#and thats something i am not prepared for
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Someone said that if this was just a Netflix show he would have ate her out at the ending of EP 2. And let's just say that's what inspired this.
Anyway, hello 👋🏾 Yes I am shamelessly joining everyone in the excitement for this show. Did I start the show at 11pm? Yes. Did I then proceed to immediately start writing this at 2am? Yes. And you know what? I have no regrets (it's now basically 5am).
This is obviously an interpretation in an alternate timeline/universe. Dont get your panties in a bunch. Also my writing is not perfect. This ended up being longer than anticipated but apparently thats my m.o. I rarely get inspired to write so I wanted to just get it all out. Enjoy!
The glass shattered as it hit the floor.
Hee Joo could hear her heartbeat in her ears. Her hands were clammy and she felt out of breath.
How could she be so silly? How had she walked into this mess? 'A fire .. my god' she thought. 'Was he hurt?' What if at this very moment he was in the hospital? She'd known since last night something was wrong. She'd felt it in her gut. That was why she had waited for him. Only exhaustion had allowed her to sleep. Now hours later she wished she had done something, anything. But what could she have done? Everyone saw her as useless. What could she do now? She needed to-
Her thoughts were interrupted by the beeping of the door lock. 'He's here!?' She thought in equal parts shock and relief.
The news in the background continued as he came into view. She was expecting him to be disheveled but she still was not prepared.
His shirt had soot and dirt. His hair looked as though he had been running his hand through it all night. His eyes were red rimmed from lack of sleep. But more than that, they were filled with emotion. She had never seen him.. so affected.
He stalked toward her. Instinctively she stepped back only to come in contact with the table. She almost gasped when his hands found her waist and lifted her to the table. He must have lost his mind last night. In all their years of marriage she could count on one hand the number of times he'd touched her this way.
Her breath was caught in her throat. She stared at him stunned.
"Lately, nothing makes sense" Sa Eon said.
"There can't be a Hong Hee Joo I don't know about."
Hee Joo's brain was not working. She couldn't think straight with him this close. What did he mean?
"I need to find out" he continued, eyes shifting to her skirt "which one is the real one".
She knew. She knew before he moved what he was going to do.
"Right now, you're my only lead. So cooperate."
He reached for her skirt. Lifting it two inches before instinct had her stopping him.
He was really going to do it! Oh my, why had she gotten herself into this situation? How would she keep him from doing this now? When he was so determined. And why was she..getting turned on. Maybe it was how close he was to her. Maybe it was because it had been years since she had been with someone. But she knew the truth was it was his eyes. The way they seemed to be staring into her soul. The way they were showing so many emotions. Anger, confusion, frustration ...lust.
Was she imagining that last one?
"Do you want to take it off, or should I?". He had fisted her skirt. She stared at him chest rising and falling as though all the oxygen was gone from the room.
She didn't know what came over her. Before she could think about it her hand continued where he had left off.
His eyes never left hers the entire time. While a moment ago he was almost desperate, now it seemed as though he had all the time in the world.
She lifted it just enough to reveal what she knew he wanted to see. The material bunching in her lap but still covering her under garment. Slowly his eyes shifted down. Where ever his eyes touched felt like fire on her skin. She saw the moment he found her mole. His jaw clenched and when she looked down his hand which had fallen beside her leg on the table was balled into a fist.
He exhaled loudly "I see.. so this is the real Hee Joo." His hand lifted. Finger tracing a circle around the mold. She felt that movement deep, her stomach clenching.
She hadn't realized she was holding her breath until his commanding voice said "Breathe". Before she could think she breathe in and out in a huff . God why did she always listen to everything he said?
As she continued to breathe the circles seemed to be getting larger. Covering more area on her thigh. Was she dreaming? She must be because he reached to lift the skirt higher revealing more and more skin. This is exactly what dream Sa Eon would do. Only in her dreams, dreams buried deep down could this be happening.
He only stopped once her centre was exposed. The skin tone underwear was now clearly visible to him. She watched him as his eyes feasted on her. She saw him swallow and he murmured something that even her fine tuned ears did not pick up.
