#and some of the lyrics remind me of said character of the playlist

[kxtio]

hey I have made some raimiverse inspired character/ship playlists…so if anyone wants to listen to them then here you go!

[demodraws0606]

DRDT CHARACTER THEME PLAYLIST - My Personal Interpretation

Warning : This playlist was deleted by DRDTdev and thus this is mostly meant to be something fun, and also because people have posted a lot of interpretations that I don't agree with (and I've always wanted to make my own).

So a while back DRDTdev made a playlist that they've now deleted, however I've seen a lot of people making their own posts about who fits which song. However since I'm not "like the other girlsTM", i had mixed feelings on how certain songs were assigned.

Some songs will be exactly the same as some other posts, mainly because they make the most sense to me but I do have some interesting shifts here and there that I will try to explain.

However I want to get the obvious ones out of the way first

UNDEAD ENEMY : David Chiem

I think this one is the most obvious song in the playlist. The song talks about a person who has put on a mask and is miserable trying to addear to the expectations of that mask. There is a lot of pent up frustration and anger in those lyrics which also is very fitting for David.

There is also the hints of something more behind those feelings of hatred, despite how much he's learned to hate the world there's still a sliver of him that still wants genuine companionship.

YESMAN : Nico Hakobyan

This song already fits Nico purely from the introvert lines. I'm joking, that's not just why I considering Yesman to be Nico's song. This song fits really well with Nico's frustration with being a pushover (or you could say a Yesman) and just how society has always treated them poorly.

The song itself is about being forced to do something, like a boring job, and despite how much hatred you feel you still keep on trying to keep your head low and do what your told. I think all of that really fits Nico's arc and what we know of them so far. Someone who constantly is pushed down by other and has been taught that they need to accept it.

SHUNRAN : Arei Nageishi

This song could also fit Ace as another aggressive person who just wants companionship but I personally think this song fits Arei way better especially with the beginning line ("I won't pay attention to small fry" has a lot of Arei vibes).

This song fits Arei's desire to want love and the contradiction that comes with her aggressive personality. She feels that it's unfair how life punished her which fits a lot with the line "They say that praying to be loved is a sin" as she was constantly denied that love. The lines as well about your personality slipping and crying reminds me of Arei's breakdown.

Hi-Fi Evolution Theory : Veronika  Grebenshchikova

This song is very vague but despite that it is 100 pourcent a Veronika song.

I don't fully know what the song means in itself but the lyrics really fit Veronika's issues with boredom and her enjoyement of the killing game. There's a lot of lines about laughing and wanting to be entertained which just goes with her really well with her character.

Cartoons : Rose Lacroix

Ok, I think I lied when I said Undead Enemy was the most obvious song, THIS is the most obvious song. I don't think there's much analysis to be done to convince anyone that this is would Rose's theme.

This song reflects well Rose's depression and pain surrounding her talent and just how her life turned out in general. It kinda has that dissociative numbness in the lyrics that just fits her really well.

Sing Along : Teruko Tawaki

This song really fits Teruko extremely well especially her abandonnement issues. The song itself sounds aggressive but it oozes of longing and sadness.

A lot of the lyrics fit her feelings of being betrayed by Xander and Min, people she's gotten close to in a short time but immediatly ended up betraying her. It also fits her feeling towards her brother who ended up leaving her as well.

Now let's take a break and tackle the Instrumental songs !! This is where things start to change from other posts so get ready.

Spitfire (05 Version) : J Rosales

This one just fits J's vibes quite well. It's aggressive but also isn't too serious or intimidating, it just sounds like something J would listen in the car.

It also just has this...manly energy (?) or punk-ish energy that J has, it fits her rejecting the traditional feminity her mom tried to force on her.

Main Theme, Diamond is Unbreakable : Xander Matthews

This song is literally Xander vibes and you can fight me on that, it has a very dramatic and grandiose sound (especially when the piano comes in) that just fits how Xander holds himself (as you can see with that pose).

It's the exact type of theme I would expect from someone being the Ultimate Rebel. There's also more actively aggressive parts that I think also fit Xander, as we see he's got a short tamper when his ideologies are challanged and he also just is surprisingly quick to resort to violence.

desk rotation by RQ laji-2: Charles Cuevas

You can fight me again because you cannot tell this Bill Nye intro ass track doesn't fit Charles. Again it's hard to argue considering assigning instrumental tracks is really just based on vibes however this song really has a huge science show feel to it.

I could imagine hearing it while Charles is doing chemistry stuff or theorizing during the class trial.

Now let's go back to the lyrical songs, and this is where things start to go a bit crazy and I might need to justify myself a bit more.

asymptotic : Min Jeung

I know Charles is considered the resident nerd guy but you cannot NOT give the song about math puns to Min.

I think this song works really well for Min's relationship with Teruko. It especially reminds me of what Teruko says to Min before she gets excecuted that they "should've never gotten attached to one another".

This song is about a romantic relationship that could never happen, which I think represents Min's own feelings towards Teruko. About how they could've been closer but now they'll always be drifting apart.

How Min in a way sacrificed her life for Teruko but again she'll always be "out of reach". A relationship that could never happen under the killing game's circumstances.

RUNAWAY : Levi Fontana

I think this song especially with what Levi revealed to us latest episode REALLY fits him.

A song about a person who is repeteadly failling to try and "become better". The lines about "searching" and "tripping" goes in line with Levi's behavior in chapter 2. He's awkwardly trying to reach an ideal of the person he's supposed to be. He wants to be a "good person" but from the day he was born he was completely denied that ideal (aka "Dreams of who i want to be I'm seeing every empty page")

But there is a silver lining to all of this, the lyrics work with the moral of Levi's character. He doesn't need to run away from who he truly is, that what he considers an obstruction to his goal is simply just a part of himself he should accept. He doesn't need to "run away".

tip toes : Hu Jing

This song already just screams Hu purely from the line "I'm reaching for something more than this feeling of being important". She's a person who wants to protect others, be someone who others can rely on but in part it's very much driven by her own ego.

The lyrics are slightly vague but the parts about her "future" I feel like really gives vibes about how she used to be someone who had givne up on her own life but now is determined to persue it no matter what.

I didn't put this lyric in but "Take this ghost of me with the tide to die" again really feels like it references Hu's past and how she's ashamed of it. The song's lyrics give me a lot of feelings of regret but also determination which I think encapsulate Hu's character well.

Polygonal : Ace Markey

I've never seen people consider this one for Ace which is really surprising but also not because this song is very vague. Despite that, I do think this song 100 pourcent fits Ace purely because of some lines that really fit neatly with Ace's character.

The repeated mentions of how anyone would want to be loved/have someone to laugh with, it reminds me a lot of how Ace reacted to Levi saying he didn't care if he died. Ace desperately someone to give a shit about him, he'd rather take pity than nothing at all but he's also a self sabotager who drives anyone who gets close away from him.

"Your increasing honesty, I hate that about you" Honestly really feels like it's Ace saying that to Levi ? I wouldn't know fully how to explain it but it just really gives that vibe.

The song also seems to go on about a person's suffering about how their life is "full of failures" which again goes unfortunatly with Ace who seems to just have lived a pretty miserable life. Having only one person he could call a friend, being forced into an Ultimate Talent that both ruined his body and mental health .

Drawing Pins : Arturo Giles

Ok this one is probably the most farfetched pick, i'd say ? Considering, however, how little we know about Arturo I feel like this song has a lot of room to fit his characters and certain lines already do in multiple ways.

The parts about not being able to fit in, both makes me think of how he's kind of just, openly mocked within the group. However it also really makes me think about Arturo's family, him wanting to distance himself from them and his apparent disdain from them as well.

"Tell me what you did it for" "Cause I can't figure it out" I honestly think those parts really fit well with Arturo's sister committing suicide. He doesn't know why she did it something like that and he refuses to see it as his fault, it haunts him, he can't figure out why she did it because he can't fathom the idea that in reality it truly was because of him.

The "what do i have to do to be loved by you" parts I think are where things get a bit weird. My thought process would be Arturo's feelings towards "pretty people", him becoming obsessed with J because of her mother really makes me think that he's looking out for some kind of validation in a way.

Good grief : Eden Tobisa

I'm sorry this song is not fucking Whit, it's Eden, y'all can suck it /lh

This song really just fits way to well for me with Eden's feelings about Arei (weither she's the culprit or not even if I don't think she is anymore). The entire of the trial of chapter 2, Eden is struggling with the fact that she lost Arei and what could have been. This song really makes me think about how she tells David that she "knows she's dead and that she's never coming back". The slight upbeat-ness of the song really fits as well with Eden's attempt to try and stay cheerful despite how sad she feels.

I think Arei's death will be a very big sticking point in Eden's character.

Also the time motif with "Every minute and every hour" just fits way too good for it to be ignored.

In terms of other lyrics, I agree some of them fit Whit a bit but there are certain things that click way too well with Eden (and also none of the other songs fit Eden at all). I mean Eden's secret quote literally is "You can't go back no matter how hard you try" so clearly her character is heavily tied with grief as well.

"If you want to be a party animal, you have to learn to live in the jungle...." Really feels to me like Eden having to learn to be stronger and stop blaming herself ? It really just sounds like advice that would be given to someone like Eden who wants to be upbeat and confident but just simply is too prone to be insecure.

"Get drunk, call me a fool. Put me in my place" Again those lyrics really just feel like they fit Arei and Eden's relationship. Arei calling Eden a "fool" and "putting her in her place", it just ends up really matching perfectly in my opinion.

Mistaken Belief of Love : Whit Young

AHAH ! You have fallen into my trap of this post actually being secretly propaganda about how "Mistaken Belief of Love" really fits what's hinted about Whit's character so far !!!

Yeah, no, this song really does not make sense with anyone else other than Whit ? Both the lyrics and vibes do not match with anyone. The song's whole thing is about "love" and Whit's a fucking matchmaker, thematically it just fits like a puzzle piece. Not only that but Whit's whole thing (that actually hasn't rlly appeared in the series itself all that often) is that he seems to not be able to find love himself and is doomed to be single. It reinforces this idea that, yeah Whit's song would be about love in some way or another (I talk about love in general, this song is not a love song despite what you'd think)

It also works really well with Whit's secret quote being "We often idolize the dead" meaning Whit probably saw his mother as someone she wasn't. Perhaps she was abusive or neglectful, or she hid something from him that truly shows that she may not have cared about him at all.

There are also lines that just fit Whit really well like the "deception, boasting, saying "I openly laughed at it"", just really gives giant Whit vibes for me ? Same with the mention of "peekaboo" since we know Whit kinda holds on to childish things like that (his socks, the fact he uses fruity shampoo for kids).

Anyways, this was mostly for fun and also because I desperatly to make my own list because I had some Hot Takes Tm.

[ticktockheartstop]

I haven’t seen anyone point this out but, uh, there’s something(s) suspicious about “Muriel’s Perfectly Plucky Playlist.”

Yes, it’s a cute playlist of upbeat songs whose first lyrics perfectly spell out “Hello, hello, hello,” reminding us of our cheerful little angel from season 2. But let me first point out that “plucky” is not necessarily a perfectly happy word.

As anyone in the Good Omens fandom should know, Heaven is not a very happy place, and I think that’s why people love Muriel so much. They have managed to keep a very positive attitude amidst an oppressive regime in which they are VERY low on the totem pole. But it is really sad to have the fact that Muriel has had to be so determined and courageous in the face of difficulties blatantly pointed out, especially since it’s kinda easy to think of Muriel as a happy little child of an angel. Who would ever want to hurt them? (Michael and Uriel and the Metatron and everyone else in Heaven, apparently)

So, back to the playlist itself: we start out with very happy songs, which is all great and to be expected from Muriel. BUT THEN “Dog Days Are Over” by Florence + the Machine comes along, and…. Well…

With that meaning behind the song, you start to wonder if Muriel is really listening to the lyrics, or if they’re just jamming to the happy, upbeat rhythms and notes of the song. (Much like Neil said about the Almighty enjoying The Sound of Music for the nuns and singing and ignoring everything else)

Next on the playlist is Everyday by Buddy Holly, which we are all very familiar with at this point. The song itself is about waiting for love and the hope that love will persevere. With Gabriel and Beezlebub, love did persevere, so I can only hope that it will for Muriel someday as well. It’s just sad to think of our lonely little angel waiting to be loved.

Song number 8 is Another One Bites the Dust, which I think is the least traditionally happy and upbeat song on the playlist. Just take a closer look at the lyrics:

Not a happy song! And the lyrics that really stick out to me are: “how do you think I’m going to get along/without you when you’ve gone?/you took me for everything that I had/and kicked me or on my own” because that’s exactly what the Metatron and Heaven did to Muriel! I think our angel is harboring some serious bitterness!

This point is only farther supported by the next song, Demi Lovato’s cover of “Let It Go.” The fact that it is Demi’s version is significant, because there are some different lyrics than those heard on the Disney movie.

These lyric changes make the already rebellious, freeing song even more so. And we all know that the Good Omens team didn’t choose this version by mistake.

So, what have we learned? I think Muriel is going to see some serious character development, and become quite an important player in season 3. Either that or this is just further proof that all angels are traumatized (or both!)

[brokenwinebox]

What’s Your Character’s Theme Song?

A song breakdown for the characters of Jeremy Allen White, Lionel Boyce, Matty Matheson, and Ricky Staffieri. It will discuss the connections other people and I made for the characters Carmy, Marcus, Neil Fak, and Ted Fak.

↓ long text below

Jeremy Allen White

Jeremy Allen White, who ironically, is about to play Bruce Springsteen in the upcoming Bruce Springsteen film, said that Carmy’s theme song would be “The Ties That Bind.”

The expression 'the tie that binds' is used to describe a common idea or belief that links people together. It can also be used plurally as 'the ties that bind'. For example, you may say: ''We are family, held together by the ties that bind. Nothing will tear us apart. (x)

This is when it gets interesting. The Ties That Bind is an opening song for his fifth album called The River.

The songs on The River reveal a tension between the need for community and the need to be alone. "The Ties That Bind", along with "Two Hearts" and "Out in the Street", is one of the key songs on the album about the need for community. (x)

This feels so incredibly reminiscent on the struggles of Carmy. His driving force to fully isolate himself to those he cares about while probably also feeling like he needs the people he’s pushed away.

This also reminded me of @espumado’s post The Night Of The Hunter & The River which was then talked about by @currymanganese’s post on the potential parallels between two romantic relationships in the The Night Of The Hunter and The Bear.

There’s so many weird horror elements in the show. Which is interesting because in this picture we see a revised 2nd edition of The Exorcist! So how farfetched is it to see those elements on the show. Especially this season!

I mentioned before in my post, “Fourth Wall (being broken)” that the Save It For Later song could be about Carmy being lost and it became a reflection to the season. I can’t help but wonder if Save It For Later could have multiple meanings for each character.

@happylikeasadsong broke down some lyrics of the song and explains what it could do with Sydney’s decision.

Lionel Boyce

Lionel Boyce said Sèrgio Mendes, “Ides Of March.” for his character Marcus’ before realizing that’s probably not the name of the song. It was actually “Waters of March”

Sèrgio Mendes is most known for his song, Mas Que Nada, which translates to whatever and anyway. In this article I read, they call him a bossa nova king and Mendes explains how life is about magical encounters.

This is probably a funny coincidence but I actually know a song named Soul Bossa Nova by Quincy Jones. It was playing on a playlist that’s about songs you’d hear during magic shows. (x) (x) (x)

Although, Ides of March wasn’t the name of the song and I write metas for The Bear (AKA I’m insane), I did research on both to see what I can find!

Ides of March, day in the ancient Roman calendar that falls on March 15 and is associated with misfortune and doom. It became renowned as the date on which Roman dictator Julius Caesar was assassinated in 44 bce and was further immortalized in the tragedy Julius Caesar by English dramatist William Shakespeare.

On the topic of William Shakespeare, @currymanganese has a post on The Bear being a super deconstructed Shakespearean pastoral comedy.

It was then corrected to Waters of March. I tried to find the meaning for that particular song by Sérgio Mendes but it all lead to “Water Of March” by Antônio Carlos Jobim.

