#and then didn't thank me
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
lead balloon (the tumblr post that saved me)
if this comic resonated with you, it would mean the world to me if you donated to this palestinian family's escape fund.
--
no creative notes because this isn't that kind of comic.
I know I don’t owe any of you anything but I still felt compelled to write about my long term absence. And I feel far enough away from the dangerous spot I was in to be able to make this comic. I have a therapist now, and she agreed that making this could be a very cathartic gesture, and the start of properly leaving these thoughts behind me. I am still, at seemingly random times, blindsided by fleeting desires to kill myself. They’re always passing urges, but it’s disarming, and uncomfortable. I worry sometimes that my brain’s spent so long thinking only about suicide that it’s forgotten how to think about anything else. Like, now that I've opened that door for myself, I'll never be able to fully shut it again. But I’m trying my best to encourage my mind in other directions. We'll see how that goes.
I am still donating all proceeds from my store to Palestinian causes. So far, I've donated over $15K, not including donations coming from my own pocket or the fundraising streams which jointly raised around $10K. In the time since I made my initial post about where this money would be going, the focus has shifted from aid organisations to directly donating to escape funds.
If you'd like to do the same, you can look at Operation Olive Branch, which hosts hundreds of Palestinian escape funds or donate to Safebow, which has helped facilitate the safe crossing and securing of important medical procedures for over 150 at-risk palestinians since the beginning of the genocide.
#cw: suicidal ideation#cw: suicide#cw: self harm#cw: mental health#cw: depression#i made the balloon the main representation of my self destructive urges for a reason but im not going to explain it#i tried to keep a lot of the details in this vague#it would be my worst nightmare if this comic encouraged someone to hurt themselves#so. please dont#for a long time even the thought of making this comic felt so insipid and narcissistic#with the state of the world as it is#having the only threat to your life be yourself felt so privileged and trite and shameful#but doing this comic made me sit down and process things in full#and im just. very grateful i didn't give in to my thoughts back when i sincerely felt i'd be more useful to the world dead#i also feel the need to say that this wont represent everyone's battle with mental illness. its unfortunately different for all of us#there is no fix-all#and im afraid this might be one of those comics that either resonates a lot or misses the target by a mile#i made it for myself foremost. and now that its done im glad i did it#thank you for reading#and please stay alive#stillindigo art#stillindigo comics
25K notes
·
View notes
Text
look if i am the one with no job and depression WHY is my sister always at home like
#ignore this#she literally has an almost boyfriend even like#please do not be home and glare at me all the time you have things to do#i love her i do but it has been just us at home for like a month#(as in my mom has been out of town)#and im so fed up she literally acts like im the bane of her existence for literally hiding in my room from her at all times#and then when i give her any kind of attitude she acts like im a bitch when she literally is so rude to me#i drove her around for a day one time when she was drunk and she was like#'you made me carsick' and 'can i please listen to anything but whatever this is' bc i was listening to a podcast#and then didn't thank me#nor did she thank me when i rescued her from a bird that she was scared of#and shes complaining to my mom that im being messy when im??? literally not???#and the worst part is that my mom is going to take her side even though i am doing NOTHING#bc my sister brought me food like twice??#im just fucking annoyedddd i cannot relax or do literally anthing when she is there#im being sarcastic too i know she has a full right to be home whenever she wants#but like.. she is purposefully taking less shifts and its very hard to deal with her being home all the time#when i have almost no other option#UGH
0 notes
Text
Hot take and not to be a killjoy or the shipping police but people treating Viktor or Jinx's aroace headcanons as if they were canon is not the revolutionary take people think it is.
Headcanons are always all right but we have to acknowledge that they are somehow damaging when they apply to stereotypes. It might not be the case for everyone but most of the time people unconsciously assume that disability/mental illness=asexuality. These headcanons erase the freedom of attraction from people who are already seen as unable to have sexual/romantic experiences/desires, when it's completely untrue and harmful.
You can headcanon Viktor and Jinx as aroace, but I have seen people changing their minds once Viktor is no longer disabled (s2 with all of his other forms) and Jinx is no longer as mentally ill (alternate universe Powder). And it speaks wonders of how people see these characters.
"I never thought about Jinx being able to feel romantic/sexual attraction until s2!" To believe she's actually only capable of that when she's not "damaged" is incredibly disturbing. Especially since Jinx has always had a bit of a flirty personality too.
"I've always seen Viktor as asexual, I don't know why!" That's fine. You can headcanon him as ace. But I believe there is a reason behind it, most of the time, if for some inexplicable reason the "vibes" of the disabled character are making you think he's ace.
