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paintersknife · 24 days ago

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"i don't like you because you're cute"

You'd think after not seeing each other for long, your relationship with Cael - an old classmate - would have changed. For the better or worse, it's up for you to find that out at the class reunion party. Let the 7 year old flower bud bloom between us now, before you leave and I never see you again. (Loosely inspired by the otoge Hanakare's "Nandina" storyline, and the song "好きだから." For those who plan on playing the game please proceed with caution.)

"it's because you're cute I like you" pt.2 (upcoming)

(former classmates!AU, deskmates, young cael, adult cael, cael x reader, reader is mc, pining, longing, word dump, friends to lovers ig?, 4.1k+ words)

One day, you asked me for advice on a boy.

Pressing my palms up against the fogged up windows of the cafe, I watched you sketch up against the napkin printed with reindeer patterns on the cafe wall because the table you used was dirtied with strudel crumbs and spilled hot chocolate. On that cheap but cute little thing, you drew a flower I thought was meant for me.

But once you were done, you would throw it away to the empty corner of the classroom we shared.

At that moment, for the very first time, I decided to run away. I've regretted that day ever since.

You were my heroine, I wasn't your hero.

At least that's what I believed then.

You were running late.

Holding up your phone, you checked the time. It's 7:56 p.m, only four minutes to 8 p.m, the original meeting time that all of you had previously agreed on.

"Of all the times..."

You glance out the bus, only to be greeted with the sight of heavy snow falling from the sky. It falls down endlessly, blanketing the roads in white and...

"I truly apologise for the delay. I hope that all passengers can understand the reason for our inconvenience and take the time to admire the scenery outside instead.

'I don't have the time for that!'

Though it seems you are one of the rare ones in a rush, every other passenger being surprisingly patient about the situation. All you can do right is get back to your seat and endure the long, torturous wait. Whatever happens, you'll just have to apologise to them.

Still, you'd be lying if you said this entire situation was unwelcomed.

You sit down slowly, and place a hand over your racing heart. You're nervous, afraid...

Because you're going to see Cael again.

'When was the last time we contacted each other?'

The image of a beautiful boy with hair as pure as silver resurfaces to the front of your mind, like it always does.

But time is cruel, and humans imperfect. The longer the years stretch between past and present, the blurrier the scenery of your first love becomes, washing away like paint to water.

You've tried grasping on to that fading image the best you can, like holding a handful of sand, watching the grains slip past your fingers the tighter you hold on to them.

"Sigh..."

You place your hand against the window and watch as the condensation melts away at your touch, creating a hand print on the frosted glass. It acts like a frame to the world outside, and through it, you see the street lamps light up a winter wonderland.

You blow against that shape, covering it up.

"Next stop..."

You hear the bus driver announce your destination, and check your phone again to look at the time.

It's 8: 15 p.m.

You shake your head exasperatedly. Though you suppose it could be worse.

The bus passes through the colourful shops that line the streets, heading to the stop nearest to the restaurant where your classmates had decided to gather. It was a small one, with good food and a reasonable price, especially for those gathering in large groups.

They said it was Cael who recommended the place.

You feel the train slow down, and internally fret, worried that you may be delayed longer for whatever reason. Those worries of yours become unfounded however.

"Arriving, Chinatown."

You sigh in relief instead of frustration this time. In muted celebration, you idly decide to draw a tiny little flower on the windows but...

You see him. Standing in the middle of the flower frame made with heat against snow by your hand, you see Cael.

"!"

The bus screeches to a stop, and you quickly grab your bag to rush out. Not in panic, but in excitement.

"Cael!"

He stands there, draped in elegant but warm clothes by the street. Behind him, you see the name of the restaurant flashing in bright neon colours, and the distance between you closes, measured by the trailing footprints sunken within snow covered streets.

Instinctively, you ran to him without thinking, and it gives you little thought for what you should say first. Which is why you now stand before him awkwardly, eyes locked with each other, and the both of you surrounded by snow and neon lights.

"How have you been?"

The question he asks you for the first time in 7 years is a tentative one.

