#and makes it so you realise that he really is trying his best to save jay. he just goes about it the wrong way
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Back at it again with a sad song to relate to these characters!!!!
This is so!!!! This is so Alex to Jay, or at least how he would want to be to him under better circumstances. Or at least that’s how I saw it.
https://youtu.be/R2zXxQHBpd8?si=-VKZo5PAshjGBfQM
Song is: will he by Joji
you're so right. This is so alex wishing he'd been able to be better to jay. (tho there's also an argument that jay also needed to be better to alex, and cos sorry its locked is all jays pov so far i haven't been able to show that he was also pretty bad for alex just like alex was bad for him. neither of them are the good guy, neither of them are purely a victim, neither of them are purely a 'villain' -can't think of the right word so villain will have to do-)
anyway, analysis thingy
I got knots all up in my chest (Up in my chest, up in my chest) Just know, I'm trying my best (I'm trying my best) 'Cause when you look (When you look) When you laugh (When you laugh) When you smile (When you smile) I'll bring you back (Bring you back) And now I'm sad (Now I'm sad) And I'm a mess (And I'm a mess) And now we high (Now we high) That's why I left (Why I left) That's why I left (Woo)
Pretty simple, just Alex thinking about Jay and how much he really did like him. But Alex was a mess and left Jay for Amy because he didn't know how to cope with his feelings (and with some other stuff I haven't written yet, but i'm ignoring that just so this song will fit with what's already actually out there for this fic)
Will your tongue still remember the taste of my lips? (My lips, my lips, my lips) Will your shadow remember the swing of my hips? (My hips, my hips, my hips) Will your lover caress you the way that I did? (I did, I did, I did) Will you notice my charm if he slips up one bit? (One bit)
Again, Alex thinking about Jay. But also, Alex realising that Tim and Jay are together now from watching the videos Jay uploads, he's watched them slowly get closer, and then one entry something changes and Alex knows that Jay has "moved on". Alex wonders whether Tim hold and kisses Jay the way he did that last night he and Jay were together, and he wonders if Jay thinks of him when Tim messes up. He calls it his 'charm' kinda sarcastically, because he's just kinda caught up in hating himself for what he had to do.
Because unlike in uni (their uni relationship was complicated, i promise I'll write it eventually, just know that Jay did some bad stuff just like Alex did), this time Alex was the only person in the wrong for hurting Jay like he did in chapter 2 of Sorry It's Locked.
'Cause I don't need to know I just wanna make sure you're okay (Okay) I don't need to know I just wanna make sure you're all safe All safe, all safe (woo)
Alex doesn't really want to know if he's left Jay with shit from everything that happened around entry 47 (in chapter 1 and 2), he doesn't want to confirm for himself that he hurt Jay so bad that he's been left with lasting emotional shit. He just wants to know that Jay's okay, that he's safe, but every entry Jay posts just confirms over and over again that Jay is not safe, every entry posted just reminds Alex that everything he did to try and drive Jay away and make him give up on finding out what's wrong with Alex and what's going on with the whole Operator thing.
Everything Alex did was for nothing. He hurt Jay for no reason, and sure, he couldn't have known it at the time, but in his little moments of clarity he realizes that he could have done something else. He could have talked to Jay, he could have asked for help, he could have explained what was going on. He didn't have to hurt him, but he did, and it didn't even achieve what he'd wanted it to. If anything, it just made everything worse because now Jay's got someone else involved.
Will he play you those songs just the way that I did? (I did, I did, I did) Will he play you so strong just the way that I did? (I did) Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah Will he treat you like shit just the way that I did? (I did, I did, I did) 'Cause I don't blame you
Again, Alex thinking about their relationship, both their uni relationship and their one night stand in chapter 1. He knows Tim and Jay are together now and he can't help wondering what their relationship is like, since they keep it completely off camera except for the odd hickey just barely peeping out from under a shirt collar etc.
He can't help almost hoping that Tim treats Jay like shit, and he hates himself for it, he just wishes he could have Jay for himself but he knows he can't. Do you know what I mean. Like, he doesn't actively wish harm on Jay, and he's constantly trying to think of ways to keep Jay safe and alive, but he also can't help feeling jealous of Tim and wishing he'd treat Jay badly so that Alex could swoop in and 'save' Jay. He knows if that happened though, and Jay would shy away from him too, he wouldn't go running into Alex's arms, he'd just be angry at and scared of both of them and would probably do something stupid and get himself killed.
'Cause I don't need to know I just want to make sure you're okay (Okay) I don't need to know I just want to make sure you're all safe
Same as before, in the end, Alex just wants Jay to be okay, he want's to make up for everything he's done by finding a way to make sure Jay lives, to make sure he doesn't have to kill him.
#Just. god. them#I both love and hate sorry it's locked so much. So fucking much. I need to give Jay and Alex a hug and then fucking yeet them at therapy#they need therapy#they're so fucked up and i love them#why did i do this to them?#marble hornets#jay merrick#tim wright#alex kralie#marble hornets fanfic#jaylex#mh sorry its locked#song ask#lyric analysis i guess#God they're my babies#i NEED to make Alex such a sympathetic character#you NEED to know that as much of a dick as he is. Jay was also shitty back in college and that lead to why their relationship is this way#and now in MH times alex isnt really able to think clearly. That doesnt make it better but it sure as hell explains his thinking#and makes it so you realise that he really is trying his best to save jay. he just goes about it the wrong way#and that's destroying him from the inside#God the plans I have for these fuckers
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part 2 lol
so apparently it's really fucking hard to get into the SAS. and ontop of that I've been getting tiktoks of people going around an army base asking why they joined. most responses were to pay off student loans, bills, school, (someone said there's was 6 years of prison or school and *mental note for idea*), the recruiter lied or spoilt them, barracks bunny.
141 (poly?) x notsobaddasssoldier!reader
and now i can't stop thinking of soldier!reader. who really half-assed their way through everything - only doing the job for the money and to pay off student loans + they had nothing better to do.
who somehow ends up being adopted by Price (kinda like Gaz i guess ???) all because reader happened to be in the right place at the right time and saved Price's ass while managing to complete a mission the Task Force were doing.
and it's not that you saved his ass or completed the mission that makes Price go *this is mine* - it's the fact that afterwards all you can say is-
"this shit is so not worth paying off my student loans."
"oh fuck i forgot to cancel my subscription. fuckk- waste of fucking money"
- all the while a building is burning in front of you but yeah just not at all concerned about what had just happened. so price just *grabs you by the back of your neck and holds you up, claiming you as part of his task force now.*
(lol you probably can't do that irl but this is fiction sooo suck my ass.)
and laswell's just like no... they are very much still green john. way too green. no.
but it's too late. he's already introducing you to the task force. singing your praises and you're just like
"man he promised to pay off my student loans and give me food." basically how ur recruiter got ya ass.
enough said. you get the whole off the books speech, saving the world by doing things others wouldn't like. but u couldn't give a rats ass - you should but nah...
and like... you know you're the rookie... you're still green... but some of the shit 141 do you just...
"so you just gonna kidnap the wife AND the child...? right... kid, you wanna watch bluey? here..."
"and you do this often...? crazy."
but you don't exactly protest. how could you with how much you get paid. you kinda just side-eye and look away when it's geta a lil crazy. *bombastic side-eye*
and the other 141 guys - oh my days. become just as enormed as price and want to start really trying to amplify your skills. but every time, they start explaining how to do things - the best way to go about a situation or how to fight a certain way.
you pull this face. like your top lip pulls back, your eyebrows scrunch together, and there's a slight frown on your lips as they speak. like you look confused/disgusted. but you don't even realise cause-
"why're you pulling that face?" 141
"that's... that's just my focusing face..."
"oh..." 141 feels bad
then when they do take you in feild you're shaking your head no. like you haven't been around that long. what the fuck? now you're bout to infiltrate an enemy base!?!?!
"can i just wait in the car?"
"no." price
"i'm gonna vomit."
"aim at the enemy." ghost
people think that because you're suddenly in this badass task force that surely they're just using you for your assets.
they all think you're the 141 barracks bunny. and maybe you should be pissed or annoyed or grossed out. but all you can do is sigh and pause from the burger price got you, and let out a long exhale.
"fuck... maybe i can just do onlyfans or be a pornstar... shit maybe it's not too late..."
"military is bascially sex work - selling my body..."
"not that different from what i'm doing now. body being used, check. body sore in the strangest places, check."
your tone so empty, blank and nonchalant, but there's a serious look in your eyes that when you grab your phone out to maybe do a little research on how you could do that, your phone is snatched from your hand by one of the guys and they walk out the room without a second look back.
with an annoyed huff, you go back to eating your burger. but suddenly, you turn to the person who genuinely thought you were a barracks bunny.
"hey you think if i be a barracks bunny i get out of missions and shit?"
"...that's not how it works..." rando.
"fuck."
and maybe you try...
like you go to price's office and the guys are already in there, chatting about something that you should really pay attention too but you can't be assed. instead you unashamedly start to speak...
"if i suck ya'll dicks can i get out the mission?"
"no. you still have to join." gaz says amused
"even if you-" *que long sigh from price* "even if you suck our dicks."
"that's fucked up. i should've done porn."
and with the most hurt and broken-hearted look on your face, you leave the office, closing the door with a dramatic sigh. the guys just stare at the door in... confusion, amusement, and maybe arousal if ya'll dig that
idk man just gimmie more soldier!reader who just really ain't the fucked, there for money, lowkey hungry and doesn't know what the fuck is happening. kinda a pet or little sibling energy that the 141 love.
bonus*
"wait so they aren't sucking our dicks?" *soap says getting slapped in the back of the head by ghost
a/n: brain is rottinnggg. i should be doing so much other shit but... cod just consumes my brain 24/7
#my post#x reader#poly 141#poly 141 x reader#john price x reader#kyle gaz garrick#simon ghost riley#kyle garrick x reader#simon riley x reader#johnny mactavish#johnny mactavish x reader#johnny soap mactavish#captain price x reader#captain john price x reader#platonic 141#?#task force x reader#task force 141#platonic!141 x reader#boowrites#cod mwii#mwii#cod#simon riley#ghost x reader#kyle gaz garrick x reader#simon ghost riley x reader#cod mwii imagines
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i. imgonnagetyouback
The one and only son of the Gojo clan had fallen quite hard, completely and utterly, to a lowly woman who came from the dirt, and got his heart broken by her. Years had passed, he was still as angry since the day you left, but he only wanted you back.
contents. modern au, gojo satoru x reader, angst, not proofread.
Whether I'm gonna curse you out or take you back to my house, I haven't decided yet but I'm gonna get you back
next chapter
It was pathetic. The sight of Gojo Satoru, a well-respected son of the Gojo clan, was down on his knees right in front of you, begging you to stay, a daughter of a mere servant.
It made him look pitiful and weak, a miserable prince who had his heart shattered by a low class woman like you. But he didn't really give it that much of a thought, ever since he first laid eyes on you. He didn't care what people might've said from the very first time, and he proved it to you a million times as he stubbornly and desperately showed you how much he loves and adores you. So, begging down on his knees is not that much of a deal now, no?
“Stand up, please.”
But you were firm, closing your eyes as you let out a shaky breath. You hated seeing him like this, but you were left with no other choice. Your love for him could risk even the dangers of your life, and you were sacrificing him to save him.
“I do not wish to be with you any longer, Young Master.” You said, uttering his title in a whisper. “What we had was wrong. It was a mistake on my side. And I thought I was in love with you, but it was just a pathetic infatuation and I realised that another man best suits me, and it's not you.”
Your words were nonstop, every single thing that you uttered was shattering his heart into pieces. But Satoru furiously shakes his head, his hands trembling on your lap as his forehead falls on your knees.
“T-that’s not… T-that's not true…”
You remembered everything from that day. Every little detail, every word, every touch, every action, of what had happened stayed forever in your mind. It never fails to shatter you. To make you cry every single time that you thought about him as you lie in the confinements of your small room.
“I have done what you asked for. What else do I need to do–” A whimper escaped your lips as a hand flew over your cheek. Breathing heavily, you felt the sting on your skin as you looked back at the person who had been the cause of your pain.
“Pack your things, and never show your face again.”
Gojo Satoru haunted your dreams and nightmares. He managed his way in your heart, and refused to leave. He was the ghost of your tragic love story, you could only wish that you never should've picked up the pen. It's already been two years since you left, and even until now, your heart only beats for one man and it will always be for Satoru.
So what are you going to do when he comes up at your door, claiming what used to be his?
It all happened so fast that your head can't fathom how you ended back to the place of your nightmares. The Gojo clan's mansion. The place where it all started between the two of you.
Every corner of this place was filled with memories of you and Satoru, all the good and bad. But what you remembered most was the torture, the consequences you had faced for falling in love. You felt like all your scars were slowly tearing apart, opening the wound that was almost healed as you looked back to the man who stood in front of you.
You never should've been back in this place.
“I expect you to work immediately.” Satoru's voice was different. It was laced with authority and demand, not the sweet ones that you remember back when he was yours. “Remember, your family is in the palm of my hands. Try to escape, and you'll face the consequences.”
His eyes looked at you with anger, a pent up emotion that he bottled up all these years. His hands were balled on a fist by his sides, almost trembling, but he wouldn't let you see just how much you still have an effect on him.
Right now, all he feels is anger and hatred for what you did. For leaving him. For running off with another man. For loving him only to break his heart. For letting him hold on to your empty promises.
For those two years, he only loathed you and he's not going to be a forgiving man, he'll make sure you regret. He'll make you beg on his knees, the way he did for you.
“I expect you to be in my office in five.”
Now, you're back to square one. Working as his maid was already bad enough back then, so what's going to happen now that you're back to serve him again?
You can't help but notice how much he changed. Somehow, you can tell that he was still the same, only that he was only mad at you. It was obvious already how he's showing indifference only to you but not to anyone else. His bubbly personality that used to welcome you with warm embraces is now replaced with an angry demeanour of a man who cold-heartedly took you away from your family and took you back to the house where you suffered.
How unfair.
This was not your Satoru.
As soon as Satoru turned around and left you standing, he heaved out a breath that he didn't know he was holding. His heart felt like it was trying to escape from his chest. For the first time since you left, he finally felt his heart beating again.
All throughout those years that you were gone, he relentlessly looked for you. Trying to search your face in unfamiliar places, sometimes getting himself into trouble when he mistakes someone for you. Everyday, he was turning angrier and angrier when you never showed up, while all he needed was proper answers and explanations. He hated all the memory that you had left, and how it tore him to pieces that all of it was just a lie.
He couldn't believe you had the nerve. A woman like you with no name for herself, telling him that a relationship with him was just a mistake as you sought another man. Gojo Satoru was everything anyone could have asked for, so how dare a woman like you? How dare a woman he loved…
Everything comes crashing down into his mind once again. From the first time he saw you and how you've caught his eye. His heart starts to beat frantically, his breath caught into his chest, his tongue tied together. Satoru slumps into his chair as he closes his eyes, letting the memory sink in.
“Who is that woman?” Satoru asked an older servant, seeing your unfamiliar face walking around the garden in a maid uniform as he stared down at you from his window.
“That's [M/L/N]’s daughter. She's here to take her place while her mother is recovering.” The servant answered as she poured him tea.
Satoru watched as you walked quietly, your movements looked calculated and careful. He watched your finger touch a ragged cloth, gracefully cleaning the dirty tables.
From afar, he can see how your skin looked soft and pale. You were a bit thin and looked weak. He can only assume that he could break you with one twist.
Your face didn't have any emotion in it which intrigued him. Even your lips were downturned, like you hated every second of working in his place. You caught his attention in a matter of seconds, a curiosity growing inside him while he watched your every move.
He noticed the way your mood changed when his family's dog, a small golden retriever, came running to you. A smile formed into your face and he swore he could feel all the flowers blooming all around the place. Everything seemed to have lighted up, his heart began to drum in his chest as you kneeled down to the dog, petting and rubbing the cute animal between your hands.
What's so fascinating about you?
He swallowed hard. Satoru felt like a teenage boy realising that he was staring a little too hard. He felt like a stalker for watching you, shivering at his thoughts.
But he wanted to meet you. Something was pulling him to be close to your presence. A magnetic force was drawing him to come near, and it was the very first time that he ever felt like this.
But he'll take his time first. For now, he's going to settle on just watching you from afar, memorising every detail of you, until he is ready.
A knock on the door woke Satoru back to his senses. He straightened up on his seat, erasing the memories out of his head as he coughed. “Come in.”
But how can Satoru completely forget?
You walked inside in your maid uniform, the same dress that you used to wear, and it only took Satoru a matter of seconds for all your pasts to remind him of how much he loved you. He felt a pain in his chest, and for a moment, he wanted to fall back on his knees and beg for you to love him again. But even you had changed.
Satoru was also back to square one. He looks at you, reminded of the first time he had seen your face. The lack of emotion, the frown, the gaze that used to intimidate him, and the wall you had built between the two of you was palpable.
“Take a seat.” Satoru gestured over the chair in front of his table.
He watched you carefully as you stepped inside his office, striding forward with a sense of hurry as you obviously refused to seat. You stood in front of him, an emotion in your eyes that he can't seem to read.
“I have to get back to my family–”
“They are fine.” Satoru immediately cut you off, his voice ringing over your ear. He looked at you with a glare, venom laced in his voice as he says, “You are bound to stay here, as I said so–”
“You can't keep me here!”
Your scream shocked the both of you, but Satoru kept a straight face as he stood up slowly. He chuckled with malice, staring at your helpless state.
“What makes you say that I can't?” He smirked. “I own you now. Every single thing that's yours is also mine, even your family.”
Your eyes fell to the floor, your hands trembling at your side. Your knees felt weak underneath his gaze, burning and crushing your soul.
Everything he said was true. You were in so much debt ever since you left the Gojo mansion, your family almost falling apart if he didn't show up to take you. And now he's claiming every single bit of what's yours, not leaving a single piece behind.
Satoru made it clear when he took you here. He'll pay for everything to save you and your family. Your mother's hospital bill, your father's gambling debts, your brother's education, their food, house, electricity, and all their livings, because you couldn't pay them off by yourself.
So now you're trapped. He's got you wrapped around his fingers.
“You need me, Y/N.” You closed your eyes at his voice, shaking your head in denial. “You can't afford to live without me, and that's the truth.”
It was the truth, Satoru taking her away from her old life.
You were doing just fine when he was gone. But now you don't know anymore.
this is the part 1 of my mini (?) gojo series! i hope you'd like it and anticipate for what's next to come 🥺🫶🏻 [M/L/N] also stand for "mother's last name" in case you didn't knowww ^.^ I also hoped you understood the flashbacks and such.
this is just a prologue of the main story, sooo the real story starts at part 2.
#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk x reader#jujutsu kaisen fluff#gojo satoru#satoru gojo#gojo x reader#jjk gojo#jujutsu satoru#gojou satoru x reader#jjk satoru#satorugojo#gojo fluff#gojo angst#satoru angst#satoru jjk#jjk gojo satoru#jujutsu#jujutsu kaien modern au#jjk modern au#jjk fic#jjk angst#jjk fluff#jujutsu gojo#gojo satoru x reader#gojo satoru x oc#gojo satoru x y/n#gojo satoru angst#Spotify#taste of sky ☁️
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can i formally request something? (i have no idea if you take smut requests so please ignore me if not😭) a barty x reader smut where everyone already thinks they’re together so they’re like 🤔?? maybe they’re onto something
and maybe if they try to tell people (read regulus) they’re just like -_-¿ this is new
and well done on your exams!! i’m sure you aced them
hahaha omg this is so Barty and reader coded fr. thanks for your request (I hope I did it justice)
Barty Crouch Jr x afab fem!reader who have sex for the first sodding time, Evan
CW: smut - like straight up porn people, p in v intercourse, pussy slapping cuz apparently I'm a freak, soft choking, a slap in the face if you squint, 18+
This conversation had been going on for so long that you were truly fighting the urge to throw your head back and let out a guttural scream out of pure frustration.
But Barty never fought his urges.
“For fuck’s sake!” He screeched. “How many sodding times do you need me to say it: we - are - not - to - geth - er!” He shouted at Evan, emphasising each syllable with a stomp of his foot.
Evan smirked and shared a look with Dorcas before rolling his eyes.
“Sure. And what exactly is this?” He asked, gesturing with his book at your tangled forms.
Okay, so maybe you and Barty were physically affectionate with each other - but that didn’t mean anything.
“What?” Barty asked simply.
“The way you’re sitting, Junior.” Dorcas drawled in a bored tone.
You both looked at each other like you were only just now realising your proximity to each other.
You were positioned on the cushion of the sofa between Barty’s thighs with his arms wrapped around you and his hands weaselled under your shirt and tucked under your breasts.
What?
It was for warmth; he has terrible circulation, you know.
“We always sit like this.” You replied.
Evan scoffed. “You always sit like you’re one sneeze away from having his dick slip inside of you?”
“Okay, you know what?” Barty said, slipping his hands out from your shirt and patting your thighs to say ‘get up’, and standing up behind you. “I didn’t come here to be spoken to like this, least of all by someone who has his head shoved so far up his arse that he could check for tonsillitis.”
Evan shut his book he’d been pretending to read up until that point causing Barty to screech and shout at you to ‘save yourself’ as the two of you took off in the direction of his dorm room.
You were laughing and breathless by the time you made it into Barty’s room and he shut the door behind you, casting a locking charm for good measure should Evan come looking for retribution for the slander.
“Honestly, I think they’re just jealous.” You said breathlessly.
Barty nodded as he sucked in a few deep breaths himself. “I mean, it’s kind of sad he’s never had a best friend that he felt so comfortable with, you know?”
“Exactly!”
“And I don’t know why everyone has to make it so sexual. Do you have great tits? Sure. But that’s not why I put my hands on them!”
