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redrobinhoods · 4 years ago

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“you have to let me go” | Febuwhump 2021

TW: Major Character Death

A/N: Y’all ready for the most tender whump I have ever written? AU where the clones’ rapid aging stops at 18 or a serum was administered to some to stop it.

Summary: A stormtrooper is sent to kill a Jedi.

AO3 Link | Febuwhump Index

Tatooine was hot. It had every right to be, with binary suns that beat down relentlessly onto its sands that reflected their rays across the landscape, making everything awash with golden light.

He had been golden once too.

But no longer. He had not been golden in a very long time, long enough for the clone to question if he ever was, or if he had just bought into the propaganda. Either way, his armor was as bare as the armor of the young men around him, save for the orange pauldron denoting his rank. The Imperial Army was the first one in which he had served where he felt that everyone looked the same. There was no identity for a stormtrooper.

“Target identified. Identity confirmed.” Read out the man beside him as he peered through the macrobinoculars. “Guess our information was correct.”

“That would be a first.” The commander said impassively. The officers who surrounded him believed him to be a man prone to deadpan comedy. The rookies, for they were called rookies now, believed him to be humorless and cruel. The commander wasn’t sure himself which side of the spectrum he fell on anymore.

“You can say that again, sir.” Laughed the heavy weapons specialist beside him. He fell into the first category. He also had a name, but the commander had stopped associating names with the men under him long ago. He knew their names, their numbers, their entire history within the Imperial Army, but once the white armor fell over his body, they were all indistinguishable stormtroopers.

The commander drew his blaster. This was a battle fifteen years in the making, he would not fail his Empire again. “Let’s move out.”

The Jedi spotted them immediately and switched his course away from the crowded streets, heading into back alleys and quiet roads. He was anticipating a fight and drawing them away from civilians, a move the commander knew well and approved of. His men did not have the trigger disciple that had been installed in him. Stray blasterfire followed the Imperial Army like the commander’s sins.

The Jedi led them into a deserted hanger before stopping, turning around to face them and dropping his cloak, but not yet igniting his blade. “May I ask the occasion?”

The commander was silent, frozen in place at the sight of the man before him. The fifteen years that had marked their parting had not been kind to the Jedi, but he was still unmistakably himself. He could hear one of his men reading the articles of the purge to the Jedi, but it was lost to him as he held back the emotions that he had put away at the end of the Clone War. He would not fail to them again.

The commander was the first to raise his blaster, looking down the barrel straight at the brush of hair he used to push away from the man’s forehead, and fired.

The man reflected the blaster bolt away from them as his lightsaber sprung to life in his hands.

The commander’s squad moved in, opening fire all at once, the blasterfire overwhelming for all but the most-trained Jedi. But Obi-Wan Kenobi had been a Jedi Master and a practitioner of Soresu. Watching the man’s blade arc to reflect away the blasterfire, the commander concluded that he was still a master of Soresu. It was not long before the commander’s squad lay dead at his feet.

“Who are you?” The man questioned, letting his blade fall lax at his side.

“If you’re asking that question, you already know the answer.” The commander responded.

“I want to hear you say it.”

“A stormtrooper commander in the service of the Empire.” He had no name now.

“Well, you must be rather prestigious if they sent you.” Kenobi was baiting him, but he’d had fifteen long years to respond to the bait.

He let his blaster fall to the floor and reached for the vibroblade dagger at his side. This death would be personal. There was no mercy in his strikes as he swung the blade at the Jedi, forcing the man to dodge or to bring up his blade in protection. Forcing him to strike back. The commander went for the Jedi’s throat, leaving himself open to attack. His strike was blocked by a hand around his wrist and he felt the heat of a lightsaber on his own throat, even through the layers of armor.

“I have orders to kill you.”

“But that’s not why you’re here.” Those beautiful blue eyes could always read his mind. “You came here to die.”

The commander’s arm was beginning to shake against the Jedi’s grip on his wrist. “I came here to finish what we started.”

“I will not kill you.”

“You won’t have a choice.”

“We both have a choice this time.”

The Jedi’s gravity was too much and the vibroblade fell from his fingers.

“Cody.”

The weight of his name on his enemy’s lips was enough to finally fell him. The commander’s legs gave out from under him and the Jedi fell with him, catching him in his arms and pulling him close.

“Cody.” Obi-Wan whispered as he wrapped his arms around Cody’s body, pulling his helmet to rest in the crook of his neck.

“I’m not- I’m not-.” He couldn’t bear to say his former name anymore.

“You have always been my Cody.”

If he didn’t know any better, he would have believed it as he allowed himself to melt into Obi-Wan’s embrace. The years had not been kind to the man, but the body under Cody’s touch was unmistakably that of the man whose love Cody had locked away from himself for years, alongside their names. When the embrace ended, Cody sat up and slowly removed his helmet, baring his face. The distraction worked as Obi-Wan’s gaze locked on his features, and Cody snatched the lightsaber from his grasp. He had not held a lightsaber since the war, but he remembered how it had once felt in his hand as he pressed the metal to his breast. “I have my orders. Kill you or die.”

Obi-Wan’s fingers wrapped around Cody’s, prying them away from the ignition. “I cannot allow either of those things to occur.”

“Please.” He could see Obi-Wan’s eyes soften at the desperation on his face.

“I won’t hurt you.” He protested, just as Cody had imagined he would.

“You could never hurt me. I won’t feel a thing if you light the blade.”

Obi-Wan shook his head. “I just got you back.”

Cody’s hands fell from the handle in defeat. Himself he could hurt, he would push his body until it broke, but the pain that he was inflicting on the man he had sworn to never hurt reflected on himself tenfold.

“Come back with me.” Obi-Wan drew the lightsaber away. “Come to my house, eat with me.”

“I will not eat. If you do not kill me, I will allow myself to die rather than obey the Empire.”

Something broke in Obi-Wan’s eyes. “You will eat, and you will watch the sunset with me, and you may lay by my side if you wish, and I promise you, you will not wake.” One last day.

“I accept.”

---

The blankets covering the rough bed were coarse, but they enveloped him as softly as Obi-Wan’s arms, wrapping themselves around Cody’s waist and pulling him close so that his bare back was pressed to Obi-Wan’s bare chest. Then the warm skin behind him pulled away to be replaced by the gentle brush of Obi-Wan’s beard as he pressed kisses to the scars covering Cody’s shoulders, some familiar to him, most not. The tension in Cody’s body melted away with each kiss, each dedication of his former general’s love for him.

“Do you want to…?” The request died on his lips with uncertainty. He was content, but he couldn’t read Obi-Wan’s mind like the man could read his.

“Not if you’re not up for it.” Obi-Wan pressed a firm kiss to the base of Cody’s neck before pulling him back to his chest and resting his head on the nape of his neck. “What do you want?” He would not intrude on Cody’s thoughts without permission.

“Just hold me.”

Obi-Wan pressed his lips to Cody’s skin once more. “I’ll never let you go.”

“You’ll have to let me go one day.” Cody huffed.

“No, no I don’t.”

“I want you to.”

“Relationships are about compromise, my dear.”

For a few moments, Cody was silent as he weighed his next words. “I still love you.”

“And I you.” Obi-Wan reassured him. “I don’t think I ever stopped loving you.”

“Even after I tried to kill you?”

“It wasn’t you. We were both victims.”

Cody closed his eyes and brought up a hand to rest over Obi-Wan’s crossed arms. “Thank you.” He could face death without remorse in his lover’s embrace.

---

He woke to find death not so different than life. The familiarity of the room he had fallen asleep in, the still-warm bed at his back, his feeling of himself in his body. But when the smell of cooking reached him, he realized why.

“You lied to me.” He spat as he stormed into the kitchen.

Obi-Wan, fully clothed now, stood over the stove watching over a frying pan. “I did.”

Cody collided with him hard, forcing him against the wall. “Why?”

Obi-Wan didn’t struggle under his grip. “Because I love you. I tried, Cody, I tried to keep my promise, but I couldn’t lose you again.”

For a moment, Cody thought that he was going to hit him. But when the rush of emotion ended he found that his arms had remained still as his head moved forward to kiss Obi-Wan. Anger gave way to monumental relief as he took in the breath of the man he loved. Obi-Wan’s hand moved up to tangle his fingers in the short curls that Cody’s regulation cut allowed and pull him deeper into the kiss until Cody’s knees shook. Only then did Obi-Wan allow him to draw away. “Breakfast is burning.”

“I don’t care.” Cody bent back down to press a softer kiss to Obi-Wan’s lips.

Obi-Wan kissed him back as he pushed himself away from the wall, slowly turning their bodies until he had Cody trapped. Then he stepped back. “You will care when the house is on fire.”

Cody stood still in the corner, watching Obi-Wan flip the food in the skillet. When the food was no longer in danger of bursting into flames, Obi-Wan turned back to him. “Come here.” When Cody had crossed the room to stand behind him, Obi-Wan reached back and pulled his hands around his waist. Cody gave into the want without thinking, leaning his head down to rest on Obi-Wan’s shoulder as he watched the food cook.

“Let’s make a new deal.” Cody said.

“What deal is that?”

“I can ask you at any time to fulfill your promise, and you will. But I will refrain from it unless there is no other choice. I will not be a mindless slave again.” He knew Obi-Wan would understand the unspoken part of his request, concerning one order executed unwillingly.

