#and she never got to see them
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i haven't cried since saturday but a lot of little things have made me misty-eyed. like our birthdays are in a month and a half; ever since my parents moved out her and pa's house she gave us phone calls on our birthdays. and for the first time in my life i'm not gonna hear her voice on my birthday
#and im making a shawl for her to be cremated in#but 1) she's the one who taught me fo knit when i was 14/15 and gave me a big dufflebag#of a bunch of her old needles and yarn. i still use them all the time#2) HER birthday was in april and i was already planning on making the shawl as a birthday gift#i even ordered special yarn for it!#3) in my over 10 years of knitting ive only finished like. 3 projects and they were all scarves#and she never got to see them#i hate that she never got to see the fruits of what she taught me#i think she'd be proud. and i hope she enjoys her birthday present#mom said she'd love whatever i made her even if i used the scratchiest acrylic yarn in the ugliest colors#and that's homestly true she'd be so earnestly flattered and overjoyed to receive a handmade gift#especially smth made in a skill she taught me#i just wish she actually got to see it#mickey.txt
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I know those eyes.
[First]Ā PrevĀ <ā-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#wen qing#wen ning#Sibling similarity but you only see it when you realize they have the same soggy eyes.#These two always struck me as a bit of a play on Jiang Cheng and Jiang Yanli for 'siblings who contrast each other.#But after spending a lot more time marinating on Wen Ning I actually think they are way more similar that is initially apparent.#Sure their surface level personality traits are pretty contrastive. But they both are so willing to risk their lives for what's right#Who raised them? In a story so full of examples of how parents shape their children - why are these two lacking in parents?#I imagine that Wen Qing is the older sibling and so her morals of 'help those who need it no matter who they are' got passed a long.#But how did *she* arrive there? Was that instilled within her or was it a reaction against bearing witness to callousness and cruelty?#We'll never know..the only thing I can say for certain is Wen Qing is *so* soggy in the audio drama.#She's like the ant with the bindle. It's a hell of a way to bring a previously sharp tongued character back into the narritive.#Side note: Thank you all for being so patient and kind while I took my break!#It's been a very chaotic few weeks and I didn't realize how bad my burnout was getting. I'm back and ready to keep drawing again!
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This bit from Jaiden's Miku video reminds me of an old conversation (and a funny / sweet moment) she had with Roier and Mariana on QSMP.
[ Full Clip + Transcript ]
#Jaiden Animations#Roier#Mariana#ElMariana#QSMP#April 19 2023#Edited#I meant to do this when she posted the video but I forgot#I love how she sounds like she's getting a bit shy / sheepish when she says ''Yeah...''#and then they all sing together :')#Crying sobbing throwing up I FRICKIN MISS THEM#It was SO sweet seeing her getting closer with folks#and seeing Jaiden and Roier become friends#I also love how Bobby's bouncing (almost) perfectly in sync with the beat there for a bit#Subtitles#EDIT: JUST REALIZED THIS NEVER GOT POSTED. FRICK#IT'S BEEN ALMOST A WEEK#Anyways I thought Roier and Mariana were absolute sweethearts for that#and DANG Mariana killed it with that beatboxing#Jaiden#Portfolio
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THEY TOOK VOLTRON OFF NETFLIX.
#i binged the whole show in 3 days and sobbed when i finished it#the ending is sad as it is wdym i wont be able to watch it ever without pirating it#you guys are gonna listen to me talk about this show whether you like it or not#jk you can skip all this im just reminiscing#im an og voltron fan and started watching it in 2016 and it consumed my life until 2019#i remember watching season 8 for the first time and it was an experience#me & my friend had a sleepover and bought snacks and ordered pizza and watched season 8 and both cried at the end#rewatching season 8 i tried seeing it from another perspective bc i didnt like it much but after the 1st ep i remembered how awful it was#fav honorable moments tho:#the part when they go to the ship graveyard and the galra beast attacks the warlord and keith. SEASON 5 FINALE MENTIONED#pidgeās connection to the olkari.#WHEN THEY GO TO THE VOLCANO PLANET HELLO NO ARMOR#the vlog episode is so silly + clear day#keithās beautiful smile in that one scene in the astral plane i will NEVER forget.#the original paladins i sobbed#THE ENDING WHEN ALLURA SORTA DIES HELL NAH HHELLNAH HELL NAH#the ending overall when the lions leave IM IN TATTERS#i would definitely accept lance and allura being together if there was more chemistry and not out of nowhere#also if allura actually showed she loved lance when they got together and if they didnt make lanceās love for her his whole personality#lance and keith getting closer and possibly getting together post s8 >> but thats just my klance showing#i need lanceās mom and krolia plotting to get them together and then realizing axca and veronica got a thing#voltron#voltron fanart#voltron legendary defender#keith kogane#hunk garrett#lance mcclain#pidge holt#breeart#dec. 24
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god i love skk sm i wish gay ppl were real :(
#LOTUS DRAWING ACTUAL POSES AND NOT JUST BUSTS??? WOAH#i swear i actually know anatomy and stuff i just never draw it bc it's too much effort#going to bed <<<<< staying up until two thirty to draw your otp#ALSO.. for those of you who know i'm rewatching bsd w my friend whose never seen it before.. we finally got to ep9#and she IMMEDIATELY clocked in on skk's toxic exes energyšš#also she calls chuuya childe bc hes a ginger and his first reaction to seeing dazai was āfight me >:)ā#she was like āomgg..hes part of the evil organizationš¤ and has beef w the protag (he wants to fuck themš) *giggles* wait. TARTAGLIAšØšØā¼ļøā#I WAS TRYING SO HARD NOT TO SCREAM.. I COULDNT LET HER KNOW HOW DISTRAUGHT I WAS HEARING THAT FOR THE TENTH TIME#anyway we finished s1 and chuuya's her fav character so far let's see if she can learn his actual name and stop calling him childešš#bungou stray dogs#bungo stray dogs#bsd#dazai osamu#osamu dazai#chuuya nakahara#nakahara chuuya#soukoku#skk#lotus draws
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Steddie Week 2024
July 6th Prompt: Dizzy
Day 1 | Day 2 | Day 3 | Day 4 | Day 5 | Day 7
@steddie-week
Steve stands up, and thatās where it all goes wrong.
