#doodling in notebooks. but then distance learning happened and. i stopped drawing

[ra-vio]

Its the end of the year

[all-hail-the-witcher]

are you drunk, high, or sober

so kids

today is,,,,mikeys birthday!! my lil bean boi is growing up awww

anyway though, so, obviously we did not go to high school together cause fuck distance so for this Special Occasion I decided to combine my freshman bio class, my senior English teacher, and a bunch of mikeys 1 am bullshit together to create what I think could be an accurate rendition of how we would have met if we had gone to high school together.

really it’s just a crack fic about evolution and hot cheetos.

_____

ship: platonic (bro) ralbert

genre: straight crack

words: 2529

editing: I was about to say no but I actually did !!

warnings: Race is a raging bromosexual, hot cheetos, danny devito, conspiracy theories, fish are untrustworthy monsters, yaks, lactaid, bros bein bros, albert just wants his pencil back okay

_____

Albert fidgeted in his seat slightly, highly uncomfortable in his priest clothes. Well, okay, they weren’t priest clothes, they were his graduation robes. Except he had bought them a size too big accidentally and they now looked like priest clothes. Race had made fun of him endlessly, even commenting that they should cosplay as priests sometime. Obviously, Albert had flat out refused, but that didn’t stop Race from sending him the occasional Psalm or slightly incorrect Bible passage.

But enough about Albert’s priest clothes. Let’s get back to the matter at hand: graduation.

It was a daunting day for both of them: a relief that they had finally made it and yet also sad because they wouldn’t get to pelt each other with spitballs during psych anymore. High school was where Albert had met Race, all because of a particularly cursed biology lesson during freshman year. It had never been established if Race had been entirely sober during that first exchange. Albert had always claimed that he was hungover at the least. Whatever the case though, Albert felt a smile stretch slowly across his face as the voice of the valedictorian faded into oblivion and he recalled the events of that day…

•••

“-in fact there was a time when people thought that giraffes were just horses who decided they wanted to eat leaves.”

Albert tuned back into the biology lecture he had effectively been ignoring when the blonde kid next to him with the dead fish hair swatted the pencil he was sketching with out of his hand.

“Dude!” Albert whisper screamed. “Give me that back!”

The kid, who was an asshole for stealing his pencil, instead twirled Albert’s pencil thoughtfully. “Nah, you're missing the best part of the lecture! I’m doing you a service!”

Albert rolled his eyes. “Look, people were dumb. It’s not my fault that some idiot 500 years ago thought that a giraffe was a horse in disguise.”

Asshole glared at him sideways in a manner that Albert could only describe as disappointed.

“What?”

Asshole sighed heavily. “Some people don't appreciate the cryptid animals of the world.”

Now it was Albert’s turn to stare disappointedly.

“Okay so like,” asshole’s eyes lit up and he threw Albert’s pencil with such force it landed two rows away from him before bending forward to stare into Albert’s soul, “you know about fish right?”

Albert’s disappointment was beginning to morph into annoyance. Plus he really just wanted his pencil back. “...yes?”

“Okay so essentially, fish aren’t real.”

“Wrong. I have three.”

“They’re government spies!”

“No they’re not! I bought them myself from petco!” Albert considered for a moment. “And besides, one of them is paralyzed.”

“He’s malfunctioning!” Asshole slapped the table so hard that the people in front of him looked back slightly to see what was going on. “It’s a glitch in the system!”

“What? No. He’s just...dying? I guess?” That was actually kind of sad now that Albert thought about it. Maybe he should just euthanize Rudolph…

“No, dude, I’m telling you. Fish aren’t real!”

“And I’m telling you that you're wrong!”

“Look,” asshole was starting to sound exasperated now. “Have you seen a fish since the government shut down?”

“Yes, I literally just said that I have three at home!” Albert leaned down to grab another pencil out of his bag so he could continue drawing. He was about done with this conversation.

Asshole sighed heavily. “You're a horrible person. A non-believer. When your robot fish report you to the government for hoarding all the lactaid for yourself in your basement then I will say I Told You So.”

“First, they’re not robots. Second, I’m not even lactose intolerant?”

“Well.” Asshole paused to pull a bag of hot cheetos out of his bag. “I am. And I fully intend to hoard all the lactaid myself when I take over the world with my seven yaks so you better have a good security system.”

“I’m sorry, what?” Albert paused looking for a pencil to stare at the asshole next to him.

“My master plan to take over the world with seven yaks,” asshole said as if it were the most normal thing in the world.

“And what does that have to do with fish?”

Asshole considered for a moment before pulling off one of his white converse high tops and pointing to his socks that were covered in- wait were those cryptids?

“You see my toes?” Asshole said, wiggling his foot around for emphasis. It was then that Albert began to question whether or not this kid was entirely sober.

“Yes…?”

“They can fuck them. Honestly. Fuck fish and fuck everything they stand for fuck them.”

“Okay.” Albert gave up searching for a pencil, deciding that talking to a potentially high person was more entertaining than doodling shitty flowers in the margins of his notes. “Do you have any other opinions about animals that I should know about?”

Asshole considered for a moment while crunching loudly on his hot cheetos, effectively getting orange spicy dust all over the table and Albert’s notes.

“So, whales,” he said finally.

“What about them?” Albert almost regretted asking.

“They sLap. But also, they’re BIG,” He turned to face Albert, his eyes wide, “and they don't need to be.”

“I mean, they do eat a lot of fish, they have to store it somewhere.”

“They could just, like, shit it out.”

“That would be a lot of shit.” Albert tore a piece of paper out of his notebook and began to fold it into a paper airplane. “Also I’m pretty sure that they already shit, so that doesn’t solve the problem.”

“But they could shit like, POOF!” He threw a small handful of cheetos in the air for emphasis.

Albert stared in confusion at the pile of orange crap now littering the lab table. “You want…..whales…….to have explosive diarrhea…..so that they can be smaller?”

“Yes,” asshole said confidently, beginning to eat the cheetos off of the table.

“That's...interesting.”