The inspiration for "Águas de março" came from Rio de Janeiro's rainiest month. March is typically marked by sudden storms with heavy rains and strong winds that cause flooding in many places around the city. The lyrics and the music have a constant downward progression much like the water torrent from those rains flowing in the gutters, which typically would carry sticks, stones, bits of glass, and almost everything and anything. Antonio Carlos Jobim wrote the song during a visit to his family rancho, in the interior of Rio de Janeiro state amid a steady rainstorm which had turned the roads and landscape to mud.

sticks and stones may break my bones, (but words can never hurt me) - said in order to show that people cannot be hurt by unpleasant things that are said to them (x)

When it comes to mud, I was immediately reminded of @whenmemorydies’s post on Claire being clear [as] mud. (Which I’ll go a bit more into depth in another post). I’m also fairly certain @ago0112 talked about it as well!

I talked about the topic of glass in my previous meta, The Glass Table & The Glass Fish Tank, where I found parallels to Claire and Donna. Those comparisons got a little confirmed in the script of (2.02).

I did some research on the scripts about Claire on (2.02) as well.

In the post, there was a bit of a deep dive on the potential meaning of glass/shattered glass and here’s one of them I found a connection to.

Connection between the fragility of glass and the human condition: Glass can be tough, but it becomes fragile when it faces too much pressure. Similarly, people can be strong, but life's challenges can make us feel a bit delicate. The broken glass helps us see that we all have both strength and vulnerability inside us, teaching us about the balance between being tough and sensitive in our own lives.

When it talked about how broken glass helps us see that we all have both strength and vulnerability inside us, teaching us about the balance between being tough and sensitive in our own lives, I was reminded of this particular thebearfx’s post:

After that, I recalled dialogue that I wrote about in my post on Richie being a fox and a caterpillar. In this scene, Natalie and Richie talk about the soul of the dining room in (3x07).

Richie: [scoffs] “Dining room sounds like shit.” Natalie: “Like, the acoustics?” Richie: “No. It’s like, the soul, you know? It’s like--Service sounds like total chaos.”  Natalie: “Every day can’t be perfect.” Richie: “Every day is like the Super Bowl. I could use a lightning bolt.” Natalie: “Can’t control the weather.”

In Waters of March, there’s a reference to a fox in a brush.

The oak when it blooms A fox in the brush A knot in the wood The song of a thrush (x)

What’s so fascinating about this particular rabbit hole is about what it all potentially means for Marcus as a character.

The song is about spring in Brazil as an allegory for life: how it continues on despite our best efforts to control it. It reminds us how with the ugly, comes the beautiful. (x)

The ugliness could be about death while the beauty of it is what the love he has for his mother could inspire for Marcus.

The plan of the house, the body in bed, the car that got stuck, it’s the mud, it’s the mud. a float, a drift, a flight, a wing, a hawk, a quail, the promise of spring.

He had become frustrated with the difficulties the rain was causing for the construction of a new boundary wall along his property line. The skies rained from above while chaos reigned below, as plainly stated in the lyrics: “It’s the mud, it’s the mud…” With plenty of time to contemplate the situation, Jobim created a modern parable for daily life. (x)

I’ll certainly talk about all of this in a separate post (whenever that will be) but there’s so many small details that evolve into a beautiful narrative.

The Coca-Cola Jingle

Coca-Cola tapped Antonio Carlos Jobim for the rights to his ‘Águas de Março’, giving new lyrics to ‘The Waters of March’ to make the jingle a worldwide sensation. Jobim even became a celebrity spokesman for Coke in a relationship that lasted for several years. (x)

Coca Cola is one of the most popular soft drinks in the world. In doing my research, I found an article talking about how design elements of the soft drink’s logo clearly portray the idea of energy, fun, and good times.

The recent 2021 hug version logo of the brand was termed as “magical” and “genius” by designers. It ended up being introduced with a new tagline as “real magic.” Apparently, it’s considered magical because you can imagine the bottle even when it is not there.

There’s even a well-known story about the white and red logo being inspired by the brand’s first advertisement that featured Santa Claus wearing his red and white suit with a bottle in his hands. (x)

@vacationship made an analysis on the green and red sauce and the potential importance of its symbolism.

Sydney and Claire have an interesting parallel with coke. I actually found that little connection earlier but didn’t know it had any relevance to this until now.

(Sydney pouring/drinking coke after the scene of the group being at Marcus’ mother’s funeral isn’t a coincidence.)

Matty Matheson

Matty Matheson chose Hakuna Matata for his character Neil Fak. The Bear’s instagram account also talked about how he is a master mocktail maker.

Hakuna matata roughly translates to “there are no troubles” in Swahili. The phrase was popularized in English by the 1994 Disney movie The Lion King, where it's translated as “no worries.” It has a connotation of not worrying about things outside a person's control. The movie popularized the phrase internationally, making it a cultural staple and synonymous with Disney's family-friendly brand.

'Hakuna matata' is Swahili for 'no worries'. As such, it is the perfect catchphrase for Timon and Pumbaa, as it perfectly reflects their relaxed, devil-may-care attitude to life. (x)

@outmakingmoonshine has discussed the possibility that the Faks are the inner voice/imaginary friends for the protagonist (Carmy).

Are they suggesting Pumbaa, Timon, and Simba are Neil Fak, Ted Fak, and Carmy?

The Lion King was released on June 15, 1994, receiving critical acclaim for its music, story, themes, and animation. With an initial worldwide gross of $763 million, it finished its theatrical run as the highest-grossing film of 1994 and the second-highest-grossing film of all time, behind Jurassic Park (1993).

Timon: Hey, where you going? Simba: Nowhere. Timon: Gee. He looks blue. Pumbaa: I'd say brownish-gold. Timon: No, no, no, no. I mean he's depressed. Pumbaa: Oh. Pumbaa: Kid, what's eatin' ya? Simba: Who cares? I can't go back. Timon: Ahh. You're an outcast! That's great; so are we! Pumbaa: What cha do, kid? Simba: Something terrible. But I don't wanna talk about it. Timon: Good. We don't wanna hear about it. Pumbaa: Come on Timon. Anything we can do? Simba: Not unless you can change the past.

Simba: Hakuna matata? Pumbaa: Yeah. It’s our motto! Simba: What’s a motto? Timon: Nothin’ what’s a motto with you?! (laughs) Pumbaa: Hakuna matata: These two words will solve all your problems. (x) (x) (x)

Carmy could have a side of him that feels outcasted by the rest of the group (there was also a group chat he had no idea about) so he conjured up another set of outcasts that promote a motto and philosophy to solve all of his problems.

Neil Fak is the naive/childlike aspects of himself that I suspect Carmy got from his childhood with his mother. I can’t help but wonder if the Faks representing Carmy’s inner voice was only applied to the dumpster scene when I found dialogue about how nice it is in the office before Carmy called Sydney nice after checking her out. Does it only apply when they’re all alone together?

As with many characters in The Lion King, Pumbaa's name derives from the East African language Swahili. In Swahili, pumbaa (v.) means "to be foolish, silly, weakminded, careless, negligent."

Richie and Carmy calls Neil Fak a bitch in (3x02)

Neil Fak: “Nat, the vibe’s weird.”

Carmy: “You’re such a fucking bitch.”

Richie: “You’re such a bitch.”

Natalie: “I know, sweetheart. Don’t be scared.”

Most of these could probably best describe Neil Fak (and even Carmy perhaps) but I wonder about the negligence of his character. Is this about the lack of real tools of his? Another detail that I’m not sure connects here is that Neil Fak mentioned being afraid of boxes to Ted Fak.

Warthogs regularly come into contact with villages and people. When this happens, they usually cause havoc, scampering through a garden or village and making a mess of everything. There is one Pumbaa adjective that is correct. They can be lazy. Rather than digging their own burrows, they will often just use the burrowed home of other animals. (x)

I remember this dialogue vividly, but there was a scene where the Faks asked Donna if they could stay over her house during Christmas.

Neil Fak: “Do you think that we can sleepover—” Donna: “There’s no sleepovers at Christmas. What the fuck?” Neil Fak: “No, we can sleepover.” Donna: “No, you can’t sleepover on Christmas. No. Mm-mmm.” Neil Fak: “No? No. Big Neil got us skateboards.” Donna: “You know what? Shut up. Michael!” Neil Fak: “Michael hid ‘em.” Donna: “Hey, Michael. Get in here. Mike? The Faks are asking me stupid things—”

(The fact that there’s a Hakuna Matata reference after Hulu is bought by Disney is also not lost on me.)

Timon is a historical Greek name, taken to mean "he who respects." Timon's name may derive from Shakespeare's tragedy Timon of Athens, another Shakespeare reference in a film which derives its plot from Hamlet. The tragedy is based in the history of the real Timon of Athens, a famous misanthrope during the era of the Peloponnesian War, who refused life in Athens to live isolated. Another explanation is that he is named after the Greek philosopher Timon, a disciple of Pyrrho, the founder of the school of skepticism. (x) (x) (x)

I happened to stumble upon another Shakespeare reference. If Timon is meant to be Ted Fak then this is going to be a bit ironic because of what Ted Fak’s theme song is!

Ricky Staffieri

Ricky Staffieri chose Back Then by Mike Jones for the theme song of his character, Ted Fak. Ironically, this song is vulgar in nature with calling woman “hoes” and all.

In the same meta I mentioned earlier, @outmakingmoonshine talked about Ted being sex driven and maybe representative of Carmy’s primal mind.

We also have @thoughtfulchaos773 having a post on the inappropriate double entendre jokes on the show.

I never really listened to the lyrics until about two months ago, but now that I have, they’re pretty amazing. On the surface, it’s a vulgar song about “hoes,” but on a deeper, more philosophical level, it’s an anthem about self-confidence. The overall message in Jones’ song is that the ladies in his life were never really gave him the time of day until he started to make it big. When you really listen to the message of the words – and not necessarily the words themselves – a lot of it is just him spewing the harsh truth. I think it speaks to all of the ugly ducklings out there, or the really shy people who never put themselves out there until they found themselves later on in life. That cute girl in middle school or high school who is now a bombshell? Yeah, she remembers how you treated her. (x)

Claire always told Carmy about their past history when they were young but Carmy seemed to have no recollection of it.

After reading this analysis on its philosophical meaning, I couldn’t help but wonder what it all meant pertaining to Ted Fak. Do we really know anything about Ted Fak’s history in high school besides Carmy? I just got a sudden wave of theories that this is referring to Carmy.

For Ted Fak, maybe this is about being treated poorly in high school. Now, he ended up working for a popular food establishment with very sudden attention from woman which had never happened before.

For Carmy, Ted Fak could be the more anxiety/primitive ridden version of him.

The reason I talk about the anxiety aspect is because some people have the personal experience of saying things they don’t mean when they have anxiety. Ted Fak could be representing the brutal ‘truths’ that Carmy could or don’t really mean.

Anxiety activates people’s fight or flight instinct When someone has an anxiety disorder, they'll often feel intense fear towards possible threats and dangers. For someone with a social anxiety disorder, this could be crowds or social events, whereas for someone with generalised anxiety disorder (GAD), their fear could be focused on a broad range of potential scenarios, such as losing their job, damaging their friendships or getting into accidents. These thoughts cause people to experience symptoms of anxiety such as an increased heartbeat, shortness of breath and nausea. This is because thinking about the possible dangers activates their fight or flight instinct. Irritability is a symptom of anxiety When a person is experiencing anxiety, they'll often be more irritable than usual. This is a common symptom of many types of anxiety disorder. (x)

The increased heartbeat caught my attention because Claire noticed his heart was beating fast in a scene before it cuts to Carmy looking at a clock in (3x04).

The other part of the song I absolutely love is: “I ain’t got no time to call her. I’ma stall her like she stalled me, now she trying to call me; (girl) I’ma dog your whole ass like you dogged me.”

I can’t lie. I laughed so hard when I saw this lyric. Like damn, I wonder who exactly this could refer to here? It could be about Kelly but I’ll have to do more digging to figure that out.

I can’t speak for everyone in the world, but I know that I have an elephant-like memory when it comes to people how people treat me – whether it was in middle school, high school, college, or recently. I’m a firm believer in that unless someone gives you a reason to treat them like dirt, you shouldn’t. I know that I don’t pay any mind to people – not just girls – who treated me like crap and are now trying to make like everything is OK. Respect is earned, not given with me; I believe people can change (to a degree), but it will take time for someone to earn my trust and respect, if violated.

This is when we get the depiction of respect and how it’s earned, not given. Does Carmy respect Claire and vise versa?

I didn’t really get the vibe that Claire was a mean person or a bully with the way she spoke about her and Carmy’s history. But what if she scrubbed the ugly parts of it?

It’s making me ponder whether Carmy felt bitter that Claire suddenly had this interest in him because he’s well known as a chef now. It’s even more bizarre because they were both in New York. Mikey told her about Carmy’s chef adventures by the time of Christmas. Why didn’t Claire reach out to him then? Did it really take Mikey passing away for her to make a move?

There was discussion between @devisrina, @thoughtfulchaos773, and I about this. This is when I had the thought that Claire might’ve started talking to Carmy to humor herself and her friends because Carmy was the loner in high school. It was after the scripts came out and we discovered Claire was originally supposed to be blonde like Carmy’s mother. There’s so many questions on whether Claire and Carmy really had a crush on each other.

The Phone Number

I’m at the early stages of what I hope will be a very successful sports reporting career, so some people have reached out for various reasons (advice, recommendation, etc.). I’m happy to try and help the people who treated me well, but I almost want to laugh at the people who treated me like dirt and are now asking for a favor, however small. Mike Jones may use more colorful language than I would have had I wrote this song, but its underlying message is essentially the Golden Rule laced with profanity: Treat others the way you would want to be treated.

Something that I thought was interesting, was that Mike Jones rapped his phone number into the song. The most obvious parallel to this is that Carmy (purposely?) gave her the wrong number when they reunited by the grocery store fridges.

They see that I'm a star, now they wanna sit in my car Now they wanna count my cheese, smoke my weed and sip my barre now They used to love to me diss me, now they rush to hug and kiss me now They tellin' all they friends when I leave how they miss me now (281) 000-000 Hit Mike Jones up on the low cause Mike Jones about to blow Befo' the ice was in my grill, before I got my major deal These hoes wouldn't give a damn if I was ill, geah (x)

Apparently, ice on grills is a thing in the cooking industry. Graham Elliott revealed in an interview that his trick for making better burgers is pressing an ice cube into the middle of the patty before grilling.

“And if you're worried about the ice cubes making your burgers cold or wet — don't! The ice melts pretty quickly so no one will even know they were there.” <- This just felt reminiscent to my theory on Claire being an illusion. (x) (x)

Chef Graham Elliot Remembers Charlie Trotter “Famed Chicago chef Charlie Trotter died on Tuesday at age 54. Graham Elliot joined Charlie Trotter’s at age 21, and worked in his kitchens for three years.”

It seems important to note that Graham Elliot had three years of experience with Charlie Trotter.

Chef, mentor, trailblazer, philosopher, artist, teacher, leader. These are the words that immediately come to mind when I think of Charlie Trotter, or CHT, as he was referred to by the team. Rarely does one encounter an individual that can both inspire and frighten you with his (almost perverse) dedication to excellence and perfection. I learned his philosophic approach to cooking, and that everything was of equal importance. That you had to be your own toughest critic. That we weren’t in the “food industry” but in the “make it happen” business. To this very day, I try to foster the same ideals in my team: That the food you put on the plate, the way you keep your knives sharp, the way you wipe down your station—all of those represent who you are as a person. (x)

@moodyeucalyptus recently tagged me in their post discussing the documentary about Charlie Trotter and the similarities with Carmy’s asshole boss. I don’t think it’s a coincidence I found this connection.

We know that Carmy was buying very expensive food ingredients/supplies and helped Claire’s mother with moving boxes. (Not to mention, he was literally moving boxes with Claire like he was doing with the Faks.)

As @outmakingmoonshine pointed out, Carmy had a problem with Richie calling Sydney sweetheart in the very first episode but didn’t really seem to care about Claire being called a piece of ass by Ted Fak. The only thing he did was clarify what he meant and that was it.

Is it possible he didn’t really flinch because these were his thoughts about her for a while and has been trying to navigate through his true feelings for her?

What really caught my eye was the smoke my weed part. Funnily enough, in season three, we see Claire and Carmy share a cigarette.

