#and the OG L Word was better but still

[orange-is-the-new-degrassi]

Quiara x Shane > Carmen x Shane

[victimsofyaoipoll]

Finals

Propaganda Under Cut

Sakura Haruno

Her husband is gay and her author doesn't know how to write women. So many people say she's the worst but she. DESERVES. BETTER!!! Save her from this franchise.

My baby girl my bestie my best friend. She committed the crime of um being written by kishimoto who both doesn’t know how to write women and somehow writes men in the gayest way possible specifically naruto and sasuke. Like the thing is naruto and sasuke ARE gay and also she gets so much hate for the crime of kishimoto writing her one dimensionally in love with sasuke. I know her personally she is a butch lesbian to me just trust me she’s in love with Ino and has a lesbian thing going on with Karin okay just trust me. My everything. She needs to divorce the loveless lavender marriage she’s in 

What is there to say, even? The OG Threat to my 90s anime brain, the only woman I've ever hated with such a passion she made me turn away from the color pink. I used to write fics with my friend where she got left behind on purpose so our OCs could join the Naruto and Sasuke team instead. I loathed this bitch until I was 16 and realized the author simply couldnt write women and decided it was time to make peace with Sakura. It is not her fault she's vaguely written and obsessive over Sasuke. She deserves better. Sasuke and Naruto still should be together and Sakura shouldnt be with Sasuke but I no longer believe this because I hate Sakura, it is because I love her. She deserves a spouse who will actually put in the time to treat her like the hero she is.

Misa Amane

she gets treated in-canon the way fandoms treat female characters that Threaten an m/m ship. it's like, "oh why don't you go sit in the corner and be pretty, misa, while the Men have intelligent conversation and pretend they aren't ten seconds from fucking each other, doesn't that sound nice?" it's infuriating. and MAYBE it's better now but i remember her getting treated the same way in fanfiction too, like we all need to do just as badly by our female secondary characters as fucking tsugumi ohba, but with the added insult of making her be alternately oblivious of the relationship between light and L or actively trying to sabotage it—incompetently, of course, because god forbid misa be allowed dignity or moments of cleverness.

she's one of the first characters I think of when I consider old school fandom misogyny. The annoying bitch and clingy crazy gf allegations were AFTER HER ASS. She's also a lot more intelligent than people gave her credit for, but most seem inclined to take the Very Biased word of our unreliable, narcissistic narrator and his homoerotic arch nemesis and claim that just because she's bubbly and into romance that she's also a complete moron. Which is blatantly untrue. Everyone was afraid of Misa girlbossing too hard. Killing people and devoting yourself to the deranged twink of your dreams even though you know he'll never love you back??? Having a hardcore goth aesthetic and being so Hot even literal Death Gods are into you?? God forbid women do ANYTHING!

Not only is she the victim of yaoi culture, she is the victim of early 2000s misogyny by an author that wanted to introduce a girl character because he knew his male rivals were getting too homoerotic. She is a goth bimbo icon who portrays what I think is one of the few callouts for stan culture and what parasocial relationships can do to both the stan and the idol. The fact that she is a toxic fan of Kira and also hot, funny, sociable is tragic in its own way, which I think the author did try to touch on but was too misogynistic too really get through. Of course, she was reduced to villain status by the fandom and anime alike because she got in the way of the supposed romance in their psychological horror anime

[devildomditzy]

Mammon SFW A-Z

🎂Happy birthday to my beautiful jpeg husband

🎂 I ain’t even gonna lie this is so rushed 😭 but I wanted to get something out for his birthday in time!

🎂 This is more so based off of OG game Mammon and not Nightbringer Mammon

🎂 SFW besides some cursing

🎂 A-Z template by tumblr user @/the-coldest-goodbye

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

He has a very hard time showing affection in a public setting. Even in front of his brothers, he sometimes panics - getting all red in the face - which usually ends with him denying his feelings for you or outright insulting you (why would he want to be with a stupid human anyways?, etc.)

In private, he is the most annoying motherfucker you have to peel him off of you most days. Earlier into the relationship, it was shy touches mixed with blushing. Now that you’re comfortable with each other, you have 0 personal space. Because hey, what’s yours is his - and that includes your bubble, right MC?

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

We already know the answer to this one, as he was literally written in game to be the ‘best friend’ archetype. Mammon starts crass and rude, acting like you’re a bother and he’d rather be anywhere else but next to you. Your friendship starts once Lucifer assigns him to be your guardian. Though he acted like he hated it, Mammon quickly became fond of you. Now you’re his inseparable partner in crime.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

The minute you are home from RAD and you both have changed out of your uniforms, he’s pulling you into his room, on to his bed, and not letting go of you. Sometimes he doesn’t even wait for you to change. He’s clingy, okay! Why would you wanna be anywhere else but layin’ with him?

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

Mammon already feels like you are. His home is the HOL, with his brothers. And now, his home includes you. It’s his ideal scenario.

Plus he doesn’t have to pay rent.

He can be good at both tasks if he actually applies himself, but only seems to do it if you specifically ask him to. If Lucifer asks him to cook or clean, the room still feels dirty and everything is burnt. You almost think he does it on purpose.

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

Listen-

He literally couldn’t.

Once you and Mammon are together, he can’t see a future without you. He can’t see his life without you.

If it was ever broken off, it would be a scenario where he means well, thinking you would be happier or safer, generally better off without him.

But he is greed and even the thought of it upsets him to no end.

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

The boy cried watching Cinderella ofc he wants to get married! But he couldn’t imagine to whom until you came into his life. Something just clicked for him. You’re his best friend, his partner in crime, you’re his. I don’t think it would be quick, as a matter of fact he’s way too tsundere for that. But he’s sure once he’s ready, it’ll definitely be you.

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

It depends! So we know he’s the second strongest, so in that regard if he wants to be he can be far from gentle. But when it comes to you and his brothers, he consciously trying to be softer. Emotionally? Boys a wreck. A huge softie. Please hold him.

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

Once again, please hold him. Even if he acts like he hates it sometimes, your hugs are something he looks forward to. When he feels awkward in public he’ll give you one of those weird barely touching you side hugs. But in private? Have fun trying to get him off you.

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

So we know canonically when this happens (I believe it was around end of season one of the og game?) and we know he says it plenty after that. We don’t have an exact way to know how much time passes between episodes, but you can assume it took about a year as that was the end of MC’s exchange program originally.

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

Ooooooooh while he may not be like Levi embodying envy, when it comes to you he’s ridiculously jealous. He’s your ‘first’, remember? If it’s something that’s making him jealous relating to his brothers (i.e. hanging out with someone other than him), he’ll pretend he doesn’t care to the point of being a giant dick about it, inadvertently showing he actually does care a lot.

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

Honestly? Most of the time they’re timid and shy. He holds you in the highest regard, he adores you though he may not show it very well. You still make him blush like crazy and his stomach still stirs every time he looks at you.

Other times they’re possessive and passionate, he is the avatar of greed after all. But really, his style depends whether or not you take the lead.

His favorite place to get kissed is the neck/collarbone area

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

Another one we canonically know! He’s great with them. He probably the most emotionally intelligent of his brothers and actually cares greatly about the things that matter to him. His brothers and you are everything to him, but that little girl back in the human realm that he takes care of? She means the world to him too. He’d be devastated if something happened to her. Meeting you, the thought of having your own child pops into his head every now and again, and it makes his heart melt. But whether or not you have children is something he leaves entirely up to you, not pressuring or pushing you about it. All in all, he’s a natural at taking care of them.

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

If it’s a school day, most the times Lucifer forces you both to sleep separately in your own rooms. He’ll knock on your door at the same time everyday to walk you down to breakfast with the others, and then off to school. It’s very routine.

If it’s a lazy day, or a weekend, he’s clingy. Have fun trying to get him out of bed, and if he has anything to say about it, you won’t be doing anything productive either.

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

School nights are spent having to be separated most of the time per Lucifer’s rules which Mammon says are ‘totally unfair’ and ‘dumb’ and whatever other negative thing he can think of. But he’s going to call you. Relentlessly even, if you don’t pick up right away. He’ll talk your ear off into the night until one of you falls asleep on the other line of the phone.

Weekend nights are spent out on the town, he wants to go to places like casinos and The Fall, so if you let him drag you along too, he’s elated.

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

Since he puts up such a front with his feelings, it’s hard for him to get really mushy or personal. Once he begins to trust you more (and fall for you) the speed at which he tells you everything quickens, and he becomes an open book.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

He seems to be easily angered by his brothers teasing him, but knowing him as well as you do, you can tell he’s never really actually mad at them. He could never be. The only time you’ll see him actually get mad is if something happens to you or one of them.

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

He’ll pretend like he doesn’t remember every single little detail you’ve told him, but mentally he’s taking notes every time you open your mouth. He hangs off your every word, so he knows things ranging from general facts about you to your most deep, personal secrets. And he won’t forget a single word (even if he may act like he did)

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

Mammon’s favorite moment in your relationship was your first trip to Devil’s Coast together. He’s honestly not even sure if you considered that a date, since you were actively looking for Lucifer and Diavolo, but he certainly does. No. 2’s commentary didn’t help at all. He gets embarrassed when he thinks about it, but he loves it all the same. He keeps the picture you took together in his wallet.

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

He was literally assigned to essentially be your own demon bodyguard, so yes, he’s very protective of you. At first it was because it was an obligation, then it was because he was intrigued with you, and it quickly morphed into because he’s in love with you.

He’s shocked anytime you stand up for him or defend him in anyway. He’s not used to his brothers defending him in conversations, and is surprised to see you do it. Honestly, he feels like he doesn’t deserve it because of how much he looks down on himself. And you’re this tiny human stepping up to the plate, sometimes risking your life for him? Honestly he finds it hot.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

The most try hard that ever tried hard. Even if he tries to pretend what he’s doing for you is a favor, or the gift he got you was nothing special, it’s always something ridiculously couriered to you and your tastes, or something you physically said you wanted out loud. You could have said you wanted something three months ago. A year ago even. But he’ll always remember and always make sure you get it one way or another.

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

He’s literally the avatar of greed, so obviously there’s that. He can lose control sometimes when it comes to grim, or his obsession with both his belongings and with you.

But, I think Mammon’s worst bad habit is how negatively he thinks about himself. You’ll always need to check in on him from time to time to make sure he’s not spiraling in his mind. But when he does, you’re the best person to pull him out of it.

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

He’s concerned to a degree being a model and all, but definitely nowhere near Asmo standards of vanity. He’s the kind of person who always looks good without trying. The most effort he’ll put into anything is his outfits, especially if it’s an outfit he’s wearing to go out with you. Besides that, he’s not too concerned.

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

His world would shatter.

Now that he’s met you, and now that he’s almost lost you countless of times, he could never ever see a future for himself that doesn’t have you in it.

He doesn’t want any future without you in it.

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

He goes through your things. With good intentions of course!!! Why would you think anything else??

Okay maybe at first it was to sell your stuff. But now that he’s with you, he only does it to see what you’re into at the moment so he can gauge the best gift he can get for you, or what date he can take you out to.

He lives for the sparkle in your eye that you get when he does that kind of stuff, so while not an amazing thing to do, his looking is not malicious.

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

He doesn’t like people who are assholes for no reason. Sure, he can see why someone would act aggressively if he knows the why they are, but if they’re just doing it to do it or for some self serving reason, he dislikes them.

And though he is a model, he also doesn’t like people who are too full of themselves. He’s already got an Asmo at home, why would he need another one of em’?

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)

He is terrible at falling asleep.

And even worse at waking up.

He becomes accustomed to staying out late or just talking to you late into the night, so his sleep cycle is horrendous.

Once he does fall asleep, have fun trying to wake him up. We all know how great that went for Levi when he was trying to get his figure back :)

[devildomcuties]

Golden ││ Levi ││

thank you for sending in this request :)

pairing: levi x f. reader

genre: established relationship, smut 18+

summary: Mammon poured all of the Golden Hellfire Newt Syrup into the soup, and now Levi wants you to stay as far away from him as possible. Do you listen? Of course not!

wc: 2.3k

warnings: spoilers ahead! ch. 21-ch. 22, dialogue from the OG game to set the scene, also yes, the banner has honey but I couldn't find gold syrup, insecurity (levi), levi is somewhat still under the influence of the syrup, making out, grinding, handjob, oral sex, hickeys, jealousy, cock slapping, degradation, demon!levi, facial, cum eating, levi uses his tail to keep your hands together

date: August 16, 2024

“Listen, love… Whatever you do, stay away from my room!” Levi explains, his cheeks flushing pink. “You got that?! Stay away!”

Levi’s words circle your mind as you leave Asmo’s bedroom after being interrupted by Lucifer. When did you become a delivery person for the House of Lamentation anyway?

Lucifer takes his leave after walking you to Levi’s bedroom, and you focus on Levi’s secret phrase, getting it correctly on the first try. After some praise from the third eldest, he allows you to enter his bedroom.

Levi stands nervously in front of you, his hands tucked in his pants pockets, eyes wide as he exclaims, “Ah, but wait! Stop right there!”

You come to a stop, surprised at the volume of his voice as the door shuts behind you, automatically locking to keep his brothers out.

“Don’t move! Not another step!” Levi shouts, covering his blushing face with his hand. Oh, no what was he going to do with you so close? Your sweet scent was already making his head spin, and the thoughts that ran through his head were anything but innocent.

“What if the Gold Hellfire Newt Syrup kicks in, huh? Wh-What then?” he stutters, cheeks aflame. He’s so nervous, so embarrassed, and blurts, “Like, I might lose control of myself and just… make a move on you!”

You’re silent as you approach him, wanting to ease his worries but he places his hand over his cheeks briefly, trying to hide his embarrassment. 

“Listen to me. Don’t come any closer, okay? No closer!” He warns as you set the package from Akuzon aside and take a few more steps toward him. You should listen to him, or perhaps leave but your first instinct is to offer comfort. You’ve been away from him for so long. You missed him dearly, and you just want to make everything better.

“What if I s-start acting like Asmo, all l-lewd and taken over by lust and…” Levi shakes his head furiously. The idea of acting like the Avatar of Lust makes his heart race. He would never be able to deal with the absolute humiliation it would cause when he comes to his senses.

“Aaaaaaah! I don’t even want to think about it!” Levi seems to go through all seven stages of grief as you remain silent in front of him. You want to reach out to him but you’re afraid it may make things worse.

Perhaps you should heed his advice and head to your bedroom.

“I trust you, Levi,” you tell him sincerely when he finally settles long enough for you to get a word in. 

“Love, I know you’re probably just saying that to make me feel better. Still, even if you don’t really mean it, I appreciate it.” Levi nods solemnly. “I sort of don’t trust myself right now…”

You give Levi space as he paces back and forth in his bedroom. Everyone has been affected by the syrup so differently but Levi seems to be most flustered by it. Perhaps since he knew from the start what it could do, what it meant for you.

“I mean, it’s not like you came back here to see me. Pfft, as if! Why would someone be interested in some otaku who hides in his room all day? You probably think I’m gross!” Levi rants as he tugs at his hair, and your heart sinks. 

You hated that he talked so negatively about himself, especially when you loved him so, just as he was. If only he could see himself like you saw him; if he knew that your love was true, that it was pure.

There would be battles Levi would have to face himself, like his self-image and insecurities, but that didn’t mean you couldn’t stand beside him through it all. You wanted to ease his worries and know that he was who you wanted and loved with all your heart.

“You should know, I actually missed you!” You state truthfully. You spent a lot of your time thinking about him, wondering if he was getting enough sleep, and having his meals, and hoping Mammon would ease off him a bit.

“As if you’d actually miss seeing me, pfft!” Levi immediately retorts with a snort. However before you can assure him, he crosses the distance between you, throwing his arms around you. Finally!

He apologizes, pink cheeks warm under the palms of your hands as you cup his face. 

“It’s like my body’s moving on its own…” he whispers confused. “Oh, no. Oh, no. This isn’t like me! Love, give me an order!”

You’re startled by his volume, panic clear in his tone as he tries to hold back his urges. 

“It doesn’t matter what it is!” He shouts. “Just tell me to do something, quick!” 

“Kiss me,” you order feeling bashful. 

“Why couldn’t you have made it something easier?!” Levi whines as his cheeks burn hotter under your hands. “Okay, here goes…”

Levi kisses you softly, shyly at first.

“Now suddenly all I want to do is keep going and move on to more high-level stuff…!” Levi admits, his ears now burning red. “I’ve been missing you ever since you left, you know? Every single day…”

You hold his hands in yours, admitting that you missed him as well.

“I have to make up for all of that time. And since you’re the one who ordered me to kiss you…” Levi kisses you again, taking your lead as you guide his hands to your waist. His hands shake as he grabs hold of you, moaning when your tongue slips past the seam of his lips.

“Love,” he moans as he steps back, feeling the syrup’s effects wear off somewhat. He wipes his brow, panting heavily. “I thought I was going to have a heart attack…”

You giggle, pulling him closer to you. He trips but grabs hold of your hips to steady himself. 

You moan at the rough touch, kissing him before he can stutter an apology. You’ve missed him dearly and you wanted to spend time with him, everyone else be damned. 

When the two of you pet for a much-needed breath, you shut off your DDD and his, wanting no interruptions when you devour him whole. 

“Fuck,” you curse as his hands slide under your shirt, moving upwards slowly to cup your breasts over your bra. 

You press your lips to him, nipping his bottom lip as his fingers tremble when they reach the hooks of your bra. He struggles for a moment to undo them, but he does so with ease. 

“I-I’ve been practicing,” he admits with rose-tinted cheeks. “I wanted to be better for your return.”

“With who?” you raise a brow, jealousy growing inside you.

“N-no one! I-I swear!” Levi quickly responds, stuttering as cold sweat beads on his forehead. His cheeks turn bright red as he points to his desk. On the flat surface, three little bra extenders sit connected by the hooks.

You giggle as your jealousy dissipates. You coo at Levi, kissing him to ease his embarrassment. It takes him a moment to relax, his heart racing as you deepen the kiss.

Levi normally allows you to take the lead, but he’s missed you so much, and remnants of the syrup still linger in his body. Perhaps that's the bit of courage he needs to tug you towards him, his hands moving from your hips down to your ass.

