#and somehow this gets added

[kazoo-the-demjin]

Andrew: When I was your age-

Neil: When i was your height

[egophiliac]

since Eng is getting 7.5 soon(?), I felt motivated to go back to my Meleanor rig and make her a couple of lesson animations! ...except for alchemy, because the cauldron bubbles proved too hard to photoshop around, whoops.

maybe she just got lost on her way to the classroom...?

(credit: backgrounds are from the game, I just put her on top of 'em)

(aside from the backgrounds, this is not an edit, I drew her from scratch! please do not tag or treat as an edit!)

[savanir]

DP x DC prompt [3]

during one of the final psych evals at Arkham right before he gets to be released, the whole thing wrapped up so tidy, just a little relapse which involved a robbery. Getting sent back to Arkham, but he got to stay at the asylum so long that he no longer has to serve a prison sentence, score!

But during that eval his overseeing psychiatrist recommended him to have a change of scenery, some fresh non polluted air.

Riddler was rather convinced the guy was making this recommendation to everyone in Arkham in their own weird way to convince them to just leave Gotham and become someone else's problem. should he notify Batman about it somehow? nah, it’ll be more interesting to see how this is gonna turn out in the long run.

But can he leave the state? Can he even leave the city? he never really bothered to look into it, at least not legally, up until now if he felt he needed to leave for one of his plans he just did it.

Turns out he can, it’s a whole hassle and a half though, first a judge and then a probation officer and he’s pretty sure both were like “what the hell is this psychiatrist guy thinking!?” but at the same time, shrink probably knows what he’s doing (WRONG) so he’s allowed to go visit out of state family or whatever.

he had to wear this nice ankle monitor though, Wayne Enterprises™ tech, not overly bulky but still very present. real fancy, and a fun extra challenge heh.

now as for a good reason to leave New Jersey he’s going to need distant relatives, and he finds some, great grandpa walker also has a son, who had a son who had a daughter Madeline, who married some guy Jack Fenton, and she lives somewhere out in the boonies Illinois. great he’ll visit her.

far enough away in all sense of the word that there is no way she knows anything about him. it would be best to call her first though, be polite about it.

“hello, you have reached Fenton works, this is Maddie speaking” 

“Riddle me this-” ah whoops, habit, oh whatever, “we don’t share parents, but certainly a part of your life, from laughter to strife. Who am I?”

there is a pause …  he’s going to be a bit disappointed if she hangs up if he’s honest.

“cousins~” comes the cheery reply.

“correct! the name is Edward Nygma, we are distantly related you and I and well-”

“oh you simply must come visit!” 

well this was rather easy, perhaps a little too easy, but she lives in the midwest so maybe just going with whatever some guy says over the phone is normal there? stranger danger not really a thing in a small town where everyone knows everyone?

things start to make a little more sense once he gets there and he’s starting to think some things might run in the family. like a preference for the colour green and weird hyperfixations and genius bordering on insanity. Though that remains to be seen, Jack does not seem like a very bright light after his very enthusiastic welcome.

their kids however are observant and sharp. young Jasmine is wasting no time trying to psychoanalyze him. and the boy, Danny, he had not really meant to and he swears he’s sticking with calling the kid Danny so he wouldn’t seem overly familiar, but he might have called him little bird a couple times now.

but that’s all whatever, he’s playing nice here. and he doesn’t even have to worry about his eccentricities tripping him up because this place is insane.

There actually is a local teen vigilante active but he seems about as loved as he’s disliked. and the ghost boy’s enemies are basically all his own kind, which another crazy thing to now know about. ghost. they are real actually, how is Gotham not completely overrun? and how do they even work? and where do they keep coming from?

Edward might be getting a little sidetracked here. He had fully intended to sneakily get his next big game plan underway all the way out here, ankle monitor be damned. but he hasn’t made any progress at all.

Instead he’s been listening to Madeline and Jack to maybe figure out what the deal is with these ectoplasmic entities, he has to know, at this point he might go crazier if he doesn’t. 

He’s making Jasmine promise him not to get her doctorate in Gotham, he’s going back and forth with space riddles with Danny.

so yeah the whole thing kinda just became a vacation, maybe the psychiatrist had the right idea after all? hmm nah, probably not. but this is fun. He’s thinking about recommending this place to some of the others.

