#and the hurt and pain and suffering is so vivid you can feel it

[amberinn]

Hmmmmmmmm............

3rd life ending: favourite

Double life

Secret Life

Wild life

Sigh. Limited life

Last life

(Real life)

[cumironi]

SLIPPING THROUGH MY FINGERS: GOJO SATORU, GETO SUGURU

“suguru, help!” he sounds, pathetic. gojo satoru is a pathetic man when it comes to you. “ . . . there are so many kisses to have, soul and bone for you to crash and swear that how stars are born, so please. . ., believe me, you have to believe me,” he cries, holding your hands, begging for you to love him— love him enough to stay.

warning : age-up! satosugu, depressed! fem x reader, drug mention, trauma mention, suicide, self-harm, death mention, drowning, blood, heavy angst.

w/c : 6,2k | [☆] MASTERLIST

𝜗𝜚 . . . . i had to stop so often writing this because i can't stop crying and think that i shouldn't continue because it hurts me so bad that i have to take a cold shower and think about my life. and honestly, i wasn't supposed to write the last part but yeah..

A MINUTES AFTER YOU TRY TO KILL YOURSELF

it was too quiet. . .

gojo satoru never screams so loud in his entire life, so loud. . . the world shaking beneath his feet, ready to swallow him whole and rotten. so loud . . . he sure he can no longer hear. he ran, slipping on his way until he broke his knee on the puddle of the red, transparent liquid that spill from the bath-up.

the starling sigh, you were there. . .

“no, no, no, baby— no.”

the water, tinged with a haunting crimson, surged and overflowed, cascading into the bathroom with relentless force. it climbed steadily up gojo's legs, as if the liquid itself sought to ensnare him, to drag him down into its suffocating embrace, or just. . . mock him.

a dark mockery that seemed to whisper that it alone held the power to drown him, to swallow your trembling breaths and the last echoes of your voice. it wasn’t him, or geto suguru who was to be your executioner, but the merciless water, eager to claim your final, stutter breath.

“i-i —sorry, i’m sorry..” you stammered.

your voice stammered between choke, barely a murmur beneath the frothy waves, struggled to be heard amidst the tumult. your eyes, devoid of warmth, reflected a chilling detachment. the coldness in your gaze was almost tangible, a stark contrast to the chaotic, drowning world around you.

“suguru, help!” he sounds, pathetic.

gojo, even on the verge of your death is still so gentle, as if he's afraid you are going to die than you already are. dropping on his knees as he tries to pull your warm bodies out of the bath-up.

gojo shook his head, a soft whisper escaping from his trembling lips, “shhh, it's alright baby, it's alright, you're alright,” his mumble, each word a fragile promise against the storm of his own emotions— words and voice shaking, his bones and soul shivering. his strong arm wraps around your body, pulling you closer to his chest, feeling everything, even as his flesh trembling.

tears cascaded from the corner of your eyes, tracing silken paths down your skin, while his embrace, though trembling, sought to cradle and calm you, a sanctuary against the turbulence of your anguish.

“suguru, please help!” again, this time he shouted.

geto runs upon hearing the horror howling, and his purple irises about to peel from his face and his lungs lose air— ragged gasps, as if each inhale were stolen from him. the scene before him struck with a painful clarity: you nestled within gojo’s embrace, your body wracked with distress.

foaming at the mouth, you appeared trapped in a tormenting grip of anguish, while the open scars on your wrist bled stories of suffering and desperation. in that moment, the sight was both heart-wrenching and surreal, a vivid tableau of fear and pain, painted across the canvas of his deepest fears.

“i'm sorry— i-i'm so sorry,” you whisper between choking gasps as geto kneels beside you and your body shaking. tears cascade uncontrollably, each dropping a shimmering testament to a sudden, overwhelming regret. it is as though a profound realization has swept over you, too late to mend the wounds that have been inflicted.

the regret feels like a bitter aftertaste of the sorrow you can no longer escape. the eyes of those around you, trembling with the weight of their own anguish, are bloodshot and haunting, mirroring the crimson that flows from your wrist. in that agonizing moment, the world feels irrevocably broken, and the fleeting desire to be alive seems like a distant, unreachable dream.

they burst from the bathroom, gojo's arms wrapped tightly around you as he dashes through the chaos. your lifeless feet and hands dangle, a heavy, haunting reminder of the blood seeping steadily onto the floor. each drop forms a macabre trail, like the relentless shadow of death that clings to you, a grim companion refusing to let go.

the crimson stains splatter and pool in your wake, an anguished testament to the finality that now seems inevitable— each red stain on the ground is a haunting reminder, a stark declaration. as they run, the blood's mournful descent weaves a sorrowful narrative of moments slipping away, each drop a poignant echo of what might have been, a stark and unyielding declaration that time has run out, that it is too late.

and suddenly, everything feels like a slow motion.

6 HOUR AFTER YOU TRY TO KILL YOURSELF

the doctor spoke with a grave tone, his words laced with concern. “it appears,” he began, looking at gojo who's just sitting there with his eyes focusing on the floor, meanwhile geto standing beside him. “that she intentionally tried to overdose. we've had to act swiftly to pump the substances from her body, working to counteract the severe effects of her actions.”

geto's hand gently gripping on gojo's shoulder as they listen. his expression was one of solemn seriousness, reflecting the urgency and gravity of the situation. “we've done everything we can to stabilize her, but it's crucial that you two understand the seriousness of what she has done. this was a life-threatening situation, and we're only beginning to address the underlying issues that led to this crisis.”

the doctor continued, his voice carrying a mix of relief and concern. “fortunately, the cut on her wrist wasn't too deep,” he said, his eyes scanning the notes before them. “it seems that the severity of the injury was somewhat mitigated by her weakened state from the drugs. if she had been stronger, the outcome might have been different.”

his tone softened, acknowledging the fragile balance between the danger of the overdose and the mitigating effects of your physical condition. “we've managed to address the immediate threats, but it's crucial to understand that this is a serious wake-up call. we need to work on her recovery and the emotional struggles that led to this moment.”

if she had been stronger, the outcome might have been different,’ the words echoed repeatedly, hauntingly through the air, like a broken record stuck on a painful refrain. once, twice, three times, they reverberated through their minds, each repetition a stark reminder of how close they came to losing you, how dangerously close the edge of despair was.

even the notion of ‘almost’ carried a weight too immense to bear, a heavy presence that pressed down on their hearts. the silence that followed was thick with unspoken guilt and anguish; none of them could find the words to bridge the chasm of their shared grief. they avoided each other's gaze, unable to escape the silent blame that hung heavy between them, a suffocating testament to their collective sense of failure.

gojo stared at his hands through the thin veil of his blindfold, his fingers trembling as they traced the dried blood staining his pale skin. the sight of it was a brutal reminder of you. with a strained effort, he clenched his hands tightly, hoping to meld the dried blood with his own, as if to erase the haunting evidence of what had transpired— his last hope trying to be with you.

each breath felt like a desperate gasp, a small gap forming between his lips as he struggled to draw in air. the sensation of suffocation gripped him, a relentless pressure squeezing his chest, making each inhale a battle. despite his efforts, the air seemed insufficient, leaving him feeling as though he were on the precipice of life, teetering on the brink of an abyss that threatened to swallow him whole.

geto felt an overwhelming tide of guilt and anguish, a heavy weight pressing down on his heart. the scene that unfolded before him replayed in his mind like a relentless, agonizing loop, hunting him down like he is some kind of a fucking prey. he was haunted by the sight of your suffering, the image of your blood-streaked hands and the anguished cries that pierced the air. each moment of his own reflection, seeing the remnants of your blood on his skin and his white shirt, deepened his torment.

the sense of responsibility gnawed at him, a constant reminder of how close he came to losing you. he felt suffocated by a profound sorrow and helplessness, as if the very air around him was too thick, leaving him gasping for breath— like the death itself pointing its ugly fucking finger to his face and laugh at him, at them.

what a fucking pathetic man’ the death must be said.

the weight of the situation settled heavily on his shoulders, and the silence between him and his companions only amplified his inner turmoil. the unspoken blame and the aching realization that he couldn't undo what had happened created a chasm of despair within him, making each moment feel like an eternity of unbearable remorse.

both of them are buried in profound sea of grief, guilt, shame because a thousand moments with you that they take for granted— shame, for thinking, assume that there would be a thousand more. is it too selfish to be here?’ they thought.

that curse must be laughing at them, the higher-ups, everyone— pointing their finger from all directions. look at them, ’ they thought, those two who called themselves the strongest can even save a single soul,’ again they must be laughing, let alone a soul who is to be called the love of their life.

but nobody knows, none, not even a single soul that, oh, how your presence evokes such selflessness in them— even amid their silent, tormented reflections. they are consumed by an incessant questioning of the selfishness of their own sorrow, wondering if it is wrong to cling to their grief while you teeter on the precipice of loss.

the haunting thought persists, a cruel reminder of time's fragile nature and the profound depth of their remorse. in their heartache, they are acutely aware of the contrast between their own suffering and the delicate balance of your existence, each moment of their anguish a poignant testament to the sorrow they feel for having taken so much for granted.

is it okay to feel sad? ’ they thought.

even the very sensation of sadness and grief feels like an indulgence they do not deserve. i can't even protect her, what rights do i fucking deserve to be sad?’ they thought. to them, these emotions seem an opulent luxury, an extravagant gift they are not entitled to. in their hearts, the depth of their sorrow feels almost excessive, a poignant reminder of how their suffering pales in comparison to the magnitude of the almost loss they face.

each wave of grief feels like a grand, unwelcome opulence, an unjust reward for the pain they have caused and the moments they have squandered. the luxury of their sadness seems a cruel irony, a stark contrast to the profound emptiness of the reality they must now confront.

people passing by in front of them, throwing them a glance or two. seeing their red eyes and tears-stain cheeks, blood in their hands, in shirts, in pants, in their soul, laid bare. everyone wants to give them both a pat on the back, telling them that they are good at handling grief; howling, crying, and blaming each other. that's the proper way to handle grief.

18 HOUR AFTER YOU TRY TO KILL YOURSELF

your hands are warm, a stark contrast to the pallor of your pink lips, which have lost their vibrant hue, your eyes open still so retain their gentle softness, a quiet testament to the grace you still hold.

as you lie upon the hospital bed, draped in the drab, floral-patterned gown that clings to you, it feels woefully inadequate. the gown, mundane and worn, seems too insipid and shabby to encompass your beauty, too faded and forlorn.

“i'm sorry. . .” you mumble.

you can’t bring yourself to look at them as they sit beside your bed, their eyes red and swollen from sleepless nights, their uniforms crumpled and disheveled, their hair falling in untamed disarray. their faces have lost their vibrant hue, a stark contrast to their usual vitality.

gojo satoru’s once-brilliant blue eyes, which used to shimmer with an unyielding light, now seem dull and lifeless, even when the golden sunlight spills over them. the sunlight, which once might have enhanced the beauty of his gaze with its warm orange tones, now only serves to highlight the emptiness that has replaced his once-sparkling eyes— it's dull, it's dull, it is fucking dull.

geto suguru's strikingly handsome face is graced with a smile, tender and achingly gentle, as though he is pouring all his effort into offering you a sliver of solace. his lips tremble with a subtle quiver, betraying the deep sadness that lingers beneath his calm exterior. his once-vibrant purple irises have dimmed, their former brilliance faded to a shadow of their former selves.

you fear that they might darken further, losing their hue altogether, slipping into a void of despair where even color seems to vanish. the sight of his sorrowful eyes, so devoid of their usual spark, reflects a profound sadness that pierces the heart, a silent testament to the emotional toll of the moment.

oh, what i have done. . .’ you thought.

“don't, please don't,” gojo pleads, his voice trembling as he clasps your unharmed hand with a desperate grip. his blindfold has been removed, revealing eyes that are filled with raw, unfiltered emotion as he gazes at you. beside him, geto's hand rests gently at the back of your head, his touch tender and soothing. he caresses your hair with a featherlight motion, his thumb brushing softly over your scalp.

“we are so sorry for taking you for granted,” he murmurs, the words heavy with regret and sorrow. “we are sorry for offering you only a lukewarm love, when you deserved a love that was fierce and all-consuming, a love that burned brightly and fiercely. i'm sorry,” his voice wavers, each word an echo of their deep remorse, as they both grapple with the weight of their unspoken apologies and the profound realization of what they failed to give you.

they do not seek to question why your soul bleeds, nor do they dare to unravel the dark tapestry of your pain. the blood, flowing with a steady, silent, and disturbingly deliberate pace, engulfs you in its relentless embrace. it seeps into every corner of your being, a somber tide that threatens to consume you entirely.

they find themselves unable to confront this harrowing reality, their hearts too burdened to bear the weight of such a painful inquiry. the sight of your suffering leaves them paralyzed, unable to utter the questions that linger in their minds, as they grapple with the profound helplessness of watching you slowly succumb to the encroaching shadows.

“i love you, baby,” gojo whispers, “i'm sorry that you're in so much pain so to think death is the only salvation,” he stopped for a second, cocooning your hand with his large one before resting his cheek against. “i'm sorry i didn't notice your rage for the world and too busy loving you. does my love scare you, love? that's why you decided to leave, hm?” his voice shaking, lips quivering.

“if you are angry, stab me a little so you can feel better, make it hurt, i don't care. a little suffering would be worth it if it's by your hands, by your pretty little hands,” he murmured against your skin, his breath a warm whisper that sent shivers across your body. each word was a soft plea, wrapped in a tone that trembled with both desperation and tenderness.

his trembling lips pressed gently against your hand, each kissing a fleeting starburst of warmth against your cool skin. him— no they, stood ready to endure your pain, inviting you to inflict upon them the hurt you felt.

they stand poised to let you sink your teeth into them, to delve into their very flesh. to let you open them up, laid bare and vulnerable, just to offer you a chance to heal. just so they can love you a little too much, starving even— like a flesh begging to be knitting together over a wound. ruin me, ruin us, and we will let you.

“i love you, i love you, i love you,” he gave you stars in each between. they fucking love you like a rotten dog. “believe me when i said this. . . there are so many kisses to have, soul and bone for you to crash and swear that how stars are born, so please. . ., believe me, you have to believe me,” he cries, holding your hands, begging for you to love him— love him enough to stay, “we love you.”

he finally said we’ geto thought.

at first glance, people might assume that geto suguru’s love for you surpasses that of gojo satoru, that his love is somehow greater. yet, the truth remains that it has always been gojo satoru who harbors the most profound and boundless love for you from the very beginning. his love is vast, immense, and utterly astonishing, stretching beyond the horizons of understanding.

gojo’s devotion is a vast expanse, a love so deep and wide that it seems to defy the very limits of emotion. even geto suguru, who himself is capable of immense love, finds himself awestruck and somewhat intimidated by the sheer magnitude of gojo’s feelings. no one can truly grasp the depth of gojo’s love—not even gojo himself—such is the overwhelming, almost incomprehensible nature of his heart’s boundless devotion to you.

and sometimes it scares the shit out of geto.

but maybe, just maybe, they have a little too much love for you more than for each other, even more than for themselves— as if you make a space in their ribs, and call it home country.

30 HOUR AFTER YOU TRY TO KILL YOURSELF

geto stirred from a restless sleep, his head resting gently against your hospital bed, nestled close to your side. as he slowly opened his eyes, he was met with the soft, gentle sight of you gazing at him, a faint, tender smile gracing your lips. the serene moment, bathed in the quiet of the hospital room, brought a flicker of warmth to his weary heart, a small but profound comfort amid the lingering shadows of their shared sorrow.

“hey sunshine,” geto whispered in a hoarse croak, reaching a hand to brush your hair away from your face, “how long have you been awake?”