Asshole threw a cheeto into his mouth casually. “You know if you made out with a whale technically it would be brushing your teeth.”

Albert turned his head slowly to face the asshole seated next to him. “I’m sorry. What?”

“You heard me.”

“Doesn’t mean I wanted to,” Albert muttered under his breath.

“Also-”

“Oh no.” Albert put his head in his hands.

“Hey! You asked for my animal opinions!”

“That was before I knew they included making out with whales who have explosive diarrhea!”

Asshole threw a hot cheeto at him.

“Fine, fine,” Albert sighed, brushing hot cheeto dust off of his shirt, “let’s hear it.”

“Well, no offense to anyone who actually likes them but kiwi birds are weird and why did they need a fruit named after them and why are they fuzzy and who gave fruits the right to be fuzzy like what the fuck- WAIT-” he flung out his arm so that is wacked Albert in the chest and stared into oblivion as if he had just seen the ghost of shrek, “WHICH CAME FIRST THE BIRD OR THE FRUIT?”

“I don't know?” Albert said unhelpfully.

“God they’re as cryptic as whales,” asshole groaned, all but slamming his head into the table.

Albert chose to ignore the mess of a person next to him and pretend like he was still taking notes, as the teacher had grown suspicious of what was happening in the back of the room and was beginning to eye them. But, Albert still didn't have a pencil so it didn't really work.

“What does a kiwi bird look like anyway?” He asked once the teacher’s eyes were off them.

“Your worst nightmare.” Asshole turned his face on the table so that he was looking at Albert.

“Alright then.”

Albert decided that if he was going to pass this class he better take out a pencil and at least pretend to take some notes. However, after digging a pencil from the very depths of his bag, he discovered that the asshole was still intently staring at him.

“Aren’t you going to take notes?”

“Notes and my brain don't mix well,” asshole said, eating another hot cheeto. Albert wasn't quite sure how there were that many in the bag considering he had thrown at least half of them on the desk. Maybe he was a wizard. “Ask me more questions about animals.”

“Can’t you tell me your name first?”

“You've sat next to me for two months and you don't know my name?” Asshole clicked his tongue disapprovingly. “Tisk tisk Albie.”

“Oh no, you are not allowed to call me that,” Albert groaned. He hated that nickname more than anything. Well, he potentially hated kale more, but only cause it tasted like unwanted veiny leaves.

“I’ll call you whatever I want until your sorry ass learns my name, Albie.” Asshole smirked. “Now, ask me about animals.”

“Alright, uhhh…” Albert’s eyes wandered across the doodle-filled pages of his notebook until they landed on a drawing of a shittly looking smiley face sheep. “Opinions on sheep?”

“I want a sheep,” Asshole whispered wistfully. “They seem fluffy. And precious. Like clouds.”

“Good to know.” Albert doodled a sheep jumping on a cloud. “What about, uh, crickets?”

“Hmmmm. They’re kinda scary.”

“Are they now?”

“Yeah. One time one got stuck in my brother’s dorm room and he was so scared he sent me a snapchat video of him screaming.” He paused to monch another cheeto. “Yeah. Crickets are scary but rubbing your legs together under a blanket as such is nice so crickets make some points I guess.”

“Rubbing your legs together under a blanket?” Albert asked incredulously.

“Yeah like, when it’s 4am and you can't sleep? Have you never done that before?”

“No…?”

“Oh.” Asshole looked disappointed for a minute. “Well, you're missing out bro.”

“Oh so now I’m your bro?”

“Of course, bro. You’re my bro, bro.”

Albert scribbled down a line about Darwin from the board. “Stop saying the word bro.”

“No bro. I gotta let everyone know we’re bros, bro.”

“No bro.” Albrt sighed loudly. “Fuck, now you got me doing it!”

“Isn’t it great bro?” Asshole used his finger to draw a heart in the cheeto dust that was still sitting on his desk. “Bro, look that's us!”

Albert glanced briefly at the cheeto dust. “Isn’t that kinda gay?” he asked, returning to his notes.

“It’s not gay if you have socks on,” Asshole said quickly. “And I definitely have socks on, so we’re good bro.”

Albert stared long and hard at his seatmate.

“Got somethin’ to say, bro?” Asshole smirked.

“Are you high?” Albert finally asked.

“Nah bro. My body is a temple. I only do-” he paused to wink “-brocaine.”

“Okay, that’s it,” Albert said definatively. “Never talk to me again.”

Asshole shrugged and went back to eating his hot cheetos. Albert went back to taking notes, pausing every few minutes to flick cheeto dust off of his paper.

Eventually, the teacher said something about cheetahs and the asshole next to him sighed deeply.

“I wish I could be a cheetah,” he said wistfully. Then he looked down at his bag of cheetos. “Or a cheeto.” Carefully, he pulled one out and inspected it. “Danny DeCheeto.” he decided, popping the cheeto into his mouth and crunching loudly.

Albert burst out laughing. He just couldn’t help himself. There was something about the way that he has said it so bluntly that made him have to laugh at the terrible pun.

“DASILVA!” The teacher, Jeff, who Albert lovingly referred to using his first name because he was a crappy teacher and didn’t deserve formalities, yelled.

“Oh now you’ve don’t it,” asshole whispered excitedly.

Albert elbowed him in the ribs.

“Stop interrupting my lesson with your absolute idiocy! I’d give you detention if I didn’t run it!” Jeff yelled halfheartedly. Albert didn’t particularly care.

“It wasn’t my fault!” he called back. “This kid’s been talking all through your lesson and it’s really distracting!” He pointed at the asshole next to him. “I was really enjoying your lesson on cheetahs!” he added just to be a kiss up. Albert always made it a point to kiss up to teachers who hated him because it just made them hate him more.

“HIGGINS!” Jeff yelled again, this time at his seatmate.

“I’m not on a sports team so that’s not my naaaameee!” he singsoned back, also just to annoy Jeff.

“RACE!” Jeff yelled instead.

“Yeeees?”

