#and the wait to get on hormones | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

leo-is-a-loser · 9 months ago

Text

Fuuuuuuukkkkk my birthday is in less than i week i cant do this nooooooooooo i dont wanna get older yet i can't i shan't

#leoposting #im just upset that ive been a shut in since i was 13. that's all my teenagehood spent not doing anything #and it's only gotten worse i dont even show up at birthdays or holidays anymore it's just too much #i dont leave the house except to go to the hospital #im tryyyyiiiinnnggg to make things better but it's so harddddd...#i cant even speak my voice gets so weak when i do #and i have an important meeting coming up where I'll have yo if i want to make any progress towards transitioning at all.#it'll be like practice for the actual diagnostic process for me in a way #i guess that's one good thing about time passing.#im getting closer and closer to being able yo transition #even if that's realistically still maybe two and a half years away minimum #if you consider the wait time to be able to even be able to see anyone to get a diagnosis and then the diagnostic process itself #and the wait to get on hormones #god it's just so much waiting...#and it's only partially true that im upset about getting older #sure I've wasted a lot of my life being a friendless loser or whatever but that's just the past (and present) now and it's unchangeable #and i get to be sad about it but all i can do now is just try to get better. because time doesn't stop passing.

0 notes

wildsaltair · 3 months ago

Text

just failed the “not obsessing over Maximus for 1.42 seconds” challenge

#it’s like they made this movie specifically for me #‘‘hey let’s have maximus wash his hands with his sleeves rolled up and do a close up of his big manly hands #and he can twist his ring around and have those muscles in his wrists flex #jane will love that’’#and this right after he’s just checked on his men instead of immediately coming to celebrate with the other soldiers #precious precious precious man #don’t talk to me don’t look at me don’t think about me while i’m having an absolute meltdown over him methodically washing his hands #he can’t do ANYTHING without turning it into a targeted act of seduction for me #he’s washing his hands but i’m the one getting wet 👀#love when he does ordinary human things #so unbelievably alluring #having some mad intrusive thoughts about him washing his hands and making eye contact while i’m waiting for him in bed #sorry everyone he’s driving me completely belfrybat insane #hormones are hormoning and maximus never stops being sexy #put those hands all over me maximus PLEASE #i would get on my knees and kiss each finger and knuckle and vein and THEN I’M—#*what folllws is redacted and is between me and my husband*#gladiator #maximus #maximus decimus meridius #gladiator 2000 #russell crowe

18 notes · View notes

chewbokachoi · 24 days ago

Text

Coffee and books are about to skyrocket in price.

#boka rambles #i can't wait to see what meds are about to be come difficult if not impossible to get #the only thing stopping me from tube tying is the hormones continue and that's the issue #no thnx early menopause

12 notes · View notes

pup-pee · 7 months ago

Text

hey U yeah *U*

do u think taking hormones as a speedster works?

bc imt hinking about the logistics & then realizing idk how the logistics work so the logistics r not logisticing

#cause its either u need 2 take them every like couple of hrs or like it gets replaced rlly fast #wait hjoldon #ughhhhhh I FUCING H8 THE AI GOOGLE THING #bc i cant trust it AnAYWYAs so like mayb #im stupid #<- older tags #btw i still havent learned #anyways #cleaning out my drafts #i was thinking about jj but then i also started thinking about bart & like..... hey does this even work #smth smth do hormones get flushed out & replaced faster 4 them?#i mean nothing is logical theyre speedster iG but im just ive been thinking about htis

16 notes · View notes

pollen · 26 days ago

Text

hiiiiiiiii happy april everyone :)

#i'm still very MIA but i wanted to post #i just got a call from the endocrinologist's office because i was on a wait list to get in sooner given my appointment wasn't until july #so i'm going in today AHHHH i'm nervous. meeting a new doctor is always a bit of a stressful situation #idk i honestly don't have to convince him of anything. the reason why i'm there is because of an insanely high hormone value that indicates #a possible tumor. so!!!!!! hopefully he'll order some more labs and an MRI and i'll be on my way #today i hopefully will also find out if i need to schedule with nephrology. yay.#anywaaaay those are my updates. i hope you're all doing well!

