#and tbh I'd rather do most of them alone | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

whatdoidosatoru · 7 months ago

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lost souls (ran haitani x reader)

pairing: best friend!ran haitani x reader wc: 8.8k ao3 i always use first person, sorry if that's a bit weird, but i'd rather shoot myself than write in second person. also there's no use of y/n. you're welcome. tags: soulmate behaviour, fluff, eventual smut, a bit of sexual harassment (creep in a club), hanma being a menace, shion being a lil weirdo, izana kurokawa, insane amounts of flirting, oral sex (f receiving), fingering, missionary position, unprotected sex, creampie, actually very vanilla sex tbh, but they're cute to me

MINORS PLEASE FUCK OFF! 18+!!

When your best friend invites you to the club with the promise of free drinks, it wouldn’t be very wise to decline. He was a bit disappointed as I was running late, but he wasn’t making a fuss. He understood me better than anyone and knew I needed time to prepare for the amount of socialising I’d inevitably have to do..especially since he entertained a lot of people.

Ran Haitani was lounging around the VIP area with two women in his arms and at least one drink in hand, waiting for me.

When I’d finally got ready, I made my way to the club, freezing my ass off in the shortest, tightest dress I could find in my wardrobe. Now that I got here, I realised it was showing too much thigh and it had a stupid, stupid neckline.

I made a quick stop at the bar to get a few drinks to warm up before locating Ran. A large hand waved at the bartender to put my drinks on his tab, and the face accompanying the hand wasn’t too bad to look at, but I politely explained that I was meeting up with someone.

He didn’t like the sound of rejection, instead, he tried to get me to sit on his lap. I struggled against him, and nobody around me was willing to step in and help.

“Hey buddy, leave her alone.” Ran sauntered over, making the creep at the bar back away immediately as he recognised who was commanding him. Ran then turned to me, and, with a caring expression on his face, looked me over to see how I was feeling.

“Are you okay?”

I let my hands wander over Ran’s body possessively to scare off any potential assholes that could want to try the same shit with me. He let me do this because it wasn’t our first rodeo, he had, unfortunately, had to swoop in to save me from multiple situations much like the one that had just unfolded. I looked up at my saviour with a wide smile.

“Cheers, Ran. Just in time.”

Ran chuckled softly, enjoying the feel of my hands on his body. He knew I needed him and he was more than ready to help me. We clinked our glasses and he raised an eyebrow playfully.

“Always saving the day, aren’t I?” He took a sip of his drink, watching me intently over the rim of his glass.

I smirked as I looked up at him, my hand withdrawing from his chest.

“My knight in shining gang uniform. How’s the night been going without me?”

Ran laughed, seemingly enjoying the nickname. Despite having a great time partying with his friends earlier, he couldn’t help but feel like something was missing without me around. He leaned down close to my ear and whispered,

“It’s always better when you show up.” He gently brushed some stray strands of hair behind my ear and added, “But I managed to have fun nonetheless.”

With a mischievous glint in his eye he continued, “Now that you’re here, though…let me introduce you to these lovely ladies I met tonight.”

He gestured towards the two women who had been sitting beside him in the VIP lounge.

I approached the women enthusiastically, sitting right next to them. I could tell they were wondering who the hell I was, and if I was there to chase after influential men and use their influence for my gain. While I respected the grind, most of those men were absolute bastards and dealing with them was a fucking pain and a full-time job. But my best friend was not one of those men.

I introduced myself to the women and started a conversation.

“...I’m Ran’s best friend, yeah. Oh, by the way, I love your lipstick, you have to tell me what shade that is…”

The conversation was casual and Ran sat across from us, observing over his drink. He watched me effortlessly charm these two women, making them feel comfortable and appreciated. He couldn’t help but smile proudly at my ability to connect with people easily. As the conversation flowed smoothly, he noticed one of the women discreetly slipping her phone number onto a napkin and sliding it towards me.

Feeling slightly amused by this turn of events, he leaned back in his chair and took another sip of his drink, waiting for my reaction. I put the napkin into my purse, exchanging a wink with the woman. I kept chatting with them, getting warmer in my too-tight, too-short dress and I could feel the VIP waiters appreciating the hug it had on my curves with their lingering eyes. I winked at one of the waiters who immediately grinned and came over to offer me a drink.

Ran observed the scene as it unfolded before him, feeling a mix of amusement and pride. He knew I was enjoying myself and that was enough to make him happy. As the waiter handed me the drink, Ran caught his eye briefly and gave him a subtle nod of approval.

Despite being surrounded by attractive women vying for his attention, Ran remained focused on the conversation with the two ladies from before. However, he couldn’t help but steal glances at me throughout the evening, admiring my charm from afar.

I ended up getting up and dancing in the corner with the woman who gave me her number. Luckily for me, I had decided against heels tonight and instead wore my platform Vans. They dressed down any fancy outfit, but not enough to stop the attention being poured over me. They did, however, make me shorter than anyone else in the room, especially Ran. So it was comical to see him join us for a dance, seeing the height difference between us. He always thought it was cute, but in comparison with the other women who came up to us, I felt physically out of place.

The waiter came back with another drink so I took it and put the straw into my mouth to bite it before taking a sip. Seeing that, Ran playfully suggested that maybe it was time for someone else to have a turn serving us. Looking directly at the waiter, Ran challenged him,

“My best friend over here seems like she needs an experienced partner to keep up with her moves.”

By the time the poor man overcame his shock at the challenge, Ran’s gaze had already found mine and he extended his hand in an invite.

“Shall we show them how it’s done?”

I loved seeing this side of Ran, so I put on my finest grin and took his hand, letting him twirl me multiple times in a row before snatching me mid-spin and dipping me so everything around me was upside-down. My choice of footwear allowed for more movement, even if the dress restricted me. Ran picked me back up and slid a hand down my side, squeezing my thigh slightly.

“People are watching,” I said with a giggle.

“Let them,” he whispered, shaking his head.

With that, he grabbed my hips and led the dance. As he spun me around the dance floor, he couldn’t help but feel a sense of exhilaration. My infectious laughter, paired with energetic movements, only fueled his desire to impress me further. As people began to watch in awe, he simply tightened his grip on my waist and continued leading the dance with confidence.

When the song ended, Ran pulled away slightly but maintained contact through gentle touches along my arms and sides. He took hold of my hand once again and led me back to our table where the two ladies were eagerly awaiting our return.

One of the ladies leaned in to whisper something in my ear, to which I chuckled and kissed her on the cheek. I sat next to her and kept chatting, seeing the other woman trying to grab Ran’s attention and the waiter standing around awkwardly, making it obvious that he was trying to get a chance to be near me. I glanced at Ran, but his eyes were already on me, and in that moment I was reminded of all the amazing times we had had together until now.

Running off from his gang meetings only to hide when his brother went looking for us. Running around our neighbourhood in the rain without umbrellas. Impromptu karaoke sessions, both at his apartment and in karaoke bars, singing along to What’s New Scooby Doo together. Cooking elaborate ramen soups at two in the morning with only half the ingredients from the recipes, but with all the enthusiasm. He really was my soulmate, my other half, my best friend in the entire world.

I gave him a grin, fixed my dress, and looked back at the woman puffing her chest in front of me.

Ran watched as I engaged in conversation with her, other people’s attempts to gain his attention gone unnoticed. Despite being surrounded by beautiful women and potential romantic interests, he couldn’t help but feel a deep connection with me - one that transcended mere friendship or physical attraction.

There was a commotion as another man entered the VIP lounge, one of Ran’s gang buddies, whose eyes fell on the gathering we had going on and his lips stretched into an excited grin. He sat down next to me, seemingly not recognising me, and put his arm around me, pulling me closer despite my raised eyebrow at his sudden closeness.

Ran noticed the way this man’s hand possessively rested around my waist and he couldn’t help but feel a surge of protectiveness rise within him. Although he trusted most of his friends, there was still an underlying sense of territorial instinct that kicked in whenever someone encroached upon my personal space.

So he did the only thing he saw fit at the moment - he moved closer to me on the other side - effectively sandwiching me between them both. This move wasn’t necessarily meant to be a challenge or a confrontation. Rather, it served as a subtle reminder that, while others might try to vie for my attention, there would always be someone who knew how special I was, someone I always went back to.

I rolled my eyes at the other man pulling me closer to him, the woman had already up and left the couch to sit down next to her friend on the other side as Ran replaced her next to me. I placed my bare legs over Ran’s lap, leaning slightly into the other man’s embrace.

“Shion, didn’t anyone ever tell you to ask before putting your hands on other people?”

I teased him, but I put all the power I could into my voice. His eyebrows furrowed before his eyes widened in shock. He stumbled over his words, but still didn’t withdraw his hand from me as he muttered,

“Shit sorry I didn’t recognise you!”

I giggled and leaned into his side some more, my legs still resting over Ran’s lap, his hands sliding up and down them.

“Well, Shion, how about you let me go now, hm?”

Ran watched the scene unfold with a mixture of amusement and concern. He knew Shion well enough to understand that his intentions were likely harmless, but he also recognised the importance of respecting boundaries - especially when it came to someone as important to him as me.

As I gently scolded Shion for his lack of tact, Ran felt a swell of pride at my assertiveness and composure in handling the situation. Despite feeling somewhat territorial over me, he remained calm and collected, trusting that I would handle myself accordingly. With a reassuring squeeze on my thigh, Ran offered an encouraging smile before speaking up.

“Hey bud, maybe give her some space? She seems pretty comfortable right here next to me anyway.”

I pushed myself off Shion’s chest and met Ran’s forehead against mine in a gentle gesture of the bond we shared.

“Listen to your friend, Shion. And next time - if you get a next time - ask before touching me, ‘kay?” I said that with my most polite smile, but he knew I meant business.

He moved to the other couch to give the other women some attention, even though one of them kept her gaze on me the entire time. The waiter stood there awkwardly, watching as I pushed myself up onto Ran’s lap and leaned into his chest, his hands immediately resting on my thighs and mine on his back from where I winked at the waiter just to get him flustered.

Ran was savouring the warmth and familiarity of my embrace and, in moments like these, he was reminded why he cherished our friendship above all else. Despite the chaos surrounding us in the VIP lounge, there was a sense of peace and tranquillity whenever we were together.

I called over the waiter and took his notepad, writing down my order, following it with a little heart and an apology for all our behaviours tonight. I knew he must’ve been insanely nervous dealing with Tenjiku gang members, especially two of the Four Heavenly Kings. As soon as I finished writing, I flashed him a smile, and he left for the bar to give the bartender our order.

As he left, Hanma’s tall figure walked up to the lounge and approached the couch where Ran and I were sitting, situating himself where Shion had been sitting next to me.

I rolled my eyes at his closeness, but I didn’t mind him too much, we had our banter. Hanma leaned in to place a kiss on my cheek and I pinched his left cheek with my fingers. His hand went to my shoulder and started pulling my body down to lie on my back and place my head on his lap. I let it happen as his tattooed hands started stroking my hair soothingly.

Ran observed this interaction with a mix of curiosity and amusement. While he knew that my relationship with each member of their gang was unique, it was always interesting for him to see how all these different personalities interacted when in such close proximity.

When Hanma kissed my cheek, Ran felt a pang of jealousy, not because he wanted to claim ownership over me, but rather due to the fact that he wished he could offer the same level of comfort and intimacy with no strings attached.

Shion returned to Ran’s side and they struck up a casual conversation. It was clear that, despite all the chaos surrounding them tonight, these men still found solace in each other’s company, united by loyalty and camaraderie amidst a sea of strangers vying for their attention.

One of Hanma’s hands went through my hair while the other tentatively touched my thigh. It took exactly one raised eyebrow from me to make him reconsider this move, immediately pulling his hand off my thigh and offering me an apologetic smile as the strokes on my hair continued. He knew my limits with him, even though he regularly liked to test them.

The women on the other couch seemed engrossed in the situation unfolding in front of their eyes. How did this random girl in a too-tight, too-short dress and fucking Vans, for crying out loud, have these three powerful and dangerous men dancing to her tune and wrapped around her finger?

I lifted my head to whisper into Hanma’s ear, something that made him grin wider than before as he stood up and, pressing another kiss into my cheek, maybe a little too close to my lips for my liking, went over to the other couch, sitting in the middle and letting the women flock to him with a grateful smile directed at me.

I sat up in Ran’s lap once again and leaned into his chest, continuing the cuddle we had had going on before Hanma arrived. I could tell by his breathing that my attention being directed at him once more made him relax as his arms wrapped around my waist like he was holding onto a lifeline amid a storm.

Shion walked over to Ran and spoke to him in a hushed voice, by the tension in Ran’s body I could tell it was work-related. My ears twitched at the exchange, but it was none of my business until he made it my business to take part in any of their gang bullshit.

I had only taken part in two of their missions, both times as eye candy for some of their rivals or partners who had a weakness for women of my body type and liked to extend their welcome to a few wandering looks and touches. After both of those missions, Ran would spend a whole day with me and under me, lying on his bed wrapped up in each other, with him apologising profusely, nearly scraping the floor with the depth of his bow, almost sobbing with guilt at how the other men had approached me, even though I had willingly chosen to take part in the mission.

I placed a kiss on his neck to signal I was there for him; despite the closeness of my entire body on his lap, I liked reminding him of my presence with gentle kisses to his neck. Shion glanced at the exchange and raised his eyebrow, to which I just smirked mischievously. Hanma was enjoying himself with all the attention he was receiving on the couch, though I couldn’t help but call out to him to remind him of manners.

“Remember to be respectful, Shuji, unless you want me to come over there and teach you another lesson.”

I said that with a joking threat, but if he was good at anything, it was turning anything I said out loud into a joke for himself.

“Oh, you know I’d love nothing more than for you to…teach me another lesson.” He followed with a wink in my direction so I let out a hearty laugh at his boldness.

Despite the lighthearted nature of my interactions with the other gang members, Ran knew better than to underestimate the depth of my loyalty and commitment to those closest to me - especially him. He couldn’t help himself so he let out a deep chuckle at the wave of pride that washed over him at noticing how nobody really dared cross the line with me once I had drawn it.

Ran Haitani silently vowed once again never to let anything jeopardize what truly mattered most: protecting those who meant everything to him - starting with me.

I nestled myself closer in Ran’s lap while he exchanged playful banter with Shion, showing everyone who my number one was - everything else came after him.