Obi-Wan’s shoulders tensed under Cody for a moment, before relaxing as he sighed. “Okay.”

And promises were kept. Even on the nights when everything in his soul burned, Cody held back from his request as he shook in Obi-Wan’s arms. On those nights, he made himself a different promise- he would see the sunset once more. The sunsets were the only thing on Tatooine comparable to home, when he and his brothers could stand out on the platforms above the waters of Kamino and watch the waves kick up the dying light. Here, the waves of sand spread the pink and purple spread of the dying sunlight around just as the waves at home once had. Maybe they still did, but he couldn’t go home anymore. The Empire had taken that from him too. But they hadn’t taken Obi-Wan, who still looked at him as he had before and whose touch was as gentle as ever despite the rough life he had endured.

In the end, Cody was glad to have found him again. The headaches meant nothing at first, it was easy to become dehydrated on Tatooine, neither did the nausea, the heat that burned down from the suns was nauseating and the blinding sunlight could disorient even the most seasoned being. It was only when he woke and couldn’t move the left side of his body that the problem became real.

He had tried to make light of the situation. “Guess they just go bad.” But he knew, and Obi-Wan knew, what had happened on Ringo Vinda.

That was how he found himself on the cliff’s edge near Obi-Wan’s home, watching the binary sunset color the sands beneath them.

“We don’t have to do this.” But Obi-Wan knew as well as he that they did.

“I will not die a mindless slave to the Emperor. And I will not let that man try to hurt you.” He knelt down in the sand before Obi-Wan. “Please.”

Obi-Wan knelt before him, his head silhouetted like a god by the light of the suns, and slowly drew his lightsaber from its belt. Cody guided the handle to his chest, holding it there while he pressed a hand to Obi-Wan’s jaw and leaned forward to tenderly kiss him, putting all of his love and regrets into the act of love.

“Thank you.” He whispered to him as he drew back, leaving his hand cupping Obi-Wan’s cheek.

“I love you.” Tears were beginning to well in Obi-Wan’s eyes.

“And I love you.” Cody gently wiped the tears away with his thumb as the grip of his other hand tightened on the handle of the lightsaber. “But you have to let me go.”

He had been right before, he never felt the blade. Only his hand falling from Obi-Wan’s face. As the strength drained from his body, Obi-Wan caught him, gently lowering him into his lap. The last thing Cody saw was Obi-Wan’s silhouette in the golden light. Golden. He had been golden once too.

#codywan #commander cody #obi-wan kenobi #febuwhump #febuwhumpday28

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lakmesalon · 3 years ago

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Which are the best beauty products for oily skin?

One of the most frequent skin problems is oily skin. It comes with its own set of problems, such as glossy skin and acne breakouts.

What's the good news? These problems can be alleviated with the appropriate skincare routine and products.

We turned to a handful of skincare specialists to figure out how to care for an oily complexion. We especially asked them to provide their best advice for building an oily skin daily skincare routine.

For those with oily skin, this may seem all too familiar: By midday, everyone seems to be able to see their reflection in your brow. The radiance is real! Then there's the fact that oily skin is more prone to breakouts due to an overabundance of sebum, which can lead to clogged pores, blackheads, and outbreaks.

That's why the best skincare products for oily skin maintain your complexion fresh and healthy while reducing shine. It's typical for people with oily skin to believe that they can do without moisturizer, yet oily skin can be both greasy and dry at the same time.

Furthermore, a dry complexion might increase oil production even more. That's why it's so important to discover the appropriate skincare routine. These are the best face care products for oily skin, including mattifiers, moisturizers, and cleansers.

Here are the best beauty products for oily skin:

Lakme 9 To 5 Naturale Day Creme

If the pollution is causing your skin to look dull, then this cream is a must for you. It is enriched with the goodness of pure Aloe Vera known to be soothing and nourishing the skin.

This lightweight cream can hydrate and brighten the stressed skin that helps to protect the skin from pollution-induced dullness and dryness that can rob you of the natural glow.

The non-sticky and light texture of this day cream can also help the skin to breathe while keeping it protected against external aggressors. This face cream also contains SPF 20 which protects the skin from Sun's Harmful UV Rays keeping it naturally bright every day.

Lakme Absolute Perfect Radiance Skin Lightening Fairness Day Crème

This Lakme Face Cream is elevated with a new level of luxury and efficacy. It will make your skin flawless and illuminating. It has precious micro-crystals and skin lightening vitamins that will provide a fair, illuminated look. Its moisture-rich ultra-light formula will make your skin silky.

The formulation gently polishes the skin revealing its illuminating appearance. It has a sunscreen with SPF 30 that can protect the skin from sun damage. Along with luminous, glowing skin, it will provide an even skin tone preventing dark spots, blemishes, and breakouts.

Lakme Absolute Hydra Pro Overnight Gel

Wake plump skin with an instant rush of hydration from Lakme Hydra Pro Range. It can help to boost the skin’s hydration ability while sleeping. Its luxurious gel formula is infused with advanced HA-PENTA complex & Hyaluronic acid which is a revolutionary water bank molecule.

Dermalogica Daily Superfoliant

This highly active Resurfacer can provide the smoothest skin ever and helps you to fight the biochemical and environmental triggers which can increase aging. When this formula comes in contact with water it releases powerful Enzymes, skin-smoothing Alpha Hydroxy Acids, and Anti-Pollution Technology which can help to absorb environmental toxins deep within the pores.

Dermalogica Skin Perfect Primer

This make-up primer from Dermalogica can provide sunscreen and treatment for anti-aging. It has a velvety formula with Soy protein that helps to even out the skin texture, creating a smoother surface. It also helps in making the skin firm because Broad Spectrum sunscreens help shield against sun damage.

What causes oily skin?

Have you noticed that your skin is a touch shinier than usual? The truth is that everyone's skin contains oil. A sebaceous gland produces natural oils called sebum under each of your pores. It aids in the hydration and health of your skin.

The sebaceous glands, on the other hand, can create too much oil in some persons. It results in greasy skin.

If your skin is continually glossy and you go through multiple blotting sheets every day, you have oily skin. Within hours of cleansing, oily skin can feel greasy.

Because sebum mixes with dead skin cells and gets caught in your pores, breakouts are more likely.

Genetic, environmental, and behavioral factors all contribute to oily skin. While you won't be able to completely eliminate oily skin, you can take action to make it less greasy.

One or more of these seven underlying reasons must be identified.

Genetics

Oily skin is a trait that runs in families. You're more likely to have overactive sebaceous glands if one of your parents has oily skin.

Age

While oily skin does not necessarily go away as you get older, it does produce less sebum. Protein, such as collagen, is lost as skin ages, and the sebaceous glands slow down.

This is why so many people with dry skin also have aging skin. Because of the lack of collagen and sebum, fine lines and wrinkles are more visible at this time.

One advantage of having oily skin is that you may not age as quickly as those with dry skin.

You may have oily skin now, but as you get older, you'll need to examine your skin. Even in their 30s, people's skin composition may differ from that of their teens and 20s.

Every few years, you can consult an aesthetician to assess your skin type and see whether any adjustments to your skincare program are required.

Where you live and the time of year

While the fundamental causes of oily skin are largely determined by genetics and age, where you live and the time of year can also have an impact.

In hot, humid settings, people's skin tends to be oilier. During the summer, you're also more likely to have oil on your skin than you would in the fall or winter.

While you may not be able to pick up and move away due to your oily skin, you can alter your regular routine on days when the temperature and humidity are high.

Throughout the day, have blotting papers on hand to wipe up any extra oil. Excess oil can also be absorbed with a matte moisturizer or foundation.

Enlarged pores

Because of age, weight fluctuations, and previous breakouts, your pores might sometimes extend out. Pores that are larger tend to produce more oil.

You won't be able to minimize your pores, but you can take extra precautions during the day to blot parts of your face with big pores.

#lakme face wash #lakme face cream #skincare #online beauty store #beauty

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profoundsheepbarbarian · 3 years ago

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A Beginner's Guide To Acoustic Treatment

An account of an acoustic newbie's journey from bare walls to a well‑balanced, sonically pleasant space.

The physics of the propagation of sound is immensely complicated, and when the assortment of materials that make up the walls, floors and ceiling (plus any windows, doors and furniture) are added to the equation, it's very difficult to predict what will happen to sound waves once they've left their source. What's more, every room is different, and it's not just the dimensions that will dictate how the room will sound... Imagine two rooms of the same shape and size. One has two‑metre-thick concrete walls, and the other a single‑layer plasterboard stud-wall. Even with those brief, albeit extreme descriptions, you probably know already that the two rooms will sound very different. Add in the multitude of room shapes, sizes, wall‑construction methods and surfaces found in home studios, and it becomes impossible to provide a one-size-fits-all guide to acoustic panel treatment.

The subject of acoustics is regularly discussed in SOS, but plenty of readers still ask for the subject to be covered from a much more basic starting point. What follows is a look at installing acoustic treatment from a complete beginner's perspective: some basic, essential information, along with a bit of advice from acoustics professionals that should give you the confidence to get started. I'll follow this up by taking you step by step through my own recent experience of treating a room.

Why Bother With Acoustic Treatment?

