#and she came off consistent
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#meet my da ocs#meet my ocs#oc: cersiris surana#grapecase plays dao#she was originally planned as albino but i guess i didnt download the correct skin color mods or something is wrong with the preset bc she#came off grey af#which felt offensive to me#it is weird how she lowkey looks like my cousin roflmao#i also originally picked the 'violent' voice for her bc it was cree summers [and i liked having her va black bc cers is black] but it kept#glitching#the plans of mice and men aft agley /sighs#anyway meet zevran's possible spouse#it's funny i og had wanted to have her hair brown and skin pale [opposite him] but the ashiness#i thought it would be nice aesthetically#the lighting ig is so effing weird#i didnt notice it much with haldi bc haldi's skin was not only dark brown but the skin tinting mod worked with her modded preset#everything was smooth and even with her skin#and she came off consistent#cers looks like fifty shades each different depending where she is#it's weird lol#[and i dont mean in the sense like oh lights and shadows i mean like her skin is a mood ring except not]#anyway
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so here's my honest thoughts on dragon age: the veilguard, after ~40 hours of playing. i finished the main quest after having finished all companion quests and major faction quests. just to clear up what content i saw, i played as an elven transmasc rook who is a member of the lords of fortune. he romanced lucanis (although after finishing the game i'm now leaning towards taash). i don't know what's happening in playthroughs that have a different race, gender identity, romance or faction going on.
full spoilers ahead, i mean it. don't read further if you want to avoid them. i don't want complaining about it in my asks.
oh and also, if you're worried because of a few negative reviews online i can comfort you by saying don't give a fuck about a certain big name youtuber who is very much tied to bethesda franchises giving this a negative review. i'll explain why.
i'm starting off with the things i liked
the game looks really pretty. i was worried it wouldn't feel like thedas anymore (with them trying to "focus on northern thedas only" i thought they'd make a clear cut in environmental design. they do and they don't. it's complicated. i'll elaborate on it when talking about the negative stuff). anyway it does. minrathous feels like kirkwall. treviso enchanted me like the winter palace did. the hossberg wetlands reminded me of the hinterlands and a couple other inquisition maps. arlathan looked like... arlathan. the crossroads were different, but familiar. overall i like the way it looks and feels. it's thedas, with a twist. it's a good one, and gives everything a solid but unique feel.
combat is top tier. if you're a hardcore dragon age player you WILL miss the tactical aspect of it for a bit, but i promise you, once you're used to the way the combat works, you will be lapping that shit up. and once you get to ability combos you'll mourn the control you used to have over your companions in battle a bit less
the MAIN quest and its story. i expected worse, way worse. and for a while the game even had me tricked (harr harr you'll get it in a second) it is Really That Much Worse. but holy shit was it good. i walked away satisfied ngl.
your choices have SOLID weight. there's consequences, good AND bad. i got minrathous blighted, ruled over by venatori, and the leader of the shadow dragons ultimately died because of my decisions. i made those at the beginning and throughout the game. he died at the end. DAVRIN died because i didn't expect what i was saying to have that much weight. i thought i was in the clear. he had hero status. well turns out, your choices can still get your companions killed even if you do everything right. i fucking love him. he shouldn't have made that sacrifice just because i told him to do everything it takes once.
the inquisitor, morrigan and dorian being there, surprisingly. there's also negatives to this though, see below.
speaking of companions dying and the inquisitor playing a bigger role: the final quest feels like me2's suicide mission. i was blown away by it and the fact that i got to see the results of all my efforts playing out in front of me.
bioware are NOT trying to redeem solas. they love him as a character yes, but i wasn't forced to see any good in him. he betrays you. he fucked my rook over twice. he fucked him over right back, for good this time (the veil wasn't torn down, i anchored it by binding him to it, he's doomed to uphold it). but solas really lives up to his name as the trickster elven god. rip to all the people who grew really attached to him over the years.
varric died. if you like him that's probably as hard reading it as it was watching it. varric died and the game lies about it until the very end. when the realisation hits, it hurts. but in the very best way.
the amount of care they put into gender expression and trans identities this time around. (i'll add onto this with negative points as well too).
rook feels very much ingrained in the world of thedas. he doesn't ask questions that expose the player to lore through dialogue as if he's stepped foot into thedas for the first time. those conversations feel very solid and good. i hope other faction players got as much joy out of this as i did.
and the things i didn't like and boy there's a lot unfortunately
the music. let's just get that out of the way holy shit. it doesn't feel like it belongs in this universe. it gets so incredibly sci-fi-y at times you'd think it's taken straight from mass effect andromeda. there's not a single song unique to veilguard that i really enjoyed. it broke my immersion, real bad. hearing a busker play the tavern songs from inquisition on a lute right after i killed some venatori with wobbly bass songs playing in the background is just odd. weird tonal shift. don't like it. it's made for people who like flashy light-weight cinema.