“Of course.” You agreed readily. “And I mean, are we two of the hottest people to walk these fucking halls? Of course we are -”
“Absolutely.”
“- but that doesn’t mean we’re shagging!”
“Right!” Barty said with finality as he finally sat down on the chair at his desk. “I don’t know why they have to make everything so weird.”
“Me either.” You groaned as you fell backwards onto Barty’s bed and stared up at the green velvet bed curtains draped over the four poster bed. “They’re probably just jealous.” You repeated. “I mean, we would make a really hot couple; I’d want to be with us too.”
“You know, that’s exactly what I was just thinking.” Barty agreed quickly. “And if we were having sex, they’d bloody know it. It would be hot.”
“Gods, it really would be, wouldn't it?”
“Without a doubt; I’m great in bed, and you’re great at everything.” Barty said simply, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.
“You know what.” You said as you sat up to face Barty. “It would be hot. Great sex comes from trust-”
“Check.”
“- communication,”
“Check.”
“Familiarity,”
“Duh.”
“Confidence.”
“Obviously.”
“We’d be sodding lucky to be shagging each other!” You proclaimed.
“I agree!” He responded.
You both stared at each other; breathing slightly laboured having gotten yourselves so worked up pleading your cases (to no one, seeing as you were both clearly on the same page).
“Huh.” Barty said finally, giving your body a once over. “You know, maybe it is weird we haven’t fucked before.”
“Yeah.”
Your eyes met his green ones that held an intensity you’d not seen from him before.
“Y/N?”
“Yeah?”
“Do you wanna fuck?”
“Yeah.”
And like a flip had been switched, the two of you were launching yourselves at each other.
No time was spent savouring touches or testing waters. It was all teeth clashing, tongues dancing, heavy breathing, and tearing each other’s clothes off.
It felt somehow both forbidden and oh so right.
You’d truly never thought about Barty like this; you really were just that comfortable with one another.
But as you pulled his shirt over his head and started fussing with his belt, a fire roared to life inside you screaming we should have been doing this the whole bloody time.
You nearly tripped over the waistband of your trousers as Barty backed the two of you towards his bed where he sat on the edge.
You broke apart for air as he moved his sinful mouth down the expanse of your torso and took to marking up your breasts.
“Salazar they’re even better like this.” He murmured to himself before taking one of your nipples in his mouth whilst he pinched the other.
You ran your finger through his hair, an action you'd done many times before, but never like this.
You pulled at it roughly and brought his lips back to yours as you pushed him to lay back on his bed so you could straddle him.
“Merlin, Y/N. No foreplay?” He chuckled breathlessly as you gave his cock a few strokes and whispered a lubrication charm.
“Next time.” You sighed as you lined him up with your entrance and slowly sank down onto his cock, causing the two of you to moan in unison.
“Next time, huh?” Barty teased as he smoothed his hands up and down your sides, allowing the two of you to adjust to the feeling of one another before you experimentally rolled your hips.
“What? Don’t you want to fuck me, Junior?” You taunted right back.
Barty thrusted his hips up roughly into yours, causing you to cry out and place your hands on his shoulders to stabilise yourself. “I think it’s very obvious I want to fuck you.”
“Yeah?” You whispered, bringing your mouth back to his and biting gently on his bottom lip.
“Yeah.”
You breathed a laugh out through your nose before you bit down harder.
“Then fuck me.”
And before you could tell which way was up, Barty had flipped the two of you over so he now hovered over top of you and had his hand wrapped around your neck.
“You want to be fucked, doll?” He groaned as he hooked one of your legs around his hip allowing himself that much deeper in you.
If there was one thing you could thank the fucked up breeding habits of Purebloods for, it was apparently the size of their cocks.
“You want me to ruin you?” He continued as he added more pressure to your throat, still grinding into your now sopping cunt. “Make sure no other wizard is ever good enough for you?”
Your entire body felt like it was on fire; the feeling when you’re sitting on the poolside in the sun after a swim; the beads of water only make the sun’s rays feel that much warmer against your skin.
“Oi.” He demanded, giving your cheek a chastising tap. “You gonna be good for me?” He asked more seriously this time.
His beautiful green eyes were nearly fully eclipsed by his pupils as he continued moving in and out of you with what you realised now was a very controlled pace. But you were eager to see where he’d go from here.
“I’ll be good.”
“Yeah?”
“Yes.”
“Tell me.” He ordered.
“I’ll be good.”
“What was that?”
“I’ll be good, Barty.” You whined, pulling at his arms in an attempt to bring him closer.
“Who are you going to be good for?”
“You.”
“Yeah?”
You hummed in agreement as he hiked up your other leg and wrapped it around his hip.
“Tell me.”
“I’ll be good for you! Promise. I’ll be so good for you, please.”
Barty chuckled and let out a taunting cooing sound as he fell to his elbows and brought his face to yours.
“There’s no need to beg, sweets.”
And just like that, he was pulling away from you again.
Suddenly, his hands were on your hips and he lifted them into the air, holding them there as he began slamming into you.
“Gonna be so fucking good for me, aren’t you angel?” He grunted.
You scrunched your eyes shut at the feeling of his throbbing cock pounding into you; adjusting his angle every few thrusts in search of something.
“I bet you’re a fucking screamer, huh? You always got so much to say babygirl; don’t go quiet on me now.”
His fingers dug further into the fat of your hips as he adjusted his grip on you, causing you to let out an embarrassing keening sound.
Apparently that was close, but not quite what Barty had been looking for.
“Close. How about we try…”
And he pulled out of you completely before landing a hard smack against your pussy, forcing a surprised scream to tear from your throat.
“There’s the pretty sounds I was looking for.” He celebrated, rubbing placating circles on your clit before repositioning himself and sinking back into you. “Think you can keep that up for me, Princess?”
“Yes!” You cried quickly, grabbing helplessly at the bedding as he once again lifted your hips up into the air, finding that sweet spot inside you that he’d been in search of before his interruption.
He knew he found his mark when you let out another strangled sob.
“Alright pretty girl, there we go, huh? Does that feel good?”
You were babbling affirmatives nonsensically as he groaned at the sensation of your walls clenching around him; yesses and pleases spilling from your lips.
“Fuck you feel so good.”
“Please Barty.” You cried, reaching a hand up to his wrist.
He let your hips fall to the bed as he brought one thumb to your clit and his other hand took yours in his.
“What is it, princess? Hm?”
“Please.” You whined, and it sounded pathetic even in your own ears in your current state.
But Barty only tsked and pulled two of your fingers into his mouth which he began to suck.
You could feel the tension building in your core as he quickened his pace with his thumb and his hips before letting your fingers go with a pop.
“I’ll take care of your princess, you know that. When have I ever let you down?”
Never.
“Never.”
He smiled triumphantly down at you; and though his mouth was cocky, his eyes were sincere.
“Exactly. I’m not about to start now, yeah?”
And suddenly his thumb was gone from your clit, your ankles were thrown over his shoulders and he was leaning his weight against the backs of your thighs as he began thrusting into you with an air of desperation.
“Atta girl; so good, huh? S’good.” He grunted as his thrusts became somewhat sloppy. “S’fuckin’ good for me. Perfect for me, aren’t you?”
“Yes! Yes, yes, yes.” You chanted with each thrust of his hips. “Please, oh gods, please, please Barty.”
“I know, I know.” He grunted, clearly as close to teetering over some sort of edge as you were. “I know, I feel it. You’re alright, yeah? Go on, sweets; I’ve got you.”
And his hands were holding onto your thighs for dear life and he was kissing at your knee like even that silly little part of you was something worthy of worship, and he did have you and he never let you down and he wasn’t going to start now and you saw stars as you finally fell over the edge.
The room fell quiet as Barty locked his lips on yours, and you realised you’d been screaming.
His hips stuttered as he thrust into you once, twice, three times more before he followed you over the edge; letting your legs fall from his shoulders as he fell to his elbows on top of you and the two of you fought to catch your breath.
In complete contrast to the Barty who was only moments ago pounding mercilessly into you, he started placing, slow, lingering, gentle kisses over your face as his thumbs rubbed idly at your temples.
He pressed a kiss to your neck, your jaw, the tip of your nose, over your eyelids, your forehead, your ear.
You knew Barty could have a soft side, but you never imagined it so tender.
“I knew you’d be a screamer.” He whispered, breaking you out of the serene moment and surprising a bark of laughter from you, which caused both of you to groan in discomfort before Barty slowly pulled out of you.
“Stay here, princess.” He instructed as he walked away from the bed and returned a few moments later with a warm cloth and one of his (read: your favourite of his) t-shirts.
You watched him carefully as he cleaned you up - and once again, what probably should have felt awkward or embarrassing felt nothing but natural as he doted on you.
“Can you sit up?” He asked; not one hint of condescension in his tone as he held the neckhole of his shirt open for you to slip your head into.
As it poked through, he pressed a kiss to your lips before helping to thread your arms in.
“Is it safe to assume we’ll be doing that again?” You asked with a smirk, causing him to scoff dramatically.
“We’ll be doing that the rest of our lives if I have anything to say about it.”
After a shower and a change into comfies, the two of you returned to the common room, and though Dorcas was long gone, Evan could be found where the two of you had left him, now in the company of Regulus.
“Well boys.” Barty sang dramatically as he swung his legs over the back of the sofa and landed on the seat with a bounce. “We just fucked.”
You rolled your eyes at his blatant goading as you sat beside him.
“Yeah? And I had potions today; so what?” Regulus muttered without looking up from his novel.
“What do you mean so what? This was the first time!” Barty argued.
“This is new.” You insisted severely.
“You know, I always knew Barty was a liar; but I expected better from you, Y/N.”
Your mouth dropped open as Regulus and Evan stood up and walked away from the seating area.
What you didn’t see as they walked towards the Slytherin dungeons was Regulus passing Evan five Galleons for their bet on who could convince the two of you to finally get over your “just friends” bit.
#marauders era#marauders au#marauders fanfiction#reader insert#self insert#barty#barty crouch jr#barty crouch junior#slytherin skittles#the slytherin skittles#smut#barty crouch jr imagine#barty cr#barty crouch jr x reader#Barty Crouch jr x#barty crouch jr x you#barty crouch jr smut#barty crouch jr drabble#barty crouch jr headcanons#barty gate#if you give the fans a barty#they’re going to ask for smut#ellecdc fics
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"The Runaway Bride" is such an iconic episode, really. It was just Donna in her wedding dress appearing in the TARDIS while the Doctor was in the middle of a heartbreak, and she immediately changed his life, and hers in the process, from the second she started yelling at him to TAKE HER TO THE CHURCH.
This woman came up with a whole variety of pet names for the Doctor in a span of a few hours, some of which (SPACEMAN) would become legendary and character defining and would be remembered fondly by the Doctor.
This episode is full of iconic scenes, like Donna getting kidnapped by a robot Santa and the Doctor trying to save her by encouraging her to jump out of a moving car on a motorway, and while Donna is refusing to jump arguing that she is in her wedding dress, the Doctor's best response is to compliment her look like "girl, you look perfect for a jump out of a moving car on a motorway."
And the next scene on a rooftop solidifies the silly tone of this relationship by the Doctor putting a biodamper ring on Donna's finger cracking a wedding joke, which Donna immediately joins in on.
This scene right there was the start of their friendship and that bond that would last for the rest of their lives. It all started with a robot Santa, a wedding ring and a silly joke which hilariously continued into the next scene with the Doctor and Donna standing under the "Just Married" banner. Comedy gold.
A very underrated moment of the Doctor continuing the affectionate insults tradition between them by calling Donna a 4H pencil, trying to explain to her how she got transported into the TARDIS.
There were these small moments throughout the episode that showed exactly how this friendship of a lifetime started. Like the Doctor taking Donna to see the creation of Earth right after the moment her fiance betrays her and admits he hates and wants to kill her. The Doctor sees all that and tries to distract her by showing her something so extraordinary and beautiful that no other human saw before her. And it works. This woman who has been so unimpressed with him calling him SPACEMAN (derogatory), was now cracking jokes and laughing with the Doctor and very much enjoying his company.
The Doctor and Donna who spent the good portion of the episode trying to get rid of each other, were now ride-or-die besties.
The Spaceman and Earthgirl are now imprinted on each other so much that this little Christmas adventure will become a life changing event and a start of a relationship so meaningful and deep that it will end up changing the Doctor's and Donna's lives fundamentally and save this world and a multitude of others.
The Doctor started the episode with "I don't want you here anyway" and ended it trying to make Donna laugh and making it snow when he heard she didn't like Christmas, and openly telling her he would be lucky to see her again and inviting Donna to come with him.
And Donna who starts the episode yelling at the Doctor and being so unimpressed with him, ends up understanding him on such a deep level and leaving him with the words that he would carry for regenerations to come. And failure to remember these words would lead to the death of this incarnation.
Donna is asking the Doctor to find someone, and she doesn't yet realise that he already found that someone he needs, a platonic soulmate, a friend, a partner, and that someone is her.
"The Runaway Bride" was a start of a many years (for Donna) and many centuries (for the Doctor) road from that rooftop to the garden where they will sit together with a bright shared future ahead. Best mates having the best of times for the rest of their lives. TOGETHER.
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can I ask a blurb of post prison spencer and sunshine reader? She works in the BAU as the media liaison and when she rescues him in the episode 300 he looks at her and is like angel? Am I in Heaven?
spencer reid x sunshine!reader. fluff/hurt/comfort. also angst if you squint. i should’ve just slapped smut in here to make it a quinfecta! 0.5k words. gn!liaison!reader. set during '300'.
a/n: thank you for sending me back into orbit by getting me to rewatch those two episodes. i need spencer reid biblically. unfortunately that's not what this blurb is about. but i was audibly barking every time i pictured him. i am terribly sorry for keeping you on edge about when this was going to be posted </3 i wasn’t sure how happy i was with it for the longest time. thank u for the request ♡
spencer reid who accepted his fate the second he was taken hostage. because honestly, the likelihood of his team finding and rescuing him in time was slim to none, and he had lost wars to hope too many times before.
spencer reid who tried to stall his death with a speech, trying to dull the uncomfortable ache in his chest thinking nobody was coming to save him. maybe he could lie his way into believing his team had found him, and he would picture their faces before he inevitably died.
spencer reid who definitely did not expect the awfully loud gunshot — one, then two — ringing throughout the air, followed by panic and yelling. who wished he could've been relieved to see each face of his team slowly appearing in his view, followed by more gunshots, and the promise that he was safe.
he had already accepted death.
but, spencer reid who's entire facade changed the second you came into view. no gun in hand, because you never were expected to need one, which was even more horrifying to him than the fact that he had been milliseconds away from his own death.
spencer reid who stared at you like he was but a planet and you were the sun he was orbiting, something he knew he'd get teased for later. but right now you were here and he was watching you attempt to unbuckle each leather strap holding his limbs into place, strained laughter escaping him every time you failed because your hands were shaking so hard.
spencer reid who's face fell when you finally met his gaze to get the leather strap holding his head in place, and he could see the tears brimming your eyes and he could hear the sniffles you were intaking to keep your emotions at bay. an achingly painful contrast to the facade he was used to seeing on you.
spencer reid who asked "what's wrong?" and who's heart ached when your response was "i thought i was going to lose you". spencer reid who's heart probably shouldn't have then stuttered like that in his chest at your admission, and he definitely shouldn't have allowed the rush of hope at your words.
but, worse than that, he realised he had accepted his death without thinking, and if he died, he was leaving you and perhaps that was worse than any situation he has been in before, in all fifteen years he's at the bureau.
and you, who's vision was awful from the tears you were attempting to keep at bay, yet you stared at him for a beat, taking in every graze and bruise on his face the best you could to commit them to memory, before wrapping both arms around him and pulling him into you. spencer reid who sobbed in your arms; a scenario you had never even considered the possibility of because spencer reid did not cry anymore, and prison had fractured him in ways you cannot even begin to comprehend. but he was here, and he was crying again, and sad sight or not, he was feeling.
spencer reid who thanked you over and over again for finding him, because no, he really didn't want to die.
your reblogs and replies are always appreciated dearly ♡
#lia’s blurbs ♡#spencer reid#spencer reid fanfic#spencer reid fic#spencer reid imagine#spencer x reader#spencer x self insert#spencer reid x reader#criminal minds#criminal minds fic#criminal minds x reader#criminal minds imagine#spencer reid fanfiction#spencer reid hurt/comfort#spencer reid fluff#spencer reid angst
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Episode 16: Pretty
spencer reid/gn!reader
i realised i’ve done a lot of introspective narratives about Feelings™️ but not a whole lot of interaction so pls have some as a treat ilu🧡
series masterlist
word count: 1.9k // warnings: there is so much pining in here it could be a forest
summary: Late nights in strange towns lead to the most unexpected conversations and confessions.
You can’t sleep.
Sheep have been counted over, and over, and over again and still, it evades you. For a day where you’d been looking forward to nothing more than collapsing into bed at the end of it; you’re not best pleased. It’s a rough case as it is, you don’t want to be sleep deprived on top of everything else. But it just isn’t happening.
You count seventy three individual little swirly panels on the ceiling before you decide to get up. A walk might go a fair way to unravel your nerves enough to get a couple of hours, at least you hope it will.
With your jacket thrown over your old college hoodie, you don’t bother changing your sweatpants for jeans, and just slip your feet into your boots. Garcia would be outraged at the clashing colours. The look won’t win any best dressed awards, but at this time of night you’re more concerned with clipping your holster in place. You’re not taking any chances. Especially not with the victimology of this case - although you do have the advantage of knowing the Unsub is out there somewhere. It’s still not an overly comforting thought. But you’re out of options, it’s this or counting the rest of the ceiling panels and, frankly, you’re sure you’ll go blind if you have to stare at plaster swirls for much longer. So you tuck your phone and room key into your coat pockets, and leave the dingy little room behind for a while.
The hotel is, thankfully, almost completely dead, save for the night manager dozing at the front desk. Faded carpet plush under your feet, you’re quiet as you descend the stairs to the lobby and its dimmed lights. The world is dark outside the front doors and you hesitate. Is it really the best idea? To walk around in a city that’s home to a serial killer whose victims bear a striking resemblance to yourself? No, no it’s not. Especially not at, you tug your phone out of your pocket to check the time - jesus, two o’clock in the morning.
“Hey, you.”
It would honestly be wrong to say you’re not expecting his voice - if you were to guess which of the team would still be up and about at this time of night, you’d pick Spencer. It’s a no-brainer.
“Hey, me. Couldn’t sleep either?” Your smile is more strained than you mean for it to be when you turn it to him in response, he must have just come back, snuck in unnoticed while you were glaring at the time on your phone. He’s similarly dressed, coat huddled around mismatched pyjamas, another victim of case-induced insomnia then. His eyes are tired, they are more often than not these days. Yours aren’t all that better.
There’s a comfortable moment of silence where you just exist together, in the hushed quiet of the hotel lobby. Breathing in the calm of the night. It almost makes up for the chaos you know awaits the team in the morning.
“Is it nice out?” You ask, toeing the carpet with your scuffed boot.
“You’re not going for a walk, are you?”
“I’m armed, genius, and I’m twice as scary as anything out there.”
Spencer just huffs your name through an exasperated sigh and looks at you as you waltz past him with your hands in your pockets, turning at the waist to watch you go.
“So come with me.” There’s the vaguest hint of a teasing smile on your lips as you walk backwards towards to the front doors. He’s still not moved when you spin on your heel to push them open and walk off into the night - but you could live a hundred lives and still know the footsteps that follow you down the concrete steps anywhere.
He’s not exactly intimidating, but having him by your side in the small hours makes you feel safer than the weight of the gun at your hip ever could. You try not to think too hard about what that means.
“How many ceiling panels are in your room?” Your breath puffs out in a cloud, words winding around each other in the chill of the just about morning.
“A hundred and nine, if you count the ones that are cut in half.”
“Damn, I gave up at seventy three.”
“I’m not sure how much I believe that, I’ve never seen you give up on anything.” Spencer kicks a pebble into the road at the same moment your feet stop working.
To think he’s paid enough attention to you to notice a thing like that. Maybe you should expect it, especially being part of the team that studies human behaviour, but it still takes you by surprise. The idea that he could, would want to, notice things about you. It’s borderline dangerous. Stubbornness isn’t cute - you’ve been accused of being like a dog with a bone when it comes to your theories more than once. But the way he says it so casually yet so reverently, like it’s something to be proud of, like it’s something he admires. You just about manage to get your legs to cooperate before he can realise you’ve fallen a step behind.
He offers his elbow to you, an uncharacteristic first move, and you almost don’t know what to make of it. Spencer doesn’t initiate contact, ever. Or at least, you’ve never known him to unless it’s to check your tac-vest, and yet here he is. Hands in his pockets, sticking his arm out for you to take. You’re sliding your own arm through his before you even really realise it. Well, it would be rude not to wouldn’t it? When he’s offered so kindly?
In the name of safety, presumably. When there’s a killer on the loose and you just so happen to fit the victimology. Keeping you close is a precaution. You steer the conversation towards the case, if neither of you are resting then you might as well be trying to unravel the latest psycho’s motivations. Another precaution, although a little selfish this time around, to save your heart from falling even further for the man beside you.
“Statistically, people who are attractive are targeted more often that those who aren’t. This Unsub isn’t exactly going against the grain, he’s picking pretty victims.” He rattles off the thought as though it doesn’t threaten to stop your heart in your chest.
It was Spencer who’d pointed out the striking similarities between you and the victims in the first place.
“Doctor Reid, do you think I’m pretty?” Your scandalised gasp matches the hands you press against your chest in faux-shock. And, for once in his life, he doesn’t seem to have any words. He just stands there beside you, gulping like a fish. You like him too much to leave him squirming any longer than he already has.