“Levi,” his name escapes you in a sweet moan that makes his cock throb. He silences you with his lips, squeezing your ass before he leads you to the bathtub.

It's large enough to fit the two of you comfortably. 

You waste no time straddling him, your hands grip his hair to give it a firm tug. Your name rolls off his tongue in a wanton moan that makes you pulsate.

Levi nips your bottom lip as his hands move to your shirt, tugging on it until you raise your arms over your head. He takes it off you and tosses it somewhere in his bedroom.

Slowly, Levi kisses his way down to your neck, biting and sucking to leave his mark behind. He groans when your fingers weave through his hair, gently tugging as his face settles between your breasts. 

Levi’s tongue is hot against your skin as he licks one breast and then the other. 

“I-I’ve missed you so much,” he stutters with a tiny smile before he takes one pert nipple into his mouth. His nails drag down your sides, his hips rising to meet yours as you unbutton your pants.

“Levi,” you breathe as you hold him to your chest, rolling your hips against his. Levi curses, his demon form threatening to come out if things continue to heat up. You’d think he’d have better control over it by now.

Your hands make quick work of his clothes before you strip down to your panties. The two of you pant as you look at each other; cheeks flush, and bashful smiles.

“Lie down,” You demand as you push Levi down by his broad shoulders. He was ripped, something that made you drool. 

Levi eyes you shyly as you kiss him again, moaning softly before you trail kisses down his chest. Your tongue runs over his abs, leaving little marks on his skin as you palm his cock over his boxers.

“Fuck, baby,” Levi groans as his eyes flutter shut, his hands gripping the sheets beneath him as you tug his boxers down his thighs.

Levi covers his mouth with his hand.  Your eyes sparkle when you see his thick cock. You wrap your hand around him, spitting on the head.

Levi’s sure he’s going to bust before you even get his dick in your pretty little mouth.

A surge of confidence fills him for a moment, encouraged by the hungry look in your eye. Levi wraps his hand around his cock, spreading your spit up and down his length. Your eyes follow his movements closely, nearly drooling as you move your face closer to it.

You ignore the slight ache on your knees as you press your hands to your thighs, feeling your panties grow wetter by the second.

Levi presses the head of his cock to your lips. You kiss it, swirling your tongue around it after. Chuckling, Levi shakes his head.

“Show me your tongue,” he commands, and you do so eagerly. Levi praises you, smacking his cock on your tongue a few times before rewarding you with his length.

You suck his dick, flicking your tongue on the underside before teasing the slit. Levi curses. His eyes squeeze shut as you take him further into your mouth, only pulling off when you gag and gasp for breath.

Levi watches as you lick up one side of his cock and down the other, rolling his balls in your hand before moving downward and taking them in your mouth.

“Fuck, I missed you,” he groans as you bob up and down on his length. He hits the back of your throat and sees stars. 

You don’t ease up, sucking, slurping, kissing, licking as he threads his fingers in your hair. Levi is filled with pleasure, feeling euphoric as you choke on his cock like the little slut you are. 

You have one hand rubbing between your legs, and the other grips Levi’s thigh to support yourself as you continue to suck his cock and balls. He’s a mess of salvia and precum but you seem unbothered as you pop off him to catch a breath.

Levi strokes your hair with one hand. The other he uses to slap his cock on your cheek until you open your mouth to welcome him in once more.

“Just like that, baby. You look so cute sucking my fat cock,” he smirks as his body grows hotter, his eyes rolling to the back of his head as you choke on him once more.

Levi moans your name, warning you that he’s about to cum but you continue to suck him off, ignoring the ache in your jaw.

You take him deep in your mouth, your nose pressed to his pelvis as you meet his gaze. You feel something wrap around your calf, realizing Levi has released his demon form as he loses control of himself. His tail is wrapped around you, needing to feel you close as you swallow around him, causing him to nearly growl before he pulls out of your mouth.

“You’re mine,” he grunts as he strokes his cock. You nod, agreeing wholeheartedly as you feel the warmth of his release land on your cheek, lips, and chin.

Levi groans as he finishes, milking every last drop of cum from his cock. 

You giggle as you stare up at him.

Levi kisses you, tasting himself on your lips and tongue.

“Let’s take care of you, okay?” he asks as he uses two fingers to swipe the cum off your cheek, pressing it to your lips. You welcome his fingers into your mouth eagerly, licking and sucking them clean as he smirks.

“Can’t help yourself, huh? Such a cum-hungry slut,” Levi chuckles before he kisses you again. You tug his bottom lip, making him whine before you release him.

Levi licks the cum off your chin, giggling at the surprised look that crosses your face.

Without another word, Levi has you underneath him in the tub. Your hands are pinned in front of you, held together by his tail before he settles between your legs, placing each one on his shoulders.

“Levi!” you exclaim when he tugs you towards him, his tongue running up your wet folds.

“You’ve had your fun, love. Now it’s my turn,” Levi grins as he licks his lips, tasting you on them. You’re excited to see this side of Levi, though you’re not sure how much of a role the Golden Hellfire Newt Syrup will play in your relationship in the future, you’d enjoy Levi’s confidence while it lasts.

Who knows, perhaps you’d venture into it again.

© devildomcuties - I do not allow reposts or translations of my work on any platforms.

[stickyspeckledlight]

𝒲𝐻𝒪𝒟ℛ𝒜𝒩𝒦𝐼𝒯? KFC‧₊˚❀༉‧₊˚: A Shitpost Of the Whodrankit? DEMO by @brynn-lear

Content warnings: Shitpost :3

DOWNLOAD THE GAME HERE (Available on PC, Linux, Mac, Android, and Web Browser!)

Link to better quality cutscenes because I had to really compress them to save on storage y'know

Unfortunately for you, thanks to the shenanigans of eminent domain, you have been left without a house. However, luckily for you, local bourgeois Senator Sunday has offered you his home. Seeing little choice in the matter, you take up his offer...

However, in the corner of your eye, a Colonel stands, and you can't help but wonder what he wants from you...

What is this?

This is a mod/fangame of HSR fangame Whodrankit? demo by @brynn-lear! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE go play it first!!! And after that THEN you can come play this one!

No I mean what is this specifically you know

This mod is a shitpost hypothetical of a scenario where you can agree to Sunday's offer. Included is: 2 endings (Depending if you are nice to customer service people or not lol) ~30k words 7 (joke) endings Bad jokes Bad and disappointing story because I felt obligated to make some sort of plot even though none of it really works but hey I put in all of the jokes I wanted so there's a silver lining at least

How is this connected to the OG WDI? demo?

This is mostly its own thing; the only things that are referenced from WDI itself in this game is the general plot (minus the mystery, bc Idk what any of that shit's about) and well, the assets and stuff. This has absolutely no connection to WDI itself and is NOT canon---Brynn, the OG dev, had no real involvement in the development of this mod beyond making the base game which provided the base assets and original premise this mod is derived from.

Was this the other big project/sunday fic you were talking about

Yes! I started work on this in late June and worked on it on and off for a few months.

why

I wanted to punch Whodrankit?! Sunday and then made this

I come to your for yandere fanfic not shitposts

L bozo

What are the credits?

Credits are in the Readme doc attached to the game zip file; and also follow all of the credits from the OG Whodrankit? plus some more stuff. I acknowledge this game is violating all manner of copyright but I'm already writing fanfic and this'll probably only get 60 notes or something so I'm sure it'll be fine. Pls don't D**A me random big company.

ADDITIONAL NOTES

(BROWSER AND ANDROID VERSION NOW AVALIABLE) I do not plan on making a new WDI? mod; this mod it of itself just spiraled out of control. Though, if there's enough interest, I might release updates for the KFC mod if there is enough interest. Maybe as a Follower Milestone thing or if this gets a decent amount of interaction lol. Still, please do not expect updates or new WDI? mods from me, or request any whatsoever. New WDI? KFC! content will be entirely at my own discretion unless I state otherwise (as mentioned earlier if I choose to make WDI? KFC! related content a follower milestone, for example). But I'm always open to discussing it bc shitposts deserve to be shit on 🔥

[mysticficti0n]

can't help but miss you

Tom Kaulitz x Y/n Y/l/n

anonymous- I have a request, obvi you don’t have to do! Maybe like a 2023 smut with Tom Kaulitz( him and Heidi are dating not engaged) Reader and Tom had a thing/dating when he was younger/ aka when he had the dreads and they reunite at a party and the reader is like so pretty like model type and she’s like maybe a little younger than Tom and when they meet each others eyes Tom can’t seem to stop looking at her and like Heidi asks him what’s wrong but he just shrugs it off and later on when Heidi went to go get a drink or something the reader walks up to him and they end up going to the restroom and the smut happens… and then Heidi runs into him after but reader alr left and shit. ALSO I LOVE YOUR STORIES OFC YOU DONT HAVE TO ANSWER THIS REQUEST

No I absolutely love this- the worst thing fucking happened I deleted the wrong concept (baso I had two of these like a story set out and a write up and I deleted the write up x_x) but I re-wrote it and hopefully its better than the OG one ❤️

(smut/fluff)

people under 16+ please don't interact, if you do it's not my problem you've been warned!

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warnings- cheating, toxic relationship, fingering, sex, ownership, hair pulling, swearing, rough/smut into fluff, drugs are mentioned

words- 4k

(oh this is your outfit btw just without the gloves- black n white dress)

The music was blaring as I walked into my old friend Gustav's 35th birthday party, I wasn't expecting a blow out like this but I mean when I herd Bill was in charge it didn't fully surprise me, I looked around and everyone was dressed in black and white as we were told on the invitations. I turned to Beth my sister who'd been invited too and she was already laughing and smiling with some women, I carried on through the venue telling her I'd catch up with her later on

I saw some people I recognised but I'm nearly 15 years older now, freshly 31 years old, I turned around a corner and saw the smiling faces of three of my old best friends "Holy shit! Y/n oh my god!" Bill ran over pulling me into a hug- his hugs I've missed for years "you look amazing!" he let go and I gave him a spin

"you two! look at this outfit- Bill you never dress badly I swear to god" he giggled grabbing my hand and pulling me to the group

"look who it is" Georg smiled pulling me into a hug and I held him back "its been so long!"

"I know, ten years... shit thirteen I think since we last saw each other" I shook my head in disbelief at how the time has flown by, when we all last knew each other Tokio Hotel was going on their biggest tour and I was just getting big in the modelling world- now I'm one of the top models and they still do crazy big tours around the world "Gustav! happy birthday!" I called seeing him come to me and hugging me like the other two

"hey- I didn't even know you were coming! thank you by the way" he smiled- he looked different- they all did but none bad "how's life?"

"pretty good, Beth moved in with me not long ago, mom and dad are doing well and jobs just keeping me busy, how about you I herd you had a baby! what the fuck" a smile creeped onto his face as he pulled out his phone showing me all the pictures of the small girl and how she's already so grown up "god she's beautiful"

"just like her mom" he chirped pulling a women forward "Linda this is Y/n, childhood friend" a brown haired women stepped forward giving me a smile- she was beautiful. Our conversation continued till I felt a tap at my shoulder and I I saw him for the first time since we'd split back in 2010, his hair wasn't in long black braids, clothes not baggy and lip piercing still there no- his hair was brown and blonde waved and around his head, in black slacks and matching button, lip pricing gone "holy shit! hey!" Tom's arms closed around me giving me a huge hug, tighter than the rest

"Hi, fuck it's been so long!" he hummed into my hair pulling away but his hands still holding my arms "you look amazing!" I smiled hearing his voice again

"you too! the hair is new" he nodded playing with the ends like a kid "my god I can't believe I haven't seen you guys since I was like 19, its crazy" everyone said a string of 'yeah' and 'fuck its been long' but were interrupted by a voice that called Tom away, I looked to see a tall blonde women who I immediately recognised, Heidi Klum

"oh Y/n this is my girlfriend- Heidi this is-" the women stepped forward and grinned

"Y/n Y/l/n right? I saw you in vogue, you looked gorge in that red lace" I nodded feeling flattered a model like her had seen me but then it clicked GIRLFRIEND?- I would never have expected it

"lovely to meet you- I've seen some of your shoots and you're beautiful, especially " she blushed grabbing my hand. we kept talking till my sister came over and pulled me to go get drinks and I waved to the group

TOM'S POV-

My jaw could've fallen off when I saw her, she was even more pretty then before and I didn't even know that was possible, her hair looked perfect around her face, longer than before, make up made her look sexier than I could even imagine, her eyes were lighter than the smokey eyes she'd do daily, and the dress- god how it went around her thighs and fit her curves perfectly

I couldn't help but feel my heart skip when I looked over at her, I had to stop, I have Heidi but... but I couldn't.

the night went on but I couldn't stop thinking about Y/n- every memory of her, remembering those feelings that were flooding back from 13 years ago- the time I made the worst mistake

-flashback-

"are you fucking serious? what are you talking about?" Y/n spoke staring at her boyfriend who was leaning on the kitchen counter staring at the girl, eyes had dark circles around them, lips looked dry

"we should break up-" Toms voice was strong but he was falling apart inside, hearing those words come from his mouth felt like stabs to his heart

"Tom what the fuck!" the girls voice got louder and she slammed her bags into the floor, Y/n had just got off work and was more then excited to get home- it was Friday meaning date night but came home to see loads beer bottles thrown in the bin on the drive and cigaret boxes hiding between them "what happened within the 6 hours I was gone. you.. you were saying how much you loved me this morning and kissing me and now- now you want to break up?" her voice cracked even mentioning breaking up, she loved him more than life its self and had for the last 3 years they'd been dating, he helped her buy her first house, spent Christmas and birthdays together- why did he want to end it? is all she could think of

"well I was wrong and- I didn't mean any of that shit, I don't fucking love you... I haven't for years" his voice slurred. Y/n thought she'd faint, years?

"you're drunk- ah don't even deny it I saw the bottles Tom" he rolled his eyes walking to the door where she was stood and went to open it "what are you doing?" her voice quivered "Tom what are you doing... Tom please what are you doing!" she started to yell as he just stood over her looking to the door "TOM PLEASE WHAT ARE YOU DOING!" she broke down grabbing his shirt and trying to pull him to look down "TOM! TOM LOOK AT ME! FUCK SAKE JUST LOOK AT ME TOM!" she screamed and the boy looked down seeing her, mascara running down her face, eyes full of tears and screams leaving her mouth but his mind was a blur with the mix of alcohol, tobacco, weed and the pure sadness he felt, he felt he was slipping from reality

"Y/n let go-" he spoke calmly "you need to let go of me" his voice began to shake as he tried to pry the girl off him

"NO! NO WHAT HAPPENED! WHAT DID I DO TOM PLEASE FUCKING TELL ME, DON'T JUST LEAVE!" Y/n poked her finger into his chest and again he just walked back into the kitchen and to the fridge pulling another beer out "stop drinking- just tell me!" she stormed to the kitchen and snatched the bottle from his hand

"you did nothing Y/n-" the girl argued back but he soon cut her off "Y/N I FUCKING CHEATED OKAY- I CHEATED ON YOU" he caught himself of guard screaming at her pointing his finger in her face and slamming his first onto the table, she cowered down but soon her eyes narrowed

"YOU FUCKING CHEATED!" with the bottle in hand the girl threw it toward the boy missing his face by inches she watched it smash onto the wall and explode "WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU CHEAT ON ME? WAS I NOT ENOUGH FOR YOU? DID I NOT GIVE YOU ENOUGH?"

"YOU WERE ENOUGH GOD DAMN IT YOU'RE EVERYTHING TO ME Y/N- I FUCKING LOVE YOU, I DON'T KNOW WHY I DID IT OKAY!" the boy shouted back but Y/n wasn't having it she started finding anything she could and throwing it at him, oranges, keys, glasses, soap bottles you name it, she threw it

"YOU PEICE OF SHIT DON'T TELL ME YOU LOVE ME! YOU WOULDN'T CHEAT IF YOU LOVED ME AND YOU JUST FUCKING SAID YOU HAVEN'T LOVED ME IN YEARS" her heart began to shatter at the sight of him to the point she had to hold on to the counter- the same counter they'd make dinner together on and celebrate birthdays drink together, he'd sometimes lift her onto it and they kiss for hours on end, Tom walked over to the girl grabbing her hand she wanted to let go but she couldn't not with the way her head was, the world was spinning and she felt she'd fall any second

"I'm sorry- Y/n I'm sorry I don't know why I did it please I- I can't even look at myself without feeling like I've destroyed the one thing I love so much- I still love you Y/n, I never for a second of any year stopped, I don't know why I said what I said, I never stopped loving you but I can't be with you- not after what I've done" tears fell from the couples eyes as they stood there

"you have fucked me over Tom- I fucking loved you, I'd do anything for you and I get this? you said you'd marry me, we'd have a family, grow old, watch life become better together ; why did you ruin this?" her hands pounded on his chest with every word "you have ruined me- everything was going so well and I want you to know what ever happens next- is your fault" her words stung like hell, he could only stare and regret everything he ever did with that women.. why did he let his old ways get in the way "fuck you Tom- get the fuck out of my house- I never wanna see you ever fucking again, come get your shit tomorrow when I'm not here and I don't want to hear from you again" and with that the two never spoke again, never saw each other again and the feelings just faded with the years

-end of flashback-

now I'm standing here watching her dance around to her old favourite songs and sing like she always did around the house- god I missed her so much. I still felt a pain when I saw her, when we broke up I saw her in magazines, tv, posters, everywhere and would need to smoke straight after and drink something strong to try pull my mind from her- Y/n Y/ln

"hun whats wrong are you okay?" Heidi tapped me, pulling me from my thoughts

"huh- oh yeah I'm good just looking for Georg" I lied seeing her nod and she quickly said she was going to the bar with some friends and walked away, my eyes drifted back to Y/n, laughing with people we knew back in the days but soon I realised she wasn't looking at them- she was looking at-at me. she waved of the group and came to me with the same grin I remember being in love with

"hey! are you alright you seem a bit- gone" I rolled my eyes seeing the girl laugh "or was my dancing just that amazing?"