It's different enough to get the vacation feel, but enough crazy shit happens to make it all feel like home.

it is not until Maddie wants to talk with him about potentially switching the position of godfather of Danny to him rather than some weird rich friend of theirs that Edward realizes he might have lost the plot somewhere

Apparently the little bird basically begged them with a powerpoint presentation on how he likes Edward so much more than that Vladimir guy. 

And honestly, the fellow sounds like a Dracula Lutho so even if it’s kinda sad Edward can understand why he’d be considered a better option. Even if the guy has more money and a huge company that makes him said money. And it’s not like the Fentons know about his Riddler activities.

Thinking it over, Edward does think that Danny would like Gotham and Wayne has that space program thing right? The kid is definitely smart enough for that (Nygma certified), and yeah Edward does quite like their space themed back and forth. So, fuck it, why not, what is the worst that could happen?

He doubts Maddie and Jack are gonna kick it any time soon anyway out here in the boonies, it’s just a title thing, a stamp of approval or something.

he should have known he was going to eat those words later… he had this whole beautifully elaborate trap set up for the whole Batclan, and he was just getting to the good part when his phone went off.

Had to put the whole thing on pause cause that particular contact wasn’t gonna get ignored. He did promise to be available.

If the whole thing he had planned now went tits up he could at the very least laugh later at the reactions of the bats as he told them to “hold up one second, I have to take this.” while they were all in various perilous positions. 

Sadly he did have to go, he had a very distressed godson to pick up.

[journey-to-the-attic]

approximation of an idea i had for how ik solves levi's ordeal whenever it's his turn for this weird demon puberty everyone in nb s2 is having

from this post

[thebramblewood]

When you're engaged in an intense stare down with damn near every vampire in town - and probably losing.

Featuring vampires by @itcrescentcrow, @fallstaticexit, @simsdaughters, @antiquatedsimmer, @vicciouxs, @moonwoodhollow, @skyalenesims, @living-undead, @moonfromearth, @queenmabsim, @mosquito-cove, @raye-sim and @evilgoof. Thank you so much for your contributions! I hope you don't mind my embellishments. And to everyone still waiting, I appreciate your patience and there will be several future opportunities! 🧛

Previous / Next

The Top Dog

Vladislaus Straud:

Founder of Forgotten Hollow, de facto ruler

Lilith’s estranged (it’s complicated) sire

Enjoys lurking (read: eavesdropping) from afar

Cagey about his past, claims not to recall his years as a human (if he ever was one?)

Rumblings of discontent with his antiquated  ways

Empire may be crumbling (if rotting, junk-filled castle is any indication)

(Lilith: And that god awful crow! It’s got to be as old as he is. Christ, the racket it makes!)

Veronica Aurelius:

Straud’s new protege (niece?)

Related through a distant bloodline (Lilith: Allegedly.)

Accomplished artist, historian, medium

Dreams led her to Forgotten Hollow (Lilith: Doubtful.)

Lilith’s replacement? (Lilith: He wishes.)

(Caleb: She looks sweet, but there’s a vicious streak beneath that glossy veneer.)

-

The Old Guard (Lilith: In other words, Straud’s minions.)

Elle DeVampiro, Inna Cents, Vlad Bloodvein:

aka The Nobles (Lilith: Fossilized Bitch, Slightly Less Fossilized Bitch, and The Inferior Vlad.)

Council of ancients who guard town’s borders from human trespassers

View vampirism as elite society: only most deserving should be initiated

Have hazing rituals to weed out weaklings

Never-ending blood supply flows from mysterious sources

Eternal life of ease has left them physically weakened, social status protects them

(Helena: Hazing rituals?

Caleb: Mind tricks. Intimidation tactics. Like humans, newborn vampires can be manipulated.

Lilith: Stop scaring her! A strong breeze could knock them over.)

Claudius and Marie Bouvet:

aka The Occult Hunters

Hunt spellcasters for their power

Hunt “exotic” occults (mermaids, aliens, fairies, etc.) to siphon and sell blood, consumed as an indulgent luxury

(Helena: Wait, you’re telling me mermaids and aliens are real?

Caleb: We exist. Is it really so hard to believe they do too?)

Hunt werewolves for sport (owing to centuries-long feud)

Sometimes hired to kill vampires if deemed a threat to community’s existence

(Helena: Werewolves!

