#and then *that* shit happened and I lost literally all of my drawings including this one

[pyr0peyt]

Lil' smoochie :]

[madwomansapologist]

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ༘⋆ rizz? oh, you mean my autism?

★彡 synopsis: jjk boyfriends' ways of loving an autistic reader.

characters: satoru gojo, suguru geto, kento nanami, choso kamo, toji fushiguro, hajime kashimo.

bella's note: my new year's resolution? to be way more self-indulgent!

.ᐟ.ᐟ KENTO 'QUIZ TIME' NANAMI

The first time it happened, Kento assumed you were way too focused on work to cook something before you were about to faint. The second time, maybe you were distracted. From then on, it was a pattern Kento couldn’t unsee.

Arms shaking as you cook. Changing the shower temperature when your skin is burning hot. Only washing your glasses when they are so dusty he could draw on them. Waking up on the middle of the night to use the bathroom.

You only listen to your needs when your body screams.

THIS PACKAGE INCLUDES: “Do you need a drink?” — “Have you eaten anything? That doesn’t count.” — “Want me to close the curtains?” — “Come clean your glasses with me. I could clean yours, but you would need to clean mine. That’s what I thought.” — “Did you pay your bills this month?” — “Have you watched that movie you told me about?” — “Are you going to bed or I’ll have to start undressing? Oh, so now you hear me?”

.ᐟ.ᐟ CHOSO 'ACCIDENTAL MIME' KAMO

Choso would’ve never noticed if you hadn’t got mad at him. Mocking you? of course he was not! That’s so mean, Choso would never do that to someone he loves.

You have this habit. Of repeating words or phrases others use. Choso thought it was sweet. It showed that you were paying attention to every conversation. He started doing the same for you to know that he was listening, too.

Choso would’ve never understood if it wasn’t for Yuji. Echolalia. You weren’t doing it on purpose. It was automatic. What he saw as a habit was something you have no control over. When Choso started doing the same, you thought it was his way of saying “stop that, you’re bothering me.”

Once Choso explained himself, it was your turn to think it was a sweet habit.

THIS PACKAGE INCLUDES: “Sorry, sir, I didn’t mean to.” — “Choso, you’re very beautiful. Wait.” — “Can you shut up? Sorry.” — “Do you want to go out? I would love to.” — “Fuck that. Hey, Yuji, don’t use those words.” — “Babe? Yes?”

.ᐟ.ᐟ SUGURO 'SOCIAL CLUES TRANSLATOR' GETO

People, most often than not, will say things without actually saying them. The first time the meaning behind someone’s word were completely lost once they reached your ears, Suguru thought it was amusing. But then he understood some think it’s only logical to blame you for not getting what they chose not to say.

Arguing with someone unwilling to change their ways is pointless. If they don’t want to communicate with others, so be it. Suguru would pity them for wasting their chance of knowing you, but he prefers when you spend your time with him.

In important events, Suguru will tell you what to expect. Out with friends, he may warn you about someone not being very happy. Oh, the countless times Suguru was the one to explain that “no, honey, they didn’t mean it literally.”

Suguru would rather not being called tutorial mascot by his partner, but if you’re happy… so be it.

THIS PACKAGE INCLUDES: “Hyperbole.” — “I think that was her polite way of spitting on his face. It gave me chills.” — “I also don’t know what he meant by that.” — “She’s definitely lying.” — “Not literally.” — “Shit. Satoru will ask me to give a speech. You will pretend to be sick? ... I love you.”

.ᐟ.ᐟ HAJIME 'TELL ME MORE' KASHIMO

Hajime WILL know about all your special interests. You have no say in this matter. He wants to know everything about you that there is to know. After all, what is love if not seeing the other and accepting them entirely?

He prefers to do it while he trains. Hajime will practice his techniques with your voice to sooth his muscles. Don’t matter what is on your mind, he wants to hear it all. A specific actress, some movie you saw, penguins? Lovely, keep going.

It's endearing the way you know so much about what you love. Makes Hajime want to ask you what you know about him. Just to check.

THIS PACKAGE INCLUDES: "No, no. Please, keep going." — "And that was created when?" — "Your voice is enchanting." — "How did you discovered that?" — "I think, when I was young, I read a book that mentioned this." — "Talk to me. I want to listen."

.ᐟ.ᐟ TOJI 'HUMAN FURNACE' FUSHIGURO

Toji knows how to read someone. It's useful. If he can understand their desires and fears, then he knows what to expect. When it comes to you, what surprises Toji is that he uses this skill to help instead of getting something for himself.

He learned to read you. To understand what your body tells without the need to hearing it from you. Toji understands when something makes you upset, mad, uncomfortable. Even when you're drowning on your emotions and nothing else makes sense: Toji knows you.

And what he learned is that, to silence your mind from all those confusing thoughts, something bigger against you can be distracting enough. To be more exact, to have Toji against you. On his lap, between his arms, beneath him on the couch.

THIS PACKAGE INCLUDES: "I'm warm? How sweet of you." — "Can you hear me now?" — "You feel like you can’t breath? I'll let you go when you get sure of that." — "How's your mind now? Too crowded?" — "Forget about them. Just look at me. That's right. It's you and me, nothing else matters."

.ᐟ.ᐟ SATORU 'DEFENSE ATTORNEY' GOJO

Has someone been harsh to you? A boss ignored your rights? A doctor diminished your requests and questions? You know who to call: Satoru Gojo, your beautiful, funny, interesting, inteligent, kind, considerate [50 adjectives later] boyfriend!

Satoru WILL fight anyone that tries to disrespect you. Don’t matter who, don’t matter why. He's ready to throw hands (or cursed energy, to specify). It can be your mom, he doesn’t care. No one messes with you.

But he also defends you in more pacific terms. He will give whole ass lessons to people that tried to argue with you. He will keep talking until they get it right. If someone tries to embarrass you, Satoru is embarrassing them. He doesn’t care about anyone. If they were able to make you uncomfortable, than they are able of dealing with some discomfort too.

THIS PACKAGE INCLUDES: "Well, actually..." — "I understand what you're saying. Completely. But you're wrong and I will tell why exactly why." — "Say that again." — "You must think you are so funny." — "You think so? Ok, sit down. I'll explain it all to you."

© all rights reserved to MADWOMANSAPOLOGIST

[youronlylie]

hello people in my phone

BOONE head cannon list, just a mix of stuff that'll probably change later ( THERE WILL BE MORE ) 1/?

• He undoubtedly was ripped/heavily worked out being in the ncr, after moving to novac and loosing his wife he undoubtedly lost a lot of muscle but...guys he still is literally like beefed.

• He cannot fucking cook for shit, he understands what shouldn't be put in your body but from there he has no clue.

