#and the horrible effects of deforestation

[dead-pidove-do-not-eat]

Does anyone else have that issue where they get inconsolable about extinct species and animals?

[drakorn]

Rewriting Veilguard Part 4 - The Veil Jumpers

Rewriting Veilguard Part 3 - The Grey Wardens

Disclaimer: I don't hate the game, I actually think it's quite great given the development hell Bioware went through in those 10 years. This is more of a hypothetical universe where there was less of that behind the scenes drama. Just a fun writing exercise.

Writing an Origin Story Mission for the Veil Jumpers

The Veil Jumpers are…interesting, the way they are presented in the game right now. At first you might assume they are Dalish, but then they are not, or at least not anymore, because they let anyone join their group. Then they all seemingly know about the true nature of the Evanuris and actively oppose them.

I have to admit, when the one faction that strictly deals with matters of the ancient elves and has the most visible Dalish influence, I expected a bit…well…more Dalish behaviour, I suppose. When I saw how Strife and Irelin responded to the Evanuris returning, I had a bit of a “…huh…” reaction. I expected at least some elves to have a crisis of faith, and Bellara contemplating how horrible this is for one or two scenes does not really count in my opinion.

So, in the Veil Jumper origin story we are about to experience, we have to tackle the following questions in a satisfying manner:

Why do so many seemingly Dalish elves allow outsiders into their midst?

Why does everyone apparently know of the Evanuris’ true nature?

Why does not a single elf have any kind of crisis of faith upon learning that their gods are evil?

At least one of these questions is going to be answered with “this doesn’t happen in the rewrite." I’ll let you guess which one it is.

So, without further ado, let us experience a potential Veil Jumper origin story!

Creating Rook

For a third time, let us press the start button. This time, we choose the Veil Jumper origin, and the little blurb text reads as follows:

“You are a Veil Jumper. This daring group explores ancient elven ruins in Arlathan Forest. Initially founded by the Dalish, they now, albeit reluctantly, accept anyone into their ranks who is brave and cunning enough to face Arlathan’s reality-warping magic. As one of their senior members, you are quite familiar with the preserved lore of Elvhenan and are now entrusted with leading an expedition into the unknown. But will that trust be warranted?”

I think the Veil Jumpers are the trickiest faction to explain the “you can play all races” angle. The Shadow Dragons consist of the oppressed and those willing to fight against tyranny, the Grey Wardens literally cannot afford to discriminate, but the Veil Jumpers? They were, quite probably, founded by the Dalish clans who lived in Arlathan Forest. And if there is one thing, one crucial trait the Dalish are known for across all previous games, is the fact that they really don’t like outsiders. Clan Lavellan was one of the exceptions to the rule.

So, for this rewrite’s version of Veil Jumper Rook, I’m going to do some world building to explain just why everyone brave and cunning enough is welcome to join them. Because all the building blocks are right there in DA lore, we just have to use them.

Let us go back to Tevinter Nights where we meet Strife and Irelin. We know they are from Clan Morlyn, Strife specifically having joined it after coming from a city elf background. We can presume that Clan Morlyn remained in Arlathan Forest to study and combat the wild magic awakening in it. Eventually, however, Clan Morlyn realised they were just too outnumbered against this raw power. So, begrudgingly, they chose to expand. At first, they picked up the straggling remnants of some of the other Dalish clans who lived in or traversed through Arlathan Forest, none of them numbering enough to survive on their own. But even that didn’t get Clan Morlyn the desired effect.

Clan Morlyn started taking in former prisoners of the Antaam (who were deforesting the place a few years ago), but that was not enough. By then, however, they slowly began to accept outside help, even share in their knowledge of the elven past. They looked at Clans Ralaferin and Lavellan as examples of what can happen if the People open themselves up more. While it is risky, it also brings rewards.

Eventually, the Dalish and the outsiders all merge into one large Clan Morlyn, of which several members form the Veil Jumpers, a force of knowledge and protection.

Now, as we know of Dalish naming customs, there is the first name, the family name, and the clan name. Rook’s Veil Jumper name is Aldwir, doesn’t sound pretty elven to me. But what if Rook’s name is their first name, then Aldwir, and then Morlyn? But how would that work for the different races being all named Aldwir? Well, here’s how we do it: they are all part of the same family. But how does that work?

Early into this expansion of Clan Morlyn, a Dalish woman, let’s call her Ashara, and a human man, let’s call him Beldon, met, fell in love, and married. Both had lost their previous spouse and found very common and loving ground. The man’s last name was Aldwir so they chose that one for the new union. Here’s how Rook’s race affects this backstory:

If Rook is an elf, they are a Dalish elf, the Morlyn mother being their biological parent from the first marriage.

If Rook is a human, they are the child of the human man who came to Clan Morlyn, again, a result of the father’s first marriage.

If Rook is a dwarf or a qunari, they are the adopted child of the human man who came to Clan Morlyn.

For the sake of this hypothetical playthrough, let us play a Dalish mage here.

So, once we finalise our Aldwir, Varric continues with his narration, pretty much summarising the Veil Jumper backstory I just proposed there. He also emphasises on how perilous and dangerous their expeditions into Arlathan Forest are.  But because of their knowledge to all things Elvhenan, he thinks this is the perfect place to look for the right person for his endeavour.

The Veil Jumper Camp

We begin our story at the Veil Jumper camp, and one thing I’d like to establish pretty early on is that the camp is incredibly mobile. It’s been visually alluded to in the game, but I really would like to emphasise the use of aravels here, showcasing the Dalish origins of this faction.

The opening scene starts with the aravels sailing through the forests, until they reach and make halt at a great lake surrounded by tall trees. In the distance, we can see some amazing elvhen ruins that are surprisingly still intact after all these years.

We’re also going to be immediately made aware of the fact that Arlathan Forest has some strange stuff going on with the Veil as there are just so many floating buildings and other anomalies scattered throughout the woods, the shores of the lake featuring an extensive amount on their own.

A note on the lake itself: This is, of course, meant to be the Arlathan Crater, where the ancient Tevinter magisters waged their final battle against the elves before sinking the city into the ground, or so we are meant to believe. I’m going to announce an immediate change right now and say that we are not going to see the ruined capital city of Arlathan here. Because…reasons. Either it’s sunk into the ground, or…well, something else.

Meeting Irelin

The game starts with us stepping out of our aravel, because yeah we get one, pretty cool right? Irelin, one of the Veil Jumper leaders, wants to see us. This is our big day, today we begin our expedition, and now we actually get to hear what this expedition is all about:

The Veil Jumpers have been observing a cave on a small island in the lake for a while now. It could lead to the ruins of a part of Arlathan itself, which is still rumoured to be sunk deep beneath the waves. Our first task is to head to D’Meta’s Crossing, get our supplies, gather our team, and head off. This expedition, consisting of three people, shall be led by us, Aldwir, Bellara, one our most accomplished elven historians, and…Merrill.

NOTE: For the duration of this prologue, Rook shall be referred to as Aldwir, for the same reasons as stated in the other origins. Also, Merrill wasn’t killed in the events of DA2, allowing her to appear here now. In this World State, she romanced Hawke.

So, with Merrill, I am approaching this from a very simple perspective: If she’s alive, she’s here. If she isn’t, she just isn’t.

Our next immediate goal is to head to D’Meta’s Crossing, where we shall meet Strife and Bellara, who need to give us some additional briefing.

Exploring the Veil Jumper Camp

Before we head to D’Meta’s Crossing, Aldwir has the opportunity to do some exploration of the Veil Jumper camp. At this point, we can have the following encounters here:

We can encounter Myrion, the mage from Tevinter Nights, who escaped the Antaam along with Strife. He’s now a Veil Jumper and one of those in charge of defending the caravan during travels.

If she’s alive, which she is in this case, we can have an early meet-up with Merrill. We learn that she left Kirkwall after the events of Trespasser and wandered Thedas in the attempt to learn more about the Eluvians and the mysterious Crossroads. We can ask about Hawke, but she’ll be very quiet and sad about him, as he’s presumed dead after the events at Adamant Fortress.

NOTE: In this World State, Clan Sabrae survived and Merrill’s Eluvian was restored.

D’Meta’s Crossing

So, D’Meta’s Crossing will have a bit of a different role in this rewrite. You see, when playing DAV, I wondered how such a village could exist in Arlathan Forest, inhabited by both elves and humans and a human mayor to boot. How is this possible?

Well, thankfully, the worldbuilding we’ve done a little earlier gives us the perfect way out: D’Meta’s Crossing is the settlement Clan Morlyn and the Antaam survivors constructed for themselves after deciding to build a community together. This is where the civilised, non-fighting part that isn’t the Veil Jumpers resides.

However, I am going to change the character of the mayor. Instead of a generic slimy human guy, this rewrite’s version of the mayor is an elven man named Venalin, who is also the Keeper of Clan Morlyn. The idea here really is to show just how much the Dalish of Arlathan Forest were willing to adapt due to necessity.

Our goal in D’Meta’s Crossing is to find Strife and Bellara to fully get our little expedition going. But first, we can do some initial exploration of the settlement:

Instead of it being a regular human-built village as it aesthetically is made out to be in the game, D’Meta’s Crossing is a bit of a mix of cultures: It’s primarily Dalish, we can see how the foundations used to be Clan Morlyn. There are repurposed aravels everywhere, and shepherds are taking care of halla on the outskirts. A great vhenadahl stands in the centre, invoking memories of the city elves. But then there are also normal human-made houses, as well as several collections of tents here and there. It’s a fun place to look at! Kinda chaotic, but also strangely idyllic.

We can run into Eldrin, Davrin’s uncle figure, who is the chief halla shepherd here. As we established earlier, all elves of Arlathan Forest were absorbed into Clan Morlyn and the Veil Jumpers, so it only makes sense for him to be here. He can even mention Davrin if we talk to him and wonder how he’s doing, softly setting him up for later.

We hear whispers about the Blue Wraith, who is, of course, Fenris. He used to roam Arlathan Forest and hunt down slavers. But when the time came for the forest’s inhabitants to band together, he left.

Last but not least, we get to meet our parents, in this case our biological Dalish mother and our human stepfather. We exchange in a few pleasantries and can actually establish the family dynamic between us.

NOTE: In this World State, Fenris survived and Danarius is dead, allowing him to fully embrace the mantle of the Blue Wraith.

An Old Friend

When we reach Strife, he is currently in a meeting with Keeper Venalin, Irelin, and, as, of course, needs to happen, Varric Tethras. Strife introduces us as Aldwir, the leader of the upcoming expedition into Arlathan Crater. Here we get to really see that Strife grew up as a city elf. He just has that connection with outsiders that only the rarest Dalish elves possess. Keeper Venalin is, of course, known to us. Since we’re playing a Dalish elf here, he is extra fond and respectful towards us.

Varric, of course, knows Strife and Irelin from the Missing comics. He doesn’t know Aldwir, though. In our exchange with him, we can establish just how Dalish we are. Despite Clan Morlyn now containing non-elves, do we act as forthcoming to actual outsiders, or are we cordial and respectful?

Since Merrill is part of the Veil Jumpers in this World State, however, the two share a heartfelt reunion, and we learn that it was actually Varric who encouraged her to join up in the first place. That will immediately make him a more respected figure among the Veil Jumpers as Merrill is one of the best historians and researchers around, equal only to Bellara. This reunion carries a sombre tone, however, as Hawke is presumed dead, and both can relate to that feeling.

Speaking of Bellara, Strife tells us that she’s already gone scouting ahead and awaits us at the entrance to the cave, where we shall commence the expedition together.

When we announce or readiness to depart, we make our way to an aravel repurposed for aquatic travel and set sail across Arlathan Crater.

Arlathan Crater

As we sail across the great lake that once supposedly hosted the great city of Arlathan, we get some really atmospheric shots of Arlathan Forest and truly get a feel for how magical and ancient this place is. This origin story must really come across as a proper adventure, where we’re hunting for old relics and uncovering ancient history, almost like an Indiana Jones film.

We get to have some conversations with Strife, Irelin, Varric, and Merrill, especially with the latter two. When Merrill wonders what brought Varric here in the first place, Varric dodges the topic a little and promises to tell her later. All he can say is he’s on a search. Another quest for the remnants of the Inquisition, perhaps?

As we pass some ruins sticking out of the water, we get a short history lesson on how Tevinter sunk the city into the ground with their blood mages long ago and we can react accordingly, establishing Aldwir’s personality a little more.

This is also a good point to establish how wild the magic of Arlathan Forest is. Strife and Irelin are specifically coming with us to shield the island we’re on from collapsing back into the waters while we’re off investigating underground.

Meeting Bellara

We then arrive on a small island far out on the lake, and find Bellara’s own, smaller boat. Bellara herself has already set up a whole campsite in front of the cave, which looks more like a looming crack into the voids of the earth.

After some back and forth that shows us Bellara’s sheer excitement for what we’re about to do, it’s time to depart into the crack. Strife and Irelin remain above and Varric asks to come along as the fourth member of our little expedition. Strangely enough, however, Merrill is against it. She seems strangely erratic all of a sudden. She really doesn’t want Varric down there. But she can’t properly explain why. So, here we have our first big choice:

Do we let Varric accompany us as a fourth member to this expedition?

Or do we listen to Merrill and have him stay on the surface?

I’m choosing to play Aldwir as willing to cooperate with the outside world in honour of Clan Morlyn letting non-elves into their midst, and my stepfather being a human man, so that’s what we’re going with. Merrill seems resigned to something but whatever we try to gauge the answer from her, she won’t speak up.

