#and that's only i know about capitalism
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I work for a CEO that doesn't know how to change the desktop photo
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FNAF Michael refuses to be gaslit on “THE BITE OF 83”
#myart#chloesimagination#comic#fnaf#five nights at freddy's#michael afton#vanessa fnaf#fnaf vanny#fredbear#fnaf 4#security breach#fazbear entertainment#fnaf fanart#literally like what is fazbear entertainments damage BAHA#IDK if you guys know this#In the pizzaplex era the in universe cover up for the bite of 83#is literally Fredbear eating burgers#it’s on arcade cabinets and even irl merch#they’ve just made Fredbear a ‘hungry’ guy#which is so crazy what a way to spin Michael’s most traumatic moment#Michael here was just joking around he didn’t expect a legit answer back#Vanessa feels bad too she knows this is in poor taste..#honestly no joke I think ‘Fazbear entertainment’ is like#one of my favourite parts of the new fnaf era#you learn sm about them in subtle ways what lengths they’ll take for a quick buck#truly their only evil is their capitalism it’s great#sorry to Michael Afton again though they love to profit off your misery
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Dyslexia and Dysgraphia with Balloon
after having done Hopefully enough research, i would like to propose that balloon has phonological dyslexia (the common type of dyslexia) and linguistic dysgraphia. this isn’t very long, just an explanation of a headcanon i enjoy :) also i use she/her for balloon in this but pronouns are irrelevant to these diagnoses, i just prefer to refer to balloon this way.
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so let’s start with a Classic. multiple times in the series, balloon misinterprets “flour” to mean “flower”. she is struggling to decode the word “flour” and differentiate it from “flower”, leaning on the phonetic pronunciation that seems more logical to her. this is an issue with homophone confusion rather than difficulty spelling an irregular word, which is why i chose phonological dyslexia to explain this (i considered surface dyslexia for a while). i also disregarded audio processing disorder because there is more evidence to balloon struggling to read and write than there is to her struggling to process spoken words, meaning that the mix-up here can be explained with phonological dyslexia.
there are more examples of her having trouble with forming words based on their sounds. this problem follows her into the way she writes. her graffiti in breaking the ice is a great example of her words being spelled incorrectly and very literally. “dident” has an e added to it to replicate the pronunciation, and “doo” and “stoopid” are both misspellings of familiar words.
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for this, i chose linguistic dysgraphia (aka dyslexic dysgraphia, but i find the term “linguistic” easier to use). as you can see here, she has bouts of random capitalisation such as the D at the end of “stoopid” (also an example of problems with consistent letter sizing) and the way her sentence becomes all caps after writing her name (“BallooN DIDENT DOO THIS”). her handwriting is poor and her sentence is disorganized, with strange margins at the beginning of her line breaks. i decided on linguistic dysgraphia rather than spatial or motor dysgraphia for the fact that her handwriting and letter sizing improves significantly when she’s focusing, and that she has no trouble drawing. observe underneath.
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this page is a great example of improved but still impaired writing. her handwriting is easier to read, but a lot of this is still written in all caps (a strategy sometimes used by dysgraphics who have trouble with lowercase letters or the varied sizing of capitals). the letter sizing changes noticeably from sentence to sentence (“HEY OJ!~” is a lot larger than the words surrounding it) but it doesn’t change much within the same words anymore, such as in her graffiti. the organisation of words on the page, however, is quite messy. she leaves large chunks of space in random areas and writes different sentences all over the page. this indicates difficulty planning written language, common with linguistic dysgraphia. as mentioned earlier, she has no significant trouble drawing, which we can observe with these doodles. overall, this is much better and shows that she was focusing on this page, but there are still issues with writing that we can infer.
thanks for reading 🫶 this required a Lot more research than i expected but i had fun
#balloon ii#ii balloon#inanimate insanity#osc#balloon inanimate insanity#juice.txt#juice ramble#THIS TORTURED ME#ok only a little bit#but i went through sooo many variations of diagnoses for her before landing on phonological dyslexia and linguistic dysgraphia#also read about autistic people's tendencies to capitalize and add punctuation 'randomly' and i was like heyyy i do that ehehe#im not sure what the exact pattern is of that#its not random i know that but i couldnt. tell you what the criteria is#i try to forgo it in essays like these though#i only capitalized unusually Twice in this essay cause i felt like it was necessary for those words (and in this tag ig)
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isekai into genshin but the isekai’d person is a communist who gets into philosophical debates with zhongli and screams at him for creating the root of all evil: capitalism. and then they make out.
#okay don’t yell at me i literally know nothing about communism and the economy#i only know one thing: capitalism is the root of all evil#genshin impact#zhongli#genshin x reader#genshin impact x reader#zhongli x reader
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I feel like if I saw Shaxx wearing a "the man, the myth, the legend" apron and flipping burgers on a Foreman grill in somebody's backyard, I wouldn't even be surprised
#please tell me I'm not yhe only one#destiny 2#destiny the game#destiny shaxx#shaxx#lord shaxx#it's 4:30 am and I hear birds outside and my head aches#so I'm laying here thinking about D2 NPCs#I know I'm tired as hell because I just tried to capitalize a number#THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS AN UPPERCASE NUMBER 2
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not used to this kind of mascot
#art#traditional art#watercolour#fanart#vocal synth#synthv#synthesizer v#asterian#koharu rikka#genbu#voicevox#kurono takehiro#zundamon#and a tiny tiny solaria and saros mention LOL#i think this is loosely inspired by the memory of some vine or tiktok i saw where a guy goes into a bathroom at a buddys house#and their dog is in there just staring at him. while hereditary music is playing. you know the one#the eclipsed sounds celestial polycule are interesting as a unique design style because like#rather than a full anime mascot or an abstract design boxart (the more common styles nowadays) theyre in a middle ground#with full mascot designs that translate to fanart pretty well that can appeal to the capital v vsynth community#while also not being too anime to scare off north american music industry people LOL pretty interesting needle they threaded there#all that to say i think it would be funny if they werent used to doujin ass open source software bullshit like miss zunda of mon#theyve only ever been in synthv the weirdest they know is like. frimomen <3 he probably thought his squads celestial deity thing was#already out there enough.... he doesnt know.... he doesnt know about the zunda arrow#god i watched zunda horizon recently. the little half hour animated special they did for zunko and her crowd#it was so cute and funny. these girls fought wars over beans. people were dying.