“long enough to notice the dark circles under your eyes and the tear stains on your cheeks,” you replied softly, your fingers brushing gently against his cheek, your thumb tenderly caressing the worn skin. geto hummed, his hand capturing yours and guiding your palm to his lips, where he planted a gentle kiss.

the touch of your skin was like a salve, soothing the ache in his weary soul. he chuckled weakly. his eyes were tired and his skin pale, but your touch made him feel alive. “you’re too observant for your own good,” he teased, his lips curving into a weary smile.

geto shifted in his chair, wincing slightly as his body protested the movement. he settled into a more comfortable position, still holding your hand in his, his thumb tracing soothing circles on the back of your knuckles.

he studied your face, taking in every detail, from the delicate flutter of your eyelashes to the subtle flush in your cheeks. the sight of you, even in this vulnerable state, filled his heart with a mixture of tenderness and protectiveness.

“how are you feeling?” he asked, his voice low and gentle, his gaze fixed on your face. he knew it was a question he had asked before, but he couldn’t help himself. he needed to hear you speak, hear your voice, just to reassure himself that you were still with him.

“like shit,” you answer.

your hand is still gently cupping his cheek, thumb running low across his skin in a loving manner. at your blunt response, geto's lip curled into a soft smile. even in your weakened state, you still had a defiant spark.

he leaned into your touch, his eyes closing briefly as he savored the sensation. “i thought we agreed no profanity,” he teased, his voice laced with affectionate humor, opening his eyes to meet your gaze. he turned his head slightly, his lips brushing against the palm of your hand in a tender kiss.

“you’ve always been a bad influence on me,” he murmured against your skin, his breath warm and ticklish. he chuckled softly, his eyes softening as he studied your face.

he took a moment to compose his words, his expression growing serious. “there was a moment,” he began, his voice a hoarse whisper, “a moment when i thought i lost you.”

your smile faltered, and your eyes softened with concern as you listened to the gravity in his voice. you reached up to gently touch his cheek again, your thumb brushing away the remnants of his sadness.

“i’m here now,” you whispered, your voice steady but filled with warmth. “you haven’t lost me.” you looked deeply into his eyes, trying to convey with your gaze the depth of your presence and the promise of your unwavering support. “and i’m not going anywhere,” you added softly, hoping to soothe the lingering fear in his heart.

his hand covers yours, holding it against his cheek as he closes his eyes, relishing in your soothing touch. for a moment, he just allows himself to bask in your presence, letting the warmth and comfort wash over him.

“i was afraid i wouldn’t get to hear you say that,” he murmured, his voice growing thicker with emotion. he opened his eyes, the raw vulnerability in his gaze bared to you, his heart laid bare.

your heart ached at the sight of his vulnerability. you gently squeezed his hand, your voice trembling with sincerity as you spoke. “i’m so sorry,” you said softly, your eyes filled with compassion.

geto’s thumb traced gentle, small circles on the back of your hand. “you have nothing to apologize for,” he assured you, his grip on your hand tightening slightly. “it was my responsibility to keep you safe, and i failed.”

the guilt and regret in his voice were palpable, the weight of his self-imposed responsibility clear. he lowered his gaze, wrestling with emotions that were etched deeply into every line of his weary face.

he lifted your hand from his cheek, bringing it to his lips and pressing a lingering kiss against your knuckles, his gaze never leaving yours. “i just need you to know how much you mean to me,” he added, his voice cracking slightly. his grip on your hand tightened, as if he was holding onto you for dear life.

geto’s lips continued to brush against your knuckles as he spoke, soft and gentle. his eyes held yours captive, the depth of his affection bared for you to see.

“you are my everything,” he confessed, his voice hoarse with the weight of his honesty. “the thought of losing you, of living in a world where you don’t exist…” he trailed off, a pained expression crossing his features. he was torn between the love that engulfed his heart and the fear that threatened to consume him.

geto drew in a shaky breath, composing himself as best he could. he lifted his gaze from your hand, meeting your eyes once again. his expression held a mixture of love and devotion, but also a hint of desperation.

“i need you to know that no matter what, i will do everything in my power to protect you,” he vowed, his voice steady despite the turbulent emotions raging within him. “not just because it’s my duty, but because i love you more than i thought it was possible to love someone.”

you met his gaze with a warm, reassuring smile, the depth of your gratitude shining through. “thank you,” you said softly, your voice imbued with genuine appreciation. your smile was a reflection of the profound comfort and reassurance you felt, a silent promise to stand together through whatever lay ahead.

geto’s eyes softened at your smile, a flicker of relief passing over his weary face. he squeezed your hand gently, his touch both appreciative and protective.

he studied your face for a moment, his gaze lingering on each contour, each freckle and line, as if to further commit them to memory. “don’t scare me like that again,” he murmured, mostly in jest, but with an underlying current of seriousness.

gojo entered the room, his expression a mix of relief and lingering concern as he carried a bag of your belongings. upon seeing the tender moment between you and geto, his eyes softened, though they carried a hint of the exhaustion and worry that had shadowed him. he set the bag down and approached, took a sit at the edge on the other side of your bed, his voice catching slightly as he spoke.

“don’t scare me like that again too,” he said, his tone gentle but tinged with the weight of his emotions. his gaze met yours with a blend of earnestness and relief. “i know suguru’s been holding on tight, but i’ve been right here, too. seeing you like this... it’s been hard on all of us. please, don't leave us.” his words were a heartfelt plea, an echo of the concern and love he carried for you, a testament to the depth of his feelings and the strength of his devotion.

geto’s grip on your hand tightened momentarily at the sound of gojo’s voice, his eyes darting towards his best friend. he could hear the exhaustion and worry that laced gojo’s words and knew all-too-well the weight of the responsibility they shared.

he turned his gaze back to you, his expression a mix of worry and relief. his thumb resumed its gentle, soothing circles on the back of your hand. “yeah,” he said in agreement, his voice gruff with emotion. “please, don’t scare us like that again.”

gojo’s presence brought with it a sense of familiarity, a comfort that was both grounding and reassuring. he reached out and placed a gentle hand on your arm, his touch a silent expression of his affection and concern.

he studied your face, his eyes tracing every contour, every line, as if to commit the sight to memory. “how are you feeling?” he asked, his voice softer now, though still tinged with worry. “i wanna say like shit but suguru said no profanity,” you puff a little chuckle.

geto gives a little scoff at your comment, his expression laced with a mixture of annoyance and affection. he rolls his eyes playfully and mutters, “you’re such a bad influence.”

gojo’s lips curled into a small smirk before he turned his gaze back to you, the lines around his eyes creasing with a mix of amusement and relief. “can’t have you talking like that,” he teased, his words light but carrying a hint of genuine concern.

gojo studying your face carefully before speaking ever so softly, “well, apart from the obviously crappy mood geto’s been in, you look good. your color is better.” he noticed a faint crimson crushed on your cheeks, a little pink on your lips.

he reached his hand out to smooth a strand of hair away from your forehead, his touch light and tender. his gaze wandered from your face to where geto still held your hand, his eyes reflecting a subtle hint of appreciation.

geto watched gojo's gentle touch, his grip on your hand unconsciously tightening a little bit in response. his expression was a mixture of protectiveness and vulnerability, his eyes betraying the fear and worry that still tugged at his heart.

he took the moment to observe the soft interplay of emotions between you and gojo, the easy familiarity and the deep bond that existed between you all. he could sense the weight of gojo's concern as he studied your face, the care and attention in his touch.

gojo's voice was soft as he continued, his gaze still fixed on your face. “so, how are you feeling, for real?” he asked, his tone a gentle echo of geto's earlier question. “any pain? any discomfort?”

geto looked at you, his eyes silently pleading for you to be honest. he was hanging off your every word, each response a small insight into your well-being.

you took a deep breath, feeling the weight of their concern pressing down on you. meeting gojo’s gentle gaze and then turning to geto’s silent plea, you spoke with a mixture of remorse and honesty. “i’m sorry,” you began, your voice trembling slightly. “i’m sorry for how i handled things. i know i should have talked to you both, but i didn’t—i tried to take matters into my own hands without thinking it through first.”

your eyes reflected a deep sense of shame and regret as you continued. “i actually feel like absolute shit right now, and i’m ashamed of myself for thinking i could find a quick solution without considering the impact it would have on you both.” you looked at them, hoping your words conveyed the depth of your remorse and the sincerity of your apology, wanting them to understand that your actions were not a reflection of your feelings for them, but rather a moment of misguided desperation.

gojo's expression softened with understanding, his eyes filled with compassion. he knew the weight of your words, the regret and shame that clung to them. he reached his hand back to your arm, his touch gentle and reassuring.

geto's gaze was a mix of surprise and relief as he processed your apology. his hand around yours tightened slightly, his thumb tracing reassuring circles on your skin. “it's okay,” he said, his voice hoarse with emotion. “we all have moments of weakness. what matters is that you're here, safe and alive.”

you felt a wave of gratitude wash over you at their responses, their understanding and compassion a balm to your wounded spirit. “thank you,” you said softly, your voice thick with emotion. “thank you for not being angry with me and for not questioning me right away. i know i made a terrible mistake, and i’m grateful you’re here, supporting me instead of condemning me.”

geto's grip on your hand tightened slightly, his eyes filled with a complex mixture of emotions— relief, love, and a hint of lingering fear. he shook his head gently, a reassuring smile on his lips.

gojo chuckled softly, his eyes filled with a mixture of compassion and playfulness. “we can save the anger and lecturing for when you’re not looking so terrible,” he joked, a wry smile playing at the corners of his mouth. “and trust me, baby, i had a lot of choice colorful words for you when the right time comes,” he lean in to kiss your forehead, “but right now, we just trying to be here for you.”

geto nodded in agreement, his grip on your hand still tight. he couldn’t help but roll his eyes a bit at gojo's playfulness, but there was a hint of fondness beneath the feigned annoyance.

he leaned in, reaching out with his other hand to gently brush a strand of hair off your forehead. “you are a stubborn, reckless, and stubborn pain in the ass,” he scolded lightly, his tone a soft but affectionate mix.

gojo chuckled, his eyes crinkling at the corners with humor. he settled himself closer, his hand still resting lightly on your arm. “he's right, you know,” he chimed in, his smile wide. “you're very good at pushing our buttons and getting under our skin.”

geto's lips curled into a small smile, his expression a mixture of feigned anger and affection. “and you're even better at making us worry,” he added, his tone light but underlined with the gravity of their concern. “but we care about you more than anything,” he added, his gaze softening as he looked at you. “so you better not do something like that again, you hear me?” his voice held a hint of authority, but mostly it was filled with love and concern.

geto's smile grew a bit wider, his eyes crinkling endearingly at the corners. “yeah,” he said, his voice firm. “you better listen. we don’t need anymore of these near-death experiences from you.”

gojo chimed in enthusiastically, leaning in a bit closer. “yeah, cause let me tell you, i can’t handle any more gray hairs than i already have.”

geto's grip on your hand tightened again, his expression a mix of sternness and vulnerability. he looked at you intently, his gaze locking with yours. “he's right,” he echoed, his voice firm but filled with warmth and care. “no more reckless decisions. no more putting yourself in danger. you hear us, my love?”

gojo nodded in agreement, his expression serious but eyes softened with concern. he added, “yeah, we can't keep having our hearts in our throats like this. it's not good for our health, you know.” geto's hand caressed your arm gently, a silent plea for your understanding. “we just want you safe and sound. that’s all we ask.”

a hint of vulnerability flashed across geto's face, his expression betraying the weight of his words. he locked eyes with you, his gaze filled with a mixture of pleading and sincerity.

“we just want to know that you're safe,” he said softly, his voice barely above a whisper. “that you're not recklessly endangering yourself anymore.”

gojo leaned in closer, his hand resting on your arm lightly. “we can't bear the thought of something happening to you again,” he chimed in, his tone carrying an undercurrent of worry.

they continued to exchange tender words and earnest pleas, their voices overlapping in a chorus of concern and affection. each spoke fervently about their love and the lengths they would go to ensure your safety and happiness. their words, though filled with their own fears and frustrations, were underscored by a deep, unwavering care for you.

as you watched them, a soft smile touched your lips. their earnest devotion, their refusal to let you face this alone, filled you with a profound sense of comfort and gratitude. you could see their love in every gesture and hear it in every word, and it warmed your heart. despite the gravity of the situation, their caring presence made you feel cherished and supported, giving you strength even in the midst of your own turmoil.

after a few moments of their heartfelt declarations, the room fell into a short silence, the weight of their words lingering in the air.

gojo ran a hand through his hair, a gesture of nervous energy. “and just so you know, suguru here basically took a week off work to sit by your bedside like a damn watchdog, he even almost made the rainbow dragon eat gakuganji because that fucker won't let him leave.” geto, caught off guard by the sudden revelation, flushed faintly and shot a glare at gojo.

geto, taken aback, shot a sharp look at gojo before retort, “you clearly about to hollow purple the higher-ups and the entire school because they won't let you stay here with her.” gojo's expression darkened for a moment, “you know i would do it in a heartbeat, if i could.” geto's grip on your hand tightened, his gaze still fixed on gojo. “i know you would. and i'd be right there with you.”

gojo and geto turned their attention back to you when they heard your soft chuckling, their expressions a mix of relief and amusement at hearing you laugh.

gojo chuckled as well, “you find that funny, huh?” he said, a smile tugging at his lips. geto rolled his eyes a bit, but his own smile betrayed his true feelings. he couldn't stay serious when you laughed. “just the thought of us going rogue and taking down the entire school system for you is amusing, i guess,” he said, his tone laced with sarcasm.

you hummed in satisfaction, “they are shit anyway.” a gentle smile lingering on your pale lips.

gojo chuckled warmly, his eyes sparkling at your comment. “ah, and there’s that signature wit of yours coming back.”

geto, still feigning annoyance but struggling to hide a grin, shook his head slightly. “still as blunt and unfiltered as ever,” he said, his eyes soft.

you glances at both of them, the comforting silence lingering between you, and with a tender smile, you mouthed softly, “i love you.” your cheeks flushed a delicate crimson beneath your pale complexion as you kissed their cheek.

gojo and geto exchanged a brief glance at your sweet words and soft kisses, their hearts swelling with warmth and love. gojo's hand reached out to stroke your hair, his touch gentle and loving. “we love you too,” he said softly.

geto's smile widened as he placed a gentle kiss on your forehead. “always,” he breathed, his voice filled with tenderness.

the thought of you coming back to them is warm.

TAGLIST :

@junni-berry @fortunatelyfurrygiver @soraya-daydreams @diorzs @dancing--devils @iloveboysinred @bounie1 @nina3871 @ohnotheusernameisbroken

[harmoonix]

Intense Astro Observations

~ Your comfort room ~

~ It's never easy to walk away ~

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Pluto - Moon aspects can feel the pain in different ways based on the way they experience the pain, if is anger they can act feel a lot of pain, if is sadness they can have a depressive mood etc..

