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throped · 1 year ago

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Never Glory - Chapter 4

Tom Riddle x reader

TW: blood, gore, death and all that stuff

As I gaped at the giant structure in front of me, I realized how much it had changed since the last time I had been here. It was quite the sight to say the least.

"Come on, lets go!" Molly spoke as Lily and I followed behind her. "So Daena, do you like our school so far?" Lily asked. "Of course, I love it! It feels like I've been here so long!" I exclaimed, feeling optimistic about this year. This is only my second time but I feel that this year will go by smoothly.

Molly and Lily told me that they that they were headed for the Great Hall as I needed to go to Headmaster Dippet to get sorted into my house. I waved goodbye and headed the direction the Headmaster's office was in. I remember this place like it was yesterday.

I finally ended up reaching Headmaster Dippet's office and slowly opened the doors and saw an old man sitting on a large armchair. He suddenly stood up while I watched and smiled at him. This must be Headmaster Dippet. I had never personally met him so I had to make a good first impression.

"Ah you must be Daena L/N, we've been expecting you. I'm Headmaster Dippet," Headmaster Dippet spoke. "Yes, that's me, Daena L/N" I said, having my 'name' smoothly slip out of my tongue. "We have got your books and have a schedule sorted out depending on your house," the Headmaster said, "now if you don't mind, we'll put the sorting hat on you to decide your house. There is Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw and Slytherin. The hat decides where you'll belong."

"Of course, Sir," I replied with while grinning. Headmaster Dippet grabbed the sorting hat from a shelf and placed it upon my head.

"Ah, L/N I see, there is quite a future awaiting you. You have a knack for hiding secrets I can tell, especially now Daena L/N," the sorting hat mentioned. I gulped, knowing that the hat knows my real name. I just hope it doesn't say it out loud.

"You are definitely brave and courageous. Would I see you in a library reading books that peak your interest? Yes, that is definite. But patience is not one of your virtues. Although, I see that you are cunning to prove yourself and ambitious. You'll do anything to get to your goal. So perhaps, the best place to put you in is SLYTHERIN!" The sorting hate howled.

Great, Slytherin. I actually kind of like that though. Means I've changed these past few centuries. I do wish upon a star that maybe I'll find the love of my life here. Not likely though. I smiled at Headmaster Dippet and said, "well, guess I'm in Slytherin."

"I assure you that Slytherin is a great house for you and if you do happen to have any questions, please do not hesitate to ask me or the teachers," Headmaster Dippet said, sensing some worry in me even though there was not. "Of course, I will. Thank you, Sir," I said, smiling once again. "Great, that's all. Now our Slytherin prefect, Mr. Riddle, will assign you your dorm and pass you your schedule. He should be in the Slytherin common room. You may leave now," Dippet said. I nodded and walked out of his office.

Now I needed to find Riddle and ask him where my freaking dorm is. Goodness. I wouldn't see Lily and Molly since dinner is probably nearly over and there is simply no point on going to the Great Hall anymore. So I headed to the Slytherin common room to find Riddle.

The name 'Riddle' suddenly clicked to me. Isn't that the name the girls in my compartment were talking about? I hope not, because that would mean that those girls were in Slytherin which would cause a little trouble for me.

As I reached the entrance, I realized that I had forgotten to ask Headmaster Dippet the common room password. I'm such an idiot, I thought to myself. Merlin, I guess I'll just have to stay here now. I leaned against the frame of the portrait sighing, waiting for someone to come in or out. As I was taking in the surroundings, my eyes fell upon a word that was engraved on the side of the opposite portrait I was leaning on. "Pureblood?" I said out loud as I read off the engraving.

To my surprise, the frame opened and revealed what I assumed the Slytherin common room was. Hm, better keep 'pureblood' in mind.

I looked around to see green sofas and a fireplace in the far middle of the rom. To be honest, this is better than the Gryffindor common room. Maybe it was more my style. I really couldn't say. Just as I was taking in my surroundings, a creak could be heard behind me and there stood a tall brunette boy.

I turned around and looked at a bag on his cloak that said 'Tom Riddle'. Well, I guess this is who Headmaster Dippet was referring to. The brunette looked at me as though he was mad someone was in here. "Are you Tom Riddle?" I asked, furrowing my eyebrows.

"Yes. Now if you don't mind, I would like for leave the common room and go back to the Great Hall," his monotone voice spoke. So much for trying to be nice, I thought. I let out a scoff and said, "well, if YOU don't mind, Headmaster Dippet asked me to talk to you about my dorm and schedule. I'm Daena L/N, I transferred from Ilvermorny," I said, returning the same tone he spoke in.

"I see, Headmaster did tell me that a new student must be attended to. But he also said that he did not tell you the common room password and for me to provide it for you. So I have to ask, how did you get in?" Riddle questioned.

"You see, some bloody idiot carved the password out on the side of the frame so I didn't do anything illegal if that's what you're trying to ask me," I said, assuming the worst of what he could've thought. He paused while nodding his head, probably noting how observant I was. Didn't say much did he? But he was definitely charming. I could see that he was quite snobbish though. And rude.

"I would appreciate it if you would show me to my dorm now," I calmly spoke. He weirdly eyed me as I walked near the side of the common room that said 'girls'. What? Was he expecting me to swoon over him or something? Certainly not. Not yet at least-

"Right. You are in dorm 3 and you share it with four other girls. Here is your schedule," Riddle said as he handed me a paper. I mustered up a small smile and watched him exit the common room.

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These chapters are DEFINTELY going to get edited sooner or later so yeah. This is a story where he will have to get used to you and slowly but surely fall in love. I really don't enjoy stories where someone falls for someone and suddenly changes their way. THIS IS A SELF INTEREST BY THE WAY, "Daena" is simple an ALAIS (another name). Trust me, Y/N will be used after you/she decides that it is time to reveal it to her friends and Riddle.

Thanks for reading!

#tom riddle #tom riddle x reader #voldemort #tom marvolo riddle x reader #lily evans #harry potter #james potter #ron weasely #hermione granger

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thoughtsaladblog · 9 months ago

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Crying in a Cafe

Is this the result of PMS or is it because I've somehow been reduced to a lunatic who's crying over a narcissist I met a few months ago. Talk about going for a guy who's like your father! I thought I avoid men with qualities like my father like the plague and somehow here I am, crying in a cafe because of a damn narcissist.

I keep running in the same circle, waiting for him to call, sending him some lame meaningless message in the hopes he would reply and then being disappointed when he falls short of my expectations. But then he calls and I talk and I enjoy that little bit of grace he gives me, and I'm back at square one. Trust me, when I say, I'm disgusted by how pathetic I am.

It's always the same, I fall for an idiot, believing them to be half decent and then I realise they aren't, but I somehow can't wrap my mind around that obvious reality. So I run around in circles, trying to prove my own gut wrong. The thing with Morally Grey was honestly that we connected on a level that I haven't connected with anyone else before- at least not since Chonil. And to say this fucked with me is an understatement. Suddenly I was all excited and ready to give him a chance- I wanted more of that feeling of being understood and being able to be my true self with someone...It had been so long since I was able to do that. And that's exactly why this crash and burn is fucking with my head in this way.

But I think I'm stuck on an image of a person who no longer exists- either because they never did and all that was shown was a farce, or because he has since changed. Either way, dude's not the same but I'm hung up on the dude I spent hours talking to in December. I need to come to terms with the fact that he isn't real and probably never was.

But also, this could be a good eye-opener for the red flags which I so conveniently ignored, simply because I enjoyed our conversations. Suddenly his narcissistic traits, wrapped in that glittering veil of misogyny are looming large and it's becoming harder to ignore... Not to mention the fact that, the dude seems to be stuck in a Peter Pan Syndrome.

The truth is, I see all this and know all this- as I always do when it comes to men- but the more glaring truth is my stupid inability to come to terms with it. I sit and make excuses while pining over what is clearly a work of fiction. If only I could have this reality blinking in front of me in large red block letters, every time I think of dialing up the pathetic and texting him first or calling him, or worse yet, obsessing over him. A good slap on the face every time any one of these takes place, would certainly do the trick... I wonder who I can put in charge of it?

The more sensible solution is to distract myself to the point where I forget- and mixology lessons are sounding fun... but one look at the crowd that enrolls has my obnoxious, and high strung personality cringing. I know, I know.. I need to be taken down a peg or two. Orrrr... I just go there and do what I gotta do for two months and get my ass out of there... and hopefully to Aussie or somewhere where I can meet people who fit into my circle? I guess time will tell.

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pebblysand · 2 years ago

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[on arseholes on the internet]

i received an ask this morning which i rage-deleted but upon reflexion, i've decided to address it.

this ask was from the person with whom i argued in the comments section of castles yesterday.

context:

now, if you don't have the context, feel free to check it out, but i also don't want to shed more light on this stupidly silly debate on the canon-ness of castles itself - i already feel bad that i spent a day (and a half, now) addressing this person's comments when i already have a backlog half a dozen asks and about 20 comments in my queue. it gives the impression that arseholes (yes, i will come back to this word in a minute) are more deserving of my time than people who are genuine and kind, which is obviously not right. however, on the other hand, there are things that need to be said, here, so i'm going to give this another hour of my time, before forever putting it to rest.

first, i want to state for the record that the ask this person sent was polite, in the way that there were no insults or name-calling. they were simply annoyed that i called them an idiot and an arsehole on here (rightfully claiming that they never called me names) and that i blocked them on ao3. they explained that they'd apologised, that they never meant to be rude (their initial message would have sounded different in their native language), that they had tried to bow out of the conversation a number of times, and that i was the one who'd kept it going.

now, i'm not going to re-do yesterday's match. their first message was terribly rude, called a detail in castles "unforgivable" and "wrong on so many levels" - i think that's pretty plain to see. i also think it's pretty clear that they then decided to engage in an intense nit-picking exercise of everything i said, determined as they were to prove to me that i got canon wrong. their tone and messages were of the kind where as an author, if you don't respond, it looks like you're refusing to address criticism and if you do respond, you continue to feed the behaviour, so either way - you can't get it right. i chose to respond, and am again choosing to respond here, for reasons i will explain below.

my tl;dr point:

the reason i chose to respond, and the reason i am writing this post today is this: i am so sick and so tired of people getting away with shitty behaviour on the internet, without facing the consequences of their actions. i am sick and tired of people saying rude things and getting away with excuses such as "english isn't my native language" or "i didn't mean to be rude." i am so sick and tired of people saying: you don't get to call me an arsehole because i didn't call you one. as i said in one of my replies yesterday: "you mean this aggressively and thus, get responses that fit your energy."

more details on my point:

the thing is: english isn't my native language either. additionally, i am french, a country in which social conventions as to rudeness are very different to the english speaking world. yet, i have never, in my life, displayed the kind of behaviour that this user displayed yesterday. i have received plenty of critical comments and asks about castles, and have never felt the need to block someone. to take an hp example, as i've always said: fleur isn't rude because of her behaviour itself, which would be quite acceptable in france. she's rude because she refuses to adapt and listen to the social conventions and cues of the place she is in. this is a little bit of the same problem.

let me tell you: i agonised yesterday over the decision of blocking this user. that is because as i said to some of you in private, i know castles is controversial, i know it needs to be discussed, and i never want to be seen as stifling the conversation or refusing to take criticism because i think criticism and dissent is the cornerstone of our society. i don't think it's wise or healthy for me as a person to create my own little kingdom where everyone agrees with me, and everyone thinks i'm "the shit," blocking out everyone else. sure, my ego would be pleased, but we already exist in most aspects of our lives in such a strong environment of confirmation bias that i would never purposefully seek to make it worse. dissent is tough, especially on a work where you've poured your heart and soul in for years, i'm not going to deny that - but it is necessary to us as humans, living in a functional society. at least, it is to me. this is why i always respond to all of my comments, even the critical ones, and why i encourage you to tell me if something in my fics sounds insensitive or wrong to you. i don't necessarily like it. and yes, i find criticism crushing. but, we are dealing with pretty delicate topics, and i accept that there are other voices than mine, in this debate. it can be hard, but it is necessary.

however, there seems to be a subset of readers on the internet who increasingly view fanfic writers as influencers, or professional content creators, which we are not. because, majorly, we are not paid for the work we do. and yes, this matters. because, what makes criticism in an actual job fair, what justifies a certain degree of expected perfection, is financial compensation. in the world that we live in, which is (for better or for worse) a capitalist hellscape, time is money. and, as i am not being paid, i do not have the time to take this fic to a degree of perfection that i would, if i were. and i do not have the time to deal with nit-picking and rudeness in the same way i would if this was my full-time job. to give you an example: in order to finish this last batch of castles chapters, i have already been working almost all of my weekends, for the past three months. for the past six weeks, i have been either going to bed or waking up at 5 AM multiple times a week. all the time that i'm spending writing this post this morning, i will pay for tonight by having to work overtime to do what i need to do with castles. and, yes, of course, it's a hobby. of course, i enjoy it. of course, it is my choice. but that does not mean it is not work. and, if i could charge for this work, perhaps i wouldn't have to wake up early, or work nights as well as days, because this would be my full-time job. and, if this was my job, i would perhaps have more hours to devote to canon-checking, which seemed to be the major issue, here.