His intent was to grab more drinks from the fridge, but when he stood, he blinked a few times. āWhoa,ā he murmurs.
āSteve?ā Robin asks. She sounds like sheās at the end of a long tunnel.
āSteve?ā Eddie asks. He sounds closer, but not as close as he should.
āāM fine,ā he says, ājusā dizzy.ā
Then heās waking up in the hospital. āWhat,ā he asks, then doesnāt complete the thought because Robin and Eddie are both standing over him, one on each side, holding each of his hands, and heād feel so much love if he could feel anything besides general panic because- āI canāt hear you,ā he says, breathing picking up. āI canāt- please, I- I need-ā
Eddie shuts up, staring at him with wide eyes, and after a second of hesitation, places Steveās hand, palm down, on his chest. He takes deep, purposeful breaths, and Steve can feel his hand moving, feel the breaths, feel his heartbeat-
He takes a breath. Another. Another. By that time, Nancy had gotten a doctor.
Later, heāll learn this is something theyād been watching for, but couldnāt be sure of until he woke up. Later, heāll learn that Eddie lays awake at night, sometimes, hearing the sound Robin makes.
All he knows right now is how to keep breathing, how to keep holding Robinās hand, how to believe heāll be okay, because he has to.
He has to.
He stays with Eddie upon his release, because theyāre together most days anyways, and itās a certain kind of torture on Steveās heart because Eddieās started carrying around a notebook and a pen just to write to Steve whatever he was gonna say, and Steve doesnāt think he could love another person more than he did, but hereās the proof, apparently.
Theyāre sharing a bed, because Wayne had previously called their couch āolder than Jesus,ā and Steve lasted for all of an hour on it before slipping into Eddieās room.
The good thing about sharing a room is it helps curb the nightmares for a time.
Eventually, though, they come back with a vengeance.
Steveās laying in bed, like he does every night, when he rolls over to face Eddie. āEddie?ā He asks. Eddieās always last to sleep, so Steveās not hesitant about asking, except Eddie doesnāt answer.
āEddie?ā He asks again, jostling Eddieās shoulder a bit.
Suddenly he shoots up in the air, and Steve bites back a yell.
Suddenly thereās a voice that sounds like itās coming from everywhere and nowhere, reverberating off the corners of the room, echoing louder and louder. You took everything from me. Eddieās arms snap, and Steve yells, scrambles up, music, except whatās his favorite songāthat puppet one, metal, come on brain, thinkābut thereās nothing here but country, bluegrass, stuff Wayne likes, and Steve turns to watch the blood drain from Eddieās face as another gristly crunch echoes, louder than anything so far. So Iāll take everything from you!
Something reaches out for him, grabs his shoulder, and he yells, twists around, pushes away, hard enough he falls on the ground. He opens his eyes to see Eddie on his bed, Steve sitting just off it, eyes wide and hand reaching to help, stalled halfway. Illuminated by the lamp, too, which wasnāt on half a second ago.
Steve blinks at him, looks at the room. No floating Eddie in the middle of it.
āDream?ā He asks. Eddie nods. He stifles the sob and practically launches himself onto the bed, into Eddieās arms, lets himself shake apart because he can.
Eventually he feels reverberating in Eddieās chest that he knows means words, means speaking, so he looks up at Eddie, whoās looking at the door.
He turns to look, too, and sees Wayne. āS-sorry,ā he tries, still sniffling.
Wayne shakes his head at him, walks into the room, sits on the edge of the bed. Offers his arms out in a hug.
Steve thought he was done crying. Trust Wayne to prove him wrong, because heās tearing up all over again as he leans into Wayne.
His new position means he can see Eddie, who points at him, makes a talking motion with his hand, then points at himself and Wayne. Steve frowns. āYouā¦ want me to tell you?ā
Eddie points at Steve again, insistently, and Steve understands: your choice.
āI can,ā he agrees. āWe were in bed and I was tryināa talk to you, but you didnāt answer, and I kept trying to get your attention, but suddenly you- you were up in the air, and your arms and legs broke, and a voiceāit was Vecna, I didnāt recognize it in the dreamāsaid Iād taken everything from him so he was gonna take everything from me. And I was trying to find music, but I couldnāt remember the name of your favorite song, and the only stuff in here was Wayneās stuff, country and bluegrass and stuff like that, andā¦ā he sighs out a broken sob. āI couldnāt save you.ā
Eddie reaches for his hand, but suddenly thatās not enough, he needs to be able to feel his heartbeat, have his breathing move Steveās hand, so he tips over into Eddie again, gets his hand on his chest and his face in the side of his neck.
