#and on the day that she said it was her bday we all brought her gifts and cards and she was so happy and she had her moment like she was

[bloomingsalma]

i think one of the most disappointing things is to see that your childhood friends have grown up to represent the kind of people you're disappointed in

[scribblesofagoonerr]

So, history is just repeating itself then?

This one got more votes so here's the next post, I'm still sick and I just feel miserable now but here we go ✌🏼

Bday balloon cele day to me 🎈

⟫ part 1 | part 2

You knew the minute that it happened that it was over, it was well and truly over. The dream of the olympics had come crushing down.

Minutes after it happened and the whole stadium is at a complete standstill and the loud noise of the fans was now completely silent. Meanwhile, your team mates all looked at you with sombre facial expressions while trying to be there for you in any way that they could.

"Y/N kiddo, are you alright?" Katies' usual teasing tone has disappeared and now it's full of concern.

"Y/N, you're gonna be alright" Caitlin chips in as she tries to take a hold of your head.

You can't help but flinch and pull your hand away as you writhe around in pain, "No, get off, it's my... it's my knee. Get off!" You try and swat at your team mates' hands around who are trying to offer their support, but you can't care a less for that now as the tears stream down your face, "It's... It's all over" Still continuing to cry in pain as the realisation sinks in.

"Let's give her some space, girls" Kims' authortive tone steps in and directs the girls away from crowding you, other than Beth and Viv who still remain by your side.

"It's gonna be okay kiddo" Beth holds your hand and tries to reassure you.

The medics are quick to rush onto the pitch as soon as they see what's happened, they all share a look and a stretcher is brought onto the pitch.

"It's better to get her inside so we can access the damage there" You're not sure whos' even speaking at this point, you are istaught with tears spilling down your cheeks and it's heartbreaking for all your teammates, coaches and even the fans to see it happen to somebody so young.

Your sure that the image of you being carried on the strecher with tears sreaming down your cheeks is going to do it's rounds on social media but in that moment, you really couldn't carealess about anything.

The olympics' dream in that moment was completely over.

You are non the wiser to the medical jargon that is being spilled from the medical teams' mouth that's surrounding you; You just sit crumpled up on the improv medic bed as they work to access your extent of your injury.

You only have one question that you keep thinking to yourself right now, like a constant loop in your head.

How could this happen to you?

A single step, it was just one wrong move and it left disasterous concequences.

It was all over in a matter of minutes, at least that's what you're thinking.

Nodody has even muttered the dreaded 3 letter word but your no fool to think it's anything but that.

"It's all over" Are the only words you can muster up the courage to say.

"Hey it's okay kiddo, it's gonna be okay. We've got you" Beth does her best to reassure you from where she's sat beside you, "Cry if you want too, let it all out. It's gonna be okay" she tells you.

Viv is right there beside you both as she holds your hand, "No matter what happens, we've got you, kleintje. You're so strong, you will get through this" she tells you gently.

Your quick to shake your head frantically in disagreement, "I can't... I can't do it. I can't be strong" You mumble, staring straight ahead at the stark white walls around you.

"You are, kiddo. I know you're scared but like what Viv said, we're going to be right here for you throughout it all, no matter what" The blonde keeps her words soft and gentle to try and keep more tears spilling down your cheeks.

"The olympics, it's over... It's all over" You mumble quietly; you feel numb to everything going on around you now, "My dream to go to the olympics is over now" You repeat in barely a whisper as the realisation sinks in.

"You don't know that just yet kleintje, we have to wait until the scans come first to confirm what injury it is" Viv says as she smiles at you weakily as she does her best to not worry you but it's no use when it's all you can think about.

Beth and Viv both take a minute to look at the medics' team that are working on you for any sort of words right now some kind of explanation and although no words are spoken, the medics' are sure enough to understand the look as they soon begin to speak.

"There's no official confirmation yet until we get the scans to see the extent of the damage" One of the medics, possibly Rose begins to speak as you shift your head to look at her almost pleadingly.

"Please don't say it, please don't say it" You whimper quietly, you're not ready to hear anybody speak it aloud yet.

Rose gives you a sympathetic look before she continues to talk, "However, based on what we can tell, it does very much look like you've ruptured your anterior cruciate ligament" The moment them words are spoken and it's like your world has come crashing down around you.

So you do the only thing that you know how to do, which is cry.

You completely pour out your emotions right there in that very moment, not even caring how ugly your face may look right now.

None of this is fair in your opinion.

What'd you do so wrong to suffer something like this?

9 months being sidelined; Your dreams of the Olympics were completely crushed.

"Just remember, we're here for you" Beths' words cut like a knife as you swallow the harsh lump in the back of your throat.

You've never handled emotions well and right in this moment, you feel like you're draining under water with nobody to pull you up from it.

You really don't know what to do or even how to feel, so you do the one thing that you do know.

Push people away, its' the easier thing to do. You're practically a pro at it now.

With an injured knee, it hurts to move but you bite back the pain and turn your back to the 2 girls; You know it seems horrible to do that, but you just don't know how to handle it all right now.

"Where is she-- What happened?" Laura come bursting into the medical room as her eyes land on you as they soften, "Y/N/N, it's gonna be okay" she is another one to reassure you.

This time you can't help but scoff at the older girls words, "Is it? That's all I keep on hearing-- I've ruined my chance to play football, no more olympics... I've lost the dream" You can't help how venemous the words sound spilling from your mouth but it's the harsh reality of what is happening right now.

Sometimes feelings are hard to handle and being only young, you're about to take on a challenge that you're not even sure that you can handle.

"Y/N" Beth gasps in shock at the cold and harsh words that spill from your mouth.

You turn to look at the blonde with a somewhat blank expression, "What?" You question, carelessly that makes the older girl frown.

"Hey, I know you're upset but there's no need to be mean to Laura like that" Beth lightly scolds you, she knows that you're upset about this but that still doesn't make it okay to talk to anybody like you did.

"Why not? I'm so sick of everything saying and thinking that it'll be fine, when it's not gonna be!" You exclaim, its' the first time you've raised your voice to them in anger and although you regret it instantly, your current pent up anger takes over any upset feelings right now.

"Y/N" Viv looks at you with the same unimpressed expression that Beth does.

The dutch women goes to further speak but you're quick to interject.

"Can you all just go? Just leave me alone" You try to fight back the tears that are threatening to spill all over again, "I just... I just want to be alone" You repeat.

"Y/N--" Laura starts to speak.

"Please?" The pleading in your voice is something you ditest, it makes you sound weak and that's something you hate to show; Weakness.

If there's one thing you remember from your deadbeat father, it was that showing weakness makes you a coward, and you wasn't one of them.

"I just need to be alone right now, so just go" You feel horrible to demand for them to leave, you need them but you're just stubborn to admit it.

"Alright, alright. We will leave you to be alone and have some time to think kleintje" Viv squeezes your injured knee and smiles gently before she stands up from the chair she currently sat in, "Come on, lets' give Y/N some space" she tells them.

"Okay" Laura begrudingly agrees and nods, "See you in a bit, Y/N/N" she adds before she starts to head out the room.

"Come on Beth" Viv nudges her girlfriend.

Beth looks more hesistant to leave but knows it's probably better to do than have you blow up again, "O... Okay sure; We're right here for you when you need us, kiddo. Remember that, okay?" Reassuring you with a matching smile, she stands up from her chair and the two women head out the medic room.

You didn't bother to mutter any kind of response. You didn't even mean to block any of them out, they were your makeshift family and you know that they care about you so much; Each and every single one of them, but no matter how surrounded with love you are, you feel more alone than ever.

