#and possible endgames for the cast

[sapphire-weapon]

was in the middle of putting on makeup and getting ready for work when i started thinking about how ashley probably went through a legitimate mourning period after leon cut her out of his life, cycling through the different stages of grief over and over and sometimes out of order

because, while he might still be alive, he’s basically dead as far as she’s concerned. he’s gone, and she can’t see him or talk to him and has no access to any information about his life. if she calls him, his phone just rings as though no one owns it anymore.

and how it’s probably real grief in every sense of the word due to the fact that it never truly goes away. it fades over time, and some days she doesn’t even think of him at all -- and when she does think of him, it’s as a distant memory like “oh, that happened.” but then every once in a while, she sees something, or hears something, or the wind blows just the right way, and she feels his absence hit her all over again. she just gets this feeling that this -- what she’s doing, where she is -- is wrong. this isn’t how her life is supposed to be, and there’s something missing.

and by the likely time of RE9, she’ll be 40, and will probably have never been married or really had any sort of successful relationship at all -- not just because anyone she meets isn’t him, but because no one she meets lives up to the unreachable standards that he set. no one else has ever made her feel as safe as he did. no one else has the perfect balance of kindness and strength and patience and confidence and tenderness and courage that he had. tough guys are always too aggressive and insecure, and sweet guys lack the hard edge. and even guys who do break through into having some kind of relationship with her eventually leave anyway, because none of them understand why she sometimes screams another man’s name in her sleep, because the only answer she ever gives to the question “who’s leon?” is “oh he worked for my dad when he was in office. he helped me out that one year that i got really, really sick and needed surgery.” because boy is that an obvious lie, but they can’t tell why and she won’t explain.

and all she wants to know is why. why he disappeared on her, what she did wrong. why did things turn out the way they did when it didn’t need to be like this -- what is he keeping from her, what doesn’t she know?

and the saddest part is that what she doesn’t know is that he’s really, truly 100% convinced that staying away from her is him doing right by her. that he’s doing her a favor by not being a part of her life. he assumes that she’s likely thriving due to his absence -- or, at least, is much better off now than she would have been if he’d stuck around.

and if he’d just answer her fucking calls or give in to his urge to call her himself, he’d know that that was bullshit and that she needs a support system just as badly as he does and doesn’t understand why they didn’t build one for each other after all they went through together -- because literally no one else could ever possibly understand what happened but them.

he doesn’t realize that just because she’s stronger than him doesn’t mean that she’s not invincible or doesn’t still need support. and his opinion of himself is too low to even consider the notion that he could be that for her. so they just live separate lives, cut off from one another, with both of them missing what was lost at the time of their split.

[you-were-alone-too]

it's so wild having been in this fandom and shipping byler since 2017, never thinking we would get anything beyond ambiguously gay will, to 2019 where i couldn't believe gay will might actually be made canon but also heartbroken over mike "it's not my fault you don't like girls" wheeler and then to 2022 where i went in with low hopes because we knew will would probably have a crush on mike but that byler would still never happen, and then somewhere in those first 4 episodes of vol 1, i started to feel frighteningly hopeful. because i thought byler would never see the light of day; it wasnt super popular during s2 and it was extremely hated during s3 and to think it might ever happen was always treated as a mass delusion.

and now here we are in 2024 and it feels like now more than ever that byler is going to be more than an unrequited love story. i was 15 when i started watching this show and now im 22. i've practically grown up alongside these characters (ignoring the funky ass show timeline) and to think that mike and will might get their happy ending together the way that i've always hoped they would just makes me so incredibly happy for fans like me who resonated with their story; whether it was from the very beginning or just recently, i'm glad to be on this journey together.

[alrightsnaps]

can please you show receipts of polins denying colin can be gay?

no cause i don't want drama so im not naming names

[luckthebard]

I’m going to say something I’ve been thinking for a long time. Travis/Chetney always bringing up Molaesmyr gets laughs but I think it is the largest factor which is making Matt’s attempt to have the Predathos question be a real debate, and the cast treating it as one not only fall flat for me, but have me ready to be incredibly disappointed in the storytelling of C3 depending on what happens.

Molaesmyr is the most pure example we have of Ludinus’s sins and what happens if he gets what he wants. He contacted Predathos and destroyed a civilization. Not only destroyed it, but twisted the animals, plant life, and people of the city and for hundreds of miles around into horrible, tortured and suffering mockeries of themselves, still haunting a perpetually dying space. That is what Matt presented when we visited Molaesmyr in episode 57 and, because Matt is good at horror and especially body horror, it really landed.

We’ve heard the cast say several times now that the characters definitely want to stop Ludinus from getting any power but after that “we’ll see.” We’ll see what? How is doing any version of what Ludinus wants a victory, even if he’s not involved? How are we considering that it might be fine to let Predathos out to chase/eat the gods or to control after seeing what it did to Molaesmyr? Do the people we saw as twisted and suffering mockeries of their former selves in that dead city not matter to the story at all? Are they just set dressing we’re supposed to forget?

Trying to present any version of what Ludinus ultimately wants, releasing Predathos, as a possible and even potentially correct or admirable endgame was, imo, a huge mistake after seeing Molaesmyr. As an audience of this story, it turns who we’ve been told are protagonists into villains. And while some stories can do that well, I don’t have confidence this one could, in large part because D&D is designed to be heroic fantasy. And seeing the heroes turn to villains at the last second will be even harder to swallow if the story tries to tell us they had a point.

[thesiltverses]

If there’s a list of books or plays or movies or tv series that influenced Eskew/TSV what’d be the top 10?

Probably different every time someone asks! But today let's go with...

Kafka's Castle / Trial / Penal Colony / Metamorphosis, Ligotti's Kafka-inspired stories (e.g The Town Manager) and other semi-adjacent absurdists and brilliant weirdos (Daniil Kharms, David Lynch, Hans Henny Jahn, Kobo Abe, arguably Fernando Pessoa?) who like to deal with social performance, human reaction and the pretence of normality in the face of unbearable strangeness, monstrous impositions and nightmare logic

Beckett's Happy Days / Endgame / Not I / WfG / Malone trilogy for the tragically pointless but inescapable search for meaning and fulfilment in ourselves, in our memories, in other people, in this wasted landscape, etc

Junji Ito's Uzumaki / Gyo / Amigara Fault / other stuff for powerfully making the argument that ludicrous horrors are also terrifying and gross horrors are also hilarious

Works that explore the helpless terror and allure in being horribly transfigured into a final shape that makes sense of us (The Fly / Videodrome, Annihilation, Ovid's Metamorphoses, Society, Ito again) or relatedly the shameless joy of setting fire to our social and familial and societal environment and embracing the wild, devilish, bestial and profane (a lot of stuff, but I'm thinking of the works of Angela Carter and Leonora Carrington and also The Witch and Carrie, that one Clarice Lispector book where she eats a bug)

Dostoevsky's Devils, Crime and Punishment and Notes from Underground for his unsurpassed collection of asocial self-obsessives having an existentially bad time and handling that poorly

The 1973 double bill of The Wicker Man / Don't Look Now for exploring the tragedy and horror of how our search for meaning may entrap us into a dead end of meaningless horrors

All of LeGuin's fiction but particularly The Dispossessed and Omelas.

The Wire for its peerless portrayal of a cast of complicated and largely unheroic human beings all attempting to either reach or destroy one another but who are ultimately all adrift and alone in the modern supersystem. The Wire and The Lives of Others for affirming the worth of even futile and powerless to support others who are suffering within that supersystem.

Any and all shit about strange and awful environments which may possibly possess a malevolent will or which are perhaps merely beholden to their own natural laws and we are the ones drawn to destroy ourselves within them (The Stone Tapes and many of Nigel Kneale's other works, The Children of Green Noah, The Haunting of Hill House, Roadside Picnic / Stalker, The Terror, The Minpins, Annihilation again, The Island of Morel, I know House of Leaves is a perfect fit for this but personally I always found it a bit hacky)

Riddley Walker, A Canticle for Leibowitz, and other post-apocalyptic work - to some extent Mad Max and the better Fallout games apply - that find the value and humanity (while recognising the potential for self-destruction) in our absurd efforts to construct meaning and to tell meaningful stories from out of the ruin and chaos all around us.

There's other stuff - The Silt Verses steals a lot of its initial atmospherics from True Detective Season 1, both shows are inevitably in dialogue with the mechanics and themes of Lovecraftian cosmic horror even if I wouldn't call Lovecraft a positive influence - but that's a pretty good list, I think.

[class1akids]

"I like food"

I saw many posts people saying how random Shouto's line is about praying at Touya's altar and realizing that he likes food - and I wanted to point to how it helps wrapping up his arc.

Shouto is saying: "When I was praying at Touya's butsudan (Buddhist altar), I suddenly realized something, I liked eating food. I realized there's more to me than just the person I want to become."

Food was a "negative space in the Todoroki family, so liking food was not evident to Shoto growing up.

In Shouto's flashbacks with his family, we never see him eat food. His only memory tied to the kitchen is the kettle incident. We know from Natsuo that Shouto ate alone, a diet prescribed by Endeavor, no doubt all geared towards maximum performance, rather than enjoyment. Not even knowing your siblings favorite food is the ultimate symbol of how dysfunctional the household was.

2. Food was a positive space in Class A - tied to comfort, bonding, friendship

In class A, Shouto starts eating with Iida and Midoriya after the Stain incident. Food becomes comfort, connection, sharing, caring, teamwork, etc. He experiences things like using his fire to prepare food together, eating together, cleaning up.

Many memorable Shouto-scenes are tied to Class A eating together (e.g. heroes cry too) and he connects to Inasa over a discussion about favorite foods (udon vs soba) which is a theme that carries over to his endgame with Touya

3. As the Todoroki family tries to reconnect, food plays a central role

As the family changes, they attempt to reconnect around the family dinner table (the famous sluuurp scenes). But Todoroki dinners end in a disaster - still they are useful bringing to the surface important conflicts and trying to communicate about them (another important theme discussed in Shoto Rising).

There is more in the light novels: Shoto's and Rei's decade late reconnection as Rei offers him a little kid strawberry milk that she remembers he liked when he was 5, and their attempt to connect with Natsuo ending up in a mush of ruined soba - it's all out of sync.

4. Food as a symbol of lost time and broken futures

Food is also very central for the hopes of a happier future: Enji's dream of his family at the dinner table, Natsuo's regret about years of missed meals, Shoto wanting to share noodles with Toya, all culminating in the heartbreaking realization that they have the same favorite food they'll never get to share.

5. Food as a symbol of processing grief and healing

Praying at the butsudan (the Buddhist altar at home set up for a deceased loved one) involves the preparation of offerings of food and drinks, which then the family eats afterwards. We see this practice referenced in Ch 249 when Enji prays at Toya's altar.

So Shouto making a reference to it is a shorthand for telling us that Touya died at some point, Shouto is still grieving him and just like Deku and Ochako, he's trying to make sense for himself out of their short encounter. So wanting to learn how to make chopsticks and bowls (a traditional Japanese craft of woodwork and applying lacquer, often involving intricate patterns) implies that he wants to bring Touya the perfect offering, but also that he's finally stepping outside fully of the framework Endeavor created for the family, where children are cast into roles of heroes, villains and by-standers, masterpieces and failures but never human beings. He's thinking about what connects him and Touya together and who they would have been in a different story.

