#and that teaching stresses me out
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hi ally!! jumping on the random questions train- what do you do for work?
Yay for the random question train! Keep them coming this is fun!
My grown up job is in marketing with a focus on copy writing. However, because I can never not be doing something and also my hobby is *horses* which is very expensive, I also work at a bookstore which I find a lot of fun and is essentially me following my passion because I LOVE books and am a very avid reader 😊
Thank you for the questions! If anyone wants to send more that would be amazing this is fun!
❤️Ally
#allylikethecat#ask ally#anon ask#questions#answers#ask game#i refuse to do horses as a job#i did that for about six months during covid#and very much realized that I like riding my OWN horses#not other peoples horses#and that teaching stresses me out#im also in my late twenties down and dont bounce the way i used to#like getting bucked off HURTS a lot more now#I don't care how talented a horse is i am uninterested in them these days if they buck or rear#like i can deal with a spook or bolting but i am not about the bucking or rearing life anymore#thankfully Pop is perfect and would never#thats a lie he's actually a bolter which isn't ideal either i just prefer it to the other options because its easier to sit haha#and also i've had him so long as this point i can usually tell when he's going to do it and plan accordingly#once in a while though he'll spin first and that's what gets me#i know that you asked about work but honestly my horse hobby is much more interesting than me admitting i write facebook posts for a living#lol
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Being the captain means always being the one everyone turns to.
#trafalgar law#one piece#my art#ITS LATE SUMMER DEPRESSION HOURS LADS#WE’RE STRUGGLING OUT HERE#(to be clear we’re fine I just cried a lot today)#anyway vent art put all that pain on law make him suffer#(he’s already suffering)#(it’s okay just refer to yesterday’s hug drawing i think that one happens after this)#(…sure I only gave him the amber lead scars in one of them…)#(…maybe they only appear when he’s stressed/upset)#(work with me here)#anyway vent art works I just got a text the seminar I’m teaching was pushed back two weeks
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I think one of the funniest framings of the first ep of blue exorcist is hypothetically Yukio and bon met cuz they originally shared a dorm only for Yukio to immediately leave and not return until a week later and now he's his teacher
#I'm fully assuming Yukio went home for his father's funeral prep cuz it would be weird if he didn't#It's actually really weird we don't see him the day of but the funeral had already ended when we see rin grieving so that's prolly why#I get its a narrative set up so we don't see Yukio since he left until he's revealed cuz rin is the protag but still#Anyway that was prolly really weird for bon especially cuz it's never mentioned#I'm also assuming the exwires didn't know Yukio would be teaching cuz it was a sudden change since Shiro was supposed to teach originally#I'm just now realizing this would stress me the fuck out#I cant believe rin went to school right after his father's funeral like take a week off or something#None of these notes are actually about this post#Take all of this as you will#blue exorcist#ao no exorcist#yukio okumura#ryuuji suguro
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Here to share Hien thoughts today.
One thing that defines her is that she’s very capable. She’s the highest ranking in the squad after Maizuru so her confidence is in part because she does have that senior coworker &/ leader authority to her, confidence which is very much earned.
If I had to dig deeper at her beyond just what we’re shown I’d go with the angle that… She was born into the Nakamoto household and being a ninja servant, she grew up there, she doesn’t know anything else beyond the job, and it’s a job she does well, traines to get there. She’s here to do her work and she’s content with her life being how it is, not that she knows anything else. I don’t think she’d be self-aware about it all? Both because this really is pretty normal for Wa and it’s her normal, and because, while she doesn’t fold her spine or care for things like cosmetics, she does mold her attitude to be both capable and respectable. Her home, the Nakamoto household, is simultaneously a professional setting, it’s a 24/7 thing.
She’s critical of others, including her superiors and she doesn’t shy from it. Everyone shittalks Toshiro’s father regardless, but she also gets reprimanded by Maizuru for seeing Toshiro as vaguely unreliable, again likely influenced by their history as childhood friends, sasses Maizuru when she goes off into an anecdote again, etc. Even as a kid with Toshiro, doubtlessly after starting her ninja training already considering that Toshiro started his at ~5yo, she told him it was unbecoming of him to cry. She’s the one both with the job and the will to keep others in check, like when it comes to Izutsumi not doing her tasks, etc etc.
