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meichenxi · 7 months ago

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Language learning: slow learning versus toxic productivity

Or: the process in crisis

Five years ago, all of the productivity advice I read (and gave out) as a successful self-learner of many different languages had one basic premise: that I was not doing enough, and that I could always be doing more.

Several burnouts later, running headlong from one mental illness into another, I'd like to invite you to entertain the exact opposite idea: there is a limit to what you can do. I have run face-first into mine on multiple occasions, and burnt out. At many points I've stopped learning the language at all. Most importantly, I've learnt to be distrustful of the very premise that all of the so-called productivity or optimisation advice is based on.

More is not always more.

Listen to a podcast in the target language whilst you exercise. Exercise to give yourself more energy to learn your target language. Talk to yourself in the shower in your target language. Do Anki whilst eating breakfast. Listen to Glossika whilst walking to work. Change your phone settings to your target language. Bullet journal. Manage your time. Make friends in your target language. Control your time. Write a diary. There's always enough time. These are all things I have done myself and recommended others do, to increase exposure to the language, to increase productivity.

Productivity? What productivity? What, exactly, is it that we are producing? I am producing sentences and words but - for who? Who is listening? Nobody's here, in my room, at 7am on a Sunday. If productivity were just speaking or writing, I'd be productive in my native language too, by virtue of speaking out loud. Or conversely, in language learning circles, should we measure it in terms of input? How many hours did you spend listening to Chinese yesterday? What about today? Is there anything you do in your life, in your daily life, that you could optimise? You're wasting time. There's time here, for those that want it. If you want to get ahead, to be successful, to be a good language learner, you have to know how to use that time. Go online, and debate over which tools are the best; watch your videos. What exactly is it that is being produced?

Productivity is a measuring tool for concrete output: the productivity of a field means how much crop it can yield per harvest. The productivity of a factory is how many mobile phone chargers it can bring to market per year. There are direct and measurable ways to increase this sort of productivity. But what is productivity when it comes to knowledge work? Cal Newport's work, The Minimalists, Essentialism: they all run into the same problem, which is that nobody seems to know what 'productivity' for knowledge workers means at all. You can look at a factory line and see which parts need greasing up, figuratively or literally: it is very difficult, on the other hand, to look at the work of a self-contained writer and tell her where she is going 'wrong'. (And by 'wrong', I mean - slow.) And language learning is an even more particular subset of that particular subset of work.

You could judge a novelists' productivity two ways: by the 'busyness' of her daily writing routine, or the amount of novels she produces. But what exactly is being produced when we learn a language? What is the end product?

In some ways, language learning as a hobby is even more playful than traditionally thought of arts and crafts. (By 'play' I mean something which is done for its own sake, and which is pleasurable, and which may yield next to no monetary reward.) We might think of the poet as sitting on a tree and dangling his feet in the river, a vision of artful indolence, but at the end of the day there is output - a poem. A knitter has a jumper. A potter has a pot. But language learning doesn't follow this [work] + [time] = [tangible output] structure. We can't even use the second metric of 'productivity' to measure it at all. Something is being done, of course - I can learn to speak Greek, and speak it markedly better after two months than one - but my point is you can't look at a day's work and say, this is exactly how much I learnt. Learning is not memorisation in the short term - it's receiving input, and practicing how to wield and use a structure. It doesn't happen over the course of a ten-minute podcast.

Learning happens - encoding happens - when the brain is doing other things. In other words, much like every creative process, you need downtime. You need rest, and sleep, and fun, and brightness and joy in your life. You might 'remember' a bunch of words on Anki, but you need to sleep before you can review them again: that's the whole point.

There is a much wider problem here, a culture of goals and optimising your life and glowing up, and to be honest, I find it disturbing. I think that for a very long time my language learning metrics were a stand-in, a relic, for the kinds of unhealthy and obsessively perfectionist thinking that gave me an eating disorder. How many of us truly believe - genuinely, with every inch of our heart - that we are better people if we 'better' ourselves? Learn more. Exercise more. Study more. How do you feel about yourself at the end of a day, exhausted, because you've completed day 75/100? Do you feel better about yourself because you've achieved? I'm guessing that you do.

For many people - including for myself - this wider culture has spilled over into their hobbies. Hobbies like language learning in particular are a target for this because they are so easily quantifiable - and we are encouraged, if we want to succeed, to quantify them. How else will we know how to improve?

Over the last few years, after burning out, after living off grid and without wifi and doing extreme minimalism and a lot of other lifestyle experiments to try and understand why modern life is so fucking hard, it's become clear that most systems of 'productivity' measure 'optimisation' by getting the most done in a day, but they don't stop to question whether you should be doing those things at all.

They don't stop to ask: what matters? They don't stop to ask: why am I trying to write a novel, finish my dissertation, pursue a romantic relationship, get healthy, learn ice-skating, learn to cook, look after my aging parents, and learn guitar at the same time? They don't ask: how do I prioritise, and where do I find silence? They ask: how do I cram more time in the day? They don't ask: how do I slow time down? They don't ask: how can I know what matters, if I never give myself space to think?

In other words: 'productivity' in language learning is measured by 'busy-work', by how much you can see from the surface.

You can't measure how well the learning is going, exactly, but you can measure how many hours a day you show up and grind. Whether or not that struggle is the best use of your time, or whether you're spending the time on things that will truly bring you value and quality, is a different question altogether.

And it's not one most 'productivity culture' will ever ask.

There will be things in your language learning journey that, to borrow from self-help terminology, no longer serve you. Habits and relics and resources and mindsets that worked for you once, or no longer did. Those books that are too advanced that you feel like you 'should' be able to read. That textbook that's been sitting beside your bed for a year. That habit of scrolling social media in your target language that was helpful when you were at a more intermediate level, but does little for you now that you're advanced.

Take stock of these. Simplify. Do less, but do it better. Productivity culture never stops to ask: what can I do without? It always asks, instead: how can I do more? But maybe - just maybe - the way to do more is to focus on fewer things, but do them well.

Multi-tasking isn't multi-tasking, but switching quickly between different focuses of attention. The average American owns 300,000 things, and watches television for 4-5 hours a day. On average, if you are distracted, it takes you 20 minutes to reach the same level of deep focus: but the average American office worker opens an email within six seconds of receiving it. Are you any better with your phone? How much time do you spend there? If you meditate, that's wonderful, but do you have any time to let yourself think? To walk and to understand how to feel? I don't want to sound like a boomer, but: can you name the birds? Do you live in a place, not just a room?

Stop trying to be 'productive'. Do less. Do it well.

I am now facing a wall in my learning of Chinese, and I'm still not sure how to get around it. The reason for this is because so much of the advice I gave others around language learning, and so much of the advice I found online, is focused on this sort of optimisation. But I no longer want to be listening to something, to be watching something, every second of every day. I have a partner to love and a house to appreciate and I want to spend time, humming and pleasant, alone with my thoughts, and it's summer, dear diary, and I don't want to stay indoors. Routines can keep you afloat, but they can also drown you. Do something different. Do something new. Do something that is not productive, that produces nothing, idle away, walk to work without music and perhaps when you sit down to your language learning that evening, you'll be filled with a renewed vigour and love for it. Do it because you love it, not because you scheduled it in your calendar.

A lesson, related, from my martial arts teacher. He said:

If you are tired, do not train. If you do not train, rest. 'Rest' does not mean go on your phone.

The same principle applies here. If you are tired of learning, which you may well be, rest. Not going on your phone, not watching Netflix. I mean taking a walk and sitting under the tree and looking at the patterning of the sky. I mean lying with your dog and absently scratching his tummy. If you're tired, and you have the luxury to stop - stop. Let yourself be tired. Don't drink caffeine. Sleep.

Last year, I was able to write 340,000 words of fiction because I focused on one thing: writing my book. Apart from things that I literally needed to do to survive and maintain my health and relationships around me, I didn't set a single other to-do. My daily list looked like: write for three hours. Not a word limit. Not exercise, though I ended up doing that, not learning a language. I imagine that if I had tried to focus on Chinese at the same time that I wouldn't have achieved anywhere near half the result. I still learnt Chinese, a very decent amount - I went to China and Taiwan for three months in total! - but I did it because I wanted to, of a whim, on a Sunday, something fun. It wasn't a must, or anything I was forcing myself to do. Many days I didn't do any Chinese at all. It was so immensely freeing to be able to think, at 11am: I'm finished for today. Even when I was at work, because I knew I was just there to pay the rent, I felt serene. Stressed on a day-to-day level, certainly, because all work is stressful, but - there wasn't any striving. I just did the best I could. And that was enough.

I am writing this, now, as I come out of my first ever information-overload burnout. I've burnt out, but I've never experienced one of these before: even looking at a book, at a phone, physically hurt my eyes. I couldn't bear to listen to people speak and would lock myself away in my room. I physically felt I could not talk, and had to take extensive time off work. Even looking at a pen and a blank page was too much; listening to podcasts was too much; reading the instructions for dinner was too much too. The only way I could heal was by doing absolutely nothing at all. That period shocked me deeply, because it showed me how absolutely dependent I was on having some input of information all of the time. No wonder I was tired.

I know, now, that there are lots of movements built around this same idea, by frustrated learners all over the world: the growing realisation that metrics and Excel and polylogger and tracking tracking tracking can't be the only way to learn. That a list of the number of books you've read in one year is hardly indicative of how well you understood those books, and what you learned from them. You've read 20 books this year already - good job. When do you think about them? What time do you spend on reflection? Why did you choose those books? Which chapters, and which characters, hit you the hardest? Why?

Minimalism, deep work, 'monk mode', essentialism, every writer's dream to run away and write in a cabin in the woods, slow learning, Buddhism, Stoicism, Marie Kondo-ism, the art of less, project 333, my no-buy-year, slow fashion, slow food, slow travel:

What all of these philosophies have in common is the idea that doing things deliberately ('mindfully') means 1) doing things slowly, 2) doing things well, and 3) doing things one at a time.

I am now at a place in my life where I understand the value of time alone with my thoughts. I don't want to listen to podcasts every minute of the waking day, because I need time to think about them. I need time to let the ideas for my novel grow in the dark. Nothing can be heard in noise; so make space for silence. I am a member of the real, living, breathing world, and that means I cannot devote 8 hours a day to Chinese television shows like I could when I was 20. I have to call my father. I have to do the dishes. I want to flex my creative muscles in other ways. Alternatively - I no longer believe that my worth is tied up inherently with how well I do my hobbies.

You're just some guy. There's freedom in that. You, my friend - you suck <3

Let yourself be bad. Let yourself be mediocre. Let yourself 'slide backwards' or regress, because all that means is that you're putting focus somewhere else. It'll come back. It always does.

I'm no longer comfortable, therefore, with the way that the language learning community tackles productivity. Please don't misunderstand; a lot of us have time spare that we could use to do things 'better' for us. I know. But I just believe now that getting rid of things, like the time you spend on your phone, is going to be more helpful in the long run than trying to force yourself into some gruelling, achievement-centric regime that collapses from within after two months of struggle and self-flagellation.

The other realisation I have had is just how much happier I am spending more time being alive, really alive, and less time in front of a screen. For a language like German or Gaelic that's much easier, because you can study with books, but with Chinese you always have to study to some extent with audios, flashcards, computers. Especially if - like me - you can read novels without a dictionary, but cannot handwrite even your Chinese name. So where next?

I don't have any answers. I'm not sure how to pair the two things together, to be honest, because almost all of my language learning has traditionally made use of technology. It's all been goal-orientated, systems-orientated, and despite the fact that I've failed at using these systems every day for years, despite the fact that Anki has NEVER worked for me, despite the fact that I have spent hundreds if not thousands of pounds on courses here, there, a wealth of overwhelm and five thousand words saved on Pleco, did I read that right? Five thousand. No wonder I'm stressed.

Regardless of happiness, it's much easier to achieve a state of deep focus and work when you're not online. After my period of information burnout, I feel actual physical pain from the weight of choices online. It's exhausting. I'm watching a Chinese show, but I want to go on tumblr. I'm on tumblr, but I feel guilty for not watching the Chinese show. I'm constantly torn between doing this and that, never fully committing to anything, seeing a post by Lindie Botes and thinking, damn, she's good. I should be better. But I don't want to compare myself to her. Do you know what? She is good. I admire her immensely. But I don't want to judge my self-worth by some imagined scale of productivity anymore - and, the more time passes, the more I'm not sure what 'productivity' in the context of language learning even means.

Try slow, focused, deep learning. You might just find it works.

There's something refreshing, almost counter-cultural, anti-capitalist, anti-consumerist, anti-rat-race, about this thought. Slow learning. I think there's an answer here, somewhere. It's a problem I've been dancing around for a while; and do you remember how you learnt your first foreign language? For me, it was on the floor, absolutely absorbed in German comic books, flicking through the dictionary furiously and scribbling things down in a notebook. I only had one book, and one dictionary, and one grammar book. I want to go back to that sort of simplicity. There was joy in that.