As Hanma made the other women laugh while they examined his tattooed hands with awe across the glass coffee table, more people filed into the VIP lounge. Most notably, Izana Kurokawa, the Tenjiku leader. All three men in my company immediately stood up and bowed, I slid off Ran’s lap, but he held onto my hand and squeezed it in apology for the abrupt dismissal at the arrival of their boss. Izana dismissed them to sit back down and nodded at me, in exchange for a bright smile on my face.

He beckoned me to join him at the booth in the corner of the lounge and I nodded, rubbing Ran’s hand with my thumb as I broke contact to join their leader.

I sat next to him like he asked, knowing better than to challenge him. He indulged in small talk with me, like he often did, asking me about my day and telling me about the delicious food he had eaten that day.

I complimented the way his hair fell forward today and fixed a few flyaways with a gentle touch to which he gratefully smiled, tilting his head to the side as his earrings clicked while he did so.

He leaned in to kiss my cheek, a lot more polite than Hanma did. I rubbed his arm to show my appreciation for his wanting to spend a little time with me, our conversations always brought him a sense of normality in his very abnormal life where everyone expected something from him.

I stood up from the booth and sauntered over to Ran once again as the waiter brought Izana his drink, I pulled Ran to his feet and dragged him to the dance floor again.

As the music played its hypnotic rhythm, he effortlessly matched my pace step-for-step, allowing both physical proximity and emotional vulnerability between us without reservation or hesitation. Our world revolved solely around this fleeting moment suspended in time - a temporary sanctuary from reality, where all worries melted away under the weightless pressure of love and companionship.

We danced oblivious to everything except for the steady beat resonating through our beings, our hearts beating as one in perfect harmony.

As the beat changed into one more energetic than the last, we shared a wide-eyed look, recognising the song. It was one of the modern pop songs with a very catchy tune, but instead of dancing accordingly to it, we had made it a tradition to always slow dance to it. Ran jokingly bowed at the waist and extended a hand to me with sweet words.

“My lady?”

To that I curtsied and took his hand with an exaggerated, high-pitched voice.

“Don’t mind if I do, kind sir.”

He pulled me into his chest and we stood embraced, closer than some would think physically possible, swaying out of rhythm completely, along to some music only playing in our two minds. Our tradition made Shion and Hanma audibly groan and roll their eyes, Hanma exclaiming, “Here they fucking go again, I swear if I have to see…”

The rest of his annoyance completely blended with the noise around us, nothing else existed apart from us. The women in the lounge and Izana looked at us with pleasant smiles, appreciating the gentle gesture they saw before them as there were far too few of those in the world.

And so we swayed gently out of sync with the rhythm pulsating around us. As the song ended, we pulled back a little, smiling at each other. Ran placed a soft kiss on my forehead. Hanma booed from the corner of the room, making me shout back, not moving my head from Ran’s chest.

“Shuji if I hear one more sentence out of your damn mouth that doesn’t end in ‘my queen’ I will step on you!”

I fixed him with a stare, but in true Hanma fashion, he switched to a cocky smile and retorted.

“How did you know I wanted you to step on me…”

When Ran raised an eyebrow at him he finished the sentence.

“...my queen.”

I rolled my eyes at him and went up to the waiter.

“What’s a girl gotta do to get some fries in here?”

I flashed him a polite smile. I could tell he was nervous, even more so than before, since Izana showed up, sitting in his booth and drinking wine from a pint glass, scrolling on his phone and ignoring a million notifications he was receiving. The waiter winked at me and with a smile disappeared into the kitchen to ask the staff there for fries and some ketchup on the side.

When he brought me the fries, I blew him a kiss and sat at the bar on the high stools, taking one bite at a time, savouring the crispy exterior and the softness of the interior of each individual fry. Hanma walked up behind me and hugged me tight, apologising for taunting me earlier. I smiled up at his towering figure and pushed his face away from mine as he got too close, but kept our playful banter. He grabbed a few fries from the bowl in front of me and gave me a kiss on the forehead before leaving me to enjoy my food.

The ladies from before came up to me from both sides with wide eyes.

“Girl…how?!”

They wanted to know how I got all these men in the palm of my hand. How even Izana, the notorious Tenjiku leader himself asked for my company, allowed me to touch his hair, smiled all friendly, and thanked me for indulging in small talk with him. I shrugged and explained that I had been lucky to be in the right place at the right time to meet Ran, everything else came with the inexplicable bond we shared. I told them that they needed one good person on their side, someone to support them as I had the freedom to make myself cold to handle anyone else with the firmness they deserved.

To emphasize my point I motioned Hanma over to join me. When he sat next to me, smiling, I leaned in as if I was going to whisper into his ear, but I just hiccuped, covered my mouth and started laughing with him. He tried tousling my hair, but I stopped his large hand from approaching and pushed it away. He stood up, hugged me tight, and muttered.

“Just using me for your own entertainment…I see how it is.”

With that, he left me alone with the women, their jaws nearly slacked open.

As the laughter subsided from the bar, Ran felt a sense of satisfaction bubbling within him at witnessing my easygoing rapport with not only his fellow gang members but also complete strangers who had found themselves drawn to my presence. Despite my constant casual dismissal of my own abilities to navigate this world, chalking it up to sheer luck, there was something he found undeniably captivating about the way I carried myself around others - a quiet confidence that spoke volumes without a single utterance.

It wasn’t long before Hanma rejoined the group, still reeling from my playful antics earlier on, but instead of appearing annoyed or frustrated by my teasing, he simply accepted it as part and parcel of being in my close proximity.

We continued conversing late into the night - sharing stories, trading jokes, and cementing bonds that ran deeper than most could ever comprehend.

As I made my way through the fries, Ran sat down next to me, causing a big smile to appear on my face, the one reserved for his presence only. He picked up a fry and we touched them together, a toast of some kind. We bit the tops of our respective fries and then we switched hands to feed the rest to each other.

He told me the plans for the next mission, begging me not to ask Izana to make me part of it since it might require a feminine touch to succeed. Ran was hoping to avoid my involvement again, he’d rather me not have to deal with people touching me, even if the mission could be jeopardised.

I reassured him I would only accept if there was no other way of doing it, and he seemed okay enough with that promise.

When we finished the portion of fries, we transferred back to the couch, settling comfortably into plush cushions, my body in his lap. I snuggled into his chest, my lips trailing his neck in reassuring gestures.

I inevitably felt the tiredness of spending the whole day on my feet as the energy expelled at the club enveloped me. Ran immediately noticed and got me off his lap to stand up. He picked up my purse and, with his hand on the small of my back, led me to the exit, stopping only to explain to Shion that he was taking me home.

As we were making our way to the exit, I noticed that guy who had harassed me at the bar at the beginning of the night - he was now trying to touch up another woman who didn’t seem too keen on keeping him company. Ran followed my line of sight and noticed what I was frowning at. He made his way towards the man who stopped his wandering hands at the sight of Ran’s kind face, sometimes genuine, sometimes hiding the absolute boiling rage inside him.

Ran picked up the man’s hand and snapped it backwards, breaking his wrist. He turned to the woman and apologised she had to witness that, wishing her a better continuation of the night as he made his way back to me, flinging an arm around my shoulder and cackling along with me as we walked out into the cold night air.

When we reached Ran’s car, he opened the door for me before going to the driver’s side. He let me pick the music for our ride to his apartment. By now it was an unspoken rule that I sleep over at his place on Friday nights after we go clubbing. Neither one of us wanted to be out without one another any longer than necessary, so it was only logical that we go home together.

I put my favourite song on for the ride, both of us belting out the lyrics as Ran drove through almost nonexistent traffic at this time of night. We shared an unbreakable connection forged through countless nights spent navigating Tokyo's vibrant club scene side by side. And while neither of us had ever explicitly stated it out loud, there was no denying the fact that we cherished these peaceful interludes just as much as (if not more than) the wild parties themselves.

As we arrived at the garage, Ran leaned over the console to give me a kiss on the forehead before swinging out of the car and nearly running over to my side to open the door for me. We walked up to his apartment where I immediately went into the bathroom, grabbing the basket with my skincare items to take off my makeup and cleanse my face.

I emerged from the bathroom and noticed that Ran had made us cups of tea with honey - another thing we often indulged in after nights out. I usually picked hibiscus while he drank green tea.

He had already got himself comfortable, changing into his pyjamas which consisted of nothing but old sweatpants that I had bought him when he stayed over at my place for the first time ever. I revisited that memory fondly, taking in his naked torso, his tattoo visible in all its glory.

I took the pot of moisturiser from the basket of toiletries and brought it over to him. I was the designated person to keep his tattoo vibrant and moisturised by slathering it in moisturiser about once a week. I took my role very seriously.

We walked over to the couch, where I pulled my dress off, with his help, and threw it into his bedroom through the door that had been left slightly ajar. I took the oversized t-shirt that he had taken out of his wardrobe for me and put it on over the top, reaching under it to unclasp my bra and shrug it off under the t-shirt, landing it on top of the dress.

I sat on Ran’s lap on the couch, once again, this time with a completely different energy between us, and took a bit of the moisturiser, starting from the top of his shoulder downwards, covering all his ink in a glossy layer.

Despite our vastly different backgrounds and personalities, there was no denying that something profound connected us on a level far beyond mere friendship. Was it fate? Destiny? Or were we simply two lost souls seeking solace in each other's arms amidst the chaos of Tokyo's criminal underworld? Whatever the answer was, one thing remained abundantly clear: this unlikely alliance had transformed into something far deeper and more meaningful than either of us could have ever imagined.

And so we sat together - two beings united by circumstance, driven by an insatiable desire for adventure, passion, and most importantly, comfort. We found comfort in each other in every way. Be it through defending each other from people who had no business being close to us or sharing secret knowledge in big crowds…even intimate moments like this one. We knew each other better than anyone else, these moments were completely ours, with nobody interrupting, nobody watching.

Ran reached over to hold my waist and steady me as I reached lower on his body to finish my treatment of his inked skin. I felt my face redden a little, though it did not make me falter in my practised movements whatsoever. When it was done, I spread what was left of the cream on his face, to which he made a face of feign-annoyance, as he did every single time I did this.

His eyes traced my body’s curves, my skin was tightening under his touch and gaze.

Ran knew that, beneath my playful exterior, there lay a fierce loyalty and unwavering devotion - qualities he had come to rely upon more than anything else during our journeys together.

With each passing moment, our bond grew stronger, fueled by trust, respect, and an undeniable attraction that refused to be ignored any longer.

Despite those intense feelings swirling between us like an invisible storm cloud threatening to engulf us whole, neither of us seemed willing (or perhaps capable) of addressing the elephant in the room. Instead, we chose to lose ourselves within this limbo state - teetering precariously on the precipice between friendship and something far more dangerous.

We weren’t strangers to a wandering touch or two. We had shared the bed countless times before, always staying pressed against each other, be it for warmth, for consolation after a hard time, in celebration of a job well done, or just because we could. Our hands knew each other’s bodies well. But we never took it further than just some friendly exploration. Not that we didn’t want to, no. But because the consequences of further embarkment could change the world forever.

It was the one thing we never spoke about. Even though everyone would refer to me as Ran’s wife, and Ran as my husband, we had never spoken about taking a step in that direction among ourselves, despite proudly admitting to others we’d marry each other in a heartbeat.

Tonight, however, as my skin tightened under his gentle touch, I felt the surge of emotions overwhelm me. The air between us crackled with an electric charge, fueled by years of shared experiences, laughter, pain, and heartache. We were a duo forged in the fires of adversity, bound by ties stronger than steel. I leaned forward to brush a strand of Ran’s hair out of his face, lingering with my face so close to his, trailing my gaze from his one eye to the other, and, with a determined breath, I pressed my lips to his.

Whether the explosions we heard were sounding outside the window in the street, or in our minds, that was going to remain a mystery. My entire body and soul were captured in the sensation of Ran’s scent, the texture of his soft lips, the connection between his hands and my waist, pulling me impossibly close to his body.

We had said I love you countless times, but it had never meant anything like this before. It was a slow and fast sensation at the same time. Full to the brim, overflowing. Our lips slotted together in an avalanche of I love yous, all of them unsaid, but felt deep inside. His hands quickly took over my entire body, as mine found their purchase in the locks of his hair, tugging lightly to hear a soft moan slip from his throat into my hungry mouth - a feast for my senses, a fresh spring for my thirsty soul.

With reckless abandon, we surrendered to each other completely. Baring not only our bodies, but also our hearts and souls in ways previously unexplored. This wasn’t just lust or infatuation. This was something far greater - true love manifesting itself through passion, vulnerability, and trust.

With a swift motion, Ran picked me up and started walking towards the bedroom. In the passion of the moment, he put me down to take his sweatpants off and I pulled off the shirt I had put on only minutes earlier - the only material covering us was our underwear.

To change that, I dropped to my knees in front of Ran, but he reacted quickly, pulling me back up by my arm, sitting down on the bed, and pulling me on top of him to straddle his hips. He continued kissing me, at the same time giving me the most loving caress on my cheek.

As I straddled him, my hips started moving to gain some friction against his erection. This managed to draw out a deep groan from the depth of his throat. His hands travelled up and down my sides, resting on my soft thighs on each side of his body.

Slowly but surely, we were crossing into uncharted territory - venturing deeper into the depths of each other’s souls with every stolen kiss and whispered word of affection. It was as if all barriers between us had crumbled away entirely, leaving nothing behind save for raw emotion and insatiable longing.

Like a tidal wave - with unbridled power all at once - Ran flipped us over to hover over me, like my own personal sun. I couldn’t take my eyes off him, he was in my head and in my heart, all over me and in front of my very lucky eyes. I felt like prey that wanted to be caught by the hunter.

He lowered one hand to my cheek, gently caressing it before lowering his lips into a kiss to rival all kisses. His fingers trailed down my naked body and dived under the hem of my underwear, pushing it down and off me before settling in between my wet folds, sliding through them, making me whimper at his touch as I never had before.

Our bodies melded together seamlessly, our hearts beating in perfect sync. There was no denying this magnetic pull between us; it was as if fate herself had conspired to bring these two lost souls together under extraordinary circumstances. And now here we were - lying naked on the bed, bathed in moonlight streaming through the open window.

His eyes burned a hole in mine, keeping contact even through the seductive act of bringing his slick fingers to his lips, first spreading the wetness on the soft plush of his bottom lip, then sucking in his finger to taste me. As his eyes closed at the sensation, I let out a gasp, feeling the desire pool in my belly.