6. Shouto's personal arc

Shouto's character was always about balance. Balance between past and future, ice and fire, duty and family, etc. So crafting chopsticks and bowls to elevate good food connects the grief and survival guilt with healing and growth. It is both a tribute to Touya's memory and a new possible hobby to express still undiscovered sides of himself.

It fits the theme of the chapter "More" - as it focuses on what lies beyond being a hero, reaching a goal, working hard and how Izuku, Ochako and Shouto have been transformed by their experiences of trying to save their villains.

But it also fits Shouto's personal arc that was about discovering who Shouto really is. Earlier in the chapter, Shouto refers to being constrained into the framework of a bigger story, where his choices are bound to happen. As a hero of the sidestory of that manga, Shouto has no choice but decide what kind of a hero he wants to be (not-Endeavor, like All Might, reassuring, family hero). Encounters with his family helped crystallized this image of himself.

But now that he's being released from this story, he can look outside of the framework of a hero manga and discover those "more sides than just a hero". And Touya was the last encounter - the last piece of that puzzle. I think there is a parallel in how Tomura destroyed much of hero society - Touya also destroyed the foundations of the Todoroki family, so something different can maybe built.

Without Touya, I think the family would have kept at trying to piece themselves together in a tense, fake kind of peace to keep up appearances. If nothing else, Touya's actions tore through that need of saving face - leaving them all exposed and grappling with the harsh realities of their actions. But I think it also allowed the younger siblings to step outside the cage their parents created for them and build things better from scratch. It allows them to find more sides to themselves outside of the logic of the Todoroki household.

[utilitycaster]

Hi, would just like to say thank you for writing up so much meta on campaign 3, it is keeping me sane seeing similar thoughts to what I’ve had written down coherently.

The last couple asks you’ve answered have got me thinking about how campaign 3 ended up like this (indecisive characters, weird nonsensical themes, only setpieces and maybe a ship or two being memorable) and I remember hearing that c3 was described by Matt as ”Pulpy” and I keep coming back to that and thinking that there was never even meant to be a big decision. From what I’ve read of old pulp fiction dnd novels it's pretty much “here’s the big bad go defeat/seal/slap them on the wrist, have fun on the way there with several cool setpieces and romance!” and I wonder if there was even meant to be a god debate at all or if it was just picked up in the middle of the story by the cast. It could explain why the characters wouldn't fit the story if this wasn’t meant to be the story.

Cause a character who goes with the flow is fine in those books and a character who only looks into what is thrust upon them works, but it feels like somewhere it tried to be more and just fell apart.

Because even now the story does feel pulpy but just held down by a narrative it isn’t handling well. 119 was a great episode and having the Raven Queen show up in the middle to give boons is an incredibly cool beat that would be memorable as hell but for it to end up as another god debate just sucks. But the rest of the campaign sort of does that with cool beats that end up dragged down in one way or another so its not unique I guess

I know you talked about the “pulpy”ness of c3 a while ago and was wondering if you had more thoughts now that we’re in the endgame for the campaign

I do - this is all rather speculative but in some discussions with other people one possible explanation that's come up is that Matt genuinely didn't expect the characters to be so hesitant to save the gods or stop Ludinus or sympathize with the the Vanguard, and has kind of pivoted to make a campaign that accomodates those doubts...but in doing so sort of fucked his end premise of "we must deal with Predathos". Which, you know, makes a lot of sense! What if Hearthdell was intended as a glimpse into why people might join something like the Vanguard to introduce an element of complexity to a party that (quite reasonably I might add) had said "these people are a fucking scourge on Exandria" but instead served to fan the flames of "well the gods didn't give me things when I asked so yeah we should let them be eaten"? What if the fetch quests to the Shattered Teeth or the scouting mission were like the quest for vestiges - something that the party desperately wished to do to achieve a deeply felt goal - and not something they had to be nudged along to do every step of the way? What if the party went into the final confrontation with any consensus or intention? Because then yeah a pulpier "you're taking on the Big Bad Ultimate Threat...but your MOTHER is on THEIR side" a la vintage superhero comics plays out much more coherently. I cannot stress enough that the cultural touchstone Matt brings up about the campaign is the 2012 Avengers film. Regardless of some posts I've seen (which tend to assume anything the cast has ever read/watched/played is an influence, which is. incorrect) that is your starting point.

The thing about all the "take a third option" and "status quo" talk surrounding this campaign is...this post is actually a good description of how it plays out in real life. Like yeah there's a lot of political constructs within the world that are stupid and unjust! However it is unproductive, naive, and idiotic to act as though just because you don't like them they aren't part of a complex system that needs thoughtful dismantling (at least, if you place any value on human life) or worse, that they simply don't exist because they shouldn't. Sometimes you genuinely do have two choices and neither is ideal and if you do not choose between them because you're holding out for a better option the choice is made for you, and often, it's the worse one. Sometimes there is in fact a problem caused by something stupid that you cannot undo in time to solve said problem, and it is selfish and childish to say "well I think this shouldn't be a problem" and leave it at that. You will fail in your endeavors if you do this. People will see that's your approach and stop listening to anything you say.

Bells Hells feel like that to me and it's not even entirely their fault. I think because Matt had such a clear endgame in mind in the sense of "face off against Predathos" and the party was so ill-suited, and the early pacing was genuinely already bad, he's sort of tried to pivot away by following every dumb idea Bells Hells have to perhaps funnel them towards that endgame. And this is a problem too, because it means the plot doesn't push back on them and they do not grow as people, which means that a lot of us are getting tired with their shit. It's telling that most of Bells Hells' loudest defenders are the "well, if you're traumatized, you're excused from all responsibility for your actions ever :)" types within the fandom because like, part of why people are sick of Laudna's shit (for example) is that it's like ok I agree you shouldn't have an evil wizard in your head but you do, so like, what are you doing about it. And because she hadn't done anything about it and because they had to get to Predathos we had our Deus Essek Machina situation, which to be clear, not mad about, but it also means Laudna never really learned or grew from this. And to be clear she's not alone; part of the frustration around Ashton is it seemed like they DID have a revelation around shardgate and then immediately discarded it.

There's many more factors I'm sure but just to sum up:

Matt has a very clear overarching plot in mind [and, also, probably was creating a campaign for characters who see point 3 had more realized worldviews and goals and investment in their communities]

Matt does not give the cast much guidance in creating characters for that plot; "pulpy" is really tonal and not even genre

Cast, having played characters specifically designed for the "complex and morally gray and must be from the continent the campaign is set on" campaign last, turn to wacky and go-with-the-flow types

Overarching plot kicks in; characters do not behave as expected

Matt tries to embrace/encourage this by getting the party to follow what they want to do

Go-with-flow/take no responsibility party doesn't know what they want to do

endless loop of a DM trying to adjust the direction of flow to a directionless party instead of imposing a direction/Cast trying to take direction cues from a DM who keeps throwing more options at them in the hopes one will appeal to them which turns into a "what do you want to do" "I don't know what do you want to do" situation.

[endless-ineffabilities]

The Bolter (part five)

Steve Rogers x f!reader / (Bucky Barnes x f!reader)

synopsis : Steve carries out his decision to return to Peggy, aiming to live out the rest of his days with her. But this means he's leaving everything behind - he's leaving you. Did he make the right choice? Will there be anything left with you to come back to?

in this chapter : In present day, the reader and Bucky get closer - will one of them finally slip up? We also see what happened in 2018, during the battle in Wakanda.

themes/warnings : pining, unrequited love, Bucky dealing with ptsd, brief mention of violence, language

word count : 2.1k

main masterlist ▪︎ series masterlist

📝 a little bit of an explanation on the timeline : 2016 - Civil War ▪︎ 2017 - post Civil War / Steve and reader on the run ▪︎ early 2018 - Infinity War ▪︎ 2018 to 2023 - the lost years / post-snap ▪︎ late 2023 - Endgame / Steve's departure ▪︎ 2024 - present day / Falcon and the Winter Soldier period ▪︎ 1950s - where Steve went back

2024, seven months after Steve's departure

You win. Again.

By now, you're convinced Bucky is actually letting you win in Battleship. Each guess he made had been wrong, so it must be deliberate.

"James Buchanan Barnes," you sigh.

His lips form a sly smirk. He isn't even trying to deny it.

You reach across and lightly shove his non-vibranium arm. "It's no fun if there's no challenge."

He shrugs, "Maybe I like the way you react when you win. You get so... expressive." Another smirk. Damn him.

What could possibly be so amusing about the way you practically screeched and stuck your tongue at him the first time you won?

"Yeah, but you let me win four times in a row."

"Deal with it, doll."

"You suck."

He grimaces, "Suck?"

Right. You keep forgetting he is an very old, very ancient centenarian.

"It's an expression."

Something flashes across his face, and you can't really make out what it is. "Do you suck, too?"

"What?" you exclaim. "I just said it's an expression. It means you're annoying."

He holds your gaze for a moment, before laughing, eyes visibly crinkling at the corners. "I'm messing with you, doll. I know what that means. I'm old, not unaware."

Damn him again.

And damn the way the rare instances of his laughter is slowly growing to be a thing you yearn for. Bucky has a playful side, you've come to realize. You get this feeling of lightness, because you're proud of him. The more it comes out, the more it shows how much he has healed.

You blink at him, shaking your head, before bursting into laughter yourself.

Damn it all to hell.

It takes a beat for you to collect yourselves.

Then for a second, it's there. That fleeting shift in his expression. A pinch in his eyebrows giving way to a look of shame. Just for a moment, his mind drifts back to the long list of names in his notebook. To Yori's son. To the crimson in his ledger.

You notice, and you don't hesitate in taking his hand, squeezing gently. "Hey," you say, catching his attention. "I'm glad we get to do this."

I'm glad I have you.

Glancing down at your hand wrapped around his, he smiles, slowly, like a sun rising and casting its glow over the horizon.

"Let's play one more time," Bucky says as he begins rearranging the pieces on his side.

You were about to protest, but then he adds, "I won't let you win, I swear."

Fifteen minutes later, you do indeed win again. He laughs at the incredulous expression that must be plastered on your face.

You take it. Because maybe you did win, fair and square.

Or maybe because his laughter feels like winning.

▪︎ ▪︎ ▪︎ ▪︎ ▪︎ ▪︎ ▪︎ ▪︎ ▪︎ ▪︎ ▪︎ ▪︎

The days have blurred into weeks and into months.

It feels like time is passing quickly, every second feels less and less like the lash of a whip, reminding Bucky of past pains. Of loss. Of all his sins.

Life almost feels normal. The kind of normal he is afforded in his life, at least.

Sessions with his court-mandated therapist. You. Dinners with Yori, desperately unable to tell him the truth. You. Sleepless nights, glimpses of his darkness haunting him. You. Sleepless nights, tempting images of you.