When he reached for her she came back to herself and grabbed his wrist. His eyes found hers. Searching. She must have been doing a terrible job of hiding how much this was affecting her because whatever he saw in her eyes had him smirking and then he leaned forward and captured her mouth.
She gasped into the kiss. Then it was a flash of tongues and breathe. Her mind was spiraling not able to keep up or put into perspective what was happening. Sa Eon kissed exactly how she expected him to. He directed and she was more than happy to follow his lead. One of his hands found her jaw and he maneuvered her head to deepen the kiss. Her hands found their way around his neck and into his already messy hair. This man was talented. He kissed her as though he was thirsty and she was the last drink of water on earth. He kissed her as though he had been wanting to do this for the last three years. He kissed her as though she was his.
When she broke the kiss, breathing heavy he simply shifted to her neck, her clavicle. The low vee of her shirt allowing him access. Her head fell back as she gave him more room.
Suddenly she felt his fingers on the outer edge of her panties. At the same moment his mouth was doing magical things to a particularly sensitive spot on her neck. She shifted on the table humming as his fingers made their way to her entrance.
"I haven't heard this much sound from you in a long time" he paused whatever he was doing to her neck to say. "Maybe I should have done this sooner".
His finger was now working circles around her clit. Rather than go back to kissing her neck his eyes found hers as she slowly began to lose herself to the sensations. They were having a conversation without words. When his finger entered her she gasped and closed her eyes.
"Look at me" he said. Her eyes fluttered open to find his lit and studying her. He began to move his finger in and out. She bit her lip and her head fell back.
"Look at me" he reiterated. And his commanding tone coupled with a second finger joining the first had her head snapping back up.
"You will watch."
Suddenly his fingers left her and in a swift move he grabbed the waistband of her panties and ripped. Then before she could recover from that his hands moved her thighs further apart and his mouth found her, his tongue hot on her most private place. She was so stunned she didn't have a moment to feel exposed. Then sensation began traveling through her body.
She was getting more and more wet as he continued. His tongue feasting on her sensitive clit then moving to her entrance. The more wet she got the more he lapped, groaning and tightening his grip on her waist. Her thighs began to tremble and with each lap of his tongue she fell a little further under his spell. When his tongue entered her, her hands gave out and she fell to her elbows. Her eyes almost closed until she remembered what he had said. When she looked down she found him watching her as his tongue continued to torture her. She couldn't believe this was happening. How had they got here? Watching her watch him seemed to do something to him, as his onslaught became more ferocious she could only hold on for the ride.
He knew everything about her. He made it his job. Nothing could put all his skills to better use than his wife. And maybe that is why finding out he may not know her like he thought he did these last few days was driving him crazy.
All he could think about was her safety. But more than anything he was angry. Angry that this stranger who had no right to had seen her. Taken her hostage! Had her photo to leer over! It made him feral.
All he had wanted to do after last night's events was set eyes on her. Make sure she was safe. But when he'd seen her all his plans flew out the window. Suddenly he needed to know, was she his Hee Joo?
Now with his head between her thighs, her hand fisting his hair and those breathy noices she was making (which were quickly becoming one of his favorite sounds) he knew she was.
He loved her taste and the more wet she got, the happier he was. He watched as her eyes glazed over as she gave in to everything he was giving her. She began to shift her hips now, unconsciously chasing her orgasm. What she didn't know is he would give her anything she wanted.
Now as he watched her, her eyes seemed to be begging him, a tiny furrow in her brows and he was more than willing to oblige. He shifted, his mouth again finding her clit while his fingers entered her again. He pulled, hard with his mouth and thrust his fingers at the same time. Her thighs tightened around his head. He sweeped his tongue from her clit to her entrance a satisfied groan low in his throat. That also seemed to have an effect on her. He picked up the pace his eyes finding her again. Not wanting to miss a moment of her pleasure. He felt and heard the moment she came. Her core quivered and released a rush of moisture. At the same time she gasped loudly and bucked her hips. He knew it was with difficulty that she kept her eyes trained on him. He could swear he saw them get two shades darker.
For several moments she didn't breathe, suspended in the pleasure her body was giving her. He continued his onslaught until she came down. The hand in his hair going slack and a rush of breath finally expended from her. She seemed to sag onto the table. As much as she could anyway as she tried to keep her eyes on him.