Sun - Moon harsh aspects could've experienced in a war between their parents, it was always something happening and always ended up hurt, these things make them stronger but with the heart on thorns

Mars - Moon aspects are getting annoyed very fast and aswell they do get angry fast, their emotions can be very powerful and tend to have a hot temper (some natives with this aspect can experience anger issues)

Chiron in the 1st house or aspecting ascendant can make the native to experience different types of healing during their life time, emotional, physical and mental, you need to learn how to heal them when you feel them

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Cause I knew that that was

The last time i see you

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Mars - Chiron aspects are another indicator of someone who can experience anger issues or someone who can get violent fast, sometimes they don't understand how they react like this because of their feelings

Chiron - Neptune aspects can actually suffer of having nightmares or insomnia, especially if Neptune or Chiron are in the 6th or 12th house, the native can often have vivid dreams and experience nightmares and tend to stay late in the night

Juno in the 12th house or aspecting Neptune can often get signs in their dreams about their lovers, sometimes these can come as daydreaming for some natives

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Sometimes I wake up by the door

That heart you caught must be waiting for you

Even now, when we're already over

I can't help myself from looking for you

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Venus, Mercury, Saturn or Moon in the 11th house are the people who have loyal friendships/friends, for Saturn in this house the friends can appear in your life later or after you learn a lessons about friendships

8th house placements can experience grief or loss of someone in very sad and harsh ways, they can be broken mentally and emotionally disconnected from everything, in these situations their souls and hearts have a healing episode trying to heal

Pluto - Asc aspects and Lilith - ascendant aspects can often get blamed or accused for things they never did, and experience this "They started first, they did it first" kind of thing, people blaming you and you did nothing, makes you feel bad and hurt, your mentally strong babes 🙏🏼❤️

Is very hard to make someone to feel loved when they were hurt and couldn't feel nothing for a lot of times, that's what Pluto - Sun and Pluto - Saturn aspects can experience

Venus - Moon/Venus Pluto aspects are having this "I don't want anyone else just you", these natives love so much and can feel so much love towards their partners while Venus and Saturn aspects have this "You're the one for me" energy, because it can be very fated for them to met

Moon - Saturn aspects have indeed a very sensbile soul, they experience anxiety, panic attacks and a lot of phobias from very young ages and carry this "Fighter/Warrior" title on their head, they can get hurt easily and when karma comes back for those who hurt them it's unforgivable

South Node harsly aspecting Saturn/Moon can often have this "I always wanted to feel loved but my heart is empty" this aspect usually means problems with their family and the native was not loved properly

"I love but you i can't let you go" is someone with Lilith - Moon aspects can experience, they get attached very fast and become posesive of the person they attached to

"Learn what love means and then fight trying to make it work" is what Saturn - Venus/Saturn in the 7th, 8th and 5th houses and Saturn - Moon/Sun aspects can experience

"Love can be unpredictable, and it can hit when you don't expect it at all but it comes with a price" is what Uranus - Venus/Venus - Pluto and Venus - Mars aspects can experience

Neptune - Ascendant aspects and Neptune - Sun aspects can often experience flashbacks from their past and it can happen very often, talking with someone about a thing and then your mind goes back to something you experienced in the past

Chiron - Moon aspects can actually have a very hard time to get over bad feelings or bad moments that happen in their life, and it can happen for them to be very hard on themselves

Chiron in the 12th house could have a wound that implies their spiritual beliefs or their subconscious can be hurt, let's say that they could've had a very hard past life and some memories from that certain past life would come in dreams in this life (Chiron in the 12th house is such an interesting thing to have in a birth chart and can represent so many things I would need a whole post to talk about this placement i love it)

Chiron - Asteroid Nessus 7066 aspects can indicate having a hard time to heal from abuse/trauma/bad things happening in your life but aswell as having an "re-birth" after something traumatic can happen on your life

Vesta (4) in harsh aspects with Venus/Moon are the meaning of "No matter how kind you are, you can still get hurt". They usually are very kind people but it can happen for them to be so hurt

Juno (3) in harsh aspects with Ceres (1) shows that you need some amount of nurturing and love in relationships and the same can happen for your spouse they can be the type of people who got hurt pretty often and need this nurturing,love, support etc..I feel like people with these aspects love harder/different and can happen to need a lot of physical touch/love

🥀 Hello dear people 🤩, How have you beeeen? Sorry for not being so active it seems that some countries get holiday way faster than others 😭 anyway it is so warm outside it literally kills me because i don't really like this much warm (I prefer cold seasons more😭). I hope everyone stays safe because the climate change is no joke at all, please make sure to drink enough water or something cold to keep your body in a good state with such a warm climate 🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼

🌩️ About my post this is an interesting topic for me because usually there are good sides of astrology but of course there are gonna be some darker sides aswell 🌩️ If you have placements from this post that doesn't mean you are having bad placements it just means your placements can be more intense than others which is perfectly fine 🫶🏼🌩️

🩵 Much love and good energy for everyone reading my post, have an wonderful day angels🩵

[honey-minded-hivemind]

Everybody! I'm sure you all have wondered for awhile, how the Dark AU ends... and I am here to tell you how it does:

Reader, after escaping from the Institute and either discovering a new mutation or finding an artifact, finds they can set things back before they and their friends were killed. The problem? This will send them back before they know them, so everything that has happened, relationships amd friendships and shared lives, that's all null and void.

Reader isn't left with much choice. Their family, they're all crazy now, and they aren't the people they used to know. Their friends have wounds that have left scars, and trauma. The world has suffered over their loss, and fear ruled them. None of it was right. It shouldn't be that way.

Even as they apologize, Reader activates their ability or the artifact, and even as they watch the timeline rewrite itself and everything fade to a new timeline, Reader feels guilt, and feels the haunting weight of that timeline...

They end up back in time, a little before they first met Xavier and the X-Men. When the Incident happens that let them meet, instead of sticking around this time-

Reader runs away.

They can't let that timeline come to pass. They can't watch the people they cared about turn into monsters. They can't fail their friends again. They can't handle the rejection if the others remembered them, or how they might have hated them for changing things... So Reader is on their own now, struggling to make it...

But then, in a moment of pain further on, they gain a new mutation, a few, diffent than their last life...

Stinger-like nails... a venom that can control others... the ability with it to form a hivemind... and superhuman reflexes and strength...

They end up under the wing of someone they fear, someone they cling to at first, an odd lady they only know as Queen, who gives them shelter, a purpose, for a cost...

But Reader, after a few weeks, sees through her, knows she wants to use them to control others, to take over the world... so Reader sticks around, if only to foil her every move, to try and free whoever gets hurt, to stop any upstart villains from taking over, and using Reader, and making everything they gave up all for nothing...

So, they'll play this game for now... but the moment things take a turn for the worse... Reader will cut this conniving Queen out of their web, and free who they can, if they can find a way to do so...

(Yep. The Dark AU, is now officially the prequel au to the Villain Reader AU) (Did I surprise you?)

(Look, I thought it all fit together perfectly. The Dark AU would explain why Villain Reader is so paranoid and scared of others, why they chose to stick it out, and why they have cunning and quick wits) (as those helped them survive the Dark AU)

(The villain au is now renamed... The Hivemind AU!)

( @ainsellshadewalker @sugar-soda @vivid-bun @weebwholovesuchihasasuke @thewickedweiner )

[nemesis-writer]

Tag you're it/Milk and Cookies

Masterlist TW: neglect, mentions of kidnapping, mention of blood

Looking at me through your window Boy, you had your eye out for a little "I'll cut you up and make you dinner You've reached the end, you are the winner" Rolling down your tinted window Driving next to me real slow, he said "Let me take you for a joyride I've got some candy for you inside"

My family never cared what happened to me, since to them I was just a means to an end. I hated who I was and am now and I'd never forget the day that they finally got what they wished for.

Me to be gone...

Running through the parking lot He chased me and he wouldn't stop Tag, you're it, tag, tag, you're it Grabbed my hand, pushed me down Took the words right out my mouth Tag, you're it, tag, tag, you're it Can anybody hear me when I'm hidden underground? Can anybody hear me? Am I talking to myself? Saying, "Tag, you're it, tag, tag, you're it" He's saying, "Tag, you're it, tag, tag, you're it"

The memory remained more vivid than every birthday I ever had. I was tortured, raped, and mentally abused. All of the sudden I became immune to all the emotional pain that I've been surmounting. It was like nothing matter anymore and the world finally made sense.

Little bit of poison in me I can taste your skin in my teeth "I love it when I hear you breathing I hope to God you're never leaving"

It never hurt me anymore I couldn't be bothered when they hit me, wound me, or even kill me anymore. None of it mattered.

All that mattered to me was the feeling of being free from the abuse at home and outside.

Eenie, meenie, miny, moe Catch your lady by her toes If she screams, don't let her go Eenie, meenie, miny, moe Your mother said to pick the very best girl And I am

It felt good knowing that I was right. They never loved me, it felt good being correct about something others would despise.

I can leave this world...

One, two, melatonin is coming for you Three, four, baby, won't you lock the door? Five, six, I'm done with this Seven, eight, it's getting late, so close your eyes, sleep for days

But no... of course that wish wouldn't come true, I always have to suffer.

So now I'm gonna give them the consequences for the mistake they made

Hush, little baby, drink your spoiled milk I'm fucking crazy, need my prescription filled Do you like my cookies? They're made just for you A little bit of sugar, but lots of poison too

I had the ability to escape, but no. I should enjoy the power I have in my hand.

I have never felt this joy for my whole life, and now to experience the true potential of my rage is thrilling.

Ashes, ashes, time to go down Ooh, honey, do you want me now? Can't take it anymore, need to put you to bed Sing you a lullaby where you die at the end

One by one the criminals all fall down. With the idea that I was someone who was worth even a single cent. Yet alone, millions of dollars.

I'd rather be dead, but this. This is so much more enjoyable.

Nine, ten, never want to see you again Eleven, twelve, I pull off black so well Shit behind the curtain that I'm sick of sugarcoatin' Next time you're alone, think twice when you grab the phone

Taglist

@lunayaps, @not-aya, @iluvcatzz, @vanessa-boo, @ivyrose9194,@thesehandsarerated-e, @eyeless-kun, @errorunfound1, @gwyneveire, @alishii, @cxcillia

[justanotherlifeff]

Use of an unrequited love

Sukuna x reader [Final part of “Love is Meaningless” and “Posession”]

[Trigger warning: Kinda rapey and borderline non con. Sukuna is a red flag. Sukuna has some very backdated views on how women should dress. Sukuna is the trigger warning]

You always had these vivid dreams your entire life. Dreams that seemed awfully real despite being inexplicably blurry. You remember a time before you were born, before anyone you know existed. You remember a small hut, a decent family, a village full of friendly people. You remember a cave near the forests, the smell of homecooked food in a bento box, the sound of water at a passing by stream, the feeling of wet grass on your bare feet. You remember crimson eyes, a blurry figure, and an intense feeling of love. You remember so much, the sensations, the smell, the taste, and yet, you couldn’t remember who that man was, the one that took your heart for himself. You remember helplessness, fear, and pain from being stabbed and it all goes blank each time. And then, you woke up to face reality, as you always do after these dreams. However, this time you were looking into those crimson eyes that had always existed in those unreachable dreams.

You didn’t recognize where you were. The last thing you remembered was being hit in the head while trying to fight Sukuna after he took over Megumi’s body. However, you were definitely terrified, given the fact that in the traditional Japanese room with you was the king of curses himself, waiting for you to wake up with an unreadable expression on his face.

How adorable, he thought, when you regained consciousness and had that look of abject horror. To think you of all people would look at him this way someday. Fate truly was laughably cruel. “I won’t hurt you, brat.” He chuckled, finding your reaction hilarious, and yet, more painful than any wound he had ever suffered. To think, the woman who accepted him with open arms a thousand years ago looked at him like the curse he was. Didn’t he fall for you because you never looked at him this way back then? What even was left of that love you two had? “Where am I?” You asked him, your voice full of fear and surprisingly, intrigue. He didn’t quite understand your reaction. “I wondered, how I would react if I ever heard you say these words. Whether I would chop you to pieces for acting like I was some parasite possessing Itadori for so long. But I’m afraid, whoever decided to play this sick joke towards me were right about one thing. I cannot kill you.” Sukuna sighed. That expression confused you. What was that expression in his eyes? Was it… longing? Why was there this expression of profound loss in his eyes? Why did you see these eyes in your dreams?

“Why can you not kill me?” You asked, trying to get as much information as you could. Perhaps it would help you escape, perhaps it will help you understand his weaknesses. Or perhaps, you would understand if those dreams truly had any significance. You were grasping at any opportunity at this point. “Ryomen Sukuna never took in a wife and never had children, that’s what you humans were taught in history, correct?” He asked, the frown never leaving his lips. “Yes. Was this wrong?” You asked, definitely curious. This was huge information after all. “Heh. Wrong is an understatement. I had a wife who was going to give me an heir. Before I became the king of curses, when I was just a wretch, a worthless being in this worthless world. She was weak, pathetic even. Her humanity was what killed her. And with herself, she took away the child too.” He chuckled dryly, as if he was amused by the sheer audacity of the world. He didn’t care that the wedding never happened. That you died before he could make you his, before he could give you the happiness you deserved. You were his wife in that lifetime. He didn’t accept otherwise in his mind.

Ah, that sounded, awfully familiar. Yet, somehow, when you dared to look into Sukuna’s eyes as he spoke of that past that you dreamed of, you knew exactly who you were to him. What you didn’t know was how to feel about it. “Why are you making that expression?” Sukuna asked, raising an eyebrow at the shock in your eyes. He didn’t even tell you the whole thing yet so why were you so shocked? “Was I… her?” You asked him, not knowing what else to say. “You knew? Heh, you are a tricky one huh… How did you know? Well, I suppose that’s good since I wouldn’t have to waste my breath explaining things to you. I’m sure you realize exactly what I want from you, correct?” He had a smile on his face as he told you this, pleased that he wouldn’t have to speak of those complicated emotions. You never imagined you would see the king of curses make such an expression.

Saying no to him is a privilege in Sukuna’s views, and you didn’t earn that privilege yet. How could you? After all, in his views, you owe him far too much. You owe him his heir, you owe him your life, you owe him whatever humanity he had left in him before your death. However, he owed you everything he was. He became the King of Curses because of you and he was never one to forget ones who did him a favor. His power, his influence, everything happened because of you and he wasn’t one to stay indebted. As on que, you disappointed him yet again. “I don’t want this. You stand against everything I fight for. You have killed so many, you have massacred hundreds and thousands… I.. or to be more precise, my previous incarnation did not fall in love with this. I fell for a man who was ostracized by society because of the way he was born. I fell for a man who deserved to be treated like human. I didn’t fall for a monster.” Was your reply.

“Did you truly believe I care for your opinion? You’re mine. I won’t hurt you, not physically atleast, nor will I kill you but that doesn’t change the fact that I take what’s mine. So get this ridiculous notion out of your head that what you say, or what you want, matters to me. We could do this two ways. You can continue to reject me, defy me, and I will take away everything you care for one by one. I will kill your family, kill that pet dog you like so much, kill your friends, and kill other humans right infront of you so that I am all you have left. Or you could give in, forget about those foolish ideals you live for, and I would give you the world. I will personally make sure your family is not harmed and I will even bring that mutt to you. As for your friends and other people, I cannot make promises since your friends are my enemies. However, even a child can tell what the better option is.” Sukuna snapped at you, anger evident. How dare you defy him? How dare you try to take yourself away from him after he waited for a millennia?

He was right, you knew the better option. Reality was, you were selfish. Like all humans, you had your vices. Even now, you didn’t wish for your family to be harmed, and you knew that Sukuna was the type of man who keeps his promises. So you just looked away, and nodded, trading your friends, your companions for your family. You dreamed of a life where you would meet a good man, have a family. However, those dreams seemed like childish musings. Reality was always different, cruel. Just like how Sukuna’s satisfied smile looked more cruel than anything to you.

“Using your family works to convince you, even now… Even after what happened in your previous life.. How naive.. No matter, anyone who attempts to harm you or take you away will face a fate worse than death. Your weakness wouldn’t take you away anyone.” He said with a smile, cupping your cheek. It would sound romantic in normal circumstances but it wasn’t. You knew that your friends will attempt to save you and he would kill them. “I have restrained myself long enough. You have heightened my temptation all those months, dressing like a vulgar whore after all. Then again, all women seem to dress that way in this era. Take responsibility for your actions, woman” The smug smile on his faces told you what was about to happen. “Strip”, he commanded.

“Sukuna.. I don’t… Im not ready…” You tried protesting with a shaky voice much to Sukuna’s annoyance. “Cease your incessant whining. You’re alive because of those disgusting emotions you make me feel or you would be dead already for defying my orders. I will say this one last time. Or else, I will tear those clothes off you myself. Strip.” His voice rang, full of displeasure. With shaky hands, you complied. “Just as beautiful as I remember… I must thank whoever decided to play this cruel joke on me before killing them” Sukuna chuckled, moving close to you, eyeing your bare skin, his arms grabbing your waist to pull you closer. “Look at me” he commanded, using one hand to grab you by your cheeks and forcing you to look up at him. Without a word, he pulled you into a passionate kiss, savoring the taste of your lips like a starved beast. Even a millenia later, you tasted the same. Your lips felt the same, soft against his.