"oh of course" I chuckled seeing her start dancing again "wow you could be a professional" she stopped taking a sip of her drink and placing the empty cup on the side "I can't believe its been thirteen years" I sighed seeing her nod

"yeah- last time I saw you was erm.. when we broke up" a awkward laugh escaped her lips "fun times"

"yeah- I wanna apologise for it- I... the way I did it was stupid I was drinking and smoking because I thought it would make it easier but fuck it only made things so much worse and- and I'm sorry Y/n" the girl looked to me, her doe eyes softening and a smile spreading back along her red lips

"thank you...you know for the next two years after we broke up I sometimes wondered if you'd come home or just come see me you know- In a way I'm glad you didn't but god I missed you" I felt my heart swell- I did Dave past her house arguing with myself just to go knock the door, or call her and say I needed her... but I could never bring myself to do it

"I wanted to but I didn't want a orange pelted at me" I played she giggled again hitting my arm "see you can't stop hitting me!"

"shut up Thomas" hearing my nickname nearly knocked me out "god I haven't said that in a while"

"...I fucking missed you" I caught myself of guard, her y/c/e shot into my gaze and I felt my breath hitch, but I wasn't some dumb teen anymore I wanted to tell her everything"I- I miss everything about us- the dates, your voice, the long nights we'd be up talking, making dinner, singing songs, dance at parties, hold each other, spend holidays together- fuck I miss our..." I halted deciding if it was right to say, Y/n gave me a small nod and with a single breath it came out "I miss our sex- nobody is as good or understands me the way you did and it sounds crazy but fuck its true- I miss you Y/n- I regret everything" her eyes seemed glassy but everything I said was true

"I- I miss it all too, no one is like you- nobody treats me like you did, I- I miss you fucking every day I try to ignore it but 15 years I still think about you, I'm happy we moved on but I want you back... as stupid as that sounds" it was like the world only had us in it- my mind could only focus on her I wanted to kiss her- god kissing Y/N was like a dream come true for me. Every time we locked lips, my heart would flutter and my stomach would get butterflies. I loved the way her soft lips felt against mine and the way she'd close her eyes and melt into me, like nothing else mattered in the world. I could spend hours just kissing her and never get tired of it. It felt like a beautiful escape from the real world, where all that mattered was us and the moment we shared. Even when we had to part ways, the memory of our kisses would linger in my mind and make me smile.

in a fast move I caught her lips in mine, hands wrapping around her waist it was like I was 16 all over again, Y/n wrapped up in my arms and kissing her any chance I got, for a moment she was hesitant but I felt her mold to me, her hand tangled in my hair- I'd never felt her grip there but it felt so right. Thankfully we were in the corner of the room and as the night got later the only lights that were on were the ones on the dance floor so we weren't in view of anyone unless they really looked, my lips moved from her lips to her neck- I nipped just below her jaw, I remembered everything about her body, every dip, curve, spot. A sweet moan filled my ear making me only hungrier for her "fuck- Tom people might see us, be careful" hearing my name fall from her lips took me back. I felt the girl pull back and look down, my eyes followed her

"shit- I..I'm sorry" I saw the tent formed in my slacks brushing against her thigh, my eyes met with hers again a smirk forming on her lips. Without any more words we slid away into one of the many bathrooms in the building through the corridor and down the stairs "god I've fucking missed you baby-" she smiled pulling my face to her, foreheads hitting, she pressed one last kiss to my lips and sat on the bathroom counter, shoving all the soaps and towels to the floor.

It had been 15 years since I last touched her let alone had sex with Y/n. I was nervous, excited, and scared all at the same time. I was worried whether I would be able to please her, whether I would be able to pleasure her, whether I would be able to make her feel the same way I had made her feel all those years ago when I could make her the most beautiful mess in the matter of minuets. I was scared of disappointing Y/n, of not being able to give her the same pleasure I had given her before. But despite all these fears, I was eager to be with Y/n once again, to experience the same feeling that we had experienced so long ago. I was ready to explore a new kind of connection with her, to explore the depths of our newly rediscovered lust. I was ready to fuck Y/n and have the pleasure that I had been missing for so long.

my hands wondered up her thighs onto the hem of the dress "can I?" she nodded lifting herself slightly so I could get the dress over her ass, I pulled it up revealing a small lacy black thong "fuck-" I groaned feeling my self wanting to rip it off her, she lifted her arms allowing me to get the dress fully off and I watched as her tits fell free , they were still my favourite eye candy all these years on "god I've missed those" I lunged forward taking her one boob into my mouth, swirling her nipple with my tongue hearing her soft noises escape her lips, her hands tangled themselves into my hair as she pulled me closer

"Tom- please i.. I need more" I pulled away looking to her face flushed red, I let my hands fall to her hips and play with the thong strap "please" she whined grabbing my hands and putting it to her heat, there was a small patch in the fabric- she was already soaking

"god still so needy hm?" she nodded "so wet for me-" my words came out in a almost moan and I watched her trying to roll her hips on my hand, I pulled away and shoved her hands back, I leaned down grabbing her legs and pulling her closer to me, my chin resting on her bare stomach "want me to take these off?" she hummed getting closer to me, I pressed a kiss to the inside of her thigh and grabbed both sides of the cotton ripping them apart

"TOM!" she yelled eyes widening at her panties in two "I-"

"its fine baby, I'll clean you up well so you wont need these, can be our little secret" her face went red again telling me I did a good job as I stuffed the fabric into my pocket "now- let me see that pretty little pussy" her legs parted and she was leaking already- she was beautiful, I let my ring finger slide through her folds hearing small whimpers string from her mouth "good girl, you like me touching you?"

"yes Tom- fuck I've missed this please- please I need more, don't tease pl-please" I laughed at her words pressing a small kiss to her head before letting my finger dip into her heat "SHIT-"

"shush- don't want people hearing you up stairs" she covered her mouth with her free hand and closed her eyes- I could've came at the sight but I knew I had to wait, I brought another finger into her feeling her tighten around me "good girl- you want more don't you?" she nodded opening her eyes that were already tearing up

"I need- I need you.." hearing her voice so quiet was music to my ears, she was so god damn hot "ple-" I sped up my pace adding a third didget and a cry spilled from her "I..I'm gonna- TOM!" I ripped my fingers out and let my mouth do the finishing part- tasting her for the first time in so long I hummed at the flavour "shit shit shit" she came, hands tightening around my shoulders

"you taste even sweeter doll" I grinned coming back up with my chin slick with her "think you can take more?" her mouth opened sucking for air "mh?" my hand cupped her jaw, thumb soothing her lips, I pulled away and brought the fingers that had once been in her, with no hesitation she took them into her mouth, cleaning her of me with a purr

"yes- I can please" with that I hand my hand back and unbuckled my belt, letting my slacks fall to the floor followed by my boxer, Y/n came closer unbuttoning my shirt reviling my chest, I pressed one last hungry kiss to her lips before lining myself up with her heat

"tell me when to stop-" she nodded her head and gently I pushed into her- the feeling taking me back, so warm and she fit so perfectly around me "ugh- fuck you never changed" a dopey smile appeared on her lips

"okay- you can move" she propped her self up on her hands, my hands holding her hips, I pulled out agonisingly slow "Tom please- don't tease me, not after this long" she breathed, eyes staring into mine. I snapped my hips out and back into the warmth quickly "SHIT" she screamed

"good girl- take it Y/n, I know you can doll come on" I spoke between thrusts, I grabbed her legs throwing them over my shoulders going deeper into her, a high moan flooded the bathroom as I pressed against her g-spot

"fuck right there babe- right there" hearing my old pet name sent me into overdrive, I pulled her off the counter and pressed her against the granite, ass slapping again my hips and I slammed myself into her, I watched her face in the mirror- tears of pleasure forming in her y/c/e's, mouth wide open "Oh my god- I forgot how big you- you are" a proud grin plastered my face

"look at yourself baby- watch how good I fuck you" her eyes opened wider as she looked at her self "look at you angel taking me so well ,cock feels so good in you Y/n" I whined pushing myself as deep as I could

I let go of her hip where my hand perfectly fit and twisted her hair into a makeshift pony-tail, pulling her head back, my lips in the shell of her ear "look so pretty like this baby- god I missed you" I pressed kisses to her hair line still watching her in the mirror, tits bouncing at ever push "so perfect for me... this pussy is all mine- nobody will ever fuck you better than me huh?"

"no- shit no, this pussy is yours Tom- all yours" I felt my cock twitch and my legs go weak "fuck... Tommy I'm so close" I let her hair go, pulling out and twisting her around so I could see her face, she grabbed my cock lining it back up and I sunk back in

"cum for me babe- fuck, just like tha-" before I could finish my sentence I felt her tighten around me, squeezing me In all the right places, her eyes squeezed shut and a sob good enough to be a porn star erupted from her throat and soon I felt myself cum into her, pumping her full, our liquids running down my cock and on her thighs

"fuck yes- feels so.. good" her voice was a whisper as she clung onto my shoulders "good-so good" I could tell her mind was blank, as we both came down from our high I stared to her face, eyes closed as she caught her breath- I missed her, not just because of the sex but being able to walk up and wrap my arms around her, talk to her on the phone the whole night on tour, give her gifts and spoil her, be there when she cried

"I love you" I spoke pressing a kiss to her cheek "I love you so much- I miss you Y/n" her eyes opened, head nodding at all my words

"i... I know Tom but- we can't, you- you know that, you have Heidi now- I'm just a memory; but I love you- and I want you to know that" she panted catching her breath, her hand cupped my jaw as she pressed a small kiss to my lips, where her favourite piercing was

"i... I don't want you to be a memory Y/n-" she wrapped her arms around me and I couldn't help but hold her again tears pricking my eyes "I don't want to lose you again"

"it's over Tom- but I'll always be here, I'll always love you but we can't be together" I nodded my head, peppering her face with kisses and finally to her lips; it wasn't hungry this time- passionate, longing and meaningful, painfully as I knew this was the last time

after we cleaned up and hugged one last time we made our ways out, going our separate ways once again- I knew she'd be going home- back to the house where I ruined everything.

I went over to the bar ordering a shot of vodka and taking it quickly, I felt arms tangle around me and rush of hope filled me "y/-"

"darling where have you been?" Heidi kissed my cheek raking her hands through my hair

"just in the bathroom" i spoke seeing her nod her head- only if she knew

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[runningfrom2am]

in this life or the next (part II)

summary: you and rafe won the 75th annual Hunger Games as a team, but at what cost?

pairing: rafe x fem!reader

wc: 11.4k

tags/warnings: not as much as you would expect for a Hunger Games fic honestly. spoilers for the og Hunger Games movies I guess (but also not bc i changed it up a bit- you'll see), Ward being a shitty dad (as per usual). also this isn't thoroughly edited bc.. it's long and i'm still lazy.

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a/n: hi guys! this is part two of this fic, and i'm honestly pretty proud of how this story is coming together!! i hope anyone who enjoyed that one enjoys this one :) also i very much set it up for part three so look forward to that (eventually).

"Without further adieu, I'm pleased to welcome back, from District One and District Five, Rafe Cameron and Y/N Y/L/N, this year's Victors!" The base of the talk show's theme music bellowed in your ears as you followed your cue, holding tightly onto Rafe's hand as you took the stage again. You never imagined you would be back here, but you're grateful to be.

"Rafe, Y/N, I cannot honestly put into words how pleased I am to have you both back with me tonight. We're all so excited to have you- aren't we?" Caesar smiled, riling up the crowd once more as the cheers had died down. Rafe had a smile glued to his face, squeezing your hand once you were both sat down before letting it go.

"We're happy to be back." Rafe replied and you nodded, smiling over at him. He looked so much better- the colour had returned to his skin, a subtle pink flush you didn't care to take notice of before the games.

"I bet you are." Caesar nodded. "We have so much to talk about, but first, I'd like to personally congratulate you both on your win. This was the first-ever games to produce two winners, I hope you understand the extent of your accomplishment."

"Thank you, yeah." You smiled, turning your attention to the man across from you. "I couldn't have done it without him."

"Likewise," Rafe said, gently nudging your shoulder with his hand. You rolled your eyes, shaking your head with a smile.

"God, I just love your chemistry." Caesar said, smiling and leaning his chin onto his palm. This resulted in more laughs and cheers from the audience. "This is a perfect segue, actually," He sits up straighter again, a slight laugh leaving him. "You were aware that we were all watching, right? Because there were some very real... intense moments between you two in the arena that had us on the edge of our seats. The whole 'will they, won't they' tension was so palpable. So, I think we all just want to know, was it real?"

Rafe nodded, watching the man intently as he listened to him speak. You were both wondering where he was going with that, but while you felt your face burning red, you came up with a logical answer that effectively dodged what he was really asking. "I mean, yeah, of course, such significant amounts of stress on both the body and the mind would make anyone vulnerable in a way you wouldn't expect."

Rafe shifted in his seat, turning his gaze to you as Caesar nodded at your answer. "But with Y/N it was just so easy. She gave me a new perspective on everything, which I appreciate still so greatly. Just, yeah I don't think I could ever see myself sort of... opening up in that way with anyone else." Rafe added, thinking for just a moment before shaking his head with a slight laugh. "I didn't even care that the world was watching, because I knew she was listening, you know?"

A chorus of 'aw's came from the audience and you smiled at him, looking to Caesar quickly to gauge his reaction. His was fairly similar, hand clutched to his chest with a pout in his lip. "Well, there's your answer, folks. It's very real. That is just so sweet." He nods.

"Rafe is right," You chimed in, silence falling over the building. "But truly it is just such a harrowing, scary experience, and up until last year's games we had never seen tributes connecting in a way that we were given the opportunity to, in a similar way to Katniss and Peeta had, the tributes from twelve last year. I think that is a new experience for both the viewer and for us as tributes, and it sets a new standard for the games. I just count myself so lucky that I got chosen to be Rafe's partner, because otherwise we never would have met- or we at least wouldn't have gotten the chance to see each other as real people, with thoughts and feelings and families waiting at home."

When you finished speaking, the silence stuck for a few moments that felt like an eternity. "Well... Yes, I suppose you're right, Y/N." Caesar agreed, but you still felt in your gut that you had said something wrong as the audience murmured and whispered to each other. "I think this is a good time to move on, because Y/N, you just have such a way with words, and we all saw in the games that you have... just one of the most amazing minds we have ever seen in a tribute."

"Isn't it cool?" Rafe added, leaning in and looking between the two of you with a smile on his face. "Caesar, I told you she had a secret weapon!" The audience loved this, instantly coming back to life with laughs and cheers.

"Yes, you did! We definitely didn't expect that!" Caesar chuckles. "So, Y/N, let us in a little bit more- at what point did you realize that the arena was recycled?"

"Oh, immediately." You answered with a nod, folding your hands in your lap. "Honestly by the time I saw the cornucopia for the first time I confirmed it, it was kind of a relief."

He claps his hands together, clearly impressed. "That's incredible! You proved it over and over again. My favorite part was the bag- we were all so confused and I personally got a bit of a laugh when you were trying to point it out to Rafe and he just had this hilarious confused look on his face! From the first thirty seconds, you guys already had this dynamic that had everyone in Panem hooked on watching you. So please, Y/N, tell us what your secret is. How your brain works, if you will."

"Please, Y/N/N." Rafe agreed, mocking Caesar's intrigued posture as he gazes at you waiting for you to elaborate.

You laughed, gently smacking his shoulder. "I just... I don't know. I see something, learn something, whatever the context may be, and then I just know it. I assume it's the same for you, but I just hold on to all the extra stuff. I think I'm broken, or something. I didn't even know this was abnormal until Rafe pointed it out during our training- I just always thought I was smarter than my siblings." You joke, laughing slightly.

"Well, I can only imagine you would be hard to compete with academically with a mind like yours." Caesar chuckled. "So, tell us, what's next for Panem's favourite couple- as I understand you now are."

You and Rafe made eye contact briefly. You hadn't talked about it, despite having hardly left each others sides since you returned. "I don't know." You shrug. "I suppose whatever you guys tell us to do."

"I think we'll go home, see our families, relax a bit and then we'll be back and ready for the victory tour in a few months." Rafe cut in. Had you said something wrong again?

"And we can't wait- we will miss having you guys on our screens everyday, that is for sure." Caesar smiled, standing up which made up your signal to do the same.

"We look forward too seeing you again soon." Rafe smiled, shaking Caesar's hand as you stood up, quickly adjusting your dress in the meantime.

"Thank you so much for joining me tonight, and congratulations again on your win. Enjoy your time at home." Caesar turned to you, giving you a quick hug before you held Rafe's arm and walked offstage, waving to the audience for hopefully the last time in a while.

As you recalled the memory of the last time you saw Rafe in person, you find yourself getting nervous at the idea of seeing him again. It had been a long six months- and you had exchanged an endless string of handwritten letters.

Life for you in the Victor's Village was pleasant, refreshing, even- since it had felt like forever since you had known any kind of peace. It's in a quiet area of town, giving you lots of space to enjoy real fresh air in a way that felt safe. Unfortunately, your vivid nightmares couldn't be quelled by the cool breeze or your sisters sleeping peacefully next to you or the room across the hall.

Rafe had found out that yes, you did sign your name with a heart normally. At least, you did in the many letters he had received from you. It had been the longest six months of his life, but at the same time, a whirlwind of everything happening all at once. Regardless, he spent the entire time walking on eggshells around his father.

When Rafe was reunited with his family, his sister had thrown herself at him with such force he stumbled back when he caught her in his arms, holding her tight with a hand over the back of her head. "I never thought I would see you again..." She mumbled, chin wobbling against his shoulder.

"I missed you so much, Wheeze, you have no idea." He whispered back, gently stroking the back of her hair. He put her down gently, but she refused to let go of his waist as he acknowledged the rest of his family. Sarah, stoic, standing alongside their dad with a matching expression. She, somehow, had a smile behind her eyes that Rafe was all too familiar with. Sarah was happy to see him, though she would never admit it in Ward's presence.

"Rafe." Ward smiled, suddenly, shockingly, only until Rafe realized they had cameras on them as his father walked up and smacked a hand onto his shoulder, guiding him away. District One was proud to have another Victor to add to the growing roster, and they would always celebrate accordingly. Somehow, Rafe didn't feel special.

