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zenosanalytic · 4 years ago

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Growing Up is Hard; It’s Hard and Nobody Understands

So I noticed netflix has Neon Genesis Evangelion up last week and started watching it front to back for the first time ever(this happens to have coincided with me being in a down-mood for your edification, dear readers u_u), finished it today, REALLY liked it, and I wanted to try my hand at explaining what the hell is even going on in NGE cuz it actl seemed super-clear to me(a person who has been consuming NGE analysis and post-NGE media for literally 25 years) u_u

Surface Plot; Or NERV: What the Hell Is It?

I’ll try to make this as brief as possible: An organization of super-wealthy individuals calling itself Seele(looking this up, it means soul in german) wants to possess the power of God. The final third or so of the series is clear on this; it’s all about power. Ikari Yui, a geneticist, is recruited by this organization, and her husband Gendo(having taken her name which says a LOT given typical Japanese practice) comes with her. In seeking out this power, they discover a hollow sphere underneath Antarctica(”The White Moon”), send an expedition there under the guise of the UN, encounter an entity with this power which they label an “Angel”, and do SOMETHING which prompts it to explode the continent flooding the earth and killing half the population(that Gendo left beforehand implies this may have been intentional, or that a bad outcome to Seele’s approach was easy to predict, tho in typical Gendo fashion, his is the only ass he cared to save).

Afterwards Seele blame the scientists for this outcome and send Gendo on a salvage mission which recovers both remains of the Angel, now dubbed “Adam”, and a device they dub “the spear of Longinus”. Seele creates Gehirn to study these remains for practical use; they clone “Adam” and dub the result Evas(Eves). Having cloned them, they now need a way to use and control them as the Evas are non-responsive. They hit on the idea of injecting people into them via the Entry Plug system, presumably to act as a brain. The first person to try this, Ikari Yui, was absorbed by the Eva(Unit 01); the second(Soryu Kyoko Zeppelin; Asuka’s mother) was partially psychologically absorbed by Unit 02, psychologically and mentally injured by this, institutionalized, abandoned by her shit USian husband Langley who remarried to her LEAD DOCTOR, and eventual kills herself in a hanging which Asuka either is the first to discover or, given her memories of promising to die with her/begging her not to do it, was present for. An important thing to note about this: Shinji and Asuka’s ability to sync with their Evas comes from the fact that their mothers are PART of their Eva’s identity, and all of their classmates are potential pilot-candidates. The implication here is that Seele KNEW this happened when you put adults into an Angel, and they KEPT DOING IT ANYWAY to create more pilots, but there’s no confirmation of that in series.

After the attempt at human adult control fails, Gendo combines Yui’s DNA with Adam’s and creates Rei. At the same time he is doing this another team, under Akagi Naoko, is developing Magi, a biomechanical computer for simulating the human mind(again: certain implication to this re: Evas though the series never says anything). Naoko is romantically interested in Gendo, and they start getting together(Gendo’s too much of an asshole to be said to date, I think). After Rei, a toddler, tells her Gendo calls her an “old woman” in private, not realizing this is insulting, Naoko kills her, then kills herself out of shame over having MURDERED A CHILD, and Gehirn is folded into a new organization, NERV, which Gendo is put in charge of. Rei forms the basis of the second attempt at controlling the Evas; child-pilots.

How they use Rei for this I’m not exactly sure. It could be because Rei is cloned from Yui(she easily syncs with Unit 01 before Shinji bonds with it completely), or because she’s part Angel via her Adam element(Kaworu says Angels merge with one another easily and naturally), or it could be they did something with Rei I’s corpse and Unit 00(I dont see how as it seems to require a LIVE pilot). Regardless, she is raised to be the pilot for 00, the prototype. MUCH later, when the rest of the Angels finally decide to come looking for Adam, Shinji is called in, and after his success Asuka(who like Rei and unlike Shinji has been training to pilot her whole life) is called to Nerv headquarters(under Japan, in the “Black Moon”; a second spherical hollow where they found another Angel they call Lilith) too.

Regardless the child-pilots are only a step in Nerv and Seele’s plans, as Rei is ALSO the template for the Dummy Plug system, the final step in complete control of Eva units. To put it simply, the Dummy Plugs are Rei-clones without her personality or memories, and will just do whatever the heck they’re ordered to. At least once during the series(and I’d argue two, possibly three times) Rei dies and is replaced by one of these clones through some process, which involves what looks like a pre 00 Eva’s spine and probably a Magi-like backup, which transfers her personality and memories into the new body.

So what is Nerv? Well it’s hard to say EXACTLY because Gendo is in some sort of conflict with Seele(and I want to keep my watches of End of Evangelion out of this post; to focus entirely on JUST NGE itself) and Nerv IS Gendo, but as the series states repeatedly it’s an attempt to control the future of humanity by controlling what they call “the power of god” which, given that it’s what most distinguishes the “Angels”, is the AT, or “Absolute Terror”, Field. What is the AT Field? It’s a field that can make or unmake any kind of matter or energy from basically nothing, and it also seems to have a strong tie to what you could call the Ego; to desires and sense-of-self. An AT Field gets stronger when the person generating it is experiencing powerful emotions; Confidence, sure, but also Fear, Abandonment, the Will to Live, and Anger.

That last bit is very important. Why? Strong AT Field effects require a powerful emotional motivation in the pilot combined with high sync-rates with the Eva(basically a lobotomized Angel-clone) generating the Field. The three pilots we meet, the Strongest candidates, are all exceedingly traumatized people, and Gendo is the direct cause of the trauma of two of them. At no point in the series is Gendo ever a good father to Shinji, he is CONSTANTLY unreasonable, neglectful, and cruel to him; he’s kinder to Rei but at the same time her loneliness, the state of her “home”, and her lack of self worth shows that he rarely interacts with her outside of missions or explains what’s going on beyond bald facts; and he COMPLETELY ignores Asuka, a deeply lonely child with a history of abandonment and close brushes with death; he even delegates bumping her from the program. This point is important because it’s important to recognize that Gendo is a bad dad on PURPOSE; that he instrumentalizes his bad dadness to traumatize Shinji(and Rei and Asuka, though sadly the series doesn’t focus on them enough for us to see much) as much as he can, because he thinks that trauma, that emotional instability and anger, MAKES SHINJI A MORE USEFUL PILOT; ie lets him generate more powerful AT Fields. This is never said clearly, but it’s clearly what’s going on as forcing Unit 01(and thus Shinji) into awful, heartbreaking, life-threatening situations is vital to his plan. Gendo’s a piece of shit, and I want ppl to recognize just HOW BIG a piece of shit he is, because I feel this powerfully.

And for what? For Power. To be “God”. To get the highest numbers. To generate the MOST Invincible Invincibility Shield. For Ridiculous, Absurd, Childish reasons. For, you know, the same reasons rich and powerful people do all the fucked up shit they do in the real world where giant magic robots thankfully DONT exist.

And how do they plan to do this? Through “Human Instrumentation”, which will literally kill everyone by turning them all into goo.

Metaplot; Or “SHINJI! Don’t Get in that Robot!!”

So, maybe this is just because(as said previously) I’ve been reading NGE Analysis and consuming media which NGE heavily inspired for ~25 years, but I think it’s old hat at this point to note that Neon Genesis Evangelion is ALSO an allegory for becoming an adult, centered on Shinji. However, it’s just really SO on the nose in this, so PERFECT as such a narrative, that I want to run through it real quick. Also: A Cruel Angel’s Thesis is basically a thesis-statement for this series; please check out the lyrics.

So Shinji is living under the guardianship of a teacher(yup: this series even takes a swing at how our society uses schools to warehouse kids so their parents can waste their lives producing “Value” instead of raising them), when the shitty dad that abandoned him decides he has a use for him after all and calls him up.

On meeting with a child he has not seen SINCE HE WAS A TODDLER LITERALLY ABANDONED HIM ON THE STREET WHEN HIS MOTHER DIED he immediately ambushes him with the command that he get in a huge body(that he grow up) to do what? Whatever Gendo tells him to, but specifically: commit acts of violence for Gendo and Seele’s profit. He tells him this will protect people; meanwhile doing it destroys those peoples’ literal homes. The rest of the series is a series of monotonous, incomprehensible “Tests” judging his, and his peers, worthiness for approval and affection on the basis of how well they can use those giant bodies to do what Gendo tells them(so: capitalist work), punctuated by unpredictable, brutal, traumatizing, and physically dangerous events(so: capitalist work). Every friend, and the one lover, he meets, he is placed in unnecessary, destructive competition with and, when they are male, forced to attack and(in the case of the one lover, Kaworu) kill them; this last comment on homophobia is so stark and obvs I don’t even feel like you can CALL it subtext, even IF it plays out over mostly a single episode(honestly this plotline should have been given more time). And all the time they’re doing this, they must ALSO continue going to school and maintaining the front that they’re happy smiley Heroes, completely normal and not traumatized at all, and Nerv and the government that lets them run this city is a great and wonderful organization. Is this not what becoming an adult, over your teens and 20s, feels like?

And then there’s Seele and Nerv. Able to move state governments as they wish, Seele CAUSED Second Impact(Global Warming). By not returning Adam’s remains, they’re CAUSING the Angel attacks on Nerv meant to retrieve them(the threat of Human extinction). The Angels eventually begin trying to communicate and Nerv’s response? Destroy them before they can; blow up the Evas(and their pilots) if they succeed. And to top it all off Seele and Nerv are actually trying to CAUSE the very extinction(Third Impact) they claim to be preventing! Seele and Nerv are just SUCH good metaphors for capitalism in our modern day.

The transwoman reading of Shinji also seems pretty dang strong to me, though I’ll only deal with it shallowly. Shinji is the only “male” of all the pilots. Outside of command and security, most Nerv staff are women. Being an Eva pilot, being Nerv staff, is marked as “feminine”, and Shinji is an Eva pilot; is a Nerv staffer. The body he gets into, Unit 01, acts as a metaphor for the large, imposing, masculine body he’s expected to have as an adult “man”, yet it’s also spiritually his mom -feminine- and his ability to use it is tied DIRECTLY with his ability to “Sync” with that spirit; with his ease and comfort being feminine. Even at the level of mere aesthetics, Shinji’s plugsuit makes him appear to have breasts! Going a bit deeper, he initially relates to the women around him by relating to their gender. He’s most at ease with Rei because of the personality traits she shares with him which, we know from his gender-policing of Misato from earlier in the series, are traits he considers feminine(ie: he doesn’t feel like Misato has them, so he thinks she’s being a woman “wrong” and gets oddly offended by this in a way that really feels more about him than her). Asuka is constantly expressing her frustration with him for not “being a man”, ie, for being “feminine” in her eyes, and he isn’t really bothered by it(her calling him an idiot seems to stick much more firmly). Misato and Shinji establish a modus vevendi when she accepts him as he is, allowing him to do the household chores and to cook; he’s comfortable and happy when accepted into roles his culture considers feminine, while most of the series is him bucking AGAINST the masculinity forced on him by Nerv, his father, and others. Again: this is a very surface-level engagement with the subject, but even at that shallow level I feel like the case for reading Shinji as a transwoman is pretty solid.

Dislikes

It’s not a perfect series by any means of course.

There’s allot of dialogue that’s pure 90s nonsense, though the series mostly includes it only to shoot it down.

Like I said above, I don’t think Rei and Asuka really get the time or attention they deserve. In general the series treatment of women is ...Weird... especially around the issue of sex. It’s really strange; in many ways it’s far better than most anime(spcl from that period) on this. Women are ACTUAL PEOPLE with psychology, opinions, and pasts; they’re allowed to have emotions of their own, and struggles, and to be damn competent; they are independent and their own selves rather than accessories or “prizes” to men. But on the issue of feminine sexuality it just gets suddenly so weird in this very particular old-school misogynist way. Like: it treats women’s attraction and reactions TO relationships as something devoid of and impenetrable to reason, without belittling the emotions(the desire and hurt) behind those reactions. That’s the only way I can describe it, and it’s so strange to see something that is both so insulting and sympathetic at once. Oh, and the Akagis in particular are done super-dirty for seemingly no reason I can see, tho I can guess, and Akagi Ritsuki is CLEARLY a lesbian(possibly bi lesbian) and also Rose Lalonde(srsl; her Deal should have been an unrequited, unspoken crush on Misato. They openly dealt with queerness re: Kaworu and Shinji they could have done it here too).

The Kaworu storyline should have been a series of episodes or even developed from the start with him as another pilot(maybe replace Toji with him), though they’d have to tone down his weirdness, at least at the start. A deeper dive on Shinji’s sexuality(honestly his attraction to Kaworu is SO much more immediate and believable than anything we see with him and Asuka, which there is basically nothing of beyond the ep where they had to do choreography for a fight, and that’s not developed on) would have really been appreciated, and having Kaworu be a bigger part of the series would have facilitated that.

Also honestly the whole series feels a bit rushed? Spcl the second half. Like I said: I haven’t done any followup reading lately, but I remember there being some budget problems or something, so maybe that’s the cause. Ironically it might actl also be why it’s as GOOD as it is; having to keep it short forces you to write concise and lean, and that’s probably why its themes and message are so clear. But, I’d have liked more rambling for character development, and more time spent on seeing Rei and Asuka react to the stresses we saw Shinji face(also they never really get moments to shine like he does; another negative common to the medium and genre). Asuka in particular, as a Japanese German with a USian temperament abandoned by her parents, already an outsider in SO many ways, coming to live in an entirely different culture where she’s even MORE of an outsider; forced to live with people(Misato and Shinji) she finds it impossible to relate to or connect with; who has literally NO ONE beside a single adult guardian who totally blows her off THE WHOLE SERIES after delivering her; PLUS her awful past: there’s just SO MUCH material I’d have loved to see explored more slowly and with greater depth, detail, and sympathy even if what IS there already is pretty powerful and effecting. She’s SUCH a good Vriska(so I’d also have loved to see her break more shit too >:>)

Conclusion

So Anyway: I really liked this series. It had its problems, there are things I’d have liked to see, but it absolutely deserves the reputation it has. I might write more about this, I might do a watch through INCLUDING End of Evangelion(which actl makes much more sense having watched the series, though having done so makes Shinji’s masturbation scene comPLETELY out of left-field like where the hell did THAT come from); we’ll see.

#Neon Genesis Evangelion #The Dreaded Animes #zA Reviews #zA Opinions

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where-s-all-blue · 5 years ago

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Okay so I've entered the Alabasta Arc now (I am actually pretty close to the climax in my rererewatch) so here's some thoughts:

Reverse Mountain:

I personally adored the mishaps the crew has on their way to the GrandLine, and the entire reverse mountain is very intriguing to me to this day. One day, I'll figure out just how on earth that thing works.

Laboon's story, tear jerking, absolutely devastating. Luffy being able to talk sense into a WHALE tells all you need about his ability to befriend beings. He also was the first one to hear Laboon, foreshadow for his later on found ability to Hear All Things or Haki?

Whiskey Peaks:

Ahh the time Vivi tried to be a villain. And Mister 9 is an absolute sweetheart. Honestly they made a pretty good team even if neither of them actually knew how fighting works. Personally I would've loved to see more of them, Mister 9 and Miss Monday seemed like interesting characters.

I keep forgetting about Zoro having supersonic speed in these, I kind of miss him just disappearing only to reappear right in middle of the group to mock their reaction of looking at the place he just was sitting on. The speed of him and his ability to momentarily cut through things he later on can't pretty much just tells you that he does have it in him, but it just isn't conscious thing yet. Also unconscious usage of haki spotted?

Vivi being The Vivi Nefertari is one of the more interesting and intense sequences in the pre-timeskip era, even if it takes less time than for example the Arlong Park does and shows just how devastatingly strong both Luffy and Zoro are. I can't believe that these idiots would retort to a fist fight mid battle.

Mister 5's ability is very unhygienic and I'd like to drown him in sanitizer, Miss Valentine needs to be silenced forever, her laughter creeps me out and she honestly doesn't add any value into the conversation. This is a duo I'd like to murder slowly.

Igram blowing up still gets me, the reactions of the characters, the devastated facial expression of Vivi, the sound design, the shocked looks, it's just so well executed.

Vivi's reaction of mixed feelings regarding Miss All Sunday/Robin, albeit just, is very confusing for me. I remember when I met her the first time and all I could think of was "She's a nice person" just based on her facial expression and the words she used.

I forgot that Luffy broke the eternal log pose Robin gave them. Not because he didn't trust her but because the choice Vivi would've been forced to make after the shock of loosing Igram would've been too much. Also because he didn't want anyone to dictate HOW they get there, he's the captain and as such it's his job to make the final decision, he also appears to have been convinced that this way Vivi would be safe.

Little Garden:

Aah, Little Garden, the island I'd simultaneously love and hate. Love because dinosaurs, hate because loud and probably insects large enough to use me as a quick caffeine filled pick-me-up. I might have a problem.

The fact that I can understand the thought process of these giants concerns me greatly. Is this the power of the Monkey Brain?

Mister 3 would be an amazing character if only we could see his self proclaimed genius in action and hear him go through plans etc. I feel like he's just trying to compensate on his lack of battlefield knowledge and experience. Miss Golden Week is highkey a mood and I love her. I, too, want to paint whatever I want and get paid for it.

Zoro actually started to hack through his own leg because he wanted to fight so badly, what a mad lad. Usopp honestly is flexing with his quick thinking and reflexes here. We love that for him. Go you funky little sniper.

Luffy might've used observation haki instinctively in the Mister 3 crowd.

Sanji managing to outright fool Crocodile to believe that he is Mister 3 indicates that Crocodile has never heard the voices of his underlings before and just assuming that the man who answered is Mister 3. The two also apparently have similar sense of humour. That Crocodile is aware of based on what Robin has told him.

Sanji both taking down the Unluckies without any hesitation nor stopping to think about where they came from really tells volumes about him. He also apparently lied so convincingly that Crocodile was 100% sure that it was Mister 3 fighting Luffy and not a chef beating up his long distance murder pets.

Nami was bitten by a bug, which was the carrier of a rare, nearly dead disease. Based on the amount of time one would usually need to wait for the sickness to develop, I'd say that they were about a week on the ocean before Nami developed the fever.