You didn't want to hear words of encourgament or reassure; You just want to be alone in your thoughts.

You were better to be left alone in your thoughts.

© scribblesofagoonerr

[callsign-dexter]

Love At First Sight... Again 18+

Request: Hello darling ! I hope you're accepting Kelly requests and I also hope that you're still considering doing bday imagines 🙈 mine is this Wednesday and I hoooooped for a little present l, but if not, it's more than okay !

It would be an idea where the reader was with Kelly at high school but he was like the girl crush out of your league and she was a nobody minding her own business. Both had crushes on each other but in the end never talked with each other and after school time, both went their separate ways. Just until she maybe moves back to Chicago and gets in a little car crash (nothing bad, just some scratches) and Squad 3 shows up. Kelly first didn't recognize her, but when he does, he's totally taken aback by her and jeez you can be cheesy and call it love at first sight again 😁 so he makes sure that she's okay and nothing hurts too bad. And as he's being that close to her, she recognizes him too eventually and her heart skips a beat. Kelly then makes the step to ask her on a date and she agrees. But maaaaybe she can't wait till the date and shows up the next day at the station bringing over a thank you to all the guys, but secretly she just wants to see Kelly.. After shift then he comes to her apartment, wanting to thank her for the presents. But one thing leads to another and they end up spending a passionate night together and Kelly holds her close then, realizing she's all his heart ever wanted and he wants her to be with him forever?

Omg it's too cheesy right ? And I'm sorry it's too long 😂

Pairings: Kelly Severide x Dawson!Reader

Warnings: smut, angst, fluff, cursing

Masterlist

A/N: Happy belated birthday annon!

A/N 2: @talesofreading and @imagine-all-the-fandoms prepare yourselves

Chicago, Illinois your hometown and the town you grew up in, fell in love, had your heart broken, and moved away from. You had many boyfriends but none of them could ever live up to the one and only Kelly Severide and he could say the same thing about you. You are a Dawson, the youngest of the Dawson siblings. Antonio Dawson and Gabriela Dawson were your brother and sister and you all loved each other dearly. 

You just had brought a box full of miscellaneous stuff and you got to thinking about the last time you were here. You moved away from Chicago due to going to medical school away from Chicago and that meant you were moving away from Kelly, your longtime crush. Yours and Kelly’s crushes go away back, back to Freshman year of high school. You could remember the first time you saw him. You were practicing with your softball team and he with his baseball team. Your eyes met it and it was instant love at first sight. He was out of your league and you were a nobody. 

*************

Classes had just ended and you were at your truck grabbing your gear out of the back when you felt like someone was staring at you and you looked up and was met with the most beautiful blue eyes you had ever seen. Your world seemed to have stopped and you immediately fell in love with him and his world stopped and he fell in love. A smile came to your face and you waved at him and he smirked and nodded his head at you. You immediately blushed and looked down and continued to grab your stuff. “So, you and Severide, huh?” She asked. 

“What? I don’t know what you’re talking about. We were just talking.” You said as you started to put your gear down and went over to start stretching. You weren’t the most popular despite being on the softball team, you liked to be in the background and keep your head down. You liked to keep out of the way and help when you needed to. Kelly Severide was so out of your league and so you never stood a chance, or so you thought but you would never act on it.

“Those heart eyes and that smile says otherwise.” She said, smirking.

“Oh hush.” You said and she smirked but didn’t say anything as you stretched and you looked over to the other field and saw Kelly looking over at you and you smiled which made him smile and wave. You blushed and looked down.

Throughout the school year the two of you never talked but stole glances every now and then. He would give you this wink and smirk and you were blushing like mad. As senior year came to an end, neither of you had talked to each other but you both quickly became each other’s crushes but never did anything about it and wouldn’t do anything about it.

When graduation came you, both graduated with honors and were going to college for sports scholarships. You both had worked the courage to talk to each other but then you both were being whisked away. You two never spoke to each other or saw each other again which made both of you sad but life has mysterious ways to bring people back together.

*************

“That should be the last of it.” Antonio said as he brought up the last heavy box which happened to be books along with Gabriela who had pots and pans. 

“Thank you. You’re a lifesaver, both of you. You can put the books by the couch and the pots and pans in the kitchen.” You said and he did as he was told. 

“Anything for our youngest sister.” Gabriela said and you rolled your eyes but smiled.

“Really though we're happy to have you back here. We missed you.” Antonio said

“I missed you both so much. It was so hard to be away from you and well, Chicago. But I graduated med school at The University of California San Francisco, did my residency there and back now starting my new job as a doctor at Med and am ready to take on the hustle and bustle of Chicago Med.” You said and they smiled.

“You're going to be a kick ass doctor.” Gabriela said

“Aww thank you sis. You're a kick ass paramedic.” You said 

“Hey, what about me?” Antonio asked fake pouting and faking hurt. 

“Eh, you're decent for a detective.” You said and that made your sister laugh. 

“Hey!” He said and you laughed harder.

“Kidding! You're a kickass detective.” You said and Gabriela nodded.

“I like that answer better. But in all seriousness, you're going to a kick ass doctor.” He said and you smiled.

“Thanks ‘Tonio. I would offer food but I literally have nothing. Order in?” You questioned

“Sounds like a perfect plan. We can help you unpack and get settled in.” Gabriela said and Antonio nodded.

“Is that Thai place still open by the med?” You asked and they both nodded.

“It is.” Antonio replied “Want your usual?” He asked, getting his phone out and you nodded.

“Please. I'll pay.” You said, going to grab your card.

“Not a chance little sis. My card is already in. I order from there all the time.” He said and you groaned but knew you weren't going to win. 

“Fine.” You said

“Good order is placed. Should be here in 20.” He said and you nodded.

“I practically lived on Thai food at college.” You said and they chuckled.

“That doesn't surprise us.” Gabriela said as she started to open the book box and started to put them on the shelf by the TV. It consisted of med books, notebooks with notes, and regular books. The three of you talked, unpacked, and broke boxes down while you all waited for food. When it did come Antonio was quick to get to the door before you could even get up. He brought the food over into the living room and you all sat around eating and talking. After you all had their fill, you got back to work you and Gabriela worked in the kitchen while Antonia got the TV hooked up. By the time everything got unpacked or mostly unpacked it was late and they were saying their goodbyes.

“Hey, we should meet up after you get done at Med.” Antonio said 

“I would love that.” You said

“Good it settled. You meet us at our place. We always meet up. I have tomorrow off and Antonio can meet us on his lunch break.” Gabriela said 

“I like the sound of that.” You said and they both smiled.

“Good! We better get going so you can settle in and we’ll see you tomorrow.” Antonio said coming over to hug you and Gabriela followed suit. 

“We love you.” She said 

“I love you both too.” You said and then they were out the door leaving you alone in your almost furnished apartment. You decided to unpack more and then head to bed which was set up by the three of you. You got ready for the bed and laid down ready for tomorrow.

*************

The next morning you got up bright early and started to get ready for your first day at med. You took a shower and put on your scrubs and looked in the mirror. Your hair was down and wet but otherwise you looked good. Your name was on the scrubs and you added your ID onto them and everything was complete you were ready. Hair was now dried so you pulled your naturally wavy hair up into a ponytail and walked out of the bathroom and out into the living room where you pulled on your shoes then put on your jacket and grabbed your purse and keys and walked out the door. You locked the door and headed to the elevator. You pressed the button and it opened. You got in and pressed the button and went down to the lobby. When you got there, you walked out and out the door to your car. You got in and made the short trip to Med. You got there and parked and walked into the ED where you were met with a nurse. “Hi, I’m Maggie Lockwood, head nurse of ED. You must be the new doctor.” She said and you smiled.

