#and once again its really not that serious

[prettyiwa]

suo and handholding #43 >:333

hihihi i know you will excel, very excited :3 AND HI ILY

Clear Enough

Relationship: Suo Hayato x Reader Content Tags: Post-Canon, Wound Tending, Suo's surprisingly serious, Reader's tired of living in the opacity of their friendship, Almost/Not Quite Confessions, Profanity Word Count: 1.4k 😭

A/N: I also threw in 33 because why not? (33. bandaging the other’s hand and not quite letting go. 43. raising the other’s hand to their lips to kiss it softly). Writing Warm-Up Game

The shadows outside grow long as the sun continues its descent, evening taking hold while Suo fusses to the left of you. A sliver of guilt eats at you, but it’s buried entirely by the discomfort of him having been the one in the area to respond. Even as he takes your hand in his, busted and sore and in need of the attention he seemed so eager to give, you can’t look at him.

“Who taught you how to throw a punch?” His tone is conversational, words weaved behind his genial mask, though you think there’s something pressing behind his query.

Throwing a glance in his direction, you find him without his smirk, his eye clouded with some unknown emotion in the brief second it meets yours before dropping to your knuckles.

“That’s what you wanted to ask?” If anything, you thought he’d ask why, especially since he jumped in and got his hands dirty to prevent you from taking the next punch thrown.

“What would I ask instead?” Suo’s hair falls in his face, swaying as he moves his head.

He dabs a sanitary wipe on the broken skin, making it sting, pulling a light hiss from you as you suck in a breath. That mask falters, the barest grimace pulling down the line of his mouth as his chin dimples ever so slightly. A moment passes, then the mask returns, his expression growing smooth.

“I don’t know,” you say, the words laced with exasperation, allowing him to smile, however disingenuous. “Maybe why I punched some guy to begin with?”

He looks up, his smile still there, the one he uses to hide what he’s thinking. His eye lingers on you, studying your face in that way that’s always made you feel unnervingly seen. (Unnervingly because you never know what he’s thinking, never aware of what conclusions he draws). There’s another sting as the wipe presses against the open skin once more and his gaze drops to your hand when you clench your fingers around his.

“Does it matter?”

“I mean… considering you stepped in for me, maybe? Don’t you care about why you got into a fight today?”

There’s a thundering in your chest, pounding in your ears in a way that not even your adrenaline-fueled confrontation managed. He waits a minute, intent on your hand, and you wonder whether he can hear it himself.

“I know why I got into a fight today. Do you?” There’s something weighted to his question, something more to what he’s asking, something that makes you squirm.

It’s never been fun when he gets like this, intentions obfuscated unnecessarily. Perhaps if he came out and said what he’s thinking, you’d be inclined to answer him. You bite your tongue and ignore the heat of his stare until he shifts, grabbing the cotton swabs with antibiotic ointment, never releasing your hand as he does so. Only after he starts dabbing the skin does he speak again.

“Oh? I answer your questions, but you can’t answer mine?”

“I never like your questions.” They’re always so pointed, digging at things you’d rather went unsaid. Asking to reveal things of yourself while he remains as elusive as ever.

He simply hums, the sound piquing your curiosity enough to pull your focus back to his face. The smirk is gone, his mouth turned into a frown.

Shit. Is he really bothered by that?

With a sigh, you acquiesce. “Fine. I’ll answer one of your questions.”

Suo’s smile is too quick, leaving you feeling like a mouse caught in a trap. (Fuck). “How about the first one?”

“Which was that?” A bit petulant, perhaps, but he deserves it for the move he just pulled.

He finishes, cotton swab held firmly between the fingers of his right hand as he watches you carefully, picking you apart before enunciating each word. “Who taught you how to punch?”

When you sigh, it carries the weight of the answer you didn’t give before, appeasing him enough to put down the swab and reach for the bandages, releasing your hand.

“Sakura.”

The way he pauses makes you think your answer comes as a surprise. “Sakura?”

(The lift to his question certainly would suggest it to be a surprise).

You can’t help but smile, satisfied with the genuine expression of astonishment—he’s never been able to fabricate the genuine article in any of his acts. “You sound so surprised.”

“How did that happen?”

As he wraps your hand, movements sure and practiced, you’re taken back to all the times it was you patching up Bofurin boys instead, Suo never among them.

“I asked him.”

“Didn’t realize you two were so close.”

“Do I need to be close to him to learn how to deck someone? Besides, I’ve technically known Sakura longer than you.” Both longer than Suo’s known him, and longer than you’ve known Suo. (By a day, but fuck it. You’re already being a little petty).

“I would’ve taught you.”

Why does he sound so… ?

“Didn’t think you would’ve wanted to.” Suo’s never been happy with your proximity to any fights, always stepping in and handling it before anyone could so much as say anything threatening to you. Sakura, at least, always tried to let you handle things on your own before it was too late. He just seemed the more accessible choice.

Suo finishes, the fingers of his left hand tapping against your bandaged palm before he adjusts his hold, your palms locking together as his fingers gently wrap around the base of your hand. You aren’t expecting it when he leans in slightly, commanding your attention with his singular focus. “Why wouldn’t I want to?”

Your throat seizes and it feels like he’s trying to pull the truth from you as he’s always done, leaving you frayed. This back and forth, not knowing where you actually stand with him while he toys with you…

“I dunno. Sometimes I just…” The words get caught on your tongue, your lips moving without any sound coming out, a knot forming behind your sternum.

“You just?” When he tilts his head, his earrings sway, giving you something to look at instead of maintaining eye contact.

“Never mind.”

Suo pulls on your hand, dragging it closer to him in a silent bid for your attention. “Tell me.”