tevinter nights is required reading. the podcasts are required listening exercises. the game is so fast paced, especially at the start, that there's no time to introduce you to characters and how much weight their names carry in-game. i would not have known who half these people are if i hadn't skimmed over tevinter nights. i'd care even less about them than i already did. there is no time to get properly attached to them. people will act as if you're talking to a legend personified and you'll be thinking man goddamn which chapter of tevinter night were they in again and what did they do???
there's a weird mismatch with the animations. you'll have beautifully fluid ones, like emmrich casting spells. and then you'll have rook's face animating in the most unnatural manner that's sorta reminiscent of mass effect andromeda's "my face is tired" addison, when their emotions SHOULD be landing with the player rn instead.
i'm not vibing with the art style. sometimes it works. most of the time it doesn't. at points i felt like i was watching tangled.
that also brings me to some of the dialogue. same issue. i am watching frozen. i am watching tangled. someone on the writer's team really likes the adorkable trope. bellara is its victim.
for all the talk about identity, bioware sure doesn't like theirs. the grey warden armor got a redesign again and it just makes them look like a generic army. i hate it lol
in general, i don't like the armor design. the wardrobe/appearances system is fine, but it's just not helping if all the armors are just... kinda bland or downight bad looking? and don't get me started on the lords of fortune armor. that is orientalism personified.
the world states should have been carried over, full stop. i know they said they didn't because they want to separate what happens in the north from what happens in the south, which... i could have lived with that. but the inquisitor sends you letters that keep you up to date on... the south of thedas. you learn that there's a blight again, that people are standing strong but it's difficult, denerim's fallen, the rulers are taking care of it, orlais is fighting and they're successful for a while, etc etc. what's good bioware. i thought we don't care about the south this time around. why are you feeding me so much boring generic information. if you're not gonna show any of it and just write letters, then carrying the world state over should not have been an issue. i have a game dev background. those few lines of code would not have broken your budget or pushed your engine's limits. fuck right off.
this gripe of mine carries over to all the cameos. as a lord of fortune you have to deal with isabela a lot. it's fun. i missed her. you get to go drinking with her and taash and bellara! also my hawke romanced her. she's not mentioned once. they had the opportunity to put a sentence or two about her in there with not a lot of effort, trust me.
when varric dies, all she has is a single line about it. for gold, for fortune, for varric. she only says it if you interact with her on your way to the final push. that's not mandatory.
morrigan is there. kieran isn't. the old god soul that mythal and then solas absorbed? who cares at this point, the gods are dead now and solas is locked away for eternity. i suppose? why is morrigan there. she feels unneeded. i wish they'd just left her down south, at least that way i wouldn't have had to witness her god awful redesign.
dorian at least feels as if he belongs in this story. the shadow dragons are a crucial part to protecting minrathous. he's also weirdly underutilised. isabela and morrigan had more lines than him in my playthrough.
on the topic of romance: bro that was underwhelming. no, genuinely. you know when romance picked up a bit? after the point of no return. i heard maybe two lines of companion banter about it before that. maybe i missed something which i honestly doubt, but romance did not play much of a role in lucanis's storyline. i saved his grandmother as he wished me to (and if you read tevinter nights you know she was rather abusive and their relationship not the healthiest) and told him to focus on his family. a reunified family my rook wasn't even introduced to as a partner at the end of all that.
really, do not buy this game if you're only in it for the romances. others might be better, lucanis's basically gave me nothing. except for an outing (the second coffee date i had with him, it was getting repetitive) all of it played out once i committed to the final quest. the sex scene was a fade to black. annoyingly right after davrin died. if you're looking for well paced and good spice, pick up something else. the sweet talk and the final goodbye were nice though.
for all the good the ever-presence of gender identity does, it is brought up in such a disruptive manner too. it doesn't even play out naturally if you CHOOSE the lines that are meant to be said. hearing the words trans and non-binary in this setting doesn't feel right, and i'm saying this as a trans guy. i think it could have been handled more gracefully. the amount of times my rook went "i'm a MAN" as if he's about to start drumming on his chest and roaring any second now got super nerve-grating. "i'm so glad you're into me... the me who is trans. remember?" just. tell me one trans person who'd talk like that to a person they've grown close with and are trying to romance. this game doesn't handle sexuality well, so all this hey my body might not look like the way you're expecting it to look talk amounts to nothing anyway. i feel about this the way i feel about krem: this is partial exposition to trans experiences... packaged up for cis consumption. the ONLY exception to that is interacting with taash. holy shit was all of that heartwarming and bro did it feel good and natural to talk to them about theirs and rook's gender.