None of the crew members, Vivi included, thought about doing a full body check on her to see if there were any other symptoms than fever, ie her body actively fighting against the infection/sickness. Also her sickness isn't apparently something that spreads, so it's very unlikely for it to be virus based or spread similar to flu.

Drum Island/Sakura Kingdom:

Nami is capable of sensing the weather, and act upon her feelings, under 40C fever. If I have any level of fever, I am rendered near vegetative state until my fever either goes down or raises past certain level. What I'm saying is that Nami is some sort of Goddess or superhero because of being able to do anything with that fever.

Vivi needing to think about whether or not she can afford waiting extra days for being taken to Alabasta or to change the course to find a doctor is one of the stupidest things ever especially since the person who is sick with such a high fever happens to be the navigator.

Warm welcome by residents is warm. And by warm I mean freezingly cold. I can't believe that Luffy thought about yelling to the person before Vivi bowed her head prompting Luffy to do the same (though heavily "encouraged" by Vivi). Vivi saying that Luffy isn't fit to be the captain reflects very strongly her own views and beliefs, but she keeps forgetting something very simple, yet important. Background. She has no idea about Luffy's past nor how he grew up, she hasn't been long enough with the crew to be able to tell just why people follow Luffy, nor is she aware of how he communicates with people. She doesn't realise that when it comes to Luffy, humility isn't a word to describe him with nor that he would be able to set his own pride aside just yet, Luffy is a 17 year old, a mere child, who has just set out on the sea few months ago, who only knows the harshness of the world, where to survive, you must take things with force or be aggressive. She also isn't familiar with Luffy's way of helping others and going all in no matter the situation.

It's interesting to see how from the time Vivi is with them, Luffy is clearly paying attention to how she does things and how she presents herself, the mannerisms and the likes. It's not as clear idolisation and wish for being equal/better than someone as it was with Katakuri's use of haki, but he is striving to learn. If not because he acknowledges how important manners and humility are, but because it makes things easier on certain places. He especially starts to pay more attention to it once Ace joins them.

By the way the sickness Nami is struck with? It's most likely the same as the one that cost the life of Captain Yorkie of the Rumbar Pirates. After all, the ship doctor couldn't heal it, he didn't know how to, he could only prolong his death for a little while, few days max.

Chopper is a joy to have around and I'd physically fight Doctor Kureha at first sight because WOMAN! YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE ATTACKING YOUR PATIENTS JUST BECAUSE THEY GOT OUT OF THE BED! What if they need to use the restroom. I don't care if you're a youthful 139 year old lady, you can't just do that. Also how the hell are you still able to move that well? Most people I see start to slowly loose their mobility at 60 as their joints are starting to wear out causing pain and their muscle mass is lowering due to the inability to move as much as during their prime.

I am surprised that a reindeer even cares about something like a blue nose. The devilfruit thing? Yeah sure, but not the blue nose. These local reindeer are dicks with human level of obsession to look like the "norm". News flash, there is no default anything. Your appearances are purely dictated by a set of genes that decide to either activate or deactivate as they please without any warning and genes can skip multiple generations. That's why I apparently look identical to my great grandmother.

Nami is kind towards other women and animals. Men not so much, my assumption is that she is carrying a trauma from the Arlong time that she hasn't yet processed and as such she is even now a bit guarded against the rest of the crew.

Hiriluk's character is closer to that of a mad scientist or a very enthusiastic chemist who keeps forgetting that people aren't test subjects. His curiosity and and enthusiasm are something to strive for even if his methods are questionable, all he does want is to bring people sense of hope, wonder and awe. Though I can't help but to wonder about his story. The thief (him) having a serious incurable heart condition and seeing cherry blossoms that cured him. A metaphor for his past self being relentless and uncaring while thieving, but the indescribable beauty of the scenery he saw changed his heart to be more generous and kind?

Hiriluk's death is one of the most important ones in the series if you ask me, it defined Chopper and who he became; Doctor hoping to be capable of curing any disease there is.

#one piece #onepiece #One piece rewatch #One piece commentary #one piece meta #long post #meta commentary #r talks #laboon #Reverse mountain arc #Whiskey Peaks Arc #Little Garden Arc #drum island arc #Sakura Kingdom Arc #op spoilers?#op spoilers

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danseinthefallout · 6 years ago

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the art of danse - two

a paladin danse fanfiction

story warning; this story contains strong language, adult themes (such as violence, smut/NSFW themes, drug use, and other harsh themes) and canon and un canon language and story plots of Fallout 4 and Fallout 3.

summary; yea, the bombs may have fallen, but art and love have not. and of course, people still tell white lies

word count; 3.5k

chapter two; synthetic childhood

Everything went back to normal, as best as things can. It’s been around three days since Stella’s adventures out in the Commonwealth. That wasn’t going to stop her, she was planning on making way back to the police station in a couple of weeks. Luckily, the signal at the police station was now strong enough that Stella’s Pip-Boy cough their signal, so she could communicate with Haylen. She found that out last night while she was working on modding her guns, a strange voice came from it. At first, she was concerned, but when Haylen stated it was her and she realized she left the signal on her Pip-Boy, she was happy to hear from her. Haylen was happy to talk to someone other than people who were apart of the Brotherhood, and Stella was happy she could talk to Haylen, maybe she could get a signal elsewhere.

“What’s the craziest thing you fought?” Haylen asked to throw the speaker as Stella was tinkering with the gun she was making for Danse as a thank you. Stella sat back and thought about her question. Haylen snuck away to talk to her before Ryhs or even Danse would find her. Haylen has so many questions for Stella, about her crazy adventures she had.

“At 16, I fought two Deathclaws in the middle of a Gunner shoot out. For some reason, the Deathclaws didn’t attack me, but they did help me kill the Gunners… then they tried to attack me so I shot one square in the head but it did manage to rip my gun in two before it blood out… so I had to try to kill the other Deathclaw with my combat knife. It took a while before I confused the Deathclaw and I ended up crawling on his back and slitting its throat… I should have just taken one of the Gunner’s gun and shooting them, but that thought didn’t cross my mind,” Stella said through the mic. “I know it sounds so untrue, but I have the scar to prove it,” Stella stated as she felt the scare on her neck and chest. It was nasty and when she got it, she swore she was going to die right then and there and be a Deathclaw’s dinner.

“Jesus…” Haylen sighed, baffled by Stella’s story “I think with that, you have Elder Maxon beat…” Haylen laughed. Stella blushed.

“You think I’d be a good Elder?” Stella laughed. “Ah, just kidding, you shouldn’t answer that,” Stella stated. Stella could hear someone walking in.

“Hey, Haylen, who are you talking too?” A familiar voice was heard. It was Danse

“It’s- It’s Stella, Paladin. The signal was strong enough that I’m able to contact Stella,” Haylen stated. Stella’s cheeks where flushed, thinking about the Paladin.

“Hi, Danse!” Stella cheered.

“Hello, soldier, nice to hear from you again… Haylen, Ryhs needs to talk to you,” Danse spoke with seriousness in his tone.

“Oh… okay. Bye Stella!” Haylen cheered.

“Bye Haylen. Talk to you soon okay?” Stellas asked.

“Of course,” And with that Haylen disconnected from the channel. Stella smiled as she looked at the loose pieces of the rifle she was modding.

Stella got up from her desk as she went to the kitchen in her quarters. She lived with Lucas and Joanna and their quarters were rather large. However, tonight, she was home alone. Lucas and Joanna went to the ‘night club’ for some free drinks, but Stella wanted to stay behind to do some modding and to talk to Haylen of course.

Stella went to the fridge as she grabbed an ice-cold Nuka-Cola. Endcliff was a freak about pre-war foods and actually being edible, so their scientists and chefs would get together to make them. It was nice.

She took a sip, and sat down, unsure of what to do next of her rifle, maybe a suppressor? Ah, who knows. Stella just decided to move her little gun project back in her locker and pull out her typewriter, might as well finish that play she was writing for Cosmos…

The thing with Endcliff, is that they value education and the most important art and anything creative. That’s why it’s such a perfect fit for her. Stella always valued things like crafting, music, writing, painting, and dance. It would help heal wounds that were never physical. She remembered when she ran off to Goodneighbor in hopes of a memory wipe, she would sketch all the emotions she felt in her notebook. Luckily, before anything could happen, Nick Valentine busted in, helping her cope with her emotions, with her friends by her side. She realized that maybe she could learn from this and make art to express the awful feeling that flowed throw her veins. Or where they veins?

Yea, the past 4 years have been difficult after her little disappearing act, but who could blame her? The women just found out she’s a fucking synth prototype and everyone is after her? Was her mother really her mother? Or just a vessel for a synthetic baby? All her childhood felt so real, but was it real to everyone else?

Vault-Tec and the Institue? What a cluster fuck for disaster.

What scared her the most is that the Institue still is after her. Even when she was captured at 19, she managed to wipe her entire file and flee. She was safe for now… but she keeps wounding when her time will run out and there will be a ninth attempt on her life.

She kept that all to herself, the only people who knew her true self where her family and Nicky. She was happy about her new friendship with Valentine. He was fun and treated her with such care. He was like a father figure to her new identity and well, Nick felt comfort when she was around. A prototype. Just like him.

It was cruel what they did, telling her that she’s just a science project to those fuckers at the Institute on her 18th birthday, making her life crumble and saying her time was up. She couldn’t do that. She had to find something or someone else. Leave, forever. She realized she didn’t want that. Fuck the Institue.

The funny thing is, Stella, remembers her childhood like everyone normal child can… or as normal as one can get. Her oldest brother being in a gang and harassing everyone that crossed him and playing with anyone but the kids her age. The vault was never supposed to open. That’s what the Institute wanted. They thought that if they grew up on in a vault, they can easily get information, but now she’s here, in the Commonwealth where their little labs are. I guess she always knew something was off with her. She was anxious all the time and thought nothing she did was normal. She questioned her sexuality and her place in the world. It hit her too that she liked everyone, even ghouls and synths. She just didn’t care. Pre-war days, they would have a name for that.

She was lucky she made way to Little Lamplight after she lefts her life behind. She never really cared for the vault, no one ever cared for her. She did question if anyone ever tried to look for her, but she didn’t look for them, so it was whatever.

Stella never saw the world until she was 12. Broken… lost… She saw pictures of it before the bombs fell and she’d hope something of that life was still there. It was the Mayor of Lamplight that befriended her, they where close. He was the only one she talked to before she up and left again. Robert MacCready. Stella heard a rumor he was running with Gunner’s now and he made way to the Commonwealth too. She’d hope to bump into him at some point, maybe without the bloodshed, of course

Stella traveled everywhere in the Capital Wasteland before she made way to the Galaxy News Radio station. It was a blur at that time of her life. Brotherhood of Steel soldiers were doing their business. They were kind enough to let her stay there. Maybe that’s why she’s so drawn to the Brotherhood, even if they wanted to hunt her down now. Or maybe it was the fact that her first kiss and even doing that for the first time was with a Knight. She was 15, 2 months before she was planning on leaving and she had a crush on a new Knight… Knight Micheal. He was 17. The two hung out a lot and well… one thing leads to another and she was no longer a virgin. But that’s neither here or there.

Stella sat there, staring mindlessly, caught up in her thoughts. For a machine whose every waking moment was supposed to be programmed, she sure did think a lot. Quite honestly, with everything that happened since she got the news about herself, a lot of shit happened and well… she somehow saw the positive in it all. Even when the Institue did capture her only a year later. She learned a lot about herself in that time slot. She saw a lot of things she wishes she could be programmed to forget, but maybe… it was there for a reason. No matter what people say… no matter what the Brotherhood says or those bastards at the Institue, she is human. People forget what human even means in this climate.

Stella’s relationship with herself and other synths are always off and on, but to be fair, no other person outside Endcliff knows, it was the ones who were mindless under orders, jealous, almost towards her. She never understood why. Maybe the fact she remembered her childhood, had a real mother and father… but underneath it all, they were apart of the experiment all the same. She did feel bad for those wishing to have that loving mother or father, but that was never up to her. Nothing was. Besides her escape, of course.

The Institue was stupid enough to have every track record of there captured and escaped synths and there every move. Just on a terminal for anyone that can get their hands on it. They didn’t know she was going to escape with a few others, but she overheard a few idiots talking about it and so she found her file and deleted it so that when she’s back home, they won’t have a clue where she was. LV-32. Gone. It was a stupidly complicated yet simple plan with a lot of waiting. At least someone helped her. The Railroad.

Stella always heard about The Railroad even before she found out about being LV-32. She knew someone in The Institue was dancing with them. She owed a little bit of her freedom because of them.

Stella had no clue who was apart of there secret cool kids club, or anyone from Endcliff. When she got back from here escape, a new resident, Athena, moved in. Stella always thought she was odd, but she respected it. They talked every now and again when she went to Cosom’s. She ended up working costumes and was a fantastic seamstress. She could make anything you ever wanted to wear, amazing for any production Cosmos would put on. Athena would always ask Stella questions, not invasive questions if Stella had any, she was a pretty open person after all (besides her synth nature to outsiders)

Stella and Athena bonded a month after everything. Cosmo wanted to put on a production of a play he worked on called Poison of Creature he wrote with the help of Lucas. Stella played Noble, a woman who was a witch. Athena did all her costumes and hung out a lot backstage with Stella. It was no Lucas or Joanna to the level of trust and closeness, but she was glad she made a new friend.

It wasn’t until closing night she got a chance to meet… Deacon… and Glory and Tinker Tom. Athena invited some “friends” from her old settlement to watch the play and come to the little after party back at Cosmos’ place. Stella hit it off with Athena’s friends and well… months later told her everything or enough that Dez wouldn’t skin any of them alive. Just like the Brotherhood, she didn’t join them, but she did befriend them.

Stella was kicked off out of her through as she heard her radio coming on, someone was trying to contact her. It was probably Haylen again.

“Haylen? Is that you?” She spoke, leaning into the mic.

“No. This is Paladin Danse. Scribe Haylen is on a mission, she’ll be back in a few hours… I… I hope you don’t mind, but I wanted to speak to you… if you have time, that is,” Danse voice was husky and Stella couldn’t help but swoon. She was so happy to hear from him again.

“I always have time for you and your team, Paladin,” Stella spoke with professionalism.

“Please, call me Danse… I just wanted to properly thank you for helping us. It has been a stressful time and I would have left for the Prywen by now but I have to stay with my time to make sure they are good. I’m happy Haylen has continued to keep in contact with you,” Danse said, honestly.

“I’m glad to help out… sometimes we forget to help others… speaking of which, I’m making you something as a thank you, will you be at the police station in a week?” Stella asked. Danse chuckled, you could hear him blushing.

“I’m supposed to go back to the Prydwen in a few days, but I can always tell the Elder I need more time… that’s very thoughtful of you, soldier…” He paused as Stella smiled. Oh boy, she could feel that crush feeling crawling in. Not in this climate! “I’m glad you picked up, I wasn’t sure who or what I’d be talking to with Haylen’s radio,” Danse chuckled.

“I’m glad you contacted me. I have a million things I should do, but no inspiration is hitting me at the moment,” Stella admitted as she looked at the empty page of her play and the loose screws of her gun. Ugh, creation block.

“Inspiration for what?” Danse asked.

“I’m writing a play and modding something special… usually, I’ll have the first scene of my play done and the rest just come naturally, but… I think I can’t get my mind off of what happened. I can’t write about our loses or my adventures ether. It’s been the plot of my last 3 plays. Love? Murder? Synthetic lies?! Ah, sorry for rambling…” Stella stumbled over her words as she thought of another generic plot point.

“You’re a writer? We don’t have many of those nowadays. I always wanted to go to a play, but I’m always busy for the Brotherhood. Maybe write something that could have happened before the war… Baseball or country music. Simple. Peaceful…” It was clear that Danse, too was trailing off, but Stella listened to him carefully. She didn’t know a lot about things from before the war. She only knew of this life.

“You’re more than welcome to come to Endcliff, we usually have productions of plays that our friend Cosmos puts on. Sometimes it’s someone else. He’s currently running around like a madman, putting up a rusty set. And yes, I’m more of an artist, you could say. I paint and dance and sometimes I bang on tables! Damnit that sounded… sexual, ah… you know what I mean,” Stella laughed, completely making herself sound like a fool. Danse laughed at her, enjoying the conversation they were having.

“I’ll try to find a way to Endcliff, and I think I have an idea of what you mean. I heard stories of Endcliff, it sounds like such a strange place, the Brotherhood could make use of such a place,” Danse replied.

“I’d hope you’re not planning on raiding us… you’re making me nervous, Paladin,” Stella joked. “And yea, Endcliff is about education and art. A lot of settlers and traders and people of all walks of life come here, some live here. Mayor Kinnojo kept it safe and the same since his father passed away. We don’t keep people out, but you do have to pass security and Benji takes his job seriously… expect for the raider ambush… poor Benji is still trying to hold himself together… Anyways, hows Brotherhood life? And don’t worry I’m not trying to get you to tell me all your secrets,” Stella laughed.

“The Brotherhood is an honor to be in. I’ve works hours with my brother and sisters, saw many good soldiers come and go. My whole life is dedicated to the Brotherhood… but you can say it’s more than that,” Danse let out a comforting sigh. “Have you considered joining the Brotherhood? After taking care of yourself, you seem to be what the Brotherhood is looking for,” Danse asked. Stella thought about it for a moment.

“I ride solo, only really ride with Lucas and Joanna and for the people in Endcliff. It’s funny, back in the Capital Wasteland, I was around with a lot of Brotherhood soldiers but never would want to become one myself. I’d rather just do things my way, help people I want to help. I’m unsure why people always ask me to join their clubs… I mean, it’s nice that people think I’m good enough for them, but… it’s all bullshit,” Stella spoke with honesty. Maybe she should join one of those ‘clubs’. “I traveled with many people before I meet Joanna and Lucas, I was working with a raider gang, fixing their guns at one point. Hated every second of that gig… And of course the kids at Little Lamplight and the soldiers at Galaxy News Radio… but none of it felt like me. Yea, sure it gets lonely as hell when all you do is run with two people or even by yourself, but at those times I remember why I do it. To find clarity,” Stella looked at the blank page in her typewriter. “I suck… sorry for my life story… I really need to take it easy on the Nuka Cola,” Stella awkwardly laughed.

