#and sorry if this makes 0 sense

[akq96618]

After some rewatch, I think there's one "never mentioned" theme from king-ohger. That's "grief".

Almost all of the ranger's behaviors (both good and bad) are trauma responses. I also want to yap about how Gira goes through 5 stages of grief in the first episode and how both Himeno and Jeramie achieve the "acceptance" stage but my english isn't good enough to explain.

Don't worry! I understands what u mean, my english ain't that good either,

I had a thought about this too, every single kings deals with grief and losing dearest one, gira with losing memories of his past and don't want to lose his orphanage family, racles losing gira and his parents, rita with karras, himeno and jeramie who lost both of their parents,kaguragi who saw iroki sacrified herself for toufu, and yanma with his oldman,

And despite all of what happened to them in the past, they choose to move forward and protect what they have now, that's why i love king ohger so much .

what connected himeno and jeramie on ep 46 isn't just grodie who have a deal with them and their parents', but the weight of grief they carried their whole life, and what decision should they take in the end,

until now i still don't get it when they said 'death is the beauty of life', yeah maybe it makes us value our life more, knowing that death awaits us, but is the pain of people who being left by their beloved one is really worth it?

or maybe it's just me who haven't reached 'acceptance' stage like jeramie and himeno

here's a gira scene that got me thinking the whole day

[abstractfrog]

SILVER BLAZE PART THREE - happy jonkday everyone. one of these days i'll draw a scene that doesn't take place at night

[n1ghtwr1ter]

At the end of my latest TLT reread and it’s been physically painful attempting to read the last 40+ pages of Nona. Like, the short shrift that Gideon/Kiriona gets given by the people in the story…the theoretical good guys who honestly only see her as a thing, as a means to an end with an inconvenient dead soul attached to it… It makes me want to rip my own heart out of my chest.

Nobody has cared about Gideon her whole life. Most people, in fact, if they remembered about her at all, went out of their way to tell her how much they wished she didn’t exist. In the final chapters of Gideon, she finally gets the thing she’s been desperate for her whole life: somebody telling her that they need her, they care that she exists, and they badly want her to go on doing it. This allows her to make peace with the prospect that at the ripe old age of 18, she needs to die so that that person can go on living and living and living, using the castrated remnants of her soul as fuel to do so. Not a great way to go, but at least Gideon would get to be useful to somebody, would get to be remembered for something.

And then she wakes up in the wrong body, and finds out that her sacrifice - her attempt to be useful in the most selfless way possible, in that her self will no longer exist - has been rejected. And not only that, but the person she tried to give herself to - the one who was supposed to care about her - went to extreme lengths to make completely sure that she no longer remembered about Gideon.

She literally cut Gideon out of her brain.

And now, drifting along in the worst sort of half life where she’s inhabiting her body but it’s no longer really hers, in very obvious fashion - there’s holes in it, her heart is missing, and it’s got her shitty father’s handprints all over it (not even touching how much of a violation that is), indelibly - she finally meets back up with the small group of people who could theoretically be relied upon to be glad to see her again.

But then the one who was supposed to care about her most tries to kiss her (massively OOC for Harrow), and turns out to not even be there - it’s some weird baby inhabiting her body, and doing a really shit job of it too. The rest of them won’t stop talking about how they need her to break into the Tomb - as if she was just another key, same as the ones they worked together to acquire in Canaan House, just bigger and more inconvenient - and/or how they both fucked and killed her mom, who also (surprise, surprise) wished that Gideon had never existed, but saw her as a thing that needed to be done for the good of the mission.

Ultimately, they all make it abundantly clear - Palamedes, Camilla, Pyrrha, and especially Nona, all these people who are supposed to be kind and good and right - that they would prefer she wasn’t there. That it just be her body, with no Gideon attached - at least not Gideon the way she is now, broken and rejected and miserable. They would all far have preferred that she not have her own inconvenient thoughts and feelings and desires and impulses - that she just be inanimate and let the important people, the grown ups, get things done.

They wish she didn’t exist. Same as everybody else in her life, save one, and now she’s left wondering whether Harrow really meant it at all. Because if she did, she wouldn’t have left Gideon to Kiriona’s fate.

And honestly? Really, truly? I know everybody in the fandom loves Pal and Cam and Nona and Pyrrha, but in the end I couldn’t give less of a shit about them. They are fucking side characters, and as intriguing as Nona has been from a worldbuilding standpoint, I ultimately resent having been forced to read 400+ pages of filler bullshit about fucking side characters. I am a butch, and I’m here for my sarcastic, loving, angry, vulnerable, forgiving, and yes, inconvenient sword butch. I’m here for Gideon. But Gideon has been fridged for the last two books of the series in which she is supposed to be a, if not the, main character.

