#and the details like the characters personalities being shown off in the gifts they give and the way they wrap them

[sonknuxadow]

VERY important images

[raayllum]

She Must Pay the Price, or A Drop of Mercy :: A Rayla and Leola Meta

Quick:

You're a young elven girl, and you show mercy and compassion to a human that you definitely weren't supposed to. When it's found out, you're punished, with elves even calling for your execution (6x09, book 1 novelization). Your father does what he can, but there's only so much. You're put on trial. You're found guilty regardless of intent, and only by association. You die for this; you die for them. You're a star. A guiding light. There's even a Great Fall off a precipice (though only one of you hits the ground).

Your name is Leola, or Rayla.

You're the beginning and the end, respectively.

So let's talk about it.

Tests of Love

For years, I had wondered where Aaravos' assessment of "Those who fail tests of love are simple animals. They deserve to be motivated by fear" (2x09) came from, cause you don't drop in a line like that if it's not going somewhere. It's quite a statement and worldview, after all. Now, with Leola's trial, it seems we know.

We can see, then, perhaps that Leola's gift giving was the first test of love — are you willing to break the Natural Law, the Natural Order of things? — to help another? To show another a source of power in order to share, to be compassionate, and in Rayla's case, to be merciful (though we'll get more to that in a minute).

We also know that the love Leola had was powerful and all encompassing:

She didn't care to follow the order set in the stars. Though she was born an immortal being from the Heavens, she loved this world... and all its flaws. Her heart was warm and open.

And she befriended mortals. Animals, elves... and humans.

ETHARI: Who I love, where I love, what I love, are all specific. But to Runaan and those like your parents... love is rooted in all families, all creatures. Souls like that feel called to protect everyone as fiercely as those they hold close. (Bloodmoon Huntress)

Okay, so Leola and Rayla both have big compassionate hearts and befriend creatures from all over the place. So what? So do Callum, Ezran, Soren, and most of our other main good guy characters. Even Claudia to a degree (though she could work on not using magical creatures for spell parts).

Well, specifically, it's because of how they intersect currently more with anyone else on the concept of

Mercy

KOSMO: Daughter of the Moon, yours is a wondrous heart. In a moment of mercy, you sent ripples out into the ocean of time. Ripples that have not yet stilled. (6x05)

Rayla sparing Marcos, as noted in multiple interviews by the creators and by myself in previous metas, is ultimately the inciting incident / lynchpin of the entire series. Without it, there would've been no soulfang proposal or Ez running away to find the egg or any of the number of other elements that had to come together to make achieving peace possible.

While we still have details to discover regarding Aaravos' Fall and development of dark magic, we know that a lack of mercy was ultimately what sent him on his path of vengeance. Leola was not shown mercy, and while it seems there were already "flaws" for an imperfect world, things were (probably) better than they currently are in Xadia in a variety of ways. Then, to kick off the entire Saga, we have Rayla sparing Marcos in a soundtrack literally titled "Mercy" and have Kosmo, seasons and seasons later, spell out directly what a big deal this was for well, the ocean of time.

None of this is to say Rayla can't act out of revenge — she did ("when I first came here, I was on a mission for revenge") and she has ("but I became so obsessed with revenge"), much like Aaravos ("he isn't doing anything out of love, he's doing it for revenge") — but that her general compassion and love for others has always been stronger than her grief or rage, and that even when she had every social and personal reason to, she was and is fundamentally unable to hurt someone innocent.

Even when she's shamed or punished for it by herself or by others. RAYLA: The human looked up at me, and I saw the fear in his eyes. RUNAAN: Of course he was afraid, but you a job to do! (1x01)

EZRAN: Yeah, but then you saw he was scared, and you knew he was a person, just like you. RAYLA: That shouldn't have mattered. I had a job to do. (1x08)

The Cosmic Council — and to a degree, the Silvergrove — say that the reasonings or motivations, the intentions, behind Leola and Rayla's actions do not and should not matter when it comes out to doling 'Justice'. So Leola faces her justice, being literally killed in the one manner that can kill a Startouch elf, and so does Rayla, being metaphorically Ghosted / 'murdered' by her community, regardless.

Neither are enough to ultimately quell their light or their love/power, however.

A Star

RAYLA: That beautiful shining star you just pointed out? We call it Leola's Last Wish. (5x02)

So both Leola and Rayla are stars in season 6, literally and metaphorically respectively. Leola's is more self-explanatory, whereas Rayla's is mostly about the role she has in Callum's life as a guiding light and star. I don't think it's a coincidence, though, that just as Rayla placed Callum on his path of being a primal mage, though, that Leola did the same for humanity. I also don't think it's a coincidence that Callum's love for Rayla restores Callum's own light and agency amid Leola giving humanity the same through light and fire.

It happened long ago, when humans had only just learned to hold fire in their hands without burning. They nurtured their precious primal flames secretly—in the dark of night, beneath shadows and shrouds—as cultivating its glow drew the eyes and ire of monsters. Eventually, for the audacity of their fire, they were hunted, and—though they looked to the stars for salvation—the stars, too, looked down upon them with disdain. Humanity had been given something it was never meant to have. (TDP shorts, Ripples)

In this way, we see the manifestation of a repeating parallel of Rayla representing Leola, a gift giver of life, magic, light, unjustly punished/killed, and Callum representing humanity, looking to the kindest brightest star for guidance, magic, restoration, and salvation if he's just given the chance to grasp it. After all, presumably, Leola's last wish would have something to do with primal magic and humanity, and who represents that better than Callum, with two arcana under his belt and possibly more on the way? With that in mind, I want to return to another quote from earlier but with a different focus on

Ripples

Daughter of the Moon, yours is a wondrous heart. In a moment of mercy, you sent ripples out into the ocean of time. Ripples that have not yet stilled.

The wisest of the humans looked upon the water. His own reflection smiled back at him, and he dared to imagine what such power would feel like in his own hands, should he be allowed to hold it. Imagine, he thought, if I were more than what I am. With a trembling hand he touched the surface of the water. Ripples spread from his fingertips. [...] I hope the stars were watching. I hope they saw it: the moment their perfect reflections turned warped and ruined, churned to chaos by the touch of a single human hand. In this, the humans taught me another lesson. And so I touch the surface of the water. I watch the ripples spread.

Water in TDP is a strange beast, symbolically speaking. There are some more straight forward motifs (reflections, "don't try to control where the river [of life] goes, there's one thing you can know and control: yourself"). For Aaravos, it's connected to deep loss but also his own sense of patience in playing and winning his game, as illustrated above. For Rayla, it's linked to shame, self-reflection, bravery, and loss. Aaravos weeps and creates a sea upon losing Leola; Rayla says goodbye to her family by the lotus pond times three.

We don't know what water represents for Leola. Not distinctly, anyway. The best we can figure though, is that by following the through line of the Rayla and Leola parallels, that the ripples Leola wanted to send out or did send out — not the distortions caused by her father and his grief — are ones that Rayla received, and then continued.

Rayla has always been a foil to Aaravos, and this hasn't changed. She is the one who set Callum on the path initially of being a mage, which put him in Aaravos' machinations as prey; she retrieved his Key; and she's the reason Callum's done dark magic, twice. At the same time, much like the moon, Rayla carries Leola's light as much as she shoulders Aaravos' dark. She literally represents light in Callum's life, helps lead him through the darkness, and him being a primal mage and it's possible growth to other humans is the best possible thing that could've ever happened to Xadia.

Sol Regem says that "no one can save" Xadia or fix what is deeply broken. The Cosmic Council said that Leola had broken the Cosmic order and had to pay the price. Rayla has repeatedly been willing to pay the price for both hers and other's actions in hopes of making things right, of sparing others' pain. Sometimes to her detriment, but—if Rayla as Callum's one Truth could fix the darkness within him, if she's the lynchpin for breaking the Cycle, for bringing back Runaan and fixing her family's souls, in opposing and presenting mercy amid the Council's lack of mercy, in the face of Xadia's violence—

Then Rayla's act of mercy in 1x01, and potentially beyond in S7 with Callum, will be what fixes Xadia.

Leola's gift of magic is what 'broke' Xadia, and her execution is what literally did so, leading to the division of the continent. She wrongly paid the price in the absence of mercy and love. Rayla is therefore her thematic successor — welcomed this time as Light and Truth — as the carrier of Mercy and Love, and she will 'fix' Xadia through her ripples and dynamics. She will mend them back together. There will, at last, be no price to pay.

Misc. Thoughts / Predictions

One thing I was always curious about going forward into future seasons was the prospect of a 'trial' or reunification of the Silvergrove. It felt like a no-brainer the Silvergrove would have to change in order to reflect Runaan's character arc, much the way we see Katolis and the Sunfire elves change to better accommodate the new, more compassionate world order. Pre-S4 a trial felt a little strange as an idea, though post-S4 the parallels it could provide to the Lucia tribunal made more sense about why include either (or both).

However, Leola's trial seemed to hammer home the almost necessity (as this is still a prediction, after all, that may not happen) of Rayla and/or Runaan saying their peace to the Silvergrove leaders. This would be a great opportunity to provide a contrast to the Cosmic Council, reaffirming that Xadia is ultimately better than them because the Moonshadow elves and everyone else can change, and the Cosmic Council seemingly cannot or will not. But I guess we'll have to wait for S7 or beyond (#GiveUsTheSaga) to find out if this'll come to fruition or not.

I also wanted to touch on what we see with Leola ("I'm so scared!") and the repeated emphasis on "recognizing fear as a moment of empathy and personhood" and the horror that can come if you don't have that moment of recognition. This is something I've touched on before most notably as a striking difference between S1 Rayla and S5 Claudia, but I thought it was worth mentioning as S6 added to it specifically with Viren towards Soren and Lissa. This is another point in the "Rayla is an inversion of the Council's lack of mercy" column, as Leola's — a child's fear, and Aaravos willing to pay the price and take her place — earns her no mercy. Rayla, meanwhile, sees someone innocent that she has 'every right' to execute is afraid of her, and that strays her hand; it steadies her sword, and she spares him. Because if someone is afraid of you, it's worth asking yourself why, and what you might want to do instead.

Last but not least I wanted to talk about Leola's parallels to Callum and Ezran as well, since they are very much there (though yet not perhaps to the same extent).

Ezran has Leola's friendliness to animals and soft heart. He too is a child whose death is called for as a means of Justice, and he is granted mercy through Rayla and the discovery of the egg, able to live and grow and help usher in peace. He is, I think, what Leola might've been allowed to be if she'd lived in different times. Callum, meanwhile, carries the gift giving motif through his cube, staff, and tokens he both gives to (moon-phoenix bracelet) and receives (the moon opal necklace) from Rayla, and previous 'human-Leola' magic dynamic. Callum being able to break free fully from Aaravos' and dark magic's control in S7 and turn his eye instead to primal magic will be what helps bring true justice to Leola and hope for humanity / Xadia in righting the Cosmic Council's fundamental wrongdoing. Hopefully, anyway.

Conclusion

I hope you enjoyed this deep dive into some parallels and potential narrative goings-on between Leola and Rayla as characters. TDP loves its historical and ironic layers in TDP (Ez and the Orphan Queen, Viren's arc from S1 to S6) and I think this layered thematic dynamic between the two merciful young girls was a good, brilliant choice by the creative team. I'm excited to see where this thematic thread goes in the future and how it may continue to be woven into the story. As always, thank you for reading, and I'll see you in the next one.

[miraculouslbcnreactions]

Adrien Agreste and Why Motivation Matters

One of the most important things you can gift a character is a motivation that correlates to their intended role in the story. It's a big part of how they truly come alive. And if they have a motivation that doesn't correlate to their role? That can make them come across as a total ass!

A few days ago I got an ask about Lila. I ended my response with this:

I'm totally fine with complex, master-manipulator Lila, it's just hard to figure out the best way to make her work when we don't know anything about her backstory or motivation.

This got me thinking about motivation in general and how much it plays into the show's poor writing. I talked about Lila above, but I wanted to point out how much it's responsible for Adrien's issues, too.

Motivations are one of the main ways you create strong characters. You come up with the thing they want and then keep that in mind whenever you're writing them. Motivations can be very simple and straight forward (I want to get home) or extremely complex and nuanced (a person wanting to create a new government with a very detailed idea of what that means). A character can even have multiple motivations!

Unfortunately, all motivation are not created equal. There is such a thing as a bad motivation and I'm not talking ethics or morality here. I'm talking about picking motivations that match the character's intended role. For example, Gabriel's motivation is fine! It perfectly suits a villain. On the other hand, Adrien's motivation sucks because it makes him into a terrible hero.

Adrien's motivation as given in the show seems to be this: win the heart of my Lady. Later on, that motivation changes to: date Marinette and be the best boyfriend possible. And that's it. He has no other overarching motivations. Individual episodes might give him a one-off motivation to jazz things up for a bit, but generally speaking, romance is all he cares about. It's why we get baffling moments like this one from Dark Cupid:

Cat Noir: Falling for me already, my lady? (pulls Ladybug down next to him) I need to talk to you. Ladybug: It’s gotta wait. Dark Cupi- Cat Noir: (hushes her) I swore to myself that I'd tell you as soon as I saw you. Ladybug, I-I... Look out! (Cat Noir spins around to shield Ladybug, and is struck by one of Dark Cupid's arrows.)

Or this one from Oblivio:

Nadja:(from a helicopter) Looks like Ladybug and Cat Noir are struggling today. (Ladybug is rapidly spinning her yo-yo to deflect Oblivio's blasts while Cat Noir sits down casually.) Ladybug: And stop calling us a couple!

These are just two out of many examples I can pull from, but they highlight a reoccurring issue: Adrien often doesn't take akumas seriously. He's been shown to happily prioritize flirting over fighting and, as a result, he's put himself, his Lady love, and all of Paris in danger.

It also gives us things like Kuro Neko and Kwami's Choice. Episodes where he quit without any concern for protecting his loved ones or even just protecting the freedom that comes with being Chat Noir, things that he only really cares about in the realms of fanfic. As far as the show is concerned, Adrien doesn't care about his loved ones or his freedom. His only constant driving force is his current crush.

Don't get me wrong, he's going to react if he sees Nino in danger or if his father bans him from going to a party! But in terms of what generally guides Adrien's actions? His father, Nathalie, Nino, Chloe, and Alya are out of sight, out of mind. And being able to leave the house? Well, who cares about that? He'll happily sacrifice freedom for a date. Outside of Origins, I think we only ever see him sneak out or otherwise break the rules so he can have a date.