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"Do you know where we are going next?" I asked ART.
Y'know what, I think maybe I don't need any more Murderbot books. I think maybe ending things here is fucking perfect and as much as I love Wells's writing I'm genuinely not sure it can get better for me.
Like, so much of the books are about MB learning how to be a person, about becoming okay with being a complete individual with everything it entails. The first thing it does once it's actually allowed to decide on its own is it runs away from it all (admittedly to go on a mission to confirm some things about its past, because it genuinely just wants to be *good*). It shoves all its emotions away as much as it's able to. Then shit happens, and it makes its first friends, makes decisions based on these friendships, goes through a lot of emotionally intense situations...
And we get to this point here. MB having zero doubts about going with ART says a lot about its relationship with ART, but it also says a lot about its relationship with its humans - it knows that wherever it goes, when it comes back, the humans will still be there. Its humans actively acknowledge its struggles with being a now-free SecUnit and MB is willing to entertain the discussions to an extent and share information about its deeply personal experiences. Hell, System Collapse ends with MB admitting it might be somewhat broken, but that's okay as long as it can keep doing its job, and agreeing to basically do counselling - this is the guy what would rewatch its favourite TV show again and again in order to avoid acknowledging it even had Emotions a couple books back.
Reading this, I know that MB will be okay. It has hopes and goals and genuinely believes in itself and it has an amazing support system that its willing to lean on for the first time in its life. I'm convinced it'll go on to do great things with ART. And that's really the only thing I need to know.
#Murderbot#murderbot diaries#tmbd#system collapse#Herr's personal tag#Also like. System collapse dives deep into MB's feelings about its life as secunit prior to the events of all systems red#I find this conversation from when they were discussing what would happen if the BE folks got to the colonists first /very/ telling#MB going on about how life as a corporate slave is absolute fucking hell#ART drone saying that they can't just kill people because the alternative is worse than death#ART: would it have been kinder to kill you before you'd disabled your governor module?#MB with zero fucking hesitation: /yes/#(followed by my favourite ART line ever. “You know I am not kind.”)#Like. MB would not have always admitted that it had hated its life as a secunit this openly#Saying it was shit is one thing saying I would rather be dead than think of me or anyone else going through this again is a very different#And here it has zero issues stating that. At least when talking to ART#And then later on it goes on to offer its actual memories for a publicly screened documentary#Because it knows it's the only way to make people see. The only way to save then from the same (ish) fate#And it's willing to do whatever it takes to save these people it's never even met before from what it views as fate worse than death#Including opening up and acknowledging its past experiences and past/current feelings#And I'm just like. Man I couldn't be more proud of you if I tried.#You go MB. Holy fuck I wish I could do what you've done. You might just be the person to defeat this evil capitalism my dude
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The Fall of an Alpha (ch. 2)
aka: Put Your Ear Up to My Wall, Mistake My Heart for A Drumbeat
David fights to keep everything quiet, Asher takes on a new role, and Milo finds Tank (for better or worse).
Ch. 1 // ao3 // 4.6k words
(TW: death, car accident, grief, implied/referenced self-harm, vomiting, gore/blood, violence)
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Sept 3. 2017, 11:52 pm
buzz buzz buzz…buzz buzz buzz…
David’s phone started vibrating as soon as he pulled away from the morgue. He’d placed it in his backseat—a habit Gabe had instilled in him years ago so he’d never be tempted to text and drive.
He ignored the buzzing, willing the rain battering against his car to drown out the sound. It worked; his phone eventually went silent, and David’s full attention was brought back to the barely visible road he was traversing.
buzz buzz buzz…buzz buzz buzz…
Another call. He contemplated pulling over, but Gabe’s voice hummed in his head: Patience. Not everything needs an answer right away. He decided against it. Whoever was calling would realize he wasn’t available and leave a message.
The call ended.
buzz buzz buzz…buzz buzz buzz…
It started again. And again. And again. And again. As soon as a call ended, another began. He could feel them in his skull, like the buzzing was coming from his brain. Like his head was a freshly shaken wasp nest.
The wasps traveled down into his gut, twisting and tightening his intestines. They kept traveling, moving to his extremities. His hands went numb. Then his feet. He couldn’t feel the steering wheel. Or the gas pedal. Or the brakes. His vision began to tunnel.
No. He didn’t have time for this. He had a job to do. He needed to focus. He needed to get back to his apartment safely. He needed to get the key. He needed to go to his dad’s house. He needed to get into his study. He needed to throw up.
David found himself pulled off on the side of the road, doubled over in the rain, emptying his stomach into a bush. How embarrassing, throwing up like a little kid. That’s enough, he thought to himself, get it together. He stood up straight, but the movement was too quick and he found himself doubled over again.
Everything in him burned as it came up. It stung.
Retreating back to his car, David quickly checked his phone. Missed calls, voice messages, and texts from various pack members flooded his screen. Someone must have found out what happened. None of them seemed urgent—nor from Asher or Milo—so he put his phone on ‘do not disturb’ and returned it to its place in the back seat.