rivain and nevarra are new locations added by veilguard. they're also incredibly underwhelming, small and constricted maps. rivain is a coastline with a few ruins. the hall of valor is a partial ruin nestled into a cave on a beach, with a fighting pit. isabela is there in her skimpy outfit commentating your pit fights. that's it. i'm sorry if you were looking for a bustling pirate cove or whatever. you're not gonna get it. the nevarran crypts btw are a long ass dungeon crawl. that's it.
speaking of maps. i thought people were being dramatic when they said you're gonna be fighting the same enemies on them again and again. i thought they were figure of speeching it. they're not. you WILL fight the same amount of enemies. in the same spot. every time you reload the map. best to stay on a map and clear out the enemies and do as much questing on that map as you can before leaving, because you WILL have to do it all over again once you return.
the three choices i made for my inquisitor didn't matter lol she didn't have to face solas and therefore couldn't stop him at any cost as she had sworn (maybe because my rook tricked solas into binding himself to the veil, there was also an option to fight him. would she have stepped in? who knows). blackwall wasn't mentioned. and either her using a small amount of her forces in the final fight was the reason the civilians of minrathous fared so well..... or it just didn't matter. ultimately i think she had very little impact on anything
#datv#datv spoilers#dragon age: the veilguard#oh wow i hit a limit typing this#anyway to tie this up a bit: the good and bad to the environmental design being that well-known architecture like minrathous and dwarven#ruins look fire and remind me a lot of the previous games#but newly added locations are very... generic... very bland#i was very excited for rivain. i thought we'd get to see ships. not a bunch of ruins and a fighting pit and that's it#and why did i say to ignore a certain guy's review? bro because he was complaining about taash being ace and that taking up their screentim#and them being too up in your face about their identity. he did all this while she/her'ing them constantly#but my man they're trans. nb. not ace.#y'all need to be careful about bad reviews. they're coming from people who are upset about gender identity being handled as a topic in this#game. meanwhile they have no clue what they're even talking about. i don't think matty knows the difference between ace and trans#and neither do the hundreds of people who are one star rating this game currently#i liked this game. it's not top tier. it's not something i'll sink hours and hours and hours of my life into#it has tonal issues and it's moving away from what made dragon age stand out for me#but i do think that it's a genuinely fun play and people who are very invested in dragon age will squeeze joy out of it wherever they can#i had a hard time warming up to the new characters (taash and lucanis being the exception because they have an older bioware air about them#but solas's and varric's story (and don't get me wrong that's what veilguard is about) is GOOD. that is how bioware used to be.#and i wish they'd given us that energy all over the game. that direness. that grit. serious and mature writing.#that consistency is lacking#and whether you're gonna enjoy this game or not is entirely dependant on what you came here for and how well the game delivers on it#i think their weakest points are ironically the thing they advertised the most: the new companions and their writing#you won't find nuanced and good enemies here (i already reblogged something about this. you can go scroll around a bit and catch up on that#really the only thing that had me super invested and emotional was the main quest.#so make of that what you will. ultimately i was more frustrated with the game than i got enjoyment out of it. i was close to just put it#aside for now... until i went to minrathous to end ghila'nain's and elgar'nan's ritual. that all blew me away. still on a high off of it.#anyway yeah that review got cut short by the character limit maybe i'll add more to it tomorrow but rn... i am heading to bed#thanks for coming to my ted talk. also i'm sorry. zevran REALLY isn't in this.#dragon age
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everytime i feel bad and stressed about my life i remember that i might be in a troubling situation and having a bad time but im not season 4 fiona gallagher in the clink after leaving crack on the counter which my 3 year old baby brother happened to ingest resulting in a fatal near-death experience thats wracked me with never-ending guilt and forever altered my life
#this storyline was stupid you expect me to believe two-apples-tall liam gallagher came close to the crack AND managed to ingest it?#the crack which is lined up on the kitchen counter?#Also i don't believe that fiona would be irresponsible enough for liam to have been able to be close to the crack#that was an ooc moment and not like “its ooc cause thats the point shes going thru a tough time”#morelike “so ooc that it seems like a discrepancy that was overlooked for the sake of drama and shock value#as an older sister i feel like being watchful of your younger sibling if crack is in their general vicinity is an unstoppable instinct#its just not a plausible situation sorry like this is coming from someone who wholeheartedly embraces the realistic idea#of fiona falling short sometimes and being very human by struggling to consistently maintain her doting attentiveness#but anyways it's complicated cause Fiona clearly put it somewhere he cant reach#so how did he get access to it????#its like getting mad at a parent for putting a glass of wine on the counter#not comparing that to literal cocaine obviously this whole situation was nonetheless messed up#but just for some perspective... the writers were clearly doing cocaine themselves if they thought that#liam was bungee-jumping onto the counter and showing off his skills as an apparent budding olympics gymnast#not justifying anything but. listen.