“I, uh-“ He scrambles for a response.
“Because you’d be right, I am pretty.”
The answering chuckle you get is enough to encourage you to link your arm back through his.
“What you’re saying is,” You press on, shaking off the moment, giving him the time to recover, “There’s no shock factor. Single bullet to the head, dumped unceremoniously with the trash. There’s nothing that says ‘hey look at me’ about this guy.”
Spencer hums in agreement, suddenly very interested in his shoes as they traipse along the drizzle dampened pavement beside yours, and the conversation lulls. But you don’t mind. It’s never an uncomfortable silence with him, it never has been. You’re both more than content to just exist in the same space together - his is a calming presence, for all his nervous energy. There’s never any expectation to be anyone but yourself when you’re around him, no judgement, no pressure.
You’re more than happy to trundle along beside him between the streetlights, dodging puddles, the weight of your linked arms nestled comfortably between you. Except, you’re a profiler. So, for all his valiant efforts to keep your suspicions to a minimum, they’re just not quite effective enough. One glance at his face confirms that he’s thinking far too hard about something. You let your shoulder knock into his, your elbow in his side jolting him out of his thoughts.
“You’re doing it again.” It almost feels blasphemous to disturb the peace that’s settled over you.
Spencer releases his lip from between his teeth.
“There’s something we’re missing.”
“We’ll find it. With fresh eyes in the morning, I bet it smacks us right in the face.”
He doesn’t look like he believes you, and you’d have to agree with him there, but the furrow of his brow relaxes at your gentle reassurance. That’s enough for the moment.
A car door slams up the street and makes you both jump. For all the security the gun at your hip awards you, you’re still a little on edge. It’s just you, Spencer, and the door-slammer on the street - though the stranger seems to be so absorbed in his own world that he barely registers the pair of you. While you’re both fairly confident that the man walking towards you isn’t the Unsub, Spencer tugs you closer into his side by your linked arms all the same. He makes sure he’s solid where he stands between you and the passing stranger, even though you both know he wouldn’t stand a chance in that fight with his lanky frame. There isn’t a bit of you that minds the protection. Something catches in your chest, blooming, warming you from the inside out. It’s dangerous.
You’re not sure when you looped back onto yourselves, but the shadow of the hotel looms and suddenly there’s plush carpet under your feet again. Part of you is glad that your chances to embarrass yourself tonight are numbered. He’d be kind enough not to point it out if you did, though.
The elevator is too close to the front doors, there aren’t enough storeys to pass to get to the floor commandeered by the team, and your rooms are the first in the hallway. Doors opposite each other, the irony of the parallel isn’t lost on you. But it’s so rare that you get to spend time with him without any external pressures of a case or the prying eyes of more than a few colleagues. It feels a little unfair that the time has gone so quickly - an hour, your phone confirms when the screen lights up as you fish around in your pocket for your room key. There’s that pang in your chest again, the one that makes you feel like an impatient child. You know you can’t have him the way you want, you know why you can’t, you know it would probably end in heartbreak for everyone. But god, do you want him. It’d be worth every painful second.
Spencer’s voice across the hall stops your hand, room card outstretched halfway to the scanner in your fingers.
“For the record, I do.”
He’s chewing his lip again.
“You do what?”
You know what he means. He knows you know what he means. But neither of you will admit to it out loud. So it just hangs there, in the air between you, as you stand in front of your respective hotel room doors for a moment longer. And then he’s in his room, and you’re swiping your own keycard through the slot, and you’re shut away again. No less wired than you were when you left - but it’s hard to find it in yourself to worry about the sleep you definitely won’t be getting tonight, there’s no doubt about that.
Because Spencer Reid thinks you’re pretty.
if you’re reading this then thank you i love you i owe you my life i can’t wait to put these guys in more situations 🧡🧡🧡
#i rly thought i was gonna get this posted on friday and then decided i hated half of it huh#i still don’t know if i like chunks of this BUT we move#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid x you#criminal minds#the canyouniverse#lou is writing
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Oh oh oh Hotch walking in on a sweet little moment between Jack and reader and he just MELTS when he realises how much he loves them both??💗💗 (pls, only if it inspires you lovely!!)
ty for your request! fem, 1k
“Well, I liked it. I thought it was cool.”
Hotch puts his keys in the bowl. “It is cool,” Jack says. It's good to hear his voice after so long away. Jack's not often talkative. “It is.”
“Thank you, Jack.” There's a gap where Hotch can't see anything, peering around the door to the kitchen. He's too far away. “You're such a nice boy. You know that?” you ask.
You and Jack are talking in the unhurried tones of people close to one another. Hotch has to strain to hear it clearly. “You think so?”
“I do. You're really, always nice to me. You're brave and smart, Jack, but what I love about you the most is how nice you are. How kind.”
“Thank you.”
“You're welcome.” Hotch can see the look on your face in his mind, the softening of your eyes and the small smile. “Do you think you're nice?”
“Yes!” A small giggle echoes off of the kitchen tiles. “I'm nice. But I want to be brave more.”
“Yeah? It's a really great thing to be so nice. To be patient with people, and to be forgiving, that's its own kind of bravery, because it can be hard.”
“It's easy.”
“I'm glad you think so.” Hotch walks further down the hall and finally spots you. You're sitting on the kitchen floor together with one of Jack's long paper rolls spooled from the door to the cabinets. Jack lays on his stomach with a red marker in his hand, staring at you with wide eyes as you draw. Hotch can't see your face, but he hears your smile. “I love you, Jack.”
“I love you too… thanks for drawing with me.”
“I love drawing with you. Maybe I should say thanks to you for doing all the best ones.”
Jack laughs with the shaken-soda quality only little kids can reach. It immediately gets you laughing, and that combined makes Hotch chuckle. Your heads turn together quickly, Jack's with excitement and yours surprise. “Hi, daddy!”
“Hi, buddy.”
“You're home early?” Jack asks.
Hotch steps carefully over the mess of pending and paper, sitting cross-legged at Jack's side. Jack smiles and tips into Hotch's lap without getting up, a flop of limbs into starched pants. Hotch hugs him in similar limbless fashion.
“Home for two days, at least.” He presses his lips to Jack's ear, speaking softly. “So I hope you saved some room for me on that paper.”
“I did! Do you want your pyjamas? We've been wearing our pyjamas all day. We had pizza for breakfast.”
“Jack!” You cover your face. “Jack, that was our secret, oh,” —you part your fingers— “Aaron, I'm sorry, I know he shouldn't lie to you, and I know I shouldn't give him junk but he was asking so nicely and I really didn't wanna make oatmeal.”
Jack runs away with another bout of giggles, knowing he's entrapped you.
“You know I don't care,” Hotch says, giving you an easy smile.
“Yeah, but… I'm supposed to be a good role model,” you say, offering a small smile in return. It half knocks the air from his lungs.
He reaches across the drawing chaos to touch your face with his thumb. Your cheek is soft. The little wrinkle by your mouth deepens with your smiling, and the incremental weight of your head tilting into his hand is a feeling he can't get enough of.
“I heard you talking,” he says.
“What were we saying?”
“About how he's kind.” He cups your cheek. “I missed you both so much. It's… amazing to be home.”
He knows you like this more than kissing, sometimes. It isn't hard to hold you like you mean everything to him, to caress your skin with a gentle fingertip, drawing a line along the curve of your neck. Your pupils grow to black dimes, and your breathing slows.
“I missed you too, Agent. We missed you, we've been trying to think of new games to keep busy. See, we're drawing us in different jobs.”
He's going to look just as soon as he gets enough of you, his thumb pressing circles into your skin.
“Did you frown a lot while you were away?” you ask in a whisper.
“Can you tell?”
“A little bit,” you say, still whispering as you lift your hand. You rub the line between his brows. “Should I kiss it away?”
Jack runs back in with Hotch's pyjamas in his arms, a grey shirt and dark blue pants. “Kiss what?”
“My wrinkles,” Hotch says.
“His frowny face.”
Jack wraps his arms over Hotch's shoulders, almost choking him with the pyjamas. “I'll do it! I will.”
“Alright, buddy. Fix me up, okay? I can only smile for the next couple of days.”
Hotch gets a face full of kisses and a great long hug to round it out, Jack in his lap. You're sketching something as they hug but he can't see what until Jack settles, and when he does, he laughs so hard he almost knocks Jack back out of his lap.
Jack Hotchner, professional frown remover, you've captioned. Jack stands tall and smiling with a love heart on his shirt, his felt marker outlines sewn with care. Aaron Hotchner stands next to him, professional frowner.
Hotch immediately pesters Jack into giving him the right pens for his own turn. He doesn't caption it, unsure what job he'd label either of you with, but it's clear what he's getting at with speech bubbles full of smiley faces.
He thinks he might remember your conversation forever without it, but the drawing serves as a nice memento. He only wishes he were a better artist.
#aaron hotchner x reader#aaron hotchner x you#aaron hotchner x y/n#aaron hotchner#aaron hotchner fic#aaron hotchner blurb#aaron hotchner drabble#aaron hotchner imagine#aaron hotchner fanfic#aaron hotchner fanfiction#hotch x reader#hotch#hotch x you#hotch blurb#hotch drabble
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POLY MARAUDERS | HEROES IN TATTOOS PART 4
04 : DISAPPEAR
SUM. : you find out the truth about the boys' relationship
REQUEST. : this might be a dumb question but are the marauders also all in a poly relationship with each other? if so, i'd love one where the reader finally has that realisation and gets all blushy and starts to consider if they'd ever want to include her —@thepunisherfrankcastle
TAGS. : modern au ; muggle au ; tattoo artist james ; tattoo artist sirius ; piercer remus ; only slight fluff ; mostly angst ; im so sorry ; reader finds out the truth ; but not really in the best way ; major misunderstanding trope ; sirius isn't a bad person! ; poly relationship revealed ; yay? ; distance ; walking away trope-ish ; james is precious ; remus trying to make the hard decisions ; our boys need a hug ; wolfstar ; starchaser ; angst angst angst ; im sorry im sorry im sorry!
LENGTH : 5.2k
← PREV. : 03 | GROCERIES
Hearing James giggling fills your chest with warmth and is so contagious that you have to bite your lip so as not to join him. He sees your resistance and moves his hand, making you freeze up and stop all movement. His index finger curls under your chin to lift your gaze as his thumb settles on your bottom lip and slowly draws it out from the press of your upper teeth.
“I can’t be the only one laughing, angel,” on his face is an innocent smile but you know he’s devilish — the raging fire he lights up inside you with the smooth delivery of his simple statement is evidence enough that he’s up to no good.
His light grasp offers barely any resistance when you lift your chin away, “that’s because I’m not ticklish like you,”
“Hey now,” he warns firmly but you can see the mutual playfulness reflecting clearly in his hazel eyes, it was like staring into clear honey, “you’re the one who’s colouring in my tattoo like a toddler,”
“I was bored,” you defend a little too quickly, getting huffy and exaggerating a pitiful pout. It was… a sight, James admits in his head; you look adorable like this and he wants to frame the image in his memory forever, “and besides, you agreed to it,”
“Yeah, so don’t tease me about being ticklish,” his hand reaches up to play with a strand of your hair before he leans down to press a kiss onto your forehead, where you feel his mischievous smile lift up the corner of his lips, “instead, tell me how much you love to hear my laugh,”
There’s no way you’ll ever admit that. Not to his face, at least…
“Woah, comfy are we?~” came the familiar teasing voice of Sirius, who walks into the room and almost has his eyes bulging out at the sight of you and James, “you lucky bastard, Prongs,” Sirius clicks his tongue but there’s no malice in his eyes or tone, “shirtless, all relaxed and cool, leaning back into the sofa with our doll on your lap and colouring in your tats,” your cheeks heat up under your skin when a shameless expression takes over James’s face and he sends a wink over at his fellow tattooist.
“I guess I saved the universe in a past life,” James chuckles, receiving an eye roll in return.
“And you, princess,” Sirius whistles playfully and leans down to kiss the crown of your head, “how lucky you are to have such well-sculpted muscles and a handsome face entertaining you,” the heat on your cheeks continue to blossom, “I don’t know who I’m more jealous of,”
That was the first time you were hinted at Sirius’s dichotomy. Between the wink he sends James and the satisfied grin the glasses-wearing brunette returns, you felt a slight shaking in your heart that you couldn’t quite place.
It didn’t feel bad… but it didn’t feel good either…
After the first homemade lunch you made for them, you’ve gotten into the habit of regularly visiting the boys at the shop with boxed lunches whenever time nears noon. They often insisted that the first surprise lunch was enough thanks.
“It’s really okay for you not to do this, dove,” Remus voices, slowly trailing off as he leans forward to wipe a stray crumb off the side of James’ mouth with his thumb, only to lick the crumb he wiped off without batting an eye. James pays him no mind either and continues savouring your cooking; he was always the one person who devoured your food as if he was a starved man being fed for the first time.
“But–” you quickly protest, trying to dismiss the small gesture between the two, “but I enjoy cooking for you,”
“And we’re very grateful,” Sirius smiles warmly at you and takes your hand to press a kiss against your knuckles, “but your company is enough,” ever the flatterer and flirt, you resist the butterflies in your stomach from his gesture and words.
“And we feel guilty that you have to buy and cook all this food,” Remus adds but you assure them one more time.
“I promise I’ll stop if it ever gets too hard or burdensome but, for now, please let me do it…” the boys look at each other and smile following a unanimous sigh of defeat. You weren’t aware of the effect your soft pleas and pretty eyes had on them. Of course, they couldn’t say ‘no’ and agreed, satisfied with your pledge for the meantime.
“Ugh! These cookies are amazing!” James praises, completely oblivious to the interaction you had with Remus and Sirius. He looks up and the three of you have to suppress your laughter at his childish appearance, crumbs surrounding his mouth as his cheeks puffed out from the food he still had to chew.
“Swallow your food first, James,” Remus reminds, which James quickly does before addressing you again.
“Can you please teach me?” James leans forward in earnest and you swear there are stars in his eyes, “please teach me how to make them so I can have them all the time. I’m an expert at making fruit tarts now but Moony and Padfoot are sick and tired of me making just fruit tarts,”
You were flattered but…“I want them to stay special though,” you pout softly, “I want to be the only person who bakes them for you,”
Before James could answer, Sirius breaks out into peels of laughter, “you don’t have to worry about that, doll,” he winks at you and side-eyes James with a smirk, “James sucks ass in the kitchen, especially when it comes to baking,” James shouts in protest but is swamped by the laughter shared between you, Remus and Sirius. Nevertheless, you finally agreed to teach him just so he stops pouting… even if he looked cute doing so.
That Saturday, you were at their apartment, eager to teach James the secrets to your baking creations. Their flat was sizable and still relatively clean, which you verbally praise and are clued into all of their cleaning habits in more detail. It appears that they have a pretty good system going on that keeps things neat; Remus handles the organisation of all items and keeps stock on most things, Sirius proactively keeps all spaces clean and James loves doing laundry. When asked, he said that the main reason was because he liked the smell of clean sheets, which you couldn’t really blame him for. Together, their good habits cumulatively result in a tidy space and you were impressed; not only were they great friends but they functioned well together too. In some ways, you were envious of that.
When you arrived at the apartment, the boys had all of the ingredients you sent over on a list laid out on their kitchen counters, ready to be put together and baked into your famous cookies.
“Do you two want to join us?” you ask with a smile as James helped you into Sirius’ apron, tying up the strings behind you.
“We’re good, darling,” Sirius smiles and offers to tie up your hair as James slips into his apron. You don’t deny his assistance and hand him over your hair tie as Remus observes the scene with a soft smile, leaning against the door frame that leads into the kitchen.
As much as Sirius and Remus disparaged James’ abilities to bake in the kitchen, he, once again, proved them wrong. He did pretty well with following your instructions and getting things done if you discounted the times he got distracted and had to pull you away from the work as well, just to share in the fun. The last time you baked together was a lot of fun and you were just as eager to get back into the kitchen with him in order to experience that joy all over again. Like last time, Sirius and Remus occupied the living room while you and James got to making the cookie dough before eventually baking the cookies. With the timer set, it won’t be too long before you’re happily serving everyone yours and James’ baked cookies with some tea and coffee.
“It’s just down the hall,” James points out, directing you to their bathroom, “it’s the last door on your right,” with a quick word of thanks, you make your way out to relieve yourself while James gets started on clean up duty. You promised not to be too long so he didn’t have to clean all by himself but he just laughed it off and assured you to take all the time you need — ever the sweetheart.
Your mood was light and happy and, like all other times you spent with the boys, it felt as if you were walking on air… that is, until you weren’t. From the corner of your eye, when passing the living room doorway, your heart came to a stuttering stop at the scene you happened upon.
Seated on the sofa was Remus with Sirius’ laid down, his head on the tall brunette’s lap. It would have been a scene you could have easily shrugged off if it weren’t for Remus bending down so that the two could share a loving kiss. One that had Sirius running his fingers through Remus’ light brown hair, who returned the touch by tenderly gripping at Sirius’ thigh with a spare hand. You would have remained frozen there, like some petrified statue, if Sirius didn’t hum pleasantly only to have Remus chuckle against his lips.
Hurrying to the bathroom, you struggle to get the scene out of your head as your heart breaks over and over again until the stinging pain in your chest dulls into a throbbing ache.
If they were in a loving relationship then you were happy for them, truly…you were; they always looked so content and at bliss around each other, you felt stupid for not having put the puzzle pieces together yourself. It was just conflicting as to why they never hesitated to establish some sort of distance with you when they already had one another. They were together romantically and yet they were able to press loving kisses against your temple and wrap their arms around you with their loved one standing close by?...
“There you are,” James chuckles when you finally make it back into the kitchen, “I was starting to get worried that you somehow got lost on your way to the bathroom,” it was a weak attempt but you joined his laughter without offering to explain your whereabouts. Turning back to the sink, James returns to washing the dishes as you wordlessly get to wiping down the surfaces. He doesn’t appear to notice your sudden change in mood or, at least, he doesn’t let on that he knows; soon enough, he’s yapping away again, being his usual goofy self and drawing a smile from you. He almost makes you forget. You could always count on James to be your ray of sunshine; a happy bug who was eager to spread his contagious joy.
Sirius and Remus were a… surprise, although you really should have known better than to not suspect anything. They’re happy though, and you’re happy for them; that’s what matters.
It was hard to gauge whether or not you should confront them about the revelation you had about their relationship. You had to thoroughly think it over…
There had to be a reason behind why Remus and Sirius didn’t want to tell you about their relationship and managed to get James in on it too. It must have been a very good reason. So you can’t fault them and resolve to stay silent on the matter. Their privacy needs to be respected; they’ll tell you when they’re ready, you’re sure of it. For now, you just have to act normal, as if nothing happened. The only problem was that you were left to wonder…
Why haven’t they told you? Is it awkward for them? Maybe they didn’t trust you enough? Did they think you were homophobic?— You’re not! You fully support all types of love in all its forms and would never be prejudicial towards them because they preferred the same gender. Or maybe they did trust you but the right time just never came up? That’s also plausible. They probably just need time…yeah! Time, you can give them that; you’re a very patient person, after all—
“—Dove?”
“H-huh?” you blink rapidly, returning to the present as Remus tilts his head at you curiously.
“Are you okay?” there’s an amused smirk painted across his lips as he eyes you up and down, “What’s going on in that pretty head of yours?” his warm voice is like a comforting hug on an autumn day, one that makes you want to lose all thoughts and melt into his arms.
“Y-yeah!” you chirp as embarrassment begins to creep in, “Sorry about that,” he laughs with you, “I guess I got distracted,” Remus nods, understanding in his eyes as he turns to the clock on the office wall.
“The both of us have been at it for a while,” he hums when reading the time, “I think we deserve a break,”
“Snack run?”
Seeing the delight in your eyes, Remus laughs and presses a kiss to your temple. It takes everything in you not to lean away out of respect for Sirius —you still need to act as normal as possible so you don’t draw attention but it’s getting harder and harder to do so, “snack run,” he confirms, his gaze lingering on your tight-lipped smile. It’s an awkward tilt of your lips and it doesn’t belong on your usually soft and brightly beaming features, Remus thinks to himself. He wants to ruminate on it’s appearance further but files away his thoughts for another day, “let me tidy up here first and I’ll meet you out front,”
Nodding stiffly, you hurry to leave and get to the front of the parlour, where you can safely catch your breath. There, you can recalibrate your thoughts and feelings from a safe distance—
Your gradually slowing thoughts come to a grinding halt as you pass.
What did you just see?...
Angling yourself carefully and peeking through the crack of the door, you resist the urge to gasp in horror. In an otherwise empty tattoo room, Sirius sits in his tech chair and angles himself upwards as James stands and leans down to meet the former in a sweet kiss.
Scandalised, you cover your mouth and step away from the door, suppressing a scream as racing thoughts pour into your head.
SiriusIsCheatingOnRemusWithJames!SiriusIsCheatingOnRemusWithJames!SiriusIsCheatingOnRemusWithJames!SiriusIsCheatingOnRemusWithJames!SiriusIsCheatingOnRemusWithJames!SiriusIsCheatingOnRemusWithJames!SiriusIsCheatingOnRemusWithJames!SiriusIsCheatingOnRemusWithJames!SiriusIsCheatingOnRemusWithJames!SiriusIsCheatingOnRemusWithJames!SiriusIsCheatingOnRemusWithJames!SiriusIsCheatingOnRemusWithJames!
All breath escapes you and the world begins to spin. The charming, loyal and honest character of Sirius that you’ve built up in your head breaks apart and you’re left spiralling at the implications of his betrayal. You feel like crying and vomiting and throwing a rage-filled fit all at the same time! Wait! —No! It’s not about what you want to do it’s about what you need to do and that’s to—
It was then that you hear Remus walking down the steps behind you. Your heart jumps in your chest and your stomach caves in on itself. Leaning forward, you peek through the crack in the open door again and find Sirius carefully prepping his tools for a later appointment while James is against one wall on the other side of the room, checking something on the computer.