He kissed her one last time reverently. When he glanced up he could see the panic and confusion beginning on her face. Her hands went up to cover her face and she laid on the table.
He adjusted her skirt back down to cover her. "Get cleaned up" he said. Knowing if he even tried to talk about or explain this it would go in one ear and out the other.
"I'm going to take a shower; then I'll make you breakfast and we can talk".
She was shaking her head before he was finished. Her fingers shifting so she could peek through.
He left her like that, making his way to his room to shower. He knew she was even now probably trying to find a way to get out of speaking to him. But make no mistake, he had gotten a taste and he was far from satisfied.
#fanfic#fanfiction#when the phone rings#kdrama#hong hee joo#baek sa eon#smut#writing#chae soo bin#yoo yeon seok#netflix
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the urge to rewatch and think about stranger things the moment summer starts is something that cannot be avoided i fear, i finished my school year and it was instantly on my mind
#its a summer show#byler#stranger things#stranger things 5#the drought is getting to me#feel like pure shit just want my summer show back#but at the same time the thought of st5 coming out terrifies me#because it signifies the passage of time#and thats something i am not prepared for#stranger things 4#will byers#mike wheeler
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Just curious what the average level of personal investment in these sorts of things is. Like, how much do people usually get into silly stuff like this their friends ask of them? etc. etc. Which I know, only surveying a small sample on a very specific website means I'm not getting an exact average idea lol, but.. curious nonetheless .. Maybe reblog for bigger sample size but also this is not very serious at all/not worth a call to action gbhjbhjb
#which I know this could be context dependent like.. maybe you'd normally dress up but on a week that#you feel sick you wouldn't or etc. etc. - but I mean.. GENERALLY. in the most general average scenario#where you have the average amount of health and free time that you always do. etc. just based on your personality#and level of investment in these things - what on AVERAGE are you most inclined to do#also of course assume they communicate with you ahead of time and are not like planning a part last minute#like 'throw together costume in 5 hours and show up tonight randomly' or etc. I would hope that if we're going with the#AVERAGE of things - most people's friends have better communication skills than springing entire parties#on people last minute lol#assume you have like.. a few days-a week or so to prepare. however ealrly people usually start talking about#birthdays. In my experience it's usually one or two weeks ahead of time. Like 'oh next weekend' or 'oh two weeks from now' etc.#ANYWAY.. feeling a little Sick again of course but still trying to get some photos or something posted#AGAIN i promise I am not going to exlcusively post polls and ntohing else forever hgkjgnekj#I just really really love the ability to post polls and have always my whole life been obsessed with surveying people#I used to think I wanted to do that as a career somehow like.. be one of the people that does psychological interviews#or produce interview asessments for a company or etc. etc. I am always the one friend in the group thats giving out custom made#surveys or asking for other simialr stuff (did you ever take an mbti quiz? how about enneagra#m?? oh yeah I know they're not really scientifically valid or antyhing but like... DID you take them?? huh?? did you??please?? ghjj)#I simply cannot resist.. posting a little poll every once in a while.. as a treat#whilst I still fall behind on like actual content and costumes and stuff gbjhbjh#New poll adventure should be not as much of a wait as the last one was though since I already have the writing#for it really. I just have to do the ms paint sketch. hopefully no unexpected other health issues will get in the way#*** *** ***#< (anytime I do these three star patterns it is an ocd compulsion not me bleeping out words or something just ignore it lol)#(it means something secret in my evil brain just pretend you do not see it. significant only to me)#BUT YEAH.. ... poll... what type of costume party atendee are you?#:0c
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The weirdest thing about going to college for teaching in the united states is the giant CANYON of disconnect between what we're taught and what we actually do in a classroom.
like we're taught how to diversify methods of instruction in order to most equitably reach the diverse populations of our classrooms and inspire them to do their best writing/reading/speaking (im an English teaching major) but then in reality the students in your classroom are insanely below the level they need to be at in order to engage with age-appropriate lessons for them
we're taught how to take common core standards and transform them into meaningful and deep lessons but we're only given 45-90 mins of planning per day (if we're lucky) and the rest needs to be done outside of school or after hours if you can't do it quickly enough, and teachers are always expected to do research outside of the classroom, as well as collaboration, tweaking of lesson plans, etc.