Behind all the laughter and the times you would spend playing Battleship on the floor of his barely furnished apartment, Bucky gets a sense of something gnawing at him. Something not unfamiliar, but unwelcome all the while.

It's fear. He has something to lose, once more. A friend or a kindred spirit. Whatever else you will find in each other. It's there and it's real, and it makes him feel like Bucky again.

He doesn't want to lose it, whatever it is. He's already lost Steve.

He's not going to lose you too.

▪︎ ▪︎ ▪︎ ▪︎ ▪︎ ▪︎ ▪︎ ▪︎ ▪︎ ▪︎ ▪︎ ▪︎

early 2018, Infinity War

After you and Steve left the cabin, it's like the universe was sent a go-ahead signal of some sort.

The world slowly descended into chaos, and the Avengers were needed back into the fold.

Your group had to rush to Scotland to rescue Wanda and Vision. Then it was back to the Avengers compound.

"You think all is forgiven?" Senator Ross asked, the threat evident in his tone. "You think you can just walk back in here like nothing happened? Romanoff has been leading my team on some wild goose chase - "

Natasha merely scoffs, unamused.

" - and Huntress has been actively aiding and abetting her fellow fugitives around the globe."

You were about to say something snarky, but Steve had already taken a step forward, partially shielding you from Ross' view.

"We're not looking for forgiveness, and we're way past asking permission," Steve declared.

In that time, life became drastically different from your days in Alaska. You barely had a moment of repose, worried about the fate of the world.

But you found comfort in the blonde super soldier who was constantly hovering over you. His eyes would meet yours before a decision would be made. His hand sometimes pressed at the small of your back as you walked beside him. Time and again, you found him watching you, a silent question in his eyes. You'd nod back, I'm okay.

You didn't notice, but in one of those moments, Wanda had witnessed the exchange.

And she felt it. That something. Much like what she has with Vision.

But it just wasn't the right time.

It is a bit hard to face the truth that you might be in love when the whole world is burning.

"I guess this is our normal, after all," you wistfully remarked to him one evening, after everyone else had left. The plans were laid. You all were to go to Wakanda the next day.

Steve felt a sense of bitterness arising from him upon hearing your words. It really isn't fair. He has always done everything right, but he's losing count of how many joys he's had to sacrifice.

He lost everyone once. His mom, his sister, Bucky, his fellow soldiers, Dr. Erskine, Peggy. He'd buried himself in ice, only to wake up again in a world that wasn't his anymore.

What else does he have to lose, who else, before he is finally allowed to be happy?

His smile was pained when he replied, "I think I figured out the kind of normal I want."

Despite your exhaustion, you smiled back and curiously asked, "Oh yeah?"

Steve hopelessly tried to commit you to memory. The lilt in your voice, the shape of your lips. That undying spark in your eyes, which remained even when everything was cast in gloom.

Just in case he would wake up one day and find his whole world taken from him once more.

"Yeah," he finally said.

The world is ablaze, but he's grown used to it. He knew he would lay his life down on the line again if that means it would be saved.

But everything be damned, he allowed himself one selfish thought when he confessed, "We never should have left that cabin."

I'm in love with you, were the words caught in his throat. His heart screamed it, yearning to be heard.

And you did.

▪︎ ▪︎ ▪︎ ▪︎ ▪︎ ▪︎ ▪︎ ▪︎ ▪︎ ▪︎ ▪︎ ▪︎

It was a cruel twist of fate. But Thanos deemed it destiny.

Was it always meant to happen? Were they always meant to lose?

Steve didn't know how long he stayed on the ground next to the pile of ashes that used to be his best friend.

Bucky was gone.

Steve barely heard the screams. Anguished voices calling out the names of their friends, still searching.

All that would have been unbearable. The sounds of distress enough to drive one mad. But Steve heard nothing. He had nothing.

It's not fair. Inside, he felt like that sickly kid who was always dealt the worst hand. It does feel like he's a kid again, petulant and angry. It's not fair, he thought over and over, I don't deserve this.

Bring Bucky back to me.

Maybe it was all his fault. Maybe if he never took that damned serum... maybe... maybe...

"Cap," he heard someone break him out of his haze. Rhodey stood to the side. "Steve," he repeated, pleading, but Steve still could not find the strength to get up.

Then from the distance, he heard Natasha calling out for you. He stumbled to his feet, his head spinning. Casting one last glance at the spot where Bucky vanished, he turned and started running.

He found Natasha immediately, but not you.

"Where is she?" Steve growled, and his voice sounded rougher than he's ever heard before. Natasha would have recoiled in surprise, if she didn't possess nerves of steel.

"I'm looking," Natasha snapped impatiently. You would have been her loss too.

Steve felt as if he had already scoured through the whole field twice, his body threatening to just give in and crumble to the ground once more, as the hope of finding you dimmed.

Then he heard your faint voice, weak and weary, standing out among all the others.

"Steve?" There you stood, your face half-covered in dried blood and soot. "Did we lose?"

He swiveled around and took you in, a deep breath of helpless relief exiting his lungs. He was angry and defeated.

He wanted to throw Captain America to the wind, and surrender everything.

He wanted to hear his mother's voice singing to him again. This world is cruel, and he wanted to go back home.

But there you were.

There you were, and Steve knew he had not lost everything.

"How did it happen?" you asked as he approached. "Steve, what do we do? There must be something - "

His mouth crashes into yours with such bruising intensity that it makes you stumble backward, but his arms were quick to catch you.

He was right.

You never should have left that cabin.

▪︎ ▪︎ ▪︎ ▪︎ ▪︎ ▪︎ ▪︎ ▪︎ ▪︎ ▪︎ ▪︎ ▪︎

2024, seven months after Steve's departure

The nightmare is different.

It's worse. Much worse.

Bucky bolts upright on the floor of his living room, having chosen to bypass the comfort of his bedroom. He thinks this is because he needs to keep his TV on in the background, something to muffle the noise in his mind late at night.

Another reason, one he hasn't confronted yet, is how comfort feels so foreign. It feels wrong, like he doesn't deserve it.

Perhaps that is why he can't find comfort even in his dreams.

It flashes before his eyes, like a broken montage.

It's almost the same every time. He's the Winter Soldier. He's on a mission. There are faces swarming around him, bodies either racing to attack or running away. But he doesn't see any of them. He doesn't feel anything as he makes every single one of them crumble.

But it's different this time. The Winter Soldier does not so much as falter or show any hesitation as he wraps his metal fingers around your windpipe.

The Winter Soldier coldly watches as you expire. Bucky helplessly watches, unable to stop as he loses everything.

Thankfully awake, in this world where he still has you, Bucky's chest feels like it's about to implode.

So much for being a superabled freak.

The clock reads 3:13. It's late, but he needs some air.

He walks for 10 minutes, aimlessly. Then for 20 more, his mind having made a decision on its own. He soon finds himself standing in front of a familiar brownstone building, where your apartment is situated on the top floor.

You don't seem confused when you answer the buzzer. It wouldn't be the first time he has shown up unannounced.

"Can't sleep either?" You're a welcome vision when you greet him at the door, cheeks flushed by the white wine you usually drink at these hours.

She's still here, Bucky reminds himself. The only comfort that he won't deny.

Instead of walking past you, straight into your apartment like he always does, he takes one step closer.

And then another.

He shuts the door behind him.

You watch him carefully, scanning his every movement. There's something here, something different. He takes another step and he has you pressed against the wall.

His eyes betray the storm of emotion brewing inside. He has to remind himself that you're here, and he has you.

"Bucky," you whisper, and it's all he needs.

He leans in and finally touches his lips to yours.

Read part six here ~

taglist (let me know if you wish to be added!) : @vicmc624 @littleliyah16 @babezawa @klammykayla @justsebstan @blue--ingenue @numblytemporary @bradshawass @delicious-xx @mrsevans90 @heartarianagran @tinystarfishgalaxy @kyoquixote @mochibochinochi @spngingerbread21 @zbeez-outlet @rena15 @raging-panda @marveldaydreamer @integers @torntaltos @imthebadguyyy @iidear @blackhawkfanatic @smhnxdiii

My emotions!!!!!! Hahahaha this chapter is a whole mess and so are our protagonists 🔪🫀

yes yes, expect that the next one is 18+ --- but I still won't say exactly with who --- maybe it's a trick? Maybe it's neither of them? Oh well, honestly some of you have got it bang on already 🤷🏻‍♀️

As always, I am keen to hear what you guys think!!

[blazinghotfoggynights]

Can Team Tuck and Team Buddie please agree that both can exist and serve as positive spaces for queer male representation?

I've been thinking. Let me run something by you.

Oliver says he has always felt Buck was a bi-coded character? Right?

Does that mean when TK thought Buck was hitting on him, he was?

If Buck was always bi, but just didn't know it, are we supposed to believe he never flirted with Eddie just because his first kiss was with Tommy?

Was Tommy his bi awakening or was Tommy the embodiment of the attractive traits he has seen in a man he's been falling for over five seasons?

You can like or even love multiple people. Even at the same time! 😮

Believing that Buddie is or should be the endgame does not negate or disrespect Buck's arc with Tommy in any way. I question if Tommy was just a convenient character. He's a safe guy to explore Buck's evolution with. He has a history with members of the 118, but he is not integral to the cast. If it doesn't work out, he is easily explained away. Remember Natalia?

I think it is possible to have a Buck and Tommy centered arc, focused on Buck becoming comfortable with his sexuality and exploring it in a healthy, positive way and still have Buck and Eddie eventually realize they have been each other's person for years. Having both doesn't make the other any less important. How many people have dated others when their eventual life partner was right there? They had no idea they saw that person in that way.

Now that we know Buck is bi, it could lead to different interpretations of scenes:

Buck is looking at Eddie. Tommy is not there and we don't know for sure who Eddie was speaking to.

2. Look at that smile and his eyes at the end. Buck positively beams and bats his eyes when he realizes Eddie is going to look at him. That's how platonic friends look at each other?

3. But we can take it all the way back if we have to. Look at Buck when Eddie compliments him.

3b. Do you know what that reminds me of?

4. If Buck has subconciously been into guys for a long time, then this scene takes on a whole new context.

Moving closer to the other man? Check.

Eye contact? Check?

Smile and shy head duck? Check.

*I'd like to state that I have no doubt Edmundo Diaz knew Buck was into him. Look at the reaction.

5. When I'm into someone, you know what I don't talk about? Someone else.

6. Wow. Look at how Buck looks at Tommy.

6b. We have never seen that before have we?

Buck x Tommy and Buck x Eddie can coexist in harmony. Life stories are long and have jumpscares, plot twists, plot holes, etc.

Buck being genuinely attracted to Tommy doesn't mean that all the scenes from the past five seasons that made us all side-eye Evan Buckley didn't happen.

If we never get Buddie, let's just take the win. ABC said, "There are queer men in the world who are masculine, hot, and relatively stable. Let's show that."

Do we really need to talk about how the LGBTQ community was represented on their former network? I could stand on that soapbox and go off for days. Let's just say I know others who also felt some way about it, whether they were straight, queer, or allies.