“I am. I’m Y/N Dawson.” You said

“As in Antonio and Gabriela Dawson?” She asked and you smiled and nodded.

“I’m the youngest.” You said and then just then Sharon Goodwin made her appearance.

“I see you met our new doctor. I’m Sharon Goodwin and I will take it from here.” She said and you smiled and Maggie nodded and walked away. She waved you over and you began your journey with your boss. She went through everything. “Will!” She said when a redheaded man came into view and he looked up and smiled.

“Yes?” He asked

“I would like you to introduce you to the new doctor. This is Y/N Dawson.” She said and you smiled at him.

“Dawson? As in Antonio and Gabriela Dawson?” He asked and you nodded.

“Yes, that would be correct.” You said

“My brother works with your brother. I’m Will Halstead.” He said and stuck out his hand and you shook it. 

“It’s nice to meet you.” He said and then his pager went off.

“I gotta go. If you need me, I’ll be here in ED.” He said and you smiled and then he was off and so you two were off. You continued the tour until you got to the cafeteria and Goodwin walked you over to a table with some other doctors they looked up.

“Everyone this is Y/N Dawson. She’s the new doctor. Y/N this is Connor Rhodes, Natalie Manning, Ava Bekker, and Crockett Marcel.” She said and they said their greetings. 

“It’s nice to meet you all and before anyone asks, yes I’m related to Gabriela and Antonio Dawson.” You said and everyone chuckled. You all chatted for a little bit more before she was whisking you off to someplace new. Then you ran into someone else.

“Daniel, this is Y/N Dawson. Y/N this is Dr. Daniel Charles, he's the psychologist around here.” She said and you smiled.

“Nice to meet you.” You said 

“I’ve heard so much about you and I'm excited to be working with you.” He said and you smiled and then he was being pulled away. After seeing everything and getting to know the new palace your shift was finally over and you were heading out of Med. 

“Hey, Y/N wait up!” A voice said and you turned around and saw Natalie and Ava running after you and you stopped and smiled.

“Hey. What’s up?” You asked

“We were just wondering if you wanted to hang out sometime.” Ava said and you smiled and nodded.

“I would love that.” You said and then they were pulling out their phones and so were you and you all were exchanging numbers. “I have to meet my brother and sister for some sibling time but I’ll let you know when we can meet up.” You said and they smiled.

“Sounds perfect.” Natalie said

“Wanna walk to the parking lot together?” Ava asked and you smiled and nodded.

“I would like that.” You said and so you did and it was filled with laughter and small talk about talking about your school. You three got to your cars and then said goodbye and you were headed off. The place the three of you always met up was at the end of town so you had a drive. You listened to music and your phone rang and you answered it through Bluetooth. It was your siblings.

“Hello you two.” You said

“Hi.” Gabriela said

“Hi, Sis.” Antonio said

“What do I owe the pleasure of the three-way call?” You asked

“We wanted to know where you were.” Gabriela said “Both of us are here.” She said

“I got held up by some coworkers.” You said chuckling.

“Aww, our baby sister is making friends.” Antonio said 

“Oh, shut up.” You said as you noticed a car too close and your eyebrows forwarded but shook it off. You stopped at a stoplight but the other car did not and they crashed into you and your siblings must’ve heard it. “Oof.” You said and you know they heard that.

“What the hell was that?” Gabriela asked

“It’s nothing, I just got rear ended.” You said 

“What?!” They both asked at the same time.

“Seriously it’s nothing.” You said about that time another car hit that car and pushed you into the intersection.

“We’re on our way.” They said and hung up.

You sat there and sighed ‘What a great first day.’ you thought and sat there as you heard sirens. You sighed but you did a quick self-assessment and everything felt fine and nothing was broken. “Fuck.” You said. The car beside you was suddenly moved and the door was being cut open and a form was bending down by your side.

“Ma’am, can you hear me?” A voice asked you.

“Yea, I can hear you.” You said and turned to look up at the voice.

“Y/N?” He asked and you furrowed your eyes.

“Kelly?” You asked now, taking in his form and you could’ve sworn your heart skipped a beat.

“Wow you’re just as beautiful as the first time I laid eyes on you.” He said and you blushed like mad.

“I could say the same thing.” You said and he smiled.

“Are you hurt?” He asked, feeling around and you shook your head.

“No. Maybe some whiplash and some scratches from the seatbelt but I have feeling in my toes and I wasn’t hit hard so I wouldn’t have spinal damage.” You said

“Wow you know your stuff.” He said 

You chuckled “Yea, I’m a doctor now at Med.” You said 

“That’s great.” He said as he made his assessment. “Are you comfortable getting out and walking over to the ambulance?” He asked and you nodded and with his help got out of the car. Just then your siblings came into view.

“Y/N!” Antonio said and came rushing forward.

“How is she, Kelly?” Gabriela asked 

“She’s good. She has some scratches and maybe whiplash but nothing too serious.” Kelly said and the grilling began by your siblings and you answered them and then they were being pulled away by other people. Kelly continued to check you over “It’s been awhile.” He said and you smiled.

“Yea, it has. So, what happened after high school?” You asked 

“Went to college on a scholarship. Then the fire academy and worked at 51 for a few years and then got onto Squad 3. You?” He asked

“Went to The University of California San Francisco for medical school on a scholarship for softball, did my residency there and then moved back when I got the job at Med.” You said and he smiled.

“Say what do you think about going out with me Saturday?” He asked

“I would love that. I work tomorrow morning until 5 PM but should be free after that.” You said and he nodded and smiled and then he was pulling out his phone and handing it to you and you put your number in and texted yourself. “Am I free to go?” You asked and he smiled and nodded.

“You are.” He said and you chuckled and then Antonio came over.

“All good, Kelly?” He asked

“Yup, all good.” He said and smiled at you and he was helping you off the back of the ambulance. 

“Is my truck ok to drive?” You asked and Antonio chuckled and nodded.

“All good, Sis. We’ll meet another day.” He said and you smiled and nodded. “Oh, the police have sorted everything out.” He said as he walked you to your truck. You got in and started it up with ease he nodded and said his goodbye and you looked up and met Kelly’s eyes and he smiled and so did you then you were driving off.

When you got home you parked and got out of the truck and sighed looking at the damage and took a picture and sent it to Natalie and Ava.

What a way to start my first day.

Natalie: Holy shit! Are you ok?

I’m good.

Ava: What happened?

Someone rear ended me and then another car rear ended them and pushed my truck into the intersection. I’m good, just some scratches from the seatbelt and maybe whiplash but nothing serious.

Natalie: Damn girl

Ava: Get some rest!

Will do girls.

Then you put your phone on the charger on the counter and went and changed into comfortable clothing and settled onto the couch with your bottle of water and turned on your favorite show and got some rest. Kelly kept coming to your mind and you wanted to do something and take it to them before work so you got up and went into the kitchen and got your baking stuff out and started to make homemade cookies. You finished in about 30 minutes and it was 10 PM. You got some containers out and left the cookies on the rack to cool. You turned off the TV and headed into your room and got ready for bed.

*************

The next morning you got up when your alarm went off and you were a little stiff but nothing too worrisome. You got ready for work finding your routine easily and then headed into the kitchen and put the cookies in the containers and you started out of your apartment and to the elevator for the short ride to the lobby and then out to your now beaten-up truck. You opened the door and put everything in the passenger side and got in and started towards 51. 