When he sat down behind the wheel, the wasps were gone. David started the car again and continued back home.
————————————————
Asher cradled his phone, rocking gently in an effort to appease his bawling body. He told himself he had until Milo texted with an update. Then he would pull himself together. His abdomen ached as wave after wave of mourning slammed into him.
He mourned for Gabe. The officer had said he’d died at the scene, but had it been instant? Had he suffered? Did he know he was dying? Did he try to move his legs only to realize he was paralyzed from the waist down? The neck down? Did he frantically gasp for breath as his lungs slowly, agonizingly filled with blood? Had he tried desperately to pry his arm from where it was pinned to reach his phone and call his son just one more time?
He mourned for his pack. Gabe was the founder. They’d never been without him. Would they survive? Would they break into dissension? Crumble apart without leadership? Asher had heard of the devastation past packs had gone through following the death of an alpha or a founder. Gabe had been both. And the pack didn’t even know he was gone. David had said he’d tell them tomorrow at the meeting, but was that the best way?
He mourned for David. David, whose family was already so small. Who already struggled to feel and show his emotions. Asher had seen the initial impacts of this loss. Cold. Detached. Devoid. Would David recover? Was this a wound he could ever heal from? Was he in pain? Asher assumed so, but if David was, he hadn’t shown it. Was he putting on a front, a wall he wouldn’t let anyone see behind? Or was he numb? Was that worrying David? Did he feel guilty he wasn’t feeling anything for his dad’s dea—
buzz buzz
Asher jumped at the vibration in his hands. He rose from the floor and stumbled over to the couch, wiping his face with his shirt. Milo had texted:
At Tank’s place, door was left open
Asher’s stomach dropped. His fingers were a messy flurry as he texted back:
shit
txt updts
or call
davids not bakc
He waited for a reply.
————————————————
Milo pulled into the parking lot of Tank’s apartment complex. He’d past the site of Gabe’s crash on the way, scanning for a glimpse of Tank or their bike. Thankfully, he’d found neither.
But he saw Gabe’s car, and that alone almost sent him into a spiral. No wonder Tank had sounded so wrecked; the driver’s side had crumpled like paper.
As he raced through the parking lot, Milo caught a glimpse of Tank’s motorcycle parked in a large puddle to his right. He’d been right; they’d come back here. Thank god.
Once at the entrance to Tank’s building, he pressed the buzzer for their door and waited. Nothing. He pressed it again. When he was met with the same result, he started pressing every button, hoping someone would let him in. Eventually the door unlocked, and he pushed through.
Milo bounded up the stairwell to Tank’s apartment, slipping and catching himself several times on the rain-slick steps. His throat tightened when he turned a corner and spotted their door at the end of the hall, slightly ajar.
As he walked towards it, he texted Asher:
At Tank’s place, door was left open
After a few moments, his phone buzzed with a series of replies:
shit
txt updts
or call
davids not bakc
When he reached their door, Milo pushed it open further and crept into the apartment. The curtains were all drawn and the lights were off, but Milo could slightly make out a series of objects on the floor. He felt around for a switch and flicked on a light.
All the cupboards and drawers in the kitchen were open and empty, silverware and broken dishes littering the floor of Tank’s tiny studio. Milo could practically track Tank’s movements, following the dents along the wall where they had hurled each cup and plate and fork and knife.
Then his eyes landed on blood—a piece of broken glass on the floor, glistening crimson along its sharp edge. Milo trailed the fat red drops to the closed bathroom door. The sight and faint smell of Tank’s blood made his head spin.
“Tank?” he called out.
A smear of blood glinted on the door handle. He gave two soft knocks. “Tank, please,” he tried again, “I know you’re in there.”
A wretched voice answered from the other side of the door, “Go away.”
He ignored them and tried the handle, grimacing at the slick feeling of fresh blood on his hand. Luckily, they’d left it unlocked.
Pushing the door open, Milo peered inside the dark bathroom. Tank was a huddled mass in the corner of their shower, head buried in their arms.
“I said go away, Miles!” they shouted, raising their head just enough to glare at him over their arms, eyes glinting with fury.
Milo flinched but didn’t leave. Crouching down, he spoke in as calm of a tone as he could muster, “Where’re you hurt, Tank?”
“Get. Out.”
“I’m not gonna do that,” Milo replied, “Can I turn on the light?”
“No,” they snapped.
“Okay." Milo took out his phone and turned on his flashlight instead. He tried to ignore the trail of blood leading to Tank as he opened up their mirror cabinet, then the one under their sink.
“What’re you doing?”
“Looking for your first aid kit.”
“I don’t have a first aid kit,” they sneered.
Milo shined his light at Tank, who shrunk against it, burying their head again in their arms. They were soaking wet from the rain and shaking terribly. He cast the light away from them.
“Just leave!” they moaned.
“No. You’re injured, and since you have nothing to treat it with, I’m taking you back to Ash and David’s,” he retorted.
A snarl gurgled up from deep in Tank’s chest as Milo approached.
“You can growl at me all you want, I don’t give a damn.”
The snarl grew louder the closer he got. But once he kneeled down in front of them, it began to change, breaking up and losing its bite.
“I know,” he whispered, tears welling in his eyes as Tank began to cry, “I know, Tank.”
He placed a tentative hand on their arm. They trembled under his touch, but didn’t pull away.
“Just come with me, please. You don’t have to talk about it. You can be as angry as you want. I don’t care. I just want to make sure you’re safe,” Milo said as he set his phone down, flashlight to the floor.
“I-I am,” they lied, their sobs warping their words.