You'll note that Marinette doesn't really have this problem*. While dating Adrien is a big motivation for her, she has a second motivation: protecting Paris. Sometimes those motivations clash, leading her to make poor choices, but that story never treats this as a good thing the way it does Chat Noir's endless flirting. Instead, Marinette's crush is treated as a character flaw or an interesting source of conflict like Volpina threatening to kill Adrien, making Ladybug having to chose between her two main motivations: love and duty.

This is why I've had several posts where I offhandedly mentioned Adrien needing a second motivation. It's also why I've mentioned that Gabriel should have been claiming that akumas were the main reason that Adrien was getting locked up because that's a really simple way to give Adrien personal stakes in the fight. Are those stakes selfish? Sure, but that's okay because it's a selfish motivation that doesn't go against being a hero. If Marinette was only being Ladybug for the sake of her parents, her motivation would be selfish, but still suited to a hero because it doesn't stop her from being heroic. It actually drives her to be heroic. As written, Adrien's motivations do the opposite. Whenever Ladybug or Marinette are seemingly safe, he will do very unheroic things because romance is his only main motivation and that's a problem. To make him work in his intended role, he needs to match Marinette and have (or discover) a motivation that suits a hero.

*To be extra clear and hopefully save myself a salty ask or two, I'm NOT saying that Marinette never does questionable things in the name of romance, she absolutely does. I'm saying that it's extremely rare for her romantic motivation to get in the way of keeping Paris safe because keeping Paris safe is her second motivation and it overrides the romantic one most of the time. Once an akuma is on the loose, she's usually all business. It's one of the reasons Passion (the episode where Nathalie becomes Safari) is so awkward. They did a full role reversal for Marinette and Adrien and it really doesn't work on Marinette's end because it feels out of character for Marinette to ignore the akuma threat in favor of flirting. She never did that for Adrien or Luka or even Catwalker. The worse we ever saw was a crush distracting her from making the right call, but even then, she was always at least trying to protect Paris. Compare Desperada (Viperion's debuted) to Passion and you'll see what I mean.

[homestuckreplay]

Sburb Cat Necromancy DLC Unlocked

(page 441-442)

8/5/2009 wheel spin: Parent Bad :( verdict: INCORRECT

This was only a two page sequence but a LOT happened, so I gotta get into it.

Rose's house covered in snow is a BEAUTIFUL panel, lots of detail for such a low contrast color scheme. I am convinced that half the reason for Hussie making Rose live in a house Like That was so they could draw cool art of the house, and I'm not complaining. It's August and I'm sweating and looking at this gif still makes me feel like frosty nights and holidays are on the way.

WE GOT A ROSE AND GG CONVERSATION. FINALLY THE SET IS COMPLETE. I guess I don't need to write a sequel to this now, and I was laughably wrong about a couple of things - I had Rose giving GG information on Sburb when in fact it's the other way around, and I had Rose being a lot more skeptical of GG's mysterious knowledge than she actually is. [But I was totally right about them talking about pets and about GG mentioning that they're not as good at games as John and Dave, so I'll take a C on this.]

Some key facts we learn from the real Rose-GG Pesterlog: Rose's birthday is in winter, she lives in a place where it snows (possibly New England), John is the person who got her into knitting (just a few months ago), and she was knitting something for him as a gift, but didn't finish in time (the contents of the purple box on p.218). This is so cute. It felt when we met her like knitting was the most 'normal' of Rose's hobbies, and this explains why. It also shows that John knows her really well, given that he knew she'd enjoy it, despite it being nothing like her other interests. Rose has clearly thrown herself into it, completing the princess doll reconstruction, the laptop cozy, and assorted clothing items in just a few months, but she still hasn't finished John's present, probably because she struggles more when there's 'strong sentimental value' to her creation.

I think Rose is the best at banter of all four characters. Dave is not good at banter, he's responding to his own brain more than to his conversation partner sometimes, but Rose has shown the ability to bounce off all three of the others in a witty back and forth (see p.187 and 333), which is cool of her. And Rose and GG are both associated with being, honestly, smartass know-it-alls who at least believe they have more knowledge than others, although they do this in very different ways, so it makes sense they would try to outwit each other.

But it's really hard to get a read on how much they like each other. GG seems so nice and earnest even when they say things like 'you see not everybody always means the opposite of what they say the way you and dave always do' which from most people would be a jab but here feels like a patient explanation. Yet they didn't get Rose a birthday present despite working on one for John for 'years', and their 'tip' for Rose, while interesting, is explicitly something she should 'talk to john and dave about' instead of an offer for Rose and GG to do something together.

On the other hand, Rose has some expectation of a gift, and clearly puts value in GG's esoteric knowledge, given that she's far more open to believing a scientifically improbable prediction when it comes from GG. It might be that they both see the relationship differently - GG doesn't consider Rose a close friend but is still very nice to her because of their general demeanor and people skills, while Rose who is only nice to a few people interprets GG's kindness as the two of them being closer than they really are.

So, despite asking 'whats sburb??' on p.169, GG was the person who tipped Rose off to its release. This clears up some stuff on Rose's end, but only adds more suspicion and question marks to GG's whole deal. With Rose, it clears up why she was so fixated on sprite prototyping, what she meant on p.440 about this whole mess being Jaspers' fault - as he was Rose's first motivation to play Sburb - and her focus on necromancy, as this concept was specifically how the game was introduced to her. To be fair, 'childhood cat necromancy' fits her whole deal a lot more than 'immersive building simulator' does, and I like the idea that Rose - and by extension, John and Dave - got into Sburb through a secondary mechanic and not through the game's main purpose. It really makes it feel like they all stumbled backwards into this story.

It also explains why Rose is playing this game inside the mausoleum, right where Jaspers' corpse is. If she's planning to prototype him with a sprite, as the text is strongly suggesting, it makes sense to keep him by her side. 'I would describe my feelings toward the animal as lukewarm.' you absolute liar, you are braving a forest fire for the chance to see this cat again you big softie.

[fandomsandassortedgoods]

i need your thoughts on ts5 STAT, i like your account and posts on prideyear so id love to here your opinions on the current info we have atm.

Oh well I’m flattered asghgdhj I had some thoughts saved I was gonna post sometime, so I’ll finish it off and put it here.

Guess I'm one of the few people that don't find toys vs electronics an inherently cringe premise, I trust Pixar enough not to have the message just be IPAD BAD (though given Wall-E maybe I shouldn’t lmao), there are legitimate issues concerning children and screen use that can be explored, and how that affects how kids play with actual toys is interesting to me.

My issue is more with the time period. Were "tablet kids” even a big thing by like 2007-2009 (giving a range here on the years TS3-4 seem to take place in)? Bonnie could be older (though she doesn't look it), but even then that seems early for kids with tablets to be a major thing yet. It just feels like too modern an issue for what should be just before the 2010s. But maybe that's just drawing from my experience and tablet kids were a problem by then?

Also a bunch of defective Buzzes is... potentially interesting in concept, but by now I feel the "delusional Buzz" schtick has gotten very, very tired. It's fine to repurpose ideas that got left on the cutting room floor, but again? Really? You can't even use the excuse of "well every movie has a delusional Buzz moment so this one must have too" because there was no delusional Buzz in 4. The concept worked in 1 because well that was the plot of the movie and wasn’t done before. In 2 it worked because it a) was a funny callback to the first movie that played on the humour of how Buzz used to be compared to how he was now and b) didn't interfere with the main story so much, as in, didn't bloat up the story with unnecessary detail or ruin the more emotional scenes. In 3, it worked because it was once again a subversion on the concept: while delusional Buzz was played for laughs before, here we are shown a darker side to it, with someone being able to turn your friend against you just like that and losing yourself with the flip of a switch (ofc it still had some laughs because it's Pixar, but ykwim).

In 5, what will the fresh twist be? I really can't tell. It feels like they've done what they can with the concept and they should just let it go now like they did in 4. How many times can the characters say “not again” before the audience is thinking the same thing?

As for showing Woody back with the gang and the lack of a Bo Peep mention of all, that’s probably the most interesting part for me personally. Bonnie doesn’t seem much older, if that’s who’s under the sheet in that picture—how much time has passed since the ending of 4? How long are Bonnie’s remaining toys separated from Woody before he returns? How do they meet up again? That was a travelling fair, it’s unlikely they would be seeing each other again any time soon. Did Woody/the toys deliberately seek each other out, or is this a happy coincidence? Are they working together towards a common goal and that’s it, or will Woody be returning to Bonnie’s room for good? I’ve got a lot of questions here.

If it isn’t Bonnie under the blanket, that drastically changes things. Is this set decades ahead with a grown-up Bonnie’s kid? Or perhaps in this future, Bonnie returned her toys to Andy, and this is Andy’s child instead? (Though the presence of Forky calls that into question, unless she just threw him in as a gift because she doesn’t gaf about this spork anymore lmao). If it’s Bonnie’s kid and we know for a fact that Andy will be in the movie again, what if Bonnie’s kid befriends Andy’s kid, and that’s how his old toys eventually find their way back to him (I feel Bonnie would at least offer Andy the toys back first, but who knows)? At any rate, I’m putting heavy money on the ending being the toys returning to Andy and being passed down to his children, maybe with this new kid imitating the opening of 1 as he plays with Woody just like Andy did.

I’ve joked before about 5 opening with 4 just being a dream and they retcon the whole movie away, but these new details make that reality seem a little less insane lmao

and okay but the REAL question is: what does the 6+ hour ts4 reviewer think about all this?

[sybill--trelawney]

constellations drawn in notebooks. smell before the rain. handwritten letters. fuzzy socks in winter. wishing on every star. always offering a helping hand. reading horoscopes. writing in dream journals. gel pens. twirling around until dizzy. messy flat.

DETAILS. 

name: sybill cassandra trelawney. meaning: prophetess and oracle. will help tap into their inner magic. nickname: sybbie. syb. birthday: february 23rd. pisces. age: twenty-two.  pronouns: she + her. sexuality: romantic asexual. bisexual. siblings: none. parents: benjamin trelawney (father, deceased). iris trelawney nèe fox (mother). other family: anne fox (maternal grandmother). cassandra trelawney (great-great-grandmother, deceased). languages: english.  current residence: london. occupation: flourish & blott's. born: cornwall, england.

WIZARD FUN.

affiliation: neutral.  blood status: half-blood. house: gryffindor. animagus? none. pet: bengal cat, eeyore. species: witch. patronus: dapple gray mare. boggart: her father’s car crash. amortentia scent: sea salt air, stardust, animal hair, grass. wand type: willow, unicorn hair, 10 ⅛ inches.

APPEARANCE. 

height: 5'2" hair color: dark brown. eye color: brown. hair style: thick, straight and has character. fashion style: prep school + nerdy chic.

PERSONALITY.

positive traits: + whimsical + open-minded + hopeful negative traits: - too trustful - flighty - frazzled

theme song: wildflowers by tom petty.

BIO.

the stars aligned in cornwall, england when magical father, benjamin and muggle mother, iris, welcomed sybill, forming the three musketeers. the family was tight knit and supportive of one another. she and her father were particularly close, a glorified daddy’s girl. iris loved seeing the two of them grow close as she had never had a father figure of her own.

sybill was strongly encouraged her to explore her abilities. it wasn't since her great-great-grandmother, cassandra, that anyone had shown signs of having visions and being a seer. they had always told her that the truth laid within her and facts are what the world saw, both of which she needed to believe in. it was a hard concept for her to grasp due to the fact that she lived in her own head, but sybill listened. she would go to work with benjamin at the cornwall library and read books on books learning all she could about the muggle world. there she was, teaching herself before ever going to school. she longed to learn and her parents nurtured her desire. but the one day she didn’t go to the library, tragedy hit.

sybill was nine years old. sybill had her first vision. benjamin died. sybill stood still, her voice dropped octaves, and she said her benjamin wasn’t coming home. she didn’t remember saying anything but she could recall an empty feeling. a blank feeling came over her and like something had been ripped from her chest. once she came to, she was ice cold and shivering. her vision didn’t show her what exactly happened. all she knew is he was there and then BAM. no more. his earthly presence was gone. this vision, her first, terrified her. she didn’t want this gift if it was going to show her things like that. for a brief moment, sybill actually had the thought that if he died, she should have died with him. he was her rock and she, his. her only way to understand death was through her first vision. iris stood up to the plate, not to replace her father but to be a strong parent. she didn’t know how to help foster her daughter’s gift, but told sybill that her father would be proud of her for continuing the line in their family. he wouldn’t want her to give up. -- this stuck with sybill because she knew her mother was right. she fought to never give it up in her father’s name: trelawney.

when sybill’s letter from hogwarts came it was bittersweet. it was something she had been waiting for since she could breathe but her father wasn’t there to hug in celebration and to see her off. at king’s cross iris held her still tiny sybill just a little more and sniffled, slipping something into the young girl’s bag. “you almost forgot this.” it was the copy of winnie the pooh benjamin had given to sybill as a gift, one of her prized possessions. she reached out and hugged iris a little tighter with tears in her eyes. the time had come to get on the train for the first time, get on the boats and enter the dining hall for the first time. and, finally, to be sorted.

it was no surprise that the self-educating sybill was sorted into ravenclaw, where the mind was most valued -- and benjamin’s old stomping grounds. she sat at the table with her back straight, head held high, smile on her face and with pride. she was where she was supposed to be. the sorting felt like it was a sign that she could, indeed, live in both the worlds her parents described and she did so to the best of her abilities. later that night she wrote an owl home to her mother to tell her how she felt that things were going to be fantastic, that it felt right and that she loved her. this would become a routine each night before bed.

sybill loved being at hogwarts though she did have trouble fitting in. she wasn’t entirely shocked by that. she always knew she was different, but not that different. It wasn’t easy to make friends, but she saw the best in people, always spoke up and never let a sad face be alone. she knew sadness and didn’t want that for another soul, no matter the circumstance. however, because of her desire to fit in, she did something questionable her fifth year. the biggest thing she was ashamed of. 

the other students knew she was highly adept in divination and was a seer; it was something she was proud of and didn’t see a reason to hide it. there was this first person to come to her and asked what she saw in their future. sybill to seize up and had to make a quick decision. yes or no. she chose yes. after that one person, word got around and people came to sybill as though they’d been friends for years. after some time, she had to begin lying. she couldn’t read everyone’s cards or tea leaves and she certainly wasn’t having visions for anyone. over that summer she made the decision that she wasn’t going to do it anymore. it was against her moral code. she was livid with herself that she did it in the first place, all to get attention. after telling people no it was no surprise that those people drifted away as quickly as they came. it broke sybill’s heart but deep down she knew why they’d been there in the first place -- and it wasn’t for her. from then on out, sybill’s compass was where she followed.

the years passed and sybill began growing into a young woman, she looked around her and saw that fellow students were seriously dating and some were even getting betrothed -- already. she couldn’t believe it. all sybill wanted was to continue learning, cultivate her arts of divination, astronomy and herbology. she wanted to discover where she would go with her talents. she wanted to keep learning, to know everything about everything. one field of study wouldn’t be enough for her, leaving her no time for romance -- if anyone even wanted something romantic with her. either way, she was preoccupied. also either way, friendships were the relationships she yearned to see thrive. that’s what she told herself anyway.

as the war comes closer to home, she tries to maintain a neutral stance but it’s hard because she’s sybill. she always sticks out because of how she carries herself; head in the clouds and without a care in the world with only one life to live. if her father’s death taught her anything, it was to live each day as though it was the last. he wouldn’t want her wasting it on the chance that something could happen because someday it will, so why fear living? she wasn’t going to live in fear. and she wasn’t going to live in anger or bitterness. her heart was pure. too pure to pick a side in a war that shouldn’t exist. so she wakes up, puts on her dresses, brushes her hair and teeth then sets off for a day full of what? she doesn’t know but is excited to find out.