Yet, something was missing. He couldn’t quite figure out what as he pushed you down on the futon nearby. Something about you made this different, less pleasing, less fulfilling. The thought didn’t leave his mind even as he undressed, even as he lifted your legs up on his shoulder, spat on your cunt to make it wet and plunged his cock into you. The sounds you made, of pleasure and pain were the same. The moans, whimpers, calling his name out as you grabbed his forearms, scratched his back raw… it was all the same. Your insides were just as tight, as warm, just as pleasurable as he remembered. As he fucked into you, ramming his cock against your cervix, he ended up saying those dreaded words that he only uttered all those years ago.

“I love you. Fuck! Ill make you my queen. Ill give you the whole damn world at your feet. You feel like heaven on Earth, my love. I love you.” He groaned out in your ears, about to reach his release as the erotic sounds of your moans and whimpers of his name were music to his ears. Thats when he realized what was missing. You didn’t tell him you loved him back. Not once did you show any affection towards him. As he reached his release, filling you to the brim with his seed, he realized that you weren’t the woman who loved him despite him being a monster. You were simply someone who looked like her and shared her memories. You did not love him. Unfortunately, somewhere in his twisted heart, he desperately wanted to believe you would give in if he fucked you well enough. That you would become the woman who captured his heart and he could just continue on like nothing happened. Like you never died in that past life. However, reality was often disappointing.

Pulling out of you, he was lost for a moment as he got up and sat at the edge of the bed. After a moment, he spoke. “Leave, Y/N” he said, his voice hardened. “W-what?” You asked, panting and surprised by his words. “I will win this world first. And then I will win your heart again. So, leave. Spend time with those you care for because they may die when I conquer this world. You’re not the woman I fell for. Atleast, not yet.” Sukuna answered, not even giving you a glance. “You’re just letting me leave? Just like that?” You were shocked, wondering if this is some kind of trick. “What use do I have of a love that is not returned?” Sukuna chuckled dryly in answer.

[mrs-snape5984]

“As long as I'm with you, I've got a smile on my face…”

“Save your tears, it'll be okay. All I know is you're here with me…” (“Here with me” by D4vd)

Suffering from ME/CFS makes me feel like my whole world is falling apart in front of my eyes. Since I’ve already lost so much joy and so many abilities due to this devastating disease, my continuing loss seems to increase even further.

As some of you might know, do I love to write my own stories about Severus and Julia just as much as I enjoy using my tumblr blog as some kind of journal, whenever I’ve commissioned another artwork. It’s my way of rolling out a red carpet for the artists of Snapedom…it’s my way of honouring them for their talent in their profession. Commissioning those amazing people and letting them make my ideas and fantasies come to life, is my very own manner of coping with my physical and emotional pain.

And now, this coping mechanism seems to crumble into pieces as well as everything else, that I’ve already lost! It hurts me to admit, that my brain fog takes advantage of my capability to create vivid images with my words. My thoughts are getting blurry and chaotic. I’m struggling to find the right words to express my emotions (it’s even worse in my native language German than in English!!)…and this scares me to hell!

My mind was the only place, where I could find some shelter from my infuriating and terrifying reality of losing myself to ME/CFS. What if I forfeit my only - just barely existing- talent now?? How should I flee this nightmare of existence if writing wouldn’t be an option anymore?! How should I express my gratitude towards all those marvellous artists of Snapedom, who are all weaving my emotional comfort blanket with each piece of their art?!?

I don’t want to give up on my writing…and I won’t…even though my pride would probably fade away with each badly written chapter of my fictions…and with each unworthy post on my blog. I must admit, that I’m already acknowledging the loss of quality. 🥺

I found an inspiring poem about the importance of staying resilient, no matter how difficult the hardships of life might become, and I want to share it with you:

"KEEP GOING" (Better known as "DON'T QUIT") by Edgar A. Guest

When things go wrong, as they sometimes will, When the road you're trudging seems all uphill, When the funds are low and debts are high, And you want to smile but have to sigh.

When care is pressing you down a bit, Rest, if you must, but DON'T YOU QUIT!

Life is queer with its twists and turns, As everyone of us sometimes learns, And many a failure turns about,

When he might have won if he'd stuck it out, Don't give up though the pace seems slow, You might succeed with another blow.

Often the struggler has given up, When he might captured the victor's cup.

And he learned too late, when the night slipped down, How close he was to the golden crown,

Success is failure turned inside out, The silver tint on clouds of doubt, And you never can tell how close you are, It may be near when it seems afar,

So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit, It's when things seem worst that you mustn't quit.

My dear @mmad-lover, I can’t stress enough how grateful I am for your dedication to this stunning piece of art and believe me, it was worth every single second of waiting! Paula, I was incredibly touched to hear, that my request seemed to be something special, something personal to you. I can assure you, that, indeed, all of my ideas have a profound meaning to me and I’m glad that you’re such an empathetic person, who sensed that particular importance of your art to me. Your devotion to this drawing is palpable in every single detail, every line of your brushes. You created exactly the mood, that I wished for Severus and Julia. It doesn’t matter that the world is burning to the ground around them, they will always have each other’s backs! Just like I’m relying on Severus for more than 21 years now. Thank you for everything, you precious soul! I’m glad that I met you and I hope, we’ll stay in touch. 🥹

🖤Severus & Julia🖤

🖤Sevy & Jules🖤

[milkb0nny]

If you write for Jing Yuan, can I request angst with him being in love with Yanqing's biological mother (Reader) but she died asking him to take care of him? If this isn't up your alley or violates any of your boundaries please feel free to delete!

××× my shooting star ×××

Jing Yuan x fem!reader

Note: Thank you so much for this request! It was a very interesting and saddening experience. I hope I met your expectations. Have a lovely day and feed yourself with some wholesome content as well. 🤎

The night was quiet, illuminated only by the soft glow of the moon and the occasional twinkle of distant stars. Jing Yuan stood before your grave, his heart heavy with grief, even after a year had passed since the death of his beloved. Even though he loved you more than anyone else, he struggled to visit your grave. Your death haunts him, as he wished to see your smile one more time. The times he approached your grave, covered in flowers, it was a clear night. He raised his eyes to the lonely night-sky, watching as shooting stars streaked across the heavens, each one a painful reminder of the love he had lost. Each one a reminder he had to take care of your beloved son.

“My love,” he whispered, his voice trembling with emotion. "My shooting star, my dearest sweetheart, my darling. How I miss you."

The memories of you were still vivid in his mind – the warmth of your smile, the sound of your laughter, and the way you had filled his life with light and love. You had been his confidante, his anchor, and the love of his life. Never did he thought to lose you one day. Tears dwelled up in his honey colored eyes, a hurting smile crept over his lips and his shoulders hung low. He never wanted you to be apart from his side, he desired you every day. He prayed, he screamed, he cried so much, only for a last kiss.

A year had passed, but the pain remained as raw as ever. He had made a promise to you on your very own deathbed, a promise to care for your dear son, Yanqing. The young boy, with his mother's eyes and your cheerful spirit, was a constant reminder of the love he had lost. Regardless Jing Yuan loved Yanqing, he always did. There was no moment where he cursed him or accused him of reminding him of his loss. Jing Yuan was mature enough to use that negative energy and turn it into anticipation. The general wanted to make Yanqing stronger, so at least the young boy would never leave Jing Yuan’s side.

Jing Yuan had taken Yanqing under his wing, teaching him the ways of the world and the art of fighting, just as he had promised. He loved the boy as if he were his own, and Yanqing had become like a son to him. But despite the joy that the boy brought into his life, the pain of losing his lover was a wound that refused to heal. After all, Yanqing often visited Jing Yuan, expressing how he also suffered from his mothers death. Both men loved you: one as a strong, confident mother, the other as a beautiful, faithful wife.

Tears ran down, down Jing Yuan's soft skin, as he continued to watch the shooting stars. One after another, all of them being a potential wish for you to come back. Each of them harbored the hope to wake up and see you. Jing Yuan missed the mornings where he woke you up with caressing your arms and kissing you. He missed the evenings you three strolled through the market. He finally knelt beside her grave, his shoulders shaking with silent sobs. The pain this man owned ate his soul day by day.

“I can't help but wonder… why you had to leave me so soon, darling. I feel so lost without you. I can’t, I really can’t. You were my little fragile flower and I tried so… so hard to protect you. I still love you. I love you so much that my heart’s been hurting, bleeding and wanting to join you. My love…”

Jing Yuan traced a finger over the engraved words on the gravestone, as if seeking solace in the cold stone. Your name was written there but it had already withered with time. The rest of your tombstone was covered in blue and white flowers that Yanqing had always brought to you. Your son, your partner cared for you but handled it their very own ways.

“But, sweetheart, I will keep my promise," he vowed. "I will always care for Yanqing, just as you asked. I will make sure he grows up strong and wise, just like his mother. He is such a good kid, so strong to deal with your death." He cried out loud, sniffling and wiping away his tears. There were rare occasions where the grown up man sobbed, but when it was about you he never refused to bawl his eyes out. Where were you?

As he gazed up at the sky once more, another shooting star streaked across the heavens, as if in response to his words. Jing Yuan took it as a sign, a message from his beloved, reassuring him that you were watching over him from the stars above. Oh, what bright shooting star you were this cold night.

With a heavy heart, he stood up again, kissing a flower, then wiping away his tears. "I will carry your love in my heart always," he whispered, his voice cracking and breaking apart like shattered glass. "And I will find the strength to continue on, for you, for Yanqing, and for our love."

With one last lingering gaze at the night sky, he turned around, his back facing your grave, and walked away. His steps heavy but determined, as he faced another day without his beloved by his side. Before entering the front door of his residence, he looked up, to the brightest shooting star that caressed the sky this night. Naturally he smiled at that.

“My shooting star. I love you.”

After saying these words, he opened the door to find Yanqing sleeping on a chair. He always waited for Jing Yuan to show up before he head to bed. To Jing Yuan, he treasured it deeply. He softly woke his apprentice up. Tired eyes met the reddened eyes of Jing Yuan, though the younger one didn’t question why he had cried. He knew, they both knew well enough.

[roseglazedlens]

⦑ close wounded ⦒✶.*

pairing(s): chris redfield x b.s.s.a gn!reader synopsis: you suffered a gunshot wound on the field. your captain checks in on you, concern lingering on his face. content: angst, mutual pining, shirtless reader (body parts not mentioned), mentions of medical treatment, blood, gun wounds, death, trauma. « 1.3 k words┇masterlist┇reblogs appreicated <3 »

When you were a wee lad, you wanted to do something cool.

Serve the country despite disapproval from all ends. You didn’t learn the real cost until you join B.S.A.A. The memory of your dead friends stalked you, ostracising you from the peace you desperately desired till this day.

There was no room for grief. No room for emotions to weaken you. Yet why does your heart dance when it was just you and your captain staking out at the rest site? Why do you read the newspaper on your off days, skimming through the ‘R’ names on the obituary, praying his name is not listed?

You’re in no position to worry about others, every day your training was more gruesome than the previous. The fields were worse – not only physically abuse, but the mental torture that paints a vivid image of corpses, died in countless methods too gruesome to explain, making you imagine what yours would look like when you die.

Your weakness was how you ended up right here. Face drained of colour from the loss of blood, lips bled from holding back your screams, wrists gripped so tight your nerves protrude. Your thoughts drifted into a middle point where you’re in tune with your subconscious.

“Hang in there. Worst part’s over.” The medic retrieved the bullet that was submerged in your flesh, proceeded to clean the wound fast. They ran out of anaesthetic long ago. She needed to operate quick, you lost too much blood.

It hurt like hell.

But you’ll live. For better or worse. After everything you had witnessed. For a second, you envied the soldiers next to you who died a quick death, while you are bound by the curse of living. You relieved when the medic started wrapping you with a bandage.

Your ears sharpened at the sound of Chris’s boots hitting the floor on the other side of the curtains of the makeshift operation room, a very distinct pace you recognise everywhere to be your captain.

“Are they okay?” Chris moved the curtain aside and walk in, just to walk out the same way immediately with eyes averted before the medic could respond.

You looked at yourself, the throbbing pain on your belly led you to forget that your shirt was off, as requested by the medic for easier access to your wound. Your cheeks flushed slightly, putting your shirt back on as fast as your wound allowed you. With a long list of injured soldiers, the medic left promptly, finding the next injury to tend.

“Captain. You can come in now.” You uttered.

You watched the mud coated boots lift under the curtains, paused a beat, before entering with apprehension.

“How are you feeling?” Chris straightened up after seeing you clothed. Relieved.

“Better. Still stings though.”

You commented, keeping your sentence short in attempts to not aggravate him further. Chris was already plenty upset when you ran into the open field to save a lost child from the onslaught of bullets.

“You’re lucky you got way with one bullet wound.” Chris scoffed.

“She needs our help.” You affirmed, despite how much you liked Chris, you did what you needed to. “If I don’t make a difference, who will?”

Chris let out a deep groan. His eyebrows furrowed, exhausted. Years of baggage resting underneath those bloodshot hazel eyes. You wondered if he had a moment to rest since you guys retreated into the safehouse hours ago.

“I won’t let my team die. Not under my watch.”

The word held weight in his breath – filled with pain, sorrow, and remorse. Your hands, as if possessed by the Plaga of your own undeniable desire, outstretched an arm to place your hand on his. Chris’s gloves was all scratched up, but you can feel his exposed fingers from the glove, rugged with a sensation of safety.

You can’t find the words to say – to be fair, there was nothing you could say to him at this moment. Chris had been through so much, and you had only seen a fraction of the nightmare he had witnessed.

“You’re right. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. I know you can take care of yourself.” Chris nodded, the ghost of a grin loomed over the corner of his lips as he placed a tender hand on the crown of your head, ruffled messily at your hair.

Chris rarely smiled. This is the closest you’ll get. You watched as his irises captured the colours of his surroundings, reflected the speckled dust of debris and shimmer radiantly. Only Chris could make the dirt and blood on a war field looked so spectacular.

You wanted to tell him how beautiful his eyes are, you want them to look at you forever.

And maybe it’ll feel like this world isn’t fucked up for once. That you two can just be two normal people. Maybe then you’d have a chance in love.

You expect Chris to brush it off, nod respectfully as he does to any other soldier, politely excusing himself. Only that he doesn’t. Drooped eyelids accentuating his long, thick lashes, eyes plastered on yours, expression softened.

Was it you… or was it him that stared first? Suddenly, the details are a blur.

Chris’s hand no longer laid on your head, but on your chin, a finger brushed the corner of your lip where the adhesive strip on your cheeks stuck. His blistered thumb thawed the coldness away on your cheek, melting away your barriers.

“God. Be careful. Please.” Chris whispered, almost pleading. You thought you were fooling yourself, Chris’s voice sounded… tender… loving even. “Who will take care of you when I’m gone?”

You mustered the strength to stop, but your body moved on your own. Chris’s words summoned a force so powerful it sent the butterflies straight down your spine, fluttering in your stomach. It ignited something you never thought you will have, almost forbidden and despite your body’s resistance, you found yourself inching closer and closer.

Chris didn’t respond, but his lidded eyes darted around your face, observing every trivial mark on your face, like this was the first time his eyes ever laid on yours.

“May I..?” You nodded promptly.

Chris leaned in before you could finish your second nod, no hesitation in his movements. Chris already knew your answer just from your looks. You wanted it too. You wanted it just as long as he did.

You fluttered your eyes closed.

A gentle warmth spreads from his lips to yours with just a brush, both of his hands cupping your face now. You pulled Chris closer, flushed against his bulletproof vest. It was stained with the blood of enemy and reeked pungently with decay of the undead, but you sensed a faint of warmth through it. A faint of hope, after all that you two had been through together.

It felt just right. You know it.

His chest rising and falling against yours, a breathy groan released from the depths of Chris’s throat as his grip on you tightened like Chris didn’t want to let you go.

Chris slowly parted his lips with yours, leaving you disappointed. Not satiated yet with the taste of him. The feelings come pouring out from inside of you, and the need to be with him transcended your fear.

“I have something to tell you, captain.” You said, a quiet whisper, your gazes inseparable. You wanted to tell him, pour all out all these emotions you can no longer hold together.

“I already know, my love.”

And he sealed your love for each other with a tender kiss, an imprint of much more to come.

thanks for reading! come check out my other works. ––yours truly, rose.