Eddie says something, but before Steve can move Wayneās got a comforting hand on his back. He removes it after a minute, and Steve can feel the shift in the bed of him getting up, but before he can mourn the loss, Eddieās got his arms wrapped around Steve as he carefully lowers them back down. He rubs a hand up and down Steveās spine, slips the other into Steveās hair.
Steve falls asleep like that.
He wakes up in almost the same position. He tries to apologize, but Eddie waves him off, hands him some clothes and points to the bathroom before pointing to himself and miming cooking.
Steveās heart clenches at the thought. āOkay,ā he whispers.
Robin comes over later, and they sit on the front steps as he recounts what had happened. āHeās just so sweet,ā he sighs. āAnd Iām an idiot whoās letting my heart get involved.ā
Robin wraps an arm around his shoulders and kisses his temple. It doesnāt help as much as heād hoped it would, but he appreciates the gesture anyways.
Later she leaves, and Eddie pulls out his dedicated Steve Notebook.
Iāve got a friend in Indy who knows sign language. I could give her a call, if you want? He writes, and again Steveās all but overcome with love for this man.
Instead of anything he wants to do, he just nods. Eddie grins and hops up to use the phone.
Heās back in a couple of minutes, collapses onto the couch with the notebook before furiously scribbling and handing it to Steve.
I spoke to my friend. She says sorry and it sucks, first of all. Steve snorts and nods. Sheās willing to talk to you, get you started, maybe even get you some books. Does tomorrow work?
Steve gapes up at Eddie. āTomorrow?ā
Eddie nods and grins, then points at Steve in a gesture Steve knows has come to mean you decide.
āThat would be great,ā he says. āSeriously, I- thank you, Eddie.ā
Eddie waves him off, but Steve can see the happy little blush on his cheeks.
They head out the next day. Itās probably twenty minutes into the drive, and even with Eddie sitting next to him in the driverās seat, it feels lonely. He never realized how much heād miss the sound of tires on asphalt. He wasnāt ever truly into music, like Eddie is, but he misses the radio. He misses the wind rushing past, the silence thatās possible to share when both people can hear-
He doesnāt realize heās crying until Eddieās pulled over, a hand on his cheek and a concerned expression on his face. āSorry,ā he tries. Eddie shakes his head, presses his palm more firmly to Steveās cheek. āFuck,ā he mutters. āāS stupid. Justā¦ felt alone. I dunno. Thereās, like, a million little things you hear every day that you donāt think about, like the way your hands tap the steering wheel when you turn, or the way your clothes shift and rub against each other, and itās all silent now, and thereās not even music, and-ā he takes a deep, shaky breath. Lets it out as evenly as he can. āI justā¦ felt really alone all of a sudden.ā
Eddie brushes his thumb along Steveās cheekbone as he thinks. Suddenly, he grins and moves his hand, shoving a tape into the deck and cranking the sound. He demonstratively puts his hand on the door. Steve laughs and does the same, gasping when he feels the vibrations of the song move through him. He canāt tell notes, but itās something, and then Eddie carefully reaches for his hand, keeps his grip relaxed until Steve smiles at him and tightens his own fingers around Eddieās. āThank you,ā he whispers.
Eddie smiles, nods, and gets back on the road.
They arrive at his friendās apartment in no time, and Steve would be jealous at the length of the hug if Eddie didnāt immediately step back to grab Steveās hand again. Based on his hand motions, heās introducing Steve.
She asks Eddie something, and he turns bright red, pulling a strand of hair across his face as he glances at Steve before looking back at her and answering.
She invites them in, scribbles on a little chalkboard, and hands it to Steve with a smile. Hi, Steve! My name is Nicole. Itās nice to meet you.
He grins up at her. āItās nice to meet you, too.ā
She takes the chalkboard back, scribbles something else. Eddie tells me you recently lost your hearing. Do you mind me asking about that?
āNot at all,ā Steve says, then frowns, somehow just now realizing he doesnāt know the full extent of what happened. āHonestly, all I know is I stood up and got really dizzy, and then I was waking up in the hospital.ā He shrugs. āIāve had a couple of pretty bad concussions, and I guess whatever made me pass out also justā¦ took my hearing.ā He shrugs.
Eddie shakes his head, grabs for the chalkboard. Almost. He bites his lip. You passed out, and I wasnāt fast enough. You hit your head on the floor. He looks away, takes a deep breath. Iām sorry.
āThat is not your fault, Eds,ā Steve tells him firmly. Eddie wonāt look him in the eyes, so Steve grabs his chin. āHey, look at me. Not your fault. I donāt blame you. Okay?ā
Eddie shrugs, pointing to himself with a self-deprecating smile, and Steve knows what heās trying to say. I do.
āWell I donāt,ā Steve says. āBut if- if you need to hear it. I forgive you, okay?ā
Eddie nods, eyes big and wet, and Steve pulls him into a hug.
