#and the show and characters treat him as a joke

[meanbossart]

Ask Compilation: Gorp, Questionable Child Rearing, Progressive elves and some campaign lore!

As always, I apologize if your ask isn't here/ hasn't been replied to, it is unfortunately impossible for me to answer to every question I get to the extend I would like to. Occasionally I also just don't have a very interesting answer to offer 😅 and I try to avoid spamming people's feeds! But thank you so much to everyone who interacts with my stories, characters, art, and is curious about my thought process and writing! The response is frankly just as overwhelming as it is deeply appreciated, and every word of encouragement or message about how I inspired you to draw or write more of your own stories makes my day.

DU drow and Gortash had what I would describe as a "Toxic Friendship". They got along well enough, had little friend dinner-dates, drank together, superficially shared their woes in ways that benefited no one, and DU drow ultimately had a great deal of respect for Gortash - except you would have never known that by the way he treated him.

DU drow belittled, harassed, and even destroyed Gortash's property on whim alone. Every compliment was back-handed and every display of friendship was somehow sarcastic. Gortash let everything slide right off his back for reasons I like leaving obscured. Here's a particularly intense write-up I did about their relationship a long time ago that still stands. I think it serves really well to illustrate how intense DU drow could still be about his friendships.

PFFTT, I don't know why that would be a female-child only thing, but maybe that's just a colloquialism?

DU drow actually talks pretty similarly to children as he does to adults! He just doesn't set the same expectations on them. Children don't ask stupid questions because the world is still new to them, nor do their respond reasonably to everything, they also don't understand some big words or complex ideas depending on how you present it to them - he understands this and adjusts accordingly. But otherwise his tone would be the same, even with his his own child. He's that guy who's good with kids on the basis of treating them as to-be adults rather than.. Well, just a child.

The Astarion assessment is fair, LOL.

[MORE UNDER THE CUT]

(Surface) elven kind strikes me as fairly gender-indifferent overall! And while I enjoy theorizing about how their culture has shifted over the years from exposure to "urban life", for both better and worse, I like to think this is an aspect that has remained mostly unchanged, even for elves who may have had a really mixed-up upbringing from living in a city as diverse as Baldur's Gate.

I believe Astarion (and by extension Shadowheart and DU drow) are fully aware that they read as their respective genders and that for other races, such as humans, that means something; but for them that is a different custom that doesn't really apply outside of pronouns and reproductive expectations. So, I actually believe that Astarion would be pretty indifferent to life as a woman save for occasionally missing having a dick for the obvious reasons (only to then shift back and lament the opposite, probably).

ALL THE TIME!

But I know that you meant to ask if I will ever draw it.

VERY LIKELY THAT I WILL.

As a side note, thank you for showing interest and excitement for male-on-male sex that isn't just anal, LOL.

CW for the obvious, though nothing too descriptive or awful.

I understand if people disagree as a knee-jerk reaction, but I would say that Astarion's character demonstrates a shocking amount of self-control and emotional regulation. I went into this more in detail in an older post, but basically: the guy always brings himself down from his own outbursts, is exceptionally good at reading the room, is extremely forgiving and pragmatic, and knows when to send the jokes outside and respond to vulnerability in kind. I stand by this as more than a headcanon; it's in his actual writing and dialogue.

All that to say, I don't think Astarion would ever lay a violent hand on his own children. I also don't HC him as having endured corporal punishment as a child, hence not really having that instilled in his mind as a possible example to draw from.

I could see DU drow implementing physical punishments that he doesn't consider to be actually painful, like pulling, pinching, or squeezing a child while you reprehend them; things a parent might do because they think it's harmless. Astarion would probably be the one to say he's not really achieving anything - so it would likely be short-lived.

I DO think they would both be okay with setting up their children to pretty arduous physical labor, though, both as punishment and just in general to toughen them up. You could argue there's a way to do this that is reasonable, but they would prooobably push that line into dubious territory.

Buddy, WHO said low fat, what do you think the meat and taters that he's eating is swimming in!

But back to your question, he can enjoy a sweet treat every once in a while! He just far, far prefers savory. Personally, I think the guy would go crazy for a panettone. Or a big sugar-powdered crepe with some berries.

I kind of flew through the Circus in DU drow's playthrough because I was SO excited to get to Baldur's gate. They were only there long enough for DU drow to make Astarion mildly pissed off during the dryad's weird love quiz.

I also somehow missed Lucretious and never got the Dribbles quest - probably for the best.

Becoming a big ol' squid seems like a deal-breaker for his character in-game - so, same thing applies here. He'd let him down gently but potentially want a friendship for as long as DU drow is still himself.

... Buuuut it would never come to that; DU drow would most likely end his life pretty swiftly if he were to turn into a mindflayer, so Astarion wouldn't have much to worry about 😬

Alas, she pretty much never crosses his mind since he has no recollection of the type of relationship they had prior to DU drow's amnesia.

Or at least she won't as long as nothing weird ever happens that potentially jogs his memory 😇

Hello! I also love the escorts, but due to both DU Drow's and Astarion's respective attitudes towards drow and that kind of activity they didn't really hire his services. I do like to think him and his sister had a lot to gossip about as soon as they turned their backs, though, LOL.

[kraangdroidz]

I really enjoy looking at Donatello's characterisation - especially the 2012 version of Donnie.

I don't know why, but something specifically about the 2012 iteration of our favourite brothers draws me to them. Maybe it's because I think they have the most interesting and unhealthy brother dynamic to explore out of any version of the Turtles. But just to say right off the bat, I don't agree with the statement that Raphael is abusive toward Mikey in this version. I don't think this to be true at all.

But in the 2012 version of Donnie, I think it's the obsessional aspect of his character that I find interesting. People flame him hard for it - which is very valid - the way he treated April was very creepy, and some of the things he did April had no knowledge of, (Like Donnie taking a photo of her and having it as his laptop wallpaper). But I like doing a little more when it comes to characters' less-than-ideal traits. Yeah, what they're doing is bad, creepy, etc. But why exactly might they be acting that way?