I am just going to enjoy what is shaping up to be an amazing season. Moving to ABC breathed new life into 911 and I am excited. (Season six? Can we just not talk about it?)

[buckets-and-trees]

Red, White & True: Brooklyn - Pre-Interview [7/13]

Characters/Pairings: Steve Rogers x curvy Millennial Female!Reader Word Count: 5.8k Summary: After a week apart on the campaign trail, you're reunited with Steve to get ready for the biggest interview of your life.

Content/Warnings: marriage of political convenience, slow burn

Notes: People have been asking about the wedding since chapter one, and you won't get EVERYTHING here, but you will learn a little about how those days went. This takes place in a post-Endgame scenario where Steve stays and generally most of TFATWS happened.

Previous Chapter | Series ↠ Main Masterlist | Aspen's Ask Box | Field Guide to the Forest

[OCTOBER 5 - EARLY AFTERNOON - BROOKLYN, NEW YORK]

As the car pulls up to the brownstone, your heart begins to race. The familiar facade of red brick and ornate cornices looms before you, a blend of historic charm and modern restoration. The wrought-iron fence that lines the front garden is exactly as you remember it, its intricate patterns casting delicate shadows on the sidewalk in the early afternoon sun. The trees that line the street are ablaze with color - brilliant golds, fiery oranges, and deep crimsons - a stark contrast to the evergreen palms you left behind in California just hours ago.

As you step out of the vehicle, the cool air nips at your cheeks. You gaze up at the four-story building, and the sight of it all brings a flood of memories from those two nights in June - the nervous energy of the night before your wedding, the surreal feeling of returning here as newlyweds though you were still virtually strangers. The first night Steve had been detained in New Hampshire, so you’d stayed in the house alone. The second night you had politely slept in separate bedrooms.

There had been no honeymoon. Instead the two of you had traveled to the Stark corporate retreat facilities two miles up the road from the rustic mansion Tony and Pepper had designed and built together for their family life in upstate New York, and the preparation for the presidential run had moved into the final phases of coaching, strategy, styling consultations, wardrobe outfitting, public address exercises and the like now that you had officially joined the team.

Thinking back on it now, you wonder how either of you managed to make it through the blend of politeness and awkwardness, the concerted efforts to be warm even though both of you were keeping your distance and taking turns testing the waters.

It would be laughable if it wasn’t your life.

One day you will probably laugh about it. Whether or not it will be with Steve by your side… that’s still not clear.

Though it does feel like that longterm reality becomes more of a possibility every day.

As you climb the steps to the front door, you hear a bevy of movement inside. Your pulse quickens, knowing Steve is already here. You've spoken every day this past week, but phone calls and video chats can't compare to being in the same room.

The week apart had been good for you. Instead of closeness by virtue of proximity, the two of you had had to connect purely through conversation; and without sun-up-to-sundown schedules that orbited around each other, the thirty guaranteed minutes became treasured, guarded, and looked forward to.

Sophia is rushing in ahead of you, and you pause for just a moment before stepping over the threshold, taking a deep breath to calm the skittering of your heart.

The entryway is warm and inviting, filled with the soft glow of late afternoon sunlight streaming through the windows. There’s a thriving buzz of energy and discussion going on as campaign staff fill the living room and are filtering in and out. The scent of fresh coffee wafts through the air, mingling with the faint aroma of old books and polished wood that seems to permeate the brownstone.

There are many hello’s and greetings for you and Sophia, and you ask, “Where’s Steve?

"In here!" Steve's voice calls out from the direction of the kitchen.

You make your way through the bustling living room, nodding more greetings to staff members as you pass. The kitchen doorway comes into view, and your breath catches as you see Steve for the first time in a week.

You round the corner into the spacious kitchen and there he is, leaning against the counter in conversation with Bucky and Jake, a mug of coffee in his hand. The late afternoon sun streaming through the window casts a warm glow on his profile, highlighting the strong line of his jaw and the golden hues in his hair. He looks relaxed, at ease in a way you rarely see him on the campaign trail.

His eyes light up when he sees you, a warm smile spreading across his face.

"Hey," he says softly, setting down his coffee and taking a step towards you.

"Hey yourself," you reply, your own smile matching his. The kitchen suddenly feels very crowded - most of your life with Steve was surrounded by other people.

Diplomatically, Jake and Bucky begin conversing with each other, giving you a bit of privacy, and Steve closes the distance between you in a few strides. There's a moment of hesitation, both of you unsure how to greet each other after a week apart. But before you can say anything else, he wraps you in a tight embrace. The hug is warm and comforting, Steve's strong arms wrapping around you securely. You breathe in his familiar scent, a mix of soap and something uniquely him. Briefly the bustle of the campaign fades away, and it's just the two of you. A tension you didn't even realize you were carrying in your shoulders begins to dissipate.

"Welcome home," he murmurs into your hair.

You pull back slightly, looking into his familiar face. "Home," you repeat softly, testing the word. It feels right, somehow, in a way it didn't before.

Steve's eyes search your face, as if trying to memorize every detail. "How was your flight?"

"Long," you admit with a small laugh. "But productive. Sophia and I went over the schedule for the next few days."

"I'm glad you made it back safely," Steve says, his hand warm on your lower back as he guides you further into the kitchen. "I know the West Coast tour was grueling."

You nod, feeling the exhaustion of the past week in your bones, not that either of you are strangers to exhaustion these past months. "It was intense, but I think we made some real progress out there. The response at the events with Helen Santos was incredible."

Now that you’re at the counter, Jake and Bucky tune into the conversation with you. "I saw some of the coverage,” Bucky said, his eyes lighting up with interest. “You two seemed to really connect with the crowds."

"She's amazing," you say, a note of admiration in your voice. "The way she can command a room, inspire people... I learned so much just watching her."

"I'm sure you held your own," Steve says with a soft smile. "I heard great things about your speeches."

A warmth spreads through your chest at his words.

“Of course she held her own,” Jake interjects, looking like a proud dad, and you can’t help but glow at his proclamation - he’s the political aficionado and has no reason to give false praise. “We’ve got great polling and social media engagement surges we can tie right back to your work with Zoey over the last week.

“Now, we've got a lot to cover," Jake continues, his tone businesslike but with a hint of eagerness. "The interview is in three days, and we need to make sure we're all on the same page."

You nod, grateful for the shift to campaign matters. It gives you a moment to collect yourself, to process the warmth of Steve's greeting and the conflicting emotions it stirs within you.

"Right," you say, slipping into professional mode. "What's our game plan?"

Jake launches into a detailed rundown of the schedule leading up to the interview, outlining prep sessions and strategy meetings. As he speaks, you're acutely aware of Steve's presence beside you, his hand still resting lightly on your lower back. It's a casual touch, one that would look natural to anyone observing, but it sends a small thrill through you.

"We've got a mock interview scheduled for tonight after dinner, and we’ll try to wrap up between nine and ten-”

You and Steve exchange a surprised glance, both of your eyebrows raised in disbelief.

"I'm sorry, did you say we'd be wrapping up at nine or ten?" Steve asks, a hint of amusement in his voice.

Jake nods, a slight smirk playing at the corners of his mouth. "That's right. You two marvel and joke all you want, but tomorrow isn’t just another game day, it’s the Super Bowl of interviews. You’ll need proper rest."

You can't help but chuckle, the sound bubbling up from your chest. After months of grueling 18-hour days that often stretched well past midnight, the idea of having an evening to yourselves seems almost decadent, a luxury you'd forgotten existed.

"I'm not sure I even remember what to do with free time," you joke, looking up at Steve.

“Alright, alright,” Jake says. “You get some lunch, Mrs. Rogers, and we’ll get going in about forty-five minutes.”

[OCTOBER 5 - EVENING - BROOKLYN BROWNSTONE]

The mock interview had gone well, all things considered. Lisa, always poised and professional in her role as campaign spokesperson, has taken on the role of faux-Oprah for the mock interview. She had been practicing for days, studying her posture, mannerisms, and way of speaking in order to mimic Oprah's signature warmth and openness.

Because Oprah was the one who had scooped in and taken the chance to interview Captain America and Mrs. Rogers.

Oprah.

Oprah would be in your home.

Talking to you.

Lisa had thrown many curveballs at you and Steve, probing for weak spots in your narrative and testing your ability to present a united front. For as many public addresses and press appearances as you had done, none of them had been jointly even if you and Steve had been at them together. This was the first time focusing on you and Steve as a married couple, side by side. By the end, you were mentally exhausted but reasonably confident. The real interview would be challenging, but you and Steve had a firm grasp on your rhythm and you felt prepared.

Now, as promised, you find yourself with an unexpected evening of freedom stretching out before you. The house is quiet, the campaign staff having departed for their hotels or to work on other projects. It's just you and Steve, alone in the brownstone for the first time since the awkward night after your wedding.

For a moment, neither of you moves. The quiet is almost deafening after the constant buzz of activity that's surrounded you both for so long. You can hear the tick of the antique clock in the foyer, the soft hum of the refrigerator in the kitchen, the distant sound of traffic outside. It's strange, almost unsettling, to be surrounded by such stillness.

You glance at Steve, catching his eye. He looks as uncertain as you feel, standing there in the living room, hands in his pockets. The conversations over the phone while you had been apart had grown so natural, but now that you are physically together, alone as you so rarely had ever been, the question of what now? hangs in the air.

Just as you open your mouth to speak, both of your phones buzz simultaneously. You exchange a curious glance before reaching for your devices.

It's a text from Sophie.

Check the kitchen. Enjoy your evening off!

Intrigued, you and Steve make your way to the kitchen, your footsteps echoing on the hardwood floors. The warm glow of the pendant lights above the island casts a cozy ambiance as you enter the room.

On the granite countertop, you find an array of options laid out before you. There's a mixing bowl, surrounded by ingredients; a package of cookie dough; a box from a bakery; and a card propped up in front.

You reach for the card, your fingers brushing against the thick cardstock. As you open it, you can't help but smile at the message inside.

Choose Your Own Cookie Adventure!

Option 1: Mix it up! All the ingredients are here for chocolate chip cookies from scratch. Recipe card included.

Option 2: Easy Bake! Pre-made dough ready to pop in the oven.

Option 3: Instant Gratification! Gourmet cookies from Levain Bakery.

Enjoy your evening off and indulge in something sweet together.

You look up at Steve, a mix of amusement and warmth spreading through your chest. "Well," you say, gesturing to the spread before you and handing him the card, "what'll it be, Captain?"

Steve's eyes crinkle at the corners as he smiles, skimming the message and taking in the options. "I'm tempted by the instant gratification," he admits with a chuckle, "but there's something to be said for the satisfaction of making something from scratch."

You nod, excited at the prospect of doing something so normal. "I agree. So option one together?"

"Sounds perfect," Steve says, already rolling up his sleeves. "I have to warn you, though, I'm not exactly known for my baking skills."

You laugh, the sound light and genuine. "Mine are rusty, so this should be interesting."

As you set to work, there's a comfortable ease between you that wasn't there before. The week apart seems to have reset something, allowing you to just be yourselves without the constant pressure of the campaign surrounding you.