“You’re bleeding from somewhere, I saw the blood in the kitchen and in here. So no, you’re not,” Milo countered.
“…it’s n-n-not b-bad,” Tank lied again.
“Can I see?”
Tank hesitated, then raised their head. Milo couldn’t make much out. He flipped his phone around, so the light pointed up at the ceiling.
He choked down a gasp at the sight of Tank’s face. The gash just under their left eye was deep, blood still pumping out slowly, drenching their cheek and dripping down their neck. It was in their hair, on their clothes, on their hands.
“Not that bad, my ass,” Milo muttered, “Tank, this needs a healer.”
“No. No healers,” they choked out, tears leaving trails in their blood.
Milo knew accepting any sort of medical help was difficult for Tank. They never talked about it, but he assumed there was some sort of trauma or pride or fear stopping them. He was trying to be understanding, he really was, but it was all too much. It was late, he was spent, Tank was bleeding, and Gabe was dead.
“Fine,” Milo spat, “You either go back to Ash and David’s and let me sew it up, cause it’s going to need stitches, or I stay here and call a damn healer. Your fucking choice.”
That shut them up. Their sobs subsided and they glared with all the fury left in their trembling body before muttering, “Okay. I’ll go with you.”
————————————————
At the sound of the front door opening, Asher sprang up and raced to the hall. "Tank?"
David stood in the doorway, rainwater dripping like tears from his lashes. He looked as stoic as before, but now a sickly tinge covered his features.
"David," Asher breathed, "Was it...was it him?"
"Yes," he muttered, walking inside and shutting the door, "What happened?"
"What d'you mean?"
"You thought I was Tank." David stopped in front of him.
"I just uh...hoped..."
“What happened?” David repeated, his voice low and tense. He didn’t have the time nor energy for hesitation. His stare bored into Asher, demanding an answer.
"T-Tank saw Gabe's car," Asher spluttered. David's eyes widened. "They called Milo when they saw it. He had to tell them what happened, he—we couldn’t lie to them. Milo went to their place. He texted me when he got there but he hasn’t updated since.”
Of course. Of course they couldn’t have just waited to tell anyone until David got back. Or until tomorrow, like he told them. David pulled out his phone, turning off ‘do not disturb’. There were more missed calls and texts, but none from Milo or Tank. He pulled up Milo’s contact and called him.
“Hello?” Milo’s voice oozed with trepidation.
David’s was dry and sharp. “Is Tank ok?”
“…yes. We’re heading to my car now, we’ll meet you back at your place.”
“Are they hurt?”
buzz buzz buzz…buzz buzz buzz…
David started getting another call. He ignored it.
“Um…” David could tell Milo was choosing his words carefully, but for David’s sake or Tank’s he didn’t know. “Yes, but it’ll be ok.”
David gripped his phone tighter, but kept his rising worry out of his tone. He needed to stay level, anything less would just be detrimental to everyone’s safety.
buzz buzz buzz…buzz buzz buzz…
“Take them to a healer.”
David heard Asher mutter ‘fuck’ behind him. There was a long pause on Milo’s end, filled only with the sound of rain and Milo’s breathing as he walked.
“Milo.”
Finally, he replied, “We’ll be at your place soon.” And with that, Milo hung up.
buzz buzz buzz…buzz buzz buzz…
The buzzing in David’s head started again, echoing those from his phone. He stuffed his phone back into his pocket as he stormed past a bewildered Asher and into his bedroom.
buzz buzz buzz…buzz buzz buzz…
“David? David, what did Milo say? Is Tank ok?” Asher called out as he followed, making the wasps in David’s head angrier. He watched David tear through the drawers of his desk, searching for what, Asher didn’t know.
buzz buzz buzz…buzz buzz buzz…
Asher called his name several more times before David seemed to hear him. He whipped his head around.
“Is Tank hurt?”
buzz buzz buzz…buzz buzz buzz…
“Yes,” David replied before continuing his search, “But Milo says it’s fine, so I’m hoping it’s not too bad. They won’t go to a healer, no surprise there, so they’re coming back here.”
buzz buzz buzz…buzz buzz buzz…
“Who is calling you?”
David finally found what he was looking for; he pulled out the key and clipped it onto his key ring. “The pack. Someone must have found out. Maybe the wreck was on the news or someone saw it like Tank did. They’ve been calling since I left the morgue.”
David pushed past Asher again and started heading towards the front door. He fought back the wasps in his head.
buzz buzz buzz…buzz buzz buzz…
“Are you going to answer?” Asher asked as he followed.
buzz buzz buzz…buzz buzz buzz…
“No.”
buzz buzz buzz…buzz buzz buzz…
“Why not?”
buzz buzz buzz…buzz buzz buzz…
He opened the front door. “I’ll talk to them tomorrow,” buzz buzz buzz…buzz buzz buzz… “At the pack meeting.”
“David they can’t wait that long,” buzz buzz buzz…buzz buzz buzz… “They already know. Or they’ve at least heard rumors. You need to talk to them.”
“Well, I don’t have the time!” buzz buzz buzz…buzz buzz buzz… “I’ve got to get to my dad’s house and figure all this shit out,” David growled. The wasps were winning; he was starting to lose focus. He turned to leave.
buzz buzz buzz…buzz buzz buzz…
“Then let me do it.”