so, when commenters come at fic writers nit-picking through our work and tearing apart everything we say/write: yes, it is rude. and, yes, we have a right to be offended. because, your refusal to tolerate a healthy level of imperfection in a work that you consume for free frankly does my head in. the audacity you have to come into my comment section to argue with me on details also does my head in. for example, dear commenter, i will be honest (as i was yesterday) and say this: yes, i forgot that lucius malfoy was trying to break into the wizengamot in ootp. because, i am not paid to know the books by heart. and, i am not perfect. also, i don't care. this is so far from the bigger picture of the fic that you are miles away from the bloody frame. yet, i still gave you my time, on my irl work break, and gave you a very valid response on how i would make that work and yet still have castles function within the world of canon. you still refused to see light. this is not a polite discussion, anymore, it's an exercise in proving you are right.

because, i have to ask: what is the project, here? what is the end goal, if not to be rude? i don't believe you want me to change the fic, or at least you never said you did. this chapter that you are referring to is over six months old. you never said anything before. you didn't even comment on the chapter in question. this is not criticism with a point. this is not criticism to be constructive or better me as a human. this is criticism where, per your own admission, you read this blog, saw that i had put a lot of work in creating the wizarding justice system, and purposefully then came into my comments section to tell me: regardless of all the work you put in, here is this one detail you forgot. here's where i got you. here's where you're not good enough. this, on a work with which you have never interacted before (despite the fact that you've been reading my blog for months, it seems), and never said one positive thing about. and, you want me to just sit there and take it. you want me to accept it, send you flowers, and say: congratulations, you got me! this is not entirely compliant with the canon established by a series of books that are probably over 1, 000, 000 words long! 🥳 then, you tell me i don't get to call you an arsehole? i beg to differ. that is arsehole behaviour, and i will call it out.

which brings me to my last point: "you mean this aggressively and thus, get responses that fit your energy."

i have seen in the past few years (and this transcends fanfiction) a trend amongst most of us, saying: "don't feed the trolls." "don't respond, don't engage." plenty of people told me that yesterday, too. "they're just a troll, block them and move on." and, i don't blame them. i appreciate not everyone always has the energy to fight (and i definitely have let certain things slide in the past) all the time. but, not fighting this kind of behaviour, not calling it out, not responding to comments that clearly invite a response, allows people like this to continue to exist unchallenged and unchecked, under the pretext that it's the internet, and trolls are just trolls. i disagree. because, this user exhibiting this behaviour towards me is one thing. i'm a big girl, i can deal. but what if they go on the fic of a fifteen year old writer who's just starting out and do the same thing? what if they come at someone in my comments section sharing very personal details (as this has happened in the past), and go and question their experience? this conversation yesterday crushed my spirits. i didn't want to write anymore. and this is unfair to the dozens of other readers reading this fic. it's unfair to me. it's unfair to all the people who provided feedback/concrit in a much more polite and thoughtful way before this.

i hate this silencing culture that you shouldn't respond to hate, arseholes, or trolling behaviour on the internet. it only makes the victims feel more isolated, makes them question their own sanity, and allows this kind of behaviour to propagate. i'm not writing this post about this incident in particular, which is quite tame and only a fandom hiccup in the grand scheme of things, but about all the hate, and moronic behaviour that i see online, every day, that is just allowed to exist in our space. i hate this whole argument of: "well, i didn't mean to be rude," or, "well, i apologised." because unlike the catholic church, i don't think you can get away with being an arsehole just by apologising. being rude, then telling the person you were rude to that you didn't mean it like that, and that they have no right to call you an arsehole, invalidates their feelings. makes them feel like "well, this user didn't mean it rudely and thus, i'm overreacting. my reaction is the wrong one." that's gaslighting. and, it drives me fucking nuts.

never saying anything positive about a work, then showing up one random day to nit-pick flaws is arsehole behaviour. it's completely different from being a regular commenter, and reader, and pointing out a discrepancy, flaw, bad characterisation or treatment of a theme. i don't force people to comment or interact with me, of course, i understand some people just don't want to/don't feel comfortable, and that's their right. but, then, when you drop in with rudeness and criticism as a first interaction, you cannot reasonably believe it'll be well-received, especially when it's phrased argumentatively. (as i indicated in one of my responses yesterday, there were ways this question could have been worded much more respectfully.)

and, don't get me wrong, being an arsehole is a god-given right, but as i've said before, the hypocrisy of pretending you're not/didn't know/the author is overreacting is what does my head in. as a lawyer, i've been an arsehole to many people in the past, sometimes it's kind of my job, but i've always owned it. i've sometimes apologised for means of delivery, or context, but i've never been like "oh, i didn't mean it," cause of course i did. words are a weapon and you need to understand that using weapons generally triggers a right of retaliation. frankly, i'm kind of done with pretending it doesn't. engaging in arsehole behaviour triggers the unfortunate consequence of being called one. publicly. even if you didn't "mean" to be one.

so, to all of my fic writers friends out there: fight the arseholes. if you don't have the will/strength, just message me and i will do it for you. there's well-phrased, interesting and engaging concrit, and then there's this. as my lord and saviour lily allen says: "look me up and down, i don't make a sound, but if there's one thing i want you to learn is if you're gonna play with fire, then you're gonna get burnt."

with lots of love,

pebblysand.

#fic #writing #castles #asked and answered

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honey-sweeeet · 3 years ago

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everything reminds me of her; oikawa tooru

(cross posted from my ao3)

cw; major character deaths, seijoh four gets drunk af

Oikawa's closest friends wonder why they haven't met you before, even though you're his wife.

word count; 4.5 k

My friends are idiots. They're annoying, and one of them has terrible tastes in restaurants. But I do suppose that I love them, even after leaving high school several years ago. Iwaizumi is still as bull-headed and blunt as always - but then again he is the only friend I regularly speak to. Mattsun and Maki are as lazy as ever, laid back and sprawled into the leather seats of the booth. And they are also drunk, or at least very well on their way to being drunk.

At this point, we're several hours deep into this reunion, and the sky outside the windows is a murky black. I know you would love this, you're such a night owl. You'd be dragging me out of the restaurant and kissing me under street lamps if you'd come with us. I would put money on it that Iwa would have liked you to talk to at the meal, because for some reason you have a way of coaxing him into the less boorish version of himself.

What a talent you have, darling.

I really want to go home, I'm tired and I want a shower so fucking bad. My knee is aching after this morning's run and I know I will be hungover tomorrow. Mattsun has a terrible influence over us all - he can make even the most sober man drink himself stupid. It's just one of his (very few) skills. Fuck, I want to go to bed.

Yawning, I rub at my temples and grind the heels of my hands into my eyes. The world swims in patches of colour when I lower my hands, and I don't know how much of the vertigo is because of the alcohol in me.

"Hey, Oikawa." Maki sighs, leaning his head in the palm of his hand. I just want to go to bed. I should really start making my way out of here - get a taxi or something. I don't think I can walk it home like this. You'd be so mad if you saw me staggering through Miyagi, absolutely wasted. I'll get a taxi, my love. I'll get myself home safe.

"What?" I reply, splaying my palm over the top of my glass to stop Mattsun from refilling it with whatever it was he has us drinking.

"So- when can we meet your wife? She came over with you right?"

"She's busy."

"C'mon dude. You always say that. I'm starting to think she's not even real."

"She's fucking real, you idiot," I grumble, flashing them the wedding ring on my left hand. "You've seen pictures of us together."

"Yeah, but how do we know they aren't photoshopped or something?" Mattsun pipes up, topping up Maki's glass. "Maybe Argentina has sent him... you know." He whispers, making gestures hinting at me being the crazy one here. Yeah fucking right. At least I don't work in a morgue.

"For real though, Tooru, why haven't we met her before? You literally have a wife and nobody has seen her in person." Maki replies.

"I've met her." Iwa finally speaks, and fuck am I glad he's proving that I'm not the maniac at the table. "I went to the wedding. She's... really nice."

"Are you telling me Mr Anger-Issues went to the wedding and we weren't invited?" Maki sputters in shock.

"There weren't even twenty people at our wedding." I sigh. "Us, parents and siblings, and then just the best man and maid of honour."

"And you're telling me you chose Iwa as your best man?" Mattsun deadpans.

"The fuck's that supposed to mean?" Hajime scowls, pushing his glass over to be refilled.

"I'm just observing you're not the cheeriest fellow out there." Mattsun grins, eyes almost completely glazed over with alcohol. I am not carrying him home.

"How did you meet her then? At least tell us that if we can't ever see this fabled wife." Maki sighs.

"We met in Argentina," I admit, taking a mouthful of my drink.

I am in a state of embarrassment so intense that my awkward teenage years have nothing on this moment. Not even being beaten by Kageyama of all fucking things was as mortifying as I currently feel. Maybe I should never have moved here, perhaps Argentina isn't for me. All of that passion and fire I had after watching Japan vs Argentina with Iwa means absolutely fuck all to me right now because I have been bested by Spanish.

My teammate is useless too. We're both fucking useless. Neither of us are native speakers, and although I've been practising - I really have been taking those lessons - it's all worth shit because I'm standing in a supermarket and I can't find what I need.

"Next time someone else can do the shopping," I grunt, staring at my teammate who just stares at the shopping list in awe. Why they sent the two foreigners to do the grocery run for the communal kitchen, I really don't know. Someone is going to pay for this later. My embarrassment does not come cheap.

"Excuse me," I call out, and I swallow whatever pride I believe is left in my body. The young woman passing us by stops in her tracks, shifting her basket over to her other hand. "Would you be able to help us?"

"Of course, what do you need?"

She is gorgeous. I don't really put much weight in beauty, because I've seen beautiful people do ugly things, but she is beautiful in a way that I really could not begin to describe. Seriously, it's been years and I still can't put my finger on what made that stranger so beautiful when I first saw her. You've always been beautiful - inside and out. But fuck you really had me speechless for a moment when I ran into you that first day. You never mentioned it, but I know I looked like a teenage boy in that moment. A real fish out of water.

"We're looking for something." I finally manage to stutter out.

"What is it?"

"...Fuck." I mutter to myself. "This is so embarrassing. It's the- fuck. It's the stuff to drink?" I manage to get out. I can immediately tell by the look on your face that my Spanish is abysmal. I need so much more practice. I start making wild hand gestures, and I hear myself slip into Japanese briefly. You look as if you're watching someone run away from an asylum, shock and humour melting together on your pretty features.

"I don't speak Japanese." You laugh, trying to track my hand gestures.

"Oh god- the... the white stuff?" I have no idea how to convey to you what I need to get across. You stared at me like I was a madman, and I don't blame you really. My teammate is looking at me with a red face, clearly on the verge of losing it and just laughing at me. I don't know why he's laughing when he's even more useless than I am right now. He shrugs at me, as if he wants to try get across what we need.

"The cow water." He blurts out.

I hate him, so much.

You were frozen on the spot for that moment, and it will forever be ingrained into my mind. That instant where I thought you were going to turn and walk away, call us crazy and storm out of the aisle. But then you burst out laughing, uncontrollable, beautiful laughter. You were standing there, laughing at me, laughing at my teammate. But I found it the most endearing thing ever.

"Milk! You want Milk!" You cry, your Spanish broken up with laughter. There are tears in your eyes.

"Yes. Milk." I sigh.

"I'm sorry for laughing. That caught me off guard. It's down that way." You wheeze, pointing a few aisles over.

"Thank you."

Tired does not begin to fully describe how I feel right now. I am more than tired, I am wiped out, exhausted, beaten down. I am weary, and every other synonym for 'tired' that exists in every language. Frankly, I feel like shit. Why I decided that I should go for a run after practice to cool down? I will never fully understand my own motives either. To make everything that bit worse, it rained - which wasn't in the forecast because if it was I'd have just hit the University gym instead of getting drenched about a mile and a half from the team's apartment block.

Everything sucked. Maybe Iwa would still be awake, California isn't that much of a time difference. I need someone to complain to, and badly. For some reason, none of my teammates seems appealing options - perhaps because I see them every day of the week, morning until night. Unless I was crashing at someone else's place after a lacklustre party, or on some form of trip, I never escaped them. I mean, they're good guys, but a man just needs his space sometimes. I'm only human after all, despite how awe-inspiring I am.

Thankfully, the lobby of my apartment is empty. I can keep my headphones in, not obligated to make polite conversation with a complete stranger. That was until a hand shot out to catch the elevator door. I snapped my hands out of my pockets, wedging my bicep into the gap to force the doors open again.

"Thanks for that."

It's you. What the ever-loving fuck are you doing here?

"Hey - I know you don't I?" You ask, pushing back soaked hair from your face. "Did you get your... milk?"

I know you want to laugh at me, and I will not take the bait. "And also some more Spanish lessons," I grumble back, uncomfortable from my track jacket sticking itself to my shoulders. You do laugh, but I'm not fully convinced it's at me. I get the feeling it's more you laughing with me and I feel some of my irritation begin to slide away.

For some reason, the world decides to punish me. Or maybe it's rewarding me for something - I can't immediately tell. Because you get off the elevator at my floor, and head in the opposite direction down the corridor. I am blessed with seeing you regularly (despite the fact I still do not know your name) but I am now also cursed with the knowledge that you may catch me in one of my more embarrassing moments - especially considering the states I'd staggered back in whenever the guys decided they wanted to crash a campus party.