One again: I don't have any answers. I don't know exactly what direction this blog is going to go in, as I wrestle with these sorts of meta-problems. I'd love to hear your thoughts. And for now, if there's one thing I'd like you to take away from this long and frankly absurdly rambling post (thank you for bearing with me!) it's an alternative answer for the question I get so often, about what you can do to learn the language when you're tired, because:

Yes, you could watch reality TV shows in Chinese, or you could give yourself permission to be human. You could rest.

Thanks guys. Meichenxi out <3

#langblr #language learning #languages #productivity #productivitytips #^ tagging it with all of the above so it reaches the target audience of stressed out 17 year olds #my dudes. my guys. you are loved. or if you are not now - you will be #all will be well

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adoresia · 1 month ago

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── .✦ 𝐈𝐌𝐏𝐔𝐋𝐒𝐈𝐕𝐄 𝐃𝐄𝐒𝐈𝐑𝐄𝐒

⌗ PAIRING : Yuji Itadori x Blackfem!Reader

⌗ SYNOPSIS : Yuji Itadori has a brilliant idea: sneak off campus for a “stress-free” day of fun. The problem? His version of sneaky involves flailing like a bird, tripping over rocks, and nearly concussing himself twice. Somehow, you still agree to go with him because he’s charming, stupidly cute, and you might be a little in love with him.

⌗ CW : Fluff, humor with a sprinkle of chaos, Minor injuries (Yuji being clumsy as usual), Slight rule-breaking (sneaking off campus), Heavy doses of secondhand embarrassment, suggestive (One intense makeout session at the end)

⌗ Sia here ! : based off of this request 😚 thank you so much for requesting anon i hope you enjoy :3

It started, like most things with Yuji, absolute chaos and impulsivity.

You had been sitting on the training field, bored per usual, flipping through a textbook while Yuji lay sprawled out in the grass, fiddling with a twig zoned out and in his own world, you could say. His restless energy was almost contagious, and you could feel him gearing up to say something impulsive—his knee was bouncing, his fingers twitching. It’s like you could tell he was going to say something silly, but he’s literally yuji. Everything that comes out of his mouth is silly to be honest.

You were staring at him intensively, trying to figure out what he was going to blurt out, but it’s he’s always unpredictable and his twisted face wasn’t helping. It felt like hours went by before he finally opened his mouth to blurt out :

“Let’s sneak out!”

You blinked at him. “I beg your finest?”

Is he silly? What did you even expect from him at this point.

“Let’s sneak off campus!” He sat up like he just figured out the cure to cancer, the twig discarded in favor ultimately snapping him out of his zoned out state. “C’mon, don’t tell me you don’t wanna get out of here for a bit. Just you and me—no Gojo, no missions, no… I dunno, scary cursed wombs or whatever.”

You deadpanned. “Should I slap you? So we can both get caught? I’d rather follow the rules then have Gojo sensei peaking at us with his 6 eyes for the rest of my life.”

“Rules,” he said, waving his hand dismissively. “Rules are for, like, boring people. Are you boring?”

“Should I slap you times 2?” you shot back, offended.

“I’m gonna take that as a no for my own safety.” He said reluctantly while he hopped to his feet and pulled you up with him. “I promise you’ll live, let’s go cmon.”

“No, I actually won’t. We’ll get caught and it’ll most likely be because of you not gonna lie.”

“Okay not I’m offended I’m actually really stealthy if I do say so myself. We won’t get caught if we’re sneaky,” Yuji said, and the mischievous twinkle in his eye told you he was already planning the heist of the century. “Think about it: fresh air, food that doesn’t taste like Gojo’s questionable cooking experiments, freedom.”

You crossed your arms, trying to look unimpressed. “And how do you think we’re getting past Gojo?”

“I’ll think of something,” he said confidently. “He’s probably watching an 4 hour long mukbang compilation or annoying Nanami—his guard’ll be down!”

To be honest it did convince you to an extent, Gojo could watch those compliations for hours on end, not even one of his 6 eyes could divert his attention. Which gave you both time to go and come back without him even realising.

You sighed, shaking your head. “And why exactly should I go along with this?”

Yuji paused, then stepped closer, his grin softening into something a little more persuasive. “Because I want to spend time with you,” he said, his voice warm and sincere. “Just us. No interruptions, no stress. You deserve that, y’know?”

Your resolve wavered instantly. He always knew exactly what to say to get you to drop your guard, and you hated how good he was at it.

“You’re such a manipulator,” you grumbled, though your lips twitched with a reluctant smile.

“Not manipulator—genius,” he corrected, pulling you toward the school gates before you could change your mind.

“Wait, you don’t even have a plan yet!” you protested, digging your heels in.

“Details, details,” Yuji said, brushing it off. “We’ll figure it out as we go!”

The plan was simple: sneak past Gojo’s barely-there supervision, hop the school wall, and spend a rare afternoon of freedom exploring the city. But nothing with Yuji Itadori was ever simple.

Thirty minutes later, you were crouched behind a bush, watching Yuji attempt to sneak past Gojo’s vaguely occupied form. He had, of course, decided that flailing like a bird was an acceptable stealth tactic, and you couldn’t stop yourself from laughing as he tripped over a random rock, landing face-first in the grass.

You clamped a hand over your mouth to stifle the laugh bubbling up, your shoulders shaking with the effort. Yuji popped his head up, blades of grass stuck in his hair, and shot you an exaggerated glare.

“You’re not helping,” he hissed, his voice somewhere between a whisper and a whine.

“Sorry but what are you even doing, you look like those inflatable tube men placed in front of gas stations,” you whispered back, biting your lip to keep from cackling outright.

“First of all, it was a hawk,” he corrected, brushing himself off as he crouched again. “Second of all, you could show a little support for your partner in crime, y’know! Im signaling stealth!”

“That’s not stealth, Yuji. That’s a mating dance.” You deadpanned.

“I really don’t know how we haven’t got caught because of you yet,” you muttered, shaking your head as he resumed his ridiculous flailing.

Somehow—maybe because Gojo was too busy scrolling through mukbang videos on his phone to care—you both managed to make it past the gates. As soon as you were clear, Yuji grabbed your hand and took off running, pulling you along like an excited kid.

“See?” he said, grinning over his shoulder. “Flawless execution.”

“Bro thinks he’s yeat.” you replied, rolling your eyes.

“Would you prefer if I started screaming fein?,” he said, squeezing your hand.

“Enough.” You rolled your eyes again.

You rolled your eyes and darted across the courtyard, leaving him behind. His dramatic gasp of betrayal carried all the way to the gate.

Step two: jump the wall.

“Are you sure this is a good idea?” Yuji whispered nervously, glancing over his shoulder like Gojo might materialize out of thin air. “What if—”

“You’re a jujutsu sorcerer, Yuji,” you teased. “And also, this was your idea. What did you make this decision unconsciously? Or are you just scared of a wall?”

“I’m scared of Gojo.”

Fair.

Still, you hopped onto the wall with practiced ease, sitting on the edge to look down at him. Yuji hesitated for a moment before launching himself up with impressive force—and smacking his forehead against the top of the wall.

You burst into laughter so loud it almost echoed across campus.

“Ow! Don’t laugh!” He held his head dramatically, pretending to stagger. “I think I’m seeing the afterlife!”

“Get up here, you idiot.” You reached down to grab his hand and pulled him up. For a moment, you both perched precariously on the wall, faces inches apart. Yuji smiled at you—soft, goofy, and heart-melting. But also half concussed.

Then he promptly lost his balance and fell, unsurprisingly.

You gasped as Yuji disappeared from sight, a loud thud and an even louder groan echoing from the other side of the wall.

“Yuji!” You peeked over, half-panicked but mostly exasperated, only to find him sprawled on the ground, arms and legs splayed like a starfish.

He cracked one eye open, grinning weakly. “I’m okay!”

“You fell,” you said, staring at him incredulously.

“Did it look cool?”

“No, it didn’t.”

He sat up, rubbing the back of his head with a sheepish laugh. “Well, that’s disappointing. I thought for sure the landing would redeem me.”

“Redeem you?” you said, hopping down much more gracefully. “Brother, you hit your head twice today. Do you even have a brain left?”

“Bold of you to assume there was much to begin with,” he quipped, flashing you that dumb, lopsided grin that somehow managed to melt your frustration every time.

You offered your hand, hauling him to his feet. “If you die from being clumsy, I’m never letting you live it down.”

He dusted himself off, still smiling. “Good thing I have you to keep me alive, huh?”

You sighed, shaking your head but smiling despite yourself. “You’re lucky you’re cute.”

“Aw, you think I’m cute?” His grin widened, and he puffed out his chest dramatically. “Admit it, you can’t resist me.”

“I take it back. I can resist just fine,” you shot back, starting to walk down the path. “But if you trip again, I’m leaving you behind.”

“Harsh,” he muttered, jogging to catch up with you.

As the two of you made your way down the hill, Yuji slipped his hand into yours again, lacing your fingers together. You glanced at him, eyebrows raised, and he shrugged with a cheeky grin.

“For balance,” he said.

“Yeah okay Yuji, just say you’re scared,” you replied, but you didn’t let go.

After Yuji’s not-so-graceful landing, you spent the next few hours wandering the city. You hit a record shop, shared a crepe at a food stand, and found yourselves laughing until your sides hurt in a Photo Booth.

“Why do my eyes look like that?” Yuji asked, squinting at one of the printed photos.

“What do you mean? They always look like that.”

“I look like I’m about to swallow you with my eyes?”

“Okay that’s an exaggeration. You look like a goldfish at most.”

“Like a very cute goldfish,” you teased, poking his cheek.

He puffed it out dramatically. “Well, you look like—”

“I know you don’t have much brain left, but think twice before you say something that might end up in you loosing your head,” you warned, narrowing your eyes.

“An angel,” he finished, grinning sheepishly.

Eventually, you found a quiet park, the golden glow of the setting sun painting the sky. The laughter had faded into something softer, more intimate, as you sat side by side on the swings.

Yuji was quiet for a moment before glancing at you. “Hey…”

“Hm?”

“I’m glad we did this.” His voice was sincere, and his eyes sparkled in the warm light. “I know it’s risky, but… I just wanted some time with you. Like, normal, everyday time. No curses, no missions. Just us.”

Your chest tightened at the sweetness in his words. “Me too, Yuji. Maybe we should break the rules more often.”

“Yeah?” He answered, his eyes were filled with something more desired than love.

He smiled, his hand brushing against yours on the swing chain. The touch sent a pleasant shiver up your spine, and when you turned to look at him, you could see the hint of nervousness in his expression.

“Can I—uh…” He scratched the back of his neck, the tips of his ears pink.

You leaned over and kissed him, cutting off his adorable stammering.

The first press of your lips was gentle, tentative. But when Yuji’s hands found your waist, pulling you closer, the kiss deepened. He kissed you like he had been waiting forever, like every moment he had spent apart from you led up to this. His lips were soft but insistent, moving with an intoxicating rhythm that left you breathless.

Your fingers tangled in his pink hair, and he made a small sound against your mouth—a mix of surprise and eagerness that made your heart race.

“Is this okay?” he murmured, his forehead resting against yours for a brief pause.

“More than okay,” you whispered, pulling him back in.

The world seemed to fade away as his kisses became more fervent, his grip on your waist tightening like he never wanted to let go. Your back pressed against the cool metal of the swing, his body shielding you from the cooling breeze as his lips trailed along your jawline, then back to your mouth.

“Yuji,” you murmured between kisses, your voice barely audible.

“Yeah?” he asked breathlessly, pulling back just enough to meet your gaze. His cheeks were flushed, his smile lopsided and utterly disarming.

“You’re terrible at sneaking out,” you teased, brushing your thumb over his cheek.

He laughed, resting his forehead against yours again. “And yet, totally worth it.”

You couldn’t help but agree.

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goldtheorys · 1 month ago

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Jeff the killer general + relationship headcanons

_I did Jeff headcanons before but they were ass, so here’s my second attempt.