• Going off of cooking, he has strict times where he eats, like routine from the ncr.

• For some reason he strikes me as a guy who really enjoys fruit whenever he can get his hands on it.

• Cannot tolerate any sort of spice.

• Smells very mettalic, sweaty, like man must.

• Has a soft spot for cats.

• 1000% is not bald, just shaves his head as he probably prefers the look.

• I feel like with a romantic partner, since he isn't one much for talking his love language would be physical touch or gift giving, I could imagine him seeing stuff he knows they'd like and saving it for later, excited to see how they'd react.

• He would definitely have a special place in his heart for fantasy movies, he doesn't seem to be able to express himself well and I feel like the creativity of something like lord of the rings would get him going.

• I seriously cannot pick so I'll include both, he is either an extreme cuddler with a romantic partner or on very rare occasions, he's just terrible at expressing emotion.

• If the courier and him are something like romantic partners he'd definitely never be able to sleep, often awake staring and listening for noises, waiting for the next cascade of legionares but it never happens and he eventually learns that.

• I don't think he'd ever get married again unless it'd be over 20 or so years in the future, it's a type of commitment that I don't think he could mentally handle whatsoever unless he is totally over Carla.

• I definitely do think boone could find love again in another person, he's scared and alone, fearful for any sort of attachment.

• 10000% has really really nice man hands, like large hands with nice fingers.

• Is definitely tall but not close to arcade tall, 6' ish at MOST, I just feel like looking at his build and concept art that he is definitely a tall man.

• Secretly really has a thing for drawing whenever he can, especially when he was nested at novac, sitting up top the dinosaur scribbling stuff on old receipts or whatever else it helps him get his emotions and thoughts out.

• irl he would be so patriotic it's not even funny, like he'd go all out for fourth of July but is the somber type so he'd cook hot dogs and whatever else then sit in the corner and watch everyone else.

• Has a thing for memorizing features, very very very intuitive and will remember almost anything you tell him.

• He is so the type of guy to enjoy snow, like yeah he'd probably be kinda pissy for a bit but if you pushed his buttons enough I feel like he'd mess around with the courier.

• He absolutely like no doubt has nightmares, like the ones where you erupt in cold sweat and your throat is sore.

• If he does sleep like ever, along with nightmares he grips the sheets, rolls around a whole lot, mumbles. In the ncr he was the total opposite, stone faced, layed straight and slept some what peacefully until later on in his ncr years.

• Yearns for someone, even platonic, to just sit beside him, no words and scratch his back and kinda just touch him lightly. I don't think he'd cry but it's something I could imagine would bring him close to tears.

• He absolutely probably finds almost everyone annoying, like, he just is done with everything and doesn't give two shits about what anyone has to say unless the courier puts some sense into him.

• Really disagrees with gambling, just doesn't like it.

• Wishes he had a nice farm house, out somewhere away from everything, where it has everything he needs and could be away from absolutely everyone. ( of course after extracting revenge on the legion )

• He wants to learn how to play guitar, either he has tried and is horrible or has just never gotten the chance, I have a feeling he'd really be into (irl) like classic rock or something smooth.

• Cannot look at people with features his wife had the same, down to personality or looks.

• Absolutely dreads deep down without realizing going back to novac when the courier disbands him.

• He would like having books read to him, he's a listener not a reader, likes hearing people's voices just not his own.

• At a point probably had a nickname for his rifle, something like Beth or something that was a joke between him and Manny.

• Manny 1000% at a point tried hinting to boone or even confessing his love for him, either the point never got across or they got over it together. ( somewhat ish at a point )

• In all reality I play him out to be a really sweet guy, which I can imagine and he can somewhat tend to be but he ultimately really doesn't care, he'll kill in order to get what he wants ( so be it revenge or whatever else ) even if he isn't necessarily fond of it.

• At a point, consumed by guilt he forgets what Carla looks like and that eats him up inside, like the teeth gritting soul crushing ache for revenge, and a year or two leads him to completely forget her complexion.

[empty-movement]

sorry but please... post your akio plastic covered couch tweet here... the world needs to know...

Warning: pics of gross shit happening on the couches

I'll do you one better and include the STORY! So, I, Vanna (note: Yasha mostly does the Tumblr and I mostly do the Twitter,) was smoking enough weed to knock out a large horse or put a very tiny dent in my constant back and shoulder pain, as one does when when they're a middle-aged Registered Nurse in the year 2023. (I'm 39 but it's an old 39, lmao.)

Scrolling through Twitter, I stumble on a fanart of Suletta from Witch of Mercury sitting goofily on a white couch. Now I haven't seen this show yet, but the white couch....looked familiar, and I know the show is very much a descendent of Utena in terms of creative teams. For those that don't know, the series is written by Ichirō Ōkouchi, who also wrote the two Revolutionary Girl Utena novelizations...which if you didn't know about before, you know about now, and can read translated on our site here! (Warning: Touga and Miki uh, in the novels...)

Anyways, so I hop onto my own website and start downloading the images that will constitute receipts, before realizing 1. these images are all on multiple computers feet away from me, 2. the couch isn't an identical match, 3. that'd have been weird anyway, and most importantly, 4:

AKIO'S COUCHES DON'T LOOK RIGHT. OBSERVE:

The edges of the armrests have sloppier upholstery than the blanket I have covering my computer desk. I took the time to tuck seams at least. What is this??

Now it could absolutely be leather, I thought. It would absolutely track. But leather upholstery doesn't look like this. It doesn't wrinkle quite this way. It would have cleaner seams.

No. No that's too shiny for leather. So here I am, presented with this strangeness I'd never really considered in how Akio's couch is drawn, and having spent the last few months learning about my Italian-American family history, my chemically altered ass came to the only reasonable conclusion:

Akio Ohtori has plastic coverings on his white couches, like he's a depression era American in poverty.

Fuck yeah, I though, A HIT TWEET, there, at the end of all Tweeting things. (Yeah I'm working on that, stay tuned, lmao. I of all people know when to bail on stupid men with stupid power.) Because I am me, I framed it as semi serious by pulling a context to explain it out of my ass:

I was joking.

But the replies? They were not. And then I thought about it some more. And I've kept thinking about it. Do I seriously think Ikuhara and Co literally are intentionally drawing a plastic covered couch? Doesn't that feel, Vanna, like a bit of a stretch, even for Utena meta?

Listen to that CRONCH when Akio sits down in episode 31, before Anthy is seen by Nanami. Look, the buttons on the back rest don't quite fit, but the rest? Yeah it kinda does. I was high, but not wrong!?