Good… Remus doesn’t have to see anything… you think to yourself, although the thought alone makes your heart break all over again.
“Ready to go?” Remus asks, approaching you with a lifted brow of curiosity. He’s probably wondering why you haven’t made it to the front of the parlour yet.
“I-I was just thinking!…uhh,” you bite your lip and try to keep your rising panic from reflecting in your eyes.
“Hmm?”
“I don’t really want to go on a snack run,”
“Oh?” Remus didn’t even try to hide his surprise, it wasn’t like you to not go on a snack run — so much for wanting to act normal… “How come?”
“I just remembered something-!” it was a lame excuse but you could kill two birds with one stone through this, it’ll be worth it, “-something I wanted to talk to Sirius about—”
“You called?~” speak of the devil and he shall appear. Upon hearing his name, Sirius pulls open the door and flashes his usual charming smile, which only draws a chilling glare from you. Caught off-guard, Sirius blinks in surprise, “What’s the matter, dollface?”
A taunting whistle floats through the air from behind him as James steps up and eyes your unusually angry expression, “what did you do this time, Pads?”
“I-I don’t know…” his normally confident, unwavering voice stutters and is offered cautiously, almost scared despite the tattooist standing a good few inches taller than you.
Finding some confidence, you square your shoulders and address Remus again but keep your glare focused on Sirius, “Why don’t you and James go on a snack run while I talk to Sirius?” you almost snap out the cheater’s name from spite. You can’t believe you ever deluded yourself into thinking he was a good person that could do no wrong. He’s charmed you, Remus and James, tricked all three of you and you weren’t going to stand for it.
The two boys jokingly wish their friend ‘good luck’ as they walk past and head out, promising to get his favourites so he can nurse his wounds from the verbal beat-down he was about to receive with something yummy. It’s clear that James and Remus don’t really believe you’re capable of delivering much vengeance or rage but the fire in your eyes tells Sirius otherwise. As soon as the front door closes behind the two, you push Sirius back into the private tattoo room before he could utter a single word.
“You need to explain yourself, Sirius Orion Black and you need to do it now!” you demand, your voice harsh and biting, something you’ve never done in front of the boys before and catches the traitor, in your eyes, by complete surprise. Sirius doesn’t know what he’s done but he already feels incredible guilt and sorrow over it. He’s never wanted to draw out such a horrid emotion out of you; you’re only allowed to feel happiness and love and comfort. Not this. Never this…
“I-I don’t understand, princess—” he reaches for you but you step away from his touch, your piercing glare and obvious rejection stabbing a knife through his chest. You’ve never pulled away from his reach before, he’s not used to this. What did he do? He would take it all back, whatever he did, if it meant that you would lean into his touch again rather than pull away. He’d do anything to quash the evident flames of rage in your eyes. What did he do?... What did he do goddamnit?!
“I saw it! I saw everything! You’re playing both of them!” you shout, your rage lashing out and scorching him with their intense heat. There was no holding you back, you told him everything, about how you saw his kiss with Remus and James. His eyes widen in shock before filling with horror, which does nothing but corroborate your heart breaking revelations, “I don’t want to believe it! How could you do this to them, Siri?...” your shouting voice slowly quietens and tapers off at the end, quivering like a shaken autumn leaf. So heartbroken over the fact, your rage quickly turns into sorrow and tears quickly fill your eyes, “You’re better than that, I know you are!” and you really do. No matter how betrayed you feel and having witnessed the evidence first hand, you cling onto the little slither of faith you still had in Sirius, “Please tell them the truth, they deserve the truth… they deserve you being forthcoming with them because they’re good guys,”
Looking on at you, Sirius feels his heart break. This misunderstanding was tearing you up inside and, although it makes him happy to know that you would confront him and be angry for the boys at his supposed betrayal, watching you break down, and sob uncontrollably made Sirius’ heart twist and clench uncomfortably— painfully so.
Without a word, he reaches out again and is able to bring you into his arms. You don’t return the gesture but you make no effort to push him away either.
“Shhh Shhh Shhhhhh, darling…” Sirius whispers comfortingly, softly patting your hair as he waits for your sobbing to calm down enough for him to come clean. Scrap the plan, whatever bullshit plan they came up with to slowly ease you into accepting their relationship before selfishly asking for your love as well. He wasn’t going to let you continue misunderstanding their relationship, especially when it’s causing you so much pain, “...this is all a big misunderstanding…” he begins softly once your cries were finally reduced to soft sniffles, “do you know what polyamory is, sweetheart?”
“...n-no…”
“It’s when more than two people agree to be in a loving, romantic relationship with each other, all at the same time,” he explains in the same soft voice, his arms never pulling away from you as he feels you slowly lose your grip on resistance.
“Is…is that…”
“Yes, that’s the relationship James, Remus and I are all a part of…” he looks down with a gentle smile and watches you peek up at him curiously. Sirius resists the urge to swoop down and pepper your face with kisses. Just when he thought his love for you couldn’t grow any bigger, here you were being the sweetest, most caring and lovable little thing he’s ever laid eyes on.
However, you slowly begin to shake your head and the resistance in your eyes and expression returns. This time you push him away and keep him at arm's reach. Like a scared prey animal being cornered by a predator, you inch your way back until you're pressing yourself against the wall beside the door. It takes Sirius two steps forward to finally stop and keep his place so that you don’t feel pushed or stressed by his presence.
“I-I won’t believe you until James and Remus say so…”
He shrugs and gives you a pained smile. He supposes he can’t blame you for being cautious and not believing him, he’s the apparent ‘cheater’, afterall.
You watch Sirius part his lips to voice something when you hear the parlour door open and rush into the hallway to see James and Remus walk in. The two were grinning cheekily at each other and their arms were piled high with an assortment of snacks. They held true to their promise; you could spot many of Sirius’ favourites among the pile and it made your stomach twist uncomfortably.
As soon as the two look up and see your dishevelled form, your eyes pink and tearful, your bottom lip wobbling from restrained cries and your frame closed up like a frightened clam, the snacks are carelessly disregarded and they rush to your side.
“Dove?” Remus calls, worry evident in his voice as he steals a glance at Sirius over your trembling shoulder. The response he was given — tight lips, drawn into a straight line and unreadable eyes — wasn’t enough, however and his chocolate pools hardened into brown stone. What. Did. You. Do?... Remus silently interrogated the tattooist.
“What happened, angel?” James immediately wraps his arms around you and you almost melt into his hold if it weren’t for your need to clarify everything dominating your thoughts.
“Are you and Remus in a relationship with Sirius?” your hesitant voice, small and fraying at the edges, speaks up but barely above a whisper. The two men visibly stiffen beside you and you feel a well of tears quickly building up again; your thoughts immediately jumping to the worst possible outcome.
“Tell her the truth. Give her peace of mind, lads,” Sirius speaks up, his own voice lacking its usual confidence and was reduced to a vulnerable softness.
“Yes,” Remus affirms after a beat of silence.
“We’re all consenting, we all love each other, mutually!” James pipes up, his tone bordering on defensive despite not knowing what he’s their relationship defending from, “You…you don’t think of us differently do you?”
“No! No no no! Of course not,” you quickly elucidate your thoughts, your shoulders relaxing as you turn and meet eyes with Sirius, mustering a small smile, “it’s actually quite a relief,”
Grinning softly, Sirius steps up to explain the situation, “Dollface over here thought that I was cheating on you and James with each other, Rem,” he chuckles softly, amusement in his eyes though it still lacked their full brightness, “she gave me a good shouting to and looked like she was ready to bite my head off if I didn’t ‘come clean’ to both of you,” Remus laughs and pulls Sirius into a sideways hug as James coos lovingly at you.
“You got angry for us, angel?” James presses his face into your hair and nuzzles you affectionately, “you’re the sweetest~” he coos, his smirk growing as he feels an embarrassed heat radiating off your cheeks.
“St-stop the James,” you whine with an awkward smile and wiggle yourself out of his arms, avoiding his pouting lips because you know your resolve will melt away at the sight. It was confirmed. They were in a relationship, all three of them, with each other. You should be happy that Sirius wasn’t a cheater and still the wonderful man you saw him to be. But, no matter how happy you were for them, the twisting of your stomach and the gaping hole in your heart wasn’t easily fixable.
The following weeks, you maintained the friendship you had with the boys, who no longer felt the need to limit their intimate touches around you. However, whenever they tried to initiate affection with you, as per usual, once the innocent kiss on the temple and harmless hug was now fervently being rejected by you and pushed away. You had no intention of disrespecting their relationship, even if most acts of affection you exchanged as friends were innocuous. But, then again, it was also your way of protecting your already shattered heart. Yes, you could just stay away from them entirely but you had built such a strong friendship with them that it didn’t feel right to candidly pretend that you’ve never met them before. It’ll do more harm than the harm you were inflicting now…
Ever the observant man that he was, Remus knew the instant reason behind your hesitation and was quick to reassure you the next time you were invited over for tea.
“It’s really okay, sweetheart,” the tall brunette hums softly as James and Sirius agree from their own seats, “we’re okay with it and you aren’t going to come in between any of us, I promise you,”
Stubbornly, you shake your head, pulling a deep frown from all of them.
“Are you not comfortable with it?” James asks with uncertainty, his question and its potential implication is filled with enough dread to make even his two lovers stiffen up.
You nod your head ‘yes’ and they slump in their rejection. It hurt to know that the revelation of their relationship had pushed you away when the basic nature of their affair meant more love for everyone. And they wanted it to include you… Their romance that led to such an abundance of love and promises of more was now paradoxically pushing you away. For once, they didn’t know what to do, not a single one of them could come up with any idea to resolve the ever-growing tension in your relationship. It was a rubber band ready to snap.
“If you’re uncomfortable then we’ll respect that and keep our distance, touch-wise” Remus surrenders despite the heartbreak it gives him while Sirius shoots up and sends him an irate glare, one that Remus coldly returns. It wasn’t a question of their comfortability but yours, Sirius needed to regard that to the highest degree and Remus was all too ready to make him face the music. They can’t afford to lose you and if it meant that he needed to make the hard decisions then so be it.
“Thank you,”
“...do you not want to be around us anymore?” James speaks up, not necessarily taking things to their extremes but rather potential, future escalations. He’s seen it. In the days and weeks that followed the divulgence of their true relationship, bit by bit you have begun to pull away from them to the point where James can vividly see where the escalation of your behaviour will lead and it’s frightening. One day, you’ll just disappear and that terrifies him.
“No no…” your weak defence, lacking true resolve, ignites a shock of terrorising fear in all three of them, their eyes shaking with trepidation. But you couldn’t see it because you couldn’t look at them, like a coward. Because that’s what you are — a coward. The heartbreak was chipping away at you. You thought you would be brave enough to see them happy together but you couldn’t. Because, not only were you a coward, but you were selfish too. Green with envy, you stewed in that awful, stomach-twisting, heart-aching, bitter-tasting, gut-wrenching feeling each time you saw every loving kiss, affectionate cuddle and sweetly whispered words.
Throughout your friendship you grew to love each of them as more than a simple friend. You know it was wrong but they were all so charming in their own, unique way. They treated you sincerely, cared for you without any sinister, ulterior motives and they’ve successfully wormed their way into your life and heart, permanently.
What was once something that brought you such joy, warmth and feelings of safety was now mercilessly ripping you apart.
Their dynamic looked different to you now that you were looking through a different lens. They weren’t just close friends anymore, they were very much in love and have been romantically involved for a few years now — it was one of the first things you found out about their relationship. Its longevity was a testament to their unwavering love for each other and here you were, secretly, selfishly and salaciously hoping for your own slice of the love pie.
How dare you…
Just because you’ve had such bad luck with love didn’t mean you had the right to wish for something that couldn’t possibly become yours. You have no right to ask them for love when they are completely content with their own.
“Please don’t push us away, dollface,” Sirius begs softly, his steel grey eyes melting into a pool of mercury. Beautiful but poisonous. Something you want but can’t have.
“I’m sorry,” you’re breathless when you see the genuine fear in their eyes and turn away from the sight. This isn’t the time to turn weak at the knees, “it’s getting pretty late, I should go,” shouldering your bag, you get up and rush to leave their flat.
“Stay,” Remus half commands and half begs, almost stopping you in your tracks, “please stay… we need to talk to you about something important,” if there was any time for them to reveal the truth, it was now. Before they lose you, before they drown themselves in regret, before they fall into a pit of despair, before they—
“I’m sorry…” you repeat and, just as James feared, you disappear.
A/N : this took such a long while to write but i wanted it to be perfect, thank you so much for requesting this darling @thepunisherfrankcastle it fit perfectly into the plot although i did make some slight altercations to your request. unfortunately, there's still more to go after this so i'm going to have to leave you darlings with a cliffhanger, look out for part 5! (˵ •̀ ᴗ - ˵ ) ✧
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NAVI. | HEROES IN TATTOOS M.LIST
TAGLIST : @melinajenkins @aastonishment @until-i-found-you @corp0real @sageskisses444 @celestcies @lovelydoveval @inlovewithremusjohnlupin @calums-betch @futurecorps3 @hihihi1112 @simpingforthe80s @yrluvjane @chaosofmanyfandoms @storyofaromance @loving-and-dreaming @somewereinthegalaxi @ashreblogsficshere @cassandra-nerezza-black @stray-bi-kids @ttkttt @notasadgirlipromise @ghostgardn @mess-is-my-aesthetic @susyelectra @fangirlninja67 @pagesfalling @thepunisherfrankcastle @axeofwars @imarimon @in-love-with-4-marauders @chicken-taco-burrito @valencia-rou @feast0nmeee @lestat-whore @hvmxjjk @twilightlover2007 @diaryofabiwoman @woohoney @celestialfantasiess @willbedecided @lovelyygirl8 @iiirhiane-g @mangodamochiii @queerqueenlynn @l3xiluve @brain-has-left @bunbunbl0gs @kneelforloki @citrusiove @virtualbuni @awkward-d3rs3-dr3amer @that1nerd-20 @wolfstar4everbitches @skepvids @dearmy-diary @littledollfacebaby @mylifeisnothing @em16cor @krazyk99 @imdoingbetternow @realalpacorn @remussbitch @swiftieeras1989 @lonely-nerd-sodaholic TAGLIST CLOSED
#james potter x reader#sirius black x reader#remus lupin x reader#poly marauders x reader#marauders#marauders fic#poly marauders#poly!marauders#sirius black#james potter#remus lupin#sirius orion black#sirius x reader#the marauders#remus x reader#james potter fluff#james potter x you#remus lupin fluff#sirius black x you#sirius black fic#marauders poly angst#marauders angst
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Here For You | Lewis Hamilton
Words count: 1K
Lewis Hamilton X reader (established relationship)
Summery: When Lewis gets a podium and his team is nowhere to be found, but you stand there in a sea of red
Warnings: none
A/N: unedited
it really broke my heart seeing Lewis so alone after the race, the way he sat down waiting for his turn, while Carlando had their teams there. He looked so tired and defeted, thanks to the Ferrari and Mclaren who congratulated him.
Masterlist
Lewis Masterlist
Singapore 2023, Sunday.
What an intense race, one of the best of the season so far. It was so close from start to finish, those last ten laps had you on your toes in anticipation. Leg bouncing up and down as you stared at the screen, Carlos, Lando, George and Lewis were stuck in a DRS train all for P1, George couldn’t overtake Lando no matter what he did. It’s under a lap left when the younger Mercedes driver drives straight into the barrier, your eyes open in shock, everyone is surprised, disappointment on everyone's faces in the Mercedes garage. Frustrated mechanics and just about everyone.
Your eyes don’t leave the screen, eyes on your boyfriend, but as the three round the last turn, he couldn’t overtake Lando, but he’s P3. you’re happy for him, so happy. You feel bad for George, he’s been doing amazing through the race, he was doing so good all weekend, and to end it like this breaks your heart. However Lewis is your number one concern, and he made it to podium after so long, and you knew given one more lap he could’ve overtaken Lando for P2.
Despite having one podium win, the mood in the garage was sombre. Everyone is so upset about George, you bit your lip as you waited for them to go to the barrier under the podium to meet their winning driver but no one made an effort to go and see him, despite them all going to congratulate George the day before when he qualified second.
You’ve been going to races for years, having been with Lewis a long time and every week you had free of work you were in the country he’s in supporting him every chance, sometimes you’d be there for a day or two, never missing an opportunity to be by his side, and you aren’t about to start now. So after two minutes you decided to just leave the garage, ignoring everyone, you couldn’t even see Toto anywhere.
Already Ferrari and Mcalren were at the barriers so you’d have to fight your way to the front. The heat had you a little sweaty as you squeezed yourself between the orange and red dressed people around you, trying to be heard as you moved but your voice fell onto deaf ears under the loud sounds and talking. Lucky for you Fred Vasseur Ferrari’s principal saw you struggling, the older man had talked to you multiple times, he and Lewis are on good terms and talk from time to time. He gestures for his team to let you through, and thankfully you make it to the front.
“God! Thank you so much.” You breathe out, huffing, you’re thankful you decided to have your hair in an updo today, feeling the heat from the crowd around you add to the heat of Singapore.
“It’s okay, it looked like you were about to die in there.” He joked, as you both turned to the front, Lewis was waiting to get weighted, your eyes stayed on him once they found him with a smile on your face as you answered Fred.
“Felt like it.” He laughs and pats your back, you look around the barrier for a moment, once Lewis is on the scale(?). No sign of a single Mercedes team member.
“What are you looking for?” Fred asks, also looking around.
“Mercedes.” was all you said, the man realises the absence of the team which is very odd. Lewis has been the forefront of the team for years, whether it’s a win or not, they should be cheering for him.
Lewis takes off his helmet and balaclava, he doesn't see you though. “Lewis!”
You call but your voice get drowned in the other sounds around you, your saving grace comes in Lando, he was walking to the wait for his interview when he saw and heard you, patting Lewis on his arm to get his attention, he points at you. The moment he sees you, you smile so wide at him.
Lewis also smiles, seeing you, when he got out of the car and couldn’t spot you or any of his team he felt crushed, he’s tired the race has been hard and having kept it together the whole race, doing better than the last few weeks, it definitely dampened his mood not seeing his team here for him. Seeing you now however brought him happiness that he’s grateful for.
Walking you to you, the driver wraps his arms around you, sweat and all, you holding as close as you could through the barrier, you close your eyes getting a tad bit emotional.
“I’m so proud of you my love, you did so great.” Kissing his cheek. Around you Ferrari cheered for you, making you laugh and pull back a little, but Lewis wasn’t ready to let you go yet, he held your arms in his.
“I couldn’t see you when I came in.” He tells you, you give him a sad smile.
“Fred rescued me, was fighting my way through to get to the front.” You say with a small giggle, he once again pulls you in for a second hug. “I love you so much Lewis.”
“I love you too… Thank you for always being here for me.” Lewis says low enough so only you could hear him.
“Always, I’ll always be here for you, you can count on that.” You run your hand up and down his back, hearing Lando do his interview. “It’s your turn soon, I’ll be waiting for you after the podiums.”
Lewis pulls back and quickly picks your lips, it’s rare that he shows PDA but in that moment he couldn’t help it. Lewis is a private man, and he likes to keep anything beyond the surface about the two of you away from the public eyes, so you know that your feed will be filled with edits and screenshots from your moment.
Watching Lewis on the podium with a proud smile you clap and cheer for him, as if it’s your first time seeing him on a podium, celebrating him as if he won a WDC. you couldn’t wait to get back to the hotel so you’d be alone with him and enjoy the night alone, just the two of you.
#lewis hamilton imagine#lewis hamilton one shot#lewis hamilton#f1 x reader#f1 fanfic#f1 imagine#lewis hamilton x reader#sir lewis hamilton#f1 scenario
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Just Friends: Isn't It Fun?
My warnings are not exhaustive but be aware this is a dark fic and may include potentially triggering topics. Please use your common sense when consuming content. I am not responsible for your decisions.
Character: Bucky Barnes
masterlist
Summary: You make a new friend.
It’s giving
As usual, I would appreciate any and all feedback. I’m happy to once more go on this adventure with all of you! Thank you in advance for your comments and for reblogging ❤️
You hum as you come up the walk of your building. It isn’t in the best location. In the dark, it’s scarier as a shadow overhangs the door beneath the awning. You reach into your knapsack, hanging from one shoulder, as you eke out the tune to Easy Street offkey.
As your keys jingle, a shape pops out of the bushes and you scream, throwing the keyring as you turn to sprint back down the pavement. You’re caught from behind as a familiar chuckle rolls up into the moonlit sky. You grunt and elbow Bucky as you realise the trick he’s pulled.
“Ah, why would you do that?” You wriggle until he lets you go.
You face him and try to snarl but you’re so relieved it’s just him, you can’t help but smile.
“Just having some fun. At your expense,” he chuckles and bends to pick up the keys. “Can I give you some advice, dreamy?” He raises your keys and holds them so one points between his fingers. “Keep your keys out, hold em like this and if some creep jumps out of the bushes, stab em good.”
“Stab-- Buck,” you shake your head. “I can’t do that.”
“You can if it’s life or death,” he swings the keys around to hang from his thick fingers, “here.”
“What-- what are you even doing here?”
“Huh. You didn’t let me ask my question first,” he huffs as he stands back and waves you past. “Why didn’t you tell me you were working late?”
“Well, firstly, you got lots going on,” you say. “And I didn’t think of it. I’m fine.”
“Fine, I could be a real bad guy waiting for you out here in the dark,” he taunts.
“But you’re not. So now my turn, why are you here?”