══════════════════ -`♡´-

General 🩶

Veeeeery reclusive

He’s thin and agile, even if he’s literally just standing in a room staring at the wall, lost in thought, he’ll hide or slip out of the room when he hears someone coming in easily

He doesn’t even really mean to, but it’s just some instinct that kicks in he doesn’t bother to fight

Doesn’t like people all that much anyways, so he’ll do what he can to avoid everyone

Loneliness isn’t the loveliest feeling though

Occasionally he’ll go find one of the other creeps, awkwardly ask them a simple question

I see a lot of stuff where he’s really loud and obnoxious, also a total jerk, and although I agree, his whole life went to shit pretty early on

So he lacks social skills, he barely knows how to take care of himself, and doesn’t have good emotional control

Of course he has outbursts, he doesn’t know how to make friends, he thinks because he’s so damn amazing everyone who “acts” like they hate him just wants to be him

But it begins to get to him after awhile, never having someone

He is sort of friends with Ben, but it flip flops from fun and easygoing to strained and frustrating

Survives on randomly selected energy drinks, beer and junk food alone

Cannot cook, cannot remember what a warm meal tastes like

Has a lot of energy, so when he can’t find anyone to bother, he goes on walks

Mostly during night to help hide his face, but because of that it’s pretty enjoyable

Wears a mask too so he can grab some food before finding whatever abandoned park he can, sitting on the swing set while he eats

Prefers the colder months

I’m not sure I wanna add he has smile dog as a pet on my version of him… but he is a big dog person. Runs into a stray every now and again and spends maybe a solid hour just petting and talking to it

He kills when he feels overwhelmed, but regrets it from all the guilt after

Sleeps a lot to try and forget about everything

Relationship

══════════════════ 🤍

You two probably met in a rather absurd way

Maybe it was the classic you both just murdered someone and found eachother, dripping with a stranger’s blood

Or he walked into your home at random, surprised and intrigued by your lack of fear

(you were just too tired to give a fuck)

He’s real rude at first, calling you names, making fun of basically the way you breathe or walk, trying to poke and prod for a weak point

If you tough it out and keep being kind or neutral towards him, eventually he’ll stop and slide into a weird mood of observing you

It’s like his eyes never leave you for a second, and it gets real creepy

He studies your movements, your face, your words, your mannerisms

You’re still here despite his lack of…maturity at the beginning

Even if it’s a little begrudgingly, you’ve let him stay

It’s weird and he can’t help but question if it’s some scheme to hurt or kill him

But he’ll be damned if he misses the chance to have the first genuine human connection he’s had in years

Kind of follows you like a cat when he can

Like to watch you from his own spot in the room, occasionally piping up to say whatever comes to his mind

And, it would take a bit longer, but eventually he warms up to being more affectionate, rather than the previous friendly coexisting

Doesn’t show it, might even scowl at you for being quote unquote cringe, but adores when you compliment him. About his beauty, his talents, his intelligence, he wants it all

But what he really adores is your touch

Late nights in, watching some show while he lies on top of you

Your nails running up and down his back, occasionally tangling into his hair to twist and brush it makes his heart beat faster than any night when he’s drenched in sweat and blood

He’ll still refuse to show that kind of weakness in front of anyone else, but when it’s just him and you, he’s pathetic for your attention and affection

Likes to hold you from behind, tracing every curve, every scar, every inch of your skin he can reach

Dangerously possessive

You’re the first good thing that’s happened to him in a long while, he cannot stand even the thought of you being ripped away from him

And as I said before, he doesn’t have the greatest control of his feelings

Instead of voicing his fears or concerns, he lashes out at you, especially if he knows you’ve been spending time with someone else

Tries to force you to stay by his side, threatens to harm you if you dare to leave

But once he calms down, he leaves, and your left scratching your head wondering why he had done all of that

He’ll come back when you’re asleep, watching you as he traces shapes onto your arm

He’s so fucking scared you’re gonna realize how truly shitty of a person he is

Wakes you up, wrapping you into a hug as soon as your blearily blink your eyes open

He won’t apologize, he’s still a bit of a narcissist, but you can feel it in the way he clings to you in the darkness of the room

You’ll cuddle him to sleep, and wake up in the morning to him acting like nothing has happened

══════════════════ -`♡´-

_ughhh still don’t rlly like this it is SO messy, but also idc lol. Hope my version of him is enjoyable… might work on nsfw headcanons next, but I’m kind of just going with whatever right now. requests open, and sorry for my previous inactivity (⇀‸↼‶)

#creepypasta x reader #x reader #sorrowrites #creepypasta headcanon #creepypasta headcanons #jeff the killer #jeff the killer x reader #jeff the killer headcanons #i forgot how to tag

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morlock-holmes · 2 years ago

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Notice in the post below that the only named task that the OP struggled with is homework?

Now, people diagnosed with ADHD or similar disorders often do struggle with tasks that we might actually want to do, but almost always, the diagnosis is linked in everyone's mind to an inability to do homework.

But homework is fucking bullshit.

I really think it's absurd to ignore that fact when talking about how you complete tasks.

"Gosh, my kid seems to have a lot of trouble focusing on dull make-work which I force him to do for two hours every single day, why could this be?"

I spent literally as little time in school as I could and still graduate. As in, by my junior or senior year the principal sat me down and said, "If you skip anymore school we aren't going to be able to graduate you from High School."

And yet... When I bothered to go, I got good grades. I did generally quite well on tests and did eventually graduate. I'm quite proud of that as an act of self-mastery but it does raise the question:

Why was so much energy spent on trying to get me to go to school for all that time when I was demonstrably able to get the benefits with literal years less work than they wanted me to put in?

Why was so much time spent trying to devote those years to schoolwork when it simply wasn't necessary for me to learn?

Homework is a microcosm of that whole question. I always wanted to know,

"So, if I can skip 60% of the homework and still get an "A" on the test, why do you try to force me to do it?"

And to this day I have never gotten a good answer.

So: I saw no value in most of my homework and that hasn't changed to this day.

So, here's a pop quiz for the people wondering why their kids with diagnoses don't do their homework no matter what planning and techniques adults supply them with:

What would your kid have to do to spend less of their valuable time on homework?

"Well, if they just knuckled down and got it done..."

BZZT! WRONG! You get a "D-" on this test and I really hope you apply yourself more to the next one, you have so much potential...

If they "forget about it" then they have to do even less.

Now, of course that means that your kid is in a state of constant stress from avoidance. They are thinking, "Man, I'm going to get in so much trouble for not doing this, but I just can't seem to force myself to do it, and anyway I don't fucking want to."

You think that they'd be better off spending two stressful hours on their homework and then being able to relax the rest of the time. They feel like they'll be happier not doing it at all and feeling a vague undercurrent of stress as they go about their leisure time.

What's the third option if they want to spend less time on homework?

Oh, nothing? Is it nothing whatsoever until they graduate from school?

This is infuriatingly counter-productive. We spend literal years teaching ADHD kids that avoidance and procrastination are the only ways to exert control over their lives in the face of unpleasant situations imposed from outside.

Now, in point of fact this is absolutely not the case for adult life, which offers a plethora of ways to reduce pointless make-work imposed on you by outside authorities and, in any case, rarely bothers to impose two hours per day of unpaid, unrewarding make-work on people anyway.

How much of the difficulty ADHD people have with cleaning the toilet or whatever is because psychologically, they still think of it as homework? Cleaning the toilet is not homework; it rewards you with a clean toilet at the end and it's entirely possible to defer it, or hire someone else to do it, or find shortcuts. But if the major psychological task of your childhood is homework, maybe it might take quite a long time to think that there could even be anything aside from homework?

#psychology #homework #Parents get so uneasy when I say that kids are right to avoid homework #But a lot of the time they are!#ADHD #executive dysfunction

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ughthatimagineblog · 1 year ago

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yawn and reach

this was such a fun request it literally occupied my brain for the last 72 hours. tytyty anon!!!! summary: 'video game joel in jackson would be so awkward w reader. imagine they go see a movie for the first time in years and he does that thing w reader where he itches his nose to smoothly put it over reader’s shoulder' - requested by anon rating: 18+ warnings: lightly implied smut but no real smut at the end, cursing, age difference (reader is about 30-32 and joel is 54-56), tried to be as neutral as possible but i did write this with a feminine reader in mind. word count: 6.07k

Being in Jackson meant having clean water, a warm bed, guaranteed food, but best of all; electricity. The dam in town, monitored and worke on by the gracious townsfolk who took you in, keeps the water your bathe in warm and lights on all around the city at night. You’d forgotten the luxury of seeing so much in the dark.

Having been a young age when the outbreak began, the memories of what life before infected were blurred. Muddy water. Clear only in brief moments of light, smells, feelings and fleeting just as fast. Your mother, who also survived- or rather helped you survive- helped fill in the gaps on occasion and you were grateful for the life you clung to, even if it meant wandering in the dark for months at a time, unsure of where your next meal would come from. From youth to now, you and your mom watched out for each other. Now, you were part of a community that would take care of both of you. You both return the favor.

Being in a QZ meant enforced curfews and the military breathing down your back. Not allowed out, barely anyone allowed in. Escaping was easy enough. Surviving your way all the way to Jackson was not. Now, you and your mother roam freely at night and almost any other time if you aren’t on patrol. Music from bars pour out into the string lit streets. During the day, children play and learn. Hundreds of people found refuge here, and you now joined their numbers. You’d even met a few people you’ve become close enough with to say you’re friends.

Sometimes you get put on patrol with Dina, Jesse or Ellie, and while they’re both several years your junior, they entertain you, they respect your authority, and they also remind you of being that age, so you don’t mind. You spend some free time at the bar or help out in some of the kitchens from time to time and have grown close with a few others, all in varying ages. Joel, who you met through Ellie, being one of them.

Joel. Always brief with his words. Always to the point. Ellie would complain about him on patrol from time to time, but she would balance it out with credit to the man in the same breath.

“He’s always trying so hard. I just don’t know how to make it work now…” She trailed off on a ride home from the nearby abandoned town. It was your last stop and it was beginning to get dark. You’d given her a small nod of understanding in response. She huffed out a sigh. “I know he cares and stuff, but sometimes I need my space. I mean-” She paused to look at you, reasoning with her own conflictions. “I just would like one night out of the house. Or the garage, I guess. He’s done a lot for me… and I want him to know that I see that.”

You thought for a moment. “Maybe spend some intentional time with him. That way, when you want that night away, it will be earned and he won’t put so much pressure on it.” You suggested. She made a face off indecision but nodded anyway. “I think you’re right.” Was all she’d said on the matter the rest of the ride back.

Secretly, you admired the man. He was maybe ten years older, but you got along like you’d known each other for ages. You liked the energy the kids like Ellie brought to your days, but if they were your spark, Joel was your peace. You didn’t feel pressured to have to entertain, or keep him on the right path, or make sure he was being observant. Joel was a seasoned veteran when it came to survival and you felt an ease with him you couldn’t with anyone else. Because no one else could protect you like Joel could. No one other than the mother who helped a child survive the outbreak. And even that was highly lucky.

You were put on patrol just twice with Joel. Both times were eventful in wildly different ways. The first was in a positive way, you both found a new stash of medical supplies- an urgent care facility that’d gone unnoticed due to the decay of the lettering outside of the building signaling any kind of benefit to looting. Half of it was also caved in so you and Joel both worked to sort through the rubble that’d gone ignored for so many years. You’d both decided to check it out on a whim, and were very grateful you did.

The second time went a little differently. It was summer and the sun was beating down on the both of you like you’d never experienced before. Dehydrated and exhausted, Joel suggested stopping by the creek bed where you were to cool off in the water. Not a moment after relief began to set in, you were caught off guard when a small group of infected decided to jump both of you. In the calamity of racing back to your things, you’d slipped on a rock and fell so hard on your head you got a concussion. It rendered you unconscious and the only reason you were still breathing the next day is because of Joel.

You remembered the cold feeling of air rushing over your head wound, blood slowing, but still pouring out. Eyesight fading in and out, and when it was in, it was blurry. Unclear images of Joel fighting off the infected while keeping your body strictly behind him flash in and out of your memory. He’d patched up your head as best as possible and hoisted you onto his horse with him, tying your horse’s reins to his saddle horn to ride with the both of you back to safety.

He’d been muttering to himself the whole ride, all the way until you were passed off to the medical staff. Very faint sounds, from what you could remember, but you also knew to attribute that to the concussion. It was a fade out from being handed off, to waking up being carried further from Joel, the last image being of him staring after you as he grew smaller and smaller.

From that day forward, you two have been close. I guess saving someone’s life really does bring two people together. Your mother was fond of him as well. And not just because he saved your life- although you did figure that played a large part- but because of his manners, his honor. She’d mentioned how polite he was to you one day and, it wasn’t that you hadn’t noticed, but you hadn’t seen how deliberate it was. Holding doors open for you, fully listening when you spoke, considering your likes and dislikes. If he was behaving this way specifically for you, you couldn’t tell, but you did take note.

When you’d complimented him on such things, he- in his own Joel way- laughed in your face. Really, it was more of a scoff, but nonetheless it was just as dismissive. “‘M not polite, darlin’, I just treat people how I wanna be treated.” He answered plainly, but there was a hint of knowing in his eyes.

You began to keep an eye on these things he does that he brushes off and you found that, while yes, he does open doors for others and he is an excellent listener, he doesn’t listen to anyone else the way he listens to you. Undivided attention. When you speak, you’re all he sees. He’s holding onto every word of yours like if he doesn’t he’ll fall down. Even when you’re talking about nothing. When he holds doors for others, he looks relaxed and at ease, but guarded. With you, his shoulders soften and he’s often watching your every move as you walk by. He’s more awkward with you. Part of it is his own ambiguity in navigating getting close with others, but part of it is something else, and to assume it’s you would be highly narcissistic. Or so you tell yourself.