I say all of this being aroaspec myself, by the way. Headcanon all you want but going to people's posts commenting how "it's weird for you that they have romantic/sexual plots when they're clearly aroace" is not a win at all. It's a headcanon, after all, and it should be treated as such, and that's fine. But it also is damaging to spread stereotypes like these.
Of course the disabled character is asexual. Of course the mentally ill character is aromantic. It's not as revolutionary as you might think, tbh.
Fandom is not activism and it's all right to have any headcanons you want BUT some of them are filled with damaging stuff and perhaps we should look into ourselves more before treating these assumptions as something canon.
#i hope i didn't sound rude btw i am saying this respectfully and this is directed to the ones who push these hcs as canon#if you have your own theories and know abt aroace stereotypes but are respectful abt it this is not for you keep scrolling#i actually think showing jinx (who has been dehumanized by the fandom A LOT) in a romantic relationship is good for her character#and viktor letting himself be free and loving what he considered imperfections thanks to jayce at the end c'monnn they need to make love#tired of disabled characters being treated as babies and always hc them as aroace let them fuck#this being said i am aware there are more terms inside aroace etc etc etc and there are more ways of considering them aroace etc etc etc#this is NOT about that it's about being aware of how 'mmm it's the vibes!' argument does NOT work when it's stereotypes#it's like saying 'wow this robotic character is giving me autistic vibes idk why' LIKE CMON NOW WEFNEWLFNL YOU KNOW WHY#please don't cancel me i am giving my humble opinion as someone aroaspec#at the end of the day you can do whatever the fuck you want tbh#i'm not the shipping police here#arcane#viktor arcane#jinx arcane#jayvik#timebomb
3K notes
·
View notes
Text
mary jane's husband and his boyfriend
#if i have the energy part 2 of this would be MJ having to comfort PB through his existential crush#spider man: across the spider verse#miguel o'hara#peter b parker#hello tumblr people#i'll start slowly posting stuff here too#mostly for archiving#so sorry if i'm not too responsive!#the @ in the comics are tecotit bc that's my twt side account and i didn't think i'd post it here woops#also twt locked me out of my tecochet acc for some reason#thanks elon........#teco draws
34K notes
·
View notes
Text
should've just let Vil be the one to fly, it would've gone SO much easier. 😔
also HEY how are everyone else's pulls going, because I have had the most RIDICULOUS luck, seriously, halloween magic is 100% real
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#lost in the book with nightmare before christmas#hajimari no halloween#kicking around some ideas for scully's UM poster so i'll talk about all that when we get to it#in the meantime i just have to show this off because...seriously look at it#is the halloween pickup count cumulative?! because i only did two ten-pulls for jamil...#i've only done three ten-pulls total in this event and yet somehow ended up with leona and two consecutive jamils#now it would be extremely funny if i didn't get sebek when he's the one i want the most...but let me hope#(i choose to believe this is an apology from the universe for my lack of both fairy gala ortho and masquerade malleus)#(thank you universe)#anyway i realize there is some irony in bragging about my jamil pulls and yet drawing vil instead#but...i just really wanted to draw nightmare vil okay#i thought i had posted art of good ol' pumpkin-stroker jamil already but i think i might actually have just dreamt that#brb gotta get onto fixing this problem
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
at some point it's just like. do they even fucking like the thing they're asking AI to make? "oh we'll just use AI for all the scripts" "we'll just use AI for art" "no worries AI can write this book" "oh, AI could easily design this"
like... it's so clear they've never stood in the middle of an art museum and felt like crying, looking at a piece that somehow cuts into your marrow even though the artist and you are separated by space and time. they've never looked at a poem - once, twice, three times - just because the words feel like a fired gun, something too-close, clanging behind your eyes. they've never gotten to the end of the movie and had to arrive, blinking, back into their body, laughing a little because they were holding their breath without realizing.
"oh AI can mimic style" "AI can mimic emotion" "AI can mimic you and your job is almost gone, kid."