David paused.
buzz buzz buzz…buzz buzz buzz…
“What?” he asked over his shoulder.
buzz buzz buzz…buzz buzz buzz…
Asher’s voice took on an edge David had never heard from him before, “Let me go with you and answer the calls,” buzz buzz buzz…buzz buzz buzz…“I’ll still be near, so you can get to your phone if you need to. But this way, you won’t be distracted, and the pack won’t be left in the dark all night.”
buzz buzz buzz…buzz buzz buzz…
David wanted to say no. Having Asher near right now felt like a liability. But he was right. buzz buzz buzz…buzz buzz buzz…The pack already knew, and keeping them in the dark was only going to incite panic. That and David needed the buzzing to stop, both from his phone and his head.
buzz buzz buzz…buzz buzz buzz…
David unlocked his phone and handed it to Asher.
————————————————
“Hey, can you see who just texted me?” Milo asked, keeping his eyes fixed on the road.
Tank wiped their hands as well as they could on their jeans before picking up Milo’s phone.
goin w david 2 gabes
key undr mat
b back l8r
“It’s Ash,” they reported, “He’s going to Gabe’s place with David? He said the key is under the mat and they’ll be back later.”
“Why’re they—nevermind. Can you text him back and let him know we’re almost to his place and also ask if David has a suturing kit? Password’s 0209.”
Almost to ur place, u got a suture kit?
tank???
The one and only, how’d u know?
u txt dif
y do u hav milos phone
He’s driving
oh rite
r u ok
Im fine, suture kit?
david says in bthrm
Gotcha
y do u need it
Dont worry bout it
————————————————
“…yeah Kelsey, it’s true…I know…we don’t know that yet…yes, tomorrow morning at 11…okay…hey, you text me if you need anything…okay…okay, I’ll see you tomorrow, try and get some rest…I will…bye K.”
Asher ended the call and trotted after David, who was already unlocking Gabe’s front door. He rubbed his eyes in the brief moment of silence before David’s phone started buzzing again.
“Hey, Mika…yeah, it was a car crash…”
David was stuck in the doorway. The foyer loomed before him, both nauseatingly familiar and eerily alien. His childhood home was now as much a husk as his father was. It made the wasps in David’s stomach writhe.
Asher was staring at him, David could feel it. So, he took a step inside. Then another. And another. It almost felt like trespassing.
There was a David who used to live here. Who at seven years old had learned the virtue of honesty when he admitted to breaking the kitchen window. Whose first loose tooth was yanked out by a string attached to the front door. Who used to visit every week after he moved out. Who mended the roof and repainted the baseboards. Who spent countless hours listening to his father’s stories by the fireplace.
That was not this David, the David treading across the floorboards like a thief.
He reached his father’s study and unlocked it with the key he’d retrieved earlier. Asher ended his call and said, “I’ll be in the living room. Let me know if you need anything.”
David nodded and walked into the study, closing the door behind him.
It smelled like him: rosemary, leather, and something distinctly Gabe. The scent should’ve been comforting, but it just stirred the wasps up, making him lightheaded as they whirled.
David switched on the desk lamp. Everything was just as he remembered:
Books lined the walls, organized alphabetically by last name. Stacks of paper sat neatly on the outskirts of the desk’s surface, leaving the middle open for work. A lumpy mug David had made in high school held a collection of pens and pencils.
David walked around the desk. Three picture frames adorned the polished oak. The first held a pack photo from the previous year’s Solstice. The second held a candid of David’s mother, sticking her tongue out at the camera as she ran through a yard sprinkler. The third held a picture of Gabe and David on their most recent camping trip, their faces wild and beaming.
On the back of Gabe’s chair hung his jacket. David felt the black leather—soft with use and dedicated upkeep.
The wasps were stinging his eyes; David pressed his fingers into them, seeing sparks as he crushed the bugs behind his eyelids. He collapsed into the seat and focused on his breathing, forcing the wasps in his chest to move in an orderly fashion. Not here. Not yet. He had a job to do.
David opened the largest drawer of the desk and began to gather what he needed.
————————————————
"Shit, Tank, this looks really bad.”
Milo sat back on his heels; the cold of the tile seeped through his pants and into his skin. Tank stayed still in their position on the bathroom floor as Milo leaned in again, holding the needle tight in his hand.
After a moment, he leaned back again, exclaiming, "Fuck, I don't know how to sew stitches! I mean, my mom taught me to sew but skin is so fucking different than fabric. It moves and bleeds and-and, for fuck's sake, it's your face, can we please get a healer?"
Tank scowled but didn't reply, biting the inside of their cheek to keep from snapping.
"Alright, fine. Okay. But I'm gonna have to go slow. I don't know what I'm doing and, again, this is your face," Milo warned them.
"Just let me do it, then," Tank muttered.
He dismissed the offer, "No, you've got your shaky hand."
"I can use the other."
"No, cause that's not your dominant hand. You've got to do this with your dominant hand, and that's your shaky hand. You're gonna scar real bad if you—”
"I don't care about scars."
"You'll care about this one."
"I have other scars on my face, I really don't care."
"You'll care about this one."
Tank looked away, the weight of the night and how they got there in the first place pulling them back down into silence. Seeing he’d won, for now, Milo breathed deep and tilted Tank’s head up slightly with one hand. He held the needle close to their cheek, whispering, "Okay. I'm gonna start."
Tank winced as the needle pierced their skin, and Milo almost called the whole thing off. But he kept going, and they quickly stopped wincing.
Milo was laser focused, doing his best to keep the stitches small and tidy. But when he was about halfway done, a tear rolled down into the gash, stirring Milo from his concentrated state. He used a gentle thumb to brush away the tears on Tank's cheeks.
"I'm not crying cause it hurts," Tank whispered, "It doesn't hurt."
"I know," Milo murmured, "...almost done."
Despite the circumstances, a sort of morbid satisfaction stirred in Milo at the sight of the bloody rift closing under his hand. It felt good, felt right, to be pulling something back together when everything was falling apart.
When he finished the last stitch, Milo placed a large bandaid over the gash. Tank stared down at their hands while Milo put away the suturing kit.