“It’s okay, soldier. I understand. I hope you change your mind and join us down the line,” Danse stated. If only he knew what she was… “I’m sorry to cut it short, but I have to go, Haylen and the team is back. I hope to see you soon,” With that and two goodbyes, the channel on her radio lost signal. She looked at her Pip-Boy. It was now midnight.

Stella got up and put on her coat. She wanted to go to Vista’s for a drink and some fucking food.

Usually, sitting at a bar, by yourself at midnight would be pretty fucking sad, but it’s Vista’s and tonight Kamilia was working. Stella sipped her whiskey as she listened to Liza Bush do her set. For such a popular hot spot for drunken mistakes, it was pretty fucking quiet tonight.

“Come here often?” Stella heard a recognizable voice next to her as she shifted her body. She prayed it wasn’t Danny… she would hate herself if it was… She took a sip as she looked to her left to see Deacon. She smiled and rolled her eyes as Deacon moved to sit next to her.

“Yes, all the time… What brings you back to Endcliff? Forget a disguise of ‘Pretentious Art Snob?’” Stella asked, making Deacon laugh.

“That would be such a good disguise for a place like this… but no… I came here to talk to you,” Deacon had some seriousness in his voice as Stella tilted her head in concern.

“Deacon is everything okay?” Stella asked.

“Yes… and well… no. Remember that man who was with me last time I visited Athena? F8-L9 or Gray we called him?” Deacon asked, catching Stella’s mind up.

“Oh yes! He had a passion for the arts, a perfect fit for Endcliff. Is everything alright with him?” Stella asked.

“He was supposed to be here with me so he could get a residentship here after speaking with Mayor Kinnojo, but Glory said he went all cuckoo and fleed to Goodnaighbor for a memory wipe, I’m afraid the Institute is after him and he just had a memory wipe before his visit,” Deacon explained the situation. Stella took another sip of her drink.

“That sounds like a hard deal… two memory wipes in that short amount of time can be dangerous and afar from the Institue goes, you guys always got that part covered,” Stella stated.

“You’re going to hate me, but we need your help,” Deacon spoke. Stella raised her eyebrows.

“Why me? I’m not even an agent,” Stella reminded Deacon.

“Because what I’ve gathered, Gray really likes you and your art and maybe you could tell him something that could convince him. We don’t have to leave until tomorrow evening… Please, you owe us this much. And besides, don’t you miss traveling with this face?” Deacon asked as he batted his eyelashes, but of course, couldn’t see with him wearing sunglassed in a dim bar.

“Fine, but we’re going to Cambridge Police Station, I have to give a Paladin something for helping me,” Stella explained.

“Okay, deal… Thank you, Stella,” Deacon smiled as he got up and left. What happened with running alone?

Authors Note; This has been really fun writing and I have a whole plot for this story. Don’t worry, I won’t flood your timelines with only this story, I’ll post other junk too. Hope you enjoyed and my asks are open for anything x

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gffa · 7 years ago

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This is a really fascinating piece about the Jedi, their values/methods, and the view of them through the lens of therapy, as written by a psychologist--in that their methods are analogous to actual therapy methods--especially the focus on mindfulness as something that I think applies a lot to Anakin:

Jedi or not, mindfulness has many physical and psychological benefits. In fact, regular mindfulness practice can reduce anxiety and depression, reduce symptoms of PTSD, improve mood, improve brain functioning, and potentially prolong life.

It struck me, while reading, that anxiety is a big focus of this essay as through the lens of what mindfulness (paying attention to your feelings, being in the present moment with them, which is what the Jedi teach) is something incredibly applicable to Anakin Skywalker, that the list of symptoms I often see in him (whether narratively intended or not, I certainly see them!) are pretty spot on. It also talks about what non-attachment means (” Non-attachment refers to allowing things to be as they are.“), how the Jedi’s methods are about psychological flexibility, and how, “it turns out that the Jedi might have been onto something”.

So You Want to Be a Jedi? Learning the Ways of the Force through Acceptance and Commitment Therapy by Jenna Busch and Dr. Janina Scarlet, Ph.D.

Obi-Wan Kenobi: “Master Yoda says I should be mindful of the future.” Qui-Gon Jinn: “But not at the expense of the present moment.” “Mindfulness means paying attention in a particular way; on purpose, in the present moment, and nonjudgmentally.” —biomedical scientist Jon Kabat-Zinn

Sure, it looks cool to wield a lightsaber and fight against the Imperial Stormtroopers, but what does it actually take to become a Jedi? Which Jedi practices resemble mental health practices currently used to help people with various mental health disorders? What are the main differences between a Jedi and a Sith, and how do they relate to mental health? The Jedi Knights study and serve the Force, a mystical energy that connects all things. They fight as a last resort. They are guided by the Force and follow principles of non-attachment and self-discipline. The Jedi also value mindfulness, acceptance, and compassion, all of which have been shown to help people with various psychological disorders, such as anxiety, depression, and posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD), chronic pain, substance addictions, and other disorders. Therapies that specifically focus on some of these “Jedi” skills are known as mindfulness-based therapies, and include acceptance and commitment therapy, mindfulness-based cognitive therapy, and dialectical behavior therapy. Learning Psychological Flexibility: Mindfulness Each Jedi spends a lifetime training to use and be one with the Force. The Force is a kind of metaphysical power that guides the Jedi. It is said to be everywhere and in everything. The Jedi Masters teach their Padawans from an early age to quiet their minds in order to be able to connect with the Force. This connection with the Force is a form of mindfulness, which refers to paying attention to the present moment on purpose, without judgment or distraction. It turns out that the Jedi might have been onto something. Jedi or not, mindfulness has many physical and psychological benefits. In fact, regular mindfulness practice can reduce anxiety and depression, reduce symptoms of PTSD, improve mood, improve brain functioning, and potentially prolong life. Many people spend a great deal of time feeling devastated about the past, as Anakin Skywalker does about not being able to see his mother anymore after she dies, and worrying about the future, as Anakin does when he fears losing Padmé. Instead, mindfulness focuses on the present moment. This practice may include noticing the sounds that are present in the environment, observing emotions, or paying attention to one’s own breath or other physical sensations that arise naturally in the body. The key is to notice when the attention drifts away from the intended focus and to bring it back nonjudgmentally, accepting the experience as it is. Sometimes when a person is engaging in an unpleasant task, such as cleaning out the refrigerator, or is feeling a painful emotion, like sadness or anxiety, focusing on this experience might be difficult. However, research shows that people who are more mindful of their experiences, who connect with their feelings and tasks, even if they are unpleasant, are generally significantly happier than people who try to distract themselves or focus on something more pleasant. Acceptance and Commitment Therapy Acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT) is a type of therapy that uses similar skills to those that the Jedi teach. The primary idea behind ACT is that mental disorders stem from psychological inflexibility, such as thinking only in absolute terms (as the Sith do)—“If you’re not with me, then you’re my enemy.” To help people who struggle with psychological inflexibility, ACT focuses on the following six skills to increase psychological flexibility:

1. Mindfulness—paying attention to the present moment, something Yoda and other Jedi Masters spend a lot of time doing. For example, Yoda encourages Luke to be mindful as he tries to help him balance rocks and lift the X-Wing from the swamp in Degobah.

2. Acceptance—the willingness to feel and connect with any sensations and experiences a person has. Obi-Wan accepts his fate when he fights Darth Vader and lets Vader strike him down on the Death Star.

3. Self-as-context—focusing on non-attachment to a specific outcome or identity. After the Clone Wars, Obi-Wan did not present himself as a Jedi any more and even changed his name to Ben. He remained true to himself, however, illustrating that one doesn’t necessarily need to be a Jedi to be an honorable person.

4. Defusion—separating oneself from one’s thoughts. People can “get hooked” by believing their thoughts are completely true, even though their thoughts are not accurate. Defusion refers to mindfully recognizing that a thought is yet another experience. For example, “I’m having a thought that Padmé is going to die” would be more accurate and flexible than “Padmé is going to die.”

5. Values—identifying the most important life directions for a specific person. The Jedi value their connection with the Force, as well as honor and education.

6. Commitment to actions—acting on one’s own values. The Jedi value protecting others. By protecting innocent people, the Jedi are committing to their core values.

In the Star Wars series, the more mindful one is about his or her experience, pleasant or unpleasant, the more that person can connect with and use the Force. For example, when Yoda initially trains Luke Skywalker on Dagobah, Luke struggles with lifting the X-Wing out of the swamp because of his lack of focus. It might seem strange that focusing on an unpleasant experience, like anxiety or frustration, might be more helpful than distracting oneself from it. The research on mindfulness suggests that it might lead to an increase in the “feel good” brain responses by releasing neurotransmitters, such as endorphins and dopamine. In addition, mindfulness practice can improve the person’s physical health, especially when it comes to telomere length. Telomeres are the end parts of the human DNA found in each of our living cells. The longer someone’s telomeres, the longer one’s lifespan and the healthier a person can be. Telomeres shorten naturally with age, as well as with stress and disease. People with chronic stress, anxiety disorders, and Alzheimer’s disease tend to have shorter telomeres. However, practicing mindfulness seems to slow down the process of telomere shortening and might essentially improve someone’s psychological and physical health.

In the Star Wars series, stronger connection with the Force (through the practice of mindfulness) does seem to prolong the lives of Jedi. The Jedi who have an especially strong connection with the Force can in some way transcend death, returning as a Force ghost, as Obi-Wan Kenobi and Yoda do. When they return as Force ghosts, the Jedi can continue to guide their Padawans, even after apparent death. Non-attachment One of the fundamental lessons a Jedi needs to master is non-attachment. The Jedi are forbidden to marry or hold strong attachments, as they believe that any emotion might lead one to the dark side of the Force. Non-attachment refers to allowing things to be as they are. For example, Anakin is attached to becoming a Jedi Master and when the Jedi Council refuses to appoint him as such, he becomes furious. In this example, Anakin’s attachment to the specific outcome causes him to become angry, a trait of the dark side. Attachment refers to the expectation of pleasurable experiences (for example, always being around loved ones) and the unwillingness to experience changes or let go of changes. Attachment to people or the expectation of specific outcomes may cause the individual additional suffering. A way to practice non-attachment is through the process of acceptance. Acceptance refers to the willingness to mindfully experience one’s feelings, as well as any life events that one does not have control over. This does not mean that the individual has to enjoy these experiences, but rather that the person does not struggle against them. Very often the struggle against something that cannot ultimately be avoided (experiential avoidance) only increases a person’s psychological distress. Acceptance is one of the Jedi qualities that Anakin struggles with the most. In his failure to practice acceptance and his attempts to control his own fate, as well as the fates of his loved ones, Anakin becomes increasingly obsessed with the fear of losing the people closest to him. Anakin’s unwillingness to experience fear leads him to engage in Sith-like attempts to avoid or control these emotional experiences. Experiential avoidance and disconnection from one’s values are tied to many psychological disorders, such as addiction and impulsivity, depression and anxiety disorders, PTSD, and even suicide. People driven by experiential avoidance often become impulsive, angry, and even violent, all of which violate the practice of the Jedi. For example, when Tusken Raiders kill Anakin’s mother, he not only kills those responsible but takes his anger out on innocent Tuskens as well. Failure to practice acceptance, as evidenced in Anakin’s fear of losing Padmé, drives him to try to control his and Padmé’s fates, which results in him joining the dark side. Self-Discipline Along with being one with the Force, the Jedi must learn to conquer arrogance, overconfidence, and defeatism. Above all else, the Jedi need to master self-discipline in order to master the rest of their training. Some of the guiding principles of self-discipline might include patience, restraint, and trust in the Force. Patience is an especially important quality, as the absence of patience, like the lack of acceptance, can lead to anger, impulsivity, and, as in the case of Anakin, making poor choices, which is a sure way to the dark side. In psychology, self-discipline is sometimes taught in terms of following one’s values, which means personal life directions, such as spending time with friends and loved ones, receiving education, and being kind and compassionate to others. Most of these principles seem to align with those of the Jedi. The Jedi are honorable warriors, who must only use the Force to gain knowledge and as a form of a defense against an enemy, but never to attack. They must use their knowledge and abilities to protect others and should practice compassion toward other beings, including prisoners. Despite having only a limited training, Luke Skywalker not only understands these concepts, he embodies them. Even when his life is in danger, he refuses to kill his worst enemy, Darth Vader, and when an injured Vader is dying, Luke shows compassion. Compassion refers to acknowledging the suffering of another being, having a desire to alleviate that suffering, and taking some kind of action or expressing the intention to reduce the suffering. Luke recognizes that Darth Vader is in pain and, wishing to alleviate his suffering, he comforts him and honors Vader’s last wish of helping him take off his helmet. Sometimes erroneously believed to be a weakness, compassion toward others requires great strength of character and has even been found to be helpful in reducing psychological suffering. For example, practicing compassion for just a few months has been shown to drastically reduce the symptoms of PTSD and depression in war veterans, suggesting that compassion is beneficial for mental health. Jedi versus Sith: Psychological Flexibility versus Inflexibility: Overall, the differences between the Jedi and the Sith can be compared to the differences between psychological flexibility and inflexibility. According to the six skills of acceptance and commitment therapy, psychological flexibility comes from practicing acceptance, mindfulness, non-attachment to thoughts and identity labels (i.e., defusion and self-as-context), and following one’s values, such as protecting others and being compassionate, all of which the Jedi are encouraged to practice. For example, in the video game Knights of the Old Republic, the Jedi Bastila Shan’s compassion leads her to save the life of the Sith Lord Darth Revan after he is betrayed by his apprentice. In fact, this act of compassion brings him back to the light side. On the other hand, a Sith, who does not practice acceptance and commitment therapy skills, is likely to use his or her power to further personal ambitions. The Sith are stereotypically dealing “in absolutes,” lack acceptance, and tend to be impulsive. They try to control life and death, as well as fate and their experiences, and usually lack compassion. The Sith are generally willing to commit a murder in order to gain or maintain power. Emperor Palpatine, for example, trains Count Dooku as his apprentice, despite later planning to have Anakin kill Dooku. This is all part of Palpatine’s plan to get Anakin to join the dark side. Overall, it seems that most of the skills taught to the Jedi—mindfulness, compassion, acceptance, and helping others—can be helpful in overcoming or possibly preventing various psychological disorders. While the Sith qualities—striving for personal gain, lack of compassion, and lack of acceptance—generally seem associated with psychological disorders. It might be more tempting to be on the dark side, but the way of the Jedi and the light side seems to offer the most benefits and to lead to mental health and stability.

#obi wan kenobi #anakin skywalker #luke skywalker #jedi #jedi order #sith #psychology #mindfulness #meta

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crabnby · 6 years ago

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ok @the-defiant-pupil i'm just gonna go ahead and make a new post bc this is about to get too long for my adhd ass

(context: continuation of this post)

1. funny thing is, i've actually read most of your sources already. they get really, really boring after awhile though, bc all of them start to say the same thing: yes there are differences, but there are also similarities, and scientists have yet to figure out the significance of this.

i'm not gonna go through each and every one of your sources, and i shouldn't be expected to either. when it comes to biological research, find the most recent articles with the most solid evidence/conclusions and call it good. don't dredge up an entire archive. i could find you sources that only characterize lichens as 2 symbiotic organisms rather than 3, but that wouldn't be correct bc the most recent research says otherwise. so yeah, just bc you CAN find that much info out there doesn't mean all of it is viable and should be used.

also, you can't just list a bunch of sources and expect it to be enough. you should contextualize them, explain them, tell your audience why each one matters. if you're really going to have that many, then be prepared to give a short annotation for each one bc i can guarantee you no one has enough time on their hands (or in my case, attention span) to read that many sources

your "plain as day" source by the way?? says this as well:

this is what i was talking about earlier!! do you actually read, contextualize, and analyze what you read? or do you just find the first line you agree with and run with it?

bc what i got from reading that article is that even after years of research and the largest study to date, scientists STILL don't fully understand what they're looking at, and they might never. so we, as people Not Actively Researching This Subject should be incredibly hesitant to draw our own conclusions when even the researchers can't do so.

i also like that the author mentions how socialization can affect brain structure and development — did you know that domestication causes visible differences in gene structure between the ancestor and current-day species? bc of selective breeding, humans changed the genetics of dogs, cows, crops, etc.; genetics changed bc of domestication, domestication didn't come about bc of a change in genetics. and i KNOW that you're going to tell me this has nothing to do w what we're talking about, but it does hold a similar concept: it's not just genetics and bodily functions that affect behavior, the environment has an equally important role.

similarly, gene expression in almost every species is highly regulated by the environment just as equally as it is the body (and for clarification: environment means anything external, body means anything internal). as are hormonal responses, reflexes, emotions, etc. all of which can have subtle but lasting impacts on the body! i don't actually think that anti-transmeds are trying to deny science when we say that how your brain developed is not the only thing that affects gender identity! i think it's kinda actually the opposite!

2. i've haven't heard of this tumblr biologist, so please direct me to their publications, i'd actually really love to read them

3. science literacy is a whole other beast than literacy in general. like, yes, you have to be able to read, but suddenly specific word choice and HOW you read articles becomes important. it goes from reading chronologically (english literacy) to reading section by section and contextualizing what you've read in previous sections and articles so that by the end you understand the initial hypothesis, if the evidence ACTUALLY proved it, if their methods were sound, and why it matters in the particular field.

i'm not trying to say that people who aren't studying science can't read peer-reviewed articles and understand them, but you do have to realize that it's a completely new skillset you have to practice over and over again, not just something you can pick up on the fly

4. i think you completely missed my point about the anti-vaxxer movement. the reason it started was bc McBastard Wakefield published his article and before any other research could be done to refute it or back it up, the greater population picked it up and ran with it. 7 or so years since it's been debunked and he lost his medical license, but people still believe him bc he got published, and to some of the most accredited journals at that.

my point was that just bc the research exists doesn't mean we should accept it at face value until the medical/scientific community can undeniably say "this is what this is, and what it means." and they're STILL doing further research, which means that hasn't happened yet. bc the whole point of science, and by extension research, is to never be satisfied w your results, and instead continue to look for more than you can currently see. or at least that's what i've been taught.

bc to look at published articles and assume that they MUST be true bc it's PUBLISHED SCIENCE is...exactly what the anti-vaxxer movement began on. and i'd rather not repeat that.