It keeps up for weeks - I'm not sure why I'm surprised, you live at the other end of my corridor - but I can't seem to stop running into you after that day. You're suddenly always in the elevator when I'm heading down to the gym with one of my flatmates. Without explanation you come and go at similar times of the day to me, we seem to share the elevator a lot and even walk up the several flights of stairs together on the days where that shitty elevator breaks down.

"If I didn't know where you lived I'd accuse you of stalking me." You joke one day, tucking yourself against me as someone passes you by in the lobby.

"Maybe you're the one stalking me," I reply, hands on my hips and I grin down at you. "I am dashingly handsome and athletically blessed. Maybe you're just so enamoured with me that you can't leave me alone."

"You're also incredibly humble." You snort.

"But if you're so infatuated with me, maybe you'd like to go on a date this weekend?" I have absolutely no recollection of where that sudden burst of courage came from, what random act of madness made me blurt those words out so casually. I also don't quite know what kind of date I even have the spare money to take you on, but the first hurdle is you accepting the date proposal.

"Apartment 205. Come pick me up." Is all you reply, and I am so fucking astounded that even worked that I almost miss the elevator. You're already stood inside, watching me gape in awe at your response, the doors almost shutting without me stepping inside.

It's funny really. I can run to the opposite side of the world, I can spend years loving the foreign exchange student in my apartment block, building myself a whole new volleyball career - but the past will never fully leave anybody behind.

At least that's what I realised on that day in Brazil. The sand is absolutely everywhere, and it's much too warm. It was that type of warm where there's no breeze to offer respite, if there was a breeze then I'd be enjoying this much more than I was. Although the opportunity to absolutely trash you at beach volleyball was amazing.

"If only you had a volleyball genius as a boyfriend that could teach you how to play,'' I goad at you from the other side of the net. Truthfully, it was just a casual game with some of the locals - a group of tourists watching in between visiting the Olympics. There was no volleyball in the schedule today, and that's how you'd pulled me into a day at the beach with no games to watch.

"If only."

It was hardly a demanding game of volleyball, people kept coming and going as they pleased - the scoreboard was completely nonexistent aside from the one I was mentally chalking up against you. As some of the players on your side vanished, those waiting by the sidelines filtered in to take their places. You stood in the front row, sandwiched between a tall Brazilian man who had been playing on your side all morning, and a small ginger male who was bouncing on the balls of his feet.

And that was how I ran into Shouyou Hinata, halfway across the fucking world. He stood on the opposite side of the net - as I was so used to seeing him through during high school - trying to find a common language ground with you and your team.

"Hinata?" I sputter incredulously, not knowing if I was starting to go crazy from heatstroke.

"The great king!" He cries back, faces turning to us in shock at the sound of Japanese being spoken in the middle of a beach in Brazil. "Want a game?"

"You know each other?" You ask, throwing Spanish into the mix. I watched as you gestured between Hinata and myself, and you two were speaking something I couldn't really pick up on. It sounded like you two were finding some wild common ground between your broken Portuguese and Hinata's abysmal English. Somehow, you managed to make it work and I found myself just standing there staring in shock. Of all the people, and all the places, and all the times. Shouyou Hinata.

He's better than the last time I saw him play in high school - but I suppose that's to be expected. He can even hit some mean spikes from the sets you throw up - and no offence, darling, but your setting is terrible. By the time it's late afternoon and almost everyone is packing up and leaving the beach, the two of you seem to be getting along famously. I duck under the net, trying to pass as nonchalant when I kiss your temple and wrap an arm around you. I don't think it worked, but subtlety was never my strong suit.

"Tell him he should come to dinner with us," You say, looking up at me. "I don't know the Portuguese for that."

"She's wondering if you would like to come to dinner with us tonight?" I relay, unsure why I didn't just send that annoying little twerp off on his way. I guess he wasn't that annoying when Kageyama wasn't around, which was a bonus.

And that's how we sit at a small table in an Italian restaurant on the beachfront. Whatever you can't find a way to say in English or Portuguese, I find myself translating between the two of you. Somewhere around the middle of the meal, you two begin to teach each other snippets of Spanish and Japanese - something I can finally follow along with. I make it my personal mission to casually maintain contact with you as much as possible. An arm around the back of your chair, a hand on your thigh under the table, elbows nudging as you leaned on the table.

It's not as if I'm threatened by that little shrimp, I guess it's more to prove to him that when he goes home and tells everyone about me, he can tell them that I'm doing so much better than them all and my girlfriend is fucking gorgeous and we play beach volleyball together- I may have some unresolved resentment that I need to work on.

It's dark outside the restaurant as we leave, Hinata bounding off in the opposite direction spewing thanks at you as you wave him off. I'm not particularly a night owl, but you certainly are, so when you link your fingers with mine and stroll lazily down the street, my little lovesick heart is happy to follow you anywhere.

"Hey, Tooru?" You stop in your tracks, not loosening your grip on my hand. I raise my eyebrow at you, trying to not interrupt your sentence by leaning down and kissing your forehead.

"Aishiteru." You whisper, and I fucking swear my heart stops.

"I love you too," I reply, realising that maybe Shouyou wasn't so bad if he'd taught you that little phrase.

The best feeling in the world is finishing a game with a service ace. That's a complete lie, the best feeling in the world is you. But the second best feeling in the world is a service ace as a match point. There's just something about nailing a serve and watching as your opponents can't dig it up, their little faces of desperation as they stand frozen in place and watch the ball sail past. Maybe I am a sadist, but the looks on their faces when I absolutely crush them is the second best feeling in the world.

The best feeling in the world is indeed when I see you vaulting the barriers and come running onto the courtside with the coaches. It's watching you cheer, still as ecstatic whenever I win even after so many years. It's the joy in your face, and the pride you have for me. It's all of it, everything at once. But most importantly, it's the way you sprint into my arms. It's the feeling of you close to my chest, riding the high of the victory with me.

Today is no different.

My ace comes and bounces his chest against my back, whooping and hollering. The coaches clap loudly, smug grins on their faces. Fans in the stands scream and applaud, people flooding the court to join the celebrations. You are there - you're always there.

I relish the feeling of you crashing into me, even if you almost overbalance us. You grip my waist, arms wrapped fully around me as words of congratulations flow from your lips. There will never be a better feeling than this - and I want to ensure there never will be.

''Marry me. I fucking love you, please, marry me.'' I blurt out, cradling your face and leaning down to watch as the shock settles in your features. I realise that I might actually be crying. This is likely being recorded, the cameras no doubt still rolling even after the match is over. I simply do not care about any of it.

I kiss you, you kiss me.

This is the best feeling in the world.

You're in the living room. Or at least, that's where your voice calls me from. It sounds urgent, but truthfully I don't have the energy to come rushing. You aren't screaming bloody murder so clearly, no danger has befallen you - but something has for certain caught your attention.

I have no idea where these towels came from, what kind of magician you bought them from, but they're the best towels I've ever used. I amble over, fresh from the shower and lazily drying my hair.

"What's up?"

You're sat on the sofa, curled on your side, elbow on the armrest. Your chin rests in one hand while the other holds the remote limply. "Come look at this," You laugh, waving me over.

It's the news playing, more specifically whatever local station was covering the sport. You resumed the broadcast, giggling as the footage from the other week plays on your tiny TV.

"You've just broken millions of hearts," You laugh, watching as the headlines proclaim news that Tooru Oikawa is no longer on the market, he has a fiancé and women around the globe are disappointed at the development.

"Well," I sigh, folding my arms and tossing the towel onto the armchair on the other side of the room. "I can't particularly say I give a fuck. Only one heart matters to me." (I'll admit that one was cheesy even to me but whatever.) I vault the back of the sofa - a habit that I could easily break but I enjoy watching you get annoyed at it - and settle into the cushion next to you. Feet propped on the coffee table, I lean myself against your shoulder.

"The female race is currently in mourning," You jokingly profess, flicking to a different channel.

"All but one..." I trail off, doing my utmost to drag your attention from the TV by dragging my lips up the column of your neck.

"Tooru we just showered." You whine, trying to swat my hands away from your waist.

"We can shower again..." I'll be the first to admit that I was doing this to wind you up, but there was part of me that did kind of want to drag you back into bed for the second time today and not leave for another hour or so. Listen, I'm only human. You put me in the same room as someone that attractive and expect me to keep my hands to myself? Not a chance! Especially not when that person just so happened to be my person.

My only person.

Your parents must have been a little surprised when they first met me. I mean, they let their daughter study abroad at University and she comes back engaged to an Argentinian volleyball player from Japan. I can't exactly blame them for being a little taken aback by the situation - but when I met them in person that first time the drowning sensation of being welcomed by them was so fucking heartwarming that I almost cried. Of course, I wasn't some asshole who refused to meet your parents before the wedding, damn I'd made it my personal mission to sit on video calls with them as often as physically possible to the point where it felt as if the entire time we were just sitting in the same room and not a thousand miles apart.

I remember the look on your father's face that day I asked if I could marry you. He nearly cried. You'd left the room, refilling your wine glass and that was when I pounced. Of course, we pretended like we'd just been casually talking about your mother's promotion and not about the fact I was planning to legally put your heart in my care for the rest of our lives.

They seemed to like Japan, and so do you. God, that fortnight we spent together in Miyagi is really up there for me as a great memory. You loved seeing my hometown, promising that we'd go to your hometown one day too. We did - although it was a year or two later, and I loved every second of it. I'd even got Iwa to come back over from California for the wedding, and despite his incessant grumbling he liked meeting you. He still likes meeting you, but we're busy people after all.

It's small and traditional. It's not about showing people that we're in love, it's not about showing people the money we have. It's about having the few very important people in our lives to watch, to witness. Even though we're supposed to be dancing close, so slow and heartachingly in love, I can't stop myself from just dropping my head into the crook of your neck and grinning to myself. I have won the greatest prize of them all, I have the entire world right in my arms so of course I'm smiling. I'm still smiling when your father takes his turn to dance with you and I slide up next to Iwa. He taps his champagne glass against one I pluck from the nearest table. He smiles, but it's not the type of ear-to-ear grin, it's the soft smiling where the corners of his lips turn up and the corners of his eyes lift.

''Well, you look pleased with yourself.'' He sighs, folding his arms and tapping his glass against his lips.

''That's my wife. Of course I'm happy. This is the best fucking day of my life.'' I smile back at him, gripping the glass and relishing the little 'tink' when my left hand catches the stem.

''Okay that's adorable and everything - but that doesn't explain why we've never met her before.'' Maki sighs, finishing his drink completely and heavily setting the glass onto the table.

I think there is some fragile part inside of me that wants to tell them the truth. But it is a part of me that is so afraid of the truth that I've spent so long making my own reality in order to deny it. I twist the wedding ring on my finger. I don't even take it off to play, even if the weight of it can be hard to adjust to after years of setting without one on. I don't want to take it off though, I'll just work harder on my sets. It keeps you with me, honey. It keeps you right there with me when I'm on the court.

With a sigh, I reach into my shirt, pulling on the chain that hangs around my neck. It's really nothing glamourous, just a silver chain. A lot of my team have necklaces - mostly chains with crucifixes on them. Perhaps they assume that's what mine is, but they are wrong. On the end of the chain is a ring, plain gold. I dangle it out of my shirt at my friends. Iwa's brows knit together and he swallows deeply, knowing what I am about to say. He's wanted me to admit this for so fucking long now. Mattsun almost immediately sobers up seeing my expression. I must look sad.

Exhaling heavily, I admit: "'Well, she died last year.''

#haikyuu #oikawa tooru #fanfic #oikawa tooru x reader #married life #hurt no comfort #major character death #like there is no happy ending to this. at all #emotional hurt #fluff #hajime iwaizumi #mattsukawa issei #hanamaki takahiro

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everyhowlmarksthedead · 4 years ago

Text

big brother to the rescue.

BEN MILLER

TRIPLE FRONTIER. ┃ USEFUL LINKS.

❝ request by @meteora-fc: hello hello! hope you're doing well :) i was thinking about a ben miller fic where when they're in the bar towards the beginning the reader is there with her friends and the boys push benny to talk to her bc he's getting distracted from conversation by her across the place. thanks a ton 💖

❝ words: about 1.6k.

❝ a / n: if you'd like to read a second part, lemme know! don’t forget to comment and reblog if you liked it, i’d really appreciate it!

“C’mon, little brother. She’s been looking at you the whole night”. Will says palming his back, after catching him distracted for the third time.

“Go, before I do”. Frankie challenges him with a petty smile, knowing it’s going to be enough to force the boxer to take the step.

Taking a deep, deep breath, finding in that gesture the encouragement he needs, Benny goes straight to you, waiting for the bartender to serve you another beer.

At first, you don’t notice his presence, until the unknown guy stops by your side leaning too over the bar. You two cross your gazes, sharing a soft smile that makes your knees tremble. The blonde looks really good, but for some reason, you have the feeling that he could be an idiot, so when he throws at you one of those horrible pickup lines, you can’t help but roll your eyes.

“I’m gonna give you advice. Don’t hit a girl like that”. You just reply with a chuckle, referring to his words.