"Um, just fine..."

You're not sure what this feeling in your chest is. It felt like popping candies were exploding into flavours of sweetness in your chest, shaking you from the inside and rendering your entire being nervous.

"How have you been, Cael? It's nice to see you again."

You hold out your hand for a handshake, and he takes it, smiling with eyes so serene.

You also notice his hand shaking.

"Well enough."

The distance between the both of you seems to have grown longer, as well as incredibly short.

Is this what happens to people after 7 years?

"Well then, shall we go in?"

By his invitation, you nod and let go of his hand.

"Alright, I'm looking forward to it!"

The both of you unconsciously synchronise your movements, turning around to enter the restaurant from the front entrance and leaving behind the snow-white world, entering the hazy love story of today.

You are thankful that it doesn't take long for the both of you to get comfortable with each other; the moment Cael brings up the days where he'd shove your books back to your side whenever they crossed over to his, the awkward and strange tension melts away like butter to heat, to something else oh so sweet.

"I didn't notice this before, but your hair has grown almost ridiculously long. If our teachers were here, they would have gone on a riot!"

It has grown rather long, the ends of his hair much like silver threads reaching past his knees, but you'd rather die than admit he looks even more stunning than he did before to his face. Hearing your indignation, he chuckles.

"But being a star student has it perks. They probably would have let me get off scot free."

"Unfair!"

The both of you chat about the times you can't remember clearly as you make your way inside the restaurant.

"And I thought you were weird enough, your hair was still considered pretty long even back then when you tied it into a ponytail. So seeing it grow longer is..."

You try to find the right words but Cael offers them to you before you can.

"Does it look good?"

"..."

You lose your voice and stare at him, mouth slightly agape.

"...You've got a lot of confidence, don't you?"

Cael hums lightly, and lifts the beaded curtain to the room reserved for the class reunion.

"I'll take that as a yes."

You go in first, and sense Cael slowly following you from behind. It makes you nervous. Just when you thought the familiar air between you two from the times you've shared was retrieved from the bottom of your memories, he goes on ahead and creates an atmosphere you're not sure how to describe.

He's never acted like that before. Of course, there was that smug confidence that has made you want to punch him more than your hands could count but...

There was also the way he looked at you.

You groan, and slap your cheeks. Ignoring the questioning gazes from around you.

'Get a grip! You're meeting up with some old friends in a long while and-'

And what?

"Hey! If it isn't the Vice President!"

"?!?!?!"

A loud voice pops out from your side, and you skitter a few steps back.

"WILLIAM!!! Don't scare me like that!"

"Whoops, sorry!"

'He doesn't look sorry at all.'

This particular old-classmate of yours has always given you grief. Still, you're grateful to him. If it weren't for William, you wouldn't have been invited to this gathering at all. After you graduated from high school, you had lost contact with pretty much all of your old friends. It just so happened that the both of you worked at the same office, and that William was a huge social butterfly.

So as much as you hate to admit it, you owe him one.

"And Cael! Finally, you came back in! I was wondering what was taking you so long but you were waiting for her outside, huh?"

"Yes."

Whipping out your phone discreetly, you check the time. It's 8:40, which means Cael has been standing out in the cold all by himself for at least 35 minutes, waiting for you.

He's been waiting for you all this time.

You feel guilty. When you first met up with him in front of the restaurant, you were far too overjoyed with the reunion to question what on earth was he doing standing in front of the restaurant all alone in the first place. Now you regret not having taken notice of it earlier, and contemplate on fussing over him.

But you're not given enough time to dwell on it, as Cael makes his way across the room to stand at the centre of the eastern-decorated space. You watch as the crowd naturally parts around him like the sea did to Noah, and as always, he centers himself at the apple of all eyes, unabashedly holding himself with the same confidence he did 7 years ago.

"Thank you all for coming today, and making time out of your busy schedules to bring here the reunion we now share today."

He didn't need microphone, nor did he need to raise his voice. His very presence is something that captures the attention of everyone, and draws their interest effortlessly.