When you got there, you parked and got out making sure to grab the cookies and shut the door. You walked into the bay and was met by a blonde man who noticed you immediately “Hey, I’m Matt Casey can I help you?” He asked.

“Hi, I’m Y/N Dawson and yes, I’m Gabriela’s and Antonio’s sister. I brought some homemade cookies as a thank you for helping me yesterday.” You said and showed him the container.

“Thank you so much. Also, you're welcome.” He said you were secretly hoping to see Kelly. Just then more people came out. 

“I heard cookies.” A voice said and you recognized it as Kelly and you smiled.

“You heard right. Wanted to say thank you and thought some cookies would be nice.” You said and he smiled at you and everyone was introduced to you. The container was opened and everyone took one.

“Holy shit these are good!” Stella Kidd said and you smiled.

“Thank you. Old family recipe.” You said and then you looked at the time “Well I gotta go but thank you again.” You said and Kelly smiled.

“That’s our job.” He said and you smiled and blushed “Hey I’ll walk you out.” He said and you nodded. It was a quick walk but it was filled with smiles and small talk. You told him your address for Saturday and then he was opening the door and you were getting in and then you were driving off and he watched you. You got to Med and parked and then got out and started to walk in a voice called out to you.

“Hey, Y/N wait up.” Connor said and you did so. 

“Hey.” You said

“What happened to your truck?” He asked as you walked into ED.

“Got rear ended yesterday.” You said

“Are you ok?” He asked and you smiled and nodded.

“All good. Seatbelt cut me and little stiff but all good.” You said

“Good. If you start hurting more let one of us know.” He said as you got into the locker room.

“I know, Connor.” You chuckled and he smiled and then you were both heading different ways and your first official shift started. Your day consisted of being paged and seeing patients overall everything was great and you got the hang of it quickly. Soon your shift was done and you were heading home.

When you got home you were quick to get out of your truck and into the apartment complex and to your apartment. You were quick to change and were about to sit down on the couch when a knock sounded on the door and you were sighing and getting up. You opened the door and was met face to face with Kelly.

“Kelly, hi.” You said breathlessly and then you noticed that he had flowers and a bag of food. “I thought our date wasn’t until Saturday.” You said.

“It is but I wanted to thank you for the cookies and I thought dinner would be perfect.” He said and you smiled.

“Come in!” You said opening the door wider and he walked in. You took the flowers and walked to the kitchen to put the flowers in a vase as he set the food on the table. He got the food out and you both got the food and went to the couch after you decided that it would be more comfortable. You both watched some cheesy show and commented on it and even after the food was done with you found yourself cuddling into him and he pulled you further into him. You two looked up at each other and slowly leaned into each other and your lips touched and sparks flew. As the two of you kissed, he started to lay you down on the couch and hover over you. He licked your bottom lip and your mouth opened and your tongues fought for dominance until breath was needed and you both let up catching your breath. 

“Bedroom?” He asked in a husky voice and you could feel his erection on your clothed core. And you clenched around nothing at his husky voice.

“Yes.” You said after catching your breath. He got up and you almost whimpered but when he started to take off his shirt and saw his ripped body you started to drool. He held his hand out and you took it and he pulled you up and into his arms with a squeal but he caught you. 

“Jump.” He said and you did so and he caught you effortlessly and he started to walk to her bedroom after you told him kissing all the way. When you got there, he set you down and slowly undressed you down to her bra and underwear kissing your legs all the way down as he took her pants off. He slowly came back up and kissed your lips as he slowly made you go back onto the bed. He was quick to remove his pants and underwear leaving him in nothing and you could feel his cock against your clothed core. He suddenly sat on his knees and slowly removed your underwear going all the way down and then lifting your leg and taking them off and throwing them somewhere. He kissed your ankle and down your leg to your soaking core.

“Kelly.” You moaned out and he smirked and continued until his mouth was where you needed him the most and you let out a loud moan as he licked and ate you out like no tomorrow. He had your leg over his shoulder so he could go deeper. “Fuck, Kelly.” You moaned and he continued until that knot in your stomach started to get tight and close to bursting and then he stopped. “What the fuck?” You asked and he smirked looking up at you as he moved his upper body up to you and kissed you. You tasted yourself as his tongue fought yours for dominance. Your bra was quick to leave, finally leaving you naked. He let up when air was needed.

“I want to be inside of you.” He said and you moaned.

“Fuck me.” You said and he smiled.

“I’m going to make love to you.” He said and then was guiding his cock to your entrance and pushing in slowly until he bottomed out and you both moaned.

“You’re so big.” You moaned, throwing your head back.

“You’re so tight.” He moaned and then he started to move slowly and he kissed your neck, your mouth, sucked on your nipples until he was satisfied that they got the same attention. He thrusted into you slowly and deeply. “You’re taking me so well. You were made for me.” He moaned.

“I’m yours, Kelly. Have been since freshman year of high school even if we didn’t know it.” You moaned wrapping your legs around his waist making him go deeper and hit spots you didn't know that could be hit. You were not a virgin but hadn’t sex in a long time.

“You’re mine and I’m yours.” He said, that knot was back and ready to snap any minute 

“Faster, please.” You moaned and he obeyed and went faster. “Fuck me.” You moaned.

“I’m close, Baby.” He said thrusts were getting sloppy.

“Me too.” You replied and one more thrust and you both were cumming. You both stayed there until he was rolling to the side of you and he pulled the covers back and you both were cuddling into each other. Your eyes were getting heavy and you yawned.

“Get some sleep. I’ll be here in the morning.” He said and that was all you needed because you were asleep with your head on his chest listening to his heartbeat. After he saw your breath even out, he fell asleep so happy to have you in his arms.

*************

The next morning you woke up to weight across your body and breath hitting your neck. After first you freaked out but then you saw a familiar watch and smiled. “You know I fell in love the first time I saw you and I kicked myself for not talking to you. You were so out of my league.” He said, startling you.

“Fuck you scared me.” You said as you turned in his arms to look at him and he slowly opened his eyes. “I fell in love the first time I saw you too. Also, bull shit, you were way out of my league.” You said and he chuckled and shook his head.

“No, you were way out of my league. I was so scared to tell you or talk to you because I feared you would reject me.” He said

“I had the same fear.” You said and he smiled and kissed your forehead.

“We found each other now.” He said and you smiled and nodded.

“We sure did.” You whispered 

“I don’t ever want to let you go.” He said 

“You don’t have to. I’m yours.” You said and he smiled.

“I’m yours too. I love you.” He whispered

“I love you too.” You replied and it was the truth. Neither of you were going to let each go ever. You were perfectly fine with that. You got the man of your dreams and he got the woman of his dreams. Nothing could take that way not now and not ever because the love that you both had for each other was enough to keep you together forever.