“I’m more into hitting men”.

For a second, where you were about to leave with your drink, you squint at him having a sip and trying to understand the meaning of his affirmation.

“I box, professionally”.

“Oh…” You nod your chin, puckering your lips, showing him that this fact doesn’t impress him at all. “Congrats. Good luck in your next fight”.

Not giving him the chance to continue the talk, you come back to your table under the attentive looks of your friends, who are laughing at the poor guy and the gesture on his face. His brothers, on the other hand, have slapped their faces whilst shaking their heads disappointed. As soon as Benny joins him, Santi slaps the back of his neck, causing him to choke in his beer.

“There must be something wrong with my eyes, ’cause I can’t take them off you? Really, Benny? Really?”

The guys are laughing when Pope repeats his sentence, as Will puts an arm over his shoulders. “You’re lucky to have me… Big brother to the rescue”.

Anna nudges you, making you turn on your stool to watch a second guy walking towards you, very secure of himself. The only thing you wanted tonight was to have fun with your friends and seems it’s not going to be an option. Crossing a leg over the other and nailing an elbow on the table, resting your chin on your palm, you force a smirk when he offers you a kind smile.

“Good nights, ladies, sorry to interrupt. William, a pleasure”.

The man holds your free hand without asking for it to stretch it. Firmly. Like only a soldier would do —as your father does. He turns for a second to his friends, laying his oceanic and hypnotic eyes on you with a charming and funny grimace on his face.

“Sorry ‘bout my brother, you know... too many punches”. He has captivated your friends, who are gasping for him and the honeyed tone he’s using, covered by a raspy voice. “He has watched you looking at him and he was nervous, but he’s not a bad guy. Just a little asshole. But he’s worth it, believe me”.

“Okay”. You reply slowly, raising an eyebrow earning your attention little by little.

“He has begged me to not come, but I think you’re too smart to not have a date with him”.

“Your brother was right, you didn’t have to come. And you’re wrong, more or less. I’m very smart, but having a date with him doesn’t seem a very intelligent idea”.

“Got it. But he’ll be waiting for you at seven in Kaleo’s, tomorrow night”. A negative it’s not an option to the soldier, showing you his perfect white teeth in a huge smile clapping his hands before leaving. “Good night, ladies. Have a good time”.

Since last night, you've been debating with your friends if you should go to the date just to prove both men were wrong. Lucy would call you crying if you text her in case the guy is another idiot.

The first test is to see if he'd wait for you, arriving thirty minutes later than the hour William told you. Your heart can't help but race a little when you find the blonde boxer sitting on the hood of a black Mustang, in front of the restaurant. Wearing a white t-shirt and black jeans, he has both legs crossed and his hands laced over his lap. Head bowed down and a sigh escaping his lips as he checks the clock on his wrist. Poor guy, he's thinking you are not going to come.

You send a picture of him to the chat group where your friends are asking you if he's still there and, in less than a second, you receive a bunch of heart emojis from all of them. Keeping your phone in a pocket, as you tuck in your hands too, you begin to walk towards him. Step by step. Taking your time with a soft smirk curving your lips as you come closer and closer. Watching him texting someone too, you roll your eyes, imagining it's to some random chick to hang out with, due you have stood him up. Until you're almost leaning above his shoulder and you see he's texting his brother —who is very interested in knowing if you're there or not. You melt as he replies: “amma wait another thirty minutes, maybe there's traffic”.

“You can say to your brother I'm here”. You whisper into his ear, taking him by surprise and causing the boxer to jump off from the hood.

“Oh, fuck. You scared the shit outta m— Where you readin' my phone?”

“Nah, I've some witch in me”. You lie terrible, feeling goosebumps on your arms when his gesture changes suddenly.

A grin like a Cheshire cat decorates his face, offering you his phone as he pressed the small microphone in the bottom right corner.

“Hey, big brother, I came. I hope you weren't wrong”.

“I'm Ben, by the way”. He introduces himself as keeping his phone in a pocket, to offer you his right hand.

“(Y/N)”. You stretch it then, feeling a little nervous at his touch.

“So, this is the plan. We have a beer, and if you think I'm a freak, you can run away before dinner. No questions, no explanations. You just… leave”.

God, that's really sweet. He's nervous too and you can see in his blue eyes how scared he is if you really decide to disappear.

“Deal”. You accept, tilting your head to the restaurant.

A couple of minutes later Ben is sitting in front of you and the first thing that captivates your attention is the fact that he doesn't put his phone on the table. Living in the technology era, everybody keeps an eye on their devices. Constantly. But he's not like everybody. He wants to talk. Know about you. What you do in your free time, what you do for a living, what unveils you at night… And you talk for hours.

Ben tells you what pushed him to be in the army, why he decided to dedicate his life to boxing and he also jokes about how you could fix him up after his fighting. Something like a plan of the future. Together. As friends —as he points out to not make you feel uncomfortable, thinking that he is forcing you to have a relationship. You also discover that your taste in music and movies are very similar, just like your hobbies. And that makes you think about the fact that William will tell you “I wasn't wrong”.

The boxer gladly takes you home, not stopping your chat even when one of the two of you doesn't know what to say, Benny has shown you in some way he enjoys too much the sound of your voice though —how it goes a little higher when you're excited about something, how your throat vibrates when you laugh. And he's falling in love with the disgusted tic that wrinkles your nose when you don't like something, in a funny gesture.

You would die for staying together a little more, but you have obligations to attend tomorrow and your friends haven't ceased sending your texts asking you how it's going. As Ben stops his car next to your house, you sigh not knowing what to do —if just say bye, thank you, ask for his number, kiss him? Yes, you'd like to kiss him right now, but what does it say about you? Should you wait until the second date?

“Got a fight tomorrow night if you're free”. His proposition pushes you back to reality, turning at him on your seat while resting a shoulder against it. “You can invite your friends, mine will be there”.

“Your brother too?” You ask giggling, noticing the change on his grimace to somewhat underwhelmed because of your interest.

“Yeah, he will come”. Ben mumbles pressing his lips after nodding briefly.

“Ugh… Is he the kind of person who has fun saying I told you?”

Ben's gesture suddenly changes again. The shine in his blue deep eyes reappears and you provoke him a strong laugh when you furrow your nose like he literally adores.

“You've had a good night then?”

“Yes”. You don't hesitate to respond, leaning towards him to press your lips on his cheek with a loud kiss.

“See? He told you”. Ben can't help but make fun of you, earning a soft punch to his shoulder that makes him laugh one more time. “It's in the Holou gym, at seven”.

“Okay, I'll not forget it”. You reply, taking your phone and setting an alarm an hour before starting to have time to get ready. “Good night, Ben”.

“Good night, (Y/N)”.

GENERAL TAG LIST: @mayans-sauce @peoniarose @destynelseclipsa @band-psycho @myakai13 @petlaufeyson @-im-fantastic- @horsesandwolvesaremyanimals @rocketqueen @rosieposie0624 @ellyseveronica @jessprins13 @diaryofkali @ravenmoore14 @starrynite7114 @kenbechillin @miahelen @monkeyluver4546 @sheeshgivemeabreak @jadesamhart @rawrlittlepanda-95 @megapeacelovemusic-blog @katsav17 @skits90s @wildsould1221

TRIPLE FRONTIER: @phoenixhalliwell @goldielocks2004 @pedritomando @spideysimpossiblegirl @im-an-adult-ish @chibsytelford

#triple frontier imagine #triple frontier fanfiction #triple frontier #benny miller x reader #ben miller #ben miller x reader #benny miller

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trashlie · 3 years ago

Note

What are your thoughts on Episode 179? (Spoiler)

My heart ACHED reading Nol's monologue :( Though I honestly didn't expect that he pretended to be their friend at the beginning, I thought forming real friendships was part of what he wanted to do even if it wasn't meant to benefit him personally. Makes it all the more wholesome to see that those connections became real for him & that his act stopped being an act though.

Also! I'm giggling at the fact that Alyssa was not even once seen in his flashbacks, I think that indicates their relationship is one that started off fake and still remains fake - initially I believed he genuienely felt some sort of a spark before they got together but with that and him not even trying to keep her from Yui's claws? Seems like he only wanted to help her and entered this relationship because she wanted (like he mentioned at the formal), because if he thought he was doing something good pretending to be people's friend, why would it be any different with him pretending to be someone's boyfriend to bring them happiness? Now, the reason he doesn't do anything against Yui's claws on her I think is primarily because Alyssa isn't hurting from her influence - quite the opposite even: her career started off because of Yui. At the same time Alyssa also idolizes her - so unlike Shin-ae - Alyssa, despite being manipulated, isn't being hurt.

That aside! I absolutely LOVED to see the shift in Nol throughout his conversation with Shin-ae. At the beginning it was obvious he didn't want this interaction, he was so shocked to hear Shin-ae and immediately wanted to know if she heard what he said because he didn't want her to have heard all of that. It's sad really..to think he never planned on telling anyone this (Shin-ae did so well proving him wrong through pointing out the lack of logic in his thinking because it's true - Nol being out of the picture wouldn't protect her from Yui. She's right, he truly is an idiot! lol).

He didn't want to call her by first name too..To see the distance he put between himself and Shin-ae hurt so much :( Although he so wanted to close it. Touching the wall seperating them in such a longing way.."You're special to me too" "I didn't know you feel that way about me.." *touches the wall* he was so ready to close the distance after hearing everything she said😭 AND MAN THE LITTLE SCREAM I LET OUT WHEN I SAW HIS HAND ON THE RAILING! He's finally closing the distance and facing her! The jokes last week about them pulling a Romeo and Juliet were funny but seeing it actually play out? Damn, that suprised me😂 Probably because us Stalkyoo shippers know better than to get our hopes up after all this pain.

Next week's episode can't come soon enough

Sorry for taking so long to reply to this Nonny - I know I've been sitting on it for ages but I just haven't been in the headspace to give this the reply it deserves til now!

I hope everyone has their spoilers tags on because there's no way I can block the contents this ask if you don't lol Still I'll stick it under a read more because we all know I'm far too verbose!

I agree with you that it never crossed my mind that the relationships were all meant to be fake! I've been mulling over it a bit and I'd like to cobble together a post later about this that goes deeper into it, but it's definitely made me reconsider certain scenes. One such scene is the confrontation between Kousuke and Nol in episode 57 where Kousuke not-so-subtly implies that he thinks Nol is interested in Shinae/looks like he's cheating (lol?) and Nol closes his eyes when he delivers the line "What's it going to take for people to understand I'm only seeking something platonic?" This rides on the coattails of Shinae also accusing Nol of being a flirt and states that she doesn't want his girlfriend to have the wrong idea. We know that when characters close their eyes, they're masking in some manners. Sometimes that mask is a facade, sometimes that mask is a lie. This whole time, I believed something about his delivery was a lie - and again, following hotly on Shinae's accusations, it's easy to assume Nol was lying and that he was interested in Shinae. (There's a point I'd like to bring up in that aforementioned post about Shinae smiling and Nol's reaction, but that's an entirely other point lol.) I didn't think that was the case - though I guess it could have been that he was and didn't yet realize it - but now we know why. Nol wasn't even seeking anything platonic. He wasn't intentionally seeking anything!

That said, I do think the point in which Nol had begun to see his friendship with Shinae was real came earlier, though I'm not quite sure yet what point I think that was. Regardless, learning Nol's motives make it really interesting to look back on certain scenes and statements Nol made. Like you, I thought he was intentionally being the friend he wished he had to other people but believed he was undeserving of such friendships, and while clearly those feelings of undeserving still qualify here, there's something incredibly tragic to me, about Nol trying to repent for whatever sin he believes he carries, by helping people in the ways he can't be helped. That line about wanting to help someone and make their situation better, even if that can't be the same for him, was so sad. But yes, I agree that's what makes it so beautiful that those friendships blossomed and became real to him.

I've said this before but I think a major issue Nol deals with is obviously that he doesn't see himself the way others see him. He knows only the things about himself he hates and the things he thinks he can't change - whatever happened in the past that he believes himself at fault for overshadows everything else to such a degree that he certainly never expected he'd get attached to these people he was helping. But as we've seen with Shinae, the help he gives them comes back to him and I don't think he realized it would sway him so much and make turn them into such important people to him. That's the most beautiful thing to me, when he confesses how important they all are to him, how much they mean to him, that no he doesn't WANT to give them up he just feels like he must. Because even though the friendships were, to some degree, forged through a lie, it's the fact that they did ultimately mean anything to him that matters in the end. His motives weren't genuine but the relationships that came from them are.