With your exhale, a decidedly pathetic sound, he leans closer. “Sometimes you leave me wondering what you want from me. And… sometimes it makes it difficult to be around you.”

He pulls back slightly, relieving you from the intensity of his stare, turning to the side. “I see.” He turns back to you, eye closed, making him look deceptively serene despite the minute energy that buzzes off him, transferring where he touches your hand. When he smiles, it’s different from before, softer than most you’ve seen from him. After a beat, he looks at you again, and that’s softer, too. “Aren’t you being silly?”

Suo’s smile widens when you click your tongue at him, rewarding him with a half-hearted glare as that knot tightens. “I’m being silly? For what? Never knowing when you’re being flippant or genuine?”

“You know me better than you think. I’ve been exceedingly obvious.”

The roll of your eyes comes on your sigh, annoyance and disbelief mingling in your gut, churning into something that feels uncomfortably close to a revelation. Honestly, you’d rather not get your hopes up again. “Have you now?”

“You still doubt me?”

There’s a light in his eye, a tiny spark of mischief that keeps you from looking away. Pulling on your hand once more, he lifts it as he brings it close. Your inhale gets stuck in the back of your throat, the rapid-fire of your heart seemingly stopping altogether as you watch him bring your hand to his lips. His eye closes and you feel the brush of his breath on your fingers before he presses a light kiss to your freshly bandaged knuckles, lips lingering. Before he pulls away, he opens his eye, leaving himself open in a way he’s never done before.

It frightens you if only because you’re still worried that he’ll pull away entirely, always experiencing your friendship through an opaque lens.

“Is that clear enough?”

It should be. For Suo, it essentially is, actions always speaking louder than his words. But you can’t help yourself when you say, words escaping on your wispy exhale, “Not even a little.”

Wind Breaker Masterlist

[fuji-sen]

pt. 2 Perfect Partner Phainon! | Phainon x Reader

in celebration of the fact that I got Phainon!!!

Phainon x gn! reader, numerous cycles, sprinkled angst, best boi Phainon , best partner Phainon , a bit obsessed but very much in-love with you.

[ part 1: Phainon's pov ]

Part 2: Perfect Partner Phainon!

[ part 3: Loving partner Y/n ]

⋆˙⟡ Your boyfriend Phainon was perfect, his looks, personality that reminded you of a golden retriever, from the way that he carried himself and his actions.

⋆˙⟡ it was the little things that made him such a good partner, and sometimes it was those too much little things that made you wonder if he stalked you beforehand.

⋆˙⟡ he knew a lot of things about you after all! favorite food, favorite colors, when and where you took naps, where you usually walked around the city.

⋆˙⟡ the fact that he knew a lot about you should have worried you, but it didn't, you can tell that his actions and feelings were genuine and sincere, meant to show his affections rather than to unnerve you, besides with his charming smile and personality, even if he were a bad omen, you didn't seem to mind.

⋆˙⟡ befitting of his 'perfect' status, Phainon planned the perfect confession, the perfect dates, the perfect first night with you. It was like he knew how you wanted things to unfold.

⋆˙⟡ when he confessed to you it was accompanied by your favorite flowers/food, in a private/public space where you'd be comfortable in the spot where the two of you met just like it was fate. His words were sweet but not suffocating, he didn't force an answer out of you, nor was he impatient.

⋆˙⟡ of course we wouldn't be talking about this if you had rejected him right?

⋆˙⟡ then the dates, accommodating both of your schedules, in places both familiar and unfamiliar.

"why don't you try this [dish], I know for sure you'll love it."

he knew things about you you were still trying to figure out, he knew what you'd for sure like or hate as well, perhaps he knew you so intimately that he could tell himself?

"I think you should order a different drink, this one is too bitter for your tastes"

Taking a chance to see how accurate his radar was you still decided to test the new drink out, and safe to say, he was right.

⋆˙⟡ ⋆˙⟡ ⋆˙⟡ ⋆˙⟡ ⋆˙⟡ ⋆˙⟡ ⋆˙⟡ ⋆˙⟡ ⋆˙⟡ ⋆˙⟡ ⋆˙⟡ ⋆˙⟡ ⋆˙⟡ ⋆˙⟡ ⋆˙⟡ ⋆˙⟡ ⋆˙⟡

Trinkets you knew you'd like, clothes that fitted you beautifully and comfortably, sweet gestures he knew you wouldn't mind, he was perfect, and yet.

"How do you know that I'll like this?" you asked as the both of you were watching a public play in the streets, one that happened so rarely "I mean you're not wrong but. ." You turned to watch the expression on your beloved partner's face

"Its probably fate, like we are destined to be together." he smiled softly, eyes holding so much love for you, despite seeing that look on his face, that look focused on you, it still made your heart flutter and stomach flip with butterflies, still despite the sweet words and soft looks you huffed, poking his sides "can't you be serious"

"I suppose I just know you well because of how much I love you?"

"Hmm is it uncomfortable for you?" "Not really" you sighed, leaning on him, head on his shoulder "It's just, you're so perfect, and I'm just me."

"Don't say it like that" he frowned, cupping your cheek as the both of you turned once again, staring into each other, face to face, "you're you, and you're perfect just the way you are, that's why I fell in love with you."

"mmm" you puffed your cheeks before burying your face into his chest, cheeks flushed red. "H-hey!"

"You're too perfect. . ."

"I'll make sure to step up as your partner, leave the next date to me okay?" you said looking with with a smile, of course you had to step up and be the perfect partner for him to!

[ hsr masterlist ]

[fresne999]

Murderbot tv Episodes 7, 8, 9

And so I rejoice, for I have seen Murderbot episodes 7 (repeat), 8 and 9. Now all that lies before me is episode 10 (and hopefully a season 2).

I have so many thoughts. 

