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concretecultist · 5 months ago

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Sacrilege

summary: being the daughter of a Pastor meant your life was the Bible through and through. Noah being the son of the choir director meant that even though he rejected the faith, he still showed up. You’ve known Noah all your life and always tried to get him right with Christ so he wasn’t predisposed to an afterlife of eternal damnation. What you didn’t expect though, was for him to begin chipping away at the walls of the only thing you’ve ever known. Faith.

pairing: PastorsDaughter!Reader x Noah Sebastian

warnings: sacrilege, smut, religious themes, corruption kink, unprotected sex, mentions of cult-like behaviors, "kool-aid" incident mentioned, just please beware reading this if this is not your vibe!!

word count: 4.6k

A/N: this is an 18+ blog so MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!!! This is ALL FICTIONAL!!

You and Noah had known each other since you two could talk. He was always the rebellious one, you were the rule follower, you had to be. Your father was the Pastor of the Concrete Commune of Christ.

Coining its name based off of how "solid" the community’s connection to God was.

But even concrete can crumble.

“Have you changed your ways yet?,” You question him, “I grew up with you, Noah, I really don’t want you to go to hell,”

“Oh, Dove you’re gonna go to hell too,” he smirks, all of this was a joke to him. He has made it clear to everyone in the commune, from a young age, how he feels about religion but they let him stay in hopes that the 28 year old will one day accept Jesus as his Lord and Savior.

“No I’m not,” you shriek, “I’m a follower of God, I live by the book,”

“You live by the book huh?,” he plucks the collar of your shirt, “Deuteronomy 22:11, ‘ye shall not wear cloth combining linen and wool’… your little sweater with the mock collar is a sin,”

“Leviticus 19:28,” you eye his tattoos, any time you two were near each other, it was a banter like this. Noah found it amusing but you were serious. You cared about everyone in the commune, you wanted them to make it to Heaven.

“I’ve made my peace with knowing I won’t make it to those pearly gates,” he gets closer, “If I did it’d probably be to spit in your God’s face and dethrone him,”

“Noah, that’s blasphemous!,” you gasp, “W-what… what is wrong with you?,”

“Your God makes no mistakes right? So he made me this way”

“Satan really has his claws in you,” you give a shaky breath.

“He’s a cool guy,” shrugging as if it were a normal statement, “He’s not as uptight with the rules to brainwash you all like cattle,”

“It’s not brainwash! This is the way. The word of God is the true light,”

“Why do you think he’s called the Shepherd, Dove? Because you’re all sheep. None of you think for yourselves. It won’t be long before your father is feeding you all kool aid and you all commit mass suicide,”

“You’re real nasty you know that?,” How dare you he question your faith. Your faith is all you’ve ever known and as far as you are aware, it's the reason you wake up every day.

“Oh baby you haven’t seen nasty. I can show you though,”

“I cannot commit sin as freely as you,” the disgust written all over your face, “I cannot commit sin with a clear conscience,”

“So repent,” He brushes a strand of hair out of your face, “What did your Lord and Savior die for if you don’t sin? You really want him to have died for nothing? Up on that cross with nothing but a sponge of vinegar in his mouth. You really want to be that ungrateful and not appreciate his sacrifice?,”

He gets closer to where he’s whispering in your ear. He’s so haunting, so… unholy, you question how he doesn’t burst into flames when he walks through the doors of the sanctuary.

“I can show you a real baptism. I bet you’d look pretty in all white… wet… as you cleanse your soul of the dirty acts you’ve committed”

“W-we… we should really focus on getting the lesson together, Noah,” you scoot your chair away from him and turn back to your bible, “I think the book of Psalms will be a great place to start. We can teach the others about the protection the Lord gives as long as you believe and do right unto others,”

Noah played your little game. Giving you pointers for the lesson. For someone who rejected faith the way he did, he knew the Bible pretty well, better than you actually, and almost no one in the congregation knows the Bible better than you.

That’s what started your time spent together. Your father was wary of Noah, considering his tattoos and his music taste outside of the church but when he saw the way Noah studied the Bible with you, he figured you were a good influence, he figured that you were following in his footsteps and spreading the gospel.

Except that wasn’t the case.

Noah was planting seeds in the garden that was your mind. He sat beside you every Wednesday night and Sunday morning whispering in your ear. Deconstructing everything your father was speaking at the altar.

He was able to plant seeds of doubt so easily and that shook you. How solid was your faith if you could question it in just a few weeks? Maybe the Devil is trying to get you on his side, but you must stand firm. So you pray more, you sit at the altar more, you sing hymns so that the voice of doubt could be drowned out.

But it was proving to be pointless almost, you’d go home every night and find it hard to read the Bible. Finding it hard to believe in a God that let horrible things happen around the world and to innocent people.

How do you keep faith like that?

That’s how you find yourself in the pulpit of the church.

Looking up at the statue of the figure that you called Lord and Savior for the last twenty something years of your life.

“Lord, if you’re listening I really need you to keep me strong in my stance. If you’re really there why is my faith in you wavering? If you’re really up there… why don’t you help the poor? Why do you keep sister Paula in an unsafe situation with her husband? If you’re really there-,”

“No one is listening, Dove,”

He has a teasing edge to his tone. He’s making fun of you.

“No one is up there answering your prayers,” his voice gets closer until he’s sitting beside you, “You’re alone. You’re praying to a voice in your head. You want to know why he doesn’t help the poor? Because he isn’t real. And if he is… then he’s one selfish fuck. Wanna know why sister Paula stays with her abusive husband? Because your father brainwashes his congregation into believing that divorce is something that immediately sends you to hell. Either that or your God is a sadistic voyeur,”

You feel Noah wipe the tears off your face as you turn to look for him.

“There are no pearly gates… there is no eternal damnation. Everything you were taught was to keep you in line. To keep you docile. But I know you wanna be set free, Dove,”

He sucks the tip of his thumb, humming at the taste of your tears.

“Do you want me to open the cage and set you free? Do you want me to show you the real light?,”

“I will be forsaken,” there’s a tremble in your tone. Your wings have been clipped long enough and yet now that you have the option to fly, a part of you wants to stay caged.

“You’ve already been abandoned, Dove,” his spit covered thumb traces over your lips, “I can give you something to pray to. Something that’s tangible. Something you can see… touch…,”

“I can be your God,” he was so close to your face now, so close that his lips were touching yours, you could smell the sweet mint of his favorite gum, “I can make today your judgment day. I can walk you to the light, Dove,”

“H-how? You’re just a mortal like me,”

“You doubt me but believe in a man that rose on the third day?,” he was smiling as if your words were the world's best comedy. The congregation had its hooks in you deep. But it's okay, he'd remove them with ease.

“Noah. I don’t wanna go to hell,” you cried, it was hard to break free of all you were taught

“With me, heaven is the only place you’ll go. Follow me and I can show you the real way. Follow me and you won’t have to live your life in fear. Follow me… and I will show you how a real God treats his followers,”

Before you can answer, Noah is taking your hand and guiding you to your father’s study, locking the door before letting go of your hand.

“Psalm 90:17, what does it say again?,”

You swallow thickly, you know the verse and for some reason it’s not coming out. It doesn't feel right to spew scriptures anymore.

“You claim to know the Bible front and back and can’t recite one of the easiest scriptures?,”

Why was he being so mean? One minute he seems as though he wants to help but the next he’s asking you questions related to scripture, what is his game?

“I do know it it’s just-,”

“Not important enough to remember,” he leans back on your father’s desk, arms folded, tattooed muscles stretching the sleeves of his tight black tee.

“Let the favor of the Lord our God be upon us, and establish the work of our hands upon us. Yes, establish the work of our hands" Noah answers for you, sarcasm dressing his tone as he throws his hands up as if he's praising, “what does that scripture mean, Dove?,”

“It means… it’s a plea for the Lord to bless people and their work beyond imagination,” you seemed dazed.

“Every night that’s the last thing I speak before bed after I cum to the thought of you on your knees, praying to me,”

“M-Matthew 7:15, Noah… Beware of false prophets, who come to you in sheep’s clothing but inwardly are ravenous wolves,”

“And you are but a little lamb,” He pushes himself off the desk to circle you and suddenly… he feels like a hawk circling his prey, “I never came to you in sheep’s clothing… you knew who I was from the beginning,”

He was so close now. Whispering in your ear so close that it sent shivers down your spine.

“I had faith you could change. I prayed for you every night, Noah I wanted you to see the light,”

“I am… the true light. I don’t need you to pray for me… I need you to pray to me,”

“I cannot… Exodus 20: 4-5. There are no other Gods, Noah,”

His dark chuckle made your stomach do flips. How is he okay with laughing in the face of God like this?

“You’re forgetting a vital piece of that scripture, Dove,” his hands are touching you now and you find it embarrassing when his grip has to tighten when your knees buckle.

“I am not-,”

“I hate my people worshiping other Gods,” he answers plainly, “Your God admits there are others amongst him. He’s just a greedy…,”

A kiss to your neck makes you gasp, your mouth feels dry as you choke on your saliva.

“Selfish…,” a little nibble where your neck and shoulder meet, “Unworthy prick who doesn’t deserve a lamb like you. I deserve you. I deserve your praise. I deserve to hear you sing songs about me. I deserve to experience the look on your face when your knees ache from being on them so long when praying,”

His hand is under your skirt now, do you push him away? Do you… do you welcome it? What if this is God testing you to see if you’re a true follower?

