#and realising that doesnt make him better | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

skeleton-squid-boy · 6 months ago

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I'm so insane about the doctor they just want to save people. we see them after the timewar where they've just sacrificed every value they hold dear to save as many people as possible by killing so many more and then we watch them spend thousands and thousands of years just trying to save people without hurting anyone and failing over and over again. they save the planet or the universe or whatever every time but it never feels like a victory because they never get to do it right. they always have sacrifice some part of their morality or their humanity or their kindness or their hope in order to win. they might not give their life everytime, but they sacrifice themself everytime they save the world.

#something something desperate to be a doctor but always a soldier #something something they need the wounded so they need the war #this is mostly about twelve #because i feel like this is what all of s8 is abt #him being forced to face the fact its not coincedence he always finds himself in the middle of a war #hes never the one to start them but hes always the one to end them #and realising that doesnt make him better #sorry!!! sm dw brainrot #lied not sorry <33 #squids bullshit #dr who #doctor who #twelfth doctor #twelve #🌌

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lokh · 3 months ago

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ive been thinking about this but. i think shuro understands laios' character pretty well, but he doesn't value his strengths or interests (monster knowledge). in the DVD extra where laios imagines what would have happened if they'd been on better terms, shuro STILL leaves because he thinks his chances are better with a trained crew (which....... is likely to be true but. look at how he ended up anyway lmao). meanwhile kabru recognises that while the party isnt particularly strong, the reason they get so far in the first place is BECAUSE of what laios knows about monsters. shuro seems aware that laios knows about monsters or has an interest in them, but views this as frivolous and a waste of time and doesn't seem to realise how much this knowledge carried them in the first place

#his prevailing impression of laios appears to be that hes too carefree 💀#i think thats more the case of whatever he observes laios' priorities to be #he thinks its unimportant....#anyway thats just my onion. ive seen people say that shuro doesnt Get laios #and i dont think thats true. i just think he dismisses some of it 💀#its his understanding of his character that. spoiler alert i just realised.#makes him back laios up to the point of defying the elves #this is just what i think is possible. because i realise also #that kabru makes this theory once hes actually talked to laios abt monsters iirc #and like. i dont think laios was as openly fanatical about monsters until after falin got killed LMAO #its entirely possible that actually shuro DIDNT observe this (knowledgeable) about laios #or at least didnt recognise the extent of the knowledge pulling them thru..#but again also. i realise shuro wasnt actually wrong for thinking his chances were better #with his retainers LMAO... senshi made a huge difference in their party and theres no way #shuro could have known hed appear. without senshi they very may have well #not made it that far......#this is all to say that i want a scenario where shuro thinks about this and realises #how integral to their survival laios' knowledge has been so far #and how his knowledge has come about as a result of study and hard work and dedication #<- secret laishuro agenda LMAO

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deus-ex-mona · 2 months ago

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when the slowburn makes the ship extra cute~~~