Most of which I verbally cracked like so much & many eggs immediately after with my watching cohort. Only fitting because that's what one needs to break to make a protein rich meal. But then again, that's not how the saying goes.

And yet, and yet, if a person understands what is meant, then maybe it is…

Throuple No More

Since I also rewatched episode 5 that morning, I approached the dissolution of the throuple through the lens of seeing Arada flirting with LeBeeBee on the shuttle ride back from DeltFall, before LeBeeBee started her whole penile ramble and Arada noped out. Saw the glances by Pin-Lee and Ratthi. The who and the what. 

Arada's little smile when Ratthis said he was falling in love with one of them. Pin-Lee's resigned stoicism. Arada goes first per usual, except neither she nor Pin-Lee had been reading the signals. At all. 

Humans (and constructs it would seem) can be like that.

I've seen a lot of conversations about the throuple needing to be there or not, which philosophically I say mileage may vary.

But the more I think the show, particularly given the episode's length, the more I feel that every aspect of the show is like a word in a John Steinbeck short story. It has to carry a lot of weight from a lot of different directions. 

They aren't there as comedic backdrop. Well, partly, because there's a lot of serious ideas goin on, but we learn about who Pin-Lee and Arada are in their interactions with Ratthi. We learn who Ratthi is as he tries very hard, too hard, to be a part of their dynamic, which he isn't. 

We learn things about what Preservation Alliance society is like both in the creation of the throuple and the dissolution of it. There is no shame in either. 

I do love this vision of a culture where none of these emotional entanglements are a death knell to relationship. People try things on. See what fits. What doesn't. Flow friendships into lovers and back again. The sweet and the bitter, and no harm done. Because they can apologize for discomfort and move on. They can talk about it. 

Because as Elizabeth Bennet once advised Mr. Darcy when speaking about what would make conversation smoother and piano playing better, they practice. 

Shrodinger's Ratthi 

I think about this alot as I read various, "tv Ratthi is not my Ratthi" meta. Because no. He isn't.  that Ratthi is singular, and the Murderbot Diaries are quite sparse on the ground in terms of characterization of non bot characters. 

I mean, book Ratthi definitely attempted to leave the hopper to retrieve some equipment right after there was a fairly violent attack on PresAux with some fairly serious injuries (and a SecUnit missing bits). Book Ratthi tried to talk to MB about its personhood so much that it let Mensah know on the feed. 

It's not that tv Ratthi is or is not book Ratthi. He is an interpretation of what the small details the books give us could be.

A person who interrupts a hostage negotiation to advocate for MB's personhood is a person who would have a breakup conversation in the middle of the whole GreyChris situation.

It wasn't the best time to have that conversation, and yet, if not then, when? 

Ratthi simultaneously tries too hard and is willing to lay his cards on the table. Not lie to emotion. Talk about this. Not even really pushing for any particular conclusion. Wanting to be open about his emotions and open conversations.

Supporting the idea of MB, it's coolness, the what if it, but hesitating when the moment came to push the button and trust MB's plan. 

The Stories We tell Ourselves

To expand on this, whether PresAux caught up in self righteousness or GreyChris in self absorbed greed, folks see what they expect to see. 

Unless -- pattern matching monkeys -- the MB quotes Sanctuary Moon one too many times. 

Then there's the objective reality of the viewers. 

Well, okay, no, I've been in fandom for a very long time, and have worked in the field of communication for almost as long. So I do know that we all see slightly different shows, read the same and yet different books. Our observations of a narrative are created with whatever we brought in our baggage from our journey so far. Whatever tools and dirty socks, and missing that umbrella (quote) we forgot along the way.  

Not to be Deconstructionist, which is somewhat like Bhardawaj acting like a medical doctor when her doctorate is in geochemistry, but it has been a philosophy that I learned about in college in thirty years ago and have made some bastardized version of it as I've gone through life as a professional documenter of ideas. 

We make associations with words and actions that are based on our life experience.

Hmmm…let me put it this way. Every time I see someone online refer to PrexAux as communists, I think to myself, "Communism is a political party, not a philosophy," before I catch myself. I am a child of the 70s and the word Communism or even communism means something different to me as a word than it might to the person writing the sentence, who possibly didn't grow up during the Cold War. It means something different to me as someone who has canvassed/phonebanked in very red areas during elections than to someone whose political experience is the last twenty years and mostly online. 

Words or structures don't have solid meaning with one interpretation. 

Perceived reality can be as shifting as Arada having always been the one who is attractive, attracts, goes first, coming to a reality check. She hasn't perceived that Ratthi is more interested in Pin-Lee because she didn't expect it. Any more than Pin-Lee expected to be the desired one. 

The tales the PresAux team told themselves about how successfully they defended MB and fought the GreyChris SecUnit juxtaposed with MBs rather incredulous replay of events.

MB's perception that it's small talk skills have improved, which, no sweetie, honey, no. It hasn't. Well, okay, it had its first conversation a day or so ago, so it has. So it has improved in that it has gone from the silence of the enslaved. 

And yet, and yet, it's not even really MB's small talk. 

It's parroting a medley of lines from Sanctuary Moon, which welp, GreyChris gets that famous serial, too. 

It's now just begun to grasp the reality that it can be the hero of its own narrative, without getting that means falling face first in gravel. 

Also, its quoting, not really writing its own narrative. Not yet. Not really. 

Beyond the Pale

To be beyond the pale is to be beyond the boundaries of acceptable behavior. This slightly antiquated phrase refers to the boundary fence of English controlled territory in Ireland during the period after the Black Death when Norman English control of Ireland contracted to just around Dublin. 

The pale is the perimeter, which MB keeps going to. Walking away towards to gain space. To genuinely see if there's a problem. To contemplate simply stopping, shutting down, and being consumed by the green of which it cannot truly be a part. 

