#the lighting ig is so effing weird

[grapecaseschoices]

[millenialfanfictionaddiction]

Hi ma, how have you been? I've been working on my driver's license even tho I'm 18 and tomorrow I have to drive with my driving instructor so I'm super nervous and can't sleep 😭😭😭.

In light of the new information on the haikyu movies. I can't say I regret forcing my family to watch haikyu subbed. My mom and brother liked it but they didn't quite get into it. Unfortunately for them my dad(48) got hooked. Ever since I mentioned there's a two part movie coming out he's been checking for updates whenever he can. Though that isn't the only anime I've gotten him to watch. I sat him down and showed him "Way of the Househusband" (which I highly recommend you watch if you haven't, it's subbed and dubbed on Netflix and I believe it's on Crunchyroll as well) and that probably has to be his favorite. My mom just thinks it's weird lol.

My parents aren't the best, but it's times like these that I enjoy. I'm always afraid of opening up to them, or just anyone in general, about my interests because I think they'll make fun of me or think lesser about me(thank you anxiety 💀) But I just find it funny how my dad got so into it especially since he's 48 and can have some "old fashioned" views.

I want to go to Japan at some point in time in my life (not because I like anime or anything like that, but because I like it for its art, fashion, food and culture) and I've talked about it with my parents a lot now that I'm out of highschool and my dad said if I go he wants to go with me. I've done lots of research on Japan and currently studying some of its art and artists so I've shared this information with my dad and it's some how got him interested as well. It's kind of bizarre to me how I managed to get this super close minded old man into someone who's more open minded and willing to try different things.

I'm not exactly sure where I'm going with all this but ig it's just, people can change? No matter how old they are? Or you can like try new things no matter how old you are, it's never too late.

That's kind of the thing I'm struggling to realize rn because I graduated highschool and now I have the rest of my life ahead of me. I have a vague idea of what I want to do but for me my career isn't a major concern. It's more my social life that is. I have very few friends and I feel like I don't have enough time. It's been a struggle for me to find relationships because it's hard for me to interact with people and get to know them. I've never been in a romantic relationship before and it's difficult seeing everyone around me in a relationship like that and I want that kind of connection with someone, but I'm not good at talking to people. I feel like I'm running out of time to be in a relationship like that even though I'm only 18.

I've been seeing people close to me in relationships since I was 12 and only three people have ever said they wanted to date me. I've never been on a date either. So it's does get under my skin sometimes and it is not a good feeling. I know I have time but man...

Any tips ma? Also, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to make this a tangent, but I just wanna get some advice and opinions from you.

Omg hi!!! I’m doing pretty good right now how are you??? I can totally understand the nervousness with driving! I’ve had my drivers license for almost 20 years 😅 (yeah that’s embarrassing) and the idea of someone watching me drive still makes me nervous but believe me, you’ve got this! Soon it will be a distant memory and you will have the freedom to drive as you please!!

Second, let me just say, I love when kids connect with their parents on anything! I’m sure your dad really appreciates you and him having Haikyu to watch. I have two kids and I love whenever my kids and I get into something together. It really makes us as parents feel so close with our kids.

Also, you are very right! People can change no matter their age. It’s not easy to change things but the point is that they work on them and are willing to make the effort needed! I’m really glad you are seeing positive changes and I really hope you and your dad are able to visit Japan!!

Now lastly, let me just say that what/how you are feeling about everything is VERY normal! Being someone between teenagerhood (is that a thing?) and “adulthood” is extremely hard. So many people act like when you turn 18 something automatically switches and you’ve become and adult but that’s not how any of that works. You’re in the age of discovery and finding yourself and this is one of many stages you’ll go through. Society acts as if we need to have our lives together by a certain age when in reality many of us millennials still have absolutely no idea what we are doing 😂 and that’s ok! I got married “young” and had kids “young”. Im also divorced and been through many different periods of my life. Heck, I didn’t start seeing a therapist until I was almost 30! The thing to remember is that there is no right or wrong in the journey of finding yourself. We all mess up, have regrets, wish we would have done things different, but that’s all part of life. If there’s one thing I know it’s that life doesn’t end as you get older, it actually gets so much better! Im way happier in my thirties than I ever was in my teens/twenties. My advice would be to just have fun! If you want to try dating, go on dates and see what happens. Just have fun! If you want to focus on a career, do it! If you want to travel the world, please send me a post card 😂 do what makes YOU happy. It’s really hard not to compare yourself to others because we all do it. We see someone having something we want and we get jealous. It’s natural! But always remember, lives are like icebergs, we only see the surface. So much is happening underneath that we will never see.