Akio *does* surround himself with a bizarre hodgepodge of Americana as an aesthetic. The arm garters. The piping and cut of his cowboy-ass shirt. His American car. His mullet. His miniature fucking golf. Why not the plastic covered couch? It's a trope of American poverty that would absolutely have fallen neatly into the diet of American pop culture that influenced Ikuhara. (He makes references to E.T. and The Godfather and Suspiria and all kinds of things in his other work, Utena itself is a little less obvious with individual references but inherits HUGE amounts of vibes from the same content--Ikuhara and Co watched Lost Highway in theaters during the production of the Akio Arc and I will not be convinced otherwise.)

So yeah. That's the story, and that's the theory. Do I seriously believe it was deliberate? Maybe. Probably. Possibly. But it fits so well it's headcanon for me, and in the Utena fandom, pretty much all canon is kind of headcanon so enjoy this one.

What an asshole.

[slushglow]

EMO USAGI LORE DROP + BONUS (W/ TW !!)

just want to start by saying sorry it took me eighty five yrs to even post this thats super my bad hahaha

this basically explains how yuichi lost his markings and came to run away from his family, i just did this little comparison drawing of when he's a kid (age 11) to when he's a little older (age 17) and then word vommed everything i could into two pages HAHAHA

i know my handwriting is so shit im so sorry, i meant to find the original google doc and/or procreate file to copy and paste the text or at least retype it here BUT I CANT FIND EITHER OF THEMMMM i am literally going insane, i'm on my phone rn or i would be typing all of this out asap but tumblr hates me on mobile and it's also like 3 am but i PROMMY i will get around to retyping everything in a much easier to read format instead of yall zooming in three thousand times to read the hieroglyphs that is my handwriting HAHAHA i'll def edit this when i get the chance and do just that so pls bear w me </3 when i finally find the google doc i will also include it bc it has a ton more info !!!!!

anyways if y'all have any comments questions or concerns pls don't be afraid to drop an ask i would also love to just word vom abt my version of yuichi + leo and yuichi + the others bc they r very dear to me !!!

there's a bonus image under the cut that shows child yuichi moments after getting his scar, just warnin y'all again !!!! don't worry it's not super graphic tho, u also cant see the actual injury !!

TW // DEPICTION OF BLOOD AND INJURY

this is the following moment after he gets his scar

the overall shock from the events of the day (losing his brother, watching him die, having to face his grandfather) means he barely even reacts when it happens but at the same time it's kinda like this epiphany hits him that he can't stay anymore u know :/ idk i didn't intend on making him such a tragic character but here we are !!! LMAO

ANYWAYSSS thanks so much for sticking around guys i uber appreciate u all B) again if u have any questions comments or concerns don't be afraid to hit up my ask box !! okay i'm finally done now HAHAHA

[hils79]

Hils Watches Mysterious Lotus Casebook - Ep 27

Fang Duobing: I'm really angry with you for letting me think you got killed by zombies Also Fang Duobing: MUST PROTECT THE BOYFRIEND I AM ANGRY WITH

Aww come on I thought you were friends now

They both care about him now 🥺

The way Fang Duobing ran to catch him when he fainted 🥺

The protector is now the protected. This is all too much.

OH SHIT! He just revealed himself to everyone including Fang Duobing to save Fang Duobing's life. There is so much happening in this episode.

Nooooo! She took away their A-Fei!

God, I knew it would be heartbreaking when Fang Duobing found out. The way he immediately runs to Li Lianhua when he collapses but then draws short of touching him because everything is different now. My heart!

Props to Zeng Shunxi for his acting. Fang Duobing looks like he's aged about ten years in the time it took for Li Lianhua to wake up

I shouldn't laugh because this is heartbreaking to watch but yes, he has, in more ways than one

Now he's crying. This is horrible. I just want to wrap him in a blanket and cuddle him.

I do feel bad for Li Lianhua. He just got used to having people in his life again that he can trust and he lost both of them in the space of about an hour

I'm placing a bet now that he's faking not remembering anything that happened after he left seclusion so he can stealthily find out what Jiao Liqiao is up to

I am laughing at her having all her men on stanby though in case Di Feisheng woke up and immediately tried to kill her

Yeah, he's acting way too heterosexual for this to be anything other than a ruse

Well, he kept a piece of Di Feisheng's under armour so I suppose I'm not surprised he kept the broken flute too

Oh no :D

I literally had to pause this for five minutes because I was laughing so hard. This dude just came right out and said 'don't you think it's sus that Di Feisheng suddenly isn't gay anymore'

Usually when they show part of the face of the mysterious mastermind I can fairly easily figure out who it is. I have no idea who this dude is though.

[lmelodie]

....Heyyyy. Hows it going guys? How long as it been? Over a year? Huh. Honestly? Did not expect today of all days to be the one where this shit gets posted.

So, A LOT of shit has happened since the last chapter update and I will be elaborating about where Chance and Choice has been, a personal update as to why it hasn't been updated and where it's going in the future!

Best to take this from the top. The two main life things that have happened over the past year are:

My old hard drive CRASHED OUT ON ME. I lost a good chunk of my art, images, and other things I kept on that thing. There are some drawings I am STILL salty I will never get back INCLUDING the god damn CC story outline! And my notes for the fucking magic system! Both of those intrinsic pieces were lost earlier this year, STILL big mad about it

I moved house in the middle of this year! It was out of my childhood home which made the move a lot harder, but also took up literally so much of my time outside of my 9 to 5.

And to add to those, I have also been really struggling with an ✨insecurity spiral✨ regarding my writing and my art. I was doing the big No No and comparing myself to what other people have been doing. I am trying to be better! And I'm trying not to do it as much, it's a work in progress.

But I do want to hopefully continue Chance and Choice! I really want to finish it to say that I wrote a multichapter fic and to get this story I wanna tell out there. So, I will be sparsely continuing in the future, just whenever a new chapter happens, there won't be any schedule, it's just on a Whenever I Get To It basis.

For now, though chapter 11 is here! We have Jac trying to kill Lucy again, Lucy being SASSY to him, Bernards family (!) and the man in the moon ruining more shit! Thank you for those who have stuck around, please enjoy!