But the historical signifier of the pale, the fence, the perimeter, is that it is also the fence of the colonizer seeking to take. To define what behavior is acceptable (see all those CorpRim folks in the restaurant looking at the rowdy Sweet-Bitter PresAux) and what is not. The pale defines control. 

The pale is the shadow of GreyChris and the Company of generic and nullified name, and the leash upon which MB -- no pet -- is yet on. 

MB has not yet sought to get beyond the boundary. To truly write its own story. 

All the damned logos

Even having read the books and being told the logos are everywhere, I was not prepared for the sheer amount of logos. Stamped on the chairs, the armor, the fabric. 

Go on survey, and the Company "personalizes" the material. But it's fast fashion. Because the Corporate Rim doesn't value the creation of items. All brought to you by the Company logo.

PresAux personalizes by embroidering and painting their clothing to create uniqueness. No personalization to be replicated even if done by the same person. Fabric crafts being unique like that. 

But that's not the only modification out there. 

GreyChris leader with her lip jewelry and her scar that is so damned evocative of the GreyChris logo.

Not an exact replica. Evocative.

As was the subject of much discussion and freeze framing after we watched episode 9, it's not a duplicate. And yet, and yet, humans are pattern matching monkeys. SecUnits too, if, presumably, their module isn't too crappy to do so. 

Watsonianly, was that scar a choice? A declaration of loyalty and badassery? Though, presumably someone in the GreyChris team were actually scientists who could do something with the alien remnants 

Dolylistically, did the show designers want me to look at this woman from a Corporate Rim where printing flesh and healing wounds is as simple as letting the MedUnit do its thing, and think about what that scar says about Corporate Rim society and her.

Por que no los dos?

So many elements of the show are so load bearing that it seems as if Tumblr's blue curtains mean something. 

Well they do. 

The story has left the hands of the creators and entered into fannish space where I (we) are/am free to deconstruct and construct meaning in what we're seeing.

So it is the logo if I say it is. It is not the logo is you say it is not. 

Why not both.

It's like saying Amour and Mort in French (the t is silent) and acknowledging they sound the same, but are not. 

Deconstructing the House While Standing In It

This isn't to Nihilistically say stories don't a meaning that the story teller is trying to tell. 

Or as MB, might say, "Whatever."

But whether or not Sanctuary Moon is premium quality or crappy is a matter of perception. The importance of Sanctuary Moon is what it means to MB. 

The importance of all those logos is how the Corporate Rim attempts to assume control on everything. Like cats or dogs spraying marks, but with pre-fab molding.

MB cannot lose all the logos, because (as I know having read the books) they are on its skeletal structure. 

But some step in the process of writing its own narrative will be to be to step beyond the pale. To stop using scripts.

Oh, how that word reminds me of reading "I'm Ok, You're Ok" in high school. Words can have many resonances. 

Infected with Love and Empathy

The NavUnit kills her lover. She kills everyone. Well, I for one choose to think this is a time loop episode, and Flight Captain Hossein will once more declare that boldness is all, but that's best saved for yuletide or a Sanctuary Moon Big Bang. 

Infected by love and love causes it to kill.

MB chooses to write the story of what's going on as it's been infected by empathy. Much as Gurathin learned what it was when people of good conscience could be to each other.

MB is a whole confused being and therefore shies away words like love. That word has an unpleasant resonance to it. 

Empathy. It feels empathy. It can care. While declaring loudly that it does not.  

Privacy matters

I'm inclined to think until moments before Gurathin says MB's private name, MB had no real sense of private.

Why would it? It's expected to watch (spy on) its clients. Listen to them in their most intimate moments -- as interesting to it as copulating worms -- and report. Have no privacy in its own mind, but that the Company can strip thought away.

To reiterate on something I've said before, privacy and security are different things. Security protects against risks. Mitigates vulnerability. Privacy is about what rights an entity does (or does not) have regarding their personally identifiable information. Privacy risks are around the harm that may come to an individual if the confidentiality of that private personal information is lost.

I'm very glad that the writers chose to parse the revelation of name and the murders from the scene where it occurs in the book where all the bombs fall at once. Hacked governor module. Dead miners. Murderbot. Hacked module - time to flee. 

This allowed this moment to have its own gravity. Have its own impact on MB. That truth it doesn't want to face. Admit. Believe. 

When memory can be implanted, rewritten, erased, how then to handle a memory that is the opposite of Boldness is All and that is the basis of itself.

And yet underlying it all, is the fear. That it is one step away from being a murderbot. It's seen all the shows. NavUnit went rogue and had its memory erased. So did MB. 

Or, well, perception is a funny thing. Season two, please. I want the emotional evisceration of it. 

Empathy

A rebellious bot, a free bot, is a murderous bot. A compliant bot obeys orders and stays in line. Or at least, so the colonizer, the enslaver, the Corporation Rim media would have it say. 

MB keeps walking away from PresAux. Further and further. Closer to that perimter, wherever it is.

It's not that I think Ratthi thinks MB is his pet, or even that Mensah thinks MB is her pet, but that Mensah is achingly aware that MB is owned. That it knows (don't you think it knows that) it is owned. That the little bit of freedom it has achieved is only in its own head.

Wanting to go after MB, and yet also, all she has the room for -- knowing that they won't survive without MB -- is grant it this grace of the perimeter, while turning to the next task. Who is GreyChris.

Mensah is trying so hard, three steps ahead of the others, to see with MB's eyes. She trusts. She lets go. She welcomes back. She goes to save and shakes her head at the quotations.

However, as good as she is, Mensah can't know what it is to be MB.

We all see through our eyes (even if patched into their very bodies), walk in our own shoes, itch in our own skin. 