Claire: “Can you just not make this weird? Like, I need a favor. My cousin bailed on me.”

Did he feel a certain way after doing that favor for her? Which would explain why he asked her for a favor too and struggled to explain why he gave her a fake number. Carmy mentioned how he liked her alot at the party. Did he think it wasn’t anything more than what it was, exchanging favors?

Claire: “You know he, uh he told me you guys are really close and he’s your best friend.” Carmy: “Fak said that?” Claire: “Mhm.” Carmy: “No no no. Fak’s not my best friend.” Claire: “Really?” Carmy: “No no he is. He’s probably my best friend.” Claire: “That’s interesting. To sit with. For you.”

I thought Claire saying this was very strange because I couldn’t grasp whether she was saying a lighthearted joke or making fun of him.

Considering the new information thebearfx had given, did Carmy sense that? Especially when Jones talked about how they wouldn’t care if he was ill. It felt so reminiscent to Claire leaving Carmy in the fridge after he said things that were more concerning rather than hurtful.

Maybe Carmy didn’t realize the type of relationship it was until it was too late.

Thank you so much for reading!! This seems so convoluted. I made a good majority of this on August 7th. Feel free to call me insane for this rabbit hole (I’m well aware of how insane I look). There’s alot of information that I just discovered recently besides this meta but I don’t even know how to put it in the proper words. So, bear with me for a bit lmao. Fair warning, the topic of animals, gardens, plants, water, glass, and cigarettes might come back in a good majority of my metas for now. Hopefully I’ll be able to properly explain why later lol.

(c) brokenwinebox

[kultklassickiller]

Prada You Chapter 11

Summary:

In the summer of 1998, sparks fly between Nyeya and Jey.

Nyeya is an 18-year-old around the way girl. Jey is older, paid, and fine. He is also the leader of the infamous Prada Bois alongside his twin brother Jimmy.  The two have chemistry. However, Nyeya has plans outside of her attraction. With a birthday around the corner and dreams of living a good life, Nyeya sets her sights on enjoying the perks of Jey's money and hood celebrity.

But baby girl has no clue what it takes to really be down. Nyeya is about to learn some hard life lessons at the expense of her 'Prada' priced dreams.

Pairing: Jey Uso x Nyeya (Nye) Green (OC)

Author’s Note: This story is happening in an alternative universe. It features the current and original Bloodline members along with other WWE stars. So, the characters are themselves, but some things are switched around for the stories sake. This was originally written with all original characters, but I think it could work better this way. Hope you guys enjoy it and I actually finish it...

Warning: Please be advised that this chapter contains foul/harsh language.

Disclaimer: This work of art is fictional in nature including the original characters created by me. I do not own any of the existing characters or lyrics from songs referenced in this story. All rights belong to their respective owners with the exception of my original characters. This work is purely for entertainment purposes and is not intended to cause harm.

Want to reading from the beginning? Click Here

Chapter 11: Reality

“Girl, he really said he’d pay for the whole party?” Kiyah asked, her eyes wide as she flopped onto my bed.

I nodded, pulling a few things out of the shopping bags sprawled across my room. “Yeah, he said it’s whatever I want. Venue, DJ, food—all of it. He’s got it.”

I had invited the girls over so we could catch up. My ass had been up under Jey, and they felt I had been neglecting them. So, I had to do what’s right.

The twins, Natasha and Nataya, exchanged excited glances before practically squealing.

“Oh, it’s about to be a movie,” Nataya grinned. “What’s the theme? You gotta have a theme. Like, remember Macy, she did that whole glitter and denim theme for her 18th birthday. It was cute.”

“Yea, it was. But like she wasn’t. She could barely walk in the heels and her ankles was ashy the whole night,” Kiyah reminded.

“Kiyah, please,” Natasha cackled. Nataya and I just looked away, shaking our heads. She just said any damn thing.

“I’m just keeping it real since y’all heifers won’t,” Kiyah shrugged.

I shrugged as well, holding up the Coach purse Jey bought me at the mall. The light caught the gold clasp, making it sparkle. “I don’t know. Something cute but not corny. I’m open to ideas. I know y’all can help me out.”

“Boo, you’re officially living the life,” Natasha said, leaning over to admire the purse. “And don’t even get me started on this bag. I saw this in one of those magazine’s Taya got at home. Jey’s really stepping up, I see.”

“He better after all that shit he did,” Kiyah chimed in, crunching on her chips. “If he’s paying for this party, it needs to be the talk of the summer. I’m talking custom invitations, a banging playlist, and outfits for all of us that shut all that shit down.”

“Okay, okay,” I laughed, kicking my feet up on the edge of my bed. “Let Kiyah tell it he gotta buy her mama an outfit too. But I’m with y’all. We gotta make it one for the books though.”

For the next few hours, we sprawled out on my floor, flipping through magazines and brainstorming ideas for the party. Kiyah had a million suggestions, most involving sequins and neon lights, and the twins were quick to second every one of them. By the time they left, I was already imagining how the night would go—the music, the lights, and me front and center, living my best life.

----

After the sun had gone down, I gathered up the weekly laundry and headed to the laundromat across the way. Mama usually did it, but I always felt the need to ease her burden when I could. There was a nice breeze as I crossed the courtyard, and I felt lighter than I had in weeks. Things were finally coming together. Jey was stepping up, and my birthday was shaping up to be unforgettable.

At the laundromat, I loaded up the machines and sat down with a magazine while they ran. The hum of the dryers and the chatter of the other patrons made it easy to zone out. I smiled to myself, still floating on air from the past few days.

When I got back to my apartment, my mood took a sharp turn. Jey was sitting on my steps, his arms crossed and his face dark. My stomach sank.

“You not answering your phone now?” he snapped as I walked up.

I froze, gripping the handle of the wagon carrying the laundry. “Baby, what you talking about?”

“Don’t play dumb with me, Nyeya. I called you. Several times,” he said, standing up. “And on top of that, you out here running your mouth with Damian? At the damn corner store? When your ass was supposed to get out the car and take your ass in the house.”

My heart skipped a beat. “Hold up. First of all, the phone is in the house. And for two you mad because I had a conversation? Are you serious right now?”

Jey stepped closer, his voice low but sharp. “You think I’m fucking stupid? The phone upstairs, huh? Why you think I bought that shit for you in the first place? So, you can always have it on you. Yet, where is it?”

I crossed my arms over my chest, truly confused by his attitude. Yea, I had forgot the phone, but it had only been one night. I wasn’t use to having no damn cellphone.

“I-

“Dead that. What the hell was you talking about with Damian? What you and my uce got to talk about. Tell me, Nyeya?”

Jey was turning red at this point but I ain’t even care ‘cause who was he talking to. Apparently I needed to remind him yet again who the fuck I was and was not.

“Take that bass out your voice when you talking to me. I’m not no Prada Boi who you can bark at when you feel like it. And nothing Damian and I got going on is none of your concern. And if you want that damn phone back, I can give it back to you,” I shot back, trying to step past him. But he grabbed my arm, stopping me in my tracks.

“Don’t you ever walk away from me,” he warned, his grip firm but not painful.

“Let me go, Jey,” I said, yanking my arm free. “You’re doing too much right now.”

His laugh was bitter. “I’m doing too much? You the one out here making me look stupid, not answering the phone when I call, running around with Damian like you don't belong to me. You wanna see me act a fool, Nyeya? I will.”

The fight escalated, our voices growing louder with every exchange. Neighbors peeked out of their windows and doors, but no one stepped in. This was Jey’s territory, and everyone knew better than to get involved.

“You know what, Jey? Act a fool. Do what you gon’ do. And I’m gon’ outdo you. But that’s what you asking for,” I finally said, my voice shaking with frustration. “I’m out here trying to make things work with your crazy ass. And here you go with the drama and the bullshit. If this is what’s it’s gon’ be every other day then I’d rather be myself.”

His eyes narrowed, but he didn’t say anything. He just stared at me, his jaw clenched. The silence was louder than any argument we could’ve had. Finally, he stepped back, letting me pass.

“Ain’t no way out, Nyeya,” he said quietly. “Ain’t no leaving me.”

I didn’t respond. I just climbed the steps with the wagon in tow, unlocked the door, and shut it behind me. My hands were shaking, and my chest felt tight. For all the good things Jey brought into my life, moments like this made me question if any of it was worth the trouble.

[mrradmccoolman]

hello everynyan!! it's baby's second (?) tumblr post. i present to you:

ELLIOTT'S ANDERPERRY SONG ANALYSIS

okay, so, here's the gist of it: i have an ever-growing playlist on spotify of songs i feel fit neil, todd, or their relationship as a whole. each song is not only one i like, but also has lyrics that represent something specific about them. this sort of thing is something ive done for multiple characters for a long time, and ive always had carefully curated reasons behind my choices. i just recently got back into the dps fandom, and thought this would be a good way to not only show how i see the characters, but also become a part of the community on Tumblr myself :)

i will not be doing every song simply because i do not have the time and the playlist is way too long for that, but i'll definitely be choosing some favorites. i'll most likely just post whenever i feel like it, so i can't promise any sort of a timeline. this is just a little project i thought would be fun, especially considering the fics im working on take me ages lol 😅

sooo without further ado: song number one is....

Habanero by Rosie Tucker

i've been listening to a lot of rosie tucker's music lately, and this song really stood out to me as a todd/neil song from neil's perspective. one of the reasons i connect so much to neil as a character is because i see myself in him, and subsequently how he handles what i see as a very real depressive disorder throughout the movie. this song makes me think of his feelings and relationship with todd in canon, how he sees himself and todd, and the bittersweet-ness of loving someone in the "wrong" way.

"...you said "this never happens to me, this never happens" but you smile while you suffer so you're lying or wrong" this lyric encapsulates a big part of neil's perception of todd, especially towards the beginning of the movie. it specifically reminds me of the "what do you mean no?" scene and the argument they have leading up to it. it also alludes to todd's poem scene in front of the class and neil's reaction to it. he sees todd as saying this sort of bewildered, in awe, "this never happens to me," because, well, for todd, that's how it feels. he doesn't speak in front of people, he doesn't share parts of himself like that. i actually believe he didn't even really write poetry on his own before keating's class, either, so even writing at all is a big step for him- never mind showing others. we know todd hates public speaking and being perceived (although it's a lot more complicated than that, but i won't get into it here) so he "smiles while (he) suffers" because even though this is something he hates and feels so much shame about, a part of him is amazed and happy he did it at all. thus the "you're lying or wrong" from neil- i see this as neil recognizing that actually, knowing todd, this isn't the first time he's done something like this like he might think. in truth, todd says and does beautiful things like this all the time. though todd sees himself as dull and embarassing, neil sees the truth. we often think of neil as recognizing todd as a diamond in the rough, but people are more complicated than that. really, todd has always had this beauty inside him- this is just the first time he (and everyone else) has gotten the opportunity to really see it. neil feels vindicated in a sense, because he knew it was there.

"i'm never happy, but i've never been better" i feel this lyric is pretty straightforward when it comes to neil. he has depression, which makes it so so hard to feel happy, even when you think you should- and most of the time, neil doesn't even have those moments. todd isn't some cure-all for his problems, and certainly doesn't make his depression go away, but he's a huge aid to neil. he's the one person who really sees him. even if neil still isn't happy in the traditional way, he still feels better around todd. another thing i could get into buttt this post is already gonna be long enough as is lol.

"i need to see you sweat" i feel this one is also pretty self explanatory. it's sexuality and desire, something neil has likely not felt to this level before. especially when you're depressed, it's hard to feel any sort of desire. i feel that any thoughts neil would have would already be pretty vague because of his internalized homophobia, but this would be similar to the way he would allow himself to verbalize his feelings. there are a lot of great fics out there that i feel really encapsulate this well.

"wouldn't we be perfect together if we wanted exactly the same thing?" i would argue that the majority of the fandom kind of accepts neil's feelings for todd as pretty obviously requited, even though interestingly enough, from an outside perspective i would actually argue neil's feelings are the most obviously canon. not that i don't definitely believe todd feels the same, nor do i think this is a bad thing- it's just that the entire movie revolves around identity, and neil's passion for acting serves as a metaphor for queerness pretty obviously, and beyond that acting is associated with queer identity as a whole, another reason behind mr. perry's aversion to it. neil doesn't know if todd feels the same as he does. even if things may seem obvious to us, this isn't "normal" for the time period and so i believe wholeheartedly that neil didn't know todd had any feelings for him. was this more his own self hatred, him protecting himself, or that anything he saw that may have alluded to reciprocation he convinced himself was his own mind playing tricks on him? probably a mixture of all three.

"but i smile while i suffer like a sucker supreme" even though neil knows this won't end well, that his feelings are "wrong" and this is hurting him in the long run, he can't help himself when it comes to todd. he's a sucker for him and the feelings he gets being around him.

"all at once i'm a child trapping tadpoles in a cup, and i know they'll never make it (...) but i smile while they suffer 'cause i want it so much" neil knows being in the play, being with todd, and defying his father is a losing game. he knows, on a distant level, that he'll never get away with it. maybe during the play he finally, for one gorgeous moment, truly believed things would change- but then his father shows up and proves he was right all along. he knows he's doomed, that todd was right to doubt his plan to lie to his father in the first place, but he wants it so badly he doesn't care (or, more than that, he feels so incredibly trapped that he's given up and has resigned himself to the consequences). not only this, but his depression has made his latching onto the one thing that gives him hope even more intense. to be ripped away from this, the only thing he's ever wanted- the only person he's ever wanted- is the end. he knows that. even so, even though he can see the futility of it all crumbling beneath him, he sees the fall through.

"i can't believe i'll die before becoming a frog" there's a sort of disbelief in his resignation to death in his final moments, a darkly humorous "i can't believe it's come to this, that this is really happening" despite not really being surprised. neil is cutting everything short and throwing away his potential before his father gets the chance to do it for him. he'll never "become a frog" in so many ways- never get to live for himself, never get to become an adult, never get to act again, etc.

well...that was very long! if you've made it to the end of this post, i hope this was as fun for you as it was for me :)) i'll definitely be doing more of these as time goes on!! let me know your thoughts!!

(the playlist: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3Fh97W8EItmoJHjQvjsBl4?si=WoH7J5GHTfmt3v7OuqbHnQ&pi=6x2g03n8Q1Knc )

| next ->

[gamerwoo]

hansol/mingyu: the lovers playlist

characters: mingyu x female reader

genre/warnings: idol au, friends to strangers, angst (esp on mingyu's half)

word count: 745

summary: i could be your dream girl; your whole world; if you let me; you've got me so downhearted

a/n: things in bold italics are song lyrics. also i know it was voted for the yes ending first but we know i love to draw out angst :)

previous song | back to playlist

Your room had gotten dirtier than you'd like, it and it was beginning to give you anxiety. That only meant one thing: using your day off to clean. You had put on the radio of some calming indie-sounding song that you liked, and you wanted to listen to more songs that sounded like it, and then you got to cleaning. Throwing clothes that had piled on your desk into the hamper after throwing clothes in the overfilled hamper into the wash. Trucking dishes out into the kitchen, trying to ignore the jabs from your bandmates for how messy you were -- Mars and Soey were ones to talk but you weren't going to get into that argument again over who the messiest members were.

As you were humming along with a song you hadn't heard before that had a beat you found catchy, knelt on the area rug under your bed while you sorted out trash that had been kicked beneath there, you suddenly froze with wrappers in your hand as you heard a familiar guitar strum, followed by a soft beat.

Immediately, Mingyu flashed into your thoughts. A quick slideshow of your friendship played as the lyrics kicked in, and you stared into space as memories that weren't even that long ago had unlocked.

You had said you'd stay friends when you let Mingyu down as gently as you could. You meant it at the time, too. The two of you had become inseparable during your strange friendship. And yet...

They say the heart grows fonder with every step you take; but as you move away from me; I feel my body break.

Even thought all Mingyu wanted was for you to be happy, it didn't mean the rejection didn't hurt any less. Despite that, he continued to be your friend. The two of you went out to lunch a few days after you told him you didn't feel the same, but there was an awkwardness to the atmosphere that didn't dissipate. After that, plans were getting rain checked, and texts were gradually coming later and later until the chat had been silent for so long that it was automatically deleted from your phone to create space.