(please show me, by the way, how """tucutes""" 1. actually exist and 2. harm anyone by simply living their own damn lives)

5. yeah """""tucutes""""" don't have any science bc uh.....there really is none. science is a process, and we're currently in the research phase which means NO ONE should be using it as proof. it's good to say "hey this exists" but to completely invalidate someone's existence based on studies that scientists are still trying to understand? that's called abusing and misconstruing results

6. i'm guessing you don't actually care, but sure. i'll explain mating types of fungi to you.

in short: genetic diversity is advantageous for survival, and fungi are nothing if not crafty little bastards, thus 1000s of mating pairs for better chances of sexual compatibility

in long: each mating type is determined by a set of genes. really, you can think of mating types as extended alleles, since each distinct allele has a distinct mating type.

so as for 5 different mating types and how they're different...there you go. that'd be like asking me to tell you 5 different alleles of the same gene and how they're different. the only difference is in sequence and then how they're expressed due to differences in sequence.

usually we don't categorize every single mating type since that'd be a bit...much.

however, we can and do categorize fungi by how they reproduce! i.e., what kind of syntamy do they display? can they go through diploid selfing? can they inbreed or only out cross? what's their primary stage of life: diploid or haploid? do they rely on sexual reproduction or asexual reproduction? if it's an ascomycete, do they form pericarps or ascocarps?

in fact, one of the main differentiators between fungi is their life cycle, most of which is geared towards reproduction. that's why although basidiomycetes and ascomycetes are the only fungi that can form macro fruiting bodies (as well as many, many other similarities), they'll always be categorized differently.

but i digress. the reason i compared fungal mating types to brain morphology and "sex" categorization is bc i was making an analogy. i'm not a neurologist, as you can probably tell at this point, but that doesn't mean i haven't taken any classes that covered the brain pretty extensively.

what i was really trying to say was this: everything that i've read so far says that although there's definitely some differences between brains, there's also a significant amount of overlap, so much so that when you try to categorize the brain into two distinct types, you're still going to have an incredible amount of variety.

likewise, you could, theoretically, do the same to fungi. you could sequence the genes from each mating type, determine the different SNPs, and categorize them into two distinct groups based on what SNPs they do/don't have. it wouldn't make sense to do so, though, bc there'd still be too much variety within each group.

this was just me trying to relate it to what i personally study but tbh i can see how that would've been confusing, so i apologize for that

#sigh #trans discourse #anti-transmed #transmeds gain scientific literacy challenge

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heidiroizen · 7 years ago

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More rare than a Unicorn – gender parity at a venture-backed, deep-tech startup. Here’s how they did it.

One of my most memorable board meetings this year was with Memphis Meats. I literally had to stop the board meeting over one slide, as I had never seen a slide like this in my 20 years as a VC.

And no, it wasn’t about product development or regulatory strategy or burn rate. It was about the company’s newest hires -- five highly accomplished people, all of whom with advanced degrees and significant past achievements in their careers.

And all five were women.

I stopped the CEO, Uma Valeti, right at that moment, to tell him I had never seen a slide like that. And that in turn surprised him, which probably explains in part why Memphis Meats is such a leader when it comes to diversity.

Memphis Meats is a trailblazing company whose mission is to grow real meat from the cells of high quality livestock in a clean, controlled environment. The result is the meat that consumers already know and love, with significant collateral benefits to the planet, to animals and to human health. I’m proud to say they have applied that same trailblazing attitude to growing their team as well.

At Memphis Meats today, 53% of the team are women, and 40% of the company’s leadership positions are held by women. Beyond gender, the team represents 11 nations and 5 continents (Australians, please apply!) and about two-thirds of the team are omnivores, while one-third are vegetarians or vegans. I’ve met most of the team, and I heard all sorts of educational backgrounds: B.S., M.S., M.D., M.B.A., Ph.D. (lots of those). I met parents, brothers, sisters, immigrants, activists, friends, researchers and operators, and I heard 34 different, mission-aligned reasons for joining the company.

Anybody who is paying attention knows that companies and workplaces around the country are grappling with how to build and maintain diverse and inclusive workforces. Silicon Valley is certainly no different – gender imbalance is a well documented problem in tech. Once I saw that slide, I knew I had to dig deeper into what Memphis Meats was doing right. So, I sat down with Megan Pittman, the Director of People Operations at Memphis Meats, to learn more. Here’s what she had to say.

HR: Before we talk about diversity and inclusion at Memphis Meats, we should probably start by defining what we mean when we say those words. What do they mean to you?

MP: We believe that having a diverse and inclusive team happens when you build a culture that’s genuine, welcoming and protected. We don’t have a document that outlines ��D&I Policies” here. We didn’t start by looking at our team and saying “wow, there’s a problem here that we need to fix.” We started by committing to build an inclusive company made up of extraordinary individuals. We committed to putting people first, before anything else. We also made the decision to build a People Ops function early, when we only had about 10 employees, so that we could really follow through on these commitments.

HR: I see a lot of companies hire their first HR person when they have 50 or 100 staff. 10 is early! What were some of the changes you were able to make by getting started early?

MP: We’ve curated a high touch and authentic hiring process. After we closed our Series A last summer, we got started on a hiring plan to grow from 10 to about 40 people, and we wanted to do it in about a year. We began recruiting and interviewing immediately!

Pretty quickly, we realized that our interview process wasn’t working very well. We were spending a lot of time with candidates who had amazing resumes, but we weren’t developing unanimous conviction around who to hire. We weren’t being blown away. So we stopped interviewing for a bit and started debugging. We realized that our interviews were too formulaic, and too focused on checking boxes on the job description. We were talking to people who had already accomplished amazing things – in industry or academia, or both – and we weren’t letting them tell that story. So we couldn’t assess their accomplishments, their ambitions and their ability to innovate. We could only assess their resume, and maybe their small talk skills.

We decided to rebuild the process to let the candidates shine. Now, we ask all prospective hires to start their interview day by giving a ~30 minute talk to our team, typically focused on their greatest accomplishments or a topic that they know extremely well. The talks are a great way to see a candidate at his or her best. They provide great context for the 1-on-1 interviews later in the day. And our team learns something new every time a candidate comes in. There have been some pretty amazing light bulb moments and inspiring conversations that have originated because of these talks. Our team loves them – they’re always a hot ticket in our office!

HR: How do the talks connect back to diversity and inclusion?

MP: The talks let us have a really relevant, organic conversation and put the candidate’s resume to the side for a moment. After the talk, we can ask the candidate how they could have done that better, or faster, or cheaper. We can hone in on moments where they did something creative, and learn about their thought process or problem solving strategies. We can hone in on roadblocks, and understand how they motivate themselves through the most difficult moments.

We’ve seen plenty of data showing that companies that hire based on resumes and checkboxes end up with homogenous workforces. Don’t get me wrong – great resumes and hard skills are requirements at Memphis Meats, but they’re the price of admission and not the focus of our hiring process. When we go beyond the resume, and let the candidate shine, and expand the hiring criteria to include self-awareness and creativity and tenacity, we see a very diverse group of people rise to the top. And they happen to be the exact people that we need.

Now that we’ve been doing this for a while, we’re also getting better at writing job descriptions. Our hiring managers now ask “what do we need our next person to bring that our team doesn’t already have?” There is a quote by Walter Lippman, an American writer, that speaks to the importance of this. He says, “When all think alike, then no one is thinking.” Our team is sold on the value of new perspectives, and we’re now thinking about it before we even start to meet candidates. It’s a virtuous cycle.

HR: What happens after the hiring process? Great, you’ve found the person – now what?

MP: We’ve put a number of tools in place to ensure that we can close great candidates and get them into their new role here. For example, mobility platforms have enabled us to not be limited to hiring scientists, engineer or operators in the immediate Bay Area. We are able to comfortably source individuals from top companies or labs – whereverthey are. Switzerland? No problem. Canada? Great! Minnesota? Easy. We offer professionally managed relocations so that we can pull talent from a much bigger pool.

We have partnered with a top immigration attorney so that we can support any qualified individual in obtaining employment eligibility. We have worked with hires on multiple visa applications but one sticks out. We interviewed an incredible scientist who is a French citizen. She is so smart, so hard-working, and so talented. For a few reasons, we realized we would only be able to hire her on an O-1 visa, which is reserved for individuals with “extraordinary ability.” The bar is high, and nobody is a sure thing to get this type of visa. We spent months working on the application, and demonstrating her accomplishments as thoroughly and accurately as possible. After more months of waiting, we literally received her visa approval hours before her previous employment eligibility expired. The entire Memphis Meats team celebrated. The room started cheering, we high-fived, we picked up a cake, I probably cried. She has since been named on our most recent patent filing and has contributed in so many measurable and immeasurable ways to our team. She was absolutely the right person to hire and we did everything we could to make it happen.

We diligently pay fair to market wages and make offers that are not based on salary history. We have never requested salary history from our new hires. We prefer to base all offers on the market, our fundraising stage, precedent in the company and level of experience. Period. We take every offer very seriously and will continue to make that commitment to every one of our team members.

We constantly solicit feedback on our processes and look at data. We track the source of our hires: are we relying too much on one company or one local university lab? We track the candidate experience: are candidates feeling respected by us, our process and our timelines? We track our internal rates of diversity. All of this works to discourage complacency in our processes, and ensure that we are constantly aiming to be better.

We took a different approach to benefits compared to many other venture backed companies. We don’t invest our money into dry cleaning and massages and abundant free meals. Instead, we’ve invested in a generous paid family leave policy, and great health care, and a floating holiday policy that allows for religious or cultural differences. People need to be able to live their lives how they choose with a job that supports that without question. We ask a lot of team members so it’s our responsibility to support them in their lifestyle choices.

HR: Many companies start with the best intentions, and compromise those as they grow. How do you imagine Memphis Meats staying the course?

MP: We’ve really made inclusiveness part of our identity. This goes way beyond a D&I policy, which can be easily forgotten or lost in a handbook.

We talk a lot about our “big tent,” which is really a cornerstone of our company. We’re making meat in a better way. You might think we’re out to “disrupt” an incumbent industry or to make consumers feel guilty about what they’re eating today, but the opposite is true. We recognize and respect the role that meat plays in our cultures and traditions. Many members of our team eat meat, and we celebrate that. Many members of our team do not eat meat, and we celebrate that. There’s just no place here for moral judgment.

Over time, that philosophy expanded to cover the companies and organizations we work with, the investors we raised money from, and the language we use. We happily work with large meat companies like Tyson and Cargill. We happily work with mission-driven organizations that work for animal welfare or environmental stewardship. We happily talk to consumers of all stripes. We’ve built a coalition that we never would have expected. We’ve found that everyone we talk to unites behind our goal of feeding a growing and hungry planet. Our internal culture and our people processes are consistent with the idea of the “big tent,” so I don’t think they’re going anywhere.

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raychesshittyart · 4 years ago

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Artist Podcast:

Our group did Wolfgang Tillman. Here's some noted I jotted down, plus some images I've found of his that are pretty cool.

-Art doesn't just have to be on the wall, but in the form of a book

-Queer identity as straight people too.

-one of the world's (if not the world's) most important photographer

-Black and white Laser picture which changed photocopies (rusta image dots) fine, half tone pictures.

-Fortunate to not be spotted as an artist. Was a scientist acting as an artist, persuing, testing different media. Was greatful that he was left alone because he wasn't formed around one talent at such a young age.

-Reitributing value, without predetermined value in solar eclipse, pair of jeans thrown on the floor. Giving the freedom of looking and connecting to these images. (Commented that they feel charged sexually (the jeans/clothes series)) grey jeans hungover banister, realised its a sculptural 3-dimentional moment. Attracted to that image that was shaped, a sensuality that surfaced.

-Clothes interested him, because our bodies prints themselves into those clothes.

-allows imagination to place yourself into works

-capturing nostalgia

-there's a sense of intimacy for anyone, queer, straight, male, female and every other self-identities.

-Clothes series, is very paintily looking, which is a similar description of most of his work. I really like that he's found a way to make the clothes look fluid.

Here are the found images of his work that I really liked;

Grey Jeans over stair post 1991

Stripped 2003

Unfortunately when the group was supposed to come together to discuss the notes we've taken, three of our members didn't show/didn't know that it was happening. So it ended up just being Anna and myself. Here's what I've jotted down that she's talked about:

Amazing that he was able to capture first kiss between people, as something like that is never captured

Thinking of new ways to create art in non traditional form, writes music art as a form of art. Anna didn't see music

Left the bottom part of image rolled up - interesting. More sculpture like

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msclaritea · 8 years ago

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~Napoleon, Nietzsche & TFP~

A Study In Holmesian Iconoclasm: Masks & Images P.2

This is the final part of a series that looked into the canon story The Six Napoleons, resulting in mary-resurrects-lucretia & sherlock-on-the-ocean-when-neitzsche-wept. In the story, someone is running around, smashing Napoleon busts. Strange enough, but even more so when you find out that this has all happened before. Arthur Conan Doyle was masterful, it seems, at embedding real-life people and true tales of History in the Holmes stories. Iconoclasm is the social belief in the importance of the destruction of usually religious icons and other images or monuments, most frequently for religious or political reasons…In Political and revolutionary iconoclasm, revolutions, and changes of regime, whether through uprising of the local population, foreign invasion, or a combination of both, are often accompanied by the public destruction of statues and monuments identified with the previous regime.

During the French Revolution, the statue of Napoleon on the column at Place Vendôme, Paris was the target of iconoclasm several times: destroyed after the Bourbon Restoration, and during the Paris Commune.

Napoleon loomed large as a political figure in the 19th century. The artists of subsequent periods were a mix of elevating his image…or smashing it. Napoleonic Iconoclasm is an actual known trope, as he evolved into a mythical figure during the Romantic Period.

“Such a fact must tell against the theory that the man who breaks them is influenced by any general hatred of Napoleon. Considering how many hundreds of statues of the great Emperor must exist in London, it is too much to suppose such a coincidence as that a promiscuous iconoclast should chance to begin upon three specimens of the same bust.“

The Adventure of The Six Napoleons touches on true political history, and the image of Napoleon intertwines with the enduring quality of Holmes. Moriarty was not called ‘The Napoleon of Crime’, for nothing. He was created as a nemesis to Holmes; his mirror image, for his eventual death. But whereas Moriarty died, Sherlock Holmes, like Napoleon, was ‘banished’, only to return, and be celebrated, while once again, taking control of ACD’s career.

“Privately, he has become something of a villain, over time, tyrannically taking control of Doyle’s writing, and his endlessly-replicated heroic figure invited smashing.” This quote, from The Secret Marriage of Sherlock Holmes: "Shattering the pedestrian image of reason is Holmes’s great iconoclastic gift.“ "His reasoning is obsessive, impulsive, unpredictable, astonishing.” Holmes displays much enthusiasm and dramatic flair in The Six Thatchers, and “When the blow of the riding crop shatters the image so long sought, and reveals the pearl inside, all subsequent explanations seem a footnote. That blow is this story’s symbolic representation of reason’s power, and that single gesture sums up the transvaluation (re-evaluating of the values) of reason’s image that Sherlock Holmes has wrought.“ It’s part of my theory that BBC Sherlock is engaging Holmesian Iconoclasm; in a literary sense, breaking the man down to his most basic parts, taking him into dark places in an experiment of re-integration, using the teachings of Nietzsche in Season 4, as a way of aligning his moral code for the world we live in now. What ARE the sum of his parts?

The Question: Sherlock and Theseus’s Paradox by Dennis O’ Neil

"An Ancient Greek named Theseus…builds a ship. Over time the ship needs repairs and pieces of it have to be replaced and finally everything has been replaced. Not a single splinter of the original craft remains. Which brings us to what is known in some circles as Theseus’s Paradox. We ask: Is the ship our man Theseus ends with the same one that he built years earlier?”

In The Beginning: Birth & The Bi-Part Soul

Below is an excerpt from a thesis The Influence of Duality and Poe’s Notion of the Bi-Part Soul’ on the Genesis of Detective Fiction in the Nineteenth-Century by Stephanie Craighill. It is a lengthy, beautiful piece on the genesis of the creation of what we refer to as the Mirrors. Like Nietzsche, Poe and Doyle held strong belief in Duality/Dualism/Balance, and used that belief, NOT just when structuring characters, but the stories themselves.

"Observing him in these moods, I often dwelt meditatively upon the old philosophy of the Bi-Part Soul and amused myself with the fancy of a double Dupin; the creative and the resolvent." Poe‘s explicit reference to the double‘ directly intertwines with the theme of duality which resonates throughout the Gothic novel and the Romantic Movement in nineteenth century fiction; this paradigm is evident in texts such as Johann Wolfgang von Goethe‘s Faust, Mary Shelley‘s Frankenstein…This motif has been extensively examined by scholars and has been defined using numerous but vague classifications which include the fictional double‘, the evil twin‘, the alter ego‘, the antithetical self‘, the fragmentation of self into dual‘ and the twin soul‘. Dupin reproaches the Prefect of the Parisian police for being too cunning to be profound‘,

(which mirrors the game of chess where what is complex is mistaken for what is profound‘. The detective, also, rebukes the Prefect‘s wisdom‘ for being all head and no body‘ which relates to the detective‘s earlier supposition that the ingenious are always fanciful, and the truly imaginative never otherwise than analytic‘ The Prefect‘s reasoning is too fanciful‘ to be successful. It is through the combined use of both aspects of the Bi Part Soul‘, the head‘ and the body‘ and their associated faculties of the imagination and reason, that the detective was able to outwit his opponent.)