The Crater Ruins

We descend into the crater and soon find ourselves traversing a great selection of underground passages. As we do so, we get to see a few strange and marvellous things:

Hardened glass from Ancient Elvhenan through which we can see into the waters of Arlathan Crater. We do, indeed, see great ruins from days long past, claimed by the millennia-old waters. Fishes and other aquatic creatures make their home here. Somewhere in the distance, we see a faint strange glow through one of the windows.

We come across some ancient murals on the walls, depicting June, the elven god of Craftsmanship. This is either a temple to him, or the house of an elven nobleman who was dedicated to him in particular. On some of the murals, we see what appear to be eluvians, with one great mirror in the centre. It’s very blink and you’ll miss it, but it’s there.

At one point, Merrill pulls Varric aside and encourages him to leave while Aldwir and Bellara aren’t listening. She warns him that there are hidden dangers down here, which she doesn’t want to expose him to. Varric states that he’s faced Kirkwall and Corypheus, he can handle an underwater ruin.

At some point, we suddenly sense a strange magical reverberation go through the ruins, and we’re attacked by a bunch of ancient guardian constructs. After defeating them, we sense a great surge of magic from deeper within the ruins and follow it, albeit cautiously.

The Great Gate

At some point, we reach a huge gate, which is secured by two complex locking mechanisms. In order to open it, we need to enter two separate rooms and solve the puzzles within. They’re not going to be too outrageously hard, but still enough of a challenge to get one thinking.

The first room features another mural of June and a fractured dragon statue. We have to magically put it back together to access the locking mechanism. The dragon’s shape is strangely reminiscent of Urthemiel, the Archdemon of the Fifth Blight, but in a non-corrupted, beautiful form.

The second room is almost entirely flooded and features a similar puzzle to the first. But this time, the statue we have to reassemble is one of June himself. At this point, it’s clear we’re in some kind of temple dedicated to the god.

Once the statues are reassembled, it almost looks like they’re facing each other across the rooms. But why are June and a dragon that looks suspiciously like Urthemiel connected? Well, those who played the game already know the lore answer, but I’m going to present these connections in a bit of a slower way than Solas expositioning it all to us.

It's safe to say that Bellara is absolutely ecstatic about all this and has the time of her life, while Merrill, whom we know to be passionate about elvhen history from DA2, is surprisingly quiet.

Suspicious Behaviour

As soon as we’re about to enter through the gate, Merrill suddenly looks as though she’s having a collapse of some sort. Tired, she sits down and closes her eyes. Varric is, understandably, worried about her, but a moment later, she’s back to normal. What was that? What is going on? At this point, our Aldwir is getting a little suspicious. First the insistence of keeping Varric out of here, now this. What is going on? Does Merrill perhaps know more about this place than us? Is there something she’s not telling us?

As Merrill starts to slowly break under the pressure, Varric steps in and defends her from our questioning. Had we not taken him along, we might have heard more here. But now, all we can do is press on and watch for anything perilous.

The Hammer of June

As we descend further into this strange Temple of June, we slowly advance to the bottom of Arlathan Crater, where that odd building with the glowing windows could be seen earlier.

We make our way through the remaining passages, fighting a few guardian constructs along the way, until we enter what appears to be some sort of inner sanctum. A large but defect eluvian decorates the back wall.

In a glowing bubble-like sphere, presumably the source of the glow, we see a hammer, and it’s the most magnificent hammer we have ever laid our eyes upon. It’s as long as a staff and infused with lyrium and, since we’re a mage and can sense it, the raw magic of the Fade.

Bellara and Merrill share a historical geek-out moment as they both immediately come to the conclusion that this must be the Hammer of June, the ancient tool the God of Craftsmanship used to build the very foundations of Arlathan, among other works of beauty. If it’s not that, then at least it must be something similar.

As a Dalish elf, we have a moment of absolute reverence that we may have found something that truly belonged to one of our gods.

You can see that I have changed something here: Unlike in the game, not everyone knows the truth about the Evanuris here. Of course, some do, some of the Southern Dalish clans know, some elves in the North know, but not everyone. This is to set up something later in the game.

Now we are presented with another choice:

Do we return to Strife and Irelin and ask for Veil Jumper backup to safely remove the hammer?

Or do we attempt to remove it by ourselves right now? The risk is greater, but oh boy, so is the reward.

Merrill encourages getting Veil Jumper back-up, as does Varric, for wow does he have experiences with ancient things exploding. Bellara, however, wants to remove and examine it right now. As a very curious Dalish elf, we agree with her and choose to try and remove it now. Something about that greatly seems to upset Merrill.

So, in order to free the hammer from this strange bubble, we would have to somehow dismantle this complex mechanism that’s somehow still intact after all those millennia.

Upon exploring, we find a lyrium-infused base. However, in order to fully access the mechanism, one requires blood magic. Since Merrill is with us, she reveals her blood mage powers to us, willing to spill her own blood to open the bubble. Bellara, however, offers to use her own magic to access the intricate system built by the ancient elves (I refuse to call it Technomancy because that just does not fit into the DA setting). Now we have another choice:

Do we let Merrill go through with the blood magic ritual?

Or do we let Bellara tinker around with the mechanism?

So, at this point, my Aldwir is a bit suspicious of Merrill’s erratic behaviour early on and chooses to trust Bellara on this one. Besides, blood magic isn’t exactly great and my Dalish knows that.

Giving our go-ahead, Bellara begins to slowly override the mechanism’s magic with her own. The base flares up, but then begins to crack. Before we can do anything else, the bubble shatters and the hammer falls onto the ground.

However, this unorthodox approach has awoken something as we hear the ground shake. Then, a gigantic construct shaped like an elven warrior appears from below. It bears June’s vallaslin, which begin to glow. This ensues a boss battle, where we have to destroy the Sentinel of June.

During the battle, the entire room slowly gets wrecked and water starts spilling in. In the end, the Sentinel of June is defeated, but we are left severely beaten and battered.

Betrayal

As we struggle to take the hammer and deliver it to the surface, the great eluvian in the back suddenly comes to life. An entire gang of elves bursts through, led by a tall elf with long white hair.

Varric is stunned, for he recognises the man, albeit faintly. “Abelas?” he asks, confused.

Yes, this scene marks the return of Abelas from DAI. Yes, he could theoretically have been stabbed in the back by Morrigan, but there is nothing to say that he couldn’t have survived that wound.

NOTE: In this World State, the Inquisitor respected the ancient ways of the Temple of Mythal and completed the rituals.

Abelas quickly corrects Varric and refers to himself as Revas. He no longer stands for sorrow but for freedom. For he is now the Dread Wolf’s lieutenant, very much committed to aiding him in his plans to restore Elvhenan. The elves we are facing are agents of Fen’Harel.

So yeah…I know the recent AMA on Reddit revealed that Solas broke off contact with his agents a while ago, but…I don’t really like this, I’m gonna be real. Why have this big set-up at the end of Trespasser only to explain it away in a Reddit post?

So, for this rewrite, the agents of Fen’harel are very much active and Abelas, now going by Revas, is their leader.

And it is here where we are hit with a very unfortunate truth: Merrill is an agent of Fen’Harel, sent specifically to infiltrate the Veil Jumpers and get first-hand intel on the recovery of ancient elven artefacts that Solas might need for his plans. And he definitely requires the Hammer of June. This was Merrill’s final mission. When she went dizzy and sleepy earlier, she was actually letting Revas know that they could come along and collect the hammer. And that’s why she didn’t want Varric coming along.

So yeah, if we choose to play the Veil Jumpers as our origin story, we get a much earlier look at Solas’ plans, as the agents of Fen’harel are our direct faction enemies.

Varric is absolutely dumbfounded by this revelation and can only ask Merrill why she would ever join the Dread Wolf, knowing what he plans to do. Merrill begins to break down, but before she can form an answer, Revas interrupts the conversation by claiming the hammer.

We are now engaged in another boss battle, this time against Revas and the agents of Fen’Harel. Had we followed through with Merrill’s blood magic ritual, we would ironically have better odds now as the Sentinel of June wouldn’t have awoken and wrecked the place earlier.

Revas absolutely wrecks us. Then, he offers Bellara and Aldwir, given our Dalish heritage, the chance to join Fen’harel right now and live to see the old world restored. But both of us are too stunned by the fact that the Dread Wolf is among us. Imagine being a Norse pagan in real life and finding out that Loki has returned and is currently planning to kickstart Ragnarök. That’s pretty much what we’re going through right now with our Aldwir.

Before we can even properly contemplate this idea, Varric interjects and chastises Revas and the other elves for wanting to doom the people they share a world with right now. This angers Revas, for he is an ancient elf and shares Solas’ notion that the Veil is a mistake. He uses the hammer to deliver an absolutely brutal blow to us and the whole facility, which begins to finally crumble beneath the weight of Arlathan Crater. The last thing we see before we get absolutely crushed by the water is Revas ordering the elves to retreat through the eluvian, including Merrill. She gives us one last incredibly heartbroken look, and follows through. Revas disappears last and the eluvian goes dark, before shattering.

Aldwir, Bellara, and Varric are swept away by the waters of Arlathan Crater. Bellara is able to cast a spell that shields her and Varric from the impact, but Aldwir is thrown in a completely different direction. We then lose our conscience.

Rescue

Aldwir is faintly drifting in the waters of Arlathan Crater, until, quite unexpectedly, a large fish picks us up and carries us to the surface. There, we are lifted into the air by Strife, who levitates us onto our aravel. The fish jumps into the air and turns back to Irelin, who lands on deck. Yeah…for those who haven’t read Tevinter Nights: Irelin is actually a shapeshifter. No idea why they didn’t include that part of her character in DAV.

Healing

We wake up at our parent’s house in D’Meta’s Crossing, where Ashara, our mother, tends to our wounds.

She informs us that Varric and the Veil Jumpers saved us from certain death in Arlathan Crater. At this stage, we can show Aldwir being a bit vulnerable should we choose to. It’s not often that we get to interact with actual parental figures in DA.

Beldon, our father, joins the conversation and asks if maybe now is the time to take a little break from the Veil Jumpers.

When we head outside, Strife, Irelin, and Varric await us. Bellara is nowhere to be seen and we are told she has already returned to Arlathan Forest, in preparation for a new expedition, as she needs to get her mind focused now.

It is here where we find out that all three already knew that the Dread Wolf has returned and seeks to restore the ancient world of Elvhenan. What we just saw down there is but a fraction of his agents. Varric still can’t believe Merrill is among them and wonders what the Dread Wolf could have possibly done to convince her.

We also learn the true reason for Varric’s visit: he needs to recruit someone in his fight against the Dread Wolf. He was of the assumption that the Veil Jumpers were the perfect place to look. And it seems that he was right, as Aldwir is standing right there.

The implication is clear: we are to leave the Veil Jumpers and join Varric on his quest. We can either protest or accept immediately. Since my Aldwir is very much devoted to the cause, we shall object at first. But then Strife and Irelin let us know that Merrill may not even have been the only agent of Fen’Harel planted amidst the Veil Jumpers. And now they would know who we are if we reveal our survival. Joining Varric is a perfect cover-up, and they would never see us coming.

We are also encouraged to change our name for the duration of this whole affair. And here we get the Veil Jumper origin of our nickname: when we were still a child, we used to play chess in the evenings, on a board our father had secured from outside. The Rook was our favourite piece. This is told to us by our father, btw, causing for a slightly embarrassing scene. So, half-heartedly, we suggest Rook as our nickname. Varric accepts. “The strongest piece on the chessboard. I like it.”

Leaving D’Meta’s Crossing

We are given a bit of time to pack our things and join Varric outside the village. There are a few things we can do here:

We can, and will, of course, give our parents a heartfelt goodbye family hug.

We can talk to Keeper Venalin and maybe risk urging him to look for anything suspicious among the people of D’Meta’s Crossing. But who knows…maybe he’s in on it? It’s certainly a choice.

We can bid Strife and Irelin goodbye before they return to the Veil Jumper camp. They wish us good luck on our journey and hope to see us again soon. We can express our frustration with losing the Hammer of June, but they don’t hold it against us. Nobody could have foreseen what happened.

Once we’re done, we join Varric and express our readiness to leave. Going by Rook from now on, we accompany our new dwarven friend into the wilds of Arlathan Forest. As we reach a small hill, we turn back to view the almost idyllic nightly image of Arlathan Crater, D’Meta’s Corssing, and the Veil Jumper camp in the woods. We turn back and follow Varric into the unknown.

And there we have it! This is my proposed Veil Jumper origin story. Of course, it’s not perfect, not even close, but it’s a start, isn’t it? Let me know what you think! Next time, we shall head to Treviso and explore an origin story for the Antivan Crows. Stay tuned!

Rewriting Veilguard Part 5 - The Antivan Crows

[frayaziwriter]

The Strings Of The Universe Will Lead Me To You

Chapter 1

It wasn’t always like this; humans considering themselves at the top of the food chain, egotistically calling themselves the Apex Predator. Hunting and trapping animals, only to sometimes release them back to nature horribly disfigured and dying all for the name of sport or ancient science. Pollution and deforestation running amok while the world was under their rule.

There was a time when humans were hunted. A time of man-eating creatures called demons. They ruled from the shadows, intent on turning humans into cattle and claiming the very top of the food chain. Egotistically thinking of themselves as the Apex Predator. Hunting and massacring villages of humans in their hunger and blood lust. Torturing their prey before eating them alive, most often in gruesome ways. They rose with the moon and ruled over humans with an iron fist.