#kimikawaii this week for sure!!!!!! (has been saying that since july)#ik the nghy payoff will be ✨sweet✨ but it’s kinda funny how hw are slowburning nagisa’s role in the series as a whole #mans has a grand total of 3 songs to date and only 1 has a cv ver #place your bets what do you think will come first? nghy duet or ariken duet #t h o u g h. ariken is also kind of a slowburn but we all knew they’d get together since ijiwaru release (shoutout to the og miku ver)#some say that ariken is still not canon in the novels to this very day #can’t believe we got arisa’s future career aspirations reveal before ariken canon in the novels smh #but i digress!!!!!!!!!!!! nagisa needs more action and attention!!!!!!#he did have kind of a ‘the bus came back’ moment with the izumo collab but we never saw his face again after that #(full cast merch doesnt count bc p. much everyone’s included in them except for the school nurse and kako)#so. all im saying is: slowburn nghy by all means. just dont slowburn nagisa’s character arc aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa #now that mona mania has cooled off (to a degree) and chizusweep has mellowed out (somewhat) it’s shiranami’s time to shine!!!!!!!!#y. yeah. ik it’s harder to market him bc he’s a literal average (albeit handsome) joe but that’s part of his charm!!!!!#i mean!!!!! he can cook!!!!! he stans ft4!!!!! he’s devoted to the girl he loves!!!!!! he’s a dreamboat!!!! what more could you ask for?#but. i do have to say that nghy developments have been kinda awkwardly handled as a whole… esp with heroine ikusei #i think nagisa should’ve been introduced in heroiku or something… since he was planned from the start of hiyori’s development…#maybe they were trying to pull a ‘2nd love wins’ kinda parallel with kthn? but the ascana retcon made everything awkward huh…#i think it could’ve worked out in the mv-verse. like if they’d placed heroika+sukiuso after the fight+make up in herotaru #so the timeline would go smoothly from heroiku -> herotaru -> heroika #with hiyo realising that she’d be better off focusing on work and track after the asuka debacle + chizu fight #like a ‘forget romance!!! i gotta work hard and run hard!!! omg wait nagisa wdym you love me???’ kinda thing #but the [redacted] anime p much cut + pasted the asuka arc with the nagisa visit and. hm.#is this just an excuse to blame the clumsy handling of the nghy arc on the [redacted] anime? m… maybe…?#but it all still could’ve kinda worked out if they’d shifted the timelines around a little. y’know. since sukiuso mv has nagisa visit in oct #idk i think having hiyo learn how to doll herself up from lxl for her first crush (asuka)#and then using what she learned to yassify herself to meet up with nagisa would’ve been neater?#like a ‘hey look nagisa :) i applied what i learned from my pals :)’ kinda thing #or maybe chizu and juri could’ve helped her with the nagisa dressup scene post-herotaru fight… but i digress!!!!!!#hmmmmmmmmmm… well. this has gone way off topic… anyways nghy canon and cute that’s all byeeee #the dude from gamushara

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fruityumbrella · 4 months ago

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PLEASE do tell about your time travel wip :)

god i love a time travel fic, theyre always so fun, esp when its pre-relationship characters meeting their future established-relationship selves. i think theres enough really really good fics of that nature already out there though, so my one is actually the opposite! a sanji from six years in the future gets devil-fruit-ed back to the merry, where he and zoro are still together. the initial idea focused on the present timeline and zoro trying to stop the breakup before it happens, but i found exploring what could cause them to break up and the fallout of that + going back to your present after having just seen how much love you used to have more interesting. snapshot of said breakup:

Zoro flinches. He presses back in almost as quickly, kissing Sanji again in the hopes of distracting him. It’s too late, though. He’s already been putting it off too long. Sanji pulls away. “I just need some time,” Zoro says with frustration. He grips Sanji's arms to keep him from retreating further. “Zoro…” “I'm not used to it, that's all, I just need a little more time, Cook!” Desperation curls at the edges of his voice and Sanji feels so much worse. “We can't keep doing this. It's messing with everyone now.” “I love you.” “I—” A deep breath. Recenter. No distractions. “You know it's not about that. You resent me.” “The fuck I do.” “Maybe not yet, but you will. I understand, too, I—” “It wasn't your fault.” “It doesn't matter! Don’t fucking patronise me! We both know it doesn't matter how it happened, just that it happened. I don't want you to hate me. I don't want to fester in this for years, your resentment and my guilt, and the only thing we have left is bitter and ugly. We deserve better than that. You need to let me go.” “I lo—” “Let me go, Zoro. We can come back from this, for the crew, as crew, but only if we stop now,” he does a poor job of keeping his voice even. His next words are a pleading whisper. “Don't make me hate you.” Zoro blinks once and the wet sheen in his eye is gone. His mouth is a hard line when he nods, short and jerky. He lets Sanji go. It's the worst thing he's had to feel in his entire adult life.

#froglatte #ask #i was going to put a snippet of future!sanji finding himself on the merry and freaking out or present!zoro realising theyd broken up #but i cannot resist a 'you need to let me go' line yknow rfhjdn #the original idea was gonna be sanji basically self sabotages after whole cake and acts like he doesnt love zoro anymore #bc he feels like zoros better off without him etc you know the classics #and he tells present!zoro basically like. dont let me go. im gonna push you away and im gonna be so fucking cruel but please hold on #i kind of think i might want to include that anyway and make it like a split timeline thing #but im def more focused on the future and seeing why they break up + the reunion...