As he began scrubbing the dried blood off his hands in the sink, Tank explained:
“I didn’t mean to do this, you know.”
Milo stayed quiet, giving Tank the space to talk more if they wanted. But the silence just made them feel more pressured to defend themself.
“Well, I did mean to throw that glass, I just, I didn’t mean for it to throw itself back at me,” they clarified.”
“Okay,” Milo said. His tone came out of his mouth light, but fell heavy on Tank’s ears.
“I wasn’t trying to draw attention to myself,” Tank asserted, their anxiety rising.
“Okay,” Milo repeated. The discussion didn’t need to go any further. He didn’t even know why it was happening in the first place.
Tank blinked tears from their eyes. “I wouldn’t do that. I wouldn’t purposely pull everyone’s attention from Gabe.”
Milo turned around and leaned against the sink, trying to defuse them, “I believe you, Tank. I know you. You would’ve let yourself bleed out in that shower before ever coming to me or anyone else for help. Especially tonight.”
“You say that like it’s a bad thing.”
“Of course it’s a bad thing, Tank!” Milo threw his hands up, gripping tightly onto his braids.
“How is that a bad thing?!?”
“Because you can’t—I just—ugh, I can’t have this conversation right now. I need…I don’t know what I need, but it’s not any more of this,” Milo shot.
Tank’s face twitched from the blow. They staggered to their feet. “Fine. Then I’ll leave.”
“What? Tank, no—”
“You stitched me up. Thanks. Now I’m leaving.” They threw open the bathroom door.
Milo followed them down the hall, grumbling, “Tank, you don’t even have a ride.”
“I’ll walk.”
He rolled his eyes. They were being ridiculous. “That’ll take you forever, especially in this weather.”
Tank whipped around, hissing, “I don’t give a fuck. You don’t need me here, you said it yourself.”
“I didn’t mean it that way.”
“Well it sure did fucking sound like it.”
They stormed towards the door, but Milo slipped in front of them and blocked their path.
“I just meant I don’t need to talk about that anymore!” he exclaimed, gesturing to Tank’s cheek, “We can talk about Gabe. We can talk about how we feel. We can talk about the future and the pack and what this all means going forward. Or we could not talk at all! But I don’t want to talk about shit that’s already happened. I don’t want to talk about shit that didn’t even happen in the first place. That’s not productive.”
“I don’t care about being productive,” they spat.
“But you care about David, right? If you won’t stay for yourself or for me, stay for him.”
“He’s not even here.”
“But he’ll be back. And you know how he gets; he’s going to need us.”
“He doesn’t need me.”
“Yes, he does,” he groaned.
Milo’s phone began to vibrate.
Tank cried out, “No, he doesn’t! He doesn’t need my mess on top of everything else going on.”
As Milo dug his phone out of his pocket, Tank shoved past him and raced out the front door.
Milo’s heart stuttered at the name on his screen. He rushed to the open door, yelling into the storm, “Tank, stop! Tank, please come back! Tank!”
Tears welling in his eyes, he leaned his weight against the door frame and answered the call.
“Mom?….yeah, it’s true. Gabe’s dead.”
Wails erupted through his phone, scraping Milo hollow.
————————————————
David found everything in under ten minutes—unsurprisingly, given how organized Gabe was and how pressed David was to leave.
When he’d gathered the last of what he needed, he locked the study and walked into the living room. Asher was pacing, on another call of what seemed an endless barrage. He glanced at David and was summoned by a jerk of the latter’s head.
The two left the house and drove back home, Asher answering calls and texts the whole way back. When they reentered their apartment, they heard Milo’s voice trickling down the hallway:
“Yeah, I know…no, but I’m sure we’ll find out more tomorrow…Oh, David and Ash are back. I’m gonna talk to them and then head over…no the rain has died down, I’ll be fine…yeah…okay, I will, I promise…okay, see you soon…I love you too, ma.”
He looked up at David and Asher.
“Is Tank okay?” Asher asked.
“Huh?” Milo replied in a daze.
“They had to get stitches?”
“Oh right…um, yeah they fell on their way to their apartment after they saw the crash. The rain made their stairwell slippery and they busted their face open. But I stitched them up, best I could,” Milo lied.
Asher nodded before getting another call. He answered, walking away into the kitchen.
“Where are they now?” David asked, clutching a handful of manila folders, a briefcase, and a familiar jacket.
“They uh,” Milo looked away, “They left.”
The buzzing picked back up in David’s head. “Left?”
“…we got into a fight.”
David breathed out slowly, muttering under his breath, “Tank.”
“No, no, it’s my fault! I was distracted, I wasn’t careful with my words, I wasn’t listening to them. They left, I don’t know where, and I was gonna chase after them but then my mom called and…” Milo wiped the back of his hand across his face.
The sight of Milo’s tear-streaked cheeks turned the hum in David’s head into a cacophony.
“I think I’m gonna stay at hers tonight,” Milo croaked as he gathered his things, “She’s really upset.”
“Of course,” David replied, internally cursing that he couldn’t bring himself to say more.
“I um, I’ll be at the meeting tomorrow. I’ll text Ash for the details,” Milo babbled. He stopped by the front door. “David. If you need anything, you text me. Or call me. You hear?”
“I hear,” David lied, the buzzing in his head drowning everything out.