LINKS.

ABOUT | MIRROR | INSPO | AESTHETICS | TAGS | CONNECTIONS

[brw]

wanda for the ask game!

one aspect about them i love - I love a lot of things about Wanda but I guess one of the things I really like is how real she feels from having so many different interests and talents. like having so many languages she not only speaks but is shown to speak like the brief moment where she, monica and janet speak french together, and her childhood interest in acting, being a vegetarian, etc, she just has a lot of little details about her life more than some other characters that really makes her feel fleshed out and i really appreciate it about her!

one aspect i wish more people understood about them - wanda's relationship with magneto, lorna, and even pietro is very complex and i worry a lot of the time fandom tends to roll over that complexity for that magnetfam fanon people tend to love. i also don't know where the "wanda is magneto's favourite" thing comes from because while he certainly holds her in higher regard than pietro, i still think he fundamentally misunderstands her in a lot of ways and there is a certain amount of trauma he's caused her that will always make the "daddy daughter" relationship leah williams seems to think they have infeasible, at least to me. it doesn't mean they don't care for each other but idk, i think it's important to allow relationships to be complicated!

one (or more) headcanon(s) i have about this character - i think she has a number of succulents she takes care of but she keeps forgetting to keep care of them or they keep getting damaged and she keeps just using magic to keep them alive because she feels a little guilty over not being able to keep a cactus alive. they were probably gifts from bruce. speaking of i like to imagine she and bruce being relatively close outside of avenging and she's one of the first people he'll make contact with after going off the grid, aside from like, rick and amadeus first obviously

one character i love seeing them interact with - her and janet... they're the main avengers women for a very long time n yet a dynamic of theirs isn't often expanded on and i really wish more people saw the potential! they're opposites in a lot of ways but not to the same degree that wanda and carol are kind of opposites. i think wanda and janet learn a lot from one another that they both appreciate. i think early days wanda when she's basically a teenager on a superhero team looks up to janet a little, i think that would be cute.

one character i wish they would interact with/interact with more - her and mantis haven't interacted in FOREVER n i miss them. they're catty friends i want to see them serve cunt together again as they deserve. never thought i'd say this but steve englehart please make your return i know he would give me the mantis and wanda brunch dates i so desperately yearn for. let mantis leave the guardians for a bit and chill with the avengers and wanda. they've both had to make big strides in personal development and i think seeing them interact after that personal growth would be really interesting.

one (or more) headcanon(s) i have that involve them and one other character - i think vision was doing so much of the cooking while they were married that she's really out of practise because she never really picked it up again after the annulment and is too embarrassed to admit she isn't sure how to cook anymore.

Give me a character and I will give you my thoughts on...

[jessamine-rose]

◈ Housecat — Author’s Note ◈

ଘ(˶╹̆ ▿╹̆˵)੭່ﾟ Read Housecat here!!

(づ๑•ᴗ•๑)づ Read Alea Iacta Est here!!

Sndksnsajaja thank you so much to everyone who read my work!! Your feedback means the world to me and I hope you all suffered from enjoyed my yandere version of the Regrator

This post is just me sharing my Yandere! Pantalone headcanons, my characterization of his darling, the creative details in both fics, and bonus content from the rough drafts. I hope you all don’t mind this behind-the-scenes look into my work :>

“Your entire life has been a gilded cage. The gods refuse to grant your greatest wish, and so you have resigned yourself to the will of destiny. But what happens when the red string of fate is severed and replaced with the silver chains of the Regrator?” (AO3 Summary)

⬩Introduction⬩

♡ First of all, I must give credit to @bye-bye-sunbird and @ddarker-dreams for inspiring me with these posts from their blogs!! I rlly liked the idea of Pantalone pursuing a darling who grew up with everything he wanted but couldn’t have. By claiming her, he achieves what was previously unattainable to him and gains control over the divine ψ(｀∇´)ψ

♡ I was originally going to write a single fic from the darling’s perspective, but the word count for i. scarlet quartz convinced me to split the story into two fics. Which, in turn, enabled me to incorporate Pantalone’s POV and more facets of his character!! While Housecat focuses on his charming manipulative side, Alea Iacta Est reveals the full extent of his ambition and cruelty :>

♡ Before I continue rambling, I want to say a big thank you again to @diodellet for another peer review!! Aside from providing feedback, she motivated me with her brainrot <3

⬩Pantalone⬩

♡ My version of Pantalone is a possessive and manipulative yandere. He likes to refer to his darling by “my [nickname]” and dress her up in his choice of clothing and jewelry. He is extremely cruel and ambitious in pursuit of his desires, so he will stop at nothing to own his Kitty darling completely.

♡ Wealth and authority aside, he mainly utilizes his intelligence, social skills, and friendly facade to manipulate how others perceive him. In taking note of his target’s wants and weaknesses, he presents himself as someone who can fulfill those wishes.

♡ This is the reason why Pantalone gives Kitty quality time and words of affirmation more often than material gifts. He knows that she wants something which wealth and prestige cannot buy, so he adjusts his love languages accordingly. He also consistently includes her in conversations, stands up for her, and makes time for her unlike Kitty’s other relationships.

♡ Given his character design and backstory, I think Pantalone indulges in his newfound wealth but remains mentally affected by poverty. The easiest way to set him off is to express ingratitude towards his luxurious gifts as shown in ii. fool’s gold. I wanted to depict his wealth as “different” from that of high society, in the sense that his extravagance is only limited to his preferences. He doesn’t follow trends or feel the need to prove himself to aristocracy, because he is already confident and superior in terms of authoritative power.

♡ Askdnkdendkw I hope you all liked his soft moments in vi. noctilucous jade and vi. diabolic waltz. I hc that he dislikes being seen without his material riches or “perfect” appearance, so when he is forced to be genuine and vulnerable around his darling?? It was a nice break from his deception and cruelty (ෆ˙ᵕ˙ෆ)

⬩Kitty Darling⬩

♡ Once again, in order to feed my love for docile darlings and twisted happy endings, I put myself through the pain of giving Darling her own detailed personality and backstory. To start, I made her a cat-hybrid for the housecat/ stray cat theme and because it was cute to write about her feline features. That is all  ^•ﻌ•^

♡ Kitty grew up with the privileges of high society, but it is that same upbringing which makes her lonely, insecure, codependent, and resigned to her fate. I chose fashion and dance as her aristocratic interests, since they align with her desire for attention and participation. Given her internal conflict, it is inevitable that she falls for Pantalone before his proposal.

♡ My own name and appearance for Kitty <3

⬩Other Characters⬩

♡ 赖 Lài family – Hahaha so here is the source of Darling’s issues!! Because of work and favoritism, she grew up ignored and babied by her parents. They did the bare minimum in raising her and only recognized her potential as a link to other important families. As a result, her sister also looks down on Kitty and is bitter about her lack of productivity. Their surname ironically means “depend on; trust in; rely on."

♡ Chairman 金 Jin – I wrote him to be someone whom Pantalone would view as a worthy challenge given their opposite upbringings. Symbolism-wise, his surname means “gold” to contrast with Pantalone’s silver accessories. His Dendro Vision foreshadows how his downfall is caused by his association to Kitty (Pyro Vision).

♡ Kitty’s brother and friends – These characters do care about her, but they can’t prioritize Kitty over their own responsibilities. This enables Pantalone to take full advantage over her loneliness and self-esteem, because he is the only person who actively seeks her company and sets aside his work for her.

⬩Literary Motifs⬩

♡ Housecat/ stray cat – At this point, the parallels don’t need to be explained. Kitty is the housecat, a pampered child who doesn’t know any practical skills beyond what is expected of her in high society. On the other hand, Pantalone is the stray cat whose destitute past made him cunning and self-sufficient.

♡ Red string of fate – Given his view of the gods, Pantalone probably scoffs at beliefs pertaining to destined/ forbidden love. Even if his darling or destiny refuses him, he will get what he wants through his own ambition. I'm also simply fond of that motif :>

♡ Fire – Sooo Kitty’s Pyro Vision was chosen to represent her codependence on others. Her Vision is her only source of self-esteem, being the only object which she was able to attain on her own. Alas, its warmth and light cannot compare to what Pantalone provides for her~ On that note, I’ll point out a narrative detail repeated in i. scarlet quartz, v. shivada jade, and v. the die is cast:: When Pantalone opens the door, he brings “warm light” into Kitty’s dark world.

♡ Love and contracts – Yeahh so Pantalone and Kitty are both cynical towards the concept of love. Similar to the former, Kitty views love as a give-and-take contract and refuses to use that word. So her “I love you” in the ending marks her complete descent into Stockholm Syndrome </3

⬩Chapter Titles⬩

♡ Jewels – For the most part, I referred to Genshin lore and irl symbolism. The jewels chosen with the most consideration were Smaragdus Jadeite, Shivada Jade, and Electro Crystal due to their lore, symbolism, and function respectively.

♡ Figures of speech – I didn’t know what else to use for Pantalone’s section dividers, so I just name-dropped a bunch of motifs or phrases lol. The last title vi. diabolic waltz is the title of the Kuroshitsuji ost which I described as the orchestral music for the dance scenes.

⬩Deleted Scenes⬩

♡ Fun fact, Kitty’s old life used to be angstier!! Originally, the distance with her friends was because Yinji was Chairman Lai’s mistress. (Cue a more dramatic reveal during the wedding) I scrapped that idea for the “too busy to hang out” tension in order to put more focus on Pantalone and worsen Kitty’s anxieties over being “more of a pet than a wife.”

♡ Pantalone adopts the stray cat from Yujing Terrace. I didn’t find the time to write that, sadly, plus I didn’t want to risk a “Pantalone dislikes cats” from Genshin canon lol. But yeahhh for now, the cat currently lives a comfortable life in the Regrator’s Liyue estate.

♡ I entertained the thought of writing a crossover with my Yandere! Capitano fic Herbarium, but I scrapped that idea because it didn’t contribute much to the story. Additionally, an interaction between Kitty and Damsel felt forced, given their conflicting personalities and the latter’s asocial nature.

⬩My Favorite Scenes⬩

First Kiss, Wedding Night, and “Stress Relief”

♡ Ansksnajaajahw I DIED writing those scenes. Compared to Capitano’s chivalry and comfort in Herbarium, Pantalone is more greedy and passionate with his physical affection. He strikes me as the type to take pride in tainting and overwhelming his darling during intimacy~ Honestly, I was just rlly thirsty for him and I think it shows in the sexual tension throughout Housecat  (〃▽〃)

Aftercare Scene ft. Hand-holding

♡ I’m quite happy with this scene!! I wanted to cool down from the wedding night with fluff aaand it became a rare glimpse into Pantalone’s vulnerable side. Yes, it was necessary for me to add that final dash of dark spice~ That bitey ending was inspired by a scene from the manga “The Villainess and the Demon Knight.”

Pantalone Says No to Baby Trapping

♡ Honestly, this scene was quite self-indulgent. Aside from the Fatui’s ongoing mission, I tried to rationalize my Pantalone’s “I don’t want kids yet” speech with the fact that Kitty actually wants children due to her lack of wifely responsibilities. Hopefully, the scene played out well?? I was afraid that it would turn off some readers, but I hope it provided some dark wholesomeness and reverse-psychology-esque manipulation. And hahaha Pantalone’s greedy last line—

Diabolic Waltz: Reprise

♡ *sobs* Pantalone being vulnerable with his darling again……realizing that she has truly given herself up to him……comfortable enough to let his hair down and have fun dancing, because there is no crowd of partygoers to judge them…….just the stars watching them……Pantalone allowing himself to be genuine and to say “I love you” for realsies skdwkfwewnkww

♡ But yeahhh I’m rlly happy with how I ended the fic. Aside from the last waltz being a direct contrast to the beginning of Housecat, I wanted to show how Kitty isn’t the only one who is acting “differently” in this scene. I just wanted to see Pantalone all happy and victorious. And so they lived happily ever after ₍՞◌′ᵕ‵ू◌₎♡

⬩Pantalone x Kitty Playlist⬩

Songs which motivated me throughout the writing process. Istg why are these so perfect for Pantalone and Kitty’s story  ˭̡̞(◞˃ᆺ˂)◞

♡ Diabolic Waltz — Kuroshitsuji ost

♡ Tricologe by Niru Kajitsu ft. flower

♡ il by Anna Evans golden folks

♡ Gensou no Kyrie — Dance with Devils song

♡ The Slightly Chipped Full Moon — Kuroshitsuji II ost cover by Lollia

♡

Aajsndjedj but yeahh that’s all for the twisted tale of the Regrator and his darling!! I was concerned about cramming too many ideas into this fic, but aahh I rlly wanted to exhaust all of my brainrot. And so we ended up with 15.8k words of my blood and tears~

I hope that more readers will enjoy Housecat and Alea Iacta Est. Do share your reactions and feedback with me—it truly warms my heart when you compliment my work!! Same goes for brainrot bc your keysmashes and suffering are a delight to read ლ(｀∀´ლ)

[deripmaver]

laurent is a good person - book 1 meta

one of the most amazing things about captive prince is how the reveals in book 3 recontextualize all of the scenes leading up to them, including about laurent himself. in book one, all we see is damen pov as he’s being abused and humiliated by this supposedly spoiled, vile ice prince. when the regent comes to damen and subtly (and not so subtly) insults laurent, calling him unfit to rule - well, why would he think anything different? laurent has insulted him, had him whipped within an inch of his life, and even attempted to (and later successfully lmfao) have him raped while drugged out of his mind. 

after book 3 we can reread most if not all of book 1 as a very traumatized boy who has finally been confronted with the man who killed his brother, leaving him alone with his abusive uncle, and who he clearly has made into a complete monster in his own mind. damen of course sees him as a complete bitch, but there’s textual/subtextual evidence that laurent is well liked, and that his behavior during book 1 was actually pretty out of character for him. i’d like to provide some examples of that now!!!!