[arkhammaid]

⓷ PROMPT 39 with Jason Todd [DC]

fandom. dc

pairing. jason todd x gn!reader

prompt. ''everything is going to be okay'' kisses

content warnings. nightmares, comfort fic, written in lowercase, not edited

word count. 0.6k

notes. first post of my first milestone event on this blog, wooo!! and jason has the honors hehe, i really hope i did him justice with this one, as well the prompt :) requested by the lovely @acxciia

jason wakes up with a racing heart, scrambling away from you, whole body shaking and harsh pants leaving his mouth. you’re still blissfully sleeping, snuggled in blankets, while he stares at your relaxed face. 

it calms him, the tiny snores leaving your mouth, trying to match his frantic breathing to your slow one, anything to calm down. calm down, shake the nightmare off, but it lingers in his mind, the screams echoing in his mind— the pained screams of his victims and his own, hidden in darkness where the monster lumbers. 

he sits on the bed, the freezing air in his apartment cooling his feverish skin. he sits and waits for the morning to come, because— because jason knows he can’t fall asleep again, not when the terrors always seek him out the moment he closes his eyes. it’s always like this, the days close to 27th april, his death date. 

then he starts to hear screams and laughter, then he feels the flames on his skin while his body freezes slowly to death. then he dies,  once again, his dreams always so vivid, as if his heart acually stops beating.

it’s not like he sleeps much anyway, not with his night job, but nowadays he’s lucky when he gets a few hours of deep sleep.

with a sigh, he turns his attention back to you. your soft snores fill the silence in the room, body curled ever since he left your side. fuck, he doesn’t deserve you. your soft hands, your innocent and pure soul, how can he ever deserve your love? how can he let you hold him, when his hands are drenched in blood, how can he let you kiss him with his rotten mouth, how can he let you love him with his broken everything. it’s not just his soul, it’s also his mind, having seen too much, killing and destroying— it’s also his heart, oh so distrusting, branded by betrayals and deaths of loved ones. 

how can he be the one you love, him, nothing more but a criminal, a killer, a dead son. he doesn’t deserve you, never has and never will—

"why are you awake?" your raspy voice shakes him out of his spiraling thoughts. jason immediately grasps your reaching hand and presses a kiss on your warm skin. 

"you know how it is," he murmurs back, and you know, you know how jason suffers, how he’s plagued by nightmares. no matter what you do, he always wakes, leaving his side of the bed, leaving in fear of hurting you. and no matter how many times you reassure him, he doesn’t listen, oh so stubborn. 

instead you wiggle a bit, lowering the blanket, and open your arms, fully knowing jason can’t resist you. he doesn’t, carefully joining your hug, while he wraps his own arms around your body. with a satisfied hum, you snuggle closer. 

"i love you," you say, voice clear, and he shudders in your arms. "i love you so much." and then you peck his lips, again and again, until he finally leans onto the kisses. slow and sensitive, you try to show him how much you care, how much you love, letting him know— you’re here, and you won’t be leaving soon. 

you will stay until he’s better, until he’s at his best and worst, always by his side, a steady and loving presence in his life. 

you will stay, and everything is going to be okay, simply because you’re together. 

taglist. @keyz-writes , @obsidianjewel , @keqism , @aimixx , @venexus , @themercyverse

if you want to join the taglist, please read this post!

ARKHAM MAID 2023

[paintersknife]

Infinity

The first time he watches her die, it feels like the world is ending around him. It’s sudden, a freak accident as he’s walking her home after a date, the car careening into her before either of them can even react. Dimly he’s aware of other people screaming and shouting for help, but deep in his core he knows it won't come in time. The logical part of his mind is aware he's going into shock, but his vision has shrunk until all he can see is her and the pool of blood that he can't staunch no matter what he does. She's calm, why is she so calm? Her eyes look so sad as they stare up at him and he's helplessly holding her tight as he clutches for her hands, whispering to her over and over so she never feels alone, not even for a second. Faintly, he can hear someone crying, and at the back of his mind he thinks don't cry, you won't have to suffer much longer, not realising the sound is coming from himself. There are screams that die in his throat, swallowed raw and thrashing. His blood pounds in his ears, in his head, as if it’s struggling to break free from him, to go with her, wherever she’s going. He doesn't realise that she's already going cold, doesn’t register much of anything until his vision seems to go black.

“Hey,” he sees her text on the phone in his hand. “So where do you want to go this weekend?” His phone is dropped as if it was a burning coal, his fingers shaking as he reaches up to remove his glasses and bury his face in his hands. Tears that he doesn’t feel wet his palm as his chest heaves with wracking sobs that he had been suppressing the entire time. It was too vivid to be a premonition, too detailed to be a vision. The terror he felt as he lost her finally starts to drain away like a bad dream, replaced by a feeling of relief so strong that he stumbles backwards and slumps onto his bed. Every deity that he can name is thanked for this second chance, every God that he can think of has a prayer whispered to them as a promise that he won’t waste it. With shaking hands he picks up the phone and types her a quick reply, already planning to make sure she is never put in that situation again.

He’s on edge all the way to the time that he remembers the accident happening, laughing off her attempts to ask him if everything is alright. When they reach her home he finally relaxes, giving her a quick kiss before watching her go up the steps to her door. He watches horrified as she slips on the top step, landing awkwardly and hard, too hard. She doesn’t get back up.

“Hey,” he sees her text on the phone in his hand. “So where do you want to go this weekend?” 

The tenth time it happens he can feel something break inside of him. As if he’s lost some insignificant but irreplaceable thing that kept him whole. There’s nothing he can do to stop it, it’s as if reality is contradicting itself, simultaneously wanting her dead but refusing to accept it. Each time is something different, some freak occurrence that could only be described as ‘one in a million’. An electrical cable snaps. A rotten tree falls. A bathtub drowning. Electrical malfunction. Nothing makes sense, no pattern stands out to him, and even if it did, he knows he has no way of making any notes for himself, no way to keep track of the things he needs to do or avoid except with his mind, and how grateful he is to have the intellect that he was blessed with that this is at least something that he is capable of doing. But it hurts, it hurts so much to have to commit everything to memory, every hurt that he sees on her, every moment of her pain. He can’t forget. Her life depends on it. He keeps trying. He must.

Soon he doesn’t break down anymore when he returns to the beginning of the loop. He feels monstrous, wondering if he’s becoming numb to it all after all, but each time he can sense that he’s losing just a little more of himself, a feeling that always surprised him because he was so sure that there wasn’t even anything left of him to lose anymore. Once, he told her about the loop in an attempt to warn her, but the look she gave him (that he can’t forget, won’t ever forget) ensured he wouldn’t ever bring it up again.

How many times has it been? Does he even remember how many times he has been forced to face the futility of his own actions as he watches the life drain out of her eyes? He’s keenly aware of what constitutes humanity, of that invisible border between life and death, one that he’s seen her cross countless times. It's strange how little separates ‘person’ from ‘corpse’. He thinks it odd that there’s always fear in her eyes at the end, but it never seems to be for herself, almost as if leaving him alone scares her more than her own fast approaching mortality, more than the pain of having her life ripped from her far too soon. He doesn’t understand why. After all, he knows that when he next opens his eyes he’ll be right back at the start, ready to restart his doomed quest.

He knows he can’t stop, even if he wanted to. To give up would be to lose her forever, and watching her slip away at the end of each cycle is at least not that. A future without her is no future at all, and he would gladly suffer through a hundred years of this torment– a thousand– anything to give her time back to her. He doesn’t want to stop. Will never want to stop, not even if she curses him with her dying breath. He’ll endure it all for her, even if it kills him. Maybe it already has.

It's purgatory, but even in the midst of his endless torment, there's a shred of hope. Hope that there's an end to this, a secret that he can unravel, a code he can crack, that with perfection in every action he can release them both. And though he has to watch it over and over and over again he knows that he can still go back. Even if it’s just a second longer, he’s grateful for every moment he has by her side.

What he doesn't think about, can't think about, is that hope is sometimes the cruellest thing of all.

“Hey,” he sees her text on the phone in his hand. “So where do you want to go this weekend?” 

Reset 564. Failure.

Begin again.

Because I had the idea about what if Clarence was trapped in a loop à la Cael in Godheim, and I think he would probably ruin himself to fix it.

[sleepdeprivedsimp234]

May I request angst headcanons for all six blorbos? Please I am sick and in desperate need for sadness to feel better lol (it’s ok if you can’t tho!)

YESSSSS I GET TO ANGST THEMMMMMM :)

New York, Louisiana, Texas, Gov, Massachusetts, and New Jersey? I apologize in advance. (I do not feel bad at all lmao)

New York:

He will 100% cry or at least struggle not to cry if someone makes fun of the fact he can’t walk right.

Hella insecure about the fact that it’s really difficult for him to be able to gain weight. It doesn’t help that he was bullied about it when he went to school.

NY actually did very well in school and was a bright smart student, but his classmates and teachers were absolute ASSHOLES to him.

Him and sleep are the type of enemies that if one was on fire and the other had a glass of water, the one with the water would drink it. So- NY is tired ALL. THE. DAMN. TIME. But if he tries to sleep, he can’t. And if he does manage to fall asleep, he just wakes up an hour later whether it just be out of nowhere or he has a nightmare.

Louisiana:

When France killed Loui’s mother, Loui’s mom actually put a curse on France that would give him terrible and vivid nightmares, ones that were so vivid that the victim could feel the phantom pain even after they woke up. But ofc since Louisiana has a heart where he should have a brain, he felt bad and took the curse off of France and put it on himself. Which is one of the reasons that he can’t sleep now. And most of his nightmares are about France’s abuse and war so. Yeah. He feels it all.

So like- Loui is a very kind, very gentle, and very big-hearted person. And he wants nothing but the best for most people. Unfortunately, this has led to him being used and hurt and manipulated more times than anybody is comfortable with hearing. And it’s usually the people he loves most that end of hurting him.

He finds it hard to believe that everybody actually loves him and cares about him. He just- can’t believe it. Yeah, he’ll say he believes it, but he doesn’t. Not fully at least.

For my cryptid/animal stuff, I picture Loui to be some blend of either a wolf and gator, or a wolf and Pelican. But he has the wolf ears and tail. They’re usually out, but they’re just hidden under his hat and in his shirt. Why does he keep them hidden? Well- his ears and tails are VERY sensitive to pain. And France use to take advantage of that by stepping on his tail and yanking on his ears and yelling constantly cuz he knew that it hurt Louisiana. I’m gonna skin France alive.

Texas:

When he gets way too damn tired to even want to exist, he’ll just completely give up. He’ll just lay there and cry. He won’t even try to fight someone coming to front, he’ll just let it happen. Someone needs to sit this poor boy down and help him talk about his issues please I’m begging-(no let him suffer <3)

The only time he ever opens up is if he’s drunk or if Austin is fronting. And when he comes back to front, he’ll completely ignore everyone and isolate himself.

I’m very very nice to him and I’ve given him: asthma, an iron deficiency, and hemophilia (so he bleeds REALLY easily). He absolutely REFUSES to take his medications and stuff and use his inhaler when he needs it. And all he does is work outside and lift and do stuff all day. Which he gets really dizzy and winded and hurt from. So cue someone finding him completely dazed and out of it leaning against a wall just so he can keep standing and he’s just trying to control his breathing and all of that.

He absolutely loves giving and receiving hugs and physical affection, but if ANY touch restrains and/or restricts his movement and ability to escape, someone is getting kicked, punched, bitten, slapped, or all the above.

Gov:

Oh Gov. Poor, poor, not-so-innocent Gov….. he needs a nap. Desperately. And a hug. Please. He needs it. So, so bad.

He has PA’s alcohol addiction, but instead it’s caffeine cuz he’s seen what alcohol does to people and fears becoming like PA.

He has TERRIBLE dissociation episodes that usually end with him just passing tf out.

Gov felt as though the Civil War was mostly his fault and pinned the blame on himself for some reason. He felt as though he had done something wrong that made half of his country wanted to leave.

Massachusetts:

Blames himself for almost everything that happened to his siblings. Even though literally NONE of it was his fault.

His biggest fears are failure, and hurting those he loves. He can’t stand the thought of it AT ALL. He can’t.

Often fears that he’s not “masculine enough” since England always told him that ever since he transitioned.

He tries not to use his magic as much after the Salem Witch Trials happened. Cuz he got beat and burned at the stake at least once or twice and would rather not relive that pain.

New Jersey:

Okay- tbh, he’s not the sharpest tool in the shed, and he’s kinda insecure about that cuz he was never as smart and creative as his brothers.

Will literally hold in his tics until he’s alone, and usually by that time, he’s incredibly uncomfortable and maybe even in a bit of pain.

For the cryptid/animal stuff: one of his horns is cracked and a little shorter than the other because England broke one of them. Asshole.

His biggest fears are: the death of his loved ones and hurting his loved ones (oh look he has something in common with Ma-*gets choked*)

[strniohoeee]

Revenant

Pairings: Matt Sturniolo x Female Reader(y/n) its friends to lover-ish, feelings are expressed but they are both just friends!

Synopsis: In which y/n is suffering 7 months after her tragic accident, but something’s not right with her, and Matt can feel it. Thats when things start to get a little weird🤔

Warnings: There’s no warnings! It is a spooky imagine just in time for Halloween, but nothing crazy! I suppose ⚠️supernatural and ghosts?⚠️

Songs- Magic Hour- Jhené Aiko

Remember- Jhené Aiko

Stay ready-Jhené Aiko

It’s been a solid 7 months since the accident. 7 months since my life was forever altered. The memory of it all is so fuzzy yet so vivid and painful. I was left feeling empty and wondering for 7 months.

I remember the days leading up to the event, I remember the exact moments before it happened, but I can’t remember anything after that. Why was I struggling so badly? It had been a beautiful sunny day in Boston, and Matt had texted me telling me that his brothers and himself were going on a hike to enjoy the weather, and had asked me to join. I agreed and immediately hopped into my car, rolling down the windows and letting the nice breeze blow through my body. Grasping my face and twirling my hair around its fingers as I drove down the main road. I had Magic Hour by Jhené Aiko blaring just completely embracing how amazing my life currently was. That was until it wasn’t. I turned a corner, and immediately everything went black. The immediate tenebrosity was all I could feel, engulfing me in all its glory grabbing at my body trying to swallow me whole. I fought that I remember I fought, clawing my way out of nothingness, feening and scratching pleading to be let out.

All of a sudden I awoke completely confused and angry at the tons of bright lights and beeping sounds as my vision began to clear up. Was I dead?

I awoke after two weeks of being in a coma. I had suffered blunt force trauma to my head. That pain I immediately felt: they had shaved a portion of the side of my head to remove the bleeding in my brain, and that pain I was feeling as I was coming to my senses. My leg had been broken and 4 of my ribs were fractured and had punctured my right lung. That agony I felt as I tried to breathe.

When I fully came to my senses my room was flooded with people….who were these people?

“She’s awake” said one boy who was sitting directly ahead of me. All I could do was furrow my brows, why is he so familiar?

Everyone else had looked my way with red swollen eyes and a sad face. Who am I?

An older woman and older man had immediately called for a nurse

“y/n you had me so scared I thought I lost you” the blonde hair boy said. I’ve seen him before. Who is he? Who am I?

All I could do was look at them confused, really fucking confused.

The nurse had came in immediately taking my vitals

“How are you feeling y/n?” The doctor asked looking at me

“Who?” Was all I could say, as I looked around everyone’s face dropped filling with hurt and concern

“It’s all right you were in a really bad car accident two weeks ago, and your memory will be really bad for a while but with the help of your friends and their parents you should know exactly who you are shortly.” The doctor had said giving me a small smile

Who am I?

In a coma for two weeks? I’ve been stuck in total darkness for far longer….Who am I?

My severe accident was 7 months ago, and I was still struggling to this day trying to remember things and be my true self. Oftentimes Nick would bring up a memory we both shared, and it took some explaining before I could truly remember the exact memory. And when I did remember it was a faint memory almost like it wasn’t mine?