"Hey, Dad," Rafe replied, smiling nervously as his dad gave his shoulder a squeeze. He knew he was in trouble- big trouble, and maybe staying in the capitol wouldn't have been so bad. He hoped you were facing a more genuine welcome in Five.

"Are you excited to see your girlfriend today?" Sarah asks, bringing him back to reality as she leaned against the entryway to their home gym. To Rafe, their whole house felt cold now. The mansion was decorated mostly in white, with marble flooring and high ceilings that made the home feel so much emptier than he remembered it. Most of the time, he stayed alone at the home he'd been granted in the victors village.

"Yeah. I don't think she's my girlfriend, though." He replies, hardly tearing his eyes away from the combat training equipment that still haunts him.

Sarah furrows her brow accompanying a confused laugh. "What? Only all of Panem sees you as the hottest couple, but you don't know?"

"We never got to talk about it. So, yeah, I don't know."

"Will you ask her?"

Rafe shrugs, getting up from the bench and throwing the towel over his shoulder. "Probably. She's the only good thing I can think about, these days."

"You better get on that. I heard from the news that there's an engagement announcement on the horizon!" Sarah calls, turning on her heel as she heads back down the hall.

Rafe sighs, grabbing his water bottle and heading out after her. He's wanted to talk about this, of course, but in the victor's interview you mentioned that anyone would be so vulnerable with all that stress- and he couldn't help but be a little hurt by that. Then again, you've sent him letter after letter since you had been apart, so the signals he's getting are mixed- to say the least.

As he changes into the clothes his dad picked out for him for the first day of the Victory Tour, he hopes that seeing you again will bring only good memories. Not that there are many to choose from- but something in his gut is telling him that you will be the cure to his nightmares, or at the very least, someone to talk to about everything, even if it's just for a few months a year. Forever.

You're standing at the train station, surrounded by your family and an array of cameras, everyone anxiously awaiting the two of you being reunited. It's unknown to you if he will even get off the train, part of you hopes that he doesn't so your sisters don't get the chance to bug him. "He'll be happy to see you, hey?" Your mom interrupts your thoughts, nudging you gently with her elbow.

"Maybe." You shrug, pulling at the loose strings on the hem of your dress. "I don't know, I don't want to go. I'd rather stay home, Mom."

"I know, sweetheart... And we'll miss you." She sighs, kissing the side of your head and pulling you close with an arm around your shoulders. "But maybe it'll be nice to talk to him. He must understand you better than we can, these days."

"I don't know about that." You say softly, gazing down the tracks at the sound of the train quickly approaching. You take a deep breath, turning to hug your sisters so you have time. You were on a very tight schedule already, Opal was making sure of that. The train couldn't leave a minute late- even though you're sure that you and Rafe may be precious cargo, considering you're the only ones on it, spare for your teams, and the only reason the train is making this journey at all.

"I'll bet he jumps out of the train and tackles you to the ground because he missed you so, so, soooo much!" Your youngest sister giggles, clinging tightly to your arm.

You decide not to acknowledge it, eyes locked on the silver metal as it pulls up in front of you. "Don't say anything to him, you best leave him alone." Your dad reminds her, peeling her from your arm and into his side instead.

The door slides open, and just as you're lifting your one bag you're met with Rafe. Seeing him for the first time in person for months is shocking. He looks tired- you guess he's been having nightmares too. "Y/N.." He says, almost breathlessly as he leans against the door of the train.

"Hi." You whisper, giving him the best smile you can muster. Truly, you are happy to see him, but you do know he has to put on a show of the two of you being reunited. He jumps down, taking three large strides toward you before pulling you close and burying his face in your hair. "I'm so happy to see you."

"Me too." He mumbles, letting you go after a moment.

"Welcome to District Five, I guess." You laugh nervously, gesturing around you.

"Thank you, I've never been here before," Rafe explains, rather unnecessarily. "The ride was beautiful."

Opal is trying to usher you from behind the camera to move onto the train, and Rafe's hand is hanging at his side, fingers brushing gently over your arm. You get the message, just about to finally wave off your family for a second time. "Wait, hold on." Your dad cuts you off, stopping you both in your tracks.

"Thank you, Son." He nods, holding out his hand to Rafe. You can see his chin wobble, but you can also see that he's trying to keep a brave face for the cameras. Your family had been warned to not speak to him, to just say goodbye and let you walk onto the train since your reunion would be telecasted live- but he just couldn't let Rafe get away without him knowing how much he appreciated him saving you.

Rafe takes his hand and shakes it, returning the nod. "I would have died before taking her from you." They would have a less formal opportunity to meet towards the end of the tour when you revisited Five for a big celebration in both of your honour. You were already dreading it. Anyway, now, they only really had time for pleasantries. Not even that, if they were to follow Opal's schedule.

Cameras are quickly cut, and you wave goodbye now as you're actually forced onto the train. "Gosh, you two, we have places to be. Seriously." Opal says sternly, walking on behind you along with your stylist's team.

It's only a little while until you were talking again, like you had never been apart- and like everything was normal. Until, as the sun set over the mountains in District Eleven, you both got quiet, looking out the array of windows in the very last car.

"I'm glad to see you normally sign your name with a heart."

"Huh?"

"Uh, in the cave. You put your name on the wall, with a little heart beside it. I remember wondering if you normally write your name like that, and you do."

"Oh, yeah. When I'm signing something, I guess." You agree with a slight shrug. After a few moments of comfortable silence, both of you staring out the window over the tracks, you continue. "We're going to get in trouble. About what you said to my dad."

"I meant it," Rafe replies, not missing a single beat.

"Did Snow come to see you too?" You ask.

"Yeah." He nods. "I don't really care though, what can he do to me that he hasn't already done, you know?"

"He'd go after your sisters."

"He mentioned something about that. He won't, though. He's just trying to scare us into smiling for the cameras."

"I don't know..." You sigh. "I'd rather not risk it. Play it safe."

"You'll be doing that for the rest of your life, and he'll only demand more and more." Rafe shakes his head at you, reaching out and taking your hand. "With whatever is happening in the districts, he wouldn't run the risk of hurting our families. Your family, in particular. Panem loves your family, you gave them security by speaking so highly of them in the games, and they bought their own by spending all that money to send both of us something from home. He couldn't touch them without the whole country losing their minds."

"What? What's happening in the districts?" All you had seen on TV was reruns of your interviews and highlight reels of your own games. You tried not to watch much TV.

Rafe's eyes flicker with confusion as he scans your face. After a moment he realizes that of course, you wouldn't know. He only knows because of his dad- the news was so heavily censored in the outlying districts that there's no doubt you wouldn't have heard about the uprisings. "I-uh... My dad told me some stuff. There's been a couple of uprisings, nothing serious, but still. He wants us to keep them happy." He decidedly leaves out the fact that people in farther districts, outside of your own, are really not your biggest fans.

"Oh... Well, I'll try my best. Do you know what they were about?"

"No, uh, I don't know much about it. Sorry." Rafe mumbles, dropping your hand to push himself up from the couch. "I should probably get some sleep. You too."

Looking at how dark it is outside now, he's probably right. You have a long couple of weeks ahead, starting tomorrow. Starting it off with a full night's sleep would no doubt be beneficial- and who knows what time Opal will be waking you up in the morning.

You stretch out your arms as you stand up, yawning as you follow Rafe out the door and toward your cabin where your things are waiting for you.

It's not long after a quick shower that you pass out in bed, already tired and lulled to sleep by the steady movement of the train. And it's not long after that until you're standing on the silver pedestal that typically haunts your dreams yet again.

You look around, trying desperately to put together the pieces of where you are. You can't. You can, everything looks the same, but there's a feeling of panic in your gut that tells you you don't know a thing as the timer ticks down in front of you, the sound echoing throughout the arena.

Your head snaps to the left when you hear someone yelling for you. Your sister. She looks pale, you can practically see her shaking from where you're standing. She's yelling at you still, but you can't make out what she's saying as you realize that it isn't just her. Your whole family is there, and no sign of Rafe.

How are you supposed to do this without him?

The timer reaches zero, and the alarm blades signaling the games have begun. You're quick to sprint for your youngest sister, your first goal being getting her away. As you reach her you look back toward the cornucopia, blood already sprayed across the side of the glistening metal and bodies on the ground. Exactly the way it was last time.

"We have to get you out of here. We have to go south, we have to-" You're cut off by her freezing, stumbling back, and falling into the grass.

You call for her in a panic, looking back over your shoulder. You have nothing. There's nothing you can do to help as she chokes on blood from the knife now embedded in her chest.

It was you. You're standing there, a sick smile on your face with dropped shoulders- you had thrown it. Just how Rafe had taught you.

You wake up to the sound of your own screaming, sitting up quickly and kicking off your blanket. Your hair is stuck to your forehead as you scramble to place your surroundings. It wasn't real. It felt so real.

"Y/N?" You look up to the door in a panic as Rafe pushes the door open, brows furrowed in concern. "Are you okay?"

His presence starts to calm you almost instantly. "Yeah, just a dream." You say breathlessly. "I'm sorry if I woke you."

"I couldn't sleep anyway." He insists, stepping in and closing the door. "Can I stay?"

You just nod, sliding over to make room for him.

Rafe pads across the floor, climbing in bed next to you and laying down, getting comfortable as you lay facing each other. Your heart is still racing. You still see your sister suffering at your own hand.

Without saying a word, Rafe reaches up, hesitating for a moment before brushing your hair back from your forehead. "I get nightmares too." He whispers, settling his hand on your cheek, gently brushing over your skin with his thumb.

"I'm sorry." You whisper back, eyes still open as you try and look at him in the dark.

He knows you're not apologizing as if it's your fault, more so saying you wish that neither of you were plagued with the memories of what you had been through. "Me too." He whispers, finally closing his eyes. Maybe now, with you here, he'll feel safe enough to get a full night of sleep without being interrupted by the screams of the kids that he killed.

You wake up with another jolt when the door flies open, slamming against the wall. "Oh, thank god. Rafe! What are you doing in here? Get up, hurry. We've spent far too much time searching the train for you." You blink a few times, rubbing your eyes as you process the harsh awakening by his escort, Zara.

"I'm up..." Rafe grumbles from beside you, taking a deep breath in with his head pressed against your back and an arm over your waist.

"God, you scared me. Now come on, we're already late." She says, standing and holding the door, waiting for him to get moving.

He sighs in response, and you feel a rush of cold air as he leaves you, stretching as he gets up and follows Zara out of the room. The train has stopped moving, you notice this quickly as you get up yourself. It's safe to assume Opal is waiting for you as well.

Walking out onto the stage of District Twelve is humbling, to say the very least. They are among the poorest of Panem's districts, even District Five seems like the Capitol compared to this. The pedestals in front of us display images of the four tributes behind where their families stand. It is all too real as you stand there in front of a large crowd in yet another uncomfortable dress.

Rafe holds your hand as you walk out, scanning over the crowd too. Even his already fake smile begins to fade at the sight and he looks pale. He's clutching your speech cards in his other hand, and you clock how it's slightly shaking from nerves as you are directed to begin speaking and he raises the cards.

"We are united as Panem is united. Our love has opened our eyes to the greatness of our country." You can tell in his voice he's trying to maintain his charismatic charm, but it's failing him. He can't tear his eyes away from the tributes' families, recognizing the faces on the screens behind them. One of the girls stands out, and he shakes away her voice in his head begging him to spare her life with her leg caught in the trap he asked you to set. He adjusts his focus to the mountains in the distance before he continues. "Love illuminates the truth-"

"You're standing where Katniss and Peeta should be!" He's interrupted by someone shouting from the crowd. It's easy to pick out the voice in the sea of people. A boy, a few years older than you with dark hair and a strong build. He's worked his whole life, no doubt. There's a blonde girl next to him- Prim. Katniss's sister, who she had volunteered for last year.

Rafe is frozen, staring at them for a moment before looking back to Zara, who gestures for him to continue. He's squeezing your hand now, tighter. "That's her sister." You whisper to him before he gets the chance to speak again. "May I?"

He looks down at you, silently asking if you're sure. Secretly, Rafe is relieved. You nod to him again and he hands you the cards. You don't need them, so you place them down on the pedestal in front of you.

"I understand the tremendous loss your community has faced at the hands of these games. And I am sorry." Rafe taps your arm, watching you now as you speak. You look up at him briefly and he nods to you. "We are sorry." You correct, reading from him that that is what he wanted.

"We can't fix the past, but I can tell you that without Spruce, Fletcher, Trilly, and Cerise we wouldn't be standing here today. We are forever in debt to them, and to you, for something that we didn't want to take in the first place." You pause, clearing your throat as you feel a tightness in your chest. "I never knew Katniss or Peeta, but watching them at home inspired me, and remember wondering when I watched Katniss volunteer for little Prim if I would do the same for my sisters, and as much as I love them I realized that I don't know if I ever could. And then, at the end, when she and Peeta both chose to die rather than live without each other, rather than pumping out another victor from the games- I was in awe. Of their bravery, and of their sacrifice. I thought I could never do that. They were braver than me."

You stare around the silent crowd, aiming to memorize every face. "Then I met Rafe, and I finally understood them. We would have done the same, but we were given a greater opportunity. I don't know why it was us and not them, and what we did to deserve our lives again, but I am truly sorry that it wasn't them." You spit out, choking over every word.

"It's because he's one of them!" The same boy shouts, pointing at Rafe and you notice peacekeepers shoving their way through the crowd toward him.

Rafe swallows the lump in his throat, keeping a straight face as he looks out at the boy.

"We are sorry that you lost loved ones." You say again, looking up at him briefly.

Before you can continue, Rafe is moving you aside to speak again. "I will donate half of my winnings to the families of our fallen tributes, as well as the families of Katniss Everdeen and Peeta Mellark. It is the very least I can do, and I know that it won't bring them back, but I am sorry."

Rafe sees the peacekeepers quickly approaching and he wraps one arm around you, holding the other out towards them. "Hey, hey! Don't touch her, we'll go." He says, letting the peacekeepers guide you back off of the stage and out of view as chaos breaks out in the crowd.

"Y/N Y/L/N are you crazy?" Opal is there quickly, looking like she is ready to smack you if she didn't know better.

"What? What did I do?" You ask, panic evident in your voice as you hear shots firing outside.

"She just said what she thought they wanted to hear." Rafe defends you, but even he knows you messed up. In the eyes of the President, anyways.

"Yes, but that is the exact opposite of what Snow wants to hear! And you! Offering them his money? Did you think that was smart?"

"I- I don't know, I didn't know what to do and lord knows I don't need it! They can have it all for all I care." Rafe sighs, shaking his head dismissively.

"Rafe! You were given explicit instructions to keep the peace! Your father is going to be furious, you realize that right?" Zara intervenes.

"Instructions to what, sell this 'against all odds love story'? They want us together so they can brainwash Panem into thinking that privileged districts and the stupid Capitol can get along with the others, and that we're all a big happy family, but its all bullshit. I don't want to be a part of that and I never asked to be." Rafe shouts at her, and Opal gasps as you look away.

"I'll- uhm, yeah. Right. Opal, can you come with me back to the train? I want to leave." You mumble.

She glares at Rafe as she places a hand on your back, leading you toward the exit with peacekeepers following to escort you out of the building.

Heartbreak wasn't exactly on your bingo card for the first day of the victory tour. At least you got your answers, though. Rafe wants nothing to do with you, and now you can go about the rest of your life being forced to pretend you're in love. Great.

The tour continues as scheduled. Every day, occasionally with a day of travel time in between, you find yourself standing on a stage, a smile glued to your face, reading from a script with your hand wrapped around one belonging to a boy who couldn't care less about you. It's torturous.

The day finally comes, after cycling painfully through all the other districts that you make it to the first of two big parties, you're finally home.

"Y/N, Honey, welcome home." Your mom greets you at the door with a hug.

"I missed you." You mumble, pulling her into a hug. She shuts the door behind you as you step away, looking outside for just a moment.

"Where's Rafe?"

"He's staying down the road." You mumble, avoiding eye contact with her and stalking up to your room.

You feel guilty about being grateful for the many empty houses in the victor's village, allowing him his own place to stay instead of staying with you.

You have a few hours of peace before Opal will come with your stylist to prep you and your family for the party and address that's happening tonight, and the one thing on your agenda before then is a good, long nap.

A good, long nap, however, was not something on your sister's agenda, and it was only a matter of minutes before she was barging into your room.

"Y/N! How come Rafe isn't here?" She asks aptly, throwing herself onto your bed next to you.

"He's busy." You grumble, pulling the blankets tighter around yourself.

"Oh, like you? So busy right now you can't say hi to your favourite sister?"

"You're not my favourite."

"Rude." She makes herself at home in your bed, curling up next to you. For the first three months you were home, she didn't leave your side. She had slept in your bed every night, uncomfortable both with the move and her new room away from the one you had previously shared, and also with the idea of losing you again. "Did you kiss him?" She giggles once she's settled in, whispering despite the first time you kissed Rafe being broadcast on national television for the whole country to see.

"No." You whisper back, feeling tears prick at your eyes. "He hates me."

"What? How? I need more details than that, I'm sure he doesn't hate you."

"It was all fake. To get people to like us, to make us win and now to keep Snow from coming after our families." You say quietly, finding it difficult to admit your naivety to even yourself. "He never meant any of it."

Your sister is shocked, jaw slack with your explanation. She's only sixteen, but you can see the gears turning in her head. She loves a romance book, and growing up in a house where your parent's hands were rarely disconnected has built her into somewhat of a relationship expert. Or so she thinks, at least. "No. No, that's not true."

"It is, he said it."

"Exactly like that? What were his exact words?"

"Does it matter?"

"Yes."

"I don't remember."

"You're lying. There's not a thing anyone has ever said to you that you've forgotten." She insists. "But, fine, I guess it doesn't matter because I know it's not true. I've seen the way he looks at you when you're not watching. He's so in love with you it's absurd. Trust me."

You sigh, pulling the blanket away from your face to look up at her. "Don't say that."

"Why? I'm right."

You sniffle, wiping your eyes on the sheet before explaining. "He said we're being forced together to prove something to the public, and he never wanted to be a part of that."