#the fact that it was on the counter FOR A REASONNN shows that fiona was careful to keep it out of reach and NOT do something insane like#putting it on the table#liam somehow magically having access to it defeats the purpose of it being on the counter.#if they really wanted for it to be believable that liam managed to snort it they should've put it on the table#but we already know that situation wouldn't be believable in its entirety cause we know that fiona would literally never leave it there#WHICH IS MY POINT. LIKE THIS SITUATION IS JUST ANNOYINGLY UNBELIEVABLE. FIONA WOULD NOT DO THIS AND HOW DID LIAM EVEN GET TO IT??#theres like 39482939 overlooked discrepancies just for the sake of getting to the shock#just to circle back Fiona would literally never let liam go near crack no matter how far gone and fucked up she was#I KNOW THIS BECAUSE I AM AN OLDER SISTER.#its just so UGHHHHH anyways obviously i still think in canon yeah Fiona was at fault shouldve been more careful and watchful#no matter how you look at it its clear that a risk like this just cannot be taken and she had to be blamed to an extent#but me personally? i reject it because it didnt feel natural to me at all there were 394939 other ways to frame a Fiona downfall#And i loved all the other ways her spiral was shown like getting messed up and ending up in Sheboygan#all the shit she got into with robbie + the impulsive urge to ruin the good thing she had going with mike#so human and believable and deeply flawed unlike the liam situation which was horrifically OOC and unrealistic
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there comes a beautiful time in life where i have to ask myselg th question, "did i accidentally project too hard onto the character that i only relate to a little bit and in doing so hugely missed this one entire aspect/interpretation of the characters . am i stupid"
#ARE THEY STUPID!#dr who#this is about ten specifically his relationship w martha lmao#m being so serious i genuinely did not. see the 'ten was on purpose leading martha on to make her think her feelings were requited' angle#until going out into the wild and reading the tumblr posts. like i genuinely did not. at ALLLLLL. its like a brick hitting my head#bc the ENTIRE time s3 ten came off to me as 'doing stuff w no romantic intent behind it but would consistently get misinterpreted as such'#cuz IIIIIIIII have done this. IIIIIIII have run into this problem before. and it sucks so incredibly bad.#i actually do want to think my og interpretation still holds water cuz like. well i could gather all the evidence but#first one that comes 2 mind would be him going 'it's like when you fancy someone + they dont know you exist' to martha. in episode TWELVE#two routes; either ten is needlessly cruel and callous even after a season's worth of building up trust and friendship w her#or he is on super 'i dont think she has feelings for me and this is a very unhappy coincidence of a line' cocaine#Or the 'she fancied me' line in s4 to donna. either he is disregarding all the good and positive impact she did him. or the fact that this#went over his head the whole time made him look back on that time w discomfort <- I DID THIS. I MIGHT HAVE BEEN PROJECTING#THIS ONTO HIM. AM I STUPID.?.?????#you know how mikage rgu can either be read as an incel or a gay man lost so completely in the sauce#ten is like in this same ballpark. i think. of 'emotionally manipulative and disrespects women' or 'aroacespec and missed the cues'#funniest possible options to pick from. ten my brother how did you set yourself up like this#absolutely not denying that he was toxic and unhealthy during s3 in like 500 ways btw. but well. ths is the one concwpt that#flew over my head. so completely. and i can kind of see it now but i also still find it hard to incorporate into my belief system#bc its like. brother I'M aroace and missed the cues too lol#tangential note we can trace many problems down to a writer's room filled w white people not giving#martha's character the respect/agency she deserves for the existing narrative she has. bc they pulled this w mickey too both in series 1+2#if they wanted to portray ten as manipulative then him and martha should've been given more screentime#together where martha (or anyone else) calls him the FUCK out on this. and ten would need to suffer narrative consequences of doing smth#as fucked up as that rather than his happy stable dynamic he has w donna. if they wanted to portray him as oblivious then marthas character#shouldn't have constantly been boiled down to an unrequited crush (particularly her dialogue in the s3 finale - there's a LOT more reasons#why she would choose to leave/why their dynamic was unhealthy besides ten not returning her feelings)#if you read all these tags you may be entitled 2 financial compensation#ten and martha#aspec doc tag
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“WHAT, GONNA CRY?”ㅤ
malina loveday (she/her) — gloomy // lazy // mean
#baby's first (proper) post hehe!!! let me know if i did something wrong btw#anyway. about malina herself?#Well You See.#she's a gamer she's unemployed she hasn't showered in a week her diet consists only of quickmeals and most importantly i love her your hono#i made her only a day or two ago but i'm SUPER proud of how she came out especially since her design came to me so easily#one day i'll make the rest of her outfits. one day#the sims 4#ts4#ts4 simblr#simblr#sim: malina loveday#snag's sim tag#edit: i've only realized just now that tumblr cut off the last R in 'your honor' in my tag about what she's like. thanks tumblr
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When I first saw Big Bob Belcher in his debut episode I didn’t like him at first since I figured his description of him in the early seasons were carried over but later him he grew up me. Most notably after the Interview with a Pop-Pop-pire especially when he talked about his late wife. It’s telling that Tina, Gene and Louise are more excited to see him than they ever were with Linda’s parents. He actually takes the time to interact with them while Al and Gloria barely acknowledge them even when they are in the same room. I don’t know how well Bob’s relationship with his father is going but they are definitely talking more than before so that’s something.