[meoproject]

some doodles with my characters.... some of these have already been posted separately, but there's some new ones also

If you're still here, have some explanations: "Heraldry" -- Just a small coat of arms design to symbolize the nation/race/species Beriith belongs to (I still don't have a name for them lol :/ ) ... yeah its a goat with a demon tail, what about it "Aging" -- Kid Beriith and... current day Beriith. He was always a serious kid, but definitely not as troubled as he is now. I like the idea of drawing my characters as children, but I genuinely don’t enjoy drawing children… kids generally don’t have the features I like drawing the most (like prominent nose shapes) so I often don’t, but I wanted to think about how Beriith’s horns looked before they grew in. "T-shirt" -- girl im so sorry about your booba "Eligori's new clothes" -- I thought about Eligori's design, and decided that I didn't like the direction I took his outfit to. There was a reason for it (mostly I wanted to differentiate him from Beriith) but it didn't really work. There's some fun symbolism in this one too, though its so subtle only I get it. "Swap" -- What lf Beriith was an elf and Val was… whatever demon species Beriith is. I... kinda… hate how naked Beriith looks without his horns, and Val is giving me “smurfette as succubus” so that sucks also. The only thing I like is that this would be a pretty fun height difference. Absolutely cursed otherwise, though. "Portrait" -- Portrait of Val for her toyhou.se profile. Literally just included this to fill some space. "Argument" -- Beriith and Val both can get pretty argumentative when pushed. Beriith isn't even hard to push into an argument; there are things he's very opinionated about, he is... weird about being told what to do, and he rarely cares about being polite, soooo.... Val generally tries to play nice longer than Beriith would, but she has her limits, and once she reaches said limits, she gets super snarky and verbally aggressive. "Gift" -- When Val was a child, she used to idolize her aunt, like, a lot. Her aunt was a cool archmage who dared to speak against their family's shitty expectations, and even as a young child Val realized that was what she also wanted to be. Her aunt eventually distanced herself from their family, and ceased all contact, but before she left, she gave Val one of her hair ribbons as a gift. Val has treasured it ever since, and to this day, over 20 years later, she still ties her hair with it. "Pears" -- There is a specific pear cultivar that mainly grows around the region Beriith lived in before.... shit happened, and he became the world-traveling bodyguard-for-hire he is now. The pear is known for it sour taste that requires cooking to become sweet, and them raw is something of an acquired taste. Sometimes Beriith comes across them and can't help but get one, and feel just a bit more hollow inside as he is reminded of everything he has lost. He doesn't even like the flavor. It's just emotional self-harm, really.

[orinthered]

Dragon's Dogma having only one save file may be a design choice (I know of at least one major thing you're referring to), but in actual practice, it just means that some people are objectively going to lose progress or have very negative experiences with the game

To that point, I started a new DD1 file before DD2's release and I ran into an issue where I just kept freezing on random load screen, right as it was autosaving, so my save file kept getting corrupted. Lost like 5 hours of progress from the start of the game, had to do it all over again, then it happened again in a different spot. The only reason I was able to make any meaningful progress until I figured out the issue was by making manual backups

I'm honestly terrified of the same thing happening with Dragon's Dogma 2 and have actually been stopping my play sessions periodically just to make a manual backup, then loading back in. Not even including the in-game event(s) that can royally screw your playthrough, that is a completely unnecessary fear that the devs have chosen to create, which is particularly egregious considering the mountain of performance and crashing issues people have been experiencing due to poor optimization

People who want to save scum or simply want the security of backups are always going to find the means to do so regardless of what the devs intend. I mean, DD1 had a mod that automatically backed up your save file and it was already retooled for DD2 literally on release day. To inconvenience all players purely for the sake of encouraging a specific play style is, quite frankly, insulting to peoples' time. Plenty of games manage to create compelling exploration experiences and interesting points of consequence and tension without tying any of it to some random, severely limiting mechanic or design choice

I say all of this as someone who's currently 40 hours in and is loving the exploration (which evokes that first time experience of playing Breath of the Wild), but who absolutely abhors the notion of having to repeat a 20+ minute long trek because I got to a quest area to save an NPC from some monster and the NPC ends up falling in the water literally as soon as I arrive, causing the game to auto-save because the quest is now "complete" (failed). Or, suddenly all of my pawns have swan dived into a river due to pathfinding issues or climbing movement quirks, causing me to waste time, rift crystals, or ferrystones to recuperate. Or, being forced to automatically talk to a passing NPC/pawn during a fight, causing my escort NPC to draw aggro and die while I'm trying to mash out of the dialogue menu

Defend the vision of players needing to pay attention and sit with their consequences all you'd like, but small, dumb shit like that is honestly infuriating and it happens way more often than it should

i get that this is annoying but i also think that if the ability to savescum existed in the game, everyone would do it. would i necessarily complain about multiple saves in a game like dragon's dogma? probably *not*, but i would miss the experience of being forced to engage with the game in a way i would not if i had access to multiple saves. i found myself missing this in baldur's gate 3 — because i had the ability to savescum things like rolls, i never played with the consequences of failing rolls.

is that a failure of those game systems? yeah. larian wants you to engage with failed rolls, but how many players do you know actually do that? who don't just press f9 when they get a shit roll?

you can dislike these systems, that's fair. but dragon's dogma fills a lot of niches that other games do not. one of these niches is a one-save system that forces you to engage with the game by making you play the game with your consequences, or suffer some really annoying backtracking with the inn save system. i do not think that every game has to appeal completely to every person. if you think dragon's dogma is insulting to your time, that's fine. if you think the execution is bad (which i could argue for, even though i really like what dd2 does) that is also fine. not every aspect of the game is gonna be a hit, god knows there's a particular section of dd2 that i think was a real miss (those who've beaten the game know exactly what i'm talking about) but i mean... there are reasons for it, infuriating or not. that is also part of the experience.

[james-is-not-here]

Venting

Imagining random shit to try and fall asleep when it full on hit me that I'm an age regresser...

Like I knew I wanted to be smaller so to speak and I wanted to be like a child but it finally hit me. Not only that, it hit me that I think I'm doing it to cope.

The last few years of my teen hood weren't that great. I lost my Papaw, lost my best friend. Then we were scammed out of a house and had to move in with my grandma and during the time at my grandma's I was experimenting and while doing so I kept secrets. I hid everything from my parents and at the same time someone in my family was going down a dark path, went to a shitty hospital for it which made the dark path even darker and my secrets were apart of that too, I started to feel safer at school rather than my own home.

Then I graduated, my family finally moved out of my grandma's house and slowly but surely the tiny thread I had connected to the family member started to weave itself back together but only now am I realizing that I didn't feel like being "small" until after all this happened.

I use to feel independent and could do things on my own but now? Now I'm scared. I'm scared that my art won't get me to where I want to be, I'm scared that I'll always be by myself and my friends will forget me, I'm now scared to be independent and this all happened after a graduated. I don't have a schedule to follow, I don't have anywhere to go, I don't have a set plan to follow anymore and now all I do is sit around and do random shit on my phone.

For crying out loud, I can't even finish a fucking request or stand alone fics. I start it but then I stop and I feel so shitty for leaving all of you hanging but I also appreciate that no one has hated on me for it, that you're still waiting and I'm sorry that it's taking me so long to get things out.

This started out as me realizing I want to be cared for and held and babied but now I realize just how fucking scared I've become. How Co-Dependent I've become all because I'm not at school anymore like seriously? What happened to the person that willingly auditioned for their first solo in band? What happened to person that helped create a club for their school? What happened to the person that literally offered their skills to a teacher to make posters? What happened to the person that would give more than 100% in school projects that included drawing something?