"I knew you were lying." Your sister smiles, pushing your hair back from your face. "But that means nothing. Less than nothing! I wasn't there, but he probably meant that he doesn't want to be together just to be a public spectacle, or to push some agenda that's not his own. That says nothing about how he truly feels about you."

"I don't know..." You reply, skeptical of her thought process. "You should have seen him. He was so angry-"

"At you?"

"Well, no-"

"Then it wasn't about you." She assures you, tucking herself into the blanket. "We'll have a nap, and then you'll talk to him tonight."

"I don't think that's a good idea." You protest.

"It is. Now shh, I'm napping." She hums, eyes already closed as she drapes her arm over your side.

The exhaustion took over and you did end up falling asleep, your sisters breath on your face calming you enough to get some well-needed rest.

You're woken up abruptly, thrown into a show dress that is at least comfortable enough to breathe in, and after being smothered in makeup and hair fried, you're pushed out of the door and into a car.

This address will be hard. You know Jack's family, and to see them standing on the pedestal across from you, behind the crowd, leaves you sick just at the thought of it. Maisie's as well, though you were far from responsible for her death. Again, the idea of why it was you and not them crosses your mind. At this point, you doubt it will ever stop.

Standing backstage, waiting for your queue, Rafe approaches you hesitantly. He knows you're angry, but over the last couple of weeks, you haven't given him a moment to explain. He wishes he could just explain.

"Do you want me to take the lead on this one?" He asks, adjusting the collar of his shirt as he takes his spot next to you, suit tailored to match your dress.

"No. I've got it." You reply coldly, eyes locked on the door ahead of you.

Rafe sighs, reaching out to grab your hand, as was your routine now. You can hear the introductions on stage ahead of you, the audience quieting down. At least this time, the district is mostly celebrating a local win, rather than mourning the senseless deaths of four of their children. This time, it's only three.

You take his hand, building up the energy to smile. You're happy, and you're happy together. Convincing your home district will be harder because, for the rest of your life, you have to keep up this show.

"Can we talk later?" Rafe whispered, leaning down and your skin tingled with the contact of his breath.

"Okay." You say, tone hardly audible as the doors open for you. Let the show begin.

You both smile and wave your way onto the stage, for the first time being met with cheers rather than blank stares. It's refreshing until you see Jack's parents adorning their little stage at the back. You wish they looked angrier, like they believed you were responsible. For some reason, you feel like they don't.

You don't realize people are waiting for you to speak until Rafe does for you, once again ignoring the queue cards.

"District Five, thank you for welcoming me into your community. I have never been here before, but when I say it is one of the most beautiful places I have ever been, I mean it." He smiles, clearing his throat while the people clap. "I also want to say thank you, because without the sacrifice of your people, I wouldn't be standing here today. That means the world to me, more than I can ever express."

You chew on your lip, scanning across the back and finally seeing your own family. Their presence brings you a comfort you didn't know you needed so badly. "And to Y/N's family, thank you, truly, for raising your daughter into the incredible girl that she is. Without her, there is no chance I could have survived. She saved me. I can never repay you for what you have given me." You watch as your dad pulls your mom close with an arm around her shoulder, hugging her. She looks like she's going to cry, your dad does too.

You try not to laugh as your sister stands with her arms crossed, shaking her head at you, a smug smile on her face. "I told you." You read her lips, and you shake your head back at her.

"Okay, okay, thank you, Rafe." You chuckle, taking the mic from him. "I would just like to say, I am so lucky to be back, and thank you to all of you for being such amazing, supportive people my whole life. It takes a village, they say, and I know I was enough of handful for the whole village to be sick of." You shrug, pulling some laughs from the audience. "I also want to say, to Maisie, Jack, and Caylen's families, I am truly sorry for your loss, but they fought hard. I hope you are proud of who they were. And Mr and Mrs Kyle, I hope you know I never wanted to hurt Jack. I'm so sorry I ever did." You finish, taking a step back to signal that you were done.

Rafe drops your hand to gently rub your back as your eyes are once again trained on his parents. They're crying, of course, as are you, but as his mom nods at you, you feel an incredible weight lifted off your shoulders. One death you felt so personally responsible for, and their family was kind enough to forgive you. Rafe hasn't been so lucky, you've seen it first hand. As you guessed, he is sick about it. Somehow, seeing Jack's family offer you that moment of forgiveness makes him feel better, too, knowing that you won't be suffering the way he is forever.

"Remember, this is your day. Everyone is here to celebrate you, dear." Opal reminds you, gently smoothing the front of your dress back at your home, getting changed for the party. "I am so proud of you."

You smile, for some reason finding yourself fighting off tears. "Thank you, for everything. I know I wasn't always pleasant to be around."

"No one expected you to be." She assures you, planting a kiss on your cheek. "My beautiful victor..."

You look up as there's a knock on the door to your room. "Rafe is here, can we let him in?" One of your stylists assistants says through the wood and Opal answers before you get the chance.

"Yes, let him in." You give her a look and she chuckles, placing her hands on your shoulders. "He's been dying to talk to you, dear. We'll give you a few minutes, and we'll be right outside."

You sigh, nodding as the door gets pushed open. "Rafe! Dear, you look so handsome." Opal smiles at him, patting his shoulder as her and your stylist shuffle out, letting Rafe in and closing the door behind themselves.

Of course, you would be matching his outfit. By now you anticipated it, but Rafe's suits never failed to impress you. It was almost entirely white, with gold cuffs and collars, and somehow, the shoes were a gold leather as well. All matched perfectly to the accents on your dress, and you wonder if his suit alone cost more than the house you grew up in. It's likely.

"You look beautiful." He breaks the silence, smiling at you nervously.

"Thanks.. You too. Handsome. I mean, white suits you."

He clears his throat, rubbing the back of his neck. "I've missed you." He says, looking at you intensely to gauge your reaction. "Look, if... I did something I'm sorry. I was hoping we could talk, I want to fix things."

"If you did something." You scoff, nodding. You can't help but laugh a little bit.

"Okay, I did something. That's obvious, then. Okay." Rafe says, wracking his brain to figure out exactly where he went wrong. He has a good idea, because you ghosted him immediately after his fight with Zara and Opal in Twelve, but they had both forgiven him, understanding that he wasn't upset with them personally. "How do I fix it?"

"Oh, you want to fix it? That's rich. Truly."

"Y/N, I don't understand. You have to level with me, please." He begs, brow furrowed with upset now.

"You wouldn't want the Capitol to think we're fighting, right? You had a change of heart?" You ask rhetorically, grabbing a drink from the cart they moved into your room.

"Please, just spell it out for me. I can't go on like this, I almost lost you once. I'm not doing it again."

You sigh, the desperation in his voice forcing you to be more empathetic. "Okay, Rafe. Fine. You told them that you wanted nothing to do with this relationship. Right in front of me. I don't understand why you couldn't grasp that that hurt me, but if it wasn't clear, I really care about you."

Rafe looks down, staring at the carpet as he listens, nodding as he connects the dots. "Oh- oh! Oh, no, I didn't mean that. You have to know I didn't mean that, Y/N, come on!"

"Then why would you say it?" Your tears are threatening to return now as your voice shakes.

"Okay, I mean, I meant it, but that has nothing to do with you."

"Nothing to do with me? It has everything to do with me!"

"No, it doesn't." Rafe insists, stepping closer to you now. You can't bring yourself to back away. You've missed having him close. "I meant I don't want to be with you just so they can have a new front page couple. I meant I want to be with you because I want to be with you. Because I love you, not because they want me to love you."

You freeze, thinking over what he said. His I love you echoing in your mind like you're standing in a wind tunnel. "I... What?"

"Y/N," Rafe chuckles, reaching up now and holding your face in his large hands. "You are the smartest person I have ever met in my life, but sometimes, you are so dumb."

You can't help but giggle at that, shaking your head slightly. Rafe looks at you like you're holding his world in your hands. "Do you mean it?" You ask after a few moments.

"I've never meant anything more." You can feel his breath on your skin for the second time in one day, and you don't think you can go without it for another. You're sure your heart stops beating for a moment as he thumbs over your bottom lip, and just as you're sure you could throw up from how pretty he looks up close, you're pulling on the front of his jacket to close the gap between you.

It works, beautifully, and despite your confidence in the moment, he's very gentle. You've kissed before, sure, but you were both pumped so full of adrenaline that you couldn't stop laughing long enough to enjoy it- and that's looking past the fact that he was likely moments from death; thank god for the anti-venom the peacekeepers brought on board.

You hold tight onto his jacket, likely to keep your knees from buckling under you as his lips pass over yours, over and over again. "I love you too." You mumble into his skin, and you can feel him smiling against you.

"Kids? It's awfully quiet in there! Not to interrupt but we are on a deadline here!" Opal calls through the door, knocking on it gently with a gloved hand.

At the intrusion you practically jump apart, sighing a breath of relief when she doesn't open the door. "Okay, coming! Just one second." You reply, trying to hide the shakiness in your voice as you gather your things.

You don't know why you're desperate to avoid suspicion, but you're pulling the door open before either of you say anything else to each other. You both know you're okay, and that's what matters.

"Oh! Good, you're ready to go? Let's get moving." Opal nods at you as you pass her, cheeks burning. "Oh my, absolutely not!" She gasps, and you turn to see as Rafe walks out and she's producing a small linen from her bag and wiping off his mouth for him.

"I can do it..." Rafe mumbles, grabbing it from her to remove the rest of your lipstick from around his mouth as you both feel your faces turning red.

Unfortunately, you were only allowed time for one night at home before you moved on to the last uncovered district in your tour, District One.

"Are you excited to be home?" You ask Rafe, once again curled up in the back train car looking at the view. You've got a blanket draped over both of you, your legs falling over his lap.

"I really liked your brother. He's cool." Rafe dodges the question tactfully, and it's not lost on you that he doesn't want to talk about his home. "And your sister was hilarious."

"Yeah," You scoff, shaking your head. "I don't know who gave her Posca, but they shouldn't have. She was drunk out of her mind."

"Isn't she fifteen?"

"Sixteen actually, her birthday was last month." You laugh, dropping your head back onto the armrest behind you. "Be honest though, if you were given that opportunity at sixteen wouldn't you take it?"

Rafe shrugs, running his hand up and down your thigh. "Probably not, my dad would throw a tantrum."

"Is he strict?"

"Extremely."

"Oh. Still? I mean, one, you're eighteen- you're not a kid anymore, and two, shouldn't he just be happy you're alive? Even if that means you're drinking underage?"

"You would think." Rafe sighs, patting your leg gently. "Our reputation is his number one priority. Not his kids."

"I see." You nod softly. "That must be hard for you."

"Well, it's all I've ever known. So it's not that bad. I just worry about my sisters."

"I would too." You agree. "But, they have you. That makes all the difference."

"I try to. He wants them to volunteer, though. The only thing better for his business than one kid in the games is two, and the entertainment factor in that is valuable." Without any cameras around to record your every move, for one of the first times ever, Rafe can speak more candidly to you about it. And it is such a relief.

"That is just... so unfathomable to me." You reply. "Not to disrespect him, or anything, I mean all the respect for who he is and what he does, but I just can't imagine why he wouldn't prioritize your lives more. Especially after your mom..." You trail off here, realizing that's a door only he should open. You had seen a profile of him on the news, as a matter of fact your whole family sat down to watch it together after you got home. You don't know details of what happened, but they mentioned that she passed when he was ten. It broke your heart.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to..." You try and correct yourself, feeling him tense up under you as he stares out the window across from you.

"It's okay." Rafe insists, relaxing himself again to continue tracing patterns on your leg. "You're right. It is kind of backwards. I never got that before, but after going through what we did... I wouldn't ever want my sisters to get pushed through the same turnstile. You know?"

"Of course." You nod softly, grabbing his hand off your leg and holding it.

"Anyway, my mom never wanted us to volunteer. She stood out that way, people looked down on her because of it. Then she got sick and... yeah." Rafe continues and you squeeze his hand.

"I'm sorry, truly." You say, tone gentle.

"It happens." Rafe shrugs. "I admit, I was disappointed when Sarah didn't get picked with me. Especially with the team aspect, and I'm surprised that she didn't, but now I'm so glad she wasn't. Not to say she wouldn't have been a strong competitor. If she gets picked next year I guarantee she will win, actually." He says, smiling fondly with a shake of his head. "I've tried talking her out of volunteering, but she hasn't budged. She wants to please Ward, and I get that. I just hope she has the strength that I didn't."

"That's hard. I mean, at least I don't have to convince my sisters not to volunteer. They wouldn't do it if we begged them to, not that we ever would. Obviously." You chuckle, and Rafe does too. "Maybe... Would you mind if I talked to her? I have a way with little sisters."

"By all means." Rafe nods. "Good luck, though."

"I have a question." You say, after a moment of silence between the two of you, the train rattling over the tracks below you with an almost unsettling smoothness.

"Shoot."

"Since so many people volunteer, doesn't that take away the purpose of volunteering? Do they put all the volunteers into a bowl and draw names anyway? How do they pick?"

Rafe laughs, dropping your hand to reach out and ruffle your hair. "You will see."

It isn't long before you start pulling into One. It looks like a mini Capitol, but with more mansions and less giant buildings, it was extravagant nonetheless. Your face was practically glued to the window the whole drive in, as Rafe pointed out who lived where, and any landmarks you passed. It was fascinating, and you wished you were on speaking terms when you arrived in Five. There would have been lots to share.

You can't help but note that his family wasn't there to greet the train, at least you don't think they were- there was a crowd of strangers there waiting excitedly, along with more security to escort you and your teams away from the station.

Everyone there seemed to be a fan, particularly of Rafe's, and this was a comforting change of pace.

Rafe watches you with a fond smile as you stop, crouching down to talk to a little girl who wiggled past security and pulled on the bottom of your dress.

"This is for you, Miss Y/N." She says, so quietly you can hardly hear her over the sound of shuttering cameras and shouting in your direction.

You take the small flower from her and smell it. "It's beautiful, thank you, hun." You smile, taking it and tucking it behind your ear. "What's your name?"

"Clara."

"Clara, that's such a lovely name. Thank you for coming to say hi."

"Can I give you a hug?"

You nod, opening your arms to the little girl who practically falls into your lap, hugging you right around your neck. "When I grow up I'm going to be just like you. I'm gonna win." She says as you let her go, and your heart drops in your stomach.

Your smile falters and you nod at her a little. "Stay safe, okay?" You settle on, gently pushing her hair out of her eyes and standing up as Rafe places his hand on your shoulder, signalling it was really time to go.

You ease the girl back to her waiting parents, before standing upright and joining Rafe, waving to people as you follow him to the car, trying to shake off the uneasy feeling you're left with after that interaction.

The speech in District One was easier, similar to District Two, where people seemed happy to see you- more careless of the lives of young people they had lost. To them, it was an honour to go, even if you never returned home. That's where you first laid eyes on Rafe's sisters, and you could see immediately the difference he was telling you about.

Sarah looked much more like him, and Wheezie like their father, you could only guess that their mother had the dirty blonde hair and blue eyes she passed onto her oldest children.

At the party, it wasn't long before you saw her again, despite the large property and the sea of guests. Pretty much the moment you walked in, Ward was on the two of you with the girls in tow.

"Y/N! It is so good to meet you." He smiles, reaching out to shake your hand which you quickly oblige.

"You as well, Mr. Cameron."

"Please, call me Ward. All my friends do." He grins, nodding to the two girls with him. "These are my daughters, Sarah and Louise."

You try and introduce yourself, but you hardly get past a smile before he's ushering the group of you along. "There are loads of people who have been looking forward to meeting you. Come with me."

You just smile and nod, Rafe staring blankly at his dad as he leads the way.

You meet lots of people, and despite your average height you feel like they're looking down on you. No doubt you're seen as somewhat of a freeloader- carried through the games by Rafe's strength and training, but despite this, Ward introduces you to every last person as Rafe's girlfriend. Not that you mind, you had to assume that's what you were. He didn't seem bothered by it, so neither would you.

"I'm off to grab a drink, care to join?" Sarah offers, linking her arm with yours after what must have been the twenty-fifth new person in the last hour.

"I'd like that." You agree, giving a slight wave to Rafe who nods in approval before you're gone.

"It's a lot. I'm sorry." Sarah says, smile on her face as she guides you through the crowd.

"No, it's nice. I like meeting new people."

"No you don't." Sarah cuts you off, and you can tell it's not with bitter intentions.

"Not really, no." You cave and agree, laughing quietly.

"Rafe told me that. He said you didn't talk the first few days he knew you."

"That's not true." You laugh, correcting her quickly. "Not entirely. I was in shock, I guess."

Sarah shrugs, dropping your arm as you reach the bar. Before either of you say anything the bartender, an avox clad in the standard red uniform, places two drinks in front of you.

"Thank you." You smile, lifting the glass. They just nod and quickly move on as Sarah grabs her drink as well.

You sneak off into a somewhat quiet corner, where you can sit and talk without too many people overhearing. "Rafe speaks very highly of you, I was looking forward to meeting you." You offer as you both sit down at an empty couch.

"Now that," Sarah laughs, coughing slightly on her drink. "Is a shock."

"What?" You laugh. "No way, he loves you."

"No." Sarah shakes her head, gesturing across the room to where she's spotted her family. "He loves Wheezie. I'm just around."

You look over to where she pointed, seeing Rafe standing with his sister as they discreetly jab each other in the side while Ward is talking to yet another "important" friend. Rafe is trying to hide his smile, keep it professional, but he's cracking.

"He loves you too. Just as much." You insist. "Are you open to my theory?" You ask, looking at her as she returns her gaze to you, raising a questioning brow.

"Please." She tilts her glass toward you, urging you to continue.

"I think you guys are a lot alike. And that scares him because he doesn't want you to be like him." You say confidently, polishing off the statement with a sip of the champagne in your hand.

"That..." Sarah takes a drink before continuing. "Is not an entirely bad theory."

"Are you going to volunteer?" You ask, deciding to get right to it. Sarah doesn't seem like the type to dance around what she wants to say, she's confident in every statement she makes. She truly does remind you of Rafe when you first met him.

"Did Rafe ask you to talk me out of it?"

"No. I offered." You reply honestly. "But really I'm just curious. He does tend to be kind of biased these days."