Truth be told, you were doing great now. You were thriving, actually. You'd never been happier. You worked on yourself and now you were in the best headspace you'd been in, in maybe your whole life. You felt a little guilty when you first realized you hadn't heard from Mingyu in a while and hadn't realized, but you also hadn't made any move to reach out since it had been so long and you didn't want it to be awkward. After that, you didn't really give it a second thought.

But as you sat there for a moment and thought of Mingyu for the first time in a long time, you wondered if he was over you. Did he stop thinking about you like you did him and his group as a whole?

Where are you going? Where have you been today?

He didn't. He never did. Everything reminded him of you. It was small, fleeting thoughts of '_____ would like this' or 'Jun said that exactly how _____ would'. Sometimes, he would see something about you or your group -- a comeback or an ad or something of the like -- and he would sit for a minute and wonder how you were. He thought you were glowing more than you were when he last saw you. He could tell you were doing better, even if it was without him.

Will you be back tomorrow? Will you be back to me someday?

You didn't know that he would hope maybe you were the right person and it was just the wrong time. He held onto hope that maybe your groups would run into each other on a music show, or you'd be scheduled for the same variety show as him. But thus far, the stars hadn't aligned for him. Truthfully, there was a small pang of hurt in his heart when he told himself he might just be delusional, and that there would be someone else out there who was truly his soulmate.

You've got me so downhearted.

He thought time would heal him and he'd get over you. He'd find someone else by now. But instead, when he laid in bed alone at night, he was still hung up on the one who got away.

You've got me so downhearted.

── « ⋅ʚ ♫ ɞ⋅ » ───

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[echoesofriver]

Is it still cool to make character inspired playlists? I don't care either way. Have some songs that remind me of the trash king himself. Specific lyrics under the cut. I listen to a lot of Halsey and MARINA, sue me

listen on Youtube

listen on Spotify (minus Lessons because it's not on Spotify)

you should see me in a crown Billie Ellish 

You should see me in a crown; Your silence is my favorite sound; Watch me make 'em bow; One by one by one

Everybody Loves Me OneRepublic 

Head down; Swingin' to my own sound; Flashes in my face now; All I know is everybody loves me

Teenagers My Chemical Romance 

They said, "All teenagers scare the livin' shit out of me"; They could care less as long as someone'll bleed; So darken your clothes, or strike a violent pose; Maybe they'll leave you alone, but not me

Absinthe iDKHOW 

I don't believe whatever this is; Until you burn all of the witches; I won't believe whatever this is; Whatever they give you, stop drinking it down

Choke iDKHOW 

Now shut your dirty mouth; If I could burn this town; I wouldn't hesitate; To smile while you suffocate and die

Are You Satisfied? MARINA 

Are you satisfied with an average life?; Do I need to lie to make my way in life?

Ain’t No Rest For The Wicked Cage The Elephant

I know I can't slow down; I can't hold back; Though you know; I wish I could; Oh, no there ain't no rest for the wicked; Until we close our eyes for good

Do It All The TIme iDKHOW 

No reason why; I'm only doing anything I want to do; Because I do it all the time

Bittersweet Panic! At the Disco

Everything I do is bittersweet; You could tell me secrets that I'll probably repeat; I'm not trying to hurt you, I just love to speak

My Kink is Karma Chappell Roan

People say I'm jealous, but my kink is watching; You crashing your car; You breaking your heart; You thinking I care; People say I'm jealous, but my kink is karma

Oh No! MARINA 

One track mind, one track heart; If I fail, I'll fall apart; Maybe it is all a test; 'Cause, I feel like I'm the worst; So I always act like I'm the best

Lilith Halsey

You got me thinking that I was too mean; Well, everything that I say I believe; Tuck a knife with my heart up my sleeve

High On Humans Oh Wonder

Animate the air with a stone cold question; Do you have the time? Do you hate your life?; Now I'm locking eyes with a silent stranger; Don't run, don't hide

Ego Halsey 

I think that I should try to kill my ego; 'Cause if I don't, my ego might kill me; I'm all grown up, but somehow lately; I'm acting like a fucking baby; I'm really not as happy as I seem

Fake Happy Paramore

I love making you believe; What you get is what you see

The Kids Aren’t Alright Fall Out Boy 

Bad trip I couldn't get off; And maybe I bit off more than I could chew

Gasoline Halsey 

With your face all made up, living on a screen; Low on self-esteem, so you run on gasoline

Control Halsey 

I paced around for hours on empty; I jumped at the slightest of sounds; And I couldn't stand the person inside me; I turned all the mirrors around

Valley Of The Dolls MARINA 

Born with a void, hard to destroy; With love or hope; Built with a heart, broken from the start; And now, I die slow

Blame all your life on me

Blame Me The Pretty Reckless 

Outrunning Karma Alec Benjamin 

He's never gonna make it, all the; Poor people he's forsaken, karma; Is always gonna chase him for his lies

Fear and Loathing MARINA 

I've lived a lot of different lives; Been different people many times; I live my life in bitterness; And fill my heart with emptiness

Lessons Halsey 

I'm alive, that's a plus; But it's getting heavy, better lighten up; I'm a liar, I'm a lush; I don't think I'm ready to let go of the rush

Numb MARINA 

I feel numb most of the time; Lower I get the higher; I'll climb, and I will wonder why

Black Sheep (Brie Larson Vocal Version) Metric 

Now that the truth is just a rule that you can bend; You crack the whip, shape-shift and trick the past again

Ain’t It Fun Paramore

Where you're from; You might be the one who's running things; Where you can ring anybody's bell and get what you want

You’re Gonna Go Far, Kid The Offspring 

Show me how to lie, you're getting better all the time; And turning all against the one is an art that's hard to teach; Another clever word sets off an unsuspecting herd; And as you step back into line, a mob jumps to their feet

Don’t Threaten Me With A Good Time Panic! At The Disco 

The Outsider MARINA 

This night is heating up; Raise hell and turn it up; Saying "If you go on, you might pass out in a drain pipe"; Oh, yeah, don't threaten me with a good time

Don't get on my bad side; I can work a gun; Hop into the backseat baby; I'll show you some fun

I am not a woman, I’m a god Halsey 

I am not a woman, I'm a God; I am not a martyr, I'm a problem; I am not a legend, I'm a fraud; So keep your heart, 'cause I already got one

[pennyplainknits]

More Joy Day: some vids I love

I meant to do something more substantial for More Joy Day, I even recorded a podfic, but I was really unhappy with it. I didn't want to let the day go without marking it, so below are some vids that bring me joy. I hope they bring you joy too, and that you'll spread that by leaving a comment for the vidders as well! Where I have it I've added a link to tumblr or AO3 to make that easy

Freedom Ride by Sally Sparrow

This is such a gleefully fun look at how everyone wants a piece of Steve Rogers, set to a song that can't help but make you want to dance. Also a lovely reminder of the fun and possibilities of pre-Endgame Marvel tbh.

A Better Son by Neery

There's just something wonderful about how this song works for S1 Stede, it remains one of my favourite character studies of him, capturing his dramatic nature, his grit-your-teeth-and-smile approach to the world.

Bethlehem Steel by AurumCalendula

Speaking of character studies this is study, lament, epitaph. Dean Winchester, in all his skills, contradictions, and trauma. I especially love the opening montage of his hands, and the fast, choppy editing. The song choice is inspired too.

Devil's backbone by secretlytodream

A very different Steve Rogers vid to Freedom Ride. I love how it builds, and how it shows how very little choice Bucky had in any of what happened but how Steve chooses him time and time again.

Hail Satan by Tafadhali

Sometimes a vid isn't so much a celebration as a stern FUCK YOU to canon. I said when I first watched this I could feel the anger vibrating off it, and it inspired my own ST vid Brutal. Great song choice, and really great use of the limited amount of screen time Corroded Coffin gets too

To Wreck, Jedusaur/@jedusaur

Speaking of fuck yous to canon.... Not only is this a fantastic, pointed, angry vid, with a gutpunch when you realise just what the vid is about, the first time i saw it also has joyful memories attached, as I watched it premiere at bitchin party far too long ago.

Potential Break Up Song by sisabet

Just roll around in the most toxic of toxic breakups. I watched Smallville for far too long because of Michael Rosebaum's face and this is a really good exhibition of why. His ability to make one of THE comic book villains the poorest little miaow miaow.

Wait for it by booksandwildthings

(I only have the YouTube link for this). This remains one of my favourite Obi-Wan vids, though really this whole playlist could be Obi-Wan. I like the usage of the cartoon source, and the impact the switch to live action makes. It also really throws into sharp relief how much Obi-Wan loved Anakin, which of course makes his betrayal hurt even more (flashing lights in this one)

Whoomp (There it Is) by Sisabet

Has me grinning the whole way through. Saving the world with friendship and nail bits! This has such great movement and the editing is spot on. The lyric matching is so fun too. (flashing lights in this one)

Spring Break Anthem by emotionallyits2009

If Bethlehem Steel is Dean As Tragedy, this is Dean as well...just watch. The comedy in this vid is so well done, and I really love the way it highlights Jensen's comic chops, while also exploring the darker underbelly of Dean's hedonism.

And apparently I only get 10 vids per post?? So I guess this is part one of two

[nightcolorz]

more on dissociative armand- some songs that i feel fit him & this headcanon very well because i cant not relate him to songs (my armand playlist is something like 17 hours long at this point, not including 3 separate ones that are also for him)

- Christine by Siouxsie and The Banshees

“she tries not to shatter, kaleidoscope style, personality changes behind her red smile, every new problem brings a stranger inside, helplessly forcing one more new disguise”

Now, this song is actually about a woman named Christine with DID, but with this headcanon the songs, and particularly these opening lyrics match up with Armand very well, both with his disconnect between Armand, Amadeo and Arun and with his intense masking to hide his abnormalities and discomforts.

- Valley of the Dolls by Marina (and the Diamonds)

“Born with a void, hard to destroy with love or hope, built with a heart, broken from the start”

&

“Living with identities that do not belong to me”

&

“Pick a personality for free, when you feel like nobody”

This song has a whole lot of thing that feel very Armand so i’ll go in order of the lyrics.

The first set of these lyrics definitely reminds me of Armand thinking and talking about his own past and what little he remembers of it. When he is talking to Daniel in 1973 he uses the metaphor of a black hole to talk about the absence of a meaningful self or life, which he projects onto Daniel even as it relates to himself a lot more. Armand is always a character that is sort of “doomed from the start”, his narrative of horrors and dehumanisation beginning at such a young age (even with things like “not made from human hands”) that he doesn’t really know anything else. He doesn’t have any sense of self than a void, and his heart really is broken from the start, never really being able to love someone or understand love at all. (“would he recognise love, if he were to experience it?”)

The second set of lyrics add onto this and the HC of dissociative disorders/ his identities really being separate. The identities of Amadeo and Armand never did belong to him, they were given to him, assigned to him by Marius and Allessandra respectively. Then there is Arun, who he doesn’t remember. He doesn’t know if that was his true name at all and all he does remember is when that life and identity was taken from him. It doesn’t come back up until his relationship with Louis, and when it starts to be used in their unhealthy Dom/Sub relationship, it again doesn’t belong to him, but to Louis.

The third set of lyrics really is an add on to the second, Armand doesn’t really feel like anyone, he has no fixed identity, so he keeps choosing different parts to play to please or serve whoever he’s around and what they want, be it Lestat, the theatre coven, Louis or Daniel. These come so easily and freely because it’s all he knows, it’s not putting a mask over a real person, its becoming another phantom of a person that he has always been.

- Another Marina song, Fear and Loathing

“I’ve lived a lot of different lives, been different people many times, I lived my life in bitterness, and fill my heart with emptiness”

&

“Got different people inside my head, I wonder which one that they like best, I’m done with trying to have it all, and ending up with not much at all”

I don’t really have anything to say here that wouldn’t be repeating what I said for Valley of the Dolls as it’s very much the same thing, but these lyrics are too fitting not to also mention, and this song is So Very Armand both in lyrics and sonically, it has that perfect dreamy-gentle yet heartbreaking tone.

Last but not least Identity by X-Ray Spex gives me a very similar vibe even if the tone is very different (a classic punk song). I can’t really say much about the lyrics as they are quite repetitive (“Identity is the crisis can’t you see”) but it’s very Armand nonetheless and gives me the impression of Old man no nonsense Daniel confronting him about his lack of self

YESSSS UR SO RIGHT THESE R PERFECT!!!! Every time I get sent Armand songs I get ten more years on my life

[obey-me-hoe]

Leviathan as songs from my comfort playlist:

*Disclaimer: my criteria for this was all over the place. Some are because of the lyrics, some are based on vibes, and some my brain just said choose that one 😬 (all the OM! songs are in the playlist too but obviously they don't count)

(Honestly my brain just screamed "LEVI" at me when I was listening to this song)

(A lot of the lyrics remind me of Levi)

(Anime openings usually make me think of Levi. This one makes me imagine him getting really into a video game similar to how characters in sports anime get really into whatever sport they're playing)

(Reminds me of Levi's pet fish Henry. Also it's adorable and happy like how Levi is when he gets excited)

(One of the singers sounds similar to Levi. Also it's adorable just like the last one)

(I feel like Levi secretly really loves sports animes and intros like this hype him up)

(I feel like this one's vibes capture the negativity Levi feels inside especially bc of his envy. I know the actual lyrics don't necessarily fit that but it does have a sad/hurt connotation that is similar)

(This song gives me the feeling of Levi being envious of others and wanting what they have thus wanting "that blue sugar high" that he doesn't experience like others do)

(Sure are a lotta songs from Free! in here but it makes sense bc swimming/water so it works for Levi. All the Free! songs have similar reasons for me choosing them)

Combined OM! Playlist

Leviathan Playlist

Other versions:

Lucifer, Mammon, Satan, Asmo, Beel, Belphie, Diavolo, Barbatos, Solomon, Simeon, Luke & Raphael, Mephisto & Thirteen

[alltrap]

Hazbin Hotel Song Tierlist

Ranking Explanations-

S Tier (my favorite songs)-

Loser Baby: Do I have to explain myself?

Hell’s Greatest Dad: What’s better than watching 2 prideful ass men fighting? Nothing.

A Tier-

Stayed Gone: Love this song so much. Debated on putting it in S tier but I’ve been replaying those songs more than I have this one.

B Tier (Songs I like but I’m picky)-

Respectless: At first I didn’t like it but it kinda grew on me. I don’t like Velvet since she’s kinda dumb but she absolutely ate during this scene.

It Starts With Sorry: Super sweet and I really liked it. Not in my playlist but I wouldn’t mind listening to it.

Hell is Forever: It’s fine. I love rock so this song could’ve gotten into A tier but most of it is pretty mid. Even though I know Adam is supposed to be an asshole he just makes the song annoying. I only really like the last part of the song. Plus most of my other complaints aren’t really about the song, mostly writing of the actual show and Adam’s design. Adam’s design sucks.

C Tier (Mid songs that I would only sit through when watching the show):

Poison: Don’t get me wrong, I love Angel Dust and his story but I feel like this is such a bad song to convey his feelings through. It’s like it’s trying to be a catchy pop song but also trying to convey abuse and deep feelings and it just falls flat. Some of the lyrics just get on my nerves because of how much they’re repeated. “Yeah” doesn’t even feel like a word anymore after this song. Reminds me of Cotton Candy from Helluva Boss. It would be a good song if the words “cotton candy” weren’t 90% of it. But like I say with most music, everybody is subjected to their own music taste and it’s cool if you like this and I don’t. I just wouldn’t listen to this unless I was rewatching the show.

Happy Day In Hell- Again, this song is fine. There’s a few seconds where I kinda vibe but most of it where I don’t. It’s a mid tier song.

More than Anything- It was cute and all seeing Lucifer be there for Charlie but it felt a little rushed. Plus it didn’t really stick out to me. If I listened to it again maybe it could grow on me but for now it’s mid tier.

You Didn’t Know: Like I said with More than Anything, it didn’t really stick out. I liked the Seraphim taking Charlie’s side and stuff but it didn’t really do anything. They were trying to protest and stuff but the song kinda felt useless after Sera made her final decision. Still mid.