Steve measures out the flour while you cream the butter and sugar together in the mixing bowl. The familiar motions of baking bring back memories of childhood, of lazy weekend afternoons spent in the kitchen with your mother.

"You know," you say, glancing over at Steve as he carefully levels off a cup of flour, "I used to bake cookies with my mom all the time when I was little. It was our Sunday afternoon ritual."

Steve looks up, a soft smile playing at his lips. "That sounds nice. What kind did you make?"

"Oh, all kinds," you reply, whisking the eggs into the butter mixture. "Chocolate chip was a staple, of course. But we baked through most of Martha Stewart’s cookie cookbook.”

“Sweets of any kind were a luxury when I was growing up,” Steve explains,

carefully adding the flour to your mixture.

As he says it, you remember that his formative years took place against the landscape of the Great Depression.

His voice takes on a wistful tone as he continues. "My mom would save up sometimes to make oatmeal cookies for special occasions. I remember the smell filling our tiny apartment."

You pause in your mixing, touched by the image of a young Steve eagerly anticipating his mother's rare treat. "That sounds lovely," you say softly. "I bet those were the best cookies in the world to you."

Steve nods, a faraway look in his eyes. "They really were. I've never tasted anything quite like them since."

There's a moment of comfortable silence as you both work, lost in your own thoughts and memories.

"You know," you say after a while, "I think there's something special about baking. It's not just about the end result, but the process itself. The measuring, the mixing, the way the kitchen fills with warmth and sweet aromas. It's methodical and therapeutic, in a way."

Steve nods thoughtfully as he folds chocolate chips into the dough. "I can see that. Following the steps, creating something with your hands."

You smile, watching him work. There's something endearing about seeing Captain America, the legendary super-soldier, carefully folding chocolate chips into cookie dough. "Exactly. It's a nice change of pace from the constant strategizing and speechwriting we've been doing."

As you work together to scoop the dough onto baking sheets, you find yourself relaxing more and more. The conversation flows easily, punctuated by laughter as you trade stories about kitchen mishaps and childhood memories.

Steve carefully slides the first tray of cookies into the oven, and your inner child buzzes with excellent knowing soon the kitchen will be filled with the warm, sweet aroma of chocolate and vanilla.

You lean against the counter, watching Steve as he sets the timer. There's a domesticity to this moment that catches you off guard, a glimpse of what a normal life with him might look like. It's both thrilling and terrifying. Nothing you’ve done together yet has been conventional in any way, but this is.

You grab a spoon and carve out a scoop of dough to enjoy while you wait. With this kitchen having multiple ovens, all your trays will be done at the same time.

"So, tell me more about your week," you say. "I know we talked every day, but it's not the same as being there."

Steve leans against the counter opposite you, his eyes warm as he considers your question while you savor the sweet, buttery flavor of the raw cookie dough.

"It was...different," he says thoughtfully. "Good in some ways, challenging in others. After everything that happened around Athens and Miami, I felt off-balance for the first couple of days. But the work helped ground me."

You nod, understanding exactly what he means. The campaign trail has a way of demanding your full attention, leaving little room for personal introspection.

"The rallies were energizing," Steve says, a hint of excitement creeping into his voice. "There's something incredible about connecting with people face-to-face, hearing their stories, their hopes for the future." He pauses, his brow furrowing slightly. "But I missed having you there beside me. It felt incomplete."

Your heart flutters at his words, and you try to keep your voice steady as you respond. "I know what you mean. The events with Helen and Zoey were amazing, but I kept turning to share something with you, only to remember you weren't there.”

Steve's eyes soften as he meets your gaze. "I'm glad we're back together now," he says quietly. "It feels right, having you here."

A comfortable silence falls between you, filled with the warm scent of baking cookies. You're acutely aware of Steve's presence across from you, the way his eyes linger on your face. There's an intensity to his gaze that sends a shiver down your spine.

The timer dings, breaking the moment. Steve moves to check the cookies, and you can't help but admire the way he moves, graceful despite his size. He pulls out the trays, the smell of freshly baked cookies filling the kitchen.

"They look perfect," you say, peering over his shoulder. The cookies are golden brown, with melted chocolate chips peeking through.

Steve grins, looking pleased. "Not bad for a couple of amateurs.”

You gather a plate and some glasses from one of the cupboards. Steve fills the plate with cookies while you pour some (your preference) milk, and then the two of you gravitate to the living room and land on the couch, diving into the cookies and more conversation.

As you settle in, the warmth of the freshly baked cookies and the comfort of Steve's presence beside you create a cozy atmosphere. The living room, usually a hub of campaign activity, feels different now - intimate and personal. Like it could really be a home you and Steve could live in.

"These are actually pretty good," Steve says, taking a bite of a cookie. "Maybe we missed our calling as bakers."

You laugh, reaching for your own cookie. "I don't know about that. I think the country might have something to say if we suddenly abandoned the campaign to open a bakery."

"True," Steve chuckles, his eyes crinkling at the corners. "Guess we have a back up plan.”

You laugh, and reach for another cookie.

“I have to admit, some days the idea of pulling the chute and bailing for a simpler life is too tempting."

You nod, understanding exactly what he means. "It's funny, isn't it? How something as simple as baking cookies can feel so... normal. So far removed from the craziness of our lives right now."

Steve nods, his expression thoughtful. "It's moments like these that remind me why we're doing all of this. For a future where people can just live. Bake cookies. Spend time with their families without worrying about the next crisis."

You feel a surge of warmth at his words, at the reminder of the man you married - the one who sees beyond himself, who wants to make the world better for everyone. It’s key to why you were willing to leap blindly into the partnership. "You're right," you say softly. "It's easy to get caught up in the day-to-day chaos of the campaign and forget the bigger picture."

There's a comfortable silence as you both munch on cookies, lost in thought. The ticking of the clock and the distant hum of traffic outside continuing their soothing background noise.

"You know," Steve says after a while, turning to face you more fully on the couch, "If we win, if we don't, either way, things will never be quite 'normal', but..."

He trails off, and you find yourself holding your breath, waiting for him to continue. It's the first time either of you has really broached the subject of your future together beyond the campaign.

"But?" you prompt gently, your heart racing.

Steve meets your eyes, his gaze intense and sincere. "But I'd like to think we could have more moments like this. Quiet evenings, doing ordinary things together. Building a life that's ours, not just the one the public sees."

Your breath catches in your throat at his words. It's a beautiful picture he's painting, one that you've wondered over yourself.

You feel a warmth spreading through your chest at Steve's words. The idea of building a life together, of having more quiet moments like this, is both thrilling and terrifying. You've spent so much time focusing on the campaign, on presenting the perfect image to the public, that you've barely allowed yourself to imagine what comes after. You’re married, but how married are you? How married will you be?

"I'd like that too," you admit softly, your voice barely above a whisper. "It's strange, isn't it? We jumped into this marriage, into this campaign, without really knowing each other. And now..."

"And now?" Steve prompts, his eyes searching yours.

Now I can't imagine my life without you in it you think, but you don’t know if you are ready to say it.

You take a deep breath, mustering up at least some of your courage. "Now whether we're in the White House or not, I want us to keep building this."

Steve's hand finds yours, his fingers intertwining with yours. His touch is warm and comforting, grounding you in the moment.

"I want that too," he says softly, his thumb tracing small circles on the back of your hand. "When I first agreed to this arrangement, I never imagined..." He trails off, shaking his head slightly.

"What?" you ask, your voice barely above a whisper.

Steve's eyes meet yours, filled with an intensity that takes your breath away. "I never imagined I'd feel this way. That we'd fit together so well, not just as partners in the campaign, but as..." He pauses, searching for the right words. "As us."

Your heart races at his admission. It mirrors your own feelings so closely - the surprise at how naturally you've fallen into step with each other, the growing depth of your connection. You've both danced around this topic for months, especially the last weeks as neither of you can help but acknowledge the growing connection between you, but never quite putting it into words until now.

"I know what you mean," you say softly, squeezing his hand. "It's been unexpected, but in the best way possible."

Steve's eyes soften, a mix of relief and joy flickering across his face. His hand tightens around yours. "I'm glad I'm not alone in feeling that way," he says, his voice low and intimate.

The air between you feels charged, thick with unspoken emotions and possibilities. You're acutely aware of how close Steve is sitting, of the warmth of his hand in yours, of the way his eyes keep flickering to your lips.

"Steve," you whisper, your heart pounding.

He leans in slowly, giving you plenty of time to pull away if you want to. But you don't. Instead, you find yourself meeting him halfway.

The kiss is soft and tentative at first, a

gentle press of lips that sends a shiver down your spine. It's nothing like the chaste, public kisses you've shared for the cameras or at your wedding. It’s not even like the rushed spontaneous kiss when you got news of the Santos endorsement.

This is real, intimate, just for the two of you.

Steve's free hand comes up to cup your cheek, his thumb brushing softly against your skin. You lean into his touch, your own hand moving to rest on his chest, feeling the steady thump of his heartbeat beneath your palm.

The kiss deepens, slow and exploratory. There's no rush, no urgency - just the two of you, finally allowing yourselves this moment of connection. It feels both thrilling and familiar, like coming home to a place you've never been before.

When you finally pull apart, you're both slightly breathless. Steve rests his forehead against yours. His eyes are closed, a look of contentment on his face that makes your heart swell. You take a shaky breath, overwhelmed by the intensity of your feelings and the moment you just experienced.

“I’ve been wanting to do that since we left Miami. Or longer.”

“Me, too,” you admit.

You and Steve shift back slightly, creating a small space between you, but your hands remain intertwined. The tension that had been building for weeks has eased, replaced by a warm, comfortable closeness. You both reach for another cookie, exchanging shy smiles.

"These really are good," you say, savoring the rich chocolate flavor. "We make a pretty good team in the kitchen."

Steve chuckles, his thumb absently stroking the back of your hand. "We make a good team everywhere, I think."

You nod, feeling a surge of affection for this man who has become such an integral part of your life. The living room, bathed in the soft glow of the lamps, feels like a cocoon of warmth and safety.

"I think we might need more milk," you say with a soft laugh, reaching for another cookie. The plate between you is already half empty, a testament to your shared sweet tooth and the quality of your baking.

Steve chuckles, the sound rumbling through his chest. "I'll get it," he says, but makes no move to get up, instead pulling you closer.

You sigh contentedly, resting your head on his shoulder.

As the night goes on, the conversation continues to become more intimate, more easy, more comfortable on the couch. Steve eats far too many cookies. You fight the exhaustion that’s been creeping up more insistently, especially as you feel more and more cozy on the couch and nestled against him. But at some point you lose the fight and drift off to sleep and your next moment of awareness is waking up the next morning in a plush king-sized bed, surrounded by luxurious sheets and pillows.

Steve must have carried you upstairs while you were sleeping, and you shift around to see if he’s there, only to find the other side of the bed empty and clearly untouched.

[OCTOBER 6 - MORNING - BROOKLYN BROWNSTONE]

You sigh, more than a little disappointed. But the sweetness of the time you did spend awake together eases the pain, and you have to admit that you would prefer to be alert and aware to appreciate going to bed with your husband for the first time.