Why did I step back into my shell? Why did I go back to that shy person in the back of the class that stuttered and tripped over her words when put on the spot? Why did I go back when I was so high up?

My old ELA teacher, god I loved him. Student/Teacher love I mean. He, too, had ADHD and I didn't know that but when he told me I felt so seen. He helped me so much. He helped me understand better and he came up with "The Graph". I'm tearing up just thinking about him cause he was amazing. "The Graph" is what we referred to as my progress. I was to push to keep the graph going up, to not stop and keep it from going down.

Yeah, if I was to see that teacher again he wouldn't be happy that my graph is plummeting. He wouldn't be happy that my graph hasn't peaked in a year, almost two.

I just don't know what I'm doing wrong and I'm fucking scared. I don't know how to get back into the groove I had and I feel so left behind. I know I shouldn't compare myself to others but I feel so behind with all my friends in college or in the military. I know I work differently but I feel like I should be up there with them, I should be doing something beneficial rather than doing nothing. I don't know what I'm doing wrong. I'm even starting to doubt my art which I'm also scared of cause I'm so fucking good at what I do.

I just don't know what to do anymore.

[weebsinstash]

I saw that fairy ask and you know what would be insufferable actually?

Fairy! Gojo.

He sees a lil cute traveler who got lost from her group while taking a walk through the forest, decides he wants to mess with her a bit. Absolute piece of shit bully except now he’s a fairy (which… isn’t very different from how he usually is? lmao), altering her perception of time and space (or maybe altering the layout of the fucking forest. who knows) so she’s walking around in circles for what feels like a couple of hours when it’s actually been days, scaring her with creepy sounds of his laughter and pitter-patter of feet, to the point she’s so scared she breaks down crying.

Meanwhile he’s just laughing at his funny little pranks until he decides “you know what I want to keep her actually :3” so he just appears and starts trying to interact like everything is fine and dandy. Maybe he does this thing I saw in a folklore tale once where the fairy undressed herself and bathed by the river to seduce the guy she wanted except it’s Gojo and the last thing you want to see when you’re scared and lost in a forest is a naked uncanny grown ass man bathing in a river.

Or consider this: Unseelie Fairy! Sukuna. This one’s a menace.

Ok so the first thing coming in my head is, remember how he kept absolutely pestering the fuck out of Nanami and it was to give him a note and when Nanami finally opened it, it was just a drawing of a dick. He's such a fucking troll I can just, SEE a fae Gojo bugging you constantly and insisting you take some sort of gift from him and you keep turning him down either out of modesty and being humble or you just genuinely don't like him and when he finally cracks your patience and you take it just to get him to leave you alone, he just gets this shit eating grin "ok you accepted my special gift and that means we're married now~!" and he's being 500% serious like he did in fact not tell you he was basically doing his people's courting ritual and you have now basically accepted to like, be his spouse 💀

You open the gift or unwrap it and it's just a drawing of a dick or some other troll gift, he just needed you to accept period and NOW that you're "together" he can get you REAL gifts (that are also occasionally fucked up or twisted). Like imagine you turn him down so many times he eventually just offers you something so extremely small and minor it's like, ok is this all it takes to leave me alone? He gives you a little braided bracelet or like handcrafted trinket or like something handmade and humble and seemingly innocent and it's like Surprise Bitch That's Enchanted and you just touched it or even put it on 😩😩😩

Other classic dickhead fairy Gojo moments include "you're lost in the woods and he uses magic to distort the forest and make you walk in circles until you're literally crying and freaking out and he thinks it's really funny and adorable" like he's some kind of malicious ass Cheshire cat, constantly laughing at your struggles and teasing you. He'll tease you to tears and then kiss those tears away and say you're a cute silly little baby 🥰 (lmao I'm stoned and basically forgot that's literally what you said already so, same braincell haha)

He's like completely out of touch and not realizing that, he's not just interested in you, he's legitimately infatuated with you, until you're like at the local harvest festival or something similar and you go to dance with someone else and, wait a second why is he getting so tense watching someone else put their hands on you and look into your eyes and you're both smiling and laughing and--

he loses his temper and some magic bullshittery happens like it suddenly starts to storm or another person accidentally trips into your partner and they twist their ankle and can't dance anymore or even something falling on them or being blown by a sudden and specific gust of wind like gojo is canonically pretty sadistic imo like he had to be ordered not to kill someone and he's like "ok I'll just horrifically twist all their limbs then :)"

And he's, you know a fae and a weirdo so he doesn't even always need to traditionally spend time with you. You're ignoring him and refusing to come near him? Fine, he'll transform into a cat and suddenly you're rubbing his belly and giving his kisses and calling him a little scrunkly baby like, magic really does open all doors. Maybe his gifted bracelet or charm that you put on let's him track you and even read your thoughts and shit and of course you can't take it off

And on the subject of Sukuna, someone was asking if I saw the newest developments with him after we were discussing the recent manga developments, and it's like "oh you mean him being ugly now, yeah I saw 😒" 😂😂😂 Yuuji has some potential with him being a relatively idk nice and innocent boy and then he's got, you know, a mischievous ancient demon inside of him. Itadori over here "wow Reader is a really good sorceror and has a good heart, im lucky to have then as my friend ^^" and Sukuna chimes in "yeah that's why they would look so cute with their mouth on our cock :3"

[not-made-of-actual-rye]

I'm not done (if you saw my last post). This time, though, I'm not talking about the sick old men who are my band directors. Let's go a little bit younger.

There's this guy I know. His fake name (because his real name makes me feel sick to my stomach) is Aaron. I've never talked about him on social media before, mostly because he's on every other platform of social media I have other than Tumblr (I'd praise god if I weren't atheist)

Aaron always scared me. Immediate red flag, right? 🚩 Well, I met him exactly 10 days after I officially started dating my boyfriend. It's probably a good time to mention (unfortunately) that Aaron is my boyfriend's oldest brother.

If you've seen the other post, you'll know I am in my school's band (this took place before all the shit that made me hate the band directors, mind you, and I still loved band with my entire heart and soul at this point). Unfortunately, my boyfriend comes from a very musical family, and every single one of them is/was an instrumentalist.

On this unfortunate day of December 15th, 2023, our band directors decided it was a wonderful idea to have an alumni game, where all former graduates of our school are allowed back to play again in a pep band game. I'd never met Aaron until this point, and I admitted to my boyfriend that I didn't want to meet him. Again, gut feeling that he was bad news.