Her childhood friend relationship with Toshiro only grew more professional with time, to her surprise but seems to be more about the thought of it rather than it affecting her emotionally. With the way her extra comic lays it out, it seems she expected to become Toshiro’s mistress because of history repeating itself, in a "it is what it is" way more than anything, which is in line with the reading that she’s more go-with-the-flow and "anything that I’m tasked with I’ll accomplish, as a matter of course". She’s not really social, and keeps herself ready to act at beck and call. She’s not uptight but she’s hard-working. So yeah like, taking pride in your skills but also keeping your identity mostly molded for efficiency. She doesn’t really think about it all, she just is and she’s fine with things as they are, going from one task to the next.
I think it’d be neat to look at her relationship with her parents… They’re both servants at the Nakamotos’, so while maybe busy like Maizuru was at times while raising Toshiro but still taking the time to cook for him (which, parents that prioritize work over her would make sense with how she became how she is), I wonder what their relationship was like, how much time they spent together, how Hien feels like towards them… I assume they’re a part in molding what her definition of normal is, after all if they are longstanding servants of the Nakamotos she has that much less reason to question such a life. But like… Have they ever had hard-hitting discussions, or is she pretty distant even with them? Did they push her into working harder, or were more hands-off? Does Hien maybe want to earn recognition by being capable? Hien has a younger sister that she gets along "so-so" with…
Hien’s younger sister seems to smile more, be more social and a bit nonchalant, such and such. Could be a point of tension that points to the "so-so", that they’re dissimilar/Hien thinks she doesn’t behave right or takes things too lightly, that she’s "unreliable" maybe. Or it could also point to some difference in how they grew up… Like oh I bet there could be tasty angst with mertocracy and siblings favoritism with her family thrown in there… Having to earn the love, earn your keep, earn your spot in the hierarchy (in work and family both)
To me she shines best as a foil, like to Beni, but like. She’s got neat stuff going on If you’re wondering where I took half of what I referenced from I recommend looking at my masterpost on the Nakamoto party, info and extras are compiled
#Dungeon meshi#delicious in dungeon#Hien#Meta#character analysis#fumi rambles#Working on a lot of different things on top of my actual work so things r slower than i’d like lately… Have this Discord ramble as apology#Meanwhile Beni’s attitude is very subservient and submissive. It’s interesting how little and how much difference they have simultaneously#On that front. Like you can’t really say Hien isn’t like a bodyguard ornament in the bg even if she shows more personality#Hienbeni fic will get finished one day I prommy#We’ve never seen Hien stressed which I think is a feat. Teach me your ways (probably repression)#Hien girlboss compilation#Ok Hien sister jealousy plot where she doesn’t know where the anger is coming from so she assumes it’s out of principle bc h slacks off#Hienbeni repressed anger power couple truly#So hmmm 3w2 enneagram Hien…? Beni I was thinking either 8w9 or 6w5… Maybe smth that becomes an 8 when stressed#You have to be pretty ballsy to specialize in explosives
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i learned at a young age that there is no help in society and that asking for help only makes people irritated with you, and that if you tell people things they won't believe you and deny your pain even exists. this is why it is fkn baffling to me that there are adults in this world who walk around thinking that this magical asking for help thing works and that anybody gives a fuck about anyone. like what fkn world do u live in???? if u tell ppl how others hurt you u are a liar, it didnt happen. if u ask for help bc you can barely function, they'll slap your hand away and say that u're fine stop whining. "DaRE tO aSk fOr HeLp" what fkn help are y'all talking abt?
#anyway im so angry and i hate society and people so much when i think about my life#i think of that little girl asking grown ups for help because thats what everyone said you should do#and all they did was to teach me that nobody cares nobody believes you#asking for help only brings more pain as they ignore you#it is better to not even give them a chance and keep it to yourself#also i wake up with rage towards the healthcare system#i HATE them and i HATE everyone who works within it#yesterday i got a fkn bill for smth i dont even know what it is#i think bc this dumb ass bitch with a worthless job there#called me a few times and i didnt pick up#bc i have told this worthless idiot that I DONT WANNA FKN TALK ON THE PHONE MESSAGE ME INSTEAD#and ig they counted that as an appt and gave me a bill for a call i havent even had#i hate hate hate them sm they only give me more stress and anxiety#i hate that im fkn mentally disabled and cant live an function but they wont help me#i dont know what to do and im freaking out and my family is slowly leaving me and imma end up homeless lmao#i just fucking hate everyone and everything so much i cannot even describe. this hatred is so painful too bc it is so so so intense
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My favourite part of Nagisa's sidestory is when Nagisa, Yuu, and Inui had a lovely tea party with Nagisa's homemade cheesecake and emotional support for Inui to break up with her shitty boyfriend and emotional support for Nagisa dealing with her shitty mom's death and nothing bad happened!