“Laurent had stopped dead the moment he had seen Damen, his face turning white as though in reaction to a slap, or an insult. Damen’s view, half-truncated by the short chain at this neck, had been enough to see that. But Laurent’s expression had shuttered quickly.” Captive Prince, Chapter One

i couldn’t resist adding this one in hehe. laurent recognizes damen!! he’s come down, knowing his uncle has devised another truly horrendous and triggering “gift” and that he’ll lose support if he calls it our for what it truly is, only to find out that it’s fucking damianos of akielos sent to him as a sex slave. a jab at laurent’s trauma about auguste and also a jab at laurent’s frigid sexuality - which ofc is completely the regent’s fault. fuck that guy so much lmfao 

“‘It’s so rare to see you at these entertainments, Your Highness,’ said Vannes.” Captive Prince, Chapter Two.

this is right before the fight between govart and damen in the ring, of course. damen sees laurent as depraved and vile as the sexual sadism on display by the veretian court, and considers him to be a willing purveyor of it. this is wrong, of course, as said by vannes here. laurent has only shown up because he wants to humiliate damen lmfao.

“He did remember being supported by two of the guards, here, in this room, while Radel stared athis back in horror. ‘The Prince really . . . did this.’ ‘Who else?’ Damen said. Radel had stepped forward, and slapped Damen across the face; it was a hard slap, and the man wore three rings on each finger. ‘What did you do to him?’ Radel demanded.” Captive Prince, Chapter Four

this scene, to me, was the most telling lmfao. it’s right after damen is whipped. you could argue that radel is just a servant in the employ of the royal household, so is of course going to be loyal to the prince, but he seems genuinely surprised of the prince’s cruelty towards damen. not only that, but he slaps him and immediately assumes damen must have done something. which - i mean, technically he did lmao. not necessarily enough to deserve having the skin flayed from his back, but you know. if laurent was in the habit of torturing pets and slaves, why would the overseer react this way?

“The men guarding him were the Prince’s Guard, and had no affiliation with the Regent whatsoever. It surprised Damen how loyal they were to their Prince, and how diligent in his service, airing none of the grudges and complaints that he might have expected, considering Laurent’s noxious personality. Laurent’s feud with his uncle they took up wholeheartedly; there were deep schisms and rivalries between the Prince’s Guard and the Regent’s Guard, apparently.” Captive Prince, Chapter Four

laurents relationships with his guards are also some of the biggest indicators that he isn’t just a spoiled brat, but can insire a deep loyalty in his men. even if they do all want to fuck him. ah, sexual harassment. it’s also hilarious that damen immediately assumes they’re loyal to him because they want to fuck him - nice projection there, dude. we know a bit more about laurent and his guards thanks to green but for a season, but this little bit here is interesting.

“Laurent was indeed good at talking. He accepted sympathy gracefully. He put his position rationally. He stopped the flow of talk when it became dangerously critical of his uncle. He said nothing that could be taken as an open slight on the Regency. Yet no one who talked to him could have any doubt that his uncle was behaving at best misguidedly and at worst treasonously.”  Captive Prince, Chapter Five

idek what to say here. laurent my beloved <3333

“‘When someone doesn’t like you very much, it isn’t a good idea to let them know that you care about something,’ said Laurent. Damen felt himself turn ashen, as the threat sank in. ‘Would it hurt worse than a lashing for me to cut down someone you care for?’ said Laurent.” Captive Prince, Chapter Seven

this isn’t really relevant to my thesis lmfao i just love this exchange bc it gives SO MUCH information about laurent and his uncle in just three lines of dialogue. what has the regent done, who did he cut down just to hurt laurent? when and how did laurent learn that? p a i n 

“Laurent’s fussy horse began acting out again, and he leaned forward in the saddle, murmuring something as he stroked her neck in an uncharacteristically gentle gesture to quiet her.” Captive Prince, Chapter Nine. 

HORSEY NO- lmfao this scene just hurts so badly on the reread. especially later on, in book 3 i think, where laurent says something like “i provoked my uncle.” he’s really blaming himself for his uncle KILLING HIS HORSE, his horse that his murdered brother trained, one of the only living connections to auguste... all because his uncle could not let a single miniscule plan laurent had set go through without some kind of repercussion. literally all laurent did was do something to stop an innocent group of people from being abused, nothing to undermine his uncle’s rule, but because the regent is VILE he could not let laurent have even this. he’s so good with her, too. he must have known by this point and also known that there was no way to stop this. P A I N

“‘I know that you have somehow arranged this,’ said Erasmus. He was incapable of hiding what he felt, and just seemed to radiate embarrassed happiness. ‘You kept your promise. You and your master. I told you he was kind,’ Erasmus said. ‘You did,’ said Damen. He was pleased to see Erasmus happy. Whatever Erasmus believed about Laurent, Damen wasn’t going to dissuade him. ‘He’s even nicer in person. Did you know he came and talked to me?’ said Erasmus. ‘—He did?’ said Damen. It was something he couldn’t imagine. ‘He asked about . . . what happened in the gardens. Then he warned me. About last night.’ ‘He warned you,’ said Damen. ‘He said that Nicaise would make me perform before the court and it would be awful, but that if I was brave, something good might come at the end of it.’ Erasmus looked up at Damen curiously. ‘Why do you look surprised?’ ‘I don’t know. I shouldn’t be. He likes to plan things in advance,’ said Damen.” Captive Prince, Chapter 9.

this is the first in-text confirmation we have that laurent has a good heart beneath his layers and layers of trauma-induced lashing out. book one often skeeves people out because of its graphic and, honestly, yes, kind of sexualized depiction of rape, slavery, and depravity, but beneath it all you meet these two protagonists who are going to have all of their most deeply held views about each other challenged. laurent from very early on is shaken to his core when damen refuses to rape nicaise in the ring - it cracks the very foundations of the person he’d built up in his head as this horrible monster who killed his brother in cold blood. and damen keeps defying laurents expectations by being a good person through and through. on the other hand, laurent spends the first part of the book taking out years of anger on damen, but here for the first time we see him do something just because its the kind thing to do. yes, torveld is an ally against his uncle, but laurent has clearly been scheming with him for a while now, and he’s now overlooking his hatred of damen and working with him just because none of the slaves deserve whats happened to them. it’s such a sweet moment.

“One of the other men, eyeing them, approached a moment later. ‘Don’t mind Jean. He’s in a foul mood. He was the one had to stick a sword through the mare’s throat and put her down. The Prince tore strips off him for not doing it fast enough.’” Captive Prince, Chapter Nine.

HORSEY NO- pt 2. this is just another really sweet and sad detail - laurent being so upset that the horse’s death could have been more painless. it must have hurt so much to see her in pain, and to know that the only way for that pain to end was being put down as quickly as possible. i wuv him. im sad

that’s it, though there are still a few more chapters left in the book. this isn’t providing any new information, of course, the path of the three books is to show that laurent isnt the man we meet in book one, that he’s actually sweet, and earnest, and he’s been fighting his own battle practically alone against his abuser since he was fifteen years old. also, the reveal that laurent knew who damianos was from the start makes it clear imo that all of his violence in book 1 was supposed vengence, not... him being evil. he apologizes explicitly in-text, and also, all of the acts of violence he commits cause serious problems for him in terms of his future alliance which he then needs to fix. i just love how layered these books are, how there’s so much information in them that makes rereading almost more fun than reading them for the very first time!

[nevermindirah]

Yitzhak!

is a character! who Gregadiah What-Is-Math Rucka gave us almost no information about!

I've gone through Tales Through Time #6: The Bear and #1: My Mother's Axe with several magnifying glasses and done a lot of googling and taken my copy of the Tanakh off my shelf for the first time since (well, since the last time I needed to read Torah for TOG reasons, which I think was Booker Passover headcanons) and here's the best I can come up with.

In The Bear we meet someone who goes by the name Isaac Blue:

Read on for a lot of comic panel analysis and historical research and Jewish flailing!

So what do we know about this Isaac Blue person?

He's Lorge, he's got curly hair, he's basically a taller version of Joe as drawn by Leandro Fernández (ie an antisemitic stereotype why the fuck did they approve this character design?? and then why did they double down and copy-paste it to Yitzhak??):

He's got a mezuzah on the doorpost of his house in Alaska!

I screamed about the mezuzah way back in January in this post where I (very reasonably) assumed this character was Joe and spun myself a tale about how Booker is still Joe's brother so the mezuzah stays up even though Booker isn't welcome in that house for a century. Bottom line: the mezuzah is a tradition with origins in the commandment from Deuteronomy 6:9 to "write the words of G-d on the gates and doorposts of your house" and evolved over the course of the Rabbinic period into the modern mezuzah we see here.

I did unnecessary levels of google image search to glean absolutely no useful information about Yitzhak’s origins from this panel:

I've decided the variant cover of TTT 6 is Yitzhak because of a panel in My Mother’s Axe, shown here, and what's likely an unnecessarily deep reading of Exodus, discussed further down:

The person at the right of the bottom panel is wearing the same clothes as in the TTT 6 variant cover and has the same shoulder-length curly hair and hairy forearms.

Left to right, the people in this panel are Lykon (I'll never get used to him being white in the comics), Andy, Noriko (I think? why doesn't Andy mention her by name here?), and Yitzhak. Andy's robe has a stereotypically Greek design on the sleeve cuff, and I had to stop myself 10 minutes into a Wikipedia rabbit hole because Gregorforth doesn't think that deep about this shit. The solid clues as to timeline that we get in this panel are:

Andy's iron axe

the presence of Lykon, who Andy first met in 331 BCE

So all we know is that Yitzhak is an immortal, he was a contemporary of Lykon, and he's Jewish.

Isaac is the most common Anglicization of Yitzhak (which in turn is the most common Anglophone transliteration of יִצְחָק‎), and Greg always uses the (transliterated) Hebrew when he refers to this character. Yitzhak is the long-awaited child of Abraham and Sarah in Genesis, the child who G-d commanded Abraham to sacrifice but spared at the last minute. I see what you did there, Gregory.

Why Isaac Blue? This is where I pulled out my Tanakh. According to the New JPS translation, blue is the first of three colors of yarn listed in Exodus 35:6 among the gifts requested of the Israelites to construct the priestly garments for the Tabernacle and later the Temple. Then in Numbers 15:38 the Israelites are commanded to "make themselves fringes on the corners of their garments throughout the ages; let them attach a cord of blue to the fringe at each corner."

And now for sandbox timelines party! Gregadiah gave us ALMOST NOTHING to go on, so I'm gonna make my own fun.

I, like many modern Jews, think the stories in the Tanakh are foundational mythology that are valuable because of how they've shaped our people but that contain some fucked-up shit and either way aren't meant to be a record of historical facts. Modern scholarship generally agrees that the community we now call Jews emerged as a distinct group of Canaanites sometime in the late Bronze Age (cw this video's host says the Name of G-d aloud despite being a religious studies scholar who knows that is not a name anyone but the Temple priests are allowed to say). The first non-Biblical written record of the people Israel is from an Egyptian source c. 1200 BCE, and the Biblical kingdom of David and Solomon was probably an exaggeration of whatever really happened during the Bronze Age Collapse. We start getting into historical-fact territory a few centuries into the Iron Age:

588 BCE Solomon's Temple destroyed, Babylonian exile begins

538 BCE Cyrus of Persia allows Jews to return to Jerusalem

515 BCE Second Temple construction complete

332 BCE Alexander the Great At Something I Guess conquered Judea, beginning the Hellenistic period of Jewish history — 331 BCE Andy & Lykon find each other

167 BCE another jerkface Greek king desecrated the Temple and basically outlawed Judaism

164 BCE recapture of Jerusalem and Temple rededication during the Maccabean Revolt

70 CE destruction of the Second Temple by the Romans, beginning of the Rabbinic period of Jewish history that we're still in now

What if... and hear me out... what if immortals come in pairs, and the pairs are:

Andy & Quynh

Joe & Nicky

Booker & Nile

LYKON & YITZHAK

What if Yitzhak was a priest of the Second Temple? What if he and Lykon killed each other just like Joe and Nicky would in the same city around 1300 years later, but instead of enemies-to-lovers speedrun with an absurdly long happily-ever-after, when Lykon died permanently Yitzhak decided to separate from Andy and Noriko and become the hermit we later see in Alaska?

We don't know how old Yitzhak is compared to the others, only that he was a contemporary of Lykon at a time when Andy was using an Iron Age version of her mother's axe. Other plausible origins for him:

a Jew of the early Rabbinic period, maybe a child or grandchild of people who were still alive before the Second Temple was destroyed

a Judean of the Second Temple era under the Romans or Greeks or Persians, maybe a priest, maybe not

an exilee in Babylon, maybe of the generation who got to return, maybe of the generation who was exiled (he doesn't look like he was 50 at his first death but who knows, he could've been mortal for both)

an Israelite of the Kingdoms of Israel and Judah, maybe a priest of Solomon's Temple or again maybe not

an Israelite wandering in the desert with Moses

THEE Yitzhak, ben Avraham v'Sarah, our patriarch who was brought up for sacrifice and then spared, and then spared again, and then spared again, and again, and again...

or! he could also be a Canaanite or other Levantine who predates the people Israel, who at some point in his very long life chose to join our mixed multitude, who like Andromache before him (and like Avram and Sarai would in this case do after him) took a new name to reflect the magnitude of influence this people has had on him

Why do I keep saying Yitzhak might have been a priest? It's thanks to the one detail in the artwork I could plausibly connect to solid research without getting a PhD real quick. Take a look at the gorgeous detail on the opening of his robe in the TTT 6 cover. He's dressed in rags, holes and dirt everywhere, rough stitches probably from hasty repair work — except for the neck opening. Compare that to this description from Exodus 39:23 of the construction of the priestly garments for the Tabernacle: "The opening of the robe, in the middle of it, was like the opening of a coat of mail, with a binding around the opening, so that it would not tear."

The next verses describe the intricate designs for the hem of the priestly garment. Yitzhak's ragged garment looks like the hem was torn off entirely.

Am I overthinking this? Yes I am! You're welcome!