The boys showed me nothing but patience with helping me, after all I did suffer from a traumatic brain injury. The doctor had told them and myself that I may never be the same again. But I gave them hope when I would bring up a memory, or laugh at our inside jokes or even remember a memory either of them had brought up without needing an explanation. But that never lasted long. This feels wrong.

About a month ago I was cleared to travel. The triplets were so sweet staying in Boston for 6 months to make sure I made a full recovery when they could’ve left me to go back to LA. They only left for LA if absolutely necessary, and even then Mary Lou and Jimmy would watch over and make sure I was always okay. It was greatly appreciated but I felt so bad being a burden to their parents when I was just their friend.

We had just arrived in LA, and everything felt so new to me like I’ve never seen California before. But I kept that to myself acting like I’ve been excited for this for the past 4 months when in reality I have no idea why we’re in LA. Matt had been extra careful with me sitting with me on the plane and in the Uber to their house. I greatly appreciated him being so kind to me, but I felt this hurt and pain everytime he was near me trying to help me. This would result in me staring at him trying to read his face, and understand this weird feeling I got with him. There were these faint blurry memories of us, but it feels weird and I can’t really see them, but when I think back to them I’m filled with anxiety and hurt. I never let them know this though I painted a pretty good picture of being my old self…..but who am I?

Upon entering the triplets house I felt strange. I felt weird like this was not where I was supposed to be, but given my injury I brushed that feeling off. I walked into the living room as Nick, Chris and Matt brought the rest of everything in. Instantly I felt a weird sensation causing my back to straight and goose bumps to form all over my body. Almost instantly I heard “upstairs” faintly in my ear. I jumped a little bit and looked around. Matt took notice to this

“Hey are you alright?” He asked, looking at me a little confused. This caused Nick and Chris to turn back and look at me as well.

“Yeah I’m fine I’m just taking this all in. So glad I’m able to be back here with you guys….I didn’t think I would make it” I responded giving a weak smile

“Y/n were so fucking glad you’re feeling better we missed you so much” Chris said running over and engulfing me in a hug. This made me giggle

“CHRIS STOP put me down” I told him laughing loudly. He put me down laughing himself. I walked over to my bag and picked it up heading upstairs when Matt stopped me

“Y/n where are you going? You sleep with Chris” Matt said looking at me a little confused.

Why didn’t I remember that?? I just smiled at him “oh I know I just want to see your podcast room. I remember it wasn’t finished when I was last in LA” I told him. He just gave me a half smile and nodded.

I walked upstairs to the podcast room and immediately the hair stood up on the back of my neck. I felt like I was being watched. I looked around the room, and of course there was nothing there, but why did I remember this room so vividly? I was drawn to the blue seat for some reason, and once again as I sat down I felt shivers up my spine like someone was behind me. God my brain is so fucked from this accident.

Matt’s POV

“Dude something’s not right. Our podcast room has been done since before she went back to Boston.” I said to Nick and Chris

“Matt she suffered blunt force trauma to the head her brain will not remember some of these things. Just how she barely remembers very blatant core memories we’ve all shared with her” Chris told me grabbing a Pepsi out of the fridge

“Yeah Matt it’s slowly coming back to her maybe while she’s up there she’ll remember” Nick told me leaning against the sink

“No guys something’s off that’s not y/n” I said, shaking my head rubbing my eyes and letting out a sigh.

“I promise you she will be okay,” Chris told me, giving me a nod. All I could do was give a half smile and nod my head

Y/N POV

I’ve been napping in Chris’ room for about an hour when I started having a vivid dream of Matt and I.

Matt and I were in the kitchen as I was cooking something for him and his brothers. Him and I both crying laughing at some corny ass joke he said.

“Matt you’re so fucking stupid” I responded holding my stomach and wiping my eye trying to calm myself down

“Dude like why in the fuck would Chris say some shit like that to a girl” he said trying to calm down his laughing after he just made fun of Chris.

“Hey how much sauce do you want on your pasta” I asked him getting ready to put it on a plate for him

“Oh actually I’m going on a date tonight, so I won’t be eating” he said blushing a little bit

There’s that pang of anxiety and hurt in my stomach. Those are the memories

I immediately jumped out of my sleep gripping the side of my head that had been operating on. I just got a sharp stabbing pain and all I could do was squint my eyes shut and whisper “fuck” lowly. I decided to get up and head to the kitchen to eat something and take Advil. When I got up it was about 7pm, and I walked into the kitchen to a box of pizza with a note on the side that said

We went to film a car video and do some stuff at the warehouse! We didn’t want to wake you so we got you some pizza. See you later it read

I just sighed and opened the box taking a slice and grabbing some water and an Advil. I decided to go back to Chris' room and watch tv till I eventually fell asleep again.

2 AM Matt’s POV

I had been sitting on the couch scrolling on tik tok when I heard something drop in the kitchen. Instantly my head shot up to see nobody there. I decided to walk over to the kitchen to see what had dropped, and it happened to be an empty Pepsi can Chris left on the counter. Weird but not weird enough for me to get scared. That is until the kitchen sink turned on and off within 5 seconds. I just stared at it, and told myself I’m just tired and to go to bed. As I turned around to go upstairs Y/N was standing right behind me

“Holy fuck you scared me” I told her clutching my heart

“I’m sorry I didn’t mean to scare you” she said walking over to the kitchen table and taking a seat. She was off….very off

“It’s alright I scared myself a bit I thought I was seeing shit” I told her taking a seat across from her

“You weren’t see things” she told me avoiding eye contact

“Did you see it too?” I asked looking down at my phone as a notification went off

“I did it” she said now looking into my eyes

“I may be tired but I’m not fucking stupid. You didn’t do that I was looking right at the sink” I told her rolling my eyes

“I’m not sure who I am” was all she said as she looked at me once again

“Dude you’re really fucking scaring me, so if Nick or Chris put you up to this to freak me out then they won” I told her getting up to grab a water bottle

“You know she was right. I’m up there standing by the gum ball machine” she told me back looking down at her painted nails. Confusion plastered on my face until I remembered

Earlier today we did a podcast with Padi, a woman who’s able to speak with the dead. She had told us there was a female energy standing by our gumball machine watching us, but that she didn’t know who she was or how she got there. I wasn’t buying it at all. It's so easy to tell someone there’s a ghost in their house and make them believe it, but now I was getting a little concerned.

“Y/N I’m not sure what you’re getting at, but I think you need sleep” I told her getting ready to get up

“I’m not Y/N” she said furrowing her brows. Looking hurt

“Well then who are you” I asked her playing into this stupid game Nick and Chris probably made her do.

“Revenant” was all she said looking right through me. I went to speak but she cut me off.

“It’s what you become when you’ve been trapped for so long” she said giving me a weak smile

“I’m not following along, and this needs to stop you’re not revenant you’re Y/N” I told her getting frustrated

“You know something: she really likes you, and you hurt her. She kept feeling this awful hurt and anxiety anytime you were near her because she couldn’t remember these memories, but when I’m with her I see those memories clearly. These are not my memories, and when I’m out of her body tomorrow she won’t remember a single thing” Y/N said to me

“I’m confused” I told her getting a little stressed out

“These things I’m seeing right now these aren’t my memories these are hers, but when I’m in her I see the memories vividly” she repeats again taking a sip of my water

“How can you see memories that are hers, but she can’t see these memories” I asked genuinely confused

“I’m not too sure. I feel as one when I’m with her” she told me shrugging her shoulders

“ I think you should bring Padi back, she might be able to help us” was all she said before she blinked and a very confused Y/N was staring back at me.

“When did I come out here?” She asked looking around very confused

“The joke is over Y/N I’m not scared go back to Chris’ room and go to sleep I’m not feeding into this bullshit” I told her getting up and slamming the chair to the table

“Matt? I’m confused why are you upset with me” she asked with a sad look on her face

I just scoffed at her and went up to my room

Some time had passed a good two weeks, and weird things kept happening to me Y/N had kept her distance except at night when she would come to me in the kitchen as “revenant” and tell me things about my Y/N

I decided to call Padi and tell her I’m experiencing some weird issues to see if she could come back and help us figure out this Revenant/ Y/N issue.

Third Person POV

Matt had gathered Chris, Nick and Y/N to the podcast room after Padi had set her stuff up.

They all sat down, all very confused.

“Okay so Matt what’s the issue” Padi had asked smiling at the young boy

“Well about two weeks ago Y/N had come to me in the kitchen claiming her name was Revenant and that she was the ghost from this room inside Y/Ns body. At first I thought it was some sick joke between the three of them, but when Y/N wouldn’t speak to me during the day but then “revenant” would speak to me at night I was confused.” Matt had told the older woman

“Matt what the fuck is reallt going on” Chris and Nick both said

“Listen Matt whatever this bullshit is pertaining to me is fucked up and has to stop” Y/N said

“I agree so let’s see what Padi has to say about all this to really make sure yall aren’t in on some weird joke” I told them

Padis eyebrows raised and she immediately had something to say

“She’s here with us” Padi said looking around

“This is fucking crazy” Chris said rolling his eyes

“Yeah I fucking agree” Nick said a little annoyed and scared

“She’s saying her name is Revenant which means Ghost because that’s how she’s been living her life for some time now” Padi said

“Guys this is fucking insane” Y/N said laughing at how stupid we all looked

“She’s saying she had an instant connection with Y/N because in her body she was able to see these memories that Y/N couldn’t remember. Is this correct?” Padi asked us

“I mean I can remember, but it takes some convincing” Y/N said

“You heard something that night when you came up here. You heard “upstairs” in your ear” Padi told Y/N. The color immediately drained from her face

“That explains why you said you wanted to see the podcast room. Our podcast room had already been done before we went to Boston, and you had even filmed a mock podcast with us in here” Matt said looking at Y/N

“My brain was scrambled from the injury” was all Y/N said

“You heard it and you sat in that chair when you felt something standing behind you” Padi told her

“I mean I did, but I’m not following along” Y/N said now sitting up and closer to the table

“Y/N you can’t remember many things because these memories aren’t yours. You’re fighting for something that never happened. You had feelings but you couldn’t remember” Padi said

“Every times I’m near Matt I feel hurt and anxiety, but I could never see our memories” Y/N said glancing over to Matt

“Revenant says she gave you a dream showing you when that hurt happened” Padi said looking over at Y/N who now was trying to avoid eye contact with everyone

“She says she showed you the day you and Matt were in the kitchen laughing about a joke he made about Chris, and when you went to offer him food he told you he had a date. She describes how you felt hurt and like all those times you showed Matt how you truly felt it went over your head. She tells me you really like the kid and that’s why you’re sending anxiety and hurt” paid had told Y/N. At this point Y/N was looking down in embarrassment and Matt felt a blush creep up on his cheeks.

“She did show me that dream, but that’s not my memory I don’t remember that” Y/N said finally looking up at everyone confused as ever

Padi looks at Y/N in a questioning way, and then almost instantly has a light bulb moment.

“Would you let Revenant take over and talk for you” Padi asks, Y/N just slightly nods and looks down. Instantly her head snaps back up and looks around.

“I love doing that” Revenant said

“In her body what do you see” Padi asks

“I actually can not believe this is happening” Nick said shocked

“Shut the fuck up” Matt and Chris both said

“In her body I see everything. Every single memory is clear as day and this unconditional love for Matt, and this brotherly bond with Nick and Chris. This is why I like taking over her body, so I can chat with Matt because she won’t she’s scared, and when I talk to him I feel at peace” Revenant said who was actually Y/N?? Man who knows what’s going on right now

“I think I know what’s going on here” Padi said, smiling brightly. “Nick ask her a very specific question, maybe a memory that you’ve told her but in the past she couldn’t remember” Padi said looking at Nick, he nods and looks over at Y/N

“Do you remember last summer you came over, and you were balling your eyes out? Last time I asked you this was 3 months ago, and you told me you couldn’t remember, and I had to fill you in and then you did say you remembered, but I know you didn’t. Do you remember now what you were crying about?” Nick had asked looking at Y/N, instantly her eyes lit up and she nodded her head

“Oh this is embarrassing. I ran into your arms crying because I told you Matt would never see me the way I saw him, and all he did was rub it in my face how many dates he went on, and no matter how much I would do for him he just didn’t like me back” she said almost wanting to cover her mouth after

“Holy shit” Nick said looking back at Padi

She nodded and asked the same of Matt. Matt then said “Do you remember when you came back from that date, and I was being really mean to you and telling you that I hoped the relationship wouldn’t work out” Matt had asked

“Yeah I do, and once again I ran to Nick sobbing into his arms and asking him why you hated me so much” she said, eyes getting glossy as she looked down.

“Well I never meant that I was actually super jealous of the guy and so really wanted to go out with you instead of that loser” Matt replied back to her, her cheeks got so read and she flashed a big smile

“Well if it makes you feel any better I actually got stood up, but was too embarrassed to come home, so I stood out for an extra hour” Y/N said to Matt. But instantly everyone’s head perched up

“WAIT!” The three boys said in unison.

“What do you mean I, you just swud I? But you’re a fucking ghost” Chris said freaked out, and to this Y/N shrugged her shoulders and looked at Padi

“Well you see what happens is when two people are losing their lives and their souls are trying to get back to their bodies, sometimes the wrong soul attaches to the wrong body. This would explain why Y/N was never able to fully recover or remember anything that happened, and why she felt so attached to this podcast room” Padi said waiting for the boys to catch on

“So??” They all said

“Well you see while Y/N was in her coma her soul was fighting to get back to her body, but instead another dying soul ended up attaching itself to her body, and well Y/N actual soul came back to a second place she calls home which is this house! Although this was 7 months of her being here, to her ghost it would feel like eternity. And after a while you start to realize you’re probably dead therefore giving herself the name Revenant which is another fancy word for ghost ” Padi said to the four stunned people

“Now there is a way to get Y/N back to her actual body, and set that random soul inside of her free; because that soul probably doesn’t have its real body to go back to” she adds

“Well what do we have to do” they all asked

“Mmm you’re not going to like this idea and it may never work which means you’ll be stuck with a random soul who doesn’t know you, and Y/N will truly be dead forever” Padi said. They all looked at each other thinking of what to say

Matt started “I think we’ll…..”

To be continued

Pt. 1 this is kinda based on Layla by Colleen Hoover<3

HIIII everyone this was my first imagine after not writing for like 6 years, so please be nice to me🥹❤️

I love writing so much, and I hope yall enjoyed this I know it was a long read😙😙

[ourtearsofrain]

Slow It Down (D.R.W/S.F.K)- Chapter 12

Pairings: Danny Wagner x Sam Kiszka, (barely a mention of) Josh Kiszka x Male O.C.

Genre: angst, fluff

Word Count:  2.1k

Warnings: pain. Pain and suffering. So much angst (the girls are fighting [again])

--------------------------------------------------------

The second Danny’s mind stops short circuiting and he fully processes Sam’s words, his heart drops. “How many drinks have the twins made you?” He tries to play the question off as a joke, offering Sam a smile that didn’t reach his eyes fully, hoping he wouldn’t notice.

“None. Why?”

“None? Really?”

“Uh yeah… I’ve only had a White Claw, wanted to remember tonight and I knew if I drank something they made, I’d be shitfaced by 7 pm. Why do you ask?”

“Why did you say that, Sam?” The question causes Sam to misstep, nearly tripping as he forces his eyes away from Danny.

“We’re here.”

What? He can’t just ignore my question like that- Danny’s train of thought derails as he tears his eyes from Sam to see an old park before them, the setting sun turning the late summer sky vivid pinks and oranges. “Is this-?”

“Yep.” Danny can only stare at Sam in wonder as tears come to his eyes, Sam’s smile setting his insides on fire as he begins pulling him towards the swing set. He finally lets go of Danny’s hand to sit down on one of them, looking up at Danny expectantly, waiting for him to join him. “So, you remember?”

“How could I forget?” Danny pulls himself together long enough to take a seat, the rusty chains groaning as he settles his full weight onto the plastic. “This is where you brought me the day I moved in next door. You saw me sitting sad and alone on the curb as my parents moved our things in and you popped up over the fence, told me to just trust you and follow. We sat right here for hours.”