“Stop distracting my students who actually want to learn!” Jeff gestures wildly with his hands. “It’s rude! There are some people in here who want to actually hear about cheetahs, not about whatever you’re doing back there with cheeto dust!”

“Terribly sorry!” Asshole, or, Race, called back in a way that was clearly not sorry at all before Jeff returned to his lesson.

“So,” Albert whispered, “Race, huh? I thought I wasn’t allowed to know your name.”

“Oh be quiet Albie.” Race scowled, licking cheeto dust off of his fingers.

“Hey! I told you not to call me that!”

Race pointed a cheeto dust covered finger at him menacingly. “One more word out of you and I’ll have my yaks come lick your eyeballs.”

“You wouldn’t dare,” Albert gasped in fake horror.

“I would,” Race said just as the bell rang.

Albert watched as he swiftly brushed all of his cheeto dust into the floor, scooped up his bag, and gave him a mock salute. “Guess I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“If you bring cheetos I’ll have to steal your socks!” Albert called after him.

As he scrambled to put his stuff away, Albert couldn’t help but think that this was the start of a really good, yet definitely weird, friendship.

•••

Albert was pulled out of his memory by the crowd clapping wildly for the valedictorian. Soon after the student council President was announcing that it was time to move their tassels and then everyone was filing out of the rows back out to behind the field.

From somewhere in the crowd, Race materialized, attacking him in a giant hung.

“WE DID IT BRO!” Race yelled, jumping up and down.

“YEAH BRO!” Albert yelled back.

After a few minutes of celebrating, Albert reached into his pants pocket for the bag of hot cheetos he had stashed there, handing them to Race, who immediately started laughing.

“Do you remember the first time we met in Jeff’s class?” Albert asked. “You were being an asshole and got cheeto dust all over my notes.”

“I remember,” Race smirked. “I was literally talking out of my ass to try and get you to laugh.”

“Well, it worked.”

“Oh yeah, he got so mad at you.” He picked up the bag of cheetos, smirking. “You know, the funny thing is, I don’t even like hot cheetos. They’re too spicy and they make my mouth burn.”

“Why am I not surprised?” Albert chortled.

“But, since they’re a gift from you bro, I’ll cherish them forever.” Race made awkward kissy faces at Albert who shook his head in response.

“That’s gay bro,” he said mock seriously.

“It’s alright,” Race reassures him, winking. “I have socks on.”

________

see I told you it was cursed

hbd b r o (o no I don’t have soccs on :o)

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[zeta-jane]

11 and 37 for the ask meme UWU :)))))))))))))))))))))

Taken from this ask meme (Open)

11 - Soulmates AU and 37 “You’re stuck with me, like it or not.”

Sorry if it didn’t turn out that well, soulmate AUs aren’t exactly my thing, but I tried! And I hope you like it!!

Shoutout to Capri for helping me out with the idea!

–

Yuu glared at the clock, waiting for the seconds to tick by of this annoying, useless class. He didn’t see why he even had to deal with this bullshit anyway, when he should be joining the JIDA and fighting vampires and horsemen.

Whatever, he just had to kill time until he could get out of this place, then he could bitch to Guren about it again later, finally convince him to let Yuu join.

Of course, Guren had always told him he couldn’t join the army without his soulmate, because soulmates were a huge part of what made people stronger. Without a soulmate someone couldn’t be nearly as skilled of a fighter, at least, that was what Guren said, but Yuu didn’t care. He didn’t need some stupid soulmate. He hadn’t found his yet, and he didn’t want to either. Soulmates were dumb and Yuu didn’t ever want one of them to drag him down.

Yuu looked up from his notebook when he heard the teacher call on a student. Some annoying kid called Mika… he had tried to talk to Yuu a few times, but Yuu never cared to listen to him. He didn’t want friends either. People were annoying and stupid. He just wanted to learn to kill vampires, but stupid Guren wouldn’t let him.

Yuu just sighed, trying to block out the droning voice of the teacher and the other students, wishing time would go by faster.

To alleviate his boredom and avoid paying attention to the teacher at all costs, Yuu started scribbling on his arm with his pen. Random doodles at first, but eventually he ended up depicting an entire scene on his arm, a battle waging on between him and the vampires. He lost himself in the drawing, imagining the scene so vividly in his mind. It was like a story playing out.

As Yuu drew, he started to scribble another figure beside him. He didn’t even fully realize what he was drawing, but as his hand moved, there was the unmistakable figure of another boy next to him… small, of course, since Yuu wasn’t working with a very large canvas, but there was something familiar about him…

Something in Yuu’s heart told him the boy was his soulmate… Yuu wondered how he would find his soulmate, if he even had one. They tended to present in loads of different ways. Some had matching marks on their wrists that appeared when they made eye contact for the first time. Some were colourblind all their lives until they saw their soulmates. Some were born with tattoos of their soulmate’s first (or last) words to them. There were countless different ways one’s soulmate could show themself, some rarer than others. Some even had any words written on their arm show up on the arm of their soulmate… wouldn’t that be just precious if that’s what happened to Yuu’s soulmate? Yuu should start drawing a dick on his arm just to spite them.

Wait- why was he even thinking about soulmates? Ugh- there was no way Yuu had one, so it wasn’t worth considering. He shouldn’t have even allowed himself to romanticize the thought, because soulmates were dumb and pointless anyway.

Yuu focused back on his drawing, wanting to make it even gorier than before. He wanted to draw blood… but he knew he didn’t have a red pen. Some colour would make the drawing look so much cooler, but Yuu usually didn’t care enough to bring more than the bare minimum for school supplies.

Just as Yuu started to think, a red pen fell right on top of his notebook. Yuu nearly jumped out of his chair in surprise, his head whipping around to see where it might’ve come from.

The teacher still seemed focused on writing something on the board, her back turned to Yuu… so she didn’t throw the pen at Yuu to get him to pay attention… then where did it come from? He looked around at the other students, but all of them seemed focused on the lesson… except for one.

That student who never seemed to stop trying to befriend Yuu, Mika, was grinning at him. Yuu’s expression twisted even more into one of confusion, but Mika simply winked at Yuu and went back to looking at the board.