Will you follow him?

Or the Devil?

“I deserve to be the flesh and blood you devour every first Sunday,”

His middle finger swipes between your lips and there’s an unfamiliar rush that takes over your body.

“Let me show you the fruit I bear,”

You can feel him smiling against your ear as he speaks directly into it. It feels like he’s speaking to your soul. All this time you’ve been praying and it’s been nothing but silence but now… now here Noah is, speaking his word into your ear and it’s taking over your mind.

That’s all you’ve ever wanted, was a voice in your ear with a sense of direction. Maybe the Lord has forsaken you… maybe it’s time to try a new path of faith?

“Show me the light,” you breathe out.

Those were the words he was waiting for. That’s all he needed to hear before he’s turning you around and gripping the nape of your neck to plant his lips on yours in a searing kiss. It was overwhelming, to feel his lips and his tongue and then his hands roaming your body as he sets you on the desk.

“Can I taste you?,” he asks, “Can I taste the sweet fruit you bear?,”

You don’t know exactly what he means by taste you but with the eyes of a lamb, you nod to him.

“I will be a good disciple. Show me the truth and I will follow you,”

The words coming out like projectile vomit. The haze of the confusion and deteriorating faith creates a cast over your mind.

Noah’s hands are slowly taking off your cotton panties, eyeing the string of slick that follows before it breaks its connection to your underwear and lands on your inner thigh.

“So ripe. So fresh,” he mutters as he lowers himself on his knees, “I just might have to worship you,”

It makes your cheeks heat up. All your life, all you’ve known is worshiping something you can’t see. You were taught to be humble and modest and yet here you are… with a heretic on his knees before you claiming he wants to praise you.

A flip switches.

“Show me,” you plead softly, “I wanna know what it’s like to be praised,”

If you didn’t know any better, you’d have thought his eyes turned completely black for a second, but it’s too late now. You’re already committing sin and like Noah said… don’t let Jesus die for nothing, right?

His lips make a path on your inner thighs before they find that string of slick. You feel his warm tongue flatten against your thigh and suddenly his eyes are in the back of his head and he lets out a moan that was devilish, it came from the core, as if he was parched and it was the first drop of liquid he received after a long, desolate journey.

“I knew you’d taste good,”

You’re watching his every move. You can’t tear your eyes off of him. Especially when his mouth isn’t even an inch away from your core. He stared and stared and you were wondering if something is wrong.

So you try to close your legs but he’s not having that. His big hands spread them even wider than they were before, taking in the view.

“My goodness maybe there is a God,” he smirked as he stared at your wet lips, “Back out now, Dove, because once I start, I will feast as if it’s the last supper,”

“I wanna see the light. Show me the light, No- OH!,”

You’re immediately cut off when he finally touches you. His mouth is so warm, he’s getting you all over his face like a juicy peach in the summer time.

You’re gripping the edge of the desk as if your life depends on it and with what he’s doing, it seems like it does.

He’s suckling on your bundle of nerves, his finger tips are digging into your thighs and it feels so good but all the sounds you’re wanting to make are trapped in your throat.

“N-Noah… N-,” you wheeze

“N-N-Noah,” he pulls back and mocks you. He’s taunting you and it brings a wave of embarrassment so bad that tears flooded into your eyes, “Relax. You’re being a good disciple,”

Your eyes flutter at those words as he dives back in. He’s lapping at you as if you have a prize inside and he wants it.

Then you feel it. He’s sliding a finger in and it takes your breath away.

“There we go,” he whispers against your clit, “Tell me when I’ve hit that spot,”

You have no idea what spot he’s talking about. Not until he’s adding a second finger and reaches deep within you and lightly curls his finger.

“Oh! O-oh m-my… goodness!!,” your legs bend and tremble, toes pointed. You don’t know what that is but it feels immaculate.

“There she goes,” He’s got you now. He now has made a mental map of your core. Knowing what makes you cry out, what makes you mewl like a cat in heat.

His fingers are speeding up and your juices are splashing on the ugly carpet of the church office.

You’re committing sacrilege and you know it’s wrong but why does it feel so… right? so… Heavenly?

Your stomach begins to tighten and you need something better to grip on, so your hand flies to Noah’s head, gripping so tight the moan he gives goes straight to your core and before you know it, your body is convulsing and you’re crying asking the Lord for forgiveness for the sin you’ve just committed.

“You’re forgiven,” Noah answers, “Let’s repent, yeah?,”

He slowly stands up and within the light of the rising moon, his lips are red, swollen and glistening. He’s sucking on the fingers that were just inside you and a part of you feels as though it should make you cringe but instead it causes your heart to race and you want to taste his tongue.

As if he can read your mind, his lips are on yours once more and you can taste yourself. It’s not something you’d taste alone, but tasting it on Noah? That’s something you can get used to.

After he pulls away he pulls you off the desk and brings you around to the other side. On the back of the office door is a mirror and above the door is a cross.

“As much as I’d like you on your knees… I have something else in mind that’s far more exciting,” he pulls you back and takes the swiveling chair so the back is against the desk before helping you on it, situating you on your knees and pulling the neckline of your top down so your breasts spill over.

He toys with your nipples with a shit-eating grin, admiring the way your body responds to him.

“Hebrews 13:4,” you whine. The guilt started to creep back in, maybe you should stop, Noah would understand. With the cross staring right back at you, it all started to become too much, “Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous,”

“I am the only God here, Dove,”

Your eyes meet his in the mirror and you’re back under his spell.

“What God keeps his people from experiencing something so good, so… freeing that it feels like they’re ascending? I am unclipping your wings, Dove. Won’t you fly with me?,”

You feel him poke at your core, spreading the wetness, coating his tip. He just wanted to slide right in but he knew he had to work you up first. His grip on your breast was tantalizing. His tattooed hand in contrast to your skin was a beautiful sight to see.

He was right.

What God kept his people caged from experiencing beautiful sights like this?

“Start praying,” is all he says before he starts pushing the tip in, “I want to hear what you pray for,”

It was a distraction tactic but he couldn’t get enough of your voice. Especially when you pray for the congregation after Bible study. It always made him hard, he always wanted to bend you over the podium and just hear your delusional prayers.

“I..,”

His hand that’s on your breast is now gripping your cheeks and keeping your head straight to the mirror.

“Don’t get shy now,”

“I call upon God, the Father..,”

He pushes in more and it’s not painful but it is a lot to handle.

“God, the Son a-and God, the Holy Spirit,”

With each word he slowly makes his way inside of you before his pelvis is flush against your ass.

He sighs as if he’s been reborn again.

“Keep going, baby,”

“I… I ask that you watch over us. B-bless us with the gift to see another day. Please continue to guide and protect me,”

“You sound so pretty praying to me,”

“B-but I’m praying to God,” You correct.

“Dove have you learned nothing?,” his chuckle was so dark, “I am your God now. Everything you do. Everything you pray for. You’re saying it to me,”

His hips roll and it causes you tremble in his grip. It’s dizzying. Your vision doubles as he begins a pace to move in and out of you.

“So keep fucking praying,”

There was no room to argue. There was no hint of teasing in his voice.

You didn’t want to anger him. You wanted to make him proud.

You had to be a good disciple, right? Prove to him that you’re worthy.

“God, enlighten my mind with truth. Inflame my heart w-with… with,” a gasp is ripped from your chest as his hips snap into you, he’s so deep. It feels like your nerve endings are on fire and it’s hard to think straight.

You hear the mess being created between your legs and its mouth watering.

“Oh God, please,” your head is thrown back and you turn to look at Noah, “What… why does it feel so good?,”

Noah licked the tears that fell down your cheek. Kissing your waiting lips, picking up his pace and he swallows your cries while you grip his wrists that are caging you in that way you don’t topple over.

“I told you I would baptize you. I told you I would show you the light. I told you I’d show you how a real God treats his followers. You’re being reborn again, Dove,”

Your eyes roll the deeper he gets.

“God, please,” a whimper drips off your lips, you call out into the empty office, “Inflame my heart with l-love… enrich my life with a-service,”

Noah’s hand snaked around to your core to add pressured circles to your clit. He was everywhere.

His breath fanning on your cheek, his hand at your core, his cock deep inside, his eyes boring into your soul. His aura wrapped you up in a warm hug. This is what the presence of God feels like.

The tears flowed. This is the first time in a long time you’ve felt the reward of faith. Maybe Noah was a God… a patient God who waited for you to find your way to him.

He has a follower for as long as you’ll live… and maybe there after.

“Don’t forsake me,” you moan, “I need you. I need something to b-believe in. Don’t f-forsake me. Don’t forsake me!,”

It was a prayer that Noah never expected to spill from your mouth with such conviction.

“A true God doesn’t abandon his people,” Noah’s pace was deadly now. His hips clapping your ass sounded like the church drums during Sunday praise and worship. Your moans were more beautiful than any gospel Noah would help direct during Tuesday night practice.

“I will follow you, I will follow you, My Lord,” you reach behind him to grab at his hair. At this point, your hips were moving back to meet him.

“Thank you!!,” a wanton moan escapes you as he adds an intoxicating amount of pressure to the bundle of nerves between your legs, “Th-thank you for… for you faithfulness a-and presence in my life!,”

Most people loved for dirty talk… but this was incomparable. This couldn’t be topped. The little bird of his dreams was singing her tune for him.

Anyone could get off to dirty talk. But only someone as twisted as Noah could get hot and bothered to the sound of the Pastor’s daughter abandoning her faith to pray to him.