For Donnie, I think his problem is how he looks.

In the 2012 iteration, we never really see the turtles have a strong desire to be human. Mikey sometimes doesn't understand that humans will be scared of him, but he never lashes out and has a big moment like, 'I want to be a human so I can make more friends!' We see Mikey wonder what he'd look like as a human in an episode after Donnie creates retromutagen - with Mikey assuming if he used retromutagen on himself he'd turn human and not back into a regular turtle.

It is played as a joke, though, and he doesn't seem genuinely upset by the fact he's stuck as a turtle, as he is seen smiling after saying he wondered what he'd look like.

Interestingly enough, Donnie is the one to be portrayed as having a negative view attached to being a mutant more than any of his brothers.

Outside of being a mutant, it is implied that Donnie already has a fragile self-image anyway.

Remember the episode Turtle Temper? I think it's the third episode of the first season. But at one point, the other turtles are instructed to shoot arrows at Raph, while Raph has to try and avoid the arrows. Splinter makes it clear, however, that Mikey, Leo, and Donnie are allowed to insult Raphael during the exercise.

I've seen another content creator say that the insults they throw at Raphael could be more them self-projecting views they have on themselves rather than them actually thinking these things about their brother. Leo says, 'And you're always whining, poor me, nobody understands me.'

While this is easily applicable to Raph as an insult from Leo - Leo does have his own fair share of moments where he has gone to Splinter complaining that the others aren't listening to him or respecting him, that they don't understand the burden he has to hold as leader.

Mikey tells Raph he moves like a bloated buffalo - which, although never hinted at in the show, could imply that maybe Mikey is insecure about how much he eats. Maybe his brothers have made comments about his greediness.

Donnie says, 'Oh! You can't keep your back straight during Omote kote Gyaku! And you're ugly!'

I think the first part is interesting as Donnie is the tallest out of his brothers - gangly limbs could mean Donnie has more difficulty knowing how to stand, how to sit, so on so forth. A lot of tall people can feel really awkward as a result of their height.

Donnie most likely is sat over a desk all day, and again, being tall, Donnie has more of a slouched posture out of his brothers. I think it was Karai that also insults Donnie in an episode by calling him scrawny, in which he responds, 'And I'm not scrawny! I'm svelte!' Svelte meaning slender and elegant.

Raph has also insulted Donnie's looks before in an episode, and again, it is unclear if this is a common occurrence, but knowing 2012 Raph's character, it's probably happened on more than one occasion.

Donnie : And why do you keep grabbing me by the face? What is wrong with my face?!

Raph: Do you want me to list the reasons alphabetically or in descending order of grossness?

So regardless of being mutated or not, it seems Donnie just has a generalised lack of confidence and some issues surrounding how tall he is.

But to his issues regarding being mutated.

Donnie might've previously not had any issues with being a mutant. Before, it might've been just a general lack of confidence, as I have already said. But in society, looks are always seen as a good trait to possess if you want to have any shot at a love life. You need to fit into the beauty standards and be attractive if you want a partner.

Before April, his brothers would've been the only thing to compare himself to. He lived in a home with only mutants for fifteen years of his life - so had normal teenager issues of going through puberty and insecurities. A lot of people can feel odd/uncomfortable and dislike their growth spurts, which is why Donnie's issues at first might seem like normal things for a teenager to worry about. Donnie's biggest issue would've been how scrawny and lanky he saw himself.

But when they meet April, there is a glaring difference.

Suddenly, there is somebody in his life who isn't a mutant like him. It becomes abundantly clear to Donnie that from somebody else's standpoint, their biggest issue with him wouldn't be his tooth gap or his height, but just the plain fact that he's so different. Inhuman. Out of the ordinary. A mutant.

When he's rambling to Timothy (Mutagen Man at this point) about why April might be on a date with some punk kid (Casey) the conclusion he resorts to is, 'Because he's human, that's why.'

At the end of the episode A Foot Too Big, when Donnie apologises to April, he says, 'I'm just... a mutant.' Again, this shows Donnie jumps to the conclusion that this is why April doesn't want to be with him, not his overbearing nature or the fact that she just genuinely might not be interested. The problem in Donnie's mind is that he's mutated.

The fact that Donnie used the word 'just' implies that being a mutant is all that Donnie has boiled himself down to. He thinks that his other traits aren't worthwhile or good - like him being funny, smart, inventive - because he thinks that nobody would pay attention to those aspects of his personality. At the end of the day, he thinks nobody will be able to see him outside of being a monster.

In Fungus Humungous, the hallucination of April that Donnie experiences calls him an 'ugly mutant freak'. It is unlikely April actually thinks this of Donnie, but it's what Donnie thinks she does because it's his biggest fear. I'd like to split Donnie's hallucination into two parts. April insulting Donnie about being a mutant, and Donnie's hallucination of April kissing Casey.

We see April kissing Casey. I think the fact that this part of the hallucination comes second is meant to represent this fear of rejection and insecurity surrounding being a mutant are two sides of the same coin. His fear of April choosing Casey is a by-product of his main insecurity. We are shown April calling Donnie an 'ugly mutant freak' first. Donnie isn't afraid to lose April as a person to Casey. He's afraid of losing his only hope at feeling confident to Casey.

In the first half of the hallucination, it shows that April uses a sharp tongue like a whip.

This tongue is shown to go through Donnie's heart and subsequently breaks it.

"To have a sharp tongue" means to be quick to criticize, speak harshly, or make cutting remarks; essentially, someone who is often unkind or sarcastic with their words.

I think this represents that, over anything, it is April's words that break his heart more than her actions. It is her disgust at him being a mutant that shatters him. It's what makes him crack in the episode. He starts screaming, runs away, and shouts that he, 'doesn't want to hear anymore.' This is Donnie's breaking point. Her sharp tongue and words, over her actions like kissing Casey, that is Donnie's true biggest fear.