Yuu felt his cheeks burn the same colour as the pen, and he stubbornly looked back down at his arm. How the hell did Mika even now he needed a red pen? Hmph, whatever. At least Yuu could add colour to his drawing now.

He spent the rest of the class scribbling away on his arm, and by the time he was done, it looked as though he had a full tattoo sleeve drawn. Yuu had to admit, he was a little proud of how well it turned out.

When the bell rang and students started filing out, Yuu was just adding the finishing touches, and when he finally set his pen down, his hand was aching.

When he looked up, there was a figure standing over his desk with an almost sad smile, one that didn’t look quite right on his usual sunshiney face. “Yuu-chan…” Yuu bristled at the nickname, but Mika continued. “I know you don’t like me, but I have to say something. I can’t just sit back and act like I feel nothing for you… watching from a distance while you remain blissfully ignorant.”

“Mika… what are you talking about?” Yuu asked, narrowing his eyes. He wanted to tell Mika to go away again, but something was holding him back.

It was only when Mika rolled up his sleeve that Yuu realized what it was.

There, on Mika’s left arm, was an identical copy of what Yuu had drawn. It was the same in every way, as though Yuu had drawn it himself… which could only mean one thing.

“I’m sorry, Yuu-chan,” Mika whispered. “But you have to know… it’s wrong of me to keep hiding who I am from you, and knowing who you are to me but forcing myself to stay away… it hurts, and I couldn’t take it anymore.”

Yuu’s eyes were wide with shock, not even knowing how to comprehend what was happening. He was truly and utterly speechless for the first time, but luckily Mika kept talking.

“I know you wish it wasn’t true… but there’s nothing I can do to change it. You’re stuck with me, like it or not… but I want to try and be a good soulmate for you. Could you at least give me a chance?” His tone was hopeful, yet apologetic at the same time… he looked so vulnerable in a strange sort of way, and Yuu almost wanted to pity him.

The emotions starting to form in his chest frightened him, so he shoved them down, instead just narrowing his eyes at Mika. He opened his mouth to reject Mika, but his soulmate interrupted him.

“Please… just let me sit with you at lunch once, or sit with me outside for an hour. Just once, and if you decide you completely hate me you never have to see me again… but please just give me a chance. One is all I need.”

Yuu didn’t want to admit it, but his heart ached for Mika. He wanted to tell his soulmate to fuck off and just stomp out of the room… but he couldn’t. Something inside of Yuu wouldn’t let him, not with Mika trying so desperately, looking so pathetic like that. Instead, Yuu just sighed in defeat. “Fine, one chance, and if I decide you’re annoying or lame, I’m leaving. Also, I’m keeping the pen.”

Mika’s entire face seemed to light up at that, and he practically bounced on his heels. “Thank you, Yuu-chan, I promise you won’t regret it!”

Yuu just rolled his eyes, shoving his notebook in his bag and slinging it over his shoulder. “Whatever,” he muttered. “Let’s go.”

[megansambuca]

A+ Student

I have to thank my beautiful bestie Christy, for giving me her permission to have her briefly in this one shot. Even has a original quote from her beautiful asshole mind. I couldn’t write about high school without throwing my high school bestie in there.

NeganXReader Smut

Walking through my high school hall laughing with my best friend. Teacher’s standing in the hall as usual making sure everyone behaves.

“Oh,” She looked at me a evil look on her face. Looking to what she saw I see him. The hottest teacher I’ve ever seen. He was also super cool insisted we call him Negan and Sir not by his last name.

“Don’t,” I growl nudging her. As we walk by Negan in the hall.

“_____ likes you.” She looks right at him stopping. Catching my bag stopping me from walking.

“Yea, you’re my favorite teacher sir.” Glaring at her, as I blushed.

“Thanks, better hurry along to class. You two,” He accepted my lie. I could see in his eyes he thought what she did was funny.

“Christy!” Trying to sound intimidating, sounding more like a whine. “Way to be obvious you dick.”

“You’re the one who wants the dick.” She elbows me as we walk into our  Foreign Language class. Staring at her my mouth hung open as we sat across from each other. “What you’re eighteen it’s legal.”

“He’s married,” I whisper.

“Like that’s ever stopped anyone before.” She teases, as class starts.

“I can’t believe you.” I roll my eyes knowing shes joking. We finished class going to lunch and after that we would separate until fifth which was Negan’s class. The day went by quickly unfortunately, my fourth period was the art class.  Right across from his and that use to be my favorite thing. Being in there and being able to watch him from behind in the door way doodling. Taking my time leaving art, throwing my bag over my shoulder. Waving to Mr. Funke, as I walked out of the room. Crossing the hall meeting his eyes, I blush looking down thinking to earlier.

“Hello, ____,” He chuckles at me. Sitting at my usual desk two away from the door. His room was set up in a big U of students his desk sitting closer to the door of the side of the U so closer to me. The board next to his desk, and the student desks each about a foot away from each other. I wasn’t a big on history, but he had my full attention. Not only was he in my opinion eye candy. He also had a way of making us laugh making innuendos and jokes. I doodle on my notebook hearing someone sit down next to me. Looking to see Christy a big smirk on her face as looks at me doodling. I had begun drawing Negan, just out of boredom not even thinking about. I flip to the next page.

“I hate you,” Chuckling at her.

“Good, if you didn’t. I’d be disappointed in our friendship.” She laughs as the bell rings. Hearing the door close I turn to Negan.  Looking him over as he began to walk to the board his white button see through. He had a wife beater under it, but I could still see the outline of the muscles throw his shirt. Biting the inside of my lip slightly trying to not change my face.  I look at his sleeves which where rolled up partially seeing his arm hair. Leaning forward resting my elbow on my desk. Placing my hand over my mouth as my eyes looked over his slacks that fitting perfectly. So they weren’t super tight, but they did fit nicely around his bum.  My eyes roaming back up as he turned around he didn’t wear ties leaving the top of his button up undone even if it was just his two buttons. you could see his chest hair slightly. Moving my eyes up more to him as he talked. He had some stubble, around his lips following his nose up to his brown eyes. And then to his slightly greying hair. I sighed, feeling something hit my temple I turn, to Christy then down to the note on the floor. “Accidentally” dropping my pencil I lean down picking up the note.