That's why I don't even mind how long it took to get to this point. Almost thirty chapters of just absolute heartbreak and angst met with such a surprising reveal just gives so much more depth to it, I think. Nol struggled so hard and tried so hard but in the end, he can't resist these people, his friends, the few people he cares about. That's how important they all are to each other and GOD I'm eating it UP! I'd also like to point out how remarkable it is that even though Nol has known Dieter and Soushi longer (and presumably those relationships became long ago), Shinae only just entered the picture and Nol still was unable to resist forming that friendship with her, his charity help went so wildly out of control lol

And YES it did not miss me that Nol never mentioned Alyssa amongst the people he said are important to him and I don't think it's because she's separate to them - Alyssa used to part of his group with Dieter and Soushi! I think there's also a pointed divide drawn for us because it was while Nol was being a miserable grump with Alyssa that he found himself wishing he was elsewhere. I'm not going to say that I think being around her makes him miserable and given the chance he might even have invited her to the party but.... I do think there's a pointed message there. I think you are definitely right, too. I had always assumed that Nol just went along with it to try it or because he had hoped a friend turned girlfriend would be some kind of comfort for the loneliness he carries and how isolated he felt with his family and expected that maybe it meant there would be someone on his side, to whom he could open up. But, and I could be wrong, I get the feeling Nol has never opened up to Alyssa. At best, she seems aware of how his family treats him (he's told her that she knows he's invisible to his family) and yet she still speaks of Yui the way she does. While I feel that this might be a facade, and that Alyssa might have some feelings about Yui developing that are not favorable towards her, she still stays such nice things about her to Nol's face and thus I can't buy that Nol has opened up to her.

So longwinded lol yes I think Nol entered the "relationship" full well knowing that Alyssa wasn't interested in him and that feelings would never develop because it was his way of benefitting and helping her as he'd done with Soushi and Dieter before. That he'd seen her as a lonely girl who needed a friend like the others and it lead to the way she used him. I do still think he tried to make it real, maybe without realizing it the same way as the other relationships became real, because the hurt he demonstrates about Alyssa isn't nothing. He doesn't like being slighted by her, he seemed really bothered that she pays attention to other people and none to him, and yes this might be simply BECAUSE they were friends but I'm thinking it might be because formal put a lot of things in perspective for Nol. Whether or not he was aware of it before, I think it was the Kim formal that made him very aware that Shinae had become a real friend to him and not only was someone he'd grown to care about - but also cares about him. I think that's why he called her over to break up. Nol had realized that this relationship wasn't benefitting him the same way - that he was helping her career in hopes of alleviating his own guilt, but all it did was made him feel worse. Honestly I have to come back to this point in another post because I do have some Feelings about things and I'm already getting carried away lol but the bottom line is

Yes I think Nol has realized that his relationship with Alyssa isn't the same as his relationship with Shinae, Dieter, and Soushi.

But also yes to get to the rest of the point, Nol only shields Shinae from Yui because Shinae is aware of who Yui is and what she's capable of. Prior, he never tried to sway her opinion of Yui, or even tell her that Yui isn't HIS mom. It's only because Yui has tried to harm Shinae that Nol seems involved at all, so right, I don't think he would try to pull Alyssa away from her. Firstly, she seems to view Yui in a good light, secondly, Yui has basically propelled her career, so how would it look for him to go "hey by the way Yui is fuckin AWFUL" you know? That's the thing with abusers - to others, they don't look capable of what they do. Alyssa and Nol have so many issues that if he were to bring it up, I don't know how well it would even go. Would she even believe him?

Anyway! The other feelings and thoughts!!!!!! I'm over the moon with Nol literally closing the distance. All the time he was "chasing" Shinae with friendship, it was never authentic, and then she spent so much time chasing him so sincerely, so it's only right that after all the effort she's made, he's the one to make the effort. Earlier, when he started to go to her when she was Minhyuk, he told himself he'd regret it and we could tell he wasn't totally ready to go through with it, but the choice to freaking climb up to the rooftop was his conscious choice. Whether or not it means he's going to still pull away I'm not sure, but I think if he made that effort, it's because he's made up his mind.

At the beginning of the chapter, he talked like he was still ready to leave them, even though it was clear he didn't WANT to. Confessing their importance? HELLO! But yes, by having a conversation he never meant to have, by revealing things he meant to carry with him forever, he had to face a new decision. If these people are so important, you don't HAVE to leave. That whole exchange between him and Shinae at the end, throwing each other's words back at each other? "Did you really mean it?" "Every last word" Like, you know that's the moment he made up his mind. Why go to her otherwise, right? To say goodbye for real? No, I don't think so, and if that's his intention, I'll be so mad lol cos Shinae gave him the go ahead to leave with her closure. That exchange felt so much like making up and starting anew - admissions that yes you are an important friend to me, yes you mean so much to me, yes I care about you.

And YES it was so important to me!! That Shinae called him out on his dumb his way of thinking was. How is leaving going to protect her when she's already in Yui's clutches? Come on dude!

But yeah, I find it really sad that he never seemed to intend to say any of that to her. Nol has probably never opened up to anyone and just keeps everything locked inside, assuming people are better off distanced from him and unaware of what his situation is like. Between everything Shinae has learned from Kousuke and the truths Nol finally revealed, I think she definitely has a much better understanding even without Nol saying what he thinks he's atoning for. And I think that's also why she wasn't upset about the realization that their friendship DID start off fake - that he HADN'T meant they made a great team. It's not like she was actually eager to be his friend, either, and by the time she was comfortable with him, I think their friendship was real. In the same way that Nol won Shinae over, she won him over, and I think she's able to understand that. Even though he's hurt her, she cares about him enough that now that it's all cleared up, they can start fresh.

AND GOD IF THAT'S NOT SUCH A FACTOR IN THE STUPID WAY I SHIP THEM UGH. It's like... it would be so easy and valid for Shinae to be upset about Nol. For the lies, for starting friendships he didn't intend to follow through, for the fact that he really did intend to leave them, for the way she bared her heart to him and he just walked away, for the fact that she couldn't get him to tell HER these things and she had to overhear it when he broke. And YET! UGH I love them and I love them for finally being on the same level, for Nol taking a step to her. I hope in time he will open up to her more, or at least learn to lean on them and accept their love. But god what a beautiful start.

I HAVE SO MANY FEELINGS UGH.

Nol and Shinae both are people who have spent so much time being so lonely which is what makes it so BEAUTIFUL that they formed this friendship - when BOTH of them tried to resist it, when neither one of them truly wanted to be friends lol he literally was just trying to help her and she was trying to resist it and NOW LOOK AT THEM. LOOK AT HOW THEY ARE STILL DRAWN TO EACH OTHER UGGH I LOVE IT. Nol's inability to fight off how much he's grown to care about his friends and how much they've grown to meant to each other. He's known Shinae MERE MONTHS and yet he was in the alley confessing his truths to her cat COME ON!!!!!!!

If nothing else this reveal reinforces what I've always strongly believed: Nol and Shinae make each other into better people. Nol's inability to fight his friendship becoming genuine, to resist growing to care about her, the way he can't truly stay away just really proves how deep that bond has already become in such a short time. Though he set out with selfish reasons, he still wanted to help everyone and made a point to do so, to reach through Shinae's mask and break the hard shell she was isolating herself in. That still comes from concern. They really just bring something important out of each other and GOD I love it. The fact that he tried to fight it but in the end, he couldn't: the friendships were real. UGH MY HEART ;A;

#I Love Yoo #ILY FP #ILY Spoilers #ILY Brainrot #Shinae Yoo #Nolan Oliver T. Lochlainn #Alyssa Cho #Soushi #Dieter #I still can't quite articulate my feelings about that chapter but I AM WORKING ON IT LMAO i just clearly have a lot of feelings #esp about Nol and Shinae's friendship and how important it is!!!!!!#HOW MUCH IT MEANS!!!!!!!!!!#and god what a wonderful person Shinae is honestly she is too wonderful ;A;

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mimisempai · 3 years ago

Text

I will never give up on you

Summary:

Now that things are back to normal, Mobius begins to wonder if he is the right person for Loki and is willing to let him go so he can be happy. Loki will prove to Mobius that he too can lean on Loki.

🌈 Happy Pride month ! 🌈

To celebrate, 1 day, 1 story.

Be ready for smiles, laugh, fluff, tooth rotthing fluff, positive vibes and a lot of love!

https://archiveofourown.org/works/32223349

2170 words - Rating G

"Oh my! Did you see Loki at the briefing this morning?!"

"He had that adorable smile again!"

"You mean the smile that would light up the whole room if it was night?"

"Yes!!!"

Mobius couldn't help but smile as he heard the gossip of the latest recruits.

After all it was not uncommon for people, girls or boys, to rave about his lover who really had the figure of a god.

Sometimes it made Mobius conscious of his own appearance and he wondered what could attract Loki to him, while the TVA was full of female or male specimens much more attractive than himself.

He continued on his way, with a slightly less energetic step when Miss Minutes' small, knowing voice called out, "That smile is not for you!"

The group of girls cried out, "What?!!! Then who is it for!"

"That's not for me to say." She replied in a mysterious tone. Then she continued clapping her little white-gloved hands, ending the discussion. "Come on, the class on time travel paradoxes is about to start!"

Mobius, continuing on his way to his office, thought about what Miss Minutes had just said.

There were few of them who knew about the relationship between Loki and him. Miss Minutes, Casey and Sylvie.

It wasn't that they had made it a secret.

Honestly if Mobius listened to himself, he'd be shouting it to the world.

But he couldn't help but wonder.

They hadn't really discussed their relationship yet, and Mobius was afraid to broach the subject. He was afraid that now that they were living a fairly normal life, as normal as it could be considering the circumstances, Loki would realize that he could do much better than a plain looking, not-so-young agent.

The circumstances of their meeting had been particular, he had been what the god had needed and now he wondered what he could bring him.

Before Loki, the life of Mobius had been the TVA, he had had some affairs, with Revonna for example, but nothing serious.

Then there was Loki, who had made his way into Mobius' heart very quickly.

In the next hallway, as he turned towards the door of his office, he saw the object of his thoughts surrounded by a small group of people. They were talking animatedly.

Suddenly Loki began to smile. The same smile that he had whenever he saw Mobius, the one the girls were talking about before.

But this time the smile wasn't directed at him.

Mobius' throat tightened. Maybe it was time to free Loki and let him fly away.

So he spent the day avoiding him. Every time Loki came near or wanted to talk to him, Mobius found an excuse to leave or found a way to slip away.

When Casey had picked him up for their daily lunch in the cafeteria, he had declined.

His actions did not go unnoticed by the object of his affection.

Loki sensed that something was wrong.

These last times, he had the impression that they got closer and Mobius was not averse to dispense signs of affection that Loki returned him well.

Loki wondered what he had done. Because if something went wrong, it was surely his fault. He had a gift for ruining his relationships with people. However, for once, Loki didn't want to give up until he had tried everything. Because he had changed, or rather he was who he was supposed to be and not who other people had decided was destined to be and he owed that to Mobius.

It was time for them to have a serious discussion about their relationship and it would happen now. He walked with a determined step towards Mobius' office, entered and closed the door gently behind him.

Mobius, standing in front of the window, had not heard him enter.

Loki approached him gently, embraced him from behind, put his chin on his shoulder and whispered in his ear.

"I finally caught my runaway boyfriend..."

He knew he was taking a risk by putting a label on something they hadn't defined yet, and he didn't miss the way Mobius froze when Loki said the word boyfriend.

He simply tightened his arms around Mobius.

"Hey..." murmured Mobius. He couldn't help but lean his head against Loki's on his shoulder.

Once again the god had baffled him, and he didn't know what to address first, the fact that Loki had noticed him avoiding him or the way he had called him. Boyfriend...

He turned in Loki's arms and looked up to meet Loki's gaze.

"I..." he paused, unable to sort out his thoughts at the way Loki looked at him. He could see tenderness and devotion, and something more that he couldn't define.

Loki smiled and said softly, "It's rare that you have trouble finding your words."

Mobius muttered, "Not everyone can be talkie talkie like you."

Loki took on a falsely outraged look, "Hey I thought you liked that!"

"I do."

Actually, it wasn't the only thing he liked.

His expression tightened and Loki noticed the change in his countenance. He ran his fingertips gently over Mobius' face and asked softly, "Hey, tell me what's wrong? I'm not blind, you know, I've seen how you've been avoiding me all day. Is it something I did or didn't do? Tell me Mobius, because if I don't know, I can't change anything. And what's between us is too precious to me to ruin in any way. And I-"

Mobius interrupted him by putting a finger over his mouth.He had been appalled as Loki spoke to him, because he realized that he who prided himself on being clear-headed and able to read people, had been wrong about everything, and that his fear of facing things head-on had made Loki insecure and worse, made him feel guilty when there was no reason to.

He had been appalled as Loki spoke to him, because he realized that he who prided himself on being clear-headed and able to read people had been wrong about everything, and that his fear of facing things head-on had made Loki insecure and worse, made him feel guilty when there was no reason to.

From the beginning, they had been honest and sincere with each other. Loki had not hesitated to bare his heart more than once, showing unwavering trust in Mobius and at the first obstacle Mobius was not able to show him the same trust?

He had to stop acting like an idiot. As humiliating as it might be, it was up to him to bare his heart, to expose his fears and insecurities.

"Stop Loki.This isn't you, I promise you, you didn't do anything wrong."

Not daring to look him in the eye, he told him everything, the conversation he had witnessed in the morning, which had triggered this path of thoughts, leading to his doubts and fears.

"And now I feel like such an idiot for reacting that way instead of facing the problem head on. For being jealous like a teenager."

Loki lifted his chin with his hand and Mobius saw that he was looking at him with the same fond eyes as before as he shook his head.