Donnie doesn't want to be with April purely because he loves her. To Donnie, it would be more than April simply making a choice on who to partner up with. It would be confirmation for Donnie that the issue all along was because he's a mutant.

The point I'm trying to make is that Donnie is more obsessed with trying to improve his own self-image than he is obsessed with April as a person.

He wants to use April as a means to prove someone could love him despite appearances because, as I said earlier, looks are important to a lot of people. Gaining a romantic partner would most likely grant Donnie the confidence, the consolidation that he 'isn't ugly after all' because someone managed to fall in love with him. That is why he so desperately chases after April.

He chases after the feeling of confidence.

His character kills me.

[randomfoggytiger]

The Truth Is Out There: David Duchovny, Collaborator and Vancouver Captive

1995 David Duchovny was grimly resigned to five unexpected, grueling years in Vancouver. (Thankfully for philes-- and his pocketbook-- he stuck around and contributed heavily to the series, including the idea which connected Mulder's family to the Conspiracy.) He was also very chatty and very complainy; and, even then, tended to gravitate to lower-stakes projects that put little pressure on him (acting is, after all, something he wanted, even then, to remain "fun".)

Previous parts of Brian Lowry's Book 1 here, here, and here. Transcripts below will be fonted in italics.

BITS FROM THE BOOK

Before the [first] season began, Fox officials were clearly more effusive in praising "Brisco County" and its star, Bruce Campbell, than The X-Files. In that regard, when Grushow commented that he’d “eat my desk” if Campbell didn’t become a star, Duchovny’s competitive spirit was piqued, feeling like The X-Files was being dismissed and slighted. Carter remembers Duchovny returning from an event where Grushow made those comments and joking about serving him the condiments for that meal. The attitude, Duchovny says, was that Fox was touting the other show and treating their entry as an afterthought-- as if it were “and oh yeah, there’s this other little show called The X-Files.” 

The net effect, in fact, turned out to benefit the show on virtually every level-- creating, as Duchovny puts it, “a unique mythology for television.” The complex alien abduction/government conspiracy story that was concocted to explain Anderson’s brief hiatus actually solidified the Mulder-Scully bond, striking an extremely responsive chord with the show’s hard-core fans. As Duchovny points out, there were also parallels between Scully’s abduction and that of Mulder’s sister, giving their relationship even more emotional resonance. 

…One of those regularly contributing ideas [to the second season] is Duchovny, who’s become personally close with Carter (the two are occasional squash partners) and has shared story credit with him on certain episodes. 

The producer has no qualms about letting his star in on that process. “He’s got good ideas for the show,” notes Carter. “Why not use them?” As for Duchovny, he says that once it became apparent the show would be around for a while, he had an interest as an actor in making his character as interesting as possible to play. 

As for Duchovny, the actor had little enthusiasm about doing a television series at the time-- his feature career having taken a promising turn with "Kalifornia", which cast him opposite Brad Pitt. The X-Files turned out to be the only pilot script his manager decided to send him that year. “I read it, and I thought it was a really good story and that UFOs would get boring after three or four episodes,” Duchovny recalls. ‘I thought I could go to Vancouver for a month and get paid, and then go on and do my next movie.” 

“I love it!” Bowman proclaims as the scene ends, watching the shot through a monitor and lauding his star as “One-take Duchovny.” 

…Bowman has to deal with five actors (Anderson, Duchovny, and Gunmen Dean Haglund, Bruce Harwood, and Braidwood) in a relatively confined space, so the staging will be critical. After Bowman aligns them one way, Duchovny suggests an alternative in handling the shot, and various configurations are tried. As they begin rehearsing, everyone still seems a bit punchy, and the mood is light. Haglund keeps wanting to call a Nazi scientist “Kempler” instead of “Klemper”, and Duchovny has a hard time not laughing each time Braidwood (who comes up roughly to the actor’s chin) approaches him, with Frohike supposed to act relieved to see Mulder alive after the events that closed the second season. “Did you ever see the 'Star Trek; where Spock thought that Kirk died?” Duchovny tells him with his trademark deadpan delivery. ‘That’s what you want to be doing.” 

IN HIS OWN WORDS

…By virtue of starring in “The X-Files”, Duchovny also seems destine to have a shot at major feature-film stardom, but again, not via the precise route anyone assumed he’d follow. …Duchovny felt he was on his way and as a result had serious doubts about doing a television series. “It’s like a horse race,” he observes, enjoying a relaxed moment, clad in work shirt, boots, and jeans outside his trailer on “The X-Files” set in Vancouver. “You’ve got fifteen guys who are going to be ‘the next big thing,’ and three of those guys are going to finish.

“I was making a living,” he notes. “It seemed like I would get my shot at some point.”

Duchovny was willing to wait for his chance. He’d done some interesting features, and thanks to the vagaries of Hollywood, he knew a hit movie-- any hit movie-- would move him up to the next echelon of actors. “I always had an abiding belief that things would work out for me,” he says. “I didn’t know how. And then my manager, who was agreeing with me in that I didn’t want to do any television, sent me the script for ‘The X-Files’ because she thought it was a really good script. She read all the pilots, and that was the only one she sent me.” 

Duchovny remembers thinking he could do the pilot-- getting paid to spend a month or so in Vancouver-- and then be off to his next feature. In the midst of another 12- or 14-hour day, he can only shrug at the irony, adding with a sly grin, “It didn’t really work out that way.” 

…Prone to introspection as he is, however, Duchovny feels the weight of the expectations riding on him and wears the mantle of stardom uneasily, having found that sudden celebrity is not without its drawbacks on a personal level. 

…”Year one was just about survival-- am I physically going to survive? It’s what I imagine those triathletes feel: When you first start competing you just want to finish, then eventually you start wanting to get a good time. 

“There were many days the first year when I would just go home and think, ‘I can’t do it. I can’t go back to work anymore.’”