... how do i explain to you - you can make AI that does a perfect job of imitating me. you could disseminate it through the entire world and make so much money, using my works and my ideas and my everything.
and i'd still keep writing.
i don't know there's a word for it. in high school, we become aware that the way we feel about our artform is a cliche - it's like breathing. over and over, artists all feel the same thing. "i write because i need to" and "my music is how i speak" and "i make art because it's either that or i stop existing." it is such a common experience, the violence and immediacy we mean behind it is like breathing to me - comes out like a useless understatement. it's a cliche because we all feel it, not because the experience isn't actually persistent. so many of us have this ... fluttering urgency behind our ribs.
i'm not doing it for the money. for a star on the ground in some city i've never visited. i am doing it because when i was seven i started taking notebooks with me on walks. i am doing it because in second grade i wrote a poem and stood up in front of my whole class to read it out while i shook with nerves. i am doing it because i spent high school scribbling all my feelings down. i am doing it for the 16 year old me and the 18 year old me and the today-me, how we can never put the pen down. you can take me down to a subatomic layer, eviscerate me - and never find the source of it; it is of me. when i was 19 i named this blog inkskinned because i was dramatic and lonely and it felt like the only thing that was actually permanently-true about me was that this is what is inside of me, that the words come up over everything, coat everything, bloom their little twilight arias into every nook and corner and alley
"we're gonna replace you". that is okay. you think that i am writing to fill a space. that someone said JOB OPENING: Writer Needed, and i wrote to answer. you think one raindrop replaces another, and i think they're both just falling. you think art has a place, that is simply arrives on walls when it is needed, that is only ever on demand, perfect, easily requested. you see "audience spending" and "marketability" and "multi-line merch opportunity"
and i see a kid drowning. i am writing to make her a boat. i am writing because what used to be a river raft has long become a fully-rigged ship. i am writing because you can fucking rip this out of my cold dead clammy hands and i will still come back as a ghost and i will still be penning poems about it.
it isn't even love. the word we use the most i think is "passion". devotion, obsession, necessity. my favorite little fact about the magic of artists - "abracadabra" means i create as i speak. we make because it sluices out of us. because we look down and our hands are somehow already busy. because it was the first thing we knew and it is our backbone and heartbreak and everything. because we have given up well-paying jobs and a "real life" and the approval of our parents. we create because - the cliche again. it's like breathing. we create because we must.
you create because you're greedy.
#every time someones like ''AI will replace u" im like. u will have to fucking KILL ME#there is no replacement here bc i am not filling a position. i am just writing#and the writing is what i need to be doing#writeblr#this probably doesn't make sense bc its sooo frustrating i rarely speak it the way i want to#edited for the typo wrote it and then was late to a meeting lol#i love u people who mention my typos genuinely bc i don't always catch them!!!! :) it is doing me a genuine favor!!!#my friend says i should tell you ''thank you beta editors'' but i don't know what that means#i made her promise it isn't a wolf fanfiction thing. so if it IS a wolf thing she is DEAD to me (just kidding i love her)#hey PS PS PS ??? if ur reading this thinking what it's saying is ''i am financially capable of losing this'' ur reading it wrong#i write for free. i always have. i have worked 5-7 jobs at once to make ends meet.#i did not grow up with access or money. i did not grow up with connections or like some kind of excuse#i grew up and worked my fucking ASS OFF. and i STILL!!! wrote!!! on the side!!! because i didn't know how not to!!!#i do not write for money!!!! i write because i fuckken NEED TO#i could be in the fucking desert i could be in the fuckken tundra i could be in total darkness#and i would still be writing pretentious angsty poetry about it#im not in any way saying it's a good thing. i'm not in any way implying that they're NOT tryna kill us#i'm saying. you could take away our jobs and we could go hungry and we could suffer#and from that suffering (if i know us) we'd still fuckin make art.#i would LOVE to be able to make money doing this! i never have been able to. but i don't NEED to. i will find a way to make my life work#even if it means being miserable#but i will not give up this thing. for the whole world.
18K notes
·
View notes
Text
modern day moby dick but my white whale is a middle grade fantasy novel i read when i was like eleven and haven't been able to find again
#i have been searching for YEARS#i've put out the call on tumblr and goodreads and various forums#people have helped me find other books but this one eludes me#all the sites are like maybe it's time to give up#NO#IT'S OUT THERE AND I DIDN'T IMAGINE IT#THANK YOU VERY MUCH
9K notes
·
View notes
Text
#stray kids#bystay#createskz#hwang hyunjin#hyunjin#👋#*gif#*mary#mary take responsibility for your actions.#(mary didn't tag this with their name and didn't tell me they made this set so i just got jumpscared when i went on our blog. thanks mary)#*hits
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
I know those eyes.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#wen qing#wen ning#Sibling similarity but you only see it when you realize they have the same soggy eyes.#These two always struck me as a bit of a play on Jiang Cheng and Jiang Yanli for 'siblings who contrast each other.#But after spending a lot more time marinating on Wen Ning I actually think they are way more similar that is initially apparent.#Sure their surface level personality traits are pretty contrastive. But they both are so willing to risk their lives for what's right#Who raised them? In a story so full of examples of how parents shape their children - why are these two lacking in parents?#I imagine that Wen Qing is the older sibling and so her morals of 'help those who need it no matter who they are' got passed a long.#But how did *she* arrive there? Was that instilled within her or was it a reaction against bearing witness to callousness and cruelty?#We'll never know..the only thing I can say for certain is Wen Qing is *so* soggy in the audio drama.#She's like the ant with the bindle. It's a hell of a way to bring a previously sharp tongued character back into the narritive.#Side note: Thank you all for being so patient and kind while I took my break!#It's been a very chaotic few weeks and I didn't realize how bad my burnout was getting. I'm back and ready to keep drawing again!