You stretch, feeling the soft sheets against your skin. The morning light filters through the curtains, casting a warm glow across the room. For a moment, you allow yourself to imagine waking up next to Steve, his strong arm draped over your waist, his breath warm on your neck.

Shaking off the reverie, you swing your legs over the side of the bed to begin your day. You quickly shower in the en suite bathroom and get ready for the day. This isn’t a familiar space yet, but it is your new home, outfitted with a mix of new and familiar things for you from hair and skincare products to clothes in the closet. As you dress, you catch the faint aroma of coffee wafting up from downstairs along with the bustling noises of other people. The campaign work is already underway for the day, and you give yourself one more quick look before heading down.

Following the scent, you make your way to the kitchen. Steve is there, his back to you as he stands at the counter, pouring coffee into a mug and talking with Jake and Elsa. They immediately clock you coming in and look your way. Steve notices the shift in their attention and looks over his shoulder.

"Good morning," he says, turning to greet you with a warm smile. He looks sharp in a crisp button-down and slacks. "I hope you slept well."

"I did, thank you," you reply, padding over to the coffee maker.

Steve reaches into the cupboard to retrieve a mug and passes it to you.

"Thanks," you say, accepting the mug from Steve with a smile. As you pour your coffee, you can't help but notice how seamlessly he anticipated your needs. It's a small gesture, but it speaks to how in tune you're becoming with each other.

"Just in time to hear the final anticipated schedule for today," Jake says, his tablet in hand.

You nod, taking a sip of your coffee. "Of course. What's first on the agenda?"

As Jake begins to outline the day's activities, you and Steve stand closer to each other, your arm pressed lightly against his - or his arm pressed against yours. Either way, it’s another subtle but normal moment of intimacy.

Oprah and her team will show up around eight for breakfast and introductions. After breakfast, you’ll speak with her people while the do some initial exploration of topics and background stories to give Oprah notes and options to work from. Elsa reiterates - as she explained during the afternoon prep the day before - that this is the approach because Oprah wants her own context but to be able to have conversation within the interview for the first time, not recreating an exchange.

Lunch will be just you and Steve, Bucky and Sam, Oprah, her partner Stedman, and Oprah’s best friend Gayle. While the breakfast is for introductions, lunch is to relax and build rapport before the cameras are set up and you go into the interview.

As Jake finishes outlining the schedule, you can't help but feel a mix of excitement and nervousness about the day ahead. Though you’ve developed relationships with Steve, Bucky, Sam, and many of the campaign staff, including Jake and Sophia, you can’t help wishing someone from your past was here today to be part of it all. The prospect of spending time with Oprah, one of the most influential figures in media, is both thrilling and daunting.

The house starts to buzz with even more activity. Stylists arrive to help you and Steve prepare for the day, and a catering team begins setting up for the breakfast.

You and Steve move to the living room, where Bucky and Sam are already seated, deep in conversation. As you approach, Sam looks up with a grin.

"Morning, lovebirds," he teases, his eyes twinkling with mischief. "Ready for the big day?"

You roll your eyes good-naturedly as you settle onto the couch next to Steve. "As ready as we'll ever be, I suppose."

"You've got this," Bucky reassures you, his eyes warm and supportive.

"Remember," Sam adds, leaning forward with a grin, "if all else fails, just flash that million-dollar smile and charm Oprah like you charmed us."

You nod, grateful for his encouragement, and Steve takes your hand - which fels as much for him as for you.

Sam launches into a story about a particularly disastrous interview he once had, his animated gestures and spot-on impressions soon having all of you in stitches. Over the past few months, you've grown close to both Bucky and Sam. They've become more than just Steve's friends; they're your friends too. Bucky's quiet strength and dry humor have become a source of comfort, while Sam's infectious optimism and quick wit never fail to lift your spirits during the most stressful moments of the campaign.

There’s a stir of commotion, and you assume Oprah and her camp have arrived, but the face that comes around the corner and into the living room isn’t Oprah.

It’s Pepper Potts, CEO of Stark Industries, architect of this presidential plan, and your friend-sister-mentor, impeccably put together as always, in a crisp white blouse and tailored pants, her strawberry blonde hair falling softly over her shoulders.

Your heart leaps at the sight of her, a wave of relief and joy washing over you. Without hesitation, you jump up from the couch and rush to embrace her.

"Pepper!" you exclaim, wrapping your arms around her. "What are you doing here? I had no idea you were coming!"

"Did you really think I'd miss this? This is a huge day for both of you."

As you pull back from the hug, you can feel the sting of tears in your eyes. You had felt it, but hadn't realized how much you had craved an old familiar face, someone who knew you before all of this began.

Pepper smiles warmly, her eyes sparkling with affection. "I couldn't let you face Oprah without some moral support. Plus, I have a bit of experience with high-profile interviews myself."

You laugh, wiping away a stray tear. "You have no idea how glad I am to see you."

Steve approaches, greeting Pepper with a hug as well. "It's great to have you here, Pepper. Thank you for coming."

"Of course," Pepper says, looking between the two of you with a knowing smile. "How are you both holding up?"

"Nervous," you admit. "But more secure now that you're here."

Pepper nods understandingly. "That's perfectly normal. Just remember, Oprah is incredibly skilled at making people feel comfortable. She doesn’t look to trap people or back them into a corner, she’s looking for the heart of the things that are important. Be yourselves, and you'll do great."

As if on cue, there's another commotion at the front door. This time, it's unmistakably Oprah's arrival. The energy in the house shifts instantly, a palpable excitement filling the air.

You take a deep breath, reaching for Steve's hand once more. Pepper gives you both an encouraging nod as you move towards the entryway to greet your guest.

And there she is - Oprah Winfrey, larger than life and yet somehow exactly as warm and approachable as she appears on screen. Her presence fills the room, commanding attention without even trying.

"Good morning!" Oprah greets you both with a dazzling smile, extending her hand. "It's wonderful to finally meet you in person."

Steve steps forward first, extending his hand. "Ms. Winfrey, it's an honor. Thank you for coming."

"Please, call me Oprah," she says, shaking Steve's hand warmly before turning to you. "And you must be Mrs. Rogers. I've been looking forward to getting to know you."

next part: BROOKLYN - THE INTERVIEW

I am sure we didn't find out everything you wanted to about your wedding, but... I had to leave something for Oprah! 🤭

THE UNSUNG HERO OF THIS CHAPTER IS @stargazingfangirl18!!! I was feeling very strung up with some of the ideas that I had intended for this story's plot coming up against some of the ideas that have developed as the chapters have been written, and she helped me get things sorted and to a place where I'm incredibly excited again!

↠ Main Masterlist | Aspen's Ask Box | Field Guide to the Forest

I do not do tag lists, but FOLLOW @buckets-and-stories and TURN ON NOTIFICATIONS to be updated any time I publish a new work!

[tevanbegins]

The only people thinking that Bucktommy's storyline is ruining the show are the B*ddie fanatics and the homophobic fans who are disappointed that Buck came out as queer. However, the rest of the viewers don't think that way at all. Even if you put aside the BT fandom, the general audiences still enjoy the show. The improved viewership ratings reflect that.

BoBs don't want Buck to end up with the first ever man he has dated (this only bc said man isn't Eddie); they believe he needs to 'explore' his bisexuality more. The GA, on the other hand, is happy to see that Buck is finally settling into a stable, healthy relationship with a caring partner who respects him and reciprocates his feelings equally. Apart from many queer fans who are celebrating this crucial LGBTQ+ representation, most of the GA probably doesn't even care that Buck is with a man and the queerness of it all. They just like seeing a beloved character finally finding true love, after seasons of stumbling through a series of failed relationships.

Buck and Tommy's love story not only sustained the existing viewership, but boosted it further by drawing in plenty more new viewers to the show. This is apparent through the impressive ratings, and the fact that the show's renewal for season 8 was confirmed not long after 'Buck, Bothered and Bewildered' aired.

Another thing that BoBs don't realise is that the GA also comprises casual watchers and people who might not care about Buck or Eddie at all. The show has an Oscar & Emmy-winning actress among its main cast - Angela Bassett. It also has another beloved veteran actor like Peter Krause. There are people who are watching this show for them. There are people who may be far more invested in Bobby-Athena, Maddie-Chimney, or the Hen-Karen storylines than whatever the hell's going on with Buck or Eddie. Or there may be audiences who appreciate the platonic friendship between Buck-Eddie the same way they like Hen-Chimney or Hen-Athena with zero expectation of it turning romantic.

The only reason why it seems that B*ddie is the most popular thing about 9-1-1 is that their fandom is a loud and hyperactive majority across social media. Other fandom stans and GA/casual viewers may not be as dominant on socials, but they exist in a lot higher numbers than BoBs can ever imagine. BoBs overestimate their clout.

Bucktommies obviously love Tommy Kinard with their whole hearts, adore how good he is with Buck, and so would love for them to be endgame. But BoBs don't realise that even the audiences that are not hugely invested in Tevan as us BTs, are not losing sleep over the fact that Buck is with Tommy and not Eddie. They watch the show for other characters and storylines and all the drama and action. Buck's love life doesn't hamper their enjoyment of the show; they may be neutral to it. Even if not all of them maybe loving Tommy, doesn't mean they hate him either.

Again, the reason why Buck or Eddie's past relationships with their female LIs weren't popular even among the GA the way Madney, Henren, or Bathena are, is not because they wanted Buck and Eddie to end up together. I believe it's because those romantic storylines were half-baked or poorly-written, not making the casual viewer care enough. If Buck ever had a female LI with as much potential as Tommy, or if Eddie could treat a partner decently, those hypothetical ships could become popular too. People enjoy Bucktommy because of how beautiful their love story is overall, not simply because it's a 'queer' love story. Their storyline has the potential to be long-term, and Tommy being well-integrated with the rest of the characters solidifies the possibility of him and Buck going a long way.

What excuse would the BoBs who want Buck to experiment have had if Buck hadn't come out last season and Tommy were a woman? What if that storyline would still show a positive romantic development for Buck where the new female LI put in an equal amount of effort into the relationship, like Tommy has? Yes, a lot of the initial hype around Bucktommy was because it's a queer love story, but even if you replaced Tommy with a female character and made her care about Buck the same way that Tommy does, or have Buck be as smitten with her as he is with Tommy, many audiences would still dig that.

The same-sex aspect of it is just icing on the cake; the cake would still have been delicious if baked well (but the icing is significant for queer fans who crave good representation on TV.) But integrating Buck's bisexuality arc into a thriving relationship with a pre-established character is a welcome development for queer fans and GA alike. The viewership stats prove that Bucktommy is definitely not damaging the show, but contributing to making it more successful if anything.

So the BoBs need to know that all their constant whining, cyberbullying and Tommy/LFJR slander is not going to scare ABC or the showrunner & writing staff into giving them what they want. B*ddie fanatics are too tiny a portion of this gigantic equation (that exists far beyond the confines of social media), and losing them is not going to affect the network or the people making the show.