we're told that students crave learning and they crave fun projects and they crave kinesthetic exercises, but then when I try those things in the classroom everyone complains and halfasses their participation, and im lucky if half of them actually pass something in, whether its an assignment, a test, a project, or an assessment.
we're told that we need to have open communication not only between teachers but between teachers and admin and parents, but then im lucky if one of the ten parents I email about their kid failing emails me back, and im luckier if admin takes a behaviorally disturbed student out of my class for insulting me or other students.
like... i guess my point is that teaching education is so idyllic and utopian, and actual classrooms are a goddamn nightmare of behavioral issues, lack of time/resources, exhausting interactions with students who don't want to be there or participate, and insane expectations from students, parents, and admin alike.
Like... no wonder the teaching field is hemorrhaging teachers right now. How can ANYONE work under the insane conditions we're forced to try and teach in. I'm so tired and I'm not even out of school yet. It's actually psychotic.
#education#teaching#english teaching#teaching issues#education issues#new hampshire education#ive had students verbally abuse me until ive had a breakdown#ive had dozens of students with a 10% or less for the semester#i had a student get arrested and he still got to graduate#somethings gotta give or nobody will want to teach anymore#this is actually insane the amount we're expected to do#im sick of reading the same 5 things in all my textbooks#like clearly this shit isn't actually preparing me for what its really like#this is for teaching like... the best of the best students#what about inner city kids??#cause thats where i live#and its a fucking nightmare#what am i supposed to do with my degree now honestly#im so tired#anyways#rant over
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I've decided that the only way I can get closure on all of the violent excitement I feel over Spies are Forever takes 2 simple steps
Step 1: Meet Curt Mega (and or Joey Richter)
Step 2: Violently shake his shoulders while failing to form coherent thoughts
Am I aware this will never happen? Yes. Yes I am, but listen I also didn't think I could draw all 55 saf characters and I did soooooo
#GNAWING AT THE BARS OF MY ENCLOSURE#I NEED TO BECOME AN ORB OF LIGHT TO PROPERLY EXPRESS MY FEELINGS ABOUT SAF AND ALL RELATED MEDIA#I AM LIMITED TO THIS MORTAL FLESH SUIT THAT THE DEITIES ABOVE PUT ME IN AND ITS INCAPABILITIES ARE INFURIATING#I APOLOGIZE FOR THE PERSON I WILL BECOME WHEN I GET MY GRUBBY LITTLE FINGERS ON A DIGITAL TICKET OF SPY ANOTHER DAY#THEY HAVE BEEN ROTATING IN MY HEAD FOR MONTHS NOW#Listen maybe if i manifest hard enough my 2 step program will become possible#Eds 2 Step Program#i am experiencing violent excitement#thats the best way to explain it#its excitement but its violent#im not just pumped i need to hit something#its autism awareness month so be prepared TO BE AWARE OF ME BRO#saf#spies are forever#spy another day
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..
#nothing makes me truly reaffirm my commitment to being poly like the day after a rugby match#i love my bf. i love them wholly and truly for who they are. i dont want them to change outside of healing. y'know that being the best you.#but i dont want them to be someone else. so the fact theyre not a coddling caregiver isnt something I'm ever going to change in them.#they bring me coffee and check in on me and set reminders for my meds and tell me when they have to leave for errands with mum#but they always have to see to other responsibilities because they are that person.#and I love them for that. i love them for being a dutiful son and a pragmatic foreman who prepares for the week.#what does this have to do with polyam james you may ask? well ill tell you-#im learning as i have been for a while now#that as i am a chief caregiver for many ppl in my life including bf and now the ruggers (im a board member)#i deeply deeply DEEPLY want/need care when im in crisis or at a low point and theres no low point quite like post match#when your systems are coming down from adrenaline and everything fuckin hurts like hell and whats worse you're injured#im not good at being taken care of i acknowledge that. but to be coddled and handled with care rn?#have someone to sit with me and make me food and eat with me and help me stay tethered and hold me a bit and smoke with me#idk not even in a sex sense just to be held and cared for#thats why poly am is a thing for me. i love my partners and I dont want to change them i dont want to force all this on them#certain needs can be met by certain ppl in certain ways etc but love is love it is always love its just shown differently#as i was writing this bf called to say he was bringing home nonalc beer for me. i know he loves me. i know he cares. it's just different.#tbd im so very tired and achy and weepy today dont mind me#the match was great for the squad but im not thrilled with myself#hence wanting to curl up in a hole and not come out
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i think its so inevitable for the team to take up a 100 yr quest at SOME point in time so i might keep the idea that they're doing it, but i won't involve the story & plotlines in the current series. do u get me.