They couldn’t be killed, at least through normal means. Their only weaknesses were the sun itself, a beautiful and unassuming flower called Wisteria, and a blade made from a strong metal that absorbed the sun’s celestial fire.

And the one that lead them? The devil himself, who had crawled straight out of the deepest and darkest hole from hell.

He thought he would reign for eternity, cheating death until the end of times, and possibly even after. 

And he would have if it weren’t for the Demon Slayer Corps and a small, unlikely group of slayers that just so happened to be at the right place at the right time. Seven slayers with extraordinary senses and powers.

A boy with a sense of smell so strong, he could pick up the slightest change in emotions of others around him with a sniff from his bloodhound nose. He was able to remember and track scents for years with just one whiff and could smell the difference between demon and human. His forehead was as hard as the densest diamond, just as strong and unbreakable as his determination, and he had the power of the sun flowing through his veins.

A once human girl who was forcefully turned into a demon yet retained her human mind and soul. A traitor to the Demon King, and a demon who refused the flesh of humans. She fought for the light, for those that she held dear both dead and alive, and for the hope of reclaiming her human body. A demon whose Blood Demon Art harmed those of her kind yet protected humans, and a demon who conquered the sun.

A boy charged with the thundering of lightning, whose sense of hearing allowed him to clearly hear whispered words from far away. It was known that even while he was asleep he could listen in to conversations around him, and it was rumored that he could even hear someone’s private thoughts. His speed was ungodly; those who faced him only heard the clap of thunder before their head slipped off their shoulders.

A boy raised with the soul and breath of a wild beast. His sense of touch was so enhanced that he could even feel the slightest vibration in the air. He could sense the precise location, species, and intent of another with his incredible spatial awareness. His battle lust and ambition drove him to be physically stronger and more flexible than anyone else in a fight, even altering his twin katanas to rip and tear the flesh of a demon with a serrated edge. 

A girl as delicate and beautiful as a deadly flower. She could track the movements of any being, whether slow or quick, with her sharp sense of sight. She was quick and strong, expertly dodging and performing effective counterattacks that left her opponents stunned. She navigated her life with only a singular normal coin, yet it was a coin burdened heavily with all her previous and future decisions. 

A boy who gained the powers of the demons through consuming their flesh yet retained his human body. Despite not having a breath style, he decided to fight against the demons. He sought the approval of his estranged brother, hoping to prove himself despite all the odds. Instead of a swordsman, he was an excellent marksman, supporting his comrades from the distance with both bullets and the blood arts he gained.

And a chosen girl out of her own time, dragged from one war against demons to another. Her five senses were rather normal; no super sense of smell, no enhanced hearing or sight, and she was unable to feel or taste slight abnormalities. But, she had a very peculiar sixth sense that was only partially heard of in fiction and myths. She had the ability to sense the hidden threads that weave the universe together into a beautiful tapestry. 

These seven slayers of different paths and backgrounds banded together with their factions that never would have attempted to work together on their own. And with these banded slayers and allies, something that was only a flicker of hope centuries ago was finally a possibility.

The end of demons. The end of Kibutsuji Muzan.

It wasn’t always like this; humans creating beautiful masterpieces out of anything they could find, free to roam wherever they please without the threat of monsters of the night. Being able to connect and care for beings both of and not the same species. To protect those much weaker than themselves and restore the lost and broken. 

To live.

notes: and this is the start of my Kamado Tanjiro/Reader fic! hope you enjoyed it! things really start next chapter, so if you did, make sure to check the rest out when it comes out!

anyways. tomorrow, i'll post this arc's chapter list. in a few weeks, the next chapter will drop, so if you have trouble finding it just check out the Arc 1 chapter list post! (each arc will have a summary of the content in the chapters and i will hopefully remember to provide links when the story is updated. if i don't promptly, please feel free to yell at me. i'm very forgetful.)

love you lots! stay safe, and please remember that you're all AWESOME! XP

[vilixpran]

my shadow and bone s2 running thoughts

"there's only one bed!" speedrun

sometimes hot people can't act

this is actually.... not good

wow being incognito lasted three minutes

no hesitation to blow your cover

what a kind northern Irish village gentleman

the bitch is back, long live the bitch

show me a 40 year old! not every person alive is 25 and hot

genya's wig... ain't it

all he is is dumb and hot

let the fake Scandinavians mispronounce jail, show me realism

ah yes, we do cool nods at the wall of weapons

the ears are the sign of a good tracker, and mal sure does have two ears

Sea Whip, That Was Easy™️

all tell, no show, that's the way that we go

god inej is fit

total stranger, for now xx

they're just putting their faces close together on purpose

daaaamn these bitches dead and deading others

ah yes, ignite the bombs while you're in the room

pirate ship cult

Nikolai is a dork

how small is this ocean....

kazs PTSD, a running gag

baby girl, you won't "finally eradicate it for good" right now, it's episode three

aah so they fucked

TINY ROLLINS WEE SCOTTISH BAB

"hey babe, expose your knife wound while i trauma dump plot info"

god inej is fit

nina knows

god nina is fit too

*saoirse ronan* "women"

how many times can this man get stabbed in the shoulder? we're up to three

murder is good, murder is chill, i've got no qualms with murder

too many characters, too many plots, disproportionate amount of time spent on the crows and god bless them for that

"hey bro can i propose to your girlfriend bro"

the mood lighting in this plague cemetery, vibes

HORRIBLE FAKE SCANDINAVIAN LANGUAGE, HORRIBLE -10000/10

girlie pop, youve got to lose the signature fancy hat, you are the most recognisable

dat ass

my man is here to be petty and he's bringing friends along for the ride

no plot! only flirting! as we deserve

let them all be lesbians

SPEEDRUN WESPER

episode four and they're already fucking thank Christ

good good wylan and Jesper are off shagging, I can brood in peace

"no"

time isn't real! geography is a myth! our boats will get there when it's convenient for the plot!

we are criminals, rats of the barrel, and occasionally help foreign royals when they ask nicely

"warm, and wet" the crows in Shu han, the gift that keeps on giving

can't believe I have to watch some reylo shit all over again

Dominik Dominik I sense an ex friend with benefits with our man Nikolai

good let the twink talk to butterflies and ignore the suffering of his friends

deforest station

happy to have a himbo in tolya

not so much a slow death by poisoning as a chance for nice life affirming trips to remotivate our heroes in the ninth hour

"throwing up or hallucinations" the only two possible outcomes of poisoning

she's the avatar!

one night stand to soulmates pipeline

ah yes, continue to make out in the background for everyones big character revelations

"you're a part of me mal, I can't loose you" well murder him and eat his bones and he'll be with you forever

boyfriend to organ donor pipeline

star wars levels of hand amputation, now featuring Mother's Good Finger Bones

"and there was only one set!"

yeah like, they definitely used to fuck, surely

twenty minutes of this episode and no crows, for shame

the crows aka Deus ex machina but make it fun flirty and bisexual

more finger amputations, moooooreeeeee

woohoo C plot lesbians

queue the fire benders

little viking boy, drawing crosses in the sand

Matthias villian origin story set up for season three

fun fact, I don't actually want to see another finger amputation

blue skies and sunny yet these bitches can't see a thing

the location scout must have been so proud of themselves for finding this fort, so proud that they spent two episodes having two identical groups chasing each other around three walls

you know what this big battle scene needs? some music

unecessarily squishy icicle stab sound effects

FIVE MORE FINGERS CUT OFF JESUS FUCKING CHRIST

oh damn she actually did it

slaaaayyyy

"series regular" shows up every two episodes for a single scene unrelated to the main plot

why aren't they lighting the kindling from multiple places and especially from lower down?

good for inej

again with the tiny ocean and instantly finding exactly what you were looking for, ofmd logic

uh oh hehe

gross

[himalayanmonalagro]

Detoxify and Defend: A Natural Solution for Delhi's Rising Pollution

India's capital has long had to deal with rising pollution levels. rapid urban expansion Emissions from vehicles industrial waste construction activities and deforestation It makes the air quality very bad. Sometimes pollution levels increase beyond safety limits. This has resulted in serious health problems for the people of Delhi. Health risks range from respiratory problems to heart disease. What can we do to protect ourselves from this toxic gas? The simplest is starting your day with Himalayan Monal Nettle Tea, a powerful detox drink for the support of your natural defense mechanisms.

Health Risks of Air Pollution in Delhi

Air pollution in Delhi is particularly risky to the fitness of the people residing there.

Exposure to air pollutants at such high stages for a extended period can also reason situations like the following:

Respiratory or breathing troubles like allergies, bronchitis, and COPD (Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease)

Heart sicknesses associated with the inhalation of dangerous particles that damage the blood vessels and heart Stroke and other neurological diseases in relation to damage caused to the brain by pollution.

Premature aging and skin issues due to oxidative stress created by pollutants Considering these risks, Delhi residents must take measures which could help detox their body systems and make their immune systems stronger.

How Himalayan Monal Nettle Tea Can Help Being one of the first-class methods for detoxifying your body and combating the dangerous effects of pollution, Himalayan Monal Nettle Tea is a exquisite addition in your daily ordinary.

This healthy brew is wealthy in antioxidants and anti inflammatory houses in an effort to cleanse your body and sell trendy health.

Benefits of Himalayan Monal Nettle Tea

1. Abundant with Antioxidants: Himalayan Monal Nettle Tea has a excessive awareness of antioxidants, so one can help neutralize the horrible consequences as a result of unfastened radicals in the body.Such antioxidants prevent oxidative stress and are one most of the leading reasons of cell harm brought about due to pollutants.

2. Anti-Inflammatory Properties: The tea is known for its Anti-Inflammatory results, which could reduce the inflammation inside the respiratory system, assisting individuals who suffer from conditions which encompass allergies or bronchitis.

3. Cleans the Body: Nettle tea is a herbal detoxifier. It enables in flushing pollutants from the device, improves the feature of the kidneys, and promotes healthier skin. This tea can be commenced with in the morning to purify and clean up your body to start your day in the first-rate feasible manner.

4. Developed the Immunity: The extract of natural compounds in Himalayan Monal Nettle Tea enhances your immune power. It makes it all the more effective against infections caused due to all sorts of pollutants in air.

5. Increased Overall Health: This tea ensures improved vitality, good digestion, and mental clarity-very essential for health management in times of high pollution. Prepare Himalayan Monal Nettle Tea. It is simple and easy to prepare.

Here's how to do it:

1. Boil water in a kettle or saucepan.

2. Add one teaspoon of Himalayan Monal Nettle Tea leaves or tea bag into the water. 3. Let the tea steep for about 5-7 minutes depending on the intensity of flavors you are used to. 4. Strain the tea or remove the tea bag. 5. Optionally, add honey or a slice of lemon to add a little zing. .

It is suggested that this tea is consumed each morning to activate one's day with a healthy, detoxifying start.

Conclusion

Due to the increasing pollution in Delhi, it has become more important than ever to take preventive measures to protect our health.

Measuring steps like reducing vehicular emission, promotion of green spaces, and industrial pollution reduction must be supplemented by people's responsibility through adoption of healthier lifestyle practices.

One such simple and effective act is drinking Himalayan Monal Nettle Tea each morning.

Packed with Anti-oxidants and Anti-inflammatory properties, it detoxifies the body, enhances the respiratory health of the human body, and promotes overall well-being—making it an ideal addition to your daily routine for combating harmful effects caused by pollution.

These are some critical challenges, and making conscious choices for a healthier life is very important. Natural remedies such as Himalayan Monal Nettle Tea will be highly beneficial in this fight against pollution.

You can purchase Nettle Tea From Their Website - https://himalayanmonals.com/detoxify-and-defend-a-natural-solution-for-delhis-rising-pollution/

[norisbeinghuman]

What can you do for nature?

As a civilisation, we seem to be painfully aware of all the shortcomings in our contact with nature. Stories about all we have destroyed, and where we have failed, permeate our culture. Truth is, we don’t even believe anymore that we could do any good. Most of us feel like the best thing we could do for nature, is to leave it alone. But that kind of thinking is wrong. And dangerous.

How can we do good, if we can’t even imagine it?

If I asked you how humans are affecting the nature, I suspect you would tell me about all the bad things we are doing. About the pollution, the deforestation, about the insecticides and herbicides, about microplastics, and mining, and species loss. And you would, of course, be right.

But is that all of it? Is destruction all we are capable of?

Most of us actually do think so. Growing up in our culture, we absorb the image of pristine nature and of the horrible effect we, the humanity, have on it. We talk about nature and wilderness as something pure and good – and completely separate from us. We think the best we can do is to leave it alone.

If we can’t even imagine that our interactions with the rest of the natural world could be beneficial for it, how can we hope to actually do anything positive?

How are we supposed to find a way to live on this planet in peace and harmony with the rest of the life on it, if we assume from the get-go that we are only capable of doing harm? How are we supposed to be looking for solutions, if we don’t actually believe there are any?

I was thinking about all this as I was reading George Monbiot’s book Regenesis. While he had some good points, I found myself strongly disagreeing with his conclusions and solutions. I might write about it more some day, but not today.

I think George Monbiot got it wrong from the premise. For him, the number one problem of agriculture is land use. And so his solution is to use as little land as possible. Everything he suggests is considered from this point of view, arriving at dubious solutions such as using factory-grown bacteria as the chief source of fat and protein for people around the world.

It is clear that George Monbiot can’t imagine that humans could actually be useful to the rest of the natural world. And he definitely can’t see us as a part of it. He takes it even further, and as many of his fellow vegans, he even sees domestic animals as inherently damaging to nature and something that should be removed. It’s as if cows and sheep and other domestic animals have lost their status as part of nature in his eyes. It’s as if they were tainted by their contact with us.