Tag list:

@kmc1989

@els-marvelvsp

@atarmychick007

@nyx2021

@grandstrangerphantom

@angenu01-blog

@talesofreading

[cameronspecial]

Candle-Lit Dinners

Pairing: Rafe Cameron x Reader

Warnings:  Suggestive Ending

Pronouns: She/Her

Word Count: 0.5K

Request by @arim250: Hey! Kinda was thinking a request whenever u can. something w either drew or rafe about celebrating yn bday (bc my bday is coming lol) Ik I said my bday is the 25th but doesn’t have to be said that day maybe just around the holidays or however u would want to write it�� he plans a romantic evening a restaurant or made at home food reader maybe comes home and there’s rose petals/candles food and ending w a sexy night I wouldn’t want to be like smut but still something around there lol

Masterlist

Her parents took Y/N out to lunch and she spent the afternoon with them at the mall. She watched a movie, did some shopping, and was now ready to go home to her boyfriend. She opens the front door to find rose petals leading into the dining room. The house is filled with the aromatic smell of spices from her favourite meal. Creamy Thyme Chicken with Sautéed Apples and Mushrooms. She pads her way toward the candle-lit dinner and Rafe is standing over the table, pouring wine into glasses for them. “Happy Birthday, Baby,” he wishes with a smile. He comes around the table to take the bags out of her hands and kisses her lips. The bags drop to the floor by the archway. She grins at him, “Thank you. Dinner looks delicious.” He pulls the chair out for her and pushes it in once she is seated. “You’re welcome. What did you do after I dropped you off?” he questions. Y/N and Rafe had an early breakfast together before going to the beach to spend time on the sand. It was too cold for them to go swimming. There, he gave her her gift of a necklace with his initials on it. She takes her utensils in her hands, “We had lunch at the country club and then we watched that new rom-com that came out yesterday. I did some shopping too. What have you been doing?” 

They begin eating and Rafe’s leg reaches out under the table to twine with one of hers. “I’ve been preparing for all of this. I went grocery shopping because I didn’t want to buy the ingredients early and have you figure out my plan. It took me a while to figure everything out,” he replies. Her eyes look up from her dinner to stare at him through her lashes, “Well, thank you for going through all this trouble for me.” “No problem, Baby. Anything for my girl, especially on her birthday,” he says, leaning across the table to kiss her. 

The meal is finished over the course of an hour. The lovers take the time to talk to and be with each other. After dinner, he lets her help clean up because he knows she just wants to spend time with him. They finish the dishes and she orders him to stay downstairs. She dashes upstairs with the shopping bags she brought home, changing into a certain outfit she bought for today. She returns downstairs and watches the growing boner in her boyfriend’s pants. She motions towards it, “I see you like my gift to you.” He nods vigorously and beckons her forward. “It’s your birthday. I should be showering you in gifts,” he points out, pulling her onto his lap. She sits back on his knees as she straddles him. Her hands play with the hairs on the back of his neck, “I can think of a few ways that you can give me more presents and they could all be given right now.” “I think there are too. I think we have maybe five more gifts for me to give you,” he agrees against her lips. She giggles, “Five. That’s a lot.” “What can I say I’m a generous man,” he teases. They spend the night making passionate love by the candle-lit.

Taglist: @winterrrnight @loves0phelia @thelomlisrafecameron @wickedlovely121 @thepatriarchykeychain @drewsmusee @starkowswife @maybankslover @forstarkey @loving-and-dreaming

[bronx-bomber87]

First off thank you much for the lovely response to my last thoughts. I was very nervous about posting and got a lot of good replies, notes and reblogs. This fandom is the best. I think it's important to see both sides and I wanted Tim's to be represented in a way that gave insight without condoning what he'd done. (Cause our boy done messed up.) So giving a little of myself achieved that I believe.

I didn't know a ton about this ep cause I’m a square who stays away from spoilers haha So let’s get started.

6x08 Punch Card

Ugh my heart Tim got a reminder for Lucy’s Bday. Instant heart stomping already….I love that he had a reminder set up though. Making sure he would't forget. I’m crying already. Even though I'm so very sad. I love that he had this setup. When the elevator opens the amount of tension is palpable. Something felt very wrong. Good thing Tim was lost in his Lucy moment or he would've picked up on this sooner.

Poor Tim just wants to explain himself to Mad Dog. To explain what happened. The man is not in a place to receive it and we see later why. That look said it all though when Mad Dog departs. When Dr. London said she just took the wrong elevator my red flag gut was going off.

Now that I've see the episode as a whole I can see Dr. London's play here. She seems to use flirting as a defense mechanism all her own. To protect herself and manipulate those around her. I mean they brought her flirt fest with Aaron in the recap back for a reason I think. She's worried Tim read into something about her interaction with Mad Dog. I mean Tim is clearly upset about seeing him and she uses that to deflect attention off herself. My off meter definitely was kicking on with her. Especially with how flirty she was being I didn't like it.

Now some may see Tim's response as him flirting back but I think he's investigating her. Also he's being a little sassy because he's not comfortable with her doing therapy outside the office. I mean his face when he leaves that elevator is not of a man who just flirted. It's one who is one still hurting and two his cop gut is going off but he isn't sure why....He seems conflicted by what just went down in that elevator. Just like us he was feeling off about her.

This scene was very cute with Grey. I loved him anointing her to be a T.O. LOL Also once again showing the faith he has in Lucy. To train Celina and know she would do a good job. I was excited for this opportunity for her. For her to tap into leadership. Honestly it shouldn't have taken this long for Lucy to get to show her chops with this.

Tim is so busy trying to delete his Lucy reminder he runs into the physical version of it without realizing. Andddddd it’s still awkward af between them. How could It not be? No communication between them so naturally it is. Stilted awkwardness. Lucy got out of there so fast. Even with Tim making the all powerful joke. Trying to make it less awkward. Ow. Couldn't get away fast enough. The way he watches her go. *sigh* Like he's watching his entire heart depart the room.

This hurts you guys. No matter how much I know it’ll be ok at some point this hurts to watch. Grey not pulling any punches noting how very awkward that was. Tim telling him that's actually better than it's been....Makes me wonder how much time has passed between 6x07 and now. Wade not caring that's progress to Tim. He is not messing around....

Just wants Tim to fix is ASAP cause of the team dynamic. He's not wrong. Man isn't wrong. Rarely if ever is. Saying if Tim can't there’s gonna be a transfer and it won’t be Lucy….I mean I LOVE Grey siding with Lucy on this one. Not a doubt in his mind if it shakes out that way it'll be Tim. That being said just hearing that. Ugh. Deep anxiety pit of my stomach. And of course it would be friggin North Hollywood. That damn station been haunting them since S2. Looming over them ready to take one of them away.

Lucy being Celina’s T.O .for the day I love it. She is so excited to be her leader even if it's just for this shift. Just wants to 'Invest in her success.' You know Lucy's leadership is pretty damn identical to how I am with my team. While I am mostly Tim there are pieces of Lucy in me as well. I related to her style of leadership quite a bit.

Aaron and Tim in the surveillance van is hilarious. Their dynamic has always entertained me. I truly adore these two goobers together. Tim is trying so hard to keep his shit together. Aaron dying of ask him if he finds it hard to surveil his old team for an OP? Tim of course gives him the company line. Doing what he is told without complaint. Pulling out some S1 Tim with that reply my love.

Tim then telling him he needs a stronger deodorant LOL It's too funny. What a boring assignment for them both. Tim went from running that entire team. Doing ops and making decisions on the fly to this….Also Aaron being too distracted by his deodorant comment to pay attention is the most Aaron thing ever haha

What I love the most about Lucy with Celina is her correcting without crushing her confidence. Once again reminding me of myself when I'm correcting my work kids on stuff. She is kind but confident in her assessment of what she did wrong in this moment. Celina receiving it well because she handles it this way. Lucy out here crushing it already with zero T.O. training. Just going off instinct and what she would want if she was a newbie still. Once again her and I very alike.