big bob is literally my HUSBAND i have soo many thoughts on him and how his protrayal shifted over the course of the show and his relationship w/ his grandkids. i do think he was a crappy neglectful father but being a bad parent doesn't always equal being a bad grandparent since they're completely different relationships. gloria manages to fail in both respects but big bob seems to be a really good and fun grandpa!!!! something he definitely was not as a dad
he's also the byproduct of grief and mental illness and a culture of toxic masculinity which doesn't EXCUSE how he treated bob but it certainly adds context for their relationship (and I'm glad it seems to be getting better. no more fifteen minute rule and they actually talk somewhat regularly)
#he TEXTS WITH bob!!! and they have phone calls together#HE CAME OVER TO BOBS RESTURANT AND ACTUALLY VISITED WITH HIM AND ATE HIS FOOD!!!!!!#and he invited the grandkids over and they made cookies together <3 and bob was there#I know linda wasn't really the focus of that episode so she wasnt included for consistencys sake or she could've been off screen#but its funny how she was never invited to any of big bob's hang outs with bob and the kids. dont do ur daughter in law like that man#ask#bob's burgers
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people say shit like "mangaka need to have healthier update schedules!" then ichikawa actually practices that by semi consistently updating bi monthly, and people get very angry for her doing so. there's thousands of other manga that exist, read something else in the meantime if you're that impatient
#houseki no kuni#sorry just. she's been consistently taking a month off every other chapter since hnk came back#and EVERY time people get so mad. just read something else#we all love to talk about how awful mangaka work schedules are until our favorite takes a small break huh#turning off reblogs bc i made this. when i was really angry over some youtube comments and i kinda dont want it to get out of hand
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my best friend's MOTHER called me to scold me about being depressed and self isolating lol what has life even come to
#she was like. kya hua why won't you meet her she's saying you're busy do you have exams or something#and she knows too much about me so she's like beta exam toh agli saal hai na#it was more like pyaar se scolding ki mil liya karo usse acche lagega she's very sad she misses you#i was like. hmph. what??? she certainly hasn't said that to me#im kinda sick and tired of begging people to make me a priority pay attention to me tbh. i did ask to meet but she was like you come to my#house only i won't come to your house. even tho last few months ive been to her house soooo many times because of her parental drama#i don't want to go anymore im trying to study consistently and we don't sleep at all during nighout and i don't even want to waste a single#day. plus dad is being so weird and involved these days i can't even just sneak out. i mean if she came to my home atleast i wouldn't be so#tired that id waste the whole next day. but she doesn't wanna and she doesn't even have a reason so i just let it be i gave up#but aunty made me feel so guilty so whatever i texted like hey u wanna meet#tbh i don't want to sit and listen to her boyfriend drama all night. she never wants to do stuff together anymore we used to watch movies#we used to dance to songs we used to have so much fun. we were even planning on drinking but she keeps cancelling. now it's just endless#talk about how she feels so lonely and how she misses the guys so fuckinh much and howshe can't stop talking to them and how she needs them#to fill the gap the empty space#well fuck you!!! i feel the same and you don't give a fuck. you blow me off constantly don't hangout for a month even when we're in the#same city !! so we fuck you go to your boys and go your cousin ill be on my fucking own then always on my own desperately#trying everything to fix myself enough to move forward so my life doesn't fall apart and comes to a crashing halt#okay im definitely pmsing but whatever
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nothing makes me feel more pathetic than having dyscalculia in an entry level customer service job like it affects EVERYTHING like it really is Bad At Everything Disorder Except Maybe Reading (Learning Disabilities Are Often Comorbid With Each Other) and i hate even MENTIONING it too often like i dont want to be the person to use it as an excuse 24/7 so i just end up looking lazy or maybe messy but i bust my ass at this job guyssss i swearrrrrr
#and my managers all know i have it too i was upfront about it when it came to the till paperwork#and actually she told me that my paperwork has been pretty consistent since nearly a year of working there#but it’s been off since i got more hours so now im scared…..
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There ain't nothing Shera does that Lego Monkie Kid doesn't do better.