Untreated rooms have an uneven frequency response, which means that any mixing decisions you make are being based on a sound that is 'coloured', because you can't accurately hear what's being played. In short, you can't possibly tell how your mix will sound when played back anywhere else. It isn't just an issue for mixing, though, because any recordings you make of acoustic instruments will bear all the hallmarks of the space in which you record them. That may be a good thing if the space in question is Ocean Way or SARM West, but probably preposterously bad if it's your living room or bedroom. So, if you want your mixes to transfer well, and your recordings to be free of room 'honk', you need to pay attention to the acoustic properties of your environment — no matter how good the gear you're using.

First Things First

The first thing to grasp is the outcome you want to achieve. It's a common misconception that acoustic treatment with acoustic ceilings or acoustic baffles should kill all reverberation, and that you want a room covered floor‑to‑ceiling with foam tiles: this isn't what you're aiming for. You also need to bear in mind the limitations imposed by space and budget: most home studios are small in comparison with the Abbey Roads and AIR Lyndhursts of this world, and many home‑studio owners simply don't have the funds for bespoke treatment solutions.

So what is the aim? Andy Munro, acoustic design specialist, remarks, "acoustic design is the science that restores a neutral sound balance”. Applying that science means interfering with the path of sound to control the sound energy. Jorge Castro, chief acoustician at Vicoustic, says that "in the case of affordable treatment, we need to control the energy of the sound first. Then we can take care of the sound quality. With small spaces, bass frequencies are always a problem, and we should control the low frequencies as much as we can.” In fact, he continues, "In small rooms, I've never heard people saying they have too much absorption of low frequencies.”

Absorption & Diffusion: What, Where, Why?

To achieve the right balance, there are two main approaches: absorption and diffusion. Products that have absorptive properties include foam and rigid mineral-wool (see the 'DIY & Rockwool' box), and they 'soak up' the sound energy, turning it into heat, through friction. Most effective on high‑frequencies, absorption is essential for reducing flutter echoes and for taming bright‑sounding or 'ringy' rooms. Bass trapping is also a type of absorption, but is specifically designed to absorb low‑frequency energy. A clever combination of soft, hard, thick and thin materials, including air, is used to make the most efficient bass trap, and an empty gap between the wall and the back of the trap helps to make it even more effective.

Diffusion is the scattering of sound energy using multi‑faceted surfaces. Diffusers are commonly made of wood, plastic, or even polystyrene. Jorge Castro explains: "diffusion helps in energy control and improves the sound quality in frequencies throughout the middle and high range of the spectrum, and also improves sweet‑spot image.” The 'sweet spot' is the place between the speakers where you should be sitting to get the best stereo image (imagine that your head and the two speakers form an equilateral triangle). That pretty much concludes the theory: now for the practice!

Getting Started

Before undertaking this project, I'd read plenty about acoustics, but had never attempted to properly treat a room myself: the nearest I'd come was propping foam panels against the walls to tame flutter in the spare‑room‑cum‑studio of my rented house. I hadn't been able to glue or screw anything to the walls, for fear of incurring my landlord's wrath, and the thought of retouching the paintwork after tearing strips of self‑adhesive velcro pained me too! So this was very much a learning experience.

The space in question included an area that would provide a reasonable‑sized live room, and another that would serve as a small control room, and although both were important, I really wanted to get the performance space right. I decided that I'd buy commercially available panels, because I simply didn't have the time, space or inclination for the DIY option. Most manufacturers of acoustic products also offer a consultation service, and they often have free on‑line calculators to help you decide on a suitable treatment option, too, so even if you choose the DIY route this can be a sensible place to start, and fabric acoustic panels are also available.

I chose to get my treatment from Vicoustic, a company relatively new to the UK acoustic‑treatment market who make a range of products for studios and home theatres. I told them that, as this was the only live room for a small project studio, it needed to be quite versatile, with both a 'dead' corner for dry recordings and a more ambient space to liven up acoustic recordings where needed. I'd expected a solution with almost complete wall coverage, foam panels and diffusers covering every square inch, but Vicoustic came back with a plan that surprised me, which suggested that total coverage wasn't necessary.

In fact, Jorge says that the typical home studio needs only between 30 and 40 percent coverage to adequately treat it. So don't go over the top: remember that we're trying to control the energy, or "restore the natural sound balance,” and not to kill the sound completely.

As for the proportion of diffusion to absorption, Jorge says, "some believe it should be 50 percent absorption and 50 percent diffusion. In the home studio, because of budget and space constraints, the actual proportion can vary considerably.”

Planning

So, you've decided on your acoustic foam treatment, you've had it delivered, and it's piled in the middle of the room. The next step is sticking it up on the walls, right? Well yes... but you also want to make sure that it goes in the right place, partly to optimise its acoustic performance, and partly because you don't want it to look like it's been put up by a two‑year old! As a first‑timer, I found it useful to have the 3D drawings Vicoustic had supplied, as they enabled me to plan precisely where each panel would go. You can create a computer‑generated version of your room yourself using a freeware 3D drawing programme such as Google Sketchup (http://sketchup.google.com). This may seem a bit over the top (sketches on the back of an envelope would do the job), but it can provide a useful guide to print out and use like a map during installation. What's more, you can plan the look of a room, moving tiles and panels around on the computer instead of having to rip them off the wall if they look silly.

Measure Twice, Stick Once

With my 'map' in hand, it was time to mark up the walls. The Vicoustic plans showed the panels equally spaced along the walls, but without any dimensions or measurements to indicate how to space the tiles, so I measured the whole room and planned the position of all the panels supplied. A quick and easy formula for plotting the position of a row of equally spaced panels soon emerged. To calculate the distance between each panel, and between the end panels and the walls, you just measure the length of the wall, subtract the total width of all the panels to be fixed to it, then divide that figure by the number of gaps between panels (or by the number of panels plus one). Marking up is then a cinch, but to get things looking good, you'll need to mark the corner points and will require a spirit level and a spare pair of hands. Once plotted and marked, it's also a good idea to double‑check that you have the same number of actual panels as you have on your plan!

Stick 'Em Up!

With the planning done, it's time to stick the panels to the walls and ceiling. The way you do this depends on the type of treatment you're applying. Large, framed panels will come with brackets and (hopefully) sturdy fixings, whereas foam‑based tiles will need to be glued, using an aerosol‑based product or a tube of paste‑like glue that needs a skeleton gun. Spray‑mounting can often give less than satisfactory results, so I was glad to discover that the Vicoustic delivery included the tube variety. With just two tubes supplied, though, I soon had to resort to alternatives, and found that the sticky gunk used to fix mirrors to walls worked exceptionally well.

To prevent the glue squidging out from the sides of the panels, I piped the glue on no less than an inch from the guide line on the wall and on the back of the panel itself, in different patterns, to increase the adhesion. With this kind of glue, I found that it would begin to set in about a minute, allowing just enough time to pull the panel off and turn it if it was the wrong way up. When sticking panels to the ceiling, I took the same approach. It was a textured ceiling, which called for lots of glue and a firm hand to seat the panels: again, it's useful if you can get a friend to lend a hand.

Hearing The Result

Once in place, the Vicoustic treatment worked very well. The main part of the room is now nicely controlled, if a bit on the 'live' side, and the diffusers ensure excellent intelligibility of speech: a sure‑fire sign of good acoustic control. I had a few spare corner traps, which were put into the dry corner, to make it even more 'dead', and it will be easy to add a few smaller foam tiles to dampen the sound further if it's found to be too 'roomy' further down the line.

Having tried some recordings in the room, I'm happy to say that excellent sound barrier can be achieved between acoustic instruments and vocals by using the different areas of the room. Because the sound inside the room is controlled, the ambience can be used to good effect if a roomy sound is desired on the recording.

Ultimate Control

So far, I've only addressed the dedicated live/recording space, and most home studios are single rooms, with both the monitoring and performance areas in the same space, so I asked Andy Munro to explain how to approach treating such a space. "The best approach,” he said, "is to sketch the room out, then divide each dimension into thirds. If the mixing position is on a third ratio, and so are the speakers, they will not stand on any of the half or quarter 'standing' wavelengths that cause a peak or trough in the bass [see the 'Standing Waves' box for more information]. The result will be a smoother sound, with fewer problems when the acoustic absorption and sound barrier is added. Ironically, most professional rooms are set up about the centre line, which tends to result in a 'hole' at certain frequencies.”

Also important in monitoring rooms is the control of early reflections. When a speaker cone is driven, it disperses acoustic energy to the listener's ears directly, and also to the walls and ceiling of the room, and the best example may be acoustic diffuser. Uncontrolled, these early reflections bounce back into the room and reach the listener a few milliseconds later than the direct sounds, because of the additional distance they've had to travel. Unless in a large room, this delay is not perceivable as a different sound; instead it disturbs the phase, and therefore the clarity, of the sound. To keep early reflections on a tight leash, the 'mirror points' of the room should be identified and treated. To do this, sit in the listening position and 'guesstimate' where a mirror would have to be placed to enable you to see each monitor cone from the sweet spot. Then apply absorption to these points. A 'ceiling cloud' can be positioned in a similar way, to control vertical reflections.