19 notes · View notes

that-one-dark-smiley · 10 months ago

Text

Guess who has an appointment to start HRT in august

It's me. I'm starting T soon

#appointment is on august 15th #i will probably have to wait some time after they do a blood test to actually get the hormones #but either way it'll probably be less than two months from now that I'll finally start medically transitioning #trans #transgender #transgender ftm #trans ftm #transmasc #ftm #lgbtq #lgbtq community #lgbtqia #dysphoria #hrt #trans hrt

23 notes · View notes

microcosmiclymbic · 6 months ago

Text

I don't have enough for rent right now and I don't know what to do about it. Ahhhhhhhhhhhh

#micro log #micro.txt #i know i have an amount I can venmo request someone for cause I covered their purchase.#I'd just have to go over the receipt #but no spoons #and no idea if it'll be enough #fucking hell #i wish so much for things to be different #i am so exhausted by poverty #gods if i could just not worry about bills for like 1yr things could be so much different for me #i need to get foodstamps #i can just simply no longer afford to eat #UGH but applying as a independent worker you have to fill out this arcane fucking form!!!!#and there's no help unless you go to an office miles away and wait in a loud room with a long line for hours #and gods how would I even get there?????#ahhhhhhhhh #ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh #life is so hard!!!!!#not to mention the fucking appt i missed the othet day!#I'm overdue for my hormone dr #whatever thr fuck they're called #endo?#ahhhh whatever #fuck everything #and i still work so much for what 😖

9 notes · View notes

a-timely-problem · 7 months ago

Text

According to friends of mine I have a voice which could: "Sell them anything and is incredibly relaxing". As a trans guy, a double edged sword

#Trans #from #transmasc #queer #Voice #Also I am apparently very androgenous #these people haven't met me before #And they were quite unsure #I can't wait to start hormones #University #Leipzig #It went well though #Very nice people #Hoping to get to know them better #Teachers

8 notes · View notes

nonokoko13 · 1 year ago

Text

Call me Mahoro because I also think her brother is hot af Btw the plot twist in this series is that Arajin is going take his crush last name but not because of her. Sorry for the spoilers peace and love in the planet Earth

And could somebody make this Marito teddy bear real? It's a basic and essential need atp

#bucchigiri?!#/jk #look her brocon thing is weird and uncomfortable but she can be funny as hell #can you blame her for liking Marito. Look at him #his design is so cool #and so it is his personality and caring relationship with Outa and how clingy abd touchy he is to people he likes (Ara-teen)#and the nicknames are cute too #and his voice too #move Arajin is my turn #Unpopular opinion: Arajin is also good. Ik he's an ass to Matakara and it's probably completely undeserved and uncalled for but #he has some of the funniest reactions in this show. He's pathetic like a wet kicked cat waiting outside my door to let him enter #he made awful decisions and all to get laid and tbh him letting the hormones do the reasoning it's the most teenager thing ever #Most of us had been annoying af and horrible at processing information and taking hints or making important decisions #He's relatable for all the wrong reasons and he's very real for that. If you dislike/hate him I get it though. Very understandable 👍#god I wanna talk about why I think he's acting like that with his childhood friend so bad but these tags are already too much #anyway I advocate for Arateen rights and wrongs. Also for the Bucchigiri teddy bear collection #mahoro jin #arajin tomoshibi #marito jin #Mariteen #jin marito #jin mahoro #tomoshibi arajin #♡ — shut up noko #woah imagine it turns out to be true Arajin will be Arajin Jin. Wild stuff. Lmao even

30 notes · View notes

orcelito · 7 months ago

Text

Actually, on the topic of the baby fever. God it's so frustrating. Bc when I was like 14 ish I was Adamant that I never ever wanted kids. And my dad said smth around the lines of "that'll likely change" (probably from his own experience with this) and I was like NO. it WONT.

And then eventually, age 21-22 ish, I admitted that Okay, I still don't want to have my own kids, but someday maybe I'll adopt...

And Now, 27 years old, I got the general baby fever on occasion. It Did fucking change. And I don't know if I actually WILL bother with having my own kid (I still don't want to go through the hassle and massive body changes). But god. I do see a fucking baby and feel that stab of longing. It's almost like my damned hormones betrayed me or smth. Maddening!

I shall simply write fanfic about it.

#speculation nation #pregnancy ment/#honestly though i hadnt felt the wish to have my own until after my dad died #and i realized just how small our family is getting. and just felt this stab of NEED. to continue the line. continue the family.#my family's fucking dying around me i need to add to it. need more family. yknow?#so i dont actually know if this is. because of hormones or because of grief or What #but it was enough for me to put the hysterectomy idea on hold. bc id been genuinely considering it back in like. april? or so.#but then this happened and now im like. fuck dude. i dont know. but the uncertainty's enough to keep me from doing it.#yeah i dont wanna deal with periods anymore. but also. i need more time to decide.#i think no matter what i do want to raise kids someday. once im more stable (financially and emotionally)#but whether thats adoption or putting myself thru fuckin body torture. well i'll just have to decide. later.#maybe the deciding factor will be my own body aging lol. if i wait too long. my body will decide for me. who knows!#i Have thought about what id do if i got accidentally pregnant. especially relevant back when i was sleeping with a trans woman #and used to be id abort no hesitation. but well. i mean abortions illegal here anyways rn so id have to go to another state #but if i decided it i could make it work. it's not That far of a trip.#but. when i thought about it. the concern was less about the theoretical baby. and more about finishing school.#thinking 'man itd be fucking awful to finish school if i got pregnant right now'. but not. hesitating over the baby.#if i was out of school and relatively stable and i got accidentally pregnant. then. well. Maybe.#so me doing my dad vash au where he gets accidentally pregnant and goes all in with it #thats me. sorting out my feelings on it i guess. putting them somewhere.#idk. it's a lot to think about. i dont want to condemn a child to my genetic problems. but at the same time...#i dont know. To Be Decided Later.