Sam smiles, his eyes bright at Danny’s sentimental words. “We did. I was afraid you wouldn’t remember that.”

“I’ll never forget it, Sammy. I never- I never told you how scared I was. Moving across the country with no friends, starting at a new school where no one knew me. I was so fucking afraid no one would want to be my friend; everyone would think I was this new weird kid.”

“I mean you weren’t half wrong. People did think we were the weird kids.” He tries for a joke, worried that if Danny kept talking like that, he’d be crying in no time.

“At least we were weird together.”

“Yeah… together. Wouldn’t change it for the world, Danny boy.”

“Me neither.” Neither man says anything for a while, watching the sun sink lower into the horizon, only the sound of the crickets chirping in the grass around them and the creak of the swings as they shifted in their seats to break the silence.

“Do you remember drinking in the parking lot by that trailhead?” Sam’s voice is quiet, slightly sad as the realization that Danny would leave him again slowly sinks in.

“Cross park? Yeah, weren’t we like 17?”

“Yeah.” His voice was distant, as if he were lost in his memories.

“Yeah…” Danny shifts in his seat, the silence uncomfortable as he recognized the shift of mood in his friend. “Remember that cop drove right past us making dead eye contact, and we almost shit ourselves?”

“Yeah, I do.” Sam finally laughs at the memory, but it comes out halfhearted, as if he were wishing they were stupid kids again, scrambling to hide the alcohol they shouldn’t have.

“Weren’t we supposed to go back there before I left for school?”

“Yeah, I think we were…” Sam trails off, his eyes finding the gravel beneath him, knowing that he had intentionally “forgotten” to go through with their plans, having been too wrapped up with handling the reality that his best friend was leaving him. “I guess I just got busy, I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine.” Silence falls between the pair once more as they separately grapple with their own feelings, not knowing what more to say to fill the hours until Danny’s departure.

“Why didn’t you visit until now?” Sam’s voice is flat, hurt lurking underneath the monotony as he stares at Danny.

“What?”

“Why did it take you almost three years to come back to Frankenmuth?”

Is he actually serious right now? “My life is in New York, Sam. That’s where my school is, my work and friends too. My parents have come over to visit at least twice a year since I left.”

“Yeah but- I wanted to see you.”

“Are you joking right now?” Danny tries to keep his tone even, anger beginning to boil in the pit of his stomach.

“No? Why would you ask that?”

“Because you have a really funny way of fucking showing it.” Danny snaps, no longer trying to hold back at Sam’s apparent ignorance. “You didn’t pick up my calls or call me back, you didn’t answer any of my texts, you cut me out of your life for three goddamn years with no explanation. How the fuck was I supposed to know you wanted to see me, Sam?”

Sam knew those words were deserved, he knew they were more than true, but they still cut him deep like a knife straight to the chest. “I- I know. I’m sorry. I was just-”

“You were just what, Sam?” Danny’s tone is cold, serious as he stares daggers at the man.

“I was just afraid.” He offers no further explanation, only furthering Danny’s anger.

“Afraid of what?”

“Afraid of how I felt for you, Danny. Because I loved you, I love you, and I fucked it up right before you left. I was terrified you hated me.”

Danny’s left speechless at his confession, his mind racing at a mile a minute as he tries to grasp his words. “What?”

“God, I thought I had been so painfully obvious all summer. Guess you’re just as oblivious as I’ve been.” Sam laughs dryly, his head dropping to rest his palms against his face momentarily. “Listen, if you don’t feel that way about me anymore, if you never did, I understand. We can just move past this, I just needed you to know why I dropped off the face of the planet. You didn’t deserve how I treated you.”

Do something, idiot. Danny snaps himself out of his daze, his mind still looping Sam’s confession in his head. “No, Sam. Please.” He gets up, moving to stand in front of Sam before dropping to his knees and gently pulling his hands away from his face, their positions forcing Sam to look at him. “I love you too. I always have, always will.”

Sam tries to respond, his mouth only opening and closing wordlessly before Danny pulls him down towards himself, their lips connecting in a searing kiss. Both men want to stay this way forever, their heaving breaths fanning across the others cheek as they drink each other up. After a few heated minutes, Danny finally pulls back, his forehead coming to rest on Sam’s as a smile graces his lips. “Come to New York with me.”

Sam’s eyes fly open at the words, leaning back as he tries to pull his hands from Danny’s, the other man finally opening his eyes to stare up at him in confusion as his hands find the skin of his thighs. “I can’t.”

“Why not, Sammy? Please. Please come with me. You can move in with Josh and I, he’ll be happy to have you so close, and Austin pretty much lives with us already. Please.”

“I can’t, Danny.” Sam repeats, tears coming to his eyes as he looks down at the man he loves.

“Please, I beg you. You won’t be alone, you can find a new place to call home. I can’t lose you again, not after finally getting you back. Please just trust me, you’ll be fine.”

“You won’t lose me, Danny. We can make this work with me here and you in New York.”

Danny drops his hands from Sam’s skin, his heart shattering at the words. “No. Sam, I can’t do that. I’ve wanted this for years, I can’t- I can’t do long distance.”

“Why not?”

“Because it would hurt too much, Sam!” Danny finally snaps, his patience running thin. “Why won’t you come to New York with me? Do you have any other reason than ‘I can’t’?”

“I-” Sam says nothing more, his eyes dropping as a tear runs down his cheek.

“Yeah, that’s what I thought.” Danny gets to his feet, turning to leave before Sam catches his wrist desperately.

“Wait-”

“Wait for what, Sam?!” He shouts, thankful that the park was empty so no one would hear what he was about to say as he rips his arm from Sam’s grasp. “Wait for you to stop being so goddamn afraid?! I’ve waited long enough for that.”

“Danny, please-”

“No. You know what, Sam? Now there’s nothing left to do but to finally tell you what you put me through.”

“What?”

“I made a whole new life, got a bit of distance and everything, hoping that would help. Saw the New York lights and I came right back after growing. But you’re still the same, Sam.” Danny takes a deep breath, his tears streaming down his face. He can see them, I don’t care anymore. He deserves to know how much he’s fucking hurt me. “You know, it’s almost funny, though it’s me who may be broken, it is you to blame. It always has been”

“You can’t- you can’t blame me for this.” Sam whispers, his voice breaking.

“Yes, I fucking can, Samuel. That night I kissed you, I bared my heart to you and you crushed it. You didn’t give me a chance to explain, you just left. I’ve been waiting for you long before that night, and I can’t keep holding myself back because of your fear. I can’t do this anymore, Sam. I can’t have just- just most of you. It’s killing me; you’re- you’re killing me. And I know now that I deserve better than to be strung along. I’m not something you can just play with when you want, only ever talking when I’m next door. If I can’t- if I can’t have all of you, then I’d rather have none of you. It hurts too fucking much. I’m so goddamn tired of staying silent to spare your feelings when you have never done the same for me.” Sam says nothing, looking up at Danny in the darkness of the night, the pale, rising moon the only thing illuminating the space as he blinks through his tears.

“That’s what I thought.” Danny mutters defeatedly, moving to walk away before stopping himself. “I wish I could go back in time to all those years ago, to the night before I met you, and tell myself what to do. To not follow you, to not fall in love, and to not wait around hoping you’d love me back. I’ve lost so much time, gone through so much hurt, waiting around for you. And when you find an old picture of us and you clear away the dust, I hope you miss me sometimes. I hope you hear and see me in everything you do, everywhere you go. And I hope it hurts just as much as you hurt me. You will never get away from the sound of the man that loved you.”

Danny turns, walking away from Sam without another word. After a few seconds, Sam shoots to his feet, beginning to trail after him. “Danny, please wait!”

“No.” He stops, turning to face him, the moonlight glinting off the angry tears pouring down his cheeks. “We could have been an ‘us’. Don’t bother trying to text or call, I’m blocking your number. This is the end, I’m done. Goodbye, Samuel.”

Sam freezes in his place, watching the other man leave for the final time. As soon as Danny disappears from his sight, he falls to his knees on the soft grass, wrapping his arms around his stomach as he bends towards the ground, sobs racking though his body. He knew Danny was right, that was what hurt the most. No, what hurt the most was that even after Danny had said everything he had, the only person Sam wanted in that moment, the only one he knew would be able to console and comfort him, was Danny.

He collapses onto his side as he curls into himself, feeling as if he just lost a piece of himself, fearing he would never be able to get it back.

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A/N: …I’m sorry

(Also yes, that was a good omens reference)

taglist: @gretnavannfleet @aioba1503-sdm @jake-whatthefisgoingon-kiszka @milojames16 @sanguinebats @theres-a-tvjoe @jakekiszkapunchmeintheface @currentlyfangirling10

[naitfall]

❝ Can you hear me? Get off the roof! ❞

❝ Be real and just jump, you dense motherfucker! ❞

vanilla sky au: A reality that's too good to be real— everyone who had once been dead is alive. Reincarnation they called it. Some had kept their memories, but most hadn't. The world of titans, had only become a fairytale. Levi remembers everything. Part of him can't believe he's deserved such a life: the friends he's known his whole life are alive. Those he fought with in the survey corps, and the brats he'd once take care of. Except, there's someone to disturb that dream.

‘ None of it is real. ’ Zeke whispers in his ear. ‘ It's a dream, and you need to wake up. ’ It doesn't make sense. Does he want to drive him insane? And yet, he can't forget these words. ‘ you need to go back. ’ He's following him, he's playing with him. Levi wants to kill him. But he doesn't know if he's telling the truth. Nightmares of the past, of his past life, become more violent, more vivid. What if he's telling the truth?

— How can I go back?

— You need to die first.

He needed to die first. To return to those who needed him. What if Zeke is lying? He's going to die. But if he's telling the truth, then he needs to return to the real world. He's playing a gamble, and Levi's never been good at those.

At the top of a roof he'd stand, the view of a city below his feet. Zeke's right next to him. To jump, or to kill Zeke instead? He's ready. Except, he listens to a voice—

Achilles Come Down

Achilles, Achilles, Achilles, come down Won't you get up off, get up off the roof? You're scaring us and all of us, some of us love you Achilles, it's not much but there's proof

You crazy-assed cosmonaut, remember your virtue Redemption lies plainly in truth Just humour us, Achilles, Achilles, come down Won't you get up off, get up off the roof?

[French language sample]

Achilles, Achilles, Achilles, come down Won't you get up off, get up off the roof? The self is not so weightless, nor whole and unbroken Remember the pact of our youth Where you go, I'm going, so jump and I'm jumping Since there is no me without you Soldier on, Achilles, Achilles, come down Won't you get up off, get up off the roof?

Loathe the way they light candles in Rome But love the sweet air of the votives Hurt and grieve but don't suffer alone Engage with the pain as a motive

Today of all days, see How the most dangerous thing is to love How you will heal and you'll rise above

[French language sample]

Achilles, Achilles, Achilles, jump now You are absent of cause or excuse So self-indulgent and self-referential No audience could ever want you You crave the applause yet hate the attention Then miss it, your act is a ruse It is empty, Achilles, so end it all now It's a pointless resistance for you

[French language sample]

Achilles, Achilles, just put down the bottle Don't listen to what you've consumed It's chaos, confusion and wholly unworthy Of feeding and it's wholly untrue You may feel no purpose nor a point for existing It's all just conjecture and gloom And there may not be meaning, so find one and seize it Do not waste yourself on this roof

Hear those bells ring deep in the soul Chiming away for a moment Feel your breath course frankly below And see life as a worthy opponent

Today of all days, see How the most dangerous thing is to love How you will heal and you'll rise above Crowned by an overture bold and beyond Ah, it's more courageous to overcome

[French language sample]

You want the acclaim, the mother of mothers (It's not worth it, Achilles) More poignant than fame or the taste of another (Don't listen, Achilles) But be real and just jump, you dense motherfucker (You're worth more, Achilles) You will not be more than a rat in the gutter (So much more than a rat) You want my opinion, my opinion you've got (No one asked your opinion) You asked for my counsel, I gave you my thoughts (No one asked for your thoughts) Be done with this now and jump off the roof (Be done with this now and get off the roof) Can you hear me, Achilles? I'm talking to you

I'm talking to you I'm talking to you I'm talking to you Achilles, come down Achilles, come down

[French language sample]

Throw yourself into the unknown With pace and a fury defiant Clothe yourself in beauty untold And see life as a means to a triumph

Today of all days, see How the most dangerous thing is to love How you will heal and you'll rise above Crowned by an overture bold and beyond Ah, it's more courageous to overcome

[blondie20000]

Love Never Dies - Wanda Maximoff x Stephen Strange

"Love never dies. Love will continue. Love keeps on beating when you're gone. Love never dies once it is in you. Life may be fleeting; love lives on! Life may be fleeting! Love lives on..."

Andrew Lloyd Webber, Love Never Dies.

.............

Stephen Strange." She greets him.

"Wanda? You're alive?"

Strange did his best to keep his voice calm and professional. His face is blank not wanting to express his shock.

Wanda stood across the room from him. Alive and well. The darkness in her is gone. Strange can see her fingers have returned to normal and color has returned to her cheeks. However in her eyes Strange can see the grief, the pain and the loss, feelings Strange knew all too well.

A flash of guilt goes across her face as she looks down. She takes a deep breath and looks up at him.

"I am." She replies.

It goes silent. They stare at each other. Last time they saw each other was Mount Wundagore, as enemies fighting each other. Strange's mission is to save the girl while Wanda planned to do the opposite. She was going to sacrifice the child in order to bring her own children back. Her family. Eventually her eyes opened and she realized what she has done.

What she became.

Monster!

That word has rang in her ears since Mount Wundagore. The horror on her sons' faces vivid in her mind. An image that will haunt her for the rest of her life. Wanda may have made the right choice by destroying the Darkhold but the bodies, all those lives she killed their blood was on her hands and she couldn't get rid of it no matter how hard she scrubbed.

She is a murderer. Death follows her, leaving bodies in its wake. All her loved ones have suffered because of her and now she had no one.

She is alone.

Wanda closes her eyes. She willed herself to stay calm and to not break down. For ages she focused on only one emotion. Anger. However now Wanda can feel all her emotions raging inside her, battling it out in her head. It hurt so much Wanda wanted to scream but she didn't, she wouldn't she needed to suck it up, appear strong. Keep the mask firmly in place.

Do not show weakness. She told herself.

"Wanda?" Strange's voice snaps her out of her thoughts. He gives her a cautious look. "Why are you here?"

Wanda rubs her arm. Her eyes scan the room.

"How's the child?" She asks.

"She's fine."

"Good." Wanda nods. "That's good."

Strange sensed there is something else the Scarlet Witch wished to tell him but he decided to not push her. He will let her to talk when she is ready to talk.

Wanda walks and runs her fingers along the books on the shelf. She has back to him. She then sighs.

"How do you do it?"

Strange frowns.

"Do what?" He asks.

"Go on with life knowing you can't be with the one you love."

That question knocked him off guard.

"Excuse me?"

"You know what I mean." She turns her head towards him. "You can't be with her. Every universe your relationship with her is doomed to fail."

Wanda didn't need to say her name for Strange to know who she is talking about. Strange sighs heavily.

"If that's what the universe wants, if that's how my life is suppose to go." He shrugs. "I can't fight it."

"But it is not fair." She shakes her head. "The universe is cruel."

"Life is cruel." He agrees with her.

"Life is a bitch." She glares at the ceiling. "What happened to balance? Free will? It is all a lie. No matter what I do the love of my life and my children are gone." She swallows. "I can't move on. I can't forget about them. Life is not worth living without them."

She looks down. Her fingers curl up into a fist. Her lips tremble.

So much for hiding her weakness.

Strange calmly steps forward. He goes to reach out to comfort her but decides against it. He takes a deep breath and folds his arms.

"Is that why you are here Wanda? You come to seek my advice?"

She lifts her head. Her face screws up with confusion.

"It does not bother you? Not being with her?"

"It does." Strange nods. "But like I said we are not meant to be and I have to accept the universe has other plans for me."

"Bullshit." She turns sharply towards him. "You do not believe that."

"I don't have a choice in the matter." Strange raises his hands. "We can complain, argue it will not change a thing. That is something you have to accept it Wanda."