Conclusion

No matter how much you spend on instruments, amps, speakers and recording gear, you still need to pay attention to the space in which you use them. The treatment of home studios is tricky, because of their size and the construction materials used, not to mention the budget of the average home‑studio owner. It's impossible to get a 'pro-studio sound' from a space that's built as a spare bedroom, mainly due to the laws of physics, but also because 'proper' studios might have big bucks spent on acoustic design with soundproof materials. But if you can get your head around what you're trying to achieve, you can still make such a space perfectly usable, with only a small amount of money, some forward planning and a little bit of knowledge.

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ashokamarketing · 8 months ago

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Difference between Autism and ADHD

ADHD and autism are separate neurodevelopmental disorders that can share some symptoms. There are key differences between the conditions, and a person can have both.

ADHD is a common neurodevelopmental disorder. According to the American Psychiatric Association (APA) ADHD affects around 8.4% of children and 2.5% of adults. Doctors diagnose it more often in males than in females.

Children with ADHD experience difficulties with attention, hyperactivity, and impulse control. They may struggle to concentrate, sit still, or think before they act.

There are three subtypes of ADHD, and a doctor will base the diagnosis on a person’s specific symptoms.

The ADHD subtypes are inattentive, hyperactive-impulsive combined

ADHD symptoms may improve as a child gets older and can gain more focus and control over their impulses. Adults who continue to experience symptoms may benefit from counseling, which can help a person learn to manage the condition.

What is autism? Autism spectrum disorder affects a person’s social communication and interaction in various contexts. There is no cure, but support can help people make progress in the areas that they find challenging.

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) Trusted Source, around 1 in 59 children in the United States has received a diagnosis of autism spectrum disorder. The American Autism Association report that autism typically appears before the child reaches the age of 3 years old and that it is five times more likely to develop in males than in females.

ADHD vs Autism Telling the difference between autism and ADHD can sometimes be difficult, especially in younger children. The following descriptions may help with differentiating between the symptoms of the two conditions:

Attention span Children with ADHD often have difficulty paying attention to the same thing for too long, and they may get distracted easily. Autistic children may have a limited scope of interest. They may seem to obsess over things that they enjoy and have difficulty focusing on things that they have no interest in. They may be able to recall facts and details easily, and some may excel in math, science, music, or art Trusted Source. It may be easiest to spot these signs while the child is doing their homework. A child with ADHD may not be able to pay attention to any subject.

Diagnosis Parents and caregivers who are concerned that their child may have ADHD, autism, or both should talk to their family doctor or pediatrician. The doctor may recommend referring the child to a child behavior disorder specialist.

A doctor will base an ADHD diagnosis on symptoms that have been present in the past 6 months. If a doctor suspects autism, they may look into a child’s behavior and development over previous years. In either case, they may wish to hear from teachers and other caregivers, as well as parents. The doctor will also want to rule out conditions that can cause symptoms similar to those of autism or ADHD. These issues include: hearing problems learning difficulties sleep disorders

In addition, the doctor may uncover symptoms of co-occurring disorders, such as: social anxiety disorder oppositional defiant disorder According to a 2010 study Trusted Source that looked at data from more than 2,500 autistic children in the U.S., 83% of the children also had at least one other developmental disorder, while 10% had at least one psychiatric disorder.

Support Support varies, depending on the child, their symptoms, and the presence of other conditions. Some support for autism and ADHD include:

behavioral therapy medication Behavioral therapy is typically the first line of support for younger children. For older children, a doctor may recommend a combination of behavioral therapy and medication.

Autistic children may benefit from additional forms of therapy, depending on their needs. Some options include: counseling educational interventions occupational therapy sensory integration speech therapy

Training and education can also better enable parents and caregivers to help children manage their symptoms.

An autistic child may have high levels of focus on their favorite topics, but may not be able to engage in subjects that interest them less.

Communication Communication difficulties are characteristic of autism. Some children with ADHD also have these difficulties, but they typically present in different ways.

Children with ADHD may: talk continually want to have the last word not notice how their words affect other people interrupt others

Autistic children may: have difficulty expressing their emotions and thoughts not use gestures to communicate struggle with eye contact fixate on one topic of conversation play differently — they may not understand turn-taking or imaginative play not initiate or respond to social interactions

Routine and structure Children with ADHD can become bored quickly with a structure that they find uninteresting, including that of the classroom. Without variety, they may also lose interest in activities.

In contrast, autistic children often demonstrate an insistence on sameness, wanting to adhere to routines or ritualized patterns of verbal or nonverbal behavior.

For instance, they may read the same book over and over or want the same foods for dinner every evening. Changes to routine can cause upset and irritability.

For more details visit our site: https://ashokachilddevelopmentcentre.com/index.php/2024/03/14/what-is-the-difference-between-adhd-and-autism/

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copperbaker39 · 4 years ago

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The Sarm Holy Bible.

Ostarine

Content

Kate Somerville Peptide K8 Power Lotion.

Production Of Bioactive Peptides By Lactobacillus Species: From Gene To Application.

Peptides Established Of 12 ₤ 220.

What Are Sarms?

Vip Whatsapp Team For Inner Promotions And Sarms Online Forum.

The partner or combining particle may be carbohydrate or non-carbohydrate in nature. If the outcome of UCPCR runs out maintaining with various other scientific finding then we would certainly recommend duplicating the test particularly if it is suddenly reduced. People tipping out boric acid preservative from urine collection tube, in an example taking greater than 3 days to reach the laboratory can lead to unnaturally low outcomes. A control experiment is one that is treated in the same way as an actual experiment, however is not exposed to the speculative agent. There are two kinds of controls for experiments, positive and also unfavorable controls.

Nate Diaz tested positive for trace amounts of a SARM, not suspended for UFC 244 - Bloody Elbow

Nate Diaz tested positive for trace amounts of a SARM, not suspended for UFC 244.

Posted: Fri, 25 Oct 2019 07:00:00 GMT [source]

It is a weird kind of glycosidic bond in which the sugar moiety is attached straight to the carbon atom of the other molecule. It is formed as a result of the response between the carbonyl team of a sugar particle and an alkyl substance like methane and so on . This bond is developed as a result of a response between the carbonyl team of a carbohydrate or its derivate and also a hydroxyl team of a few other substance. The carbonyl group of carb might be a part of an aldehydic group or a ketonic group. A molecule of water is released in this procedure, making it an irreparable reaction. It is a main bond or a covalent bond that offers to connect carbohydrates to other groups or particles.

Kate Somerville Peptide K8 Power Cream.

This slide collection is appropriate as an intro to the subject of peptide ligands. When the charge is related to the electrodes, the various amino acid will certainly move at different speeds to the corresponding electrode. The rate at which they move as well as to which electrode they take a trip to is recorded as well as compared on the glass substrate. Series of bands are developed from their motions which are called Electropherograms. Electropherograms are lines that are created from the motion of the healthy proteins to the electrodes. is the molecular mass of the neutral N-terminal group, is the molecular mass of the neutral C-terminal team, is molecular mass of the neutral amino acid deposits. To acquire m/z values, add or deduct protons as required to get the required charge as well as divide by the variety of fees.

The types of piece ions observed in an MS/MS spectrum rely on lots of variables consisting of main sequence, the quantity of inner power, exactly how the power was introduced, cost state, etc . The approved nomenclature for fragment ions was very first suggested by Roepstorff and Fohlman, as well as consequently modified by Johnson et. Along with the structural characterisation of healthy proteins the center also provides high-throughput protein-ligand testing. Commonly, 10-20μM of protein is required with a 100-fold excess of ligand Using automation multitudes of compounds can be swiftly screened. Hits can be further verified making use of protein-detect methods (1H-15N or 1H-13C HSQC).

Manufacturing Of Bioactive Peptides By Lactobacillus Varieties: From Genetics To Application.

A positive control experiment is one that uses a representative understood to generate a measurable and well recognized effect on the system. In contrast, an adverse control experiment is one that makes use of the same treatments as the real experiment, however has no additional treatment or utilizes an agent that is anticipated to be inactive. Kathy Taylor-Brewin of Biography Active Elegance is a specialist in peptide skin care, distributing the Hydropeptide array in the UK.

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To obtain a2-, subtract 2 protons from the Mr worth for an as well as divide by 2. The structures showed above recommend ions with a single positive charge. Mascot likewise consists of assistance for adverse ions, as well as the unfavorable ion types are the same as positive, however with one proton per fee deducted instead of included. We welcomefeedbackconcerning any kind of added ion types that must be taken into consideration. One of the most bountiful fragment ion types observed in MALDI-TOF PSD are a, b, and also y. If accident gas is made use of, after that the ranges look like high energy CID.

Peptides Established Of 12 ₤ 220.

" Hydropeptide integrates each classification of peptide in its VLR technology," comments April Zangl, Chief Executive Officer of Hydropeptide. " VLR technology is made to improve peptide efficiency optimising anti-ageing results. Comparable to a lock as well as secret, peptides call for a certain range, concentration degree and repetition for noticeable age opposing outcomes. N-terminal professional B-type natriuretic peptide (NT-proBNP) is a non-active peptide released along with the active peptide hormone BNP when the wall surfaces of the heart are extended or there is pressure overload on the heart e.g. by liquid overload. BNP then acts upon the kidneys triggering fluid as well as sodium loss in the pee as well as moderate vasodilation so launching the pressure.