Although that situation didn’t ease much in terms of shooting requirements during the second season-- particularly with costar Gillian Anderson’s pregnancy compelling Duchovny to shoulder more responsibility for a time-- the actor found the show’s creative direction alone lightening the burden. “Last year I just think the work was so much better. That was kind of inspiring,” he says. 

Ever a tough critic, Duchovny felt there were some good episodes the first year and enjoyed doing something that was different from most primetime television shows. As for his contribution, he says he was “occasionally kind of happy with my work.” 

By contrast, in the second season, he believes, “we really became the best show on television,” saying he’s grateful that the series survived so its performers, writers and directors had the opportunity to mature together. The third season will be more of the same, he predicts, with trademark sarcasm, “before we slide back into mediocrity.” 

…Stardom does have some advantages, in that Duchovny has been able to add his stamp to the show creatively, providing story ideas and helping contribute to “The X-Files” mythology….

…Part of Duchovny’s goal has been to flesh out the character of Fox Mulder-- which, he points out, was understandably vague when the show began-- in order to make the part more enticing for him as a performer. “It’s definitely been exciting, just something added to my experience, in terms of being able to guide the destiny of the character,” he explains. “Because the character had no destiny. Like any TV show, you’re forced to eventually create a history for the character that it never had.” 

Once “The X-Files” had survived the initial Nielsen weeding-out process and he and Carter realized the show was going to be around for a while, Duchovny offers, “it became important to me as an actor to make that history as interesting as I could.” 

The second-season finale, entitled “Anasazi,” and revelations about Mulder’s family played out in the two opening episodes of the third season, offer such mythic highlights, exploring Mulder’s character and family history, down to his father’s role in alien experimentation. Those episodes also shed light on the abduction of Mulder’s sister, Samantha, which figured prominently in the character’s motivation….

Those episodes, he maintains, couple with earlier story arcs have “created a unique mythology for television in the character, and I’m really proud of that fact-- that I was conscious enough to say to Chris, ‘Look, I have some ideas, I want to be involved with the creation of this myth.’” 

Duchovny contends that Anderson’s pregnancy and brief absence unwittingly contributed to that emotional resonance. Having Mulder search for her echoed the loss he felt in losing his sister, while Scully’s abduction gave her an experience to draw upon-- all of which, in Duchovny’s eyes, provided “raw material to use in the future.” 

According to the actor, the depth of those episodes stands above “a kind of formula that we were drifting into the middle of last year” with stand-alone installments dealing with whatever monsters and/or paranormal phenomena the writers could dream up….

Now the show can go back and forth, delving into its mythology, then pulling back to do more standard and self-contained episodes. “The intensity’s too much, and it can get melodramatic,” Duchovny says regarding the need to break up the mythology segments, adding that the producers have achieved a “nice balance now” between the two. 

Seemingly as much of a perfectionist as Carter, Duchovny acknowledges that he occasionally bristles when he’s presented with a deluge of gobbledygook dialogue-- those sequences where Mulder launches into remarkably detailed explanations about some event or series of events from the past. “At first it was almost impossible-- it’s kind of a muscular thing,” he says. “You try and make it interesting from an acting point of view…. [But] sometimes it’s just like you memorize… and spit it out.” 

…Duchovny can be equally blunt in elaborating on his views regarding fame…. “Celebrity’s no fun,” he says flatly. 

“There’s really nothing nice about it. Celebrity is being known. It’s no fun to be known. I imagine it’s fun to be known for something good that you did, or for something noteworthy, but unfortunately the kind of celebrity television brings is monochromatic.”

…”I understand that it’s part of the territory,” he allows, “but sometimes it’s hard to be amused when you’re just trying to live your life and you don’t feel like people snickering or pointing. In this culture that we live in, everybody wants celebrity, everybody wants to be famous. If I’m going to be famous, I’d rather be famous ‘for’ something.” With a shrug of resignation, he adds, “I don’t think I have a choice at this point.” 

Duchovny’s comfort level with fame remains low. Asked the worst part about life under the microscope, he simply says, “It doesn’t leave you room to make mistakes, to do something stupid. Everything becomes kind of calculated in the worst way. You’ll have an impulse and you’ll go, ‘Can I do that? Is anybody watching me?’ It’s like being Catholic,” he quips. 

Not that Duchovny would trade in his ‘The X-Files’ experience. Far from it. “This is wonderful, and it affords me economic security” while hopefully creating the opportunity, he says, to do interesting feature-film work either after the series completes its run or during the hiatus period….

The travails of fame notwithstanding, things have certainly worked out, if not perfectly…. After all, how many people get to bring their dog to work with them? Duchovny’s pet, Blue, a well-behaved mutt with some border collie in her, is almost constantly at his side and less apt to complain than her master. “She gets excited to go in the car every morning-- much more excited than I do,” Duchovny says. “This is like her pack.” 

…Born August 7, Duchovny was so quiet growing up in Manhattan that his brother Danny, who is four years his senior, used to enjoy telling his friends David was “retarded….”

Duchovny admits to being shy as a youth, seldom dating during high school. His parents divorced when he was 11, and Duchovny has said in interviews those events may have contributed to both his drive to succeed academically and his personality, which at times can be construed as a bit standoffish…. 

In 1987, just short of gaining his Ph.D. at Yale in English (his dissertation topic was “Magic and Technology in Contemporary Poetry and Prose”), Duchovny began to truly pursue acting….

“It was never really a decision I made,” Duchovny says in hindsight. “I was doing both of them at once”-- teaching while working on his Ph.D. and acting-- “and I guess I just realized that I didn’t want to be a professor.” 

According to Duchovny, “Red Shoe Diaries” proved pivotal, allowing him to exhibit a different side of what he could do. In addition, he began to feel more comfortable as an actor, describing “The Rapture” as “a difficult experience” and “Twin Peaks” as an oddity. After appearing in low-budget films that put little pressure on him, “Red Shoe Diaries” also offered him his first leading role. “To see that I could do that was very important,” he suggests. 