#ooc.#i kinda had this idea already. like. i just assumed everyone knew what i meant tho and#thats not the case so here i am saying it now.#this is obviously not going to be a BIG thing on the blog unless the thread itself is..#taking place during this unlabeled timeframe and/or involves the quest itself.#this also is me rlly wanting to incorporate a fight / anything that happens during that time that results in erza losing her hair bc i need#i NEED that like. yesterday.#also i think she'd look so cute w/ a lil bob...my wife.#me looking @ girls w/ short red hair on pinterest and inserting erza in my head#clutches heart.. she'd look so cute & itd mean so much#in case anyone was wondering tho no she wouldn't keep it.#as in she'd grow it out to the previous length#know that like 75% of the reason im pushing this is bc of the jerza interactions thank you.#im nothing if not predictable#also small hc that erza would be 100% down 4 a 100yr but shes concerned w/ leaving the guild for#such long period u know. so she has her moment of holding it off bc of that but obvi its resolved#just thinking of the time preparing 4 it ykno...my little babies#erza going to snatch s-class quests is something i miss too. i think it happened literally once but still
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> You are encased in the cement that is those you love who love you.
> It protects you. Makes you beautiful. It will immortalize you.
> Your legs are restless.
> You're going to have to move, sooner or later.
> The sun will blind you, at first. The wind will feel like razors against your skin for a time.
> Do you think it'll be worth it?
> Who would choose to become human, over art?
> There will be times where your once graceful shoulders will hunch in pain. Your formerly serene face crumpled in ugly anger.
> You will be so scared to turn around and see the wreckage. Chunks of cement and dust are all that will be left of the statue you used to be.
> Aren't you scared?
#whoah personal#poetry#i guess but also oh god this sucks#idk. im just thinking about who i want to be#and how that'll mean taking a sledgehammer to the person i used to be#and I'm scared that whatever is left after that destruction won't be worth it#that I'll be so much smaller and more twisted than I was before#and I'm also scared that the people who lean on me as i am now will topple and break if i change#what if i look too different underneath. what if it hurts them. what if they leave#destroying a person who based thenself off of the love others gave them is gonna mean rejecting the love i took#all for what? to become something else? to change in ways I can't prepare for yet?#or what if the people who love me are hurt in the aftermath?#i love them too. it's just im always scared that love isn't enough on its own#i cant just be someone who loves them. i need to be someone they love too. someone they need#god who even am i#i dont know who i would choose to be if i ran away tomorrow#thats why i wrote this. i want to run away and start it all from scratch#but im scared to run away. i know itll hurt. would it be good or bad?#this poem is inaccurate because it paints their love as smothering. its not. i smother myself and i dont know why#but its warm and nice and safe#this is also sort of about being trans but thats like. not even half of what this crisis is about#its not enough to just be a daughter. you cant just be a daughter or an older sister or a friend your whole life.#that cant be all of who and what you are. you have to be you above all else and thats fucking terrifying#idk. anyways iput sparkly license plate covers on my work vans 2 months ago and if my bosses find out I'll get yelled at#so i'm going to go take those off now. bye
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OKAY THIS IS ONE DAY LATE BUT I FELL BEHIND ON MY SCHEDULE OKAY SO JUST. DROPS THIS HERE
HAPPY LATE PRIDE?