Lilith: They smell like wet dog and taste awful.

Caleb: That hardly gives us the right to kill them.

Lilith: Oh, so we should just let them kill us?)

Elizabetha Bathoris:

aka The Gossip Hound (Lilith: She deserves a far nastier title. Sanctimonious cunt.)

Forgotten Hollow’s premier shit-stirrer

Rumored to bathe in virgins’ blood

Delights in spilling secrets that aren’t hers to tell

Loudly claims to be Straud’s “one who got away,” though unconfirmed by man himself

(Lilith: [scoffs] There’s only room for one delusional narcissist in that household.

Caleb: Lilith, please. At this rate, we’ll never finish.)

Carmela Castellano:

Owns sprawling private vineyard in countryside where Forgotten Hollow and Windenburg meet

Crafts exclusive (and expensive) blood vintages

Known for frequently dipping into her own supply

Hoped to raise adoptive daughter Pandora as protege

However, Pandora’s rebelliousness has led to household tensions

(Lilith: Nothing rivals the rush of feeding, but her blends come damn close.)

-

The Enigmas (Lilith: No one knows shit about them, and that’s how they like it.)

Dorian Vasile:

Born vampire, not transformed

Agoraphobic recluse, never seen to leave ruined cottage

Once prominent member of vampire society with many friends — and enemies

Fatal end to human love affair rumored to have led to voluntary isolation

Griselda Oreolo:

(Caleb: I wouldn’t recommend wandering any graveyards at night unless you want to meet The Bride.

Helena: The Bride?

Caleb: She can be quite ruthless.

Helena: As if I don’t already have enough graveyard-related trauma.)

An aristocrat transformed on wedding day, fated to dwell forever on what could have been

Cemeteries are her favorite hunting grounds

Not one for friendly conversation

Defends self first and foremost, no allegiance to other vampires

Nyx?:

Origins, real name, language unknown

Lurks the forest like a cryptid - quick, silent, and deadly

Known to kill men, disposes of withered bodies like a cat leaving gifts of mice for its owner (Lilith: Honestly, good for her.)

Interrupt mid-hunt at your own peril

-

The Challengers

Emet and Maxima Galvus

Obscenely wealthy tech CEO and “granddaughter”

Whispers they’re both much older than they look, by hundreds or even thousands of years (Lilith: I’ve yet to see any proof of that.)

Seem to purposely cultivate air of mystery, socializing little

Keep small coven as waitstaff

Emet fiercely protective of Maxima, though is he protecting her from world or world from her?

(Caleb: Don’t be dramatic, Lil. Yes, that stare of hers is unsettling, but-

Lilith: There’s nothing more aggravating than a precocious child. I don’t trust her one bit.)

Ulric Blüt and Herta Nacht:

(Lilith: I can’t believe you think they warrant serious inclusion. A delusional brat and his pathetic enabler are hardly a threat.)

A supposed demon overlord in the body of a child and his “14th Seneschal”

Taken deadly seriously by himself and no one else

Boasts Grim Reaper fears him, many assassinations dodged

Except his strangely devoted companion

Companion stealthily observant, formulating plans of her own?

Details of supposed coup TBD

Countess Maria Francisca Flores:

Mad vampire scientist (Lilith: [scoffs] An old woman doing science fair experiments.)

Claims to have transformed herself via scientific methods

Seeks to grow her “House Flores” with new vampires devoted to pursuit of knowledge

Unpublished manuscript on vampire anatomy

Old Guard disapprove, but for now human academics remain steadfast in denial

Currently studying cowplants, which scholars can admit do exist

(Helena: If she turned herself into a vampire, can’t she reverse-engineer a cure?

Caleb: I’ve asked. She’s incredibly tight-lipped about her findings.

Lilith: Because they’re non-existent!)

-

The Next Generation

Beginning in ‘60s and ‘70s, an influx of new vampires into Forgotten Hollow

Old Guard bristle at modernism but grudgingly admit transplants necessary to keep town thriving

Recent turnees or experienced vamps who’d rather evolve with times than stay stuck in past

Tend to form cliques based on shared subcultures

Enjoy mixing with humans, easily mistaken as such by undiscerning eyes (often a deadly mistake)

Less concerned with secrecy, hedonistic, impulsive

(Lilith: “Not coincidentally, shortly after we returned, what was once a trickle became a flood.”)