Furthermore, more studies are needed in connection with the possible use of collagen supplements in skin problem like eczema. As a matter of fact, collagen is thought to compose around 75% of our skin's completely dry weight. Kind I collagen is crucial for skin flexibility as well as stamina, and a loss of collagen in the skin, which happens naturally with aging, can result in wrinkles. Hydrophobic interactions are important in maintaining the tertiary and also quaternary structure of healthy proteins. The variety of hydrogen bonds formed by an electronegative atom depends upon the variety of totally free electrons present in its outer covering. Oxygen has two cost-free electrons and thus can create 2 hydrogen bonds while nitrogen forms just one hydrogen bond because of one free electron.

What Are Sarms?

Glycosidic bond undertakes deterioration in a process called glycolysis. It is a hydrolytic process in which a water molecule is utilized to break the glycosidic bond as well as release the carb and various other residues. The substances with S-glycosidic bonds are called S-glycosides as an example Sinigrin. It is a harmful compound found in some plants like seed of black mustard etc . In this sort of glycosidic bond, the sugar residue is affixed to the sulfur group of the non-carbohydrate compound. It is developed when the carbonyl team of sugar reacts with the thiol (- SH) group of the other compound.

What is Ostarine used for?

Ostarine is used by mouth to improve athletic performance and for involuntary weight loss in people who are very ill, also known as cachexia or wasting syndrome.

There are no well-known medication interactions and we do not yet recognize what the most effective dose of collagen is. Research studies have used everyday doses of in between 1-- 10 g collagen hydrolysate as well as 0.1-- 10 mg of chicken or bovine kind II collagen. It's been recommended that taking collagen hydrolysate can enhance the signs and symptoms of osteo arthritis by promoting your body's manufacturing of joint collagen. Rather than MHC course I, MHC course II particles do not dissociate at the plasma membrane. The systems that manage MHC course II deterioration have not been developed yet, however MHC class II molecules can be ubiquitinised and then internalised in an endocytic pathway.

Vip Whatsapp Group For Inner Promos And Also Sarms Forum.

Austria bpc157 how does it work of basic NMR ranges extracts from a couple of mins to 3/4 days for every experiment. A complete collection of experiments for protein structure decision typically takes concerning 7-14 days. When it comes to reasonably small healthy proteins, current innovative multidimensional information acquisition plans have been successfully used to decrease speculative acquisition time by approximately an order of magnitude or more. There was no evidence of increased side-effects in individuals taking kind II collagen, although trials did report individuals withdrawing due to the fact that they thought the collagen had not been improving their symptoms. Although individuals in both groups enhanced in the kind II collagen and also methotrexate test, the methotrexate individuals revealed the best enhancement.

Is SARMs considered natural?

Short for selective androgen receptor modulators, SARMs are synthetic drugs designed to have effects similar to those of testosterone. SARMs are still in the research and testing stages for various medical conditions but have not been approved yet for any other use.

It can form extra phosphodiester bonds at both ends due to having a complimentary hydroxyl team at the 3' end as well as a complimentary phosphate group at the 5' end. The ester affiliation is a really high-energy bond launching a remarkable amount of power upon hydrolysis. Like the remainder of the bonds talked about previously, it is additionally damaged down by incorporating a water particle.

Fragments will only be spotted if they carry at least one charge. If this cost is kept on the N incurable piece, the ion is classified as either a, b or c. If the charge is retained on the C terminal, the ion kind is eitherx, y or z.

Hormone or peptideMajor cells places in the gutPrincipal recognized actionsGastrointestinal peptides, their website of expression as well as significant functions. The gastrointestinal hormones make up a team of hormones secreted by enteroendocrine cells in the tummy, pancreatic, and also tiny intestine. This team of hormones regulate different functions of the digestion organs. This 60-slide slide collection available from Slideshare.net gives a great introduction of endogenous peptides and also choose instances of useful drugs. Medications reviewed consist of those that imitate the impacts of endogenous peptides and also those that are villains.

All ion collection can be come with by composition dependent satellites as a result of loss of ammonia or water. Collision induced dissociation of ions at keV energies can generates extra ion types because of side chain bosoms,. Keep in mind that these frameworks include a single charge carrying proton. In electrospray ionisation, tryptic peptides usually lug 2 or even more fees, to make sure that piece ions may carry more than one proton.

Cardarine is a pharmaceutical grade PPAR agonist which has some extremely useful effects for professional athletes.

Because some SARMs are best for bulking as well as others are shown to be specifically efficient for cutting, they're sometimes combined, or stacked, in research studies.

These manufactured SARM-derived metabolites can conveniently be utilized as reference standards for routine mass spectrometry-based doping control analysis of at the very least three generally used performance-enhancing drugs to unambigously recognize misbehavior.

RAD 140 SARM-- a SARM with effective anabolic impacts for improving muscle development, as well as appealing benefits for your mind.

We have actually made a team where sarms users can share their progress, experiences as well as to talk with each various other concerning their cycles and also progress.

view site will be noticeably lowered which means you can boost the intensity and period of your exercises.

An ester bond is formed when a molecule having the carboxylic group responds with an additional molecule having a hydroxyl group. The carboxylic group loses its hydrogen as well as oxygen while the alcohol loses hydrogen of its hydroxyl group. Consequently, a water molecule is released, and the two carbons are linked using an oxygen bridge creating a -COC- link.

#BPC157 EU #BPC157 Europe #information BPC157 EU #information BPC157 Europe #EU BPC157 how does it work #Europe BPC157 how does it work

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fuck-customers · 5 years ago

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This is a Fuck My Store Manager post. It's kinda long, so I apologize for the length but Black Friday weekend is coming up and I need to vent before I have even more to complain about.

I work at the pet store chain that rhymes with BetShmo, and I only applied/got hired because I (1) am a professional dog trainer outside of the store and (2) I used to know the stock manager from junior high & high school swim team. She put a good word in with her manager and I didn't even interview for the position. The downside is that after I got hired I figured out pretty quickly that I didn't want to teach the company's watered down, bullshit "training" classes and told my manager this. She said it was okay and "let me" stay on as a cashier. I'm on the autistic spectrum so I suffer from anxiety, a sensory processing disorder, and some days I'm not super great at interacting with people, plus I have a hard time hearing the customers when the store gets busy. My store manager, the assistant manager, and -- pretty much everyone I work with -- knows this. I'm not private about it, and no one really cares/treats me differently because of it. Except for her.

After the whole situation where I mentioned to her that I don't wanna be a dog trainer, she has been treating me differently.

The very first thing I hate about being "only a cashier" is that there's a definite line of shelves that denote the front of the store from the middle of the store. Cashiers are told that in order to not leave any customers waiting that they need to stay behind the front of those shelves (in front of small animals, and stay in the leashes/toys for dogs section). The reason I hate this is because the bathrooms are back behind the small animals section, and no matter how often I may call for "backup" when no one is at the register -- depending on who the manager is at the time -- I may have to "hold it" and not be able to go to the bathroom for an entire shift. It's gotten better since I switched to being only a cashier (because a majority of the managers like me now), but I used to have to wait to use the bathroom on my "10" if I even got one that day. Now that we have better supporting/shift managers that like me I can go multiple times in a shift as long as I'm fast and more people answer my call for "backup."

I've been working there since the beginning of the summer, and I told my store manager I can't work on Sundays because of "religious observance," (really just want to be able to have family dinner every week at my parent's house, but work doesn't need to know that), but instead of just finding another person to cover the closing shift on Sundays, she said to me "We work in retail. It's unrealistic to expect to have ANY weekends off." When the only other cashier at the time got weekends off pretty consistently. Like I'm talking she was only working Friday mornings and having Saturdays/Sundays off which is wildly out of the norm for any other retail jobs I've ever worked. Especially for a cashier.

That same cashier -- we'll call her Chelsea -- has some mental health issues going on and has been moody/rude since she dropped out of college in the Spring. Like I'm not judging, we all have issues and she's getting help for her's finally, but during the time when she was not on medication/seeing a professional, she requested to "make a statement" about me and one little misunderstanding between us (her being asked by a different manager to recover the small animals section at the same time I was asked to and said I was slacking/not doing my job and just following her around the store) blew up into a whole 6 page report of blatant lies that resulted in me getting called to the office and almost written up within the first month of working there before I had the chance to defend myself. For some reason after that, my store manager decided she likes Chelsea more than she likes me and PROMOTED HER TO STOCK MANAGER EVEN THOUGH SOME OF THE THINGS SHE SAID SHOULD'VE RESULTED IN SUSPENSION. Chelsea still gets better hours than me and my store manager still likes her better.

In the last two months my store manager has hired four new cashiers, and out of all four of them only one of them isn't long-time best friends with her daughter -- that I know of. One of these new cashiers spends a ton of time on her phone and I only care about this because I get yelled at all of the time for "being on my phone" (ie when the store is dead I will text my boyfriend back or check Facebook for a few minutes) when she doesn't! But when I even so much as LOOK at my phone to check the time (depending on where you're at in the store, the clocks are all between 10 and 30 minutes fast or slow) I get told if I pull my phone out one more time I will be fired on the spot. That's a real thing that happened one weekend, and she told me that if she has to keep reminding me to keep my phone put away then she's going to take it from me and fire me??? Like we're not in middle school, bitch. You can't just take my phone from me.