“Well, I was wandering by on my way to see a Buster Keaton marathon and thought maybe you’d be up for it...”
“Tonight? Right now?”
“I see,” he grabs the door as you opens it and holds it, “you’re too busy. Or maybe you’re too good for me.”
You enter and he follows. It’s that familiarity that you just sort of fell into with him. He’s like a wise big brother, even if he really is older than your grandpa. It’s the most unexpected bonds that are the strongest.
“No, not at all, Mr. Hero,” you climb the stairs as he stays a step behind, his hand on the railing right by yours.
“Ugh, why doesn’t this place have an elevator?” He whines.
“I thought the serum would give you extra strong legs,” you toss over your shoulder.
“Whatever.” He clucks, “so how about it? You wanna fall asleep in the theatre with me, dreamy?”
“Dream-- why do you call me that?” You head down towards your door.
“You got your head in the clouds. Also, when you watch movies, you get this look in your eyes, like you’re living on screen. Dreamy. See.” He explains.
“Mm,” you grumble.
“You don’t like it? I put up with Buckaroo.”
“That was once and it was a slip-up,” you unlock your door. “Fine, I’ll go with you since you don’t have any other friends.”
“I have friends.”
“Sure you do,” you snort and turn to give him a playful wink. You put your keys and bag down on the tall table. “You and Cap, the superfriends. Heroes and buddies til the end—whoa!”
You hit the shoe rack and stumble, landing on your ass. Bucky is quick enough to save you but he doesn’t. He watches smugly and cackles as your cheeks burn up.
“Not funny,” you pout.
“Oh, it is very funny,” he approaches and offers his hand. “How’s that humble pie taste?”
“Fine. I was being a meanie. I admit it but you got my adrenaline up. I can’t help it.”
“Ha, yeah, that was good. You shoulda seen the look on your face. And that noise you made.” He hauls you up as his vibranium thumb rubs between your knuckles. “Ayeeeee!”
“I don’t sound like that.”
“You do.” He grins. You scowl and he laughs again. “You know I love that face. The day you actually get mad at me, I’ll be down on my knees, dreamy.”
“Ugh, you are such a...” you let the sentence trail off and the dimple stays in in his cheek as he crosses his arms.
“I’m a what?”
“Nothing.”
“No, say it,” he goads.
“No.”
“Come on, I can handle it. You know, I got hit by a truck the other day, I think I can take a few words.”
“Hit by a truck? Bucky?” You squeal. “Are you okay?”
“Ah, look at me. I’m fine. Not a scratch. That you can see,” he shrugs. “So what am I? Tell me.”
“No,” you turn your nose up.
“Say it. You’ll feel better.”
“It’s... not nice.”
“Come on,” he unfolds his arms and flutters his fingers at you, “I am trained in torture.”
“No,” you grab his hands, his skin rough, “no tickles.”
“So, tell me.”
“Not fair,” you struggle to keep his hands away from your sides.
“Almost...” he wiggles his fingertips a half-inch from your middle.
“Brat! You’re a brat!” You step back, out of his reach. “Okay, and if you keep being one, you can go to the movies alone.”
He laughs and grips his hips in victory, “wow, you know, I’ve actually never got that one. Creative.”
“Right, well, I can’t sit in the theatre in this get-up,” you look down at your frilly plaid overall dress and white blouse.
“I didn’t get to mention that yet. It’s a choice, as the young ones say.”
You cringe, “it’s my work uniform.”
“Uniform?” He squints.
“Don’t, okay? I get enough guff from the customers.”
“Guff? Oh, that’s language I understand.”
“Ergh,” you stomp your foot. “You are so... so... old.”
You turn and march away. He laughs and you turn into your bedroom. He just loves to tease you and despite your efforts, he always gets to you. At least he’ll have to be quiet during the movie.
#bucky barnes#dark bucky barnes#dark!bucky barnes#bucky barnes x reader#series#just friends#drabble#mcu#marvel#winter soldier#captain america#avengers
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hello, jing yuan, aventurine and sunday with a teen!assasin reader who was ordered by their master to kill them but couldnt and [character] took them in due to their young age and frankly them being pitiful
Another similar ask:
hiii, dr ratio aventurine and boothill with an IPC agent/assasin teen!reader?
Reader was practically forced onto assasination, is hardened and doesnt show much emotion due to their past kinda similar to bronya zaychik backstory in the azure waters manga
This post is made in combination with these two asks, so I hope you'll like this!! And thank you to the anons for their request!!<33
Content: Angst, assassination attempts, Reader is a teen assassin that has no direct origin, platonic relationships, father/older brother figures, fluff, some brainwashing on Sundays end, sfw
Characters: Sunday, Aventurine, Boothill
Reader has no set pronouns!!
((Not fully proofread))
》BOOTHILL
He finds your attempt at killing him rather amusing. Maybe a bit too amusing. He laughed hysterically when he finally pinned you down with ease, thinking this was all just a joke... until he realised that you were serious.
Now, Boothill was used to people trying to off him through various ways, his robotic body the perfect proof for that, but he never had a kid try him before. And he had to admit, that you would've gotten him, if he was still fully human! Truly impressive!
He won't bother asking you where you're from or what you lead him to you in the first place. Once he gets you to settle down and hears you telling him that you can't return to your master until you kill him, he just sighs and scratches his head. Well... he doesn't really want a kid to die at the hands of their abusive master... so he supposes that he'll just have to take you in until he finds a hime for you.
He isn't put off by your emotionless behavior and even understands it very well, if anything. He doubts anyone could be happy under the harsh conditions you grew up in, but that doesn't mean that he won't try and teach you how to loosen up a bit. It doesn't occur to him over time that he never really looked out for a home for you as promised. Perhaps you have found it with him already anyway.
》SUNDAY
Sunday found your attempt quite saddening, absolutely pitiful and near pathetic, if he felt cruel that day. He felt no worry or fear, knowing that whoever sent you must've been a fool to think that a child could end him of all people, and yet, he doesn't tease nor punish you for it. It wasn't your fault that you were born to be mistreated at such a young age, after all.
He takes you under his wing as a disciple or student in a way. He wants to teach you the "truth" about life and what it means to be alive in the dreamscape. Your dreams can become true here, so why not teach you how to live on after your palms have been stained red forever?
Your emotionless and apathetic behavior does little to deter or bother him. He sees you as a child he had to save before the shadows of this sinful took over you completely. His tuning ability is not spared on you either, if that's what it takes for you to get better. He eventually starts to view you as a little sibling and is delighted when you get along with Robin.
Deep down, he will, however, always feel a little... worried that you may turn around to betray him the way you betrayed your original master by leaving him, too. But he hopes that all his lessons and the home he gave you makes you stay and be grateful for all the love and mercy he had given you
》AVENTURINE
Similar to Boothill, he finds your attempt amusing at best. Pitiful at worst, as he sees a younger him in your cold gaze. He knows he shouldn't trust you after what you just tried... but he makes a deal with you anyways, after you were forced to take a seat infront of him by some IPC guards. If you beat him in a card game, he'll let you take his life and get away with it. If you lose, then you'll have to allow him to take you in as a little "assistant" of some sort. In reality, he just wants to save you from yourself, this determination even foreign to him yet welcomed bravely.
Unsurprisingly, you lose. He jokes that it must've been due to his unbeatable luck... but he really just rigged the game a little. There was no harm in it, and if anything, he just saved your life through it. Otherwise, the IPC would've just executed you for trying to attack one of their agents. Even if Aventurine doubted, they even cared that much for him... but he won't tell you that either.
He gave you a calming, stress-free life, one far away from all the hurt and death you've been surrounded with since birth. He hears your story and perhaps even shares a part of his own, as he shows you that you are the same in a way. You don't have to kill and hurt anymore under his care, he promises you that and to a younger self he was trying to heal through it.
#honkai star rail#honkai star rail fanfic#honkai star rail x reader#honkai star rail x you#hsr x reader#hsr#hsr aventurine x reader#hsr aventurine#hsr boothill x reader#hsr boothill#sunday hsr#hsr sunday x reader
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Practice On Me — Part Eight — Azriel x Reader
Summary: Everything is starting to get on top of reader and tensions rise. Azriel takes a trip to Fenlaros and comes away with a headache. Cassian does what Cassian does best. A friendly face swoops in to save the day.
Word count: 8.3k.
Warnings: A little freaky deaky 18+, NSFW, smut, minors dni.
Azriel’s kiss is a burning brand.
It’s fire and ice and earth and rain. It tastes like freshly set snow, and it feels like the refined touch of a steeled warrior.
He kisses you like he aches for you. He pulls his hands away only to remove his gloves and chuck them aside, and then he’s clasping your face once more, skin on skin. He’s always so warm — a part of him you’ve missed.
And a part of him that drives you to kiss him back with barely any hesitation.
This — his mouth on yours — feels like the answer to a riddle you’ve been puzzling out for days, weeks, months, years. You’re gasping for air, and his tongue is sliding between your lips, and his taste overpowers you so thoroughly that you think it could break something inside of you.
There isn’t much furniture left in here. A few scattered tables, a shelf or two hanging off the wall. Not much to work with, and yet it doesn’t matter, because you and Azriel will have each other however you can. You’ve spent a lifetime making do with whatever you’ve got. This is no different.
Azriel’s hands fall down to your hips, and he’s lifting you so abruptly that a yelp leaves you and lands straight on his lips. Your arms loop around his neck, and he’s fastening your legs at his waist and stumbling with you — stumbling towards one of those old tables. A plume of dust erupts around you as he sets you down and slots himself between your legs.
“I fucking miss you.” He groans, grabbing your face. “I miss…us.”
You feel so many things. There’s no chance to sort through them, verbalise them, before his mouth slants over yours again. He’s hungry, needy. Hot and sinful. This Azriel is a far cry from the one who coyly confessed to his inexperience. This Azriel writes poetry onto your lips and paints masterpieces on your tongue. He kisses like eternal happiness depends on it. He kisses as though he’s been an artful lover for centuries.
He’s been practicing, the thought pops into your head.
Not with me, the realisation follows.
And that feels like being thrown stark-naked into the snow. It’s not a nice feeling — to realise that Azriel may be treating you to skill refined elsewhere. Not when you think about kissing him more than you’d like to admit to yourself. Does it make you a gods-damned hypocrite after what you did with Cassian? Perhaps.
But none of this — not one bit of it — is reasonable, or rational, or logical.
All you know is that your stomach lurches suddenly, violently, at the thought of where else Azriel’s lips might have been. And that’s all it takes for you to shove him away.
He stares at you, wide-eyed. Perplexed.
“I needed you.” You pant, the words tumbling from you in a flurry of charged emotion. You’re not sure you planned to say it. “On Solstice — I needed you.”
Azriel’s face changes in the blink of an eye. The hunger is gone, replaced by…something else. “Y/N—”
“I needed you, and you weren’t there. You promised me.”
“I know I did. And I’m sorry—”
“Did you even think of me?” It’s awkward, but you try to scramble back on the table. You just…need that distance right now. “Did you not wonder how I might be doing, how my day might be playing out in that hellish house, before you jumped into bed with Kaeda?”
“We didn’t—”
“Did you think of me?”
“Y/N, of course I thought of you.” He tries to clamp down on your legs, but you’re moving further away, damn near falling off the table in your efforts. “But you — you said you would come and find me. I waited for you—I—”
You’re really not sure if it’s a strangled sob or a choked laugh that fights its way up your throat. Perhaps it’s both. The sound of it is jarring, and it echoes around the armoury and reminds you of where you find yourself right now. The situation you’re in. How different things might be had Kaeda not come onto the scene.
“You waited for me?” You repeat, righting yourself. “And—what? Did you get bored? How do you think it felt, Azriel, when I came to find you — the only person I wanted to fucking be around in that moment — and you were busy with Kaeda on top of you? As if I needed my heart breaking any more that night.”
You hate it — hate it so viscerally that the words won’t stop coming. That you’re bringing your heart into this and allowing it to be stomped on again. Your eyes are watering, and you turn quickly before Az can see.
For a moment, he says and does absolutely nothing. And then he takes a step closer to you.
“I’m sorry that I wasn’t there when you needed me. Believe me, I am.” He says. There’s another step. Another. He’s hovering at your back and you know he’s wondering whether he should reach out and touch you. “But, Y/N…you encouraged me to pursue things with Kaeda. Am I to apologise for that?”
You blink at his words so abruptly that your tears spill down your cheeks.
Now you’re laughing.
It’s a humourless laugh — a hysterical one. It breaks from you in a series of fractured, incredulous noises. At least the emotion boils your blood so thoroughly that it warms you from the inside.
“Apologise?” You round on Azriel, balling your fists at your sides. “No. You don’t need to fucking apologise. But you also don’t need me to practice on anymore, do you?”
He clamps down on his jaw, a telltale muscle moving. “I didn’t kiss you for that—”
“You kissed me because you miss me. Because I am…I’m just a security blanket, aren’t I? I’m what’s familiar, and you’re used to being around me, and having distance between us has fooled you into thinking that you want to kiss me.”
“No—”
“But you’ll kiss me…and make me feel good..and then the novelty will fucking wear off, and you’ll be running straight back to Kaeda because she is who you’ve wanted all along. Not me. Never me.”
“Cauldron, Y/N, will you just let me speak?!”
No.
You will not.
You can’t.
You can’t do this. You can’t break in front of him. You refuse to.
You want to sound strong, and sure, and unbothered, but you open your mouth, and the words are watery and broken. Weak.
“No.” You swallow a lump down. “No, I won’t. Just…just go, Az. I need some time.”
“We’ve spent the last week apart. That’s plenty of fucking time—”
“Go! Go back to Kaeda. Stop…stop pretending like this could play out any other way. It can’t. It won’t.”
“I’m not leaving on an unresolved fight. You and I don’t do that.”
You are far too beaten down to discuss this any longer. You shrug, and the gesture is an effort in itself. “I’m not sure I know what either of us do or don’t do anymore. Things have changed. Go.”
“Y/N—”
“Go!”
Finally, it seems to dawn on him — the realisation that you’re serious. You won’t be discussing this tonight. You’re not strong enough for that yet.
He falters a moment longer, so clearly not wanting to walk away. The two of you have never been like this. You can fight like the best of friends do, but you’ve always made the effort to resolve things, to not part on a bad word.
But things are different, now. You know it. Az knows it.
“…Fine.” He rasps after a long stint of silence. “I’ll go.”
You nod. If he’s expecting you to suddenly change your mind, he’ll be gravely disappointed.
His eyes sweep you once more, and then he’s turning. Dragging his feet to the door like a kicked animal.
“Az?” You call quietly, and he stops.
The hope in his eyes as he looks over his shoulder almost breaks your resolve. Almost, but not quite. “Yes?”
“Send Cassian next time.”
He doesn’t deign to reply.
✧: *✧・゚✧・゚: *✧・゚✧・゚: *✧・゚✧・゚: *✧・゚✧・゚: *✧・゚
Azriel is not well-versed in the world of dinner parties and propriety.
He has a few decent shirts he reserves for special occasions — like when Rhys’s mother cooks a nice meal, and he and the others dress up out of respect.
Y/N would laugh herself hoarse if she could see him right now.
A thought that stings almost as much as the intense, burning gaze of Tathaln Baralas, Lord of Fenlaros.
He’s a mammoth, domineering presence at the head of the dinner table, seeming to command every bite that each person takes of their food, every sip of their wine. It’s silent unless he speaks. It’s tense because he makes it tense.
He watches Azriel as though he’s going to finish his food and then take a bite out of the shadowsinger himself. Az’s shadows are taut around him, not wanting to make a spectacle of their brilliance. The dinner so far has felt like one big, held breath.
But finally, Tathaln clears his throat, and Kaeda and her brothers sit up straight. Az does the same.
“I trust your friends have fared well since your little adventure in my camp.” The Lord addresses Azriel. “I hope the punishment wasn’t too severe. I did many similar things in my youth — though I can’t say I was ever quite so bold as to venture into a rival territory.”
Azriel inclines his head slightly. “I wanted to apologise again — for what happened. Things got out of hand.”
“I’m partly to blame, father, as you know.” Kaeda adds. Azriel damn near jumps out of his seat as her hand lands on his thigh beneath the table. “It was my idea to invite my friends from Windhaven. An oversight, perhaps, on my part. I was eager to show Azriel what Fenlaros has to offer.”
Tathaln seems to think on that as he chews his food. He washes it down with a gulp of wine and reaches for the carafe to refill his glass. The whole thing feels like somewhat of a performance, and nobody speaks a word as it plays out.
This family dynamic is…odd. Not that Azriel has much experience where normal family dynamics are concerned. But there’s a formality with which Kaeda and her brothers — not that the two males have breathed a word this entire meal — address their flesh and blood. Like he is their Lord first, and father second.
And that isn’t unusual for Illyrians — not at all. Offspring are, more often than not, treated like a prospective trophy to be paraded in front of competing families. The fiercer, more ruthless the child is, the prouder the parent will be. It’s a brutal, ugly way of living that never changes, no matter how many generations stack up.
But perhaps Azriel is at fault for having too high an expectation. Perhaps he shouldn’t ever have been fooled by Kaeda’s wings and spirit being left intact, unlike most females around her.
Tathaln is a puppeteer, and Kaeda and her brothers are his dutiful puppets.
“There was no particular harm done.” The Lord eventually says — rather reasonable, for an Illyrian. “I imagine you received a stern talking to. Revoked privileges, perhaps?”
“Lord Devlon saw fit to lecture us, yes.” Azriel concurs with a nod. “But besides that, we weren’t really handed any punishment. It was my friend, Y/N, who bore the brunt of his wrath. She’s been forced into homelessness as a result.”
A sudden, sharp kick lands on Az’s leg from beside him. He glances at Kaeda in his periphery, eyes the fierce expression with which she looks at him. It seems to be communicating, don’t bring this up now.
But Az wants to bring it up. He’s pissed off; more so than he initially thought. At himself, mostly, and at Devlon, at Rhys’s father, maybe even a little at Kaeda — at everyone really.
Tathaln pauses, his fork mid-air. And then he sits back. “Right — the girl that was here. Why has she been made homeless?”
Girl. It’s a sneer of a word in Illyrian mouths. Azriel has to clamp down on his jaw and remind himself that confronting the sexism that runs through their veins is a fruitless task in that moment.
And Kaeda sighs at his side. As if she’d rather be talking in great detail about the roasting of a boar, than about Y/N.
But it answers a question that’s been rattling around in Azriel’s mind all evening — that no, Kaeda had clearly not mentioned Y/N to her father, as she said she would.
“Her father kicked her out on Solstice.” Az explains. “He’s not a good male, to say the least. Y/N was living with myself and my friends, but after the events that unfolded here in Fenlaros, she was sworn off having any contact with us, because Lord Devlon seems to think that she’s the driving force behind any and every bad choice we make. She has nowhere else to go. It’s…worrying.”
“Perhaps she’ll think twice before wandering into rival camps.” Finally, one of Kaeda’s brothers speaks. Arlen, Azriel thinks his name is. Clearly the idiot doesn’t see the irony of his statement.
Or perhaps Kaeda doesn’t have to adhere to the rules that every other female is strictly held under.
“Arlen.” The Lord shoots him a warning glance. He turns back to Azriel. “I would argue that Lord Devlon is full of shit.”
Azriel stops. Blinks. That…that’s not what he was expecting.
“How so, father?” Kaeda’s brow furrows.
“It’s his job to keep the soldiers under his command in line, no?” Tathaln’s dark, feline eyes are assessing Azriel as he speaks — seeming to read his response. “If he finds that a single female is the cause of such disruption, perhaps it is himself he should look at. He can’t be a great leader if he has to resort to such extremes just to keep his soldiers under control, now, can he?”
Az stares back at him. The question is meant for him, but it all seems too…too easy. Reason and logic are simply not a common thing among these people. The words sound almost…false. Forced.
“No.” Azriel agrees. “I suppose not.”
“Do you find him to be an adequate leader?”
“I’ve never known any different.”
Tathaln’s mouth tips up. “That isn’t what I asked.”
No, it isn’t. But this is a fine line Azriel is treading. He positively despises Lord Devlon — thinks him an arrogant brute who uses his title to flout camp laws and customs and turn everything in his favour. Not to mention the fact that he and his cronies are so clearly threatened by Az, Rhys and Cass — an undoubtedly formidable trio. Azriel is sure that if Devlon had his way, the three of them would be slung out by their necks. Or hung by them.
But his personal feelings towards the Lord of Windhaven doesn’t change the fact that openly disrespecting him — and to the lord of another camp — is a huge dishonour. One that could blow up in Azriel’s face if this conversation were to somehow make its way back to Devlon. He has to choose his words carefully.
“He has a method of leadership that I can’t say I’m in agreement with.” Gods, he is the epitome and personification of diplomacy, if he does say so himself. Ten points to the shadowsinger. “I’m not sure that using his power to target vulnerable females was ever part of his job description. I’m sure, as a father to a female of the same age, you can see where I’m coming from.”
Tathaln takes another pensive sip of his wine. He inclines his head. “Indeed, I do. I think it’s terrible leadership. And I think you’re wasted in Windhaven.”
“I appreciate that, my lord.”
“There is no need for modesty, Azriel, the shadowsinger.” As he speaks, the Lord’s eyes inch towards those very shadows. He studies them with a strange expression that looks almost like…hunger. “Do you know why I sent my Kaeda to your camp? I may as well admit, I have an agenda.”
Azriel glances at Kaeda. She’s staring at her plate, shoulders squared. “Oh?”
“I sent her there to scope out the quality of the units that are being trained in the Windhaven Camp. My sons were sent on similar missions to other camps — Camp Theriel, Camp Steelshore, Camp Aruin. The consensus of what was reported back to me regarding each camp was that potential is not being filled. Quite frankly, a mockery is being made of Illyrians by the poor training of these legions. If war was waged tomorrow, half of our race could be wiped out.”