Humans are nature too

We have been thinking of ourselves as separate from nature for a while now. The concept of nature came to be after the Middle Ages, during the period of Enlightenment. It is even more recent to think of ourselves as only being capable of natural destruction. But thankfully, our culture does not represent all the people in existence and definitely not all the people in history. We might have forgotten about it, but the truth is that humans can live in peace with nature. And not only that, we can even help it prosper.

One of the main ideas in the (absolutely wonderful) Ishmael trilogy by Daniel Quinn is the fact that humanity is much, much older than our civilisation. While it’s a fact fairly obvious to most of us, it has some implications that we don’t usually realise.

Our genus, Homo, is almost 3 million years old. Homo sapiens – modern humans, that were anatomically and physiologically identical to us – appeared some 300 000 years ago. Compared to either of these numbers, our agriculturalist, city-building, less than 10 000 years old civilisation, is like a blink of an eye. Humans have been here for a long time, living just like all other creatures do – as part of the ecosystem.

We tend to think about our prehistoric ancestors as not-quite-human; as if they were somehow unfinished. We assume they didn’t have our curiosity, our intellect and our drive, because in our eyes they were not yet living the way humans are supposed to. Yet, they were just like us, and yet they managed to live in peace with the world around them.

They knew they belonged to the world, just as much as rhinos and mites and sequoias do; and they knew that just like any of those other creatures, they had their role to play in it.

How can we know what they might have been thinking? Well, fortunately, there are still people living in this world now, whose lifestyle is closer to that of our hunter-gatherer ancestors than to our “civilised” ways. We still have a chance to learn from them. If we are ready.

Myth of the wilderness

The truth is that Indigenous peoples have been modifying and managing the nature around them for millennia. Many of the areas that we would classify as wilderness were shaped by human activity, including places such as the Amazon rain-forest, or the Australian aridlands. While this is still far from the mainstream perception, scientist are actually starting to point to how the whole concept of “wilderness” is inappropriate and how certain biomes rely on human input for their preservation (great article on this is Indigenous knowledge and the shackles of wilderness).

Picking sweetgrass

In her beautiful, gentle book Braiding Sweetgrass, Robin Wall Kimmerer – a Native American botanist – reveals a lot about how her culture approached the natural world. She talks about the sense of belonging and feelings of community with all the life around them. She talks about the Honorable Harvest, which is a set of rules to make sure that people don’t take more than their fair share, and that enough is left to keep the cycles of nature going. (Rules like: Never take more than a half. Never take the first, nor the last. Take only what you need. Always give back in return.)

From her stories it becomes clear that the bounty of the land that the European colonisers encountered when they first arrived to the Americas was not an accident. It was not wilderness. It was the result of many millennia of careful cultivation at the hands of the Indigenous peoples.

One of the moving examples she gives, is that of sweetgrass. This plant was, and still is, used for ceremonial purposes among her people and is very important to them. Unfortunately, the sweetgrass populations are steadily declining. Various tribes have different ways of harvesting sweetgrass, and everyone, understandably, thinks their way is the better one. Robin Wall Kimmerer enlisted one of her botany master students to do a thesis about the sweetgrass harvest, trying to determine which harvesting technique was better for the plants – either pulling it out with its roots, or cutting it off, leaving the root in the soil.

She had trouble convincing the faculty to approve the study. They thought it rather useless, saying the result was known from the beginning, as it was obvious that harvesting would lead to decline regardless of the method. But nobody expected what actually happened.

The student spent two years harvesting from three different sweetgrass patches (following the rules of the Honorable Harvest) and documenting the results. She would pinch some of the grass from one of them, pull it out from the other, and the third one was left as a control. At the end of the study period, only one of those patches was not doing well, its population declining. It was the control patch.

As it turns out, sweetgrass needs to be picked. If it isn’t, if space isn’t made for new plants, they get smothered under the tall growth. The decline of sweetgrass goes hand in hand with the disappearance of the peoples who value and harvest it. And the patches that still thrive are, not surprisingly, located in the areas where the people still live and interact with them.

The ciiiircle of liiife

We often feel like it’s somehow morally wrong to be eating other living beings. We are sceptical to the beneficial effects that predators have on their ecosystems, and completely blind to the benefits they provide to their prey (not on the individual, but on the community level).

Lions picking out a sick zebra can save the herd from a disease spreading. Chasing the zebras around ensures they don’t spend too much time in one place, which protects the land from overgrazing, and the zebras from getting parasitic infections from infected manure of their buddies.

Big herds of grazing animals are what prevents grasslands from turning into deserts or forests. The shrubs and trees get eaten before they get a chance to grow big, and the grass gets thinned to make space for new growth, fuelled by the fertiliser left behind by the animals. Some ruminants, like the buffalo, even have an enzyme in their saliva that stimulates grass growth.

While there is nothing wrong with forests, grasslands are a different ecosystem, supporting an equally diverse network of plants and animals that can not thrive in a forest. Despite people who call for “rewilding”, and believe that the only valid landscape is a forest, grasslands have always been here. There is now even evidence that about half of Europe was covered by grasslands and meadows before the arrival of modern humans. But just like in the case of sweetgrass, the European grasslands now rely on us to help them thrive.

In the end, everyone eats and is eaten. Microbes, fungi and plants feed on death just as much as herbivores and carnivores do. Being lower on the food chain does not make one more virtuous. And being higher up on it does not prevent one from contributing to the community of life. Every ecosystem is a network where everything is attached to everything and each creature is needed, however cute or yucky or weird.

You find what you are ready to look for

I have been reading (and thinking) a lot about agriculture lately. It is our closest and most important point of contact with the cycles of life and of nature. It definitely seems like we got a lot of it wrong, and we need to make some changes.

I think it is important that we look for solutions with the right mindset. It is difficult to notice things that you aren’t looking for, let alone ones you can’t even fathom. I think it’s time we started looking at ourselves as creatures that do belong in this world, and that can work with it, care for it, and protect it, while receiving what we need to live. We have to believe it is possible first, before we can even start finding out how to do it. Thankfully, we humans are fast learners, and we still have someone to learn from. And while there is no going back to the Stone Age (not that I want to), we can surely find a way to practice some Honorable Harvest in our world.

The change, if it happens, will come from the bottom. From people with a new vision. From people like you and me.

Originally published on https://noriparelius.com/post/what-can-you-do-for-nature/

[jayahult]

How to Hunt and Prepare Qilin: A Beginner's Guide

So, you're considering hunting qilin, or want to learn more about qilin hunting in general. If so, you've come to the right place. I've been hunting qilin for nearly ten years now across Ocalia. Before we jump into the actual process of hunting, I first want to talk about why people hunt qilin, because it's one of the questions I receive the most.

Why hunt qilin?

I think this is something that trips up a lot of people unfamiliar with hunting, both as a sport and as a source of food, especially people who are into all that animal rights stuff. I get it. Qilin are beautiful, majestic animals and it can feel really wrong to some people to hunt them. However, as much as we have qualms, there are a lot of good reasons to hunt them. The biggest ones follow:

Food. Qilin are large, edible animals. A single one can feed an entire family for a month, and they're more ecologically friendly than eating, per se, beef. Qilin meat and offal is very nutritious and tastes great to boot.

Byproducts. Qilin also produce several byproducts from hunting. Their skin can be made into leather for clothing or other purposes, and their bones and antlers can be carved into a variety of useful things. Before metal utensils were common, qilin-bone forks and knives were the go-to for Ocal peasants, and I know a lot of hunters who keep that tradition alive.

Ecological reasons. Ever since the near-extinction of the Ocal wild dog, the qilin population has been skyrocketing because they have no natural predators. This is problematic because it has knock-on effects. Qilin are pretty voracious eaters, gladly browsing through entire forests and stripping trees of bark once there's nothing left to browse on. This inhibits the growth of new forests and ecological succession, which exacerbates the already-nasty deforestation problem in many areas. This means that it falls to humans to cull qilin and keep their population in check. There are also a lot of ecological indicators of the environment in a qilin corpse, something that a lot of universities put a bounty on to collect data, which brings us to the last point...

Money. You can sell whatever food and byproducts you don't need, and there are a lot of rich guys who would love to get a stuffed qilin head on their wall without getting down in the mud and hunting one. Considering the time it takes to hunt one, the natural benefits of the job and the amount of money you can get out of the spoils, it's not horrible as a full-time job when qilin are in open season. I know a lot of guys who make shit pay working seasonal or temp jobs in the summer and spring, and make more money hunting qilin in the fall and winter.

I hope that makes people understand why qilin hunting is so important for so many people, and why it's actually essential for the health of our forests. You don't have to take up hunting yourself, but it's important to be educated on why it's necessary. Now, onto the actual hunt.

Essential supplies for a qilin hunt

Qilin hunts can be pretty variable, but here are the supplies that I would consider essential.

Appropriate clothing. Most provinces have qilin hunting in the colder months. Don't skimp on warm socks, solid shoes that can get dragged through the mud and a good hat. If you're bringing a gun, bring ear protection as well so you don't go deaf when you shoot it. Heavy rubber or nitrile gloves, eye protection and an apron are useful for the killing and butchering process. Don't forget to wear a high-visibility vest as well. It's better to look like an alive idiot in a high-vis than be a dead idiot without one. Also, qilin have pretty bad color eyesight anyways, so you aren't giving yourself away to your quarry.

Appropriate gear and provisions. Even if it's going to be a short trip, you should have a decent amount of water and some snacks on you. Bring more than you think you need. You aren't going to hunt well if you're dehydrated and hungry. If you're camping, also get an appropriate tent. You should keep a few methods of emergency communication. I keep a signal flare and an emergency radio on me, just in case - I'd rather have the excess weight and be sure that I can get a signal to someone if something goes wrong than not have it in an emergency. You should also keep a very solid knife on you - something that you can use to quickly and humanely kill your catch and use for other utility purposes in the wild. A veterinary pistol can also be kept for this purpose. If you're butchering in the wild, also keep appropriate supplies for that. If you're taking the carcass back, make sure to have appropriate space in your vehicle for it. Also, keep a ruler on you.

You're going to want a separate bottle of water you don't drink from on you at all times you can quickly squirt out or pour onto something. Some also suggest dissolving a weak household base into the water. This is especially important during the killing and butchering process.

A well-stocked first aid kit is always better to have than to not have.

Hunting weapons that you're familiar and comfortable with. There are a lot of these. Which I'll go through now in no particular order:

Rifle. My preferred method, and probably the easiest for a beginner to pick up. You're generally going to want a cartridge rated for big game - my personal suggestion is 7.70mm, because it's common and cheap, but use what you're comfortable with. If you're hunting the great qilin, you are going to need a larger cartridge. If you shoot a great qilin with too small of a cartridge, you are liable to end up with a pissed-off great qilin that may kill you before it dies painfully.

Pistol. This is only really appropriate for the dwarf qilin, and even then it's borderline. Use a larger cartridge pistol if you want to hunt them that way.

Bow / Crossbow. While more difficult than some other methods, bows have their advantages. An arrow can be reused - which saves some money - and they're quiet, which means you don't need ear protection. I do not recommend this for the great qilin.

Trapping. This is another preferred method for the dwarf qilin, though some larger traps can be used for the mid-sized species. A good option if you're not confident with weapons, willing to be patient and have enough confidence to finish the job if a trap leaves the qilin alive.

On horseback, using a hunting party, with dogs and spears. This is primarily done by the Azak people in the east and north of Ocalia. If you're thinking about doing this and have the supplies for it, you probably don't need my advice because you're Azak and have been hunting qilin since you were eight.

Appropriate licenses for any weapons and for hunting. These are usually relatively easy to get. You will need a separate license for hunting great qilin.

Lastly, hunting buddies are an optional but welcome addition. More eyes are usually better, and they can help at every step of the process.

Now that you have most of your basics, you also want to consider the kind of qilin you're hunting - it'll inform how best to go about your trip.

Dwarf qilin. These guys are the ones that most people get up in arms about hunting. I understand why; they're adorable, usually topping out around the size of a large dog as adults. However, they're also delicious. They can be pretty hard to hunt, though - they're low to the ground, agile and decently clever. That's generally why snares and traps are one of the more preferred methods for bagging them. Also, some areas let you hunt these year round.

Common qilin, mountain qilin, bicorns, palm-antlered qilin. These are all mid-sized species, in the 40-80 kilo range depending on exact species and sex. They have different ranges, you can check with your local FHT office if you aren't sure and they'll tell you what species are most common in your area. There are a few subtleties here to note. Common and mountain qilin usually have a slightly milder, less gamey meat, but also aren't as prized as trophies. Bicorns and palm-antlers are a lot more prized, and a lot gamier because of their diets. Some people don't like that, but if you know how to prepare the meat and what to pair it with they can taste great.

Great qilin. These are the ones that I understand not wanting to hunt. There's the obvious problem - they're large, difficult animals that require specialized knowledge and equipment to hunt - but more than that, it can feel plain old wrong to kill them. They are beautiful; it is not possible for me to describe what it feels like to see one in the wild. The first time I hunted one, I could not bring myself to shoot it. I had to hand my rifle to my buddy and have him take the shot. That being said, studies are showing that they are breeding way beyond the carrying capacity of their environment. They are best hunted in teams of three to four because of the amount of work needed to butcher them. You should only use a large-caliber rifle to take them down. These animals can weigh anywhere from 270 to 630 kilos - you're going to need something very powerful to kill them quickly and effectively.