D Tier (Songs I literally forgot about):

Whatever It Takes: No joke, forgot about this song only a week after I watch the episode. That’s how bad this song was. I didn’t like the pacing in the song. Charlie and Vaggie’s conflict felt rushed too so Vaggie’s part felt unnecessary. Plus, we still barely know anything about Carmilla except she makes weapons and she loves her family so this song really falls through. I think the show’s writing sabotaged this song but I don’t want to get into that.

Welcome to Heaven: 😐. My face during this song. Such a bad song. I guarantee to you that I’ll forget about this next week. I also just don’t like most of the designs from heaven. They look so tacky and rushed. I literally let out a disappointed sigh when I saw the seraphim. Most of my gripes about this is mostly just the character design. I know Viv put thought into some of the demons but the angels have me dead.

Here’s me ranting again about the show that doesn’t have anything to do with the songs. I just have so much stuff I want to rant about this show, some of it good and the rest bad. But that’s my tier-list so far.

[venus-is-thinking]

Deciphering the DRDT Character Playlist

Hello DRDT community! @accirax and I took a look at the official character song playlist [remade version bc it got deleted or privated] and decided to take our own shot at figuring out whose is whose and what it means. It's pretty late, but we have at least some sort of a guess with reasoning for every song!

We used a combination of Genius lyrics, the vocaloid lyrics wiki, and google translation of Japanese lyrics in the YouTube description to get a decently functional interpretation of every song. Our theory goes through the songs in the order they show up on the playlist (we're pretty positive it isn't kill order), which means our confidence varies heavily from song to song. With that being said, let's go!

Diamond is Unbreakable by Yunno Kago: Ace Markey

This song does not have many lyrics, so a lot of our guess is based on vibes (though it gives much more than some other songs). The rock instrumental with more yell-based vocals feels like it suits Ace though, and I feel safe to say that Ace has had a breakdown (and may have many more in the future).

Sing Along by Sturgill Simpson: Teruko Tawaki

This song fits Teruko quite well. It has an edgier sound to it, but it isn't completely uncaring if you look at the lyrics.

I can't go on living alone now that you're gone You done me wrong, so here's your song

It reminds me of the scene where she plays with the cacti. She clearly misses Xander (and possibly others in her past), but that obviously doesn't stop her from feeling betrayed by them either.

There are a lot of lyrics about bitterness too (ex. "words can stab as deep as night," "bitter air and the winds of spite"), which reflect how Teruko has been treating the rest of the cast in Chapter 2. It's a duality of caring too much and acknowledging the harshness of the world, which encapsulates Teruko's character quite well.

RUNAWAY by half alive: Hu Jing

Not gonna lie, we were struggling on this one. This song is pretty much entirely predictive of a character arc that Hu might have later on. We're predicting this based on Hu's secret quote, which is basically the only reason we gave this song to her: "I want to pay for what I've done. But even then, I still want to live."

This implies that she has not paid for "what [she's] done," which probably relates to her secret. I know a lot of people think she might be the hopeless child, but I'm far more partial to the theory that Hu is the one who poisoned her competition. If she hasn't paid for it, it's possible she feels like she ran away, from the situation which could open the door for her handling those feelings later on.

cartoons by Louie Zong: Rose Lacroix

This entire song is about drawing and thought processes, which both relate to Rose's character pretty strongly. The recurring lyric of "it's all just cartoons in [her] head" makes me think of her photographic memory, which takes real life and permanently stores it in her mind.

There are also lyrics like "feeling every day the same" and "trying to make that old deadline" that strongly relate to her background with the Spurling Foundation. She feels like she's just watching the rest of her life go by as a corporate slave, and those feelings are wrapped up in a light and airy song, matching Rose's demeanor.

asymptotic by Louie Zong: Charles Cuevas

This is a silly little nerd love song. As a CharWhit shipper, I definitely think that there's a strong chance that this relates to Charles' feelings about Whit, calling him a "cutie face in x-y space" and other such things. It's pretty simple, but it's true that, romantic or not, a lot of Charles' character arc thus far has revolved around his relationship with Whit and realizing that he does enjoy spending time with his classmates.

However, notably, there's also the lyric "I'll forget," which made me start thinking about Charles' past he forgot about.

Asymptotic, obliquely Here's the point of this speech As close as we could ever get, you'll be just out of reach

This reads to me as being about Charles' memories or the older brother he doesn't remember losing. As close as he can get to remembering or understanding what happened through things like the secrets motive, it won't be the same as actually returning to that past or remembering it in full. Maybe that's reading into things a little too hard, but I think the interpretation is there to be read.

A Mistaken Belief of Love by Niru Kajitsu: Eden Tobisa

I'll be direct: this relates to our theories about how Eden is the Chapter 2 killer. I'm a particular proponent of the interpretation that Eden didn't believe Arei when she said she wanted to be friends and decided she wanted to escape back to her old life, to the girl she kissed. I'm not going to go into that Eden theory now, but @/1moreff-creator and @/thebadjoe have a great thread going back and forth which goes over a lot of what I personally believe to be true.

If you assume that Eden is the killer and wanted to be Arei's friend but gave up on the possibility when Arei snapped at her, the lyrics start to make sense. "Then I'll kill you at our rendezvous" would clearly relate to Eden summoning Arei to the playground just to kill her. "I just wanted to mistakenly believe that you loved me" relates to Eden's feelings towards Arei and the rest of the class, but that "mistaken belief" was shattered, causing her to kill.

Shunran by John/TOOBOE: Arei Nageishi

This song chronicles Arei's entire character arc, from prologue to death. It starts out much more aggressive and unfriendly, saying things like "I won't pay attention to small fry" and "I become angry easily." However, there's a recurring lyric that shows how she actually feels.

They say that praying to be loved is a sin. It has such a sweet scent.

Arei desperately wants to be loved, for people to be nice to her, but she's learned over the course of her life that she couldn't have that. Still, she can't help but want to be loved, so even when she knows that David is a manipulator, she still listens to his words. Even when she knows she's been awful to Eden, she swears she'll do anything to prove to Eden that she's serious, that she really does want to be her friend.

I pledged a ceasefire. My personality peeled off and fell because I have the courage to accept disappointment

As the song progresses, that desperate desire to be loved creeps its way into the actions the singer takes as well. Arei was willing to put aside her meanness she learned as a defense and try to stop the fighting, try to become friends, because she's strong enough to try even if she might fail. Through it all, all she wants is to be loved.

Yesman by Niru Kajitsu and Hachiya Nanashi: Nico Hakobyan

This song has a lot of lyrics relating to how the singer expresses scorn or insults. We know that this is a focal point of Nico's struggles with communication: they don't know what comes across as hostile or helpful.

However, as the song progresses, it gets more purposefully aggressive. There's a particular set of lines that seem to relate to how Nico interacts with Ace. They can tell Ace that they hate him, directly, and no one even blames them.

You could say that and you're still just a kid. How amazing!

This, in my mind, relates to Nico saying that they'll kill Ace (and clearly meaning it), but Hu still babies them. They can get away with all kinds of things.

There's no reason for me to turn back now, huh? I was caught in my own trap

Nico then, realizing that they can get away with a lot, goes after Ace, trying to literally kill him. They were caught, though, explaining the second lyric here.

The song also has a prominent lyric: "I'm an introvert, just waiting." There are variations on this, but I think it gets across the core idea: Nico is quiet, but they're still a part of the story the whole time, waiting for an opportunity to get their way.

Undead Enemy by Suzumu and Giga P: David Chiem

This song hinges around David's false persona of smiles and motivation and his true self who hates everything and everyone.

For whatever reason, he put on a mask symbolizing The leading role he had yearned for in the past.

Here, David is choosing to put on that motivational speaker persona.

And, from the next day onward, The unhappy boy's smile did not falter, He was even loved by someone

David then keeps up that happy and inspirational self, without fail, so that the world will love and accept him as the Ultimate they expect him to be.

However, the lyrics are filled with more hateful lines that sound more like him in Episode 11.

Slander and criticize, and then, I won't need anyone else. Just leave me alone

I act spitefully in disgust and force a smile

While he pretends to be happy and good, he knows himself to be much worse. This song focuses on those true colors.

Drawing Pins by Nothing but Thieves: Levi Fontana

Levi is a very pensive character. The main line of the song is "tell me what you did it for, 'cause I can't figure it out." That could relate to Levi's apparent struggles to understand others and what the "correct" thing to do in social situations is, like when he asks others how to handle the situation with Ace. I also like the interpretation that he could be talking to himself, wondering why he did what he did in the past. (Whatever mysterious past Levi has, it's clear that he did some things he's not thrilled about, and he seems to have a lot of feelings surrounding it.)

What do I have to do To be loved, loved by you

I'm personally not an AceVi shipper, but this line would definitely relate to Ace. Levi messed up in the first trial, threatening Ace, but in Chapter 2, he's trying to make up for it. Nothing he seems to do works, though, so he's at a loss as to what he could possibly do to make it up to him.

Hi-Fi Evolution Theory by Keu Studio: Veronika Grebenshchikova

Disclaimer, we had to put this song through google translate, so our lyrics might not be entirely correct.

Given that, though, I'm pretty confident this song must be Veronika's. There are a lot of lyrics that indicate her, but the most important ones surround what we've most recently learned about her: she can't stand boredom and will do just about anything for fun.

But is it selfish to have fun?

The one who laughs last is the winner

Even though Veronika knows that enjoying the killing game or possibly even working against the group's best interests in it is stupid at best and evil at worst, she'll still do it as long as it keeps her entertained. If she's selfish, she's selfish; she'll do it either way.

tip toes by half alive: Min Jeung

This song heavily ties into Min's outlook which she explains in her bonus episode. The lyrics mention a "need to be known," or a "pride" that's "screaming." She internalized a core need to become an Ultimate to keep her going forward and to preserve her hope.

She does want to change her behavior, though.

My future will listen to me, Listen to me, listen to me

Min is trying desperately to find a life for herself now that she's become an Ultimate. She wants to learn how to live after she's achieved the goal that her entire life has centered around. This song is her searching for the life that she wants to live in spite of her previous experience.

The song also sounds sort of desperate with its repetition of "listen to me" and the overall vibe of the instrumental. This fits in with Min's increasing desperation as she realizes, at the end of the first trial, that she won't have a future to figure out anymore.

Polygonal by fallstay (ふぁるすてぃ): Xander Matthews

This one was also put through google translate, so apologies for any mistranslations!

This song makes sense for Xander if you consider his clear survivor's guilt, visible through both his bonus episode and his secret quote, which is, in the most literal way possible, the dictionary definition of survivor's guilt. It mentions a "life full of mistakes" and describes other similar thoughts.

I'm dizzy and it hurts so much that I feel like throwing up

The urge to scream and someone's loud sobbing

That's my pain

These all feel like ways Xander interprets his past, which is his pain. We already know that Teruko accidentally running into him and hitting his eye hurt so badly he passed out, which is a step beyond "dizzy." Someone could be sobbing about his past; maybe it's even him. The things in his past that haunt him are what shape who he is and his actions, and that's what this song is about.

Spitfire (05 Version) by The Prodigy: J Rosales

This one has like one lyric. The vibes fit J though, and I don't really know who else's it would be or what other song would be hers, so it stays.

desk rotation by RQ laji-2: Arturo Giles

I'm not gonna lie. This is an instrumental. We have no idea what it means. This was process of elimination. I don't know what other song Arturo's would be so he gets this one.

(In all seriousness, you COULD give this one to Hu because it's music and she's a musician, give Arei the more hopeful RUNAWAY and give Arturo Shunran. The beginning of Shunran fits him decently, but I think the interpretation sort of falls apart in the middle of the song, at least given what I know about his character, and I think it fits Arei much better.

After we read some other theories, too, we think there's a viable shuffle that goes like this:

desk rotation: Hu (musical connection) tip toes: Arturo (generally prideful, future emphasis contrasting with his secret forcing him to think about the past) asymptotic: Min (abstracted to apply to the life she wants to seek out, math works as Ultimate Student) RUNAWAY: Charles (relating to him "running" from his past memories, positive growth arc)

While I still like our initial interpretations for Charles asymptotic and Min tip toes, I like the handling of RUNAWAY and desk rotation better with this one.)

For whatever it's worth, I also think there's a slight possibility that desk rotation is a placeholder song. It's a complete instrumental (all other songs have at least SOME lyrics), so it wouldn't be too insane to me if they had a song that they decided was just too spoiler-y to be released to the public. In that case, I think it's possible desk rotation will one day be replaced with a different song. Realistically, though, it's probably just here and we have to figure out what the hell it means.

Good Grief by Bastille: Whit Young

Whit obviously lost his mother at some point, who he clearly idolizes. You can see the glowing way he talks about her in the laundry room with Teruko and Charles, and his secret quote is literally "We tend to idolize the dead." He loves his mother, but given his secret, it's clear that she is dead.

This song is about grief. Whit represses a lot of his emotions, so I expect he hasn't yet felt his grief in full and hasn't processed it. He has, however, made it very clear that he struggles with loneliness, and that has a lot to do with his loss. I think that, over the course of the story, he's going to have to actually process grief and experience sadness. While it's possible that'll just be due to the feelings he has surrounding his mother, given that he's in a killing game, I think that he'll have to confront personal loss again to have this arc.

Regrettably, I think that that'll probably come in the form of Charles dying, likely as a Chapter 3 victim. Others have theorized on that, but suffice it to say that, narratively and based on hints they've dropped, I think it's probably true ( :( ). Whit, as he clearly cares about Charles, would then be confronted with grief again. He'd have to endure it and learn to deal with the loss.

On the plus side, I'd expect he'd be likely to survive afterwards.

[gothcsz]

𝑻𝒉𝒐𝒓𝒐𝒖𝒈𝒉𝒇𝒂𝒓𝒆 / Chapter X.

PAIRING: Javier Peña x Original Female Character

SUMMARY: The aftermath of their heated hook up drives our MC into the arms of another man.

WORD COUNT: ~8.7k

RATING: 18+ Explicit topics such as sex, drugs, murder, the occult, religion, cannibalism and other triggering matters will be explored in this body of work. Minors DNI.

CHAPTER SPECIFIC TAGS: discussions of religion, javi being an asshole, angst, crime talk (if it's not accurate don't @ me), talk of violence against women, substance use (weed), slut shaming(?), jealous!javi, other things that I'm probably forgetting.

DISCLAIMER/WARNINGS: The Javier Peña referenced in this body of work is solely based off of the character that appears in Netflix’s Narcos and not the actual person. Very canon divergent and I will tweak things as I see fit to compliment the narrative of this story. While efforts have been made to be accurate in terms of canon timeline, a lot of details will be fictionalized.

A/N: getting down and dirty with the occult aspect of this intricate ass plotline, lol ! i took a lot of inspiration from some of my favorite horror movies (rosemary's baby, immaculate, the first omen) so if you're into that i def rec watching the movies listed! also javi why are you so bothered?! this is literally what you wanted idk what to tell u... as always feel free to drop any type of feedback/support on this blog or ao3. i'd really appreciate it <3

♰  read on ao3. ♰

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Paloma feels the excruciating fallout with Javier for the next three days, confined to her bed as if shackled by her heartbreak. Unable to escape the anguish, she seeks refuge in her favorite movies, hoping their familiar narratives might provide a distraction.

She’s also been listening to Olivia Newton-John’s “Hopelessly Devoted to You” on repeat, finding solace in the familiar melody and heartfelt lyrics. Initially, the song’s sweet sorrow seemed to echo her own emotions perfectly, providing a cathartic release as she quietly sang along in the comfort of her sheets, lost in the melancholy tune.

However, by the twelfth listen, the song’s lamenting tones only deepened her sense of despair.

To avoid her father’s concern, she lies, claiming she got food poisoning from the party. He doesn’t question her, fulfilling his fatherly duties with unwavering dedication, bringing her medicine and even attempting to cook her a comforting meal; which says a lot considering he’s a shit cook.

Romeo’s care and concern provide a small comfort, and she doesn’t have to exert much effort to feign her illness. She genuinely feels sick to her stomach as memories of that fateful night with Javier replay in her mind incessantly; a relentless loop she can’t seem to escape.