Even in the unfortunate scenario that Bucktommy doesn't last, most of the GA/casual viewers will still not stop watching the show. We BTs will be heartbroken and cry for a few weeks and then move on, because the show's writers can do what they want and owe us nothing. But we're not going to spend years bullying and threatening them for not making our ship endgame. That's the power of GA and the show will continue for as long as it has the ratings and network support to back it up, regardless of who Buck ends up with.

And for now, the GA is enjoying Buck with Tommy, so luckily things aren't looking too shabby for the BT fandom and the storyline should stay its course unless the writers decide otherwise, which they don't really have a reason to given the largely positive response reflected through the ratings. Even though we can't predict what happens in the future, we'll cherish every small or big Bucktommy win that comes our way until then! BoBs can keep screaming into the void as usual, but things wouldn't change because they think they can make it happen. That's all.

___

[chordsykat]

Dethkomic III Casting Call

Alright, gang. It's time... Send me your characters to cameo in Dethkomic. Because this time around, these idiots could use all the help they can get.

It's the last-hurrah of Dethkomic. The final five issues. Endgame. Show's over. Curtain call.

So let's make it extra special by inviting as many OCs/self-inserts as we can, hey?

DISCLAIMER: If you've had an OC in the comics previously, you don't need to ask me to include them. They're already involved. As a thank you for sticking with me over the last 3 years, 8 issues, and 200+ pages, they'll be a little more involved than newcomers, but I still want to give any new people lending me their MTL children as much "screen time" as possible. That said...

An appearance is guaranteed for all who submit an application. Just one character per person, please! And you do the picking – don’t make me choose between multiples. I am terrible at that. :) Reference sheets with art are best, but I also take written descriptions, celebrity stand-ins, and that kind of stuff, too!

Feel free to give me an idea of anything they wouldn't do. There'll probably be ample crowd shots but if there aren't too many, I like to give these supporting roles at least a line of dialogue or some active involvement that's on-character.

And that's it! Send me a note on here and you're in! Please note that I have the right to refuse a character for any reason, but if you're not trolling, you'll probably get in.

Cheers! And I look forward to updating the comic in the coming weeks!

[mygnolia]

get better! | 6. join stream 4 special guest

SMAU! synopsis -› in which your neighbor and popular twitch streamer park sunghoon breaks his arm, so he switches to vlog style content that matches up with yours! now everyone’s curious why 1) you have a cute boy in your apartment, 2) sunghoon’s not on his grind anymore, and 3) when are you two going to date!?

[1.9K WC] To be neighbors in the same apartment complex is a blessing- especially when all of your friends are across town. When you knock on Sunghoon’s door, it’s followed by a loud sound akin to a crash (is sunghoon okay???), before Sunghoon opens the door running a hand through his hair, feeling nervous.

“Hi.” He chokes out. “Come in.” You glance at his cast to make sure he’s okay, and despite his tweet from earlier where he took it off, it looks fine.

“Hi..? You..okay?” and the boy in question gives you a tight lipped smile. Was he…nervous?

You take in his apartment- it’s minimalistic in the best way, with succulents on the windows and polaroids of him and his friends hanging near the TV. While much of the furniture is white, it looks clean, and you’re glad that Sunghoon really does take care of his space. Twitch must pay him well (or used to) to have an apartment this nice.

He ushers you to his gaming room, where you see his extensive set-up. With monitors, cameras, headphones, and a glowing keyboard, you’re enamored by the way he’s gotten everything set-up all without his wires being tangled.

“I’m live- but I’m muted.” He starts, and his camera records him saying something, but the live audience on the other side is curious as to who he’s talking to since you were out of frame.

“Wait, I need a chair, right?” And it makes Sunghoon pause his one handed typing on the keyboard, mumbling a quiet ‘oh,’ before he stands back up.

“Here. Sit.” Sunghoon pushes you slightly to the gaming chair before your can protest, his movement awkward and robotic as he makes you sit down. The thought of Sunghoon being as nervous as you makes you smile, before you remember who you’re in front of.

‘IS THAT HIS GF’ ‘omg with yn rent free’ ‘YNNN I LOVE UR VIDS’ ‘bro they’re LITERALLY DATING’

When your eyes scan the messages, you call for Sunghoon to come back, who’s barely passed the door. “Let me unmute and introduce myself.” You suggest. And the streamer finds his palm becoming even more sweaty as he clicks a few buttons to turn the mic on. You watch him intently, and send him a warm smile as your thanks.

“Hi guys.” you wave at the camera before giving him the green light to get the chair that you need.

‘omg she’s so pretty’ ‘who is this wtf’ ‘where’s hoon lol’ ‘HIII YNNNNN’

A smile makes it’s way on your face with the last message. “My name is ____, and Sunghoon’s invited me over. Did he say anything to you guys?”

‘stream is called join live 4 special guest’ ‘nooo he never said anything’ ‘are you two tgt or what’

“We’re not together.” You confirm with a nervous smile, afraid of what would happen if his diehard fans found out about his relationship. “He’s just here to teach me bedwars.” The chat gets even faster- if it’s even possible. Questions and theories about your friendship with Sunghoon continue to pop up. “But don’t leave!” You say after you see some disinterest. “You guys should totally learn with me. Is there anyone who also doesn’t know how to play? Just..” You try to find the right words. “Think of Sunghoon as like, your boyfriend who’s teaching you bedwars.”

‘are he the one you keep tweeting about’ ‘YN IS HERE WOAHH’ ‘no yn you’re the gf he’s teaching’ ’so endgame couple!!’

The scraping of the chair as your neighbor tries to bring it in with one hand is funny to listen to outside of the door, and you giggle when you hear him curse, leaning out of frame to see if he’s okay or if he needs help.

“I heard that.” Sunghoon says when he’s in your range of vision, and it catches on the mic. With the way his viewers see your face light up now that he’s here, they automatically assume you two really have something going on. You’re only relieved to have him take over, no longer having to see some of the negative messages that fly by. At least on YouTube, you could ignore it all. Here? it’s all live, and you see it all.

Sunghoon sets up the chair and makes sure you’re comfortable before assuming his spot.

“What’s up bae-bees?” And you fight yet another smile at that stupid name. “This is Y/N. Makes vlog content but I think my gameplay is much more fun to watch. And by the way, check out our Q n A on her channel.” He glances over to you, and now that you’re properly able to look at him, you see the makeup that he had on for the photoshoot; and you can’t just not admit that Sunghoon is cute with his blush across the nose and freckles. You saw the after photoshoot post from him, too.

‘wait so dating rumors..???’ ‘DATING OR SIBLINGS’

“Are you two dating? Absolutely not.” He sends you a teasing grin, one that makes you swat at his shoulder with an indignant look- yeah, you’re not beating these dating allegations.

“Wow, you hate me? We spend like, 7 hours together the other day, and then you texted me saying you were outside- I thought we were friends!” And Sunghoon feels a flood of panic pass through him. Yes- he knows exactly what you mean. But his chat? his friends? Everyone who has just heard you speak? They have zero idea without context.

You’re not use to phrasing things as a streamer, and in an effort to calm his faster than light chat, Sunghoon stammers, “Yeah, we were cleaning so much of your new place. And those texts were all jokes- I’d never do that to a friend.”

Nodding in agreement without understanding the commotion you’ve caused, you try to read more of the chat.

‘pick me’ ‘ur too cute for her’ ‘she’s so cringe’

When Sunghoon sees the same things you do, his expression hardens, suddenly feeling upset. He was worried that this would happen. “Just because ____ isn’t in the gaming space or a streamer doesn’t mean you guys have the right to be mean to her. She puts in just as much effort into her videos and marketing her channel as much as I do for my gameplays. Please be nice, or I won’t be as willing to do special streams in the future.”

With appreciation, you pat his wrist, which is out of frame. You’re not really sure how to defend yourself against such baseless accusations, and considering Sunghoon’s not even your boyfriend, they have a reason to be so much more toxic and rude towards you without him defending you the way a boyfriend would.

“Maybe I should leave-“ You whisper to only him, suddenly feeling self-conscious.

Sunghoon shakes his head. “No, let me return the favor- plus, you wanted to learn bedwars. I’ll teach you the ropes.” His reassuring words make you feel more inclined to stay, not feeling as negative and embarrassed as before. He returns his attention to the chat after uncovering his mic, seeing some of his friends have seen the special title for today’s stream and joined.

“Hi Riki, Hee, Jay. Where’s Jake?” You peer over to see their verified badges with special colors appear, and Sunghoon reads their comments out loud. “Okay- enough of that. I’ll be teaching her how to play, now, so I might not be checking chat. As always, please be nice, and seeing as all my friends are in chat, there are even more mods available to ban you guys.” His voice is stern, but you can tell how much Sunghoon hates being mean to his fans.

simjake: ‘hi y/n please kick his ass so he’ll stfu.’

Sunghoon catches he quicker than you do, reading it with widened eyes. “Please kick his ass so he’ll shut the fuck up? Dude, If we’re on fortnite tonight, you’re last choice for squads.”

“But you can’t even play, Sunghoon.” You point out, and he frowns- trying his best to pretend that a kid on a bike wasn’t the whole reason he’s going bankrupt.

“I’m learning how to use it with the cast.”

“Don’t doctors tell you to literally not use it so it heals faster?” And he shrugs. Sunghoon’s arm really isn’t healing anytime soon, even if he swears it is.

“Well- anyways.” He uses his good arm to pull up the running tab for Minecraft, his avatar already in an empty lobby for you to practice. “Y/N is going to learn bedwars!”

Your face falls, and you look over to Sunghoon in horror. “I thought we were going to learn first. Without the stream.

He shakes his head with a half shrug, and moves his mouse around to make sure it’s still working like how he needs it to. “I think chat will find it funny to watch.”

You straighten up with determination and tell him to scoot over so you can place your hands on and familiarize yourself with the keyboard.

“Try the spacebar,” Sunghoon says with pride, and you laugh at how nerdy it sounds coming from him. After clicking the key a few times, and experimentally typing in the MInecraft chat, he begins to explain how to play, and you do your best to listen to him as he instructs you. “You know how to play, yes?” And your slight experience whenever you come to play on Sunoo’s set-up comes in handy for basic things like managing the game controls.

His 20k viewers all noticed a few things that neither of you picked up- both too engrossed in learning how to bridge without falling off, but also trying to fight and defend from other players.

They noticed how you liked to poke fun at Sunghoon sometimes- similar to your Youtube video where you’d make small but funny digs, and Sunghoon would go along with it. Everyone noticed how he was gently reassuring you with a hand on your shoulder or his fingers intertwining with yours when you stood up in frustration to pull it back to the mouse. Sunghoon here wasn’t the same flirty streamer who read his chat, called people his wife, or yelled at his friends (all in good fun!) when they lost match point; he was doting, and calm, with eye-crinkling smiles and praises everytime you bridged enough blocks to the other side. And after a bit more than an hour, you became tired of falling off the cliff from dynamite, or running out of golden apples to eat when you were running away- all to Sunghoon’s amusement.

You bid farewell to his chat, who all had fun watching you get excited while playing. For the gamers who watched Sunghoon’s channel, you le gameplay and reactions reminded them of the excitement it felt to play for the first time, and the problems they used to encounter trying to get better.