Example: Grunge Gang

Kiona and Nikan: trouble-making twins, street smart, book stupid

Vonny: stoner type, prefers when meals come to him

Clarissa: paranormal investigator turned paranormally investigated

Tara: wants to be good, surrounded by bad influences

Pandora: favors rock concerts over wine-making

-

Lilith: Did you get all that down? Rest up! The hands-on portion begins tomorrow.

[kleefkruid]

Benefits of having a larger following on tumblr:

€0

the specific and slow mental torture of people adding the same joke to your post over and over again up to a 1000 times

"Hey your dad really reminds me of this anime character I write like so much porn about, thought you'd wanna know"

Sometimes a star trek actor likes a picture of your cat that's fun

[skellycrows]

Dc x Dp Fantasy au

fantasy AU where Tim is, predictably, a prince of the kingdom of Gotham. except he continues to want nothing to do with the family bullshit and much like how in canon he made up a fake uncle, he attempts to worm out of being trapped (read- loved and cared for) by investigating a neighboring kingdom via infiltration. Bruce does not enjoy this. Bruce does not have a choice, because trying to stop Tim is like trying to keep a cat away from that one thing you really don't want said cat to touch; impossible.

bordering kingdom meanwhile is a place of magic and mystery and ghosts. this is why so little is known about it. its freaky. this is all due to the fact that its set, functionally, in the place where the border between the infinite realms and the physical world is thinnest. due to all the magic shit the people there have learned to live in very specific ways for their own safety and most newcomers either leave before learning much or, yk, die. this means what little information that gets out is vague and unreliable, and all the other kingdoms are really wary of the place. any attempts to reach out and establish connections have been met with silence, as if its cut off from the world. spies don't return. forcing their way in would risk strife and war. as it is, they mostly ignore the place, since it doesn't cause them much trouble- except that recently, odd glowing green creatures have been escaping into the other lands. somethings gotta be done.

Tim decides he's that something.

Meanwhile, Danny, teen boy that's freshly coronated as king, attempting to deal with stabilizing both Amity kingdom and the infinite lands, the magic keeping all the malicious shit where the people that can handle it weakening, among about a million other things when a pretty boy his age that knows how to handle political shit and somehow adjusts to the crazy magic society shows up: "please save me please please please-"

[theethoslab]

Absolutely losing my mind over Scar’s stream today

He was already talking to Etho while catching ocelots

Joel logs in and Scar immediately asks if Etho wants to go visit him

We get so many Etho lore crumbs (although he doesn’t fully confirm anything except having stubble and trying to get rid of 2 extra house generators)

They hang out for like 2 hours doing nothing hut chatting

Eventually Scar leaves but forgot that he left his ocelots at Etho’s because he was so excited about boat boys that he never brought them home

[misersdream]

Slay the Prince - Happily Ever After

[xrenyaa]

[based on the statue „génie du mal“ by guillaume geefs]

sukuna being the fallen one is the one thing that will never leave my brain

[tippenfunkaport]

They should invent an America that doesn't suck

[yujeong]

Alright, that's enough. I need everyone to be normal about Tonkla right the fuck now.

The takes I've seen about that man have made me lose my mind, to the point where I'm wondering if I've been watching the same show as everyone else. From him spreading diseases to his partners to him faking his grief and doing everything he does for attention, I've been quite perplexed while exploring the show's tags on here and on Twitter to say the least.

Guys. I've said it before and I'll say it again. Tonkla is NOT a difficult character to understand. Korn is arguably more of an inscrutable character than him.

Tonkla has been grieving since we first met him; at first his relationship with Korn that's changed to the point of no return and later his brother who got murdered.

That's it. I don't know why we're demonizing a man who 1) likes having sex and 2) is using sex to get the affection - affection, not attention - he seeks from the man whom he loves and from the man who loves him but Tonkla doesn't.

(I know why and I'll rant in the tags about it 🙂)

And while we're on the subject, I need everyone to be normal about Fuaiz, too, because the takes about his taking this role are even worse. People calling what BOC did by casting him grooming, calling the fans groomers and pedophiles, and so on and so forth.

Are you serious? Are you for real?

Fuaiz played White in DFF who was crying and being in distress 90% of the time, a show which included a scene where he pretended to get stabbed and where he got shaken by Jjay who was screaming to his face. I watched the BTS clip of that - the kid needed a moment to calm down from that experience.