#spooky arts#oc x canon#hollow knight ocs#hk ocs#faaf au#im probably also gonna draw something for disability pride month too just gotta figure out what. prepare for it to be late too because if#theres something consistent about me its that i am late with everything ever LMAO#thats the new polyam flag on that theyre holding btw. it just. doesnt show well#pan shirt for lummis#genderfluid scrunchie and abrosexual and obmnisexual makeup for petunia#and demi-acearo pin and genderqueer bow for flower :]#token cis lummis#aLSO AS I AM TYPING IT I CAME UP WITH THE ART IDEA FOR DISABILITY PRIDE MONTH LETS GO
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im genuinely going to be INSUFFERABLE when chapters 3 and 4 come out like you have no idea.
#i cannot BELIEVE i've had the life-threatening deltarune illness for nearly 3 YEARS at this point. thats fucking insane#anyways im literally never gonna shut up about it. you have no idea. and *I* have no idea honestly. this will be the first time im#playing new deltarune content with ALLLLLLLL of this shit in mind. i played chp 2 as someone who was obsessed w chp 1 in middle school#on a very surface level. and ofc we had so much less then that the theory landscape was COMPLETELY different so even if i had#been aware of that side of things as a kid it wouldnt have made much of a difference probably. but these chapters will be an#ENTIRELY different experience that i am in NO way prepared for. like ive NEVER been invested in something like i am in deltarune#and ive never been SO deep in a theory community like i am in deltarune's. but that only rlly happened after chp 2#the sweepstakes was like a little taste of whats to come. but 3&4 will be a whole new experience that might genuinely kill me i think#im gonna take 80 years to get through them and even then im still gonna miss a billion things on my playthrough#me playing chp 2 like WAHHHH DELTARUNE THIS IS SO FUN vs me playing the new chapters completely locked in eyes 1 inch from the screen#scrutinizing every single pixel and reading into every word of dialogue for 30 minutes per line#im very scared about how my decision making's gonna go though. cuz these will be the first chapters where im playing them aware of#the player-kris distinction. before i could just chill and choose whatever i want but now i fear im just gonna get stunlocked#for sure im going to spend hours agonizing over which thing to choose trying to determine what i think kris would do. even tho#it probably doesnt matter. anyways i need to stop escaping to tumblr and finish this lets play#im doing the thing where i get too insane over the hyperfixation and have to stop interacting with it bcuz im going too crazy#serena.txt
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I've come to the conclusion that when it comes to new characters I have the same attitude as a poorly socialized dog. I swear every time new content comes around and we get the news of new characters my instant reaction is to just. Dislike them. Hope they have little to no importance in the plot. Even when the design looks nice and the characters seem interesting. They're taking screen time away from my faves and my heart tells me to Bite
#this isnt even about the Thing. Its about Astrid#that cool and interesting looking old lady#(im assuming thats her name its what ive seen people use)#Im pretty sure there's something ot be said about my autism here#i dont want things to change. I dont want to risk the show taking a turn for the worse and becoming Insane#if it were up to me#s2 would have just been a reprise of s2 while focusing on different things#and s3 would be a reprise of s2#which means ofc that the show wouldn't be nearly as compelling as it is. that' why i trust the writers#but at the same time I HAAAAAATE CHANGE#I think the longer hiatuses contribute to this. I am given time to adjust to what can be considered canon and then BOOM#rug pulled from under me with only like 2 months of antecedence.#and I have to be prepared to let go of my headcanons and my current views of this world and its characters#and to accept that these new faces they're throwing at us will be just as important as the ones I already know and love#like I WANT to be spoiler free but at the same time I gotta prepare myself for what's coming#bc otherwise I'm gonna get the air knoked out of me fr#cons of letting a show take over 60% of your brain#turns to the other 40%: at least I've got you. you'll never change or abandon me#*the Cells look at me uninpressed and tell me to get a job*#hilda the series#hilda s3