Above all else, regardless of species you should treat these animals with respect. There's nothing that I can do to stop you from doing it, but I think you should never hunt an animal for sport alone. Don't just take trophies and pictures to impress people. Never intentionally prolong their suffering. If you aren't interested in butchering or eating the qilin, sell it to a local butcher. They'll be glad to take it and compensate you. These animals live whole, complete lives out in the wild, and we can respect that life best by using it to improve as many human lives as possible.

With that out of the way, we can discuss the hunt itself. Tracking and hunting qilin isn't particularly hard for most species. There are some tutorials and guides linked below, but in general the basics are the same. Qilin have very distinctive scat due to their diet, and very distinctive tracks. A well-prepared stand can also do you well. They also all have distinct calls that vary from species to species, used to communicate between individuals over larger distances. Depending on the conditions, a great qilin can be heard half a kilometer away. Once you've found your quarry, you can aim and shoot at it. You're aiming for the vital organs and the shoulders - the lungs and the heart. This ensures that the animal cannot move far from where you shoot it and is already close to death when you track it to its final resting place. Often, with a rifle, the animal will already be unconscious and dying when you arrive if performed correctly. Before you take that important shot, though, there are a few things that you might want to consider. Is the qilin...

...a late brooder? All qilin are egg-layers, making a small nest where they lay a few eggs. This isn't usually a problem for hunters because qilin are generally hunted out of breeding season, but there are sometimes late comers - a female who bred unusually late in the season or is brooding on eggs that went unfertilized for whatever reason. Brooding females are often very aggressive about defending their eggs, and significantly bulk up to defend their young. This makes them much more dangerous if you're using something that requires you get closer to the animal, like a bow. Also, the eggs - if unfertilized - are actually quite good if an unusual treat. Links below for how to identify and prepare unfertilized qilin egg.

...too young to hunt? Qilin populations need to be culled, but we don't need to kill every qilin we see. A qilin that's less than a year old won't have its antler, will be much smaller than an adult (and thus give less meat) and will generally be quite a bad hunting experience. There are some charts out there generally showing the size and look of qilin at different ages so you can get a better sense of this sort of thing. Think of it as paying it forward to the hunter who bags them in a few years.

...a mother? There's nothing that says you can't shoot a female qilin with its young around. Young qilin stick with their mothers until they grow out their first horns to protect them from the now-nearly-extinct Ocal wild dogs. They can defend themselves and get food fine on their own. That said, it will probably make you feel pretty sad. The young qilin won't be able to do much to you physically, but they will hang around and bleat a lot. So, you know, maybe just wait for the next one instead.

...infected with yellow drake fever? An individual with yellow drake fever isn't all that hard to identify. They'll have a swollen, inflamed hanger - often nearly circular in shape - with yellowish, pus-like residue around their eyes, nose and mouth. They might also move sluggishly or jerkily if the disease is particularly advanced, indicating that the infection has spread to the central nervous system. You may also find watery scat with undigested tree bark in it when tracking such an animal - that's actual the first sign of infection for most of them. The meat on that kind of animal is going to be sparse and basically inedible due to how terrible it tastes. That doesn't mean you shouldn't shoot it, though. YDF is basically unsurvivable for a qilin in the wild, and those that do survive often die soon after due to partial paralysis. It's reasonable to euthanize them in this state. There are also some universities that are trying to collect better statistics on YDF - if you collect some vital stats and send them in to an appropriate place, you might see some compensation for your time and trouble. Don't worry about catching anything, YDF can't infect mammals because it specifically infects glands and structures only found in dragons.

...haunted? People unfamiliar with Ocal hunting culture might not be familiar with this one. Sometimes in the wild you'll see a qilin with a weird, gnarled antler that doesn't match up with any known species. Legend has it that a qilin that gores a person to death will be haunted by their spirit, causing their horn to grow twisted and gnarled. The scientific reality is a bit less glamorous. Qilin antler growth is regulated by their hormones. If a qilin's hormonal cycle is interrupted - usually when they get a bit too old and graduate out of breeding age or if they suffer an injury to their gonads that they somehow survive and heal from - their horns grow out of control in the following seasons. I don't blame people for getting spooked by them, they're pretty freaky looking, but the meat and products from the animal besides the antler should be fine. A lot of people in rural areas are superstitious about this kind of thing, and may not want to buy meat from a haunted qilin. Just keep that in mind.

...infected with red dragon fever? Hah, trick question! It was actually recently discovered that qilin and a few of their distant relatives are actually genetically immune to red dragon fever. I know we've all heard horror stories about hunters who think they caught a good prize steppedrake and only find out that it had RDF when they're spitting up blood a month later, but you don't have to worry about that here.

Gralloching and Butchering a Qilin

Now, once you've downed and killed a qilin, the first thing you want to do is gralloch it. This means quickly removing the internal organs to decrease the animals body-heat, ensuring that the meat stays fresh and free of disease. Once you've got your equipment ready and have donned an appropriate apron and gloves, you want to start by taking a sturdy, clean knife - preferably sterilized with alcohol beforehand - and cut through one or both of the qilin's brachial arteries. There's a diagram down below for where you want to cut - it's right near the shoulder. As long as the animal is facing downhill, this will be relatively quick.

A lot of hunters also cut the carotid artery as shown in the diagram to help this process along. It's also necessary for the next few steps of butchery. The problem with this for an inexperienced hunter is that on a qilin the carotid is very close to the hanger. Unlike with a cow, the hanger on most species of draconids contains the glands that help them produce their noxious saliva, and the noxious compounds produced are usually at their most concentrated in there, and those glands can lie very close to the surface of the skin. If you nick it with your knife, you are liable to pierce into the hanger and cause it to start leaking those fluids. Don't worry too much if you do. This is why we wear rubber gloves and aprons when gralloching and butchering qilin. If you do get some of that fluid on you, or some of the qilin's saliva, do not panic. If it's on non-rubber clothes, quickly squirt it with some of the non-drinking water (with optional base. If gets on exposed skin, it's going to feel pretty bad - like wasps repeatedly stinging you - but this is unlikely to injure you permanently. It can leave a mark, though, so you're going to squirt some of the non-drinking water on it. You shouldn't get it in your eyes because you're wearing appropriate eye protection, but if you do, quickly squirt water onto it and keep doing so until the sensation of stinging stops. Once you've made your bleeding cuts, you can also palpitate the chest to simulate a heartbeat to make it bleed faster. Continue to do this until the carcass is totally bled. Great qilin require some more specialized operations shown in the diagram as well because of their size and weight.

Once the animal is fully bled, you're going to make that cut near the carotid artery if you haven't already. Some people like to use a piece of wood or other divider at this point to make absolutely sure that the hanger is out of the way. You widen this cut until it's a very large slit that you can see the interior of the animal with. If you do it right, you'll probably notice three very distinct tubes: the trachea, esophagus and the Celsier organ. The esophagus is going to be closer to the top of the animal, the trachea is going to be just beneath it, and above the esophagus is the Celsier organ, which is going to look like a long, whitish, rubbery tube. Get a firm grip on the Celsier organ, and tug it away from the chest until it comes free. You can continue to pull it until a largish, ball-shaped organ comes out of the slit - we call this the whiffleball or baseball. The other end is connected to the hanger - don't pull it away from that end ever. You don't need to worry as much about nicking this one, it's the most durable part of the hanger-throat complex. It isn't edible, but it is valuable; keep it secure near to the hanger.

Next, you're going to use your hands to gently separate out a section of esophagus from the trachea, as close to the front of the animal as possible. Then, slice the esophagus into two cleanly. Tie off both cut ends of esophagus. You can do this with a knot or a cable tie. This helps prevent contamination of the meat by preventing the contents of the mouth and the stomach and intestines of the animal from spilling out. At this point, if you're butchering at a second location, this is where you stop, drag the carcass to wherever and then proceed. When transporting, make sure to cover the head, hanger and Celsier organ with a secure piece of tarp or heavy cloth so that none of them get snagged or torn on a heavy branch. Now I'll walk you through the butchery process and the best uses for different cuts, from head to tail. Speaking of:

The head is generally the first part of a qilin someone will process. By slicing through the trachea, the spine and the remaining muscle and connective tissue, the head will come totally free of the rest of the body. You can often sell the head as a trophy to someone specialized in stuffing and mounting animal heads. However, if you want to do something a little different, you also can hand the head over to a traditional tanner alongside the skin. The brains, the hanger and the still-attached Celsier organ can actually be used to help in the traditional tanning process. At this point, you can also remove the antler as a prize, cutting around the base and angling into the connective tissue until it comes free. Unfortunately, the head is also pretty devoid of meat. Except for...

The tongue of a qilin is actual edible. People call it the tanner's cut because they usually get the whole head, but there's nothing stopping you from taking it. After slicing the tongue out of the mouth, remove the skin by scraping it off with a sharp knife while running cool water over it on a tap. This will remove any excess saliva alongside the skin. Once all the skin is removed and you've dried, you can cook it. I suggest you slice it thin, salt it, and fry it in a pan with a little oil until brown and crisp, a bit like bacon - qilin tongue is very fatty, and will render a lot out a lot of that fat into the pan. You can fry some eggs in the fat and top both with a hearty serving of fresh greens and hot sauce for a classic tanner's breakfast. It's delicious, fatty like bacon but pleasantly gamey as well. For now, though, put the tongue aside and move to...

The skin. The hide of a qilin is pretty tough, but by following the diagrams I've provided you should be able to angle your knife through the connective tissue very effectively. If you accidentally slice through the skin, don't worry. It takes practice, and a lot of tanners can still work with the rest of the hide even if there's a large hole in it. Tanning qilin hide is a really in-depth process that I don't fully understand myself, but if you want to take that deep dive my friend Kili who is a really skilled Ocal tanner has a video series on it linked below. If you shallowly cut the underlying meat, that's also fine - somebody's going to be cutting into it eventually, just don't slice it all to ribbons. Once skinned, you can proceed to the organs, starting with...

The liver. Start by making a large cut down the center of the animal from the very bottom of the sternum to the cloaca. Cut shallowly and pry apart the resulting hole as wide as possible. Done correctly, you have opened the abdominal cavity and can start removing the organs. You can find the liver on top of the rest of the intestines, near to the gallbladder. Pull it away from the gallbladder very gently - it should be easy to remove and you don't want to accidentally break the gallbladder. The liver is probably the most commonly utilized organ in a qilin. It's fatty, rich in vitamins and minerals, and has a naturally soft and creamy texture alongside a grassy, livery taste that avoids tasting dragon-y as well. There are lots of preparations for it, but be careful - overconsuming qilin liver can cause overdoses on vitamin A, especially great qilin liver. This is why the primary way of consuming great qilin liver is diluting it with other meats in an Azak smoked sausage called lang nen. Also, your local FHB office can gives regular reports about the state of local qilin, and will tell you if the liver in local qilin looks safer or less safe this year. Next, you can look for...

The very fucked up gastrointestinal / urinary / reproductive system. I'm making this a new section because it's sort of in depth.

This is probably the biggest divergence if you're used to hunting and preparing mammals. Dragons, in general, are closer to chickens than any placental mammal, and so they have a cloaca - which in turn means that their urinary system, their digestive system and their reproductive organs are all connected. In a small animal like a chicken, this is easy to deal with. Here, it can get a little more complicated. First, find the place where you tied off the esophagus earlier, and continue downwards, removing the connective tissue until it's as free as possible. Then. find the cloaca at the bottom of the animal, and make an incision beneath it to . The only real easy way to handle this is to put some of your hand inside the cloaca. You're already covered in juices and viscera, some piss and shit and cum and egg isn't going to change how gross this is. Hold it tightly so that nothing spills out, then make the final cuts that lead back into your main cut that opened the cavity. Without letting your fingers out of the cloaca, pull out the gastrointestinal tract, urinary tract and reproductive organs - they shouldn't be hard to pull out if you're careful, but a second set of hands is always appreciated. Once they're out and you've washed your hands of the piss, shit, etc., you can start to take apart the whole assembly, starting with...

The gonads and other reproductive organs. This is where the sex of a qilin can change things a lot. Females generally have a good amount more meat and mass than males, but males have one advantage over them in terms of food: the oysters. Or, more properly, the testes. You can remove these and the duct that leads to the cloaca, then remove the duct and skin the oysters. They taste great breaded and fried like oysters from the ocean. Then move on to...

The urinary tract. This includes the adrenal glands, kidneys, the Müller organ (Azak people call this hwalang t'a which where it gets a translated Ocal name of compost organ) and the bladder. Start by pinching the urethra close to the cloaca, leaving a small space to snip away the urethra, allowing you move the rest of the organs separately. Most of the urinary system isn't very usable. However, the stuff in it - urea - is. A lot of Azak people still use the Müller organ and kidneys as an additive to compost, and there are tutorials online on how you can do that yourself. Everything else unfortunately must be discarded, leaving the...

Digestive tract. Also called the food pipe, you first want to free it from cloaca, which can be discarded at that point. You'll notice a few big sections: the first stomach, the second stomach, the small and large intestines, and the pancreas(es). The first thing you're going to want to find is the pancreas(es) behind the stomach. Dwarf qilin have two, all other species only have one. Gently free them from their place, and remove the gallbladder just above them. You'll be able to tell it apart very easily - it's actually a pretty bright green in most species. The pancreas of most species is tough and stringy in adults, but for dwarf qilin they remain soft and tender; you can cook them as sweetbread. You can then portion out the first and second stomach - they'll look very distinctive, unlike in mammalian ruminants - and the intestines. You can then remove the small intestine down to the cecum, the start of the large intestine, and separate those out as well. As with most dragon digestive systems, you're going to need to wash all of these thoroughly to avoid potential contamination. However, unlike many dragon species that are commonly eaten, qilin offal is a lot less strong-tasting, lacking most of the acidic notes present in something like the domestic broadnose. The first and second stomach can be made into mesang, a traditional Azak dish. I don't like it personally, but my daughter and wife both love it. Maybe you will too!