#puella magi madoka magica#mahou shoujo madoka magica#madoka magica#pmmm#wyfy's meltdowns#magical girl#nagisa madoka magica#nagisa pmmm#nagisa momoe#yuusa magia record#yuu magia record#yuusa yumeno#inui itsumi#magia record#and they formed a lovely magical girl team and worked through their issues and everything was great!!!#nagisa is teaching yuu and inui about cheeses#inui is teaching yuu and nagisa about fashion#and yuu is teaching nagisa and inui that the people who truly love you wouldn't make you stress or hate yourself and-#-it's ok to cut off toxic and abusive people!#I'm happy we finally found out Nagisa's full story but at what cost?#I love pmmm and magia record but by god it makes me miserable (positive)
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moodboard for this past week ❤️
#they should invent a grad school thats not fucking insane#i'm hanging in there but im the most unwell i've been in AWhile#this week was just horrible#there was already the freezer food incident but it also started off with a very severe pain episode thats putting me in constant woe#even mundane motion has been agonizing which is McAwesome bc we had a lab inspection which involved moving hundreds of pounds of equipment#during which we found a blackwidow and rats which we had to deal with and was a whole thing psychologically on top of the physical toll#the new class fiasco is still popping off and i had to respond to at this point over 400 emails in the fleeting moments outside of lab#AND A STUDENT TRIED TO FINANCIALLY BRIBE THEIR WAY INTO THE CLASS ? ?? ?? ?????#then the instructor wanted to use me as a guinea pig and i had to test new circuit boards but I wasnt given any time to do so properly#i had to test them plus get them operational and deal with my incoming students all in a frantic 10 minute window#im in charge of running our meetings too but the instructor was interrupting and having side conversations that made it really hard-#to train the other people on the new equipment in a smooth manner#which meant that a bunch of people had to keep me after to ask questions which made me late for my drs appointment#where i found out i cant get the new covid vaccine bc my heart and blood levels arnt stable enough#and joanns lost an expensive+critical fabric order of mine+i had to give a big presentation this week on my research that was stressful#and my inbox is still blowing up from being needed all over the place between teaching lab and classes and yall i am. so so tired.#im in so much pain and so stressed out#debating the ethics of turning into a pile of lint to escape my responsibilities and mortal frame
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it's been over a whole month since i had a stupid argument with my parents about driving, a skill that i legally possess but hate doing because i have a special brain illness that makes me fear death and injury, but i'm still chewing over an absurd claim that it's "equally dangerous to go on a 14 hour train ride like you just did". literally how is that more dangerous. in what way. in what world. public transport is nice and good and i like it and i don't have to enter my personal torment nexus
#goddddd it was so bad#i was trying to explain that yes i understand the importance of maintaining my skill but also i want to build my life in a way that doesn't#depend on doing a thing that stabs me directly in the mental illness#and i was basically told that im both a whiny coward that doesn't wanna do scary things AND i do scary things all the time?????#pick one!!!!!!!!! either im a stupid sheltered baby or im a brave soldier who understands the danger of being alive!!#ive always been a Good and Agreeable child but ive been grounded One time in my life#and that was when my parents were teaching me to ride a bike without training wheels and it stressed me out and made me cry so much#I WONDER IF MAYHAPS I HAVE ANXIETY#I KNOW I GOTTA DO SCARY THINGS BECAUSE EVERYTHING IS SCARY AND I DO THEM ANYWAY#but like sending an email is not putting my life at risk as like. car traffic#and for all my anxiety the only fear ive ever had about public transport has been like. missing a train or a bus#im not afraid of travelling alone or sharing a space with people???#and p much most public vehicles are safer than personal cars????#drivers of the vehicles receive more rigorous training and stuff??? and also they get a lot of experience bc they do it every day???#how is that less safe than putting a mentally ill nervous wreck in the torment nexus#is this what evangelion was about bc im not sure
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Wouldn't it just be delicious if in season 2 the show went out of its way to confirm Ed's literacy, like showing him casually doing captain things like looking at ship manifests or checking ledgers or whatever? I think that could be hilarious.
I'm already an Ed Can Read truther because beyond the likelihood that a captain would need to be able to read maps and charts and the like, the set for his cabin on his original ship included scrolls, and at the party we see him look at the dinner place card while sitting in the right place.