And it feels like almost nobody else in the fandom feels the same way, which, fine. I’m used to that. I’m also used to being told I’m projecting; and I’m used to being told that I’m inconvenient too, in my thoughts and my opinions and the mere fact of my existence. I spent the first eighteen years of my life being told I was inconvenient. Yet another point of overidentification with Gideon.

But in case anybody still thinks that Nona proves that Gideon was an asshole all along, think about all of the above. Think about how it would make you feel to come back from not just death but from the erasure of your existence, something you chose in order to save the life of someone you loved, and be told that you’re inconvenient. Think about how you’d feel if you’d been told all your life that it would be better for everyone if you didn’t exist. And then tell me that Kiriona isn’t in the right and that I should give a rat’s ass what happens to literally anybody else.

It’s Kiriona Hours up in this House, butches. We’ve spent long enough caring about people who would prefer we weren’t around. For once in our entire lives we were told we were important; we were told we mattered; we were told we were the main character. We were going to, if not get the girl and save the world, at least get to do something real, something important, something like being the hero.

But that’s over now; we’re back to being wrong and bad and inconvenient thanks to the simple fact of our existence. So it’s time to embrace it. Let’s be a little shit. Let’s be kind of a dick. Let’s have our own agenda, let’s play our cards close to our heartless chest, let’s allow our circle of empathy to contract to ourselves and maybe one more person. That’s where I’m at right now. And I don’t see that changing anytime soon.

[silverview]

"I think we have got some sort of insight into it. Without just thinking, Oh, these people are mad. And they love something too much."

[milkayart]

a friend said estinien would be esko in finnish so

[doloneia]

as an academic i believe every lost greek epic is a tragic loss of valuable material that could have provided modern scholars an immense amount of insight into homeric tradition. however as an odysseus enjoyer, i think the telegony was kinda cringe and ooc

[ruvviks]

The Dobrynin family is a corpo family through and through, rooted in Arasaka and Orbital Air going back by several generations; though their powerful position within the corporate world ends with the children of Nadya and Matvey Dobrynin. With Vitali and Daniil fired from Arasaka and Kang Tao respectively— the former indirectly getting his parents fired, too— and Roksana having refused to set foot within a megacorporation from the start, the family begins crumbling apart at the very seams when clashing interests lead to grudges, betrayal, and pointless acts of revenge. ↳ read the unrevised fic here if you're interested!

taglist (opt in/out)

@shellibisshe, @florbelles, @ncytiri, @roseeway, @stars-of-the-heart;

@lestatlioncunt, @katsigian, @radioactiveshitstorm, @estevnys, @adelaidedrubman;

@celticwoman, @rindemption, @carlosoliveiraa, @noirapocalypto, @dickytwister;

@killerspinal, @euryalex, @ri-a-rose, @velocitic, @thedeadthree;

@kanos, @swordcoasts, @ordinarymaine, @claudiawolf, @strafethesesinners

[lovesickeros]

lord its so dark in here the sahara desert of tsaritsa content you are like a shining oasis. your characterisation of her compels me & mihoyo would be hard pressed to top it imo.!! caaaaan i humbly request yr thoughts on her first meeting w a reader of any kind, or maybe even multiple kinds (sagau, sagau god au, isekai, etc) if you so desire...

it really is like a desert here. being the fan of a character we aren't getting until the last damn nation is driving me up a wall but i will persevere bc if nothing else i support morally bankrupt women in media. we r in a severe drought over here but i do my best. unfortunately nothing i say is ever coherent so pull out your translation notes its abt 2 be messy

also this got out of hand but thats bc first meetings w the tsaritsa are tricky to write + a LOT of her characterization lies in deeper exploration then just surface level yknow...NOT A DIG AT YOU this is just my excuse for rambling. gently pats the tsaritsa she can hold so much complexity i do not have the word count to delve into it completely :]

gonna talk cult au for a bit here though because that's 99% of my content. and honestly? she thrives in sub au's of the cult au like villain au + imposter au. it's basically made for her. i mean, early days, the imposter au had been going around for a little while but one of the first few ideas was the Fatui taking reader in so like. it kinda technically actually was. pretty sure cult au Tsaritsa popped up because of the imposter au. a lot of it's writers kinda left though which. man am i getting old or.

anyway.

there isn't much of a chance her first impression is all that positive. at best it's usually neutral, imo, but rarely if ever positive. specifically because i view the Tsaritsa as someone who isn't as fanatical as most of the acolytes typically are towards the creator. she's not exactly going to worship the ground you walk on unlike a certain geo lizard. which is partially why i think she thrives in the sub au's i mentioned.