What she despises most is the lingering evidence of their hook-up that still clings to her skin. The persistent bite mark on her shoulder serves as a stubborn reminder of their intimacy, refusing to fade like a scar upon her flesh. And though the throbbing ache between her legs has dulled somewhat, it’s still there like a faint echo of the pleasure he once bestowed upon her—a cruel reminder of what once was and what now lies shattered.

But none of this negates the venomous words he spat at her, each syllable dripping with malice. He had called her a whore, desperate, and accused her of giving it up for free. How could he? That question has been circulating in her mind for the entirety of these three agonizing days.

How could he say those things to her? Has Javier always been this much of an asshole, and had her rose-colored glasses blinded her to his true nature all this time? No, that couldn’t be it. Everyone adores him. The private, intimate moments they shared stand in stark contrast to the vicious side of him she witnessed at the party.

He played you, Paloma. Did all the right things, said all the right words until he got what he wanted. A spot between your legs. Now that he’s fucked you, you mean nothing to him.

This bitter realization gnaws at her, a relentless ache worse than any physical pain. She replays all their encounters in her mind, dissecting every word and gesture, searching for signs she might have missed. The warmth of his touch, the sweetness of his whispers, all now feel like part of an elaborate ruse.

He had seemed so genuine, so caring, but perhaps that was all part of his act. 

The thought that she was nothing more than a conquest to him is unbearable. She grapples with the harsh truth, feeling a mix of anger and self-loathing. How could she have been so blind? As she lies in bed, these questions torment her, turning her once cherished memories into a source of endless pain.

Tears well up in her eyes and she buries her face in her pillow, sobbing quietly as the overwhelming feeling of being used crashes over her. 

She hates this, hates him. Hates that he wields so much power over her. Javier Peña has found a way to break her completely, shattering her self-confidence and making her feel utterly worthless. All those times she fantasized about sleeping with him, imagining him as a worthy lover who would shower her with praises and kisses, making her feel like the Roman goddess Venus, now seem like cruel jokes.

Instead, she had let him take her against a gazebo. His whispered words a mix of seduction and degradation. At the time, those filthy whispers had ignited something primal deep within her, spurring her deeper into their heated passion. Yet now, in the cold light of reflection, those same words make her feel cheap. 

She had believed in his charm, convinced herself that their connection was special, that he saw her as more than just another one of his girls. But his cruel words and dismissive attitude revealed the painful truth. She feels like a fool for ever believing in him, for letting herself be swept away by his charisma. 

The phone rings but she ignores it since her father is still home so she just lets him handle it. 

She wishes her mother were here. She’s certain that she would know exactly what to say, providing the comfort and wisdom she desperately needs. She had always been a guiding light, someone who could soothe any hurt and offer perspective on even the most absurd situations. This heartbreak is more intense and consuming than anything she has ever endured romantically, including George’s abandonment.

In her mind, she can almost hear her mother’s voice, gentle yet firm, offering comfort and encouragement. She would remind her that her worth is not defined by the actions of others, that she deserves to be loved and cherished for who she is. She would tell Paloma that heartbreak is a part of life, a painful but necessary step towards finding true love and happiness.

A knock sounds at her bedroom door, but she doesn’t move, her face still buried in the soft cushion.

“Can I come in?” Her father’s voice filters through the wooden door. She sighs heavily, lifting herself from the pillow and wiping away stray tears.

“Y-Yeah.”

He enters the room hesitantly, taking in the scene. Her room is a mess, more so than its usual manageable chaos. The black dress she wore that night lies in a crumpled heap at the foot of her bed. He can see she has been crying—the puffiness of her eyes and the red tint on her nose give it away.

“Feelin’ any better, baby?” He asks tentatively, slowly making his way to her side of the bed. He sits down beside her, his presence a quiet comfort.

She shakes her head, laying back down and glancing up at her father. Worry is etched clearly in his eyes.

“Do I need to get you an appointment with Dr. Hughes? She’s not so busy nowadays.”

Daddy, the sickness I’m experiencing can’t be cured with medicine. It can only be cured by a certain someone with beautiful brown eyes and a cruel, unforgiving heart.

“No, I’ll be fine. I promise. It’s just a little stomach bug. I’ll get over it in no time.”

Romeo sighs softly, his hand moving to gently stroke her back. “Alright, little miss stomach bug. I’ll pick up some more medicine on my way back from work. Your friend Slo is on the line again. That’s why I came in here. Just had to check on ya first.”

She feels a pang of guilt. She’s been avoiding Sloane’s calls ever since the heartbreak took hold, too engulfed in her sorrow to face anyone but her father. It’s ironic, given how she often complains about how overbearing he can be, yet now finds comfort only in his presence.

Her father’s touch is warm and soothing, but it doesn’t erase the ache in her chest. She knows Sloane means well, but the thought of explaining her feelings, of reliving the pain with every word, is too much to bear. She nuzzles into her pillow, trying to hide from the world a little longer.

“Guess I should finally talk to her. Thanks, Daddy,” She murmurs, her voice muffled by the cushion.

Her father’s hand continues its gentle motion on her back, providing a rhythm that almost lulls her into a sense of temporary peace.

“You need anythin’, you call me, alright? I’ll be at the station all night. If ya can’t get ahold of me for whatever reason—call Javier.”

At the mention of his name, her breath catches in her throat, her body tensing involuntarily. She hopes her father doesn’t notice the visceral reaction that sweeps through her.

“O-okay,” she manages to choke out, her voice barely above a whisper.

A look of concern lingers in his eyes as he leans in to place a tender kiss to the side of her head.

As he gets up to leave, Paloma turns her head slightly, watching him. She wishes she could open up more, let him know just how deep her wounds go, but the words fail her. For now, she takes comfort in the fact that he’s there for her.

Now, guilt settles atop the heap of unwanted feelings that plague her. How could she ever bitch so much about her father, who has been nothing but supportive and caring toward her? Sure, his protectiveness sometimes feels suffocating, but deep down, she knows it stems from the earnestness of his heart. He just wants to ensure her safety and happiness, especially since she’s the only family he has left.

Once the door closes softly behind him, she lets out a shaky breath. The thought of reaching out to Javier, of exposing herself to the pain of his betrayal once again, fills her with a sense of dread. Yet, beneath the fear and uncertainty, there’s a small flicker of longing, a desperate hope that maybe, just maybe, he might backtrack on all he said and apologize to her— make things right between them.

But she buries that thought deep beneath the layers of hurt and anger that consume her. For now, she’ll remain cocooned in her solitude, grappling with the aftermath of his cruel words and callous actions, unsure of how—or if—she’ll ever find the strength to confront him again.

She shifts in bed, her hand reaching out to grasp the receiver from her bedside table, the plastic cool against her fingertips.

“Hello.”

“About fuckin’ time!” Sloane’s chirpy twang rings out, a sharp contrast to the heaviness in her heart. Surprisingly, the sound elicits a small smile, a flicker of warmth amidst her turmoil.

“Sorry— haven’t really been feelin’ like myself as of late.”

“I thought you died. Had half a mind to stop by your place, but your daddy assured me you were alive and well… well, not well. Heard you got sick. Need me to bring you anythin’?”

She takes a moment, gathering her thoughts before responding. “M’not really sick…” she begins, her words trailing off as she absentmindedly twists the cord attached to the receiver around her finger.

“Um… okay… you’re losin’ me here, doll face.”

And so she begins to unravel the tangled web of her conflict, spilling all the details to her best friend. She recounts every moment of her affair with Javier, from the innocent flirtations at the beginning to the raw intensity of their fight at the party three nights ago.

Each word spoke is a painful reminder of the betrayal she has endured. Yet, there’s a sense of relief in sharing her burden, of finally letting someone else into the depths of her pain.

Sloane reacts just as Paloma had anticipated, her familiar blend of humor and unwavering support providing a much-needed anchor in the storm of her current love life. As she pours out her heart, Slo interjects with witty jokes, each one a lifeline tossed into the turbulent sea of her despair. But amidst the laughter, her words carry a burden of truth, her fierce loyalty shining through in the advice she offers.

“You deserve so much better,” Sloane declares, her voice brimming with conviction. “Don’t matter if he’s got the best cock in the world—he should’ve never talked to you like that or treated you the way he did.”

She feels a fresh wave of tears threaten to spill over, the rawness of her words striking a chord deep in her wounded heart. She blinks them away quickly, refusing to shed another tear over him, determined to reclaim her strength and dignity.

“Yeah, I know,” she murmur, “I just want to get over it. Get over him.”

Sloane’s response is swift after a brief pause. “Your daddy workin’ tonight?”

“...Yes.”

“Perfect,” Slo declares, her tone brightening with mischief. “Me and Gabriel will come get you, and you can ride around with us… I can ask August to tag along if you want.”

She can’t help but smile at the teasing lilt in her friend’s voice. This is Sloane’s not-so-subtle way of playing wingwoman, a role she’s embraced since the moment they met. Despite the pain and heartache, she finds consolation in the unwavering support of her friend, grateful for the chance to escape her troubles, if only for a little while.

What’s the harm in inviting August along? After all, isn’t the saying that the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else? He’s already expressed his interest in her, sparked her curiosity and filled her mind with newfound knowledge that she still pores over during her shifts at the library.

August is smart, handsome, newly rich, and most importantly— he doesn’t treat her like she’s disposable. He sees her for who she truly is, beyond the physical, beyond anything else.

“Earth to Paloma? Hello?”

She snaps out of her thoughts, returning to the present conversation.

“Yeah, that sounds fun. Now I gotta get off my ass and take a shower,” she replies, a hint of self-deprecation in her voice as she realizes how much she’s let herself go during this bout of sadness.

“Alright, stinky girl, be there in like an hour,” Sloane teases, the warmth of her laughter echoing through the phone.

She chuckles softly before saying goodbye and hanging up, feeling a renewed sense of energy after the phone call. She throws off the duvet and rises from her bed, stretching her limbs as she hears a few satisfying pops.

She needs this. To go out, do something, feel like herself again.

After her much-needed and rejuvenating shower, she tidies up her room, the act of putting things in order helping to calm the chaos in her mind. With a sense of purpose, she bounces down the stairs, the anticipation of the evening ahead putting a spring in her step. She waits on the porch for her friends to arrive, the warm evening air wrapping around her like a comforting embrace.

She’s forced to forego her go-to halter top, opting instead for a simple t-shirt to hide Javier's unmistakable fucking mark. It’s a small sacrifice to make for the chance to reclaim a sense of normalcy, a reminder that she’s more than just a pawn in someone else’s game.

The distant headlights announce their arrival and her face breaks out into a wide grin as she stands.

“Hop into the back!” Sloane calls out from the passenger side window, her voice filled with cheerful enthusiasm as she leans out, beckoning her over. Without hesitation, she happily complies, her heart lifting at the prospect of spending time with her friends.

As the vehicle comes to a stop, the girls exchange kisses on the cheek in passing, a gesture of affection and camaraderie that feels like a balm to her soul. She climbs into the bed of the truck, where August awaits, his relaxed posture exuding a casual confidence. A joint dangles from his lips, the smoke swirling lazily in the summer night air, and she can’t help but feel a flutter of excitement at the sight of him.

“Hey, little dove,” He greets her, his voice warm and inviting. “Heard you were sick. Feelin’ any better?”

She settles beside him, the cool metal of the truck bed beneath her, and brings her knees up to her chest as she gazes up at him with soft, grateful eyes.

“A lot better now,” she confesses, a small smile tugging at the corners of her lips. She’s determined to throw herself into whatever this is, to embrace the warmth and companionship offered by her friends, if only to keep herself from sinking back into the depths of despair that have haunted her for the past few nights.

He smiles at her, a glint of amusement dancing in his eyes as he blows out a plume of smoke, the truck beginning its descent down the elongated driveway. “Good. So I guess you’re up for that date. Finally,” he remarks, extending the joint towards her.

She hesitates, her mind momentarily grappling with the decision. She’s recently taken on a vow to swear off drugs and alcohol, a decision prompted by Javier’s disappointment when he picked her up at the sunflower field. But now, with August’s expectant gaze upon her, she wonders if maintaining that vow is worth it.

“I dunno— you gonna ditch me halfway through it?” she quips, accepting the joint from him and bringing it to her lips, her resolve wavering.

August watches intently, his tongue darting out to wet his lips. “Sorry about that, pretty girl. Some of the guys got into it and I had to go deal with that shit. Being the so-called leader ain’t all sunshine and rainbows.”

She exhales slowly, the smoke billowing around her before dissipating into the air. She passes the joint back to him, a small smile playing on her lips as she recalls their interrupted plans.

The truck hits a pothole, causing Paloma to clumsily stumble into August’s side with a small yelp of surprise. They share a moment of laughter as August throws his arm over her shoulders, drawing her close.

“Fine, I guess I’ll let it slide… but don’t ditch me like that again. The whole thing got busted by the cops, and I was this close to goin’ to jail,” she exaggerates, her tone tinged with mock indignation as she leans further into August’s embrace. The darkness of the backroads envelops them as they continue their leisurely drive through the quiet town.

“Nah, they wouldn’t have laid a finger on you, baby. You’re the sheriff’s daughter—practically immune to everythin’,” August reassures her, his voice carrying a hint of confidence.

He’s right and they both know it. Paloma’s status as the sheriff’s daughter affords her a certain level of protection, a shield against the consequences that ordinary citizens might face. If she had been caught by her father or any of his deputies, they wouldn’t have pressed charges. At most, she would have received a stern lecture.

She tries to knock thoughts of Javier aside, but they stubbornly persist, creeping into her mind like shadows in the night. She can’t help but recall the way Javier had taken care of her, buying her food and opening up about his romantic past. She remembers how he had held her close when the snake brushed up against her leg, how he had hidden them in the shadows when her father awoke in the midst of her sneaking back in.

And she remembers, vividly, how he had kissed her back.

Fuck him, she thinks bitterly, pushing the memories away with a forceful mental shove.

“Not everythin’… just enough,” She quips, a giggle bubbling up her throat as she takes the joint from August once more. This time, she inhales deeply, allowing the smoke to fill her lungs, a fleeting distraction from the tangled mess she's involved in.

The four of them spend the remainder of the night weaving through the darkened streets, their laughter and chatter filling the air as they embark on their impromptu adventure. They stop here and there, finding amusement in open fields or exploring the eerie confines of the town’s abandoned buildings. She feels a sense of exhilaration coursing through her veins, her broken heart mending as she loses herself in the company of her friends. High as hell, she revels in the freedom of the moment, carefree and unburdened by the troubles that had plagued her earlier.

As the night wears on, they find themselves at the graveyard, the moon casting an ethereal glow over the rows of weathered headstones. Amidst the quiet stillness of the night, they swap ghost stories, each tale more outlandish than the last. Despite their best efforts to spook each other, the atmosphere is more comical than terrifying, the shared laughter echoing through the darkness.

“We’re all hangin’ out at the creek tomorrow. You should come with,” Slo suggests, reclining on her back in the patch of grass between two gravestones.

“Can’t. I work at the library all day,” She responds, a hint of regret coloring her voice.

“So? Call out. It’s not like they need you there,” Slo counters, her tone brimming with nonchalance.

She bites her lip, her hesitation evident. “I’ve already been out this week due to ‘being sick’. Olsen relies on me. I’m surprised that place hasn’t gone up in flames.”

“Oh, don’t be lame. Just call in sick again,” Slo urges, dismissing Paloma’s concerns with a wave of her hand.

“And when someone sees me takin’ my happy ass down to the creek—what then?”

“No one worth hiding from goes there anyways.”

“Okay, and what about my daddy?”

“Ugh, you and your daddy issues. Swear I ain’t ever met anyone with a good father figure have the issues that you do,” Slo remarks, her tone bordering on exasperation.

“Fuck off.”

“Let Slo be your cover. Tell him you two are hangin’ out for the day now that you’re feelin’ better. S’not a complete lie. C’mon, little dove, it’s summertime. We’re supposed to be enjoyin’ it,” August interjects, his voice calm and reassuring amidst the back and forth between her and Sloane.

Her mind whirls with differing thoughts as she weighs their offer. It’s not the worst thing she could do, she rationalizes, and it’s certainly harmless. After all, she had only promised Olsen that she’d let him know whether or not she could work the shift the following morning; there’s no outright commitment binding her to the library.

Moreover, she considers her father’s perspective. He’d likely prefer her to be out with Slo, especially now that she’s in higher spirits.