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arrowheadedbitch · 4 months ago

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They really do lean in to Ethan being the smarter one the longer the series goes on, don't they? To be fair, he always was *smarter* but Benny at least used to *kinda* try

#mbav #not that its a bad thing #i mean #they dont make benny dumber #hes just a slacker #we know hes good at computer stuff and math #but not english and ethan is better with wires and hardware #which is probably why benny immediately electrocuted himself in the blood drive ep when #he tried to hotwire that car #which maybe he learned his lesson there and thats why ethan does all the wires from then on #see? it all makes sense!#ethan and sarah never let benny live doorus openus down so he just lets ethan handle that kind of thing #anyway what was i saying?#benny doesnt get dumber like some other characters do which is good #hes just kinda hands off #why do it when he knows ethan will #which DOES feel in character for him #when he realised its easier to just let ethan do the hard lifting he did #which is better for the whole group #lets not roast benny about this its kinda a good call #he can stick to claiming jane austin books have aliens in them

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squarebracketsmileyface · 9 months ago

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Back at it again with a sad song to relate to these characters!!!!

This is so!!!! This is so Alex to Jay, or at least how he would want to be to him under better circumstances. Or at least that’s how I saw it.

https://youtu.be/R2zXxQHBpd8?si=-VKZo5PAshjGBfQM

Song is: will he by Joji

you're so right. This is so alex wishing he'd been able to be better to jay. (tho there's also an argument that jay also needed to be better to alex, and cos sorry its locked is all jays pov so far i haven't been able to show that he was also pretty bad for alex just like alex was bad for him. neither of them are the good guy, neither of them are purely a victim, neither of them are purely a 'villain' -can't think of the right word so villain will have to do-)

anyway, analysis thingy

I got knots all up in my chest (Up in my chest, up in my chest) Just know, I'm trying my best (I'm trying my best) 'Cause when you look (When you look) When you laugh (When you laugh) When you smile (When you smile) I'll bring you back (Bring you back) And now I'm sad (Now I'm sad) And I'm a mess (And I'm a mess) And now we high (Now we high) That's why I left (Why I left) That's why I left (Woo)

Pretty simple, just Alex thinking about Jay and how much he really did like him. But Alex was a mess and left Jay for Amy because he didn't know how to cope with his feelings (and with some other stuff I haven't written yet, but i'm ignoring that just so this song will fit with what's already actually out there for this fic)

Will your tongue still remember the taste of my lips? (My lips, my lips, my lips) Will your shadow remember the swing of my hips? (My hips, my hips, my hips) Will your lover caress you the way that I did? (I did, I did, I did) Will you notice my charm if he slips up one bit? (One bit)

Again, Alex thinking about Jay. But also, Alex realising that Tim and Jay are together now from watching the videos Jay uploads, he's watched them slowly get closer, and then one entry something changes and Alex knows that Jay has "moved on". Alex wonders whether Tim hold and kisses Jay the way he did that last night he and Jay were together, and he wonders if Jay thinks of him when Tim messes up. He calls it his 'charm' kinda sarcastically, because he's just kinda caught up in hating himself for what he had to do.

Because unlike in uni (their uni relationship was complicated, i promise I'll write it eventually, just know that Jay did some bad stuff just like Alex did), this time Alex was the only person in the wrong for hurting Jay like he did in chapter 2 of Sorry It's Locked.

'Cause I don't need to know I just wanna make sure you're okay (Okay) I don't need to know I just wanna make sure you're all safe All safe, all safe (woo)

Alex doesn't really want to know if he's left Jay with shit from everything that happened around entry 47 (in chapter 1 and 2), he doesn't want to confirm for himself that he hurt Jay so bad that he's been left with lasting emotional shit. He just wants to know that Jay's okay, that he's safe, but every entry Jay posts just confirms over and over again that Jay is not safe, every entry posted just reminds Alex that everything he did to try and drive Jay away and make him give up on finding out what's wrong with Alex and what's going on with the whole Operator thing.

Everything Alex did was for nothing. He hurt Jay for no reason, and sure, he couldn't have known it at the time, but in his little moments of clarity he realizes that he could have done something else. He could have talked to Jay, he could have asked for help, he could have explained what was going on. He didn't have to hurt him, but he did, and it didn't even achieve what he'd wanted it to. If anything, it just made everything worse because now Jay's got someone else involved.