Do you care about that in the same way or is it only a problem when he's pretending to get fucked on screen in a secluded, safe environment with a fucking Intimacy Director involved?

I can totally understand feeling uncomfortable about his age or about the age gap between him and Bas. I'm not judging anyone for that. But there's a difference between feeling discomfort and turning that discomfort into a morality issue. Please stop doing that.

[skunkes]

wears off in a month or so

[hemlock-dreams]

"Wade's waist needs WD-40 after Spidey is done with him" <- I need you to know that this specific sentence propelled me into the stratosphere lmaoooooo

Wade's youtube channel feed rn:

[koinotame]

all yours and all mine

word count: 2.5K content warnings: unhealthy relationship dynamics, alcohol consumption (childe is drunk, but there’s no depiction of drinking itself), vague implication of breaking and entering and subsequent murder, dehumanisation/objectification (not at reader), they/them is used for reader

a/n: this a repost (lightly edited)! and a sequel to this. like the previous installments, you can read this as a modern au but (this one in particular) it'll make much more sense with the previous context. also on ao3! no intruders were harmed in the production of this chapter

"[nameeee]—"

the way he whines out your name, pulling you into stumbling arms before you can say anything in return, is more than enough to tell you ajax is almost definitely drunk.

he giggles when you wrap your arms around his back, then abrubtly stops. "ah wait, your name is sacred and I shouldn’t use it so casually…. I’m sorry, please forgive me, your grace~"

…your grace?

well. that confirms your suspicions, you guess?

"you don’t sound very sorry," you quip without any real malice, trying to close the door with him still wrapped around you. the guy who dropped him off (some friend of ajax’s you’ve seen once or twice before) snickers behind his hand and waves when you shoot him a grateful look.

ajax giggles into the crown of your head. "that’s because I love you~ and I love using your name… but not as much as I love you."

"mhm, I love you t—" you squeak when he suddenly throws his arms around your waist, picking you up and twirling you around. he responds to your protests with more laughter, but he does put you down swiftly and instead stuffs his face into your shoulder.

"they said they love me…. I’m so lucky, ahh." he keeps going before you can ask him about the title he used earlier. "you’re all mine, and I’m all yours."

come to think about it… didn’t he say something similar when he was proposing?

"but," he whispers into your neck like he’s telling you some secret only the two of you can be privy to, "even if you weren’t all mine, as long as I’m all yours, I wouldn’t mind."

he rubs his face across your neck and shoulder like a happy cat marking his owner, his hold on your waist tightening slightly. your hand comes up to cart through his hair, and he starts making some sort of rumbling noise.

is he… is he purring?

you try to push all of that out of your thoughts and focus on making sure he’s okay. "…hey, when’s the last time you drank water?"

he stays quiet for a bit, then speaks up just as you’re about to repeat your question. "I dunno."

you sigh, barely registering the whimper that escapes him. "could you sit down?"

he whines, his arms tightening even more. "I don’t wanna leave you…"

"don’t be like that. you need some water… and some medicine." when he doesn’t move, you decide it’s time to pull out the 'good boy' strategy. "I can’t carry both you and the water, so please be good and go sit, okay?"

he stays quiet for a bit again, before his arms hesitantly retract from you. "mmgh, okay…"

he obediently trots over to the couch (not before shooting you a sad look). by the time you come back, he’s discarded his jacket and shoes. you make a note to move them once you get him tucked in.

"I missed you," he whines out, making grabby hands in your direction.

"it’s been three minutes, you sap."

then, figuring he won’t mind too much, you hook your fingers into his mouth and gently pry it open. he makes some sort of choking noise and immediately propels backwards, covering his mouth with his hands.

for a second you’re worried you went too far, but looking at his face he seems more embarrassed than uncomfortable. his eyes look off to the side, his entire face flushed. "don’t look, I don’t want you to think I’m gross."

biting your tongue, you try to hold back your chuckle. "you’re so adorable I could eat you up."

he whines, hands still covering his mouth, and sinks down into the couch further. "I wish you would…"

it’s a weird thing to say, but you chalk it off to his alcohol-addled brain not being able to convey himself properly.

you reach out the pill to him and he takes it without complaint, swallowing it and then the rest of the glass you hand him. when he pats the space next to him and you sit down, he immediately slides his head onto your lap.

his hand comes up to play with your hair, his gaze wistful and distant.

after several moments of silence, he pipes up quietly. "I was made for you, you know."