8 notes · View notes

m1dnight-blu3 · 6 months ago

Text

someone please free me from the shackles of my ableist job so I can read my books, draw and write my silly little fics in PEACE

#i told my boss about people disrespecting me and calling me ableist slurs and she was straight up like ¯\_(ツ)_/¯#i haven't been paid yet (nearly a month now) and they still pressure me into sending my work weeks before the deadline #i can't sleep I can't have fun without thinking about whether i'm falling behind on work or not #i haven't been able to write these past week because of my work #i'm tired all the time. everyone is worried about me #if they gave me a raise maybe i could help my family w/ bills & start my hormonal therapy but they don't even pay me in the right day #i've been waiting almost 10 years to finally start hormonal therapy and at this point i'm just living for my little family and out of spite #cw: rant #vent #they say they are inclusive and love autistic people and then treat me like shit and get pissed off when I make a mistake #and then when a neurotypical person does the SAME mistake they say “oh it's fina haha” and don't yell at them like they do with me #i already quit but I have a few more weeks. I'm scared to be unemployed and embarassed. I want to help my family #but it's hard when it feels like the whole world hates people like me

5 notes · View notes

fidgetspringer · 1 year ago

Text

.

#Just heard back from my therapist and like we'd hoped we're all done with the evaluation stuff #so now I should be one physical with my GP away from a referral to the big boys in Oslo #no clue how long the wait time is to get in there #but as soon as i do i'll finally get to start the proper process that'll maybe hopefully get me on HRT #meaning that starting T is just a little over a year off if everything goes to plan and i actually get approved to start hormones #terrifying and exciting

22 notes · View notes

floral-hex · 2 months ago

Text

finally, after waiting since November, I got to see an endocrinologist today. didn’t go great. As soon as I said I was going through with surgery, he got this look on his face like I’d just told him I beat dogs with hammers. Kinda tried to scare me away from it and get me to just take meds, but he relented and said to just take the meds anyway. Listen, dude, I get you’re pissed I got my neurosurgery consult first, but that’s only because your office dragged their feet & wouldn’t see me for months. Did you think I would sit around, do nothing, and feel like shit bc I should have waited for you? You can’t show up to the end of the game and complain about how it’s played…. So anyway, I’m very grumpy today.

#I’m just… so upset with this dude #I find out I have a cyst in my head and they tell me they can’t see me for months #I get his office is busy and I’d be more accommodating of that IF he hadn’t acted like I snuck behind his back and was impatient #and then he didn’t even know my medical history before he started telling me surgery wasn’t a good idea #he hadn’t even looked at one of my MRIs. didn’t care what the MRI techs & other DRs wrote #and he has the gall to say hey you should have seen me first and just taken meds #meds which he said multiple times might not even affect the tumor!#like… he wants me to wait another 6 months on meds to see if it helps #and all the side effects are symptoms I already have #so what’s the trade off? instead of just scooping it out I get to suffer in hopes that maybe it’ll all work out #seriously. he said it might not shrink it. just deal with some of the hormonal symptoms #so I just keep this big fucker in there squishing the shit out of my pituitary? that’s your solution #believe me. I’m scared shitless of surgery. big big anxiety.#but I want it OUT. I’m tired of feeling like this. and the surgery team made me feel waaaaay better about their option than he did with his #like. the neurosurgery team was nice and patient and answered all of my questions and made me feel like I was in good hands #meanwhile the endocrinologist is slagging off neuro saying of course they want to operate and that there’s a solid chance they’ll fuck up #what a cool dude #BIG FUCKING SARCASM #I thought ‘At least he was nice’ when I left but the longer time passes after that appointment the angrier I get #fuuuuuck you dude #I was scared before but at least I felt comfortable with my team. but this guy is like ‘hmmm but what if they fuck you up huh? huh? huh?’#hey… take it from me friends… don’t get sick. just don’t do it. I don’t know why I did. dumb decision on my part 🥴#god this is so much… information. too much.#I just need to complain to everyone who’ll listen #I’ve got BIG FEELINGS and I don’t know where to put them!#you can ignore this #text

2 notes · View notes

crossbackpoke-check · 2 months ago

Text

thank you to @bhagell!! choose and then tag people you want to get to know better <3

tagging: @whitenikes @catboy-mahura @gordiemeow @songsandswords @2minutes4yeehawing (if y’all haven’t already) and anybody who wants to participate!!