Will he play you those songs just the way that I did? (I did, I did, I did) Will he play you so strong just the way that I did? (I did) Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah Will he treat you like shit just the way that I did? (I did, I did, I did) 'Cause I don't blame you

Again, Alex thinking about their relationship, both their uni relationship and their one night stand in chapter 1. He knows Tim and Jay are together now and he can't help wondering what their relationship is like, since they keep it completely off camera except for the odd hickey just barely peeping out from under a shirt collar etc.

He can't help almost hoping that Tim treats Jay like shit, and he hates himself for it, he just wishes he could have Jay for himself but he knows he can't. Do you know what I mean. Like, he doesn't actively wish harm on Jay, and he's constantly trying to think of ways to keep Jay safe and alive, but he also can't help feeling jealous of Tim and wishing he'd treat Jay badly so that Alex could swoop in and 'save' Jay. He knows if that happened though, and Jay would shy away from him too, he wouldn't go running into Alex's arms, he'd just be angry at and scared of both of them and would probably do something stupid and get himself killed.

'Cause I don't need to know I just want to make sure you're okay (Okay) I don't need to know I just want to make sure you're all safe

Same as before, in the end, Alex just wants Jay to be okay, he want's to make up for everything he's done by finding a way to make sure Jay lives, to make sure he doesn't have to kill him.

#Just. god. them #I both love and hate sorry it's locked so much. So fucking much. I need to give Jay and Alex a hug and then fucking yeet them at therapy #they need therapy #they're so fucked up and i love them #why did i do this to them?#marble hornets #jay merrick #tim wright #alex kralie #marble hornets fanfic #jaylex #mh sorry its locked #song ask #lyric analysis i guess #God they're my babies #i NEED to make Alex such a sympathetic character #you NEED to know that as much of a dick as he is. Jay was also shitty back in college and that lead to why their relationship is this way #and now in MH times alex isnt really able to think clearly. That doesnt make it better but it sure as hell explains his thinking #and makes it so you realise that he really is trying his best to save jay. he just goes about it the wrong way #and that's destroying him from the inside #God the plans I have for these fuckers

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xx0yeet-everything0xx · 1 year ago

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transmasc jason grace who's on board

#learning to have healthy relationships w masculinity...#makes the issue with being the perfect son perfect soldier even more prominent because like. its like he has to meet a certain standard to #be a perfect man and to prove himself that he somehow has to 'prove' he is worthy of his identity and this ingrained thing that #he owes it to work harder 'towards masculinity' which he kind of knows its a toxic concept but he feels like for himself it makes sense #he has to and he cant. he cant be free. but thats why he came out wasnt it? to be free #he doesnt want to be a girl he likes being a guy but its soo hard until #one day he realises that... it doesnt have to be!! he can exist how he wants to he doesnt owe the world anything he doesnt have to #PROVE himself & he starts indulging in a bit more feminine things because he can be confident as a transmasc without having to 'back it up'#and percy likes plushies and pink teddy bears and frank wears bracelets and nico wears eyeliner #that doesnt make him think theyre less of a guy. so... isnt it the same for him? why DOES he have to cage himself?#and then its so much better. hes free. THIS is what he wanted when he first came out #to be HIM.#jason grace #ohhh these long-ass tags making me Feel Things tho #pjo #percy jackson #hoo #heroes of olympus #toa #trans jason grace #transmasc

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silenceismychoir · 1 year ago

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jp should have asked these women in the pods if they wear makeup daily if it really is such a huge dealbreaker for him wtf

#i dont buy it. he probably doesnt like women who wear makeup idk but he's making up excuses cuz he doesnt taylor #i hope she realises she deserves better than that american flag fucker and leaves him #love is blind #love is blind s5

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antiparticular · 10 months ago

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hot take. I kinda don't like odo. like he's a good character but I don't enjoy him as a person

#i find him to be selfish #this is probably influenced by the episodes im watching rn but #because he gets to be in the link #he doesnt give a shit about anyone affected by the war. he doesnt care about anyone who is affected by him not disabling the security while #rom sabotaged the disruptors UNTIL kira is at risk. everyone else is disposable but because he *cares* about her and her dying #will make him *sad* he realises oh no id better save her #and ngl the way he cares about kira feels kind of. possessive. i dont like it #i understand that hes a complicated character and all that and i appreciate it but that doesnt mean i cant dislike him as a person #ds9

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dirt-str1der · 2 years ago

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just wanna say im obsessed with your mind and i read your posts about kiryu like the morning paper. thank you for your service

(Sweats) e-even the ones about him laying eggs ?