"mhm," your hand cups his cheek. "and I was made for you."

he frowns, his hand coming down to press against yours. "no."

you tilt your head. "no?" you know he’s always been more focused on you, but there seems to be something deeper to this than just him having low self worth… but then again, you’ve never been good at reading others.

"no," he repeats, still frowning. "you never understand. I was literally made for you. without you, I wouldn’t exist." his hand drops and he sighs before you have the opportunity to really process his words. "it’s flattering when you say you love me and that you were made for me too, but…"

you don’t say anything, your hands suddenly feeling cold and clammy.

his gaze is intense when it turns to you again. "you should treat me like the tool I am… then I wouldn’t get all confused."

his hand clutches at his shirt, around where his heart is. "every time you treat me so gently, I feel like my insides are exploding. it makes me feel like I’m special…"

he stops for a few seconds, blinking blearily at you.

"…to you. like I’m special to you." he repeats the words as if they’re hard for him to believe, as if he can’t accept that you’d care for him even now. as if the idea of you loving him is entirely foreign to him.

weakly, you swallow. "…you should get to bed."

he groans suddenly, his hand coming to cover his eyes. "uugh, I don’t want to get up… I still need to clean up that pest that broke in…"

he needs to what.

"ajax." you shake him, urgency in your tone. "ajax, what."

he groans again, flopping around a bit. "don’t tell them, they’d just get mad 'nd never approve… if they get mad and hate me, I’ll die."

"no you won’t," you shake him again. he whines. "ajax, what did you do?"

"you don’t understanddd," he starts, dragging his hands down his face in a way that would be comical in any other situation, then rolling over and squishing his face against your tummy. "they’re the reason I was even born. if they get mad… my life is over."

and— you’ve always been aware your fiancé has some problems, and maybe didn’t have the happiest childhood, and has a bad tendency to put you first no matter what, but this is way beyond any of that.

is this… how he’s felt the entire time?

you briefly wonder if you made him feel this way, or if the idea of anyone loving him and treating him kindly is alien to him.

"I was so worried, you know," he starts before you can say anything, "when I first saw them, they didn’t recognise me… or any of the others. but the second I saw them, I knew. that was them. that was who I was born for. my whole life’s purpose."

your breath hitches. how… how are you supposed to respond to that? tears sting at your eyes. maybe it’s ironic of you to feel this way, but you can’t stand how fond he sounds.

"I’m so happy…" his arms tighten around you. "even if they only know me as their sweet roommmate ajax and not the ajax that would give up everything for them, that would take over the world and sacrifice his entire life for them…" he sighs dreamily. "I’m so happy."

the more he talks, the less his words make sense, and the more your stomach drops.

"ajax," you try shaking him again. "come on, get up. you should sleep."

he whines but dutifully unrolls from your stomach, blinking up sleepily at you. then he puts up his fist and goes "woof!"

and, despite everything, you stifle a chuckle.

"come on, big boy, get up." you pat his cheek gently, affectionately.

he makes some noise of complaint but sits up anyway, rubbing at his eye. it’s like he’s forgotten that he thought you were someone else just moments ago. "mmgh, good tools shouldn’t need help from their owners…"

your smile falls. "ajax, we’re engaged. I’m not your owner."

he shakes his head, still facing away from you. "no, you do own me."

nervously, you try, "…you mean your heart?"

his head lolls to the side. "mhm, that too." he adds it on like an afterthoughts, and the heavy feeling in your gut intensifies.

"if we’re engaged… that means you can still return me, right?" he keeps going before you can ask about his word choice or rebuke his thought process. "then I gotta work extra hard to keep appealing to you…"

he starts counting off on his hands. "you don’t like it when I take care of our household, or when I cook for you, or when I get you stuff…" he trails off, then lights up just as you’re about to tell him you don’t dislike him when he does any of that, you just don’t want to take advantage of him. "oh! what about my body?"

his empty eyes stare at you as he brings your hands to the bottom of his shirt. a whine escapes him when you don’t move your hands.

"my body is no good either?"