Oh Tim getting that reminder again. *heart clutch.* Sigh my boy. Aaron offering to turn it off for him. I love that he was gonna have it remind him through out the day. Pre-breakup Tim clearly didn't want to forget. Wanted to make sure he not only knew it was but to make sure to make a big deal of it. That's just an assumption on my part but man would've wanted to do that. it's the way he has 'TOMORROW.' Wanting to make sure he didn't forget such an important day. *screams into a pillow.* Aaron asking if he’s gonna get her anything? I’m sure he had stuff in mind. But yeah bad form indeed…

Tim’s sweet smile when he finds out what Aaron got her. Knowing how perfect of a gift that would be for her. That sweet knowing smile makes me wanna weep a bit. He knows his girl so well. Lot of sadness attached to the smile though. 'Can I ask why ya’ll split up?' 'No.' LMAO Took it too far Aaron....You're lucky you got that much good sir.

This scene with Mad Dog hurt my heart for Tim. No matter how wrong he was for what he did I still hate seeing this. This was what I was worried about with him working with Metro. Picking at the wounds he hasn’t even begun to heal about how he left. I knew him making notes on the OP was going to come back and bite him in the ass. Watching all his repercussions is painful to see I have to say. Knowing what we know about Mad Dog later I think that's part of why he goes off on Tim. Doesn't make it any easier to watch though...

Friggin Love Lucy being a BAMF in this episode. Especially in this moment. When she once again corrects but doesn't crush Celina about her gun. It's the way she guides Celina and has control over every situation they encounter in this ep. Proving herself a worthy teacher and leader. Also she was a better teacher to Celina in one episode than Nolan has been her entire career. Dude is a stinker of a T.O. It shows in how Celina makes basic mistakes Lucy had down pat long before this time in her rookie year.

Too bad Lucy can't finish out her training and Nolan is booted. But that'll never happen nothing sticks to that man. Not since S3 premiere. The rules and repercussions are rubber and he's glue. What doesn't stick to him does to everyone else... Grey should really evaluate his teaching skills. But that'll never happen. But she deserves a better teacher than him.

From the minute Tim entered the room something seemed very wrong. From the way Mad Dog was just expecting Tim to flog him. Like he wanted Tim to ream him out for how the OP went down. Also how Mad Dog seemed nervous af to see Dr London. I mean look at that man above. He is scared shitless she is there to see him. The way he watches her though out the scene. Especially when she leaves.

Tim's cop gut is going off like crazy when she enters the room. Wondering how the hell she even know about this? He seems to take her answer at face value because honestly its pretty good considering it's a bold faced lie. Tim once again feeling like something is very off but isn't sure why.

First let me say once again I feel personally attacked by the choice in song once again. lol I couldn't find the song to save my life. The lyrics are *chef kiss.* They're painfully accurate for them both. Think they've been very intentional with their ending music and just in general this season. These lyrics filled me with some hope as well. Jotted down the lyrics since couldn't find the song.

‘When the sun won’t shine and the words don’t rhyme. And there’s mountains you can’t move. Somethings on your mind and it’s been some time-since you felt like you were you. When it all caves in feeling paper thin. And the pain might cut right through.

Oh child, Lift up your head. All this trouble's only gonna last for awhile.’ Yeah we’re gonna be all right oh child. Lift up your head. And the light's gonna find you. When you feel like you ain’t got a friend. And you’re wondering if you ever gonna smile again. Every little thing gonna be ok. I know that you gonna see better days.’ *heart clutch.*

Damn smart of Tim saying happy birthday from Kojo and not him. I’m not crying you are. This was so so sweet. Lucy's reaction to Kojo got me all in my feels. She's so excited to see him. Then that excitement melts into sadness. Because he's an extension of Tim. The way she pet's him and says how much she misses him ugh.

Seems there is a double meaning going on there. We all know despite the hurt how much she misses her person. Tim just standing there only imagining her reaction when Kojo makes his way back. What a way to bring that sweet boy back in. I'm so happy about it. Tim is respecting her space but couldn’t let her bday go without doing something. Had to let her know her was thinking of her still. The fact that it’s happening in the hallway where so many seminal moments have played out for them.... I wanna cry.

I LOVE that Tim got Kojo to put his little paw in ink for the card. It is so sweet. Their fur baby. He put serious thought and effort into this. This was so well done. Only Melissa and Eric could have chemistry without even seeing each other. This is the first time we've really seen Lucy cry about them. 6x06 she was in complete shock. 6x07 was her processing her thoughts/emotions. She was on the verge of tears but we didn't see her cry. This was first time we've seen her shed tears on screen at least since the break up. Wanna hug her so much. She deserved this card and more. Like a real conversation with him but this is a good start.

She knows this is Tim reaching out without physically doing so. Showing her he still cares. I mean he clearly very much does. You don't put thought and effort in like this if you don't. It's a huge thing for him to do right now. Lucy recognizes the effort in this adorable act. Tim's face after she reads the card. Ripping my damn heart out. The absolute regret splayed all over it. Like it’s finally hitting him what he’s done to her. What he’s lost in the process. He gave up his favorite person. His happy place and just it’s hitting him square in his chest.

Like a freight train that’s run him over. It's the way he shakes his head. Kicking himself. Knowing he hastily threw them away. What a mistake he’s made in his irrational decision making. It’s written all over his beautiful face. He may not fully understand yet why he did it but the regret is evident. Eric be killing me. His face screams all that. Knowing he should’ve been with Lucy for her birthday. Hell probably sharing that bath bomb she brought up with her. Killing me softly. Hurts so good. Damnit writers... This is being handled so well though. So hats off to them. They both needed this moment more than either of them knew.

Mad dog killing himself....jesus H Christ. Poor Tim the last thing he needs is this. It explains why he was extra nasty to Tim though. Tim saw the flaw in his play and freaked the hell out. Also for Tim to see someone he once trusted with his life compromise themselves. Compromise the safety of their own men. Gut punch. And for what? Money? Power? We won't know till more of this unravels. Whatever it is won't be for a good reason. I know Tim hates himself for his mistakes. But those mistakes always had some form of honor attached to them.

He may not see that but I do. Now the op where he got his men killed no but what he did after was honorable. What he did for Mitch came from a honorable place. I just wonder how seeing Mad Dog doing something so very un-honorable is gonna affect him moving forward...Oh my lord I’m so mad about Dr London not because I liked her. But because I didn’t want it to derail Tim’s therapy in any way. The man needs it. Here’s hoping he continues in s7 with someone better.

Everyone was right she’s a dirty birdy. I was just hoping she wouldn’t be. But my ick and uncomfortable factor went WAY up in this ep with her. I knew it was inevitable. It's not that I didn't want to be wrong about her. It's the fact I didn't want this to hurt Aaron and I definitely I didn’t want her to be dirty for Tim that was it. For his therapy and the progress he's made. I hope this doesn’t affect his therapy journey and he can find someone not compromised in S7.