"I see." Sarah nods, thinking on it for a moment. "Tell him I haven't decided yet."

"I have two sisters, both your age and Wheezie's, but I also have an older brother. I see myself in both of you." You explain. "I think you should do what feels right to you. Not to Rafe and me, or to Ward, or to anyone, really. But if you did ask me, I would tell you I would volunteer again somehow if it meant sparing my sisters. I wouldn't wish it on anyone."

Sarah listens to you intently. Whether her reaction shows it or not, you can tell she's really thinking about it. That's all you could ask for. "All the fame and the money it could bring your family isn't worth Wheezie's life, so why would it be worth yours?" You add.

"Would you give it up now if it meant you would have never met my brother?" She follows up with a simple question, but it stumps you.

"I don't know." You answer honestly, watching him again across the room. "But he was the only good thing to come out of it."

The air is warm in the Capitol, and you're not sure whether to attribute that to the humidity of polluted and stuffed air, or the several fire features decorating the President's property lawn where you're attending yet another party in your honour. It feels far from welcoming.

You can't bring yourself to drink, despite how tempting it is to drown out the evening in bottles of whatever alcohol they're handing out on seemingly endless trays of crystal glasses. 

You're clinging to Rafe's arm, accepting compliments from people who look like they've never known any kind of trauma in their lives. The way the Capitol elite feel entitled to every detail of your life makes you nauseous.

"Thank you everyone for coming." The President's voice is booming suddenly over speakers you can't see, and everyone's attention is drawn to where he's standing on the balcony overlooking the property. "It is my honour to host our most recent victors here with us tonight, Rafe Cameron and Y/N Y/L/N!" He stops to allow applause as you smile awkwardly and nod to those around you, waiting anxiously for him to continue. You just want to get this over with. 

"Your love story has been an inspiration to us all, and I'd like to raise a toast to your success and to your happiness." People around you congratulate you, and you lean your head onto Rafe's shoulder, squeezing his arm.

"President Snow would like to see you both in his office." A peacekeeper says, appearing out of nowhere and gently escorting you into the building.

"What do you think this is about?" You whisper as you reach a blocked-off hallway.

"I don't know." Rafe mumbles back. He has a good idea though, to him toast sounded more like a threat than a celebration. "Just... let me handle it. Okay?"

You just nod, stopping behind the peacekeeper at a big wooden door. He nods, gesturing that you enter.

"Have a seat." Snow offers, and Rafe pulls out your chair for you, deciding that he would stand. "Thank you for coming."

"We were in the area." Rafe replies impatiently. "What can we do for you?"

"I wanted to discuss our agreement one more time, since clearly, the two of you were left a little confused." Snow says, resting his hands on the desk that sits between you. 

"The money was a show of good faith." Rafe replies, resting his hand on your shoulder. 

"To you, maybe, but to them, it is a sign that you are on their side." The President corrects. "You are not one of them. Not anymore. If they believe that you are, that they have people with power on their side, the uprisings will continue and the death toll will be catastrophic. I have a feeling that both Districts One and Five will not recover."

You bite your tongue, keeping your eyes locked on the rose sitting in front of you on the desk. "I think there is no use in giving the people of Panem false hope, because you do not have the power you think you do. You are not invincible. Do you understand?"

"Yes, sir." You nod softly, anxious to leave.

"Go enjoy the party. After all, it's all for you." Snow dismisses you, and neither of you are in a position to argue.

Leaving the Capitol again was a relief, especially with the promise that a train would be made available to either of you as you wished to travel exclusively between your home Districts. Not that you would particularly want to travel anywhere else, anyway. 

Rafe had a preference for coming to visit you, despite your home being much smaller than his. And much more crowded, but he didn't mind. Having a home full of sounds felt much more welcoming to him, even if he was only there for a weekend here and there. He had sisters to look after as well.

In all those months, he came down twice a month, and you looked forward to it every time. Everything was so normal, besides the interviews you did every so often, just to show everyone how happy you were thanks to the "generosity" of the Capitol, and that's a story you're more than pleased to stick with if it means keeping your families safe.

"It isn't far, right? Because I'm too out of shape for a long hike." Rafe jokes, letting you pull him by the hand through a wooded area not far from your house.

"Oh please, you could do it in your sleep." You laugh, shaking your head. "But no, if you must spoil the surprise, it's not far."

Rafe follows you silently, smiling as he watches you beat your way through a slightly overgrown path. The image flickers in his mind of you in your windbreaker, hair tied back around itself to keep it away from your eyes as you run through the bushes in the arena.

"Here, look." You interrupt his thought process with a jolt, the sunlight blinding him as you push past a final branch and hold it out of his way. "Behold, the pride and joy of District Five." You smile, gesturing out over the cliffside.

"Oh, wow." 

"Isn't it pretty?" You ask, dropping his hand to walk closer to the edge overlooking the large dam. "All the electricity in all of Panem comes from here."

"I didn't expect it to be so... scenic." Rafe says, joining you closer to the edge as you sit down.

"Yeah, it's pretty." You agree, crossing your legs. "My dad worked in there for years, he just retired. My brother works there now."

"I can imagine." Rafe says, tearing his eyes away from the depth of the ravine in front of him to look at you. You look so at home here, he can tell by how you're hunched over so casually tossing pebbles off the cliff that must be a thousand feet deep. Even then, you're not scared. "Do you come here a lot?" 

"Is that a pickup line?" You giggle, leaning back on your palms as you look over at him.

"Well, no, but would it work?" He smirks, placing his hand over yours as he matches your position.

"Only because it's you." You laugh, shaking your head.

"That was the correct answer." Rafe chuckles, looking back down at the giant damn that's filtering water through, powering his family's mansion back home. He thinks of all the hours your dad put in, sometimes sixteen-hour days he recalls him sharing, that he was working in the power plant to keep the lights on at Rafe's kitchen table where he sat with his dad and his sisters rarely uttering a word. The same hours your brother is working now.

"How do you feel about this mentor thing?" You ask out of nowhere. "We start soon."

"I don't know. It'll be weird to be working against you." Rafe replies.

"Don't think of it like that. Besides, what was it you told me, that you have a whole team of them? You probably can just sit back and watch them work." You say, trying to raise his spirits a bit. "That gives us more time to visit."

"I feel like 'visit' is a strong word." Rafe laughs. "Hopefully it'll be more than that." He says, moving over to wrap his arm tightly around your waist, kissing your cheek.

"That would be nice." You agree with a sigh. "I don't know, I just don't know what kind of advice to give. What, find someone you trust? I think we just got lucky."

"You'll be the best mentor." Rafe insists. "I wish I had you."

"I wish we hadn't needed one. I don't want to see kids come through year after year and watch them die. I wish I could make it stop, it all seems so pointless."

"It's about control. They'll never give that up." Rafe shakes his head. "So don't think for a second it's your fault."

"I know... It's just so complicated."

"I'm glad it brought me to you, though." 

You smile, leaning your head on his shoulder.

"Hey!" You're startled by a voice behind you, both of you standing up quickly. "You have to come back." Your brother says, chest heaving from his exertion of running all the way up the hillside.

Rafe relaxes from where he placed himself in front of you at the sound, letting you step in front of him. "What happened?" You ask, seeing the look on his face.

"There's been an announcement." He answers, laboured breathing starting to return to normal. "About the games."

The two of you follow him in silence all the way back, anxiety in both of you spiking after your brother wouldn't answer any more questions. When you walk into the house, you're met with a paused TV, your parents on the couch, and your sister with tear-stained cheeks and reddened eyes. "What happened?" You ask again, hoping to get some answers.

Rafe pulls you close to himself after shutting the front door, leading you into the living room. "Here, um, have a seat, kids." Your mom says, hardly audible as you sit down.

She wipes her eyes as your dad presses play on the television, and it's a rewound clip of the news. Rafe wraps a shaky arm around you on the couch as Caesar Flickerman starts speaking.

"We have a unique announcement today regarding the upcoming, highly anticipated, Seventy-Sixth annual Hunger Games." He starts, and you get tunnel vision as you stare at the screen. "This is a twist no one saw coming on the heels of last year's Quarter-Quell, but President Snow has decided there will be a permanent change in the rules. From now on, any victor remaining under the age of eighteen will once again be eligible for the reaping."

taglist: @bookishbabyyy @madelynie, @whore-4-drewstarkey, @slut4drudy, @winterrrnight, @totalswag, @sadfury @fullfledgedemo @rafemotherfuckingcameron, @urfaveluvr, @chenslucy, @hxnnah-397, @s-we-e-t-t-ea, @tahliac11, @saccharinesammie, @ietss, @maybankslover @redhead1180, @suzyheartsrafe, @wpdailyminimeta, @aegons-bitch, @rafegirly, @lovelyxtommy, @dee127, @r1vrsefx, @gillybear17, @flonkertn, @thatsthewaythechrissycrumbles, @thelomlisrafecameron

[alornights]

⟢ popular

➜ in which ! they're best friends with the most popular kid.

💌 ﹫eric cartman, kyle broflovski, wendy testaburger, craig tucker, bebe stevens.

✩ 🎸 warnings﹗manipulation, blackmail, & ruined reputations.

🍓 ⟡ notes — yipeee south park, please send requests. i'm desperate.

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ eric cartman.

bros the type to just be friends with you for his own gain and interests. what did u expect from this mf?

he wants interesting gossip about one of your friends because they called him fat when he was so obviously ripped? he'll get it.

also uses this friendship to get big-ass leverage on people.

someone like you? he tells them he's your best friend and that if they don't pay him every day, he puts in a bad word for them. if they do pay him, he'll make sure you "hear about this person".

someone trying to dethrone you from the most popular, he's "helping them" when in reality he's just telling you all the info so you help him in the future.

cartman wants someone's entire reputation ruined? tells you they were chatting absolute bullshit about you and by the next day they have no friends and end up moving out of south park.

if you were actually friends with him. power fucking duo. no one was stopping him from doing whatever he wanted.

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ kyle broflovski.

for a good month this guy thought he was that bitch.

everyone wanted to be his friend, the girls loved him (even more than before), and he was gaining tons of friends.

loved gossiping to you about people who tried sweet talking to him to get your favor and people who threatened you.

he would not let anyone take your throne bro, he didn't care if cartman thought he was some kind of slave.

one time just for funsies he got you to ruin cartman's reputation (if he even had one), no one talked to him for a good week.

would ask you for some help talking to a girl. next thing you know after he used a flirting technique girls were fighting over him.

unknowingly you were also helping ikes reputation

so kyle thinks you are some kind of god now. yipee

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ wendy testaburger.

she was never so thankful to have a popular friend.

you deal with most of the bullshit she has to get through.

cartman is saying wendy killed the smurfs? you tell the entire school he still plays with smurf dolls at home while roleplaying.

the whole school for a week picks on cartman for that.

was one of your ogs who helped you around the school when you first came so you do her all sorts of favor.

even if they stem from jealousy over stan....

yeah.. making a girl so isolated in school over a rumor you started that she went insane and was sent to a mental hospital.

you help her a lot with trying to figure out how to make the school better since you've heard many complaints from students.

convinces you to join the cheer team so people will start supporting the sports teams they cheer for.

all in all, your biggest supporter and ally.

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ craig tucker.

what a perfect pair. one of the most popular kids paired with another popular kid. whos surprised.

will gossip to you about anyone whos fake and has talked shit about you and you do the same in return.

helping him get any dirt on team stan.

probably has gotten you to deal with girls who were trying to get with him while he helps you deal with weirdos.

trusts you a lot as someone who knows how fake people are.

while he doesn't ask you to ruin peoples reputation he does ask for any blackmail you can get from your friends.

calls your friends your dogs.

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ bebe stevens.

being the most popular girl had so many perks.

for example, actually ruling over the school. you even had your own room for the two of you after school.

people would line up just to get stuff out of the two of you.

cartman waited in line for 2 hours just for the two of you to deny him any blackmail about kyle and wendy.

stan had to wait an hour just for the two of you to break the sad news of wendy getting with tolkien. L

girls were so jealous of the two of you because all the guys at school wanted to be with you.

got so bad there was a whole war between the ladies.

the two of you had so much power that pc principal is kind of scared of yall and lets you do almost whatever you want.

the two of you are strongwoman's fav.

people think you two are their love child because you are kind of similar to them. pc and having his loyal frat dogs and strong woman's strength and influence on the ladies.

so maybe just maybe if you two wanted someone expelled because they dissed you, the two would expel them.

maybe.

[jess-the-vampire]

Words cannot describe how much l adore your arofam au. I know you started it just before season 2 and all the Wittebane lore was worked in retroactively, but it works so well as a what if scenario? What if Caleb survived that fateful knife fight? With his brother surviving Philip had to face the horrific thing he'd done in a way his canon self never did. Leading him to make choices that still have consequences 400 years later.

And I know you've joked before that arofam Philip suffers so much more than canon, and it's true, but he suffers for The Themes. A lot of his bad situations are at least partially of his own making, and instead of denying accountability he faces it (eventually). At the start he's not what I'd call a "good" person, but he grows and learns and changes for the better. So yeah arofam Philip do be going through it, but he comes out the other side with a family who loves him. Whereas canon Phillip's story ends being mercilessly ground beneath the heels of his enemies.

TLDR: Your arofam au is freaking amazing and I'm low key insane for it.

awwwww that is so sweet! Working on this au, despite all the craziness, has been a blast!

Getting to develop these versions of the characters, put them through their own unique drama and situations, exploring new sides of them....

i am sure this retroactively made me love them more even in the og series, i'm glad you picked up on what i was going for and i'm glad you enjoy it so much!

Philip WAS apparently people's favorite character in this au, and I'm sure that was why

idk, it was nice to do a project where he does develop and realize his faults, and makes up with his brother, it was also nice to have characters interact who'd never do so in canon, playing with their new dynamics and diving into them as characters has been a blast!

one of my proudest and best works, for sure!

it's been fun taking a swap au, and doing my own unique take on it! I love working on it!

Thanks so much for all the support!

[okmcintyre]

Masterlist #2 Bellarke Fanfiction Recs

It's been a couple more years & I'm very happy to report there's been ✨lots✨ more amazing fics shared in our corner of fandom. Y'all know the drill: linking older modern!au recs, the dropship/delinquent-only stories list, a few canonverse recs and of course the OG Masterlist from 2020.

Feel free to add your faves! 💛

Canonverse unless noted otherwise, + fics of of all ratings, so keep your eyes peeled!

Good Days and Bad Days by tiredwetdog 

where have you wandered, my only child? by carrieevew

Little steps by bellofthetolppl

With you in my arms (everything feels alright) by orphan_account 

so this is how rumors get started by ChronicTonsillitis

Bellamy Blake needs to touch some grass by b00mgh

Weathering the Storm by PenguinofProse

Hold on to me (I'm a little unsteady) by TheWordsInMyHead

take a running start by glowinghorizons

the whole world stops by whatspastisprologue

so this is how rumors get started by ChronicTonsillitis

Show Me What I'm Looking For by bitscrawford

What We Built by elle_stone

Can't Find Paradise On The Ground by icantloseyoutoo

It Doesn't End Here by immortalpramheda

You Make it Real by PnclSktch

i'm on my knees, your faith in shreds by stoneage_woman

the radio is playing your favourite song (open the door) by theinvisibledisaster

Hold me still by bellofthetolppl

a kiss is a secret which takes the lips for the ear by troubledpancakes

one less day to be alone by glowinghorizons 

A Short Story About Love by twosuns

must've been some kind of kiss (grounder!au) by carrieevew

Don't Look Back, You're Not Going That Way (viking!au) by andsowemeetagain

And Now You're Home (praimfaya!au) by asroarke

When the Sky Meets the Ground (grounder!au) by Peggysousfan

No Man is an Island, Entire of Itself (hanahaki!au) by MyHeartOfHearts

Walk the Line (doctor/criminal!au) by TheWordsInMyHead

The Other Half of my Soul (soulmate!au) by ZouWrites 

Lone Wolf (nightblood!au) by Peggysousfan

May the Waves Bring You Home (modern!au) by RogueTwelve

The Best Man (bellmillerbffs!au) by PenguinofProse

Mirror Mirror On the Wall (soulmates!au) by SPNOUAT

If My Wishes Came True (modern!au) by bookwormforalways

so I stayed in the darkness with you (soulmates!au) by burninghoneyatdusk

Pieces of Us (modern!au) by daenoora

i think i should go (you said maybe don't) (modern!au) by blaketrash

Only Fools Rush In (modern!au with a twist) by onlyherefor1

Black Out Days (apocalypsey!au) by TotalBellarkeTrash

(do you remember?) dancing in stilettoes in the snow (modern!au) by carrieevew

Share Your Address (modern!au) by useyourtelescope

Better Than Revenge (B/C/L!au) by Excuseyouclarke 

Your words on my skin (soulmate!au) by not_a_total_basket_case

Better with you. (artclass!au) by Luminouswriter 

I Thought The Worst Was Behind Us (modern!au) by onlyherefor1

proposal interruptus (modern!au) by carrieevew

One Way to Find Out (clurphybffs!au) by Silverloc

bet on it (bet on me) (modern!au) by griffenly

The House Guest (modern!au) by Shippershape

After Me Comes The Flood (modern!au) by theinvisibledisaster

I Found Peace in Your Violence (modern!dystopiaish!au) by eyessharpweaponshot

Take Care of Me (And My Heart) (modern!au) by QueenoftheWallflowers 

And in Other News... (news!au) by Jeanie205

love enough to fill me up (domestic!au) by jackiefreckles

Fading Out (soulmates!au) by PenguinofProse

[fated] happenstance (soulmates!au) by she_who_the_river_could_not_hold

The Dying of the Light (wartime!au) by starsonfire

Bellarke The 100 Instagram AU (socialmedia!au) by OhLenaLena

I Don't Want to Dream About You (modern!au) by Dayo488

Too Aware of Where Your Lips Have Been (modern!au) by MissMR

When Bellamy Met Clarke (whenharrymetsally!au) by onlyherefor1

Submarine Man (modern!au) by twosuns

[hobartsaglet]

Let’s talk about Foggy Nelson

TL;DR- if you’re gonna kill him off, make it more compelling.