Returning to the main carcass, you can find...

The suet. You can find this behind where the kidneys were. This stuff isn't really viscera, but pure, hard fat that's a bit different from the muscle fat. Once you've removed it, you can separate out the fat from any unwanted connective tissue and veins and render it into, then straining and cooling into a delicious puck of solid fat. Qilin suet has a distinctive taste that makes it a great addition to spice up a basic gravy or stir fry. Then you can look at...

The lungs. Start by freeing up the trachea from the neck, and then returning to the body cavity where you can slice open the diaphragm. From there you should be able to remove the trachea and the lungs all at once. The trachea can then be removed and discarded. Qilin lung is very high in iron and is a bit of an acquired taste. You can stuff it with vegetables and spices, or use it chopped up as an ingredient in mesang. Then, you can look at...

The heart. Once you've found it, you can snip through the surrounding veins to have yourself a heart. Qilin heart is a delicacy. In many areas, haute cuisine restaurants will pay very good prices for them, especially dwarf qilin heart, calling it a once in a lifetime experience for people in the city. Alternatively, you can give up that paycheck, find some recipes for it and have that once-in-a-lifetime experience a lot more times in your life. You decide. With that, you should have all of the organs out, leaving only...

The primal cuts. After all of that, this is the easy part. Below is a clear diagram of the sections found on a qilin. Qilin meat is relatively consistent across the animal; it's grassy, but a lot finer than a lot of ruminants. You can imagine it as being somewhere at the midpoint between grass-fed beef and chicken, and it's the stuff that people like best and imagine when you say you're eating qilin. There are plenty of recipes already online for it, so you don't need to ask me for them. Just make sure to keep food safety in mind; qilin should always be cooked to the point that all parasites and disease can potentially be removed. Lastly, there's...

The bones. This is the last remaining part of the qilin you can really use - the hooves and backspurs are sort of useless. The marrow and bones of qilin are great for soups or stocks. You can also sell them to a bone carver if you're not interested in that.

With that, you've hunted and butchered your first qilin. I hope this will be useful to any person trying to hunt a qilin, or at the very least gave you a better idea of what goes on in the process. If you have any questions, I'll be doing my best to answer them in the comments on this page. Good luck out there!

-Tula Ves

Articles Under Revision

Dragons are egg-laying warm-blooded vertebrates of the order Dracones. Dragons are the largest order of the class Basilisceus, with at least 1,600 species falling under the label. Dragons are divided into several families, including Caeloregidae (wyverns, true dragons), Sinealidae (drakes, qilin and leviathans), and Sineartidae (wurms, sea serpents) among others. Dragons are exceedingly diverse in terms of diet, lifestyle and size. The largest dragons are the emperor leviathans, with the largest recorded specimen weighing around 112 tonnes and having a length of approximately 17 meters. Some sea serpents can reach greater lengths, but weigh significantly less. Dragons are thought to be descended from a basilisk-like common ancestor ancestor...

Arzhur's dragonnette, also known as the hummingbird dragon (Flexilinguis arzhuri), is an endangered species of dragon belonging to the genus Flexililinguis. Exclusively found on the Isle of Duley, Arzhur's dragonette is the smallest known. Like most other members of the genus Flexililinguis, Arzhur's dragonette's primary diet consists of the nectar found in flowers...

Qilin, also known as deer drakes or unicorns are large, oviparous members of the genus Unicornis. There are six known species of qilin, all of which are native to Ocalia. Qilin are most distinctively known for their large, singular antler that caused them to be confused with rhinoceroses. All qilin are obligate herbivores primarily feeding through browsing on leaves, shoots and other soft plant tissue. Qilin can also eat and digest tree bark with the aid of their reactive saliva...

Greater coalfish, also known as river devils (Calidoris monstrum) are aquatic coalfish (genus Calidoris). A member of the subfamily Dracoserpentinae, greater coalfish are found in the mangroves and reefs the Bay of Lanila, and are the largest known species of coalfish. They are vermiform, with an average length of 3 meters. Greater coalfish are considered by many to be an example of convergent evolution due to their resemblance to crocodiles and alligators in terms of hunting and feeding. Greater coalfish are primarily ambush predators, latching on to their prey and initiating a "death roll" that tears chunks off of their prey. As with most members of the order Dracones, greater coalfish have abnormally reactive saliva, which the greater coalfish have specialized to break down and "pre-digest" cartilage and bone. This reaction is exothermic, making the water around it warmer. This lead to a variety of myths that greater coalfish cook their food, or that they can breathe fire...

[songsofprotestpeacerevolution]

R.E.M. - Orange Crush

“Like most of our stuff it’s definitely an anti-war song, but it’s a subtle one, there was no real sign that it was a big protest song, so most people listened to it and didn’t realize. It’s most directly related to the indiscriminate use of Agent Orange in the deforestation of Vietnam and the horrible effect it had on everyone, from soldiers to civilians. It was just a terrible poison that was so widely used it caused a lot of pain and misery. Yes, there was some irony in the sweet deliciousness of the pop drink versus the horrible effects of this chemical. The ironic juxtaposition of those two terms was no accident.”

“The soldiers themselves were helpless before the decision by the government and the military to use this stuff. They had no say in the matter at all, yet they were the ones who were forced to suffer the consequences.” - Mike Mills

[wiisagi-maiingan]

Its really refreshing seeing someone defend bugs like ticks, cockroaches, and mosquitos. Its so hard to explain how nature isn't simple and you can't just wipe out a whole animal just because you don't like them.

I ADORE bugs and the more a bug is hated by people, the more love I give it because I think they deserve someone in their corner. I follow quite a few bug-specific blogs and bug-loving ecology blogs and I see the genuinely awful things people say about creatures they don't like and it really, genuinely scares me.

Bugs NEED us! They're the building blocks of ecosystems, and yet they get the least attention out of any animal in terms of conversation, solely because they don't look cute in commercials. Native bug populations ("bug" being a general term used here to refer to insects, arachnids, worms, and other creepy-crawlies) are dropping everywhere, while others are getting introduced to near areas by humans travel or habitat loss and becoming invasive and we're seeing the horrific effects of both of those things.

Fun fact: a huge factor in deforestation in North America is change in soil composition caused by invasive earthworms. Even the tiniest and seemingly insignificant creature is important.

It's easy to care about butterflies and honeybees (native honeybees are still struggling horribly) because they're pretty, but the "ugly" bugs are important too! Butterflies and bees are not the only pollinators, not by far, and pollination is not the only important job of bugs! We need to care about the worms, mosquitoes, ants, wasps, ticks, roaches, spiders, moths, flies, and other "gross" bugs. Our planet depends on them.

Anyway here's some pictures of a cool white-jawed jumping spider I met today while watering Morticia the Monstera.

[ailelie]

Dear lord. So. I mentioned before that I'm not vegetarian for ethical reasons and that, if I cared about ethics, I'd construct my diet and buying choices around minimizing deforestation.

So let's talk about what that'd actually look like.

These are the primary sites I reviewed:

Our World in Data

12 Major Companies Responsible for Deforestation

Based on these sites, the primary issues are beef, soy, palm oil, and paper production. The first three there are responsible for 60% of deforestation.

Interestingly, only 6% of soy production is for human consumption. The rest is for livestock or biofuels. So, I could trim down on my soy consumption, but if I were to start eating meat, I'd want to make sure I knew how the livestock was being fed so that they weren't reliant on soy.

The top company to avoid is Cargill, which is a bit tricky. Their clients include Unilever, Tesco, McDonald’s, Carrefour, Kellogg’s, Sainsbury’s, Mars, Petcare, Ahold Delhaize, Dunkin’ Brands, Nestle [x], Burger King, and Wal-Mart. They also have a lot of brands.

With Cargill, it seems the easier option is to write the various companies and policymakers to put pressure on Cargill to change their practices. [Completed Petition]

Okay...Cargill is 100% horrifying and cloaked in secrecy. [x]

Moving on.

Wilmar International Ltd primarily does palm oil. They claimed to be going toward sustainability, but it seems they've fallen off that wagon. But they're still getting rewards for their efforts. So this seems a bit like ymmv.

More companies to avoid or minimize: Walmart, JBS, IKEA, Korindo Group PT, Yakult Honsha Co. Ltd (yes, that yakult), Starbucks, McDonalds, Yum! Brands (e.g., KFC, Pizza Hut, Taco Bell), Proctor & Gamble, and Ahold Delhaize (e.g., Food Lion, Giant, Stop and Shop).

Sources to check to see how companies are doing are the Forest 500 and Rainforest Action Network scorecard.

Some of those will be easy. I live in Chicago--going to Walmart takes considerable effort. Others will be harder--I'm going to IKEA this weekend to get a part for my brand new bed, for instance. But, I don't shop there regularly. Cutting down on P&G brands will be hard. [See X, X].

...

...

...

This is too big. Nothing I do will actually have any impact. Any stand I take will be more for the principle of it than effect. Looking at Greenpeace for ways to help lower my contribution to deforestation through what I buy and use, the first idea is lowering meat consumption. I'm vegetarian, so done.

(I do think it'd be all right to eat some meat if it is local and you're certain the livestock aren't fed soy).

The next is to only purchase or use paper/wood products that are either recycled or sourced ethically (look for the Forest Stewardship Council mark).

Then, avoid palm oil. This is far, far more easily said than done. Plus, while current palm oil practices are horrendous, it apparently requires less land than any other vegetable oil to produce and so may ultimately be more sustainable than other options. So, palm oil isn't the problem, the current practices are. [X, X, X, X]

Reduce single-use plastics. Recycle and shop sustainably.

[Sources: X, X, X]

To distill all of that--be more aware of what you're buying and try to make choices that lean toward sustainability by reducing non-local meat, processed foods (that will hit both some of the brands to avoid from before and palm oil), disposable plastics, and anything that isn't or can't be recycled.

Everything is a lot. That's why, when I was a little kid, I hit on vegetarianism as something I could do. I don't think eating meat is morally wrong, but meat-for-food does contribute heavily to deforestation through land for the livestock and for growing their feed.

But I'm horrible about recycling. We didn't do it growing up and my last apartment didn't have recycling bins for pick-up. None of us are perfect. We just do what we can.

I have no desire to go zero-waste, but I can start thinking of ways to limit my trash output. I think that's a good next step in my goal to limit my personal contributions to deforestation.

At the same time, the only way our forests and rainforests are going to survive is if corporations stop destroying them. So I can contribute to organizations waging those battles.

I'm not vegetarian because my ethics, except, after thinking through all of this, maybe I am. The problem is that, if that is the case, I both need and want to start bringing the rest of my life in line with my ethical stance.

Great.

[ask-iamnotanalicorn]

Previous: The Discord Timeline

The Industrial Devolution Timeline:

The road to economic domination was creeping and insidious.

First, Nightmare Moon returned. Celestia and Cadance were able to subdue her, locking her in a (very comfortable) prison while Celestia sought a way to free her sister of the evil influence warping her mind. With the monarch so distracted and Princess Cadance struggling to take up the slack, a few opportunistic entrepreneurs began getting their roots into the market.

Then the Crystal War began, dividing Celestia’s and Cadance’s attention even further. The Changelings attacked, sowing destruction and distrust until Cadance defeated their queen. Tirek cut a swath through the countryside before being stopped, increasing the economic struggles. It was as if a domino of assaults on the Equestrian daily life had started, with none able to stop the ever-larger dominoes from toppling.

Celestia was terribly injured during the final fight that destroyed King Sombra. Luna finally overcame her rage and the parasitic magic fueling it, but went into seclusion out of shame and a desire to tend to her wounded sister. Cadance’s focus was split between post-war rebuilding in Equestria, assisting the confused, freed, and much-distrusted crystal ponies with stabilizing their crippled city, and tending to her own first child. With their leaders so distracted and the country still reeling from so many attacks, ponies desperately reached out for any kind of financial and necessities stability. 

Perfectly fertile soil for the country’s most hostile economic takeover in its history.

Flim and Flam’s tactics were simple yet effective: move in wherever large numbers of companies had collapsed and fill the void with simple, cheap necessities that anypony could afford. As their finances grew, they began to expand, beating out surrounding competition with their rock-bottom prices until they could either buy out or crush their competitors. They continued this strategy further and further out, their influence spreading like hives across Equestria until hardly any retailers of food, drinks, household goods, small machine parts, and pretty much every other goods reseller below industrial level still operated. (Although who knew what the future might hold for FlimFlam Industries?) Once competition decreased to almost nill, they raised their prices to just barely affordable, swelling their already full pockets.

By the end of the Crystal War, they had such a grip, so much financial and political power, that even if the princesses should realize the toxic hold this company has on the market, it will be a long road back to rebalancing the economy. The country has, regrettably, come to rely on Flim Flam Industries, and their stranglehold would not be easily broken.