"Originally, I hadn't planned to be the one to organise this gathering, but I figured this would be the perfect opportunity to reconnect with bonds from the past."

Cael wasn't someone who liked social gatherings, but as the former Class President, this speech comes to him as easy as they always do.

This time, there is no need for you to stand by his side.

"I do hope that this allows some of us to grow closer, and..."

You make eye contact with him, and muse bitterly at this almost miraculous turn of fate.

"...For us to form new bonds."

It was just one year, one year they had spent with each other as classmates, deskmates, and the leaders of their class.

Yet those feelings seem to have been budding secretly beneath a blanket of snow that the both of them didn't have the heart to remove, but that's okay.

'I can still do it now.'

No matter what, this chance shall not be wasted.

The night that dances after is long and beautiful, sometimes stagnant, sometimes worrying, but it all ends wonderfully. Because of him.

"Haaaa..."

You hear William groan, stretching his arms.

"Well then, I'll be leaving now. Take care."

"Right."

"Take care."

Both of you and Cael almost speak in unison. Looking at each other as you do so, the both of you can't help but laugh lightly. Its late, but there are still those that stick around, unwilling to part, wanting to take the extra time to catch up with each other.

You play with the rest of your food on your plate, and roll around a misshapen dumpling you've poked several holes in on accident in an attempt to pick it up. Using a spoon, you opt to scoop it up instead.

"Do you like the food here?"

"Hrmmm?"

You're halfway through your bite, and quickly try to swallow it down to answer him.

"Hack-! Ah, yeah..."

Your answer is slightly awkward, but you move past that.

"How about you? I didn't expect you to recommend this place."

The food is as authentic as they get when it comes to having Chinese food far out in the western city. At your answer, he smiles lightly.

"I just so happen to stumble across this place while I was wandering around. An interesting steal if I do say so myself."

"I think what surprised me more was you planning the event."

When it came to excursions or events, you were always the one who took the proactive approach. It's not as if Cael had ever shied away from his duties as Class President, but he wasn't particularly fond of these kinds of events either.

You hear a soft clink as Cael puts away his chopsticks on his bowl.

"I wasn't exactly keen on planning it at first, until I realised it would be the only way I could see you again. William came up to me with the idea, and when he mentioned your name, I guess you could say I was more interested than I was before."

"Oh..."

You were surprised, embarrassed, but more than all of that, happy. So, so happy.

Because it meant that the both of you were thinking of the same kind of thing. The both of you had shared a desire to see each other through this reunion.

Cael gestures a waiter over to ask for a pot of tea, and you watch as he takes the porcelain pot from the offered tray with the same elegance he wore as he took away his stolen pen from you. He tips the pot over and tea pours out in a small stream, straight into the intricately decorated tea cup he has placed in front of him.

You watch too intently however, and when he glances back up at you, you can't help but quickly look away.

'Ah, he caught me.'

You pretend to play it cool, but see him smile at you with amusement out in the corner of your eyes.

'And I thought I was being sneaky.'

"You used to watch me like that when we first sat next to each other, didn't you?"

'Ah, shit.'

You realize now, that he has always caught your stolen glances.

But it was true, back when you first met him, you couldn't help but admire the boy that looked too alike of an angel out of a painting, though that admiration was quickly crushed by the growing sense of subtle competitiveness between the both of you.

You laugh aloud nervously, instinctively reaching to the back of your neck, trying to rub away the uncomfortable heat that seems to have spread out from nowhere, "Ah...hahahaha! I don't know what you mean!"

He cocks an eyebrow at you, lips curving into a subtle grin, "Sure."

'...Dammit! Why does it feel like I lost here?!'

"Here."

He pushes a cup of tea towards you, catching you off guard. But you take it anyways, eyes following the way the tea bounces and sloshes within that small cup.

You take a sip, and you relax as the sweet aroma sweeps your fatigue away. Seeing at how content you've become, Cael starts to speak.

"I know that this may seem sudden but..."

It is sudden, but at the same time, it's not. It was something you'd expected, but never thought it'd happen.