The Who or the What

I'm going to link to a video with Derrida, the founder of the philosophy of Deconstructionism, talking about love because I think it relevant here. 

In it, he talks about how there is a tension in talking about love whether we mean loving the totality of a person (who) or characteristics of a person (what).

When it's characteristics (Ratthi finding various things MB says/does cool), then it's possible to find other characteristics less pleasant. To loudly trust MB, but also hesitate at pushing the button. 

It's part of the very interesting difference between book MB never wanting to murder anyone in front of Arada, and tv MB very much has. This means that when Bhardawaj and Arada join hands over Ratthi's to push the button, to let GreyChris in, let MB's plan unfold, they are trusting the who, not the what. 

That when Gurathin sees MB lying there in the gravel, he starts to break out of his what mindscape and into the who. Which is good, because the way he talked about Mensah in Sweet-Bitter scene seemed very much based on an ideal based out of the Art of Courtly Love and not based on who Mensah is in totality. Panic attacks and snapping her own fears about herself to Ratthi and going to save MB and all. 

Can't wait until episode 10 to see what she (and litigious Pin-Lee) so next. 

I mean I know. I've read the books.

But that's Shrodinger's knowing. I look forward to getting to open the box.

[i-nssomniia]

A big toy for a big man

Pairing: Joker/Hajun x reader

Tags: fluff, established rs

Note: you gave him a labubu. collab with my love @shintaru post!

@dzvelinaskebiyars @sylith @squib-fandoms @mscatheart @kuchisabishiiiii

at first, you just found it funny with this toy when you first saw it on the store display. seriously, it looks so funny and weird at the same time. but when you saw this huge version of the damn labubu, you realized that you need it. or rather, not you, but your man.

sudden purchases and impulsive spending, why not? just once for fun for Joker. you didn't even care about the crazy price tag on that big toy. you just wanted to see his reaction and maybe do something surprising for him? that's how you justified yourself as you stood at the checkout counter and paid for your purchase with that smile on your face.

and this message for him "I have a gift for you" he definitely won't expect something like this. You even prepared a wrapping bag and gift ribbon for this toy, so it was definitely a real gift for your big man.

so he's a little confused when you hand it to him, coming to his house right away when his brothers aren't there, "what's this?" Joker looks confused, carefully turning a large package with something unclear to him inside as you sit on the couch smiling, "a gift, I wrote to you"

his eyes dart between you and the package, his fingers probing, trying to figure out what might be inside as you patiently wait. He carefully sets the package on the floor and sits down, carefully untangling the colorful ribbon. His breathing is slightly erratic, like a child receiving their first Christmas gift under the tree. Joker's fingers slowly unwrap the package, lifting the toy by its head and examining its face.

"Do you like it?" You smile as you watch him, resting your head on the back of the couch, as he carefully examines the contents in his hands. This is not what he expected to receive, as Joker had considered all possible options, but this? "What is it?"

"It's a labubu" you shrug, saying it casually, as if you hadn't left more than 500$ at the checkout, although this wasn't a concern for you, "It's a trendy toy that's currently popular."

Joker frowns a little, looks at you, then back at the toy, feeling it with his big hands, tracing the edges of the toy, "it looks so strange." Oh, right, you'd forgotten that he doesn't really follow all these trends or "fashion," as you'd call it.

"Yes, it's funny" you chuckle softly, getting up to approach him and sit on the floor next to him, resting your head on his shoulder, "no, it's strange, not funny. do you see that smile? creepy. like it's going to eat me and my brothers— Why are you laughing?"

and Joker looks at you with those confused eyes when you laugh at him, poking at his shoulder, grabbing his hand. What's the reason for your laughter? What are his words? "I was serious" he says, holding the toy up to your face and shaking it slightly. "Look at this face, it's like something out of a horror movie about all these dolls"

he snorts softly, smiles when he teases you, seeing the amusement on your face, his heart still beating a little faster than it should when he thinks you made this silly gift for him, "is this a labiba?"

"labuba!" you repeat to him, watching as he covers his face with the toy, imitating a menacing voice, playing with you, leaning in towards you "I'm a labuba! and I'm going to eat you and your family, yum yum"

you giggle at his reaction, lowering the little monster in his hands to look at him, moving closer to him, leaving a soft kiss on the corner of his lips, "so you're saying you don't like her?"

Joker sighs briefly, shaking his head as he examines the toy, only to bury his face in the crook of your neck and mutter, "I like it, but don't give me anything like this again" you let out a chuckle, running your fingers through his hair and twisting the strands, "I just thought it would be fun, a big toy for a big man"

You can feel his smile against your skin, and you see him playing with the toy in his hands, leaving a moment of silence between you, either out of embarrassment or a soft expression of gratitude and appreciation.

In any case, you didn't tell him the price. Definitely not now. And you even bribed his brothers with pocket money and sweet treats to keep their mouths shut. You just hoped that he wouldn't find out about the price outside the house or from Wooin.

you wouldn't want to get those messages late at night, like "damn it, Wooin told me how much it cost, are you crazy?"

because otherwise, he'll forbid you from giving him gifts

damn labubu, I feel bad about them, we died so much when we laughed at it

MASTERLIST

[dramalove247]

Do my stubborn at first glance ! i love the plot on that one

We got this ask weeks ago, and when we first saw it, we had a good laugh. All we could think was are you enjoying the plot or the "plot"? We wondered a little if this was a serious ask or if someone was teasing us. But we decided we didn't care! Besides, as the weeks went on, this ridiculous series managed to get us wrapped around its little finger, so it has earned an "At A Glance".