Eddie suddenly laughs, pulling away to wipe his eyes before saying something to Nicole.
Right. Theyāre not alone. āSorry,ā he tells her, but she waves him off, handing over the chalkboard again. I think weāll start on the alphabet today. That way you can at least finger spell what you need, even if itās slow.
āSounds good,ā he says, and she nods, talking the chalkboard to write the alphabet.
Slowly but surely, she teaches Steve and Eddie the alphabet. They get a little tripped up on some of the letters, most noticeably p and q, until Nicole takes pity on them and makes a p. She uses her other hand to draw a line down both her extended fingers, then tracing her own legs. She taps her thumb, peeking out between the two, and with a mischievous grin, points between Steve and Eddieās legs.
They share a look and burst out laughing, but they donāt forget those letters again.
By the end of the day, theyāve gotten through the alphabet with enough regularity that Nicole feels they can practice on each other.
Steve pauses before they leave. T-h-a-n-k, then a pause, then y-o-u.
Nicole smiles, presses her fingertips to her lips, then brings her hand down to chest height, palm up. She does the motion again, and Steve copies her, grinning when she nods excitedly.
āThank you,ā he signs and says, grinning even wider when she pulls him into a quick hug before waving at him and Eddie.
They wave back and pile into the van, Steveās hand in Eddieās before Steve can practically blink. He smiles, unbearably fond, and squeezes to get his attention before signing, āThank you.ā
Eddie just smiles back, throws the van into reverse, and starts home.Ā
They practice more while they make dinner, throwing words like spatula and stir and chop around, and Steve didnāt realize learning could be this fun.
Heās watching Eddie stir the broth, hips moving in a little dance to a song only Eddie knows, and his heart is so full, he has to say something before his heart bursts. āIām gonna say something thatās gonna sound incredibly sappy,ā he says. āBut justā¦ please just listen until the end? And try not to tease me too much.ā
Eddie just smiles, grabs his hand and squeezes, and Steve takes a breath before starting.
āIām glad itās you. Iām glad you were there that day, Iām glad you were there when I woke up at the hospital, Iām glad you were there when I realized going home meant being completely alone. Iām glad you made a complete fool of yourself in the hospital lobby, doing charades to let me know I could stay here.ā He takes a breath. āIām glad you have Nicole, because it lets me talk with you easier. Iām glad you never once let me feel like Iām alone, or like Iām going through this alone. Iām glad youāre learning with me. Iām glad youāre making this fun. I didnāt know learning could be fun, but it is with you, and I-ā he takes a breath, swallows the three words that want to come out. āIām glad itās you,ā Steve whispers, āhere, at the end of all things.ā
He doesnāt realize heās crying until Eddieās hands are cradling his cheeks, wiping away tears. Eddieās just as teary-eyed, though, and he pulls away, looking for the notebook. Please donāt punch me.
Steve looks up, brows furrowed, to watch Eddie spell something. I l-o-v-
Thatās as far as he gets before Steve gasps, understanding, or hoping he understands, and pulls Eddie into a kiss.
He pulls back almost immediately to check thatās correct, that that is what Eddie was trying to say, when Eddie pulls him back in, dinner be damned, crowding him in against the counter and doing his best to lick into Steveās mouth.
Steve lets him, pulling away for a sharp inhale before diving right back in, fingers tight in Eddieās hair and the back of his shirt, and thereās a sudden vibration that he just knows means Eddie moans, and suddenly heās dizzy again, but this time he welcomes it, because this time heās not passing out; this time, heās dizzy because heās drunk on love.
#steddieweek2024#steddieweek#stranger things#steve harrington#eddie munson#steddie#robin buckley#platonic stobin#Nancy wheeler#Though she was mostly just mentioned#deaf steve harrington#Iām actually VERY excited about this one :)#I started something like this a while ago but never got to complete it#This is my Redemption#starambles#This story is brought to you by me at all of 5 years old seeing people in a Cracker Barrel signing#And I knew my letters#And I SO confidently marched up to them and finger-spelled my name#Whereād that kid go. I want to be her again#Also brought to you by my time#(more recently)#At a Starbucks and I was able to order COMPLETELY in sign instead of using the pad the hoh barista had#I mean. I was just getting a water. But STILL#I did it! š
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Forneus should bench-press Narinder
Vessel #7 was an interesting disciple. She came in with a strong sense of justice and a desire to help, yet in the same vein could be overtly informal and overzealous-namely in her over-confidence in flirting with anyone, from her cultists to enemies to Death himself. Despite his lack of interest and repeated attempts at telling her to cease fooling around, she continued taunting him till the day she abdicated the crown.
She got under his skin in a way others hadn't, and while at the time he'd loathed it, once she was gone, he found himself missing her sound. Her deaths were rare as was her company, but even so, most vessels didn't bother trying to converse as much as she did, and while he could've done without the flirts, it was almost enjoyable at times, when she dropped the flirting that is.
#idk why but I kinda like treating Vessel Forneus akin to a college party-girl type-like the extrovert who tries messing with the introvert#in an attempt to get them to have fun. She did think him attractive back then but mainly wanted to see what hid under the ice#She never quite got him to drop his walls like she'd hoped but at least he proved fun to mess with#had she tried being more genuine they might've become akin friends#cotl#my art#cult of the lamb#cotl fanart#sketch#crimson angel au#ask#cotl forneus#cotl narinder#crimson angel au art#crimson bagel
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So does he, Gallagher.