Also historically, it really wasn't that uncommon to be able to read but not write! So him signing with an X doesn't disprove that to me. It would be even funnier if later on we learned that he knew how to write properly too, or even had a lovely running hand that rivaled Lucius? I would just eat that up with a spoon.
#i cannot stress this enough#I mostly want this because it would be funny#like 99% of my desire for this is because it would be funny#anyway#literacy is a spectrum#something modern people forget because so many of us learn to read and write not that far apart#and do so fairly early in our lives#to say nothing of protestant attitudes towards literacy and how aggressively protestant England was#iirc the literacy rate in the colonies could be much higher at times because Puritans#which of course means more north america than anything#but idk#I'm willing to wait for the show to prove me wrong#edward teach is literate#only David Jenkins can judge me#I know people think it would be cute if we got a whole#stede teaches ed to read thing#but idk those plots in fics kinds gross me out#plus I think a show as obsessed with the stuff this one is wouldn't do that#ofmd#our flag means death#ofmd meta#edward teach
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Its the end of the year
#loz#legend of zelda#toon link#link#next week is finals week. im trying to stuff my head with all the stuff ive learned#its hard. ive learned a lot. its all going in one ear and out the other#plus my profs are still teaching???? like finals are NEXT WEEK BRO#last time i said. i lost my buffer because i stopped playing re4 briefly. that was a fucking lie#only i cant play it this weekend because i cannot fail these finals. i failed my midterms. pls god i need to pass#so i might draw because i can play re4 for 14 hours and not get bored or do anything else#but i can draw and study at the same time. or get bored of drawing and study.#i dunno i feel like my learning habits are fucked because i used to draw in class to concentrate or stress relief. i got all my ideas#doodling in notebooks. but then distance learning happened and. i stopped drawing#ruined me
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The dog I've been sitting for in the haunted house is the most neurotic dog I've dealt with, which is really saying something. She's not bad but she IS completely bonkers. And she's not a rescue! Same owners her whole life. How do people fuck up an animal's brain this hard?
The only thing I've seen even close was a rescue dog adopted during covid lockdown who then didn't understand what other dogs are and had crazy separation anxiety.
#i feel like this is what it was like to deal with me after my parents failed to teach me anything about being human#like this dog ONLY exists to glom onto people and that makes me sad for her#she has no idea how to dog#and can't be out of sight of a person without losing it#idk the longer i pet sit the more i see the hows and whys of fucked up animals#and it's.......#it's always a human's fault in my experience#i guess bc im seeing dogs whose families care about them enough to get a sitter#but idk why it's assumed by americans that we magically know what's good for dogs even though most of us know very little about animals#i feel sadder and sadder for dogs with no toys#dogs who don't take walks or ONLY take walks and never get to be off leash#dogs who sit in an empty room all day with nothing to do#i understand the impulse to have a smart little animal who loves you#but shit they're too smart to be ignored all the time without going a little bonkers#i legit go and buy chews and toys w my own money when i see a client's dog is bored#and it invariably makes the dog better to deal with#IDK YALL IM STRESSED ABOUT PETS#i know they're not the same but people should get cats instead they're better at entertaining themselves
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I love tumblr. Specifically my for you page. It's got everything I am. Moss appreciation post? Check. Gay pirates? Check. Silly angels? Check. Neurodivergent vampires? Check. A genderfluid god? Check. Like?? What's not to love.
#good omens#our flag means death#what we do in the shadows#loki series#doctor who#ineffable bureaucracy#ofmd season 2#edward teach#mobius#loki x sylvie#i love how relatable it always is#excuse me i'm just being emotional#uni is stressing me out atm#i am cringe but i am free x
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i agree that theres zionist propaganda in the knuckles show and that it should be called out. but am i the only one who thinks that one big post about it going around (the one that sjust a bunch of screenshots with no elaboration or anything and has like 15k notes) is not doing the best job at accurately conveying whats going on in the scene or what the problem is when it comes to the content of the show itself. at least not to people who dont know what happens already. like im not accusing the op of trying to confuse people on purpose or anything its just that like i said the post doesnt really present the scene accurately and is missing a lot of context and the post in question is probably the only thing a lot of people are seeing about this when its not a very good source of information
#like for example. the scene where israel is mentioned is wade's mom being praised and portrayed as cool and badass#for knowing/teaching idf fighting technique. which . yeah. thats very questionable#but the post completely cuts all that out and just takes the screenshot of israel being mentioned and nothing else ?#even though including full context of that moment would have helped prove the point a lot better than just showing that one screenshot?#and then they placed the israel mention next to a completely separate unrelated conversation that happened a few minutes before that#making it look like its all one convo. its just presented very weirdly in general and probably confusing a lot of people on whatsgoing on#also while we're on the subject: i know i talked about the show a little bit after watching it (pirated)#without mentioning this stuff. this wasnt because i was ignoring it on purpose its because i genuinely didnt notice it at first#theres only one direct israel namedrop in the show and i didnt notice it until it was pointed out to me after id seen it#because i was watching without subtitles and didnt pick up on it . i cannot stress enough that i wasnt ignoring it on purpose#ok thats all
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Recently bought the chickens a rat-proof feeder because the world's biggest pack of rats has moved in and I've had enough. Training the chickens to use it is going well, if slowly. (It would be a lot faster if I still lived with my chickens, or at least lived closer than 30 minutes away... 😅 I can't be there all the time to work with them.)