That night, he asked his brother to point me out. Me being scared of him (he was also right behind me in the stands) I avoided him as best I could, but being in his general proximity gave me a massive headache that didn't go away for the rest of the night. He was also a very loud player (egotistical bitch) and was bothering other members of my section too

After the pre-game performance, I ended up finding him looking lost in the back hallway that typically only the band members used. Just being kind, I explained to him that most people were out socializing in the Commons, and it would be better for him to wait out there rather than alone in the hallway.

I was unfortunately naive when this occurred, and I didn't realize his intentions when he began using this time with us alone to interrogate me, including questions about where I lived and what my parents did for work. I didn't clock this as creepy behavior until much, much too late, because I assumed he was just being friendly. Even so, when I did manage to escape his questioning, I hid with a group of friends and avoided him as best I could.

As far as I knew, nothing else happened for a couple months (there was actually a lot happening at this time that I'll cover later) until my boyfriend invited me and one of my best friends at the time to a college pep band game that his father led. I had a lot of fun there, and I loved every minute of it (except when my boyfriend neglected to give me literally any important information about this event I'd never gone to despite me begging him to give me details)

At this game and at this college, there's a long-standing tradition where attractive college women will dress in bathing suits and cover up with trenchcoats, only to reveal their bodies whenever the opposing team attempted to score a free throw

Aaron made a comment about my makeup (I like to do more graphic looks including rhinestones around my eyes), saying, and I quote "At least you're drawing attention to your eyes, and not..." and he trailed off but he made it abundantly clear he was referring to the ladies in swimsuits. Especially when he followed his statement up with, "Of course, you're aware of the tradition, right?" He began explaining it to me while I stood there in silence.

For a while, I thought his comment had been funny. It became an inside joke between me and my boyfriend, because, again, I had been naive and not realized it was not only weird but also extremely creepy to be making comments about a 15-year old showing off her body like the adult college students were. (Reminder that he was 25 at the time, and knew my age)

This all occurred on January 20th, 2024. 3 months later (almost exactly) on April 21st, I was visiting my boyfriend's house for the second time. It was going really well, until I forced my boyfriend to show me his phone. I knew he'd been hiding things from me because he would panic every time I got his phone, even if I didn't have any desire to open it. This had been going on for at least 2 months, possibly longer.

For whatever reason, he finally allowed me to see. I looked through his texts when I found they were about me. They were between both of his older brothers. These messages varied between talking about my deepest insecurities (something I'd trusted my boyfriend and only my boyfriend with, not even my closest friends), as well as them berating me for being crazy, psycho, and a red flag. All these insults came directly from Aaron himself, mind you.

I laid on my boyfriend's bed, scrolling through and reading everything they'd ever said about me. He laid behind me, watching. He said mostly nothing, only ever asking if I was okay, to which I couldn't answer by how betrayed and shocked I felt about this whole ordeal.

The texts about me had started back in November, when my boyfriend and I had started talking and falling for each other. He'd gone to his older brothers asking for advice, and they'd given it excitedly, because they'd been wanting him to get a girlfriend for a while before he'd met me. Aaron specifically had been more obsessed with our relationships, even going as far as to make comments about how I better be pretty (his words were "she better not be mid" he then clarified "not attractive")

I cried silently while I read the story of how my boyfriend had told them almost everything I never wanted anyone to know, and even though I knew he'd been hiding something, I never would have assumed it'd be that. I screenshotted the messages (some, not all... I wanted some to remain hidden from anyone who asked to see the messages, because I knew that time would come) and sent them to myself. I sat in his room in silence for a couple minutes just to process everything, ignoring everything he'd try to say to me, and texted his little sister, one of my best friends, if I could hang out in her room for a while because I didn't want to look at him.

I showed her everything, because I figured if I didn't, someone else would, and even though she was younger than I am, she agreed with me that it was messed up and tried her best to comfort me. I stayed with her for longer than I anticipated until I was ready to face my boyfriend again. I went in his room and laid on the bed with him in silence, crying. I said I wasn't sure if I could still love him after that, and even though it hurt seeing his reaction as I broke his heart, he'd broken mine too.

I went home, hiding the truth from my mother when she asked how everything went. I texted my boyfriend and we argued about everything. I officially ended it that night, because I refused to stay with someone who never wanted to be with me forever in the first place.

It was a messy breakup, one that isn't really important to the story aside from knowing about the existence of the text messages and some of the content they contained. Long story very very short, my boyfriend and I got back together after we had a lot of long discussions about the texts.

Essentially, I realized that, aside from my boyfriend telling them things he never should have, he was mostly just asking for advice and answering their questions when the time arose. In the grand scheme of things, it was Aaron (and perhaps the other brother like... once) who was making the nasty comments about me, including not only the creepy comment about my attractiveness, but also sexual things (note that my boyfriend and I never had sex and he knew this).

As if that wasn't enough, the time before my boyfriend and I got back together (we remained friends after the breakup even though we both knew we still had feelings for each other) I learned more about Aaron. A lot of this was from my ex-boyfriend, but some was from his social media (what is with millennials and thinking they should post their every thought online?)

I learned a lot of things about my new enemy Aaron. Some of them included:

His wife, whom he'd married 3 days before my boyfriend and I started officially started dating, was only 3 or 4 years older than me, at the age of 19.

His wife was also homeschooled, never went to college, and had limited social interaction outside of her many siblings and her parents. She met Aaron at either 17 or 18. Aaron, 24-soon-to-be-25, started dating his now-wife as soon as she would've graduated high school at the age of 18.

Aaron has a birth defect (no name was given but I have used this wonderful resource named Google and am making an educated guess in saying it is hypogonadism) which, and I am very sorry to have to type this but it is important, makes it very hard for him to produce sperm.

After only 2 months of marriage, Aaron got his 19-year-old wife pregnant (and I can pinpoint the exact day it was conceived because he told his 16-year old brother, aka my boyfriend, all about it)

Maybe it's just me, but having testosterone issues to the point where you require you're essentially unable to ejaculate (infertility, a common symptom of hypogonadism) and then suddenly being able to make a kid after 2 months as soon as you fuck a teenager? Interesting...

That's all I have to say for now. My hatred for this "man" runs deep, and it will probably be like that for years, but I don't care. I want nothing to do with him

[hiodoshi-ao]

.

I try to stay positive and hopeful to a point but I need to let this out somewhere, somehow...

I don't know how to tell people that I'm burned out from constant [redacted] at home and constantly being targeted by managers at work with unfair write-ups, like the ones I heard horror stories about...

As a "seasonal" employee, I can't get work benefits that full-time ones get to enjoy. These write-ups are blocking me from even getting the opportunity to transition to full-time at all, and open enrollment for benefits are closing soon... which is extremely frustrating because of how mentally and physically broken I've been feeling.