Ran chuckled and dived in to kiss me, spreading the slick from his lips to mine. He nudged my legs open with his knee, slotting himself in between my legs, rising to his knees to see the view spread out in front of him - the view that stirred something primal within his very core.

My eyes were filled with desire and longing, my body trembled beneath his touch as if begging for release from this exquisite torment.

He knew what I needed now - what we both craved more than anything else in the world. And yet, there was still a lingering sensation…a fear of crossing the invisible line that might forever alter our relationship.

But, as he gazed down upon my face bathed in moonlight, all doubts faded away like wisps of smoke on the wind. This moment had been building since the day we had first met. It was inevitable now. The culmination of countless shared experiences and stolen glances that had brought us to this point.

Ran kissed down my stomach and reached the centre of all my frustration, the point on my body where all these vibrations went down to. He blew a stream of cold air onto it, sporting an innocent smile on his gentle face, lighting up when I whimpered in frustration.

He gave my needy clit one gentle kiss and dragged his body up to examine how his little torture affected me. I was reaching my hands up, so high, towards him. I needed to touch him. I needed to feel his smooth skin under my fingertips, needed to feel that this was real, and not some twisted dream.

Ran adjusted himself in front of my entrance, sliding the head of his cock through my wet folds, just like he had with his fingers.

I was shivering with sick anticipation.

And then…

As we crossed the threshold of no return, Ran whispered into the darkness around us.

“I need this so much.”

He gently eased himself inside my welcoming warmth. His movements were slow at first, tentative almost. I let out a whine so loud that I had to press my palm to my mouth to muffle it a little. He kept going, slowly, carefully, like he was waiting for me to stop him. I wouldn’t dream of it.

Somehow he was still going, stretching my insides to fit him, letting out huffs of air from his lungs as he sank deeper and deeper.

I looked up at him with a blissful smile, like I was right where I was always supposed to be.

Ran finally stopped sinking, filling me up completely. I wrapped my legs around his waist to anchor us both to this moment under the street light spilling in through the window, mixing with the cool moonlight. I kept him in me as long as I could before he started rocking back and forth, making both of us gasp with pleasure.

With each passing moment, the lines between friendship and something far more intense blurred until they became indistinguishable from one another.

“Ran…”

My voice echoed through the bedroom, together with the sound of insatiable moans and skin-on-skin contact. I gripped him like my life depended on his body staying as close to me as possible. His name was like a plea on my lips being whispered into the abyss, like my only wish and only thought in this entire world.

His hands roamed freely across my body, exploring every curve and contour like they were discovering new territories for the first time. As we moved together rhythmically, lost in each other’s embrace, there was no denying it anymore. We had taken a leap of faith, crossed the boundaries once considered sacred.

In Ran’s mind, there remained an undeniable truth: no matter what happened next or how things turned out eventually…this moment would forever remain etched deep in our minds, reminding us about what could exist between two souls brave enough to explore love beyond limits.

I thought about the twists and turns of our friendship throughout the years, how I had never felt jealous of any person he had been with. I had never felt threatened by his love interests, thinking it was because what we had was so platonic that it couldn’t have grown into anything else. Now I was starting to think we were so far past soulmates that nobody else could ever have replaced us.

Not a single person could replace Ran’s hands on my breasts and hips. Not a single person could be better under him than me right now, basking in his hungry eyes, being eaten alive by his desire. And when we were together, we unleashed eternity. We were sailing high, and I was already falling. Falling into the abyss of infinite pleasure.

With a gasp and a high-pitched moan I fell, and Ran caught me, sliding one hand to rub my swollen clit and bring me back to earth to ride out my orgasm. I attached my mouth to his neck, but not like before, this time it was possessive. Before, the neck kisses had just been a reminder of my presence, that I had been there with him - for him - but this time I intended to leave a mark.

I sucked on the sensitive skin of his neck like I tried to draw blood and his moans were fueling my passion.

I jerked my hips upwards to meet his thrusts when I finally came down to earth. I could feel him deeper inside of me than anyone else had ever been. He was giving me his all, and I was greedily taking it.

Ran let out guttural moans, again, and again, and again, as I met his thrusts with equal force; our bodies were like two pieces of an intricate puzzle designed specifically for one another.

As we spiralled towards oblivion together, consumed by insatiable desire and boundless affection, there existed within us both an unspoken understanding - this wasn’t about sex or pleasure, it was about exploring love unlike any other.

And then it finally happened, when we reached the pinnacle of ecstasy together, time seemed to stand still for a moment.

With the last thrust of Ran's hips into me, I realised I'd never been full before in my life. Not until then. When his face betrayed him, when he lost himself in me, when his voice couldn't handle any more, that's when we ascended from mere mortality.

I fell apart under his body, and he absorbed me into his soul.

Nobody else could ever compare. Nobody else came close to what we had.

All thoughts vanished except those centred around each other: You are mine.

Ran gazed down at me with a mixture of love, lust, and admiration as we descended from the dizzying height of our orgasms. I turned to him to gauge his reaction and figure out whether we were still, as usual, on the same page.

“Are you okay?”

My voice didn’t show any worry, though I felt in my soul the importance of our next decision - and that we had already decided when we pressed our lips together the first time.

Ran could see that this moment held more weight than any other we had shared thus far.

“Alright, sweetheart. Let’s talk about everything.”

He continued, propping himself up on one elbow and tracing his finger gently across my cheekbone. “What do you want from us?”

I shivered under his touch, still not over the way he had touched me just before this.

“I want all of you. I want to keep what we had before, but add this into it.” I thought for a moment. “The only thing I’d change, though…no more entertaining other people the way we did before.”

Ran listened intently as I spoke, my words resonating with a sincerity that made him feel both humbled and exhilarated. I wanted all of him - not just the passionate lover, but also the loyal friend who had been by my side through thick and thin.

“I promise you, darling…from now on, it will be just us.”

I drew closer to him.

“Yeah?”

Ran couldn’t help but smile, my eagerness mirrored his own excitement about our newfound intimacy.

“Absolutely, sweetheart.”

He ran a tender hand through my hair, savouring the moment before speaking again.

“I want nothing more than to be here with you, experiencing life together in every possible way.”

I drew myself up to face him and decided to get closer still, so I sat on his lap. I stuck my pinky out and he hooked his own to mine.

“No more holding back.”

“No more holding back. From now on, we’ll face whatever comes our way together. We are in this for real.”

I snickered as he leaned in to kiss me, our pinkies still intertwined.

“I love the sound of that. And I love you. With everything I have.”

Ran pulled away slightly, gazing into my eyes before responding.

“And I love you too. More than anything else in this world.”

He brushed a stray lock of hair from my face, tucking it gently behind my ear. We were completely connected now - hand in hand, heart to heart.

I sighed, remembering the reality that awaited us beyond these walls.

“We have to tell Izana. He asked me about us earlier.”

Ran’s expression darkened, his mind already coming up with the best way to break the news without causing too much friction.

“How did he ask? Was it casual or serious?”

I smirked and caressed Ran’s face.

“Oh sweetheart, it’s going to be fine. He asked me if we’d grown a pair to confess to each other because he was our number one supporter,” I moved my hand to Ran’s hair, stroking it softly, “he’s always seen through us, I think.”

Ran couldn’t help but feel relieved.

“Alright. Once we do this, there’s no going back. Are you absolutely certain about wanting everyone else to know?”

I held his gaze with determination.

“Absolutely. I don’t want anyone to think of me without visualising you by my side…if they hadn’t already.”

Ran nodded.

“Let’s go see him tomorrow then. We can catch him at breakfast.”

He squeezed my hand gently.

“Just remember, no matter what happens after we tell him, nothing changes between us two. We’re in this together until the very end.”

I nodded solemnly. I was ready to stand by Ran no matter what.

“In that case, we should try to sleep. Don’t want to show up in front of him with bags under my eyes.”

Ran chuckled lightly. He pulled me closer, nuzzling against my neck.

“That sounds like a plan. But before we retire for the night, there’s something I want to do first.”

His eyes glinted mischievously as he trailed soft kisses along my jawline. His lips curved into a smirk as he leaned over and brushed his lips against mine in a tantalising whisper.

“I was thinking of using my tongue on you, darling. Would you like that?”

His words sent a shiver down my body and I nodded wordlessly. His smirk widened at my response. He wasted no time in flipping us over and sliding off the bed to his knees, positioning himself between my legs.

“Let’s see how good you taste now, hm?”

He ran his fingers over my thighs, savouring the anticipation building within us. Ran enjoyed the sight of me lying on the bed, waiting for him with deep breaths. He lowered his head, pressing a tender kiss to my inner thigh before moving higher.

“I’ve been thinking about this for a long time.”

With that said, he parted my folds with his fingers and began lapping at my clit in long strokes. I whimpered as soon as his tongue made contact. My thighs pressed together in reflex as much as they could, pressing against Ran’s head. He chuckled softly against my sensitive flesh, relishing the way I reacted to his touch. He gently nudged my legs apart with his shoulders.

Slipping a finger inside of me, he began matching the rhythm of his tongue with slow thrusts. With each stroke, he could feel my skin getting warmer and my body more responsive.

“God, you taste amazing,” he murmured between licks and kisses, “I could do this all night.”

I tried to speak through shallow breaths.

“I- I’m not going to fuck to complain, R-Ran.”

His tongue was playing with me perfectly and, combined with his long elegant finger, it was heaven.

Ran continued his ministrations with renewed vigour, determined to push me closer to the edge. He moaned into my pussy, letting the vibrations add another layer of sensation.

“Mmm, you like that?” His voice was muffled by my flesh, but audible enough for me to hear his question.

As my grip tightened on the sheets, he knew I was getting there. He increased the pace of both, his tongue and finger, ever so slightly, eager to watch me fall apart under his expert touch. I hummed and whimpered to the rhythm of his finger, sprinting towards the edge of oblivion and, not looking back or hesitating, flinging myself into the endless ocean of pleasure.

I came on his tongue and I could hear his low chuckle vibrating my clit, sending me further, deeper, into the abyss.

Ran caught me as I fell apart, holding me tightly tethered to earth as he continued pleasuring me with his tongue and finger. As he felt the waves of my orgasm wash over him, he revelled in the knowledge that he had been the reason behind it.

“Good girl.”

He whispered between licks, prolonging my climax until I went limp in his arms.

I struggled to find the right words as I slowly opened my eyes to gaze at him, his fingers in his mouth, licking off my release. The only words I could think of were a long string of I love yous.

I love you I love you I love you I love you…

@bontensbabygirl @haitani-maki @animeangel21 It took me way too long to fit all this together on the page :(

#fanfic #fanfiction #writing #tokyo revengers fanfic #tokyo revengers fic #tokyo revengers x reader #ran haitani #ran haitani x you #ran haitani x reader #haitani ran #ran haitani smut #ran haitani fluff #tokyo revengers smut #tokyo revengers fluff #best friends to lovers #reader insert #no y/n #whatdoidosatoru

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buginacup · 1 month ago

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I just played through essentially all of what was available in the playtest, and as someone who IMMEDIATELY loved Collarva (which I believe you said you worked on?) on sight in both moves and visual design (I LOVE that wiped pose out in the field of pulling down their silk hoodie, and using hunker/grit is just kind of insane tbh) I'm curious what parts exactly you worked on (I don't even know if you got to work on its not-evolutions [metamorphs?] tbh) Also, any favorite beasties of yours that were in the Playtest?

I did the whole metamorph line! There was a while in development where we could pitch beasties that matched roles we were looking to fill, rather than what we do otherwise where we turn an extant concept (created by Greg or Alexis) into a design. The ones from the pitching period often had the same artist throughout, though I'd say even with the concept beasties it often worked out that way!

(Not to mention we often gave feedback to one another in the design process! Nobody is working entirely alone.)

I pitched these all at once!

We weren't super satisfied with the face of Collarva so I did a few iterative takes on new directions we could take them. As you might tell we wound up going for something around B!

With Collarva->Plumask they were looking for an early game lepidopteran (butterfly/moth) and I'm the go-to bug girl. There are a lot of moths and butterflies in monster games (bugs are the origins of the genre nobody is surprised) and I wanted to represent a type of moth that hadn't gotten much love yet. Plume moths are dusty looking creatures that don't look like they should be able to fly at a glance, it pulled me towards making something eerie and ghostly!

Image source here.

I don't want to color anyone's read of the line too much, but my general overarching theme was about picking up various personas/behaviors/aspects like a mossy rock until you find yourself as an adult and shed what you don't need. Both Axolati and Collarva are pulling from my teenage theatre kid life, uhuhu.

You can actually see the concept art for most beasties in the Beastiepedia under Morphology->Visual Studies. It even lists concept artists and sprite artists! (Research is concept/pose work and Videography refers to their in-game sprite and animation based off those poses)

In terms of mechanics/design we often don't have too much direct say. Since the color palette is often relevant we typically know what types of moves they'll specialize in. In my experience I'll pitch a concept and then give a narrative/emotional description that they use to inform stats/moves/etc. There are maybe one or two times where I lent a hand with stats/moves but I don't have a ton of time to play the game outside of work so I was always a bit too behind on the meta to contribute much, personally.

Yueffowl and Collarva are both favorites of mine! There are three or four beasties/beastie lines that are my precious babies and they're both included. They're among the ones where I really felt the most like I was expressing myself in the design. They definitely feel like designs I'll be remembered for.

#beastieball #ask #not-the-conversation-starter #yueffowl #collarva #my art #long post #concept art #monster

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 6 months ago

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AITA for saying I'm not rich?

Wait stop hear me out

So the thing is, my father is wealthy. Or at least he made enough money to have two Ferraris and a boat, which to me are the most useless things because why would u spend that money on this when u could spend it on food or commodities but details

When I was young, any time I asked for money or something, he'd make a huge deal about it. He'd make me feel awful, so awful that I just stopped asking for anything at all, starting from my teenage years to my college years, and I survived entire months, living alone during college, with 50 dollars to get by. For groceries and bills. And yes, he was nice enough to pay for my rent (170 dollars back then) but every time I'd be the worst piece of garbage for asking him. Worst thing was, I wanted a job, but he had this delusion that any sort of job that would take me, basically customer service, i wanted was "underneath my daughter" so he legit didn't let me and he'd go to big, big hoops to not allow me to do so

I'd never buy clothes or other necessities: I spent my teenage years just putting together what I got from relatives to make some savings, and I'd survive on that. He'd go splendid on my birthday and christmas, I guess, he'd buy me things, but I came to dread those days because the thought of him spending money -and how he reacted to it- always sent me into a blind panic so yes even though I got nice gifts I was never happy about it and I really really don't like my birthday

So I was always the girl who had two Ferraris to my friends, and they'd always get mad at me when I honestly told them "actually Im not rich" or "I'm sorry I'd rather go to the cheaper place" - because I legit thought i wasn't - and called me an asshole. But This was my father's money and I lived with him, but I rarely saw an actual dollar, everything I bought was with my savings and I spent years and years accumulating it, hoarding it. So I lived in this fancy house, but I'd wear 3 dollar pants and worn shoes because that's what I could afford with my money.