Sunghoon returns, with his chin resting on his good hand was he lazily reads chat. “He’s so in love.” He reads, scoffing. “Absolutely not, me and her are just friends. I’d do it for anyone.”

‘he’s so whipped’ simjake: ‘simphoon’ ‘someone get this man a gf’ heeonmic: ‘SIMPHOON BYEEE’

For the rest of his live, Sunghoon practices playing, blaming you offhandedly for cursing his keyboard and it was the reason why he was doing so bad. “Stop bothering ____ with us dating. Honestly she probably doesn’t even want a boyfriend.”

And how he was wrong.

prev. | ml. | next.

REN SAYS... i am my own writer. yes, i included sunghoon's selfie with biceps even though technically it wasn't needed because my brain needs it to be canon...

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[cecilysass]

Mulder’s Depressed Vampire Sex: Me on 3

You know, I like the episode 3. I mean, not the casefile part of 3, which is whatever whatever, but the important part: the blood fetishist lady has her way with Mulder and then he cries.

I definitely loathed the episode back when the show was airing. Back then it seemed like it was intentionally hostile to the ship—like going out of its way to be hostile, having Kristen tell Mulder shit like “I can tell you’re missing someone, but attention please: just a friend. Definitely not more!!!” I honestly kind of felt like she was looking out of the screen directly at me when she said it.

But looking back, knowing that MSR was endgame (and that fans kinda took over the narrative anyway), I definitely see the episode totally differently.

From a Mulder character arc point of view, this episode is all about him being a sad, sad boy. It is all about his depression, his hopelessness, his grief for Scully. It’s also about his drive to try to save women and girls in order to save himself. And he so often seems to fail at this when it is someone he cares about (or even when it is someone he has a fleeting connection with, like Kristen). And that’s so, so devastating for him. In that sense, this episode is a really desperate expression of his grief and frustration.

The HIV/AIDS angle to this ep is super important, too, so we have to make sure we’re getting into the full 1994 mindset on this. Mulder says in alarm to Kristen back in the club, when she’s playing fast and loose with blood: “AIDS. Aren’t you afraid?” (To which she responds that she wants to die.) Mulder knows that HIV transmission through sharing fluids is no joke in 1994 (it probably really shouldn’t be now either, but that’s not today’s lecture). Yet later, when Kristen is shaving him and he’s nicked, he allows this to be the catalyst for sex, even as he makes attempts to stop her from tasting his blood.

So his choice to have sex with Kristen is depicted as reckless, with someone who has been shown being careless about HIV. And he is doing it not just because he is turned on, but because he is being intentionally reckless with himself, clearly knowing the consequences. He shows concern for her, yes, but he’s also self destructive. He wants to fuck the hot vampire, but he also wants to fuck with death.

In other words, there’s a difference between what the episode tells us about Mulder’s relationship to Scully and what it shows us. And what the episode shows us about their relationship is that Scully is central enough in his life that everything is fundamentally affected by her abduction. He’s broken. He’s visibly depressed. He makes decisions that risk his job and his life. All the while he is actually choosing to wear her cross: a symbol that traditionally wards off vampires, as Kristen observes, but also keeps Scully’s presence in his mind constantly and in every frame of the episode he's in. And the episode ends with him looking like a hero in a romance novel mournfully casting his eyes to the hills clutching her cross in his hand.

None of this obviously communicates “I miss my work friend,” right? No objective observer would see this and say, “ah, he clearly is missing someone—most likely a friend, I would say.” But probably that’s exactly why they included Kristen’s “just a friend” line. They knew his grief in this episode was reading very powerfully, and they didn’t want it to seem overtly romantic.

I also feel like it’s kind of significant that the only time we actually see Mulder have confirmed sex with someone (besides Scully later) is when he’s depressed and Scully is gone. Linking his grief for Scully to his very-rarely-seen acting out on sexual desire like this also seems kind of psychologically sus to me, but I don’t know, I read a lot of fanfic.

Speaking of which, I did a little fanfic search for 3. And unless I am missing obvious fics (always a possibility), it was kind of difficult. Partly because this is a stupidly hard episode to look in search engines for. (No one should ever name episodes after numbers, although this one I will forgive because it’s from 1994 and they couldn’t have fully understood about Google and AO3.)

But also I just think there hasn’t been a ton of 3 fanfic, probably because this episode isn’t very well-liked. And listen, I get that Scully isn’t in it, which is often unappealing for writers, and there is Mulder/other, which people don’t like. But I feel like there are a lot of possibilities for story ideas here that don’t necessarily take place during the events of the episode. Like: how does it affect them later? Personally I like fics where Mulder and Scully discuss the events of the episode long after (actually I wrote one, which I included in my recs because I’m not that cool). I also think Mulder’s angst and depression has a lot of ways it could go—not to mention it’s the last canonically confirmed time he has sex before like 2000 or something. And it seems like AU takes on what happened to Kristen could be interesting. So what I'm saying is: maybe try writing 3 fics.

3 Fanfic Recs

Three is a Crowd - wendelah1 Mulder has sex with Kristen but can’t stop thinking of Scully.

Analgesic- settledownfrohike Mulder has sex with Kristen but can’t stop being a self-loathing, self-destructive mess. And thinking of Scully.

The Woman In His Heart - Spangle This shorter piece frames Mulder’s time with Kristen as a revelation about his feelings. Angsty and nicely observed. A 2005 Spooky winner, evidently.

False Dawn - emmbright A sharply etched portrait of how Mulder moves through his life between 3 and One Breath. For me this fills in the blanks perfectly.

Dreams - Characteristically_Exuberant This is actually a (great) post-ep for Field Trip, and the events of 3 aren’t the main focus of the fic. But I like how this author discusses what happened with Mulder in that episode and contextualizes it for both agents.

We’re Not Here To Get Involved In Personal Problems - cecily_sass This is mine, also not really a 3 post-ep; it’s an X-Cops post-ep. I feel a little silly including it. But I had them discuss the events of 3 in this fic in a way that sort of lays out my own thesis of the episode, and I thought, hey, it’s my list. Mulder and Scully walk to a gas station in Willow Park in Los Angeles the morning after X-Cops; they discuss plenty.

Any others? I feel like I probably missed some.

[sara-yuna]

Byler proof needed plz talk about interviews im desperateeeee

Heeey 🤗

aww so let me see, I hope I understand your question correctly. I looked though all the interviews again and there is so much:

1) Pre season 4: the interview with David 😂

we all know that he is a spoiler king and he cannot hold himself back sometimes, so if he is really hyped, he spills a lot of things (like at the panel with Millie before season 2 where she almost killed him 😂)

Finn is like: "Yeah you will see who he is interested in" and David goes: "..veeery interested" 🤭

2. It's obviously central to the plot and we all know that Finn doesn't like Mileven that much like in that interview when he said "you wish" to Millie when she said that they are getting married (mileven) 😂

3. In contrast to that, Finn looks so excited and is almost blushing everytime he talks about Byler or the possibility.

In that interview he said there was a "mutual understanding and acceptance" when he was asked about Mike and the van scene.

Why mutual? because Mike feels the same 😇

4. Then of course the famous: "It will pay off" regarding to the van scene when he was asked and he shared that the duffers told him that. Why will it pay off? Because Byler endgame!!

5. "Together or separate, I'm not really sure" (Mileven season 5) 🤭

6. Millie doesn't ship them either... after season 4 and said this:

"Eleven is like 'If he doesn't love me, he doesn't love me' and 'El needs to stand on her own two feet" -> breakup incoming guys 😂

7. Noah our spoiler king!

Noah is the biggest Byler shipper of course we all know that and he can't stop himself sometimes. In this FanMio he was asked by a fan about Byler (season 4) and he spilled this:

So Byler is in season 4? And it wouldn't be there for no reason, of course it builds up to season 5.

8. Recently he also had the panel in the US where he said: "you could never really tell if it was a friendship or something romantic" and he didn't want to spoiler something and feared it would get him in trouble (the duffers definitely told him to stfu 😂).

Of course that means that it's going to get addressed in season 5. 💛💙

9. He said at another panel after season 4 that the duffers are smart and that they planned everything from the beginning (including Will's feelings for Mike), here is that interview:

10. Just Finn's face when they show him the cringy scene at the end of season 4 and the big "love confession"

In conclusion: BYLER ENDGAME🙏💙💛

● Here is also the video with a good summary of Byler proof interviews/cast reactions:

Hope this helps!!

Sorry if this answer is all over the place, my ADHD wants me to do everything almost instantly and without taking my time 😂

[impactrueno]

I don't think the crew's comments about Lydia and Beetlejuice being endgame should be taken seriously. If that was seriously considered I feel like the movie would have gone on a different direction, they were pretty consistent with Lydia being disgusted by Beetlejuice and he's the villain all the way to the end

yeah that's kiiind of how i feel too. i would not say he's the villain though? i think he's more of an anti-hero type of character in this one. definitely not a good guy though lol not by a long shot

ultimately the cast isn't the one who's making the story here, however they do have some insight the audience might not have. like i feel like they know something we don't and that's why they feel that way, because they were all VERY sure about it.

this is just my guess so take this with a grain of salt, but i feel like the cast might be a little biased because they know michael personally and he's nice to everyone behind the scenes, you can tell everyone has a lot of love for him. i don't like assuming stuff like this so AGAIN don't take this as fact, but i remember winona saying something along the lines of like, him making sure she wasn't uncomfortable while filming the first movie, so maybe that kinda stuck with her and she conflated it with beetlejuice's character. she speaks of the whole thing in a very shy fangirl manner (which is honestly kind of adorable winona youre 52 and acting like this) like she knows it's silly and she knows she shouldn't want them to be endgame but she does anyway. so THAT feels like it really is her own personal opinion that hasn't much to do with what's planned for them (if there's anything planned at all because we don't know anything for sure, we can only guess and hope there'll be a third one)

tim burton has talked about how he wanted the whole macarthur park scene to be straightforwardly romantic and emotionally intimate, in its own fucked up beetlejuicey way of course. i think it can be all that and still be pretty one-sided idk i personally enjoy the one-sided aspect? macarthur park IS a breakup song after all. so i think i kinda see where he was going with that. it's uh. kind of an enigmatic scene once you stop laughing at the ridiculousness of it all and try to analyze it lol

sorry i lost my train of thought there i got interrupted many times while typing this

i think what i was trying to say is that, even with the one-sidedness and breakup song and all that, there could still be a possibility that things take a strange turn in a third movie if it happens. it's just. wow. how would they even make THAT work, you know? because this movie didn't push hard enough in that direction. it's not impossible but if they do go for it, it will be insanely hard to pull off successfully. fics are one thing, you can do whatever you want in fanfiction, but canon can't be approached like that.

who knows man. lately i've been thinking about how i would've reacted to learning about the events of the sequel if i hadn't been eased into it with trailers and promos and through the movie and its storytelling, and i just know i would've thought "that's insane and would not happen, ever, come on" and now here i am. accepting it. breaking it down and analyzing it. enjoying it! i love this crazy ass movie.

at this point i think anything could happen even if i'm also very skeptic about everything. i won't believe anything until i see it.