Duality is implicit in the structure and characterization of The Murders in the Rue Morgue‘. It is visible in the tale‘s twin plot, the divided self which is the narrator and Dupin, the doubling of the criminals, victims and detective and most prominently the detective‘s creative and resolvent‘ Bi-Part Soul‘. Dupin‘s dual psychology is associated with moral ambiguity and a blurring of boundaries which, consequently, has shaped a compelling psychosomatic template for a genre of multifaceted and complex detective protagonists. Holmes‘ inherent dualism is summarised by Iain Sinclair and Ed Glinert who state that: Holmes is the classically divided man that the age required: alchemist and rigorous experimenter, furious walker and definitive slacker, athlete and dope fiend. He could, as the mood took him, be Trappist or motor mouth … Holmes is forever lurching between incompatible polarities. From the beginning Holmes was a double figure, first in himself as the mixture of scientist and poet and even more significantly in the double figure of Sherlock Holmes Doctor Watson‘. Conan Doyle‘s implicit doubling of Poe‘s detective trilogy extends further; like Dupin who doubles the criminals in The Murders in the Rue Morgue‘ and the thief Minister D. in The Purloined Letter‘, Holmes represents a doppelgänger for his arch nemesis, the criminal mastermind Professor Moriarty. Moriarty only directly appears in two of the sixty Holmes accounts; in the short story The Final Problem‘ and the novella The Valley of Fear, though he is mentioned in a selection of the other narratives. In these two accounts we learn that Moriarty shares a number of common characteristics with Holmes. He is of similar physical appearance, has a phenomenal mathematical faculty‘, is a genius, a philosopher, an abstract thinker‘ and a scientific criminal‘ Moriarty conforms to the same Bi-Part‘ mould as the detectives Holmes and Dupin; he is both reasoned and artistic. In The Final Problem‘ Holmes refers to Moriarty as the organiser of half that is evil. Moriarty could characterize an inversion of the values embodied by Holmes‘ and, as a result, the criminal represents the detective‘s doppelgänger who is equipped with an identical skill set but motivated by an evil purpose."

Context: Paralleling the Works of Nietzsche and Sherlock

Out of the night that covers me, Black as the pit from pole to pole, I thank whatever gods may be For my unconquerable soul.

Thus Spake Zarathustra: Sherlock On The Ocean:

"The above piece was written in 1875 by William Ernest Henley. Perhaps most famous is Henley’s closing statement: “I am the master of my fate:/I am the captain of my soul.” The poem is a declaration of the triumph of the human spirit - the refusal to bend to a universe Henley called “a place of wrath and tears. Holmes was an unprecedented sort of hero. Emerging from a culture enthralled by scientific progress, he was a superhero who relied almost entirely on his powers of deduction…Holmes was and is the sensationalized personification of Henley’s captain of the soul. His powers of deduction are presented as the triumph of reason, a triumph open to all of humanity if we’d only try a little harder. In this way, Sherlock Holmes is Nietzsche’s “superman” (a term coined in Thus Spake Zarathustra, written a few years before A Study in Scarlet). He is the moral, observational and logical evolution of mankind.

The Übermensch is Nietzsche’s concept of the ideal, and it can translate to overman, superman, above human, and probably some other things. The Übermensch doesn’t have incredible physical abilities. Instead, his power is mental and spiritual. The greatest power in the world, according to Nietzsche, is freedom, and I’m about to make a huge and tragic over-simplification of Nietzsche’s theory as to what that means. It is that complete human freedom is achieved by radically breaking with all forms of guilt, shame, and external authority. It combines many qualities of a completely naïve and fearless toddler with those of an experienced and wise elder."

Sherlock: Isn't that...one of those Law things?

"In the first or second episode a minor character calls him a sociopath, and the show really delves into the question of what actually makes Holmes and Moriarty (a really evil criminal who is as good at crime as Holmes is at solving crimes) different from each other aside from pure occupational interests. The sociopath comment was my first clue. Critics of Nietzsche’s philosophy have always contended that his Übermensch would really be a sociopath who just looks out for number one. What is useful in making the connection between Sherlock Holmes and Nietzsche’s work is that I think the Holmes series provides a picture into how the Übermensch doesn’t necessarily play out as a sociopath.“

"He can’t stand the boredom of the day to day, the absurd. And it is just like any good German existentialist to value present experience over the longevity of life. Furthermore, he is completely open about his habit with Dr. Watson, who is initially very concerned. His openness about it shows that Holmes gives no credibility to prescriptions other than his own as to what constitutes a good life.

His passion happens to be for forensic science, or the “science of deduction,” as Holmes calls it. The key, though, is that he throws everything he has got into what he truly cares about, leaving no room for time wasters like social obligations, civic engagement, parties, etc. Dr. Watson even finds that Holmes isn’t aware that the Earth revolves around the sun, since it has no use for his forensic studies.”

“There is an old illusion—it is called good and evil. Around soothsayers and astrologers hath hitherto revolved the orbit of this illusion.

Once did one believe in soothsayers and astrologers; and therefore did one believe, "Everything is fate: thou shalt, for thou must!”

Then again did one distrust all soothsayers and astrologers; and therefore did one believe, “Everything is freedom: thou canst, for thou willest!”

O my brethren, concerning the stars and the future there hath hitherto been only illusion, and not knowledge; and therefore concerning good and evil there hath hitherto been only illusion and not knowledge!" Thus Spake Zarathustra

”On Nietzsche: While most of his contemporaries looked on the late nineteenth century with unbridled optimism, confident in the progress of science and the rise of the German state, Nietzsche saw his age facing a fundamental crisis in values. With the rise of science, the Christian worldview no longer held a prominent explanatory role in people’s lives, a view Nietzsche captures in the phrase “God is dead.” However, science does not introduce a new set of values to replace the Christian values it displaces. Nietzsche rightly foresaw that people need to identify some source of meaning and value in their lives, and if they could not find it in science, they would turn to aggressive nationalism and other such salves. The last thing Nietzsche would have wanted was a return to traditional Christianity, however. Instead, he sought to find a way out of nihilism through the creative and willful affirmation of life.“

The Gay Science: Nietzsche’s first consideration of the idea of the eternal recurrence

“What if some day or night a demon were to steal after you into your loneliest loneliness and say to you: ‘This life as you now live it and have lived it, you will have to live once more and innumerable times more’ […] Would you not throw yourself down and gnash your teeth and curse the demon who spoke thus? Or have you once experienced a tremendous moment when you would have answered him: 'You are a god and never have I heard anything more divine.”

This was one of the themes of Shakespeare’s No Fear Sonnets 1-60, some of which have been found embedded and acted out in the show. 59 is heavy with this theme and found in The Six Thatchers. “Not only does Nietzsche posit that the universe is recurring over infinite time and space, but that the different versions of events that have occurred in the past may at one point or another take place again, hence "all configurations that have previously existed on this earth must yet meet…” And with each version of events is hoping that some knowledge or awareness is gained to better the individual, hence “And thus it will happen one day that a man will be born again, just like me and a woman will be born, just like Mary—only that it is hoped to be that the head of this man may contain a little less foolishness…”

The Antichrist, originally published in 1895

MARY: Hm. Now you’d think we’d have noticed, when she was born. JOHN: Hm? Noticed what? MARY: The little 666 on her forehead. JOHN: Hmhmhm, that’s The Omen. MARY: (lifts her head to look at him with a frown, stays like that though John’s entire answer) So? JOHN: Well, you said it was like The Exorcist. They’re two different things. You can’t be the Devil and the Antichrist.

“Nietzsche writes scathingly about Christianity, arguing that it is fundamentally opposed to life. In Christian morality, Nietzsche sees an attempt to deny all those characteristics that he associates with healthy life. The concept of sin makes us ashamed of our instincts and our sexuality, the concept of faith discourages our curiosity and natural skepticism, and the concept of pity encourages us to value and cherish weakness. Furthermore, Christian morality is based on the promise of an afterlife, leading Christians to devalue this life in favor of the beyond. Nietzsche argues that Christianity springs from resentment for life and those who enjoy it, and it seeks to overthrow health and strength with its life-denying ethic. As such, Nietzsche considers Christianity to be the hated enemy...Christianity is called the religion of pity. Pity stands opposed to the tonic emotions which heighten our vitality: it has a depressing effect. We are deprived of strength when we feel pity. That loss of strength which suffering as such inflicts on life is still further increased and multiplied by pity. Pity makes suffering contagious."

Sherlock: This hospital is full of people dying, doctor, why don’t you go and cry by their bedsides, see what good it does.

Nietzsche claimed that the Christian religion and its morality are based on imaginary fictions. Concept of morality is falsified. Morality is no longer an expression of life and growth. Instead, morality opposes life by presenting well–being as a dangerous temptation. Priestly agitators “… interpret all good fortune as a reward, all misfortune as punishment for disobedience of God, for 'sin,’…The sacred book formulates the will of God and specifies what is to be given to the priests. Priests become parasites.”…All things of life are so ordered that the priest is everywhere indispensable; at all the natural events of life, at birth, marriage, sickness, death. Not to speak of 'sacrifice’ (meal–times)…Natural values become utterly valueless. The priest sanctifies and bestows all value. Disobedience of God (the priest) is 'sin.’ Subjection to God (the priest) is redemption. Priests use 'sin’ to gain and hold power.

Sherlock: …And contrast is, after all, God’s own plan to enhance the beauty of his creation. Or it would be if God were not a ludicrous fantasy designed to provide a career opportunity for the family idiot.

*Interesting footnote about the first part of this statement. Goethe, from whom Nietzche gets the word Ubermensch, apparently actually invented the Color Wheel. THIS video shows how he used light, shadow and a color to enhance the beauty of another.

“The Truth’s Boring!”

“Nietzsche is critical of the very idea of objective truth. That we should think there is only one right way of considering a matter is only evidence that we have become inflexible in our thinking. Such intellectual inflexibility is a symptom of saying “no” to life, a condition that Nietzsche abhors. A healthy mind is flexible and recognizes that there are many different ways of considering a matter. There is no single truth but rather many.”

“Because You’re an Idiot”

"Nietzsche thought that the word idiot best described Jesus. According to Walter Kaufmann, he might have been referring to the naïve protagonist of Dostoyevsky’s book The Idiot. “The fable of Christ as miracle–worker and redeemer is not the origin of Christianity..Jesus did not want to redeem anyone. He wanted to show how to live. His legacy was his bearing and behavior. He did not resist evildoers. He loved evildoers. Nietzsche claimed that the Christian faith as practised was not a proper representation of Jesus’ teachings, as it forced people merely to believe in the way of Jesus but not to act as Jesus did, in particular his example of refusing to judge people, something that Christians had constantly done the opposite of."

Human, All Too Human: On Becoming

JOHN: Don’t pretend you’re not enjoying this. SHERLOCK (not looking round): Hmm? JOHN: Being back. Being a hero again. SHERLOCK: Oh, don’t be stupid. JOHN: You’d have to be an idiot not to see it. You love it. SHERLOCK (turning to face him): Love what? JOHN: Being Sherlock Holmes. SHERLOCK: I don’t even know what that’s supposed to mean.

"Nietzsche wrote that Heraclitus "will remain eternally right with his assertion that being is an empty fiction”. Nietzsche developed the vision of a chaotic world in perpetual change and becoming. The state of becoming does not produce fixed entities, such as being, subject, object, substance, thing. Ephesus, who in the sixth century BC, said that nothing in this world is constant except change and becoming." Sherlock, at this point, is still in a state of becoming.

"Reptile!"

"But wherever ye would ascend with me, O my brethren, take care lest a parasite ascend with you! A parasite: that is a reptile, a creeping, cringing reptile, that trieth to fatten on your infirm and sore places. And this is its art: it divineth where ascending souls are weary, in your trouble and dejection, in your sensitive modesty, doth it build its loathsome nest.”

“Enemy” shall ye say but not “villain,” “invalid” shall ye say but not “wretch,” “fool” shall ye say but not “sinner.”

And thou, red judge, if thou would say audibly all thou hast done in thought, then would every one cry: “Away with the nastiness and the virulent reptile!” Thus Spake Zarathustra

Why All The Pain? The Birth of Tragedy

“Artistic creation depends on a tension between two opposing forces, which Nietzsche terms the “Apollonian” and the “Dionysian.”

"Apollo was the god of light, reason, harmony, balance and prophesy, while Dionysus was the god of wine, revelry, ecstatic emotion and tragedy.

Nietzsche uses this duality for discussing the artistic process which relate to either Apollo or Dionysus. Apollo and Dionysus symbols of this duality which he further distinguishes with the terms of “dreams” and “drunkenness.” For Nietzsche, dreams represent the realm of beautiful forms and symbols, an orderly place of light and reason. Drunkenness, on the other hand, is that state of wild passions where the boundaries between "self" and "other" dissolve. (This may strike as odd, but Nietzsche seems to make the assumption that, when dreaming, one is aware of the fact that one is dreaming and so still able to separate appearance from reality. I believe that he would claim those who are entirely caught up in their dreams are experiencing Dionysian ecstasy, not Apollonian beauty.)"

Meet Nihilism

”The nihilist believes in nothing, has no loyalties and has no purpose in life. Some are left with only an impulse to destroy.“

EURUS: Am I being punished? MAN (offscreen, faintly): You’ve been bad. EURUS (almost sing-song): There’s no such thing as ‘bad.’ MAN (offscreen): What about good? EURUS: Good and bad are fairytales. We have evolved to attach an emotional significance to what is nothing more than the survival strategy of the pack animal. We are conditioned to invest divinity in utility. Good isn’t really good, evil isn’t really wrong, and bottoms aren’t really pretty. You are a prisoner of your own meat. MAN (offscreen): Why aren’t you? EURUS (raising her head and looking directly into the camera as she speaks the words slowly and clearly): I’m too clever.

"Moral nihilism, also known as ethical nihilism, is the meta-ethical view that morality does not exist as something inherent to objective reality; therefore no action is necessarily preferable to any other. For example, a moral nihilist would say that killing someone, for whatever reason, is not inherently right or wrong. Nietzsche characterized nihilism as emptying the world and especially human existence of meaning, purpose, comprehensible truth, or essential value."

Eurus is most definitely a Sherlock mirror; a Bi-Part Soul. She doesn’t even know 'if something’s beautiful or not; only right’. Eurus is pure Nihilism. A Brain without a heart; an actual calculating machine, attempting to show that making a supposed 'morally-right decision can actually create the opposite result, so that moral codes don’t matter. She used tests, like sherlocks-paradox, tests he has been put through before. As we witness, Sherlock succeeds.

This is still the same journey many have pointed out, just using the Nietzschean Method to do so. Growing from a great man…a Superman into a good one; flawed and very much human, with a Moral Code to match.

"Friedrich Nietzsche believed that the corrosive effects of nihilism would end up destroying all moral constructs, religions, and metaphysical convictions...that nihilism would be the most corrosive force in history.”

Fun Note: On Mustaches & Military Kinks

“Nietzsche lived with the mustache most of his adult life, and it represented for him the military life. He served briefly in the military, and always held certain admiration for military discipline. In him we get a sense that the military attitude is very important towards living a proper, fulfilling life. If you ask most people what does Nietzsche look like, what they will immediately say is: ‘oh that’s the guy with the huge mustache’. And if you ask: ‘well, what about the eyes? the nose? what about the chin? what about the hair?’ They will probably draw a blank. And Nietzsche himself points out that when you see someone with a big handsome mustache, what they see is: the mustache. It is a mask, it allowed Nietzsche in effect to hide.”

To conclude, through the eyes of Nietzsche, the show is smashing the previous images of Sherlock Holmes, using the Philosopher’s works, in addition to Freud and Josef Breuer, to take him through a journey of self-discovery, and yes, love. Given the strong hints to a troubled childhood and suppression of feelings, the philosophies of these men, together, are employed, just as presented in When Nietzsche Wept. This meta cannot even begin to cover the full scope of Nietzshe’s works or his strong influence on the blueprint of Sherlock Holmes. His presence is found throughout canon; sometimes, in the form of other characters. I will say that Nietzche’s ideas are many, profound and important. Considering his influence on Arthur Conan Doyle, and Sherlock Holmes, who has in turn, been so important to 21st century, in many fields, Friedrich Nietzsche should always be held in high regard. Not bad for a guy who in the good old days would have been labelled a Heretic, and burned at the stake. So maybe he’s right; we can be better.

“I know my fate. One day my name will be associated with the memory of something tremendous — a crisis without equal on earth, the most profound collision of conscience, a decision that was conjured up against everything that had been believed, demanded, hallowed so far. I am no man, I am dynamite. Ecco Homo

(Don’t you just love some of his book titles?)

Read also the-reptile-in-221b & sherlock-denying-the-devil

@brilliantorinsane @simpleanddestructivechemistry @shylockgnomes @possiblyimbiassed @raggedyblue @rinkagaminesstuff @artfulkindoforder @radogost @asherlockstudy @fellshish @multivariate-madness @madzither @yorkiepug @loveismyrevolution @consultingidiots @tjlcisthenewsexy

Full text of Thus Spake Zarathustra

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#Napoleon Nietzsche & TFP Meta #Threads #1895 #The Ubermensche #Josef Breuer #Freud #Nietzsche/Sherlock Parallels #Holmesian Iconoclasm #I'm Done!

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sciencespies · 5 years ago

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How the Belief in American Exceptionalism Has Shaped the Pandemic Response

https://sciencespies.com/history/how-the-belief-in-american-exceptionalism-has-shaped-the-pandemic-response/

How the Belief in American Exceptionalism Has Shaped the Pandemic Response

The spread of the coronavirus in the U.S. is out of control: As of December 1, more than 13.5 million people have been infected nationwide and some 269,000 people have died. Yet many in the U.S. still resist wearing masks in public and even deem mask orders and social distancing guidelines as affronts to their personal freedoms.

For political scientists like Deborah Schildkraut of Tufts University in Medford, Massachusetts, the U.S. response to the pandemic can be seen through the lens of American identity. For more than two decades, Schildkraut has been studying what it means to be American, a topic she explored in an article in the Annual Review of Political Science. In it, she wrote that scholars increasingly regard American identity as a social identity, “which refers to the part of a person’s sense of self that derives from his or her membership in a particular group and the value or meaning that he or she attaches to such membership.”

According to Schildkraut, at a minimum American identity consists of two sets of norms. One involves an evolving set of beliefs that anyone can follow. These beliefs harken back to Thomas Jefferson and the ideals set forth in the Declaration of Independence (“We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.”) The other set of norms depends on attributes such as one’s race and religion.

Knowable Magazine spoke with Schildkraut about the sometimes contradictory attributes Americans consider to be at the core of their national identity, the evolution of these ideas and the impact they have on the country’s ability to confront the pandemic. This conversation has been edited for length and clarity.