He is God.

Your God has been dethroned.

You’re his now.

“I tr-trust you with this day,” your eyes were so glossy that it actually tugged at Noah’s heart, “And all that it h-holds,”

“Fuck,” it was a mix of a moan and chuckle as he felt his cock twitch, “Say my prayer, Dove. I know you’re close. Say my prayer and you’ll see the light,”

He gave you a few moments to enjoy his thrusts with an empty mind. Mouth hanging open, breath hitching, tears falling and eyes rolling.

The beauty of this moment must have been what Peter felt when he saw Jesus walk on water.

“C’mon, Dove. Say it with me,” he slowed his pace down to pull out his phone. He wouldn’t record the action, but he needed to record the audio. He needed this and you wanted to put on a show, wanted to prove to him that he made the right choice.

“You can do it,”

You don’t know if you can. He’s so deep, his fingers are circling at a pace that’s too fast. His lips felt like they were searing an imprint onto your skin.

“Look at the cross and pray,”

He softly turned your head back to the gold cross above the door, picking up his pace once more.

“Our Father,” he begins, coaxing you to speak the words.

“Who art in H-Heaven,” the tears were spilling too fast for you to keep up, “Hallowed be thy name,”

His deep tone was mumbling under your high pitched mewls, creating a lovely harmony.

“Thy Kingdom come!!,”

He's bent you forward now. Hand under your chin, other still torturing your clit.

“Th-thy will be d-done,” the cross was hazy now, you were losing your wits about you. This was too good. It was shameful and it felt too good.

“Keep going, baby. You’re making your God so proud,”

You clench around him and you’d have thought there was a dark entity around you with the way he growled.

“On E-Earth as it is in Heav… en,” eyes rolling, there’s spit dripping down your chin and onto the expensive leather that the church tithes paid for.

Noah was on the edge. This was so sinful, even for him, but yet he smiled as he took in the view of your face in the mirror. So innocent. So… dumb. You really did have the eyes of a lamb, no wonder it was so easy for the church to brainwash you. You didn’t know any better.

But it’s okay.

He’s here to set you free.

“Give us this day our daily bread,” he groaned along with you, “And forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us,”

You were almost there. You could see the light. It was coming. This was real. Noah was right.

“And lead us not into t-temptation… b-but deliver us from ev… evil,” you were breathless now. Panting like you were suffering from heat exhaustion.

“For thine is the Kingdom,” Noah interjected, hips not stopping, you could feel your wetness dripping, your stomach was in knots.

“Oh God!,” You trembled beneath him.

“No,” he lightly smacked your cheek, “You can’t step into the light until you’re finished. Be good. You’re almost there. You don’t wanna disappoint me, do you?,”

“N-no,” you’re sobbing at this point. You can feel it in your guts. He’s stirring you up like brother Jackson’s gumbo. You were so wet. So fucking warm. The veins of Noah matching perfectly within the ridges of your own walls.

“Then finish. You’re almost there,”

“For thine is the Kingdom,” Noah prompted again.

“And the p… the power and the.. the glory forever a-and ever,”

Noah rolled his hips a certain way and pressed harder on your clit and that was your undoing.

“Amen,” he smiled darkly, it gave him a new life purpose to hear you scream and fall apart in his arms while staring at the cross above the door. His stills as he fills you up.

“Oh God!! Oh God, please, please, please,” you’re sobbing, face fallen against the leather chair.

“I’m right here,” he speaks against your shoulder, slowly pulling out of you, admiring the way his cum spills out of you and falls onto the vintage maroon carpet. He figured he should clean it up but then he opted not to.

He turned the recording off and cleaned you up as best as he could before sitting you flat into the chair and holding your face ever so softly in his hands.

“Breathe,” he had to guide you for the next few minutes.

“Am I dead?,” you ask softly. It was the most intense thing you’ve ever experienced. More than when you caught the Holy Ghost during a sermon.

“No, Dove. You’re very much alive,” he kisses your tear stricken cheeks.

“You’ve just been reborn. Welcome to your new purpose. Your new life,”

#noah sebastian x reader #noah sebastian smut #noah sebastian fanfiction #bad omens smut #bad omens fanfiction #noah sebastian one shot #bad omens imagine #noah sebastian imagine #noah sebastian fic

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conceiteddemon · 10 months ago

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There were some little inconsistencies in the first Tide and Bone chapter that I’ve been gnawing on but I think I’ve pieced together the Maw’s plan that makes everything make sense with the new context given to us in the asylum directors letters.

Parts of the break in mission seemed too…smooth? It was bothering me that there was a screaming beast transformation followed by a murder/resurrection in the backyard and that none of the guards, who were explicitly stated to be on high alert and had timed periods of feigned casualness drilled into them, didn’t go check on All of that. And maybe guards who work for greyslate have seen/heard their inmates do some weird shit and have learned to look the other way as long as it happens within the bounds of the sanatorium, fine, but in the middle of the night? In the backyard?? It seemed pretty sus to me before I realized

The Maw and the Serious Man had set up a Candela investigator honeypot

Here are the facts:

1. Sarkas’ escape from the sanitarium went oddly smooth, RIGHT after he witnessed some magic bullshit go on. It went so suspiciously that Rajan theorized that he might have been let out.

2. Sarkas had no proof of what he saw other than his word. According to Matt, a lot of Candela cases turn out to be ‘a drunk guy’ or ‘neophyte woman making big deal out of nothing’ or ‘mob hysteria’, so when Sarkas, who was previously in an insane asylum and had a background as a distrusted OUP, came to Candela with nothing but his word, it seems set up to appear as Baby’s First Investigation. Nekari and Cosmo, who are both old hat, heard about this assignment and thought it seemed ‘routine’. A little parting gift walkabout for an incredibly old man.

3. The Maw seems to mainly prey on the vulnerable. It took Rajan’s sister as a child thrall, and attempted to take him as well. This is speculation but if the Serious Man knew Raj’s mother well enough to stroll around with her, then it’s likely that she was involved with the Occult. Combine that with greyslate being a place where they put OUPs out to pasture, and her line about the circle having her ‘favorite flavors’, it seems like her preferred thralls are those who have had bleed exposure before. Investigators are both strong and vulnerable, and would make great thralls because they haven’t been ‘used up’ like the inmates were.

4. The director’s letters stated that the Maw needed stronger thralls as the current ones burned out too quickly.

So we’ve got the perfect setup to nab a few grade-A thralls, people who are in a line of work where disappearances happen regularly, are susceptible to the Bleed, come with a host of issues to feed upon but aren’t ‘greyed out’ yet like the inmates are. It seems like the perfect plan! Nab a circle, get strong thralls to get digging, set up some misdirection on where the group disappeared to once they are brainwashed and you know more about them.

Unfortunately for them, Cosmo rolled up with a guy who knew EXACTLY what he was fighting and had a chestful of locusts, a monster woman to engage the enemy monster woman in a kaiju battle, a backup triage lady since the first triage lady was preoccupied monster battling, and another dude with a personal vendetta who literally physically cannot die.

#candela obscura #candela obscura spoilers #candela spoilers #candela chapter 3 #the circle of tide and bone #cr #critical role

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saltymongoose · 11 months ago

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ok i have a request: phobos with a shy player who hides behind him to avoid talking to people. extra bonus points if they also tend to get overstimulated and will just hang out in his office because they know nobody will disturb them

Of course! Here you go Anon, Happy New Year! <3

Phobos' Reaction to a Shy!Player

(TW: Yandere, Obsessive Behavior, Referenced Violence)

The moment you first show some signs of extreme shyness, Phobos’ concern is obvious. The sight of you ducking behind him when two of his agents passed by made him wonder if they'd committed the sin of scaring you in some way.

He’ll ask you about it in a soft manner, ever polite and gentlemanly. “Have my men done anything to make you wary, Your Grace? I assure you, I’ll punish them appropriately for their transgression, whatever it might be."

(Perhaps he was a little too convinced that they did something. But the Director couldn’t stand for anyone or anything making you too scared to be there at the Nexus’ headquarters, too scared to be near him. Plus, he couldn’t stand it if these nobodies made his organization look bad to you. Not when all of this was for your favor.)

You wave your hands and try to assuage his concern, explaining that you were just a bit overwhelmed by others’ attention and that his personnel weren’t at fault for anything. (Luckily for them.) The Director merely hummed in response, but you could tell he was put at ease by the way his hand fell from the pommel of the sword at his side.

After that, however, Phobos learns to appreciate your shyness each time it rears its head. The way it causes you to go to him for comfort is something he can’t help but adore, not only because it serves him with that attention from you he so craves, but also because it shows just how much you trust him.

Really, it’s enough to make him swoon. Witnessing his God showing so much faith in him and his capabilities, seeing how you go to him and him alone for comfort—it's far more than any simple vessel of yours could hope for.

Phobos will do his best to ensure that you never regret your choice, and he’ll be infinitely welcoming and understanding whenever you feel the need to escape from others’ attention.

He’ll place himself between you and anyone else who enters your vicinity, acting as a barrier should you not want to spend your time mingling with his lessers. (Besides, he really doesn’t think that they deserve an inkling of your attention anyway, even if they are his underlings.)

If you do decide to socialize, he’ll try to keep you close regardless. He figures it would be best to do so in case anyone tries to get too comfortable around you or dares to upset you.

