see if we match...#no. is that weird? what are the lines of weird. oh who cares#my fucking dating pool feels like the worlds tiniest puddle. so. i dunno.#abby talks#its actually silly though. hey ive been in your house. lmfao <3#i might also be giving myself too much credit re the other girl. i am not good at reading things i dont know#well and as u can see im not normal about things#me journaling yesterday basically im a creep im a weirdo i dont fit in i dont want to fit in what the hell am i doing here i dont belong he
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is it autism or is it a symptom of previous longterm social isolation and lack of agency ?
#i think. im not good at being a person.#ive finally gotten some alone time and i am reflecting. and well.#i dont think you can make me socially aware ^-^ i dont think i'll ever get good at it.#i donknow why ^-^👍 and i dont think it matters 👍#i think hes getting tired of me alreadyyyy......#and i think. lots of other ppl . dont see me wout him already also.#ive managed this already... impressive ^-^#but the japanese international girls like me so !!! it doesnt matter !!! i have. two nice friends. and 1 intimidating friend.#i will not get bullied or made fun of or be in ungetoutable bad situations bc of. mafia friend.#and then i will recharge and be silly around. nice friends.#i think the fact that im actively thinking about this. doesnt do anything for my case.#i think. im getting masking lessons. when i hang out w him. if it really is the autism. and im failing a little bit.#he thinks ive got anxiety. 💭💭 psych major ass. sorry. my roommates also psych major. why are they. talkers.#theyre scawy.#they both got adhd too. whats with that#anyway.#i want to get a haircut.#and hes like. well. hes literally 4 real a model. and his mom was a model. and all his friends were. guess what. models.#so. scary. so i will go to a shitty salon w a nice normal level of social skill friend and then not say anything i think.#i love yapping on here this is awesome. i can just say anytging.#non u know me in real life#how did i end up making friends w the most 'popular guy' guy in the world this is so stressful.#everyone likes him. there are ppl who only talk to me to get an idea of where he might be at. what happened.#howd i go from friendless loser to. loser but in a completely different friend environment. friends w guy who is too good at making friends#but chooses to hang out w me ? does he choose to do that. is it all coincidence?#how did i get here. it really doesnt feel real#i want. to . explode.#yknow i never even really talked to boys before this also. wtf. wtf..#i have only been saying nice things so far i think but i think its important to know that he. scares me. hes so from bc.#i have always been scared of island ppl theyre. all so mad always. and guess what he is too. and yet here i am.
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chuuya can secretly play the guitar send
#it fits him so so well#like ooh#an electric guitar#arctic monkeys esque songs u know#he bought one just bc it looked cool#an all black one#and then he was like u know what.. might as well see if i can play it#then he decided it was actually fun#but hes embarrassed >:( he won't tell anyone about it#and you walk in on him playing it one time when he's not expecting you#guitarist chuuya ... drools.#thoughts ꨄ
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hate how im now at a point where im legit like kicking my legs and grinning like an idiot over fictional characters SEND HELP
#take One Guess who im talking about. YES ITS KOI BOI#hes so prettyyyyy and cute and lovely and i love looking at him i wanna hear him speak and laugh and sing just AAAAAAAAAAAA#(turns to my own brain) BITCH WE ARE MEANT TO BE AROACE WHY ARE YOU IN LOVE WITH TWO FICTIONAL CRIMINALS WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?????#my brain: (that fuckin anime girl gif from evangelion (i think??))#like fuuuuuck man is it self shipping if u use a proxy? like. hes an oc but he's a stand in for me. he is me and i am him but we also arent#he is his own person and i am my own our lives are very very different but i use him to express love for Mad Dog and Koi Boy#cause they could actually love him if i were in their world i wouldnt stand a chance but my boy has one so he loves them for me#its far easier to imagine him kissing them than it is for me to imagine myself kissing them but that might be because im wired weird#idk it *feels* like it counts yknow. my dumbass out here gettin jealous when i see a Certain Ship cause like i disagree with it on#a Fundamental Level. and on TOP of that half the time the art is so CUTE and im like 'motherfucker that should be ME' or i guess my lad but#STILL am i making sense?? doesnt help that i worry im like. misreading what content i have but also fuck you i can do what i want and also#i get him more than yall kgyugkhjhk (jk jk. Unless) basically when i call them my boyfriends i fuckin mean it#look its Real Missing Nishiki Hours i love him i wanna kiss his perfect face someone shoulda shown him love i could save him and he could#make me worse <3 I Want Him#and do not get me wrong i may be focused on him but Majima is still my wifey too!!! hes mine you cant have her <3#i just have koi boy brainrot i very much desire them Both (YES THAT MIGHT BE WHY I SHIP THEM TOO LOOK I ALSO THINK THEYD WORK WELL TOGETHER#OR AT LEAST HAVE A FUN DYNAMIC TO EXPLORE I SHOULD DATE THEM AND THEY SHOULD DATE EACH OTHER WE ALL HAVE 2 HANDS)#might delete this in the mornin who knows but im feelin silly i wanna talk about them i wanna talk about my boy but idk if ppl would really#GET IT yknow i can think of maybe Two People and that INCLUDES bestie but just aaaa point is i love my koi boy so much hes so lovely <3 <3
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