"I don't know where to start, but the first thing I want you to know is that just because when we first met, I was the one who needed you, doesn't mean you have to be strong all the time. I'm certainly not going to judge you for a moment of doubt. Honestly, that you were jealous of this group of people, I don't know if that's flattering or ridiculous or a little of both. But I want to reassure you of one thing. Do you know why I was smiling like that? It's because they were talking about you, that when they finished their training they wanted to become an agent like you. I was just smiling because I was proud of my boyfriend.And by the way, about the label, honestly I don't care, I called you boyfriend before because that's what came to my mind spontaneously, the most important thing is what's here." said Loki pointing at Mobius' chest.

"That's just it." intervened Mobius, "I think my doubts come mainly from the fact that I don't know what's here." in turn he pointed to Loki's chest. "We never talked about what was between us. And you know me, as much as I like a little chaos, I like to know where I'm going. It probably makes me an annoyingly serious person, but that's just the way I am."

It was Loki's turn to put a finger to Mobius' lips to shut him up.

"I don't see it that way, we complement each other, and that's fine. Mobius, you know I often talk to say nothing and not so long ago, while we were on Lamentis with Sylvie, I tried to define love, a little drunk I found a ridiculous metaphor about a dagger. When all I would have had to do was to draw inspiration from reality. I know perfectly well what I would answer now if she asked me again to define love. I would tell her love is someone who is not afraid to put you in front of your failures so that you realize that you are better than what you are, it is someone who sees the good in you and better who sees the good that you are being able to do, love is being confidently able to fall asleep in the presence of someone you trust, love is wanting the person you love to believe in you, love is knowing that if you fall down you will be helped up, it is wanting his face to be the first one you see in the morning and the last one at night. "

He wiped a tear that spilled from Mobius' eye with his thumb before continuing, "Mobius, I don't need a metaphor to describe love since I have you."

He then leaned towards Mobius, closing the little distance that still separated them and placed his lips on his and set about proving his words in the most beautiful way possible.

When they separated to catch their breath, Loki pressed Mobius' head against his chest, tightening his arms around him as Mobius tied his arms around Loki's waist.Loki simply rested his chin on Mobius' head and they stayed like that for a long time, embracing each other in front of the window, in a comforting silence.

Mobius felt Loki's heart beating fast and strong against his ear and realized how much courage it took to open his heart like that, without waiting for Mobius' answer.

No! He didn't have to hide anymore. Loki had shown courage in facing their relationship head on and he was going to do the same!

He pushed himself back, forcing Loki to loosen his grip and took his hand. He looked into Loki's eyes and with a pounding heart said, "You know I knew you before we met, I had watched your life story several times, and it was during those viewings that I fell in love with you. Don't make round eyes like that. Once you take off the shell, when you see past the mischief and missteps, it's so easy to love you. When you first came here, you showed all the qualities I saw in you and made me fall in love with you all over again, and now that you've broken free of your chains, I fall in love with you every day."

Loki grinned a little shakily before saying, "You realize that makes us the biggest sappy idiots in this world."

"No witnesses, no proof." Mobius pulled his lover's head toward him to wipe away his cheeky smile with a kiss that left them both panting.

"How about we continue this at home."

They walked out of the office, Mobius locked the door, and when he turned around, Loki was holding out his hand. He grasped it, and with intertwined fingers they walked towards their home.

Suddenly, they found themselves face to face with two of the girls Mobius had heard talking that morning.

They stopped, and he saw their eyes fixed on their locked hands. The girls started walking past them and they heard them giggling and whispering behind them.

They looked at each other, smiling.

"Do you realize that tomorrow the whole of the TVA staff will know about this?" asked Loki.

"That's fine with me, I won't need to show that you're mine."

"That's a shame, I'd like to see you possessive. Maybe I should smile more often for others than you." replied Loki with a suggestive raise of his eyebrow.

Mobius growled, "Loki..."

Only the god's mischievous laughter answered him. They continued on their way home, bickering lovingly under the watchful eyes of two witnesses who couldn't wait until the next day to spread the news: Agent Mobius was responsible for Agent Loki's radiant smile.

Epilogue here : X

_______

Not beta'd I hope you enjoyed it 🥰

The whole series here : Together, For all time, Always

#developing relationship #Lokius #lokius fic #loki #mobius m mobius #miss minutes #love confession sort of #feelings realization #Mobius can lean on Loki #Moki #Wowki

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writteninkat · 3 years ago

Text

xii - overwhelmed

word count - 2,220

"if i love you was a promise, would you break it if you're honest?"

index

You walk towards the classroom with your palms sweating and your heart about to beat right out of your chest. You had just confessed to Katsuki thinking he also felt the same, but all he replied was a lousy 'you don't even know me'.

You furrow your brows, clenching your palms into fists in irritation. How am I so stupid? I came to Japan to prove myself and to that dumb father of mine that I can be a powerful hero! And yet here I am being swept off track by some lousy high school crush!

"Careful- if you stare any harder you're gonna melt holes through the walls." A tired and very familiar voice calls out feom behind you. You turn around, anger still clouding your head as your eyes fall on a violet-haired boy.

"Careful- if you don't do anything about your lack of sleep anytime soon you're gonna collapse." You spat back; suddenly everything around you vexes you. You send a mental message to everyone in school; today you're hot-headed, your patience is as thin as a hair strand and taking out your anger through physical violence seems like an amazing idea right about now.

"Jokes on you, I've been like this my whole life and I've never collapsed." He smirks, causing you to raise a brow. "Okay maybe I never collapsed from my lack of sleep."

"Look what the hell do you want?"

"Well- thought you looked pretty upset." He holds up two pastel yellow-colored papers. "And I just so happen to have two free ice cream passes for that new ice cream place right beside the campus." He takes a look at his watch, "We still have an hour and thirty minutes till the bell rings. What do you say?"

"And that idiot just says 'you barely even know me'" You wave your hands up, making a dumb face as well as a dumb voice to match, "like hello! I know I barely know you and that's why I feel so upset and conflicted right now! You get what I mean???" You huff back on your seat, shoving the small pink translucent teaspoon in your mouth.

Shinsou nods his head, eyes on his ice cream as he shoves a few scoops in his mouth. "Mmm- this banana flavor tastes amazing. You should try it." He offers his cup to you, making you frown.

"You're such a jerk! I thought you brought me here to let me vent out my anger." You frown, your eyebrows knitting together as you place your cup on the table, leaning back on your seat as you crossed your arms.

"I did. I listened as you vented out your anger to me and we're having ice cream but I never said we were going to talk about the situation." He points out, annoyingly unbothered expression resting on his face as he continues eating his own ice cream.

You look at him in irritation and silence for a few moments, trying to calm yourself before taking your little teaspoon and scooping a bit from his own cup. You shove the scoop inside your mouth, pouting. "The banana tastes amazing." You huff, expression still angry.

Shinsou chuckles lightly, the small smile actually lighting up his usually dark features. "It is, isn't it?" You've only ever met one person with a so-called 'contagious smile' and he was the funny boy you met at the park one day.

Ethan will have to share his spot in my list for 'contagious smiles'. You thought to yourself, letting a smile break your frown as you look down at your ice cream.

"Have you seen the new conjuring movie? It's pretty cool, a solid six out of ten." He shrugs. You shake your head, "I can't watch scary movies. I won't be able to sleep especially now that I live alone."

He raises a brow at you, "Oh come on. We can watch it together through video chat or something. I really wanna see you piss yourself while watching it." He chuckles, causing you to squint your eyes at him. "Is that a challenge?" You point your spoon accusingly at him.

"What if it is? You gonna back out? Loser?" He pushes jokingly, mirroring your squinted eyes. You bring your hand on the table in a fist, "Oh it's on."

Shinso walks you to your classroom just five minutes before the bell is about to ring. "How can I contact you?" He asks, doing the thing with his hand behind his nape as he looks away. "Here." You tug at his hand, writing down your discord account with a marker. "Call me after the sun sets. I'll be home by then."

He waves you good bye and you step in, almost completely forgetting about why you were annoyed so early in the morning. Your eyes fall on the blond boy, still looking angry as usual. His eyes meet yours for a fraction of a second before your looking towards your seat.

As you sit down, the bell rings and in comes Aizawa, tired as ever. "Today, you will all be choosing your hero names. This has a lot to do with the Pro-Hero draft picks and because you are only first years, any offers can be taken back before you graduate." He explains, pointing at a chart where Todoroki's, Katsuki's and your names are written at the top with thousands of heroes wanting to recruit you.

"You will all spend one week interning with the pro heroes you choose or those who chose you, depending on if you have multiple offers or just one." Aizawa continues to talk about the importance of hero names before Midnight walks in the classroom.

The class begins to cheer in excitement as they all are given boards and markers for their names. The cheering and yelling dies down in a few minutes but the excitement doesn't. You smile, feeling your heart throb at the innocent looks in your classmates' faces.

Each of you all are being called up to present your hero names and as your turn slowly comes closer, your palms begin to sweat and that feeling of not being able to stand properly hits you.

"L/n Y/n. It's your turn, come on up sweetie." Midnight calls for you, curling her fingers a few times. You stand from your seat, walking towards the front, keeping your eyes forward and looking anywhere but Katsuki's eyes.

You flip your board around. "I chose the name Tempest. It means a violent windy storm." Midnight claps her hands, "I love it! Basically telling the villains not to mess with the storm." She cheers, allowing you to walk back to your seat.

"So! Have you guys chosen an agency yet?" Mina asks, shoveling food in her mouth as Kirishima and Sero follow suit. You shrug your shoulders, "I'm having a difficult time choosing between Hawks' agency or Endeavor's agency. I want to work on my speed but then again, Endeavor's the number two. It'd be a waste to throw this chance away."

"And yet," Denki points his fork at you, "It's also a waste to throw away the chance of working with Hawks. I heard he's the youngest pro right now who has his own agency and is in the top ten."

As you were about to scold the blond for talking with his mouth full, Katsuki marches towards the table, setting his tray down before sitting down beside Kirishima. You look at the empty space beside you and your mood immediately turns sour.

Wow. Sure, he has the right to feel uncomfortable with my sudden confession but to not actually have some type of closure? You sigh, not bothering to finish your food before standing up. You slide your tray to Denki, earning a cheery mouthful 'thanks!' from him before you walk away.

You walk out the classroom upset, tired and hungry. Your mind races back to the tuna sandwhiches the cafe sold and your mouth immediately begins to water.

"Hey idiot."

All your food fantasies disappear the moment his gruff yet very warm and relaxing voice calls out to you. To make sure you weren't about to embarrass yourself, you look in front of you, searching for someone else only to be greeted by an empty hallway.

Slowly, you turn around, pressing your lips together as you look at Katsuki with the most nonchalant look you could pull, no matter how much you wanted to scowl at him.

"What's up?" You ask, mentally slapping yourself. What's up? What's up??? Who the fuck do you think you are to him, Kirishima??

He looks awaw, walking towards you. "They have new matcha cookies today. I checked before I got here."

You stand there, staring at him for a second, two seconds, five- ten- "Dumbass. Yo. Can you hear me?" Katsuki snaps his fingers in front of you, gaining your attention as he snaps you out of your daze- literally. "Well?"

As much as you want to say yes, accept his offer and just live a happy life, you didn't want to live a confusing one where you get hurt in the end. "I don't see why you have to do this, honestly." You look to your right, looking out the windows.

"We hang out, I feel like you're treating me differently than the others, I feel like I'm special to you, I recognize my feelings, and although I feel conflicted and upset I still confess my feelings to you." You grip onto your bag, "And you respond to me by what- telling me I barely know you?"

You look back at him, the corners of your lips pulled downwards sightly. "Katsuki I- I got the message, okay? Don't do whatever this is to me because from my point of view, you're leading me on cause you can't voice out or even figure out your own feelings." You motion your arms between the two of you. "If you liked hanging out with me, I'm sorry but I gotta keep some distance between the two of us before I go confessing to you again like an idiot."

You stand there, eyes dropped to the floor in silence.

Say something, you idiot! Fucking say something to me! Tell me how you feel- it doesn't matter if it'll hurt me, just say something!

"I'm sorry."

You look up at him, confused. His brows are knitted together in dejection as his shoulders sag momentarily.

You feel your eyes prickle with tears as you nod, pressing your lips together. "Okay." You click your tongue, turning away as you walked from the unnervingly quiet boy.

As you reach your apartment, the sun has already set, you're tired, your cheeks are stained and are still being stained with tears and your phone is blaring.

You answer it without another thought, Shinsou's tired and relaxed voice giving you a soft 'hey'. You can hold it in much longer as you break down into sobs.

"Hey, hey, what's wrong? Talk to me, Y/n." He sounds genuinely concerned. You sob for a few moments, letting out all the emotion you've pent up inside you as you walked back to your apartment.

"I-I just-"

Another call interrupts the two of you, making you furrow your brows. "Hold on-" You sob, your eyes scanning down your screen to see your mom calling you. You put your call with Shinsou on hold, answering your mom.

"Hey mom!" You cheer, trying to act as gleeful as possible. "Hey baby! So I heard you have a boyfriend, your aunt Miwa sent me a picture of the two of you in the paintball place? I just thought maybe you wanted to know about that boy's abrasive and violent past?"