"I do accept it." She answers. "I know they are not coming back but at least I feel, I mourn on what I could of had. You on the other hand show nothing. You claim you are okay with it but deep down you are not okay...not really." She eyes him up and down. "You are in denial. You refuse to acknowledge your true feelings on the matter." His lips press into a thin line. "I have messed up, I have regret the pain I have caused but I do not regret the mission. At least I gave a damm, I fought back, I tried to bring them back."

"And turned to the dark side because of it."

"A mother would go to extreme lengths to save her children." Wanda nods. "What have you done?" Her lips curl in disgust. "You haven't even tried to make a difference."

"I didn't lose my humanity." Strange glares at her. "As you know when you do fight you lose yourself in the process. It is not healthy."

"And sitting back and doing nothing is healthy? Continuing to live your life alone is healthy? Thought life was about taking risks. I took a risk and blew it but at least I tried and I wasn't a coward."

"I am not..."

Wanda places her finger on his lips.

"Don't lie to me." She whispers.

He sighs.

"What do you want from me?"

"To not be a hypocrite. Be truthful to yourself. Be human."

He scoffs at that.

She wasn't laughing

"You say you have humanity? Prove it? Show me how you really feel."

Strange hesitates. Wanda cups his cheek.

"I don't want to be alone. I admit to that. Do you want to be alone? You accept your fate?"

He again hesitates. Wanda looks up at him. Her eyes are pleading for him to be honest, to open up and admit he is not happy either show they are on the same page. If Strange did open up maybe Wanda would to. Confine in someone, let it all out. Wanda did need to let it out she couldn't hold it in much longer. If she felt like that Strange must feel it too. The dam threatening to break.

It is one of the reasons she decided to go to him. They may have been enemies once upon a time but Wanda couldn't deny there is a connection between them, they are same. The universe has screwed them both over, forbid them to be with the ones they love, grow in power but lose everything else in the process. They got to carry that loss with them for the rest of their life.

Wanda can see the tornado of emotions swirling behind his eyes. His jaw tightens and he grits his teeth. Wanda slowly nods. She ensures him that it is okay. She will not judge him, all she wants is for him to tell the truth.

"It's not hard." She tells him.

He grabs her hand where it still rested on his cheek. He increases his grip on her hand but she doesn't pull away.

"I'm not doing anything." She said sensing his suspicion. "I'm not forcing it out of you. I am giving you the choice to be honest with yourself."

"Wanda." He said his voice hoarse. He is struggling. Her presence caused those feelings he buries so deep to rise. The grief of his former life, the pain from the accident, the disgust he feels about his hands, the loss of Christine, and the heartbreak when he had to make the choice to let her go in order to keep her safe.

Anger.

Angry at the universe, the timeline, the path that was forced upon him that he had no choice but to follow, become the all powerful sorcerer and hero the people needed him to be, put everyone's needs above his own. His needs didn't matter anymore. His opinion didn't matter anymore.

He is a pawn and nothing more.

It is not fair.

Not fucking fair.

Strange loosens his grip on her hand. He drops his hand and runs it along his face.

"You're right I don't accept it. I hate it. I hate how this all works. I don't even know what I have done to deserve it." He barks out a laugh. "I done so much good in this world but this is what I get in return? I get nothing but more pain and suffering."

He again laughs. The laughter soon fades and his eyes start to turn watery.

"I miss her." He said his voice cracking. "Christine." Saying her name out loud caused a sob to rise in his throat. "Every universe...Every fucking universe we fail, if we are not meant to be then why do I fall in love with her? Why does every version of me fall for her?"

The words came tumbling out. Strange couldn't stop. He has bottled it up for far too long.

"Why?" He asks out loud. "I..."

I don't want to be alone.

He didn't voice it out loud. However, judging from Wanda's face he had a feeling she has read his mind.

Damm it.

He mentally curses her for causing him to break down like this. He didn't want to appear vulnerable or weak.

A look of relief passes across her face. Her reaction irritates him. This is all her fault. He was fine until she came along.

Fine? His inner voice questioned him. We know that's not true.

Strange sighs.

"Happy now." He places his hands on his hips. "You got what you wanted? Hmm?"

Wanda shakes her head.

"I didn't mean to inflict pain on you Stephen." She sighs. "I just wanted you to understand."

"I understand perfectly."

She steps forward. She tilts her head at him.

"I miss Vision." She said. "My relationship was doomed to fail from the start and I question myself why make me go through this? I realize now if I never met Vision I would have never known what true love would feel like. He brought me happiness. He made me feel human." Her intense gaze shifts on to him. Strange found himself going silent. It felt like she is looking right into his soul. "Everything he gave me, everything I shared with him I can give to someone else." Wanda slowly nods. "That way he will always be with me."

"You could do the same, spread your love, cherish it with others." She continues with a small smile. "It wouldn't be betrayal if we are doing it for them. Forever in our memory."

She places her hand on his chest. Her touch causes him to shiver. He knows he should pull away but as each second passed he found himself being drawn to her. Her words had a affect on him, made him see everything from a new perspective.

He has been alone for so long the need for company suddenly consumed him.

Strange tilts her chin back. He gazes into her eyes and imagines those are Christine's eyes looking back at him. That sweet memory is there within his reach.

While he saw Christine, Wanda saw Vision.

The love of their lives reflects back at them.

Love never dies. It lives on, through others.

Strange smiles and draws Wanda in for a kiss. Wanda kisses him, slow and tender. It has been such a while since she has kissed someone. It has been a while for Strange as well.

They take their time, feeling their lips brush against each other, tasting each other. Wanda moans when he sticks his tongue down her. The gentleness abruptly turning rough and eager. Wanda takes him in and wraps her arms around him. She pulls him in and allows herself to fall into this moment. This long blissful silence.

Eventually Strange pulls away and goes to her remove her dress. As he is about to do that, his hands start to shake. Strange curses. The familiar feelings of disgust and shame rise in him. His hands, his once perfect hands now couldn't even remove this dress.

Wanda gently takes his hand. She removes his glove and examines his scars. Even though Strange has accepted his injury he still couldn't bear to look at them. They reminded him of his old life.

Wanda rubs her thumb along his scars. She then brings his hand to her lips. She kisses his palm and rests it on her cheek. Wanda sighs as she felt the warmth from his hand. She leans into his touch, memories of moments similar to this come flooding back.

Vision cups her cheeks and smiles fondly at her.

"Have I ever told you I love you?" He asks.

Wanda smiles back at him.

"Many times."

"Really? To me it doesn't seem enough." He shakes his head. "I must tell you more often."

"Vis you tell me every day."

"I love you." He repeats with a laugh. "I will never stop loving you."

Wanda leans into his touch. Her smile widens.

"I love you too."

Wanda felt the tears forming in her eyes. This is what she hoped. She hoped she would still feel his presence. She does, she can feel him everywhere.

"I will be with you always." His voice echoes in her mind. "Share our love to those who need it, make them feel what we felt, make them happy."

Wanda nods. That's exactly what she is going to do. She is doing this for Vision but also for Strange. She gazes into Strange's eyes. He looks so vulnerable now. She did that, she made him like this.

He is opening himself up to me.

Wanda knows her and Strange are the same, she can feel their connection getting stronger. She will be there when the dam breaks, when he fully accepts what he has lost. When he does, she can let go as well. Wanda hopes he will do the same for her when she falls apart.

"Wan..."

"Shh." She silences him.

She reaches out and removes his other glove. Then her eyes glow red. Seconds later their clothes vanish from their bodies.

Strange is startled at first but Wanda points across the room where their clothes are, folded up on the chair.

"I didn't plan on making a mess." She tells him.

Strange on the other hand had other ideas.

He wraps his arms around her waist and lifts her up. She wraps her legs around him as he carries her over to the table. He flicks his wrist and all the items slide off the table and crash on the ground.

Wanda looks at him. Strange shakes his head.

"Wong can't know about this."

"My lips are sealed." She assures him.

Strange allows himself to relax and he slowly lies Wanda down on the table.

Strange steps back and looks her up and down. She is attractive. Strange had to admit.

But can I do this?

He hesitates. A wave of unease goes over him. This is completely out of his comfort zone.

"Face your fears." A familiar voice whispers in his ear.

When Strange looks down again he didn't see Wanda.

He saw Christine.

A sharp intake of breath, Strange felt his world spinning. He mumbles her name. Pain goes across his face.

Christine smiles softly at him.

"Face your fears." She repeats.

Strange closes his eyes. He can still remember their conversation. In the other universe, the other Christine he admitted to her how he truly felt. He is scared to care for someone, scared to allow someone to care for him. She touched his cheek and told him those three words.

"Face your fears."

He looks down at her again.

Christine nods, giving him her permission, assuring him that it is okay to do this.

He did not want to be alone.

Not anymore.

He blinks.

Wanda is looking at him.

Wanda is here for him.

Despite what happened between them, Strange wants to be there for her as well.

It is time to face his fears.

Allow himself to feel again.

Be human.

Stephen leans down and brushes his lips against her stomach. He kisses her. Wanda sighs as he continues to kiss her. He kisses every part of her, allowing himself to enjoy this moment with her.

His hands grasp her breasts. He fondles them, squeezes them, teases them. Wanda gasps when he bites down on her nipples. He tugs at her nipples, sucks them. It wasn't long before his lips returned to hers again.

He claims her mouth with his own. She bites his lip, causing him to groan. Blood forms on his lip, but it didn't bother him. Wanda licks the blood and grins. She takes him in her hands and stares right into his eyes.

"Fuck me!" She growls.

He nods. His eyes go dark with lust.

"As you wish."

Stephen positions himself between her thighs. His eyes remained locked on hers as he slowly goes in. Wanda gasps as she felt him go inside her. He smirks at her reaction.

Then he starts to thrust her.

Stephen went in hard and fast. He thrusts her with all his strength knowing so well she will be able to handle it. She is the Scarlet Witch, a fighter, a survivor, nothing can stop her.

She is powerful.

Stephen respects her for it.

Wanda gives him a wicked grin, delighted by this sudden turn of events, relieved that they are going all out here. Wanda did not want to take precautions, she did not want to be careful, she wants to let it all out, she wants to be quick, she wants to keep going until they are both breathless. The thought of him panting like an animal, growling for her, wanting her, all it made Wanda feel turned on.

"Yes!" She yells. She throws her head back and enjoys every grunt, every moan, every growl that escapes his throat.

Vision was an animal in bed.

She loves hearing her animals roar.

She pushes herself into Stephen, she curses out loud, and her eyes blaze red. Their hands connect. Sparks of magic bounce of each other. Chaos magic and sorcery combining together as one. His hands start to shake again, but Wanda grasps his hand tight, grounding him. She assures him she is here and she will not let go.

Stephen responds with another hard, mighty thrust. A look of understanding passes between them.

"Fuck them!" Wanda said. "Fuck the universe! Fuck fate!"

He pulls her forward. His hot breath on her face causes a chill to go down her spine. His lips tug upwards. His eyes shine bright.

"Fuck it all." He grins.

Their loved ones couldn't be with them physically but they can be with them in spirit. Their love for them will live forever in their memories and their hearts.

The universe could not take that away from them.

Stephen feels the fire forming at the bottom of his belly. His eyes go wide as the orgasm takes over. Wanda grips his hand, daring him not hold back. She wants to hear that roar, that release.

"Go on." She encourages him.

He does.

He releases it. All of it. He screams to the top of his lungs. His cum spills all over the table. Stephen takes a deep shaky breath, his body is shaking. He felt something else as well, he felt full, content. A weight has been lifted off his shoulders. He also felt proud of himself. He took Christine's advice and faced his fear.

He is not afraid anymore.

Wanda scoops the cum up with her finger and sucks on it. Her eyes sparkle with mischief. Stephen can already feel himself going hard for her again.

Damm this witch.

Reading his mind, Wanda's hand goes on his cock. Her fingers brush his hardened length.

She laughs.

"So easy to tease." She shakes her head. "Oh sweetheart." She guides him inside her again. She smirks.

Wanda is happy to ride it out again.

They repeat the pattern. Fuck each other until no one could form a coherent sentence. Wanda is panting now, sweat is pouring down her. He licks up her sweat, coated skin. His hot tongue against her cool, wet skin made her cry out. It causes a jolt of electricity to go through her. That feeling goes all the way down to her knees.

Her thighs shake, her knees threaten to buckle. Stephen notices this and chuckles.

"Falling apart already darling?"

She grits her teeth. Her nails dig into his skin. The need to let go consumed her. Her eyes widen, her lips tremble. She silently communicates to him that she needs him. She wants to be reassured that he will return the favor.

Stephen lifts her chin and nods at her.

He will be there when she let's go.

He will catch her when she falls.

Wanda makes the decision to trust him.

She then let's go.

She screams.

The dam explodes.

The emotions all come flooding out

She keeps going until there is nothing left.

Few moments later, Wanda cries.

She sobs loudly, tears stream down her cheeks. Stephen carefully lifts her up and carries her over to the couch. He sits down with her head on his lap. He strokes her hair and remains silent.

Eventually Wanda stops crying. She takes a deep breath and wipes the tears away. A box of tissues form in Stephen's hands.

"Here."

He places the box next to her.

"Thank you." She replies.

She grabs a bunch of tissues and wipes her eyes. She blows her nose causing the sorcerer to laugh.

"Charming." He said.

She tosses the tissues into the trash and sighs loudly.

"That felt so good." Wanda said.

He nods.

"I agree with that."

Wanda sits up and waves her hand.

The clothes return to their bodies.

"Uh, thanks." He said, sounding awkward.

She responds with a shrug.

"You must be hungry?" He said. Her stomach rumbles. He laughs at that. "I take that as a yes then."

He stands up.

"What about the mess?" She asks.

He rolls his eyes and waves his hand.

The table becomes clean, and the items return to their original positions.

"No problem." He grins. Then his face turns serious. "But Wanda, I am serious when I said Wong can't know about this."

"I hope our paths do not cross." She grimaces. "He will not be pleased to see me."

Stephen couldn't argue with her on that. She is right. Wong wouldn't be happy to see her.

"So food?" Stephen said, changing the subject.

"Want some help?"

"Sure." He points at her hands. "Wash your hands first."

She rolls her eyes. He shakes his head. "I mean it, no food until your hands are clean."

"Old habits never die, huh?" She said. "Dr Strange?"

She is referring to his former job. The days when he would scrub his hands for surgery.

Stephen folds his arms.

"It is basic hygiene, Wanda."

"I know." She raises her hands and smiles. "I know."

After washing her hands, Wanda joins Stephen in the kitchen. Stephen watches her as she chops up the vegetables. It fascinated him seeing the Scarlet Witch doing something so mundane.

Sometimes Stephen forgot what it is like to have a normal life. The concept of a normal daily life seemed so foreign to him now.

Yet here he is with Wanda making dinner. This felt like a dream. It didn't seem real.

It is real.

What they did, the sex, that was real as well. All this is real.

He then saw Christine's smiling face. She bumps her hip against his as she goes around the kitchen.

He turns round and goes to follow her.

Wanda looks over her shoulder. She gives him a small smile.

"It's okay." She said. "I see Vision all the time. I am seeing him now as we speak."

She read his mind.

Stephen shakes his head.

"Wanda, we need to set some boundaries."

"Hmm?"

"The mind reading needs to stop. It is an invasion of my privacy."

She puts down the knife.

"I'm sorry." She said. "It just happens. I can't exactly switch it on and off. You are an open book to me."

"We'll work on it." He assures her. "We'll figure it out okay?"

She nods.

"Okay." She said quietly.

Stephen hesitates.

"Are we doing the right thing?" He asks.

"You know the answer to that question Stephen."

He sighs and runs his hand through his hair.

"It feels wrong but also feels right?"

"Yes." She raises an eyebrow. "You want to stop this?"

"No."

He is sure on that. He didn't want this to stop.

Stephen rests his hand on hers. Wanda locks her fingers with his.

After several beats of silence, Stephen said.

"We got this?"

Wanda squeezes his hand. She smiles at him.

"We got this." She answers.

We got this.

The End