At A Glance:

My Stubborn

Thailand - Romcom

Staring: Oat Pasakorn Sanrattana & Boat Yongyut Termtuo

Plot (yes, it has one): Brat meets brat tamer. Jun is a spoiled and well loved junior that usually gets along with everyone. But when in comes to Sorn, Jun gets stubborn. Sorn takes his job as a Hia seriously, including some unconventional lessons. But when Sorn disappears for two years, Jun is left with some unresolved feelings. Now, as a college intern, Jun finds himself under Sorn's mentorship once again and Sorn picks up where their lessons left off.

This show is 100% cheesy popcorn covered in jalapeños. If you are looking for a full meal, you will be disappointed. Just enjoy the show for the junk food it is... we did. This series felt a little like it had been a bet to see just how much screen time it could give to NC scenes. It didn't take itself serious for one second. We can't say this was a good quality story, but it was super fun and entertaining and we were here for every minute of it. Apparently we don't need much to enjoy a brat/brat tamer story. And like this show, we won't try to be something we are not. Sometimes you just want some junk food.

Ending: happily ever after

Tears: they tried to make it sad, and we had a feeling, but mostly we just wanted to see a certain someone suffer, so we were cheering for the pain

Main Couple: Queer

Side Couples: Queer (BL & GL) and felt like filler

Romance Scenes: 🌶️ Spice overload. Can't feel our faces. It really started with the opening scene... like pre-opening credits. Guess they had a lot of story to get to and needed to jump right in. Their strategy worked because we were hooked. Had to see where they were going after that.

Flavor of Scenes: definitely flavorful

Heads up: It was too hard not to make jokes. Sorry. You're on your own with this one.

Couple things we have to mention:

There were a confusing number of children for a Thai BL. It felt a little like bring your kid to work. I mean cute kids, but weird.

Shock and confusion seemed to be the mood in some NC scenes... which left us a little confused as well. But what eves. Like the characters in the show, we just rolled with it.

Some people are stupid and you will want to shake them.

The beard... enjoy. That was easily the best comedy of the year.

[zurk--flesh]

There is a very long winded and stupid rant ahead that will make me sound like a chronically online dumbass, but I desperately need to get this off my chest.

(Spoilers for the 7th comic and some lengthy bullshit ahead)

So, why does it piss me off whenever people refer to Zephaniah Mann as the Administrator’s ex husband?

I know people usually say it in a joking context, but it really rubs me the wrong way. Let me explain

The writers went out of their way to portray Zephaniah as a monster. Even though we never truly know what happened, we know that he effectively ruined Helen’s life. To the point where she dedicated her life to destroying him

By the time of Zephaniah’s death, he was no longer the man who killed her parents. He became the pit in Helen’s stomach, the hatred she felt towards others, and the life she never got to live. Helen had lost the one man she dedicated her life to destroying, along with her only reason to live.

Once Helen learned about the regenerative qualities of australium, she was able to bring Zephaniah back. Along with this was a promise of another chance, and more time to torture him

This torment became Helen’s reason to live. She kept expanding her operation, involving more innocent people and furthering her path of distruction all hoping that someday she might be happy, but it was never enough

So why the hell do people call Zephaniah Helen’s ex husband? Was it because she raised his children? No. She planned to smother them in their sleep, plus she raised them to be incompetent. Was it because she was his housemaid? No. A heartless man who only cares about himself and the women who hates his guts don’t fall in love just because they’re in a house together

Once again I know people usually say this in a joking context, but I genuinely feel like it comes from a place of misogyny. Like the idea that a man and a woman HAVE TO be in love despite the obvious reasons they have to hate each other just gives me an ick that I can’t describe

Helen hated this man. She killed him, and then raised him from the dead just so she can torment him. The idea that love or romance or even sex would be involved just feels incredibly gross to me. Plus it seems so unfair to Helen as a character because it completely diminishes so much of her motivations. Turning a story of loss, depression, and addiction into “crazy woman cant get over her ex 🤪” just feels so weird and takes away from the actual message of the story

Also he fucking killed her parents lol

Alright yap sesh over. I know its not that serious and ofc y’all are allowed to have whatever headcannons you please, I just knew that I would only be able to stop thinking about it once I said something

[deoidesign]

It's my right to tell myself I can do just a little animation just for fun just for really quick to do some action and then spend 3 days straight on it

[taigarrryen]

You know these tropes in stories where if you lose your soulmate you're left forever yearning for something just out of your reach, forever searching for something you can never find? That's me, JRWI Riptide is my soulmate. Send post

[dxxtruction]

Louis' "You're boring!" Could mean so many things, but I think what's most apparent about that line is that Armand takes no initiative just for himself. He's not really anybody, because he never goes out and finds himself or gets attached to anyone but Louis. Without Louis as his guide he's literally just sitting on a couch picking lint! That's the thing.

He orbits constantly around what would make Louis happy, and never really fully going what would make me happy? Ultimately that drive to please Louis is what drives him to torturing Daniel, not so much that he'd care to just do it. Ultimately, not giving proper care to Louis is just a way to make sure Louis knows he has to orbit around him as well, with shoving Lestat onto him just that other nail on the coffin. So, even if he fails to figure out how to make Louis happy with him, he still knows what Armand is good for, and better than.

That dependency is what drives Armand's abuse. It really just comes down to that. Armand doesn't even realize how suffocated he is by his own dependency. This is just how life is to him. (It shouldn't be lost either that dependency is a theme considering this episode also deals with addiction).

Daniel's fascinating because he's just so driven to be somebody. He's largely independent, he seeks things because he wants them. It's his drug to poke and prod at all the things that he shouldn't. Daniel's exciting because he lets Louis in to something different, lets him in to all this potential in another person that he can also do the same with for himself. It's a real connection. A two way street. It's easy to tell how Armand can be smothering then because he's never introducing him to anything really new, and most the ways both of them connect are all painful and traumatic. It's never just fun because there's always that layer of that pain. Fun died with Claudia.