Midnight, however, refuses to engage with the thing and instead stands next to it looking cranky while she watches the young'uns eat.
#unfortunately the seller forgot to send me the part that makes the door close softly 🙄 he'll send it soon tho#it would definitely be easier to teach the chickens that this contraption is safe if it didn't slam closed#it would probably also be easier if they'd ever eaten out of a feeder of any sort ever in their lives 😅#midnight has been eating off the ground for 11 years and doesn't seem keen to eat out of some newfangled noisy tin can#but hopefully it'll get easier#if the chickens get hungry enough they'll eat out of anything i figure#anyway the star of these training sessions is definitely tofu. she's very shy so i didn't expect her to try it so quick but#apparently she'll do anything for bread scraps!#midnight#tofu#crow#oh yeah more quick notes#the front panel on the feeder is open in these photos bc i was still in the process of adjusting the spring tension#also I've since rearranged the bricks so it's easier for the chickens to stand in front of it#i reeeeally hope this works bc. you guys. the rats are SO bad#i was at the end of my rope i was seriously almost ready to simply get rid of all the chickens i was so stressed#things haven't been easy for me regarding all my animals i had to leave behind when i moved. i miss them every day#I'm also so not used to living in a house without a single animal. I've always had pets around til now#i want a cat but I'm holding out hope that i can convince my parents to give me MY cat. my dad refused to let me take her#and I'm worried about her. she needs more specialized care and she will never receive it in that house#sigh anyway. i have a lot on my mind
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I must confess. Their first kiss is still my favourite (even though I adore all the others) it’s just the way they look at each other at the end and the whole “what makes Ed happy is you/ you make Stede happy” and the way they get to just sit there afterwards holding hands and just… ah it’s so sweet
#even though Stede is stressing out#HES ALSO SO IN LOVE#and I never found their first kiss awkward#it’s always been sweet to me#(if it was a middle aged straight couple kissing like that people wouldn’t call it awkward/the actors homophobic)#(it’s just bee seen as sweet/gentle/shy)#BUT ANYWAY#I love their first kiss#maybe cause I’ve also had over a year to get emotionally attached#but just#the whole scene is so so so gentle ahh#and even tho I love their s2 kisses they don’t get as much time to just… sit together/hold each other afterwards#(understandably for the last two)#IM RAMBLING IM JUST A BIG SOFTIE#ollie rambles#ofmd#stede bonnet#edward teach#blackbonnet#gentlebeard
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#went to look up my donor for some health info and discovered that he’s now ‘inactive’#so no vials remaining and he’s not expected to donate again#for some reason that is making me cry and cry#the reason is probably hormones#but also owen is so perfect and it makes me sad that he won’t be able to have a full sibling#I also wish I hadn’t sold back the remaining vials I had purchased#but I needed the money back and I couldn’t afford 2+ years of exorbitant storage fees#this industry is such a racket and makes it hard to make the decisions you want to make#because everything is marked up 1000x#just gonna tell myself it’s ok to be pretty sad about it#but also if I have another baby someday lots of people are half siblings#and this whole experience is teaching me about the elasticity and adaptability of the concept of family#people obviously don’t have to be 100% biologically related#to love and take care of each other#I want to release myself from feeling guilty over not keeping the vials#it’s also not a guarantee that I would’ve had enough to successfully conceive again#and that might’ve been more upsetting! to try four times and be stressing about running out#now the decision is out of my hands and I can just find a way to be at peace with that#baby tag
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