#and obviously tdp but like#Spop and LMK do similar things with ''chosen one'' trope deconstruction and main protagonists who think they make everything worse#Except god.#They resolve that part of Adora's arc TERRIBLY. Like. They just give it to her. Nothing happens to inspire her to change they just went#''Okay now she doesn't think she's a weapon! She has some self-worth!'' at the end of s4#But that's the entirety of spop smh#They just do whatever they want and everything is so tonally inconsistent and none of the characters are ever written consistently#I've been doing a watch through of it with some friends and god. God is it terrible#Maybe if I liked the jokes I'd enjoy it more. And also if I turned my brain off#But with the way I interact with media like oof. Not the show for me#Ougghghg it's so sad Adora should be EXACTLY my type of character (the narrative's favorite) (not a good thing) but like#They just do everything so lammmeeeeeeee#It's soooooo baaddddddddddddddddddd#God the s4 conflict between Adora and Glimmer makes no damn sense. No fucking sense. It doesn't get resolved#the way Shera handles war and grief is so weird#Like. Just go watch tdp it's better there#But for destiny and chosen one stuff and ''not being a weapon''? Living in the shadow of those who came before?#Super mentally ill protag with the lowest self-worth you've ever seen? Friends who struggle against their fates?#A ''reboot'' that treats it's source material with love?#LMK is the way to go man#spop critical#lmk rant#imp tag#imp's a little feisty
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“Mahal in his forges— it’s the same old story,” said Dis with clear disgust. “He was your father and you love him, fine; I do not forgive him one jot for not supporting his wife in her career the way she did for him in his.”
“I beg your pardon: my father never worked a day in his life,” said Bilbo icily.
“See, what’s really weird is that you sound proud of that,” Dis snorted. “Seriously, I don’t care how rich either of them were, do you think there’s a male thief out there of half her caliber to whom it would even occur to give it all up just because he got married and had a kid? But Belladonna Took has to get completely out of the game if she wants to start a family. That’s exactly why I’ve never married and never will.”
“Duna’s married,” said Dori.
Dis pointed emphatically with the knife. “Yes, to my cousin, whom you better believe I brought up to know better. Oh, damn—” She shook the knife close to her ear. “Thorin, the hilt’s coming loose.”
“Triple-riveted full tang and it still comes loose,” sighed Thorin, taking it from her and tapping the hilt with his fingers. “You’re right, Princess, I’m sorry that’s happened. Here, take this one for now—I know it’s not to your standards, just as a loaner. I’ll get you this one back as soon as I can.”
“Do,” she commanded. “I’m not going to be patient, that’s one of my top four knives.”
Thorin inclined his head smiling, this apparently being a compliment, and Dis turned the knife he’d handed her back and forth with a grimace, peering at the blade.
Bifur rumbled a long sentence, and Dis grimaced again, then turned back to Bilbo. “He says that if Belladonna wanted to get married and stay in the game both, she could have married Bombur and had all the support in the world, and that I’m projecting. I don’t think I’m wrong, but he said you should hear it and that’s fair.”
#the hobbit modern heist AU#based off my consistent headcanon that Gandalf only came to Bag End looking for a burglar because he thought Belladonna was still alive#and when he found only her son who was a lot older than Gandalf remembered#he just pretended he hadn't lost track of time at all and getting Bilbo to do it was always the plan#because he'd already arranged for the dwarves to meet him there#my first love#because she's awesome
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i think i've finally come to understand why i'm so bad at communicating with friends 👍 at one point or another i've thought i was in love with every single person i've ever been friends with (for the most part, at least) because i don't expect other people to like me. OBVIOUSLY this is not true but platonic feelings are not dissimilar to romantic ones (baseline they're the same: you want to love and be loved by someone) but i always end up realizing that i'm not in love with them, just that they matter to me very much and i wouldn't know what do to w/o their presence in my life. BUT this brings me to facet number 2 of my awful communication skills: i hate it when things Get Real. i find myself retreating any time it seems like Something Could Change in my day-to-day life due to them being around and "forcing" the change. i run away from talking to one of my only irl friends on almost a daily basis bc i dread the idea of having to do anything she might want me to do. i think, at the end of the day, my problem might just be that i don't want to change... ANYWAYS
#i actually think the funniest example of this comes from the irl guy friend i think i actually DO have romantic feelings for#i never used to have feelings for him but i always kind of nursed the idea of such a thing (as i said i think i could be in love with most#friends before i realize i'm not - but with him specifically i never had a moment where i realized i... wasn't?) also my previously#aforementioned irl friend kind of insinuated he might have feelings for me or we might end up with one another and now every time i think#abt him i think about THAT so.#anyways a few years ago he came by my house and picked me up and we got ice cream and talked for hours bc we have a lot in common#and he actually manages to keep in contact with me despite how hard it is (how hard i make it) to talk to me on a consistent basis lol#like we don't talk a LOT but he's also the one who convinced me to contact my former other irl best friend that i hadn't talked to in 6 yrs#anyways back to what i was talking abt from a few years ago... it was 4 yrs ago at this point but after the ice cream - i got a job#and we talked a lot - he took me and my irl bff out but she had a HUGE fight with her bf and he tracked her down and it was. a disaster#but after that they made up (lucikly she broke up with him not too long after lmao) but me and him were put in the middle of it#and anyways we went to the mall with the annoying couple LMAO but we broke off and it was just... really nice to be with him?#and then we went to walmart and rented a movie and went back to my irl's apartment and i tried to dye his hair in her bathroom LMAO#and it just felt really natural to be close to him and whatnot. we really get along and i really don't dislike him and i'm not NOT into him#but yeah anyways a few days later he messaged me and asked if he could pick me up from work but i told him no because at that point i was.#afraid. because i had a dream that i had kissed hik and he turned into rick sanchez and drowned LMFAOOO IT SOUNDS RETARDED BUT.#like i think the point of the dream was that if i showed him that i had some kind of feelings for him he would change or die or disappear?#i always assume the worst. but yeah the dream literally put me off so bad that i cut contact with him for almost 2 years#because i was afraid of him and i was afraid of my life changing#idk. maybe i should give it a try now. i'm still scared but you never know.#i at least wanna say 'thanks' for him convincing me to message my friend from 6 years ago so 🤷♀️ who knows