Chase ranting under the cut:

TW: mentions of g-ns, bl00d, getting sh@t, c@ncer, gr!ef and l@ss

God, the news about cutting Foggy’s role in Born Again short makes me and so many other fans devastated.

I was shocked by these set picture, because Deborah’s face is bloody and it looks like Elden on the ground. And why does it have to happen in front of Josie’s, of all places! That’s so so fucking heartbreaking if what I think happens will happen.

Fuuuck.

I first watched the series just over a year ago, and I instantly connected with Foggy. He’s not one of the big beefy guys beating the snot out of each other on screen. He doesn’t have any radioactive superpowers, he doesn’t know how to fight (unless he has a softball bat), and he could use some work with his Spanish.

But god, I’ve never felt so warm around another character.

He’s kind, he’s a servant heart, he loves unconditionally, and dammit, he loves food! I’ll never forget how hard I cried over the scene of him and Matt in college- sure, it’s a rarity to see Matthew so happy, but it’s even more meaningful that Foggy is there. He’s been by Matt’s side since the day they met. And god, if that isn’t some rugged loyalty, I don’t know what is. Matt treated him like garbage, especially in season 2, season 3, and Defenders, and yet Foggy stays because he just loves his best friend. He wants the best for him.

And so this choice by the Born Again writers, to just throw it all away, seems so cheap.

For people who know me and how I write, I know I’m no better when it comes to killing off characters. I’m not opposed to Major Character Death. But this choice, this way of killing him off seems careless, given the impact he has on the show (and not just his emotional influence. Foggy is part of the reason why Matt does all he does).

Foggy can still be killed off and given a dignified death. I don’t care if the writers killed him off for shock value. Dardevil was never a shock value type show.

Fine, we kill him off.

It makes no damn sense to shoot him on the side of the street, getting it over with in a 2-minute scene.

(Let’s assume that this is what they plan to do, for the sake of what I’m trying to say.)

It’s called Daredevil: Born Again, right?

Rebirth is fucking painful. Sure, so is a gunshot wound to the chest. But so is knowing your best friend is dying and you can do Jack. Shit. about it.

A huge struggle for Matthew is the way he’s constantly fighting tooth and nail for control. Knowing your best friend is dying of cancer (as he suffered in the comics), slowly waning away and there is not a thing you can do about it would hit him so hard and make him lose himself (His metaphorical Death). And he’s trying to hide it all.

Throughout the show, Foggy is there, playing his usual part, but we all have this sense of loss, knowing he won’t be here for much longer. Around the climax of the show, maybe even the finale, it’s time.

For fans of the OG show, we all remember Foggy’s way with words. We remember how he talked down the gang members in the hospital and saved lives. We remember how he had the guts to stand up to Reyes on multiple occasions. We remember his prowess in the courtroom, just as equally matched as his best friend.

So I think Foggy should be the catalyst for Matthew to be Born Again. I think some of his final words are going to make him remember himself.

(And this is not to romanticize cancer in the slightest, and if I were to write this out in full, Foggy’s struggles would be real as they could get. Sending love and empathy to those battling with cancer and those who have lost loved ones. My heart is with you.)

That’s how to make Foggy’s death significant and impactful to his place in Matthew’s life and the narrative.

As Charlie Cox once famously said,

“Foggy Nelson is the beating heart of Daredevil.”

And it would be a damn shame to stop it so soon.

———

(Thanks to @kutpot who helped kickstart this whole rant)

[vclvetfleur]

Obedient Chapter 14

Roman Roy x fem!Reader

Summary: Logan and the family have landed in Dundee for a celebration of Logan and his accomplishments and the announcement of the new CEO. The tension between you and Jess has gotten worse and Roman has been off.

This takes place S2 E8 Dundee

TW: L to the OG, Dude be the OG, humiliation, Logan Roy

Word Count: 4.5K

Notes: I've never laughed so loud maybe a chapter in my whole life.

Chapter 14: L to the OG

You had gotten ready for the event, dressed in a long gown. It was a curved neckline; the skirt being draped. It had been a vintage Vivienne Westwood dress you had bought out of impulse now that you had the money to burn. You had always loved that designer. Anything unique looking was something you had to have. But it was classy. It made you look like a goddess in your eyes. You walked down to make sure Roman was good to go. You knocked, seeing Jess walk by in her dress.

She spotted you, looking upset to see you going to Roman. She knew she couldn’t stop whatever the two of you had, but she wished she could. She didn’t see the appeal you had to him. She never saw the appeal you had for most of the men you dated. She thought you dated the worst kind of men. And she was proven once again. She just looked disappointed. Your head turned away from her once Roman opened the door. You had walked in, shutting the door behind him. Roman was nowhere near dressed yet.

“Roman- why is taking you longer for you to get ready than me?” You sighed, crossing your arms across your chest.

“Sexist. I thought you’d be better than that.” Roman laughed. He had been eyeing you since you had walked in though. His eyes were practically glued to you. He was still in complete awe at how you would come to him most nights and kiss him or just be with him. Despite all of his fuck ups and his disgusting behavior, you always came to him. You showed him the one thing he always craved: love. He was in awe of you. “Do you wanna skip this and just elope? I mean you’re practically dressed for it.” He smiled, not sure if he was serious himself. But he wouldn’t mind if you said yes. “Roman stop. Just get dressed you fucking idiot.” You pushed the request aside. You hadn’t even been together for that long. You were not going to get married this young. Roman was way too old for you, being in his mid-30s while you were just leaving your early 20s and reaching your mid-20s. You couldn’t pause your life because of his age. “Come on. Go put on a boring black or navy suit.” You requested.

“If I knew you’d be wearing that, I’d get something to match. Like two horny kids at prom or something.” He teased. You faked a gag at the thought. He grabbed the suit he had packed and got dressed in front of you. You were the only one he had really felt comfortable enough to get this exposed in front of. Not that it was much. As soon as Roman had boxers on, he pulled his pants off before taking his shirt off in front of you. He seemed to only be a certain amount of ‘nude’ in front of someone. Even the night before. “You didn’t tell me what you thought.” You tried to fish a compliment out of him. You had been waiting to show him this dress for a week now. You had hyped it up so much that he even got tired of hearing it; at least he pretended to be tired of it. You got up twirling around, showing off the details of the gown to him.

Roman stared at you, looking at you as if he was trying to hold back his actual comments. “Roman… come on. You don’t like it?” You asked him. He shrugged and took another look at it. “Sooooo-“ You asked once more.

“It’s fucking sexy. You look like a runway model. Uhh- I think you’re too good for me. You’re practically out of my league. Good? Now come on.” Roman told you, before playing a kiss onto you before leaving the room.

You didn’t bother to question, following along. You walked in with Roman, being told where your seats would be for the evening. “How’d the meeting with Eduard go?” You asked him.

“Uhh- great actually. He has daddy issues just like me apparently.” He mentioned to you. Connor waved at Roman, making Roman regret even looking his way. He felt obligated to even talk to him. You still felt so sorry for seeing how Connor was treated. You didn’t know what exactly happened, but he seemed upset when he left the room. And Roman didn’t help.

But Connor being the big brother he was, he even bothered to get you 3 drinks.

“So- Willa’s play is coming up soon. Are you excited?” You started a conversation with Connor.

“Oh yeah- I mean I watched her go over it plenty of times. I think it’s great. I Just- I’m so excited for her.” He gloated about her. You watched as he glowed, talking about Willa and her project. It felt like he could talk about her for hours. It kind of made you sorry for him seeing how Willa had reacted to him in the past from when you had seen her. Roman made a few offensive comments, but you had shut them down immediately.

The conversation was cut short as Rhea set everyone to surprise the guest of honor, but it only seemed to annoy Logan. He walked out and shortly came back.

“What a ray of fucking sunshine.” You whispered, sipping on your champagne glass.

“Rhea is a fucking idiot.” Roman giggled, knowing this was all Shiv’s plan to just embarrass her more. And she did exactly that. You looked around and saw Jess at the bar with a guy. “Did you two break up? I mean seriously. The look she’s been giving you the past couple of days.” Roman tried to ask in the only way he actually could.

“Uh- we haven’t talked since Argestes.” You finally mentioned. You don’t think you had time to ever talk about it. You just went on with your days, extremely hurt that your best friend was taking this so seriously. “She found out. And she isn’t happy about it.” You tried to be coy, knowing a reporter could hear since there had been press for the night.

You wanted to talk it out with her. You both knew you couldn’t make a scene here. It had to be civilized. Roman felt guilt for breaking up your friendship for what had happened between the two of you. But he didn’t understand why you were willing to let it happen for him. He never thought of himself as anything special. You downed your drink and gained the confidence to finally confront Jess one more time. “I’m gonna talk to her. I can’t.” you told Roman before leaving him behind. He just watched amused at how determined you were.

You walked over to Jess, your heart beating faster with every step you took. You didn’t mind confrontation, just not with people you loved and cared for.

“Jess. We need to talk.” You weren’t going to take no for an answer. Jess looked at the man she had just started a conversation with and put up a finger to let him know she’d be back. You grabbed her hand and led her away from where most people stood. “Just fucking let this go, Jess. I get it. Haha, I learned my lesson.” You were doing anything to just get her to look at you at this point.

Jess had seen how you and Roman had behaved for the past couple of days. And honestly, you seemed happy. You had been laughing more. You were more excited. Roman was less of an asshole. He actually started thinking before he said heinous shit. He still said disgusting and unforgiving things, but it lessened. She really saw that you were happy. Despite whatever you and Roman had. You both weren’t technically together. Or hooking up. Just two co-workers who had a lot of sexual and possibly romantic feelings for one another and spent most of their time together. But that was all. Jess couldn’t argue with how nice it was to see you happy. You had been so miserable in most of your relationships. Feeling like you had to go along with whatever they did. But you didn’t. There was no pressure to. Roman didn’t argue back. He listened to you. He thought you were actually worth listening to. You both had some kind of mutual understanding.

“Do you love him?” Jess asked you. You stopped, not sure about your own feelings for Roman. You just thought about it. You weren’t sure. You had love for him. You cared about him. But did you love him? Maybe in the future. But it was way too soon to go there. “I really like him. I mean- love is strong, but y’know. I worry about him.” You admit to her. You didn’t have a lot to argue about. You couldn’t lie. You were willing to do so much for him. You spent nights making sure he was okay. You had held him while he wept. You had shared certain personal things with him. You weren’t willing to just tell anyone. But you did.

“Just- how did it happen?” Jess continued to interrogate you. “Uh- like 2 months ago? We got drunk and kissed. Then I told him we couldn’t do this and- I don’t know Ken and I went out clubbing and he convinced me to go confront him…” You tried to recall the story before Jess had cut you off. You knew she’d be upset, but you couldn’t lie even more than you had been for the past 2 months.

“Fucking dick hole- He knew? He knew before me?” She asked, hurt that you trusted Kendall more than her. You could barely look at her. You just nodded. “I was fucking high and drunk. Okay? And plus, I felt so guilty about hiding it from you. I needed to say something. But anyways just- I went over and I tried to make a move. And he rejected me. But Jess- he’s not a bad dude… He’s a fucking asshole, sure, but he really isn’t that bad. He made sure I was fine. He put me in a guest room and bought me food and made sure I had a toothbrush, and I had a trash can to throw up in. And I don’t know dude. I like him. Okay?” You couldn’t defend him anymore. Jess stood there and tried to think of her response to you. She knew your standards weren’t that high, but for Roman to even bother to go to a store to pick something up was something he'd never really do. She knew Roman was awful, but she had seen him be a good person. Especially to Kendall after his relapse. He had driven to the worst part of town to pick him up at a trap house. He was there for Kendall a lot. Even with his intense divorce from Rava. “Uh- okay… So how’d it start after that?” she shrugged, still trying to draw a conclusion.

“I just- we agreed to keep this as quiet as possible. Cause the drama. And yea- we’ve just been doing whatever the fuck we’ve been doing…” You let out a deep breath. It was a lot of stress put on you. You didn’t know how to explain your relationship. “Are you actually happy though? Like even though Roman has been saying fucked up shit about the Cruises scandal?” She questioned you.

Honestly, it made you miserable to hear him talk about the victims, but you kept trying to work on it with him. He was trying to learn. He had been. You were the only one he genuinely listened to. And his comments had lessened. Just you weren’t as important as his dad. “I am. I’m just trying my best with someone who makes me laugh and smile and just- yea he’s some kind of weirdo fucked up perv, but you have to know it’s bullshit, Jess.” You tried to make her understand. Everything Roman did or said was a way to protect himself. He couldn’t have anyone know how he actually felt. He had to hide under a weird persona. It was his only coping mechanism. “You think he really means half what he says? You saw what Logan did that day. You see that and tell me he’s a mentally well-adjusted man who doesn’t need some kind of support. You know I was in that same exact boat when we met.” You reminded her.

You were definitely intense when you had met Jess. You were either in a manic state or extremely depressed. You had gotten into fights with multiple people. You danced on bar counters. You had done risky shit to just some kind of laugh. You were not well. But Jess was there to help you. You were grateful for her. But she had to be generous now with Roman. She saw it just as much as you. She heard the stories. She knew. She just was too focused on his flaws. “Fine- I’m sorry I ignored you… I just- I don’t know- He’s just- Well him. I’m more hurt you lied to me about it. I just wish I knew rather than having to find out.” She admits. You pouted, trying to keep your emotions to yourself. “Oh stop. Don’t be a fucking crybaby now.” She tried to laugh, bringing you into a hug. You wrapped your arms around her tightly, scared to let go. You held her so tight as if she would slip away from you again. “You look gorgeous by the way…” She whispered. You giggled pulling away from her.

“Thank you. I’m sorry I lied. I mean it. I really love you.” You were over the moon now that Jess and you had finally talked it out. “Yeah. Okay. Well while my boss is busy preparing for his amazing performance, I’m trying to bring that guy home.” She pointed out the guy she had met at the bar. You nodded, letting her finally go. She left a kiss on your cheek to reassure you both were fine.

You spotted Roman quickly, as Shiv and him were at their table, talking shit together possibly. You took a seat next to him, placing a hand over his shoulder. “Hey- We worked it out.” You told him. Shiv was taking snacks off of a small bowl in front of her and chewing on them. “Ooo-what happened? Did Roman make you have to make someone sign an NDA for sexual misconduct?” Shiv joked about Roman’s sexual depravity. “Fucking Ha. Very clever. Oh, how was that actor you fucked while Tom jerked off in your apartment alone?” Roman tried to insult Shiv’s relationship with Tom. He had known way too much about his sister's personal relationships. But it wasn’t like they were any good at hiding it.

“The fact you’re this invested in my sex life just proves your perversion Rome.” She said in retaliation. Tom just shifted uncomfortably. He never really tried to insult Roman like his wife. He always knew that in some way he was never nearly family enough for the Roys to ever consider him one of them.

“This actually had nothing to do with Roman. For the first time in a while.” You tried to ease the tension. You grabbed a glass from a waiter and thanked him. “I had my own little thing to deal with. Just my own sexual depravity.” You joked, hoping Shiv would lay off Roman for a bit and vice versa.

You weren’t technically wrong. You were apologizing to Jess about your weird attraction to Roman.

The show began to start with Kendall going on the stage and making an announcement for his father. You all watched in boredom as it seemed like the same stupid speech. You saw Roman pretending to jerk off, calling Kendall a jerk off. “Yeah- tell us more abo- what the fuck is he doing?” He stopped as he watched Kendall take his jacket off to reveal a jersey that was custom-made for the event. You began to laugh, completely in shock. You looked around your table, seeing the same horrified looks.

“No fucking way…” You couldn’t stop yourself laughing, cackling as the music began to start. You covered your mouth with your hands.

Logan just revealed a new song he had made for Logan. You couldn’t hold your excitement, pulling your phone out to record this beautiful moment. “Oh no.” Roman kept repeating, embarrassed for his own brother. It was like a car crash you couldn’t look away from.

“Y/n, send that to me.” Shiv asked you. You out a thumbs up before covering your hand to laugh again. You didn’t want to ruin the video.

“It’s so fucking good… Roman we gotta get this on Apple Music or something...” You told him. You watched as Shiv already was recording too. Multiple people were.

You let out a scream, hearing Kendall rap the lyrics ‘pucker up bitch and go kiss the ring.’

“GO KEN!!!” You cheered for him. He was surprisingly extremely confident. There was no way he was sober. Or mentally doing well. This had to be a manic episode.

You mouthed the chorus to Roman, moving your head to the side to annoy him. He just looked around to see everyone else’s reaction. This was a shit show. But it was so beautiful. He couldn’t watch it in its entirety.

“When I say L, you say OG!” Kendall told the audience. “L to the...” He started.

You screamed ‘OG’ mostly to get a rise out of Roman and to continue this embarrassment. Kendall came down the stage and put the mic in front of Roman, trying to make him sing along. “You need to fuck stop this.” Roman warned him, but Kendall just continued with the song, even though he was discouraged on the microphone in front of everyone. You watched Logan’s reaction, seeing his disappointment clearly seen on his face.

“Oh you’re never gonna stop me from singing this now…” You stopped recording, still laughing to yourself. “Do we have bleach? You think if I pour enough, I’ll forget what I just saw?” You continued to joke about the performance. You looked over at Jess, her hand over her mouth, laughing just as loud. You tried to hide your smile, looking at her with wide eyes and a smile, asking her ‘What the fuck was that?’ 

She laughed, shrugging, and put her hands up. You gestured her over to you, making room for her. You had made someone get a chair for her, squeezing her in. She tried to make space for herself, luckily everyone moved enough. “That was… Jess, if you put him up to that, you’re the evilest human being I have ever met.” You couldn’t stop laughing. You didn’t even notice Roman had gotten up to talk to Logan. “I swear- that- that was just as big of a shock to me.” You both laughed. A screen appeared of all the kids making a speech to Logan. “Oh, my fucking- what is this shit?” Jess shook her head.