50 years on they've gotten to a lot better place, both of them, but it's still that same shit. No seriously, "How is this any different from last time, Louis?"

Well... Because Armand's going to be, at the very least, making one [1] decision only for himself - and that's to hold power over Daniel's life. Fucking sick foreshadowing.

They aren't driving each other to the brink anymore but "The vampire is bored" STILL. Maybe it's even worse, despite being in better places, because Louis' sort of just been defeated by it. (I mean, can he even really leave this either?). He's accepting the dependancy cause he kind of has to. He'd literally ended up letting all the enjoyment be up where he can't reach [The book shelves]. Armand so desperately wants Louis happiness but what really ends up happening is that Louis ends up having to give Armand all his own. He's got no one or anything else to get it from. But like an iPad and an over the top eating ritual. Two extremes of what's just more lint picking.

This whole relationship is one I find just tragic inside and out. You have to just pity it, really. There's ways in which you can find yourself feeling bad for both of them. But you can only really be mad at Armand for any of it. Armand, who isn't even 'free' in any sense, having so little concept of his own independence, but is at the same time so controlling over other's. It's a tragic cycle. It's an infuriating one.

Louis at least has the mind to know when enough is enough. If just needing that extra push to get there. Armand's too scared of it being over to even try.

[secriden]

I always love your posts about THK and your recently pinned post and another one about Style yearning for skinship are just *chef's kiss*. So thank you for your analysis!

I saw some comments on tumblr that Style was acting as if he's sad and playing Fadel and I just could NOT agree, so I was glad to see your post. My opinion on Style's crying scene is I don't think Style meant to cry at first, but his emotions sort of overwhelmed him while he was talking. I think he definitely uses his cheerful disassocation with reality to deal with fear and he was just going to tell his message to his dad just in case, perhaps in a more lighthearted way, but he remembered about his mom and the reality of potential death hit him fully because his mother's death must be the closest death he'd experienced in his life. And when Fadel asked him if he was crying he just said Duh and wasn't fully crying, but after Fadel told him to stop the sob story, he turned back and the tears really started flowing. When I saw that I could really relate to him because that's how I usually act too- act nonchalant to hide my real feelings. Style wasn't planning to get emotional and then got mocked for it - and he was also denied his s*xual advances/skinship earlier too- that must've felt really hurtful to him.

As much as the scene hurts, I'm glad to see this was not cut because even cheerful, positive people like Style really gets down sometimes and people don't really understand this, even in real life! I was kind of like this when younger and had some people tell me they can't imagine me feeling sad or nervous. So seeing Style's rare serious and emotional side in the story is really made me kind of acknowledged? When I started watching this show, I didn't think I would get this attached to this character. He's like a ray of sunshine, very pure in his beliefs and quite fiercely loyal too (might be weird to say when he was complicit but he is actually loyal to both Kant and Fadel to the best of his ablities IMO) and the actor/Dunk is absolutely killing this role! Not just the crying scene in this episode, but Dunk's comedic timing in delivering the one liners is SO GOOD he manages to make me laugh every single episode so far.

Lovely anon, oh thank you for sharing so vulnerably about how you related to Style in that scene. I really agree with you that Style wasn't putting on an act to fool Fadel. I'm very surprised to hear that anyone still thinks Style is playing Fadel at this point?? O_O I don't think anything he does this episode is an act anymore -- even when he propositions Fadel with a shirt tossed into his face, there's clear and genuine intent behind it:

There's so much going on in this look. The gentle fondness as he gazes back at Fadel, the way the look seeks to communicate affection even as Fadel is glaring back in anger and frustration. But there's acceptance too, like he understands why Fadel is keeping his walls up, he understands why Fadel feels he deserves some of this harshness and he will let Fadel take the time he needs to come to whatever conclusions he wants to as long as Fadel does so with the understanding that Style's love for him is genuine.

Because at the end of the day the only thing Style really doesn't want is for Fadel to make his choice (to forgive or to cut Style off) thinking that Style's feelings are still a lie. I think that's the crux of the problem between them now: Fadel is pushing Style away because he is certain Style’s feelings aren’t true, and have never been true, but Style knows his own heart and understands the fundamental shift inside him that occurred over the course of their relationship.

Which is why I think Style is genuine in everything he’s showing Fadel now. Even if he didn’t mean to cry, I think his worry for his dad is very real. And I think the reason why he brings it up with Fadel is that Style is done hiding anything from him now. It’s not about manipulation, nor is it an attempt to make Fadel feel guilty. But he's taking everything Fadel is giving to him incredibly seriously and part of that is facing the possibility that Fadel may decide to kill him at the end after all. And that's... scary; hell its terrifying and heartbreaking and Style has understandable guilt related to how losing him after losing his mother is going to affect his dad.

And actually what you're saying about "cheerful and positive people like Style" also sometimes feeling down is such an important aspect of understanding Style's character. Because we can only really understand the weight of Style’s love for Fadel if we see him in all his multifaceted complexity: Style has suffered, Style understands the pain of loss but has learned to find joy in his life in the process of dealing with his mother’s passing. Styles cheerfulness and positively is not a sign of his immaturity or lack of complexity but rather evidence of a inner strength and determination to find meaning in life beyond the sadness. After my dad passed, it took me nearly 4 years to even get to a point where I began to want to want to find pockets of happiness. There was so much about me at the time time bound up in my feelings of loss and sadness and the ache of missing my dad, the unfairness of it all. Style is-- Style is so very precious to me.