In his customary manner, Duchovny would probably be the first to say the schedule associated with producing “The X-Files” is grueling and at times frustrating, but his faith in and commitment to the series’s quality pushes him along, much as he might like to grumble about the tongue-twisting dialogue and exhausting pace. As he puts it, in characteristically understated fashion, “It’s hard work to make a bad show, too.”

TRIVIA

[Duchovny meeting his girlfriend]: He was shopping for a suit (his first in many years), and asked Perrey Reeves, who had come in to shop for lingerie, which suit he should choose-- the gray one or the blue one? She told him to buy both. 

“Ice”: The Arctic-bound entry featuring a gruesome space-worm, which Duchovny has dubbed “the first really rocking episode.” David Duchovny’s own border collie, Blue, is the daughter of the dog featured in this episode. 

“The Jersey Devil”: The X-Files is filmed in Vancouver, so Mulder was not really in Atlantic City casinos. Instead, Duchovny was filmed in front of a blue-screen and stock casino footage was matted in later-- considerably cheaper than a location shoot in New Jersey would have cost. 

“Fire”: The famous “black silk boxer shorts” scene was originally a “Jockey underwear” scene….

“Genderbender”: During filming of the crime scene at the beginning of Act One, Mitch Kosterman (Det. Horton) flubbed his lines and said “chum chippy” instead of “some chippy.” For the rest of the shoot, David Duchovny joshed him about that line.  

“Miracle Man”: In an interview David Duchovny once said that he would consider Mulder Jewish until told otherwise.

“Darkness Falls”: Shooting in the forest near Vancouver, production was delayed frequently and made more difficult by heavy rains. “It was miserable,” Carter recalls, noting that the actors were soaking wet much of the time…. One saving grace was the casting of Jason Beghe…. A childhood friend of David Duchovny’s, Beghe had prodded him to pursue acting…. Having him on hand (at Duchovny’s suggestion) helped lighten the mood around the set, making the shoot something of a reunion and thus less of an ordeal for the cast. 

“One Breath”: The episode also lightly pokes fun at the show’s fans on the Internet, with one of the Lone Gunmen telling Mulder he should join them Friday in “hopping on the Internet to nitpick the scientific inaccuracies of Earth 2.” 

“Firewalker”: Gordon saw Trepkos’s obsession and the toll it exacted upon him in terms of losing someone he loved as a means of exploring the darker side of Mulder’s commitment to his search. “The natural endpoint of this quest for the truth is madness,” he notes, suggesting that Mulder’s decision to let Trepkos go at the end represents the bond in that respect between Mulder and Trepkos-- their shared ‘Heart of Darkness’. 

“Paper Clip”: …[Carter] also points to the mythic elements in Mulder being told that he has in a sense become his father-- one reason Duchovny has likened the narrative course of these three episodes to another trilogy, “Star Wars”, with a touch of “Sophie’s Choice”, perhaps, thrown in for good measure. 

BONUS

An excerpt from Brian Lowry’s second book “Trust No One: The Official Third Season Guide to The X-Files": 

Never one to settle for success, Duchovny-- who continues to play an active role in the series’s creative direction, working in concert with Carter and co-executive producer Howard Gordon on certain episodes-- is pleased with the third season but looks forward to expanding the show’s emotional range even further. Referring to one of the early second-season episodes, he notes, “I think when we did ‘Duane Barry’ the show became a really great show, and we maintained that level for a while, but we haven’t gone beyond it. I’m waiting to go beyond it. We won’t go beyond it technically, but we will go beyond it in terms of character, introducing a personal life of some kind. I think it’s inevitable. You have to do it.”

When it’s pointed out that the show’s most fervent loyalists, as well as Carter himself, have been especially vocal about not wanting to see Mulder and Scully romantically involved with anyone but each other, Duchovny simply shrugs and says the nuances he refers to don’t necessarily have to involved ‘romance’. “Give Mulder a friend. Give him a squash partner,” he suggests. “It’s got to happen. I really don’t care what anybody thinks we should or shouldn’t do.” Anderson remains more sanguine regarding such matters, though she indicates some interest as well in stretching the characters while understanding that such an evolution must occur within the show’s parameters. 

CONCLUSION

It's darkly comedic that Mr. Duchovny signed onto a (wildly successful) show thinking it would fail, only to be effectively held hostage for ten months out of twelve, 12- to 14-hours a day in a place that was completely opposite to the Cali weather he wished to sun bake in.

Also: props to him for contributing to the "domestication" of the show (more on that in future parts.) It's mind boggling just how much he contributed to The X-Files (and how much effort he put into later seasons together, despite his absence-- post here.)

Thanks for reading~

Enjoy!

[gingerteafairy]

𝐞𝐯𝐚𝐧'𝐬 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬 + 𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐮𝐬 𝐩𝐭 𝟐 masterlist

𝐥𝐮𝐤𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐨𝐩𝐞𝐫: 𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐬 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐛𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐟𝐢𝐭𝐬

Luke is immature and doesn’t take things seriously, so commitment's not his thing. He’s all about goofing off and living life easy, so he’d be drawn to someone who vibes with that. Dates? Think classic Netflix and Chill—probably with a half-empty popcorn bag and him cracking jokes the whole time. He’d talk your ear off about something dumb, like a conspiracy theory he just heard, and maybe—maybe—he’d make you breakfast in the morning. (But, like, don’t expect eggs cooked right.)

𝐣𝐢𝐦𝐦𝐲 𝐝𝐚𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠: 𝐬𝐢𝐭𝐮𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩

Jimmy is all feelings, always searching for love and acceptance—not just for himself, but for his freak show family, too. That makes a real relationship tricky. Life’s too unstable, and deep down, he’d be scared—scared that dating him would bring you the same rejection he’s faced his whole life. But damn, would it be unforgettable. He’d treat you so sweet, make you feel like the most special person in the world. And, of course, Ethel would bake your favorite cake as a welcome-to-the-family gift.