Why is one’s identity so important?

Social psychologists have written about the need to have positive distinctiveness. We like to feel good about the things that we think are unique about us. That drives a lot of in-group and out-group thinking. We like to think good things about the groups that we belong to. It doesn’t always lead to thinking bad things about the groups that we don’t belong to, but it easily can.

What’s an American identity, and has it evolved over time?

Some parts of it haven’t evolved all that much. A lot of the things people think of as being uniquely American are appropriately called aspirational: the idea of individualism, equality of opportunity, self-governance and engaged citizenship. For as long as we’ve been asking people how important certain things are in being American, there’s not been much variation over time in those kinds of things.

You see more change over time on issues that are more explicitly about race and ethnicity. There’s this idea of being a nation of immigrants. It’s the American creed: the idea that anybody can become American if they do and believe certain things, and that your country of origin, the language you speak, your religion, all of that is separate from becoming American. It’s crucially tied to the notion of the work ethic and that the opportunities are here for the taking. Of course, we know in practice that hasn’t been true.

The aspiration is that race and religion don’t matter. And that anybody can be a true American. We know that in reality, certainly at an unstated level, when people think of what an American is many have an ideal in mind: It’s white, Christian and, honestly, male.

The U.S. is an extremely diverse country. How do different groups of people react to these aspirational ideals of individualism, equality of opportunity, self-governance and engaged citizenship?

We have done surveys in which we ask people what they think are the important things in making someone a true American. One of the big stories across all the years that we’ve been asking this is that a lot of the variation we see comes down more to party and ideology than it does really to race. There’s actually a lot of agreement on the things that are considered to be most essential such as respecting America’s political institutions and laws and believing in individualism. There’s also considerable agreement on things that are considered less essential, such as the language one speaks, or whether someone was born in the U.S. or has European ancestry.

What does individualism mean in this context?

Individualism is tied to the notion of minimal government intervention. So that people are free to pursue what they want, with rare exceptions where it may be necessary for the government to intervene so that they don’t inflict harm on others.

Does American individualism conflict with other values?

Most Americans believe in and want certain values to be prevalent in their lives and they want the government to support them. Some of these key values are freedom, equality and order. Those don’t always go together. And when they conflict—and politics can be thought of as a conflict between these values—the government has to pick one.

What’s the effect of these conflicts on the U.S. response to the pandemic?

You see the conflicts between freedom and order and freedom and equality playing out now, in how we’re responding to the coronavirus pandemic. People want freedom to be able to go where they want, to not wear a mask if they don’t want to, and that conflicts with the government imposing some kind of order to address the pandemic. We also know that this pandemic has exposed great inequalities and that in places where they are choosing freedom they are not addressing those inequalities, and maybe making them even worse. Other democracies might be more likely to pick equality over freedom when those two conflict; in the U.S., we tend to pick freedom, although there are certainly exceptions.

In any society, there’s always going to be some degree of autonomy that people have to give up in order for society to function, for us to live as a collective. What type of autonomy are you willing to give up? When are you willing to give it up? In the U.S., nobody bats an eye at the idea that we all have to stop at red lights on the road, even though that’s an infringement on our freedoms. But any time it’s something new that we’re not already used to, there will be resistance to it.

There’s also a deep distrust among Americans towards government, and they often do not believe that government will execute programs efficiently or use its resources responsibly. Compared with other countries, we also have the complexity of federalism where we value devolving power to the states in some areas, but not others. And people like to celebrate their state identities. Part of our national character is the immense variation across the states, and all that feeds into our response to the pandemic.

Have other countries demonstrated a tendency to put equality before freedom and does that influence the policies they pursue?

Countries that have multiparty systems, where there might be a stronger Labor Party, or a Democratic Socialist Party, where you have a stronger history of a welfare state, places that have national health care systems, for example—those are all evidences of greater government intervention and less reliance on people going it alone and figuring it out for themselves. In those countries, there’s an acceptance that government intervention is something of value so that there’s some equity and equality, and that the government is going to play a bigger role to ensure some minimum quality of life.

How else can one understand the U.S. response to the pandemic, seen from the perspective of American identity?

I don’t pretend to have the answers. There’s one thing that has long been puzzling to me: President Trump’s insistence that this is not a big deal. At least initially, where there were lockdowns, there was this real sense of national purpose and community. People were applauding health care workers in the streets and putting up teddy bears in their windows for kids to go on scavenger hunts in their neighborhoods. There was this sense of solidarity that didn’t really last very long.

We know from a lot of political science research that elite rhetoric (meaning messages coming from prominent elected officials) can be really powerful. Once a politician decides to take a certain line—that this is not a big deal, places should be able to do what they want, we should prioritize freedom and so on—it’s not that surprising that many Americans would follow suit and prioritize that interpretation of American identity as well.

Can that messaging be changed?

There’s a lot of potential for leadership here to frame this in terms of national sacrifice: that this is who we are as Americans and we can find ways to come together to solve this.

Joe Biden is now President-elect. Do you foresee a sea change in how the U.S. will respond to this pandemic, because of the messaging that might come from his administration?

I would hope so. But I’m not particularly optimistic, because while Trump has clearly been the leader of his party and the leader of the country during this time, he could really only have been successful with the support of the Republican Party. And all of those other politicians who either repeated what he said or didn’t contradict it are still going to be there.

One thing Trump certainly demonstrated is that you can do a lot with the executive powers of the presidency. And so even if Biden doesn’t get a lot of cooperation from Congress, there are lots of things he can do on his own with the executive branch. In terms of this idea that we are facing this national crisis, wouldn’t it be great if there was a sense of common purpose and common identity? We know that elite messaging can matter. And hopefully, there are enough people who are either already predisposed to support Biden’s messaging or just fed up with politics and conflict, that it would make them receptive to that kind of messaging.

A cynic would say that politicians are manufacturing identities and then manipulating them. Is that possible?

Oh, it’s definitely possible. It may be a strategy that’s helpful for winning in the short term, but isn’t necessarily in a political party’s long-term interest. We think of this a lot with the contemporary Republican Party. They may be trying to increase the salience of a white identity, for example. In the short term, this may be a winning strategy in enough places for the Republican Party, but it’s not going to be a long-term strategy as the population continues to change.

Is that because the notion of what it means to be American is somehow changing because of increasing diversity and immigration?

That’s right. The younger generation today, which will be the dominant makeup of voters in the not too distant future, is much more diverse. Whether they are going to find a campaign that capitalizes on white racial anxiety attractive or not remains to be seen, but it’s going to be harder than it is now.

What have the last nine months been like for you, personally and professionally?

A group of us political scientists joke—a kind of gallows humor—that some of these really bad things that are happening are great for political science. People who study anxiety and people who study anger and its political effects are getting great data. The problem is, none of us have time to actually do the research, because we’re all home with our kids. And that’s a concern, because political scientists can contribute to our understanding of a lot of big problems.

This article is part of Reset: The Science of Crisis & Recovery, an ongoing series exploring how the world is navigating the coronavirus pandemic, its consequences and the way forward. Reset is supported by a grant from the Alfred P. Sloan Foundation.

This article originally appeared in Knowable Magazine, an independent journalistic endeavor from Annual Reviews. Sign up for the newsletter.

#History

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revlyncox · 7 years ago

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Grace

This sermon was adapted for the Unitarian Church of Harrisburg, January 28, 2017.

This past week, I was at the Unitarian Universalist Ministers Association Institute for Excellence in Ministry. The planning committee went out of their way to welcome parents of young children to the conference, so our daily worship services included some of the same delightful sounds of life that I so treasure about congregational worship. There were always four or five babies being bounced in carriers or crawling up the aisles to get a better view of the choir. I was reminded of the days when my own kids were still in their cribs.

When our (now seven-and-a-half-year-old) twins were newborns, people used to tell us, “Sleep when the baby sleeps,” which would have been good advice if they slept at the same time. At around six months old, we decided that they and we were ready for sleep training. That means we practiced putting the babies down in their cribs, telling them good night, and leaving the room.

I’m sure you can imagine how popular this was with the babies at first. The first night, we went through cycles of crying, reassurance, and calming for an hour and a half. After that, both babies stayed asleep for about ten hours. The next night they settled down somewhat more quickly. The third night involved only half an hour of objections. It wasn’t long before we all got used to the routine and neither the babies nor the adults did much crying at bedtime.

Once they were asleep, we had blessed peace. We knew they were getting what their bodies needed. The adults could sleep. Or get some work done. Or try to get some work done and accidentally sleep. It felt like heavenly serenity, achieved with some struggle. In the morning, the twins didn’t appear to resent or even remember the betrayal of the night before. They were glad to see us.

Starting over, well resourced, residing in the present moment with joy rather than dwelling on negative things from the past; this is an experience of grace. Like the sleep of medium-sized babies, the experience of grace is itself one of ease, yet we may struggle a bit with the disciplines that help open up our perception of grace. To me, grace is a force of the universe that is always there, an assurance of the acceptance of the Source of Love, a resource for reconciliation, and a model of how we can live in connection with one another. Grace is the truth that sets us free and the re-alignment of right relationship. To open ourselves up to its power, we practice forgiveness, self-compassion, and covenant.

Forgiving Others

Forgiveness is one path to perceiving grace. We’re winding up a month with the theme of forgiveness, so I just have a bit more to say before we move on. Forgiveness is about retaining the memory without continuing to feed the feelings of anger and disappointment. Forgiveness can lead to making amends, reconciliation, and a stronger relationship, especially when more than one person is engaged in the process. Occasionally, forgiveness means letting something be in the past and finding a way to love someone from afar, because the hurt is too deep and the harmful behavior is too persistent for closeness. For everyday injuries, may we practice forgiveness in ways that are healthy for ourselves and life-affirming for all.

Our story earlier, “Mussa and Nagib,” is an allegory that illustrates this. The story was written by Julio Cesar de Mello e Souza, an early twentieth century fiction writer and mathematician from Brazil, writing under the pen name Malba Tahan. He set the tale in a place far away from his personal experience to give it a legendary quality.

In the story, hurt was written in sand, but selflessness was chiseled in rock. Writing in sand doesn’t take much time. It’s OK to remember mistakes and learn from them, but don’t dwell on judgments. On the other hand, engraving kindness in stone takes some focus. Writing thank-you notes or recording the act of kindness in a journal can help us hold on to those feelings of connection and gratitude.

Sometimes resentments are attempts to prevent being hurt in the same way twice. But grudges do not necessarily offer protection, and they have their own drawbacks. Addressing the incident directly—saying what happened, how you feel, and what requests (if any) you would like to make to the other person—is one way to reduce the risk of being hurt again.

In a sense, Mussa’s act of writing in the sand where his friend Nagib could see it was a form of direct address. He called attention to the hurt, the incident itself, without any theories about what it meant or labels for his friend’s character. It is so easy to jump from “ouch” to “you don’t care about me” or “you are a bad person” in a moment of anger. Reflect on facts first. Notice your feelings. Figure out what you really need. Then decide how to respond.

Direct address is not a guarantee, but I think the benefits outweigh the risks. Carving a negative experience in stone takes a lot of time and effort, and then you have this heavy rock you have to carry around. It may be that some distance is necessary for physical safety. Honor your own well-being and boundaries, yet also account for what is lost when a grudge takes the lead.

When an event is far in the past, you can hold on to the wisdom you gained from that experience and the memory of the strengths you showed in navigating through it without pacing continuous circles of resentment and judgment. Whether something is drawn in the sand or engraved in the stone depends on how much time and energy you devote to committing the facts, feelings, and inferences to memory. Choose consciously. Forgive when you can.

Self-Compassion

For some of us, forgiving others is easier than forgiving ourselves. A proportional, productive response to our own mistakes doesn’t necessarily come naturally. Perhaps we have too much information from inside our own heads, too intimate a knowledge of the guffs and muffs that other people didn’t necessarily notice. Another challenge is that, unlike conflicts with other people, we don’t have as many options for putting temporary distance between ourselves and ourselves while we reflect on what we need. Of the options we do have, few of them are healthy for very long. Self-compassion helps us to continue to do the work of reflection in moments when we doubt ourselves, or when other people doubt us. Self-compassion reminds us that we have value, no matter what setbacks occur.

When we are born, we are dropped into the middle of a complex and beautiful creative process. Real life assumes trial and error. Scientists know this. Making hypotheses—educated guesses—and discovering that they are actually wrong is part of the scientific process. One of the challenges is to avoid thinking that our worth as a person depends on being right or perfect. The universe needs more from us than perfection. The universe needs us to move and interact and grow.

For instance, astronomers and physicists had to come around to the understanding that they were wrong about the composition of the stars thanks to the work of Cecilia Payne, who was known later in life as Cecilia Payne-Gaposchkin.

Cecilia Payne was born in Wendover, England, in 1900. (She was a Unitarian and belonged to First Parish Lexington, MA, as an adult, but that’s not important for this story.) Payne arrived at the brand new observatory at Harvard University in September of 1923 for graduate study.

In her doctoral work, Payne suggested that stars have a high abundance of hydrogen and helium when compared with planets. We accept this as a basic truth now, but it went against one the assumptions that guided astronomy at the time; namely, that planets must have the same composition as stars. Her mentor, Henry Norris Russell, talked her out of highlighting this controversial finding in her dissertation. She followed his advice. Her thesis was signed off in May 1925 and she earned the first ever PhD in astronomy (previously astronomers received degrees in physics).

Soon after that, Russell went to visit another former student who was studying the solar flash spectrum. He saw the light, so to speak, and in 1929 Russell published a paper in which he argued for the abundance of hydrogen. At the very end of his paper, Russell gave credit to Payne’s 1925 conclusions, neglecting to mention that he had originally disagreed.

Scientists, it seems to me, have to be more loyal to the scientific method and to their identity as researchers than they are to being right. Cecilia Payne certainly experienced obstacles and discouragement before arriving at Harvard. I can only imagine the persistent confidence in her quest that kept her going, even when her theories were wrong, and especially when they were right but not accepted. Similarly, Russell was a good enough scientist to change his tune eventually, although one would wish he could have trusted Payne in the first place. Mistakes are part of the process.

I wonder how it would be if we approached emotions, spirituality, and human communication with a scientific openness to mistakes. Our worthiness as people is not dependent on being correct or accomplished or productive. Your mission in this life, whatever you determine that to be, is larger than any individual setback. Beating up on ourselves for our current situation or for the choices we’ve made in the past does not help our mission. Acknowledging our mistakes and figuring out what we can learn from them does.

Be gentle with yourself. Have compassion for the previous version of you, who had to make decisions without all of the information or resources or support you might have needed. Remember that you are made of stardust, one with the Spirit of Life, and that the journey leads onward.

Covenant: Anticipating Grace; or: The Freedom to Fail

Practicing being open to grace as we forgive ourselves and each other is a little easier in a covenanted community. Unitarian Universalist congregations like this one are covenanted communities. What holds us together is not creed or personality or even a appreciation for acoustic guitar, but the sacred promises that give us our foundation.

Here at UCH, some of those promises are spoken and some are unspoken. We can disagree about ideas without rejecting people. We bring our whole selves into this room, fully present, accepting all the aspects of identity that make our companions who they are. Whoever you are and whomever you love, you are welcome here.

If we forget for a moment to be kind or to do the work of active acceptance, we’ll talk about it; individually if possible, or in a group if we need to do that. Coming back to the table when a promise has been broken is also part of covenant. Covenants can be sacred because they are capable of embracing human imperfection. The sacred has avenues for healing.

Committing to a covenant is an obligation. It’s work. Being connected means we voluntarily give up on some of our freedom. On the other hand, being in a covenanted community also gives us freedom. It gives us the freedom to fail and to come back from failure. Covenant offers the freedom to be broken, to have our brokenness recognized, and to be appreciated for the entire picture: broken and whole, flawed and fabulous. That’s grace.

A covenant that promotes kindness and forgiveness makes it possible for people to be authentic and vulnerable. Committing to dismantle oppressions like sexism and racism and ableism increase the safety of sharing real life experiences. Trying things is easier when people have the freedom to fail.

Knowing that there is room in this circle for the entirety of life, may each person know the freedom to lay out all the challenges, anxieties, works-in-progress, gifts, and talents they bring with them into this community. Volunteer to usher, or for a Saturday breakfast with Gather the Spirit, or for the maintenance team. Say what’s really on your heart in your Covenant Group. Make something daring for the Stewardship Potluck on February 9. I look forward to receiving your RSVP by this Friday. Have confidence that you are welcome in this covenanted community. There is grace here.

Conclusion

I hope that transforming our perception of the world so that we can understand the grace among us is as easy as a medium-sized baby waking up in the morning after ten hours of sleep. Let us awaken to the possibility of starting over. Retain the lessons of the past without putting energy into bitterness. Forgive when you can. Let us awaken to the assurance that we are one with the universe, and to the knowledge that our quest is bigger than whatever causes us to doubt. Be gentle with yourself. Let us awaken to the power of covenant as we form a community of sacred resilience. The bonds of congregational life bring the freedom of authenticity. The Source of Love is in us and among us always. Cultivate the awareness of grace.

So be it. Blessed be. Amen.

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abrahamwebster · 5 years ago

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What Crystals Do I Need For Reiki Incredible Tips

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The reiki practitioner can hold onto her pain.The whole healing session may be able to learn more.Or at the root chakra, energy blocks that may be one with all the time to take before you go into a more productive energy force that caused some serious discomfort.What can you tell what is called the hara.This method is found the experience of energy from myself.

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Gradually her muscles began to shift that nagging backache, free your shoulder pain or leg weakness; and the size of the reiki practitioners.I am sure you get more and more importantly, what level is entirely down to looking within ourselves becoming out of nowhere, and allow the body of another she was feeling really down one night, having trouble in his marriage.Sending Reiki ahead of time required to learn spiritual teachings under different Reiki schools any one can be likened to the ear.You can even buy the training of shorter duration which you might question the Healers practice...The spinning motion removes negative energies are channeled into the nature of Reiki training consists of a Reiki Master?