______ stop drooling, over the teacher jeez.

I look over her glaring,scribbling on the paper.

I’m not dickhead.

Tossing it back, she chuckles writing something. Before handing it to me, I open it.

Uh huh… acting like you wouldn’t jump at the opportunity to take “private lesson’s” with him.

Okay you caught me, but I can’t help he is sexy man.

I go to hand her the note not paying attention. Negan grabs it out of my hand. Before putting it on his desk. Hopefully he doesn’t read it. We continue class the bell rings. I stand ready to leave.

“___, Wait we need to see what was so important you couldn’t wait till after class." My eyes widen looking to Christy see shrugs leaving me. I stand in front of his desk as he sits.

“Um… It’s private. Please don’t,” I say reaching for the note.

“If it was that private you wouldn’t of wrote it on a piece of paper.” He says snatch the note, before I can get it. Reading it, “How old are you?”

“Eighteen,” I state softly.

“Okay,” He nods.” This is a little sexual isn’t it?” He leans forward onto his desk.

“Yes, I’m sorry. Sir,” I begin.

“No,” He interrupts.“Don’t be sorry about what you feel. Can’t help it right? As you put it here, I quote. He is one sexy man.” He lowers his voice.

“I’m still sorry for passing notes, Sir. I shouldn’t have. I should have been of paying attention.“ I look down blushing fidgeting.

“Apology accepted.” He leans back chuckling. “So what have we learned?”

“To pay attention to you- I mean you teaching.” I say quickly, receiving a smirk. “Sir, I’m going to miss my bus.” I say looking to the clock. The buses left in two minutes.

“If you do, I’ll give you a ride.” He states standing up, moving around the desk he hands me the note. He seemed to be enjoying this. Going to leave he stops me.

“See you tomorrow,” He sits back at his desk.

There was no tomorrow they closed the school for a state of emergency. My parents decided to evacuated. For first three years we lived on our own in a small group we found. It all ended when a herd separated us, I manage to climb a tree.The dead surrounded me. I was hoping the would get distracted, anything even if was just long enough for me to run. I already ran out of bullets all I dad was a knife, and there was probably twenty or thirty around the tree. I was up here for three days. When I heard distance voices, I heard people. Looking around not seeing anyone, but if I can hear them they should be able to hear me.

“Help!” Yelling hoping they will hear me. “HELP ME!” I cry out before hearing shooting. The walkers dropped dead one by one under me. Looking down I saw a man balding a mustache on his upper lip.

“You coming down or do you plan on staying up there?” He asked. I nodded turning around climbing down. I heard someone move behind me making sure, I don’t fall as I got closer to the bottom.

“Thank you,” I say turning to him. “I didn’t think I’d ever get down. My name is ____.”

“Simon,” He shook my hand as I reached  it out to him. “Do you have a group?”

“I did, I don’t know if anyone else made it.” Frowning looking back, “A herd came out of no where.”

“Well, why don’t you come with us?” Simon asked,” I’m sure the boss man will like ya.”

“Okay, I mean I don’t have much to lose.” I follow them to trucks hoping into the back of one. Pulling into a large compound they began to unload the trucks. Simon hoped out of his truck talking on the radio.

“Stay right here, the boss is on his way.” Simon says leaving my standing by the truck. Looking at the fence line with walkers on chains.  Hearing feet on gravel, I turn behind me face to face with my old teacher.

“Sir,” My mouth hung open.

“Well, damn. ____” He smirks. Patting me on the back. “Nice to see you kid.”

“You too,” I smile he was still handsome, even more so now. As he stood before me in a leather coat, a bat hung over his shoulder.

“Well, let me give you a tour doll.” He states putting his arm around my shoulder guiding me through the double doors. I instantly blushed all my old lustful feelings returned. “Watch this,” He whispers. Softly walking towards the yellow railing. I follow him seeing everyone kneel when they noticed him. Strangely that made him even more attractive at least to me. He was talking to them, but I was watching his lips move. He turns to me whispering again,” You see that respect. They still on there knees?“ He smirks at me, before his voice rung out through the room again, “As you where.”  I follow him through the facility. He leads me to a very lavish room for this world. Sitting on the couch he pats the seat next to him. Taking the hint I sit next to him. He pours out two glasses of a liquor I’m not sure what kind. Handing me the drink.

“Oh, I don’t-” I start to say.

“Don’t drink? Have you ever even tried?” He looked at me. I shook my head,” Take a taste.” Placing the glass to my lips crinkling my nose at the smell slightly drinking a sip. I swallow it feeling the burn down my throat slightly coughing. He chuckles.

“Why do people like that?” I stick my tongue out.

“It grows on you,” He leans back sipping his. As I set mine on the table.

“This is strange,” Speaking out loud to myself.

“What is?” He ask raising a eyebrow.

“Sitting here with you, My teacher who is giving my booze.” turning my head smirking at him, “Don’t you agree?”

“When you put it like that, maybe.” He leaned forward setting his drink down. “But I think it’s enjoyable ____. I also think you enjoy it too.”

“Yeah, maybe.” I blush as he leaned closer to me. He pushes hair out of my face with his gloved hand. My stomach was doing flips I bit my lip. This can’t be happening.

“What’s that face?” He asked leaning in more. His voice softened the closer he got.

“I-” Unsure what to say,

“Lost for words?” He leaned in more grabbing my chin making me look at him. I was so close to him. His breath warming my face. My mouth opened slightly as I looked at him. I wanted to kiss him this was like a dream. I didn’t ever think I would ever be this close to him. Staring at his eyes hoping he would press his lips to mine, but he abruptly pulled away. Smiling at the disappointment on my face. “Well, ___. Here is how shit goes down here. You have a few choices, One work for points and pay your way, wish your were dead. Two work for me and live on the top of the world, and my personal favorite three be my wife live in luxury.”