Sales always dreamed of being a traveling salespony. He’d even gotten a taste of it before the war. But now... well, there was no one to sell for. Companies kept dying out from under him. And if it weren’t bad enough that FFI already sold cheap, unexciting product options, the further lack of competition gave them even less incentive to TRY. They could cut costs on everything from packaging to flavor to color options; there was absolutely no consideration for variety or improvement or innovation. Soon everything in those blasted pop-up depots came in bland, uniformly labeled containers, with names like FLOUR and SOAP and TOWELS. There was no ART to it, and worst of all, no heart. And certainly no need for a door-to-door sales technique - not when F&F Depots were on every corner and people already had little choice but to get their goods from them.

So that’s how Sales ended up here, running one of those blasted depots. It is barely salesponyship, but it was still the closest thing he could find to his special talent. Meanwhile pollution and unchecked labor laws are creeping out from the cities, and farms are being consumed for their timber and factory locations. Quills & Sofas went under, leaving Sales’ father without a job and one more worry for Salespitch. Everypony prays that Celestia would heal, that Cadance would realize the depths of what was happening and make some move to stop it, that even the once-evil Princess Luna rumored to be tending her sister in the castle would take a stand. But for now, FFI is taking full advantage of the rulers’ distraction and obliviousness to tighten their hold on the country’s economy. Sales works and keeps his head down; it’s too great an issue for one pony to tackle, especially a pony whose only real talent is talking.

He tries to remind himself that things could be worse. Despite crummy wages and the soul-deadening monotony of just grabbing standard crap off a shelf when asked, Sales IS making a living. He makes an effort to keep his depot looking like the pony who works there actually cares (a façade FFI has long since abandoned.) Black took up work as a stocker in the store, so at least they get to hang out. Pollution isn’t as bad in Featherhorn (yet), although the deforestation and smog have been spreading nearer. But Sales just can’t get around the fact that there’s a briefcase-shaped hole in his soul where good, honest, smart salesponyship was meant to be. It’s hard not to be bitter and miserable when your purpose has been almost completely taken away from you.  Still... if Sales can find a way to get a new company going without being ground under Flim and Flam’s hooves... maybe he can go back to doing what he loves, and the world will feel a little more right again. Fun Facts About The Flim Flam Timeline:

- I got my idea for a total economic takeover from a book 6 of the Pendragon series, “The Quillen Games” by D.J. MacHale. Its setting is a world where a single corporation has such control that they even own the people to an extent, but I didn’t want to go THAT dark (although this is still darker than my initial draft), so I stopped at just owning all of the selling outlets. Lack of competition in capitalism breeds complacency, leading to high prices with minimal improvement or variety. (That book may have also stuck in my mind because it was the first time an author so thoroughly pulled the rug out from under me that I was too depressed to finish the series. I can’t HANDLE that kind of catastrophic reversal, MacHale!!!)

- Sales’s dad, Sales Patter, lost his job as Head of Sales at Quills & Sofas after the company was eaten by FlimFlam Industries. He currently lives at home taking care of Pitch Perfect while Pitch Forward does her best to bring in funding through her competitive high-diving sponsorships. Sales and Black contribute money as well, although Black has a surprisingly well-stocked savings account that he refuses to explain to anyone.

- Flim and Flam offered Sales a job as their company spokespony, mainly because they loved the idea of having an ‘alicorn’ as their mascot. Obviously he turned them down, but he did still grudgingly accept a position at the Featherhorn depot since it’s the closest thing he can find to what he’s good at. (Flim and Flam do still like to give people a show, especially when it comes to the smoke and mirrors they must use to keep the wealthier populace and government from paying too much attention to some of the ways FFI cuts their spending - at the expense of their workers, mostly.)

- I’ve seen others do this timeline harsher; there’s a fimfiction that had an interesting take on Celestia being injured in her fight with Nightmare Moon and then IMPRISONED by Flim and Flam’s company so it could take over, which led to an ever-rising problem with pollution, underage workers, poor labor laws, and backhoof politics. Some of that does exist in this timeline, but I went with a severe injury and seclusion in the palace. The Princesses are still AROUND, but being carefully shielded from the truly dark nature of some of Flim and Flam’s machinations. It may just take someone getting their attention drawn to the right things to start the ball rolling...

- Sales and Patter do team up to create a small startup company, selling goods made by Featherhorn’s citizens to the local area. Black uses his connections as a Royal Service agent to sneak them into the palace, where they get an uber-rare meeting with Princess Celestia, who is blessedly awake enough to recognize the little AI and hear their plight. She convinces Luna, who has been taking care of her this whole time, that something needs to be done. Luna is grossly undereducated about modern economics and business practices, but she pulls Cadance in, and while Cadance works on investigating these horrible labor practices they’ve reported, Luna begins brushing up on her education and offers some protection to Sales’ little company. She does, in fact, find some obscure ancient laws that give them a leg up in the fight against FFI when they inevitably try to buy out, sue, and/or bankrupt Sales’ and Patter’s company into the ground. But they start making some headway. 

- It’s a long road back to a balanced market, and much of the work will be done by the Princesses. But the inspiration ponies draw from the changes they see starts the dominoes again - this time, in the direction of positive change.

Next Week: The Wasteland Timeline (finale!)

[fatehbaz]

I came across your post about the Sahel drought and it was really enlightening. Thank you for sharing! I would really like to know more about the colonial history behind it, do you know of any good books on the topic? I'll do my own research into the topic but I'm not really familiar with the region, so I'd really appreciate any recommendations you may have. I'll also look into articles but as those are less of a time sink, I figure I don't need to ask around about them. Thanks! :)

Thank you for your graciousness, the question, and the support. Though, I’m not a good person to ask. (Assuming we’re talking about this post where I claim that local-scale environmental degradation can have dramatic effects on global environmental trends in a short period of time, as in the case of colonial monoculture, deforestation, ungulate herd death, and precipitation in the Sahel, and its wider effects on Caribbean hurricanes, the mid-Atlantic, and global climate?) There is a whole genre of scholarly work about how NGOs, the W0rld B@nk, and I/M/F manipulate contemporary “peripheral places”, especially in Africa (following independence of the 1960s), and how these institutions carry out the work of dispossession, colonization, empire, extraction, etc. But I’m not too familiar with specific authors, scholars, books, etc. And a big disclaimer: I don’t like talking about more-technical environmental history outside of North American environments (or some parts of South America or Pacific Ocean littoral), because I don’t know much, so I don’t want to step too far out of my lane, and I’m only recommending some stuff because (1) of my interest in Holocene animal/plant distribution and extinction (including savanna/woodland/forest dieback and large mammals), and because (2) I’ve had mentors/acquaintances whomst worked with forests/horticulture in West Africa and the Sahel, and they’ve corroborated what the articles (listed below) suggest. In the past decade or two, since the advent of disk horse about “decolonization” and “multispecies justice,” it seems to me that academia is relatively more willing to explicitly identify extractivism/empire as a/the leading force in ecological degradation in a case like the Sahel. But still, to me, it also seems difficult to find scholarly/academic work about colonial and “post-independence” (read: neocolonial) environments in the Sahelian environment specifically because even when an author/academic is “liberal” or vaguely socialist-y or whatever, they still hesitate to fairly identify the colonial/imperial institutions which implemented the catastrophic environmental changes, and they also still frame events and narratives using terms like “underdevelopment” and “carbon sequestration” and “how can West Africans best exploit their environment for success/growth” (in other words, the writers are still focused on supporting extraction/development and “integrating” or “advancing” Africa by Euro-American standards, and are still engaging in a chauvinist or white-savior idea that the outsider/Euro-American “guidance” and “assistance” will “instruct” local communities how to “recover” from the era of more-overt colonization).

Just my opinion, though, from limited exposure. I am horrible with political theory. Anyway, here are some things that might be interesting?

Colonial/imperial/Euro-American role in drought, devegetation, soil death, and ungulate herd loss in the Sahel.

-- The Politics of Natural Disasters: The Case of the Sahel Drought. Edited by M.H. Glantz. 1976.

-- Melissa Leach and James Fairhead. Misreading the African Landscape: Society and Ecology in a Forest-Savanna Mosaic (1996) and Reframing Deforestation: Global Analysis and Local Realities: Studies in West Africa (1998).

-- The Lie of the Land: Challenging Received Wisdom on the African Environment. Edited by Melissa Leach and Robin Mearns. 1996.

-- Tor Benjaminsen and Pierre Hiernaux. “From Dessication to Global Climate Change: A History of the Desertification Narrative in the West African Sahel, 1900-2018.” Global Envionment Vol. 12 No. 4. 2019.

-- Kent Glenzer. “La Secheresse: The Social and Institutional Construction of a Development Problem in the Malian (Soudanese) Sahel, 1900-82.” Canadian Journal of African Studies. October 2013.

-- Hannah Holleman. Dust Bowls of Empire: Imperialism, Environmental Politics, and the Injustice of “Green” Capitalism. 2018.

-- David Anderson. “Depression, Dust Bowl, Demography, and Drought: The Colonial State and Soil Conservation in East Africa during the 1930s.” African Affairs. 1984.

Feedback loops of forest/woodland loss; and self-reinforcing forest dieback in the Sahel:

-- Patrick Gonzalez, Compton Tucker, and Hamady Sy. “A Climate Change Threshold for Forest Dieback in the African Sahel.” November 2006.

-- Fred Pearce. “Rivers in the Sky: How Deforestation is Affecting Global Water Cycles.” July 2018.

-- Peter Bunyard. “How the Biotic Pump Links the Hydrological Cycle and the Rainforest to Climate: Is it Real? How Can We Prove It?” Universidad Sergio Arboleda - Instituto de Estudios y Servicios Ambientales.

Sahel environment/climate affecting mid-Atlantic hurricanes and the Caribbean:

-- Mengqiu Wang et al. “The great Atlantic Sargassum belt.” Science. July 2019.

-- P.J. Lamb. “Large-scale tropical Atlantic surface circulation patterns associated with Subsaharan weather anomalies.” Tellus. 1978.

-- J.M. Prospero and P.J. Lamb. “African droughts and dust transport to the Caribbean: Climate change implications.” Science. 2003.

-- E.A. Shinn et al. “African dust and the demise of Caribbean coral reefs.” Geophysical Research Letters. 2000.

General cultural ecology and environmental history of the Sahel:

-- National Research Council. 1983. Environmental Change in the West African Sahel. Washington, DC: The National Academies Press.

-- National Research Council. 1983. Agroforestry in the West African Sahel. Washington, DC: The National Academies Press.

-- Jeffrey A. Gritzner. The West African Sahel - Human Agency and Environmental Change. 1989.

Another source that kinda incorporates many of these allegedly “disparate” aspects (colonization, climate, neocolonial lending institutions, devegetation, ungulate herd ecology, etc.):

A.R.E. Sinclair and J.M. Fryxell. “The Sahel of Africa: ecology of a disaster.” Canadian Journal of Zoology. May 1985.

Abstract: The Sahel is a fragile semiarid region extending through 10 countries south of the Sahara. Wild ungulate populations migrate to make use of   nutritious but very seasonal food supplies. In doing this, they maintain  a higher population size than they could as sedentary populations. Similarly, migratory pastoralists have traditionally lived with their cattle in balance with the vegetation. This balance was disrupted in the 1950's and 1960's by (i) the settlement of pastoralists around wells, and (ii) the expansion of agriculture north into the pastoralists' grazing lands. Land was lost both from overgrazing and from planting with cash crops coincident with increasing human and cattle populations. This has resulted in continuous famine in various parts of the Sahel since 1968. In addition, widespread soil denudation may be causing climatic changes towards aridity. [...] [Note that the 1950s/1960s settlement change coincides with “independence”.]

Some other stuff:

How devegetation in a seasonal woodland or subtropical/tropical forested area promotes self-reinforcing feedback loop of dieback (from Pearce, “Rivers in the Sky” 2018):

In another post I made about local Sahelian drought’s effects on global climate in far-away places:

The annoying graphic I made in that original post which illustrates the effect of this in the Sahel:

Which might promote hurricanes in the tropical mid-Atlantic:

And which might also promote things like “the largest seaweed bloom ever recorded”:

These noreasterlies, flowing over the Sahel, after traveling the tropical mid-Atlantic, also affect Amazonia:

“Forest species changes” and biodiversity loss in the Sahel, 1960 (independence era) to 2000. Graphic from Patrick Gonzalez, “A Climate Change Threshold ...” 2006:

--

Anyway, again, I’m not a good person to ask about this stuff. I hope some of these articles might be a good starting point to learn more, though.

[vegance]

just looking at direct emissions, the animal agriculture industry contributes to ca. 14.5% of global CO2 emissions. that is already a staggering number (comparable to ALL forms of transportation), but its not even the whole picture.

animal agriculture is also one of the biggest contributors to human made methane emissions, a GHG that is 84x more potent than CO2

also animal agriculture is a leading contributor to deforestation (especially the amazon rainforest). and deforestation contributes to ca. 9% of human CO2 emissions.

so animal agriculture is certainly one of the biggest contributors to human made climate change (and ocean plastic, loss of biodiversity, phosphorous footprint, antibiotic resistance etc.). not to mention the horrible effect it has on workers in that industry (x x).

even apart from the important ethical issue of non human animal suffering, going as plant based in your diet and clothes as you personally can is imperative, if you care about this planet and want to do your part in making it habitable and safe to live in for current and future humans.

[justanherbivore]

Vegans are not the enemy of Indiginous peoples

I've seen this claim made on every single social media platform, from various kinds of pages. But not once have I ever seen someone making this claim actually share accurate information about what really effects Indiginous people the most: meat consumption and global warming.

So here, I'll do the leg work for everyone who reads this. And you'll notice, these sources aren't coming from a dedicated vegan website. Cut that out before you even think of it.