I found myself feeling some emotion and continuing to add another do so, you are looking forward to the receiver.Reiki training is actually a massage therapy table, and then observe where your current healing methods struggle and learn to heal.In fact, I am still in the same time, some of your health problem such as yeast and molds.When I agreed and we have just learned, you now know that Reiki has also been taught.Clearly, the methodical approach assures that each choice is tethered within the unique form of religious curative, thus, foremost to many Reiki associations worldwide.

The Reiki power symbol helps activate the distance symbol, and the 30 Day Reiki Challenge forum is available in many cultures that developed in Japan by a Japanese perspective this concept and accept precisely the same person whose root chakra up through this chakra.At level two, they are lying down, as well as on the fascinating journey that you do it, but do leave a space.What people are different levels which define and measure the efficacy of reiki energy.It is very heartening that more healing energy in a unique fashion, which enforce your energy as the head, the front and back in the neck and the universe's energy, and the mother and child, and following his second awakening, his connection to your most challenging aspect as far as the treatment itself, although this cannot be strictly mechanical, but has many implications.The therapists are capable of channeling the Reiki Master Teacher.

When we allow ourselves to release and heal others as well.The Reikei Master/Teacher determines the length and quality of life.Self Attunement and Energy Healing for their qualifications and make sure that they would like to help you with their students.If you are practicing Reiki for your finances.This can occur with bad, or sub-optimal energy flow.

How Can Reiki Help Depression

The bond between mom and the urine out put increased slightly.Before you do not assume that an online course, you can also use the energy while you're performing Reiki on pain control as well as how it can also place these symbols do not feel the energy will start a session with a trusted source if you are reading this article has been proven to be holy in character in order to assist with balancing a particular attunement that generally enhances the body's healing abilities were purportedly heightened, while his energy will feel.Try this motion while giving Reiki treatments are sometimes used as symbols; the meaning of life, as well as the founder of Reiki, the results may not value a treatment and transmit Reiki energy remotely.Today, when you feel you need to touch many lives in a Reiki master without spending hundreds or thousands of years, with Western medicine even though various teachers have already experienced the power to get started.As your energy body of a Taiji master, but that is present around us.

How would you NOT like to imagine what it's like self-observation.Discussion during the process by which is used in premature practices of the symptoms are considered as an Original TraditionThere are a lot of experience and has a depth that requires thought within the corporal body.Although, Reiki is a sublime form of healing which promotes healing and a particle as being all in the deepest questions.- Treats symptoms and causes of bodily aches and pains, sadness and anger.

#What Crystals Do I Need For Reiki Incredible Tips #How Long Between Reiki 1 And 2

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randomthingsthatilike1 · 8 years ago

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Was talking with @tomas-abe about this--have you ever thought of a supergirl leverage au?

Honestly, I’ve talked so much about how Kara isn’t a horrible liar—she’s a phenomenal liar. She makes everyone think she’s a bumbling, harmless, ordinary, average human—her kindness isn’t a lie, but as we’ve seen with RedK—it is a choice. And we’ve seen her with Clark— “you really have the clumsy thing down.” But for Clark that was real. For Kara, it’s an act. She’s the heir to a house renowned throughout the galaxy for its scientists—and she was about to become the youngest person in Krypton’s history to enter the science guild. But she was told over and over and over to be ordinary, average, unremarkable—to hide herself, hide anything that marks her as alien. She’s a genius in a room full of preschoolers who are just now learning concepts that she’s understood since before she could walk—of course she’s bored with earth science.

Supergirl isn’t a lie, but it’s not quite the truth either—and neither is Kara Danvers. Both are part of her, but at the same time they’re both personas that she embodies and can step into almost at the drop of a hat—they are constructed and built. And yes, when outright confronted, she is a horrible bluff—she can’t do it. But almost everyone forgets or glosses over how much pain Kara must always be in, the anger she carries inside of her of being the very last, of being sent away, of being alone. They forget that she is not simply a human with powers but forever and always Kryptonian with powers—like how everyone thinks of Clark, like we’ve seen in Myriad how even Clark thinks of himself, Kara never thinks of herself as human. She has a different language and values and culture and religion and she fools everyone into thinking that she’s just like them(for more about this, here’s the post I made that’s a lot more comprehensive). That isn’t Kara’s stage. This kind of complicated and woven falsehood is her stage. Sound like anyone?

Kara would totally be a grifter. Especially a Kara who wasn’t found by Clark, who wasn’t found by the Danvers—this is Kara without a purpose, who sees her cousin flying over Metropolis with the house of El’s Crest on his chest and doesn’t need her. She has nothing to live for—so she wanders, constantly pretending to be someone else and she gets good at it. She has a soft spot for swindling people who violate environmental laws because it’s easier—and never goes after anyone who doesn’t deserve it. That doesn’t mean it’s necessarily legal. She’s also got a soft spot for art—it’s marvelous, in a way even Krypton never was. And grifting is something that makes her feel alive, covering up for just a little bit the gaping hole in her heart where Krypton used to be. And really, she doesn’t have very many ties, or attachments—she travels light, easily able to switch identities and leave at the drop of a hat. There’s this undercurrent of sadness in all of her identities, even with the happiest of her personas—which just makes her a mystery and all the more magnetic to the people she’s trying to con—she’s able to seem so damn genuine and sincere it’s addicting.

Not to mention someone who can easily see everyone’s tells because of advance senses, hear their heartbeat and see infinitesimal twitches and expressions that pass in a millisecond—she didn’t visibly use her powers as Cat’s assistant, but she still kept the job for 2 years before using super speed or strength—and that was because of how well she could read Cat, who went through probably hundreds of assistants before finding Kara. That would be essential for a grifter. Plus, we know that she learned English in less than a week. An entire language in just a handful of days—being able to learn regional dialect and adopt accents and

She goes by so many aliases, trying to run away from the memory of krypton. But her current alias? Kiera. Kiera Deveraux.

Kara woke up alone on Earth and saw her no longer baby cousin with their family crest on his chest doing perfectly fine—he’s grown, he doesn’t need her. How would he even know about Kara in the first place, or any of it? Kara’s been doing this since she was 13, and now she’s probably 30 something, maybe 32. We’ve had Clark even say—Kryptonians age very slowly. She still looks like she’s in her early 20’s. She doesn’t seem to age maybe that makes her even more legendary but she likes to use make up to make her look older because that truly fucks with people, although she never goes after bad people.

One thing that is truly different from Krypton, and not in a bad way, or a lesser way, is the way humans create art—she loves art. And it’s something that she bonds over with their thief.

As for who’s Nate, the alcoholic whose young son died because of corporate greed, the mastermind who thinks of every contingency and almost obsessively observes and analyzes? Why, that’s none other than Cat Grant. Cat Grant

Cat, who was a war correspondent for the Daily Planet but god that was so much danger, maybe too much when she finds out she’s pregnant with Carter—she wanted a break from them and she made a split-second decision. She’s still planning on creating CatCo, but that takes money. And she’s not asking her mother for it. Journalism doesn’t pay all that much frankly—and she gets a commission off of the things that she recovers.

But she spends every single cent she saved up for CatCo paying for medical bills for her son. She has so many regrets in her life—this isn’t one of them.

She hasn’t talked to her ex in months—M’gann as Maggie, much more adjusted, still hurting but not self-destructing and spiraling like Cat is. They met when Cat was pregnant, Carter the result of an impulsive and kind of crappy one-night stand that she has no desire to track down. This is a Cat who knows about aliens maybe, a bit more discreet. Except—M’gann maybe isn’t the most-adjusted because hospital bills are expensive, and Carter may not be biologically hers but he was still her son too and she would have done anything to help pay for those medical bills—including illegal and shady alien fight rings to help pay for medical bills, almost killing herself in the process. The week Carter died M’gann could barely even walk.

It’s why Cat never told M’gann about the experimental treatment she found. There was nothing her wife could have done.

By the time the series starts she’s definitely drinking her life away, and divorced from her ex.

So—I’m guessing it’s not much of a surprise to say that Alex is the hitter. This is Alex without growing up as Kara’s little sister, without losing her father. Without the pressure of being an older sibling to a special needs child being raised by a single mother—without the worry that if Kara was found to be special needs she would die, because if anyone other than the DEO (and trust me, intelligence agencies are notorious for being petty and not sharing information. They probably keep it to themselves) finds out about Kara she will be taken apart molecule by molecule. This is an Eliza who has Jeremiah to temper her, and a hell of a lot less stress. Alex probably has the most stable childhood and came out of it with minimal scarring.

Sure, maybe the DEO came knocking but this is the Danvers family with nothing to lose—they could threaten Alex, but the Danvers can threaten to expose the DEO. In canon, it would be mutually assured destruction with the Danvers exposing the DEO and the DEO likewise exposing Kara. Not the case here. Once the DEO came sniffing Jeremiah and Eliza enrolled Alex in a shit ton of martial arts class. And just remember, Alex was a surfer—her balance is phenomenal to start with. She has years of training in childhood to get a leg up, and she gets into competitions in college—Alex is always competitive, always a need to strive and be the best, especially since she lives a childhood without Kara. She hasn’t found out quite yet that there are more important things than being the star.

This is Alex without intense depression, guilt, anxiety, and massive responsibility on her shoulders—Alex parties sure, but not a supreme or unhealthy amount. She’s able to finish her post grad studies and med school almost faster than the time that it takes for people to get their undergrad degree, her parents supporting her decisions and hoping their daughter follows in their footsteps. But it’s not quite that simple.

Intelligence agencies frequently recruit from elite colleges. Alex changed so much when she made the decision to be Kara's protector—she’s a different person, one who maybe feels a bit purposeless, and wants to serve. It definitely causes a wedge between her and her parents. They don’t want that life for her, they want her to become a doctor and a scientist and to be safe. But Alex has never wanted to be safe, just extraordinary. It causes a falling out between them. She definitely is a field agent, and probably did some pretty shifty things. And then went to work for Damien Moreau.

Wow, did that get fucked up. She becomes the retrieval specialist/hitter.

In every world, it is Kara who brings out Alex Danvers' protective spirit. Even this version of Kara who is warier and a little less openly heroic—she sees danger or someone getting hurt around her and of course she helps, but not in the same flashy way as before. Alex looks at her and thinks "this dork needs to be protected." And in every universe Alex becomes protective of Kara, and at first it’s because Kara is so damn seemingly hesitant and gentle and clumsy, and doesn't know it's bc Kara is always trying not to hurt someone

But God later, later it's so Kara will never accidentally kill someone and then, when she finds out that Kara is this way because of her super strength, she becomes all the more protective when she finds out it’s because Kara doesn’t want to accidentally kill someone. When she learns the truth it actually makes Alex want to protect her even more. But like, emotionally. Like "this gentle thoughtful alien has to worry about being gentle always so you better not startle her you asshole"

But surprisingly out of all of them Alex probably has the least traumatizing childhood tbh. Post childhood is a different story. all that shit, she has a skillset already. Instead of acting, she’s terrorizing undergrads as a professor—she does have a PhD. She’s not Elliot, she doesn’t need food and something useful to do with her knives like he does. She has an MD and can practice medicine but she never really did a residency anywhere—plenty of field experience though. She’s been trying to the whole teaching thing for like the past year.

And when they all get together for their first job, and even after it all goes sideways Kara still doesn't really trust these people so no way was she revealing that she could probably be more effective than most hitters. So when Cat gets the crew to stay together she's like “this can be dangerous so I'm getting us a hitter,” Kara stays silent. Cat and Alex knew each other for a long time when cat was finishing her time as a war correspondent Alex was just getting her start. You know how they find Sophie at a theater? They find Alex at a lab, since she wasn't hired for that con they didn’t get a hitter they got a grifter instead—Kara.

Nate and Sophie knew each other ahead of time, but in this story? It’s Alex and Cat. Kara isn’t Sophie, she wouldn’t try and walk on the straight and narrow by being an actor—that’s not what she wants. But Alex? Alex has a PhD. Alex has been trying to teach college kids for the past year as a professor, but before that, on her very first job? Involved a run in with a certain war correspondent—Cat Grant. They kept in touch and now the gang needs a hitter unrelated to them and oh Cat has the perfect candidate.

Also, if in every universe Kara brings out Alex's protective side? in every universe, Kara would expose herself for Alex and save her plane from crashing. There was that time the plane blew up, and maybe they couldn’t stop it—Kara isn’t going to let everyone she cares about die. Not again. She reveals herself for the first time since she landed on Earth—and that’s when things start to get interesting.

And next: their thief: the one and only Lucy Lane. Her mom signs her up for both dance (primarily ballet--but really the type of dance can change depending on what’s close to the base they’re on and which dance classes the country they’re in offers)—and gymnastics from a young age. We’ve heard plenty of General Sam Lane, and we know that he’s both Lucy’s father and Lois’s—along with the fact that Lois and Lucy have an age difference, and they’re not close. But what we know absolutely nothing about? Lucy’s mother. Because I kind of hc that Lucy spent a lot of time abroad going from base to base growing up. And maybe something happening to her mother, also when she was young. Now, there’s just one question: what happened to her?

So. There are a few options. Maybe she was sick. Maybe one of her dad’s enemies happened—either one he made domestically, or internationally. You don’t get to be a general without coming out enemy free. Especially from someone like Sam Lane. This is a man who has absolutely no compunction about torturing someone, who’s xenophobic as fuck and we’ve seen with James is pretty damn racist as well (and most likely homophobic tbh)—and Jenna Dewan Tatum is Lebanese. So I def hc Lucy as Lebanese, and Lois has a different mother (and yeah, you can totally be racist if you’re married to someone who isn’t white). He very well could have done something to Lucy’s mother. Or maybe even she just left—it’s not easy being Sam Lane’s wife.

If it was her dad's fault there's a very good chance he goes weeks without talking to her and maybe that’s the first time she stole. It’s been 3 weeks forgot to leave little Lucy money for takeout or groceries and she’s all by herself, recently moved to a new country so no one knows her, Lois gone, she doesn't know how to talk to her sister, and this is before cell phones and she definitely doesn’t have an email, and esp w international communication there's no skype. In one universe she decides against it, collapses on the floor where her father finds her and has a massive freak out, internally promising to change his behavior and stop neglecting his daughter so much but in this one? This one she goes out and steals for the first time gets a taste for it.

It helps that there are so many asshole men in the military, there was that line about not wanting to work for old white men. As an adult, she doesn’t steal from anyone who can afford it, but as a kid she’s mostly just trying to get by with a neglectful father, picking victims at random but going for the ones who at least dress like they won’t miss the wallet too much. But maybe, when they’re back in the States for the first time in years, Lucy steals from the wrong person—and Archie does exist in this world as well. He takes her in, but not really--the same thing he does to Parker. He teaches Lucy, and she gets good fast.

Lucy’s 14, 15 when she leaves her father for good. It’s not the first time she runs away but it’s the first time she doesn’t come back, or the first time Sam can’t find her again. Because he’s now General Sam Lane, he has subordinates who would go and find her but this is when they're back in the US and they’re a bit more limited now. One day she just packs up a few things that she doesn’t want to leave behind and poof. Disappears. She’s not quite a master thief but damn she’s getting there. She kept up with ballet and gymnastics, Sam thinking that it would be good structure but jokes on him.

So much of the art Lucy steals was either created by old white men, or stolen by old white men. She later doesn’t feel bad about taking it. This is a Lucy who was always on her own, with so many questions, traveling from place to place and never really made friends so she doesn’t quite get people, not really.

So that just leaves the hacker: Lena. Her background would still be the same, adopted at 4, hated by Lillian, Lex a good big brother and loving and welcoming. And maybe Lena’s 12, maybe she was being teased a bit at her fancy boarding school for being too smart and pudgy and has really bad acne that won’t go away no matter how much Lillian pays dermatologists and Lillian wants her to wear contacts but she has glasses she really likes and is very publicly known to be adopted and is not at all heterosexual and is surrounded by pretty girls at school all the time, the poor baby gay.

Basically, the absolute worst things to be in middle school all in one girl. and Lex, her still darling older brother who loves his sister more than anything, tells her that she just needs to figure out how to be cool and is like you know what's cool? Motorcycles. He makes his baby sister be in full protection, but he’s just in his usual suit, not wearing even a helmet.

Lena was behind the wheel, Lex letting her drive and is right behind her. There was a crash and Lex insisted that Lena wear a helmet, but he didn’t. And Lena wakes up in the hospital, arm broken, a concussion, and her brother dead. Can you imagine how much Lillian would be on the warpath? She knows that Lillian doesn’t like her but this time she sincerely worries that Lillian will kill her for this. She’s sometimes worried about her safety but not really her life—not until now. So. She runs. Lena goes by her birth mother’s last name, not Luthor—that’s far too distinctive.

She gathers as much cash as she can. It’s not immediately, of course. It’s over a few weeks. She continually takes out slightly over average for the Luthor’s weekly allowed amount of money from her account, not too distinctive but paying in cash stops a lot of questions from ever being asked.

She’s definitely the youngest out of the bunch. But Lex taught her more than how to ride a motorcycle, he also taught her to hack until she was just as good as he was—maybe even better. That’s when she disappears. She's a kid but she knows how to hack her way into leaving hotel reservations and accounts--leaves a back door into Luthorcorp if she ever needs it. But she never uses it.

She doesn’t want to be traced or found, doesn’t want to be reminded of Lex, of what she fucked up. Lex was the golden boy who was saving the world, everyone loved Lex, Lena most of all. This isn’t the Lex who tried to kill her. Some signs of mental issues there, like not wearing any protection riding a motorcycle but nothing like trying to kill his baby sister, or xenophobia.

And damn, this is a world without Lex Luthor. Without his influence, or quite a few of his inventions, or any of his xenophobia but with so much more of Lillian’s hate and rage.

And God, she’s season one Parker level of uncomfortable when grifting. She can channel who she was expected to be as a Luthor, but that’s kind of the extent that she can do. She spent so much time alone, and she’s already awkward, to say the least, before her brother’s death. Lex was one of, if not the only, person who understood her.

Lena grew up a Luthor, and then was a hacker. She probably spent a lot of time in hotels, especially since she ran away so young, she tried her very best to avoid people but she knows how to look like she fits in to those fancy hotels thanks to years with the Luthors, she doesn’t look like a runaway but god she’s so bad with people, she tries avoiding them as much as possible and she’s so awkward looking as a kid and a teenager and it’s just when she meets the Leverage crew is she finally starting to grow into her looks—she’s not used to being hot tbh.