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this will either end in like happily ever after marriage or the worst soul crushing devastating heartbreak of my entire life and I'm not prepared
#barks#when is anyone ever prepared for that tho#if we ended things now it might mitigate Some pain#but id always wonder what if and probably even go back to him in the future to see if we did have something#if we go for it and it ends later#i will literally be so crushed#and i cant let him know that bc thats what hes afraid of#hurting me#there is so much i am not telling him bc i dont want to scare him away#this can rly only go 1 of 2 ways#either we will die together or break up at some point#thats how relationships work#and idk how great our odds are#given the state of the world#given our backgrounds#i want to try :(#but that means accepting the soul crushing devastating heartbreak as a potential future#sorry future me#i gotta go for it
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and when I get out of this FUCKING HOUSE
#rambles#literally ignore me I’m venting#bought some clothes online right#something I don’t normally do so spooky scary new things that freak out the tism#have to return a couple items okay#I miss one thing in the return package that I only realised after I give it to the post office#(I resolved it via customer service so it’s literally fine and not a big deal)#tell my mum I forgot the thing and she IMMEDIATELY loses it at me because I don’t want to walk all the way back to the fucking post office#like at this point I’m still anxious because I think I did something wrong#not knowing it could be resolved dead easy#so my mum literally yelling at me is not making me feel better and actively setting off my pissed-off defence mechanism#so last thing I do is call her a bitch and she actually screams at me#like should I have called her that? no#but has this woman ever apologised to me in my LIFE? also no#so I’m gonna be petty and stubborn and leave her to be pissed off cause she upset me first#honestly was fully expecting her to smack me in the moment or not make me dinner. I was fully prepared for that. but thats beside the point#anyway dad gets home. literally tries to make me talk to him in the kitchen and when I don’t want to he shouts at me#literally just not in the mood to deal with more conversation tonight and I told him that and he was like ‘okay paint yourself the victim’#like????? THATS NOT WHAT IM DOING FUCKWAD I JUST AM NOT IN THE HEADSPACE TO TALK RIGHT NOW#like I’m not gonna pretend I’m the bigger person in this situation or didn’t do anything wrong#but they’re fucking unreasonable people whenever I do ANYTHING wrong#like bro I don’t know how to sincerely apologise to people because I never EVER heard the word sorry out of their mouths#so they can fucking live with what they created tbh#congratulations your daughter’s a shit person and now you have to cope with it#honestly get me out of this fucking house the temptation to just walk out is only battled by the fact I’d have no where to go rn#vent post#don’t reblog ty#vent over sos y’all had to see that <3
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Sad ough today because my bf broke up with bc he didn't like how I acted in the relationship [though all I did was call him love and text him a lot]
ough yea thats rough, i hope you feel better soon
#spoon responds#woah haha i am not prepared to talk about breakups#or relationships#being aroace thats kinda my job#the best i can do is make you a little drawing#if it would help i can make a little mumbo or a creecher or something#but yea im not good with this sorta stuff :3#but i do hope it does get better for you :]
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YIPPEEEEEEEEEEEEEE PRICELESS IS SO GOOD RIGHT... LOVE THE ENDING FOR THAT... and very much anticipating First Penguin's... which I am DETERMINED to continued today... I feel bad for falling behind because I ended up binging a whole anime yesterday since the secondary protagonist was based on Tsutsumi and lost track of Fucking Everything 😭😭😭he is so cute though😚
OH BUT YEAH I played DQXI's demo [the first ten hours of the game or so]... yeaaahhhh... definitely that kind of game for me too... but I hope whenever you get back to it you have a good time! I may not know a thing about Metroid but I am also happy to hear it was an enjoyable experience overall :] I enjoy the tag rambles very much :]
REGARDLESS... EPIC... I HOPE YOU ENJOY SP... OR AT THE VERY LEAST I HOPE YOU CAN STICK WITH IT UNTIL IT BECOMES ENJOYABLE...