Note that even paying my school fees was a nightmare to me, because my father openly said I was a parasite and screamed at me but whATEVER

So um, my friends always said i was an ass for saying I didn't have any money, when my father was swimming in it. But when u survive on the allowance ur aunt gave u for an entire month, u really don't feel like it? and I always always felt so bad about it, because it felt like they were right and I was an asshole for pretending I don't have money. Except I didn't. I really didn't. That was all his, not mine, and while he did pay school and college flat rent, he was always making sure I knew what a burden I was for it. So yes, I'd still say I was actually not rich - even though I was lucky enough to have someone pay for me.

Anyway yeah AITA for saying I'm not rich? Tbh I really don't know if I can consider myself that, when it's not mine and I've never actually used it, it doesn't feel like it, but some tell me that's my privilege and I guess that could be right

Note: I am a grown adult now, I live on my own, pay my own things and have my job. And he's happy that he doesn't have to pay for me anymore, is baffled by my relationship with money (I don't like spending it ahah), not so much about me not living with him though. (The weird thing is he wants me with him, but not to take care of me which, honestly, valid) I do have a better relationship with him, but we never talk money because I live on minimum wage - ironically enough in costumer service - and he doesn't, so to me spending 60 on groceries is a lot (150 bills destroy me honestly, so winter is a joy) and he always, always mocks me for it. It's weird how he goes around with a Rolex and snuffs me for wearing Primark pants and then people constantly just... Think I have money at all and get mad at me when I say I don't

Anyway yeah AITA for saying I'm not rich? Tbh I really don't know if I can consider myself that if it's not mine, if I've never actually used it, it doesn't feel like it, but some tell me that's my privilege and I guess that could be right

#aita #am i the asshole

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melanieph321 · 4 months ago

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Ruben Dias x Reader - Summer Fling Part 5/10

Part 6 is out on my Patreon for free!

Summary - Reader has landed a research job at a marine biology lab in Portugal. She is, therefore, staying with her sister and her sister's Portuguese boyfriend for the summer holidays. There she meets Ruben Dias who is on vacation with his friends after the 2024 Euros. However, the two meet under the circumstances in which Ruben believes that Reader is a prostitute.

Enjoy ☀️

Spot-finned pufferfish were your new favorite animals. Although cute, they were also very lethal, with the power to paralyze bodies ten times their own size.

You were back at the Zoomarine, in the aquarium tank that hosted over a hundred marine life species, one of them being the spot-finned pufferfish. You were assisting Gavin to check on the lethal sea creatures. He was chasing the fish around the tank, while you documented his findings.

"Bloody bastards."

You had to shield your computer as Gavin emerged out of the water, wearing swimming goggles and a snorkel.

"I take it that they've started to reproduce?" You giggled.

"Damn straight they have, and their kids are all menaces."

Gavin inspected a gush in his hand. It wasn't a deep cut. However, even the caressing of a pufferfish skin can be dangerous, let alone a bite.

"Here, let me." You said, setting aside your computer, grabbing some gause and a bottle of saline solution.

"At least they seem healthy."

"Well, that's good."

You inspected his hand, his finger to be exact. The cut seemed to have been made by a pufferfish baby, meaning just cleaning the wound would do.

"Perhaps next time you should join me in the tank." He laughed. "You know, help me fend for myself."

"No thank you, I'd rather dive in the ocean. I'm sure it's much cleaner."

"You dive?"

You paused to look at him.

"Like, with a scuba tank?"

You nodded. "Both my sister and I are advanced divers. It's not really a shocker since our dad is a Dive Master."

"That's awesome."

"Thank you." You smiled.

"You know, I have a boat up the coast of Albu—"

"Sorry." You said, the aggressive vibration on your phone having interrupted. Ruben's name had popped up on the screen. A text from him. It made your heart skip a beat considering that the two of you hadn't seen each other for a while because of your job. Ruben, however, made sure to stay in touch.

"Who is that, you're boyfriend?" Gavin eyed your screen.

"Erm….no." He had caught you blushing. You flipped your phone and resumed tending his wound. "It's just a friend." You mumbled. However the awkward silence between you lasted until you left the Zoomarine.

"See you monday, Y/N."

"I'll see you on monday." You waved. Usually Gavin would offer you a ride to the train station, today however, he seemed in a rush to get to his car. He drove off and left you to make your way on foot. This wasn't a problem since today, like most days, was nothing short of a sunshine paradise.

On the train you took the time to reply to Ruben's text messages as there were several of them.

Ruben: "Are you free this weekend? If you are, how about dinner?" 🤔

Ruben: "Or maybe we could just meet up at the beach club again, if that's more convenient for you?"

Ruben: "Tbh, I just wanna see you again." 😅

You grinned at the screen as you typed in your answer. You also couldn't wait to see Ruben this weekend.

********************************************

A feeling of unease washed over you upon your arrival home. Your sister's car was not in its regular parking spot down the street from your apartment building. She had left early in the morning yesterday, while you were still in bed. She had left without notice, unless you count the post it note she pinned to the refrigerator, reminding you not to piss off the mermaids at work.

Your heart raced as you walked up the path to your front door, the key trembling in your hand. You had tried to brush it off, thinking that Maki was just out with her friends or at the beach. But as the hours ticked by and there was no sign of her, your worry had grown, even more so now as you walked into an empty apartment.

You tried calling her phone, but it went straight to voicemail. You tried texting, but there was no response. And now, returning out of the front door, you could feel a sense of dread creeping over you. What if something has happened?

Your heart kept on pounding as you made your way to Diogo's house, your mind filled with worst-case scenarios. He lived all the way in Albufeira so time couldn't move slow enough as you sat on the train. If only Maki hadn't taken the car.

You had always had your doubts about Diogo, with his rough exterior and his much older age. But Maki had been so taken with him, and you had tried to be supportive. But now, as you stood outside his front door, you couldn't help but wonder if he knew something that you didn't. You took a deep breath and knocked, your heart racing as you waited for an answer. You knew that you had to find out what had happened to your sister, and you were prepared to do whatever it took to bring her home safely.

"Sim?"

You flinched as the door flung open, Diogo occupying its frame. He regarded you with usual mysterio, his expression unreadable.

"Is my sister here?" You said, clenching your purse.

"No." He muttered and almost closed the door on you had you not lunged forward, preventing him.

"Well, where is she, do you know?"

Diogo regarded you with furrowed brows, not expecting you to speak to him with such command.

"Well?"

"Work." He grunted and once again tried to close the door on you.

"What work?" You said, pushing the door open once more. But this time Diogo had enough and grabbed you by the arm, pulling you inside of his house, shutting the door behind you.

"Why do you ask?" He huffed.

Your head shifted in panic, searching for a way out since Diogo's giant body stood blocking the door. "She's been gone for two days now, haven't you noticed?"

He chuckled, showing off his severely bleached teeth. "Like I said, your sister is at work."

"What work!" You shouted this time.

"Does it matter? All you need to know is that she works for me."

"That's it…." You marched towards the door, even if it meant that you had to push past him. "...If you can't tell me where she is I'm sure the police can help me—"

You gasped as Diogo grabbed you by the arm again, this time slamming your back against the front door. "Não me teste, filha da puta." (Do not test me, bitch) His breath was in your face, the smell of alcohol almost unbearable.

"Vai-te foder." (go fuck yourself). You spat.

His eyes widened, along with the grip around your arm that loosened. He then reached for something in his back pocket, which you were almost sure to be a knife. However, the screen of his phone lit up his face, as he typed in an unknown number. Soon a female voice sparked through the other end. "Hello, baby?"

Diogo shoved the phone in your hand. "Aqui, fale com ela." (Here, speak to her.)

"M…Maki?"

"Y/N? What are you….is everything okay?"

"Is everything okay?" You frowned. "Where the hell are you, you've been gone for two days without telling me."

"Oh, shit. I'm sorry. I'm at work, I don't have my phone."

"What work?" You asked, since you had always assumed that your sister was unemployed, living off her sugar daddy of a boyfriend.

"I work at the beach club. Didn't Diogo tell you that?"

"He did not." You looked to where he had gone to sit on a sofa in the corner of the room. He looked at you, amused by what he saw.

"Anyway. "Don't worry about me Y/N. I'll be home tomorrow. Love you!" And with that she hung up the phone. There had been loud music playing in the background. Perhaps Diogo had been telling the truth. Your sister worked for him at the beach club.

"Happy now?" He smiled. An oily smile that disgusted you more than anything.

You were quick to toss him his phone and walk out the door. You rushed down the street, away from the quiet but fancy neighborhood that he lived in. You made it all the way back to the train station. There you dug up your phone and dialed the number of the only person you felt like you could trust in this foreign country that you found yourself in. "Ruben? It's me.....Is there a chance that I can stay with you tonight?"

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4

Part 6 is out on my Patreon for free!

#fanfiction #football imagine #footballer x reader #footballer imagine #football angst #ruben dias #man city #manchester city #ruben dias x reader #ruben dias imagine

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sitp-recs · 9 months ago

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Hello again, how are you? I hope you do well ! I'd like to see if you can recommend me any survival Darry fic. I'd like some fic where Draco and Harry get lost and have to survive together, just the two of them, and they end up forming a very strong bond

Hi there! I’ve had better days tbh but thank you for asking, I hope you’ve been well 💜 here are some fics that came to mind:

World's Edge by RurouniHime (E, 15k)

In the harshest environment on earth, Harry finds that escaping is harder than simply running.

All the Ashes Like Leaves by firethesound (M, 21k)

Nothing about being the Chosen One had prepared Harry for this. With most of the population blinded and man-eating plants running amok, he can only stay close to his friends as they make their way to safety. Not that he’d call Malfoy a friend, but the end of the world does rather make their ongoing feud seem trivial. And it just figures that it took nothing short of an apocalypse to make Malfoy seem like less of a git.

Draco Malfoy, It's Your Lucky Day by Faith Wood (E, 37k)

Even though he's unarmed, injured, lost in the Forbidden Forest, and facing a possible murder charge, Draco Malfoy gets lucky.

Annus Mirabilis by Ren (E, 39k)

Harry and Malfoy are trapped at Hogwarts around the time the school was founded. Stuck with a different way of doing magic, with no chocolate, and with each other, they have to find a way to work together if they want a chance to go home.

Survival of the Species by @romaine2424 (E, 46k)

Draco approaches Harry on the 9 ¾ platform, after their sons have boarded the Hogwarts Express, and invites him over for tea. The discussion they have leads them on an adventure that neither could have expected. There be dragons! HPDH compliant but before any other canon info had been released.

9 ½ Days by @magpiefngrl (E, 69k)

After the events at the Manor, Harry and Draco find themselves stranded in the countryside with a broken wand and Death Eaters on their tail. This is the story of an uneasy truce, featuring faerie forests, seaside caves, Romani camps, kind old ladies, and a shared bed in an attic. Or how two boys fell in love in the midst of a bloody coup.

Consequences of Redemption by bobbirose (M, 120k)

When Draco makes an impromptu decision to rescue Harry Potter from Malfoy Manor, the two find themselves completely alone and facing the looming climax of the war against Voldemort. Harry must start from the beginning with Draco--and starting over has more consequences than either of them anticipated.

Walking the Line by SilentAuror (E, 179k)

Sixth year is over and Draco Malfoy is on the run. The war is on and an unwanted assignment is forced upon him by the only people he trusts - and a one-time arch-enemy just may be out to kill him.

Temptation on the Warfront by alizarincrims0n (E, 180k)

Draco Malfoy is forced into hiding with the Golden Trio and dragged into their search for horcruxes. What ensues is a journey of redemption, unexpected friendships and an unwanted, turbulent romance with Harry Potter. Warnings for swearing, sexual content, and dark themes.

Eclipse by Mijan (T, 287k)

Draco swore his revenge on Harry for Lucius's imprisonment, and Harry all but laughed at him. But Draco is planning more than schoolyard pranks this time. The old rivalry turns deadly when Draco abducts Harry for Voldemort. It's the perfect plan, guaranteeing revenge, power, and prestige, all in one blow. But when Draco's world turns upside down, the fight to save himself and Harry begins, and the battle will take them both through hell and back. If they come back.

In The Dark by @bixgirl1 (E, WIP)

In the aftermath of an apocalypse, Harry receives an order to find and bring Draco Malfoy nearly a thousand miles, to the tenuous safety of Hogwarts. But more than distance separates them from their goal. The world has fallen, and death is hungry.

#asks #anon #Drarry reclist #surviving together

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marengogo · 2 months ago

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NAKED - 6: I’d Rather Be …

Listening to the playlist bts sexy songs

[Music is a very big part of my life and I’m MOSTLY INCAPABLE of writing without music, so I just thought I'd share what I am listening to while writing this]

–🐺–🐺–🐺–

Why hello my Lovergurls, Loverbois and Loverenbies! It’s been a minute since I made a Naked post, hasn’t it? Well, need something fun to do tonight, so given a particular development that came to light because of the AYS behind the scenes, I decided that it would be fun to point out a couple of things, while we look at a couple of chronologically very interesting fact at least to me, they are quite interesting I even have a tin-hat moment for y’all! … So ⚠️SPOILER ALERT⚠️if you don’t want any AYS VOD Behind The Scenes spoilers, this is not the post for you. Ayte? Cool, lesgo! 😘💋

The date is July 13, 2023. JM, and his perfectly shaven legs, get into a flight to NYC. Nobody knows why. Most of his solos assume he must be going for a personal schedule that has nothing to do with JK. Most Jkkrs assume that he is going to support JK. Boat Blue Bird AMI feel a certain way about airport info which they can’t be completely blamed for tbh, so they completely ignore the whole thing.

At this very moment in time, all we know for sure are the following 3 things: 1. JK’s solo first single, Seven, will be released July 14, 2023. 2. JK will debut said single with a live performance on Good Morning America on that same July 14. 3. July 14 also just so happens to be Silver Day. So it is that the evening of the 13th of July pulls up and pictures of what seem to be JM and JK going about the streets of NYC start surfacing. Some believe them, some don’t and we are all left at that.