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crushes your skull I LOVE DIONAAAAAA
#.1 am#i just love diona#i was obsessed the moment i came off my gi break came back and saw a friend with her and was like no way who is that.#and the moment i got her shes been my bestie ever since#the most consistent character in my team right under zhongli which is saying a lot bc he never leaves#even if shes not my strongest :3 shes saved my ass so much
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i do really wanna study the phenomenon of people going to multiple shows of an artist and getting multiple meet and greets with an artist and feeling very entitled to said artist to the point they genuinely believe they’re friends with the artist and i know it goes along with parasocial relationships but like oh my god
#the band camino genuinely has some of the nicest fans#how fucking ever there were these two girls that like super pissed me off today#and they were like first in line first in line which whatever if no consequence#me and my friend went up trying to figure out the vip line situation#weren’t helpful super mean said it was all one line but they didn’t know they were just GA (a lie btw)#and me and friend were standing there (not even in line) just trying to figure it out#and we’re talking to other people trying to figure it out no one could agree#eventually a sweet girl came and i think we figured it out with her she was so helpful and nice#(bevause i think it did seem like we were cutting the line because people were lining ip behind us#as we tried to figure it out but we were like no no we’re just trying to understand)#and then one of the meaner girls from earlier was like ‘i’m sure they’ll check where you’re standing#and the nice girl said ‘i will make sure they come around the building)#like super nice genuinely and it was great#but no one did come get us until like the VERY end and we were rushing to check in even though we were there and hour and a half early#but then the way it worked out we formed a new like after touring the stage and me and my friend happened to be up front#the two mean girls from earlier fully cut (went under a bar instead of walking with the vip coordinator) which again whatevee i don’t care#during this vaguely heard they’ve been to 36 shows (which like respect but you got vip at all of them? how lmao and love the boys but theyre#very consistent you’ve seen it once you’ve seen it respectfully and then after the meet and greet i was behind them by the stage and i think#they were talking about me and my friend since we got to go relatively early to meet them#but again literally the last people in the meet and greet entering line lmao but i was visibly shaking from anxiety and like it wasn’t worth#it in the moment then they got barricade and were SHOUTING the boys names and holding up signs for songs THAT HAD ALRWADY BEEN PLAYED AT#SHOW THEY WENT TO (i know because the girl literally said so) and singing very sexually to the boys trying to get their attention#and just were so unpleasant and felt above everyone else#and it’s like! y’all aren’t friends with them! theyre never gonna fuck you! they recognize you because you go to a lot of shows and worm#your way to the barricade because you know the ins and outs of the vip process#but if y’all were really friends you would not have to pay HUNDREDS of dollars to see them and talk to them#i have friends who work in the music industry i have friends that are artists i have made friends with artists AT shows#you’ll be put on the guest list or brought backstage through a back door or they will go out of their way to the audience to talk to you and#you will hang out outside of shows when you’re able to#if you are regularly paying an exorbitant amount of money for five seconds? you’re not friends lmao
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nowhere near a cute lil boop message so I'm over it but read tags for an epic prank my class pulled in 6th grade spoilers it doesn't go well the whole time
#okay so elementary used to go up to 6th grade here and for some reason my school decided to split the boys and girls up#the graduating class consisted of one sped class and the 'typical' classes were one boy class and one girl class#the girls started in our math teacher's class and she pranked us by tricking us into believing she'd gotten engaged with the science teacher#we shipped her with and when she dropped us off in the library we decided to get revenge and fake a fight#the librarian helped us plan it and my job was shielding my giggling friend when the teacher walked in#anyway we convinced her something terrible had happened and when we all started laughing she was cool#like yeah you got me back with the worst thing ever good job lol#then it was the math teacher's job to help us trick the englih teacher (halfway through the school day the classes swapped places)#little did we know that while we were orchestrating a fake post-fight environment the english teacher was dealing with an ACTUAL fight#in the boys class and when she came to pick us up instead of lauging along she got genuinely upset thinking both classes had had a fight#we were apologetic and she was just like...grateful we weren't actually fighting lol#anyway that's the story if you made it this far it finally occurred to me that the reason annette touches my face when im half asleep#is because i boop her nose all the time when she'd half asleep so honestly? karma
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The location of the sex shop I worked was a haven for spiders. We had tall ceilings and skylights and unused storage rooms. It was a spider paradise. We quickly sussed out which coworkers to call on in case of emergency. The Dorito lady was a solid ally for spiders but absolutely petrified of moths.