#YAY second chapter done!!#this one is like twice as long as the first chapter whoops#but im very excited with where i plan to go from here#this is gonna be a much longer fic than i originally thought#ok so my thoughts prob dont read further until u read the fic#or do i dont really care#milo's passcode to his phone is an easter egg hehe#i like personalizing the wolf bois texting styles#darlin is only texting with capital letters cause milo hasn't turned off his auto-cap#otherwise on their own phone they dont capitalize anything ever just like asher and me lol#ive got shit in the works for the wasps its not just a random thing that im gonna drop after this so no worries there#poor marie!!!#poor everyone tbh#oop and kelsey cameo!#ok im worried about running out of tags so im gonna stop here#if u wanna know more just send me an ask/message and i'll keep yapping#anyway#mayhem is brewing#redacted asmr#redacted audio#redacted fandom#redacted fanfic#redactedverse#redacted headcanons#redacted david#redacted milo#redacted asher#redacted tank#redacted darlin#redacted gabe
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I just find it very interesting that all the labour classed as lesser (most often seen as "women's labour") becomes indispensable in moments of crisis. It's just interesting to see how quickly people turn to that labour and then discard it in moments of peace or prosperity, devaluing it until another crisis hits.
#politics#feminism#yes this is me reflecting upon the knitting and war video#it's interesting how a 'feminine' craft like knitting became recognized only in tangent to the violence of war#my feelings about this are complex but i think textile craft is a good example of what i mean#because textiles are revolutionary to humanity - just like the discovery of fire. and yet it is so often devalued#especially when it comes to profit over human welfare#look the textile artist to even stauncher hater of capitalism pipeline is real and i'm barreling down it faster than the speed of light#complex feelings on this but this is my general thesis i guess#(context: i was watching a video about knitting and how it supported war efforts in wwi and wwii)#(and while i did know a lot about the topic in that it was a huge part of war support propaganda it was still interesting)#i feel like that video encapsulated a lot of angst i have about crafting labour especially#and also by 'interesting' i actually mean infuriating and stupid
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the 2020s political argument for unionization is that the only activity/location that rivals the phone in terms of time spent is the workplace. once they clock out they are lost to phone
#the thing with labor is that organizing used to be much harder. history provides a perspective. it could be worse.#source: it has been#maybe sean obrien will get a return on his turncoat investment. i don't know. whatever#if he does it won't matter electorally because nobody gaf about the 6% of private sector workers who are in unions#either way that high rate of public approval for unions aint nothing but political capital to burn. TO ME#treatlers will not be happy with an organized amazon. let them be miserable!#let them order the struggle sandwich with dire sauce.#i believe in the power of self interest.#i mean only the deep south bothers with anti-union messaging from government anymore anyway#so like we gotta Lock In#like 👽what is the next step of the operation👽
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The dorm internet went down so instead of being normal I wrote fanfiction physically. No clue how much, but I've got about 2 pages front and back full of words. My hand HURTS.
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#shitty picture but who cares#yes it is wrench fic#i need a better name for that fic especially with how close i am to finishing#literally wrote one of the scenes i really needed to in here!#so theres only one scene left until this is done!!#although i gotta go back and edit and revise and all that you know how it is#but yeah crappy pic. you can try to read it if you want i guess lol#beware my weird ass hand writing where random letters are capitalized cause i think it looks nice#and my z's are written like curly 2s cause i also think it looks nice#do i tag this lokius? i think im gonna tag this#lokius#lokius fanfic#mobius m mobius#loki laufeyson#loki season 2#haven't shared what theyre talking about btw so its like kinda spoilers if you care?#take it as a bonus 7 sentence sunday lol
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I think we need to blow up the mouthwashing tag on every social media site
Solid fucking agree 🚬🐴
#asks#anon#can people treat I dunno. really heavy topics with the weight they deserve instead of fandomizing them like everything else. I know the#answer but still. and the way people have done it too is insaneeee like come the fuck on you people are literally ignoring shit for your own#comfort and thus creating some evilass metatextual instances ie using anya as a vessel for your own shit (denying her agency) and ignoring#jimmy on all levels because he makes you so uncomfortable but still wanting to have just one person to blame so villainizing the shit out of#curly when he did very much so fuck up big time but was still a person who did try even if it wasn't enough and also an abuse victim but#nobody likes to acknowledge that because nobody likes the idea that an abuse victim can fuck up big time and still be an abuse victim and#there's also the matter of how people idolize swansea and go oh he would've never let this happen when bro did know what happen halfway into#the months after the crash and didn't formally do anything until daisuke died. and people just act like daisuke can't and never would do#anything wrong when he literally stood there while jimmy rufied swansea. also the whole infantalization by the fandom really takes on a#whole nother tinge when you remember he's the only asian person on the Tulpar. like. guysssss. tears my fucking hair out and kills myself.#there's a reason that the only tag for a media I've found deeply personal I've refused to follow is mouthwashing because from the shit#that's slipped through the cracks alone good fucking god‼️‼️‼️ this is the uncomfortable game about accountability capitalism and sa do NOT#fucking remove the nuance from it. jesus fucking christ😀#anyway. yea.