imposter au, for example. she meets you at your lowest. there's no gaudy extravagance or pampering from the acolytes waiting for you because your own acolytes have turned on you. for all intents and purposes you aren't a "god" at all. which is why i don't think she meshes well with normal cult au reader. the Fatui are made up of outcasts, basically, and imposter au slots right in just perfectly. you're weak, at your lowest, when you meet the Fatui in the imposter au. and the Fatui can help you, too.

a mutual exchange, really. the Tsaritsa sees a tool she can use to one up the rest of the nations and especially Archons, and she has no qualms about you using her and the Fatui in turn. you both want something out of it, after all. whether you just want to be safe from the rest of the acolytes, or you want revenge, or whatever else..she'll give you the power to fulfill it, and she gains the strongest piece on the chessboard when all is said and done.

the best way i can describe the first meeting is "practical", i suppose. she sees an opportunity in you. the ultimate gamble. because if she "saves" you, and you dont trust anyone else because they tried to kill you, well..she holds all the cards, doesn't she?

but the Tsaritsa, imo, is just as capable of being just as fanatical towards you as anyone else. she just won't worship you as the creator. but as yourself? clawing your way back to your divine power and taking back what belongs to you? the Tsaritsa is, to me, a character who's character flourishes in long-term fics more because she changes a LOT between "just met reader" and after having been with reader for some time. she's practically apathetic at the beginning but a lot of her character, in my characterization, shines through LONG after the first meeting.

[sleepyheadd0]

soo... i kinda have to hold off on digital art for now bc i kiiinda have a concussion

so have some low quality & effort doodles that i made from doodles i drew traditionally on monday

[askthesolarballsss]

Earth is NOT NOW to fly to the sun The moon will cry

Earth: After how I treated him all this time? No way!... He doesn't deserve to cry because of me.

[eeblouissant]

in this essay I need to talk about the way Dorothy acts around & reacts to stan in this clip (season 4 ep 5) specifically or I will simply perish.

enjoy the unorganized (unedited, and definitely not reread) chaos, this will be more of a ramble than anything - it’s so late & I need to get these thoughts out of my head before I explode.

Firstly, the clip in question:

( 1:15 - 2:22 )

now. Oh boy. Where do I even begin.

As much as I know it was done for comedic effect; the way Dorothy doesn’t hesitate to let herself cuddle into stan (STAN!!! CUDDLING. with STAN. And **publicly** there are so many layers here) when he puts an arm around her, describing what probably were the happier times Dorothy’s mentioned having with him despite it all (or at least a version of them. his version, that he’d created in an attempt to persuade her, as we learn pretty quickly) - oh god it just breaks my heart. She lets herself feel those memories for just a moment, before it all inevitably comes crashing down again. The way she snaps so quickly… that’s something we do not see in younger Dorothy. Younger Dorothy comes off much more passive-aggressive leaning more on the passive (shy?) side, she’s just very logical & no nonsense (but not in the way she is now). That’s something that Dorothy never really loses - Whereas current Dorothy has lost that (passiveness) completely with stan, and seems find it natural to come off as “aggressive” & dominating around/toward others. So - that ability to shut off & become defensive like that, & so fast, was developed later on. She’s got a bite now that was learned, because she had to bite to survive. For her own sanity. Do you know how much work that would take to unlearn & heal, if she ever even tried? oh my. Yeah I’m not well. I don’t think she would have much faith in it changing either, it’s become such a part of her. I think she would feel a little lost without it.

That first bit kills me - but what kills me about this scene most, is that last bit. Where she tries to push back further with a comment she know will be funny and just a little hurtful (towards stan, im sure she thought) and that will further deflect. But it backfires and hurts her instead. Her voice breaks. It breaks and her eyes soften and it looks like that just for a moment she lets the hurt shine through. Because that is especially painful, she cannot bury it. Her entire demeanour changes as those last few words are delivered (and Oh My God do they register fast - like she’d reopened that wound having no idea it was going to sting so badly.) and I just - oh my GOD. For that split second she looks like she might crack, the pain in her voice is so clear. & then the walls go right back up & it’s pushed right back down. I cannot deal. I absolutely cannot. Dorothy has let herself be vulnerable in the past, but has there ever been more than maybe (maybe) a handfull of instances where her voice & face soften that way? Anyway, I’m absolutely losing it over those little details. I’ve yet to find another scene where it feels like younger Dorothy shines through in the current. It hurt my heart so good and I cannot stop thinking about it :’) I think this is my sign to rebinge every episode in order. Because I am definitely forgetting - there has to be more.

Okay that’s all for now! If any of you have any thoughts or personal fav scenes (etc) to share as well please feel free!!! Dorothy angst seems to be my drug of choice lately lmao

(like two bits of this were my own interpretations of Dorothy’s character based on observation, don’t take them as canon nor am I claiming they are, because we obviously don’t know exactly what happened in between + younger Dorothy didn’t have much screen time :’)! Headcanons are just so much fun to throw around!!)