#alexandra i DO blame you for showing me the bold both cross out or option because i’ve never made one decision ever. in my life #liv in the replies #thank you 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰💕💕#feeling incredibly yappy. ama tbh. also i used my powers for evil (hormonal cycle of productivity & i wrote ???k of dj harls fic INSTEAD of #literally anything else i wanted to write (chipping away at my plotless old man broadcaster yaoi. [redacted plotless o1u??]. ANY other fic)#replies will be coming tomorrow i am queuing SO many things i was catching up on wingies Content because of watching the stadium series #which OOOOOOO DON’T GET ME STARTED OKAY but anyway! anyway! it’s fine.#do i LIKE being a night owl? no i am infinitely more productive in the morning and also feel the same getting up at 4AM or 10AM so #however because i revenge bedtime myself and because it is past midnight now we’ll call it a night owl.#i do wear both silver & gold bc it’s w/e matches the outfit best… no idea which one is best for my skin tone i just have more silver rings #i have freckles!! i love both on other people though #I LOVE SNAKES AND SHARKS ARE YOU KIDDING MEE THAT’S SUCH A MEAN QUESTION TO ME PERSONALLY (has a snake) (has worked with sharks) (& snakes)#okay also sorry not sorry to do it twice in a row i did not grow up with every book of world myth to have a pick one and if i DID #I don’t think it would be either Greek or Egyptian although I do love them both very dearly #where all my lake homies at. where are all of my wetland habitat homies. i do love a good praerie though (even if i put down mountains)#am i allowed to put a note that says well i HAVE a typewriter and those are two very different vibes. it’s faster to hand write but also:#the typography aspect of it all is so important to me it is so vibes dependent. but bc I usually say my handwriting is bad (doctor script)#AGAIN WITH THE ANIMALS 😭😭😭 i feel like i have to say bee because i literally have a bee tattoo but also: i like butterflies :/#cheating to put denim and leather because I have two going out skirts and one is denim & the other is leather. also frequently I wear both #at gunpoint maybe I would say leather but I don’t know if I could give up my denim…#now why you gotta pit two bad bitches against each other with mermaids and sirens… ooo that’s a tough one (I say as if I have not struggled #to come up with an answer to HALF of these. lol. lmao even.)#wait. wait. homeboy. you can’t say that when you have an entire elaborate mermaid au hold on lmaooooo #don’t know if i have a big preference for thunder/lightning and potions/spells? just kinda picked for those

5 notes · View notes

swinging-stars-from-satellites · 2 years ago

Text

anyone else ever get struck with a sudden feeling of distaste or being tired of someone who you usually really like/are friends with for literally no reason whatsoever? or is that just me

#like this has been happening with various people all summer #I'll be like... the thought of this person causes negative emotions that are literally directed at nothing #it isn't anything the person has done I just. feel like I don't care and don't really want to put in the effort with whatever friend #which is really weird bc I KNOW if I DO just put in the effort and ignore that random feeling I'll have fun and enjoy myself!!#bc I DO still like my friends actually!!! I just sometimes feel like I Don't and idk why #Lu rambles #this is especially odd when it's the sound guy bc like. not only have I been massively crushing on him all summer #but he's also one of the few people I genuinely have clicked with here. like we get along. it's cool. I've been slightly in love with him #so why do I now have this weird feeling like I want nothing to do with him/don't care #actually I feel extremely ambivalent about just about everyone right now but for some reason especially him #wait maybe it's PMS actually.... the Leave Me Alone Don't Talk To Me Don't Look At Me Don't Make Me Show Up hormones have hit :/#...that would actually explain several things from the last couple days. I should start tracking it #ok sorry I'm done externally processing my emotions on Tumblr dot com. bye

38 notes · View notes

hotchology · 3 months ago

Text

i just rly like derek morgan

#bintalk #im not allowed to talk about things ive thought about too hard on this site because thats very vulnerable and horrifying #but im a dangerous combination of hormonal tired and very caffeinated and i keep getting very close #saving you all from the morgan think piece. just know i love himso so so so much and am always thinking about him #wait garciamaxxing

4 notes · View notes