Needless to say, the workers of the Nexus Core are never truly at ease whenever they’re around you; it’s impossible to be. Not when their Director is leering in their direction like he’s a second away from violently lunging at them. And they honestly believe Phobos enjoys the discomfort they feel around him. (And they’d be right.)

On the off chance that Phobos cannot accompany you, he’ll have one of his officers do it instead (likely a Tower Guard or another one of his more powerful units). They’ll be under strict orders concerning their treatment of you, of course.

Phobos absolutely loves it when you hide away in his office to get some proper peace and quiet. Just being able to look up from his work and see you lazing about on the seat closest to his or reading a book he’s gifted you makes him feel all the more warm in your presence. Perhaps it’s the joy of being in your sphere, or simply the gratefulness he has that you chose him and his place as your getaway, but the butterflies in his chest can’t seem to die down when you’re so close.

He’ll encourage you to stay more often and for longer each time you drop by. Phobos will also use a myriad of reasons to try to convince you if you hesitate; whether it be his need for your tactical knowledge or him “accidentally” ordering someone to bring your favorite snacks/drink to his office before you even entered. Either way, you’ll find yourself having some obligation to spend more time with him. Not like you mind it that much; Phobos is surprisingly good company (to you, at least), and it stops you from having to mingle with others when you don’t wish to.

Overall, Phobos is surprisingly soft and doting when faced with your shyness - even affectionate (and clingy) at times. However, that's to be expected; it's a side only you could ever bring out of him, after all. For the Director of the Nexus Core, treating you any different would be a crime worthy of the worst consequences imaginable.

#tw: yandere #i ❤️ anons #my writing #samau #self aware m:pn au #player!reader #yandere madcom #yandere madness combat #madness combat x reader #madcom x reader #yandere phobos #phobos x reader

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corviiids · 4 months ago

Note

hello ⭐star⭐ for that one post about fanfic director’s commentary, hope you’re having a lovely day

thank u so much!!! i hope ur having a wonderful day too :3 ok hmm let's go with death note this time. let's talk about they both die at the end

(obviously death cw and suicidal ideation cw as well and also it's long again.)

so this one is kind of an undignified wrestle with mortality and legacy. no big dramatic strides made in that struggle, because i think getting satisfying closure about the acceptance of your own death is sort of gauche. i prefer a running stream of consciousness where you kinda flop around in the ring and kind of come to terms with things but in a really damp and hollow and itchy way.

throughout this fic i tried to use L's narration to contrast the source of his panic with the source of light's. both of them are acting sort of out of character in the sense that neither's behaviour is really aligned with the way they act in canon, and the reason i did that is sort of as a response to their own impending deaths. nobody's going to act like themselves in that circumstance. i even have them say it outright:

“I’m not really a nihilist,” says Light. “I wonder what you’d think of me if you’d met me on a normal day.” ... [L:] “I’m not ordinarily apathetic, either, by the way.”

one very simple detail showing that contrast is this:

L closes the door without locking it. He picks a direction at random and starts walking.

...

And it’d turned out they were nearby, so now they’re at Light’s apartment. “I didn’t think I’d be back here today,” he tells L, sticking his key in the lock. “Sorry if it’s messy.”

basically, light is in flight and L is in freeze. L doesn't bother locking his door when he leaves the house in the morning, but light does. L knows/accepts/has resolved that he won't be returning home that day. part of light still refuses to accept that, even though he leaves the house with the intention of ending his life.

i don't think it's fair to say that L's acceptance is more mature or that he's more at peace with his fate. it's more like...

so, L approaches situations with the perspective of looking at what is. he's truth-oriented. he accepts the facts of a given matter and then uses them to extrapolate what comes next. that extrapolation is really key to his character so it honestly bugs me a lot when people try to say that L is a purely logical character. he's not! he's running on intuition like 99% of the time and a lot of his extrapolations are wild and not evidence-based at all, but the reason for that is that he has an incredibly strong intuition based on how effectively he processes information. so L understands based on the phone call that he's going to die today, and there's really no point arguing around that fact. however, he can't actually figure out what his next steps are, because there are no next steps. he's going to die today.

throughout the story he struggles immensely with the fact that there is a piece of information he can't attain using the information he already has: he doesn't know when he's going to die, only that it's going to happen before midnight, and so he is completely unable to plan what he should do next, because he can't see any course of action through to its conclusion:

Two. Three. Two. Three. Four. Three. Two. L shakes his head. Can’t count up. Can’t count down. The numbers keep changing, but he can’t find zero. “No,” he says. Deductive reasoning, by its nature, requires premises—in order to find a fact, you must have a fact to begin with. You cannot begin with a baseline of nothing. With no reference, there can be no inference. L keeps counting, but there is no zero, or rather, there is a zero and he doesn’t know where it is. The next second could be his last, or the next, or the next, and all he can know is that at some point the ticking will stop and there is no way to orient himself to it because that point keeps moving .

this drives L crazy. that uncertainty is being represented by this incessant ticking in L's head which won't fade. ok so have you ever used a metronome? say you're counting in 4/4, so the click would play like ONE two three four ONE two three four. the rhythm is steady, but there's one emphasised beat to orient you to where you are in the measure. or, say, a ticking clock, where you can glance at it to see where you are in the 60 seconds that make up a minute. you can count down to when the next minute begins. or a timer, where you can see it counting down to zero. in L's head, he knows the ticking is counting down to the moment of his death, but he doesn't know what it's counting down to because he can't see it. he doesn't know where zero is, there's no emphasis to orient him, and he doesn't know which second he's at in the minute. he could start doing something and then die in the next three seconds, and it would be abrupt and jarring and unsatisfying, like the feeling you get when you take a breath and get winded. so he's in freeze. L accepts that he's going to die today, but he doesn't know when, and the whole time he's thinking about all the things he's never gotten to experience in his life because he's always sort of taken the concept of existence for granted. but he can't figure out how to take steps to try and check things off, because he's never actually made that list. and why make it now? because he might not get to finish them, and that's really unsatisfying. and how do you prioritise when you know you're not going to get to the end of your list and your list is infinity items long? he can't plan. he can't move. he's stuck. he panics, frozen.

light on the other hand has always had a plan for his future, and he's just watched that timeline rapidly shrink and cut all the opportunities off that he'd always been counting down towards. suddenly everything he's done up until now feels like a huge waste, because it was all a run-up to something that now doesn't exist. and he can't bear the fact that the control he'd always taken care to maintain over his life has suddenly been wrested away from him. that's why he starts the story out trying to kill himself - at the very least, he can control the when and cut the fear off.

Light swallows his mouthful of tuna and says, “If I can’t control my fate, I can at least bring it about myself.” “Does controlling your fate matter to you?” “That’s a stupid question,” says Light. “If you asked me yesterday I’d have had a hundred thousand things to say that mattered more to me than choosing how I’d die. My options have just kind of narrowed today, that’s all.”

L's right, though - light never would have done it. light wants to live more than he ever realised. i think light's had this moment of looking down the tunnel (hehe) and staring down his own impending death and realised he's not finished yet, but that's been taken out of his hands. he's realised that the mark he's left on the world has been so small and insignificant, and that if he dies now, that'll be all that's left of him. he's not willing to accept that. but that's the way things are. so he's in flight: run towards his own death so at least he can control the pace at which he dies? try to outrun the inevitable? try to speedrun a meaningful life to see if he can make some kind of mark before he stops existing for good?

“I don't know what we're walking to,” says Light. “I feel like I'm walking closer to my—to my own—” “We can stop.” “That just means it'll happen here instead. I don't want to die here, either.” “Where do you want to die?” “I don't,” Light says. His face crumples. “I just don’t. I'm not ready to be done.”

this is my favourite part of the fic tbh. it's based on a nightmare i had once that ended up changing my entire worldview. wahoo!

not to be a wanker but to an extent this is kind of what everyone's doing, technically, walking towards what will inevitably be your death, since time only moves in one direction and all that. but unlike everyone in the real world, light can see it. he wants to walk in the other direction, but it's all around him. he can see it growing closer the more he keeps moving, and all he wants to do is stop.

“What do I say?” Light asks desperately. “Hi, Dad. Hi, Mum.” Break. “Sorry I'll never give you grandchildren. Sorry I didn't get to graduate. Sorry you'll have to bury my dreams with me. Sorry for nineteen years that came to nothing in the end. It came to nothing.”

re: light refusing to speak to his family: i think he explains himself in the fic enough, but there's also another level where i think talking to his family about it means he'd have to formulate this fact into words which is difficult when he's not really accepted it himself, and on top of that, he would need to carry his family's grief and he's just not ready to do that. there's like a weird thing about talking to people who are already grieving you. i always felt really weird about that when talking to [friends/relations] who were terminally ill. light's relationship with his mother is kind of unexplored in canon but i wanted to go into it i think because your mother is someone who holds a unique spot in your life, i think, assuming you have a good relationship with her, and there is that reported phenomenon where people who are about to die tend to call out for their mothers. i guess this might be controversial but i think it's textually supported that light really cares about his family. i dont think light is ready to look at them and see them looking at him like he's someone who's already gone, and see all the things he never got to do with/for them. i honestly dont think hed survive it

ultimately it was really important to me that light died for no reason and that he didn't really have any material impact on anything. he dies trying to save a child, but someone else saves the kid first. light didn't have to take action at all. but of course, he did

As L stares, reaching hands scoop the toddler off the street from the other side.

i think in a sense it's up to personal opinion whether light had an impact or whether his friendship with L mattered at all before he died. after all, L died like an hour later, and it's not like he had anyone to pass those memories on to. he didn't even know light's surname. the memories of their last day together only exist with each other, and now they're both gone, so did it really matter? what does it mean to matter anyway? do you have to leave a legacy? is it enough that light managed to be L's only friend in the hours before L stopped existing? probably?