She <333 <33333333 <3 <3 <3 heart heart heart xxoo literal angel

[pixlokita]

Hey idk if this is like. A personal question or something but are you okay? Have you been sleeping? It seems like you're crying a lot and I just wanted to make sure. Sorry if this is like. Parasocial or anything. Just worried.

Oh I’m good ;-; I mean ?? Apparently had a severe lack of vitamins and who knows what else which made me extra emotional but =w= I’ll see the doctor about that tomorrow 🙏 I’m doing better ;w; thank you for asking and no worries I just cry about everything all the time xD

[dylanlila]

average dylanlila.tumblr.com rant be like, but putting that aside for a moment i need to note how special it is that lila gets hung up on beckett of all writers... beckett whose theatre is anti-theatre and beckett who ridicules the supposed shape of things and pokes holes in concepts we all accept as normal without a second thought. this is how lila cerullo functions. she's the embodiment of absurdist theatre. elena tries to fit her into a classic story with a beginning and an end and proper chapters, but lila, much like an absurdist play, challenges structure of these things and refuses to fit the pages. there is no well-made novel because there are no well-made people. lila doesn't enter elena's computer to rewrite the story, but she does give it a cyclic absurdist element by sending elena the dolls which mark the beginning of their journey.

lila doesn't approve of seeing what beckett does as absurdism for the sake of absurdism... "it's something that suggests a thousand more" is a statement that exists in direct opposition to viewing human life as meaningless. what she's saying here more closely resembles an existentialist viewpoint where an unlikely or shocking thing can be the key to living authentically if we are capable of giving it meaning. lila of course is scared of the intensity of her senses so she figures the secret of life must be in reducing senses to a minimum or even better: eliminating them entirely. it's as shocking as camus suggesting that sisyphus might have enjoyed his punishment. what i am trying to say in the most incoherent manner imaginable is that lila exists as someone who doesn't fit within the very nature of life (or so she's made to believe) so for her to read about how maybe that life which supposedly doesn't have a place for her might not be what she's been taught to belive it is comes as a relief? source of fascination? so that night where she experienced dissolving boundaries for the first time exists in written word and isn't limited to her head? idk... it's just cool to me how she's introduced to a writer who doubts the very structure of everything when she herself struggles with the architecture of life and the shape of things so profoundly...

[foileadeux]

im silly im silly im silly

[thequeenofmyownscreen]

I feel like the Experiences part of the Character creation in Daggerheart have a lot of potential to be memes.

Like 'Do Not Perceive Me' or 'the Homer Simpson' as a way to blend in and stealth through crowd, or maybe a nearby bush.

Or 'Hide the Pain Harold' for a warrior who's determined to push through a serious attack

Or 'I Crave That Mineral' for a weird obsession (and knowledge !) about natural salt

Or 'This Is Fine' for hanging on by a Hope in really desperate times

[falmerbrook]

If you'd like, tell me your favorite parts about Eilwen or Elisere. Reading briefly about your snow elves and want to know about them!

aaaa thank you for the ask!! :D I will gladly talk about these two, Elisere is one of my favorite OCs

(quick tldr for them for those who don't know: Elisere is my dragonborn and Eilwen is her grandmother. They are altmer with snow elf ancestry. Eilwen is a professor of Skyrim history at a university in Firsthold, but does so as a means to study snow elf history (and the falmer) on the side. Both are very proud and invested in the culture and history of the snow elves)

It's kinda hard to say what my favorite parts of them necessarily are, but I can say what's been on my mind a lot with them recently (for both)!

For Eilwen first: I try to keep her passionate, but pragmatic. Like, she's deeply invested in studying the falmer and snow elves, but she knows that if she were super upfront and openly passionate about it, especially at work, at best she wouldn't be taken seriously and lose her job, and at worst she would get in trouble with the Thalmor. So she plays nice, shuts up, and does her job well and to the propagandistic standards requied of her so she can have the support and means to pursue the research that actually matters to her. Poor Elisere is the exact opposite of that, and Eilwen always worried it was going to bite her in the ass some day.

For Elisere: I want her to be super pathetic (at first). Just the most pitifully unlikable woman on Tamriel. She arrives to Skyrim thinking of it as some rural shithole full of dumb humans that don't even know what magic is, just to constantly be shown up in nearly every circumstance. She's a powerful mage, but being a good mage does not make her good at fighting, or survival in the wild, or navigation, or social relationships, and throwing elemental blast at everything causes more problems than solves them. She's abrasive to everyone and has a superiority complex when she first get's to Skyrim, but after the world puts in her place and she starts to show the province more respect, she actually comes to find the culture and social environment less hostile and more comfortable for her. She didn't even realize how anxious and stressed Alinor made her her whole life.