#honkai star rail#hsr blade#gallagher#i based this off of how many times i used funny soda man to help be a healer with his poppin soda pop in SU#and then blade constantly just being blade as usual#its normally him saying unnecessary to my actual healer but#i kept forgetting gallagher heals and i kept healing when i didnt even need to so TECHNICALLY yeah it was unnecessary#but the amount of times blade was the recipient......#i cant use like most of my newer units in story bc i cant ascend or i run out of leveling mats so i just#get them and toss them into simulated universe for funsies cause i can match their levels better#so thats where i tossed gallagher and he is genuinely fun to play as ? like i love his punches and kicks to start the battle#funny soda man is funny (to me) and im really behind in plot still#but last time i tried to play it on my laptop and got a kickass cutscene my laptop lagged and i couldnt even see it RIP to me#so now that its like ... me trying to play it on desktop ?#i mostly get on desktop for comms and if i do much else i feel like im slacking off even if i would take a break anyway#one day i can play more story plot stuff and actually meet the funny guys#also in case you know me for Not Having Boys in HSR i need to point out#i did pull Gallagher however same 10 pull got a 4 star girl copy for someone i never use and she is at e4 now cool#and i didnt even think of the irony as i started this i just like drawing blade and i wanted to draw gallagher#so when i already had the dialogue planned and am drawing i was like OH WAIT haha im funnier than i thought#(no i am not but we can pretend)
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Thereās something so poetic and heartbreaking about Mary not wanting to hurt her mother. Itās not out of pity or wanting to ease the strain of the divorce itās just purely a daughterās love for her mother whoās always been there. Her mother who has never tried to make Mary feel outcasted or othered or unloved.
Even when Mary KNOWS that something is wrong in her bones, she cannot force herself to do anything but trail after her mother and try and make her proud even if what sheās doing could get her hurt. She loves her mom. And it sucks that the last she saw of her was her mother trying to kill her.
Mary, you will always be famous, my little dart frog
#something about Amanda constantly making these characters who love their parents to the point where it endangers them is so heartbreaking#Mary and Gracie wanted nothing but for their parents to love them and be okay#each of their journies was JUST trying to make sure their friends and parents were okay#and both of them had to leave them behind#Mary didnāt even get to see her parents one last time. Tampa at least got a hug.#Maryās mom was gone from the minute she took that shower and we saw the goo.#shit we never even saw her Dad#rip to mary. in another life your parents wouldāve gotten back together baby#smosh dread#smosh vs zombies#smosh games#smoshblr#smosh vs aliens#Mary Smosh vs aliens#amanda lehan canto#Amanda Smosh#angela giarratana#chanse mccrary#courtney miller#smosh ttrpg#ttrpg#Smosh angst#Tampa Smosh vs aliens#smosh#Mackenzie Smosh vs aliens#Tabitha Smosh vs aliens#smosh dread season 2#dread ttrpg#fandom posts
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i thought we were gonna kiss up here are you still not over your dead girlfriend
#the walking dead game#twdg#violentine#clementine twdg#violet twdg#theres no casual explanation for clems reaction to that why did she look so upset#wide eyed middle distance stare brows drawn mouth open girl please relax#if your friend was wistfully thinking of their dead gf why would you be upset by that š¤Ø hmm interesting#part of violets route will be about how she feels she failed minnie and so refuses to fail clementine and continuously makes that choice#and i still have to hear people yap about how she never got over minnie bro i swear some people are playing with their eyes and ears closed#i think her complicated relationship with her not dead not ex is fun and interesting actually and she tells clem not to worry Immediately#i just like poking fun at my girl for being a little jealous š this and the way she looks at them hugging in the woods. i know what you are#her immediate reaction to seeing the v+m heart is also questionable girl why are you making those faces#spaced art 2024
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oh another youtuber who makes frat boy comedy has been accused of assaulting women in some way? how absolutely shocking.