Meanwhile, Joel can barely contain himself. His time in Jackson had been peaceful, and had allowed him to grow comfortable. With Ellie safe and enjoying life, he’d forgotten what it meant to have room to care about anyone else. She’d been his priority for so long. Now that he met you… Just thinking about you made his stomach turn with butterflies. He felt juvenile.

It took him a week to discover your existence. Three months to patrol with you for the first time, and another three for the second time. Every patrol in between was filled with thoughts of you. Hope that you’d be paired with him again. After the second time with you, he was enamored. Your intelligence captivated him. You’d researched so much. Both about this new life and the life before the infected. You had stories on stories to tell of you and your mom, some of which were his favorite to hear. Joel knew better to pry whenever you’d get to a particularly hard memory in your stories. He’d often ask a question about a different part to get your mind off of whatever had you troubled, and even though you knew what he was doing every time, you let him. It was nice. Sweet. Two words most would not use to describe Joel. You would. And you’d said so.

That almost knocked Joel on his feet. When you told him you thought he was polite, and sweet. It made his heart nearly leap out of his chest. Feeling slightly guilty for laughing in pure shock at a fairly innocent compliment-turned-question, he’d given a finite and brief answer. You hadn’t complimented him since. Worried about rejection, you’d avoided doing so.

Finding himself thinking about why you hadn’t done so tipped Joel off to his growing, deeper, feelings for you. It bothered him, and under any other circumstance- anyone else- he wouldn’t care. Wouldn’t have crossed his mind. Much like many other interactions with others in the town. They weren’t on his mind like you were. But he also worried he was too old for you. He thought about what you’d think of Ellie who was essentially his own kid. His past was a heavy burden to carry, as well. He’d killed so many, watched so many die, and the thoughts of those deaths weighed on him heavily.

The last thing he wanted was for you to shoulder any of it. Joel knew that the first time he saw you laugh. He wouldn’t do a thing to compromise your happiness if he could help it.

Weeks later, you both were busy on your respective duties that would be ending sooner rather than later. It was the first Friday of the month, and the first Friday meant movie night. The electricity in Jackson was powerful and a few months prior, Dina and Jesse returned with a projector, VHS tape player and some VHS copies of several different movies. The town would not stop talking about it for a month afterwards. Aside from new medicine, food or healthy helping hands, this was the best news they’d received all year.

Movie nights became a regular, monthly tradition. Those not on shifts for the night would gather and watch different movies. There would be a vote beforehand on what would be played and the announcement would go out a week in advance so people could plan to be there. If you couldn’t make it due to a shift, you were sure to be scheduled in time to make it the next month and so on. It was a huge morale boost for everyone. Dina and Jesse have not stopped bragging about it being their find because of it.

Hanging up your apron, you made your way to the washrooms where you cleaned up after working every shift here. Your neighbor, a girl of similar age who got put on the same duty as you today, met you by the sink. “Are you coming tonight?” They inquired. You smiled and nodded. “Movie day. Never missing that.” You assured, scrubbing the smell of garlic off your fingers. No amount of soap would be enough.

“I bet Joel will be happy to hear that.” They wiggled your eyebrows at you. You rolled your eyes. “I’m sure he will. He’s my friend.” You assured. “Uh-huh.” They responded in an unconvincing tone. “Hey, all I know is, he’s bringing Ellie, but we all know where she wants to be. Maybe you can get some one-on-one time with him?” They suggested. You paused at this before reaching for one of the towels to dry your now-clean hands.

It was a good point. You recalled your conversation with Ellie from a few days prior. How she really was looking for an excuse to be out of Joel’s earshot for one night. You weighed your options. It wasn’t like you to blatantly ask someone to hang out, especially not Joel, and especially not under the current circumstances. It also wasn’t likely to get him to let Ellie go anywhere he wasn’t familiar. Maybe you could get Joel away from Ellie?

It was clear you liked Joel. You loved him, really. It was quite easy once you got to know him. If you asked him to see the movie with you, and you specifically, you weren’t sure how he’d react. You were confident he’d say yes, but to what degree?

Realizing you were overthinking something that was probably just all in your head anyways, you snapped back to reality to find your neighbor staring at your zoned-out expression, smirking. “You’re thinking about it, aren’t you?” They asked, mouth agape in joyful surprise. You felt heat in your face and quickly dismissed them, pushing past the doorway.

“I’m thinking about going to see the movie later and nothing else!” You shouted over your shoulder, leaving your colleague and emerging to the main cafeteria. Turning on your heel, you were about to reach for your keys and bag that had been strewn on one of the tables when your face instantly collided with leather.

Stumbling back, and almost on your ass, you began to curse, “What the fu-” You began to say, but the feeling of two strong arms steadying you and the familiar face in front of you cut all sound in your throat short. Joel stood before you, the smell of pine filling your nose as he stood there looking as patient and understanding as ever in light of your fumble. “Didn’t mean to startle you.” He sheepishly apologized as you quickly regained your bearings. His accent was deep, thick. It made your heart flutter. The adrenaline of being caught off guard had not yet worn off. “No, oh my gosh,” You breathily laughed out. “You’re fine. I was just about to leave is all.” You smiled up at him, brushing some hair that had fallen into your eyes out of your face.

“Going to the movie tonight, I hear?” He asked, eyes darting to the hallway you just came from. If your neighbor was still here, they did not make it apparent. You silently thanked whatever was out there that they left. You didn’t need them making fun of your attraction to him to his face but behind your back. Your eyes darted from Joel nervously, remembering the conversation between your neighbor. Surely if they noticed your attraction, he would too.

“Uh, yeah, weirdly enough, I was on my way to you with a similar question, but you’re back from patrol early.” You grabbed your things off the table you went for earlier and turned back to see Joel’s look of amusement and curiosity. His eyebrows raised, a slight smirk on his lips that silently mouthed ‘Oh?’. Those lips. You forced yourself to look at his forehead.

Your heart was beating in your chest so hard you worried he could hear it in the pause. “Would you like to go with me?” You blurted out. It felt silly coming out. Like you were in high school, asking someone to the prom. But under different context. A non-romantic context. Because that’s what Joel would want, right? He doesn’t have the time or energy to deal with some romantic drama, you reasoned.

Joel’s face became unreadable. His mouth slightly opened as if he were going to say something, but closed again as he decided on something else. “Together?” He clarified. You ignored the way your heart sank. “If you don’t want to, that’s okay. I have some wine at my place, I thought maybe we could have a glass before we go. But if you have other plans…”

“I don’t.”

His response was quick. Joel saw the way your face fell at his initial response, and he quickly realized why. You thought he was uninterested in going with you personally. Something that couldn’t be further from the truth. Joel wanted nothing more than to go with you. Jesus, he had the opportunity to take a girl on a movie date. He couldn’t remember the last time that happened. 20 Years was probably something like it. More.

His reaction was purely shock. Not distaste. He was shocked you wanted to go together. That you wanted to go with him. Be seen in association with him on purpose and not in a group setting. It was more intimate than he’d been with anyone recently.

“I’d love to go with you.” He clarified, realizing he’d only been staring at you since his response to having other plans. “Ellie can have the house to herself for a bit.” You reasoned with a smile meant to hide your giddy emotions and while Joel gave a short reaction at the idea of his kid-now adult- being home alone, he let it go just as easily, too distracted with thoughts of his movie date with you.

Deciding both of you needed a shower before the movie, you split up and went to your respective houses to shower and get ready. It was merely an hour and a half before the knock came at your door.

Swinging it open to reveal Joel, groomed and standing off to the side of your doorway. In one of his hands was a bouquet. Your eyes shot open and you pretended not to notice he got groomed and brought flowers to go somewhere with you. “Where did you find these?” You excitedly reached through the doorway to take them from him, immediately pressing your nose to the petals. It was a well done bouquet of wildflowers. You’d seen them growing several times on some of the patrol routes and found them beautiful everytime. Joel just happened to notice.

“I pulled a few strings.” He laughed, watching your face as you examined them carefully. He could stare at you for hours. You didn’t have to know the exact townsperson Joel bribed to get him those flowers ASAP and you certainly didn’t have to know the extra rations it took for him to keep quiet about it. Joel making an emergency request for flowers? Unheard of. And it will stay that way too.

“I don’t know what to say.” You said, breathless from inhaling the scents in front of you. “Maybe a ‘Thank you’, ‘Please come in’, ‘I have wine’.” Joel teased. You rolled your eyes and cleared the path for him to enter.

He was quick to follow you to your kitchen where you grabbed two glasses and filled them just under halfway. You both silently toast to each other and take a sip. The wine is sweet, but has a slightly bitter taste that lingers. And then, there was that silence. It slipped over both of you like a comforting fog. Both of you comforted each other just by being near one another. You were in sync in these moments and it felt like having a dance partner. Someone to anticipate your moves and flow with them. Being around Joel was as easy as breathing. He didn’t complicate things. In the silence his eyes were like weights on you and with every sip of your wine you felt his gaze follow your lips.

“Why did you ask me to come with you?” Joel asked, cutting through your beloved easy silence like an arrow slicing the air. You froze, not quite sure yourself. That wasn’t true, though. You were sure why you wanted him to come, but terrified of what that would mean. You scrambled for any other logical reason. A favor for Ellie? Personal interest?

“And it’s not to get me away from Ellie for a little while. She knows how to do that on her own…” He commented and you felt the heaviness at the end of his sentence. Crap. He knew you. That wasn’t his point right now. “You can bullshit everyone else, but not me, darlin’.” His southern drawl was accentuated in that nickname and it was enough to cover the nervousness in his voice. The nickname that flooded your mind constantly. The nickname that made you melt.

Finding any alternative to telling Joel your true feelings, you lied. “I didn’t want to be alone. Going alone to the movies alone is kinda lame anyways and my mom wasn’t feeling up to it.”

Joel made an ‘ah’ expression and looked away in thought. He wasn’t buying it, but it was something you clearly didn’t want to be addressed, so he dropped it for you. That doesn’t mean the real reason wasn’t swimming around his mind. Occasionally, he saw the way you looked at him. He knew you respected him and thought fondly of him. Just how fondly, he was unsure. While he hoped there was more, he couldn’t help but worry what you’d think of him. What you’d think of what he’d done to get there. What he’d done, he thought, in a way, to get to you.

“We’d better get going soon if we want to make it across town in time for it to start.” Joel commented with a clearing of his throat, taking a final swig of the wine, now long gone in both your glasses. Nodding, you quickly finished your glass and rushed to put the flowers in a spot you wouldn't forget about, meeting Joel by the door when you were done.

Twisting the key in the lock of your front door, you went to step down but felt a hand gently touch your back. Turning to Joel you saw his arm stretched out, but bent slightly. You looked at him in confusion.

“Oh c’mon…” He said, gesturing to his arm. “You know what to do.” He urged. Your blank expression answered his assumption with a resounding negative. Feeling a little ridiculous, not because of your confusion but because his own effort in sending signals were going unnoticed. He came up to you, grabbed your hand and looped it through his already-positioned arm. You smiled and said “Oh!” out loud, finally realizing what he’d been trying to do.

“Well aren’t you a gentleman.” You commented as you walked arm in arm to the gathering area the town held movie nights at, trying to ignore the way you were touching him. It wasn’t like you hadn’t before, but you’d repressed the way it made you feel before. It was beginning to be hard to hide it. Joel smiled slightly and shook his head. “Im telling you, I-”

“I know, I know, you just treat people how they want to be treated.” You finished for him. He stopped mid sentence and laughed to himself. “So you do listen.” His voice was gravelly but soft. Music to your ears. “Only when it’s you talking.”

Your response came out flirtier than you intended, the feeling overcoming both of you instantly. Despite ducking your head, avoiding his gaze, Joel felt his heart soar. “I’m a lucky man then.” It was your heart’s turn to flutter. Joel, once again plans to save the moment of being inquired upon further, noting your embarrassment. “How’s that?” You reply, desperate for every word. “I was able to get the most stubborn and independent person to actually listen. I don’t think any man has done so in history before.” Joel joked, a dramatic air to his tone, soaking every word.

You laughed at his jab and shoved his arm in response. “Yeah if you’re lucky for anything it’s because I tolerate your ass giving me a hard time.” He chuckled in response. “Now that is true.” His voice got quiet as you both approached the viewing area together. Finding a small section of grass that wasn't occupied, you and Joel grabbed one of the many chairs set out for people to use and you both sat together.

They were playing Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back. A classic. Made before even Joel was born, but highly enjoyed in his childhood. He was looking forward to this movie when he heard it was the choice for the month. He was more excited about watching it with you, now. Your eyes fixated on the screen and as the movie began, everyone’s hushed voices and children's laughter all simmered to a pure silent crowd.