My friend and historical research hero @lady-writes​ is in a Discord server with Gregadiah and asked the man himself some questions about all this. He clearly thinks he's being sneaky?? No shit Yitzhak is Jewish, dude, I want DETAILS!

I will not be giving up my Jewish Booker headcanon, I've put too much thought into it by now, the internalized shame of antisemitism explains Booker's depression too well for me, and it just adds so much richness to Booker/Nile both being children of forced diasporas. Fortunately (for him, not me, bc I'd do it anyway!) Gregothy supports fan headcanons even when they're not in line with his own:

One last thing before I close like 100 research tabs and go back to writing historical fantasy and/or porn! I love that, despite that atrocious caricature of a face design, our canon Jew and our fanon Jew are both Lorge and Soft and Kind, flying the face of the antisemitic stereotype of Ashkenazi Jewish men as small and weak, but also not falling into the New Jew / Muscle Jew stereotype that Zionism created. (I am trying SO HARD not to talk about Israel/Palestine for once ughhhhhhhhhh) Anyway here's a (US-centric but very good) primer on both these stereotypes of Jewish masculinity. Is this why I'm forever projecting my transmasc diasporist feels onto Jewish Booker the service sub? 🤷🏻‍♂️

I’ll reblog a second version of this with full image descriptions so that there’s a version accessible for folks who need IDs as well as a version accessible for folks who get overwhelmed by walls of text.

[canonicallyobserving911]

Buck & Eddie: The Buckley-Diaz Family (Part 2 of 4)

This post includes CANON detailed character studies and scene analyses from season 3 to illustrate how The Buckley-Diaz Family continued to develop and strengthen after it was established during season 2.  Seasons 2-5 will have separate posts and this is part 2 of 4.

This is a long post but it had to be long to fully illustrate how The Buckley-Diaz family continued to develop and strengthen during season 3.  Prepare to spend a few minutes reading it.

Please note: To fully understand part 2 of this series, part 1 should be read first. Read blog post: “Buck & Eddie: The Buckley-Diaz Family (Part 1 of 4)”.

Season 3

After Shannon died in 2x17 “Careful What You Wish For” and Ali broke up with Buck following his leg getting crushed by the 118’s ladder truck in 2x18 “This Life We Choose”, the relationships between Buck and Eddie, Eddie and Christopher, Buck and Christopher and Eddie, Buck and Christopher continued to develop and strengthen, but all of it happened off screen before the start of season 3.  In 3x1 “Kids Today”, Maddie and the 118 threw Buck a Welcome Back Party after he passed his recertification test so that he could return to firefighting.  

After he walked in, the first and only person to run towards him and hug him was Eddie, while the song “Come and get your love” was playing (read blog post: “Buck & Eddie: Their LOVE Story is being told in CANON by the songs included in their scenes” for more information). Buck hugged everyone else after he hugged Eddie but none of them ran over to him like Eddie did.  

The Buckley-Diaz Family came together for a private moment in the Grant-Nash backyard, right after Buck greeted everyone, so that Christopher could give Buck a gift.  Christopher handed Buck a card that he made for him and when Buck said, “Wow. Thanks buddy. This is great.” Christopher said, “It’s you and me.”  After their exchange, it was evident that Buck and Christopher had established a relationship that was separate from Eddie after 2x18 and prior to 3x1 that happened off screen. On the card Christopher wrote ‘Buck BFF’ which illustrated how much he cherished their friendship.

Buck continued to mingle with guests at the party and during his conversation with Bobby, he thanked him for being there for him during his surgeries and rehabs.  He also started to talk about how Ali left him right after his leg got crushed and Bobby said, “She just wasn’t the right fit for you.”  Buck started coughing and after Bobby asked him if he was ok, Eddie was the first person shown looking at Buck with concern.  Buck started to cough up blood and was rushed to the hospital where it was determined he had an embolism.  While he was in the hospital, Bobby visited him and explained that he hadn’t been cleared to return to work and Buck became upset and quit his job.  Buck isolated himself from everyone, he wouldn’t answer Bobby’s calls, he wouldn’t leave his apartment and that was due to the fact that Buck’s whole life revolved around his job. The 118 had a conversation about Buck and Bobby nodded to Eddie so that Eddie would go check on him.  When Eddie arrived at Buck’s loft with Christopher, he went upstairs to Buck’s bedroom to wake him up and after they discussed Buck’s depression and him quitting his job, Buck went downstairs and heard Christopher say, “Hey Buck”.  Eddie told Buck, “He’s hanging out with his Buck today” after Buck asked him, “Where’s Carla?”.  Eddie then explained how Buck needed to get out of the house and he whispered to Buck that Christopher never feels sorry for himself.

Buck took Christopher to the pier and after they played several carnival games, they sat on a bench to rest for a while and during their conversation, Buck asked Christopher what he wanted to be when he grew up and Christopher said, “An astronaut or pirate”.  Then Buck said, “Those are some good choices.  Cool outfits too”.  Christopher changed his answer and said, “No, wait. A firefighter”. Buck explained how important it is for Christopher to find something he really wants to do and something that would be meaningful to him and that’s when Christopher told him, “You’re going to be ok kid”.  Buck looked over his shoulder and saw the Tsunami wave coming.  He picked up Christopher, put him over his shoulder, then started screaming at everyone on the pier to take cover.  He placed Christopher inside of a booth, looked back at the wave one last time then he jumped inside of the booth with him.

While they were going through the beginning of stages of the Tsunami in 3x2 “Sink or Swim”, Eddie was at work and Hen asked him about Buck.  Eddie pulled out his phone and showed Hen and Chimney a selfie Buck took of him and Christopher together while they were eating breakfast. Since the Tsunami had just happened, none of the 118 knew any of the details and Eddie didn’t know at the time that Buck and Christopher were trapped in it.

Buck saved Christopher from the raging waters and then he put him on top of the 136’s abandoned ladder truck.  Buck joined him and then he asked Christopher, “You good Chris?” and Christopher responded, “Yep. I took surfing lessons”. They were alone for a couple of minutes until Buck heard a woman screaming for help.  Buck asked Christopher to promise him that he would sit there and not move and Christopher did.  Buck saved a lot of people and brought them all to the ladder truck.  While they were waiting to be rescued, Buck and Christopher talked, played games and when dead bodies started floating down the street, Buck shielded Christopher from it.  He protected and comforted Christopher the entire time they were there but when the Tsunami wave started to go back out to the ocean, the ladder truck shifted and it caused several people to fall off.  When Buck tried to help some of them, Christopher fell off the ladder truck too and Buck heard it.  He turned around and panicked when he didn’t see Christopher which caused him to jump into the water to start searching for him.

In 3x3 “The Searchers”, Buck walked around all day and well into the nighttime hours searching for Christopher.  He was on blood thinners due to his embolism which made him weak but he didn’t give up. He walked to the VA hospital to see if Christopher was there and a nurse pointed him in the direction of the makeshift morgue.  Buck was distraught so he borrowed someone’s cellphone and called Maddie for guidance. She told him he needed to tell Eddie what happened but before Buck could figure out what he was going to do next, Eddie appeared because he had already been working there as a medic after he and Lena arrived.  Eddie saw Buck and asked him if he was ok and then he noticed Buck was wearing Christopher’s glasses.  He asked him “Why do you have his glasses?” and Buck started to explain what happened. Thankfully, the woman who had been caring and carrying Christopher around, since he and Buck had been separated, appeared and Eddie saw her.  He ran over to her and Buck followed Eddie with his eyes to learn that Christopher was safe.  Buck collapsed in Bobby’s, Chimney’s and Hen’s arms after he saw Christopher.  The next day, Buck was depressed and sitting in his loft when Eddie knocked on the door to bring Christopher back to him.  Buck was shocked to see them because he wasn’t sure how Eddie felt after he and Christopher got separated during the Tsunami. Buck said, “I lost him Eddie” and Eddie replied, “No you saved him. That’s how he remembers it”. Buck was still feeling guilty and said, “I was supposed to look out for him” and Eddie replied, “And what you think you failed? I failed that kid more times than I can count and I’m his father.  But I love him enough to never stop trying and I know you do too”.  Buck wouldn’t look Eddie in his eyes, so Eddie placed his hand on Buck’s shoulder and placed his thumb on his pulse point to reassure him that he still trusted Buck with Christopher’s care. Then Eddie said, “Buck, there’s no one in this world I trust with my son more than you”.

Christopher started having nightmares that caused him to scream in the middle of the night in 3x4 “Triggers”.  His screams would wake up Eddie which caused them to lose sleep.  Eddie went to work and told Chimney about Christopher’s troubles sleeping and explained he didn’t know what to do.  Buck was on light duty working as the Fire Marshall which meant he and Eddie still weren’t working together but obviously they were still seeing each other based on the way they greeted one another the day Buck went up to the firehouse. Buck smiled at Eddie the way he does when they’re flirting with each other and Eddie looked at Buck’s butt after he turned around and started talking to Bobby.  Eddie didn’t tell Buck about Christopher’s nightmares and he also didn’t tell Buck that he had a new temporary partner named Lena at work.  When Buck saw her, he was pissed and he became even more upset that night after he had dinner with Bobby and Athena because Bobby told him he was the reason why Buck wasn’t being allowed to return to work.  Buck filed a lawsuit against Bobby and the LAFD to get his job back.

In 3x5 “Rage”, after Buck filed the lawsuit, his lawyer advised him to cease all contact with the 118, which meant he couldn’t talk to Eddie.  Members of the 118 attended the arbitration hearing and Eddie got even angrier when he learned Buck told the lawyer some of his personal business. Christopher and Eddie were struggling with Buck’s absence; therefore when Eddie took Christopher to a sleepover, he argued with a man over a handicapped parking space and he punched him. He was arrested and since he couldn’t call Buck, he called Lena to bail him out of jail.  She took him to an illegal fight club because she thought it would give Eddie a healthy outlet to release some of his anger but she was wrong. Buck was awarded a settlement for the lawsuit but he turned it down because he didn’t do it for the money, he did it so that he could get his job back. When the 118 went grocery shopping, Buck followed them there because he wanted to apologize for filing the lawsuit but when Eddie saw him, he lost it.  He started yelling in the middle of the grocery store at Buck and said, “No he filed that stupid lawsuit and now I can’t even talk to you because of it. Do you know how much Christopher misses you? How could you because you’re not around”. Buck responded with “I didn’t realize that.  Maybe I could come and visit Christopher. The lawsuit doesn’t prevent that”. Nothing between them got resolved that day especially after Eddie told Buck he was selfish when he said, “That’s all you see” after Buck said, “Why can’t you see my side of this?”

Buck returned to work in 3x6 “Monsters” after the brass decided it would have been too much of a hassle to continue delaying his return since he won the lawsuit but he turned down the settlement money.  Eddie was not thrilled to see Buck so he either ignored him or was short with his responses to him throughout the day.  Buck got tired of Eddie ignoring him so he called him out at the end of the night and said, “So that’s how it’s going to be now. You’re just going to keep right on ghosting me because Halloween is over just so you know.” Eddie responded with, “I don’t know what you want from me Buck. Forgive, forget make you feel better about what you did.” and Buck replied, “I just want you to talk to me, even if it’s just to let me know that you’re still mad” and Eddie said, “I’m not mad, I’m…”.  Buck apologized and Eddie forgave him.  This was Buck’s first of two apologies to Eddie regarding the lawsuit.

In 3x9 “Fallout” Eddie and Christopher were at Buck’s loft for a Buckley-Diaz Family game night.  Buck and Eddie went into the kitchen to clean up after dinner and have a beer while they talked.  Initially they discussed an issue Maddie had at work but the conversation changed when Buck started his second apology.  He said, “I’m sorry, Eddie. I’m sorry I wasn’t there.  You and Chris needed me and I had my head so far up my own behind with that stupid lawsuit.” Then Eddie said, “We’re way past that Buck” and Buck replied, “I’m NOT!”.  After they discussed Eddie’s fighting, his therapy and Buck asking Eddie if he really wanted to punch him since he was upset about Buck abandoning them, they started with their sexual inuendo and told each other how much they loved and missed one another during their silent conversation.

They returned to the living room and played video games with Christopher and The Buckley-Diaz Family was finally reunited.

Christopher had a difficult time during Christmas in 3x10 “Christmas Spirit” because in previous years, his mother played an important role in his life during that holiday.  Eddie invited Buck, Hen and Denny to his house and he explained to Hen, while Buck was sitting on the floor with Christopher and Denny making gingerbread houses, that he thought it would be good to have the boys over for a playdate. Hen replied, “Yeah, all three of them”.   Christopher said, “Hey Buck” and Buck replied, “Yeah?” then Christopher said, “Can I spend Christmas with you?”. That broke Buck and Eddie’s hearts because they both had to work on Christmas Day so Buck worked with Athena so that they could have a Christmas party at the firehouse.  This was to make sure everyone, especially Eddie, was able to spend time with their kids and loved ones on the actual holiday.

Eddie explained to Chimney in 3x11 “Seize the Day” the importance behind choosing ones’ own family when they were talking in his dining room.  Chimney asked if it was strange that they spend so much time at work together but they still hang out when they’re not at work and Eddie replied, “No”.  He then said, “The 118 is the family we chose” and he looked towards the living room at Buck and Christopher who were sitting on the couch together.  Buck entered the kitchen and had a conversation with his sister Maddie.  He asked her why she forced him to bring some food to the party and she explained, “It’s the right thing to do when someone invites you to their house” and Buck replied, “This is Eddie’s house I’m not really a guest” (Read blog post: “Buck & Eddie: Buck said, “This is Eddie’s house I’m not really a guest” for more information).

Christopher got hurt skateboarding at school in 3x12 “Fools” and Eddie got angry with his teacher for not watching him closely enough.  He believed she should have known what was happening with Christopher and her other students. Carla tried to explain to him that he needed to talk to Christopher and explain that he wasn’t able to participate in some activities the same way other kids could but Eddie didn’t want to do that.  He had a conversation with Buck and Buck explained how they should think outside of the box to help Christopher and that’s exactly what they did.  Buck and Eddie built Christopher and adaptable skateboard and took him to the park so that he could ride it.

Eddie went into a well on a farm in 3x15 “Eddie Begins” after the 118 was dispatched there to locate a missing boy named Hayden.  While he was inside The Well waiting on another line to be sent down so that he could get out, lightning hit the drill and it tipped over causing The Well to collapse on top of Eddie.  Buck screamed and cried for Eddie and Bobby had to pull him aside to try and calm him down.  While Eddie was inside of The Well, it started to fill up with water and he started having flashbacks while he was losing consciousness. He thought a lot about Christopher and Buck while he was down there. Eventually he swam through a tunnel and emerged in a small pond of water. When Buck saw him, he was relieved and he comforted Eddie by holding his hand while they walked him over to the ambulance.  After The Well incident, Eddie named Buck to be Christopher’s legal guardian if he died but he didn’t tell anyone about it.