#i said this when it happened with david dobrik and iām gonna say it now#i genuienly always got weird frat boy energy from both of them#and thus never liked their content#sad to see my instincts might be correct#also if ppl come in here slutshaming tana or being misogynistic or saying she deserved it#rethink why youāre doing that.#ppl saying: oh heās not like that! youāve never met him. heās a youtube personality u donāt actually know him#why do ppl wanna protect their favorite white boy so bad#cody ko#youtube drama#tana mongeau#commentary#commentary channel#youtube#david dobrik#commentary youtube
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"Jason was the happy robin" this, "jason was the angry robin" that. Let's all be fully honest here Jason was the lonely robin
#It gets worse the more i think about it aiguaoughhh#they pretty much retconned the people he was close to before the crisis. he only interacts with dick like once or twice#ive never seen him with barbara#he had no team#in terms of school he had rena(?) and then 3 friends that show up in an annual and never again#and obviously with the whole secret identity it hardly can be a close friendship. esp with how little theyre shown#in terms of super friends he had Danny and Kid Devil. which. one is mentioned off hand and theyre never seen together#and the other is from a short story and never brought up again#alfred has his praises sung but we never really see him connect with jay#all he had was BRUCE. and the only way to ever be with bruce is to be robin#is it really any wonder he chased after his mother? is it any wonder who chose to trust someone he hardly knew?#dc liveblog#jason todd#i feel so bad for him all the time for forever#ive just started reading comics after his death but before his resurrection. the hallucination jason era#and its seems to be shaping up to be with him written as the angry robin who never listened#which i Know is because of the writers. but in universe? it just feels like jason wasnt understood or known at all#doylist vs watsonian moment as they say#dc comics#batman comics#and he became a symbol of failure to batman So Quickly. not a memory but a reminder#and every trophy from his time as robin was taken out of the batcave. and every moment as jason was removed from (at least) bruces room#he was on call/on a list as a backup titan if they needed help but he wasnt With them. they teamed up twice#i cant remember if he meant it towards blood specifically or in general rn but he fully admitted to not being good/experienced enough#they didn't really know him and he didn't really know them#wait fuck was rena all pre-crisis. devastating. he stopped going on patrols n being robin for awhile when she was his gf#of course by then he was already A Hero who cant fully ignore how he can help so he eventually was like yeah we should stop a little#obviously there was that catwoman arc going on and i feel writers just liked keeping him away alot. but ough. he was so quick to stop when#there was someone There. and robin didn't have ti feel like all he had#anyway crisis got rid of her im sure. like harvey. when does 'pre and post crisis' actually start bc its not at the crisis its issues after
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Thank you all for voting in the poll to decide who was going to be the leader of the band! It turned out to be such a close race!
#poorly drawn mdzs#better drawn mdzs#mdzs#madam lan#A-qing#Band AU#(Reminder that Madam Lan's design inspiration goes to Qourmet!)#Madam Lan may have been the winner per vote count but there were so many strong advocates for A-Qing!#I played around with a few versions of what the 'poll winner' art was going to be and ultimately decided I wanted them both.#As any good theater love knows though - The battle for leadership was a ruse. They *all* get a chance to be featured.#Cooperation was the real end goal! However I do think these two have the best frontman energy of the group.#Or at least 'crowd favourite' energy. I also really loved hearing what people thought their vocal styles would be like!#This was probably one of my favourite polls to do and I love drawing these characters a lot B*)#I'd love to spend a bit more time in this AU so count on me bringing it back.#One thing I keep feeling like I need to redeem myself on is Madam Lan's Translucent skirt. I have *not* done the concept justice yet.#It is such a crack-platonic ship but I want to think Madam Lan and A-Qing would enjoy each other's company.#Possibly also with JYL as well. They can be like mutually beneficial therapy dogs to each other.#Madam Lan never got to see her kids grow up into teenagers after all. She only had sons. Never daughters.#Even if she saw her kids once a month we do know she treated them with so much love and kindness.#She would bite the shit out of YZY for yelling at JYL. What a sight to see. A-Qing would also start biting (for fun).
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I love you, and us, and I wanted to celebrate our awesomeness as a couple. NCIS: HAWAI'I | 2x20: NIGHTWATCH TWO
#ncis hawaii#ncis hawai'i#kate x lucy#kacy#ncishawaiiedit#wlwsource#wlwgif#kacyedit#lucy tara#kate whistler#photoset#yes you absolutely SHOULD celebrate your awesomeness as a couple!!#deserved!!#I completely thought that she was covering for something with that random anniversary story though#but no.. she is just that weird#such a good episode for them though#the flirting the sweetness the working together the over protective kate#the re-do of their first meeting we never got to see!!#beautiful stuff#and kevin ryan was here dating tennant#the ep had it all
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Adding To or Starting a Garden
AKA, the beginning of the Plants-Related section of this series.
This is my third post in a series Iāll be making on how to increase biodiversity on a budget! Iām not an expert--just an enthusiast--but I hope something you find here helps!Ā
Got an area of lawn youād like to convert to a wildlife haven? An area you can stick some hanging baskets in? Want to know how your garden of tomatoes and zucchinis is already putting in a lot of work? This is the section for you!
It would be dumb of me to not acknowledge that the act of gardening can come with a lot of costs. Buying seeds, buying plants, buying soil, raised bed materials, mulch, etc. ā¦ it can all get a bit daunting, letās be honest! But thereās quite a few ways to get seeds and plants for free or extremely cheap, which Iāll be addressing in this section! The next section will be all about addressing the other Costs in gardening and how to mitigate or eliminate them entirely.
Also, do keep in mind; thereās no need to try and convert a whole area from lawn to garden or unused to garden at once. In fact, it could actually be extremely beneficial to do it a little at a time--maybe four or five square feet to start out.