It's dark now. Properly dark. It's a new moon tonight, and though the stars do their best, there's little that can cut through the blackness in its absence.

...

L stares up at the moonless sky.

...

It might have been nice to die with the moon.

ofc light's name is written with the kanji for moon. just a silly joke lol.

L's death is something that's more likely to happen when you're alone, by the way. he gets mugged because he's an easy target sitting alone on a park floor. too bad he didn't have more friends and his only friend is dead.

also, the fact that he's a detective who gets murdered in a random act of crime was sort of another nod to the futility of the whole thing that light struggles with in canon. like, work your ass off, solve crime after crime, bring people to justice, but it never ends. crime continues. so is there a point? (yes, obviously.) but that's just a return to the struggle for legacy and meaning, where it's hard not to wonder whether the thing you're doing matters if it's not permanent / if you didn't solve something for good / if you didn't leave a mark that will never fade. i dunno. i think L did enough good in his lifetime. it wasn't enough to save him, but everyone dies eventually, so maybe it doesn't really matter?

i didn't want to give either of them the dignity of a full final thought. light definitely doesn't realise what's happening in the moment before he dies because he didn't see the truck, so i think he didn't have a chance to formulate one.

L watches a look of relief cross Light's face in the split second before the truck horn blares.

L of course gets cut off mid-sentence, just like he'd implicitly feared he might - trying to check things off the list, tie things off, before he's done:

What might a good final thought be? A final sight? He wonders if he could possibly find a star before

hopefully if you read the fic you got something out of it! it is, i think, intentionally pretty hollow and futile feeling, but not in a way that's supposed to make you feel hopeless or nihilistic. well, i hope not. i think there's something really cathartic that comes with the kind of closure you get specifically from accepting that sometimes there's no closure. that's how i felt writing it, so hopefully reading it is something similar. i dunno!

#jeeeeezus #i dont expect anyone to read these in depth or at all btw im kinda just pleased to have somewhere to write my thoughts out #this ended up being more a treatise on mortality than about the fic but 😬#it's also sufficiently about the fic... i hope #asks #death note #rookfic #thank you for asking! i appreciate it!#rookthots #i dunno if i said anything here that wasnt already in the fic really but it was still good to write it all out u know #eta: i started a thread i forgot to tie off but basically L operates in what *is*#meanwhile light operates in what *should be*#which is what cements him as an idealist vs L's realism

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fairytypingg · 4 months ago

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fuck it we're doing this

RAGEON HCS!!!!!

Velvet;

leo(i think thats what i am, idk a lot abt astrology)

7 minutes older and takes it way too seriously

overplans for everything

screams cries crumbles if she doesn't have 100% control over any situation

plays a lot into appearances but is actually a chronic workaholic(gets it from her uncle)

she and veneer were raaised by their uncle actually!!

velvet has a love hate relationship with the music industry, before and after the events of the movie

TRUST. ISSUES.

cannot ever talk about her feelings she'll explode

bottles everything up like im so serious

"i'll keep all my emotions right here. and then one day, i'll die."

she vents frustration by talking mad shit in cs:go lobbies

she's really good at the game

scary good aim because of it, and that DOES transfer to real life

has 97 mental illnesses and is banned from most public spaces/ref

"i inhereted severe generational trauma and all i got was borderline personality disorder"

someone help her

she needs therapy

also autistic <3

Veneer;

also a leo

7 minutes younger but only remembers bcs velvet will not let him forget

he seems chill in comparison because velvet is so high strung but he is the most dramatic bitch ever

says really out of pocket shit without thinking

"yeah that's why your parents dont call you then haha- what why are you looking at me like that what did i say"

he's the epitome of unmedicated adhd

probably needs glasses

the only one of the twins with a drivers license

was very outgoing growing up because velvet hated talking to people, so someone had to do it

doesn't rly understand velvet being depressed and thinks shes a drama queen like him

"im tragically doomed by the narrative" "drink water dumbass"

hes morosexual

"if a man can locate mount rageous on a map that man is not my type"

dumb fucking ass

love him, hes just kinda stupid.

Kid Ritz:

idk any other zodiac signs use ur imagination

every personality disorder you can think of

emotional manipulation is a sport and he is bringing home the gold

whats wrong with him

the answer is mommy issues. and rampant childhood neglect. also when you're raised as rich as he was you're gonna come out weird

struggled to understand the concept of lying as a child so when be finally got it he retaliated by lying for sport and then never stopped doing that

prefers machines to people

hes one of those "there is a minimum iq requirement to talk to me" guys

not just a talk show host!!

he's well trained to take over his father's political position when the old man retires

current director of public security

he's known as a purveyor of gossip for a reason

the saying goes that nothing happens in the city without his knowledge

hyperintelligent

like genius iq, reading at a college level by age 5, etc

actual child prodigy in every conceivable way

notorious for being "perfect"

he's the face of Ritzworth Media Corp for a reason

evil genius

also lonely

his father is grossly neglectful and his mother is a deadbeat

did i mention he has mommy issues

never met his mom and has devoted a lot of his energy to forming an intelligence network dedicated to finding her

hates people

like very antisocial

struggles HEAVILY with empathy

his interviews are notoriously difficult since he entertains himself by making his interviewees squirm

casual sadist in every conceivable way

What's Wrong With Him/aff

Orchid;

use ur imagination again im not gonna look it up

rebelling against common characterization here stay with me

secretive about her past but obviously hiding something

a chameleon type of person, can change her behavior, mannerisms, and even accent at the drop of a hat

carries a deep grief with her

distrusting and calculating

she'll "befriend" you but it takes a lot of effort to actually gain her trust

she WILL discard you if she's even slightly suspicious

nobody is sure what her goal is, but she has an agenda

orchid might not be her real name either

very mysterious

generally presents as kind and friendly but it's noticibly fake

cannot stress how much she is hiding something

capable of murder and not afraid to resort to such to protect her secret

dont look in her closet

she has participated in her fair share of underage drinking and can hold her liquor pretty well, but if you manage to get her drunk enough you may be able to pry some answers out of her

has a distaste for celebrities she doesn't see as beneficial to know

gives like. really good advice

identity issues <3

the song Phony is perfect for her

she moves as if she's used to her hair being longer than it is

what is she hiding?

#shut up quill #trolls headcanons #velvet trolls #trolls 3 #velvet and veneer #trolls #velvet trolls nobody understands you like i do #veneer trolls #my art #ig?#kid ritz trolls #orchid trolls

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coffeeandstrawberries · 6 months ago

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A Part of You is good.

It's emotional, it's impactful, it's realistic. It has a story to tell, and it tells it in an honest way, mostly avoiding melodrama. It has its flaws but they are easy to ignore once you start caring about the characters.

I really appreciated APOY for showing a family struggling with a loved one's depression. Their inability to communicate with each other and support each other felt too true at some points — I paused the film multiple times because it was that difficult to watch. It was different from the way too many media deal with subjects like addiction and mental health. In real life, those things aren't small obstacles on the path to happiness, they are life-long struggles. APOY felt true in this regard. Through a better part of the film Agnes is completely isolated in her grief, so is her mom. They cannot support one another even in the moment when they learn about Julia's death.

Felicia Maxime's character is the main focus of APOY, we see the story through Agnes' eyes. Felicia is good and completely believable in this role. There were a few moments when her acting seemed a bit melodramatic but they could have been the director's choices.

Edvin has a smaller role than the promo campaign had suggested so I get YR fans' disappointment. Even so, he is brilliant in every scene. I was pleasantly shocked by his ability to bring to life such different characters as Noel and Wilhelm. Not that we needed it after three seasons of Young Royals, but APOY is another confirmation that Edvin is an exceptionally talented actor who will make the absolute best out of any material he is given.

Someone who knows about filmmaking more than I do could write about APOY's visual language. I know nothing. I only can say that the film is really effective at making the viewer feeling the characters' emotions.

The one thing I have issue with APOY is its message. I am not a five-year-old, therefore I don't need a piece of media to be a How It Should Be Done manual. A Part of You is a film about recovering from grief but it sacrifices something to be it. Julia isn't given enough space to become a character the viewer could care about. Bluntly speaking, she is there to die so the other characters could complete their arcs. We only see Julia as her depression — she is a burden to her loved ones, her mom doesn't know how to deal with her, her boyfriend is exhausted and overwhelmed by his duties of a babysitter. Her friends are saddened by Julia's death but we don't know the reason for that, it can be a typical young people's reaction to a death of someone their age. Julia could have been a good person outside of depression she didn't know how to handle. APOY only allows her to be a plot device for other characters' growth.

It brings us to the message. The film leads us to believe that nothing could be done. Julia is dead, her loved ones have to understand her death wasn't their fault and move on. I don't disagree with that. What rubs me the wrong way is carelessness with which the film handles the subject of depression. Depression is difficult for anyone, but it's especially difficult for teenagers. They brains haven't finished developing, they biologically incapable of understanding how long life is. To them, any struggle seems like the end of the world.