He's not your boyfriend.

"What- you looked into him?" You yell.

"Well I had to! It's my first time my baby has a boyfriend. Anyway, I don't mean to be that mom but I don't think he's a good fit for you, honey. He's bullied countless students in middle school and after observing how he acted in the sports festival, I don't think that boy changed at all." Your mother does sound truly concerned for you but everything seemed to be too much for you today.

Before you can even think of the sentences you want to say, you hear a knock on your door. You sigh, pacing towards it as you pull it open, brows furrowing in anger at the sight of your father in front of you.

"Y/n I just want a second chance-"

You yell.

You yell out your frustrations, your sadness, your hesrtsches, everything. Every single emotion you felt today just came pouring out as you yelled from the top of your lungs.

Your body falls to the floor as your limbs begin feeling like jell-o and your head begins to spin. You hear your father ordering his guards around frantically, but his words are all muffled and unclear. You begin seeing double- seeing two of your father really isn't helping right now.

"Hey, Y/n, baby keep your eyes open for me. I'll bring you to the hospital just-"

"Can all of you just shut the fuck up for a moment?" You whisper weakly before darkness swallows you up once again.

It's cold. It's dark. You're alone.

You're always alone.

#bakugou fanfiction #bakugou katuski x reader #bakugou x y/n #bakugou katsuki #bakugou x you #mha bakugou #bakugou bios #bakugou imagine #bakugou fluff #mha fanfiction #mha fluff #bnha fluff #bnha fanfiction #boku no hero fanfic #boku no hero fluff #my hero fanfic #my hero fluff #my hero academia fanfiction #my hero academia fluff

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tantancantdoshit · 3 years ago

Note

The replies to George & the tweets about him come off as bullying at this point. I haven't seen 1 tweet in the past day trying to kindly educate him. Not 1. I've seen people making gay jokes about him & telling him to come out as damage control, making fun of him for probably feeling anxious, sexualizing his imaginary subservience to Dream but also making him Dream's evil puppeteer, hoping he gets sick to prove a point, making fun of him being colorblind, calling him names, but not any good info

Let's break this ask down:

1. no tweet to kindly educate

I have seen some good tweets tbh. Not everyone on Twitter is stupid. Some have made great takes and genuinely explained why they're concerned. They have also not only looked at George but at all the ccs which is great. Some Tweets are stupid I do agree. And some are just for clout which I just don't fucking understand but we'll get to that

2. The thing with coming out and gay joke I have seen as well. I think it's weird but I can't really comment on it since I'm straight and I don't have too strong feelings regarding it

3. making fun of him for feeling anxious is sth that annoys me so much. I've already said how stupid it is that they say mantal health is important and hate is stupid. They probably genuienly think that. But they don't realize that tweets like that make him not want to speak up on anything. If my whole fanbase was making fun of my anxiety to speak in front of thousands of ppl I wouldn't speak up ever. No matter what he does it won't satisfy anyone. they expect him to find the one right way to deal with it not thinking about how he's only a human who made the same mistake many people have already made (me included)

4. the sexualizing him to be Dreams idiotic sub is making me so annoyed already. First of all they just had to bring Dream into this for some reason. And then they had to make him be Georges big smart dad who will scold his out of line bottom. Like stfu I can't look at it anymore.

5. Yeah idk I just think the jokes are getting repetitive because they're trying to gain a hit tweet from this whole thing. Like the colorblind jokes have been going from the day we found out George was colourblind. Ppls just hope for likes as if they'll achieve sth by it. Social media is fucked

#Thanks for the ask #And sorry for the unneccessary rant haha #anon #ask #Georgenotfound #dttwt #btw the dttwt tag is literally just full of me being annoyed at Twitter so if you're done with it u can just block it :]#negativity tag as well #tw negativity #And the party discourse tag but not every one of these tweets is about that so meh #party discourse

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khaleesiofalicante · 3 years ago

Note

I really said fuck classes who needs notes anyway (i do I have 5 tests in the next two weeks)

before I post my live blog here, I feel like people really underestimate how bad rumors are and how much they fuck with your mental health. they don't lose sleep over them, they don't think twice. but these things are harmful as fuck. they leave wounds that take so long to recover from because you keep on thinking about these lies who to others are "just words"

I've been there. it's not fun. I wish I had the courage back then to stand up to those rumors which I have now. these things never leave you. others might move on but the healing process is a journey that is long and hard. I wish more people understood just what effect their words can have.

Yeah, he knew a thing or two about family members going overboard with glitter.

IT'S RAFAEL CENTRIC GHSYGUJDUYDFUIKFDUIDFIUDF

TAVVY

DCSUIHDCSUIDUYUDICUIVSDUIHFVSUILFBUHKIFSV

I feel like I keyboard smash A LOT

“You will never drink even if you are not riding the bike,” Dad had pointed out – all Consul Voice and threatening glares. “The legal age for drinking in New York is 21.”

“But it’s 15 in Idris!”

“Well unfortunately for you, we are in Exile,” dad had grinned.

DAD ALEC UHIKSFDUIHKSGUIKSDVUIHKDVUHIKSVD

Max had a habit of ‘borrowing’ things and selling them on eBay. In his brother’s defense, Bapak had so many clothes that he never noticed when things disappeared. But Rafael did since he had a habit of wearing his father’s clothes.

The warlock – not the shadowhunter.

He wouldn’t be caught dead in one of those sweaters.

Now that Rafael was 18, he was almost as tall as his father.

The shadowhunter – not the warlock.

I AM SCREAMING

I love how he's clarifying which one he's talking about

“Do you know I used to have a crush on Lily Chen?” Tavvy blushed. “But then I found out she made out with Helen once and it kinda got weird.”

Ah yes. I remember. Does Rafael know that Alec also walked in on them?

ARCHITECT TAVVY

SDHDVUHDFSV,YDSFVUYVSFFUSVFUVFS

SHADOWUNTERS ATTENDING MUNDANE COLLEGES

“Dude, college kids don’t give a shit,” Tavvy laughed. “You could walk into a lecture covered in runes, holding a seraph blade and they wouldn’t give you a second look.”

“Cause they are chill?”

“Yes. But mostly cause they are dead inside,” Tavvy chuckled.

Surprisingly that's exactly what my grade 6 prefect told me (DAMN WHY AM I ALWAYS REMEMBERING GRADE 6 IT'S BEEN YEARS. that was a horrible year *shudders*)

ANJALI IS A CENTURION

LMAO THIS IS WHAT RAFAEL MEANT WHEN HE SAID HE WOULDNT WANT TO GO TO THE SCHOLOMANCE FOR PERSONAL REASONS

I still ship them.

“The meeting is going to go perfe-What is SHE doing here?”

Well, that was a quick change-

Unlike Aunt Maia, Lily did not like to be called Aunt Lily. So, Rafael respected her wishes. Max of course continued to call her Aunt Lily and sometimes Abeula Lily since his brother had a pathological condition of pissing people off.

THAT'S SO MAX OMG JHSXUHSCUHISDHUHUKIDVS

great now I miss Raphael

I HAVE A CLASS IN 7 MINUTES STOP MAKING ME CRY

that is so thoughtful of him though...

tears.

“There are no photos of Raphael,” Lily sighed.

“Because he is a vampire?” Tavvy asked sympathetically.

“Because he is Raphael,” she grinned. “Vampires can most certainly take photos. You should follow me on Instagram. My handle is simp_for_carstairs.”

Of course, it is. No one is surprised.

Tavvy picked one up, took a large bite and it threw it back immediately. “Holy shit, that’s spicy!”

“White,” Lily and Anjali snorted at the same time.

white people and their bland foods smh

“She is not wrong,” Lily nodded seriously. “I’m a Jem Carstairs fan first and a vampire second.”

As she should be

UHDSUHDFSUHFDH ANJALI AND RAFAEL COMPETING ABOUT WHO'S LILY'S FAVORITE

He observed Anjali’s long dark hair spilled over her shoulders as her eyes stayed on Lily – sharp, protective and beautiful.

"Beautiful"

I AM NOT LETTING THIS GO

I'm THE DAMN CAPTAIN OF THIS SHIP

FUCKING RUMORS

I'm GONNA KILL SOMEONE

“Shadowhunters are awful gossips,” Anjali said. “Let’s not waste our time with this nonsense.”

There was something in her voice. Something he couldn’t put his finger on.

No, wait I want to know what was in her voice.

But no. It couldn’t be. They weren’t dating.

YET

Rafael was sure there was something more than friendship between them. But David was polite to a fault and Max was an oblivious little shit. So, obviously nothing had happened yet.

OH MY GOD THESE TWO

But this was different. He would tolerate rumours about himself. But he would not tolerate rumours about his family.

I and Rafael will beat up the people who spread these rumors together :D

“She once told me she likes sipping tea more than drinking blood.

I-

same.

NOT THAT I DRINK BLOOD-

RAFAEL LMAO NO

"I hate her she's so annoying"

continues to daydream about her and how tall she'd be without those boots, lies to tavvy about her dating someone

Why did he do that? What was the purpose? Did he not want other people to date just because he wasn’t dating anyone?

And he calls Max oblivious.

oh class started

shit

IDC IDC I'LL STILL BE READING

LEXI AND SELENA ARE AT THE ACADEMY

JACE HYPER FIXATING ON THINGS BECAUSE HE'S BORED IS SUCH A MOOD

“David and I added rosemary to this one,” Uncle Jace wiped his hands on his apron. “It has definitely improved the taste, hasn’t it?”

“Save me,” David mouthed from behind the man.

LMAO POOR DAVID

“Empty nest syndrome,” Rafael chuckled. “I’m glad neither Max nor I had to leave home. My fathers are much worse.”

He remembered his first sleepover at the institute. His parents had waited for “an excruciating hour” before crashing the institute and joining the sleepover themselves.

yup, that's them.

“David,” Rafael grinned. “Are you afraid of my father?”

“What? No! He is the just a regular person…who can throw me in the silent city any time he wants,” David rambled and then shook his head. “Where is Max?”

He tried to sound nonchalant. But Rafael noted the way the other boy’s eyes fluttered every time he said Max’s name.

Just the way a crooked smile appeared on his brother’s lips every time someone said David’s name.

Idiots

ok, there is so much to unpack here.

DAVID HAS A VALID REASON OK??

These two are such IDIOTS HUSDUHISCUIDSVCUIHVSDUHI

“Max said Bapak is biased, and that he needs an unbiased tutor. Uncle Ragnor volunteered,” Rafael chuckled. “God bless the poor man.”

“Max isn’t that bad,” David replied.

“Looks like you’re biased too, David,” Rafael winked and picked up a spare bow from the training room.

of course, he is.

G-FORCE KJHSDCUISDYUKDFSUYKDSVYUSFD

oh shit

WHO DID WHAT THIS TIME

what's the rumor and who do I need to kill

He didn’t know her well. But she knew a lot about him. Just as she knew a lot about the twins. She was one of those people who was oddly invested in his life just because Rafael happened to the Consul’s son.

what is her problem?

what the fuck

I need a minute

I need a minute to digest that

I'm so glad I closed my camera in class

what the actual fuck did she just say

tell me I'm hallucinating

times like these I wish I was Jared 19

no, because I'm actually speechless right now

Paige and Irene need therapy

OH SHE WENT THERE

“Paige, that’s enough!” the Dean snapped at her. “How dare you talk to him that way? You talk about warlock corruption but where all of you when Valentine exploited Jace and Clary? Where was this moral obligation when Valentine lied to his children and played with their feelings as if they were nothing but toys to be controlled and manipulated? I’m sick of shadowhunters victim blaming children instead of holding people like Valentine accountable.”

THANK YOU

SAY IT LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK SIMON

I feel like we all focus so much on the "incest" and hate on clace we forget that this part of the story was literally an abuser seeing that the victim was recovering and took the only thing which made him happy from him

I can't believe this

“Children have been suffering for a long time now, Paige,” Uncle Jace said now, his fists balled at his sides. “Where were you when Alec proposed the child protection bill? We didn’t see any of you supporting it.”

“We had other priorities,” the older woman replied. “People were dying! It was not the right time for a new law. We could have always signed that bill later. There was no rush!”

OTHER PRIORITIES MY ASS BITCH FUCK YOU

hey just realizing Rafael is the token straight

I'M SORRY IM TRYING TO DISTRACT ME

“The Cohort who made children kill themselves to prove a point?” Uncle Simon asked dryly. “That Cohort?”

I am so close to either crying or killing someone or both.

This was Max’s spot since it had the best Wi-Fi coverage.

yeah trust me I spend all the time in the guest room because it has the best wifi coverage or the study.

MAX IS SMOKING TOO

YOU FUCKING IDIOTS

oh wait

oh they might be alec's

yeah

For the next thirty minutes, Max paced around the room, threatening to portal all the shadowhunters to hell.

Then he went on about a plan to attack the cohort and portal them all to hell too.

He kept talking about portalling people to hell.

MAX YES LET'S DO IT!!!!

But here is the thing about people, they don’t get to you. You get to them.

They simply say something and leave. They probably don’t even mean the things they say or lose sleep over it. But it wasn’t the same for you. You obsess over it. You stay awake at night and let it consume your dreams.