Front Lawn (or Managing Principles)
If you live in a place where youāre required to have a grass turf lawn (HOAās come to mindā¦), try replacing it with native grasses instead! You could even possibly use a low-growing ground cover plant like clover to a similar effect! Reseeding/replacing an entire lawn can be a big upfront cost, but even just letting the lawn be a little messy and tall helps. If the lawn gets patchy, leave the bare spots for a little while and something different will likely pop up! Pioneer species will fill the gaps and provide benefits to other plants around them, support animals, and more! If you want to take the guesswork out of it, you could always research what the pioneer species are in your area and plant the ones you like most.Ā
Obtaining Seeds for Cheap or Free
The cheapest way to start a garden is by far via seeds. However, seeds can be a bit complicated to grow, and some sources make themā¦ way overpriced. Fortunately there are ways to get seeds for little to no cost!Ā
Some places sell seeds for as low as a dollar, 50 cents, or 25 cents! The packets may not have a lot of seeds, but itās definitely a good start for a low budget! Iāve personally bought cheap seed packets at Walmart--the Ferry-Morse and Burpee brands are not what weāre looking for here. Typically the cheaper ones Iāve found are American Seed (which is owned by Green Garden Products, which also owns Ferry-Morse, Livingston Seed, McKenzie Seed, and Seeds of Change. Do with that information what you will), but theyāre rarely stocked near the Ferry-Morse ones in the Formal Gardening Section. Iāve most often found them on end caps near the gardening section, so you may have to weave through a few aisles to find them, but once you do thereās an array of flower and vegetable seeds to select from! Alternatively, Iāve found seeds at Dollar Tree sold 2 or 4 for a dollar in Spring as part of their seasonal product; however, when theyāre out of stock, theyāre typically out of stock for the year. Try to check them out early in the year!
Otherwise, other seed companies like Urban Farmer or Botanical Interests will often have semi-frequent sales in spring and fall, when people are stocking up on seeds--joining their email lists can help you be the first to know when a good sale is going on!
Some foods from grocery stores will provide seeds that you can use in the garden as well. Iāve had the most luck with store-bought bagged beans, peppers, and tomatoes. Some people have had luck with watermelons, apples, citrus, squash, and more. Do keep in mind that you likely wonāt get the same variety of fruit/vegetable as the one you bought--the resulting plant may look different and taste different.
Give it a shot! Pick some beans you like--if they don't grow well, at least you can eat the rest!
If you live in the US, food-producing live plants, bare roots, and seeds can often be purchased with SNAP benefits. But what does growing fruits, veggies, and herbs have to do with boosting biodiversity? While food crops arenāt typically native, they still provide valuable shelter for native insects. Some plants even have intricate relationships with native fauna--like the squash bee, a solitary bee which exclusively pollinates cucurbits like pumpkins, squash, and zucchini. And we get to benefit more directly as well! If youāre planting a diverse range of foods in your garden (as opposed to the swaths of single-plant farms that typically produce whatās sent to grocery stores), youāre supporting high levels of biodiversity by providing a variety of plants for creatures to live and hunt around.
Most of the time, when we think of boosting biodiversity with a garden, we think of a colorful flower garden teeming with pollinator species. However, if weāre striving to use native species, it can be a bit difficult to find some species in stores. I can say from experience that trying to find any wildflower seeds other than butterfly weed, purple coneflowers, and black-eyed-susans isā¦ challenging, if you limit yourself to stores like Walmart, Home Depot, and Loweās. You might occasionally get lucky with an ACE Hardware or a local nursery, but even then sometimes it can be hard to track down who in your area is selling what--let alone if you live in an area where no one really is selling native plants or their seeds. Not to mention, even once you find a local or online store selling the seeds you want, they can sometimes cost a pretty penny. So what do you do?
If you have the option to, consider gathering native seeds yourself! Get good at identifying the native flora and fauna--or at least, a few target plants and their lookalikes--and get ready to go! Learn where they tend to grow, when theyāll be seeding, etc. Try to identify the plant before it goes to seed (for most plants, it's easiest to identify when flowering), then check back regularly to gather seeds. Typically, if I want to learn how to collect seed from a specific plant, I just search it on Google or YouTube--oftentimes, I'm lead to the GrowItBuildIt Youtube page, so it may be a helpful resource for you as well! Of course, make sure to leave plenty of seed behind so the wild population can repopulate, and seed can feed other creatures in the area.Ā A good rule of thumb is to take no more than 1/3rd of what's available.
Buying seed in bulk is an option if you can afford the upfront cost. Try teaming up with a few friends to buy some bulk seeds and split them amongst yourselves--youāll get tons of seed! Prairie Moon is a popular site that'll sell seeds by the pound if you can afford the price--though they're in the US, and I believe they focus on Midwest and East Coast natives.
If you want to cheat the system, donāt buy bulk sunflower seeds--buy bags of sunflower seeds being sold as birdseed. Theyāre typically all black oil sunflower seeds, but theyāll sprout, and theyāre fairly cheap for the amount you get!
However, beware generic wildflower seed mixes! Many brands like to sell wildflower seed mixes in big box stores like Home Depot, Target, or even Dollar Tree, but theyāll often include flowers that arenāt native or possibly even invasive in your region! Before you make any purchases, double check to make sure the contained seeds wonāt do more harm than good! A quality source of native seeds will provide English and Latin names for all seeds included, and will be native to the region or at least non-invasive.Ā
See this? I don't trust this.
Thereās a good handful of programs online thatāll send you free seeds if youāre planning to start a native habitat project! Poke around online and see what you can find; you might get lucky! The best time to start looking for these is fall and winter, I find--by early spring, many of them are either done or beginning to wind down... though some also start up in spring. Ultimately--just check regularly! You never know what you can find!