AND YOU'RE JUST NOT GOING TO DROP THE TITLE so mean telling me about all these interesting things to watch and not sharin the title (;´༎ຶД༎ຶ`)
TEN HOURS FOR THE DEMO ??? long as hell demo... OH BUT NO i love the games a lot !! ive followed the series for a while since. i do have that dragon ball/toriyama fanatic in me unfortunately even if i dont like toriyama himself ☠️☠️ i only really got to actually start one of the games last year when my bro got DQXI for me and ive been loving it so far (* ̄▽ ̄*)ミ|Ю
i've BEEN enjoying it so far !! i'm just about to start episode four tho i AM gonna lose my mind if this hospital arc goes on one more episode bro this half the series already ☠️
#snap chats#joking of course.... haha unless--#if this is the chara you mean then he seems like a nice fellow :) i trust his vibes already..... he seems like a chara i'd like...#OH BUT PRICELESS WAS SOOOO GOOD AND SO LOVELY TYSM AGAIN FOR RECCING IT... i hope you enjoy the rest of first penguin !!!!!#NO WORRIES BOUT RUSHIN IT fair nuff theres no deadline !!!! id rather you take your time and enjoy it on your own terms anyhow :)#but SPEEEAAKING of DQ im actually playing it rn LMAO. i only stopped last year cause i just had an awful exp with a boss#and then i got busy with Life but itd been bothering me that i just stopped so i finally decide to get back into it#the boss wasnt even that hard this time around... tho i think thats just cause i went in Prepared this time ☠️#i dont remember why my bro got me DQXI.. i think he was just using some gamestop deal he had and got himself something too..#NOOO UGH i dont know if its in the demo but the boss was arachtagon and he's who i thought of while making that ichi and masato comic LMAO#of course i couldnt reference that fight since.... that wasnt the DQ game of the time... but still we get the point i think...#nono i love dragon quest and playing it's something i'm happy i finally get to do#it definitely requires you to think a lot more and be more careful with what you do#i mean itd PRRROOBBBABLY be easier if i did sidequests but i have a terrible tendency to wanna finish the game first...#in any case. i am playing it while watching SP because i was thinking of the next part of the game and was stuck on it#and when i looked up where to go i was like 'no i already checked that spot' and i was just gonna leave it at that but now i cant stop#but i ALSO really wanted to watch SP today but fortunately i can multitask#not like i need to pay a LOT of attention to dq rn.. im just grinding. cause im broke ☠️#oh but im glad you enjoy the tag rambles :) i have too many thoughts for my own good#like how when i was at the game store i saw DQ treasures AND metroid dread AND the megaman battlenetwork collection..#i was fighting real demons that day not to empty my wallet....#luckily my bro was with me so i felt like him being there was a way to keep me in check. even if he prob wouldnt have opposed ( ̄▽ ̄;;)#IN ANY CASE. i have multiple medias to consume lest i let The Thoughts take over my brain again for even a second ٩(๑❛ᴗ❛๑)۶#inoue's chara is so funny like He's Super Human um doc... i think he's just autistic lowkey..... he still a baller regardless tho
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#hhhh my body is tired. i couldnt sleep and then my day was upside down and i spent 4hrs transfering algae#i still have 1 work day until i go home. which is to say i will do 2 days of computer work and 1 day of manual labor in the field before i#go home. bc i have to get these fucking manuscripts done#but i guess it was an ok day. it wasnt yesterday where i left the lab by 12 for fear of bursting into tears. sometimes i just cant stand to#work sitting down. its really annoying#but i did have to say goodbye to our visiting phd student today bc she goes back to spain in the new year#which is sad bc shes really cool but she liked to do snail mail so im excited to be pen pals with her#bc ive never done the snail mail thing. shes like 5 to 10 years older than me? like old enough to have fully formed memories of the 90s#hhhh i still have to order Christmas presents. i just. i wish i could stop the present exchange. no body buy me anything so i dont have to#buy u anything. im so tired.#and i still have to make Christmas presents for my parents and sisters. with what time?#ill have to burn away my vacation time for that. hhhh i shoulf just sleep now#but i wont. ill pack bc i might as well while im being unproductive and i wont make time for it later so ya kno#i just wanna be home not doing anything but also i have many things to do and lots of things to prepare before i can do school visits#assuming i get more than one. and oh fuck thats right i still have that last application. tomorrow morning thsts what ill do. god dammit#the 4 hrs of algae transfering was my break and me being unfocused now#just 3 more days and 2 full day of traveling then i can whine at my parents abt how sad i am lol nah ill do that thing where u go#haha yea im in a lot of pain lmao so no one fully takes u seriously even tho ur saying something fucked up#that my mo bc i cant take my pain seriously. part of my brain detaches itself and thinks its all v funny#bleh. brain is goo#unrelated
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