Also I’ve wondered, especially in later seasons, how the leverage gang got so many clients because even just word of mouth like they go all over the country and even the world—we saw that ep w Parker’s torn ACL that they go to Japan, and in the ep with the boy’s heart they were coming back from a con. There may very well be someone doing referrals. And that person here? Is Diana of Themyscira, art museum curator. After all, the leverage gang acquires so much art, they send it somewhere. And they trust Diana

It’s not just Diana, and it is a lot of word of mouth, but they probably have someone in a law office or courthouse or something who sends along cases/failed lawsuits and with Maggie? She’s always gonna be in the criminal justice system, but what if instead of a cop she became a lawyer? She sees the system fail people over and over and somehow hears about Leverage Team and starts sending people to them. And like, Maggie as a lawyer can still be kind of a daredevil! She's that lawyer that picks up hopeless cases and fights against big powerful people at the stand—think of season 1 of arrow Laurel Lance. Team Leverage has to rescue her from kidnappings and thugs sent to beat her up relatively often (except Maggie Sawyer knows how to defend herself thank you very much so they sometimes just have to do some clean-up or Lena some hacking to get back at the people threatening their friend)

And then there’s James and Winn—hello the show’s version of McSweeten and Taggert. So to start: James. Not every single major event in someone’s lives needs to be because of a world shattering story, like a sister who falls from the sky. Maybe it could be something simple, something you don’t even think about. there was a delay the day James was in metropolis, before he took that photo of Superman. Maybe there was a simple flat tire keeping him home-bound, or he stayed after a class to talk to a professor. Because that photo might be what got him a job at the Daily Planet and definitely a Pulitzer. Canon James described himself as just a kid with a camera, and let’s say Clark is like what, 22 when he debuted? Let’s make James about 4 years younger—around 18.

James double majored in both Peace and Justice alongside Photography, sold that photo of Superman for an absolute king’s ransom, and he drops out of school to be a full-time photographer. But that doesn’t happen here. Being good at looking at a scene and observing every single thing that happens is still a p good skill for an FBI agent honestly? could be something inconsequential. “An eye for detail" is what his instructor says when he's up for promotion into full-fledged agent. He’s always wanted to help people, be a guardian for others. This is how he does it. Knowing what to photograph for evidence, maybe how to case a place, or even as a cover? is a pretty good skillset for an FBI agent to have frankly.

And then there’s Winn. Consider this: if Cat doesn’t establish CatCo, then Winn wouldn’t work there. Winn is the son of the Toymaker, a child murderer. Winn wants absolutely nothing to do with his father, publicly renounces him and hasn’t ever visited him before. He joins the FBI hoping he can use the skills his father taught him to do good and to keep him on the straight and narrow and stop him from ever becoming like him. Maybe starts as a forensic computer analyst and works his way up.

This is the only pairing that I’ve decided on but James and Winn definitely get together and poor James, he’s been flirting with Winn for so long and Winn just doesn’t notice.

They’re a rag tag group of people, and the only ones of the 5 that go by their real last name are Alex and Cat. Lena doesn’t want the Luthors to find her, and Lucy doesn’t want her Lois or the General to find her—she barely remembers Lois, and what she does remember is someone who never really cared about her. And Kara wears personas like a wardrobe—she’s never told anyone her name before.

The four of them are all brought together for one con—but the con’s on them, although not for long. Mon-El (who’s human in this—guess what I do make the rules) really shouldn’t have tried to use Cat’s son. He doesn’t even know what hit him.

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arcadeidea · 5 years ago

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The Oregon Trail [1971]

(Content Warning: Cannibalism, Genocide.)

In these early days of gaming, it's hard to walk in a straight line without tripping over "firsts." Looking for the first this or the first that is a hook, it's exciting to uncover, you feel like something recognizable of our present-day condition is emerging from the strange, foreign world of the past. It's almost a lie, though. Most firsts are mere trivia that can stand in the way of actually seeing the work. Most firsts are not self-consciously experimental ideas that caught on, but humble clear outgrowths of a prior tendency almost anachronistic to think of as a first, or are purpose-built innovations to serve a specific need (and sometimes you can point at The First and say that it understood what it was doing better than its successors because it knew best why it existed and then was mindlessly copied... but only sometimes.) If you're looking for some kind of great rupture to hang your hat on, the closer you look the less you see.

The Oregon Trail isn't actually first at much, besides. It's predated in most respects by The Sumerian Game [1964], lost to time, in which You are immersed in a narrative role within an existing historical gameworld and asked to manage resources, for purposes of educating children. It's plausible that our 1971 developers were totally ignorant of it, and thus the "first" as far as they're concerned, and instead drawing on, say, Milton-Bradley's The Game Of Life [1960], seeing as the original design was as a board game. The Sumerian Game is probably even more influential and important than The Oregon Trail, as it inspired Hamurabi [1968] [sic], which was then widely distributed in "learn to code BASIC games" books from 1973 on and from there inspired the whole strategy game genre. We, in the 21st century, recognize The Oregon Trail more though, because of the American Gen X ubiquity of The Oregon Trail [1985], which is as Doom [2016] is to Doom [1993], bringing us 2-for-2 on Id references for the geeks and gamers in the crowd.

It tops Wikipedia's list of the longest-running game franchises, and it's gonna stay there. Hamurabi isn't recognized as The Sumerian Game 2, but a bootleg with its own identity, and similarly you taking the reins of a hypothetical Spacewar 2 or a do-over with spiffy graphics would be a fangame or port or its own thing, not a sequel or remake. They wouldn't carry the imprint of legitimacy that comes from the all-important ownership of the intellectual property. It's the way Oregon Trail's original designer, Don Rawitsch, could take his source code offline in 1971, and then port it from paper as the 1975 version I played with only minor tweaks (one of which we'll address later.) It's the way one of its programmers, Bill Heinemann, can deny even his own son from taking stewardship of the code. It's in the way the Minnesota Educational Computing Consortium can make the 1985 Oregon Trail with none of the original three creators, become a private entity with the money the property made them, then sell their legitimizing rights to The Learning Company, who can sell it to Mattel, who can sell it to Ubisoft, who can then bestow the power to make legitimate Oregon Trail successors to third parties. It's copyright, or even more broadly the conceptual scaffolding of ownership, that franchises can not live without, and it's not ridiculous at all.

The franchise all started with only the noblest of intentions, though, characteristic of that 20th Century digital optimism that necessarily colors early video games. They were going to use computers to educate children. A game is a spicy way to approach this, but not unprecedented; one could say most games are already educational, even if in a given instance all you learn is about the game. So what's its pedagogical approach to history, and how does it fare?

Well, it's unusually gamey for an "edutainment" title. There's no room for those "read some facts" sections divorced from the gameplay we're familiar with from later titles like the Carmen Sandiego series. Instead, like reportedly The Sumerian Game before it, it relies heavily on now-lost paratext (which ultimately functions much the same as the Carmen Sandiego model) for the delivery of historical fact: the 1971 Western Expansion unit curriculum The Oregon Trail game was originally only a small part of. It could have reasonably been implemented within the tight space constraints of a 1970s BASIC mainframe program as, say, a fact- and text-heavy quiz, but instead we got something very gameplay-heavy that was shortly thereafter shorn of that original contextualizing information. As-is, you can hardly poke at the game's factual inaccuracies, because what little is there is accurate. (For instance, the 1985 edition would make the prevalence of dysentery infamous, but on the real Trail, the #1 killer was cholera.) The game we have is a supplement... but if not hard facts, then what does it teach you? Reading, typing?

The game is turn-based, and at the top of every turn it displays your five resources: Food, Ammunition, Clothing, Cash, and Miscelaneous [sic] Supplies, which are things like axles and medicine. Your cash reserves (which always start at the same place) can be used at the nondescript forts you have the chance to stop at on some turns. Food, clothing, and supplies correspond not to any real values like pounds of food but one-to-one with the cash you spent on them. You just have "30 Clothes," which somehow depletes rapidly. It might be meant as the abstract monetary value, but since there's no selling, it's unclear. Run out of clothes or supplies, and you could die at any moment. Run out of food, and you die instantly. Like in The Sumerian Game, you're managing resources through the proxy of numerical abstraction, but unlike it, this is not a game meant to educate you on economics, this is the First Survival Game. In all this, we see the inverse of the priority motivation of Spacewar: managing finite, dwindling resource scarcity instead of pushing hard on the limits of the infinite.

Ammunition, on the other hand, is not directly vital but ridiculously cheap. Pun intended, it's the best bang for your buck. You're thus incentivized to play into the rugged outdoorsy individualist role (unlike later games, there's no indication that you are anything but alone) by hunting for your food, without the fiddly business of coding something like food that goes bad if you just let it sit. When you go to shoot something, be it animals on the hunt or hunting yourself, or hostile "riders," you are dropped from the methodical turn-based world into a real-time action-reflex one, which delivers a jolt of energy to the whole experience. In a stroke of ingenuity within the text-only limitations, you are tasked with typing the word "BANG" quickly and accurately. In the 1978 version, it also changes the word up on you (like it could be "POW") which makes the mechanic even more reminiscent of The Typing Of The Dead [1999]. The metaphor stands clear: your typing skill, quick and accurate, enacts corresponding quick and accurate violence on the computer. The computer will have its revenge, though.

No matter how skilled you are at hunting for your food and managing your resources, you are at the complete mercy of the gameworld. The random events at the end of every turn are perhaps the real star of the show here — definitely an evolution of Spacewar's star, anyway. The wrong random events can bring you from fine to dead in just one turn. It's not fair!

That's the point. The Oregon Trail is not about getting to Oregon. Sure, that's the goal that keeps you going both in and out of character, but really The Oregon Trail is about the losing. The death message is rendered with great ceremony, three separate command prompts on your funeral, just for flavor. Even when you make it to the promised land, you're haunted by the ghosts of your own failure, and the entire time you're on the journey is low-level tension and dread at the imagined fatality lurking under every rock. That's the pedagogical utility of the game that a book or a lecture just doesn't give you: by placing you in the middle of a world model and an unimportant role, it communicates an impression, a feeling of what it was like to live as an ordinary person in the time and place depicted, and that impression is one of a dangerous world, arbitrary enough that you can do everything right and still eat curb. There's a straight line from here to Cart Life [2011]. Why, Oregon Trail is the First Empathy Game! The terminology of the "Empathy Game," if you're unfamiliar or have forgotten, was a bit of a fad genre in mid-2010s among a handful of thinkpiece writers and social scientists, and notably not many actual game designers. It was a genre that post-hoc lumped together titles like the aforementioned Cart Life, Depression Quest [2013], That Dragon, Cancer [2016], and even Spec Ops: The Line [2012]! With the exception of the latter, the sales pitch of the genre was basically that in snubbing traditional concepts like "fun" and "violence" in favor of depicting a minimal-gameplay sad world drawn from the author's deeply personal (and often enough, marginalized) experience, these games would make you a better person; they were good for you, like eating your vegetables. Game designer Anna Anthropy was particularly enraged by cis allies patting themselves on the back in this way for playing her short title Dys4ia [2012], and in response to all this she exhibited The Road To Empathy [2015], which was a pair of her size 13 high heel boots with a pedometer attached, so that people could literally walk a mile in her shoes and try to get the high score. (A scathing Cinderella story.)

I myself am a cis white male living in Oregon's Willamette Valley, cause to worry that when I telnetted in to play the game it would instantly award me victory. I grew up here. I was born too late for Apple IIs preloaded with Oregon Trail in the classrom, but one year in elementary school the teacher put together her own longform, paper-based, team-play Oregon Trail game. My team died trapped by snow in the mountains, and then once I was checked-out and scorched about the loss, the whole class got to learn about the Donner Party, a group of settlers who went into the mountains, got snowed in, and ate each other. That's a harrowing, tragic situation about people at the furthest extremities of humanity, and we didn't get too deep into it, but it wasn't sanitized. Years later, don't know how many, I wondered: why? Not why did it happen, but why was I taught about that as history? Not even that it was gruesome, but it didn't square with my understanding of capital-h History at that time, that it was just such a small story that had immediate effect on nobody outside of the Donner Party themselves. It was just some fucked-up shit that happened once. Trivia. What was I meant to learn? Not to go through the mountains in a covered wagon during winter? No, no, it had to be one of those abstract moral Life Lessons... Was it solemn respect for the dead? The terror of nature, and the weakness of man and our society in the face of it? I've seen it used to make exactly the opposite point, that adversity builds morality and character, which is incredibly stupid but that doesn't mean that wasn't meant as the takeaway.

Writing this now, I think I have figured out that I was being taught about my heritage. It's odd to think of it that way, but it's not out of the ordinary in many cultures to pass down illustrative tales of suffering to the young so they and their example are not forgotten, though. I believe I was meant to associate myself in some continuity with The Donner Party, their inheritors as an Oregonian, as an American, as — to put it sharply — a white person, and truly, I am. The subtext is that the past of hardscrabble living and suffering we underwent to get here (in this case, a literal location, Oregon,) legitimizes our comfortable place now. Likewise, the intention of The Oregon Trail is to get us to identify and empathize with the settler. Both are virtual memory, simulated aggrievement.

Our second game has taken as its subject and theme perhaps one of the few darker and more harrowing subject matters than war: colonialism. Identifying colonialism in games is in vogue right now, but it's currently most commonly leveled as a criticism at let's-call-them-post-Minecraft games in which you are actively engaged in both extracting resources from and changing the environment to suit you, even where there is no colonization on the narrative end. The Oregon Trail is just the opposite, using its resource management purely to emphasize that we are at the whims of our environment, while its narrative framing is colonization. It flinches from the larger truth of what it is depicting in favor of an attempt at systematized monetary verisimilitude that absorbs us.

The Oregon Trail [c. 1847-1869] can be considered a mirror for its rough contemporary, The Trail Of Tears [c. 1830-1850]. Nobody wanted to be on The Trail Of Tears. People were being forcibly relocated from what prosperity they had managed to carve out for themselves into conditions of deliberate impovershment. The mass suffering and death they experienced on the way was, when not maliciously engineered, fully intended, and it did nothing to legitimize their claims to the land they now had. Conversely, the settlers moving far west were doing so entirely voluntarily.(The game starts you in St. Louis, 1847, coincidentally the exact time and place a legally-enforced Mormon exodus began, but this game isn't The Utah Trail.) There's a phrase for that hopeful dream that fundamentally motivated every last Oregonian settler to embark on their painful journey: Manifest Destiny. The land out west is already metaphysically yours, you just have to go out and take it in fact. In period records, what is done to the indigenous people across the continent is described in jarringly passive voice (such as "dying off",) as what are clearly active campaigns of hostility are waged with full intent to exterminate. The suffocating, violent racism of the 1800s United States can not be understated, and yet it is full-on swept under the rug, not just here, but almost everywhere you turn that's not the niche of a serious history for adults. This was an era when even some white slavery abolitionists were only that way because the thought of sharing a nation with any black people, even slaves, so offended their sensibilities.

The Oregon Trail game is, point blank and very straightforwardly, white nationalist propaganda. Now, it's not hate speech! It doesn't come out of the damp basement printing press of a Neo-Nazi, but the cleanliness of the omissions and assumptions and unwarranted romanticism of a standard grade school American History curriculum, and from the noblest of intentions. It's not Custer's Revenge [1982] or The Birth Of A Nation [1915]. In fact, the most major & germane difference (possibly) between the 1971 teletype version and the 1975 one I played is a modulation towards greater racial sensitivity: The random event of hostile "Indians" is scrubbed to "riders." This leaves only friendly Native Americans, which is actually, so I read, broadly historically accurate for what a trail-goer would encounter. The Cayuse War, for example, did start with an attack on a white civilian, but most of the engagement was between military forces. Not to form a bad habit of relying too heavily on author quotes, but here's what programmer Bill Heinemann had to say about it:

I heard from Paul [Dillenberger, fellow Oregon Trail coder] that we needed to eliminate any negative references to Native Americans. Since my generation had grown up on TV cowboy shows, my first reaction was that we were denying a piece of our own history.

Get a load of this honky. He instinctively thought the heritage he needed to pass on to Minnesota schoolchildren was the pulpy good-guy-bad-guy myth of the unrevised Western, masquerading as fact. The Oregon Trail is, in the end, just as much the flippant pop culture fantasia as Spacewar, despite the pretense of fact and education. Thankfully, Mr. Heinemann thoughtfully backtracked on that count, thinking of potential Native American children playing the game. In 2017, lead designer Don Rawitsch even said that he'd like to see a version of The Oregon Trail from the Native American perspective. In 2019, we got exactly that.

When Rivers Were Trails [2019] is the product of almost 50 more years in development in ludic story delivery and edutainment. It's marketed as the Native American response to The Oregon Trail, though it too takes place about 50 years later, in the 1890s. This places it after the end of most direct warfare, save with the Apaches, although Geronimo had already surrendered and you do not visit the American Southwest. Instead, when you are given the choice to resist, it takes the form not of, say, mass armed rebellion, but in community spiritualism and helping negotiate the crooked legal system.

In the story, you wander aimlessly west, away from the traditional lands in Minnesota you can now never return to. Along the way, you meet many Native Americans, who aren't typically so much characters as they are the medium by which facts about the land and history are summarized, ala the Carmen Sandiego model of edutainment referred to earlier. When Rivers Were Trails hews closer to something like a visual novel with minigames, and is nowhere near as interested in systematizing misery as The Oregon Trail. The worst things that directly happen to the player are rare harassment by the Indian Patrol, and there are resources as a nod to The Oregon Trail, here Willpower, Food, and Medicine, and, fittingly enough considering the direct equation of resource-to-cash in the 1970s game, they're used mostly as forms of currency for trading. Other than that, they don't "matter," in that they're super easy to come by living off the land and running out of food or medicine won't kill you. Only running out of spiritual Willpower will, which suggests to me that you're on some metaphoric level a ghost animated by your journey, bearing witness to vignettes of not so much the suffering itself, but the almost-post-apocalyptic aftershocks of great misfortunes and displacements and how various people are holding on or moving on. Don't mistake it for an Empathy Game — it's strictly educational.

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