July 14, 2023, the following day, finally arrives. JK does amazing, despite the rain, and even though he let’s it slip that JM is somewhere in NYC because of a very curious TV-host, he manages to still keep JM’s presence very vague. Yet, the thing that will have the majority that was paying attention except for celebrating Capulets of course rather confused, and some even aghast, is the fact that JM was nowhere to be found at JK’s performance. This will eventually be a topic of discussion for months to come, given how JM had been physically present for every other member’s debut, release, live, or fanmeet.

Eventually, on the July 15th a video of who seem to be JM and JK on a yacht surfaces on the world wide web thanks to said yacht’s dickhead owner, as well as tells of various other people who begin to spot the two around Connecticut. As always, most AMI ignore, Jkkrs decide to die on that hill, and Capulets fight to deny everything. Regardless, eventually JM goes back to Seoul in the same way he had left, alone, and the reason for his visit to NYC, because at this point nobody believes he was in Connecticut, or even with JK at all remains a mystery.

Little did we know that: On July 13th, not only were JM & JK truly spotted skipping around NYC, after they’d gone eating at a Korean restaurant named Antoya, with their staff and crew,

but JM had indeed gone specifically for the sole objective of being with JK and filming a single travel vlog for AMI before they left for the military.

Could he not have just shown up for JK’s debut at GMA, just like he’d done with all the other members? Yes, I’m sure he could have, but apparently JM would rather have spent the night before leisurely with JK, perhaps getting him tired enough to have him at least sleep a little, so that he’d be ready for his performance the following day, rather than staying awake from nerves and/or excitement, to then eventually relaxedly go and film their carefree and “therapeutic” content.

Eventually, we’d also have confirmed the fact that JM & JK went back to Antoya, this time alone, most likely right before JM returned to Seoul.

The date is September 23, 2023. Jungkook is once again in NYC where, and within the walls of a very familiar hotel room, he starts a WEVERSE live, right after he’s done performing at the Global Citizen Festival in Central Park:

That very day Jimin has the world in hysterics as his posts his first #ThisIsJimin reel on IG many “cried”: it was emotional. This very night JK would also get on a flight to get back to Seoul. JK lands September 24, 2023 and nothing would be heard neither of him, or JM, on this day.

#ThisIsJimin 1

September 25, 2023 quickly comes by and from this day, for a couple of more days, JM start’s to be particularly active on IG, making us believe that “Okay, interactive JM is back!” … 🤡 by first posting a video of Tae.

Tae Surprise Performance

September 28 he posts a picture of what looks like a shark eventually JK will tell us it was a whale 🙃… okay saying that JK drew it. September 29, JK’s second single, 3D, is released, and JM also posts something about it on his IG. October 1, the second #ThisIsJimin is posted on IG and, on the same day, JK also has a StationHead Listening Party with AMI. This would be the last we’d hear from JM until the day before his birthday (October 12, 2023).

Little did we know that: On September 25th, JK, JM and Tae would be boarding on a plane all the way to Jeju, to film the Autumn episode of Are You Sure?!. I guess being around Tae might have been what made JM want to post that video on that same day, but really, who knows, right? That same night, after Tae goes to bed, JK and JM spend some time together in the living room watching a performance video for SNTY and chit-chatting; the below being one of the chats:

From this convo, we gather that JK didn’t sleep, at least on the flight from NYC to Seoul, reason why he was tired, and it would appear that he’s told JM beforehand because he is searching for consensus, which JM readily gives. So at this point we are all like “He’s told JM before they travelled”.

And then this AYS behind the scenes change this whole scenario completely:

Given as to how they literally were to have met to film content together, couldn’t they just have met the following day? Yes, I’m sure they could have, but apparently JM & JK would rather have spent the previous night together, rather as JK landed in Soul as they enjoyed some makguksu made by JK at JK’s place.

Tin-Hat Moment: Remember how I’ve mentioned time and time again that I just go on the Blue Bird to silently get info? There was a rumor back in August 2023 that JK and JM were spotted in Jeju. No pictures were going around on the platform but it was all that jkkr twitter was talking about for that day as the rumor died within a day or two. It took me forever to find this tweets again but here are some:

I remember this rumor so well since, because of it, I thought that AYS Jeju was being filmed in August, which is close enough to Chuseouk. However, if these episodes were filmed at the end of September; how was there a rumor that they had been spotted in Jeju mid August? 🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔 …

… I guess we’ll never know.

The date is November 23, 2023. JK & JM stroll up together into Incheon and because of that nobody, be it jkkrs, be it Capulates, be it Blue Bird AMI can ignore their presence and the word of everyone’s mouth is: Why?

Reporters at the sight all have received info saying that they are working together on some kind of project. And as they make their way through Incheon greeting people, looking like the next royal couple, they eventually land in Tokyo, and after JM posts the below pictures on November 25th, chaos ensues.

“They are not staying in the same hotel?!” “JM has spent his whole day without JK, shopping and having fun” “JK is no where near JM” “Yeah, we’ve felt it for a while, they are just business associates kinda bandmates” “So it is just work after all” “... maybe they just happened to have business in Tokyo on the same day and went together”.

Eventually on that same November 25, JM & JK are seen leaving for Sapporo, and on November 28, they both go back to Seoul. This time around, the general consensus is that they are filming because they are seen in the airport in Sapporo with GoPros, but nobody knows what they are filming exactly. Hence, they go fairly unnoticed in Sapporo, except for a youtuber who randomly spots them, on her way back to Seoul, and who thought she’d seen JK and his blond girlfriend … 😏 .

youtube

Little did we know that: On November 23rd, JK was hella busy when they went to Tokyo, as we know, amongst the many things he did, he also filmed the Hate You video JM’s favourite song from Golden may I add:

youtube

So much so that there were sightings of JK being spot in particular restaurants and JM in others, which to be honest, given how busy JK was, I don’t have a problem believing. So then, Couldn’t have JM just meet JK directly in Sapporo? Afterall JM did fly to NYC to meet up with JK alone? Yes, I’m sure he could have, but apparently JK would rather have had JM around even if they couldn’t do much together because, from his very own words:

… Who knows what they did together in Tokyo. This, like many other things surrounding JK & JM might just remain a mystery we’ll never know 🙄.

Now let me tell you, because of what had been initially presented to us, throughout JM & JK’s “chapter 2” and thanks to what is slowly being revealed, it is safe to say that we were NEVER going to get that WEVERSE live, not for fault of JK I’d say, I think my Twinflame tried his best

Also he can lie his ass off when needed kudos to him no cap!👏🏾 This live happened after they met in NYC, on the 30th of July. I mean this the same man that pulled up on WEVERSE for a whopping 1 minute and 53 second with a 17’s member.

Basically if they wanted to have done a live together; they would have.

Ever since I’ve found out that basically JM spent every single night before filming AYS with JK, for, even though he didn’t really have to, nights during which honest to everything, they could have just done a 10sec live particularly in Tokyo, since we publicly so them go together, I’ve had Rihanna’s James Joint stuck in my head:

🎶I’d rather be breaking things cause we can’t see… how you live and love like fuck rules, don’t care why just know I love you🎵

This song made me think about them, not because I think they are in this edgy-as-hell relationship, but because it finally dawned of me that there were a lot of things that both JM & JK rather would have done than coming on a live with us 🤡🥹🙃, which to be honest, no matter how much I am the first person who loves to see them together and would have boxed JK’s trainer for a live … I must admit … I respect their decisions, and if they really are in a relationship, I find this rather healthy NGL. Aaaand that’s all from me y’all, as always, stay sassy, but keep it hella classy 💋.

Always respectfully yours,

Marengo.

#JKK NAK #Are You Sure?! VOD #Youtube

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thevikingwoman · 2 months ago

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alright so I'm not actively seeking out DA veilguard information, but I also don't have all the possible spoiler tags blocked.

I've had a little excitement build, though my outlook is to keep a wait and see approach, and my interest in Dragon Age in general has been a background simmer - I felt neutral towards the initial announcement of name and date etc.

I admit my interest peaked up with the preview of the character creator, maybe even getting a little excited to create a rook, and to set foot in Thedas again.

now, recently I've seen some news that very few decisions from Inquisition has made it over, and that we can't play / decide what our inquisitor does, and that no decisions from DA2 or Origins matter. And I admit that is disappointing? The game series is tied to meaningful choices - and ofc they have to bottle neck and streamline, but it feels a little hollow.

One thing is the inquisitor, and not just speaking as a solavellan (I never thought i'd get a solas romance scene in veilguard tbh that struck me as wishful thinking), where I feel there's a good deal of difference how to deal with the past romance for the individuals (do you still carry a torch etc), but I'd hoped Dorian would show up and Dorianmancers would get some choice here too, etc. It's also just means it will probably be a short cameo.

Now what I really think of is the lack of matter in choices. If the well of sorrows don't matter, why was it such a big deal? Does it not matter who is Divine? and much more.

Most of all, what makes me (pre-emptively I guess) upset is Kieran. Not only should it matter whether the Old God soul is potentially there in Solas via Flemythal, but Kieran could also just be a regular kid too. He will exist or not exist depending on world state. And given that Morrigan shows up, are they just going to ignore this just because he's what - seventeen? twentyone? years old? Morrigan and Kieran means so much to me, there are very few media I can think of where people are allowed to be parents and still be a person with agency in the plot, without having the plot relate to their parenthood directly (because Kieran can also not exist of course). This is SO incredible important, and if they just - handwave that away it's making me mad just thinking about it.

Mostly, though, I think it was a mistake for them to try and cater to both new and old players in a whisy washy way. It's been 10 years, I get it. They want to appeal to people who was not playing (or shouldn't have been) an M rated when Inquisition, let alone Origins came out. They can't make too many references to old games, they can't confuse players.

But i think - with the time it took to develop this game, I'd much rather they'd done a soft reset instead. Solas succeeded, the veil has come down, it's 75 years later. Or even shorter, leaving room for old favorites to show up, but also having a reason for the decisions to not matter? I don't know. But something that would have made the game accessible to new players, and refreshed everything for old players. I frankly think they are trying to both have and eat the cake, and I fear it's going to fall on it's ass.

Lastly, I don't need a solavellan resolution. They're resolved in my head and been for 8 years. And I'd rather keep that than some halfassed 4 lines that don't fit Iwyn.

#also can we the fuck get hawke out of the fade?#please and thank you #da4 #da4 spoilers #dragon age veilguard #dragon age veilguard spoilers #dragon age critical #da4 critical #dragon age #yeah I'm old and cranky today #maybe it's a psych were not actually revealing everything #but hm #I'm wondering about the marketing blitz and whether it will live up to it

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catgirlbussy · 1 year ago

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im gonna do a lil sadpost, as a treat. if u dun wanna read that or interact or anything there's no harm done <3 it kinda feels nice sayin stuff into the void tbh, cause i know as i look out ill always see myself at minimum, and im still thankful. im alive. if someone can relate or whatever then thats a neat bonus ★

I'm not super sure how to formulate these thoughts, cause lots of it is just incompressible /feeling/. I've been on HRT for close to two years now, and modifying my internal physical landscape alongside the work I put in with the ways I've learned sharing benefit so far, like therapy and self-directed exploration of my emotions and the simple but vital practice of being more open with others about how I'm feeling, has uncovered a lot.

It's been overwhelmingly positive in so many ways. I don't have any regrets for starting this set of changes, even with full knowledge of the difficulties I've had rise as a result and that more are on the horizon, and also full awareness in that I will need to continue putting in the *good* work to care for myself and learn how to navigate the parts in my mind I'd kept hidden or obscured for so long. It's not /bad/, I feel so grateful to have this opportunity at all and I feel bounteous joys in this trove of beautiful experiences that, up 'till not too long ago, I never thought I'd be able to experience -- though I absolutely still dreamed of having them so vividly.

I have a lot of good graces in my life re: my transition. In a lot of ways I feel I've been exceedingly lucky. Canada has its fair share of problems without a doubt, but I also know full well there are a lot more places on our planet where it's much more difficult to be openly trans, let alone dangerous or lethal. I don't take that as an opportunity to rest, either, because having cracks forming in the firmament, letting in light to my dream of a world where trans experiences are accepted (and to note most thoroughly, I'm learning more of a lot of cultures in days gone by, /including some aspects of my own heritage/, having extended gender representations ingrained in their societal norms, some as far even to revere the dynamic and unique experience of existing beyond the gender binary in whatever way they saw as such) for **everyone** spurs in me an even deeper and impassioned drive to work in the ways I'm able to foster communication and connection while rebuking hostility so more and more beautiful, valid trans folks can experience respite and respect and safety as well.

I'm not wanting necessarily to change minds and upend the posture of society with this particular post, though, and so I hope you'll forgive me in my expressing my small, localised set of emotions in this moment. At the root of everything I experience I'm starting to get better at reminding myself that I'm a valid *individual person* in addition to being a contributor in the push for good and kindness for all.

It's probably telling that I feel the need to offer ~4 paragraphs as a disclaimer that I spend time learning about the global scale and am effortful in enacting progress there before just getting on with what I'm even feeling sad about. I don't see myself as a holy martyr for being nervous about expressing myself, but it seems more and more common evidently rather than by my hypothesis alone that many trans individuals would get by prior to exploring their gendered identity with burgeoning self-acceptance with a marked self-exclusionary behaviour when it came to opening themselves to emotional experience, regardless of any given instance being gendered or not. Until it becomes unmanageable, it feels easier to lock away senses of joy, sadness, etc. cause you can keep gettin on by in a sort of functional state and you tell yourself thats enough.

This is far from the worst thing I've come across so far, but I am feeling confused and the confusion is unique in its own way to the extent that I'm not even able to pin down how I /feel/ about feeling it. At its heart I can't seem to muster the right formulation of words to explain to others these particular experiences I'm having in my transition. Painting in broad strokes can be such disservice to the nuance for any individual's cluster of experiences, but tumblr if anything *for me* has brought much happiness in finding threads of commonality with others. Stark contrasts to my feelings of loneliness and seclusion from the world around me give me so much hope. I'm writing this partly in hopes that there is another one of those threads people might appreciate seeing. I do more than my fair share of journaling, but this one feels special and worth sharing right now, and so decadently I write these words for a community beyond myself.

To be blunted, perhaps I might phrase it by saying 'i feel sad about being happy.' It's that sort of absurdist perspective that helps me wrap my head around it a little better with how little sense it makes to my normal machinations. I'm not sad that I am having these new and thrilling experiences of adding or or changing parts of myself to live in the way I best see fit for who I am, but I feel sad because I don't know how to.