The four or five new people she's hired in the last two months are all hired as "cashiers" but because they're best friends with her daughters, they get to pick their hours -- to the point where if one of them has a dentist appointment or something that conflicts with how they were scheduled, the store manager goes in and manually changes their schedule even if it's the WEEK OF. I have had several conflicts with doctor's appointments etc and she's always told me I have to find my own cover for my shift. These cashiers are also all allowed to be on an entire 6-7 hour shift doing recovery or helping with the stock room, but I only get scheduled to be on the register even though I have a disability and can't handle it some days. And because my managers know about it, I can say to them "Hey I'm not feeling it today, can I switch with someone who is doing recovery? And only one manager tries to live up to that promise at all. (Like in the middle of the 1-2 o'clock rush on a Saturday I've broken down into tears and a panic attack and had to take my ten and go back to the register.) Even after this, she doesn't schedule me differently. Oh, and because we have so many cashiers now -- EVEN THOUGH I'M THE SENIOR CASHIER AT THIS POINT -- I get the sloppy seconds of everyone's hours. I'm talking MAYBE 3x 5-hour shifts all over the weekend with ALL WEEK off, while the other cashiers get long morning shifts and can request weekends off willy-nilly. For the last month and a half, I've had Monday-Thursday off even though I've mentioned that I need more hours to just make rent, let alone other expenses. So that's fun and fresh.

This same manager hired a new "Fish Specialist" behind the old "Fish Specialist"'s back and then MADE HER TRAIN HIM. The upside to this is that the new Fish Specialist is pretty cool and likes me well-enough, so I get to go back there and he teaches me stuff about being a Fish Specialist. Although I've never gotten scheduled back there, despite knowing almost as much as the head of the department. Why you might ask? Yep, because my store manager hates me and doesn't let me move from the register.

But there is a happy ending to this story. I heard from our dog training specialist that our store manager was going to be promoted to higher management at the beginning of next year, and I have yet to find an employee that isn't excited about it. And recently I heard she's getting promoted at the end of this year, like before New Year's and I couldn't be more excited. Fuck her.

#cashier problems #happy ending #fuck retail #fuck managers #submission

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joanofarchetype · 4 years ago

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had a video appointment with a neurologist today because i’m looking to get assessed for potential dyscalculia? like it was always something my mom floated as an idea when i was in middle/high school for why i had SO much trouble grasping and retaining basic math concepts when i didn’t have trouble in anything else and was in honors classes but kept out of remedial math by the skin of my teeth, and i shrugged it off because “dyslexia but math” doesn’t accurately describe the semiotic nuance of seeing integers but not actually having them mean anything to you. and when i was in undergrad, i took a class on fractals that changed the way i looked at math and it made sense to me in a way it never had, and there was meaning at the higher levels. and now that i’m getting my master’s in a STEM degree, i’m doing discrete maths, but anything where we’re talking digits and integers and equations and fractions just means nothing to me. and then i realized i struggle with finances, counting change, spreadsheet cells are physical agony and i make mistakes no matter how many times i check, i have trouble with choreography, i can only measure time in songs and tv episodes, and i’ve always learned to sing everything from memory because despite having taken about five separate music theory classes i cannot for the life of me read sheet music and just like my ADHD, maybe this was something to look into. it just felt like if these things were connected then there could be a way to better understand why i don’t grasp something no matter how many times i run through it, when i’m so interdisciplinary and otherwise able to grasp complex theory/concepts in nearly every other field at speed.

i did relatively fine in the mini assessment he led me in (though counting backwards from a hundred in sevens literally raised my heart rate and made be turn red) and he admitted he was a stroke specialist and didn’t know as much about cognitive disorders but this was obviously important to me and he referred me for a neuropsychological exam to get some clarity and find out if there is a wiring thing at play. and i’m determined to figure it out but also worried, because just as with ADHD there are a lot of misconceptions and because most information is for how it is exhibited in children and also at its most severe, it means we don’t tend to catch people who are at a different spot on the spectrum with maybe not all of the classic discalculic markers? and i definitely don’t have all of them. but that’s how so many people with ADHD (especially adult women) go through their lives finding ways to compensate for the invisible struggle instead of getting the proper tools they need. it’s why i only got medicated for ADHD at 27, and my mom just went up through her 60s not realizing that her ADHD wiring was responsible for the things she attributed to laziness and mess, but also for the parts that made her a brilliant scientist.

i’m not discouraged by this if i do have it? it only motivates me even more to get my degree in computational linguistics, which i went into to translate this absolutely perplexing language i’ve never understood but have begun to understand through myth and metaphor, and because my ADHD brain learns interdisciplinarily, and i can use those leaps in storytelling to help others who might have different ideas and perspectives who aren’t getting the tools they need and are being gatekept from success in our current system.

so idk, on the one hand i’m worried about bias, and not getting the right specialists who understand it’s a spectrum disorder and know what to look for in adults and especially those who overcompensate in other areas and don’t exhibit traditionally, and how much of that spectrum do we even have data for?? and on the other hand i’m worried that i don’t have it and i’m “just” bad at math, and “just” incapable of doing what neurotypical people consider basic tasks, and if i’m not neurodivergent enough for dyscalculia to be the reason and i won’t be able to crack my own code.

anyway.

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strawberrymarshmallowstories · 5 years ago

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Ice Queen (Gods&Goddesses AU) - Kim Seokjin

What the-

Your nose tickled with a familiar scent before you saw it - the bouquet of blue roses as waves of the ocean, the tips fading to depths not many witnessed in a lifetime. But instead of appreciation or surprise, a curse slipped from your lips.

You ran a scan on your psychic shields.

Negative - no irregularities over the past 12 hours.

It would’ve been scary hadn’t it happened before. The main house scan from security office came back a moment later - also negative. As always, you logged it for further investigation.

One day they were bound to make a mistake.

But when? And how?

Teleporting left a detectable trace. It could be masked, but not eliminated. You ran another scan on the bouquet itself - the flowers came back as pure, energetically untouched.

Human handiwork?

A tilt of your head, eyes narrowing at the inanimate intruder. Impossible. To bypass security, to bypass your rock-solid shields without a trace.

But despite all that, somehow still, at least once a year you woke to a bouquet of blue roses at your bedside. Blueberry-blues to arctic ice, from matte navy's to robin-egg blues. Unimaginable colours, hadn't you seen it with your own eyes.

A quick twinge along the familial line and your sister's energy greeted you before her long-limbed frame. As she danced through the doors, her long white dress flowed around her with a life on its own.

But her joy was short-lived.

'Again?' A whisper, her steps slowing to a reluctant gait. As the morning rays touched the flowers, tiny bursts of light erupted on the blossoms. As if small fireworks had sparked to life between the delicate petals.

You’d never heard of such talent for manipulation. With big eyes specialists deemed it impossible, all while clutching to the rose as drops of deep red stained their skin. But thorns mattered little with magic petals between their fingers, nose in the blossom as if its scent was a drug.

That they hadn't turned this into a fortune was a hint of their power. And wealth.

Ania leaned closer. 'It's kind of romantic though. Absurd, yes, but romantic.'

With a scoff you pulled a robe over your gown, soft yellow over black silk. An unexpected gift from your sister because you needed some sunshine in your life.

As a reply you’d almost iced over her aquarium.

'Cowards.’ You jutted with your chin as she pulled you into a hug. ‘It’s more creepy than what-not. How many years has it been?’

'Immortal’s infatuation lasts way longer. But hey sis, it’s not worthy enough to ruin your day.' A squeeze. ‘Happy birthday.'

Your arms wrapped around her on its own. With days being counted and her excitedly packing her bags, you wanted to laugh and cry the same. Accepting a position at the Union should've been a happy occasion.

But she'd chosen Alta on the other side of the world.

'I really don’t want to go in today. Can't I just burn the whole building down?'

She only laughed, having been there for many of your late-night rants. About Ancients and their Seconds who had no proper concept of time, about their minor territorial issues blown into elephants - the bare thought gave you a headache.

But you’d accepted it as a part of your job. You’d long realised Ancients didn’t see time as everyone else - they had centuries long behind them, a pebble in the ocean compared to yours. You’d once asked your mother how Ancients would ever respect you with their age against yours. She’d only laughed and told you to grow thicker skin.

Your sisters’ wink jolted you back to reality, mischief streak a spark in her eyes. 'You want me to do it? Oh please tell me yes!'

Different from yours, your sister had fire flowing in her veins, one that made her locks flow as lazy flames licking dry wood. It had placed its claim just after her first decade - early but not unforeseen. But what made her unique apart from her winning smile and olive-kissed skin, was the mark on her shoulder. Worn with pride, a medallion of a true claim.

Not many could take pride in it.

You, on the other hand, had been born from the other side of the spectrum. Ice queen, as per the hushed whispers. Ironic, as the roses always held an imprint of icy hues, as if a reminder of who you were.

'Would you like to come along?' You asked with a hopeful tinge. Ania had been there for your many risky escapades which had your mother breathing out fire, and her silence had earned your unwavering trust. Because even between family members trust wasn’t a given.

It had to be earned.

But today she only shook her head. 'Don't take it the wrong way but the Union you sure scares the hell out of me.' A theatrical shudder. ‘As if possessed, you know?’

You shrugged but couldn't hide a smile. 'What can I say, it’s a gift.'