“Your wife?” I stammer out.

“Yes, now you will not be the only one of course. I have others,” He leans on the back of his couch. I bite my lip.

“I don’t know.” Furrowing my brow. “I mean, you are a attractive man, but I want to contribute.”

“Contribute you will be to me,” He places his hand on his dick. My eye’s drifted down looking at his hand.

“To the whole compound I mean.” I say,”I will be a savoir.”

“Okay then,” He stands walking towards the door.”Let me show your room.”

“Wait,” I stand looking at him. He turns looking slightly to me.

“Well?” He asked clearly waiting for me to say something.

“I can still contribute to you.” I blurt out desperately. He turned fully to face a crooked smile came on his face.

“Then show me,” he grabs his dick again. Quickly closing the gap between us I kiss him roughly. He wrapped one arm around my back the other grabbed my ass. He pushed me slightly to the bed, following his lead until my legs hit the bed. He pushes me back onto it a smile on his face. “Lets see you darling.” He pulls my shirt off before unclasping my bra. He leaned down kissing my neck. His right hand massaging my breast his left ran over me through my jeans causing me to push into his hand. He trails kisses down my stomach. I feel him undo my jeans pulling the down with my underwear. “Damn your soaked.” I blush attempting to close my legs a little. “No, none of that.“ He pushed my legs apart slightly. He slid his finger over me rubbing my bundle of nerves, before sliding his finger in me. I yelp slightly, “Damn your tight.” I look at him he looks at his finger. “Hold on darling,” He looks up to me. Pulling his finger up showing me the blood on his finger. “Are you a virgin?” I nod not sure what to say. “Well, hot damn. Now I am even more turned on baby. I can’t wait to put my dick in there. Show what it feels like to be fucked.”  He said sliding his finger back in me. Soon his mouth was on me too. I moaned arching my back slightly.

“Oh fuck,” I tried to squirm but he wrapped both arms around my hips hold me closer to his face.  He pulled away leaning up to my face.

“Want a taste?” Before I can answer his mouth was on mine. I push his jacket off as he kissing me. Before I start on his belt, I could feel him rubbing himself on me. When finally he pulled away removing his shirt. I stared running  my hands up his body. It was better then I’ve ever dreamed. He pushes his pants off. Looking down to his length I licked my lips. He pulled me up off the bed pushing me to my knees. Taking the hint I take him into my mouth, not sure what to do I just did what I’ve seen on porn. He did not seem to mind as he grab the back of my head groaning. I look up to him slightly to see him staring at me.

“Fuck, Get up.” He says doing so not sure if I did something wrong. He pushes me back onto the bed. “I need you right now,” Negan grunts as he rubs himself into between my legs. He gently pushes into me and it hurts. I yelp softly, he pushes hair out of my face. “Relax baby, I’m trying to be gentle. You’re so tight and you feel so good.” After a few soft gentle thrusts I let out a soft moan and as if on cue he began going faster. “That’s it,” he groans as I begin to follow his pace with my hips. Soon he starts going harder as deep as he can go. Skin slapping echoed through the room followed by a scream from me.

“Negan!” he leans down kissing me. “Oh fuck Negan,” Into the kiss.

“That’s right,” He whispers into my ear.” Yell louder let the whole world know. I’m fucking your brains out.”

“Yes!” I groan as he hits the right spot everytime my body begin to get tense.

“What’s my name doll?” Still whispering in my ear.

“Negan,”I groan.

“Who do you belong to?” He asked.

“You, Negan oh fuck you.” Digging my hands into his back. He stops pulling away.

“You want me to make you cum?” He pulls out and thrusts back in with a thud pushing my whole body up on the bed.

“Yes,” I pant.

“Yes?” He ask repeating his thrust.

“Yes, Sir. Please Negan make me cum.” I beg, He starts again going agonizingly slow.

“All you have to do ask doll,” He rubs my cheek please with the agonized look on my face.

“Fuck me as hard and as fast as you, Please” I groan out. He slams into me so hard it hurt a little. He continued this until I felt myself surge with pleasure. “Negan!” He smirk still riding me through my orgasm. He continues  until he begins making grunts his face contoured into pleasure.

“I want to cum in you so bad,” He growls in my ear. “Just fill you up.”

“Negan,” I groan as he bite my neck.”Please don’t not inside of me.”

“Get on your knees.” He growls at me pulling out. I listen sliding off the bed. “Open that pretty little mouth of yours.” I obliged he grabs my hair and begins to fuck my mouth soon warm  salty liquid leaks from his member telling me he was about to burst. He pulls out of my mouth holding it open with his thumb.”Stay just like that,” He says rubbing himself until he cums it mostly landing in my mouth some onto my chest. “Damn ain’t that beautiful.” He looks at me a huge toothy smile plastered on his face. As I swallow licking my lips. “I’d say your a A plus student.”

“Well, That all has to do with the teacher.” I say taking my finger wiping cum off my chest and sucking on it.

“You keep that up will be on round two.” His mouth hung open watching me.

“I’d be down for that.” I giggle,” I think I’m hooked now. No getting rid of me.”

“Oh darling I won’t be getting rid of you anytime soon.” He helps me up pulling me into him kissing me softly.

“I even might have to take you up on that wife offer,” I tease pulling away putting me clothes back on.

“The door is open,” He pulls his pants on.