#Thanks for the ask !#HIIIIII thank you for reading my posts im really a serial rambler so that is no easy feat. i just had a lowkey nightmare that was insect #based so its nice to think about different kinds of eggs once in a while. sorry for the eggs i just learned the word gravid and i cant stop #saying it !!! i literally opened tumblr to make another post about kiryu i was gonna say he was probably antisocial in his childhood which #is really a miracle any girls managed to notice him at all. and i believe that he was very dismissive of his clothing and appearance because #you know when youre young and trans and havent realised it but you just randomly hate everything about your appearance and dont even knowwhy #i think his hair was always too long and too shaggy and he would let nishiki comb it sometimes because he really could not stand his mane #and sometimes when it gets wayy too long and shitty the sunflower caretaker would drag him outside and just cut a chunk of it off with a #knife and kiryu would have shoulder length hair for a little while... anyway i need to give him a little girlfriend like how rikiya had one #when he was in school because all trans guys need a little girlfriend or an all girl group of friends to be his girlfriends when hes a kid #so he can carry their shopping bags and wait for them outside the changing room etc and kiryu cant resist a girl so he gets a letter from #nishiki and he tells him yeah this is probably a prank to have you wait there for hours or there might be guys waiting to ambush you and #beat the crap out of you. and kiryus like Nobody beats the crap out of me except our dad. and goes to meet this girl and he actually agrees #to go out with her and this is the thing that keeps him in school because otherwise he would literally not go. like hed walk with yumi and #nishiki and the rest of the kids at sunflower that he doesnt care about to remember the names of. and he would just wave them off at the #gate and wander the town in his school uniform and then after school he’ll meet nishiki and possibly yumi at the gate (yumi probably makes #other friends but its a Must to walk nishiki home because he’ll get lonely) and when kiryu starts going out with this girl hes obligated to #walk her home so he already broke rule one but nishikis like happy for him But he has to walk home with some other random guys now and #eventually theyll broach the topic of ‘his psycho sister’ and nishiki literally has to beat a few guys up to defend kiryus honour and when #he comes back with news of how unpopular kiryu is with the rest of the guys because he looks better with short hair than they do and has a #girlfriend whos super cute. kiryu is just like damn did you commit social suicide to protect my honour? youre my best friend. but whatever #kids get over it fast. but parents dont!! and kiryu walks his girlfriend right to her front door and soon enough her parents are going to #find out that the boyfriend she keeps gushing about is a girl and straight up take her out of school to make her stop being gay and kiryus #like but ... im a boy ... punches the ground and screams to the sky. anyway enough about dysphoria simulator im here to talk about this guy #when hes a bit older because im salivating and shaking over the thought of his bootyass rip kiryu you woulda loved thongs. i think hed hate #ripped jeans but only because he thinks theyre a waste of manufacturing. its literally better for the world that kiryu decided 2 transition #because can you imagine if she was a girl and needed to wear a bra? like she would literally have an itchy back all the time which would #give her a hair trigger temper which means kamurocho a&e room will be very healthily plush indeed. god my battery is dying i need to take a #shower noww anyway really thank you for the nice message you are so sweet ... hi ...

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abyss55199794 · 1 year ago

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i miss him so much

#i wish we stayed friends #i really did want to #i loved him so much #i have to walk down his street every day to get to college and its fucking painful #i guess it was fine over the summer but i see him and i cant even say hi #hedidnt even stop talking to me by saying what he really felt #i dont know #i thjnmk trying to talk tk him would make it worse #im not allowed to miss him because i chose the wrong friends and now i cant talk t anyone about this whod understand #and the fact i know i treated him like a replacement in the absence of others was so fckjgng bad of me and i knew it #but the friendship i had for him was real and it was probably better than any of the other friendships i had and its gone its gone its gone #vent #when that winter depression brings back the guilt complexes #hes got me blocked i know be does and he doesnt want to talk to me #theres nothing i can do because i fuckigng wasted it in favour of people i realise now werent even fucking nice to me #i just want to disappear #im so sorry you genuinely were a betterbest friend to me than anyone else clukd have been

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lokh · 7 months ago

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oughh i wanted to do a cute laishuro take on the blu ray extras (what if laios had been eaten instead) but lets be honest. they absolutely would not have made it as far without laios