And something I found really poignant is how Fadel and Style have such opposing methods of dealing with grief and fear. Fadel hides from it, runs from it, builds up walls and remains ever vigilante so he'll never be vulnerable again, while Style faces his grief and his fear head on. Style takes his fear out and holds it in the palm of his hand and in the process - like you said - maybe found himself more overwhelmed then he expected, but he allows himself the space to cry because he also sees that its important in the moment. And he invites Fadel into that vulnerability with him. That's insane to me -- Style's love for Fadel means that even when Fadel has a gun to his head and is the source of his fear, Fadel is always orientated on the INSIDE to Style.

To extend the allegory, the difference between them is that Fadel's love made him invite Style inside his walls as an outsider, but Style's love makes Fadel already part of him. Fadel doesn't need an invitation because at no point in episode 8 did Style ever treat Fadel as anything but an extension of his own heart.

So yeah, I'm so with you about being grateful for the scene. I think it maybe could have been shot differently (for instance, I kind of wish they'd just let Dunk do his thing and sell the moment without having that background music 180 degree shift), but I adore it for what it shows us about Style and the way he thinks and feels, and most of all the way Fadel is oriented in his heart.

[yuukei-yikes]

dude i'm sorry for all the kanoshin posting but like the way shintaro immediately forgives kano for telling him as ayano how it was all his fault. what shintaro went through was so awful he lost all his friends and his Best friend committed suicide after apparently saying "it's YOUR fault for never noticing" like that shit does irreparable damage to ur well being bro. for all this time shintaro thought it was HIS FAULT that ayano killed herself

and when kano admits it was him who said that shintaro doesn't isolate it from everything else kano was going through at that moment, so he doesn't hold it against him and he forgives him so easily. and that bit is from shintaro's pov so when we switch back to kano and he's so guilty and sort of in disbelief shintaro doesn't hate him. sorry that entire part with kano's pov in the seventh novel reads SO extremely romantic towards shintaro it's crazy. maybe i'm just gay but "he used to smile at my sister in a different way than he'd smile for everyone else. now he's smiling at me just like that" girl. EXCUSE ME. i didnt even care about kanoshin when i first read the seventh novel btw and i was still like oh so kano's into him. got it.

like shintaro's the victim to probably the most cruel thing kano's ever done to someone and he FORGIVES HIM so for kano who hates himself it's like. something something he sees me at my worst and still has the nerve to be kind to me. something something.

and in between all that there's kido and mary like god shintaro ur so lameeee, and kano in his mind is like i think he's cool actually.... im not saying it out loud though. he's down so bad for him it's so funny because it switches from all those convoluted guilty feelings to kano sort of twiling his hair like omg he's so heroic. and it's kind of endearing

kano's crush on shintaro is infuriatingly well written it's crazy. and it's even crazier that it's by accident and then u read the stuff not written directly by jin like the anthologies and the manga and instead they go for the weird incest shit, it's so jarring lol. and i'm not saying jin intended for it to be romantic. in fact it seems to me at least like jin thinks haruka and shintaro are the gayest ones?? just from how he jokes around and stuff. but it's funny how he wrote all that for kano but NOOOO kano's like such a flirt with women he's totally a lady's man. what's REALLY gay is haruka and shintaro crying in front of each other. can u imagine, boys... crying and being vulnerable with each other... hahhh so gay!!! girl maybe but RIGHT before that u wrote haruka going on about how he realizes he's into takane romantically precisely because HE'S NOT into shintaro romantically. like it is very much a point he makes. sorry that was a side tangent. anyways.

[br1ghtestlight]

*thinking to myself* bobs burgers is like the simpsons if it was earnest and also if it was good.....

[cookies-after-dark]

Hey want some hurt to comfort stuff I got based off the idea of black sapphire thinking of ruining y/n's life in that one post? Well had an idea:

Imagine if y/n was already depressed before meeting them...and already isolated, alone, bad thoughts...no rumors spread about them and stuff but just say y/n doesn't like looking themselves in the mirror...cue shadow milk one day plucking them up and black sapphire meets them too and notices how y/n is already broken...wonder how black sapphire would react to that lol...a depressed reader lol!

Uh well. I will be honest with you anon, depression has a very heavy connotation to it and this is mostly an unserious porn blog; any heavy topics I talk about (toxic relationships, unhealthy dynamics, everything about yandere) is done in a sexual manner. I'm willing to write about fluff and comfort but I don't think this is the place to talk about straight up depression (at least I'M not really comfortable writing about mental disorders/mental illnesses on a porn sideblog).

Sorry about that, just my personal boundary.

[gaminegay]

talking bout drugs

I hate sounding like the teenager your mom warned you about bc i am SO not immune to addiction (and I am trying to be super duper careful at least now I am) but it makes sense doesn't it.

I did drug, my brain got 1 (one!!) night where there wasn't a chemical cocktail of sadness and fear being pumped into it every single minute (and actually fun and pleasant and relaxed chemicals instead), and now a week later I just kinda feel lighter and more relaxed. I'm not fixed and this is very temporary, but at least for a little while I remember a really good night where I had no worries or pains and everything felt good and looked really good. I felt good about my body and I could talk myself up without the reflexive self-diminishing shame that follows the admittance that sometimes you're a cool person!! And doing good makes you feel good! And I got more physically close with my friend than ive been with almost any other person (besides my ex) and it changes nothing in our relationship so im never worried. I actually kinda feel like that's what human relationships should be like, if religion and misogyny hadn't ruined the concept of the human body.

I don't remember the last time I got a break from myself like that for more than like, a few good minutes, since before The Great Depression. And like they're considering a lot of these drugs as therapy for depression and PTSD and anxiety and all that, and I can see it! just reminding the brain that it's POSSIBLE to operate differently is huge.

And there's not even a hangover. As long as you have 4 gatorades around.

[aggressiveguitarnoises]

how to celebrate ur birthday or other holidays alone as a choice without making everyone concerned and offended