Ok my last comment I promise 😅. I’ve always been a person that keeps few people close and develop strong relationships with them. I have many people I talk to and consider “friends” but only 2 people I’d consider my best friends. Those are the ones I put my energy into, the ones who’ve developed deep connections with. Making friends isn’t easy and I’ve always been a pretty outgoing person, so I usually just go for it if I want a friend 😅 however I totally realize many people don’t work like that. My best advice would be to find friends who have things in common with you. Like one of my best friends I found on Tumblr and we connected over writing! The best thing about the online world is that it’s given us the opportunity to meet people from all over and form friendships! Do what makes you feel comfortable and have fun with it!

I hope some of this at least helps! I’m definitely more of like an advice columnist in my response 😂 thank you so much for reaching out and good luck on your driving test!!

[marengogo]

Silver Lining - What If #2 : I Caught You Bae Bae! [PART 1]

Dreamers - by Jungkook of BTS  [Music from the FIFA World Cup Qatar 2022 Official Soundtrack]

[Music is a very big part of my life and I’m MOSTLY INCAPABLE of writing without music, so I just thought I'd share what I am listening to while writing this]

🐺 — 🐺 — 🐺—

This week has been a bit messy hasn’t it? And to top the madness all off, though I’m sure we are all happy to see that JK is doing well, thanks to his IG updates, it would have been great to “hear” from Jimin as well 🥹at this point is like, I know you working but, help a sister out you know? Like we be “worrying”/hella selfish here in this neck of the woods, like … jimiii↗️↘️iiin, I MISS SO MUCH IT HURTS 😭. So I thought I’d stop by to write something … cute me thinks? I think we can all use some fluffy, tender and light STD: Speculations, Thoughts and Delulu. In fact, the idea for this post was the result of me reading this post → Jikook After Tokyo by @wingzie. So welcome to another long ass post! 

Though wingzie’s post was clearly about both JM and JK, I haven’t been able to shake off the image of Jimin blushing/being shy. I’ve always felt like Park Jimin is the kind of human being who, at least until circa pre-2018, would instantly wear his heart on his sleeve full-throttle. As of present, he seems to be much more in control with regards to the majority of emotions that he can control, sometimes even resorting to smart talk/ cynicism as a substitute as well. But oh boi, it used to be that we were always made aware of any kind of emotion he felt from little happiness and ecstasy to pet-peeves and straight up being bothered.

The only time we are now privy of a non-controlled emotion from Jimin is when he blushes/gets shy. There are infinite reasons why different people get shy. Some people get shy out of being complimented, some people get shy just being in the proximity of the person they maybe fancy, some people get shy when put on the spot, etc etc etc. When it comes to JM, what in my opinion, seems to be his shy trigger are situations where he REALLY doesn’t know what to do. So he “blushes” or becomes “shy”, so to say, and in his case it seems to happen mostly on 2 particular scenarios:

He is out of depts, not in his element, doesn't want us to know, and he is well aware that it will show on his face.

He hasn’t yet processed his feelings with regards to a certain situation. Hence, he hides his face so that we don’t see how he is feeling in that moment, before he himself can actually process what it is that he is even feeling.

Now, though JM has admitted on many occasions that he is indeed the shiest member of the band, people who are just focused on his performance persona, or just observe him within his comfort zone (which is for example anything with his members RUN BTS, BON VOYAGE etc) will not notice this side of him all, in fact they might even think that he is “capping”.

However, if you keep a closer eye on our dancing fallen-angel-who-actually-still-has-wings, you’ll pick up on his shy moments, which are usually a direct reaction to something that is happening or just happened. To begin with, all members LOVE to “flirt”with him you can harmlessly flirt with someone if you are close to said person and their S/O , or just pull him into “weird situations”, maybe just so they can see that cute blushing face he does. Other known Personalities also love complimenting him and in general JM just really gets flustered by regular attention and simple compliments. It really happens quite often, NGL he is so freaking cute, he knows it but can’t really handle his own cuteness, which makes everyone else act stupid: HE IS EFFING CUTE FAM, like the following:

BUT then … THEN … Then there is another type of JM shy/blushing reaction …

I hereby present to you the UJE: Unknown JK Effect.

The UJE is a reaction that is brought about for reasons that are for the most part unknown, or the actual cause itself is known but the reaction is still bizarre, meaning that in said particular moment, or instance, JK is doing absolutely nothing suspicious or worth blushing/being shy over, yet JM can’t seem to be able to control his reactions and turns into a shy/blushing mess. 

Back in the day, when JM was a little younger, and much more impulsive, it would even cause his own self to be disoriented for a second or two. For example when, during the Hondgae Fansign on February 26, 2017, JM placed his hand on JK’s neck and kissed it. I have no idea what made him do something so bold, but his following, momentary, lack of orientation probably was a visual representation of his brain going: “... Yo Bro! Whacchu doin’ Bro?! You ayte there Bro?!” Jin’s reaction was PRICELESS, even though, TBH with you, JK’s reaction was the MOST PECULIAR, but that is a story for another post … (The moment is starts at 2:33).