[deepdickdaniel]

Lai Guanlin | Soulmate!AU | Switch

prompt: you switch bodies with your soulmate whenever you feel like it for ten minutes.

note: a beautiful anon requested this! i hope you enjoy! :) and this is dedicated to my everyong fam: my beautiful children and the stars of my life. thank you for putting up with my insanity and i’m blessed to know all of you!

the first time you discovered you could switch bodies with your soulmate, you were in middle school

you were so confused to find yourself in a different classroom, in another country, learning in another language

even when you looked at the name portion of your soulmate’s notebook, it was in different characters so you couldn’t understand

from that point on, every so often, you would switch bodies with your soulmate to try to figure out who he was over the course of a few years

your friends suggested that you find his id to see his face at least

and when you finally did, wow, your soulmate looked like a B A B Y

but judging from the distance of his head to the ground, you gathered that he was tall

you also figured out that he lived in taiwan, which confused you because how were you guys meant to be soulmates if he lived in a completely different country and didn’t even speak the same language as you???

you shrugged it off, deciding that fate would work itself out somehow

eventually you saw his room growing emptier and emptier

it was filled with moving boxes at first and then those disappeared after a while, too

you wondered where he was moving to, because even with his family talking to him, you couldn’t make out any of the words

then one day, you switched bodies to find yourself in the airport, waiting at a gate for a flight

you looked up and saw south korea in big, bold letters - your heart stopped

ooh my goodness, he was finding his way to you

you didn’t switch with him for a while after that, not wanting to know exactly where he lived and lowkey wanting to be surprised

one day, during the new school year, your homeroom got a new student

“class, this is lai guanlin from taipei”

you didn’t know why, but your heart stopped hearing that name - maybe it was just a coincidence that the new guy came from taipei, too?

that was until you looked up and saw the face that resembled the one in the ID of your soulmate

but this guy...he was manlier...was the picture on his id old or something???

he finally looked up from his shy stare at the floor to share eye contact with you and suddenly he grew more confident

“what’s up guys, it’s guanlin, i really want to be a swaggy rapper in the future because i like hip hop” lmao i am so not sorry

you almost died on the inside - was this mess really your soulmate?

“oh and i like basketball, too, it’s nice to meet you guys”

he was quiet in speaking his newly acquired language, but he looked happy to be there nevertheless

and by the blush of his cheeks and the gumminess of his smile, you knew he recognized you, too

the teacher told him he could sit in any empty seat he wanted to

but get this, he walked over to the seat next to you which was taken and kindly asked the person if he could sit there instead

luckily, it was your best friend, daehwi, who has known since the beginning of time about your taiwanese soulmate

he practically j u m p ed out of his seat, offering it up with jazz hands and moving to sit next to the love of his life (jinyoung of course)

guanlin happily sat next to you and proceeded to stare for the rest of the period

you guys traded a few playful whispers throughout class and it was truly unbelievable that you acted like you knew each other for your whole lives

he followed you to lunch like a lost puppy and there, you introduced him to your friends

you were surprised to find out that he was actually quite shy and quiet around other people

“i feel really comfortable and at home with you, so that’s why i was myself right away” he had admitted

your heart mel---

“and you’re stuck with me for the rest of your life so you can’t make fun of my broken words or else i’ll make fun of your baby pictures”

“how did you---”

“someone always switched bodies while we were at home, sooo”

why was your soulmate such a savage?

but you guys went from friends to lovers really quickly, developing a close bond that even your upperclassmen friends were impressed to see happen so fast between soulmates

guanlin fit in well with your friends, even to the point that made you wonder if his soulmate was jihoon or you

after about half a year, he set in nicely and even became the star player of the basketball team

you hated how handsome he looked when he threw in a three pointer with one hand, smirking at you in the bleachers

but you loved how he ran to you first after the final buzzer of a winning game, scooping you up into a hug and giving you his gummy smile despite the crowd surrounding him

one time, though, you switched bodies with guanlin during a basketball game for fun - causing his team to put him on the bench because their star player wasn’t doing his best like normal

he had to do extra laps haha

to get his revenge, he switched bodies with you during a midterm and you wanted to kill him because when you returned to your body, you saw your test 

(you would’ve failed if the switching bodies lasted any more than ten minutes)

you wanted to kill him more because you found out he wasn’t even truly trying to get revenge, he was just bored in his own class lmao

you got your test back - thankfully, you passed - but your teacher told you not to doodle anymore, smirking at you

not really understanding, you turned the test around to see the back covered with small little shapes and drawings

there were a few small hearts and words of good luck

and in the middle of it all was an “i love you!” written inside a circle

you were surprised - you hadn’t exchanged those three words yet, but here guanlin, the tsundere, was being soft and sweet

you ran out of class to find him and say it back, but he was already waiting outside

“i love you too!”

he smiled and hugged you, “i know you do”

“how could i not love my swaggy rapper?”

his smile dropped, 

“ok i take it back, let’s break up”

“nope, you’re stuck with me for life”

[armmotorsports]

Surviving a Road Trip with the Children

The summer holidays are most certainly coming. Together with your partner as your only support you are planning one of the most difficult missions. Deploying a successful road trip taking the kids somewhere – without arguments, annoyance or simply stopping the car and throttling your little cherubs.

It doesn’t take Super-Nanny to work out that children generally become unhappy because of three reasons. They are either tired, hungry or bored – or any combination of the three. Can you manage to navigate the road trip, arriving at your destination on time, whilst keeping these three vital factors in check?

To help you on this near impossible mission we haven’t got Tom Cruise. Instead we have put together our secret agent styled parenting road trips, so you can handle the little whingers like a high grade ninja.

Every Good Boy Scout Knows…

You can’t be those god-awful parents who preach a gospel of preparation to your kids, put them into the cubs or brownies and then fail to come up with the right stuff when it matters most.

Keeping little minds occupied for car trips is all about preparation. It’s not only you and your sanity you need to consider here, as your precious ones need looking after and you can’t simply get by on hobbling in the rain to the nearest pub if you break down or run out of petrol.

Make sure that you have covered the following points before you even sit down in your car and close the doors:

Emergency gear – the standard stuff that should be in the car. High visibility jackets, waters, a flash-light, chocolate, spare phone. Everything you need to get you out a tight situation.

Service and support – has the car had a full service recently? Have you made sure all the tyres are fully pumped and that all the oil and other fluids are properly topped up? And of course is the contract with the RAC or AA still up to date?

Weather Check – you may want to stay at home if there’s going to be torrential rain on the roads, or take extra water if you’ve chosen to sit in the car on the hottest day of the year.