That promo for next week oh my lord….the hug! The hug! "This doesn't change anything." Then pulls him right in like nothing's changed. I will be living there from now on. Or until next week lol Love the Finale being a 2 parter as well. Phew this is gonna be an intense ending to this season. Gonna be chomping at the bit for S7 once it's done I know it. Like the song stated we're gonna see better days. I truly believe that. We got this my lovely fandom. Thank you for always being so wonderfully receptive of these reviews. Appreciate any likes, comments or reblogs that come my way.

~~~

Side notes-non Chenford

Angela shooting Monica down with Wesley. She's an Epic Queen and I adore her.

Dr London is in alliance with Monica. That's super great….cool cool cool……I have a feeling and D and I discussed this earlier. Reminds us of Armstrong. This feels more like a she's been forced into it a situation. Because its obvious she's good at her job.

But the way she freaked out about the cops being hurt clearly shook her. She looked on the verge of tears in Mad Dog's room. So do I think she's a bad person? Unsure at the moment. Do I think she was once a good person who was manipulated into whatever this alliance is? I do. Be interesting to see how her SL unfolds.

[v3nusxsky]

hiiiiii since today is my bday I was thinking if I could request lesso x female reader with loooots of comfort where lesso found out that today is r’s bday but she kept it a secret because she hated her birthdays and lesso felt sad for r so she surprised her 💛 thank u sm

A day to remember

*Authors note~ Drabble time i got this request around my birthday and birthdays are hard for me so I decided to wait until I had healed over my 21st before posting this which is based off my story*

Trigger warnings~ Vanishing Twin Syndrome (VTS) pregnancy loss and the aftereffects on the living twin, grief, that’s all I think?

Birthdays are meant to be joyful and memorable. The one day of the year that’s yours to feel special and loved. Any birthday parties you attended you’d seen parents beaming with pride, celebrating their child. Only on your birthday, your mother cried. In your younger years you didn’t realise that fact, too distracted by the colourful paper and what was inside. But as you grew you became more aware of your mothers tears.

On your tenth birthday you caught her crying in her room, not understanding why she wasn’t happy. You are the big ten now! Surely that’s a good thing? But that is when she told you that it wasn’t just your birthday, you have a twin. Honestly, you could’ve laughed it off if it wasn’t for the constant feeling of loneliness and the unusual attachment you have to your bear given to you at birth. From then on, birthdays became reminders, a day to grieve for you and your mother.

The bigger birthdays were always the hardest, turning twenty one alone, knowing the big celebration should be joint. Weeks of planning should’ve been spent over what cake you’d have, where you’d go, what you’d do, were spent alone wondering what you would do with the day. It shouldn’t be the way that it is and you knew that.

Leonora knew your story, but had fought hard to discover when your birthday was, she simply couldn’t let your 25th birthday slide by unnoticed. You were a quarter of a century old and that needed to be celebrated. Of course she knew you wouldn’t want a fuss, you’d wake up and cry in her arms missing your twin, then she’d manage to convince you to eat something small before you’d crawl back into bed under the mountains of blankets ready to sleep the day away. Well not this year.

On the dreaded day, the routine started as normal, she held you as you cried whispering words of love and reassurance that your twin would want you to celebrate not spend all day sad. This year she couldn’t coax you out of bed for breakfast so she brought breakfast to you, a single pink rose on the tray. On said rose, a little bit of paper tied with a piece of pink string stating, “happy 25th sis! Gods we are old now huh? Celebrate on earth for me, and I’ll celebrate in the sky, forever your twin.”

More tears flowing at the thoughtful gesture from your Leo had you agreeing to get out of bed at least, a small but vital step. After breakfast Leonora dragged you to the bathroom where she pampered her girl after making you promise not to tell a soul, after all she’s still the Dean of Evil. From there she surprised you with gifts, only small but intimate items, loved nonetheless by you which made it worth it. Around the evening the real plan would begin.

After your favourite meal and some more tears, you and Leonora walked hand in hand to the gardens. The stars shining on full display as you stood underneath there glow. “It’s beautiful Nora” you murmured, seemingly mesmerised by the brightest star in the sky. “I figured we’d stand here and wish your twin the best birthday also, I know how much you miss them and we’ll they certainly are the brightest star in the sky dove.”

Most people wouldn’t understand why you cling to the woman, sobbing in her arms at a simple walk under the stars, but you knew she did. “Shh darling, I know it’s okay. I know you miss them sweet girl. It’s okay, I’m here dove let it out” among other reassurances where murmured out in between kisses being dropped to the crown of your head. After some time, soothing classical music suddenly surrounds you causing you to pull back in confusion, “Nora?”

“My sweet little dove, I wanted to make today special for you and well I thought this would be the perfect place and time. Forgive me not being on one knee but here under the brightest star in the sky I wanted to ask you if you would be my wife” she rushed out, it was rare for Leonora to show her nerves but they were soon washed away when you jumped into her arms repeatedly saying yes. The ring slipped perfectly onto your left ring finger, and that’s when Leonora made a promise to never let you not celebrate both your birthdays, the walk under the stars becoming a tradition for you both.

[hollyethecurious]

CS AU: A Pirate Booty Birthday (1/1)

Summary: She knew her soon-to-be former best friend had something up her sleeve. No way Ruby Lucas would allow Emma Swan’s birthday to be celebrated with a simple pool party. Oh, no. She just had to do something over the top. Something that would make this year ‘the best birthday ever!’ Something that would go down in infamy among their friend group. Something that Emma would find totally and completely humiliating. So, of course. Ruby had hired a stripper.

A/N: So, the other day a picture and video was posted on social media depicting our fave donning his pirate outfit once more in order to surprise a co-worker for her birthday. The post included a caption quipping, "The pirate they hired for our birthday party was actually really good", which caused many of us to wish we could hire the same said pirate for our bday celebrations. This, naturally, sparked a fic idea which I shared on the csmm discord and, well… you can probably guess the rest, lol.

Much love to the discord ladies and especially to @jrob64 who championed the idea so much she agreed to beta. Of course, seeing as it is her bday today, I'm also gifting this fic to her. Sorry it isn't the actual pirate, but I hope it is a close second! Happy birthday!

A shout out also goes to @kmomof4 who also gave this a once over for me😘

Rated T+ / Also available on ao3 and ff.net / buy me a coffee / add to tag list / Curious? Come Ask Me!  

A Pirate Booty Birthday

She knew her soon-to-be former best friend had something up her sleeve. No way Ruby Lucas would allow Emma Swan’s birthday to be celebrated with a simple pool party. Oh, no. She just had to do something over the top. Something that would make this year ‘the best birthday ever!’ Something that would go down in infamy among their friend group.

Something that Emma would find totally and completely humiliating.

So, of course. Ruby had hired a stripper.

A pirate themed stripper to go with the pirate themed decor and pirate themed drinks they’d been enjoying all afternoon and into the evening.

A pirate themed stripper who nearly had Emma swallowing her tongue when he appeared in Ruby’s backyard, decked out in head-to-toe black leather with artfully mussed dark hair, kohl-lined piercing blue eyes, auburn tinted stubble, and a devilish smirk that would make a mermaid swoon.

Holy hell and hot damn.

“Get your dollar bills ready, girls!” Lily called out, practically knocking Belle over as she rushed for her purse.

"Sorry, ladies,” the pirate crooned as he swaggered towards them. “I only accept doubloons.”

Well, fuck. He has an accent, too?! Emma thought, while silently freaking out. Damn, and it actually sounds authentic. It can’t be real, though. Right?

Stopping in front of their group, he cocked one hip to the side and tucked his thumb into his belt, perusing each of them with a sultry glance and briefly pausing when his eyes landed on her before addressing them all once more. “Besides... the only one allowed to touch the Captain this evening is the birthday girl. Perhaps one of you would be good enough to point her out to me?"