YES! To others, it's just words. meaningless. to you, the effect can be so so deep. it's not easy to always brush them off.

NO MAGNUS

THAT'S IT

MAX AND I ARE PORTALLING PEOPLE TO HELL

WE'RE DOING IT

why do we hurt others?

my teacher: ill take a test on this chapter. all 20 units

me: softly crying because people are little shits and they hurt others.

“Fuck everyone else,” dad hissed. “They’ve hurt our family enough.”

EXACTLY. LEAVE THEM ALONE.

“I am simply being honest with you,” Dad interrupted. “I could never be okay when you are away from me. But I will manage. Max is going to raise hell though. So, that’s going to be fun.”

AS HE SHOULD

Neither Rafael nor Max would never admit it out loud, but on the day of that sleepover, on the day their parents had crashed the institute bcause they had missed the kids too much…Rafael and Max had been only a moment away from calling their parents to come pick them up.

He's right though.

it'll take time. lots of it maybe.

BUT THE ACTUAL AUDACITY.

It fucked with his mind so much.

Rafael...ALRIGHT WHERE ARE MY FLAMETHROWERS

“DAD! BAPA! WAKE UP! RAFE IS TRYING TO RUN AWAY!”

MAX REMINDS ME SO MUCH OF MY LITTLE BROTHER

He had forgotten about the bloody paperwork. Shadowhunters on their travel year had to notify the Clave and get their paperwork in order.

Well, it shouldn’t be a problem since the Clave was standing across the hall.

EXACTLY

Because it was killing him. It was killing him not to be lying on the couch, his head resting on his Bapak’s lap just like every other Saturday morning.

It was killing him not to touch, not to love, not to care.

GET MY FLAMETHROWERS AND CANNIBAL GOLDFISHES WE HAVE SOME WORK TO DO

(goddamn every class I have taken so far the teacher has told us there is a test coming up it's 9 am in the morning.)

His brother growled at that like the little feral animal that he was.

that's adorable actually.

“Fine,” Max rolled his eyes. “Does this mean I can also travel? There is a Twenty One Pilots concert in Sydney and-”

“Nice try,” Dad said. “But no. You are staying here.”

“Excuse me, but what about my healing?” Max demanded. “I’ve been traumatised by this thing.”

“You can go to therapy,” Rafael winked at this brother.

Therapy is boring but useful so-

He needed to survive this. So, he decided to go back to the place he had learned how to survive in the first place.

He needed to go back home.

UGLY CRYING WHILE TAYLOR SWIFT PLAYS IN THE BACKGROUND AND MY HISTORY CLASS IN 2 MINUTES

I'm so proud of him for this...

I still say we kill these people.

JOAQUIN AND JULIETTE

UHISDCUIHFSDUGUIDFVDSDVFJHGDFVHUKDVHUKVF

Camilla Alvarez.

well well.

OH THEY KISSED

“Right,” Rafael had said. “Gap year. Besides, I do talk them. My brother threatened to paint my room in hot pink if I don’t text him every day.”

hands max a pint of paint HAVE AT IT

Max: Also – New Rumour. Dalliance between Lily and Tavvy.

Rafe: OMFG WHAT

Max: They are running with it and freaking old n*philim out.

AS THEY SHOULD UFUHIFUIHFUIHKFU

THE CENSORED N*PHILIM I'M SCREAMING

“He is hot.”

He laughed out loud. “Yeah. I hear that a lot.”

“Your dad looks kinda scary,” she pointed out.

Rafael laughed again. “Yeah. I kinda hear that a lot too.”

I'm liking this ship...

I'M STILL LOYAL TO THE RAFAEL AND ANJALI SHIP

but I'm happy for him. I'm glad he's getting the space he needs

Dad: Jst found legal age fr drnkng in Buenos Aires is 18.

Rafe: ????

Dad: I hv friends thr.

Rafe: ???

Dad: Thy r watchn u.

Rafe: Creepy but okay.

HJSDCGUIHJGSDCYUICVXUHVUHKDV

THE BOY'S DRINKING Y'ALL

Do it

MILA IS GOING TO NY!!

I like her. she's nice.

He was leaving soon. He didn’t see the point in lying to her. “I ran away from home. Kind of.”

“Why?”

“I hurt someone I love,” Rafael confessed. “The person I love most in the world.”

honey, it wasn't your fault... hugs

Shit. Why wasn’t Bapak going to the accords signing? He had been there for every single one since the very first time.

no no no no is something wrong?? I'm worried.

“You look taller,” Rafael told his brother who hadn’t grown an inch.

LMAO

Max and I are vertically challenged.

“Rafe, go to talk to him. Or I will tell everyone you’ve been smoking in the balcony!”

So, he was going to pin this on him, huh? This little shit.

well-

“You’ve progressed from freaking to fucking,” he pointed out.

“That’s not the fucking point, Rafael!” Max said in exasperation.

“You did it again,” Rafe pinched Max’s cheek. “My little brother is all grown up now. Linguistically I mean.”

“Dick."

I CAN'T WITH THESE TWO

When he had gone back to Buenos Aires, the place was completely different - even the shadow market.

There were no abandoned children in the streets. There were no racist and ignorant leaders exploiting innocent downworlders.

There was only growth.

His father had done that. Alec Lightwood had helped Joaquin and his people create a new world in Buenos Aires.

This shows how much people can flourish under good leadership if they really try.

YOU KNOW I'M SUPPOSED TO BE TAKING THESE NOTES DOWN, NOT CRYING OVER THIS.

“I will protect our family. I will protect our friends. I will protect those who ask for my protection. But I will not tolerate their hate. I will not turn my head and pretend it doesn’t hurt. Because it does hurt and that’s not okay.”

Rafael smiled at that. “Yeah. Yeah, that’s not okay.”

“The accords is important. But so am I. There is no point in signing a treaty that is meant to value equality if I have to sign it while being surrounded by those who refuse to respect me or my identity. I simply cannot do it, Rafael. I hope you understand.”

I'm sobbing like YES YOU DONT OWE THEM SHIT. THESE UNGRATEFUL BITCHES.

“It’s taken me a while to realize this. But I don’t owe the nephilim anything,” Bapak said firmly. “It’s about time they realize that too.”

YES EXACTLY

“I’ve known shadowhunters for a long time, Rafael. Good ones. Bad ones. All kinds of them – and shadowhunters have always defined themselves by their love. Not by your weapons. Not by your runes. Not by your last names. Not by your laws. Shadowhunters have always defined themselves by love. So, don’t ever let them take that away from you.”

I want this on a T-shirt. These damn shadowhunters and their love.

“Like the Accords Hall kiss?” Rafael grinned.

“It’s the stupidest thing your father had ever done – which is really saying something,” his father laughed. “But it’s also the bravest thing I’ve ever seen him do. And that’s how I knew.”

affectionate sigh that's alec.

“Good. Max is sitting in the porch and singing All by Myself,” Tessa chuckled and closed the door. “Just thought you should know!!”

Rafael giggled at that. “He must have given you hell.”

“Nothing I couldn’t handle,” Bapak shrugged, and Rafael raised an eyebrow. “Fine. I might have promised to buy him a car when he turns 18.”

“You’re hoping he would stop aging by then, aren’t you?” Rafael chuckled.

Max is so dramatic I aspire to be like him.

Blue banners when the lost return, the shadowhunter rhythm said.

Rafael had returned home – and he was no longer lost.

I'm ok I say as I cry during my history class

I'm so proud of him.

“Well, that needs to be rectified immediately,” Dad said in the Consul Voice and literally yelled. “I am about to kiss my son – on both cheeks! You better gossip about this too!”

“Oh my god, stop!” Rafael giggled and tried to escape.

“YAS!” he heard Uncle Jace yelled from somewhere. “GIVE US A FOREHEAD KISS TOO!”

THEY ARE SO DRAMATIC I LOVE THESE IDIOTS SO MUCH.

THEM ADDING TO THE ACCORDS AS THEY SHOULD OMG

“The hell is hate speech?” someone asked.

Do you not have a dictionary you uncultured swine

“There is a very clear difference between free speech and hate speech,” Cristina Rosales pointed out. “The fact that you don’t seem to know that is all the more reason for us to include this provision.”

YES CRISTINA

“By the angel,” an old man gasped. “There is no need to be so emotional. The younger generation can be such snowflakes.”

What if I just strangles him

“Discriminatory language?” a woman demanded. “What does that even mean?”

“Calling vampires bloodsuckers,” Lily Chen answered.

“Calling warlocks demon spawns,” Ragnor Fell pointed out.

“Calling werewolves fleabags,” Maia Roberts declared.

“Calling faeries half-breeds,” Kieran Kingson all but yelled.

The fact that they have had to deal with this shit for YEARS. (also why Kingson? isn't Kieran the king?)

THE QUEEN HERSELF IS HERE Y'ALL

“Which one of you shitheads said hate speech is harmless?” Anjali demanded, her voice booming over everyone and everything else.

YES ANJALI

Anjali had a grin of her own. “While that might true, Paige, there is most certainly a law on child protection. You didn’t just hurt Magnus Bane. You also hurt his son. Section 7 of the Child Protection Bill states that any person who physically or emotionally injures a child through ill-treatment, neglect, abandonment or abuse is guilty of breaking the covenant.”

“Damn straight!” someone yelled from the crowd – it sounded suspiciously like Kit.

CALL THESE BITCHES OUT YES

“Rafael is not a child!” someone yelled again. A lot of them this time. “It’s still not illegal. The law doesn’t say so!”

“By the angel, for someone who is obsessed with the law you people seem to know nothing about it,” Anjali said in exasperation. “The child protection law defines a child as a person under 18 years OR younger. The incident happened when he was still 18. It’s illegal.”

YES ANJALI FUCK THESE PEOPLE

“I’m the Inquisitor’s daughter,” she said. “Next time, think twice before you quote the law at me.”

SHOW THEM, QUEEN

How did she know his birthday????

ahem

“So, if you do hurt him emotionally, you can still be implicated. You will face charges and you can possibly be stripped of your runes,” Anjali pointed out seriously. “Now I ask you again. Does anyone else have to say anything about him?”

There was absolute silence then.

“Didn’t fucking think so,” Anjali spat. “I literally had to mention the stripping of your marks for you to respect another person’s basic rights. If you give half the value you place on your precious runes to other people, we wouldn’t be in exile right now.”

The Cohort looked terrified – of Anjali or their future in the Clave, Rafael didn’t know.

“People are dying,” Anjali said, her voice heavy now. “Our people are fucking dying, and you seem to be more bothered with who is sleeping with whom. Shame on you. Shame on all of you!”

She turned to the Council. The Inquisitor looked like he was going to cry from pride. Rafael’s dad looked half terrified but mostly impressed. Lily was blowing kisses at Anjali. The other downworld leaders looked quite pleased.

Shadowhunters are so fucking bigoted and narrow-minded. I'm seething right now.

also, alec looking scared-

“THAT’S THE BEST SHIT I HAVE EVER SEEN IN MY ENTIRE LIFE!” Emma Carstairs yelled.

“Goddamn, I wish Magnus was here to see this,” Uncle Jace grinned. “That was satisfying as hell.”

“No worries, I recorded the whole thing!” Kit put up his hand.

YES YES AND YES

“Fuck the Cohort,” Rafael giggled.

“Actually, I would prefer you use the word screw,” his father pointed out. “Screw the Cohort!”

“Oh my god, Dad!” Rafael rolled his eyes. “I am allowed to swear once in a while.”

“No, you are not,” Dad said firmly – this man was so not ready to meet Max’s new persona. “As your friend pointed out, you are still a child.”

Alec seeing Max curse left and right: 👁️👄👁️

"She hates me!"

“Rafael, she stood up for you in front of the entire Clave. She fought the Cohort. It was incredibly brave. I wish she had spoken to me before without causing all the chaos. So, it was a little stupid of course. But still brave.”

Stupid but brave.

YESYESYESYES IT'S HAPPENING!!!

ANJALI WHO HURT YOU

WHO DARED TO

Names. Give me names NOW

Jaime no...please no not Jaime.

please please, please

ok, I searched it up. And he can get treatment. He can live. It doesn't have to be serious. please, Jaime...

“If you ever tell anyone you saw me crying, I will drag you to Idris and drown you in Lake Lyn.”

This is such an Anjali thing to say.

OOO MILLA (Mila?) MESSAGED!!! Is there gonna be some sort of love triangle here??

me who despises love triangles (aside from TID of course): ...

BUT SINCE IT'S YOU I'M SURE IT'LL BE AMAZING. I'm still nervous about this though...

UHCUHDVUKDVHUKVHUVHM I LOVED THIS CHAPTER SO SO SO SO MUCH IT WAS A LITERAL ROLLERCOASTER AND ANJALI QUEEN I LOVE

see ya on Friday!!

OKAY I AM LOVING THIS ENERGY BUT PLEASE FOCUS ON YOUR CLASSES FJKSDFHJKSJFHKD I PROMISE THE STORY IS GOING TO BE HERE WHEN YOU GET BACK LOL.

But I am so glad you like it. Amidst all your screaming and chaos, I always find very perceptive and profound observations. It's fantastic! I love it so much!

Thank you for enjoying LBAF - and good luck with your tests!!!

#lbaf

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