The movie played on like normal, maybe a glitch in the picture here and there but nothing too bad to break the feeling that comes with watching a movie. The ‘illusion’, some people call it. You’re laughing at a quip from Han to Leia when Joel subtly looks over to you. You’re too busy watching the movie to notice, but he can’t help but stare. Your eyes as they take in every moment possible, not wanting to miss out on a minute. Your lips are curved into a smile as you watch and Joel allows himself to wonder how they’d feel on him.

He notices a piece of your hair has fallen into your face and just before the thought of moving it converts to an action, you move to look up at him. Feeling panicked, he moves to scratch his nose and yawn. He stretches slowly and you look forward once more, unalarmed at first of his fidgeting. He was an older man after all. He was probably already getting stiff sitting still.

Joel’s stretch turns into an awkward hand on the back of your chair. This gets your attention. You can see his knuckles peeking over your shoulder and you wonder if the proximity was intentional. Inside, Joel is burning and tense. How could he be so stupid? The yawn and reach? Really? Did someone give him an ‘Oldest Tricks in the Book’ book?

Through his peripheral vision, he looks down to you, searching for any reason to give you any wanted space. He finds none. You’re content and still watching the movie. For the most part. In reality, your mind is reeling just as much as his.

Deciding to be a little more brave, Joel goes to rest his hand against your shoulder. Touching. He was touching you in a comforting way. Between this and walking arm in arm, just the slight contact makes him light headed. It’s been so long since he’s ‘made moves’ on anyone. He’s wracked with nerves and mostly stressed he’s lost his touch. That to you, he’s some cringe-y, single dad.

You feel his thumb starts to move against your shoulder in soft, slow, circles. Despite the motion’s intention to relax, you notice how tense he is. Looking down, his other hand is a fist, fidgeting with the hem of his flannel and you can see he’s watching the movie but every so often his eyes are darting around and down to you. It dawns on you just then that he is trying to make a move.

A mischievous smile spreads on your lips. If Joel was going to be subtle and innocent about his advancements towards you, you were ready to make this as easy on him as possible. After all, the man has been through hell and does deserve a win. Your mind ran a million miles an hour just picturing what might come next. Your attraction to him was at least somewhat reciprocated. It made thinking straight hard, but you knew you had to find some way to show him that he is more than welcome to be more comfortable with you.

You grin to yourself, knowing your plan is in place and you’re too excited to think of previous insecurities of his attraction to you. His sweaty palms and arm on your shoulder proved enough. Sighing lightly, you also feign fatigue, and carefully rest your head on Joel's shoulder.

You feel his upper torso tense and then relax as he processes what you’ve done. Feeling yourself move a bit to get more comfortable, he takes the opportunity to relax his own muscles, recognizing just how stiff they were beginning to get, and he moves his arm to fully drape over you and pull you in. His muscles loosening underneath you is your sign to move an arm over to rest on his leg.

His muscles were taught underneath his jeans. You felt the sweat on his palms, but it didn’t bother you. It actually made you smile. Joel Miller. A tough Texan who rarely let others in was a nervous wreck trying to get close to you. You stifled a giggle and adjusted yourself to be slightly more pressed into his body, almost crossing your leg with his.

Joel could hardly breathe. You were playing into it. It crossed his mind that maybe you’re being nice and don’t want to reject him. But he also noticed your hand on his thigh and how you sometimes would trace shapes or squeeze it lovingly there. It made him feel like a teenager, and he was basking in every second he got to feel his hand on your waist.

The only reason you both noticed the movie ended was when others began to stand up, grab their seats and the floodlights that lit the area came on. It made both of you jump a bit but no one rushed to untangle themselves from the other. He looked over to you, who began to slowly get up from where you were, cool air running over what had once been covered in warmth on his side. He tried to ignore the emptiness he felt without you being next to him so close, having grown accustomed to it for a couple hours.

“So…” You trailed off, not really sure what to say. Your anxiety was through the roof. Both of you weren’t sure if you should address what just happened, or go back to business as usual. Joel spoke before you could. “Let me walk you home.” He quickly insisted, standing and holding a hand to you. You smiled and took it, feeling a bit nervous. You knew if you didn’t address it immediately, it would definitely happen later. You hoped when he got to your door.

The walk home was quiet for the most part. A few comments on the movie, Joel told you a part he’s loved since he was young. You noted how nice it is to be able to do this despite the world’s circumstances. He agreed.

You’d just turned onto your street when Joel spoke again. “Can we talk?” He stopped mid step. It was a rare moment of bravery from him you wrote off as uncharacteristic. Startled by the abruptness, you stopped as well, disconnecting from his hand but not wanting to.

He watched as your arm fell back to your side. With a strong huff of air, he covered his mouth in stress. “I don’t know how to say this.” He said, honestly. You dreaded the worst. He’s going to tell you he doesn’t want this- or anything more. This wasn’t going to happen. He wasn’t going to go home with you.

“Start with the first word.” You suggested, hoping you’d spark anything to get him to spit out what he was trying to say faster. Like a bandaid, you wanted the end of this to be quick and easy.

“You.” Joel said, clearly having more but working through how to put it. You gave him pause to gather his thoughts. “Y’know, you’re always on my mind but we don’t talk and then today you ask me to see the movies, but it’s just because you don’t want to go alone…” He begins to ramble. “Which I know is bullshit because you don’t mind going places by yourself.” Your breath hitches in your throat. He’s seen you this whole time. Why has he not said anything? Done anything?

“And then you spend half the damn movie basically in my lap and darlin’”- That nickname. “I am trying to be as respectful as possible but you just look so beautiful all the damn time and after tonight I don’t know if you feel the same, but I-I need to know. So I know what I can and can’t say to you. Say the word and I promise I’ll never touch you in that way.”

Dumbfounded, you just looked at him, mouth slightly open. It was the most Joel had ever said at one time to you, ever. He never vented. He spoke but in small bits and it was straightforward. He knew what to say. He always knew what to say. But around you he didn’t.

That one small fact had you lightheaded. And then his words dawned on you. Say the word and I promise I’ll never touch you in that way.

“No!” You blurted out. “I mean, I want you to touch me.” You cringed at how awkward it came out. “I mean…” A laugh from yourself blurted out at how hard this really was to put into words. “What do you want to say to me?” Settling on that, you looked into his eyes and found them pouring into yours. He’d smiled and chuckled in relief at your nervousness, giving him enough of an answer. Stepping forward, he traced the side of your face with a calloused finger, stopping after moving hair behind your ear. It gave you chills.

“I want to say,” He paused, looping a hand around your waist. “That I’ve been waiting to get you in my arms since we first met.” His words were enough to make the coldest person alive melt. “And you’re the only one who has got me wrapped around their finger like you.” His low voice rumbled in your chest as he closed some of the distance between you. He paused. Searching your eyes for any kind of resistance, hesitation… regret. He found none.

“I was going to say the same thing.” You grinned, closing any space between the both of you. His lips were rough on yours, his beard prickling the edges of your cheeks. Your fingers found their way into his hair and you sank into his grasp.

Joel felt like this was who he was supposed to be kissing. Who’s skin he was meant to be touching. His heart was thundering in his chest. He’d been falling for you for so long, he forgot the possibility that you’d possibly feel the same and settled on the idea you were better off without him. He knew now, under your grip which was soft but commanding all at once, you were just as deep in pining after him in return.

In reality, you kissed like that under the low street lighting for three minutes. It felt like an hour. Pulling away felt like diving underwater, far away from oxygen. Barely a foot apart and yet it felt so far.

“Do you want to come inside when we get back?” You asked, breathless. He chuckled, lips curving into a smile to match your own. “I want nothing more, sweetheart.” Joel’s gravelly tone lulled. It was rich with care and lust. Damn that voice. The voice that would drift you to sleep that night, whispering sweet praises under sheets you’d only slept in alone prior. It felt nice to have his breath on your neck, his bare legs tangled with yours, his soft skin on yours until morning. Ellie got the privacy she needed, and Joel got the night he deserved.

You’d worry about what to tell your mother some other time.

thank you guys for reading! hope you enjoyed. this has been my first official fully finished fic since returning to tumblr! i appreciate everyone's support :))

#joel miller x reader #joel miller #tlou #joel miller game x reader #tlou game #tlou2 #joel x reader #joel x female!reader #joel miller x female!reader #joel miller x you #joel miller fic #the last of us #the last of us hbo #pedro pascal x reader #pedro pascal joel miller #troy baker joel x reader #troy baker #troy baker tlou

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being-of-rain · 1 year ago

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So the last few years of TV Dr Who have done a lot of new things with the Doctor's ability to regenerate, and at no point is it very clear what does and doesn't count towards the limit of the Doctor's new regeneration cycle that they received in The Time of the Doctor. You could debate whether a few of the changes are exceptions to the limit, and whether the new regeneration cycle is still something that applies after the retcon that the Timeless Child apparently has more than twleve regenerations in the first place.

But, assuming the new cycle is still a limit, and that each change of body may count to the total, is the Doctor already more than halfway through it? Let's count.

1st incarnation: Old Man Matt Smith. Remember that he counts as the first incarnation out of thirteen, because there are twelve death-saving regenerations in a cycle (so an original body followed by twelve additional bodies). Almost immediately after gaining the new cycle, he starts using it up by dying of old age (because that body is more than a thousand years old by that point).

2nd incarnation: Peter Capaldi, who after a century or so gets electrocuted by a Cyberman and takes two full episodes to die from it.

3rd incarnation: Jodie Whittaker, who seemingly spends most of her decades-long life in prison. Halfway through The Power of the Doctor she's force-regenerated into...

4th incarnation: Sacha Dhawan. This incarnation is artificially created by the Master, not regenerating for any stated mortal wound, but Patrick Troughton regenerated for the same reason and he still counted to the total (...unless you wanted to say that Troughton's change didn't count, and he turned into Jo Martin, who later turned into Jon Pertwee, which is a theory I'm not opposed to). In any case, three quarters of the way through The Power of the Doctor, Dhawan turns into...

5th incarnation: Jodie Whittaker Again. That change might be the least likely to count towards the cycle total, because the Master's tech and the regeneration energy of the CyberMasters are used to "reverse" and cause a "degeneration". I like to count it though, because I think it's funny, because literally ten on-screen minutes later the Doctor is hit by the energy of the Qurunx redirected by the Master, and she turns into...

6th incarnation: David Tennant Again (Again). It literally only just occurred to me that turning back into David Tennant might have been an after-effect of the degeneration ten minutes earlier. The Doctor's body was still set on reverse. Anyway, around fifteen hours later (according to The Giggle's novelisation) the Doctor is shot with a galvanic beam by the Toymaker.

Then the 'bigeneration' happens. Now, it's established in the Tardis at the end of the episode that Gatwa's Doctor is somehow taken from the future of Tennant's retired Doctor (he's "older" than Tennant, after he "fixed himself"). So my question is: is there technically two regenerations between the Doctor at the start of The Giggle and the Doctor at the start of The Church on Ruby Road? See, the bigeneration stopped Tennant from dying by laser beam, resulting in...

7th incarnation: David Tennant Again Again Again, who retires to live with Donna's family and presumably has a series of low-stakes wacky domestic adventures. And possibly at some point in his future he suffers another fatal injury, resulting in...

8th incarnation: Ncuti Gatwa, who is pulled down his timeline to 2023 UNIT tower. This could've been straight away, or a bit later in this incarnation's life, and he could've been the result of another fatal injury or not, we can only speculate.

So at the very most, that's eight incarnations out of thirteen. That's over halfway through the new regeneration cycle. That's like the entirety of Classic Who and the TV Movie, this time over ten years of intermittent TV. To quote Susan when she's reunited with the Doctor in the audio An Earthly Child and asks about his regenerations, "Eight?! How did you manage that! That's just throwing them away!"

#doctor who #dw spoilers #doctor who meta #my posts #doctor

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iliveforyouilongforyouvesuvia · 2 years ago

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The Arcana HCs: How MC likes to fluster the M6

Julian

This guy finds literally everything about you attractive, you so much as make eye contact with him and you've already derailed his train of thought

He's also the king of improv, so however distracted he gets he can play it into something else

The question is how to do it so effectively that he can't play it off

The answer is to make subtle physical contact with him without acknowledging that anything special is going on

Reaching over for something and brushing his side but continuing on without missing a beat

Leaning in to make an aside comment, just enough so he can feel your breath on his cheek, only for you to go right back into conversation with whoever's present

Subtlety is not his forte so when he encounters it he doesn't know what to do with it

The confusion is making him so distracted he's not sure how to recover he just knows he's flustered and you're to blame somehow

Blushing, bumbling mess

Asra

Teasing people is their preferred method of communication, if it were a competition you wouldn't stand a chance

Luckily for you he's so used to being the best at teasing that he doesn't know how to respond when you match their energy

The key isn't to not get flustered, the key is to stay composed long enough to get him flustered first

As soon as he falters they are a sitting target

Them: "These flowers are beautiful, MC. Almost as much as you"

MC: "I don't know love, they've got nothing on you."