With a sigh, she nods, a small smile playing at the corners of her lips as she agrees. “Fine,” she says, her voice carrying a hint of amusement. “I guess I can make some time to go out there with y’all.”

Their cheers ring out, a chorus of excitement that lifts her spirits even higher. As she looks around at her friends, their faces illuminated by the soft glow of the moonlight, she realizes that, in this moment, she’s exactly where she’s meant to be.

Javier leans back in his chair, exhaustion weighing heavy on his eyelids as he drifts in and out of sleep. The sterile hum of the overhead lights provides a steady backdrop, a monotonous rhythm that lulls him into a drowsy stupor.

True to his word, he’s wholeheartedly been focusing on the cases, his attention shifting from the victims  to the enigmatic symbol that Jessica Valdez had ingested. It’s become an obsession of sorts, his starting point in a labyrinth of clues that he hopes will lead to justice.

To aid in his investigation, Javier reached out to some of the acquaintances he made during his time in Quantico, specifically those who were involved in the infamous Tate–LaBianca murders and the occult subculture that gripped the west coast in the late ‘60s. They possessed a wealth of knowledge about the inner workings of occult groups, their insights invaluable in deciphering the tangled web of motives and allegiances.

After catching up with them over the phone, they promised to connect him with an occult professor at UCLA who could potentially shed light on the mysterious symbol. It’s a glimmer of hope in the darkness, a chance to glean some semblance of understanding from the chaos that lurks over these cases.

The clock is ticking, and with each passing day, the trail grows colder. He isn’t sure if they’re dealing with a lone individual or a larger organization, but he’s determined to leave no stone unturned in his pursuit of the truth.

“Jesus— you’re still here?” Romeo’s voice breaks through the quiet of the office, his tired eyes glancing down at the silver watch adorning his wrist. It’s almost midnight, and yet Javier remains steadfast at his desk, his presence a testament to his dedication.

Javier sits up, rolling his shoulders back with a quiet groan as he reaches for his pack of cigarettes. With practiced ease, he goes through the motions of lighting one, the smoke curling lazily around him.

“Waiting on a call from someone in California. They’re taking their fucking time, though,” He explains, frustration evident in his tone. He should have just given them his home number, he thinks, where he could lounge around in his own space instead of camping out here in the office.

“California? Got a west coast girl I don’t know about?” Romeo teases, his lips quirking up in a knowing smile as he approaches the counter where the coffee maker sits, beginning to make himself a cup.

Javier snorts, exhaling smoke as he shakes his head. “No, just a professor that I’m hoping will give me more information about that tattoo on the scrap of flesh.” His thoughts briefly flicker to Paloma at the mention of having a girl, but the thought diminishes as fast as it came— he can’t let himself think about her for too long.

Since the mayor’s party, Javier has made a conscious effort to rid his mind of anything concerning her. It’s been a challenge, to say the least, since he could still feel the way she had clenched around him when she came undone on his cock; soaking him with her release and letting out the prettiest moans he’s ever heard.

He could also still vividly recall the pain etched across her face, the tears streaming down her cheeks in response to his brutal words. The memory clear as day in his conscience, a constant reminder of the hurt he had caused.

But Javier refuses to dwell on it. Instead, he threw himself into anything and everything that would serve as a distraction. He busied himself in the minutiae of each case with a dedicated fervor. When work became too much, he sought solace in physical exertion, pushing himself to the limit in grueling workouts that left him physically spent but mentally numb.

Yet despite his best efforts, her memory continues to haunt him, a specter that lingered at the edges of his consciousness. It has only been three days since their encounter, but to Javier, it feels like an eternity. Each passing moment seemed to stretch on indefinitely, his actions bearing down on him with suffocating intensity.

“I see, good thinkin’ Peña. This shit just keeps on gettin’ more and more convoluted. Been thinkin’ of enforcin’ a curfew but that’s only gonna spark more fear and unnecessary rumors. Ain’t got a damn clue how to keep this shit from happenin’ again. Need to at least make an announcement warnin’ all the young girls ‘round here,” Romeo muses, his frustration evident in the furrow of his brow.

Javier nods thoughtfully, ashing his cigarette against the overfilled ashtray before leaning back in his chair, the uncomfortable leather creaking beneath him. “Don’t think a curfew is going to do much like you said. It’s just gonna rattle these folks up. We have consistent victimology now. I’m not against spreading the word and raising awareness. Could give the gazette a statement—have ‘em print it on the front page.”

The two men engage in a spirited exchange of ideas, each offering insights and perspectives born from years of experience in law enforcement. Romeo, ever the pragmatic thinker, voices his concerns while Javier, with his keen analytical mind, suggests alternative approaches. Despite the weight of the situation, there’s a sense of camaraderie between them, a shared determination to tackle the challenges head-on.

Romeo places a steaming mug of coffee at Javier’s desk. The gesture is small, but it speaks volumes about the bond between them, forged through countless late nights and shared struggles. With caffeine-fueled determination, Javier braces himself to stay up longer in anticipation of the phone call with the professor.

“Gotta stop by the pharmacy before I leave in the mornin’. Paloma’s been sick as a dog these past few days,” Romeo announces with a hint of concern.

Javier’s grip on the mug tightens imperceptibly at the mention of her name, a flicker of discomfort crossing his features before he schools his expression into one of casual indifference. He can’t afford to let his true feelings show, not when the sheriff is watching him like a hawk.

It’s not like I fucked her good and hard in the middle of the party then completely shattered her afterwards. 

“She okay?” Javier inquires, his tone carefully neutral.

Romeo lets out a heavy sigh as he settles into the corner of Javier’s desk, weariness etched into the lines of his face. “I honestly don’t know. Said she got food poisonin’ from the party, but we both ate the same things and m’perfectly fine. When I went to check on her today, it was clear that she’d been crying. I even offered to take her to the doctor, but she brushed me off. Hasn’t left her bed in three days. Should see the state of her room—s’like a fuckin’ tornado tore right through it.”

Javier finishes his cigarette in silence, the familiar and  bitter taste of regret lingering on his tongue. The image of her bedridden and in tears plagues his conscience, a painful reminder of the havoc he’s wrought. This is what he wanted, isn’t it? To hurt her so profoundly that she would finally break free from him. It’s the only way to definitively end their affair, but the realization offers little support amidst the guilt that gnaws at his insides.

“I’m sure she’s fine. Give her a few days to recover,” Javier offers, his tone carefully measured to convey a semblance of concern.

As if on cue, the phone rings, the shrill sound piercing the quiet of the office. Romeo takes it as his cue to leave, offering a nod of acknowledgment to Javier before disappearing back into his own office.

Javier reaches for the receiver, bringing the phone to his ear and he hears the smooth voice of a woman on the other end.

“Agent Peña, this is Dr. Vivianne Serrano. I apologize for calling so late. My last class ran a little late and then I had a meeting with a student afterwards. You’re in Texas so it’s what—almost midnight? Gosh, I feel terrible,” the woman rambles earnestly.

He rubs at his tired eyes, the strain of exhaustion evident in every movement. His jaw clenches as he scratches at his roughening jawline, ready to get this over with. And yet, despite his weariness, the sound of her sweet voice on the other end of the line draws him in, offering a strange sense of comfort amidst the drama. It must be the exhaustion, he tells himself.

“No worries. I’m more interested in what information you can give me— even if I have to stay up late to get it.”

She laughs, the sound light and melodic, and for some inexplicable reason, a small smile quirks at the corners of his lips in response.

“Right—one of the agents faxed me the photo evidence. It’s pretty brutal. I didn’t recognize the marking at first, but I did some digging and that led me to reach out to a colleague in Rome.”

Javier’s brow furrows at the revelation, his interest piqued by the mention of the city overseas. “Rome?”

“Yes, Rome,” she confirms, “I hope you’re sitting down because I have quite a bit of information to relay to you.”

Spurred on by the prospect of finally making some progress, Javier leans forward in his chair, his eyes intent on the empty page of his memo pad as he waits for her to continue.

As her voice fills the line, painting a picture of a dark and sinister history, Javier’s hand moves almost automatically, his pen poised to capture every word she utters.

“L’Ordine di Eurinomo— The Order of Eurynomos, was a sacrilegious group that masked itself as a Catholic convent in Rome during the 70s,” She begins, her tone grave with solemnity. “This group worshiped the mysterious deity Eurynomos, a flesh-eating demon, prophesying the return of their god in human form. Their quest for a suitable vessel led them to seek out a woman of purity and strength, intertwining her fate with their divine ambitions. They believed that the flesh reincarnation of the deity would bring a new age of power and world domination.”

Javier’s pen halts in its tracks, his brows furrowing in disbelief as he processes the fantastical information unfolding before him. It all sounds too surreal to be true, like the plot of some twisted horror movie or fictional novel. He fights the urge to scoff, reminding himself to maintain his professionalism even in the face of such outlandish claims.

“I know. It’s a lot to take in. Believe it or not, it’s not the craziest thing out there,” Dr. Serrano continues, her voice steady despite the incredulity in Javier’s silence. “They searched for this suitor all over the world, inviting devoted women to their convent. When these women failed to give them what they wanted, their prophesied baby, they were killed. It wasn’t until they had a whistleblower that their atrocities were exposed—an anonymous tip that led authorities to the convent and uncovered everything. No identifying names of any members, just files detailing the women they had taken over the years and records of their rituals. The tattooed symbol was their symbol.”

He lets out a heavy sigh, the intensity of the information taking a moment to process. His hand instinctively rises to massage his tense shoulder, fingers digging into the knotted muscles in an attempt to alleviate some of the tension.

“No arrests were ever made, and the case went cold. So many bodies were pulled from the catacombs beneath the church. None of them identified. All women,” She explains, “That’s as far as it all goes. There hasn’t ever been an indication that this group kept operating after... well, not until now. Where did you say you were located?”

“Seminary, Texas,” he replies, the name of the town feeling heavy on his tongue as he considers the implications of Dr. Serrano’s revelations. “You sure this isn’t just some obsessed person who read about this damn group and decided to indulge in the fantasy too?”

“Could be. Isn’t it your job to figure that out?” Dr. Serrano’s response carries a flirtatious undertone, a playful tease that momentarily distracts Javier from the gravity of their conversation. If he hadn’t been so consumed by the web of information and conflicting emotions surrounding a certain someone else, he might have reciprocated the flirtation without hesitation.

“Suppose it is. Thanks for digging around and finding this out for me,” Javier acknowledges with genuine gratitude for the professor’s efforts.

“No problem. It was quite interesting getting this information. I’ll have my colleague in Rome send you all that they have on this. Is there a time limit on this case? I don’t anticipate you receiving the files for a hot minute,” She inquires, her voice carrying a hint of curiosity.

Javier considers her question for a moment, his mind already racing with the possibilities presented by the newfound information. “Not necessarily, but the quicker I figure this shit out, the quicker we can get some answers and bring justice to the victims and their families,” he replies, his determination evident in his tone. He longs to put an end to the suffering and finally bring closure to those affected.

“That’s all that matters. We’ll be in contact, Agent Peña. Again, I apologize for calling so late. Have a great night,” she concludes, her words soft with a sense of finality.

Javier hangs up the phone, the conversation lingering in the air around him. Despite the late hour and the exhaustion hanging over him, there’s a restless energy coursing through him.

As he sits alone in the dimly lit office, his thoughts drift briefly to Dr. Serrano and the fleeting temptation to ask for her personal number. But he quickly dismisses the notion, refocusing his attention on the task at hand. There’s work to be done, and distractions— no matter how enticing— will have to wait.

“You don’t talk much, do you?” Paloma comments as she rides along with Gabriel, the engine of the truck humming steadily beneath them as they make their way to the local convenience store. They’ve been tasked with buying some more beer for the gathering at the creek, and she finds herself curious about her companion.

Gabriel glances at her, his expression unreadable. “Don’t got a lot to say,” he replies simply, his attention returning to the road ahead as he maneuvers the vehicle into a parking spot at the gas station.

She sighs inwardly, feeling a pang of disappointment at the lack of conversation. She had hoped to get to know Gabriel better considering how close he is to both Sloane and August. However, she understands that not everyone is as forthcoming with their friendship as she is.

Exiting the truck, Paloma shields her face from the afternoon sun, the warmth enveloping her like a comforting embrace. Dressed in a tube top and tight shorts, she feels the heat seeping into her skin deliciously, momentarily distracting her from the lingering discomfort of the bite mark. She had fabricated a story about its origins when they picked her up earlier, claiming it was from a hookup with a random guy at the bar.

It’s not entirely a lie, she reflects, knowing that Sloane is the only one to know the truth about the bite’s origin. However, she’s not eager to divulge the details of her… encounter with the deputy sheriff to her new friend group.

As she strolls through the aisles of the small convenience store, Gabriel excuses himself to take a piss, leaving her to browse alone. She runs her fingers over the various snacks and drinks on display, considering her options for something to bring back with her.

The soft chime of the bell above the door draws her attention, signaling the arrival of a new customer. Without looking up, she continues her perusal until she senses a shift in the air—a subtle change that prompts her to glance in the direction of the entrance.

There, standing in the doorway, is Javier Peña, the star of her all her current struggles. Despite her internal turmoil, she can’t help but be drawn in by his presence. His shirt is unbuttoned at the top (like always) revealing a hint of skin adorned with a glinting gold chain. Aviator sunglasses rest effortlessly on the bridge of his nose, his hair is tousled yet impeccably styled, and his choice of jeans and boots only serves to enhance his rugged allure.

She knows what he feels like inside of her. How big he is. How good he can fuck.

Her heart quickens at the sight of him. Despite the anger and resentment she feels towards him, there’s an undeniable attraction that pulses within her. She quickly averts her gaze, hoping to avoid detection.

To no avail since he noticed her the second he stepped in.

Her eyes drift downward, her focus settling on the colorful array of snacks that line the aisle. She tries to steady her breathing, to maintain an air of composure as Javier traverses the aisle opposite hers. Despite their deliberate avoidance of each other’s gaze, the palpable awareness of their proximity remains in the air.

A subtle smirk plays at the corners of Javier’s lips as he observes her. The flimsy top stretches obscenely over the swell of her tits, her nipples stiff due to the chilly air of the store. Though his gaze fixates on the tousled locks cascading over her shoulder, revealing the evidence of when they fucked. The memory paired with this tantalizing visual stir something in his chest, despite his attempts to remain aloof.

“Don’t look very sick to me,” he remarks casually, his voice cutting through the tense silence between them.

Paloma’s eyes shoot up to meet his, a mixture of frustration and defiance flickering in her gaze. She bristles at his audacity, the resentment bubbling beneath the surface threatening to spill over.

Of course her father had told him about her being sick. Of-fucking-course.

“None of your damn business,” she retorts sharply, her words laced with an edge as she maneuvers away from him, putting distance between them.

Javier merely shrugs in response, feigning casual indifference as he continues to peruse the shelves, his nonchalant facade belying the underlying tension that simmers beneath the surface.

“Got your pops stressin’ the hell out at the station over you being a bedridden mess yet here you are… out and barely clothed. S’not enough to distract me from the job so you had to pull a stunt for your father, too. Are you really that desperate for attention?” 

Every fiber of his being screams for him to let go, to relinquish his hold on the frayed threads of their tumultuous relationship and pretend she doesn’t even exist. Yet, the magnetic pull of their shared history, both bitter and sweet, proves to be an irresistible force.

Javier’s words hit with calculated precision, each syllable laden with a mixture of accusation and disdain. Paloma’s jaw clenches in response, a surge of anger coursing through her as she struggles to contain the torrent of emotion that threatens to engulf her.

The audacity of his presumption— that her actions are merely a ploy for attention— stings like a slap to the face. It’s infuriating the way he casually reduces her actions to nothing more than a petty cry for validation.

For a fleeting moment, a pang of concern flits through her mind, a gnawing worry that he might disclose her whereabouts to her father. But the prospect of facing her father’s wrath pales in comparison to the seething resentment she harbors towards Javier.

“Why the hell do you care about what I’m doing?” she fires back, her voice dripping with hostility. “You made it crystal fuckin’ clear where we stand. I want nothin’ to do with you.”