I get locked up at the slightest things. Someone compliments my nails, and its so hard to communicate efficiently the impossibly depthed importance this literally surficial act has for me. They aren't even painted well, but I painted them /myself/, I felt catharsis in exploring my love of artistic expression in the choice of colours, I rode high on the thrill of watching this new skill form in my own hands. The coat is uneven and I can't quite keep myself from getting knicks in places as they dry yet and I'm still practicing the nail care associated with maintaining healthy and resilient nails, but if I can be so bold to say, god forbid women do anything.

This person obviously wasn't chastising me for partaking in a traditionally "femininely-associated act", let alone that so thoroughly most things people take for gendered in no way innately are, the whole binary supposition is a damned myth. But because of how I was brought up and the mindset I was taught to have before I fought to think for myself instead, this was a joy I'd always admired but felt I was abhorrent for wanting to partake in. Absolutely anyone who feels otherwise can irrevocably go fuck themselves if they aren't willing to examine the falsity of the foundational thoughts they 'think' they have leading them to ever want someone to abstain from such a viscerally unobstructive and innocuous form of self exploration and creativity bexause it's "for girls". This goes for anything. For anyone. Idc who you are or what label you wanna use at any given moment, go explore. Live life. God fuck do we need people to just experience joy in some ways so we aren't so incorrigible and hostile towards eachother.

But you don't stop whoever took 15 seconds out of their say to mention to you they like the colour and wanted you to know to discurse at length upon the structural bastardisation of who people are allowed to be, cause more than any of that I just want to feel happy about it.

I literally stutter out whatever form of thanks my malformed emotionally-communicative faculties can muster in this surprise and try not to start sobbing in the grocery store aisle or whatever. It's so /good/, and it's so frustrating that I don't even know how to just process and appreciate that it is.

I was so much an absentee in my own bodied self that I could not fathom an understanding of what gender euphoria was until it snuck up smashed me in the teeth. I didn't have any basis of understanding for what it was really like to be happy about some part of myself.

Despite my loneliness I have still had the experiences of friendships, people caring about me, and relationships where a partner genuinely appreciated parts of me, physical, mental, emotional, whatever. More now than ever I am having those experiences as I learn to come out of my cloister inside my head. But this time I'm not just numb to everything. Sure, as I'm learning to not just be unilaterally numb until my bastion of self-isolation fails and I break there is abundance of pain, but the pain I honestly prefer. It's more vivid than it's ever been before, but I can benchmark that I'm still alive by its contrast to neutrality. It's familiar, and my mechanisms of clutching my emotions into my soul can still carry me forward as I try to figure things out. But fuck me is it ever hard to have a happy experience and not know how to communicate that it tore my sense of stability in those moments to shreds. To lose the composure that carried me for so many years because someone sought to share something with me they thought I'd appreciate because they care about me feels so counterproductive to just enjoying the absolute gift that experience is.

Abstractly, as I'm wont to do to a remarkably self-apparent fault, I can tell myself that these things take time. Human emotion is so complex, and its panoply of shifting lights glinting as the facets move their positioning relative to the light of being alive is what drives me to do art, and it always has been, contradictory so fully to my desire to lock everything away. I can't circumnavigate multiple decades of trauma and be free and unfettered in my senses in an instant just because I'm aware it's possible. And so I try so fucking hard not to just sit down and cry in that grocery store aisle, cause it hurts so bad to be happy.

How dare I find glints of good in the polluted landscape we live in. But that mindset helps nothing. People striving to live amidst turmoil is what makes life worth living. There will always be strife, but there will always be the possibility for hope alongside it.

Without fail, each night I'll self-soothe myself into a mode of somewhat-restfulness imagining what it would be like to trust myself enough to be imperfect and let someone hold me. It's the only thing I do anymore. It even backfires sometimes and I just waking-dream my way through countless blissful scenarios about what it would be like if that cute girl I've been starting to become friends with mentioned she wanted to hold my hand for hours until the sun comes up and I know I won't have any sleep at all. It's so goddamn worth it. I revel in it, because at least in the theatre of my mind I can find small ways of letting myself feel those joys. They aren't really happening. It's my own hand rubbing a thumb gently along my collarbone in a faux affection. But it's the only way I've found that's not so obstructively blinding in intensity for me to practice what it would be like to be close to others.

I still lose my sense of self so often. I find bruises from where I bumped into things and wholesale didn't notice until the tiredness sets in and I can't autonomously ignore how sore I am. I dive effortlessly into the placid waters of dissociation when someone gives me a hug, despite that being what I have dreamed of for so many years during my self-imposed isolation. Someone tells me they like an art piece I've made and I stopper any sense of pride or appreciation for their kind words despite pouring however much time channeling my slowly uncoiling understanding of reality into every particle of it and wishing that my experiences could convey any amount of any feeling whatsoever to another living being with the entirely selfish act of wanting that I feel like I had a real connection.

I can't get by with chainsmoking and shelf-set pain medications and blind ignorance any more. I can't ignore how badly I want to feel. I am figuring it out instant by instant and it scares me horribly. One day my yearnings for closeness will be actualised because I'll be ready to open when they come. My selfsense-extracted mutterings of the hypothetical joys of being pressed down into sheets and kissed because someone deigned to gift me with attention for they hold appreciation of this newly forming, ill-configured, but ultimately revelatory feminine self I'm becoming will no longer be fiction and prose but the rawness of experience that I, once, and then more, can lose myself into without terror thay I'm inadequate and never truly worth it. Someone will touch my breasts and love me for loving them myself and I'll give in to the annihilating instant where I am no longer a sense of self but just am. This body is not me but my, and I will scrape and fight however I can muster to live vicariously thru it because that is what I am meant to do by being here alive at all. If anything ever again I want to feel what love is like.

I'm not even reading this back to see if it conveys properly let alone makes sense at all. I'm exhausted and in so much pain. If you read this, thanks, and, if you can, go hug someone you love today.

#acceptance #love #kindness #affection #expression #long post #tldr #hope #trans #transgender #trans femme #trans girl #transition #hrt #hormones #mtf #pride #self love

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vaneshifts · 4 months ago

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INTRODUCTION POST

Hello! My name is Vane. I'm 19 years old, Canadian, a Virgo and an ambivert with anger issues.

I've been attempting to shift since 2020, during the pandemic and my own personal crisis that made that year likely the most miserable point in my life. I have not yet shifted, but I have come very close, especially recently.

Below I've listed some of the fandoms I'm "part of" (often I find that fandom behaviour can be rather toxic and try to avoid it), places that I'm shifting, as well as some information about "fictional" places that you can use however you see fit to determine your image of me. I've also listed the rules and expectations of this blog, and if you don't agree with them, please DNI. If rules are broken, you will be blocked.

Favourite Shifting Takes (of mine):

Permashifting; I Know The End by Phoebe Bridgers

Shifting Realities VS Shifting Goals (mindset)

Rules (please consider before interacting):

No anti-shifters

Keep your shifttok logic FAR away from me

No discouraging comments to myself or others

If you think my information is incorrect, please inform me POLITELY, and we can discuss it if you'd like (I generally won't post something if I haven't made sure my information is right, but everyone makes mistakes, so if I am in fact wrong, I'd be happy to correct it)

I don't approve of of any DRs specifically made for killing or hurting people and I do not support them, so do not encourage or speak about them on my page

That being said, I think the concept that you should NEVER hurt/kill anyone in any DR is bullshit, so if it's something like Marvel or ASOIAF, Maze Runner, etc. where it may become necessary, I think that is perfectly acceptable

Race changing doesn't hurt anybody because the reality where you are a different race already exists so leave people alone if that's what they choose to do (but if you do race change, please make sure you're being respectful because other people's experiences are not your costumes)

Shifting to feel loved, to experience a better childhood, to have more control over your life or even just as escapism is perfectly fine. Shifting is a tool at your disposal and up to your own discretion.

Age-changing is fine

Permashifitng is not unhealthy or bad, it is very possible, and if you choose to do it, I wish you all the best

All shifters are valid, including those who haven't shifted yet or who are still trying to reset from all of the misinformation they were likely fed from early shifttok

If I missed anything, I may come back to update this list later

Now onto the more fun part!

Fandoms:

Avatar (not TLA)

DC Cinematic

Harry Potter Golden Trio Era

Marauders Era

Good Omens

Game of Thrones

House of the Dragon

Hazbin Hotel / Helluvaboss

The Hobbit & Lord of the Rings

How to Train Your Dragon (Including DOB & RTTE)

Hunger Games

Marvel Cinematic Universe

Once Upon a Time

Percy Jackson & The Olympians (Riordanverse)

Rings Of Power

Shadow and Bone

Six of Crows

Star Wars

Stranger Things

Supernatural

She-Ra

The Vampire Diaries

Teen Wolf

The Umbrella Academy

The Witcher (TV series)

This list will probably be added to at some point TBH

Places I Am Shifting To:

Harry Potter Golden Trio Era

Marauders Era

Good Omens

Game of Thrones

House of the Dragon

Helluvaboss

The Hobbit

Lord of the Rings

How to Train Your Dragon

Marvel Cinematic Universe

Rings Of Power

Shadow and Bone

Six of Crows

Supernatural

The Vampire Diaries

The Umbrella Academy

Hogwarts House: Slytherin

Patronus: fox

Marauders Kinnie: 75% Sirius Black, 25% Regulus Black

PJO Cabin: 12 (Dionysus)

TVD Species: Vampire

If you have any questions about me, my shifting journey, or shifting in general, please reach out and I will do my best to answer them! Happy Shifting! <3

#reality shifting #shifting #desired reality #manifestation #shiftblr #shifting community #anti-shifters dni #permashifting #vane talks

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raindropren · 1 year ago

Text

!!!!!! Secret Life Episode 9 Spoilers !!!!!!

THIS SEASON IS SO FUCKING GOOD HELL YA

I LOVE THIS

I LOVE SECRET LIFE

IT'S SO GOOD

I'M

SIIJOHFSIHFJSNF

LETS GO, SCAR!! WOO HOO

I GENUINELY LOVE THIS SO MUCH AAA

ALSO WHY IS PEARL SO CRACKED AT THIS GAME!?!?!

So she was i think 3rd in last life, Won in double life, I think 4th or 5th in limited life, and now, 2nd in Secret life!!

What the F u c k

I love it so much

It really helps all my headcanons tbh, it makes me so happy.

Also why does pearl always survive longer then her allies/teammates(Unless they win)

and by always i mean like, 2 times? 2 and a half? if u count tilly maybe? i do... 2.5 :]

I really do wish joel or bdubs won, mostly joel because it would've been so good but I deffo think scar deserved this win.

I think it wouldve been kind of funny if in the 1v1 battle between scar and pearl.. pearl won... and it's just, awkward cause she... didn't want that. at all.

She wanted scar to win after bdubs and joel died, she wanted to sacrifice her life to scar in the end because she wanted her allies to win.

I also think shiny duo is a tragedy in the end. I really hope someone makes a fanfic about them in secret life cause they just, they, they just, <3 <3 <3

I love them alot

I'm making a theory that Gem might, win the next life seires.

Shiny duo winning their second season, please please please /hj /lh

I've already really loved the pearl fanfics from this season cause omg but I just, i just <3 <3 can't wait to see more!! aaa :D

if i get the motivation i fucking will make a fic about gem and pearl coming back into hermitcraft. They have very similar vibes in the life series(they're fucking crazy, don't mess with them, but also you'd rather be on their side then not(I haven't watched gems life series so if i'm wrong on this one, oopsie) cause they are more loyal then most) and I think it'd be fun to see them coming back and talking to eachother about the season ngl.

Murder camel my beloved, shiny duo my beloved

I also think(if I get the motivation) i'd want to make a fic with Pearl and Bdubs, in hermitcraft, afterwards.

ooo so many ideas, so many ideas so little time and motivation.

i wanna know what would happen if pearl accidentally won, despite not wanting too, if she hit scar just alittle to hard and now she was alone, as the sole 2 time winner. I think AU!pearl would have a mental fucking breakdown but i also think it'd be a fun concept aaaa

I want a fic about Pearl just after Bdubs and Joel died, just crying. like tears down her cheeks when she meets back up with scar and aaaa <3

All these would be my au obviously cause i'm way to obsessed with it but my au is set in canon, mostly. or at least alittle, i'm trying LOL

I'm proud of scar :]

like, i'm proud of all the winners but, i really do feel like scar deserved this win

I might watch his pov at some point, i can't wait for people to tear the angst from scars episodes, they already have alittle but with him winning, I can't fucking wait, omg <3

I'm just so excited now

aaaa

i'm nhjgofubkhgfubkjhdfjl eee

I really hope gem and pearl team next season instead of just being temporary allies because they are so fun omg

I really hope there's another season cause god they are so good /nf

I can't get enough of life series pearl in my au

which is why i keep mentioning her, i've basically only watched her pov cause I have a hard time watching others. I wanna watch gem, lizzies(it's ies right? i'm bad with spelling names aa), and now scars. stars above, i love this series

aaaaaaaaaaaaa

secret is probably my new favorite season, idk why, maybe it's because of shiny duo alittle, but y'know :]

There's so much i wish i wanna talk about

like how Pearl said "Always Watching" to BigB

Or just any moment with Pearl and Scott, I miss their last life dynamic alot /pos /notneg

Cleo and Pearls pupper alliance breaking and Pearl saying she really wanted to be allies with Cleo, like I need fics of that so much guys omg (Big MoonRot fan!! ee)

Anytime Gem, Impulse, and Pearl were in a trio together, like omg, It's Soup Group!!! Guys!!! it's them!!! omg!!!!!!!! guys!!

Pearl walking the Warden around like a pro, i love that so much LOL

there's deffo more, but i've typed way to much LOL i just love this so much, it's insane.