"Do you mind if we talked alone later somewhere else? That is if you had nothing else planned."

His eyes pierce through you, and yours back into him. In those hazy irises of brilliant tanzanite, you see something reminiscent that of insecurity.

"...Why does the former Class President look so afraid?"

You couldn't help but blurt this question out. He is not offended whatsoever, and you see his smile falter, the curve of his eyes softening into a more bittersweet look.

"Because I am."

You take a good look around you. As of now, the both of you share a table to yourselves. You notice someone else get up and say their goodbyes, leaving less than 5 people occupying the near-empty hall.

"Does it have to be somewhere else? We could just wait until everyone leaves."

"..."

Cael gives the room a quick sweep of the eyes before he looks back at you.

"It's too large in here. With whatever I'm going to say, I want to make sure you hear it properly."

You feel your throat growing dry, heart beating faster as you weakly try your best to manage an; "Okay."

"Is a bar nearby fine with you?"

You chuckle to yourself, "Will you be drinking beer?"

The image of Cael downing down a large glass of beer makes your sides hurt, and your soft chuckles turned into restrained fits of giggles as your imagination gets wilder. Seeing you laugh at him, Cael shakes his head at you with exasperation.

"There are more ways than one to enjoy yourself at a bar. Now, come on."

He rises up, and makes his way across the table to you to offer his hand.

"If you could take down those cans of beers you drank secretly all those years ago, then I'm more than sure that you can handle the stronger of wines."

At such a provocation, you take his hand.

"I guess I'm not going to see you drink beer tonight."

You throw out that comment absentmindedly as you walk into a surprisingly simple but elegant bar with Cael hand-in-hand. Hearing your comment, he sneaks a peek at you and hums lightly.

"Would you like to see that? I don't mind trying."

"Really?!"

You turn to him in excitement, the answer "yes" dancing on the tip of your tongue.

"Why not?"

'If it makes you laugh and smile,' Cael thinks to himself.

"Though keep in mind I may not fit within your expectations. No doubling over in nausea or happy drunk mumblings for you this night."

"...Right."

The both of you take a seat at a booth set off at the side of the wall, and ask the waiter for the menu.

"If you're already full, there's no need to order any appetizers, or food," Cael shrugs off his winter coat, and folds it up neatly before laying it over his lap. "Even just one drink would be fine."

You take the menu from the waiter's hands and pretend to pour over the selection of drinks. A million thoughts race through your head in milliseconds as your thoughts turn into intrusive ones. You're not drunk, yet. You have no excuse for the question you're about to ask but...

It is as they say, strike while the iron is hot...right?

"But wouldn't your lover be upset if you went out drinking alone with someone else?"

Maybe you got the saying wrong. No, you most definitely got it wrong.

"...I don't have a lover."

Mission succeeded, subtleness failed miserably. You feel his eyes burning at you through the menu which you now behind in an attempt to obscure your rosy face, and quickly clear your throat while wracking your brain for a topic to deflect to.

"Oh wow, lucky huh! I don't have one either so I was worried if this could have caused any problems...."

Your voice grows increasingly smaller as that stupid brain of yours digs a hole further through the trenches with your blabbering mouth.

'You're a freaking idiot,' you scold yourself internally.

"...Haha."

He's laughing. You're dying on the inside from embarrassment and he's laughing. His eyes are curved into moons and you see the rarest of rare instances where Cael shows more than his usual perfect smile. It is replaced by something more sincere–almost drunkenly affectionate–and you can't remember the last time you saw that soft tilt of a smile on his lips.

Still, you can't help but feel that familiar, yet almost long-forgotten feeling of irritation bubble up in your chest, "What are you laughing at?"

"Hahaha...I was just thinking that this was very much like you."

"...Is that a good thing?"

"If it's you, then anything's more than just 'good'."

Unable to stand it, you call a waiter over to give him your orders. But really, you're just reading the first thing off the list, too distracted to think straight.

'Why does he keep saying things like that?'

It makes your heart burst into sparks of joy, and you feel undeserving of it.

'Please, don't say anymore or else I'll...'