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
Hatchetfield Doodles!
#these were so fun!#And I got to draw some characters that I’ve never drawn before or that I’ve not drawn enough#thanks to lovely people in BRP who gave me the requests#I also got to try out a new rendering style that’s a lot of fun#hatchetfield#Starkid#team starkid#nerdy prudes must die#Npmd#black friday#the guy who didn't like musicals#tgwdlm#charles coven#james tolbert#stephanie lauter#steph lauter#mariah rose faith#mariah rose faith casillas#detective shapiro#bryce charles#tgwdlm doug#charlotte sweetly#bill woodward#corey dorris#curt mega#cineplex teen#Hannah foster#becky barnes#Kim Whalen#my art
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
Summer Times
Hi! I'm finally back from my two week abroad trip!
#i hope everyone is doing well!#ive gotten quite a bit of asks these past two weeks and i apologise for being so silent with art#i didnt bring my laptop with me and didn't have the proper environment to set it up even if i did so i couldn't really draw#i want to properly answer questions and make lore posts with more than just text so i hope you can forgive me#everything is going to be answered in due time#all my art projects are also getting completed and i really hope you'll like them because i think they're pretty cool!#for one instance im learning krita to make a bad end au themed animatic#if im successful i might even get to make an actual short episode one day which would be cool i think#once again thank you for the support despite my abscence#super mario#super mario bros#smb#luigi#mario#princess peach#mareach
3K notes
·
View notes
Text
playing around w slightly different hair renders
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#jjk art#yuji itadori#megumi fushiguro#itafushi#fushiita#yuuji#megumi#cries megumi fought tooth n nail..... i refused 2 flip the canvas tho >:(#i vastly prefer drawing him facing right bc fr some reason it makes his hair look better silhouette-wise#so having him face left is alr a Challenge#but also having him slightly look down (difficult angle + changes the silhouette) had me bashing my head in2 th TABLE#same thing happened earlier this month w gardening megu middle pose . i did not learn my lesson#but even worse w this one yuuji's head is blocking th main pointy part tht basically carries the entirety of the shape language#u can imagine my distress i am sure#anyway th render made me a lot happier with it thank god. colours hard carry bless <3333#i didn't plan on making it a full sheet but i needed 2 remind myself that im good at drawing megumi#so i threw in solos of each of them n tried slightly different render flavours#idk how Different all of them look visually but th process fr each ws Very different so i am satisfied#fight aside this ws useful i think! got 2 break out some Clunkier chalks n dust off a few of my smoother blended brushes#think i picked up some things i can keep also !! which ws. u kno. the Goal#tbh every time i do art studies i feel like i am kirby#one time i got called an art ditto by one of my fav artist mutuals when i did a style challenge#SUCH high praise from her it lives in my mind i take it out on days when i feel like trash#it doesnt Sound good when u say u r good at copying but real talk it is such a good skill i am very happy 2 have it in my arsenal
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
Welcome to the reverse verse! This is part 1 of 2 of a commission for @i-am-as-normal-as-you-are and I can't wait to tell you all about it, because I'm incapable of being normal and chill about these concepts, so I ran with it.
Charles Rowland was born in 1900, his mum was from India and moved to the UK after marrying Charles' dad, a soldier who was not... very loving. Charles' heritage gave him some problems, but none as bad as that one time in 1916 when he was sacrificed to a demon and spent the next 7 decades in Hell. He doesn't like to talk about it, except when it can get him what he wants. He was always an angry boy, or so he thought, but after his time spent in Hell, it became so much worse. He's explosive and unpredictable, and so he mostly avoids conflict. He doesn't need to fight anyone, as his charming personality and sweet smile (plus a few smart calculations) always seem to be enough to convince people to give him what he asks for. And when the fight is inevitable... well, he has Edwin for that!