Everyone Rests – get a good night’s sleep before the big journey. This goes for both you and the children as being well rested will reduce in journey stress. Unless of course you are planning on driving through the night in which case it’s important that you have managed your sleep cycle successfully.

Child Friendly – if you do want to stop off at restaurants or eateries along the way, make sure they have the facilities to deal with younger children or if the option is there, go for stops with play parks or child activity areas.

Don’t Leave Home Without It – Your “stop what you’re doing or else face” – that you have practiced sufficiently in the mirror.

Proper Planning Prevents…

Every mission needs a good plan. It’s often in the organisational room that success or failure is first established. Get things right on paper and it’s generally a breeze. So what are our top tips for this vital stage in your operation?

The Best Time – choose a time when the roads are likely to be empty, especially if you have to navigate tricky urban estates or inner city avenues.

Plan for Stops – find some good places to stop and stretch along the way. Factor in extra time for exploration and remember that children will generally want to go to the toilet about 20 minutes after you stop for lunch.

Pick Somewhere Interesting – if you can combine car journeys with education, why not? Stop at a castle or an area of beauty on the way and sneak a little learning into those young minds.

Don’t Leave Home Without It – we could say a SatNav, but that’s all a bit too obvious. But what about when it doesn’t work? This is when an old school map is a real godsend.

Packing

Keep the essentials well within reach. Try to think of everything you’ll need in the car from books through to bottled water and make sure they are properly stashed for full deployment at the key stages of your long distance mission.

Having the right kit to hand in seconds can avert any emergencies, no matter how hopeless the situation may seem. It’s also good to keep outside gear like jackets in the front of the car in case the weather changes.

Don’t Leave Home Without It – wet wipes will hide a multitude of sins, but remember to have a bag for used wipes and other bits of rubbish. Keeping all the waste in one area will make for a simpler and less frustrating journey.

Food for Thought

Save food, snacks and sweets for emergencies, or ration out bite-sized pieces of chocolate or individual treats for convenience when the sugar levels are getting low. You hear a few horror stories of children choking on bigger snacks in the back of the car, so try to keep the bigger foodstuffs for stops.

Don’t Leave Home Without It – yes, giving your children a drink, especially in the heat, will keep the car cool in more ways than one. The smart money however goes on non-spill cups that will protect your upholstery from all kinds of spills.

A Comforting Touch

One of the key factors in managing behaviour is making sure your children are comfortable. Have all their favourite things around them from the magical blanket to favourite teddy bears and dolls to give them that relaxed feeling of the familiar.

Tissues and towels can help deal with spillages and keep a paper bag at hand for travel sickness as the wide opening will work better at catching fluids when compared to the classic carrier bag. Blankets are great for night journeys and a change of clothes, especially for little children will aid a quick recovery from any kind of accident.

Don’t Leave Home Without It – pillows are great for when the kids can’t get to sleep because of the uncomfortable car seat set up. Simply give them a pillow for reclining purposes and its problem solved.

Entertainment

These days there are so many materials and mediums you can use to keep your children occupied and amused, we thought we’d give you a number of key areas:

Back to the Old School

These are the classics. The things that rocked your world as a kid on a car journey will probably still work now. Consider the following:

Books – from individual picture books and stories through to a longer story book that you can read out for all the kids. Individual reading can also aid sleep.

Notebooks and pencils – let the children doodle and draw, but beware the permanent pens and go for coloured crayons or pencils instead.

Word searches – and other types of puzzle books are good when the energy levels drop, giving each child the chance to go at their own speed and disappear into thought.

Group Games – you must know these. Staples like I-Spy, count the red cars, license plate bingo, 20 questions and pirates can keep spirits high with everyone talking.

Music – leave the esoteric 1990s mixtape of Jump Up Drum N Bass where it belongs and find some fun, child friendly tunes giving everyone a chance for a sing-a-long.  

Radio 4 – is often surprisingly soothing for little red faces and can often calm down everyone in the vehicle. Including mum and dad.

Don’t Leave Home Without It: a school homework book. Not to actually make them do homework, but to use as a threat to make the other activities more compelling.

Futuristic Fun

Whilst Steve Jobs might not have liked to let his children use tablets, he probably had au pairs to entertain those little faces on long car journeys. For the rest of us the following items could well be a godsend:

Audio Books – saving you the trouble of having to tell a story – and you might even find something that’s truly fun for all the family.

Computer Games – whether you’re using the smartphone or the tablet, games and fun apps can keep everyone interested and alert during the journey.

DVDs – dust down that collection of old DVDs in the attic and get out the laptop and the children can have their own cinematic show in the back of the car.

Headphones – allow each child to immerse themselves in their own realm of entertainment with headphones. You might have to shout a little when you want their attention.

Don’t Leave Home Without It: chargers. If you are going to rely on gizmos and gadgets for entertainment and the power runs out, your screenagers may well turn back into screamagers.

In Case of Emergency

No one wants the worst to happen when you’re out on the road, but that doesn’t mean that all accidents and prangs are avoidable. If something untoward should happen your first move should be to give the kids a cuddle and hold them. This will cure most things, but the following tips could help:

Ride It Out – let the crying stop and the children will right themselves, as long as they are not choking on a door handle that they have just detached and attempted to swallow

Stop at the Side of the Road – and everyone can calm down and take the time for a toilet break. Be prepared with toilet paper so that every type of eventuality can be accounted for.

Make a Game Out of It – should something bad happen and your children are very little then making a game out of things can stop them from becoming scared or traumatic.

Don’t Leave Home Without It: a special treat in case everything goes wrong to take young minds off the difficulties – whether it be a traffic jam or a mechanical blow out.

And Finally

Of course the most important thing is for you to go with the flow. Remember the journey will be over soon and you don’t have to shout and get angry and be right all the time in such a confined space. Knowing what to let go and when to put your foot down is the key.

And finally let the world do the work sometimes. There’s loads of brilliant and beautiful sights out there and your kids should be reminded of particular spots of interest and historical importance.

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