Or else the regret and guilt you've carried in your chest for almost 7 years will only grow stronger into something almost unbearable.

But seeing as how he invited you here alone, maybe there's a chance that this lingering regret of yours is shared with him, as horrible as that may make you sound.

"...Thank you, Cael."

The fault lies with you alone, that's what you should believe in.

If the emotions hidden within your downcast gaze concern him, he doesn't say anything, and closes the menu in his hands softly.

"You must have been surprised that I invited you out all of a sudden."

The waiter comes back to take Cael's order, and you see him hand the menu back to him before addressing you once again.

"Before today, we didn't really talk with each other all that much. Others may say different, but we were always more competitive than most, and had a lot of small spats..."

You chuckle to yourself for the second time of the night, and remember the days where you challenged him to silly little fights over where your eraser should stand, on your desk or his. "Well, I guess that's true. But they were always one-sided on my part. Whether I won or lose, the only one that seemed to really care about those "competitions" was me."

"You weren't the only one."

"..."

His words carry a subtle meaning, one not missed by you. The implication of it is not unfamiliar to you at all, but even then, it makes your heart race all them same, as it always did.

"Maybe I cared about them in a different way than you did, but those small fights...were important to me. At least that's what I realized after we parted ways."

So all you could do was listen to him, his words and feelings spilling out like a candy jar tipped over, baring everything everywhere for you to see.

"I hadn't realised back then how precious it was to even talk to you properly then. And before I knew it, we couldn't talk at all."

Even with those strong feelings, the both of you had promptly lost contact with each other the year the both of you had moved to different classes, mainly because...

"...Can I ask you a question, Cael?"

The waiter comes back with your drinks on tray, and the both of you stay silent until he's done placing down your orders on the table. Until your sure he's out of the earshot, Cael nods his head and says, "Go ahead."

"Did you...resent me? For closing everyone off back then?"

He tilts his head at head in mild surprise, lips parting slightly as if the idea itself were absurd, before shaking his head gently.

"No. How could I?"

And just like that, you feel that sickening feeling of anxiety deflate within you, his words a magical cure to your ailment.

Putting aside his drink, he reaches into his pocket to retrieve something, "So that's why, if you'd let me say the words I couldn't before..."

He reaches out his hand towards you, holding a worn-out napkin with printed reindeer patterns and sketched wisteria flowers in his hands.

"I liked you, I still do. No, maybe those aren't the right words to say..."

And so, Cael says the words he's always wanted to aloud.

"I love you."

"..."

"I've been in love with you for 7 years."

You feel your heart throb painfully at his confession, as well as at the sight of the napkin you had tried pocketing your feelings into in the form of wisterias, before you threw it away in the lonely corner of the art room back in school.

"I didn't have the courage to ask you for your new phone number back then when we graduated from high school, with everything you were going through, but I won't miss my chance now."

He places the napkin in front of you.

"I don't have to be your special person, or someone important. But if we keep in contact, I can be there for you whenever you need me."

'If only I had the courage to be by your side in those times you lost the person precious to you', Cael thinks.

"Let me support you when you need it. But if it makes you feel uncomfortable, you're free to reject me by all means."

"...Reject?"

You couldn't help but laugh, and Cael watches you with wary eyes as bittersweet giggles slip past your lips.

"Hahaha.....the one that should be worried about rejection is me..."

'For the time we've wasted apart from each other.'

"Hey, Cael? How about we scratch that plan and..."

But you will not be a coward this time. It is as they say, time heals. It's healed you, somewhat, so there's no excuse for you to run, not that you had planned to anyways.

"...and start dating each other instead?"

"...!"

You smile back at him, letting your emotions take over you.

"Because the one that's deepest in love is me."

'Ever since you smiled that lonely smile in the school art room...'

"I love you, Cael. Please, go out with me."

SUPER HAPPY LATE BIRTHDAY, @paintersknife !!! I really wished I got this out sooner, but hey! There's gonna be a part 2, mainly because said part 2 was the reason why I was struggling.

#<3 #this is honestly way too cute cerize

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