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sorry to be a bit of a hater but i do wish youtubers weren't so scared of making their videos just like, "reviews", whys everything gotta be a "video essay" all the time. every day my recommendations are filled with 40 minute videos titled "_____: An Underrated Masterpiece" where the first like five minutes are reading the wikipedia definition of "masterpiece" in a somber voice with dramatic themed text on screen. please just tell me how good or bad you think something is and use the rest of the runtime to explain why. you dont need to put on all these airs
#i know the ahem. channel. of some awe....... that whole situation kind of scared people off from using the word review#but like we live in the future now. you can make a review. i believe in you#AND LIKE i like a good video essay!! but im picky. because i read academic shit for fun#when i see a capital E essay im expecting theses. im expecting sub headers. im expecting multiple examples AND footnotes with asides#(and i know this is a controversial topic but i do expect them to be long. because if you read aloud a 4 page journal article its gonna)#(take a bit of time LOL maybe i just read too much academia shit. but i dunno man. theres not a lot you can say about like a big huge)#(topic with multiple angles if you only have like 10 minutes. maybe i just talk too slow. i need to breath <3 )#theres other formats too. surveys. retrospectives. informative essays. persuasive essays. etc#and like i also read lots of reviews not just of like movies and books but of like gallery exhibitions and shit!! they can be extremely#interesting a lot of work and some really beautiful writing!! nothing wrong with a review!!! theyre important#but i do get annoyed with like. the odd air of pretention i see in a lot of video essays. especially cause its usually not backed up by#the content. i dont care for those airs in academia either. nor do i like it in documentaries#just talk naturally. you'll find your voice. there might be pretention in it in the end but it'll be yours#if im making sense. i hear a lot of people talking in a pretention that is not their own. something they put on because thats what they#think they should do. you need to find your own pretention. be pretentious in a way that feels natural to youuuuuu#hell im being pretentious. about this LOL but like its my own. it is a pretentiousness ive built over the past half decade#play around. write a blog. i dunno. find your voice dear youtubers. find your voice
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friend notoriously bad at videogames said shed play marvel rivals with me tomorrow chat if i never post after tomorrow night its because a blood vessel bursted
#marvel rivals#snap chats#AT LEAST WE’LL HAVE OUR OTHER FRIEND THERE BUT god.#she funny as hell she just suddenly called me and was like ‘i saw your twitter. do you wanna play marvel rivals tomorrow’#and then she proceeds to be like ‘wait so who do you main. other than magneto’ Motherfucker with a capital M#NO I SWEAR IM NOT A ONE TRICK i really like wanda hawkeye and jeff….#NO SHE SAID ONE MORE THING SHE WAS LIKE ‘wait are charles and magneto the same guy’ and she tries to Just Kidding her wait outta it#Note whenever she says Just Kidding she’s trying to cover her ass I PROMISE I WAS LIKE /KAYLA. BE SERIOUS./#and then she was like ‘who’s the friendlier one of the two’#and then i had to hit her with the Technically People Think Theyre Both Varying Degrees Of Asshole. however charles probably wont bite you#and THEN SHE WAS LIKE ‘ok well you should draw magneto surprising charles with jollibees’ AND I. NO SHE THINKS MY EXISTENCE SURROUNDS JB#AND THIS GAL HAD THE GAUL TO BE LIKE ‘oh do you know how to make it since its a big part of your culture’#i was flabbergasted frankly. ‘oh you guys really like jollibees so you know how to make it right’ i screamed#LIKE ????ISJAJSJSJSJ i cant stress the anomaly this girl is i wish you all could meet her so you understand me#AND LIKE SURE I LOVE JBS but she only ever mentions puto and jollibees to me like kayla. there is more to PH culture than that sjKakss#its really funny with the ??? shit she says i cant lie#she was all ‘oh is the winter soldier in the game ? you should play him hes cool :) and from jersey :) ok well his actor is but—‘ LIKE DKSKS#‘snap arent you being a little mean’ no trust and believe AND I HAVE WITNESSES#i have stupid amounts of stories with her. like she tried to excuse being dumb by sayin shes a capricorn#we’re literally both capricorns and she was born two days before me I Cannot. Do You Understand Me.#anyways. she said i should stream me playing rivals would anyone care about that#i kinda wanted to …. i think it’d be fun…. plus i miss streaming :(#ok byebye for now my bros almost home and i said id let him play so i could work on comms#i mean thats assuming he wants to play. if not uhhhhhhh#anyways BYE. ill tell yall how the game goes tomorrow night if i dont die of a stroke#again at least our other friend’ll be there so someone can laugh at my pain
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listen i still love veilguard and i think i'll end up replaying the shit out of it just like inquisition but uhhhh some of this writing
#etxt#datv critical#veilguard critical#< just in case#datv spoilers#>#why does tevinter just kinda feel like kirkwall-lite and not like.. tevinter. like The capital of slavery and racism? Where are these thing#why are the crows just basically nice anti-heroes lmao what happened to all the shit zevran told us about#and sorry why is solas being all “oh don't worry only Evil People will join up with the gods! the elves won't care if they reach out :)”#why is this so black and white suddenly. none of the villains i've seen so far feel very complex. they're just. evil#hello what is happening hereeeeeeeeeee#i dont know. is it gonna get better. i mean i remember people hating inquisitions writing when it came out too#but uhhhh
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tumblr said draw something bad so I did but I'm mad I still didn't feel anything
#man i started tagging this and i cant even bring myself to do it. hashtag art hashtag illustration hashtag capitalism.#sorry to be sadposting... tumblr is the only place i can admit ive actually been really really struggling with my love for art...#i should be grateful. i should be thankful for the fact that i can do art as my job. i shouldnt be whining about it like this.#but theres a hole in my soul where my joy for creating used to be and i dont know how to fix it. i want to love to draw again.#its been like this for probably over a year now and i dont know what to do. i cant abandon everything ive been working on for 7 years.#im also unemployable. so its not like i would dare to quit moonlume...but i just want to find joy in it again...#but capitalism has dug its wretched claws into my skull so badly that everything has been feeling incredibly soulless. i hate it.#anyway. might delete this later. its unprofessional but this is the one website where i can let go of professionalism for 5min and be human.#i dont hate what i do and i really am thankful..i just i wish i wasnt so stressed about making everything look good and perfect and sellable#but at this point its subconsciously connected to my survival that every time i think about drawing i stress myself out before i even start#ugh idk. neither here nor there. cant quit but dont feel connected to my work but cant change what i do or i will alienate my audience 👍
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