I am not suggesting that APOY — a piece of media inspired by a real-life tragedy — should have had a different plot, the one that would teach the audience that depression is manageable and suicides are preventable. I think that any character with mental health struggles deserves to be portrayed as a multidimentional person and their death can't be reduced to a reason behind someone else's journey of self-discovery.

#a part of you #a part of you netflix #en del av dig #tw: mentions of depression #tw: mentions of suicide #a part of you spoilers #edvin ryding #felicia maxime #zara larsson #young royals cast

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hailarabbit281 · 8 months ago

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Shirlulu hints from Lelouch of the Rebellion Exhibition Pamphlet Book

I don't know Japanese so it's done by all Google Translate. If anyone knows Japanese and would like to translate these, please feel free to do so

SHIRLEY FENETTE

Pretty and lively. Although she is busy with both the swimming club and the student council, her eyes are always fixed on Lelouch. She notices the dangerous expression he sometimes shows, and no matter what difficulties she faces, her feelings for him always win out in the end.

好きという気持ちは強制されて成立するものではない。分かってはいる。だけどカップル認定してもらえるのなら、誰もが思いを寄せる人の元へ走るのではないか。ミレイによって開かれた「キューピッドの日」。シャーリーはルルーシュを追った。彼のいそうな場所へ･･････。そして2人はとても自然に、イベント内でカップルとなった。

Feelings of love cannot be forced. Everyone knows that. But if they could be recognized as a couple, wouldn't everyone run to the person they have a crush on? Milly held "Cupid's Day." Shirley followed Lelouch. To the place where he was likely to be... And the two of them became a couple very naturally during the event.

Personal note: I like how it's obvious to the student body and very natural/expected for them to become a couple. There are always these cases where two people evidently care about each other enough for everyone around to think "It wouldn't be a surprise if they started dating any time soon", and Lelouch and Shirley is one example of such cases, showing that Shirley's feelings were definitely not one-sided at all.

死ぬな、死ぬなっ!

いつもそばにいた。平和な世界の象徴だった。疎ましく思ったこともある。だけどそれは、本当に心を許せる相手だったから。ありのままでいられる相手だった。代わりの存在などどこにもいない。目の前で消えていくその声を、姿をただ、見ていることしかできなかった。ギアスは命を奪っていく。大切な人を奪っていく。

Don't die, don't die!

She was always by his side. She was a symbol of a peaceful world. There were times when he felt lonely, but that was because she was someone he could truly open up to. She was someone he could be himself with. There is no replacement for her. All he could do was to watch her voice and figure disappearing before his eyes. Geass takes away lives. Taking away someone important to you.

ギアスのためにシャーリーを失った悲しみがルルーシュの中で憎悪へ変換され、その矛先がギアス嚮団に向けられた。

Lelouch's grief over losing Shirley to Geass transformed into hatred, and he directed that hatred at the Geass Order.

The script writer direction of the work

Script by Ichiro Okouchi

I had decided to make the main character of my new show a cool hero.

He has supernatural powers, is full of talent, and has a great appearance. A super character who seems to have the whole world in his hands.

But even though he has everything, he can't get the things that are close to him that everyone else can have.

I wrote Lelouch as a boy with such a curse.

He has the absolute power of Geass, and is a great villain who has access to organizations, military power, power, and eventually even the world.

But he can't get small human happiness - friendship, family, or a lover. He has access to everything else.

But in the end, he gets friendship and a family.

In exchange for his life...

That was the character of Lelouch that I had in mind when I first started planning the show.

I worked on the character with the director and many other staff members, and it took the form of an animation.

How did it reach you all?

The trajectory of Lelouch exhibited here exceeded my initial imagination, becoming much more expansive and richer, almost like the life of a single person.

I believe this exhibition will not be complete until all of you who know Lelouch have seen it.

Thank you all for coming to see Lelouch this time.

I hope to be able to repay this gratitude by one day appearing before you all in person.

CODE GEASS Lelouch of the Rebellion

Personal note: In the OG anime series, Shirley is the only one that becomes Lelouch 's girlfriend after the Cupid Day event (if you listen to the outro of R2 Ep12, you will hear Lelouch trying to balance his Zero acitivies and planning out his date with Shirley at the same time). Lelouch has always taken Shirley's feelings seriously, and that's why he erased her love for him in R1 ( to relieve her of the pain he had caused her for killing her father) and then in R2, he didn't want to let Shirley take his hat at first out of fear of getting her involved in his shit again.

I have always taken Lelouch's vehement "NO!" when Shirley accused him of not being serious when he said that he liked her as him admitting that he liked her, just that he was being weighed down by many dangerous things to properly reciprocate her feelings. But Lelouch gave in to Shirley's straightforward sincerity, accepted Shirley's feelings and his own feelings as well at the end of the Cupid Day event.

And guess what, Shirley was taken away from him immediately in the next episode. And it's clearly the intention of the script writer: Lelouch seemed to have the whole world in his hands, seemed to have everything, except for the little normal happiness like friendship, family, or a lover. In the end, he got friendship (Suzaku) and family (Nunally), in exchange for his life. Notice that the "lover" part is still missing? Because Shirley is gone...

#code geass #shirley fenette #lelouch lamperouge #shirlulu #lulushir #Lelouch

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ilsaafaust · 1 year ago

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Thoughts on Ilsa Faust in DR. Spoilers.

Thinking about Ilsa Faust's fate in Dead Reckoning and director Christopher McQuarrie's comments about it in the Empire Podcast. As a fan of the franchise and with Ilsa being my favourite character, I feel like I had to write a little something based on the movie and his reason for it. A lot of fans are upset (including me) and I want to write something properly, not just the angry tweets and posts.

To start off, they wanted Ilsa to die already back when they were making TGM. And his reasoning seems to be that he didn't want Ilsa and Ethan to be romantic. Just that baffles me, if you don't want romance, how can you not just write a script where Ilsa and Ethan stay platonic? They handled it well in Rogue Nation and Fallout, you can see they care for each other deeply, but they don't act on it. We could have had Ilsa on the team, she could have gotten out of the game but was brought back in for some reason, she could have had literally any other story. But the fact that the only thing that seemed to come to mind if he didn't want to make them romantic was to kill her off seems very odd.

He also talked about wanting to work with Hayley Atwell for over ten years and this fact seems a little too convenient when thinking about why he had to kill Ilsa off. But we'll come back to Grace later.

He explains that they killed Ilsa off before they even knew the reason why. They killed off one of the most popular characters of this franchise without even having made up the reason behind it. We know that they work without a script, but making such a huge and impactful decision (he says he knew the fans would be upset) without even knowing why baffles me.

I also need to point out, I would have been fine if she had been given a decent, meaningful death. Yes, I would have been sad, but had it felt worthy it would have been one thing. With how they handled her death in this, I can't be sad. I am just mad. Frustrated. Confused.

Let's talk about Ilsa's storyline in this film. At the end of Fallout, she got out. In this film, she is disavowed for some unknown reason, and she is brought back into the game with the whole thing about the key. Kittridge says some weird comments about Ethan and Ilsa's relationship, that Ethan has saved Ilsa over and over when it is clearly the other way around. Let's go with this just being Kittridge getting it all wrong and not McQ but.. what do I know.

Ethan finds her in the desert and the whole scene is very rushed, they barely even talk, and.. she just hands him the key? What was Ilsa's plan? Ilsa's purpose? We don't know and we never find out (at least not in part one). Maybe there was more to it, more to Ilsa's story, we know they cut a lot of the movie, and we know for sure they cut at least two of Ilsa's scenes.

Then she just shows up in the van in Rome before they end up in Venice.

In Venice, we have Ilsa and Ethan hugging on a rooftop and holding hands on the gondola on their way to the party. For someone who claims that they didn't want Ilsa and Ethan to be romantic, I have a lot of questions. Especially since we also had the desert hug where she is literally on top of him. She is clearly a romantic interest, there's no questioning that. And to be honest, that is basically her only purpose in this movie.

Now things get a little messy because we arrive at the party. I have always been a fan of McQ's writing of female characters. He did absolutely fantastic in Rogue Nation, Fallout and Edge of Tomorrow. At the party, the villain gives Ethan the choice between Ilsa or Grace. One of them has to die.

Now, we know Ethan cares about Ilsa a lot, so the choice should be simple, her compared to this woman he just met who kept running away from him over and over and left him to die on a train track handcuffed to a car. The thing is, Ethan Hunt can't make that choice. He cares about each and every individual.

We've now arrived at the reason why Ilsa dies. And I cannot begin to express my distaste for the cliché writing of having a male character choose between two women, one who is a love interest and the other who is so obviously made out to be the new female lead (and potentially, a new love interest, Ethan/Grace share some suspiciously weird longing looks but the fans are divided if it is romantic or not).

Ilsa or Grace. Apparently, there can only be one woman on the team, which the previous films have shown us, too.

I just need to add that they're working against an all-knowing AI, so why isn't "the choice" between Luther or Benji? Ethan's two very best friends, two brilliant tech minds who must be a bigger threat to the entity as well?

In the end, it all comes back to that it's not people that Ethan loses - it's women. And there is only space for one brunette woman on that team.

So let's talk about the bridge scene. First of all, Grace has been running the entire movie, why would she suddenly stop running when there is a man literally trying to kill her?

Anyways, she holds him off surprisingly long considering she's just a thief and with how in the previous action sequences she kind of came off as a damsel in distress. Eventually, Gabriel knocks her down the stairs.