Stuttering

MC cont.: "Then again, you kind of redefined the concept of beauty by just existing, so that might be an impossible standard."

At this point their face is warm enough for Faust to try to use it as a heat lamp

Teasing is also his love language though, so he's uncharacteristically quiet but he's also trying to hide the biggest smile

Nadia

She gets flustered when something happens and she doesn't have a clear idea of how to respond

Mostly because she's used to being the person in charge, and moments like this make her follow someone else's lead

This could be when somebody behaves in a way she hasn't predicted, or when she's in a foreign situation

This can work positively though, because she enjoys encountering new experiences

You did not grow up as royalty. You have plenty of material to work with here

You help her put together a convincing disguise to enjoy Vesuvia for an evening

Take her to the Rowdy Raven and pull her up on a table with you to dance

You'll have to teach her how to dance the plebian way

She's unusually uncoordinated and flushed but she's enjoying the chance to do the equivalent of a social trust fall

More touchy than normal with you, she's having fun but if you disappear she's not sure what she'd do

Muriel

Poor guy has had so much trauma, literally all you have to do is show him healthy affection

That's it that's all it takes

Just a quick hug

Or grabbing his hand while you walk side by side

A kiss on the cheek when he hands you something too high up for you to reach

That's all it takes to freeze on the spot and turn bright red

Careful not to overdo it, he's still getting used to the concept of somebody actually loving him for who he is, if you get too relentless he'll spontaneously combust

Innana thinks it's hilarious

Portia

Portia may not be the definition of chill but she is almost always the most competent person in the room, and she does the work of four people with relentless optimism

She gets flustered when there *isn't* something to do

You'll have to catch her off guard by being a few steps ahead

She lives her life taking care of all the people around her, you need to take care of her

It's not too hard to do if you're paying attention to her habits

Her: "Hey, have you seen my hair tie -"

MC: "Right here, also your lunch is in your bag, Pepi's already been fed, and the dishes are almost done, so how about we spend the next half hour reading that travel guide together?"

Speechless for half a minute, head empty, no thoughts just static

She'll sit down and enjoy her moment of rest but it's so unexpected she keeps looking over at you with the prettiest blush

Lucio

Gets flustered literally any time things don't go the way he wants them to or someone calls him out

Someone reminds him of a mistake he made? Stuttering for the next two minutes trying to play it off

Obviously you don't want to make him miserable

The best way to take advantage of this is to point out a problem and then fix it before he can try to gloss it over

"Hey, you forgot your cape. Here, I'll put it on you before anyone notices."

Blushing because he made an oopsie and swooning because you handled it so well

#the arcana hc #the arcana headcanons #asra alnazar #julian devorak #nadia satrinava #portia devorak #muriel of the kokhuri #lucio morgasson #the arcana #arcana shitposting #the arcana game

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ofdirtandbones · 4 months ago

Note

I have no idea who to ask and seeing as you seem to be similar to me in some aspects, i thought u would be the best choice

Do you have any recommendations on how to stop being on the internet so much and connect more with nature? I love nature I love being in it but I'm constantly stuck either to my phone or computer, never fully appreciating it. I have no idea what to do

Long post ahead ! Sorry lol Man I've deleted all social media except tumblr. I use it on my computer mostly and I've put a thirty minutes time limit, only usuable between 6pm and 11pm on my phone. That way I can still see art, pretty pictures, funny posts... But I don't spend much time on my phone. It took me SO LONG to get to this point. I had to build up so much anger towards social media, the way they are made to steal all your time and ruin your attention span, and how much of a negative impact they had in my life. I use to spend just so much time on instagram,,, The first thing I did was put a lock on it. It was sooo hard at first but eventually I started barely using it when it was unlocked for the day. I managed to start reading again. And I mean reading multiple hours a day. Sometimes the whole day when I felt really bad and couldn't leave the house. Traded my screen time for when I was like,,, in the bathroom or waiting for something etc,,, for duolingo ! Since I still had the urge to pick up my phone and duolingo takes so much energy haha Doing something that isn't really enjoyable (and is actually useful) everytime I picked up my phone eventually made it much less interesting. You will not miss out on anything ! I know how scary it is but I promise, you won't be disconnected from the world. It's really the contrary tbh. You won't be disconnected from your friends either ! Ask them to contact you through whatsapp or whatever. That was my main fear and it turned out fine, so so so so fine. There are still ways to get news, without being constantly bombarded by them. Healthy ways that your body can actually handle. For the connecting to nature more part, it's very easy in my city but I don't know what it's like in yours,,, If you can access nature easily and can walk for a while then I say go explore ! Take pictures of bugs, plants, mushrooms,,, Can you take a friend with you ? If nature isn't accessible for you, good news ! It's everywhere. You'll find plant growing through cracks on the sidewalk, birds everywhere, bugs wherever it's possible for them to live,,, You'll start noticing them quickly ! Can you identify them ? If you don't have books that can help you or field guides, there are ones in public libraries. Once you id something, read about it ! And the pure joy once you've identified something, read about it, and you see it again ! The feeling is incredibly similar to friendship ! It became familiar, it became a friend, you feel warm inside everytime you two meet. See what naturalist non profit associations are near you ! Do they offer free acitvities ? Can you join them, volunteer,,, Yesterday I participated to an activity at night where we went to a spot with a lot of bats, learned about them, and then listened to them with a batbox ! All for free. I do activities like that a few times a week and learn a lot ! Another tip is touch grass, literally. Put your fingers in the dirt, smell it eat it, go lay down under a tree, no phone allowed. Hear the wind go through it. You aren't very different from it. You're both nature, both alive, aware of your surroundings, breathing, eating, and a whole ecosystem just by yourself. Your tree can also becoma a friend. Keep plants inside if possible ! Take care of them, learn about them. If only you knew how many plants I've killed before understanding how to take care of them,,, Now I have over thirty plants,,, hard ones to keep too ! It's also extremely easy to keep pill bugs as pets and takes up very very little space. So rewarding to see them eat and multiply ! Read books about nature ! I know this can be hard,,, I don't mean just informative books ! Anything will help you feel closer to it. I love poetry for example ! Very short, impactful emotionally ! I hope my rambles will be able to help you in some way ksgfqgq I just woke up.

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crystaltoa · 4 months ago

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I got diagnosed with fibromyalgia last week. It explains a lot about the way I’ve been feeling lately. I’m on a gradual return to work schedule of three half days per week, and I intend to give it my best shot..but…

So far it really just sucks.

I’m absolutely wiped out after three hours of teaching and it’s a good 24 hours afterwards before I even feel up to making a phone call or leaving the house to walk the dog. And forget doing the fucking dishes or cooking a decent meal. i can throw something premade into the microwave or oven and splash some dressing on some mixed lettuce and that’s it.

I can work three half days per week at the expense of literally everything else in my life, including hobbies and recreation and interacting with my friends. i don’t even wanna watch tv or listen to audiobooks.

When people try to comfort me, they tell me that things will improve. That this will become more manageable, even if i won’t exactly recover from it.

But I would actually find it more comforting if someone could tell me, with convincing evidence, that actually, I would be okay even if my health stayed the same as it is now. That there would be some relief, some way that I wouldn’t be forced to work a job that has gone from ‘ok but challenging’ to ‘debilitating and miserable’, some guarantee of a roof over my head and a reliable income without utterly destroying myself. But the more I look at Australia’s various disability support services, the less hope I have that I’d be considered eligible for anything.

There’s very much a black and white ‘can do this,’ ‘can’t do that’ approach to recognising disability. If I literally could not work, I could probably get a pension. But I can work, a bit. At a great cost. I can work but it makes my life seem barely worth living. ( I don’t particularly mean that in like a suicidal way, but just. It sucks, ya know? It sucks so bad.) There doesn’t seem to be much space for accommodating that, long-term.

Honestly, if I had income and housing sorted out, this would seem manageable, even if I never improved at all. I could get by on needing to rest more and take pain meds, and I would probably have enough time and energy to do the things I needed/wantedto do if I wasn’t spending it all on work. The prospect of having a permanent disability itself doesn’t scare me, it’s the fear of being trapped in an unforgiving system being bled dry with no relief in sight that horrifies me.

I’m lucky that I have family who would put me up if I made the choice not to work anymore. So I am grateful for that. But it does come at the cost of my independence and freedom, and comes with its own set of stresses, so it’s also not an ideal option.

I don’t really have a big point to make here. I just… yeah. That’s where I’m at right now. I haven’t felt like doing anything creative or fun since I went back to work. And I probably won’t again for a while. If I’m not responding to messages, or seem kind of flat and detached in my interactions with you… I’m sorry and I want you to know it’s not personal. i’m just a little fucked up right now is all.

I appreciate the community and friends I have here, so much. I want you all to know that, even if I’m less present here in the coming months. Love,

CT.

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giantkillerjack · 1 year ago

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the average person doesn't expect you to be a perfect ethical consumer, that's not possible for the vast majority of us. but what youre saying is it's better to do nothing at all and choose the worst possible options (sweat shops, overseas shipping waste, idea/product theft, all wrapped up in SHEIN) than to put even the tiniest effort in where you can.

[they are referring to this post]

What I said was "some people are doing literally everything they can to survive and have no extra bandwidth to spend extra time and money on their purchases, and it is cruel and therefore un-punk to gatekeep punkness and add additional shame to these people's lives based on that fact."

I think it's still a good thing to try to ethically consume; I literally never said it wasn't. I had never even heard of SHEIN before. Rather, I am much more concerned about what I saw as arbitrary gatekeeping based on ability and income.

And frankly how dare you claim that I am supporting sweatshops and abuse by saying that this additional work you are demanding (in this case, presumably, vetting every clothing company you buy from) is not always possible for people. It is not a light accusation to accuse me of supporting abuse.

"How dare you say we piss on the poor", Etc. 🙄 this isn't Twitter. You are determined to enforce moral purity, but you are failing to see the nuance.

Because when I say "no extra bandwidth," I mean no extra bandwidth. This is not the "car shows it's on E but actually secretly it has a lot of gas left" situation that abled people constantly assume disabled people mean when they say they are at their limit.

This is "the car has stopped moving, and to move it I'd have to break my body pushing it." This is "at a certain point, people will hit a wall in terms of money and time and energy, and any energy spent after that comes directly out of their life force."

So the argument "okay but just spend a little more time money and energy actually" is not a valid one.

And the argument "if you are not able to do this specific task, then it means you're not doing anything else to make the world a better place" doesn't exactly impress me either. You said yourself that it is impossible to be a perfectly ethical consumer for most people.

How do you know what else people are doing to resist oppression? How many hours per week until your standards are met?What if someone works 3 jobs? Does that mean it's harder to be a good person if you're poor?? Why do you get to decide what specific avenue of bettering the world is the most morally repugnant or acceptable? What kind of proof of goodness and effort would make you satisfied enough to lay off on the shame?? Who are you helping??

Clothing is a fundamental human need, and some of us have to buy cheap fucking clothes quickly. Billionaires are buying their seventh yacht this month. The people who own fast fashion companies are abusing their workers and putting local affordable clothing stores out of business - and this applies for basically every company with price points that low because governments are failing to regulate corporations to enforce basic human rights.

I have $300 to spend on a new wardrobe as my old clothes have fallen apart or become too small. Do you have a way for me to get a new winter coat, 3 flannels, 10 shirts, 3 dress shirts, new sandals, 10 pairs of pants, 5 bras, 12 pairs of socks, and 10 pairs of underwear within that budget and also definitely 100% ethically sourced, with free returns in case it doesn't fit? Or will I simply have to use the cheap stores?

I have about an hour to spend on this per week. Many mainstream stores doesn't make clothes in my size, and I am now in *year 5* of needing an electric wheelchair and being unable to get one; plus I live up a flight of stairs, so I can't even bring my walker out with me - so thrift shopping is not gonna cover this. Should I continue to wear small and tattered clothing until I have the time, money, and energy to meet your standards?

Did you know there are more empty homes in this country than homeless people? If I decide to splurge on only 100% ethically-produced products, and I can't make rent, and I become homeless, are YOU going to be there for me?? Or are you too busy litigating the endless tiny shames of poverty in your own community?

So I ask you again, are you SURE this is where you want to direct your punk energy?

Because there are a whole lot of rich people relying on people like us punching down and to the side instead of looking up to see where the money is going.

Because energy and time, as it turns out, are limited resources. And I would never expect you to secretly have more than you claim to have.