BUT, moving, as I kept looking into this “phenomenon” there seems to have been a few instances, 3 to be exact, where the UJE might have actually been directly connected to moments in the “Jikook Timeline” where there was a change in dynamic or something significant happening. Now, as always, the following are all MY speculation, MY opinion, hence, tread with caution:

INSTANCE 1: 2015 - “KOOLIET” WAKES UP

2015 is the year where JK seems to have decided “You know what? Fuck it!”. There are various accounts of the boys letting us know that JK is different on, as opposed to off camera, and at this point in time, from the different VLOGS, interviews and BANGTAN BOMBS we know that JM and JK are actually quite close. The whole JM chasing JK, JK ranking JM last, etc was regrettably all meant to provide entertainment in accordance to the entertainment norms of the time.

However, our Bangtan Boys had always been the exception to the rule, from the very conception. These are 7 humans, who start with following rules at the very start because they didn’t understand “the game” they were playing but even then, they already had very strong personalities and were very much set on their ways, beliefs and ideas and that's probably why BANG PD chose them to begin with. He was REALLY hoping that by choosing extraordinary beings, with the potential for greatness and with some sort of guidance, they would achieve something GREAT. Actually, I sometimes wonder when exactly was it that BANG PD had that moment where he went: “Shiiiiit … they the real real REAL deal!”

But as always, I digress … Back to the point! In the same way Jin decided to throw away his assigned “mysterious handsome character” in my opinion Tae never really acknowledged his character to begin with LOL, eventually JM became ready to let his true self out, hence, renounced the “macho unrequited-love character.” But, don’t go trippin’, JK didn’t snooze either. He sure saw and felt the change, INSTANTLY, and went “Ayte then. Imma also go for mine then. With all due respect, I respect all of y’all Hyungs, but … Imma need one of y’all hyung to get one thing straight  😬🥴 … 😏” 

And so JK got to work, and JM …JM … JM was caught off guard. Because the Golden Maknae started publicly changing the game, apparently, without letting him know. All of a sudden, JK publicly didn’t dislike him, JK publicly thought that he was handsome, JK was publicly having “little fits” when JM was maybe interacting with other members. JK made his message REALLY clear and even though JM might have been a bit resistant at the beginning, as he began to embrace the change and perhaps navigate through what these changes would entail, JM shyly enjoyed the moments and at the end of 2015, he seems to have given it whatever IT was a chance and began to go with JK’s flow.

As a quick reminder: I absolutely do not believe the whole “JM fell first but JK fell harder” and if you do, absolutely no shade on you; to each their own. I’m a believer in:

Cupid was already there calmly planning their love story but JK was like “yeah, so, I believe in fate and all, but, I’m not really big on waiting so, yeah, see you at the finish line, ayte? Ayte! 🏃‍♂️🏃‍♂️🏃‍♂️💨”

Aaaaand … END of PART 1 - It’s hanging out with friends-time so going out for a while but I will be back later today and post PART 2. Make sure to stream DREAMERS ⚽️💜.

Always respectfully your 🫰🏾,

Marengo.

[fanficmemes]

For cursed ask Sunday

I couldn't decide if I should put the Fandom because they get up to some shit over there so ill loosely code it.

So character R is really into slugs and snails, she likes them to crawl on her and is like obsessed with the feel of the slime. She gets a job at a pet store and eventually gets to put in a pet snail section and gets some snails that live there ect. One day character B shows up with a snail and is enamored with it and wants to keep it. R helps him get everything he needs to keep it, while noting how hot he is. He keeps coming back and buying stuff, she notices his hands somebody has extra food, Yada Yada. Then one day B doesn't show, R is distraught. B shows up later looking haggard, asks R to go home with him. She agrees. Must be the, ahem, animal magnetism. They get to the house, B takes her down to his basement. R notes how strange the lighting etc. is. Decides not to care. She then sees a bunch of snails and I think slugs, everywhere. The whole basement is like a terrarium. In all honestly I think I skimmed the next part because idk whats going on. Somehow R is naked and letting all the snails and slugs climb all over her and she's getting turned on. I'm really sorry I can't remember the details here because I think they would be worth writing but I think my eyes glazed over to save me. B confesses to being a were-slug and transforms or whatever. R is super into this and they begin to have sex on the floor, the snails move to avoid death ig. R decides this is not a big enough sin so she asks B if we would like to try it hanging from the ceiling. Personally I would have taken that the wrong way but were-slug B is hyped (leopard slugs, im not explaining you curse yourselves). So he gets to work building a slime rope to hang from and R hoists herself up him and thats how they go at it from then on. After I think he turn back to a human and they have a lovey dovey talk.

I honestly have read some weird shit and this didn't seem bad but idk man it just rubbed me weird. I have some really effed up ones I could share but this one has been in my brain, telling me to submit it so here you go.

This wasn’t very cursed except yes it was but no it wasn’t 3/10