Christopher took a brochure home to Eddie regarding a summer camp he wanted to attend in 3x18 “What’s Next?” and Eddie took the brochure to work. He showed it to Buck who was practically against Christopher participating because he was worried about the amount of time he would be gone and he also considered how Christopher might become homesick.  Ultimately, Eddie decided to allow him to go but before he left for camp, Buck, Eddie and Christopher all attended May’s graduation party at the Grant-Nash residence. During the party, Buck and Eddie took pictures together and so did Buck and Christopher.  Buck also helped Christopher with writing his well wishes for May on her whiteboard. Eddie danced and ate cake with Christopher.

Summary

Buck and Eddie started building their self-made family during season 2 without even realizing it when Buck stepped in to help Eddie find someone to care for Christopher without Eddie ever having to ask.  He effectively became a co-parent to Christopher when Eddie needed it and he continued in that role even though they weren’t partners at work due to Buck’s leg injury.  Their relationship continued to strengthen off screen and it was evident that it did when Eddie ran to greet Buck first during his Welcome Back party.  It was apparent Christopher spent time with them too as their relationship grew because his friendship with Buck became even stronger.  Eddie and Buck’s relationship provided Christopher with another adult to confide in besides his father.  That was obvious when Christopher gave Buck a handmade card during the Welcome Back party. Buck and Christopher had long conversations while they waited to be rescued and as they sat on top of the ladder truck during the Tsunami.  Eddie started to realize how much he loves and needs Buck during this time because he proudly showed Hen and Chimney a selfie Buck had taken of him and Christopher in 3x2 “Sink or Swim”.  When Buck had to face Eddie after the Tsunami to tell him he lost Christopher, it was a devastating moment for them but thankfully a woman who had been carrying Christopher around all day long, appeared with Christopher still in her arms.  Buck was reassured by Eddie that he still trusted him with Christopher’s care when Eddie took Christopher to Buck’s loft the day after the Tsunami.  Based on Eddie’s comment of “There’s no one in the world I trust with my son more than you”, it’s clear that Eddie valued Buck’s role in their lives and he hadn’t even considered removing Buck as Christopher’s co-parent even after they went through a natural disaster together and got separated. Also Eddie and Buck had only known each other for 1 year at the time so it’s also evident their relationship was far beyond that of a bromance, brothers, or a platonic friendship.  

The lawsuit damaged their relationship because Buck wasn’t allowed to talk to Eddie and Eddie became angrier whenever he wanted to talk to Buck but couldn’t.  He started fighting in that illegal fight club and he lost control when he almost killed a man.  Buck wanted to make up with him after he returned to work but Eddie kept acting like he was a “jilted lover” who had been abandoned. The truth is Buck did abandon Eddie and Christopher but he didn’t do it on purpose. Eddie felt that Buck abandoned them just like Shannon did and he wasn’t sure how to fix it so he lashed out because he had already placed Buck in the role of co-parent. The problem with that was he never talked with Buck about the things he expected him to be responsible for with regards to that role (read blog post: “Buck & Eddie: Buck said, “Look man, you need to tell me if something is wrong” or 6 times Eddie tried to tell Buck “I need you” for more information). He just assumed Buck would anticipate the things he wanted like he did in 2x4 “Stuck” when he contacted Carla to help Eddie find care for Christopher.  Buck and Eddie made up twice, once at the firehouse for their work partnership and a second time in Buck’s loft for their personal relationship.  They both worked seamlessly to create an environment for Christopher where he could thrive and succeed.  Eddie nor Buck had those opportunities when they were young due to their trifling parents and they wanted to ensure that Christopher would be able to participate in activities even if he had to do it differently than other children. Neither of them wants Christopher to grow up like they did; therefore they work together to solve any problems he may face.  When Eddie got trapped in The Well, most of his thoughts were about Christopher and Buck and all Buck could think about while he tried to dig Eddie up with his bare hands was Eddie.  After Eddie got out of The Well, he went to his lawyer and changed his will by listing Buck’s name as Christopher’s legal guardian but he didn’t tell anyone about it. That means Eddie was planning for him and Buck to be in each other’s lives for the long-term and since he knew his parents would challenge his will after his death, it’s evident he wasn’t planning to keep Buck listed as the legal guardian for long.  He was probably planning to make Buck’s role in their lives more permanent once he and Buck took the next steps in their relationship, i.e. marriage, adoption, etc. They can’t live without each other and they are the loves of each other’s lives.  They keep Christopher’s needs at the forefront of everything they do and they both worry about him just like other parents worry about their children. Christopher is Eddie’s biological son but he’s Buck’s son too even if they aren’t related by blood.  The Buckley-Diaz Family was fully developed with Buck and Eddie co-parenting Christopher and Christopher is being raised by two people who love him unconditionally.

The Buckley-Diaz Family was fully developed by the end of season 3 and all the relationships within their familial unit were showcased: Buck and Eddie as partners to each other and co-parents to Christopher; Eddie and Christopher; Buck and Christopher; and all three of them as a family.   TPTB were even more INTENTIONAL during season 3 to show The Buckley-Diaz Family as a singular familial unit and highlighted them in several episodes to show them as an individual family like all the other families were showcased inside of their found family with the 118.  The next part of this series will continue with The Buckley-Diaz Family moments from Season 4.

To be continued…  

Part 3 will be posted soon.

[ghostmacandcheese]

Heaven help the fools chapter 2

(Hello! I hope you like this fanfic. It’s going to be six chapters, that way i can put a good amount of detail into the story. It isn’t a Y/N reader, as the main character does have a name, and if it seems strange or annoying the way the conversations flow or the way things are described, sorry, thats just how i think and react to things. While most of the stuff in this is false, obviously, there will be a note at the end of each chapter letting you guys know what was actually real from personal experiences! Hope you all enjoy, i know i had a lot of fun writing this!)

Summery: you meet Steven in the museum gift shop and become fast friends, and maybe something even more!

Pairing: just Steven x female reader

Warnings: some swearing, being the family disappointment, sleep disorders

Genre: fluff, meet-cute, friends to lovers

Chapter 2: not quite a date

I sat in the mummification wing of the museum, pencils and sketch pad in hand, ready to take another crack at the intricate sarcophagus drawing I'd been working on all week. I'd been hoping to catch steven after that first time meeting, but he hasn't shown up at all in the past week, so now I've just given up hope and dedicated my time to this stupid drawing I now have to finish.

As I sketch out the face on the sarcophagus, I feel someone standing behind me. God, why can't people realize it's rude to stand behind someone when they're drawing. Can't you see I'm busy? I huff, irritated. “If you're gonna watch over my shoulder, at least bother tipping. Replacing a personal space bubble costs a lot nowadays, you know.” I continue sketching, feeling the eyes looking over my shoulder move to the front of my head, and I look up, ready to chide off another stranger hoping for a quick picture in front of another dead body, but suddenly regret every decision I had ever made when I realize the lingering eyes belonged to the one and only steven grant.

“I-I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be rude. I-i thought I saw you here, and donna, my boss, says you've been coming here for the past week, drawing everything in the place. I was just curious what you were doing. I-i think it looks great.” he smiles timidly, scared he'll say something wrong.

I give him an apologetic smile. “Don't be sorry, I just had a lot of people bother me over the past week when all I wanted to do was sketch. I also don't like people watching me. I didn't mean to be rude.” I go back to working on the face mask, and he continues to awkwardly stand there. No, Steven please, don't be awkward, I don't know what to say when things are awkward! Um, um think! Art? Yeah, go with art. Talk about art. “S-so,” I start, unsure of where I'm supposed to be going with the conversation. “I- uh, you haven't been here for the past week. I was wondering where you were.” that's…that's not art. We had a great topic and I just threw it away. Nice.

“Oh, yeah, I had to go out of town for a bit. Wait, you looked for me?” his eyes filled with hope and curiosity, and his cheeks turned a slight red.

“Uh, yeah. You were an interesting person and I enjoyed our conversation. It was fun. I don't normally talk to people when I go out, I actually prefer just doing things alone.'' I chuckle nervously, twisting my moldable eraser in my hands. “Oh, I can leave if you want, then I didn't mean to intrude.” I looked up quickly. “Oh, no please! Don't go!” why. Why did we just say that? Why couldn't we let him walk away and stare at him from afar? God, I'm impulsive. “I-i mean, I like talking to you. You-your easy to talk to. You don't think I'm weird. I mean, maybe you do, and I just don't know, I'm not a mind reader after all and- sorry. I didn't mean to ramble, I got nervous, heh.” he just laughed. “Um, I was gonna grab a coffee, did you wanna come?” I offer the invitation, hoping he'll say yes so we can talk more, but begging he'll say no so he just remains a nameless person I see on occasion. But he's not nameless, stupid, he told us his name. It's steven. Are you dumb? I'm not dumb, I know his names steven, I did it for dramatic purposes! God, why are we like this? “Sure, I would love to!” he exclaims, looking excited. “Excellent. I know a great place!” I gather my pencils and sketchbook and toss them in my bag, standing to face him. Oh, I didn't realize before, we were almost the same height. Heh, smol bean steven. I chuckle to myself, and Steven looks at me curiously. “What are you laughing about?” “hmm? Oh, I just thought of something funny, don't worry about it. Come on, it's this way!”

We sit down with our coffees, and I look around, observing the people in the cafe today. “Mmm, this coffee is good.” he smiles after taking a sip. “Yeah, I love the brown sugar cold foam latte, it's delicious.” I take a sip of my drink before taking a bite of my blueberry scone. “S-so,” he hesitates, picking at a small spot on the table. “I feel like I don't know anything about you. G-got any interesting things about yourself?” he looks up at me from under those beautiful lashes, and my heart melts a little. “Yeah, I suppose. Um, to start with I moved here about 8 months ago, and I just started going out and getting to know places.”

“It took you that long?”

“Yeah, I have a hard time with change and control, so it took me a while to unpack all my stuff and get comfortable where I live.” I brush the crumbs from my scone onto the floor, looking at him curiously. “What about you?”

“Oh, um, I own a fish with only one fin. His name is Gus.” I laugh.

“What's so funny?” he asks, confused. “Nothing, it's just, you ask me to tell you interesting things about myself and I tell you I have control issues, and when I ask you the same thing, you tell me you have a fish with one fin?” “oh, well, I figured you already knew about the bed cuff thing, so that was the only other thing I could think of.”

“Oh, I completely forgot about that!” he looks at me, confused.

“I have a really bad memory, can't remember anything past this morning. It's like my brain takes all my thoughts and jumbles them up and puts em I a box and leaves me to sort through it, so because nothing is in order, I don't know what happened. I also have no concept of time, space, or awareness. I get lost very easily.” he laughs at that. “Well, anything else interesting about you, miss Ophelia Jane?” he looks at me, thoughtful. I feel like his eyes are searching my soul.

“Um, let's see, for three years I was planning on opening a bakery, till I realized it was something my mother wanted from me, and not what I actually wanted to do, so now I'm a content creator/artist, or as my parents see it, a disappointment.” I look up from my coffee, wondering why he's so quiet, and see a look of utter hurt and sadness on his face. “I-im so sorry. That sounds awful!” “oh, it's ok, really, I forget most of the time that not everyone thinks depression jokes are funny. Don't worry about my disappointed parents' though, they're used to it. I'm the oldest of five, and I got all the” I make jazz hands to emphasize “emotional damage. Anyway, let's not be depressed!” I chuckle again, looking at his slightly shocked face. “Erm, yeah, so you said you do art? What kind? Besides sketching, I mean.” “oh, well I do mainly sketching, painting, and digital art. But I don't really do that stuff for work, it's more of a hobby. For now, I work here on the weekends to pay the bills.” “really? I didn't know. I mean, how would I, I don't stalk you or anything, I promise-” “steven, I get it, it's all good. So, you work at the museum right? What's your favorite part?” as soon as those words leave my lips, I see his eyes light up excitedly. Yes! Talk to me for hours, you beautiful sleep-deprived god! He begins to raddle off all of the best exhibits in the museum and how Egypt shaped the rest of the modern world, and I just sat there, watching this man talk more than he's probably talked in years.

We ended the coffee ‘date’ about an hour after we got on the subject of ancient Egypt, and steven promised me a tour of his favorite wings in the museum. “H-hey, um, could I, I mean, would it be alright if-if I gave you my number? I really like talking to you, and then we could plan to hang out more!” he looked really nervous, as if he was just waiting for me to say no. OOOOOHHHH!! NOWS ARE CHANCE! HE'S GIVING US HIS NUMBER! HEHEHEHE!

“Sure, here, put it on my phone, and ill text you so you know it's me, ok?” I grin at him, happy I finally have someone to talk to who doesn't mind my never-ending chattering.

‘O-ok sounds good! Um, well, ill catch you on the flip flop, laters gators!” he waves and walks away, leaving me chuckling at the ridiculous but seemingly characteristic goodbye he just gave me. I have steven's grants number! I WILL NO LONGER BE SINGLE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE!! I skip slightly down the street, waiting for the bus to come and take me home. What a great day. It wasn't quite a date, but it was nice all the same. I'm glad I met him.

*end chapter authors note*

Hey guys, me again. Hope you liked this chapter, i thought it was really cute. Anyway, here’s your interesting facts about me that i put into the story to make it seem more relatable(?)

1) i am very impulsive, so that entire interaction in the beginning could totally happen with someone if was brave enough to talk to people

2) i have very bad control issues and have a hard time with new things, so I’m pretty sure if i did move somewhere he wit would take me almost a year to get used to it all and be ok

3) that whole thing about the bakery, disappointing your parents, and being the oldest of five kids is all true, and to top it all of, i was homeschooled and had autism and didn’t know it. What a great mix, huh?

4) i talk. A LOT. Like, imagine steven going on a big thing about how much he loves Egypt, but its me, talking about everything like that. A lot of people hate me for it.

[xo-cuteplosion-xo]

I don't know if this counts as a comfort request, can you do a Chuuya and Dazai comfort request of them comforting/saving the reader from a abusive parent?