𝐜𝐨𝐨𝐩𝐞𝐫 𝐝𝐚𝐲: 𝐛𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐬

Hanging out with Cooper means a lot of quiet moments that say everything—leaning against his truck watching the sunset, sharing a meal he probably didn’t even realize he made just for you, going on aimless drives with the windows down and music low. He’d act like he doesn’t care about birthdays, but somehow, he always remembers exactly what you wanted. Maybe he wouldn’t wrap a gift, but he’d casually toss you something perfect, like your favorite snack or a well-worn hoodie of his that you once said was comfortable. If anyone messes with you? Oh, he’s absolutely stepping in—no hesitation, no questions. He might not say it out loud, but you’re family to him, and nothing is stronger than that.

𝐜𝐨𝐥𝐢𝐧 𝐳𝐚𝐛𝐞𝐥: 𝐟𝐢𝐚𝐧𝐜é

Colin is the sweetest, most hopeful guy—but his insecurity? Yeah, that’s a thing. For a while, your relationship might feel undefined, just because he’s overthinking everything. But once he realizes you truly accept him, he’d go all in—romantic gestures, little surprises, always making sure you feel loved. When he finally pops the question, it’ll be over a cozy, candlelit dinner, filled with inside jokes and that nervous smile of his. And the ring? Oh, he absolutely picked something meaningful—maybe a scarf in your favorite color or a custom coffee mug with a dumb pun just for you.

𝐭𝐨𝐝𝐝 𝐡𝐚𝐲𝐧𝐞𝐬: 𝐛𝐨𝐲𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝

Todd is a total dreamer—the kind of guy who’s off in his own world, daydreaming about cute dates with you. He’d be shy at first, but once he’s comfortable? Oh man, he’s a full-on cinnamon roll—soft, cuddly, and ridiculously sweet. Your routine would be pure cozy vibes: gaming nights, lazy mornings tangled in blankets, and deep talks about the weirdest stuff. He’d definitely gift you something adorable—maybe a plushie of your favorite cartoon character or a superhero pin that he just knew you’d love.

[aparticularbandit]

The character development that Impmon goes through over the series is just. Ugh.

[ineffably-human]

So here's my problem.

And it's not about Nandermo, not exactly anyway. Because I didn't expect Nandermo to become textual until the very end, if at all. The show kept making it clear that they liked their ambiguity to keep the relationship on the razor's edge, and Paul Simms made it clearer and clearer that for some reason (put a pin in this) he just couldn't see their connection as a sexual one.

But I frankly don't care about that, because if anything is canon in this show it's that the vampires will eventually fuck everything, and Nandor canonically fucks his other friends. More importantly, their connection was always the emotional core of both characters. And Paul always did say he saw their relationship as a romance, if a strange and non-sexual one.

So I figured we'd maybe get Nandor confessing that Guillermo meant a lot to him (and immediately walking it back a little), or Guillermo confessing how lost he feels without his vampire dream and Nandor offering him a place. Maybe an ambiguous, could-just-be-queerplatonic-partners 'I love you'. Maybe just the hug they kept teasing for three or four seasons and never got. We got like...half of two of those, in episode 10, so I guess that's a wobbly semi-fulfilled thing by my definition of it.

But it's not the Nandermo of it all. It's the Guillermo of it all. And how this final episode seemed to almost mock Guillermo's place at the emotional core of the show.

And the Guillermo of it all is why we never got the Nandermo of it all.

Shadows has vampires doing absurd-ass things, but every character also has things they want and feel, and there are various amounts of emotional ink spilled about it. The show has found space, sometimes very poignant space, to take that seriously in between the piss and sex jokes. The vampires change very slowly and in spirals, they repeat a lot of their old issues that stem back even to their mortal lives. But they always try.

And things do change in the vampire house; that is not the same household from the first season. Every single character, right down to the Baron and the Guide and Derek, are in different and better places than they were before the show began. They've made progress in their individual desires, and a lot of that is due to the improved connections they have with each other, connections we've watched them foster. A lot of the time it's because they're talked about as a found family, something Guillermo started and Guillermo believed before any of the rest of them did.

---

So where is Guillermo this season? Our human point of view, our dynamic character, the character who has a dream and wants something more than any of the others? Whose dream drives the storyline of the entire show?

Guillermo has chosen to be human, and he thinks he can't be part of the household if he's not a vampire. We watch Guillermo try to throw himself back into the human world trying to make up for lost time - to the point that he forgets the person he called his best friend, the people he called his family, in a way I think we never fully resolve. He thinks he's thriving, and he doesn't even seem upset about leaving the others behind.

We watch him revert (and that's fine, people revert sometimes) to the same waiting lapdog he was when we started the series. We watch him realize that and he says no. Nandor stands up for him, and feels better and more fulfilled in doing so, and that's a great capstone for Nandor and Nandor's own tendency for selfishness. And that's excellent. Episode 10 was a great start for all the ground they had to cover.

Nandor offers for Guillermo to be his partner in crime. His sidekick, but Guillermo expressed that desire back in season one so it's not an insult inherently. But here's the problem. Here's the part of Guillermo that has frankly always been a problem, because I thought it's something the show was eventually going to cover respectfully, and instead it was always part of the joke.

---

Guillermo is someone who made a decision sixteen years ago as part of a very young man's desire, to be respected and have cool powers, to live forever, to see the world. (He somehow thought being a vampire, and only a vampire, could get him those things but that's a rant for another time.)

That young man has grown up. He's in his mid-thirties, he has a body count. We've watched him at various times be empathetic, clever, cunning, and brave. Also extremely sexy in bodyguard gear. (And for some reason, the show keeps wanting us to forget that for a season he was extremely competent and badass and sexy pretty much all the time, and he seemed thrilled to be in that role, and he didn't even care about being a vampire if he could protect Nandor in that way and be regarded as 'part of the team'.)