I'm desperately trying to get work accommodations right now, even if I can't afford proper benefits because if I don't, I might lose my job, lose my home (because I lost my job), or reinjure my dominant arm trying to make sure I go above and beyond productivity-wise to not give my managers any leeway in targeting me.

They don't target other people who actually are breaking the rules as long as they're working extremely fast. Give them the numbers they need to look good for their higher ups and they'll look the other way. Follow the rules but fall behind on their computers' records because there's barely been any work to do and get written up. They have a write-up quota and prefer easy targets with "bad" records like me.

They don't even care if people do sloppy work. I can say that for a fact because they refuse to write up this one lady who has a reputation of bullying other coworkers. She's as cruel as she is a fast worker, and it shows because she doesn't care if there's literal bird shit on the work she completes. Not that it's surprising, but I know of other instances proving how little my managers give a fuck. I'm trying so hard to be a good, quiet worker without reinjuring myself or screwing other people over with shit-quality work but it feels impossible now that I'm on their radar.

I'm so broken and tired. I really wish I could just quit my job and become a full-time artist, but is that possible with how burned out I am? People keep telling me I'm wasting my time working where I am because they see potential in my art and it's flattering to hear but compliments like that do the opposite of motivating me... I just don't know where to go from here. I'm not an educated professional, so my brain keeps telling me I don't have the skills or charisma to make it happen... that I don't have what it takes.

I hate life so much. I barely have the energy to do things I like anymore, like drawing or catching up with shows I'm obsessed with. I don't have the energy to interact with my loved ones much, my mom included... It's so easy to isolate myself and I hate it, and I can't even do basic every day things consistently right now. Most of my energy goes into working and trying to appease and accommodate other people's needs over my own.

I feel like I'm drowning with my head barely bobbing out of the water... I know I can make it out of this situation somehow, but how and when... and can that time come faster, please? 😭

[bayleaf-2]

Hi so I didn't make any coding progress today, hence why I didn't post anything, but I did draw all day! Lotta info incoming so here! Here goes! I already did transcripts and stuff for a friend who has some but not all context and I'm. Very very tired so sorry gang but I'm not adding additional context. Also some of the tone might seem weird, cause again, directly to friend and not tumblr

That being said, big thing first! Started some design mockups for Arc 5, character notes included. Got damn the compression on this is bad sorry gang.

The first one is how Lyra looks literally the day after the campaign ends! That design's title is "The worst of it" because I don't know for sure how long that'll last, for multiple reasons (How long Lisp can fuck with Ioun's ritual until the library notices, how long Lyra's in this state of "make it to the next day" grief, etc) but I do know that this is their lowest point, so it feels best to label it as such if I don't have another reference point to label with, at least for the time being. The bullet points are as follows:

Feels dysphoric (outfit helps)

Now that they're not rushing through everything and actually have time to think about how they feel and also don't have to wear high tier armor all the time, Lyra realizes that she's not…actually happy being in such boxy clothes, among other things. I hesitate to go into any more detail cause I don't wanna trigger anyone else's dysphoria, but they change into a looser, more fem outfit. I'm realizing now that the silhouette still looks similar because I'm not as good with drawing clothes, but imagine it's like. Flowy and soft rather than boxy and thick. (Yes this is bc I wanted to give her a design changed but I also realized they'd want the same thing, it's been like. months)

"One day at a time"

Kind of explained before, but I'll elaborate a bit more just cause: They lost their entire family. They lost like 3 out of 4 of the people most important to them. He's almost 300, so he's probably lost someone before, but not like this. Not because of something so world changing, not with the world itself almost waiting for her to get over it so she can help fix everything (or at least that's how she feels.)

Feels bad seeking comfort from or being comforted by the library

The library is something that's connected very strongly to Ioun! He feels like Khunoth and Emily would be furious at him for that, Emily especially. Now does Lyra need to talk to someone? Absolutely. Is he gonna feel any less guilty? Not really.

2nd mockup: Titled "approximately winter" because iirc the campaign started at like…the tail end of summer, and it's been about 3 months (2 months of travel time and 1 month of Actual Shit happening) but don't quote me on the exact timing. Hence the approximately. It could be the beginning of winter, or the end. I also wanted to encompass the whole season to leave wiggle room time-wise for the emotional recovery aspect.

Dysphoria gone! Yay! A combination of them feeling better emotionally and the thing that was causing it being gone. She's more confident again, yippee!

Quest full-time? Maaaybe by this point, he's spending most of his time outside the library going on Kate's quest and looking for the book. Again, it's a timing thing. I imagine once they're in a good enough state for it, they go like. Full detective on it and have a notebook dedicated to their findings and stuff. Additionally, if this is the case, they probably go by Elion at this point! For the record, if any of her family members were still around, she'd probably prefer that they call her Lyra.

Old party members find her Speaking of which! If any of the people from Elion's other parties were to find him, they would've found him by this point, most likely. It's been a while since the godslaying ended and the funeral's happened so word's gotten out about who was involved. Now, based on my memory (but the last time we got recognized was a while ago) people knew the names of the godslayers, but not the faces. There are people who've been tracking the party, but that's a small group, I think. So Elion's party members miiiight not know she's a godslayer unless she tells them? Again, questionable how much the general public knows, and we've been getting adventuring parties sent after us so. It could go either way.

Sorry if this is like. Unfollowable without context, I might fix it in the morning. I also will say, the reason old party members is getting brought up at all is because a friend wanted to hug Lyra after hearing what happened to them and I said ":v she- she's been in other parties, you could have one of your characters know her iyw-" and they said yes, so I'm trying to think about it now, just for funsies XP

There's more art, but with how long this post already is I'm just gonna post em separately.

[keefwho]

June 08 - 2023 Thurdday

2:08 PM

Some of my most frequent thoughts include: “I am alone” “No one wants me” “I’m not good enough” “I’m not worthy of (thing) or (person)” “Is (person) better than me?” 

These are thoughts I want to figure out how to defuse from. They plague my mind. Catching them is the first step which is what I’m doing now. I’ve felt pretty good today and yesterday in general but even when I feel okay, these feelings still loom in the background. I want to truly detach from them. 

7:18 PM

At this moment I’m feeling down on myself, like no one wants me around and to a greater extent, never will. I’ve been feeling like this with everything. I feel like I can’t attend events, or play games with people, or like I can’t be sexually active because it’s not welcome from me. These are all beliefs I have about myself that are not true but it’s hard to shake them off. How can I stop feeling this way? Even if I identify the feelings as they happen, I don’t know how to lessen their effect. 

8:24 PM

Even if I feel bad about myself, the first thing I want to believe is that I am not alone. People care about me. And if it’s not as many people as I’d like, I have the capacity to expand my connection. It CAN be done. An equally noble priority is to stop feeling like I’m going nowhere. Like I’m stuck in one place where the only way I can go is down. I’m starting to take more interest in my art again. I have the desire to draw ponies along with new episode releases. In some way I also want to get more integrated into the furry community since I feel very outside of it. 