Yes, this is, of course, a comfort request, if it helps you feel better, than it counts. I’m sorry if this doesn't live up to expectations though, abuse is one of the few things I struggle with writing for personal reasons (don’t worry, it’s nothing physical, just a lot of mental strain loves), so it won’t be detailed or thoroughly explained, more hinted/briefly mentioned. Since the request was vague, I was unsure what kind you needed, so I went with what I’m more comfortable writing. With that out of the way, here are 2 small drabbles.

Saved from an abusive household (comfort fic) |Dazai, Chuuya x Reader|

Warning: Emotional and (maybe some hints to physical) abuse

Words- 1141 (combining both characters totals).

Dazai-

590 words

To say he was angry was an understatement. He never understood why his emotions were so, so uncontrolled when it came to you. He was hardly in terms that he may actually love you. With the wind blowing over your face, whipping through your hair, he couldn’t help it. Noticing every mark, the tears, everything. He noticed it despite how you acted like everything was fine. The hoarseness of your tone was too great a signal that, well, you had been crying longer than he had been standing here. Dazai wanted to know, no, he needed to know who had made you so upset. He felt, odd as it may sound, protective. He would never strike out against you or raise his voice. He’d never hurt you, not in any way. So the flinch you made when all he wanted was to cup your face, to whisper that he loved you, it hurt. He couldn’t keep his face from showing the shock. His eyes darting around for any other signs. Clearly, he’d noticed before, but you always rode it off.

Standing within the brutal rain, you watched Dazai with a clouded mind. There are… many ways that often go unnoticed to the public. While cuts are difficult to hide, the scars on the mind… are impossible to see. What is not shown on the surface is never seen. Anxiety, depression, social awkwardness, the flinch brought on by a loud noise or voice, the shaky trembles of hands when being scolded. Signs that go unnoticed, so as Dazai looked at you with eyes full of anger and pain, he waited until you flew to his chest and broke down. His hands never once left your back. His voice a mere whisper as he ran fingers and told you the best news of your life. “You can live with me. It isn’t much, but its, it’s better than going back there.” His voice held so much anger, disgust, and pain you thought he may drop you in bed, then run to kill the two who told you over and over how much they loved you, only to contradict themselves. 

He did something along the lines of that. When you were asleep in an oversized shirt and a pair of sweatpants far too long for your legs, he sipped from the agency-provided room, and well, he went straight to the place he knew you lived. It happened to be on your file in the agency. He didn’t bother knocking, but instead picked the front door lock with skilled ease, and underneath the clap of thunder and flash of white light, he slid inside. Dragging water into the room where two older adults lay. As if they didn't notice their child's absence. So pulling out his gun, he shot at a perfect angle. A direct middle between heads. He watched them scramble awake, only to see he was already gone within shadows. He played the part of a demon for you tonight. Raising their paranoia as far as he could, before appearing with a dramatic flash of lighting having calculated the right timing. He warns them if they ever tried to make themselves the victims, or if they set a pinky on your skin, he’d make their lives a living hell. After all, he was once Dazai Osamu, the demon prodigy, the youngest mafia executive. It wasn't a title he liked anymore, but he would admit returning to such a mentality for a bit would be alright, if it meant protecting you from pain.

Chuuya-

551 words

Beneath the rays of moonlight showering through a ginger held you tightly in his arms. Tonight he played the part of the big spoon, cuddling you close to keep you safe. It was always like this in storms. His arms wrapped around you, running down your arms. His lips on top of your in passionate breaks here and there. The two shared wine and laughed away the storm. Every time you jumped, he dropped to kiss your shoulders and between your neck. He kept trying to comfort you with all he could. He never felt it was enough. Especially after the ones that were within seconds of another. The louder the tremble, the more you shook, so when four or five repeated in a row he worried. Sure, it was normal to be scared of storms, but you were scared of the noise in general. It was an issue he had hated because, well, we all know Chuuya likes to yell a lot. He never realized till he was actually angry with a coworker, the flinch you make is an expectation, like your bracing for something. That’s how he found out. The next morning, how you claimed to be too sick to go home. The way you wanted to stay with him on your week off. How you'd rather just keep working.

“I’ll kill them.” It wasn’t anger directed at you, and he kept his tone soft, despite how difficult it was. Behind his clenched teeth, dagger-like glare, and the snarl, he was positive he’d frightened you accidentally. “Let me kill ‘em.” He grumbled, shoving his gloves into pockets as he tried to reel in his temper. He doesn't give two shits if they are your parents. So telling him no is frustrating. Clearly, if they did this, if they could be cruel enough to make their child afraid, then they didn’t deserve somebody so forgiving and kind like you.

He let you stay the day with him. There was no way he’d make you go home. Not when he’d seen how terrified you were when he tried pushing you out the door. He’d cuddled and spoiled you rotten with gifts all day. And when you finally crashed, his lips tapped your forehead, and he was gone. Searching through records till he found the address. He was straight to the point, breaking a window with a nice kick. His feet heavy with gravity as he grabbed the collars of those two blind bastards. Yes, he knew he could make it worse. However, that would only happen if they were not afraid of him. An overprotective guard dog. Trust me, this is one loyal bastard you never want to cross. He couldn’t kill them, but he could hurt them. He could yell at the top of his lungs and shout in their ears. Send them in walls, maybe break a finger, or two. On his way out, when the couple stood shaking with fear, his head tilted back just enough to see the scene he’d made. “Hurt them again, and I won’t listen. You’re really lucky, my baby has a golden heart that forgives so easily." He half-expected them to call the cops, but he guessed that meant angering the mafia more. What could he say, he was a pretty well-known man.

Tags (if you wish to be added send an ask) : @jadegreenimmortality

[shirophantomvox]

Chrollo, Hisoka, and Illumi Headcanons

Chrollo, Hisoka, Illumi, and Leorio headcanons

Hello, anon! I am so sorry for taking longer than usual to respond to this post. I have been so busy with A LOT lately but I have time now! I don’t know if you want N/SFW, romantic or non so I’ll go based on what comes to mind! I know many Tumblr users have made these types of assumptions for them a lot but I wanted to join in. I started writing this last night so forgive me if there are any unbearable grammar errors. I hope you like it anon, I tried my best. I have to work on my headcanons for them because I try to keep them in character. Since we don’t have much background info on ⅔, I have to keep it as realistic as possible. FYI N/SFW content is mentioned.

Discord for Voltron and HxH fans

Let’s start with Chrollo.

Chrollo (SFW)

I’ve seen on here that a lot of you headcanon Chrollo to be an understanding man when it comes to feelings for his significant other. Given his soft voice and calm demeanor, I’m sure that is somewhat true.

It seems like Chrollo isn’t on board with over-the-top PDA meaning he would agree to hand-holding and his arm around you but nothing more. He saves the...other stuff for when you two are alone. Because of Chrollo’s past, it seems like he wouldn’t want to be seen in public that much because that can cause him to get caught by the authorities.

He takes your safety very seriously. You understand that when he is with the Phantom Troupe that you are not to interrupt until the business is over. He doesn’t allow you to get involved with the missions because of how dangerous they can be (example: the auction). He knows you can handle it, he prefers for you not to be involved. Feelings and work can make things difficult.

Although Chrollo hides in the shadows, I imagine he lives in a penthouse with expensive furniture, white and black color pattern, and large windows that have an astonishing view of Yorknew.

After you both have worked long and hard, you open the door just to see the lights dimmed so dark that it matches the night atmosphere. There are rose petals leading to the bathroom where a bubble bath is waiting. As you enter the bathroom, your boyfriend is waiting there, submerged in bubbles sticking his arms out. Candles light up the tiny room casting a romantic shadow from your body. You grab his hand and gently sit in the tub. The warm water felt amazing; it helped your aching muscles (from exercising) feel better. Chrollo gently grabbed your arm and pulled you into a warm, loving embrace. He wrapped his toned arms around your body and rested his chin on your shoulder. He didn’t say a word but instead breathed heavily, kissed your shoulder, and leaned back against the wall. On days like this, he didn’t say much but his actions spoke louder than words.

Chrollo NSFW

I think Chrollo is a passionate lover. This assumption comes from his calm demeanor. He seems to be incredibly patient so if you aren’t positioning yourself the right way or something, he’ll work with you to make sure you get it and you are comfortable.

He is touchy. That means during the nitty-gritty, he likes to touch your face, chin, lips, and your torso as a way to show more affection.

When he is in the mood, he moves slowly then very fast. He cannot resist the urges and feelings he has for you.

He loves to do this while the drapes are open although you have expressed that you like your privacy. It’s ironic. He doesn’t like extreme PDA but is ok with sleeping with you while the lights from the city shine near your penthouse window. Ah, guys are confusing.

After the climax, he lays flat on the bed and pulls you close. He leaves about an inch in between because heat is still radiating off your bodies and it’s summertime.

Hisoka (SFW) If his significant other was shy.

People have mixed feelings about Hisoka, feelings, and whether or not if he is gentle or not. I don’t think that Hisoka is gentle but begins to lay off the harsh jokes or pranks as he sees that you both have fought before and you’re not as weak as he thought.

Unlike Chrollo, he is all for PDA. This ranges from hand holding to playful kisses to passionate kisses. When I saw Hisoka for the first time, I immediately thought he was a fuck boy. A fuck boy is a boy that is only interested in sleeping with someone and doesn’t intend on pursuing a relationship.

He’d take the pleasure of appreciating your presence as well as testing your patience. If you are shy and are easily flustered, he will change that. He’ll do things like kissing you, calling you affectionate names, or anything that will cause you to respond. You hit him jokingly. Still not getting the message, he continues and you hit him harder. This is where he releases a medium moan which causes everyone to look in your direction. You freeze; face flushed and he’s laughing his ass off.

“What’s the matter,” he asks, covering his mouth. “You look flushed~♥.”

“You’re doing too much. Stop playing around! People are staring~💯.” You cover the side of your face. True enough you were a little mortified but in a good way. You knew he did this because he liked you but sometimes he played too much.

This is when he pulls you closer to his face, your ear next to his mouth, and whispers something in your ear that sent chills down your spine that made you blush more than before. He nearly puckered his lips as he spoke. He took his index finger and thumb to caress your cheek.

“Raising your voice at me? That simply won’t do. Aren’t you aware of the consequences~♥?”

You knew better than to not say anything because he would cup your cheeks and pull you into a deep kiss, and wouldn’t let go until he was sure that everyone was looking.

Both of you enjoy red, white, and rose wine. To him, wine equals classiness and sophistication. After fighting each other for hours (which he considers training for you and exercise for him) drinking wine and watching Lifetime (television for idiots) is a great way to end the night.

NSFW

As stated above, I originally thought that Hisoka was a fuck boy, so I am going to roll with that thought. This man has the potential of being rough and if he is too rough this is the time where you can speak up and say so. He’ll listen to you. Similar to Chrollo, he can be very romantic if he wants to. The rose petals gimmick was played out.

Instead, he hides in the darkest part of the living room waiting for you.

You turn on the lights and immediately head to the kitchen to drink a bottle of ice-cold water. Summer nights in Yorknew were hot and humid, almost unbearable. It felt like you were being suffocated. Becoming impatient, Hisoka clears his throat loudly causing you to nearly jump out of your skin; choking on the water you were drinking. He released a sexy chuckle. When you turned around, there stood your chiseled buff boyfriend bare with a ribbon tied in various directions around his body. Your birthday was two days ago and he was your gift. Although you have seen him like this before, for some reason you were too flustered to make a move. He already knew that you were tired from work, so he carried you in his arms to the Exercise Room and laid you gently on the floor. You smiled as a rush or passion took over your body resulting in you tearing off the ribbon tightly wrapped around his body. Since this was your birthday gift, he made it a night you’d remember forever! Surprisingly, no roughhousing, just soft and gentle. This proves that Hisoka has the capability of being humane. His strokes were to your liking and the gazes that you both exchanged were mind-blowing. Why couldn’t he be this way all the time? After it all, you fell asleep at her quickly. You were on the floor but now on top of your king-sized bed, with the message control on high. He stayed awake, watching TV, and thought about how he was going to pick a fight with you at the crack of dawn.

Hisoka’s ability to flirt and send the intended person swooning is a talent of itself. Lots of people do not possess this talent. Sometimes it's intentional and sometimes it's not. He speaks softly and smoothly, are he has to do is ask and it shall be done.

Illumi SFW

Illumi gives the impression that he is a “quiet” freak. This means that true enough he is focused on his job but if the moment comes along he will give in. He isn’t into PDA at all and if he does feel like showing some affection it will be done in private. Even though he appears to be a zombie, laying on or even cuddling with his significant other will help him relax for once. Imagine having to complete many missions in a day, exhausted, and have a wonderful person waiting to act as a human pillow for your weary head. Even Illumi can’t resist that.

If he likes you and plans to marry you, he will make that known to everyone to avoid confusion. Illumi represents the stereotypical shy boy; he is anti-social, prefers to only be around people he knows and trusts, and carries out the duties of his job.

After everything has been completed for the day, he wouldn’t mind ( and secretly begs) for silent cuddles with his significant other and to just fall asleep. At this point, you are used to it so this is all you want and you are satisfied. When he does talk, it’s usually about something he found out from work that he knows should be kept quiet but he tells you anyway. Late nights are the time of day where Illumi vents for a few hours. The details of these vent sessions could range anywhere from “I wish you were there to see it” to “No, it would be too much”. As quiet and reserve as he is, his love is shown in a unique way that you have grown accustomed to.

NSFW

When the urge slaps him across the face like a sack of rocks, he cannot resist. Usually, he fights off the urge by exercising (mainly because you are out of the house or sleep) but this time he couldn’t shake it.

Before he gets started with anything, he styles his long hair in the shape of a bun so it doesn’t get in the way of action.

Although he is portrayed to be an emotionless zombie, he has some feeling deep inside him that he unleashes just for you. This is shown by gentle moist kisses being placed along your neck and once he reaches your shoulder that is when you wake up. Halfway through your sleepy eyes, you see a man with a devilish smile painted across his face. Who is this man? This couldn’t be your boyfriend. No way, no how.

Once he sees your sleepy smile, he just releases so many kisses that you throw the blanket off and he pulls you in closer.

Illumi will allow you both to switch the roles meaning he is in charge one time and you are on another day. Since you were still asleep, he decided to take on the role. He is surprisingly gentle in the beginning but as soon as it takes off, your ride him like a donkey. It ironic; he releases more noises than you! You have to remind him that noise travels! Great, you’re doing your job well! While it is important to take your job seriously, you need to have time to release that stress.

He uses his large eyes to stare into yours; you always found yourself lost in his gaze.

After it all, you lay back down waiting for your boyfriend to return from the kitchen. Illumi craves food like crazy after a good session. What’s better than donuts at 3 AM? COMFORT FOOD!!