Bold, bold words.
Azriel finds himself stunned silent.
“We are Illyrians, no?” A thick, callused finger traces the rim of Tathaln’s chalice. “We are a warrior race. We have birthed some of the fiercest warriors in Prythian’s history and decimated tens of thousands across battlefields. And yet, it would seem, these days, that our camps are producing fewer warriors, and far more lazy, unambitious brutes who care only about drinking and fighting and fucking. Our reputation could be destroyed yet.”
This is…bizarre, Az thinks.
He also thinks that it’s a little unfair. He’s the last person to ever defend the creatures around him that are supposedly his brethren, but he also thinks that Tathaln’s assessment is wildly exaggerated.
Illyrians drink, yes, and fight, yes, and fuck, yes. But they do so in between harsh, gruelling training. They drink to forget the brutal nature of their life’s work. They fight each other because they’re just as angry as one another, and that needs an outlet. They seek pleasure, because it’s one of the few good things to be found in these parts.
Their training is not for the faint of heart. You train well, or you die. It’s that simple.
And if Tathaln, Lord of Fenlaros, truly has such concerns, Azriel doesn’t understand why the fuck they’re being presented to him, of all people.
“Is this something you’ve raised with the High Lord?” He asks — he isn’t sure he even means to say it.
Kaeda tenses beside him, and Az wonders if, perhaps, he’s overstepped the mark. But Tathaln seems somewhat pleased by the question — seems pleased that Azriel is engaged in the discussion.
“It is.” The male answers. “And I think he finds himself agreeable to what I’ve had to say. However, I haven’t yet presented my solution — what I believe to be the right course of action.”
Az takes the bait. “Which is what?”
“Eventually,” Tathaln says, “I would do away with the individual camps entirely. I would have one, sole camp to train Illyrian warriors, overseen by the most powerful members of our race. Members with rare, unique powers who can draw on the Illyrian potential and make our people what we were always supposed to be. What we once were, before we became too complacent. Better, even.”
And just like that, it makes sense that Tathaln is sharing such things with Az.
Rare, unique powers. Powers like that of a shadowsinger. So incredibly unique that Azriel has never met another of his kind.
Tathaln has ambition — he covets power. He has a vision that needs backing.
It’s like everything suddenly clicks into place in Azriel’s mind.
He finds himself looking at Kaeda, not her father. Finds himself wondering if she ever had genuine interest in him, or if that interest came entirely from Tathaln. Finally, she lifts her gaze to his, and she wears a strange, pleading look.
“Don’t get me wrong, shadowsinger.” Tathaln says. “This is not a goal that could be achieved overnight. Power takes time to build. I couldn’t take this idea to the High Lord without something to back it up — something to get him on side.”
Azriel shrugs. “But what would you have me do? I’m just a soldier in training—”
“You are a shadowsinger. Do you even realise what an asset that makes you? Perhaps your poor start in life, your mistreatment, has caused you to downplay your potential. But I see it. Your power could be a lethal weapon on a battlefield. And off a battlefield. There is so much you could be doing, and yet Lord Devlon has you landing punches on a sparring dummy and calls it training? You are made for better things than that.”
Praise is…it’s a rare thing, in Azriel’s world. And he doesn’t care about that, because the little praise he does get comes from the people who matter, and that’s all he needs.
But hearing somebody other than his close friends — his family — speak so highly of him, is…new. And he’d be lying if he claimed not to like it.
Still, Tathaln is clearly beating around the proverbial. Azriel almost doesn’t want the discussion to go any further, because his head is already full to the brim with swimming thoughts and close to exploding. But they’ve come this far already; he may as well learn what his role in this bigger agenda would be.
“What is it you want from me, my Lord?” He asks.
A small smile plays on Tathaln’s mouth. His eyes, yet again, are on Azriel’s shadows, rather than Az himself. “As I said, change cannot be made overnight. It would take years — generations, perhaps. I would need enough males — strong males — backing my cause, before the High Lord would even hear of it. But I am a patient male. I know what I want, what is right for Illyria, and I will do everything in my power to make it happen. Starting with strengthening my camp. Being known as the strongest of all camps. And strengthening my influence, too.”
“And what does that have to do with me?”
“Having your power on my side could be a good thing for me. And I could hone you. I believe this mission starts with you. Abandon Windhaven and take up residence in Fenlaros. Train under my command. Come and see exactly how wasted you are in that place. Come and see what we could build together.”
“You want me to be your pet?” Azriel raises an eyebrow. “Your project?”
“I want to hone your potential and show you what an asset you are. I want Illyrians to be a feared people once more. I want to build the strongest, most powerful army in all of Prythian and make Illyria what it was always supposed to be.”
In the wake of the impassioned speech, silence sweeps in. Azriel is staring at his plate, and he thinks he might be feeling cold all over. There’s a strange tingling at the back of his neck — like a warning sign.
He still doesn’t understand why he’d be integral to such an agenda. He’s a shadowsinger, yes, and that is not to be downplayed, but he’s just Azriel. He’s just an Illyrian who trains to fight, and fights to kill, and to one day be killed. That is simply how it is.
And Windhaven — ugly and cold and harrowing as it is — is his home. His family is there. A cottage that is far too small and cramped to house a group of adults but is always a beacon of light and hope and warmth. A place in which he’s made wonderful memories and felt genuine happiness. He’s happy to tolerate the hellish ways of life around him, because he has beautiful things in front of him.
Beautiful things that wouldn’t follow him to Fenlaros. Yes, he may have broken a rule and breached a camp to attend a party — but doing so under casual circumstances is wildly different to doing so under official ones. As a soldier of Fenlaros — as one of Tathaln’s puppets — he would be expected to adhere to the strict rules and standards that he metes out. Fenlaros would be his territory, and there would be no blurring of those lines.
But could Tathaln really be seeing more potential in Azriel than had ever been noticed before? Could it truly be that Fenlaros has more to offer him? More to be done for him?
“I would be turning my back on everything I know.” Az says, the mere words tasting sour in his mouth. “My loved ones. The family I’ve built. They would be left behind. I’m not under any illusion that you’d allow our two camps to interact if I came here.”
Tathaln dips his chin. “I am not going to sugarcoat that. It would be an adjustment, and a painful one at first. But there is far more for you here, shadowsinger. I simply ask that you consider it. Just as I believe your two brothers would consider it, if I were to present the offer to them.”
“And why haven’t you? Presented it to them? Why me?”
Those dark, calculating eyes swallow him up. “I need a shadowsinger. It starts with you.”
Azriel isn’t even sure what that means, and he doesn’t want to think about it any longer. There’s a lump in his throat. His appetite is well and truly gone. He might even be sick.
He couldn’t possibly leave his family. The thought makes him violently ill.
“As I said, all I ask is for your consideration.” Tathaln watches him. And then his eyes slide to his daughter. “As this meal is clearly over, perhaps Kaeda should show you around Fenlaros. Show you what this place might have to offer. Give the shadowsinger a tour, my sweet.”
Kaeda smiles broadly. “Yes, father.”
Az wants to refuse, but he can’t find the words. Too much is going on in his head. He wants to get out of there and go straight back to Windhaven, where it’s familiar and where love waits for him. He doesn’t want to be a component in a greater agenda.
When he met Kaeda, it was simply about…exploring attraction. About experiencing. Not about this.
But he can’t fucking speak. He stands without telling his body to stand.
And for some reason, when Kaeda slides her hand into his, murmurs a soft “come, Azriel”, he doesn’t protest.
Numb and stunned and sick to his stomach he may be. But he follows.
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Azriel isn’t sure if he’s heard a single word that has left Kaeda’s mouth.
She speaks, and yet it’s simply background noise. He can’t hear around the screeching in his head.
He should really just take to the skies and fly home, but perhaps he’s already a puppet — his feet stay on Fenlaros turf. Kaeda guides him around the camp as though the conversation at dinner never happened. She shows him her favourite haunts and introduces him to people whose names he forgets instantly.
It's up on a viewpoint overlooking the camp, just he and Kaeda alone, that he finally releases a slow, weary breath. He folds his arms against the railing and welcomes the cold air biting into his skin. Kaeda stands just a short distance away.
“We call this area the Widow’s Watch.” She says, daring a step closer. “It’s said that centuries ago, at the end of battle, the camp wives would gather up here with firelit torches and await their husbands’ return. If their husband returned, they’d extinguish the torch. Those that were left burning signified who did not return from war.”
Azriel says nothing; isn’t sure he’s capable. He digs his fingers into his arm.
Eventually, Kaeda stops at his side, also bracing her arms on the railing. She looks out over the camp wistfully, as though she can see hordes of wounded soldiers returning home. “I can’t imagine how eerie that sight must have been — the beacons of the dead painting the sky with fire.”
“No,” the agreement leaves the shadowsinger unexpectedly — surprises even him. “Neither can I.”
It’s then that Kaeda angles herself towards him just slightly. He meets her gaze. She’s so very beautiful — the kind of female that artists beg to paint. Her cheekbones are high and defined, her lips full. Her eyes look like shards of glimmering green rock. Never is there a hair out of place. Never a stray lash or smudged rouge. She is, quite simply, a vision.
But Az finds himself wondering if he’s ever known any part of her, or if she’s just following orders.
“I know you must have questions.” She eyes him cautiously.
“So many that my brain can’t keep up.” He takes a small step away. “Have you ever been genuinely interested in me?”
“I have.”
“Your father literally sent you to cozy up to me.”
Her eyes shutter, thick lashes fanning against her skin. “It wasn’t like that, Azriel. I mean — it was, to some degree. You’re right that my father sent me, and that he already had his sights set on you. I work for him. I’m training as his spymaster.” She opens those eyes again — wide. “Yes, he told me to get to know you. But he didn’t say romantically. That was all me. I just…like you.”
Gods, it should feel good, feel like a positive thing, to hear that. To know that the beautiful female he’s been getting to know these past months has genuine interest in him.
But he feels…nothing. No sense of relief. Only the anger that’s still simmering at this entire thing being orchestrated by her father.
“Does it not bother you?” His tone is brusque, sharp, as he stares Kaeda down. “That your father has you do his bidding? You’re a pawn in a game.”
“My father has a vision. It is an honour to serve him, and to be a contributor to that vision eventually coming to fruition. I will not apologise for that.”
“A vision. To create…to create one fucking super camp that he is to oversee? It sounds to me like your father has a hunger for power. Things have worked this way in Illyria for millennia. Why should they be changed now?”
Kaeda shakes her head. “You’re wrong. Things aren’t working. That’s just the problem.”
“You—”
“Are you proud to be an Illyrian, Azriel?” She steps closer to him; perhaps too close. “I’m not. Not with how things are right now. But I want to be. We are a warrior race. We are supposed to train, and fight, and protect. We’re supposed to be formidable. We’re supposed to be feared. But with the way things are going, fewer and fewer of those things are remaining true. If we don’t change how things are run across these camps and light a fire under our soldiers’ asses, half of our people could be wiped out when the next war comes. The Illyrian race could cease to exist entirely, and our legacy will be left at the mercy of rhyme and tale. We can’t allow that to be the case.”
Azriel studies her.
Her passion is…intense, yes, but also strangely beautiful. There’s a ferocity in her eyes that is so rare among a people who live and breathe misery; whose lot in life is to die.
That doesn’t mean, of course, that he appreciates Tathaln’s scheming, nor Kaeda’s. But they’re not exactly wrong in that ambition is a rare commodity these days. Those who can train for the Illyrian army do so because it’s what is expected of them. Those who aren’t cut out for it make do with everyday jobs around camp. Nobody has pride or passion. Nobody is prepared for war.
So Azriel’s shoulders relax just a little, even though his scepticism remains very much present. “I still don’t understand why I am being scouted for this cause, though. Why not take it to the High Lord? Or why not get Rhysand on side?”
Kaeda shakes her head. “As my father explained, we simply don’t have enough backing to go to the High Lord about this idea — not yet. He knows of my father’s opinion and even agrees that things need to change, but such a complex idea requires careful handling. And conspiring with his son about it would surely not put us in his favour.”
“So…what? I’m the next best thing?”
“After Rhysand, you’re the most powerful, yes. Your influence could aid us greatly. I don’t think you realise how highly coveted you are. Every other camp is aware of the fact that Windhaven has a shadowsinger. And they’re equally aware that your abilities aren’t being put to their full potential under Lord Devlon’s command. Changes will be made whether you accept my father’s offer or not, Azriel. But the changes we’re proposing are the best ones. The right ones.”
“I don’t see what’s right about having to leave my friends — my brothers—”
“Gods, Azriel, just…just take the emotion out of this for five seconds and listen to me.”
Az’s jaw clenches. “I am listening.”
“Then hear me clearly. Change is coming. It’s inevitable. And one thing I can tell you with absolute certainty is that even if you weren’t to come to Fenlaros, you would still be separated from your friends, or your brothers, or whatever you call them.” She hovers close enough to touch, now, mere inches from him. “One thing I’ve picked up on in Windhaven is that Lord Devlon is very intimidated by the strength of you, Cassian and Rhysand being together. The older you get, the more powerful you’re becoming, and people are growing aware of that. Devlon intends to separate the three of you, and by any means necessary. He can’t risk the threat you pose to him. He’ll tear you apart.”
The information doesn’t surprise Az one bit. He’s sensed a growing panic amongst Devlon and his cronies. They don’t stand a chance against the future High Lord and his two closest friends. And Azriel doesn’t doubt that if physical separation didn’t work, the callous bastards would resort to something far, far worse. Or try, at least.
But still, none of this is making any fucking sense to him. He needs a stiff drink. Or twenty. “How would coming to Fenlaros solve that in any way?”
“Beating Devlon at his own game — separating yourself from your brothers — will lure him into a false sense of security. With you gone, it’ll be one less problem to worry about. He’ll let his guard down. Meanwhile, we’ll be building our influence here and forming a case that can be taken to the High Lord. With his support of our changes, we’ll have the power to do more. And then eventually…eventually, your brothers can join you here. When we have more ground to work on. My father would never begrudge the bond the three of you have. He’d see it as a positive…having three such powerful Illyrians under his command.”
Too much to think about. Way, way too much. Azriel just wants to get out of there. He wants to lie down in a dark room and pretend nothing and no one exists.
But he stares at Kaeda. And he asks, “And what of Y/N? Could she come here, too?”
There’s a very slight hesitance — small, but certainly there. But then she purses her lips, and she shrugs. “Whatever you want.”
He’s not sure she means it. And that…that’s a whole other rabbit hole he’s not sure he can face going down right now. Another situation entirely.
Before he can say anything else, Kaeda closes the gap between them. She cups his face and leans up, close enough that their mouths are almost touching.
“Just think about it. That’s all I ask.” She says. “I really do like you, Azriel. And I really do think we could have something. Think of what we could do here, together. Of what we could be. We could make history. Just…promise me you’ll think about it.”
His lips part with a response he hasn’t even thought of. But there’s no chance to speak it as Kaeda slants her mouth over his and kisses him slowly, softly. Deeply.
Her fingers sink into the strands of his hair, and she breathes a muted hum into his mouth. She tastes like peppermint and sugar, and she kisses as though she hasn’t just laid the weight of the world on Azriel’s shoulders.
And that weight might be why he’s stiff as a board, barely reacting. Or it might be the horrible feeling of dread that this is all wrong. He kissed another female, earlier today — and that kiss had felt like burning, eternal sunshine.
This one feels like…like a ploy.
“Just promise me.” She pulls away just enough to whisper. “Promise me you’ll think about it.”
There’s no way he can’t think about it. The seeds have been sown. And perhaps he feels a little slither of guilt for how rigid and cold he currently is, because he doesn’t shoot her plea down like he should.
He sucks in a slow breath and inclines his head.
“Okay.” He says. “I’ll think about it.”
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The fucking wall is Azriel’s fucking face.
At least, that’s what the fuck you tell yourself as you send a dagger hurtling at it and watch it bury its point into the surface. Another scuff mark to add to the growing smattering, all courtesy of you.
Fuck. Him.
You’re not sure you’ve ever felt so angry in your life, and Cauldron knows, you’ve had ample reason to. But this anger is…it’s consuming. It’s violent and jagged and nauseating. It’s claws sinking into your heart and your brain and dissecting everything that plagues you in both sleep and consciousness.
And it’s this severe because you care. You care so very much.
You’re sick of caring.
Why would he kiss you, after all that has happened since the last time? To taunt you? To grab your feelings in his fist and twist them? To practice on you?
And to think you almost gave in to that strange, carnal need to have his hands on you again. You cannot — will not — allow yourself to think about which deeper emotion or desire that need is rooted in. Thinking will lead only to realisations that may destroy you yet.
And he’s probably with Kaeda right now, too. Perhaps losing himself in her, forgetting all about you with the aid of her touch—
You scowl and march to the wall, yanking your dagger out. Your anger and your need to just…move, is keeping you warm, at least. Nighttime in the old armoury is about as pitiful as can be imagined, but the relentless cold is actually a strange…relief. It hurts in a satisfying way.
How fucking dare he, your mind chants, not for the first time, as you stalk back to your spot. How dare he treat you as though you’re nothing? You brace yourself and send the dagger hurtling towards the wall once again—
The door is suddenly bursting open, and the weapon only just misses Cassian’s face on its journey as he strides in, arms full of items you don’t care to look at.
He stops abruptly. Blinks. “Did you just throw a dagger at me?”
“No.” You immediately scowl, stalking over to retrieve it yet again. “Fuck you.”
“Ouch. Fuck you right back. I brought blankets and food.”
“Shove them up your ass.”
“I’d really rather not.” He kicks the door shut behind him and strides over to the pile of your scant belongings, dropping his items and freeing his arms. He turns back to you with raised eyebrows. “Is there a particular reason you’re acting like a little storm cloud, or is it just a way to pass the time?”
Finally, you sheath your blade — partly because you’re not sure you trust yourself with it right now. You face your friend, fully aware that you’re out of line and fully resentful of the fact.
“I had an argument with Az.” You admit, not even certain you mean to.
Cassian’s eyebrows raise. “Well, that explains why he nearly bit my head off earlier, too. What did you fight about?”
Do you tell him? Do you confess all your complicated, messed up feelings — the bizarre circumstances that brought them about — when you haven’t even sorted through them yourself? No. You can’t. It’s a bit too soon for that.
“It was…nothing.” You stalk over to your things. “Just nothing.”
“Doesn’t seem like nothing—”
“Thank you for bringing me these.” You toe a thick blanket with your boot.
Yet again, Cassian’s eyebrows go up. “Are you hinting at me to leave?”
“Just because I have to face the night in this hovel, doesn’t mean you should be subjected to the same fate. I wouldn’t expect that of you.”
“Well, fucking expect it, because I’m staying—”
“Cass—”
“Come here.” He opens his arms. “Right now.”
You stare at him. And in that instant, with him seeing you — seeing everything you are, everything you’re feeling, what you need — your anger simmers, and it threatens to turn into tears.
“You clearly need a hug.” He points out softly. “And I’ve missed you this past week. So come here.”
In an instant, you crumble. You’re stepping forward and damn near falling into Cassian’s arms. He catches you, just like he always catches you.
His arms band around you, warmer and more secure than any blanket. He pulls you tightly against him, and you allow your arms to snake around his waist. It’s only then that you realise how much you need the firmness of his body to hold you up. He’s like a huge, supporting wall that stops you sinking to your knees.
“I’m so sad.” You whisper, nestling your face into his chest. His scent and his warmth permeate his clothes, and they combine and wash over you in a soothing combination.
“I know.” His broad hand cups the back of your head. “Everything is a huge mess right now. But we’re going to get through it — together.”
You hate that you can’t believe him; not right now. Everything is too up in the air, too uncertain. A dark mass has followed you around this camp for the entirety of your life, and it’s closer than ever to closing in and snuffing out who you are.
“How can you be so sure?” You ask. “I don’t think I have the strength to fight anymore, Cass.”
He pulls back to study you. To cup your face and look into your eyes. “Yes.” He says firmly. “You do. You always have and you always will. There is nothing — nothing — you can’t face. I truly believe that, Y/N.”
Staring back at him feels just like…like the night in the cottage, when you lost yourself in him. Him being there for you, speaking the words that are so hard to believe and yet so what you need to hear. The same urge arises in you to give over to those feelings. Do something for yourself for once.
You think Cassian might read that thought on your face. Perhaps you wear it shamelessly.
He studies you closely — studies you hard. And his throat bobs as his eyes flit down to your lips.
“Y/N.” He says. “Let me make you feel good.”
You swallow, also. And you don’t need to think about it. “Yes.” You nod. “Yes.”
In a flash, he’s closing the gap between you, his mouth finding yours. The hot and heavy weight of his lips is a relief. One that makes you release a soft sigh.
You don’t let yourself think about the fact that you were kissing Azriel in this very building only earlier. Nor about the fact that it could have gone much further than that. Cassian gives you himself, and you take, your hands bunching in his jacket as you haul him against you.
His hand fists in your hair, tilting your face up to him. And as his mouth stains yours with his urgent need, he’s backing you up, walking you back and back until you collide with that very table that Az kissed you on earlier. Cassian picks you up in an easy sweep and places you on the tabletop. He parts your legs and slots himself in between, his mouth never once leaving yours, never once faltering.
Until he parts from you and says, “Lie back.”
With his hand guiding you down, you do just that. You sprawl out on that table, anticipation coiling in your stomach. It warms you from the inside, makes your skin too hot and your clothes too heavy.
Cassian doesn’t mess around with teasing or taunting. He drags his hands over your breasts, your stomach, and down to the laces at your breeches. You don’t care about the cold air. You lift your hips and wish only for him to undo those laces faster. You want your skin bare, and his touch marking it.