"your body is fine," you let go of his clothes to intertwine your hand with his. "and I don’t mind if you do stuff for me, really! I just… you’re always so eager, and it makes me feel kind of bad. I don’t want to take advantage of you."

he tilts his head, looking genuinely confused. "why not?"

it’s your turn to blink at him in confusion. "wh… what do you mean?"

he squeezes your hands. "isn’t it good if I’m useful to you…? I’m all yours, you shouldn’t hesitate to use me. I…" he looks away, almost bashfully, though his eyes keep darting back to your face. "want you to take advantage of me. that means I'm useful and worth keeping around, right?"

"that’s, um, why." your throat is dry. "I don’t… I don’t want either of us to think of it as using you."

he stays quiet for a few seconds, and you almost think you’ve finally gotten through to him. "…are you worried about me?" a lovesick smile spreads on his face and he sighs sweetly. "ahh, you’re so sweet, I love you… but I can take it. if I couldn’t, then I’d have no right to call myself yours."

he brings one of your hands to his mouth and presses a gentle kiss to it. "being a weapon in this world is no good… but I can at least be a useful tool for you."

he presses another kiss to your other hand. "I want to be useful to you… it’s the least you deserve."

"I don’t deserve this much," you begin but trail off, unsure what words would fit best.

"you do." he insists, holding your stare. "you deserve so much more. if anything, I’m the one who feels selfish."

your throat runs dry.

"you should be living in a palace built especially for you, worshipped by everyone in the land… but here I am, selfishly keeping you to myself and cooped up in this small apartment. I’m greedy, insatiable, and I don’t feel bad about it at all…"

you almost don’t want to ask. "who else would even worship me? I’m really not that special."

"you are," he insists, squeezing your hands. "tons of people would. there’s those people I have the disgrace of calling coworkers, that haughty excuse of a dragon, and…" he trails off, listing some more people you don’t recognise.

it’s definitely not the most outrageous thing he’s said (a dragon? gods? worshipping you? yeah, he’s definitely drunk), but you can’t help but wonder. "aren’t you unemployed?"

he doesn’t say anything, simply staring at your intertwined hands.

"I wish our fates were intertwined like our hands," he says, and somewhere in the back of your head that sparks a small memory. "but the truth is my fate is like a string tangled up in your fingers."

you squeeze his hands in return, and he sighs. you can’t tell if it’s in fondness or something else.

"if I can’t be your tool, can I at least be your loyal knight?"

you hate the part of you that just wants to tell him yes, the part of you that wants to just surrender and stop fighting him. it’s clearly what he wants… but another part of you is just as aware that wouldn’t do any good for either of you.

instead of voicing any of that, you change the subject. "how about you go to bed now?"

he frowns. "just be’cuz my head is all fuzzy doesn’t mean I didn’t mean any of that."

I know, you want to say, and that’s the scariest part.

"ajax, please." he whimpers, but drops the topic.

it’s quiet for a couple more minutes before he pipes up again. "can we at least take a bath together before going to bed? I wanna wash your back and hair."

you sigh, dropping his hands and getting up. "fine, but no more talking about this."

he doesn’t make any noise of acknowledgement, and you’re halfway out the door before you notice. when you turn, he’s staring blankly at his empty hands. "ajax?"

his head snaps to you. "right."

he almost falls asleep while you’re washing his hair, and you’re worried he’ll fall asleep in the bath for real, but he wakes up enough to protest when you try to get out without him having had the chance to return the favour.

you try not to think too much about the claw-shaped scars on his side, about how his earlier comment about some dragon might not have been too farfetched. about how that would even be possible. about what that would mean for how he insists he was made for you.

he asks you if you really don’t like his body ("I’ve honed it for you for years," he insists! you can only hope that’s an exaggeration on his part) again while attempting to dry you off, then starts whining when you don’t answer him.

you usher him to bed while he continues complaining, but he falls asleep fairly quickly once you get him tucked in (and wrapped around you, a fact you’ve come to accept just comes with sleeping with ajax).

it takes you a while longer to clear your own thoughts and nod off. you just hope he won’t remember any of this tomorrow.

wait, your eyes snap open just as you’re on the verge of fully falling asleep, he never answered your questions about that intruder.

[ingravinoveritas]

David Tennant and Alex Hassell in a new ad for Burberry.

Also the above quote is extracted from an accompanying article and is...interesting. Michael Sheen on Bluesky, you have the opportunity to do the funniest thing ever right now...