Then Nandor dresses him in a stupid cowboy costume, and gives him a sidekick name ending in 'Kid', which he seems less than thrilled about. They all still talk about him the entire episode as if he's a disobedient child. The vampires speculate if Guillermo is having a fling with the crew, but no - Guillermo's had one boyfriend, who we saw him hug once and nothing more. Despite living in a house for fifteen years that is openly raunchy and shameless, he seems like a character designed to be both desexed and humiliated, and they never expand on the reason why.

(And if Guillermo were ace it'd be amazing, hell it's my headcanon at this point, but I don't think that's what they're going for. I think the show just desexualizes Guilermo. As a matter of praxis. For some reason.)

And the show has done this more and more to Guillermo in the later seasons. Nandor says he could steal original!Freddie easily from Guillermo if he wanted to. The vampires laugh at the thought of him being a vampire - "a little bat pooping everywhere," and Guillermo's time as a vampire has him basically feeling no different in his sexuality or, after a very brief moment, his confidence. Even Nandor's big climactic moment in Episode 10 has him saying that just because Guillermo isn't as cool or hot or interesting or strong as Jordan (or Nandor) doesn't mean Guillermo deserves to be treated poorly.

Look, I don't know if it's because Harvey Guillen is babyfaced, or because he's fat, or because he carries a different energy to his masculinity. Or because it's great to talk about gay sex and being horny, but writing a gay relationship is just too hard. Or some fun combination of all those things.

But I keep thinking about everyone freaking out when Nandor swooped into the collapsed floorboards to save Guillermo in season 4, and everyone freaked out and swooned. And Paul Simms expressed that as "[Nandor] has to save his little buddy."

Guillermo is a grown-ass man, with a desire to feel powerful and special and accepted, who Nandor sees as his little buddy. (Who everyone in the house sees as their little buddy, and it's nice he's part of the family, but...) After every emotional beat that makes them seem like equals with a special connection, he reverts to the less-cool sidekick who makes Nandor feel special and important. And Guillermo's prior devotion to Nandor - not to vampirism, not to a job or promotion, to Nandor - changes to other things, but Nandor never figures out why that hurts him so much. And for some reason the deepest bond of the series just isn't sexual, the showrunner just can't see it that way, in a house where everyone's fucking but not you Guillermo.

We're at the end of the story, and that's our punchline.

---

And we don't end on one of the points where Guillermo is asserting himself as someone who deserves to be taken seriously, and given the things he wants - and the show has had plenty of those moments, all of which seem to be building and evolving his relationships over the years.

We end on Guillermo being told that suddenly, the documentary is packing up without any fanfare or clarity on what they were looking for in the first place. We get Guillermo stumbling for clarity on what it all meant, what the point was for him and what his life is going to be now. We're told over and over again the documentary (and Guillermo, and the viewers) needs a satisfying capstone, needs emotional closure.

And the vampires tell him to shut up. And they tell him this has all happened before, and none of it is special to them. ("No human is special," Nandor said several episodes ago, and never went back on it.) And they tell him to do a little dance for their amusement, and Colin recites some pithy lines. And every attempt to take a moment to care about Guillermo's journey, or the core of his character and what he needs, is turned into a joke for him and for us.

Guillermo's looking for a point to it all, for some kind of fulfillment, and there wasn't one. And everyone is satisfied in that but him. And even if there were times Guillermo got the chance to be respected, to have cool powers (which he kept, but the vampires keep forgetting them), to live forever (he will die and leave Nandor someday!), to see the world - none of these things are going to come to him now.

It would make absolute, complete, and devastating sense for Guillermo to feel he's outgrown them and to leave. Nandor doesn't even seem upset enough to try and stop him. We never really get a clear reason about why he decides to stay.

I mean, it's for friendship or something, with a line about how they can still be close but he needs 'his own thing'. But in six seasons, over and over and over, we've been driven back to the idea that the most emotional part of this story is Guillermo's desire to become accepted in this family, and the effect he has on Nandor. That Guillermo needs this home and he consistently makes Nandor softer, kinder, less selfish and more fulfilled when they're together.

But those parts of their relationship, the love story parts, don't matter. Guillermo is going to find 'his own thing' when it's been clear how entrenched in this world he is (right down to his DNA), but Nandor will drag him back into shenanigans anyway, probably keeping Guillermo from whatever 'his own thing' is.

And Guillermo will always be Nandor's sidekick, his little buddy, never to be taken seriously. And one day, Guillermo will die, and he'll be someone they all forget. And for some reason, he'll be just fine with that, because he belongs with them but will never really be in a better position.

And he'll be satisfied with that. For some reason. But I won't.

[tsukasalover]

I can think of a lot of reasons why I like and have gotten attached to tsukasa more than any other fictional character and i think if i had to keep it simple (or else id be rambling for hours) id say

1. He’s so interesting. I usually pick up the extremely mischaracterized blonde characters anyways but he gets my brain working real hard. its almost 2am and i cant think straight but theres something about his duality that keeps me glued to him and the amount of Layers he has and how removing even one layer or completely ignoring how both his huge ego and kindness + selflessness coexist can really mess up your perception of him. There was something quite short i wrote about how both sides make him. Well. Him. back when his colofes dropped since i was so annoyed at the people Not getting it (while most never even read the STORIES 😁) anf ive been screaming this for a year now Please. Also the way his dream and being a good big brother go hand in hand have captured me. I really like fictional siblings and they fill something personal i miss and Looove looking at the roots of characters. Discovering where this and that and connecting events to what started their behaviors or helped their personality bloom. So seeing saki and toya play such an important role in his life keeps me HOOOKEDDD. I took the bait like tiny fish. Dont regret it. Never will. I like my fictional characters like layered cake. Thats basically how i see them. I had a yummy chocolate cake with so mant layers the other day 🤤 but anyways. I also really like when characters have to learn and grow as people after making really bad mistakes or being straight up assholes so it really took a while even after mainstory but once i got to see more of him with saki and read dazzling i was like. This is the guyyy. Youre mine now lets go. I dont like perfect characters but.. you see.. when characters who have (sometimes way too much) confidence and are dramatic yet are shown to truly be good people who enjoy making others happy… alright.. now im listening… Sign me up…

But really he has almost everything I’ve ever looked for in a character. Starting with the fact that he’s a theatre kid. And blonde. Of course emu nene and rui + more fictional characters have made their way into my heart and ive gotten attached to them on very Very personal levels but when it comes to this Idiot who wants to be a star and reminds me of a dog its something that i dont even know how to explain sometimes. Why is he here? What are you doing inside of my head. Ill never have one solid answer because he takes up too much space in my mind and i become incoherent too often when talking about him.