“I didn’t get to taste you last time.” Your friend pants, pressing a kiss to your abdomen. “Will you let me now?”
Goosebumps erupt over you skin. You grip onto the edges of the table and breathe, desperately. “Yes. Please.”
So boldly, he yanks your breeches and undergarments down in one go. His fingers find the very centre of you, already soaked, already ready for him. What he finds there makes him groan.
“Here? You’ll let me taste you here?”
“Please.” You pant again. “Just…please, Cass. I need this.”
“I know.” A kiss lands on your skin. “I know.”
His hands drag down your legs at the same time he sinks to his knees. You bow your head forward — just to watch the predatory grace with which he aligns his face with your sex. He licks his lips like you’ve presented him with his most carnal desire.
He inhales slowly — breathes in your scent. A growl rips from his throat.
And then he dives right in.
His tongue licks a stripe up your centre, from your entrance, up to your clit. Your hips buck at the contact, one hand moving to bunch within his hair. As his tongue swirls over your clit, pleasure barrels through you that ends in a cry.
“Your taste is fucking divine.” Cass groans, and his hands pry your legs further apart. He wastes no time in lapping at your juices, damn near fucking drinking you down. He drinks and drinks like a male parched. “Gods, Y/N.”
“More.” You gasp, thrusting your hips towards him. You grind your cunt against his face, and you can’t stop your body jerking, your head lolling back. “Gods, Cass, more.”
“More?” His teeth graze against the sensitive nub. “Tell me what you need.”
“Your mouth. Fingers. You.”
A delicious, sinful chuckle, so incredibly deep and lilting, breaks from Cass and vibrates against you. He lands a harsh suck on your clit. “I love how filthy you are.”
And he shows you how much he loves it, as one finger suddenly gathers up your wetness and teases your entrance. You moan, plead, beg him to slip it into you. He does so at the same time that he fastens his lips to your clit and strokes at it with his tongue.
You feel him smile against you. Your responses seem to provide him with almost as much pleasure as your touch would.
“Just like that.” He growls the words onto you, sliding his finger out and back in — adds a second one. “Take what you need. Fuck my fingers.”
You need this pleasure. This release. He has no idea how much you need it. Nobody does. You need to feel like somebody else, feel like you’re somewhere else. You need to feel something other than…blinding pain.
And so you take what you fucking need, undulating your hips and moving yourself on his fingers, against his tongue. Cassian follows your lead, keeps up with your pace. As your moans pick up, so do the thrusts of his hand.
“Going to come for me?” His hand moves faster. “Come around my fingers?”
“Yes.” You throw your head back. “Fuck—Cass.”
“Come.” He growls. “Want to feel you.”
It’s as if your body is fully under his command, because the words have your climax bursting through your body and chasing you from every negative feeling that’s been plaguing you. It feels beautifully catastrophic, fucking mind-altering. It feels like an out of body experience.
You know, somewhere in your mind, that you’re being loud, but you don’t give a single damn. You welcome your orgasm and allow it to consume you. You allow your loud, gasping noises to echo around the building.
But perhaps it’s the loud volume of those noises that prevents both you and Cass from hearing the door open behind you. Perhaps it’s the heat of your passion that makes you immune to the sudden gust of cold air.
Whatever it is, neither of you notice a third presence until a voice bellows behind you.
“Cauldron fucking boil me, my eyes!”
Both you and Cass rise with a start, you scrambling to cover yourself. A horrified expression stares back at you both.
“Roza.” You both say at the same time. Both blink in shock, too.
Rhysand’s mother covers her eyes with her hand and turns her back to you.
“Please correct yourselves before you traumatise me any more.” She says. “Can’t turn my back on you idiots for five gods-damn minutes.”
azriel tags: @dream-alittlebiggerdarling @sirenpearldust @queercodedcharacter @azriels-shadowsinger @ruler-of-hades @demi03 @magicaldragonlady @abrielletargaryen @ralsieq @v3lv3tf0x @achase2002 @feyretopia @hayrunnwr @don’t-feed-the-hipsters @brekkershadowsinger @piceous21 @bloodicka @acourtofinkandpapyrus @riri-is-agirlie @siriusement @4valyries @socmono @azriels-mate123 @acourtofbatboydreams @katherinearcheron @nesemi @lupinswolfsbanes @dreaming-unafraid @dxnniiix @cyrygher @liddyr03 @lmllsl @nightless @teenageeggscissorslawyer @brighterthanlonelythoughts @blitz-fall @maybefoxysouls @mschanand1erbong @juiceboxreads @bangtanbecks @florencemtrash @hyemishii @obixix @thenovarose @meshellexplosionmurder @angzlxna @lissy31xoxo-blog @supernatural99 @positivewitch @art3-m1ss @milfhunter-pdx @bbuckysbeardd
#azriel#azriel shadowsinger#azriel x reader#shadowsinger x reader#azriel acotar#azriel x you#azriel fic#acotar#a court of thorns and roses#acotar fandom#acotar x reader#acotar writing#acotar fanfic#acotar headcanon#acotar smut#acotar series#acotar fic#azriel fanfiction#azriel fanfic#reader insert#illyrians#rhysand#cassian
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The Ballad of Blunt Pencil & Pizza Wheel
Pairing: Benedict Bridgerton x fem!reader, modern AU
Summary: Comedy texting fic. Childhood frenemies moving in together is a great idea. Isn't it?
Warnings: None really. Swearing, references to sex, masturbation, dirty talk and spanking. Frenemies to lovers. Comedy. A fuckton of sass. Bridgerton family shenanigans.
Word Count: 3.9k tricky with text fics ngl
Author's Note: Request fill for Anon (who wanted Ben and reader to have been secretly in love with each other and get together after she has a breakup). It might be slightly unusual, but it’s what the muse insisted on as a response. Thanks to the ever-patient @colettebronte, who willingly reads my silliness, including a partial version of this nonsense. Enjoy! <3
BB: *Fraggle Rock theme tune*
Y/N: Why don't you just say hello like a normal person? Y/N: *Insert sighing emoji here* (I can't be arsed to find it)
BB: Excuse me, this is actually a very supportive message BB: I heard from El you got dumped
Y/N: And how does an 80s kids' show theme song help me with that??
BB: Have you paid attention to the opening line??
Y/N: No…? Y/N: Too busy enjoying the rocking guitar tbh
BB: Fair BB: 🎶Dance your cares away, worries for another day🎶 BB: See?? supportive
Y/N: You are so weird Y/N: And also oddly accurate. He was a total muppet
BB: It’s taken you 30 years to figure that out?? BB: Sorry to hear it
Y/N: No, just… appreciating it. Well, you Y/N: Thank you, by the way
BB: 🫶😀
—
3 weeks later
Y/N: What is the capital of Burundi? Pub quiz is getting fractious
BB: Why don't you cheat like every other team and just use Google? BB: Why bother old friends?
Y/N: Oh, I'm sorry, Mr Charisma, I didn't realise your Tuesday night was so busy
BB: Friends don't leave friends who love pub quizzes out of their pub quiz teams 😛
Y/N: You're cute when you sulk Y/N: So… the answer?
BB: I’m not Jeeves BB: Look it up yourself
Y/N: Wow, you really are such a blunt pencil
BB: ??
Y/N: Pointless
BB: Alright, pizza wheel
Y/N: ??
BB: All edge, no point
Y/N: *has left the conversation*
BB: Typing it doesn't make it happen
Y/N: *HAS LEFT THE CONVERSATION*
BB: Neither does yelling it pizza wheel
Y/N: Don't make me call you pencil boy…
—
5 weeks later
Y/N: Pencil boy, it happened again
BB: Yeah… definitely don't like that BB: What did?
Y/N: Send TV theme…
BB: *Fraggle rock theme intensifies*
Y/N: Thank you
BB: No problems BB: Sorry to hear it
Y/N: Me too. Really thought this one would stick Y/N: He even liked my Cabbage Patch kids
BB: You still have that shit?! BB: They are low-key terrifying
Y/N: He did turn them all around when we had sex though 🤔
BB: Got his number?
Y/N: Why??
BB: Sort of agree with him on that. Might want to be his friend, not yours
Y/N: Shut up, Pencil Boy
BB: Pizza Wheel BB: We have to stop flirting like this 👀
Y/N: Pffft Y/N: This isn’t flirting
BB: Isn’t it?
Y/N: Are your clothes still on?
BB: Well, yeah…
Y/N: Then it’s not my style of flirting
BB: Bit slutty (supportive)
Y/N: The brackets saved you there, Pencil Boy
BB: Well aware BB: You’ll be okay. There’s someone better out there for you BB: Someone who appreciates Cabbage Patch kids
Y/N: THANK YOU. Was that so hard?
—
4 days later
Y/N: Can I call you?
BB: Yes of course BB: What’s wrong?
Y/N: Best explained over the phone
BB: Okay. I’m here BB: Whatever you need
2 hours later
Y/N: Thank you friend Y/N: Just… thank you
BB: Anytime 🧡 BB: I meant what I said BB: If you need it, it’s yours
Y/N: You are a great and wonderful friend Y/N: I may well do so 🧡
BB: You are always welcome here. For as long as you need
Y/N: 🫂😘
—
1 day later
CB: You invited Y/N to move in with you?!?!
AB: 😳 Surely not?!?! AB: He can only have one colossally bad idea a week and that hoodie was a choice
BB: Good evening to you too brothers BB: Hope you’re well BB: I'm fine, thanks. You?
CB: Yeah yeah whatever CB: I don't see a denial here
BB: 🤷
AB: You fucking idiot
BB: Why? I’m trying to help a friend here BB: I thought it was a nice thing to do?
CB: It is
AB: Usually
CB: There’s just one problem
AB: You are completely in love with her and have been since you were 5
BB: Pffft BB: Please…
CB: That’s your denial?? CB: Even I could do a more convincing job than that
BB: Pen would suggest otherwise…
AB: Don’t fling mud to distract AB: We are talking about your stupidity atm, not his
CB: Oi
AB: Don’t even
BB: Listen… she just got dumped for the 100th time BB: Her flatmate is moving out cos they lost their job BB: She can’t afford the rent on her own or a place by herself at the moment cos she’s still burdened with debt resettlement from her criminal asshat ex from 2 years ago BB: She needs to be in London for her job and her parents have moved to Wales BB: What would you have done?
CB: Tell her to move in with El? CB: Or literally any of her other friends?!
BB: Well I have a spare room…
AB: So does El
BB:
AB: Memes? Really?
CB: You’re just jealous cos you can’t figure out text attachments
AB: Shut up
CB: Kate thinks it’s hilarious
AB: Leave my wife out of this
*BB has left the group*
*AB added BB back into the group*
AB: You don’t get to quit being our brother
BB: Shame
3 minutes later
CB: Wait… What did you mean about Pen?
AB: How can you be this stupid? I paid for you to go to Eton…
*BB has left the group*
AB: Can’t fault him this time tbh
*AB has left the group*
CB: Rude…
—
1 week later
EB: I have a spare room y'know
Y/N: I’m aware
EB: So why subject yourself to Ben?
Y/N: You are all so horrible about each other
EB: And you love to watch it
Y/N: 🤷♀️🍿 Y/N: Anyway, I’m here now Y/N: He bought new bedding for me 🥹 Y/N: I didn’t have the heart to tell him I already have 4 sets
EB: I know he’s my brother and thus deserving of shit. But don’t torture him too much
Y/N: What the fuck are you talking about?
EB: I suspect he has a leeedle crush on you tbh
Y/N: Pffft Y/N: No he doesn’t Y/N: All we do is call each other names and snark Y/N: It’s been that way since 1994. I don’t see it changing anytime soon
EB: It’s like she’s never read Shakespeare
Y/N: That’s BenedicK, not BenedicT
EB: Funny how you knew exactly what play I was referring to, Beatrice
5 seconds later
Y/N: Gen… Is Ben into me?!
GD: What’s brought this on?
Y/N: Answer the question!
GD: Why are you asking me if my ex likes you?
Y/N: Please… You fucked like twice 3 years ago and are still friends Y/N: Don’t pretend there is any trauma here Y/N: I’d really like to know, seeing as I’ve just moved in with him
GD: You fucking did WHAT?! GD: Why?!
Y/N: I needed a new place Y/N: He was the first to offer
GD: What kind of rash reason is that?! GD: I have a spare room GD: El has a spare room GD: Dave and the gambling debts in your name weren’t bad enough…? GD: It’s like you’re actively trying to live in a Greek tragedy, I swear
Y/N: Don’t invoke that shit’s name
GD: Sorry GD: But really…
Y/N: So you’re saying he’s into me
GD: For an intelligent woman, you know fuck all GD: Even about yourself
Y/N: Why are all my friends so rude to me?!
GD: Bitch please. You are so in love with him
Y/N: I’m not
GD: Yes you are GD: He’s always the first person you text when you have a breakup
Y/N: Yeah… cos he’s the only one of my friends who ISN'T RUDE TO ME
GD: OR you always want him to be the first to know you’re single again
Y/N: Not sure I want to be your friend anymore
GD: Fine. Give me back my Canada Goose coat
Y/N: Let's not be too hasty now…
—
2 days later
BB: Do we have milk?
Y/N: How should I know? I don’t drink the stuff
BB: Aren’t you working from home today?
Y/N: Yeah? And?
BB: You have these amazing things called legs…
Y/N: I have a block button too y’know
BB: You wouldn't block the hero who single-handedly removed 2 spiders from your room last night
Y/N: … … Fiiiiine
20 seconds later
Y/N: We, or rather YOU, could do with some more
BB: Okay. Thank you
Y/N: If you’re in the mood, I wouldn't say no to some cheesecake
BB: I’m not in the mood BB: Mostly because you are lactose intolerant and won't stop bitching about the regret afterwards BB: I’ll get you some non-dairy brownies
Y/N: What kind of flatmate are you?
BB: The awful kind who looks out for your best interests
Y/N: Urghhh, the very worst
—
3 days later
Y/N: Bennnnnnn!! BEN!! SOS!!! Y/N: ANOTHER 🕷️
BB: It’s fucking 3am
Y/N: That's why I texted Y/N: So much politer than screaming and banging on your wall Y/N: It’s not my fault you live on some kind of spider superhighway Y/N: I never would have moved in here if I knew
BB: It’s harmless. Go back to sleep
Y/N: What about if this time it’s some poisonous one that crawled from a Shein package? And you wake up to a dead flatmate?
BB: Arguably, that’s appropriate payback for your endorsement of such a horrendous company
Y/N: I don't judge you for your odd shelf of little rocks Y/N: So don’t judge me for my sparkly shoe addiction
BB: How about I lend you a rock to throw at the spiders?
Y/N: How could you?!? I don't wish death upon them Y/N: Just for them to live their lives nowhere within my vicinity Y/N: You know you would have been back to sleep by now if you had just come in here?
BB: I’m aware BB: I have no idea why I’m still arguing with you on text BB: Slightly worried what that says about me tbh
Y/N: IT’S MOVING TOWARDS ME
BB: omw
—
9 days later
KB: You guys need to stop
Y/N: What? Y/N: Why are you texting from my kitchen?
KB: Look at yourself KB: It’s not your kitchen. It’s my brother-in-law’s
Y/N: I live here too, Kate
KB: And you need to stop
Y/N: STOP WHAT?
KB: Do you see where your feet are?
Y/N: ??On the sofa??
KB: They are in Ben’s lap
Y/N: And??
KB: He has his hands wrapped around your ankles
Y/N: And?? Y/N: I get cold. He helps me sometimes
KB: When are you guys going to admit to what is happening here
Y/N: NOTHING IS HAPPENING
KB: Sure Jan
Y/N: Get back over here with the Monster Munch. I need Netflix snacks, not judgement
KB: I’m just saying… I pulled this shit with Ant and you rightly called me on it
Y/N: MONSTER MUNCH KATE
KB: Don’t glare over at me like that. Way to make it fucking obvious…
2 seconds later
*BB added KB and Y/N to a new group*
BB: What are you two arguing about?!
Y/N: Mind ya business, Pencil Boy
KB: Your lack of decent snacks
BB: Not my area. She is responsible for all junk food purchases in this household. I will not be held liable.
3 seconds later
KB: Pencil boy??
Y/N: It's a long story
4 seconds later
*AB added KB, BB & Y/N to a new group*
AB: ARE WE WATCHING THIS FUCKING FILM OR NOT?!
—
1 month later
Y/N: Gen… I fucked up
GD: What did you do??
Y/N: I should never have moved in here
GD: Yeah, I told you that weeks ago GD: Why the sudden revelation?
Y/N: He has a girl here
GD: And?
Y/N: I can hear them… thru the wall
GD: Yikes GD: Go for a walk or something
Y/N: No Gen. It's worse Y/N: So much worse Y/N: I can hear what he is saying
GD: GO FOR A WALK
Y/N: Gen help Y/N: Help Y/N: H.E.L.P. Y/N: It's turning me on…
GD: I DIDN'T NEED TO KNOW ANY OF THIS!
Y/N: I had no idea he was a dirty talker
GD: I could have told you that…
Y/N: Why didn't you?!
GD: Why would that ever be relevant to our friendship?!
Y/N: You know that’s my weakness Y/N: You should have WARNED ME
GD: HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO PREDICT YOU WOULD EAVESDROP ON HIM HAVING SEX?!
Y/N: This is so awful Y/N: I don't know what to do Y/N: I’m in a quandary Y/N: A damp quandary
GD: Eww T-M-FUCKING-I
Y/N: I might as well just masturbate at this point
GD: I am hanging up on this text thread GD: I’m also off to put this phone in Dettol. Don't text me again for another few days
—
2 days later
BB: Why are you avoiding me?
Y/N: I’m not
BB: Yes you are BB: You haven't been home the last two nights BB: El said you’ve been hanging around her place
Y/N: Ok fine. I am Y/N: This is so awkward Y/N: I… I heard you Y/N: Having sex Y/N: I’m weirded out, okay?
BB: Shit… BB: I’m so sorry BB: I thought you were out on a date
Y/N: It got rescheduled
BB: I'm so sorry BB: Next time I have company, I will double-check if you are home first
Y/N: Thank you Y/N: I will do the same
BB: Much appreciated BB: So, will you come home? BB: There’s a new series of The Cleaner tonight
Y/N: It's not real blood, you know?
BB: I know, but it looks like it
Y/N: You can't keep hiding behind me. You miss key plot points. It's a comedy show, you know
BB: Just get back here, Pizza Wheel
Y/N: Calm down, Pencil Boy I’m on my way
—
9 days later
BB: Send him home
Y/N: ??
BB: You heard me
Y/N: Why are you eavesdropping on my Tinder hookup?
BB: Don’t make me come in there and be a caveman about this. Just… BB: SEND HIM HOME
Y/N: I need sex
BB: Not from a twat like that you don’t BB: When he is out of the bathroom, I want you to send him away
Y/N: … Fine
3 minutes later
BB: Thank you
Y/N: You owe me a bloody orgasm
BB: He was likely incapable of giving you one BB: When you are sober, you will thank me BB: And probably regret that last comment
Y/N: I regret nothing Y/N: I DARE you Benedict fucking Bridgerton Y/N: I fucking DARE you to give me an orgasm
4 hours later
Y/N: Gen Gen Gen GENNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN Y/N: I know it's 2am, you are probably asleep, but I have to tell you smthg right the fuck nowwww Y/N: So, Ben went all protector shit on a loser I picked up on Tinder Y/N: Made me throw him out Y/N: I bitched that he owed me an orgasm Y/N: Might have been a bit too sassy, too many drinks Y/N: Anyway GENNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN Y/N: GENNNNNNNNNNNNNNN Y/N: He stomps into my room, and god, he just…. Y/N: ARGHHHHHHHH Gen, he just took me, like respectfully, but also not at all respectfully Y/N: HE GAVE ME TWO Y/N: I am floating on a cloud. I can't feel my fucking knees Y/N: My flatmate is the best fuck I have EVER had Y/N: THIS IS TERRIBLE AND WONDERUL Y/N: I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH MY LIFE Y/N: HELP Y/N: PS Pls don't tell anyone
20 seconds later
BB: Stop freaking out about what just happened and come back to bed
Y/N: Ben we just…
BB: I know. Active, enthusiastic participant here BB: Don’t spiral about it. Just come back to bed BB: We can talk in the morning
Y/N: Did we just ruin everything?
BB: How is that not spiralling? BB: Get your lovely arse out of the bathroom and back in this bed, y/n, or istg I will spank it
Y/N: 😲🥵
BB: Oh I see. Hmm BB: Good to know 😜
—
5 hours later
GD: WHAT THE SERIOUS FUCK?!?!?!?! GD: THIS IS WHAT I WAKE UP TO?! GD: WHY DO YOU LIVE LIKE THIS?!? GD: CALL ME!!!!
2 hours later
EB: Why aren’t you at work today? Are you sick? EB: Did the Shein spider get you?
1 hour later
EB: I guess it did EB: Serves you right 😛
1 hour later
GD: WHY THE FUCK HAVEN’T YOU CALLED ME BACK YET? GD: I must have left like 10 missed calls by now
2 hours later
AB: Not to sound like a total dick, I know we’re family etc., but you are supposed to tell me if you’re taking a day off work Ben AB: Even nepo babies have some responsibilities
30 minutes later
KB: Why are Gen and El wondering where you are? KB: Text them, and also me now, too KB: I’m vaguely concerned but mostly nosey tbh
2 hours later
EB: ?????????
1 hour later
GD: Call me bitch.
2 hours later
CB: Where the fuck are you Ben? CB: You never miss boys' night down The Ship normally?
30 mins later
Y/N: Uh hi 👋 Y/N: Sorry… Y/N: I uhh have been busy today
EB: Gen and I were ABOUT TO SEND OUT A SEARCH PARTY
Y/N: Please tell her I’m okay Y/N: I will call. Just not now
EB: Where are you?