As Gabriel emerges from the bathroom, the tension between them persists. She shoots a pointed glare at Javier before sidling up to the guy she came here with, her movements deliberate as they proceed to gather the items they came here for.

His eyes follow them the entire time, that pesky jealousy rising up his throat like hot bile. It doesn’t help that she’s got on the thinnest pair of shorts, and she’s clearly not wearing underwear as her ass bounces with each step she takes. If she bent over just slightly, he’d be able to see the outline of her cunt.

She’s such a fucking tease— and now she’s out and about with Gabriel? Is August out of the picture too? Had he hurt her the same way Javier had?

Together, Paloma and Gabe make their way to the register, the atmosphere heavy with unspoken animosity. She remains acutely aware of Javier’s presence, the weight of his gaze lingering on her like an oppressive force as they conclude their errand and leave the small store.

She doesn’t even bother looking in his direction again.

As Javier strolls to the counter, the hum of the convenience store provides a backdrop to his turbulent thoughts. His gaze drifts to the window, where her departure sends a pang of longing coursing through him.

The urge to follow her tugs at him, an instinctual reaction fueled by envy and skepticism. But he forces himself to resist, recognizing the folly of succumbing to base impulses driven by sentiments he can scarcely afford to indulge.

His thoughts drift to the enigmatic group of youths led by August. There’s a nagging suspicion that refuses to be ignored, a sense that their presence in Seminary may be more than mere coincidence.

With a determined set to his jaw, Javier resolves to tail August and his cohorts, his instincts sharpened by the unsettling convergence of events. Yet, even as he prepares to pursue this lead, a lingering doubt nags at the edges of his consciousness.

Two things can be completely true yet unrelated at the same time.

Is he allowing his personal biases to cloud his judgment, grasping at straws in a desperate bid for answers? Or is there truly a connection waiting to be uncovered, hidden beneath the surface of the cryptic symbols and stories that haunt his investigation?

He takes his cigarettes from the clerk after paying, stepping outside to make quick use of one. The acrid smoke curls upwards in lazy tendrils and he finds himself grappling with the uncertainty that looms on the horizon. With each step forward, he plunges deeper into the murky depths of the unknown, unsure of what revelations await him in the shadows.

Paloma’s laughter dances through the warm afternoon air, a melody of joy that mingles with the gentle burble of the creek and the distant hum of cicadas. With a mischievous glint in her eye, she creeps up behind August, water sloshing playfully in her hands as she readies herself for the perfect sneak attack.

In one swift motion, she douses him with a cascade of cool water, a triumphant grin spreading across her face as she revels in her victorious prank. But her victory is short-lived as August retaliates with equal fervor, lunging forward to catch her before she can dart away.

Their laughter intertwines, a symphony of shared amusement that echoes off the surrounding trees, punctuated by the playful splashes of their impromptu water fight. The carefree atmosphere of the creek is a sanctuary of youthful exuberance where worries and troubles are cast aside in favor of simple, unadulterated joy.

As August pulls her close, her heart dances with exhilaration, her cheeks flushed with the thrill of their playful antics and she throws her arms around his neck.

“You’ve got the prettiest laugh I’ve ever heard, baby. Can’t get enough of it.”

His words, whispered against her ear, are a sweet melody that sends her heart aflutter, filling her with a warmth that eclipses the summer sun.

“Then don’t stop makin’ me laugh.”

His hands fall on her waist and she craves for him to move lower, to cup her backside in his big hands.

“I won’t. I’m finally free to take you out Friday. Still got time for little ‘ol me or has this bar hookup already swept you off your feet?” August’s playful words carry a hint of teasing as he gazes at her shoulder, his expression inscrutable.

She feels a brief pang of irritation at the mention of Javier (though August doesn’t know), the man who seems to hover over her thoughts like an unwelcome specter. 

As if. He wants nothing to do with me except to chastise me any chance he gets.

“You tell me… whose arms am I in right now?”

His response is a charming smile, loving how she replied. His fingers tighten ever so slightly around her hips as if to reassure himself of her presence. “Friday night I’m taking you out on that date I’ve been promisin’,” he declares with a hint of excitement, his gaze locking with hers.

But her smile wavers at the realization. “I have a show Friday night…” she starts, a note of disappointment creeping into her voice.

August’s response is immediate. “So cancel it,” he suggests, his tone firm yet persuasive, his hands beginning to explore her body in ways that send shivers down her spine.

Paloma’s initial resistance melts away, “First you have me call out of work, now you have me canceling my shows?” she counters with a playful shake of her head, though her heart races at the thought of spending a night with him. “You’re a bad influence, Dixon.”

But August’s response is smooth and reassuring, his voice a seductive murmur that sets her pulse racing. “Oh, don’t be like that, little dove. You perform every weekend. Just take one night off, I promise to make it worth your while,” he murmurs, his hands now moving lower and gripping her ass how she had just been wanting him to.

She lets out a gentle hum, pressing herself closer to him as her eyes darken with lust and intrigue. 

“Mmm okay, I’ll cancel.” Her eyes drop to his lips as the overwhelming urge to kiss him washes over her.

Sensing this, he tilts his head down, brushing his nose against hers. Feeling his warm breath against her skin, she shivers slightly, her heart racing at his proximity. 

“Good girl,” he murmurs, the praise having her pussy clench around nothing, sending a flutter through her chest, and she can’t help but lean into his touch, savoring the tender moment between them.

As he leans in to place a kiss on her cheek, she turns her head, her lips meeting his in their first, official kiss. She melts into the embrace, her senses overwhelmed by the sensation of his lips moving against hers.

Lost in the moment, she revels in the feeling of his fuller lips. She pulls him closer and one of his hands comes up to grope at her breast, her sensitive nipples reacting to his touch.

“Hey lovebirds, get a room!” Their moment of intimacy is interrupted by a raucous call from nearby, accompanied by laughter and crude remarks. Blushing furiously, she pulls away, her cheeks flushed with embarrassment.

“Sorry, got lost in the moment,” she mumbles, feeling a rush of self-consciousness.

“Don’t apologize, darlin’,” August reassures her, his voice warm and affectionate. “I’ve been wanting to do that for a while now.” With a gentle squeeze of her backside, he pulls back and takes her hand, leading her towards the deeper side of the creek.

As they wade through the cool water together, Paloma can’t help but feel a sense of excitement. She knows that this date with August is just the beginning of something special.

[neufer]

No one asked for this, but I wanted to go through my outsiders playlist and talk about my thought process behind each song. I love making playlists for characters and stories and think making the connections between them and the songs is very fun. If anything this is just for me to have my thoughts actually articulated and written down, but I figured someone else might enjoy it too.

Here is the playlist I’m talking about.

Okay so the first two songs are obviously from the movie and are there just to set the tone.

This next group of songs is all about being a greaser. Sort of wild and crazy because of the circumstances. Specific lyrics that demonstrate this: “I used to be such a sweet sweet thing ‘til they got a hold of me” (No More Mr. Nice Guy) and both choruses of Ain’t No Rest for the Wicked and Youth Gone Wild. The others songs are based mostly off of vibes, and I saw a post on here one time headcanoning some of the gang jamming out to Respect, and it’s like, yes give them their respect.

This group of songs is similar but it gets a little more deep and specific to certain characters. I really love Ethel Cain so I wanted to include American Teenager partly because of that. It might be a reach but I think “a long cold war with your kids at the front” is pretty outsiders coded, same with “it’s just not my year” and the whole second verse. The lines about being wasted and handling liquor remind me of Two-Bit, and the mention of Jesus reminds me of Ponyboy and Johnny. Patches by Clarence Carter is a new addition and it gives me Darry having to take over vibes. Point of Know Return for me is Ponyboy wanting to get out of Tulsa, kind of like, how long until he reaches the point where he can’t stand not to leave, until the point of no return? The lines “Your father, he said he needs you. Your mother, she said she loves you. Your brothers, they echo your words,” are also very Curtis bros coded. Standing Outside The Fire and The Poet are both very Ponyboy, specifically his passion and heightened sense of emotion and him being that way in the rough neighborhood he grew up in. I guess you could say those two songs also apply to Sodapop, and Standing Outside The Fire is also very greaser vs soc.

These two songs are about Cherry and Bob. Specifically about his drinking and other wild habits and how she knows they maybe aren’t the best for each other. “Them boys are out and they’re angry and they’re lookin’ for blood” in Oklahoma Smokeshow is also SO soc coded it’s crazy. I’m pretty sure I saw a post on here about that song relating to the outsiders so that kind of gave me the idea.

Class of 2013 is Johnny Cade, simple as that. I also think “you have so much to do and I have nothing ahead of me” in Your Best American Girl is kind of Johnny to Pony/the rest of the gang, but I also saw an edit to this song where it was Darry to Ponyboy, and that is so valid as well. And, if you’re a Darry/Paul truther, it’s also Darry to Paul (the rest of the song too, not just that one lyric). Now Runs in the Family is kind of hit or miss. Like the song in the musical, it talks about being doomed from the beginning, but I see it more as Ponyboy’s tendency to overthink and his breakdown at the end of the story. Also not being able to run from his family. There’s some more in the lyrics about the family kind of exploiting the person whose pov is the pov the song is from, and I don’t think that relates to the outsiders in any way.

This is where it starts to get serious. Obviously we have two songs from the musical. They, and another one that comes later, are in my opinion the ones that sum up the themes of the outsiders perfectly, so I wanted to include them. Fly To The Angels is about Johnny’s death and the other characters having to let him go, specifically “heaven awaits your heart and flowers bloom in your name.” Mama I’m Coming Home is about Dally’s death. I’ve been thinking of it as Dally’s pov, and while it may not work perfectly, I think it still works. Specifically, “times have changed and times are strange, here I come but I ain’t the same.” I also really like “lost and found and turned around by the fire in your eyes” but I don’t really know who that would be about from Dally’s pov. Maybe Johnny?

These next four songs are all Ponyboy mourning Johnny and Dally and longing for them to still be alive. Tuesday’s Gone is a bonus because it talks about a train and the phrase “gone with the wind.” I saw an edit of the three of them to Crab, so that’s where I got the idea for that. There’s nothing in particular about Comin’ Home, just a vibe. Copperline is all about a sense of nostalgia for a place/time you can’t go back to and if that’s not perfect idk what is. The line that does it for me the most is “I tried to go back as if I could, all spec house and plywood. Tore up and tore up good, down on copperline.”

Then these last three songs are obviously the epitome of Johnny’s message about staying gold. Stevie Wonder’s Stay Gold from the movie is a little less optimistic than the one from the musical, but I think it still fits well here at the end. Fooling Yourself (The Angry Young Man) is actually very similar to Stay Gold from the musical in that it’s about having a better outlook (“you’re the one they can’t beat and you know it”, “just take your best shot and don’t blow it”). Obviously it applies to Ponyboy but I also think it could apply to Darry as well. And then of course Stay Gold from the musical. It’s tied with Throwing in the Towel as my favorite from the soundtrack so I would have included it no matter what, but what else would I have ended on? To me, Stay Gold perfectly encapsulates one of the main messages of the whole story. It’s the biggest message that I’ve taken from my recently renewed interest in the outsiders, so it only made sense to end with it.

If you made it this far or skimmed this far, thank you! I hope you enjoyed reading and hearing my thoughts.

[fumifooms]

oh, sorry for so many asks, i also wanted to say too though i really agree so much with your chilchuck thoughts so far, even down to your personal headcanons about how things might go post-series. and you're absolutely right, i'll defend that little guy any day myself. you understand him so well and it's kind of relaxing to have someone else dish out this kind of analysis and already agree with all of it cus it's just so real, so thank you again for the Meal <- perhaps the perfect thing to say about dungeon meshi analysis when i think about it

i know you have playlists and stuff so i wanted to share a song i've been listening to that that reminds me of him: divine loser by clem turner

No worries, they’ve been a lot of fun! I do plan on getting back to each one btw, just gotta get through some other things first hopefully. Aaaah that’s really nice to hear 🥺 I do know the feeling haha, it’s always fun to have posts that Get It that you just nod along with 🤝 I’ve thought sooo much about Chilchuck I rotate him in my brain like rotisserie chicken more often than not, glad it all ended up being productive haha. Y’know recently my friends have been calling me a Chilchuck superfan/scholar jokingly and it actually made me have a realization moment of…

Bc I’ve always said Laios was my fave and like, he does mean everything to me idk if I’ve ever felt so seen as with Laios, I relate to him sooo much, but then. Okay alright that can be a different thing than a character being your favorite fine FINE I admit it Chilchuck’s my top blorbo. He’s so.🧍‍♂️I can’t even describe. He’s so….. He’s a clown but he’s also perfection in its best imperfect form I will not be taking further questions today. My friend called him my silly rabbit like that one meme and it makes me laugh sm

Thank you for the music rec!! I listened to it and yes agreed, sent straight to my Chil playlist. Songs are my bread and butter when I have character brainrot bc like with web weavings I feel like there are so many emotions and thoughts you can communicate about something so simply through one… (Which for anyone interested here’s my web weaving tag, got 2 about Chil). Gonna link all my dunmeshi playlists while I’m here: Dungeon Meshi, Chilchuck & his wife, marchil, Mithrun.

Ok everyone saw this coming but this ask ran away from me and I ramble about some song lyrics I associate with Chil & different facets of his life below the cut. Some people find my, ehem, heated rambles about Chil entertaining, this is your cue to get out the popcorn.

When thinking about songs for Chil I have 3 angles I take: About Chilchuck, about him and his wife, or about him & Marcille. Marchil is so engraved into me with their arcs together, that they’re like the concept of closure and letting go and letting yourself live again to me, sorry for all the non-enjoyers… But his dynamic with Marcille is a large part of his character arc so still fits, rock on.

I think currently my top song for him is Jackrabbit by San Fermin, because it combines all three it makes me go wild. It’s about trepidation… Throwing yourself into it even despite the fear (working with traps, survival in poverty where you have to rush & hustle), or just staying there paralyzed(not reaching out to his wife). Flight or freeze!! Saying goodbyes and saying hellos!! Not dying alone!! The life cycle of a wild rabbit living and dying, the baton pass race of life from generation to generation!! Chil and his daughters even!!! Going through life at a frenzied pace!! It is so Chilchuck and so marchil, and the music does give that hurried and scared energy to me too, and sigh the Marcille side to it with fear of death too…

Extra fun context but the other day on the discord server we were talking about what animal each character’s fursona would be as we do and I thought of a rabbit for Chilchuck: Quick footed, ‘cowardly’, small and frail and seen as weak 🙃, athletic and slender, pulls stunts, stressed out, has very fine hearing and has good instincts, etc. And ofc that fits really well with Marcille since she’s kinda associated with dungeon rabbits hehe~ But I think while Marcille’s 100% the cute round rabbit Chil’s more like a brown hare, more wild and like, more like a jackalope if we’re still doing monsters... I do lowkey find it more fun than his associated monster being mimics because he’s crabby, because they’re clever (with where they place themselves) and because of how he has a soft shell but soft insides, lol.

OKAY so that’s my song pick with the main 3 facets sure, now I’ll share some lyrics for each 3 sides separatedly 😈 Kinda summarizing my web weavings for him thus far. If we start with Chilchuck by himself we have… Enter One by Shelby Merry and Drunk by The Living Tombstone

With his wife, we have the bad end, and the good end for if they get back together with Lost Kitten by Metric and North by Sleeping At Last… Okay okay plus Love Like Ghosts and My Heart is Buried in Venice… Little Soldier by The Crane Wives for them also RUIN me

And Marchil… Marchil oh my beloved. Another buddy also made a full analysis on discord about Soap by The Oh Hellos for them lol, but these are Not I by I Fight Dragons and My Heart is Buried in Venice again~

Okay okay two more. Boats & Birds by Gregory and The Hawk, and Tummy by Tamino.

Finishing it up with quotes from, in order, A Softer World by Joey Comeau, Crime and Punishment by Fyodor Dostoevsky, Acknowledgements by Danez Smith, The Letter by Richard Paul Evans, and last but not least posts from dead tumblr account flintcoded. I keep looking around and finding MORE fitting quotes. Someone stop me- In loving me you hold a knife at my throat, in loving you I tell you exactly where to cut. Forgive me, memory is a rope around my neck. I need you to be happy, I need one of us to be happy.

Hand in unlovable hand…

In conclusion;