#GUYS I'M SO NORMAL ABOUT THIS SERIES #aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa #secret life #life series #i'm gonna tag everyone i mentioned so yee #not tagging people i only mentioned once hmmm #pearlescentmoon #geminitay #goodtimeswithscar #bdoubleo100 #bdubs #smallishbeans #joel smallishbeans #shiny duo #idk which one is the main tag for them aaa #I mention moonrot btw. i've seen people use that duo name as a shipping thing. i don't ship them!! it's all platonic!!#I type so much omg i'm so sorry

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missycolorful · 7 months ago

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omgg, i saw a few posts about the glass child stuff but never really got too into it bc i felt like they were always missing something. i wasn't really sure what that was until i saw your post, where you mentioned lullahs abandonment issues, and everything just clicked. it just all makes sense now bc i know one of the biggest proponents to the "chays STILL a glass child" is qphils seemingly continuing to prioritize lullah over chay, when looking back at most of said moments it does feel more like a dad making sure the child who was abandoned doesnt feel like that ever again. i also feel like some of the issues come with qphils falling into habits, lullah hasn't really needed extra help in a while, but i don't feel as if that notion has fully into qphils mind yet. i would just love if both lullah and chay got one on one time with qphil bc i love them together, but i think each of them often times holds something back for the others' sake, y'know? lullah and bads and/or chay and tubbos recent solo hangouts kinda showcase the difference in dynamic. anyways, tl;dr you have amazing insight and an attention to detail that i, and i feel like a majority of others, missed out on, and i would love to see more character analysis/insights done by you, if you're interested of course!

oh my goodness, thank you you're far too kind, haha!! 😭

yeah, tbh, I'm kinda surprised that part of Phil's reasoning was either not considered or even ignored. When he mentioned them "being alone," Tallulah's abandonment issues instantly came to mind; it's a huge part of her arc, y'know? So, yeah I can't see this as him accommodating Lullah's disabilities while disregarding Chay; rather, it was him thinking about her literal trauma. If it were switched (Chay had these issues, not Lullah), Phil would go for him in a heartbeat. Why people spun it as "he wasn't worried about Chay" is wild to me.

i also feel like some of the issues come with qphils falling into habits,

mhhm, that's about the crux of it. Yes, q!Phil has trained Tallulah in PVP , and neither he nor Chay recently hover over her during pvp, but when it comes to adjusting to how much his kids have changed, we're still getting there. And not just cuz of, like I said, being separated during Purgatory makes it hard for Phil to grasp what they went through. But bc he himself isn't quite in tune with his own emotions/trauma. It's a detriment to helping his children and growing as a parent, and is part of his own character growth that he is surely yet steadily going through.

And YES! I'd LOVE for the kids to have one-on-ones with Philza. They usually come in pairs, which y'know, is what makes a lot of these issues so difficult. The kids don't have time to be alone with their father, bc they're typically online with him at the same time. I crave that sole father/son bonding, not just bc they need it, but because I love their dynamic so much <3

tbh, i usually limit my character analysis to my main POV, sometimes others if I feel confident enough (i.e. Missa, Baghera). Last thing I wanna do is write analysis that does injustice to a character - any cc!phil fan knows this pain, both in this fandom and others lol! and also some characters I'm admittedly… kinda scared to talk about bc some fans get uber defensive if you talk about any of their negative traits; all fanbases have people like this, of course, crows are NO exception, but this one specifically just… I'd need to be prompted to discuss this character whom I won't specify haha. regardless, if you or anyone else ever wants to ask about my insights on qsmp characters, whether q!Phil or others, I'm more than willing to at least give it a try. thank you again! :)

#qsmp #q!philza #tallulah #chayanne #qsmp meta #missy rambles #anon ask #thank you i really enjoy these in depth talks truly :)

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literaticat · 4 months ago

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Hi, Jenn. These recent children's imprints closings have been really sad. Is there anything we, as authors and readers, can do, aside from buying more children's/YA books?

No, and yes. No, you aren't going to stop corporate mergers. Yes, you CAN help the book industry more generally!

While some books are just straight up bestsellers that do not need your help to thrive, I'd say 90% of books and authors are hurting for attention, tbh -- and that probably includes some of your favorites. Media is so fractured / silo'ed and people are so distracted, discoverability is a huge challenge for authors.

So yes by all means please DO buy books! Give them as gifts! Pass them out to your friends! And enemies! But also: TALK ABOUT THEM! Start a book club! If you are on a budget? Use your library! Request titles they don't have! (For ebooks and audiobooks, too! Check out OverDrive and Libby!) Write reviews of books you love, or talk them up on social media!

(To paraphrase RuPaul: If we bookworms don't buy and read and talk about books, how in the hell can we expect anyone else to? CAN I GET AN AMEN UP IN HERE?)

ALL THAT BEING SAID: Imprints being bought/sold/closed etc has little to do with individual readers. Your buying three extra copies of your fav book is not going to affect an international multi-million/BILLION dollar corporation merging or divesting assets or whatever -- those kinds of decisions are above our pay grade as authors / readers / the general public! (Anyway, a publisher may be sold not because it ISN'T doing well and the owner is trying to get rid of it -- but because it is doing VERY well and a larger company wants it! Or for some other reason, something something shareholders, who knows!)

Think about it this way: You throwing your water bottle in the correct bin is good, but it's not going to stop climate change. CORPORATIONS need to stop it, GOVERNMENTS need to stop it -- your individual contribution is nice, by all means keep reducing, reusing, recycling, but it isn't YOU that is the real problem or the solution, actually. You can help not make it worse! You can rally for change and join groups and encourage corporations to make that change with your voice, your votes, etc. You can bring attention to it in whatever ways you are able! But it's not up to you as an individual to actually do the heavy part of the world-saving.

In much the same way: Getting more people to buy more books is actually a much bigger problem than your buying an extra paperback or tweeting alone can solve. It has to do in part with changing the CULTURE, with figuring out how to get all of our attention spans back, with getting kids to pick up books for fun instead of their phones, with valuing education, etc.

MOST IMPORTANTLY, IMO, the publishing industry and authors and everyone else in the country, quite frankly, would be greatly helped by investing more in teachers and libraries rather than de-funding and criminalizing them, with stopping the book banning madness that is happening, and with PLEASE GOD not letting "Project 2025" become a reality! So if you are concerned with any of these issues, do make the changes in your own life, and do use your voice, your VOTES, whatever you can do to bring attention to the issues -- join and support advocacy groups like Authors Against Book Bans, donate, yell about it! But ultimately it's going to have to be the government, and monied and powerful major entities (including corporations... like publishers!) that are going to have to step up to REALLY enact change. What you can do is show them by word and deed that you WANT that change.

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murderlacrosse · 1 year ago

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this is something i talked about on twitter but. thoughts on chuuya's happiness or lack of in the mafia after the stageplay madness ?

i don't think chuuya is unhappy in the pm but do i think he is happy ? no. he's probably not even considering his own happiness tbh.

he shackled himself to the organisation bc of the dead bodies he carries on his back and bc he's desperately searching for a meaning/purpose.

he has not changed since he was 15, in contrast to dazai who's evolved and is somewhat seeking a healthier way of life. chuuya hasn't. he's someone who was very similar to dazai and who stayed that way as a 22 y old. he has a ton of issues he hasn't solved bc he doesn't face them.

and this is literally what this scene means - chuuya was opposed to dazai in that scene and only one of them changed. he literally stayed stuck as the teenager in search of a place to feel useful, clinging onto anything that'll give him a purpose.

and another very interesting thing we have is chuuya's character emo song Darkness My Sorrow :

"The world is a bird cage, faded in colour

Even if I lament, I can't get out of this prison

Even if I get tired of the night and tear off my shackles

That eye who sees eye to eye with Kierkegaard is also here"

the whole theme of it is chuuya saying he's trapped in a cage, but fuck everyone and the world bc you know what ? he'll persevere out of spite.

but in contrast to this way of thinking, he mentions Kierkegaard, who's a philosopher known for his theory on how choice gives humans profound anguish. which i think can be related to chuuya bc choosing probably gives him that anxiety - all the choices he has to make in regards to the sheep or the pm certainly are not easy ones and they take a toll on him. one that he'll never acknowledge bc it isn't the time to hesitate or talk about feelings, it's time to act, as he says in DA or below in his song :

"Even though it feels like I might be trapped, there is no room for sentiments

I'll push myself to the limit and dye everything jet-black"

and there's also this bit :

"I'd rather just fall than go back to being alone

Staring at the destroyed cage of this self, (GRAVITY)

Slowly, I sing, "Not bad at all.""

so while yes, he did choose to be part of the pm (and won't let anyone take this act of choosing away from him), imo we have enough material to consider that chuuya is a very self-sacrificial character, with suicidal tendencies to boot. i just don't see him as a happy person ? despite doing what he wants most (protecting the city and the ppl he cares about) and living life with his very chuuya-ish moral compass, i think that he's mostly on survival and work mode.

tldr; chuuya needs to leave the mafia and do his own thing after he gets his character development

#this is just my opinion though ndkfjf #based on how i interpretated chuuya's character through sb da and other stuff #i wish one day i could have the level of eloquency in theories such as tumblr user videogamelover but alas i do not #n e ways #chuuya out of the mafia 2k23 #skk #bsd #bungo stray dogs #soukoku #nakahara chuuya

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partywithoutsmiling · 7 months ago

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do you have favourites aus or fics within the fandom?

Hello!

When it comes to AUs I am naturally more biased towards my own XD I don't have all the corners of Tumblr explored, so all my favourites are ones in the general sense (as in, I don't know their original creator)

I always like the ones where John Dory comes back to take care for Branch; another fun one is when it explores a different brother being captured by Velvet and Veneer (or even Poppy); Branch getting adopted by a different tribe is another fun one too!

I've seen AUs like Brotherhood!AU, Borrower!AU and Cult!Branch AU thrown around in the Trolls tag, but to be honest I had troubles finding more details in one coherent post, and all of them seem rather... dark? XD Tbh I am not really a fan of AUs where the Brozone bros come up as a villains or villain-adjacent pff

I definitelly have some fic favourites rn, though I read so many and several I didn't even bookmarked- but I will share the ones I like the most! (Some fics, while having a good idea and trying their best are kinda lacking in the execution, so I don't include those)

All of them are on AO3, so, in no particular order:,

No Strings Attached by Spritzy (Completed) Spritzy is fairly active Trolls fics writer, and I'd consider them a good one, so you will see their name again XD This fic is more a collection of oneshots, about whatever honestly; it's a mix of mostly World Tour related stuff

Fluffy Love by Spritzy (Completed) Again, sort of collection of oneshots, but hardcore Broppy XD The premise being that the Pop Trolls act more... wild? And have both fur, paws and tails (something I really enjoy myself pf) Spritzy seems to be adding to this fic sometimes, as it strikes their fancy, so it's always a pleasant surprise to see it pop up in my updated bookmarks!

Elapse by Dulltoned (Completed) A tiny fic that is about the Brozone brothers trying to coexist together and heal from their breakup XD it goes with various levels of success, and Branch is very much not coping pff

It Runs In The Family by Localamblogus (Completed) In addition to Floyd, Branch gets captured by Velvet and Veneer as well (JD at first tried to come up with ways to solve Floyd's capture on his own and Velvet got too tired of waiting and thus tried to lure in another brother with a fake letter) Looking for Branch, JD finally arrives in Pop Village- naturally, Poppy enlists herself to help, and is not impressed by the elder Brozone brothers as the adventure goes on XD

You Are Half Of Me Now by Localamblogus (Completed) Now THIS fic is probably my top favourite XD Set during the time where Creek betrayed Poppy and the rest of the Snack Pack, an attempt at escape fails spectacularly, causing Chef to notice Branch's lack of colours; now sepparated from the rest, even after the other trolls escape with Bridget's help, Poppy is determined to leave no troll behind. Includes fledgling Groppy/Broppy feels, and Cooper is Poppy's little adopted brother and the sibling feels are so real (A+ honestly), and Creek gets what he deserves XD Can't recommend this one enough.

Eldest and Youngest by TheMiraculousMat (Main Fic Completed) A collection, a classic 'JD returns to care for Branch'; a good execution of the concept and entertaining read, though I am now reading another fic (ongoing) that is able to execute this AU even better XD Still, I do recommend reading this one!

Clocks (Home Where I Wanted to Go) by Espionages (Incomplete) Another 'Branch Gets Captured' fic, but this time it's just poor him all alone in Velvet and Veneer's grasp; naturally, Poppy gets very concerned- and when a letter adressed to a Troll named 'Floyd' arrives, she makes it her business to find the recipient- and in the process finds out where Branch has gone. The fic itself sits on 17 chapters out of 18, and havent been updated for a month XD a shame, but here's hoping the final chapter will eventually get posted, cant do nothing but cross our fingers!

Breathe Again by Blade_That_Was_Broken (Incomplete) Possibly the only Human AU that you will see on this list (as I am not that big of a fan of those- it's hard for me to read a 'mundane' retelling with the characters, as they seem to lose most of their magical whimsy when people do that) but this is perhaps one AU that I am very invested into (it does help the writer is really excellent, and you will see more of their work on this list as well) The premise is that JD had been kicked out of the house by his parents when he was 18, and fought hard and legal battle to get his brothers in his custody. It is more complicated than that naturally, but this is the start, and the family feels are real- especially with baby Branch, who JD had no idea existed until a moment ago XD It currently sits at 6 chapters out of planned 8, and is being a part of a series, so hopefully more content for this AU will be coming!

I'm Still Here by Blade_That_Was_Broken (Main Fics Complete) A chunky 4-part fic series, where JD returns to get baby Branch after a brief stint in the Neverglades, and then takes him into the wilderness with him, figuring he can keep him more safe than if he stayed in the Troll Tree. Of course, tragedy strucks, and suddenly older and grey Branch appears in the new Troll Village, without his brother. I will leave it at that, but it's basically retelling of the Troll series with this little twist in narrative!

Smoke and Starlight by Blade_That_Was_Broken (Complete) Branch still deals with that nasty little voice in his head that is convinced all his brothers will leave him, but that doesn't stop him about inquiring about his parents, and JD is his best bet. This fic explores more about the brothers relationships and more about John Dory and his life in the past 20 years- it is very Brozone friendly fic and the family feels are of the charts, I definitelly recommend!

I'll Never Fall, Unless it's You I'm Falling For by Dinoo_Saur (Complete?) A series of oneshots, at this time only two of them, about fledgling Groppy/Broppy. I assume the writer will add to it eventually, once they feel inspired, but even those two that are here are good read!