Y/N: At home
EB: I am coming over!
Y/N: Please don’t
EB: Why not?
Y/N: Another time Y/N: I know I’m being all mysterious and shit Y/N: I will explain everything I promise
EB: Is Ben there?
Y/N: Yes
EB: Then tell him to look after you EB: I’m weirded out, you weirdo
Y/N: Oh he will Y/N: I promise you he will Y/N: I errr won't be at work tomorrow either. Can you tell the boss?
EB: Are you sick?!
Y/N: Umm… yeah, let's go with that
EB: STOP BEING SO WEIRD
5 seconds later
BB: El, y/n is fine
EB: How is this any of your business?
BB: You literally asked for me to look after her 5 seconds ago
EB: How do you know that?! EB: Are you reading her texts?!
BB: She is showing them to me
EB: WHY!?! EB: What is this cloak and dagger shit?! EB: Did you fuck or something? Lol
1 minute later
EB: DID YOU?!?
1 minute later
EB: Y/N DID YOU FUCK MY BROTHER?!?
1 minute later
*EB added BB & Y/N to a new group*
EB: Answer me, you sneaky bitches
BB: We would appreciate some privacy at this time
10 seconds later
*EB added KB, AB, CB, PF, DB and SB to a new group*
EB: BEN AND Y/N ARE FUCKING
SB: Hello sister-in-law. Long time no chat. So lovely for us to catch up this way
EB: Don’t sass me Bassett
PF: Err okay. Why… why am I on this Bridgerton family chat?
EB: Bitch please, you are family. Well, you will be soon
PF: ??
*CB removed PF from the group*
AB: Subtle
DB: Super smooth
*EB added PF to the group*
EB: IS NO ONE GOING TO RESPOND TO THIS LIFE-ALTERING NEWS?
KB: I mean… we all knew it was going to happen
CB: Surprised he held out this long tbh
DB: He’s been in love with her since we were kids
EB: I thought he just fancied her a bit?!?!
AB: And they call ME the unobservant one?!
*PF left the group*
CB: Look what you did
*EB added PF to the group*
KB: Why did I marry into this family?
SB: I’ll take you for a drink sometime. You too Pen.
PF: ??
EB: You’re all useless.
—
2 days later
GD: *sings Where Do You Go by No Mercy tunelessly in your general direction* GD: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yt-KMPvgKPo
Y/N: Awful but also bangin cheese choon for a Sunday evening ngl
GD: SHE LIVES!! GD: El seemed to think you have been having nonstop sex since Thursday. GD: She’s also not handling that idea very well—lots of tequila.
Y/N: Not enough songs only have about 7 lyrics anymore. I miss the 90s.
GD: Avoiding that statement, huh?
Y/N: I will not dignify it with a response
GD: So that’s a yes
Y/N: 👀
8 days later
BB: I hate having a job 😘
Y/N: Me too… 😘 Y/N: I’ll be naked when you get home if that's any consolation
BB: I’m leaving now
Y/N: It’s only 11am lol Y/N: Stay there. I will see you later. It will be worth the wait. 😉
BB: You have been. BB: And I don't just mean today 😘
Y/N: 🥹 😘
56 days later
AB: Is this email for real?
BB: Yes. Yes, it is
AB: Wow. OK then AB: Congratulations
BB: Thank you. I'm very happy
AB: We can tell, brother, we can tell
1 hour later
*KB added Y/N, SB & PF to a new group*
KB: Y/N, we meet every Wednesday for drinks.
SB: Welcome to the fam, soon-to-be Mrs Bridgerton. It sucks; you are going to love it.
PF: Still not sure why I'm invited, but god, you guys are so much bloody fun I don't even care, lol.
10 seconds later
Y/N: Are you going to tell Pen, or should I?
KB: Naaahhh. It's more fun this way KB: Another very smart woman with a complete Bridgerton brother blindspot
Y/N: That sounds pointed
KB: You and me both, sister. You and me both.
Benedict taglist pt1: @makaylan @longingintheuniverse @iboopedyournose @colettebronte @aintnuthinbutahounddog @severewobblerlightdragon @writergirl-2001 @heeyyyou @enichole445 @enchantedbytomandhenry @ambitionspassionscoffee @chaoticcalzoneranchsports @nikaprincessofkattegat @baebee35 @crowleysqueenofhell @fiction-is-life @lilacbeesworld @broooookiecrisp @queen-of-the-misfit-toys @eleanor-bradstreet @divaanya @musicismyoxygen84 @miindfucked @sorryallonsy @cayt0123 @hottytoddyhistory @fictionalmenloversblog @zinzysstuff @malpalgalz @panhoeofmanyfandoms @kinokomoonshine @causeimissu @delehosies @m-rae23 @last-sheep @kmc1989 @ferns-fics @corpseoftrees-queen @magical-spit @bunnyweasley23 @how-many-stars-in-the-sky @hanji-emo-blog @sya-skies @urfavnoirette
#benedict bridgerton fanfiction#benedict bridgerton#benedict bridgerton fluff#benedict bridgerton imagine#bridgerton fanfiction#bridgerton#bridgerton fluff#bridgerton imagine#benedict bridgerton x reader#benedict bridgerton x female reader#benedict bridgerton x you#benedict bridgerton x y/n#bridgerton x reader#bridgerton x female reader#bridgerton x you#bridgerton x y/n
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RIDE OR DIE: l.jn smau
004: tell me — wc: 1.5k
“TELL ME TELL ME T-T-T-T-T-TELL ME.”
marks words deafened you through the phone, causing you to have to move it away from your ear, cringing in the process.
“calm the fuck down, okay, i’ll tell you.” you say, and mark only refrains from yelling anymore once you begin the story.
relaying it from start to finish.
FLASHBACK: A FEW HOURS AGO: Q BLOCK
you were going to miss it, that’s all that was on your mind.
your legs were beginning to betray you as you climbed the stairs to the second floor corridor, your previous ‘logic’ that the stairs would be quicker than the elevator quickly betraying you too.
technically, you were supposed to ask before you took equipment from the college, and taking it without any former notice was classed as a biggggg mistake. you did not want to have to pay the fine they’d make you pay if they found out you were stealing their supplies without permission.
so you made it in your best effort to be as quick and as stealthy as you could.
finding the door, you pressed it open, hastily rushing inside and clicking the door shut behind you.
you eyed the shelves, calculator upon calculator, pens upon pens, stacking each row.
one of each, and then get out, you told yourself.
filling your bag with the equipment you needed, you rushed around the room.
but before you could reach the final item, fingers brushing over the case of the erasers, you heard the door click.
someone was coming inside.
deciding to leave the erasers and praying you would hopefully be a graph-drawing genius in your exam and turn out to not need one, you shut your bag, throwing yourself behind a shelf and invisible from whoever was making their way from the door.
you heard them breathing heavily. whoever it was, was in a rush too.
after a few minutes of rustling around, the room grew silent, and you assumed whoever this stranger was, had left.
just to make sure, you peered around the corner of the shelf.
what you saw, who you saw…
you grew still with shock.
clad in a green and black, F1 drivers jacket, was none other than samo.
his back faced you, his face, like usual, not at all visible.
nearly falling, you hit your wrist on the side of the shelf in attempt to save yourself from making too much noise.
but your attempt was futile.
he heard the sound of your wrist against the steel bar of the shelf.
he heard that there was someone in the room with him.
and he turned around.
you looked up at him, his eyes on you, and your eyes on him.
no, that wasn’t an F1 driver
that wasn’t samo.
that was lee jeno, the guy in your math class who hates everyone.
the guy who hates you.
not that you’d ever spoken to him, not until then.
you were still, unmoving, and his eyes widened as he realised that you’d seen his face. that you’d pieced it all together.
lee jeno is samo.
samo is lee jeno.
the word you wanted to say (which was, ‘what?’) was quickly interrupted by jenos panicked movements, rushing over to you to help you up from behind the shelf.
“are you okay?” he asked, quietly.
right now? he’s asking if i'm okay, right now?, you questioned to yourself.
you nodded, unable to speak, to ask any questions.
once you were on your feet, he looked down at his jacket and then back to you.
“shit.” he whispered, as if he was finally coming to terms with the fact that a stranger, you, had seen his real identity.
he cracked his neck, seemingly deep in thought on how to handle this situation. but you spoke up instead.
“look, i don’t care who you are. i really don’t. in fact, i hate samo, i think he’s a fake celebrity who feeds on the fact that people don’t know what his face looks like.” you said, trying to ease the situation and accidentally offending the man in front of you in the process.
he laughed at you, tilting his head and raising a brow.
“that’s not quite what i meant…” you continued, once you realised how that probably sounded.
“i know.” he said softly, mind elsewhere. “but, i don’t know you. how do i know i can trust you?” his eyes were serious, expression stern.
“you don’t, and you can’t.”
“so you’re gonna go tell everyone, that’s it?” he was more concerned now, all amusement in his face, gone, replaced with a stone cold visage.
as he spoke, he crept his body to the door, blocking any chance you’d have to sneaking out. not until you’d discussed this with him, not until he was certain you wouldn’t tell anyone.
“i’m the first one, aren’t i?” you asked. he looked confused, face asking you to elaborate. “i’m the first person you’ve had to accidentally find out. and now you don’t know what to do.”
his jaw tensed, and that’s how you knew you’d hit the nail on the head. “okay then. i have a solution for your… dilemma.”
it was stupid, but you saw the perfect opportunity arising from this entire conversation.
you see, you knew jeno’s dad was your professor. and truly? you didn’t care about jeno being samo, sure it was shocking to discover, but it had no effect on you or your life, whatsoever. so why not make it benefit you? and in the meantime, you could benefit him. it was the perfect deal.
“i won’t tell anyone,” you started, “if…”
his eyes hardened at the two letter word, fixed on the ground.
“if?” he asked, annoyed by your pause.
“you get your dad to bump my grade on every assignment until we graduate.”
slowly, his eyes gravitated from the ground, and to your face, trying to read you.
but it took mere seconds for him to provide you with an answer.
“okay.”
you reached out your hand to shake his, and he eyed your palm before complying, encasing his fingers around yours and shaking your hand.
and so that was it. your deal was made. whilst you, with the word of promise to stay silent about his hidden identity as the neoculture driver, samo, he would somehow convince his father to bump your grade.
but as you began to turn to pick up your bag, jeno stopped you in your tracks.
“wait.” he said, stepping closer to you.
you turned back to him. “what.”
“don’t you think it’ll be suspicious?”
“what do you mean?”
“me, telling my dad to bump the grade of a random girl in his class. you don’t think he’ll wonder why?”
you frowned. but surely he’ll understand since he knows that-
“he doesn’t know you’re samo?” you asked
“why else do you think i have to hide my face. why else do you think i go to college.”
“for him..”
he nodded.
wow.
this whole time you’d thought samo was self-absorbed, money hungry. when really, he was just some college guy with a strict dad.
“well, i guess you’re right, he’s not going to do it for no reason.” you told him.
you saw jeno’s eyes glisten, like an idea had formed in his mind and he was dying to let it out.
“okay then. let’s tell them we’re dating.”
“what?”
“he’d do it for my girlfriend.”
“so?”
“be my fake girlfriend, yn.”
FLACKBACK OVER: PRESENT TIME
mark screams over the phone, “NO WAYYY DUDEEEEE. SO SAMO IS JENO????? AND NOW JENO IS FAKE DATING YOU?????”
“yes,” you whisper, “please shut the fuck up, mark. you have roommates! they’re going to hear you!”
“noones in. but wait, wait, wait, aren’t you going against the deal by telling me?”
“well, no technically not… you know that guy jaemin from chemistry?”
“mhm”
“i asked jeno who else knows and he said that jaemin is the only person he’s ever told”
“yooooooooooo”
“so i also asked him if he’s gonna tell jaemin that me being his girlfriend is fake and he said he’s going to. and then i asked if i could have one person to tell too.”
“AND YOU CHOSE ME???? AWWWWWW YNNNNNN” mark yells, again.
“can you stop yelling, PLEASE?”
“i’m sorry this is just so exciting, dude.”
you laugh.
truly, mark is wayyyy more excited than you are.
“wait, wait, wait,” mark says again. “what about chenle?”
“what about him?”
“you know, your big fat crush on him?”
“oh, right. he’s just my hallway crush, you know, he’s never going to actually like me.”
“you never know.”
“don’t put those delusions in my head, i'm a taken woman now!”
“fake taken doesn’t count, man.”
you stay on the phone with mark for hours, joking about your new deal with jeno, droning on to him about how good chenle looks in his new instagram post, complaining to him about the math exam you missed but then remembering that, thanks to jeno, you’re probably going to get an A anyways.
everything in your life is suddenly changing, in better ways than worse.
but for jeno? his world is about to turn upside down.
previous : mlist : next
notes; subtle foreshadowing🤨, but Q block gate has been REVEALED 😪 also communities are apparently a thing on tumblr now? so i made an nct one!!! the link to join is here if ur interested lol and sorry for such a late update tonight this took me a while!! 😣
taglist — open! @jenohyun @jirsungs @do-you-remember-summer-127 @ddolbyong @stqrgr7 @thatsatricky1 @sunghoonsgfreal @nattan127 @ssweetreveries @flamingi @lesuneczka @chenlesfavorite @peterm4rker @snoopyjimin @akunoeyebrows @junviadinho @slayhaechan @f6llsun @multifandomania @cookiehaos @catecita @mrsjohnnysuh @luv4jeno @hyuckies18 @dreamiestay @tangerinelovelees @jjaegyeom @https-yeonjun @nanaxwi @yukisroom97 @nosungluv @mrkleelvr @neocrashed @jaedgemental @apolloxxivmin @nanamyh3art @kyubing @catdonut657 @dudekiss3r @juyeonshour @hamjwis @antifrggile @mmjhh1998 @ldh0000 @thegracerammy @jenocity23 @honeynanamin @bluedbliss @lampcults @yyangj3lly
#nct#nct smau#nct fanfic#nct college au#nct dream#f1 jeno#jeno nct#jeno smau#jeno fluff#jeno x reader#nct jeno#jeno imagines#lee jeno#jeno
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In Love with a Red Flag
Charles Leclerc x Reader
Summary: To say that you hated him wasn’t accurate. But you didn’t like him. He was exactly the type of guy you kept a distance from. And yet, he will be the closest to you.
A/N: I realise this idea is not unique, shout-out to all the other amazing writers who wrote a similar piece!
“Ferrari PR team came up with a solution to solve the problem. Together with the Mercedes PR team, we agreed that the best course of action would be to have you and Charles play pretend.”
You looked at Toto in disbelief.
You and Charles? Play pretend?
You knew that due to Ferrari’s latest issues with their cars, along with Mercedes’ own issues became such an issue that the teams began to lose fans.
So, PR being PR sat down and came up with a wicked idea.
Having you and Charles date, well, fake date.
According to both teams, you would become the next phenomenon and the fans would come right back.
All Toto could do was simply nod.
You let out a long sigh.
You have always tried your best to avoid Charles. He was exactly the type of guy you kept a good distance from. You knew about his method of dating.
The women he dated and how often he changed girlfriends. It was a huge red flag.
Much like his car, red all over.
You turned and looked at Charles who was just as surprised if not more than you.
“I will be looking forward to working with you, Charles.” You said with a smile as you looked at him.
You were on a yacht with him.
Soft launch as the teams called it. They knew the paparazzi would be watching. All you had to do was to act all lovely-dovely but not do too much.
You two being on the same boat would be enough.
With an ice cream in one hand, you headed to the deck, trying to get a little tan during your weekend off.
Charles soon joined you, sitting down next to you, you moved a bit closer to him.
“There’s a guy on the boat in front of us, he has a huge camera, and yet he thinks we didn’t notice him.”
“Well, I didn’t.” Charles smiled and so did you. “You know last year… in Hungary… you had that press event with the fans.”
“Oh, yeah! That was fun, I even wore a traditional dress. Kalocsai, I believe it’s called.”
“That one, yes. I remember, what about it?”
“I remember you being so… beautiful.”
“Thank you. But where did this come from?”
“You avoid me. I noticed you avoid me and Carlos. Why? Do you hate Ferrari that much?”
“Red is not really my colour.” You say, avoiding his eyes. “Especially not red flags.” You said before you got up and headed into the yacht.
The paparazzi sure got a nice picture.
The same afternoon, you were all over the news. You did it. One step closer to the finish line.
You thought of this as if it was another race.
You just had to get to the finish line. This time around, you didn’t care about the placements.
You just wanted this to be over with.
The next time you had to go out with Charles was during a charity event. You were given a beautiful silver dress to wear while Charles was in a black suit.
He looked good. Probably way too handsome for his own good.
You didn’t like how he didn’t make it easy to keep a distance. He was kind, attentive, and really fucking handsome.
He had an arm around you at all times.
“I will bring us something to drink.”
“A gin tonic would be lovely.” You replied and he nodded.
This was the only time he let you out of his arms. And if you were honest. You kinda missed it.
No.
This can’t be.
You cannot fall for him. You will not!
Toto walked over to you, complimenting your dress and dedication.
“This little PR thing works like a charm. Our team gained almost half a million new followers since last week.” Of course that is all he would care about. For now, at least, Toto had a sweet spot for you so it was only a matter of time for him to save you from this.
Fans come and go.
But your contract with him was clear. And even without that, he liked you very much. He often said you are like a younger sister to him.
“Good to know at least the plan worked.” Was your reply?
“And what about you and Charles?” He asked and you were a bit taken aback. “You two play your parts a little too well.”
“Oh please, like I would fall for a guy like him.” You replied and took a sip from your glass.
Toto only laughed a little.
You however failed to notice that Charles heard everything you said.
He simply paid his part and handed you your new drink.
On your way back home, Charles was sitting in the back of the limo with you.
“What did Toto say to you?” He asked suddenly and you turned from the window to look at him.
“He said our teams gained a lot of new fans. He looked excited about it.”
“Anything else?”
“Hm?”
“Did he ask about anything else?”
“No, he then just started to talk about the new sponsors.”
“I see.” Was his simple reply.
The next planned date was a dinner in a restaurant.
You got to wear casual clothes and feel like a human again.
You planned on eating possibly the best food you can find.
So you ordered a nice juicy hamburger with fries and a huge lemonade. Then you ordered a steak with mashed potatoes.
Charles looked rather impressed that you could eat so much.
If you were honest, you had a great time with him. You two were talking a lot. He showed you a side which not many people could see.
“Can I ask you something?” He said, suddenly becoming very serious.
“Sure.”
“When you were talking with Toto last week, you said something which really stuck with me. You said you wouldn’t fall for a guy like me. What did you mean by that?”
“I-“ this took you off guard. Should you be honest? But you also didn’t want to lie. “Everyone knew about your dating life. It was no secret and… it is a huge red flag.”
“Red flag?”
“Yes. You date one woman then you date their friend… it is a red flag.”
“And that’s why you avoided me?”
“Yes.” You said right away, which probably wasn’t the best.
You could see your words hurt him.
You wanted to say something else but then he suddenly stood up and excused himself to the bathroom.
You should have said something.
But you didn’t. And it hunted you for the upcoming weeks.
“You did good, Y/N. P3!”
“Thank you, Toto!” You drove another round, smiling and waving at the fans even if they couldn’t see you.
Max, P1, Charles, P2 and you, P3. It was a good race.
But you felt so awkward around Charles.
As they took you to your interviews, you suddenly stopped Charles.
“Charles.”
“We have an interview to do.” He wanted to walk away but you caught him.
“I misjudged you. I wanted to tell you back at the restaurant. I misjudged you. I had a great time with you, even if it was all pretend. I needed you to know.” Your assistant came to get you to see why you weren’t coming, so you headed to the interview.
Charles soon followed you.
You had one week left.
One week of fake dating.
The last seven days.
Why did it make you sad?
You should have known, but ultimately, you fell in love.
You fell in love with a red flag.
And you wanted to tell him, but how?
It was all too much.
For the last week, the teams came up with a simple idea, something to give a base to your upcoming breakup.
It was meant to be easy.
You should act like you hate each other, possibly even argue a little here and there. You two should look like you two hate one another.
But, it didn’t exactly go as planned.
You smiled too much, you laughed too hard. It didn’t look like you were a couple ready to break up, you looked like the exact opposite.
You were a couple fully in love.
At least you were.
You two ended up in a café, enjoying your coffee and tea while you had a small conversation.
“What you said, before the interview last week. I understand how my actions can seem, and how my dating life looks from the eyes of an outsider. It looks bad… very bad and I don’t blame you or anyone for thinking that way about me. But I’m thankful for your kindness. It took me a while to realize that I used to do those things because none of them was the one I was looking for. But you… you are so different from them. I understand this might be sudden but I cannot be the only one who feels this way.”
“You are not.” You interrupted him, hoping to ease his inner dilemma. You smiled at him as he visibly let out a long sigh.
He moved closer to you, and you leaned into him, pulling him down for a sweet and short kiss.
You could almost hear the cameras click. Instead, all you could focus on was his scent, his smile and his taste.
You sat back down in your chair, enjoying the sun, smiling.
The next day you broke the news to your teams. Toto was the first to congratulate you.
He knew, of course, he would. He knew you and Charles would end up together. One way or another.
/YOU DO NOT HAVE PERMISSION TO TRANSLATE OR REUPLOAD ANY OF MY WORKS TO THIS OR OTHER PLATFORMS/
#f1#f1 fanfic#f1 imagine#f1 imagines#f1 x reader#formula 1#formula one#charles leclerc imagine#charles leclerc fanfic#charles leclerc smut#charles leclerc#charles leclerc imagines#charles leclerc fanfiction#charles lecrelc#leclerc x reader#charles leclerc x fem reader#charles leclerc x female reader#charles leclerc x you#charles leclerc x reader
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