These urges also come when you two are training together. Several times he’s had to guide you from behind on how to aim his needles. This time you noticed the packing of his pants which surprised you.

“Any questions,” he asked in a monotone voice.

“Yes. Why did you wear jogging pants? You’re giving yourself away.”

It was at this moment, he knew he fucked up. But let’s be honest, ok? He is standing behind the most beautiful person in the world, nostrils full of perfume, hair tied up, and has his left hand placed loosely on your thigh?! What was he thinking by wearing jogging pants when he was with you? He acted as if he didn’t know what you were talking about.

“You really don’t know?”

You kicked your backside out against him causing him to fall to the ground.

“Wow! Your legs are like jelly!”

“Why tease me,” He asked breaking out a small smile.

“You’re the one denying it.”

“Just get to it. I can’t wait any longer or else I’ll explode.”

The quiet ones are always the freakiest.

[amaya-chwan]

Takeaways from Therapy Game Restart 14 + Illustration Book Release Date

Hello again everyone! ❤️💛💜

It's finally here... chapter 14! In all its glory! 😍🥰✨

Before we get to our takeaways, just some news I missed in the last post!

🎉 SENSEI'S ILLUSTRATION BOOK WILL BE RELEASED AROUND THURSDAY, 23RD SEPTEMBER! 🎉

Image taken from this Twitter post from Dear+!

It is titled "日ノ原巡イラスト集　DARLING" and boasts a collection of illustrations from Sensei's works so far: Secret XXX, Therapy Game, and Kamisama no Uroko.

The current price is ¥2970 with tax (¥2700 without tax). If you'd like to preorder it on your proxy shopping service, I've found it on the Comi Comi Studios website here! The bonus for purchasing it on this website is a B5 clear file~ I haven't seen it on Animate just yet, so fingers crossed it'll appear on their website soon with another (different) bonus! ❤️💛

Alright, with this amazing news done, let's move onto our takeaways, the long awaited takeaways! Thank you for being so patient with me! 💜

My short life update: currently in week 8 of lockdown and I haven't left my house in a long time other than for exercise or groceries. But I do have my vaccination appointment booked so YAY! 🎉

Here are our takeaways for this chapter:

Oh man, we pick right up from the last page of chapter 13. MINATO, BB, YOU LOOK SO PAINED! 😭

Sensei is the BIGGEST tease... that's all we got of that Minato and Shizuma scene...👀😭

The female staff at the veterinary hospital have really mellowed out! They're not bad, after all. ☺️

Oh dear, Nakajou-sensei, please get better ASAP!

Whoa... did Onodera just...?? I'm starting to think back to that Onodera discussion we had a couple of months ago... 🤔

Poor Shizuma, always roped into Onodera's workplace stuff! IT'S BECAUSE YOU HAVE GREAT PEOPLE SKILLS, SHIZUMA! PROUD OF YOU! 😍🙌

Man, Onodera has a really... blunt way of saying things to her human clients. Wow, brave. 😲

But I will say, Onodera really is good with animals. 🙌

Yet again, I think about that Onodera discussion we had... 🤔🤔

And that’s it for this chapter’s takeaways! For a more detailed breakdown/summary of this chapter, please continue after the cut! There may or may not be a surprise scene (or two) there. Please keep reading if you want to see~  😉✨

Our chapter begins where we left off in chapter 13--Minato pinning Shizuma down on the bed. Shizuma looks up at Minato and reflects on his actions that caused the pained look he is seeing.

Image taken from this Dear+ Twitter post!

On the next page (title page), the dialogue reads: Shizuma wants to understand what it is about his director (Onodera) that is making Minato uneasy. // However, that beautiful liar hides it well...

(I believe we are taken back to the morning before Shizuma and Minato meet up for their date.)

The title page features Onodera walking back to the clinic, bread in hand, with a cat cozying up on her leg. We are then brought to the clinic's lunchroom, with the female staff and Shizuma on break. The roster in the room shows that Onodera is extremely busy, Nakajou-sensei has afternoon house call appointments, Tatsumi is Nakajou-sensei's support for these appointments, and Shizuma has a half day and finishes in the afternoon in lieu of working on his scheduled day off.

Shizuma asks his coworkers what presents they like from their partners and takes note of their answers. One of the female nurses asks if it's Minato's birthday. Shizuma confesses that their relationship has been affected by the various things happening lately, so he wants to get Minato a gift before seeing him later that day.

The nurses quickly pick up that the gift is a "tribute" of sorts as this line of work means a lot of missed appointments and dates, and Shizuma confirms their suspicions. While the nurses realise male-male relationships and male-female relationships aren't that different in this aspect, everyone in the lunchroom is alerted to someone shouting Nakajou-sensei's name.

Shizuma and a nurse see Tatsumi with Nakajou-sensei, who has collapsed on the floor. While the staff are concerned about Nakajou's well-being, she brushes it off as a dizzy spell. Before they can help her up, Onodera sweeps her off her feet and carries Nakajou to her (Onodera's) office. While Nakajou asks Onodera to put her down out of sheer embarrassment, Shizuma and Tatsumi are in shock, with Tatsumi commenting on Onodera's manliness in that moment. One of the other nurses gently smacks Shizuma's shoulder and tells the two to grab a blanket and a drink for Nakajou.

In her office, Onodera asks Nakajou why she's been overworking herself to the point of collapsing. The nurse (who gave the gentle smack) very obviously hints to Onodera that it is her fault. As Nakajou calms the nurse by saying that's just how the director is, Tatsumi asks Nakajou about their afternoon appointments. She says she'll be fine to go after a little rest, but the nurse says she mustn't overexert herself.

After a few back and forths about who should go and the clients' needs/personality (picky about the vet, had a pet that doesn't like men, etc), Onodera says she will go. The nurses are shocked and reminisce about all the issues they've had when Onodera interacts with the owners. Tatsumi and Shizuma stand there, and can very clearly imagine those situations happening.

While Onodera rearranges and informs the nurses of the shift changes to accommodate Nakajou-sensei, Shizuma has a terrible premonition that unfortunately comes true: he is appointed as Onodera's support for the afternoon house calls.

Wearing a sulky expression, Shizuma packs the necessary equipment in Onodera's car and reminds her that he has a very important engagement that night that he cannot miss, and as such will leave immediately after the house call appointments are done. Onodera bursts his bubble, and tells him to give up on those plans while he can since this is the line of work he's chosen.

As Shizuma reads the client files, he questions Onodera on why he is her support when he's never attended to these clients before. While Onodera tells him that good coordination is important with a physician's support and that he's the only one she can rely on to give her an honest opinion and calm the clients, Shizuma realises that he's basically the mediator between her and the owners. She confirms that this is his strong point, has great expectations for him, and proceeds to drive. Shizuma then reads the patient files at lightning speed, realising there's a threatening 'something' that Minato has sensed, but that's just how the director is. He then vows to make it to their meeting tonight, no matter what.

The first three house calls, as expected, involve Onodera insulting and angering the owners--Onodera tells the first client that his insistence on seeing Nakajou rather than a 'young' director is having a negative effect on his pet who needs immediate medical care; Onodera offends the second client, inferring from their conversation that her pet's appearance is more important than the need to shave their fur and get an ultrasound done; Onodera accuses the third client of being irresponsible in caring for his exotic animals and asks for more effort on his part. In all three scenarios, Shizuma awkwardly smiles while trying to ease the tension.

The scene skips to Onodera and Shizuma arriving at their fourth and final house call for the day. Just as Onodera explains to Shizuma that she must check a whole host of things at house calls (and indirectly be too blunt about it with the owners), Shizuma asks her to consider the owner's feelings and change when and how she says things. She glares ahead in silence, and Shizuma is just glad that she is now aware of it. He again reminds her to talk with the owner nicely and gently as he probably won't be able to help with the next client as their pet dislikes men. Onodera tells him to just sit in the corner and witness the client become furious while he doesn't help, making him feel slightly guilty for saying that. He is now adament on not helping her.

They reach the owner's home and we meet an elderly woman named Shiratori and her 9-year-old male cat, Tono. Shiratori apologises to Shizuma as her cat doesn't like men. Tono hisses at them as Onodera opens his cage, but is then coaxed into submission by Onodera who covers his vision with a towel and takes him into her lap to calm down. Shiratori and Shizuma are surprised at his sudden docile nature, with Shizuma witnessing how well she deals with animals.

As Shizuma looks on at Onodera while she completes a check on Tono, he sees she is crumbling at the friendliness and talkative nature of Shiratori, who sings nothing but praise for Onodera and how her family must be proud to have such an amazing daughter. Aiming to ease her troubles and remembering the earlier guilt-trip she gave him, he redirects Shiratori's attention to her broken fly screen and offers to fix that plus everything else that needs repair in her home.

Onodera watches as the two leave the room for a bit before apologising to Tono for ignoring him. Tono looks on at Onodera happily while she asks him how he can live with such a lively human and to tell her his secret to this. She brings him into her arms once more to check his limbs, and as Tono looks up smiling at Onodera, Onodera sees her reflection in Tono's eyes, and both seem to realise something.

BG Text: Stare...

Suddenly, Shizuma and Shiratori, who are busy fixing the window, hear a loud crash and rush into the room to find Tono atop the cabinet and Onodera on the floor, with her hair in disarray. In the next panel, Tono is shown to be hiding in the bookshelf, looking on irritatingly at the humans. Shiratori apologises to Onodera, who shakes it off and says it's nothing to worry about and no harm's been done.

Shiratori asks if Onodera will fix/tie her hair up again, but when Onodera says her hair tie was broken when Tono used her as a launchpad to get on the cabinet, Shiratori runs to get her a new one. As Shiratori gushes over the 3 piece dopey looking character hair tie set she received as a present from her grandchild (and lets Onodera pick one), a greatly displeased look is plastered on Onodera's face. Shizuma, in shock, notices her displeasure and hopes she just thanks Shiratori for it. And Onodera does, bringing a great big smile to Shiratori's face.

As Onodera and Shizuma leave, Shiratori says she's glad to have talked with Onodera and invites her to come over again. As she says this, we see Onodera looking back with a blank look in her eyes.

And that’s it for this chapter! THANK YOU FOR READING THIS FAR! 💜 While I was surprised at the lack of Minato in this chapter (Sensei legit is such a tease, LOL 🤣), I'm happy we can learn more about Onodera. Ngl, I'm starting to really question if Onodera is male or female now, given what transpired in this chapter. I guess we shall see in the next one!

I also changed the formatting a bit and removed the bullet points. Please let me know which format is better/easier to read! Ahah!

EDIT: Spelling and grammar checks are done! Didn't change a lot, but hope it reads better! 💜

📢 As always, please support Hinohara-sensei by purchasing her books and CDs! 📢

And please also refrain from resharing these translations and images outside of this post! Thank you for understanding! ❤️💛

There won't be a chapter in next month's (September release) Dear+, so I shall see you in two months for the next chapter (Dear+ November Issue, to be released in October).

As always, stay safe during these turbulent times and look out for each other and for your loved ones! 💜❤️💛

[calliecastle10]

Ghostbusters: Afterlife and Autism in General but Specifically Young Girls

I fucking loved Ghostbusters: Afterlife. I felt seen in a movie for honestly one of the first times. Not only did I feel seen I felt like someone took the time to portray me in a way where I wasn’t a walking stereotype, or worse, the butt of every joke. 

Spoilers ahead.

So when we first meet Phoebe her mom is driving her to summer school and asking her how the jokes are coming along to help her make friends at her new school. She tells a very nerdy science joke about matter and atoms. Her big brother is embarrassed and decides to get out of the car and walk. 

This is where my joy with this movie begins.

Her mom wants her to have friends like every mom does, but she doesn’t try to change her daughter. She tries to help her daughter use those skills and talents to make friends. She tries to help her share her passion with potential new friends without shaming or belittling her.

When their science teacher Grooberson starts playing Cujo because none of them want to be there she starts wandering around the classroom, as well as meeting a kid named Podcast who is impressed by her knowledge and interviews her.

Grooberson is impressed by how much she knows and they start talking about the scientific details of the seismic waves in the town and how odd they are, considering the location and type of waves.  Here was a teacher who didn’t go “Oh god a kid who never shuts up and stops asking questions, she’s trying to out smart me” No, actually, quite the opposite. He was excited to babble with someone who had a passion for science like himself. He got to geek out with this girl and they could have a conversation.

When Grooberson, Podcast, and Phoebe open the ghost box with a school bus and talk about how dangerous science is I laughed at the joy on her face. She was being included. She was being ,made to feel welcome and part of the group. She felt valued and appreciated. Her knowledge was never blown off or seen as useless. 

At one point she tells Podcast:

“I don’t exhibit emotions the same way everyone else does.”

This was the point when I began crying. Because that is exactly how I feel all the time. I’m weird and I don’t know how to talk to people...I still want friends and to be included. 

She isn’t sure how to talk to people outside of anything but science but her knowledge comes into play when they go to fight the ghosts at the end. Everyone comes to respect her and value her knowledge more than they already did before, which was a lot.

I also felt so seen in the fight with Phoebe and her mom. Oh god, that fight. When Phoebe felt so hurt and angry that someone in her family was an avid scientist and no one told her. She felt so alone and unlike everyone else but she had someone she could look up to and had been denied this person.

(For me this was a metaphor about all the characters no one identifies as autistic or they try and make them the joke and we could have had better representation this whole time. Almost certainly wasn’t their goal but it was how I took that scene.)

I started sobbing when the (very well done) CGI of her grandfather (RIP Harold Ramis) was helping her hold the ghost gun, looking at his granddaughter with pride, and helping his friends to fight the ghosts. The look of pure pride on her grandfather Egon’s face sent me into sobs. He didn’t care his granddaughter was a little different, or that she wasn’t socially gifted. He was proud of her for helping fight evil and using her skills to save the day.

The pride from everyone at her ability to hold her own with these adults and be the one to realize what was wrong was something I can only hope I one day feel. She’s such a breath of fresh air and a joy and a delight. I loved her character. I want another movie with her again. 

Please give us more girls like her.

Yes, I love the Entraptas of the world and yes I love the growing representation being shown in these movies and TV shows but this is easily far and above, in my humble opinion as an autistic ENBY/female, the best presentation I’ve seen in my lifetime. She is a scientist and we should have autistic representation outside of that, but she is praised and welcomed for who she is.

That’s what we all want, neurodivergent or neurotypical.

(I suspect Dan Ackroyd had a huge part in her being so well written given his own autism diagnosis, and if he did, thank you sir. Thank you for making me feel seen.)