‘Sis-,’ she said, her tone alert. ‘You may want to get dressed.'

Warning and uncertainty in one.

'Jin just, ported in?' A question of wonder, as if she herself doubted the pathed words. ‘Are you expecting him?’

'Not that I know of.' You scanned over your mental calendar. 'But let him in, he’s not the type to leave.'

Ania finished telepathing with a frown, seating herself in an armchair under the squared windows.

Every god had its own essence, something to warn the people ahead - a feeling of the sorts, that made weaklings scatter and called strong ones to attention. Energy reacted to his every footstep. It gathered around him, drawing nearer to the silent power humming through his veins.

He’s beautiful. Ania pathed with a nervous glance.

A fact. He was, even for an immortal. A muse for artists of many species since - whenever he was born. With his energy as a prided cloak he had nothing to prove - even his role as Lindiana’s Second a status to envy for.

He greeted Ania first with a kiss on the back of her hand that barely touched.

Before his gaze fell on you.

'Happy birthday to my favourite princess.' He mocked a bow, dark hair tickling his forehead, silken as if asking to be touched. But it was his eyes that had you pinned - deep earthy browns, whispers of warm summer nights and honey on the tip of your tongue. Tempting in a way he must’ve known.

And intended.

'Appreciated, not many call me a princess these days.' You leaned against the bedpost, arms crossed. ‘But I'd prefer not to see your face first thing in the morning, Jin. So why are you here again?'

He only smiled as he took in the surroundings, the space filled with the most luxurious of fabrics in the richest colours - ones you’d selected personally and had travelled lands to acquire. Ones heaven against your fingertips, of softness only cashmere could grasp the edge of.

How unlike you, and he must’ve known.

You shifted in your spot. The games he played, you didn't know how to win.

'Actually I've been demoted to a pickup guy.' A glance at Ania. ‘Summons.'

‘What is this about?' You forced your shoulders to straighten. Even when you felt nothing without your usual suit of straight-cut trousers and a blazer tailored to fit every curve.

'Incident on Ancient lands, your mother asked me to get you,' he said just as the buzzing datapad stole your attention.

Rebel activity in Alexei’s territory. Summons have been sent out, documents forwarded. Seokjin will pick you up. - Mother

'I’ve always wondered why my mother likes you so much,' you asked as much as sighed. 'What do we have so far?'

'It’s the charm,' Jin dragged out as you headed to the closet room, his voice loud enough to carry through the divider wall. 'But for the incident, lots of fire, no casualties.'

Nothing that’d normally require immediate summons. But your mother had a reason for everything.

'By the way.' His eyes skimmed over the formal suit as you walked out, twirling a blue rose between his fingers. 'Nice flowers.'

You cast him a narrow-eyed look.

'A special occasion? Or perhaps a message?'

He handed a rose to Ania who graced him with one of her sweetest smiles, her cheeks flushing to the skin of a ripe peach. With the dimples sharp as if encarved into her skin, even Jin held her gaze as if to breathe in her beauty and joy.

'That's none of your concern.' You threw a knowing glance at Ania. You'd seen those eyes work on its prey. She had yet to learn that Jin was never anyone's prey.

He was a hunter.

'However, Jin.' You refrained from rolling your eyes, focusing on perfecting your low bun. 'You're a pretty good teleporter--'

‘--one of the best, as a matter of fact.''

An obnoxious irritating man.

‘Is it possible to teleport something without appearing with it?'

A tilt of his head.

'An interesting question.' He ported another blue rose into his hand as he set his steps towards you. 'This information doesn't come cheap. What do you need it for?'

No other god would flinch at the proximity, and neither would you. Even when goosebumps ran down your spine and down to your fingertips. So you held his gaze as he stood before you, although your instincts demanded you run.

Your breath hitched at the gentlest brush against your neck. He’d tucked a rose behind your ear. 'And here I thought you didn’t like me.’

'Alright, that’s enough.' You shoved at his chest. Away, you had to get away. 'I don’t know how these flowers got here overnight. My security office detected no movement, neither did my scans find any breaches.'

Jin rubbed the spot on his chest. ‘I'm sure your shields are of steel. Then either a human or a family member.'

Human, perhaps. But a family member - not an option you'd ever consider. You glanced away. Stark contours stared back from the mirror, with a glint in your own eyes you’d never seen. But that didn’t faze you, not when silver flicks played in your hair.

Only a bare hint. As on the roses, until hit by sunlight and the chaos ensued.

With the look you threw at Jin, anyone would’ve been quivering in their boots. But Jin was an insufferable man not fazed by much. 'And no, nothing out of the ordinary.'

Jin ported a feet closer, making you jolt when his chest almost touched yours.

'You need a list who's been here for the past three days and why. Teleports can be set up and traces can be covered - the best can do it 48 hours beforehand with an inanimate object.'

A sharp inhale and you took a step back, one out of instinct. 'Stop doing that, you're setting off my shields.'

An excuse. A pathetic excuse that went on deaf ears as his hand came up to your ear once more, a brief touch before brushing aside the rebellious glittery strand. ‘It suits you well though.’

You swatted his hand away.

'You think it's previously set up?' Ania voiced, a grin on her lips at the unfolding theatrical play.

'Who knows, we all love a little secrecy around here, and you go around in pretty high circles. I think someone’s trying to impress you.' Jin sauntered across the floor, taking a seat on your bed as if that was the most natural thing to do. Back in the playful element - one surprisingly more comfortable. And predictable. ‘And some immortals like their lovers cold and stiff.’

You heard Ania gasp.

It would’ve been an insult had it not been Jin. But today your eyes lingered - on his suited up frame against the backdrop of your messy sheets.

You bit into your inner lip, body stiffening at the tightness in your belly. He was pushing your limits, he always did. This was your home field, a place where you were supposed to be your strongest. But still he smashed through every shield, every facade that kept you safe.

'I told you to stop,’ you muttered under your breath, hands balling into fists. Clutching for control under a veil of anger.

Silly silly girl.

He smiled. 'I don't think they'll make a move. Perhaps a message. What did they call it back in the day--’ he trailed off, a low hum at the back of his throat. ‘Desire for the unattainable?'

You shoulders tensed.

He’d spoken the same words as the old flower vendor many years ago. In an antiques store in the middle of a human town, he’d spoken of meanings humans placed on flowers. A human folklore passed down through generations.

But if Jin knew of it...

Ania's laugh pulled you out of your thoughts, the sound bubbling through her whole being. 'I'm sorry sis but it makes sense. You, uh--’ A quick glance at Jin. ‘Shoot down anyone who dares to approach.'

'I could care less,' you hissed back. It hadn’t been a choice, but a necessity. Because if you slipped once, someone could die.

And everyone would find out you were flawed.

'And you.' You pointed at Jin, lowering your outermost shields to initiate a psychic link, just enough for a teleport. He accepted it without hesitation and held out his arm.

You never had that freedom. Every single touch and mental contact had to be calculated and prepared for. A single wrong move and you could betray yourself.

And once you tucked away your darkest memories, you accepted his arm and the room turned into a whirlwind of colours.

'Oh great, you're here - here’s the files,' you heard as soon as the energy materialised into familiar grey walled conference room. Your fingers clutched at thin air, digging into your palms, close to drawing blood. All to silence the past.

It always happened. The nightmarish demons had first found you when you had been no more than a babe. It was then when your mother had learned of your wide broadcasting affinity, when your scream for help blasted through every single pair of ears in the household.

You’d asked her many times about that night, but she always chose silence. Although her eyes spoke of sadness, of a little guilt and of secrets she’d one day take to her infinite sleep.

Luckily no one questioned your fears. To anyone, teleporting came with careful consideration due to risks imposed - it was a sign of great trust.

But in this case, you had to trust your mother’s judgement.

Because you knew, no one wished to be on the receiver end of your mother's wrath. You'd seen it, seen the power she held and the mercy she did not have.

Yes, she was your mother, but she was also a warrior queen.

'Wasn't that Jin?' Madeli piped as you sat down, her hands sorting paperwork to be reviewed. 'I thought you hated his guts.'

You scoffed. ‘My mother seems to like him. And I think she likes it when we don’t agree.'

'I wish he'd pick me up in the mornings, how romantic would that be.'

'Depends what you consider romantic,' you retorted. The room had started filling out, most entering in silent discussion. You nodded at everyone who glanced up, a couple of silent-mouthed greetings. ‘But you hate commuting and he loves women, sounds like a fair deal.'

Madeli lowered her voice. 'Did he ever do something to you?'

You shrugged and skimmed over the first report.

'It's about him not leaving me alone.' You handed her a signed document that disappeared into one of her many organisers. Once you wondered how she carried it all, and then recalled a queue of others that stayed behind for a kind word in exchange.

Maybe they had more commonalities than you’d thought.

A dreamy murmur under her breath. But your attention had already been stolen, by the friction in the air that had grown to a point where you could no longer ignore it. Too much energy in one space.

This time many territories had come as a pair when only one presence was required. The rumours had spread.

An Ancient had been struck.

Madeli finished with the attendance list and stepped down from the podium. After a nod at the closest guard, you started with the ancient incantations that came as second nature. Pages and pages of words that now slipped off your tongue, but once had taken a year to remember.