I’d like to believe my self esteem hasn’t gotten worse. I’ve just become aware of it and it’s extent. 

My heart hurts so deeply. At least I feel something. 

9:16 PM

Time to spill it all out. I feel pathetic. My life has gone nowhere. I have no one that loves me. No one is committed to me. I crave mutual companionship but I do not have it. I feel unworthy. Even if I pull myself together I’m just destined to stay alone and unhappy. I have no redeeming qualities, I’m convinced I’m just put up with by people. I’m so far below anyone’s league. I don’t deserve space on this earth. This is how I feel tonight. I’m crying about it, I couldn’t hold it in anymore. I wish I could stop feeling so worthless. I wish I could feel loved, by myself or from anyone else. The second I stop fighting for my survival, it’s over. There is no one to pull me up. I am all that keeps me afloat and sometimes it’s hard to hang on. 

I feel no hope. I’ve lost my friends and social networks. My art is lame, I’m not what I used to be. I don’t dream anymore. I feel like I slowly edge closer to the possibility that I could actually end it. I never thought I’d be the kind of person but here I am. I’m afraid one day I actually might want to. And if I tell anyone that, that’s a quick way to make people want to distant. I know no one wants that in the their life. 

I think the only thing that kept me from worsening depression in the past was my friends. I always had people that would hit me up or that I knew I could go to to hang out with. Now it’s one person that I actually feel connected to and that’s becoming unhealthy. Now I’m nearly completely alone so nothing will keep me from spiraling. 

I have dinner but I literally can’t eat it. I don’t want to eat. 

9:49 PM

I’m such a piece of shit. Being so selfish all the fucking time. I hate myself. Truly despise myself. For causing so much pain to everyone around me all the time just by being myself. And expecting love in return. What a fucking idiot. 

10:45 PM

I seriously have never felt this hopeless. If I feel like this tomorrow morning, I’m not doing work. I might not get to bed on time. I don’t care about trying to do anything. I want to give up. 

[edgepunk]

The Witcher Netflix Rant from your local frustrated Slav I cannot tell you how tired and frustrated I am by TWN and its treatment of Slavic people. An actual Polish man has pitched the show to Netflix, multiple other producers of Slavic descent have been alienated and felt like they didn't belong there because of how they have been treated, then ultimately left the production that has been handed over to a literal Karen that doesn't give a shit about it. The show has removed every instance of Slavic(mainly Polish)/other European (Germanic, Nordic) influences, cultural significance and turned it into an uninspired, boring, muddy fantasy. Hell, I have tons of criticisms about the games, but at least they kept the Central-Eastern European influences and, despite TW being a dark fantasy, weren't scared to make the games look bright and colorful. You'd think that Girlboss Lauren and her posse would put some effort into representing the cultural influences since the games pretty much got the series popular with the blend of different Central-Eastern European (mainly Polish, obviously) cultures and the usage of Slavic folk music thanks to Percival. A lot of the themes in the books draw from Poland's history, which also have been lost in the show (here is a post that's written by an actual Polish person and explains it better than I could since I'm not actually Polish, ya know). All of that has been lost, both the writing and aesthetics lack the cultural and historical significance that has influenced the world of The Witcher, because the showrunners are a bunch of Brits and USAmericans who aren't willing to put any effort into trying to understand the history and culture. They just want to make the next GoT, which,, huh? GoT ended up like it did, but to give them some credit, in the beginning the writers mostly stuck to the books instead of making a badly written Wattpad fanfiction from the get-go.

And it's possible for a western person to try to understand the circumstances, look at Craig Mazin, the man who directed HBO Chernobyl. Of course it's dramatized, of course they added some things that didn't actually happen and a few things were inconsistent. But you can clearly see in the production of the show that they put a lot of effort and interviewed people from Ukraine. Not sure if it's true, but I've seen somewhere (or was it a podcast?) that they gave the scripts to some Ukrainian people who were alive during the Soviet Union and asked them to correct the dialogues to make them sound more authentic, closer to how people adressed each other during the USSR (and how Eastern Slavs adress each other since it's a little different than western people do, including us Western Slavs, here is a nifty post explaining it if you're interested).

Can't speak for all Slavs, but the overall reaction has been positive from the people I talked to and my older family member. Note that a lot of "older" people here have been born pre '89 (that's when the USSR fell apart, the disaster happened in April '86), so the majority of them lived through the disaster. The biggest criticism people had that they turned Dyatlov into too much of a villain. when in reality he was way calmer during the night the disaster happened. Not to mention Mazin had it more difficult since he was adapting a story from real life that affected thousands upon thousands people. Mazin is a westener, he could've just shrugged it off and said "eh who cares about these filthy Eastern Euro people" but he and his team went out of their way to actually approach the victims, read several books written by people who actually lived through the disaster, that affected them and their families to make the story more authentic and respectful. Now, why can't Miss Lauren and her posse do it with a fantasy setting? Because they don't care. The only instance of "Slavic influence" (using that term very loosely) in the show is during the Striga episode when they mention a "vukodlak" which literally translates to "werewolf" so like,,, eh. It's still a werewolf, just a different version. I'm sure the writers were patting themselves on the back for including that word they found on the werewolf Wiki page. It would've been so nice to see a Slavic piece of media make it to Hollywood, but you see how that ended up. We barely get any recognition and if there is a Slavic character in a western production they're always: an assassin, gopnik, Seksi Female Spy that falls in love with the American, thief, mob boss, and I could go on. They never get the language right, because all Slavs speak botched Russian, right? All of us are named Anton, Ivan, Nikita, Natasha or Svetlana. And there are other mythical creatures besides Baba Yaga which Hollywood can't get right either. And it bleeds into the fandom too, all the modern AUs take place in the US or the UK. When other Slavic people criticize the show for its westernization they are told by westerners to shup up or they're "haters" (I do actually hate the show and the corpo bullshit Netflix is trying to pull here so,,, you can come at me all you want lol) tl;dr: The Witcher was the perfect opportunity for Slavs to have something positive in Hollywood, but it got doomed the moment it was handed to an USAmerican woman who doesn't understand the cultural influences and has zero interest in doing proper research. I probably would've forgiven her and her team if they actually tried, but they didn't. But seeing how other cultures that aren't USAmerican are being treated in movies and TV shows it shouldn't surprise me. Also I feel like I have to clarify - this has nothing to do with the actors, this is purely on the writers, the background and costume designers that put zero effort into researching the different cultures (not just Slavic, but I am Slavic so I wrote this from my perspective) that influenced The Witcher universe.