Enter Ilsa Faust. Highly capable spy, Ethan Hunt's equal, a woman who we know is lethal in hand-to-hand combat. We saw her take down Janik Vinter in a knife fight at the end of Rogue Nation and we saw her take down Solomon Lane in Fallout (tied to a bloody chair).

She even has the advantage of a sword compared to the villain who has a tiny knife. They fight. For some reason, Ilsa manages to get in way too close several times (watch the choreography for the RN knife fight - she's quick, get in, slash, get out, you can't linger in a knife fight) and she somehow doesn't seem to be able to hold off the old villain longer than Grace.

She gets stabbed in the chest. Ethan finds her dead on the bridge. In the next scene, Ethan looks sad on a rooftop for a few moments. Benji wipes a tear. They never talk about Ilsa again. It's underwhelming in every sense.

But what makes it worse, is the fact that in the next scene, the team asks Grace to join the team. Not going to get into the writing of that whole scene, but the thing is, they do it in a way that is basically "look what happened to Ilsa." and the things they say honestly make the team seem very cold-hearted considering Ilsa just died. And we know the team is not cold-hearted. Yes, there's a mission and they need to focus on the job, but they really didn't have to do it like that.

When I tell you I have a bad taste in my mouth, boy, do I mean it. Ilsa dies and in literally the next scene she is replaced by Grace.

Now comes the talk about her death which McQ describes as "very heroic". I'll admit, in one way, I get why he thinks it is a heroic death. Ilsa sacrificed herself to save someone else, that would be a worthy ending for someone who dedicated their whole life to saving the world, saving people.

What baffles me is how he doesn't see how poorly executed the whole ordeal was, which is what fans and a lot of critics are upset about (see list of articles criticizing it here: https://www.tumblr.com/rebeccalouisaferguson/723559978545414144/list-of-articles-criticizing-ilsa-fausts?source=share )

Is it fridging? In one way it is; Ilsa is Ethan's love interest and we know "the choice" between Ilsa and Grace happens because Ethan cares about her. McQ also mentioned it happening to up the stakes, so..

Yes, she also died because she decided to save Grace, but there's more than one reason for her death.

I feel like what also needs to be mentioned is that article with editor Eddie Hamilton who said they cut a "badass" line from Ilsa when she arrived at the bridge. They cut it because it lowered the audience's expectations for what they were about to see. "In the audience's mind, you know that Ilsa is going to kick some serious ass. She kicks a bit of ass, but not a lot. It's not a complete, devastating, ass-kicking, which you hope Ilsa is going to give at some point." They later removed this bit from the article because of backlash. We, the audience, know that Ilsa is better than and so do they.

We know they're doing damage control, a lot was cut from the delayed Empire part two podcast. Somehow, the more they talk about it, it gets worse.

I know this movie is only part one and there might be more explanations for all of this in part two. But with what we've seen in this film, they fumbled her death so badly that the one thing that would make sense is that it is all a trick and she comes back in part two. There are many theories on that, but I'm not going into details or speculating on that here.

A testament to how badly they executed her death is that people literally can't believe they'd fail her character this badly. McQ who we all thought was a brilliant writer. McQ who wrote one of the best female characters we've seen in years only to throw her out as if she was garbage. No matter what happens in part two, one thing is for sure.

Ilsa Faust deserved better.

#It's not just her death we're mad about #It's how poorly they handled it #Ugh #Ilsa Faust deserved better #Ilsa Faust #Mission Impossible #Dead Reckoning #Deac reckoning: Part one #Dead reckoning spoilers #Christopher McQuarrie #Rebecca Ferguson

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syn4k · 1 month ago

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salt and the sea chapter 4: behind the scenes director's commentary

i cannot understate how much fucking trouble this chapter draft gave us while we were writing it. It took us a month to post c4 for a reason. This thing kicked our ass so hard that I'm writing a whole fucking post about it to complain about it.

here is a brief overview of some of the problems we had while writing this:

rampant continuity errors

in-universe justification of plot events

realized our characterization of tucker was waaay off, did some digging to try and figure out what he had going on, then realized that not only had we completely misjudged his motives, we had also WILDLY overestimated how emotionally competent he was.

like seriously we read him so bad it constitutes a literal crime

in the middle of writing the fic. Which was already published. So we had to do a full 180 on basically everything about this guy to keep his pov accurate AND find a way to justify it within the story as well.

it was, as one could expect, literal hell.

so our problem with characterizing ctucker was we went the normal rational route and assumed that his actions were due to some sort of trauma and that he was at least somewhat aware of what he was doing, like a smart person.

WRONG

this man is an ANNOYING STUBBORN SELFISH PETTY IDIOT ASSHOLE who does not give a shit about ANYTHING beyond himself.

we gave him way too much grace. we were too nice to him. the way ctucker operates is so absolutely foreign to us that it took us a full THREE MONTHS into writing this fic to even CONSIDER the possibility that he just Did Not Care. because thats Stupid and surely, we thought, nobody can be That Fucking Stupid.

we were very, very wrong.

the universe basically said "ok well congratulations you figured out that your characterization of this character is horribly wrong and now you have to fix it. You wrote a whole fucking chapter thats better yhan yhe previous 3 but oh no, what's this, you have to justify this sudden total 180 in thought process and emotions in-universe? Go fuck yourself. Literally die. I want you to hump a poison-ivy-covered oak tree, naked, then run through downtown screaming that you want to marry Elon Musk. It would hurt less."

we did figure it out eventually btw

but it sucked the whole time

hey, at least we got some funny screenshots out of it!

yeab

#apollo's tag #undescribed #keys' writing #s&ts

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rainbowsky · 1 year ago

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Hi, how do you know Jackie Chan is a part of LOCH? I’ve been trying to find as much info on this film as possible and I never came across anything mentioning Jackie Chan. Also this film is already a big budget film, which is also the reason why I feel Tsui Hark chose Xiao Zhan specifically because he’s number one in popularity and with immense popularity he comes with good acting so it was a win-win but although I want this film to be released internationally really badly especially my country, I still fear being disappointed. Would they really invest in an international release? and is there a way if fans could get their messages across to them asking for an international release? because i will honestly cry if xiao zhan’s first movie (during my time as his fan) is released and i as a die hard fan can’t even watch it on big screen!!

This is in reference to a previous post.

The full cast has not been officially announced yet, but it was all over the media at the time of GG was announced as Guo Jing. You can find articles mentioning it just by Googling. There were several big name actors mentioned in smaller supporting roles, and it actually caused a bit of controversy at the time among netizens (who, of course, always stress out over who can do justice to their favorite literary heroes).

Feng Shaofeng - Genghis Khan

Hui Yinghong - Li Ping

Jackie Chan - Hong Qigong

Official accounts haven't confirmed (or denied) these widespread rumors, but we will likely know a lot more soon. The film is slated to be released for Spring Festival, which is the second weekend in February. No doubt there will be some promotional materials, etc. coming out in the next couple of months.

As for whether it will be released abroad - I honestly don't get why fans are always hand-wringing over whether their films will be released internationally. I find that confusing as heck.

It is safe to assume that pretty much all of their movies will be released to international audiences. It would be odd for them not to appear outside China.

Keep in mind that - alongside non-Chinese speaking international audiences who take an interest in international films - there is a huge population of Chinese people living all over the world. In my region, for example, 20% of the population are Chinese Canadians. There is a demand outside of China, for Chinese films.

Legend of the Condor Heroes is one of the most popular novels in China, and is appreciated all over the world. It's an outstanding book. I urge everyone to read it (or enjoy the audiobook). I can't overstate how good it is.

GG is also very popular, and his international fame is growing. Films stand to make more money the more screens they're seen on. It's simple math.

This film WILL be seen outside of China. Any agonizing over whether it will is a waste of one's mental health. It's going to be a big release. It will be seen far and wide. It's will probably make a lot of money. It's got a good formula, a good director, etc.

And even if it doesn't come to some countries - as with all of their projects - it will eventually end up on streaming services. You will get a chance to see it.

Edit: as I said in the comments of this post, there will always be some countries where there really won't be legal options for viewing. That's just the unfortunate reality of the situation. In those cases, there is no shame in watching a pirated version. I feel that it is better to watch their projects, thereby being able to write a review and promote the project to other people, etc. than to not watch them at all.

As long as we are supporting the film financially if there is any option to do so at all. There have been people who have bought tickets for their films in regions that they are unable to travel to, just to support the film. People can also buy tickets for other fans who cannot otherwise afford to go.

There are also often official merchandise and things like that which can be purchased from anywhere in the world.

You can also contact your favorite local streaming services and request for those projects to be made available to you. The more fans who express an interest in their films, the more likelihood a streaming service will make an effort to obtain rights.

There is no guarantee, of course, but it's worth a try. I also encourage people to be patient, because it can take a while for a movie to make it onto streaming platforms. Just because it is available in some regions and not others doesn't mean it won't eventually make it on to yours.

As long as we are supporting to the best of our ability, that's all that anyone can do.

#xiao zhan #legend of the condor heroes #ask

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goat-guy-tm · 2 days ago

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Mouthwashing headcanons that I cannot get out of my head;

Organized by character cause I'm normal

Jimmy is at the very bottom so you can skip him if you want.

This bitch is long and took me like two hours to write I wanna lay down...

Curly:

Bisexual Trans man because honestly he has a bit of t-boy swag

For some reason I have convinced myself he's 37. IDK why.