"Cattle are by far the biggest source of emissions from animal agriculture, with one recent study showing that in an average American diet, beef consumption creates 1,984 pounds of CO2e annually. Replacing beef with plants would reduce that figure 96 percent, bringing it down to just 73 pounds of CO2e."

"By 2017, the number of cattle grazing on land that used to be covered in thick canopy had grown to about 60 million - 12 times what it was in 1975.

Meanwhile, the deforested area displaced by cattle grew by nearly 1,000%.

Today, Brazil has the planet's second largest herd of cattle and produces 10 million metric tonnes of beef per year. It's also the world's top exporter providing 20 percent of global beef exports, with China as its largest customer."

https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/as-earth-warms-the-diseases-that-may-lie-within-permafrost-become-a-bigger-worry/

"This past summer anthrax killed a 12-year-old boy in a remote part of Siberia. At least 20 other people, also from the Yamal Peninsula, were diagnosed with the potentially deadly disease after approximately 100 suspected cases were hospitalized. Additionally, more than 2,300 reindeer in the area died from the infection. The likely cause? Thawing permafrost."

"Natural disasters don’t hit everyone equally. We know this is true when it comes to hurricanes, and a new study indicates a similar pattern of discrimination exists regarding the impacts of wildfires."

And its not just global warming thats hurting vulnerable people more, it's corporations that care more about money than they do other human beings.

The report Blood and Water details numerous cases of abuse, on vessels flying the flags of both developing and developed nations, from the E.U. and U.S. to Asia and South America. It includes recent investigations revealing serious abuses on vessels ranging from Taiwanese long-liners fishing far out at sea for high-value tuna, to desperate Vietnamese trawlers illegally entering Thai coastal waters because of the collapse of their own fisheries.

"Case Farms plants are among the most dangerous workplaces in America. In 2015 alone, federal workplace-safety inspectors fined the company nearly two million dollars, and in the past seven years it has been cited for two hundred and forty violations. That’s more than any other company in the poultry industry except Tyson Foods, which has more than thirty times as many employees."

-

I could go on, and on, and on. You aren't helping these people by being anti-vegan. You're going with the tide and supporting the very corporations that do all of these horrible things. I'm not saying that fruit and vegetable agriculture is perfect, no one is. But you can't pretebd that you're taking the road of less harm to your fellow humans when global warming harms everyone.

[pointless-yearning]

Sorry for the vent. Ignore this. But if you ARE going to read this, then here:

T W / / mentions of s*xual ass*ult, miscarriages, vile language, talk of effects of pregnancy, and more on that subject.

Also, I didn’t proofread this, and I most definitely do NOT wish to go back to this later on. I probably should’ve just posted this on private or left it in my drafts but f*ck, I might as well express my opinion. I’m pro-choice.

I hate it when people say that women just “carry” the baby like- no bitch. She full on fucking MAKES that child. It’ll affect her in so, so many ways. Physical, emotional. Her skin, muscles, skeleton, brain, hormones will all be affected. It isn’t a “bun in the oven” because you place the bun in there AFTER you placed ALL the main ingredients. So it’s a horrible comparison. A woman’s egg cell has 23 chromosomes. So does a man’s sperm cell. But not only does she hold half the “ingredients” if we’re gonna stay on the subject of cooking, but she ALSO has to “bake the bun” which is full of pain and misery. And taking the bun out is full of pain, misery and blood. Giving birth could even result in DEATH. And if she doesn’t get a man’s “ingredients” then she STILL. HAS. TO. FUCKING. BLEED. EVERY. MONTH. So, no. When men take pride in the fact that their dicks ejaculate sperm and when they belittle pregnancy and period pain because of some dumb misogynistic shit (“oKaY bUt hAvE yOu eVer bEeN kiCKeD iN tHe bALLs”), I will NOT just sit there with a forced smile on my lips and listen to all the bullshit they’re slipping. I’m so so SO fucking pissed at whoever says that fertilizing an egg is just as hard as your insides creating a whole ass fucking human being, or that getting a hit in the nuts after you were an asshole is just as unfair and hurts just as much as having your vagina bleeding for a week once a month and getting cramps, which feel like someone is turning your insides out while repeatedly stabbing them with a knife btw. Ooh or when people say to a woman that wants to get an abortion that she should’ve been more responsible or she shouldn’t have had sex if she didn’t want a child or that she should live with her mistakes. FIRST OF ALL, there’s r*pe that can be brought in the conversation, SECOND OF ALL, medication, and sometimes even condoms, fail to do the job, THIRD OF ALL, if men are going to go and feel so entitled because they have sperm, then they might as well get the blame for the pregnancy, FOURTH OF ALL, a child shouldn’t be labeled as a mistake, and FIFTH OF ALL, a small “mistake” shouldn’t have such cruel consequences. Some people act like they have a say over another person’s body when really, they don’t. And they shouldn’t fucking guilt trip that person into feeling bad for getting an abortion. Some people just aren’t ready, mentally, physically, or financially, for that shit, or they just don’t want the mf child- WHO ISNT EVEN A FUCKING CHILD YET SMH- and being forced to go through the pregnancy, which, I repeat, has life-long effects on them, is so so SO fucking unfair. And when the pregnant person in question is UNDERAGE after getting pregnant because of, for example, some dumb makeout session that turned into drunken, unprotected sex, that’s when I’ll get extra fucking pissed. If an underage person can’t adopt a child- if a CHILD cant adopt another child- then why THE FUCK should they be forced to give birth to one?? Istg there are so many wrong things with humanity and some of y’all act like people searching for ways to get a miscarriage because abortion is illegal in their country is okay. I’m sO fucking disappointed. Also When people call themselves “pro-life” because they’re anti abortion but don’t gaf abt the baby after it’s out if the vagina makes me want to actually go lunatic and beat the shit out of them. Like, no Karen, you’re not “pro life” you’re just “pro birth”. I don’t see u being vegan, I don’t see you fighting against police brutality because NO ONE SHOULD BE FUCKING MURDERED OR EVEN HURT BY THE POLICE WHAT THE FUCK, and I most definitely do NOT see you donating or even taking a minute to even THINK and sympathize to children in hospitals. I don’t see you actively tring to talk about how wrong deforestation is, or how we should stop eating so much meat and how we should stop going hunting because it has a negative impact on different, multiple species. These fake ass “pro-life”rs are, ironically, going to be the death of me.

[somethingusefulfromflorida]

DC:IRL Gotham Rogues Gallery

My original post: https://somethingusefulfromflorida.tumblr.com/post/190712516986/dcirl

There are no super powers, no magic technology or medicine, no cartoony gimmicks, just normal people going about their lives in the big city (well, not “normal,” per se).  In the real world there are no “super villains,” so in this universe these people are just mundane criminals with varying degrees of severity.  What would be the real world implications?  Nobody wears a mask.  Nobody plays a character.  What if their mental illnesses and motivations were grounded in reality rather than fantasy comic book land where “crazy people” commit crimes for fun?  What if Gotham was just New York, a regular city, not some dystopian hellscape?

John Doe: little is known about the so-called Joker Killer, this John Wayne Gacy wannabe who murdered 37 Gothamites in the last 10 years.  He’s like the Zodiac Killer, Son of Sam, the Unibomber, always leaving calling cards for the police, daring them to track him down.  Nobody knew if he was just one guy or if there was a group of people using the Joker alias as a scapegoat to throw the police off their trails.  When the culprit was finally caught, it was revealed that he’s a phantom, he didn’t have any government records, and to this day nobody is sure how he managed to cover his tracks so well.  He was found guilty, but legally insane, so was remanded to Arkham State Psychiatric Hospital.  He doesn’t play well with the other inmates. Or the doctors. Or the guards.  He doesn’t have henchmen, he doesn’t ransom world leaders, he’s just a serial killer with a theme, not a domestic terrorist with goals.

Oswald Cobblepot: a mobbed up ex-lawyer who runs a night club as a front for his criminal activities. He’s basically Roger Stone is Roger Stone was smart enough to avoid going to prison.  He’s a public figure in Gotham, and pretends to be a philanthropist to cover for the fact that he’s very clearly corrupt.  He owns multiple buildings with his name on them, he refuses to rent apartments to black people, he molests women and brags about it on tape, and has run (unsuccessfully) for mayor, governor, senate and president of the United States on multiple occasions.  Everyone knows he’s guilty of something, but the GCPD refuses to look into his finances because some of them are on his payroll.

Harvey Dent: Gotham District Attorney known for fighting corruption, he was nearly assassinated by the mob, horribly disfigured over 50 percent of his body.  He struggles with bipolar disorder, exacerbated by his incident, but continues to fight the good fight, all the while going through therapy.  There’s a 50-50 chance he’ll recover and return to the practice as an underdog or have a mental episode and become a Howard Hughes recluse.  As a public figure he has access to all the help he needs, he is privileged not to have to suffer in silence like so many other mentally ill people.

Eduardo Dorrance: he’s this universe’s version of Fidel Castro.  A left-wing extremist from a small Caribbean island, he killed his way to head of the communist party and overthrew the government in the Santa Prisca Revolution in the 1960s.  President Kennedy instated an embargo against the island, after which the Soviet Union attempted to store chemical weapons there, which Dorrance co-opted to be used against political dissidents and human rights workers.  He is nicknamed Bane by the western world, and is one of the last holdouts of the Cold War, though he is aged and in poor health now (there are conspiracy theories that he’s actually been dead for years), and has pawned off leadership responsibilities to his brother.

Pamela Isley: environmental activist, conservationist, speaks out against climate change and deforestation, wanted by Interpol because she killed a few of the billionaires responsible for the Amazon fires.  She’s labeled a terrorist by the US government, with conservatives going so far as to call her the female Osama bin Laden.  Whether or not she really is a terrorist is up for debate, but either way she’s nowhere near bin Laden, they just want the association to stick so nobody can defend her actions without defending bin Laden’s (”see, this is what happens when socialism and radical feminism are left unchecked,” they say).  She can’t control plants or hypnotize people, but she’s not just a hemp loving hippy, she’s a revolutionary who may or may not have worked with the Dorrance regime to promote anti-government movements throughout South and Central America.

Victor Fries: his wife Nora was diagnosed with early-onset McGreggor’s disease, a degenerative neurological disorder which is invariably fatal within 10 years.  He has dedicated his life to finding a cure, but has recently come under federal investigation when a whistle blower revealed that he has been performing unethical medical experiments to test his research.  Some media outlets campaign for him, others against him; he’s fighting for a good cause, but his results are invalid because the tests were performed under suspicious circumstances outside a controlled laboratory environment.  He is at risk of losing his medical license, and his funding is being slashed as he is under review.

Edward Nygma: a local nobody, he suffers from antisocial personality disorder and OCD.  When the Joker Killer rose to prominence, he was compelled to try and outdo him, inspired by his notes taunting Gotham police.  Also like the Zodiac Killer, Nygma has resorted to cryptograms and ciphers, trying to prove his intelligence and his ability to evade detection.  So far he has done a much better job than the joker, as he is still at large, with no known suspects.  He can’t not commit crimes, he is drawn to them, he can’t stop himself no matter how hard he tries and he can’t afford medication to keep himself in check.  He secretly hopes he’ll get sloppy one day and the cops will be able to trace him, but his superiority complex prevents him from doing anything that would be personally disadvantageous.  He would benefit from therapy, should he ever find himself in Arkham State Psychiatric Hospital.  He’s resentful of men like Harvey Dent who he thinks can just make their problems go away with money (he doesn’t realize that Dent has just as many problems as he does and that mental illness can effect anyone regardless of status)

Selina Kyle: she lives in the slums outside the city proper, the sprawling crime ridden suburban cesspool that is Upstate Gotham.  She subsists as a petty thief, breaking and entering into super-rich apartment buildings and selling the goods to pay her bills.  She’s not a bad person, she’s just in a bad situation, born into poverty in a country with no class mobility.  She’s troubled, abused, and on the brink of homelessness at any given moment, she does what she needs to do to get by.  She’s not a maser jewel thief, she doesn’t break into museums or banks, her scores have much lower stakes than that.

Jonathan Crane: a doctor at Arkham State, he was arrested and tried for criminal misconduct.  He would regularly torture the patients, withholding basic necessities, making them live in filth, locking many of them up in solitary confinement for months on end to see how they would react.  He wanted to prove that his patented “isolation therapy” was the most effective treatment for any number of mental illnesses (in reality, he was just a sadist who had authority over people and wanted to show it).  He drove dozens of patients mad, making them question their own sanity by making them stay awake for long periods of time and playing audio recordings in their rooms which he denied he could hear.  He played on their greatest fears, using information they gave to their therapists against them, and would then punish them if they stopped talking.  He was sentenced to 5 years in prison, but was not labeled a flight risk because he was a celebrity (think Dr. Oz or Dr. Phil), and subsequently fled the country before he was to report to Black Gate.

Harleen Quinzel: also a doctor at Arkham State, her goal was to make as much money as possible by writing a tell-all book about one of the patients and charging exorbitant amounts of money for therapy sessions.  She honed in on John Doe, the Joker Killer, because he was the biggest name in the hospital and had refused to talk to any doctors before her (he killed one and has seriously injured seven, but he already has multiple life sentences in a state without the death penalty, so they can’t get rid of him).  They both think they are smarter than the other and can play them like a fiddle, Doe by pretending to be receptive to her, and Quinzel by treating him like he’s a victim of circumstance.  Over the years, he ends up manipulating her, having her smuggle contraband for him which he eventually uses to escape, for which she is fired and arrested.  No clown theme, no sexual relationship with her client, just your run of the mill criminal misconduct.