Other Ways to Get Plants
Donāt want to start from seed? Thatās fair! You can try cuttings! Just be sure not to take too much of the plant while you do so. Make sure youāve gotten a few leaf nodes on your cutting, and cut any flowers you may have gotten. Make sure to leave some blooms and foliage on the original plant for the creatures in the current habitat--you donāt want to destroy one habitat to make another in your garden. Thereās tons of methods of rooting cuttings, many of which have different efficacy rates for different plants, but thatās a topic for another post.
If you find seedlings growing in a place where they wonāt be able to sustain themselves long-term, or are in danger of being destroyed, consider relocating them! You may be able to gently dig up and transplant the seedling to your garden. Donāt do this if theyāre in a place where they can easily survive--ideally, youāll be taking plants from sidewalk cracks, heavily maintained public gardens, roadsides, etc. Do be careful while doing this--ensure your safety first!Ā Ā
Youāre totally allowed to join gardening communities like clubs, facebook groups, and more before youāve even put a trowel to the dirt. These are great places to learn information and advice! Many gardeners are more than happy to help out a new gardener, and will eagerly provide seeds, cuttings, or even baby plants! Talk to some people about your gardening journey and what youāre hoping to do, and you just might find some kindred spirits--or at least get more people interested in the topic!Ā
Seed and plant giveaways and trades happen all the time in gardening clubs, as well as online! Just poke around and see what you can find! Some are explicitly trades, meaning youāre expected to send something in return, but once you get your feet on the ground with some plant knowledge youāll be stellar! You may be able to explain youāre just starting out, and someone may send you seeds without expecting a trade, but Iād suggest trying giveaways first.Ā
Poke around online and see if thereās a local chapter of your stateās native plant society. From there, youāll likely be able to find a calendar of events--many of them will host plant sales in the spring, with a bunch of native plant seedlings ripe for the pickings if you can make it out and have some money to spare! Fair warning, though, youāll want to get there early if you can. If they say theyāre starting at 10, try to get there by 9:45. Year after year, thereās always record turnout, and they sell out of plants faster than ever. Just trust me on this. Iāve been let down; hopefully you wonāt have to be.
Some libraries are beginning to host seed libraries! Check around and see if your library has one! Ideally, the system works best if you also have seeds to contribute in return, but if youāre just starting out Iām sure they wonāt mind you taking some seeds! Just consider saving some seeds to contribute in the future and pay it forward. If your library doesnāt have a seed library? Consider asking if theyād be willing to start one! Community interest is a great way to get the ball rolling on projects like these, but theyāll only know the community is interested if the community tells them theyāre interested!
Volunteer to Garden for/with Someone Else
Maybe someone in your area wants to garden, but is struggling to find the time/energy. Many elderly people who used to garden simply canāt anymore but still would like a garden. Other people may love to have a helping hand in their garden. You might even find a few people in your area interested in renting and sharing a community garden plot with others, so they don't have to handle it all on their own! They may be interested in increasing biodiversity right now, or may be willing to if itās brought up to them. You might be just the kind of person someone needs! Since it won't be your garden, youāll likely need a bit of permission and collaboration to get anything in particular going, but itās worth a shot and a way to maybe even make friends!Ā
Again, your mileage may vary with some of these. You may not know where there's a bunch of wildflowers growing in your area, or maybe your local library doesn't have a free seed library. That's okay! Do what you're able to, find what you can find, get what you can get! And there's never any shame with starting small--in fact, starting small can make the project easier to manage and expand when you're able!
That's the end of this post! My next post is gonna be about ways to start growing plants cheaply--low cost seed starting set ups, essentially. There's a lot of good options, many of which I've used myself even! Until then, I hope this advice is helpful! Feel free to reply with any questions, success stories, or anything you think I may have forgotten to add in!
#biodiversity#solarpunk#gardening#outdoor gardening#growing from seed#ani rambles#out of queue#the biodiversity saga#i will be honest I have never flat out approached people to offer to help them garden#HOWEVER. People HAVE approached ME asking ME to help THEM with/plan THEIR garden#granted it was after I'd been gardening for a good few years. and its mostly family or family friends but yknow#people would be like 'oh wanna help me with my veggie garden?' even before I tried growing vegetables#i don't think the library near me has a seed library but you just wait until i. get the courage. to go to the library regularly.#i've seen people also make their own little seed library structures kinda like a little free library but like#i dont think my neighborhood is about that life.#if any of yall have those though it could be a great resource! also send pics because I love seeing them#not to say that this post should become a giant seed trade but if it did become that i would be the opposite of mad#if there's any typos blame my sister shes got the hotel room at like 60-something degrees and I am FREEZING#welp time to shut up now bye
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old ivylyn wip I don't think I'll ever finish
#its been open on my desktop for weeks#prob not going to complete so ig you guys can see it#love ivy and katelyn#i want them to be the most tragic sapphics in diaries im being so deadass#ivy thought katelyn was dead so she went fucking insane#turns out shes not dead and now ivy has to face her as someone she hates#she has to meet her lover again and she knows katelyn is disappointed in her#she has become what she feared what she had to be#ivy dies believing katelyn left her alone#that she abonded her#and katelyn will never get the chance to explain herself#shell have to live with the guilt that she abonded ivy and broke her heart#that shes the one who got her killed#aphmau#minecraft diaries#mcd#mcd rewrite#katelyn the firefist#ivy x katelyn#ivy the venom scythe#ivylyn#katevy
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