#original #punk #hopepunk #cripplepunk #i swear to god #reading comprehension website #how dare you say we piss on the poor #jfc 'what you're saying is we should do nothing' - what I'm saying is YOU are doing nothing by enforcing this boundary #you have to give people more credit than this. i believe you want a better world too. and it would be cool if you used your energy to #instead ask 'how do i fight for the people in my community to be clothed and have the time and income to shop ethically?'#or 'how do i support activism that pushes for regulation that could control these companies?'#monitoring how poor people spend money is a supremely Republican thing to do. as is demanding clear moral purity from every scenario.#you want a better world too. you want to demand your peers do better. - fine. good.#but you need to be asking if you have remembered and included everyone's needs when making statements like this.#capitalism is all for forgetting about poor and disabled people and refusing to believe their limits.#shame is a necessary weapon in fighting greed but it IS a weapon. be so careful where you point that shit. enough shame can kill a person #and a lot of us are already defending from it from all sides.#shaming a person who is already at their limit for not doing more is an act of cruelty. think very carefully about what that means please.#i literally don't even know what SHEIN is lol i just know classism when i see it #but I've had friends whose clothes were visibly falling apart with no income and so much so shame so deep in their hearts they were dying #and if they had seen that post it would have made them even sicker and gotten them no closer to the dignity of being properly clothed #shame is a weapon and /you need to be careful!!!!/

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goosewriting · 2 years ago

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Hi! First of all, i love your writing! I wanted to request Leo with scenario 24 and pink prompt 45 where the first line is Leo's and the second one is the reader

When realisation hits you (literally) (rottmnt Leo x reader)

scenario 24: Cloudgazing or Stargazing together, as you lie next to each other, their hand slips into yours. prompt 45: “I think I’m falling in love with you.” “I think I’m okay with that.”

summary: Leo confesses to reader after a tiring day.

relationship: Rise!Leo x GN reader

warnings: none, fluff!

word count: 1.1k

A/N: not entirely sure if this one makes sense but i think it’s cute!

(english is not my first language. constructive criticism and grammar corrections are very appreciated!)

— — —

After a long and tiring week, you finally got to kick back on Friday night. The turtles had been on a mission all day, and you were looking forward to when they’d come back, so you could have your usual start into the weekend, which consisted of eating, gaming until ungodly hours, and sleeping in a cosy pile with your favourite reptiles in the projector room, with no set alarms the next morning.

You were already waiting at the lair, watching some Japanese show with Splinter, when you heard the steps and shuffling at the entrance. Scrambling to your feet, you quickly made your way to the turtles. You were about to greet them, but the moment you took a look at them you couldn’t help but notice how exhausted they looked. They were super beat.

After cleaning themselves up, they excused themselves and went straight to bed, they didn’t even have the energy to eat. Since you had ordered takeout, you wrapped it up and placed it in the fridge, leaving a post-it note in each room, telling them to get food when they woke up.

It wasn’t rare for one or two brothers to go to bed if they were super tired, but you’d at least stay up with one of them. At this point the lair was like your second home, but even so you felt a little silly to be the only one awake at someone else’s house.

As you made your way into Leo’s room to leave the note, you saw him sitting on the bed, head in his hands. Your heart skipped the tiniest beat at the prospect of getting to spend the night with your favourite turtle after all, but he looked just as tired as his brothers. Why wasn’t he in bed yet? You approached Leo and noticed he was trembling slightly. Of what exactly, you didn’t know.

“Are you okay?” you asked, sitting down next to him and placing a hand on his shoulder.

“I don’t think I can sleep yet” he said, voice laced with exhaustion, and lifted his head to look ahead at the wall of his room. “I’m way too wired.”

With a deep sigh, he then turned to you.

“I’m sorry you came over for nothing. There won’t be any games tonight it seems” he apologised and rubbed his face.

“Hey, it’s no problem” you said genuinely, giving his shoulder a reassuring squeeze. “The others need the rest. And so do you, honestly.”

“Do I look that bad?” he asked, to which you nodded and he chuckled.

You removed your hand from him and placed them both in your lap, waiting for him to say something. You wanted to wish him a good night and let him rest, but you also didn’t want to leave just yet.

“How about we do something low-key?” you asked after a while of him still staring ahead in silence. “Since you can’t sleep and I’m already here. We could go to the rooftop across the street and just chill for a while?”

Leo thought about it for a moment, then agreed to your suggestion.

You made your way to the roof in comfortable silence, and once you got there, you both lied down next to each other on the fluffy throw blanket you had picked up on your way out.

There wasn’t a single cloud in the night sky, the stars shone brightly, surrounding an almost full moon. From below you, you could hear the jostling of the city night life. Breathing in the cool air, you made a mental note to come here more often at night; it felt really peaceful.

Stealing a quick glance at Leo, you could see his furrowed brows, like he was deep in thought. You assumed it was about something that went bad in the mission or the like, so you decided to distract him a little, if only to help him calm his mind so he could sleep.

You started pointing at different stars, telling him their names and some facts and stories you remembered about the constellations.

As you were almost running out on info, you looked at him again. While he was listening, there was still something clearly troubling him. You stopped what you were saying, which caught Leo's attention since you suddenly went silent, and he looked back at you.

“You wanna talk about it?” you asked, referring to the mission.

He merely hummed in response, still lost in his thoughts. Then he turned on his side, so that he was facing you completely, and you mirrored him. Suddenly aware of how close you two were, you tried to control your pounding heart while he looked for the right words to say whatever it was he wanted to say.

You studied his face in the meantime, and that’s when you realised there was a slight bruise on his jaw. Without thinking, you instinctively reached out to hold his face, running your thumb over the darkening spots on his skin.

Physical touches and caresses weren’t very rare with him, but something about this moment felt different. There was some unspoken tension between you, and you hoped you weren’t wrongly reading something into it that wasn’t there (because you wished there was…). Your train of thought was interrupted though as Leo took your hand in his, closing his eyes. Your breath hitched at that, and you waited expectantly for him to talk.

“You know” he started, still with his eyes closed. “I realised something today.”

You didn’t answer just yet, waiting for him to continue.

“In fact, I got punched in the face because I was distracted thinking about it.”

For a second, an amused smile appeared on your lips as you wanted to make a joke about it, but there was something about his tone that was so uncharacteristically serious that you stopped yourself. There was no trace of sarcasm in the way he spoke, no mischief, no smirk.

“What were you thinking about?” you asked instead, almost in a whisper.

That’s when Leo opened his eyes, and even in the dim moonlight, that painted everything with pale and cool hues of blue, you saw the spark in his gaze and light blush prickling his cheeks.

“You.”

“Huh?” is all you managed to answer, but it sounded more like a squeak than a question. Despite the cool night breeze blowing over you, your whole body felt like it had been set on fire.

“I think… I think I’m falling in love with you” Leo said with a loving squeeze to your hand, and gave you the softest and most earnest smile you had ever seen on him.

You mirrored his smile, and propped yourself up on your elbow. Leaning down, you saw Leo’s eyes go wide for a moment as you placed a gentle kiss to the bruise on his jaw. Without leaning back completely, you looked back at him with flushed cheeks.