Fed by each Ancient’s contribution, the barriers could hold in anything. As a Mediator, at times like these you got a slight taste of their power.

A heavy mass, too heavy for frail shoulders. One could only be born to hold such power, and you were not one of them.

With a tight-lipped smile of control, you raised the outer barriers. As a barriers master, it was your job to keep it intact, to stop the energy from the world.

You cleared your throat, eyes browsing the crowd just as the microphone light flashed green.

The energy of the room focused on you. It was massive, possibly destructive even when constrained. The energy peak was also why Ancients rarely met in one place, and if they did - only under supervision.

Although civilised to a certain extent, one offensive remark and chaos would ensue.

That’s where you stepped in.

'This will be short. Alexei is still forwarding us the reports.' A quick inhale. 'It is true, his territory has been struck. And by someone with ancient control and strength, or something close enough.'

Quiet gasps and low murmurs around the room.

That should've been impossible, a pact of peace confining Ancients not to strike unless formally challenged or attacked. It had taken a century, endless hours of work and negotiations until everyone’s energy prints decorated the Terra Agreement.

If someone overstepped it, the Terra Union had the right to strike back as one.

'It's not one of us, as far as we know. The energy pattern doesn’t match our database, so we’re currently leaning towards a group channeling.'

Glances around the room - some of suspicion, some of surprise. Channeling was an ancient art lost in time. One not practiced or taught due to its inefficiency - it drained the participants of energy and could render them useless for days. No god would willingly leave themselves this vulnerable.

'I need access to energy reports for the past week, of any imbalances in each territory. We believe they yield fire as a general element but we cannot set it as a limit.'

You knew that didn't say much, earth elements only a basic affinity and could be trained. But this one had been nothing but simple, this energy had expanded until the verge of bursting.

Add fire into that mix, and you got what humans would call a bomb.

This required a long buildup, of months at least.

'Alexei is feeding information back to us as we speak, including ash samples. We will also get Yoongi's team dispatched shortly.'

'The one with the human? Is the human trustworthy with this?' A female voice jeered from the back. Lindinia, a goddess from a neighbouring territory to Alexei's, the one to steal your sister away.

Her eyes narrowed even further at your delay, making the resemblance with her cat uncanny.

'The human's a she, and she worked as much on the Lux medication as anyone else in that team.'

Silence. It had only been a remark, one you could've ignored but didn't. Everyone in that room knew of the specialised research team, one of the best in the immortal world with queues up to decades. And many of them had orders in for research costing billions.

Even with a human on it.

'However, while you're already standing, would you please share the incidents from your today's report?'

While gods kept to their own territories and upheld the value of family ties, there was a reason your family was in the middle of it all.

Aethra family were Mediators, ones who'd brought the lands together through a psychic network. And for that, they'd earned their respect from Ancients. They had even gone further to form the Terra Union, to work on justice with fairness extended to humans, gods and Ancients, and even creatures rarely seen in your realms.

But in the middle of it all, even the Union couldn't escape mundane politics.

And so your own special broadcasting ability had been skillfully buried under barrier-mastering and shield specialisation that gave you this job. But apart all the ranks you'd earned, your mother still considered you a weapon she'd protect, until the reveal was absolutely necessary.

Which hopefully never came to be.

Because that meant war.

Because what you could do wasn’t supposed to be possible - to blast out a message to any living being, or the whole globe if you so wished. Terra psychic network worked through signal transmitters, family members with broadcasting affinity, where they lent their abilities to connect others directly.

But you didn’t need signal transmitters for pathing, you didn't even need to link into the familial Terra network.

You somehow bypassed them all, exempt from any regulations. That meant you couldn't be tracked and left no evidence.

A weapon.

When Lindinia spoke, the calamity of her voice shushed the whole room. 'An energy bubble burst yesterday, exactly 24 hours before the incident. The centre was in the middle of an uninhabited forest. Sadly, no witnesses-'

'Not this again!’ A loud voice rumbled through the space. ‘I will not risk with the rogues getting to my territory! I'm out!'

In these moments you understood what your cousin Karter, another Terra network transmitter, meant with the impression of a burly bear. Still as handsome as any god, Rangeet held stark masculine beauty only the bravest would invite to their bed.

‘You can't.’ You said, stating what should’ve been obvious. ‘Your comms links will break and we need your link as much as you need ours. Karter can’t hold up your network on his own.'

His eyes blazed, fists clenched.

'But it's your choice Rangeet. You can go back to using phones, handy little devices that humans like. You can even give me a call sometimes, let me know how you're doing.'

You watched his eyebrows turn into a frown, his Second tapping on his arm. Phones could be too easily hacked, its signal picked up midway and destroyed without ever reaching its recipient. It was too easy, a child’s play.

Whereas Aethra transmitters could forward a message and no one would even know its contents. Once a link was initiated, it formed a secured bubble around the parties, formed from both energy fields and invisible on the psychic plane.

'Once we get our hands on those ash samples, shall we attempt a location teleport?’ Jin’s voice sounded and your eyes met his, a glint of amusement lingering on his lips. ‘Surprise them a bit? I'm sure Markir would love a slight exercise, that old man is turning grumpy.’

‘That’s right, let’s get the trackers on the energy lines,’ Lindinia cooed, her eyes flashing with her own power. ‘That would set a great example.’

‘No,' you interrupted. ‘They haven’t killed anyone yet. We’re sticking to the agreement. Trackers have already been sent out to scope the possible areas and so we wait. And prepare.’

‘Are the lines enough for an energetic photo?’ Jin asked and you glanced over at him again - while a reasonable question, you shook your head.

‘Not enough to attempt a teleport. I will not risk losing any more trackers on this.’ What you left unsaid was clear to anyone. Attempting a teleport on an incomplete energetic photo could be fatal.

You’d seen photos once, the torn limbs and the still beating heart halfway spiked through. Sickening. You took a breath to focus.

‘Let’s continue.’

'That was tough, Rangeet was so close to ripping out Jin's throat,' Madeli giggled as you both headed out, two pairs of heels clicking on tiled floors.

'I wish he had,' you muttered as you nodded at Lindinia. The goddess with feline grace in a hushed discussion sent back the faintest of smiles. Jin only nodded in acknowledgement, as per the etiquette. Nothing more, nothing less.

'I really have no idea what's up with him,’ you continued once you passed them. ‘He just… really irritates me.'

‘Well, my darling,’ Madeli started, her arm linking over your shoulder. ‘If you haven’t noticed, we’re all a little weird around here.’

Yeah, you'd definitely noticed.

‘But tell me,’ she hushed. ‘A little bird sang of a secret admirer.’

Damn it Ania, you sent another twingle along your familial line. You got back airy bubbles, showing her glee and joy. In hindsight, the rom-com loving secretary and your sister’s fiery soul had been a bad introduction.

‘Who knows, it’s been going on for years,’ you confided as you glanced into the mirror. The glittery strand still remained, but no one had mentioned it. They probably thought you’d lost it. ‘Please also schedule a meeting with Yoongi for later this week. But be careful, he’s in a foul mood.’

‘Of course.’ A snap of her fingers and her organised beeped. ‘What will you do about the stalker guy though?’

You touched the scanner pad and the doors slid open before you. Almost as large as your living quarters, your office space welcomed you with its delicate design and minimalistic interior - a perfect balance of cool ice you represented. Beautiful work, done by another cousin who’d pursued an alternative career path.

‘It’s beyond me.’ You plopped your bag on your desk and headed over to the windows. The view of the city was breathtaking in any weather, the streets bustling with immortals with a human or two thrown into the mix.

The room echoed as Madeli dropped a folder on your desk. ‘Anyway, Alexei just sent through additional energy reads, I’ve passed these on but there’ll be a copy on your datapad. No updates from other teams.’

‘Thank you.’ You glanced over your shoulder. ‘And listen, is it just me or something's not right?’

On your birthday, of all times. When you wanted nothing else but to relax, bask in the sunlight and laugh at silly things that didn't matter.

But a hunch was a hunch.

You didn't ignore hunches.

‘You want to fly over there? A plane would take 2 days and you can't leave for that long. Would you like me to schedule a teleport?’ Madeli checked her organiser. ‘The earliest is tomorrow morning, 7am?’

You shook your head while horrified somersaults ransacked your stomach. One teleport too many in one day.

The nightmares always waited, at the dimensional space you'd vowed to stay away from as a child. That's the only vow you'd ever broken.

‘Today.’ Your heart sunk. ‘Can you contact Jin please?’

Madeli’s raised eyebrows asked questions you didn’t have answers for. 'But he's not an official Terra teleporter.'

‘It’ll be fine.’ You assured, yourself more than her. ‘Sadly he finds me too amusing alive.’

A reluctant tilt of her head, nails clicking against the datapad. A quick affirmative nod a second later.

‘He said he’s free in about an hour, and that.. he’d love to spend some quality time with you?’ A quirked eyebrow. 'Are you certain?'

You slipped out of your heels, rubbing at your calves. ‘Positive, and thank you, I'll get some work done, so let me know what needs immediate attention.’

A shrug as a grin formed on her lips. ‘That's what I do best. And you must keep me posted on your date.’

You would've thrown something at her, but papers did not quite fly well.

#sfwbangtan #jhope.network #bts fanfic #bts fanfiction #kim seokjin #seokjin #jin

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