“It’s Dad’s team making us lie about what kind of dad he was.” Shiv responded. She was so embarrassed, cringing as she saw herself on the screen. You pulled your phone out again and began to record Roman’s part. You looked around for Roman to show him what you caught on camera. He had just come back, quiet and not in a mood to even speak or make any eye contact. He had just surprised Logan with the announcement of buying Logan’s favorite team to only find out he had bought the wrong team. In turn, he was, of course, berated by Logan for it. He kept to himself, nearly holding himself. He had laid back in his chair, chewing on his nails, watching Logan go up on the stage for the announcement of the CEO. He knew it wasn’t him. Especially after the shitty gift he was given. It was unfortunately Rhea. You looked at Roman, worried for him as the room filled with clapping at the announcement. Roman acted like it didn’t affect him, exaggerating a clap, and pouting his bottom lip. “Fucking crip keeper cunt.” He whispered to himself.

You didn’t bother to clap or stand up. “You alright?” You asked him. He looked at you and then quickly looked away. “Mhm...” he shrugged. You sighed, laying a hand on his back, rubbing his back, trying to soothe him. Jess watched how careful you were with him. She saw what the appeal was. She got up, laying a hand on your shoulder. She looked at you, giving you a look of understanding and acceptance. She walked away so Roman could finally be able to speak. “Come on… Let’s take a walk… It’ll do you some good…” You tried to encourage. He shook his head, putting his hands down in his lap. “Alright… do you want to- “ You tried to find anything to get him out of this mood. “Can you stop trying to fucking therapize me? I’m not a fucking mental patient.” He snapped. You took your hand off. You knew he didn’t mean it. He was just upset. He waited for you to insult him or at least walk away. But you sat there and just accepted it.

Guilt began to settle in with Roman. He put his hands in his head, embarrassed that he had been nasty to you. “Fucking Christ…” He mumbled. He wasn’t able to get his feelings settled.

You began to hum a tune. As you got louder, you began to mumble the lyrics. “L to the OG… Dude be the OG…” You sang softly to him, cracking a smile. Roman put his hands away, looking at you, trying not to look amused. He failed desperately before laughing lowly. “I’ll tell Ken to get in the studio for you.” He joked with you. The moment died down as Roman’s insecurities began to creep up. Kendall, despite being an embarrassment, was still better than he was to Logan. He looked away again. “Uh- dad didn’t like the deal with Eduard…” He finally mentioned. “Apparently I bought the wrong fucking team…” He admits. He looked at you for guidance. Or just to admit to him you also thought he was stupid too. He didn’t understand how he kept messing up so miserably.

“Rome… I’m sorry… Logan’s just a miserable old man.” You tried rationalizing it to Roman. He shook his head no. “Dad’s not old. No- he’s just- look at him. He’s not fucking old.” Roman denied the accusation if you could call a fact an accusation. You put your hands up in defense and nodded. “Okay- But Rome he’s like 80…” You tried to explain. “Yeah, but he’s built like he’s 40. So-“Roman kept being in denial about his father's inevitable mortality. You nodded and just let this go. You couldn’t argue about this with him. Logan’s health has been on a decline since you met him. Possibly even longer. You remember seeing on the news he had gone to the hospital. But since then, you’ve seen his memory get worse, he was weaker, he could barely walk as much, and he vomited a lot. He was in the worst shape you’ve ever seen him. Possibly that’s why Roman was so quick to move this relationship. He wanted to show his dad he was just as normal as his siblings. He could get married. Move in with a woman. Have a kid possibly. But nothing Roman was going to do was prove Logan’s bias opinion about Roman not being normal.

“Let’s get a bottle together… And go to the pier… Aaaaaaaand…” You tried to get Roman to stop sulking. He looked at you, glad to have your presence around. He put a hand on your leg and nodded. Jess had almost walked out, watching you and Roman for a bit. She felt so stupid, ignoring you for so long. You really did like Roman. Jess had never seen you look at someone like that before. Sure, you had men come in and out of your life and you had given them a certain look, but this was so much more different. She was shocked to even admit it to herself, but she really thought you were falling for Roman. This wasn’t just whatever hook-up situation you framed it as. It was a relationship. And you both were clearly in love with each other. The way Roman looked so soft around you. Content. Safe. Happy. She just left, glad that, despite Roman being an absolute psycho, you were happy. You had found something you always needed.

“Come on… let’s get up…” You directed. Roman rejected the drinking though. He wanted to be in the moment with you. You walked out to the pier with him, keeping a professional enough looking distance.

“A-1 ratings, 80k wine…” your phone began to play. Roman put his hands up to his ears. You couldn’t help but burst into laughter as Roman couldn’t stand the song. Absolutely despised it.

“I’m glad you’re having fun with that.” He said in an annoyed high pitch voice.

“I am. It’s perfect Roman. Come on. You just don’t understand the beauty of music. I mean the lyrics. Come on. Shakespeare couldn’t write anything better.” You tried to annoy Roman even more. You laid against the pier. Most people had left at this point. No one was here anymore to celebrate Logan. They were tired. You adored any time you got with Roman. He had quickly become your safe space. You just admired, his eyes darting into the water, trying to see how deep it was.

“Uhm- Rome…” you called out to him. You knew it was true. As soon as his eyes hit you, you knew what you had told Jess wasn’t true. She had asked you something before when she was questioning your relationship with Roman. But you didn’t know if it was there. But after tonight you had no doubt about it.

“Huh?” He asked, his eyebrows raised, asking you to answer.

“I love you.” You confessed.

There was a long pause. You didn’t know what was taking him so long. Roman just stared at you as if he was trying to gather his feelings together before responding. What if this was a mistake?

“Oh-uh. Cool.” Roman said awkwardly.

You stood there. Your chest hurt. It felt as though your heart had just been crushed instantly. You just walked away. You couldn’t be there anymore.

“Y/n. Hey!” Roman called out, but it seemed muffled. You couldn’t hear him. You just had to make it out of there as fast as possible. You got into whatever car you could and told him where your hotel was.

Roman tried to catch up, but you had been gone.

Notes: Damn Rome... We were all rooting for you king.

Chapter 15

[latte-ella]

L cougar moment

For the record, I am black.

Now these aren't my usual type of posts but just let me rant on my shit cuz this genuinely pissed me off.

Now I'm sure everyone and their mother heard of the drama between CougarMcDowell, how he prioritized making inappropriate content rather than the next update for the Tabi mod, which is now cancelled. I needn't give you an introduction but if you're really curious, do your own research.

This post is targeted at Cougar himself as I have a few choice words I need to get across to him, even if he never sees this, I just wanna get this off my chest.

Now drama in the FNF community is nothing short of new, neither is a mod getting cancelled (hell I worked on one that was cancelled, I'll show y'all my work another time) but the circumstances that led to the Tabi mod being cancelled pisses me off so much, as if it could've been easily avoided.

Now for context, CougarMcDowell is pretty infamous for his softcore porn-esque thumbnails and subjects he and other people voice act in rather suggestive comics or drawings. Thing is, he voices Tabi in the OG mod and even in the updated version (the one with better visuals and voice acting). Homisky gave Cougar ownership of Tabi and asked him to take good care of him essentially, whilst still harboring a lot of care, as did a lot of people in the fandom did.

And what did he do? Make shit like this.

A lot of these are comics that I've seen and to be honest, I couldn't help but have a sour taste in my mouth each time. Literally in the last image, Ayana is nude bro 💀

But the only reason why I kept going back was for stuff like this. The non-raunchy and overally sexual thumbnails.

These thumbnails are flashy, fun, and colorful and have done a stellar job at catching my eye. I watched them and adored them because it didn't try to be something it wasn't. It also wasn't uncomfortably sexual, like why TF is Nikusa or Ayana always going some devious shit to Tabi? He looks violated in almost every one of them. Innuendo is one thing, seeing straight up porn on my YT recommendations is not.

Cougar, not EVERYTHING needs to be sexual.

If you wanna make a suggestive comic dub, fine, but don't advertise towards minors 💀. Content farming is known to be directed at children and what would you know, I've been getting your comics recommended to me ever since I was 15.

And even your team expressed to prioritize the mod instead of your channel and you managed to do the complete opposite. You didn't communicate and made it difficult to work with. Your job as a director is to help your team and work through their problems together, cuz that's how a team works.

When I watched your stuff, in my mind, I knew this shit was weird but I continued to make excuses but now that people are actually starting to point out this shit was weird, I'm confident enough to put together my opinion on you and your content.

Cougar, you're a wonderful voice actor and your role as Tabi was incredibly inspirational and impactful on not only me but others too. Even on your channel, I could tell you had skill, but even then, you're seriously holding yourself back.

I know this post is pretty messy, I just wanna throw up my thoughts a bit cuz this has been stewing and building up for days and I just needed an outlet. Anyways back to our scheduled programming, see y'all later 🤜🤛

[sso-montana]

Some Highschool Montana AU let's go (called Legacy AU or L!*rest of words* for short}

Her and Justin went to the same highschool as the soul riders (and like half the other npcs) in jarleheim

Since L!Montana never moved away from Jorvik or had to semi regularly change schools she was actually able to make some friends. Not much, since she's naturally more of a loner, but there are like 2 or 3

Those friends consist of Justin, Maya and Loretta

Loretta still developed a crush on Justin but not nearly as huge as in the og timeline, this is because literally everyone and their mothers but them could see that dewblossom had a crush on each other since their were 12

There was a period of time where L!Montana was scared that Justin would replace or forget her, since he was more popular than her and, unlike her, didn't struggle with making new friends during their teenage years. Justin was so confused by this because Montana was not just a school friend but his best friend and didn't even realize that she was feeling that way until she noticeably spend less time with him and they had an argument abt it

What lead to the argument was him realizing Montana had spend less and less time with him the past few months and was hanging out with another guy instead. This was also what made Justin realize that he actually had a crush on her because in all his life he had never hated someone so much as that guy and he hadn't even met the poor boy in person. They were abt 16 there

Montana didn't realize how she felt until years later when Justin went with Sabine to the Oil Rig and felt so betrayed and hurt that he'd leave despite her protests

Funfact in this AU Montana, and the others succeeded in rescuing Justin the first time because Katjas mind control wasn't enough to surpress years of friendship and not talked abt crush feelings

In the AU Montana was actually the one who suggested maya start working at moorland stables

Having friends during her teenager years also means she never developed such a big fear of losing people or being afraid of getting close to them to begin with

Moving on to magic stuff, where main Montana is already strong L!Montana is on an whole other level. Discovering her powers earlier meant she had a lot more time to train and develop her skills than main Montana and girl used that time well. If L!Montana and main Montana would fight against each other, same age and no magic corruption, L!Montana would win by a mile

She didn't started doing martial arts until after finding out abt her feelings but her magic control is much better

L!Montana never got a motorcycle license since horses are can get you almost everywhere in Jorvik (she still has a car license to be able to go to Jorvik City easier)

[queenofbaws]

Okay, so I've been thinking nonstop about Ashley having a crush on one Chris Hackett ever since you joked about it, and I think (hope) that I reached the same plane of existance that you did because I'm obsessed now. Cause while the rest of the hacketteers are confused, you know poor Caleb and Kaylee are downright horrified because 'oh my god, that's our dad what is WRONG with you??????' dhdjskshsks

And, just because I think it just makes things even funnier for me, I also like to think that while og Chris is still completely oblivious to the crush she has on him, he manages to clock the one on Mr H in *seconds*. You know that he would spend the entire summer sulking and wondering wtf chackett has that he doesn't and resenting him even more for it. Which makes the whole being terrified that Mr. H is a vision of his future even more confusing cause apparently Ashley is into that? And what the hell does he have Chris doesn't?

Basically it's the most confusing and insane summer that they've ever had. Ashley with the weirdest and most confusing crushes (to anyone else), and Chris with the weirdest and most confusing identity crisis (to himself). Meanwhile, Josh spends the entire summer face planted onto a picnic table wondering what on earth he did to deserve having these two complete absolute morons are his best friends AHDJDLSNSHD

"This is the weirdest fuckin' thing that's ever happened around here," Kaylee said, and without bothering to check whether anyone else was looking her way, she turned and very pointedly caught her brother's eye before adding, "and I'm countin'...everything."

"Oh come on, don't be such a fuddy-duddy," Emma laughed, giving Kaylee's hair a tousle. Her smile faded when she turned back towards the general store, though, turning into something a little closer to a grimace as she continued, "I'm sure...lots of people have crushed on Mr. H in the past! He's..." She tilted her head to the side, trying to get a better (or at least different angle on him), "...non-threatening."

Emily made a noise at that, her eyes coming distressingly close to rolling all the way back into her skull. "That's definitely a word, I'll give you that."

"Yeah!" agreed Abi, nodding maybe less enthusiastically as she might've, had they been talking about...literally anything else. "And I mean, um...I mean...it makes sense, doesn't it? Because...him and Chris are like..."

"The same person?" Echoing Abi's nod, Sam smiled. It didn't quite come off as friendly as she'd meant for it to be, not when she already sensed Josh plotting. "Yeah. Yeah, they are. Sort of. I get the feeling Mr. H wouldn't lie down and die if he found himself lost in the middle of the woods, though. Or, y'know. A public park. Chris might."

"I think you mean would," said Jess. "Chris would die in the middle of the woods. Pretty sure we all freaking saw the proof of that." She held her hands out and, as she'd known they would, the rest of the Blackwood kids nodded and made sounds of agreement, remembering exactly how miserable he'd been during their ill-fated night on the mountain. "But at least he's not always wearing khaki, blech. Like, the 1950s called, Mr. H. They want their whole deal back."

"No one," Kaylee interrupted amid a full-body shudder, pulling her legs up onto the picnic table bench with the rest of her, "not a single person on Earth has ever liked Dad. Ever."

"Bad news, pipsqueak. Guy's got two kids. That means someone liked him once. Someone liked him a whole l - ow!" Jacob whirled around with an indignant "Dude!" but Matt just shook his head, chopping one of his hands across the air in front of his throat to get him to cut it out. "I'm just saying."

It wasn't often Caleb said much, not around the rest of them anyway, but when he did, it usually packed a hell of a punch. This was no exception. "Nah, Kay's right. This is...I don't know what it is, but nah, no one's ever had a crush on Dad. No one except Ryan, maybe."

Kaitlyn choked on her drink, giving Sierra Mist a whole new meaning as she sprayed Jacob with a mouthful of soda. Dylan wasn't much better off, rocking on his seat as though someone had hauled off and slapped him across the face. He recovered quicker than she did, his usual mask of nonchalance slipping back over his face as he snickered, "Uh huh. Sure. Riiight. Because Mr. H is totally Ryan's type."

The laughter that overtook the table - the perplexed, uncertain, uncomfortable, strained laughter - fell to perfect silence when Ryan opened his mouth.

"I mean..." was all he got out.

The table erupted again, though that time, uh, not in laughter. You'd've thought someone had whipped a dead chipmunk out onto the table, so impassioned were the "Oh God!"s and the "No way!"s and the "Holy shit!"s as arms were flung into the air and people stood from where they'd been sitting and hell just sort of genuinely broke loose.

The only one who didn't seem to react much (if at all) was Josh, who continued to sit with his chin in his hand and a glower on his face. He was getting too old for this shit.

(please don't count, this is definitely JUST) six sentence sat(or)sunday!!!

[valkyriesexual]

i got tagged in that thing about ‘post 8 shows to get to know me better’ which like... i feel like none of this makes any sense and i am dating myself here. but nevertheless.

1. buffy the vampire slayer (1997 - 2003). listen. it’s iconic. i have complicated feelings about it now, given everything we know about what the actresses went through on set with joss whedon, but at the time, it was formative. faith in the leather pants eating twizzlers in that apartment that the mayor put her up in is one of my earliest “oh i’m kinda gay” moments. belonging pt 2 still makes me cry. willow and tara. i’ll never be over it.

2. queer as folk (1999 - 2005) obviously, in the late 90s / early 2000s i was searching for queer rep anywhere i could find it.  we had just gotten direct tv, i think so my dad could watch the sopranos. little did he know, i was watching 30 year old brian fucking 18 year old justin taylor on the lowest tv volume possible after sneaking into the living room at 2 in the morning after everyone else had gone to bed. is it good representation? is it fucked up that the relationship that anchored the show was between a grown man and a teenager? i wasn’t thinking about it like that when i watched it.  i was just absolutely in awe. 

3. the l word (2004 - 2009) listen. if you watched the l word and wanted to bang shane, you were probably straight.  if you watched the l word and wanted to get railed by jennifer beals, you were just a mortal. if you watched the l word and wanted to be jenny schecter before she got that little dog... you were me. i may have been the only one in the world? i don’t know what that says about me.

4. charmed (og) (1998 - 2006) i watched charmed reruns literally every single day after school.  i adored charmed.  beautiful powerful women living in san francisco with the most bonkers late-90s / early 2000s fashion fighting demons? i was all in.  i remember my dad telling me that he thought holly marie combs was “plain looking” and i’m still offended.  Its been 25 years.

5. south of nowhere (2005 - 2008) i feel like i was the only person in the world who watched this show. it was on nickelodeon (???). it had 3 seasons. gabrielle christian moves from ohio to los angeles and falls in love with mandy musgrave. it disappeared and tbqh i can barely believe it aired when and where it did.

6. crazy ex girlfriend (2015 - 2019) a show about older ppl for an older me. i obviously relate a lot to a california attorney with a complicated relationship with her body and mental health struggles.  so. i stopped watching before the last season so i could continue to live in my fantasy world where rebecca was with nathaniel.  i know i’m in the minority, but i thought they were perfect together. the chemistry was off the charts. he matched her intellect. i loved it.

7. orange is the new black (2013 - 2020). i mean, it basically started off the rise of netflix’s original content, right? i mean, now, looking at how netflix treats their original content creators, it’s bad. but still.  and i think about danielle brooks saying "so I'm sitting there, bbq sauce on my tiddies" all the time. and i’ll never be over what they did to poussey. and how they handled it the next season by painting the killer corrections official as sympathetic. i didn’t watch anything after that season.

8. skins uk (2007-2013). this is another one that i have complicated feelings about, given what the now-adult actors have said about their experience filming the show as teens. the star power this show brought us though. dev patel. daniel kaluuya. jack o’connell. kaya scodelario. it was really something. i remember downloading it and watching it on my first laptop sitting on my fire escape and smoking as a college student and thinking that i was just so deep and grown up. how embarassing lmfao fml