“I think I’m okay with that.”

~~~~~🐥 taglist: [more info in my pinned post!] @hearteyedracoon, @koalaray, @maribatshipper, @whygz

#goose feathers #500 goslings event #rottmnt #save rottmnt #rise of the tmnt #rise of the tmnt x reader #tmnt x reader #rottmnt x reader #rottmnt leo x reader #leonardo x reader #tmnt 2018 #rise leo x reader

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ethanjhake · 1 month ago

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Personal Life Update 🙃

Well, I quit my part time job.

I've been working as a deli clerk at a local grocery store for about a year and seven months, and during all that time I've been looking for better work options, applying to different (better) jobs, and found nothing.

Working there has been a big strain on me mentally. I'm a huge introvert by nature, meaning that too much social interaction will wear me out like nothing else. Working in a customer service position means a constant flow of new people who I have to interact with, so by the end of every day my energy would be so low I couldn't ever bring myself to work on my art or comics. And originally, the only reason I left my full time job was to free up more time for me to pursue comics as a career.

Where I work, the quality of customer service is meant to be really high. Your typical "the customer is always right" type of mentality. In my training they literally told me to think of the customer as my boss, since they are the ones ultimately paying the store and me by proxy.

But having to bow to the wishes of just Anyone has moral consequences when the customer is in fact not right, and very very wrong. The more and more I had bad customers, the more and more I was forced to watch, and even enable bad behavior.

Having to do this every day was crushing for me. All the while management was telling me to keep on smiling, like nothing was wrong. I started to employ coping mechanisms just to get me through the work day, but then I started to see that creep into my personal life. My wife would get my attention, just to show me a funny meme or something, and I'd mentally wince, as if she was a customer.

I love people, they're all beautiful and unique in their own ways. But my time behind the deli counter made me start to view everyone else as a potential threat, just in an effort to protect me from having to encounter wrong doing and then be forced to stand by and smile. Or even having to ask the wrong doer if there's any way I can help them?

So I quit. Or, I put in my two weeks. even as much as it pains me to have to spend another minute working there, I thought it would be best to leave in a way that feels respectable. I also wanted time to say goodbye to good coworkers I met there, and not leave them with an empty slot on the schedule that they would have to scramble to fill.

But the big problem with this is that I don't have another job lined up, and I've been looking for different jobs for almost two years and not found anything. So the best I can do right now is step out in faith. And I guess, sometimes you don't have to know where you're going quite yet, but you can't stay in the City of Destruction.

So I'm technically "unemployed" at the moment, although I will be taking on Door Dashing as a means to make money for the mean time. And there's hope in that. It looks like I can actually make more money doing that than I was at my old job. But even then the pay is uncertain, and I have to keep an extra eye on my car and its maintenance. It does also complicates taxes some.

It feels like the Wrong Decision™ in many ways, but even then, staying feels like an even worse decision. I wasn't even making that much money there.

Yesterday my boss offered to leave me in the system, so that if I needed more work I could shoot her a text and she could schedule me in as long as she had the extra hours. And on the one hand I was tempted, it felt like it could be a good safety net if all else fails. But after thinking it over, I said no. I think God is calling me to leave for good, and to trust that whatever happens He will provide. I don't know how He will or how long it'll take, but that's not what trusting is about. And I honestly feel like that's the point of what I'm going through right now. I feel like God specifically had my boss make that offer, not as a test, per se, but more to help me understand that I am stepping out in faith, and that—even as scary as it is—I do trust him.

So today is my last day. After that I go to Door Dashing and continue my work on SotF. And I guess, it really couldn't hurt to put a link to Ko-Fi here. I'm not asking for money so don't feel any pressure, but God does provide though his people. So if you feel so inclined here is my Ko-Fi.

And here I go,

#personal #text #life update #jobs

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digital-yuri-saga · 7 months ago

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WALL•E and Unregulated Capitalism

So, we all know that the second half of WALL•E (Pixar, 2008) shows that apparently, in 700 years, the human race is all fat, “disabled” and “lazy”, right?

Except, the problem is, they didn’t get that way on their own.

WALL•E’s main message, in my mind, is that if left unchecked, capitalism will take away literally everything. And, you can see that: The Earth has been practically destroyed by pollution, and the human race has to live in a giant outer space cruise ship, confined to their reclining hover chairs and watching their holographic screens all day while they idly sip on their food, all Buy-N-Large(TM) brand.

What’s more - the tasks the humans would normally do, such as housekeeping, putting on makeup, teaching their babies everything they need to know to be able to Human properly, even piloting the damn ship - all of it is performed by robots who were made to take those tasks out of the humans’ hands.

But is that really it? No.

Part 1 - The First Half

At the beginning of the movie, we see WALL•E performing his programmed directive - to “clean up” the Earth by compacting all the trash on the ground into huge towers, and nothing else. There are dozens, if not hundreds of other WALL•E line robots who perform the same task, and they seem to be self-sufficient - they have their own shelter, they are solar-powered so they don’t have to rely on an outside source of energy, and they don’t seem to need anything else.

And then a dust storm happens and all of the robots are damaged except for one, the titular protagonist and the last of his kind.

The movie skips to 700 years later, at which point WALL•E seems to have gained some kind of individuality. He has plenty of spare parts to keep himself alive if needed, and more than that - He likes to collect things that the humans have left behind. He collects everything from twinkies to lighters to even VHS tapes, and he seems to love all of it - all the things that humans loved, that were left behind when they left Earth.

While we see WALL•E’s current daily life, we also get some context: The humans have left Earth as it is, and are now on a giant ship somewhere. This is revealed through an advertisement from Buy-N-Large, which was seemingly a prominent corporation in the world beforehand. They seem to have had control of everything, actually - we see an “Ultra-store”, gas station, and an unholy amount of other Buy-N-Large branded things, as well as enough advertisements to make the average person irate within seconds.

At some point, this company - who knows what they originally were - monopolized so much of everything that it had basically taken over what we see of Earth. Everything, everywhere was Buy-N-Large, and nothing else. There are even corporate-sponsored newspapers - promoting the propaganda they want regular people to hear.

We then get some blatant exposition in the form of an advertisement, fitting for the world as we see in the movie.

“Too much garbage in your face? There’s plenty of space out in space! BnL Starliners leaving each day, we’ll clean up the mess while you’re away.”

The mega-corporation was advertising vacations to the regular people, presumably also non-stop, in addition to the propaganda that the Earth was in trouble and everything sucked. Why not have a little escapism?

“The jewel of the BnL fleet - The Axiom! Spend your five-year cruise in style. Maided on 24-hours-a-day by our fully automated crew, while your captain and auto-pilot try to course for non-stop entertainment, fine dining…”

Here we get to see a glimpse of what humans looked like before they left - perfectly “normal”. There does seem to be some diversity in the people shown, too, though they are clearly actors who were likely cherry-picked and paid to promote this ship. I don’t see a single fat person in the ad, which is more likely implied to be because of the in-universe corporation choosing only the most conventionally attractive people to promote their product.

“…and with our all-access Hover Chairs, even grandma can join the fun! There’s no need to walk!”

Also, it seems that at least a small part of the intention of the hover chairs was to be a mobility aid for those who wouldn’t be able to get around a giant-ass cruise ship on foot. But, they weren’t just advertised to the elderly / disabled / people that needed them, they were advertised to everyone.

Everyone that could afford a “5-year” vacation on a giant cruise ship, anyway.

We don’t see what happens to those who may not be able to afford, or even get to, one of these ships. Presumably, they were left behind too. Would a giant capitalist regime let people on that couldn’t pay them? Doubtful.

After this, we see WALL•E discover the plant - a glimmer of hope. Something finally grew on Earth. And then, immediately after, a probe - presumably from BnL to try and find evidence that the Earth was sustainable for living - lands, carrying several EVE units, also presumably made by BnL. One of them is deployed from this ship, and she is activated and begins scanning her surroundings for life.

WALL•E follows this unit around and EVE pays him no mind, because he seemingly doesn’t have what she’s looking for. She is eventually frustrated with not being able to “complete her purpose” to the point of taking it out on her surroundings. The two finally exchange formalities, and once another dust storm passes by, WALL•E takes her back to shelter.

EVE seems to fall in love with all of WALL•E’s objects, just like he did, and then he shows her the plant. Detecting life, EVE’s programming overrides her free will and collects it as a sample, then forcibly shutting her down. WALL•E stays by her side the entire time until the ship comes back for her. He hitches a ride on the ship, not wanting her to be taken away forever, and it leaves for space with him, docking on the Axiom.

We see here that there is an immense amount of space junk orbiting Earth, and that BnL was even attempting to colonize the Moon.

After the EVEs are unloaded, we see some of the robot crew of the Axiom, who strictly conform to their directive. And, as soon as anyone steps out of line, police bots are summoned - and one of them sees the plant that EVE has found and takes her away.

Part 2 - The Second Half

After some robot hijinks, we see the state of humans 700+ years after they left Earth - All of them have become fat and seemingly unable to provide for themselves to a ridiculous extent. They are constantly bombarded by ads from the screens in front of them while the robots seemingly do everything else. Several generations have passed since the original humans boarded the ship. The robotic teachers are indoctrinating kids from a very young age about BnL - quote, “B is for Buy-n-Large, your very best friend.” The megacorp wants people to be dependent on them for everything - why else would they herd everyone into areas they have full control over?

Keep in mind that while these humans all seem to be fat and hover-chair bound - this seems to be enforced. As stated earlier, BnL wants people to be hopelessly dependent on them, because that’s how they stay in power.

WALL•E breaks one person’s immersion, and she looks around - she doesn’t immediately go back to what she’s looking at on the screen, and even helps WALL•E. She doesn’t go back to looking at her screen, either. She apparently didn’t even know the Axiom had a pool, even though she “could have” looked over and seen it at any time. That is how much control BnL had over these people’s lives.

EVE is brought directly to the cockpit of the ship, where the Auto-Pilot AI notices she has found a plant and wakes up the Captain. The Captain himself is victim to the same automation as everyone else. He simply goes through the motions, and then changes the time for everyone on the ship. After his morning announcements, in which another ad is shown, EVE is reactivated.

We then see the protocol for organic life being found - and a pre-recorded message from the then-current CEO of BnL. In this, he mentions that the microgravity of the ship could have caused some “slight bone loss”, an understatement, which leads me to wonder - Was the CEO telling the truth about the passengers’ state being due to the conditions outside the ship? Or was the complete immersion, to the point where the Captain of the ship remarks he didn’t know there was a jogging track, the real cause for their current state?

During a “why can’t I voice activate the book :(“ joke, WALL•E and EVE reunite, and EVE immediately rushes to hide him from the police bot and tries to warn him of something related. Hmm.

Once EVE is opened up, the plant seems to be gone somehow. EVE is deemed to be ‘defective’, and sent to the repair ward. This will be important later.

We then see the Captain analyze a sample of dirt that came from WALL•E, and out of curiosity, he then begins to look up topics related to Earth. Knowledge that he didn’t already have. Knowledge that Buy-N-Large did not educate him on, because they wanted him to be just as hopelessly dependent on them as the others.

We are then taken to the “repair ward” - where the “defective” robots go. Here we see robots with all sorts of erratic behavior, behavior that puts them out of line. When looking at these robots as if they were human, this can also be interpreted as stereotypical mental illness that this repair ward is trying to “cure”. WALL•E promptly causes a scene, accidentally freeing all of these robots, who parade him around and alert the attention of the police bots. The robots, meant to serve the passengers of the ship, are governed by their own police state.

WALL•E and EVE are framed as rebels, and they go down to the escape pod bay, where we can see a police robot deposit the plant necessary for the humans return to Earth into an escape pod so it isn’t found.

The police robots are programmed not only to enforce compliance on the robots, but to use deception to keep the humans as they are - hopelessly dependent on Buy-N-Large.

WALL•E goes after the pod, and is shot into space along with it. We then see that the pod is set for self-destruct, implying the robot’s intention was to destroy the plant. To kill any remaining hope that humans could return to Earth.

The plant is saved and WALL•E and EVE have some romantic moments in space, and we come back to the woman from earlier, who still has not turned her screen back on. She is still admiring the view of space from the giant windows as the others cruise by, immersed in their screens. She accidentally breaks another person’s immersion, the man from earlier, and they connect over seeing WALL•E outside.

We cut back to the cockpit, and the Captain is still doing research into everything he’s missed about Earth. The Auto-Pilot tries to get him to stop by setting the ship to “nighttime mode”, but he doesn’t listen and continues researching. He does not blindly follow the AI. The other two humans seem to rebel some, too, splashing pool water at each other with their feet, and then at a robot when it tells them not to.

WALL•E and EVE sneak back into the ship, and EVE tries to sneak through a trash chute back to the cockpit in order to deliver the plant. The Captain is overjoyed, but that turns to confusion and disappointment when he sees EVE’s memories of Earth. But, that doesn’t last very long, since he has that hope for a better Earth - the plant. They have to go back.

The Captain calls the Auto-Pilot down, who immediately tries to take back the plant, and when the Captain refuses to give the plant to it, it shows him a video - from the same Buy-N-Large CEO. And the CEO gives the message,

“…so, just stay the course. Um, rather than try and fix this problem, it’ll be easier for everyone to remain in space.”

”Rather than try and fix this problem, it’ll be easier for everyone to remain in space.”

Not that it would be impossible to solve.

It would be easier.

All of this - the programming the Auto-Pilot and police bots conformed to that led them to use deception to keep humans in space, the completely sedentary, fully immersed-in-ads states the humans were led into, the reason they have been up there for 700 years - all of it was because of the opinion of one man. One CEO. One CEO who decided that it was easier if humans never regained their autonomy, that it was easier if they never got back to a state where they could fend for themselves. He wanted this.

The Captain once again rebels against the AI from Buy-N-Large.

“I can’t just sit here and do nothing! That’s all I’ve ever done! That’s all everyone on this blasted ship has ever done! NOTHING!”

“I don’t WANT to survive! I want to live!”

The Captain - no, the humans don’t actually want this. And when they are given even a scrap of their agency back, by chance through WALL•E or otherwise - they want to do things their way. Not the way Buy-N-Large wants them to.

As soon as the Captain plainly denies the Auto-Pilot, it and the police bots still under Buy-N-Large’s will immediately go against the Captain. The plant is taken from his arms and thrown into the trash chute. And who manages to climb up the chute just then, but WALL•E. He tries to keep the Auto-Pilot from getting the plant, and the Auto-Pilot resorts to damaging another robot to get what “it” wants.

What Buy-N-Large wants.

Both of the robots are tossed down the trash chute, and the Auto-Pilot forcibly takes control of the ship.

But hope is not lost - WALL•E and EVE reawaken in the trash area, and they realize that WALL•E can be repaired if they get home. So, the two of them fly out of the trash area, going straight for the area where they will deposit the plant and turn the ship around.

The Auto-Pilot catches wind of this, and sends every police bot available after them. The Captain helps by hijacking the comms, telling WALL•E and EVE what to do. The “defective” robots from before help the two, and the Captain stages his own rebellion by causing a distraction. He manages to press the button to launch the return mode of the ship, and everybody’s immersion is broken at the same time. They are herded onto the same deck, and see reality for themselves - the Captain is struggling against his own robot. The Auto-Pilot ends up tilting the ship to get the Captain off of it, and because of this all of the humans fall out of their chairs and begin sliding helplessly downhill.

Mind you, these people have just been broken out of their entranced state induced by Buy-N-Large - likely for the first time. They may never have moved a muscle outside of changing what they were watching, or grabbing a cup - all because Buy-N-Large wanted it that way. They have all just been given their agency back for the first time. And, after the humans are almost killed by transportation vehicles because of the Auto-Pilot, and WALL•E ends up squashed in the plant deposition chamber because of the Auto-Pilot, the Captain stands up for himself.

Literally.

It may not be true for every single human on the ship, but they have always had the ability to stand up for themselves, literally and figuratively. Buy-N-Large - the mega-corporation - tried to snuff all of that autonomy out.

The Captain is able to walk - albeit with difficulty - over to the Auto-Pilot and turn it off, and the ship is turned back upright. Some of the other humans can be seen standing up too in this scene, so these specific humans may not have needed mobility aids - this is unclear. But, either way, they, along with everyone else, were forced into them, necessary or not, for Buy-N-Large’s purposes.

Together, everyone manages to pass the plant to EVE, who tosses it into the deposition chamber. The course is set for Earth, and the humans fall over again as the ship launches at hyper-speed towards its destination. The Axiom lands on Earth, and the humans step out onto its surface for the first time.

One notable thing I see in the background at this point - you can see one human walking with the help of a robot as a mobility aid. Despite their autonomy being returned, some of the humans may still need mobility aids, and that’s okay. That’s normal.

WALL•E is repaired, he and EVE have their happy ending, and, meanwhile, the humans set out to rebuild. The scene pans backwards to see the progress the humans have made - and a lot more plants. And then the movie ends.

The credits show more of this progress, with the humans making progress as the visuals “evolve”, seen with the evolution of art - likely not to imply that the humans were in a “devolved” state, but to emphasize just how much was being done - and, hopefully, the influence of Buy-N-Large is gone forever.

Part 3 - Afterword

Disney-Pixar’s WALL•E is not about how, if left to their own devices, humans will become lazy and ruin the planet.

WALL•E is about how, if left unregulated, capitalism will strip away the freedoms humans have outside of their interactions with their products, to the point where they are hopelessly dependent on them, because nothing else exists.

We don’t see very much of the more controversial parts of humanity in WALL•E - homelessness, real (not artificially induced) disability, the differing opinions of humans - because capitalism in that world has tried (and almost succeeded!) in stamping those out.

Sometimes, a narrative will not include everything that exists to tell itself.

I believe, for a movie made in 2008 (16 years ago, almost two decades at this point!), WALL•E makes a great point. That point is not about the hopelessness of humanity, but the dangers of capitalism.

Was it insensitive, in retrospect, to portray that by way of making all of humanity fat and “lazy”?

Yes, but they were never “lazy” in the first place. They were made that way through several hundred years of indoctrination by the corporation - the capito-fascist regime that had control over their very existence. As soon as they gained their autonomy back, they used it to stand up for themselves - taking the “hard way” out.

Does it demonize mobility aids through this? No. The hover-chairs used as mobility aids throughout the movie were partially intended to be mobility aids for those who needed it - Buy-N-Large abused those to give themselves another layer of control over the humans. We also see a human still using a mobility aid at the end of the movie, a walker, when everyone steps off the ship.

Would this movie hold up to 2024’s standards for fat representation? It definitely seems like this isn’t the case. But, the movie was made in 2008. It would be impossible to properly hold a film to standards that came into play after it was created.

TL;DR: WALL•E doesn’t think humans will end up lazy - but they may be subjected to capitalist fascism.

#wall-e #long post #important #pixar #disney #discourse #essay #this will be the only thing i have to say on the subject #i will also be muting notifications #please read the entire thing before you piss on the poor

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