Comes from a pretty big family. He's the second eldest of 8 kids, his older sister is technically only a half sister but still.

He has two moms and one abusive/dead beat dad. Idk I can't explain it I just feel it in my brain that he's got two moms.

He's a mama's boy but in like a good way, not a weaponized incompetence way.

He's technically a nepo baby. His grandfather on his bio-mom's side is a director/board member of Pony Express, thus why Jimmy constantly talks about him "getting his life handed to him on a silver platter". His grandfather actually had nothing to do with him getting the job, as he has a different last name and no one actually realized they were related for a WHILE. He is the reason Curly dreamed of being a space-crafy poilt though.

He smokes cigarettes often. When he gets stressed he smokes a lot more, but he's in denial that it's a problem. Jimmy got him into smoking in the first place, peer preassuring him into it. Jimmy now conviently always seems to have packs of cigarettes on him during hauls when Curly never brings them, specially for when Curly gets stressed. (Not in like a gay way, in like a manipulative way to keep him subconsciously needing Jimmy in some way)

He is surprisingly strict when it comes to "no fraternizing with subordinates". He likes to keep his work and personal life seperate, and especially to not allow any feelings to be developed for any of his crew mates.

His first name is Grant, he was named after his father and eventually grew to hate his first name because of how horrible his father was, but he keeps his first name because his mom likes it on him, it helps her connect better memories to that name instead of the horrible ones his father gave her.

Jimmy was his only friend for a while, which is why he is so die hard about wanting to believe Jimmy is a good guy, plus Jimmy manipulating him for so long to believe Jimmy was the victim of a lot of stuff.

He is a fucking mountain of a man when it comes to muscles. Bro is buff as fuck and scary when he wants to be.

He's been the captain of the Tuplar since he became a captain (roughly 11 years). That ship is his baby.

Anya:

She's omni, if you asked her to really identify her sexuality she would say it's complicated, but she just says she's bisexual.

I feel like she's in her early/mid 30's for some reason? Like 33 at the time of the game. I know realistically she could more so be like, 26-28 (assuming she tried getting into med school the SECOND she was graduating high school)

She's been part of the Tuplar's crew for roughly 4 years, she was transferred to them after getting the medical certification from Pony Express to be an on-board nurse. Before that she had worked with another crew for a while.

She also smokes cigarettes. Significantly less than Curly does, but she still does from time to time. She started after her 4th try into med school, where she then got extremely drunk to cope with failing again, and had drunkenly bought a pack of cigs. She eventually regretted it, but was also in such a low point mentally that she thought "why the hell not" and started smoking regularly. Eventually she smoked more when stressed, which was when she was studying or getting ready for an exam of some kind. Because of this her regular smoking went to her smoking a fuck ton before and after stressful events (mostly tests) because her body has subconsciously attached to that helping her study.

She is an only child. Her mother died when she was a teen, which eventually led to her and her father having an estranged relationship. After her mother's death, her father went into an almost debilitating depressive state, becoming an extreme workaholic and albeit unintentionally neglecting Anya during her teen years. Now-a-days they are doing much better and are trying to reconnect with each other. Her father adores her and becomes devastated when news of her death on the Tuplar eventually reached him.

While Anya is not shy in any way, she is commonly seen as so simply because she keeps to herself a lot.

She worries quite a lot about money since her family didn't make a lot in the first place, and her mother was a big financial gash on them, which led to pretty extreme finance anxiety.

She's actually a big horror fan, especially horror books and often gets a bit too into them and feels like she's being weird about them, but no, she just really likes them.

Her intrest in phycology is spurred on by this, as reading phycology books makes her start to wonder about villian's reasonings. Jimmy would have been an interesting case for her if he hadn't been who he was.

If asked about any of her interests she will start to excitingly info dump, only to get embarrassed and stop, and refusing to continue when told it's fine.

Caffeine addict. She gets ungodly amounts of extra esspresso in any coffee she drinks.

She would read Warrior Cats.

Daisuke:

Pansexual trans guy. You see that Hawaiian shirt? That's peak t-boy swag right there. Lost his mind when he learned Curly was trans too.

Most likely either 20 or 21, making him the baby of the crew. Swansea balks at him every time Daisuke mentions it cause he's the same age as Swansea's kids.

He is autistic, one of the biggest reasons he has trouble figuring out what he wants to do with his life as he physically is not capable of imagining what his life will be like a few months from the present.

He would have been a DeviantArt kid, and an Animal Jam kid.

He gave the whole crew fursonas within the first week of working there. He also gave them ponysonas, but then he threw away Jimmy's after hearing what he said about Polle.

I feel like he has an affinity for small bugs. He loves saving them from being stuck in rooms, and get actually really angry when someone kills one for no reason. He snapped at Jimmy once for smushing an ant that had somehow gotten onto the ship. Reasonably there was no way to save it but Daisuke was still pissed about it.

He has a pretty strained relationship with his mother, even though he is still actively trying to gain her approval. His dad is pretty removed from his life, his dad is there, but anytime Daisuke asks his dad to stand up for him or anything his dad just shrugs and tells him to just talk it out with his mom. His mom doesn't want to talk it out. That's why he tries to get Swansea's approval, and especially feels bad when he gets injured in the vents Swansea specifically told him not to touch. (His cousins are the ones to hold the funeral for him, his mother says she wishes he would have at least done something productive before dying like that. [she's half an asshole, half going through immense guilt])

He is an only child. He had always wanted to be a big brother, and had asked for a little sibling so many times but his parents kept refusing, eventually he stopped asking but he still wished he could have been an older brother.

He has a really weird addiction to root beer.

I can't explain it but I feel like he'd be a big SCP Foundation nerd.

Swansea:

CisHet ally. Everyone is scared he is homophobic when they first meet him, but he knew his kids were gay before they did.

He was a veteran. Ended up getting medically discharged which was one of the things leading him into his alcoholic days.

He has three kids; two daughters and one son.

He has been working on the Tuplar almost as long as Curly. He joined the original original crew about 5 years into Curly being captain.

If Curly wasn't the only one allowed to use the food synthesizer and if they had actual food on the ship he would have been cooking meals for the crew every night to feel like he was at home again.

He pretends to hate it, but his music taste is 90% white girl pop. He also listens to like metal and rock, but still.

A girl dad through and through. His daughters are the world to him. Extra why he was so pissed and passive aggressive with Jimmy after Anya told him what he did to her.

Had a punk 'phase' during his teens. Still punk in beliefs, just not apparencies.

He's one of those old Brexit geezer types.

He and Curly keep betting on football (soccer) whenever not on hauls. Spoiler; Curly keeps losing.

His family and Curly's are actually surprisingly close. Whenever their respective family members are off on hauls during the holidays the two families spend them together.

I like to imagine his wife's name is Ophelia. I can't explain why, I just feel like she has some ethereal real pretty name.

His wife and Curly's moms have girls nights every week. Eventually Anya got roped into them when the ladies learned of her (to Curly's dismay).

He won't admit it, but he acted like a dad even before Daisuke joined the crew. He found himself often looking out for Curly when he thought the younger wasn't taking care of himself.

He has hand made bracelets from all his kids in his dorm. He hides them to keep up the tough guy act.

Jimmy: (cw; mentions of obsession, codependency and referenced suicide)

He thought he was bisexual, but it actually is just a really bad obsession with Curly. Otherwise I chose not to think about his sexuality.

He is the same age as Curly, 37, but maybe a few months younger than him (which is another thing he holds against Curly for some reason).

He joined the Tuplar crew a few years before Anya did, but wasn't promoted to co-pilot until the year Anya joined the crew.

He unironically uses Reddit and 4chan

One of his only hobbies includes doxing kids online.

He is like, the worst kind of brony you could have the misfortune of meeting.

He is an orphan and has been since his pre-teen years. It's what left him with nothing and did horrible things to his mental perception of his life.

He met Curly when they were both about high school age. He instantly became attached to him and would get extremely jealous when Curly would seem to have any other friends beside him.

Because of this he became very manipulative to Curly, constantly playing the victim card and then acting like Curly not believing him meant Curly hated him. This got to Curly pretty bad, and is one of the only reasons they stayed friends for so long.

The only reason he got into weight lifting is because he knew Curly worked out regularly, but it never really entertained him so he barley did it.

He thought he held power over Curly, unbeknownst to him he had actually made himself quite co-dependent on him.

The only reason he started working for Pony Express was because Curly had. He became quite angry though when they were not originally put onto the same crew, and weren't until Curly was promoted to a captain and given his own ship.

This is when he started the "Curly gets whatever he wants and was handed his life" thought, trying to find any way to reason why Curly was promoted so young and fast but he wasn't.

Even with his obsession with Curly, he doesn't spend a lot of time with him outside of hauls. His feelings would filp flop between obsession and disgust towards him. It doesn't help that Curly's family doesn't like him anymore.

He calls Curly 'Grant' because he knows Curly hates it and only ever does it to piss him off and then call him an asshole for getting mad at him, cause they are supposed to be friends, aren't they?

In his mind, if he isn't in some way better than Curly then he is nothing.

It wouldn't be till before he takes his own life that he realizes Curly is his life and has been since they were teens, and that without Curly he felt like he was nothing.

#mouthwashing game #mouthwashing #jimmy mouthwashing #curly mouthwashing #anya mouthwashing #swansea mouthwashing #daisuke mouthwashing #mouthwashing hc #mouthwashing headcanon #tw jimmy #tw suicide #tw sui implied

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