Edwin Payne grew up very sheltered, in a deeply religious home, and he is proud of that. Don't try to argue with him, because he surely has a Bible verse that will help him win (and if not, he is not above using his croquet mallet now that he has someone to keep safe). Unfortunately for him, he realized at a quite young age that he felt attraction towards other boys. Even worse, somehow other people could tell as well, including those peers that ended up killing him for it (the rumour spread throughout school was that he had died due to AIDS, and most people just accepted it). He never acted on those unnatural urges of his, but when he met this ghost who had just escaped Hell... he decided not to risk eternal damnation, and to stay here with Charles, instead. Edwin has no interest in the supernatural or in magic, and sort of looks down on them, but luckily his friend's got that covered.
#dead boy detectives#dbda#payneland#edwin x charles#reverse verse#honestly the fact that i was given so much freedom to plan this universe is insane to me i am so thankful#i feel like this version of them is a bit darker#that wasn't intentional but oh well#guess that comes with having a charles who is kind of manipulative#and an edwin who is the annoying kind of catholic#(i am allowed to say that i come from a catholic family... not very catholic mind you my mom didn't actually care)#cw homophobia#can't forget that one#i'll post the next part probably tomorrow or the day after!#that's the crossover so wait for it#just to make it clear yes this edwin is in love with his charles but in denial#and this charles adores his edwin and doesn't think much about it#universal constant etc etc
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
Long-Haired Obito Art Request for @lucynda ! Your ask was a bit too long for me to post so i'm answering it in this way ;D This version of Obito is like...one of the most vicious and brutal renditions of him ._.
#uchiha obito#obito uchiha#obito#uchiha#zetsu#guruguru#akatsuki#naruto#naruto shippuden#my art#fan art#long hair#tobi#i'm referring to the way Obito murked the Uchiha Clan along with Itachi that police station scene stays in my head rent-free#and how he ended Kid Itachi's teammate right in front of Itachi's eyes as described in the Novel..#like the anime didn't show the full intensity of that scene as described within the Itachi Novel Obito was literally oozing with blood lust#It definitely seems like this is one of Obito's more angrier unhinged phases to me#personally i still prefer short-hair Obito over Long-Hair 'bito because Long-Hair bito looks too much like Madara :')) and less like obito#but i still really like this version of him too!#anywhos i hope you like it!!#Thank you for the interesting Art Request~
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
i listen to fog lake too much
#falls through the ceiling with a mighty crash hello#it's been what...8 months?#I was too busy w uni and being mentally ill#thank u everyone so much for the tags on all prev posts.. i re-read them oaccasionally 💗#they make me v happy thank u for giving me a moment of ur time#that means so much#anyway! vashwood!!#i hate them so much#i want to eat them#i want to ugly cry#i want an ideal world where they could've had something for a little bit#im eating drywall and pacing around the room in a cold sweat#so trimax-atypical overt intimacy it is#more coming...in maybe another year#It's a big project!#to me. yeah#my dream is to be put in a terrarium for a while#if only u knew how many wips I have w vashwood..#maybe i'll get tired and pile them into one post all unfinished and no less ok for it yk#whatever u r doing doesn't need to be perfect to make someone happy#didn't u experience a positive little zap from my imperfect colored doodle rn?#what a speedrun of a drawing that was#(<spent 10h on it. that's the minimum for anything ever)#hope today is treating you well! so long stranger!#vashwood#vash the stampede#nicholas d wolfwood#trimax#trigun#tzarrz
3K notes
·
View notes
Note
your fursona is one of the cutest on the whole website
WRONG all fursonas on this website are cute and to prove it i impulsively drew a few that came to mind
(tags under the readmore)
left to right, starting at the top row + goin across then down
@feybeasts (dragon) @kimskam (cow) @vonkarn (dragon) @punkitt-is-here (unicorn) @krisispiss (wolf) @wolfertinger666 (bunny) @soft--dogs (doggy) @skunkes (skunk) hi hello i hope it's alright i drew your sonas i adore all of y'alls work <3
#+ one ponysona bc star mangolia has a RLLY cute design and ive wanted an excuse to draw her lol#mspaint mouse doodlie#skunk#bunny#dog#dragon#cow#pony#fursona#furry#mspaint#my art#no but Actually thank you :0] it means a lot to me tht people like cow#uah#nervous to post this from some weird admirer of all ya'lls art pov as if im not also an artist with a following. hi#if you saw the version where i forgot smunkers face markings no you didn't
2K notes
·
View notes