2. Ignoring my first answer, He is ugly. My favorite punching bag. Cartoon character. Begins floating when he smells pie. I dont know anymore

3. he just like me fr (Which is terrible i dont like that)

[macchiatosdumptruck]

Full on believe that the writers made chozen go back to Okinawa before the whole Johnny and Daniel argument because they knew that Johnny wouldn’t even have been able to finsh that sentence about mr miyagi being a liar and theif if chozen was there because chozen would have kicked his ass right there wouldn’t even let Johnny get the sentence out

And I also believe that he definitely would have went after Tory and helped her calm down or calm everyone down and let them take a break and definitely he would have agreed with Daniel and Amanda about stopping the fight

Dude, I hadn't thought about it but you're not wrong.

Like. They (thought they) needed that conflict to happen. (For some reason) And it wasn't going to if they had given a shit about character growth. Chozen very much was a steadying presence between Daniel and Johnny. He was Daniel's ride or die. He wouldn't have let that stand. Not only because it was stupid to fight, but also due to the blatant disrespect tbh. He has shown clearly he stands up for Daniel and miyagi do above all else.

I feel like he got the same treatment a girlfriend gets? Oh, the plot would be simpler with them involved, get them out of there. And like, where in the world is Carmen Diaz because she has so been reduced to a lamp. (And would probably give him a piece of her mind, which she never used to be afraid to do in the first two seasons. But i guess if you're in a relationship with someone you're not allowed to disagree) Like, for a while he was "confused but got the spirit" about other cultures, but as with everything else to do with Johnny's character they seemed to walk that back for some reason?

Literally, Mr zabka. I am so sorry they did this to you. They nerfed you hard.

Re, the thief comment, I still can't believe that made it in the show. That's an entire new level of disrespect. I know I'm using that word a lot but it fits. It's not just shoddy writing or bad character development, but feels legitimately mean spirited as a sort of "take that" to the original trilogy and its themes.

Which they obviously had to take some offense to given they were still caught up on it 30 years later, enough to write their own fanfic about it from their own POV. But it seemed more fair and even in the first two seasons before a lot of, what seems like petty dislike, came out through the show. Which also happened to coincide with COVID and a new wave of fans who Didn't Get It. And I do think them taking away all of Johnny's development was a way of appeasing those "he's so cool because he's un PC" fans

I still can't get over how the show seemingly turned into the antithesis of the movies. How there was so much promise and character growth only to throw it away for a bigger budget, more fight scenes, and memes.

R.i.p Chozen. You got written off because you made too much sense. I'm sure there's a specific name for that type of trope, like fridging.

[rainyraisin]

I think Gerald Robotnik is the perfect example of how sympathetic doesn't mean forgivable and I havent seen a single person talk about it

[kismetconstellations]

Amongst the myriad ways the Voltron: Legendary Defender writers failed spectacularly, is the unintentionally humorous example of Shiro's supposed future husband, "Curtis", having more chemistry with Acxa, in the form of an actual conversation he initiates with the intention of learning personal information about her.

"What about you, Acxa? Did you have pets where you're from?"

"I never had a creature companion. But, one of my partners, Narti, was bonded to an immortal cat named Kova.

That cat gave her the ability to experience the world."

"Oh. That's... 'great'."

This is more than he has with Shiro in the entire thirteen episode season, wherein their interactions are limited exclusively to shouting impersonal commands at each other in the heat of battle.

[secretsofthewilde]

Doing a rewatch of Lost with my friend and we've decided that starting now (episode 18, season 1) we're going to rate how tolerable Jack and John are in each episode – as for some ungodly reason Jack manages to set my blood boiling most episodes and John often pisses her off (more so in the later seasons though obviously)

Of course though the day we decide to start this is when we're watching the Hurley centric episode, so both Jack and John are barely in the episode and the moments they are in are actually really nice. So they've managed to start out really strong with a 10/10 each for this ep

[10hourshift]

Still thinking about Bonnie (tragic)

[enlichened]

The thing thats consistently bothered me the most in the fallout show is the racism. I would hesitate to recommend it because of that alone. And there was obvious love that the set and prop designers, actors, costume department, and even maybe the writers put into the show! There are themes and characters in fallout that i'm certain would resonate with fans of color!

It KILLS me that so many of the fallout entries are damn well unplayable/watchable in this regard because the writers simply Don't Care how the people in their work are presented. That this like hugely popular world with a lot of worldbuilding and thought behind it does such wrong to so many people, fans and otherwise, that you cannot find any game in the series that does it right or well. It alienates a lot of people who might've been fans just because the majority white creators and fanbase don't give a shit, and I'm sick of it.

it's not enough to say "in the fallout in my head that racism doesn't happen," you actually have to put some things into PRACTICE. Allow space in your head, your games/show, your fan spaces for people of color! notice and say something when you see racism coming from media, yourself, and others!

[swiftfootedachilles]

trevor saying "this is about you loving all the attention" ........uh. well yeah obviously...... did you miss the part where ian was abused and neglected growing up? do you expect him to hate the attention he got? i need you to be so fr trevor

[opheliasam]

I think kripke should be in extensive therapy and i personally don’t want jared on that set i just hope things work out for the best however.

[archgabrielangel]

I'm honestly dreading the possibility of a Titans Curse season. not only bc disney sucks absolute booty cheek but because of how I KNOW some of yall will treat the kid who gets casts as nico di angelo