But there’s actually a hierarchy of fear. Most people don’t realize. The person least afraid is the one forced to deal with the bug in question. If coworker B was scared, but coworker A was petrified, well coworker B was gonna have to screw their courage to the sticking place because by the law of fear they were the most competent person on scene.
Thus enters Rick. Rick first appeared in the back storage room. This room doubled as a second bathroom so we went in on a semi frequent basis. The girl who’d gone in to pee shot out again gibbering with fear about the biggest spider she’d ever seen had just run across her boot.
We sicced Dorito lady on it. She returned, shaking her head. “He was squatting on a power cord where it plugs in. I couldn’t get a clean shot at Rick.”
“Rick?”
She shrugged. “Spiders that big need a name. Seemed like a Rick.”
Rick, freshly named, became a store menace. I’d normally say this was probably a case of multiple spiders being mistaken for one but everyone who encountered him swore up and down there could be no mistake. This spider was massive, fast, and distinct. A gladiator among arachnids.
I never encountered Rick. His exploits grew in the telling but the theme was consistent: no one could kill him. He’d hunker in places that no one could reach and dart away when a strike missed. He also chased off the more faint hearted, charging them in bold dashes. There could be no benign cup transplant to remove Rick from the premise. He was not leaving.
The saga of Rick continued for two months. Not seeing him was almost worse, a fearful wariness when going to the bathroom or stepping into quieter areas. I waited with dread, hoping my eventual run in would have me on shift with Dorito lady to protect me.
It was not to be. There was a girl the same who hated my one moment of singing that was absolute piss-herself scared of spiders. She’d slam straight into a panic attack and couldn’t think or speak. And so it was that one night on shift, I heard her scream.
It was unmistakable. I was in the front window turning off the open sign. Through an obstacle course of mannequins and lingerie I performed an acrobatic sprint out of the window, darting up to find her quivering at the front counter, fully crying. I radiated calm at her and said, “Just point.”
I knew it was Rick. Our destinies were intertwined and we had always been pulled toward the inexorable battle that was drawing nigh.
Her hand raised to point to our sandwich board sign at the front of the store. So Rick had the metaphorical high ground. There was no quick easy strike on the slanted signs surface.
I armed myself and marched into battle, my knuckles white on my chosen weapon. I would do this, because I must. Because there was no one else. And because I wanted to close and go home.
I saw Rick immediately and I honestly don’t think I’ve ever seen a bigger spider since. Outside of a tarantula, he was truly the most massive spider I’ve ever beheld outside a zoo enclosure or terrarium.
We regarded each other. Rick launched off the sign toward me and I stomped my foot reflexively, making him pause in his charge. Then I raised my weapon. Anything else, I believe Rick could have evaded. He’d bested most of the store thus far. But I had chosen chemical warfare.
I doused the shit out of that spider with cleaning spray, stunning him with a barrage of chemicals. While he froze, choking on the unexpected deluge, I dropped a paper towel over him. My foot came down.
I felt his exoskeleton crunch and I can feel it still to this day. The shattering was as of bones and I truly mourned that we had been forced into senseless war. If only he has cleaved tighter to the shadows. If only he’d crawled willing into a cup for relocation. I released a full body shudder of horror, fear, and adrenaline as I stepped back.
I took several quivering breaths. I donned a veneer of calm and tidied the battlefield of it’s corpse then went to reassure my coworker that all was well, while internally I still shook.
You fought well, Rick. I hope you sired many more monstrous children to haunt retail workers in the years to come. Rest in valor, you monster.
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