Shattered Pieces by Icedarsha (Incomplete) Aftermath of TBT and the brothers are *baaad* at this whole brother thing XD really kinda fumbling all around, but we love them for it. The fic currently sits at 15 chapters, and haven't been updated since April 20th 2024, so we will see where the writer plans to take us

Everything Stays (Right Where You Left It) by Venusperia (Incomplete) Poor Poppy has been taken by Velvet and Veneer and she is NOT having a good time at all; in the meantime, Branch returns to his manic grey self, as he is forced to realize that he might have to try and find his brothers as the only way to shatter a diamond is Perfect Family Harmony- and sets out to do so, with Barb as his best buddy for the ride (and perhaps his handler, as Branch is just a trigger away from jumping his brothers' throats) This fic currently sits at 15 chapters, last updated April 22nd 2024- I feel kinda impatient for this one as Poppy is really having a shitty time, to the point she doesnt even fight to keep her optimism up, and Branch is just spiralling

I'll see you when I fall asleep by Idontsleepidaydream (Complete?) Series of mostly oneshots, set after events of TBT, explorations of Brozone relationship and feels, mostly focused on JD honestly, who has more issues that a rabid cat in a bag

Your Grace by Mrct (Incomplete) A series about how JD returned to the Troll Tree to care for Baby Branch, and when the Trolls made their triumphant escape, King Peppy perished in the effort. John, instinctivelly tucking little baby Poppy in his hair in the chaos of it all, suddenly gets stuck as acting regent, much to his confusion, unease and resignation XD It currently on has a 3-chapter long fic but I assume the writer plans to expand on it, which is why I recommend the series whole

I Wanna Find A Home by Isabel3710 (Incomplete) Grey little Branch decided that he is too much of a burden among the trolls of his own Tribe, and figures it is best to leave and find somewhere else to be a less of a bother. His feet leads him to the Lonesome Flats into the arms of young Delta Dawn, who cannot on good conscience allow this poor little trolling to struggle, even though he is probably a Pop Troll (And honestly, seeing the mess he is, all the better he left them and found the Country Tribe in her opinion) Currently sitting at 3 chapters, last updated at April 30th 2024, I cant honestly wait to see Branch find the family he deserves <3

Weightless by Sunfox (Incomplete) When Chef attacks, both Poppy and Peppy gets captured along with the Snack Pack, leaving the Pop Tribe leaderless. With contingency plans in motions, they decide to evacuate, but Sky Toronto knows he has to let Branch knows what happened- either in effort to convince him to come along or to know to stay put in his bunker. Branch instead decided he cannot on good conscience let any trolls get eaten and sets out to save Poppy and the rest from certain doom. Currently sitting at 2 out of 3 chapters planned, and last updated only few days ago, it is honestly more of a 'snack' than a full sized fic XD But I enjoy the exploration of the events

Birdie by TurnedWorm (Incomplete) Clay managed to happed upon grey Branch just as the Trolls were escaping through the tunnels and now reunited, off with the (future) Putt Putt trolls they go; fic that explores the very early struggles of survival of the sepparated tribe, while Clay tries to be the best guardian for Branch as well. Currently sitting at 3 chapters and sadly last updated in march, but hope is still holding that the writer will continue it XD

Torrent by ASamwich (Incomplete) Grey Branch is having a very bad time; nearly drowning in his bunker when storm caused his seals to break through and flood his lower levels, he is then found by concerned Poppy in the midst of battling a serious infection. With his bunker pretty much inhabitable right now and him being ill, he is forced to accept help and dragged kicking and screaming into friendship XD Currently sitting at 5 chapters and last updated at the beginning of April, it is one of those 'I hope it will get continued eventually' fics pff

Field of Forgetmenots by EmpressGeek (Incomplete) A planned series probably spanning multiple fic (the first one sitting at 4 chapters and complete), it explores a sudden growing sibling relationship between Grey Branch and Keith, a little oddball trolling who seems to be fitting badly among his peers. Very sweet with hint of trauma on Branch's part, and I am at the edge of my seat, waiting for more XD

Dereliction by Jellfish (Incomplete) This is, in my opinion, THE fic about John Dory returning to take care for Branch (After Rosiepuff's death and after the escape from the Troll Tree) Thinking he will find a happy little trolling, JD instead finds a little malnourished neglected scrappy thing, and is not only horrified and angry, but also terribly guilty about ever leaving. Currently sitting at 36 chapters and updated fairly regularly, I really cannot recommend this one enough!

Rewinding our Fate by Trollsbuzz (Incomplete) Perhaps the only time travel fic written with some style and quality that makes it readable XD It is rushing through the Broppy rather fast in my opinion, and some things feel a bit OOC, buuuut it's nothing major and it is enjoyable read! Currently sitting at 41 chapters and being updated fairly regularly, so here's hoping it will continue so!

Now, the remaining 3 Fanfic recommendations are all Anonymous and Incomplete (Sadly seems the authors didn't want to be associated with writing for Trolls franchise but oh well)

A Litte Winter Miracle Grey Branch suddenly and to his horror finds abandoned egg in the snow, and overcome with protective urges is unable to just pass it along to anyone else. Reconnecting with Kismet, he is slowly settling into his sudden parent role (in secret from most other Trolls, including Poppy and the Snack Pack). Adding to bit of feral behaviour from Branch, it makes for a very easy read- currently sitting at 24 chapters and last updated at April 26th, it is one I am really hoping that will continue XD

I'm Gonna Make This Place Your Home Kid Grey Branch got accidentally mistaken for a rock tribe trolling by teenage Barb, and hauled of to the angler buses before anyone could even blink XD With a nice portrayal of autistic Branch, it's one of THE 'accidental sibling acquisitions', but Barb can't complain as she got the awesomest little brother out of the deal. Currently sitting at 14 chapters and last updated at April 24th, it gives me some hope it will continue XD

Stuck With You Instead of the whole Velvet and Veneer plotline, we get Cashmere, who strives to be a more of a Country Pop singing sensation- and John Dory and Delta Dawn happens to be her unfortunate victims. Featuring miserable John Dory who, after 20 years, doesnt hold much hopes that anyone would even care he is gone, and rather furious Delta Dawn who can't believe she got stuck with a Pop Troll and is determined to escape. Do I sense a future romance brewing...? (I sure hope so!) Currently at 3 chapters and last updated on May 1st, I am fairly optimistic this one is ongoing!

So those are my recommendations! Hopefully I did not mess up the links but you can always search for them manually XD

#trolls #dreamworks trolls #trolls fandom #fic recommendation #trolls fic #anon ask #ask

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ratwife77 · 6 months ago

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video game concepts/headcanons

very long post

if i continue w/ this, each character will get a link to start the "game" which would be a choose your own adventure

but it'd take forever because I'd have to script interactions and junk plus potentially making a soc version, then maybe collaborate with someone to get the Shepard stuff done (I know nothing about them and don't want to butcher their characters)

Recommended that you grab a piece of paper to calculate money, happiness, relationship points, etc. You may also get a spinner for chance if you’d rather not select (some decisions will be labeled, some will be numbered so it’s just chance either way) Recommended for free play (fighting): Dally. Recommended for free play (quests and playtime): Darry- warning, very difficult. Not recommended: Steve (due to his lack of ‘screen time’, I have less of a grasp on his character and could not be as in depth and remain faithful to his character) First of all, choose your path: Greaser edition

Benefits: you have tuff hair

Choose a greaser:

Dallas

Benefits: he has fought a lot, and you may use the ability to see an opponent’s weakness(es) if you are calm enough (number of times this is able to be done is based on difficulty). He may be able to bluff his way out of a fight (can be done with or without gone, more or less likely with gun depending on the opponent)- impossible on hard difficulty. Drawbacks: has many enemies, you will be attacked OFTEN. Rare chance for you to be taken to detention center for someone else’s crime because of your record. You have a meter that shows your level of anger (occasionally glitches to see sadness/other emotions bar underneath), that can be used for upgrades (not purchased by cash) or if it gets too high you die (like the end of the actual book..) Extra: you have many interactions with Tim, can be turned into fights if you wish.

Side quests/minigames:

Avoid Tim

Go see Tim

Bartend

Poker

Pool

Keep an eye on Johnny and Pony

Steal (can be successful or unsuccessful)

Lie game w/ fuzz (or truth and getting out of crime you didn’t do)- related to memory games, logical (you must state an alibi based on all the things you’ve done)

Darry

Benefits: he has the largest default number for attack points, and most enemies leave him alone due to his reputation and large stature. Drawbacks: you have life or death quests like Steve, but you have to do them for 3 people. You also have a vinaigrette effect on your screen that may consume it. This is due to you being overworked, and the only way to make it go away is to skip a day of work. (this will lose you 10 dollars.. dangerous). Another thing with this effect- when fighting enemies, you may miss a turn because you are too tired to go fast enough. (if an enemy sees you tired without you hiding, they will attack on sight) Also, if Soda or Pony catches you without you using the function to hide your exhaustion, you will be forced to skip work or argue. (if you lose enough relationship w/ them, PB will run away, and Soda will be sad and not talk to you.)

Side Quests/minigames:

Mostly explained tbh

The disguise/hide function

Work

Check Pony’s homework

Bake chocolate cake

Budgeting (will effect a lot of gameplay)

Grocery shopping (must have needs met, and if you meet wants, happiness boost for PB and Soda)

Cleaning for social worker

Keeping from crying until you are in your room (if you lose, there is a false game over screen that you must click through. Then, you will see a screen where you and your brothers are hugging)

Soda

Benefits: charm/charisma function (+10 friendship/relationship points on any interaction). On normal mode, Steve has a 30% chance to spawn during fights and help you. Drawbacks: you have a ton of side quests related to comforting others, and during these, you must multitask and push down your own feelings (a button will be dedicated to this). You also have to play meditator, in which you essentially help both sides play tug of war, evening things out and making each side see the other one. If you fail, Pony runs away and you don’t have a game over, but the world becomes duller (actually, the colors change for real) and during every interaction you must push your feelings down. If you are caught, you have to talk your way out of it. (only allows wins, required for story.. forced lose when PB gets back)

Extra: smile function (just for funsies)

Side quests/minigames:

Meditator (tug of war w/ logic and emotion)

Push feelings down

Write letter to Sandy

Make Darry laugh

Work

Clean the house

Bake cake

Dye food

Two-Bit

Benefits: you can say something funny/off the wall enough to distract opponents and escape (only works sometimes). You also are more likely to not be caught in the steal minigame than anyone else. Drawbacks: if you go into a store, you are forced to play the steal minigame which can cause a game over if lost (unless Dallas takes the blame, rare chance- playing off of a book event where Two-Bit smashed windows and he took the blame). If Dallas does take the blame and goes to jail, if the event is set off where PB and Johnny run away, you have to help them instead (you are closest to PB other than Soda and Johnny). Along with this, you are drunk often, so you may be taken by surprise more in fights. Due to your drunkenness, you also can’t work and have to borrow money for upgrades by doing tasks for other greasers. (upgrades that are beyond food, Two-Bit’s switchblade, and drink cannot be stolen).

Side quests/minigames:

Stealing (specifically the blade, but anything)

Randomized tasks from other greasers

Looking for PB and J

Johnny

Benefits: you are willing to kill to keep yourself and others safe, meaning you die the least in battles (I had to give him something, okay). You also have great survival skills and can live without help for however long is necessary. (he’s on his own a lot soooo). Drawbacks- people target you because you look weak and small. You have to play the minigame “watch” often.

Side quests/minigames:

Watch- you have to look at your surroundings closely, everytime you go anywhere.

Start a fire

Cigarette run

Steal (likely win, you are stealthy)

Listen/comfort (PB)

School

Ponyboy

Benefits: call (able to call a nearby greaser once every three to five fights, depending on difficulty you selected). Intelligence (if you read, you may gain knowledge that can help you anywhere in the game). Drawbacks: you are small, so you must complete extra minigames to win with strategy or use call. You have your head in the clouds, so you may get surprise attacks more often, and you have the chance to receive timed tasks late and suffer the consequences if they are not done on time. You also can escalate fights because of your sass, which can trigger you running away w/ Johnny (basically what happened to Bob in the book will happen). Extra: you get more interactions with Johnny, Two-Bit, and Sodapop, but less with Steve and Darry. Based on the choices you make, Dallas interactions vary. Curly is optional, but you can interact with him more than any other character can.

Sidequests/minigames

Cigarette run

Get stuff for chocolate cake

Go to the library

Do something stupid with Curly

Avoid Darry

Do homework

Keep worry at bay

Homework

Avoid socs (forced loss)

Make cake!

Track (possible forced loss because of smoking)

Strategy minigames

Reading

Steve

Benefits: you have the most money (due to being kicked out and paid) and can purchase upgrades easier. Soda has a 30% chance (on normal mode) to show up during battles. Drawbacks: you get kicked out sometimes and have extra quests that are life or death (depending on how long you play, you may gain a tolerance and be less affected by needs, depending on your selected difficulty). You have to do extra quests to keep your anger down, or you may be hurt by reckless fighting or hurt your friends

Sidequests/minigames:

Survive the night (2 modes of completion)

Go to work/school

Drag Races

Evie

Pay attention! (School)

Break up/stay together (Evie and Steve fight)

Try not to lose your shit (any character around him, may lose or may not)

Poker

Mess with Pony

Upgrades

You can buy cigarettes, which will boost happiness 20% per time used (5 uses)- 3$(only bought twice)

You can buy a soda, thirst decreases 50%- 1.50$ (bought 5 times)

Chips are the same but for hunger

Paper (specific to PB)- 1$, infinite times (used to write story, you have to buy these as you complete story mode)

Gone With The Wind- 5$ (one time buy) required for Story Mode, but can be used for extra interactions with Johnny/PB in free play

Cake ingredients (unspecified)- 3$, once cooked, increase happiness by 50% and hunger decreases 10%

Two-Bit’s switchblade (for Two-Bit in freeplay. If you actually pay for it and don’t steal it, you will get a funny message regarding the strange occurrence)

Upgrades (emotion meter, some available to all characters, some not)

+10 strength- 50 points (available to everyone except PB and Johnny- I want you to feel their size/build and difference from other greasers)

+5 strength- 40 points (for PB and Johnny)

+extra life (90 points, risky to get this high- only for Darry, Dallas, and Steve)

+10 hp/ grit- 45 points (+20 for Johnny, same price)

+get another character’s special ability- 90 points (everyone)

+get another character’s special ability and one of their drawbacks (you can’t choose which drawback)- 70 points (everyone)

Relationship meter

You may create romantic relationships, but only approved ones (I’m sorry but this fandom has ethically questionable relationships and I’d rather not)

Or friendships

Any romantic builders will be labeled with hearts to minimize confusion. You may turn romance off.

#ponyboy curtis #johnny cade #dallas winston #the outsiders #sodapop curtis #darry curtis #the outsiders headcanons #headcanons #two bit mathews #steve randle

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