A half dozen pointer fingers immediately gave her up and Emma’s mouth went completely dry when a wide, feral grin spread across the pirate captain’s face. Seductively, he scraped his teeth across his bottom lip, then brought his thumb up to brush against the now reddened flesh. His eyes raked over her as she sat stock still in her red bikini and one of his brows raised cockily up his forehead. When he finally spoke again, Emma would swear his voice dropped an octave as he quipped, "I was hoping it’d be you."

Cat calls and whoops of both laughter and encouragement rang out from her friends, forcing Emma from her seat in the hopes of making an escape to the house. Where she could hide. Or wait for the ground to swallow her whole. She wasn’t picky.

With swift reflexes, he moved to block her path, his persona breaking for a brief moment as he gave her a commiserating look. It was quickly schooled and replaced by his Captain facade as he tutted, “Now, now, love. Heed your Captain.” Gently he led her back to her chair, encouraging her to sit before he propped a booted foot up on the end of the diving board. “Don’t make me force you to walk the plank. Just sit right there and take your lap dance like a good girl.”

He winked at her, causing another round of shouts and whistles and ‘atta girls’ to be yelled from her friends. Looking over her shoulder, Emma made eye contact with Ruby and mouthed, “I hate you,” but the effect was lost when the hysterical laugh she’d been holding back finally made its way to the surface.

“You love me,” Ruby mouthed back, blowing her a kiss before bringing up a music file from her phone to play over the speakers. Presumably, the pirate stripper had sent her his music when she booked him.

Which turned out to be the theme from Pirates of the Caribbean. Because, of course it was.

Emma hated to admit it but… the pirate stripper Ruby hired for her birthday was actually pretty good.

Very. Good.

Tantalizing good.

Toned and bronzed and sultry and commanding and wouldn’t-mind-blindly-following-his-Captain’s-orders good.

“Come on, Captain!” Lily shouted as he slipped off his suspenders and began to tug the smoke-like, gossamer thin blouse free from his pants, revealing toned abs and happy trail. “Hoist the mainsail for us!”

Emma thought she’d caught the beginnings of an eye roll before he turned his back to them, his hips gyrating and the muscles of his ass flexing beneath the tight leather.

A piercing whistle erupted next to Emma’s drumdrum. Tink practically had her fingers halfway down her throat to make the obnoxious sound. “Show us your pirate booty!” she drunkenly yelled before an unseemly snort escaped her from the self-satisfied laugh she let out.

“Forget the booty!” Lily called out salaciously. “Show us your jewels!”

“Guys!” Emma admonished, halfway turning in her seat to face her unruly friends. “Enough! Let the poor man do his thing.”

“I’d like to do his thing,” Lily shot back, vulgarly licking her lips then catching Emma’s hardened glare and silent reprimand to behave. “Spoil sport,” Lily huffed, poutily taking another large gulp from her solo cup, her eyes cutting back to the Captain who was being cheered on by the rest of the group.

“Sorry, Ems,” Tink offered with a sincere expression of contrition before being jolted to the side by Ruby who had refilled her drink and was now joining their little mob.

“Oh, come on, Emma,” Ruby said with a wolfish grin. “Tell me you wouldn’t happily walk that plank.” Jutting her chin towards the night’s entertainment she’d provided, she gave a whistle of her own, pointed down to Emma, then shouted. “Let her shiver your timber, Captain!”

Emma turned back around and her jaw dropped. Apparently, he’d been rather busy while her back was turned. He’d removed his great coat and vest early on in the performance, but now, gone were the blouse, boots, and leather pants, leaving him in nothing more than a tight, barely-there, black Speedo.

She couldn’t help but focus on the bulge he was currently thrusting in their direction, his generous size evident from the way the material strained around it. His hips swiveled and her eyes traveled up the happy trail of hair at his navel, the twitch and flex of his abdominal muscle mesmerizing her. As did the broad planes of his chest, dusted with the same luscious hair her fingers itched to run themselves through. Her final destination was his face and her breath caught at the way he stared at her, his attention solely focused on her gaze with his own hungry, predatory, wouldn’t-mind-making-a-meal-out-of-her intent reflected in his dark, ocean blue depths.

With a dirty grind in his hips, he swaggered towards them until he was right in front of her. Without warning, he threw himself forward, bracing himself against the edge of the table behind her. Arms caging her in as he hovered over her in an impressively held plank position. Emma had to grip the ends of the armrest to force her hands to remain on their best behavior, her bottom lip firmly tucked between her teeth, trapping a moan inside her mouth as his body rolled over the top of her, his breath - soft, sensual pants exhaling from his chest - ghosting across her face as his kohl-rimmed eyes stayed locked onto hers.

“Go on, Emma!” One of her friends encouraged dirtily. “Make his Roger Jolly!

“Show him where to drop his anchor, Ems!”

Another half-amused, half-exasperated look flitted across his face before he could stop it. He probably got comments like that a lot, had probably heard every bad pirate pun there was. The way he continued to stare down at her, though, his body grinding a hair's-breadth away from hers and occasionally making contact when his leg couldn’t help but brush against her own, made Emma think he might not mind them so much when they were applied to her.

Of course, that had to be wistful thinking on her part. Given how gorgeous and hot and limber and intense and - did she say hot already? - he was, Emma was certain he got his fair share of propositions from equally hot and horny women.

Emma practically whimpered when he rolled his body away from hers, instantly missing the close contact and feeling more flushed and keyed up than she’d expected to get. Bringing her hand up, she made an attempt to fan herself, but was thwarted when his hand caught hers. Tugging lightly, he encouraged her to her feet then wrapped an arm around her waist, bringing her hips flush with his as he continued to roll, swivel, and grind against her body.

“Let the pillaging and plundering begin!” Ruby shouted.

A toe-curling chuckle rumbled through his chest and he brought his mouth tauntingly close to her ear, murmuring, “Your friends are quite the lively bunch.”

Yep. The accent was real. Fuck. Me.

“Yeah,” Emma replied a bit breathlessly, her body now moving in time with his as they finished out the track as though they were at some risque nightclub and not her best friend's backyard. “Sorry about that.”

“No need to apologize, love,” he told her, dropping his arms and taking a step back.

Emma hadn’t even realized the song had ended, but her friends absolutely losing their shit with screams and whistles and applause probably should have clued her in.

“What say you, ladies?” he called out to the group. “Has your Captain delivered to your satisfaction, or is he to walk the plank?”

Once again, he propped his foot on the diving board and her friends - as eager to have him dripping wet as she was - immediately began chanting, “Walk the plank! Walk the plank! Walk the plank!”

Shooting them a wide grin, he hopped up onto the board but paused when Ruby called out. “Here, Emma! In case he needs some encouragement!”

She tossed a plastic, toy sword at her which Emma miraculously caught. Glancing up at the man, something swooped deep in her belly at the raised brow and smirk he was giving her.

“Do you even know how to use that thing, love?” he said in a teasing and mocking tone.

“Yeah,” she said, stepping up behind him on the board and pressing the plastic tip into his side. “The pointy end goes in the other guy.”

She poked at him with it again, urging him towards the end of the board, or… plank, and absolutely did not find his ticklish response at all endearing.

“What’s the matter, Captain?” she replied in a coy and coquettish tone. “Don’t like being jabbed with my sword?”

The Captain scoffed and turned to face her. “You call that a jab?” he shot back, and Emma gasped as he yanked the sword from her grasp, then used his quick reflexes to pull her into him before she even had a chance to realize what he was doing. He had her arms pinned to her sides with his tightly wrapped around her, the heavy bulge in the front of his Speedo pressed firmly against her belly as a smolder bloomed from his expression and deep crooning tone professed, “Trust me, love. When I jab you with my sword… you’ll feel it.”

Emma gasped as he threw them both off the diving board into the pool. Panic gripped her when she hit the water and began to sink. Years of bouncing around foster care meant she’d never learned to swim properly, so, on instinct, when she resurfaced, she clung to the Captain, wrapping her arms and legs around his body to stay afloat.

“Sorry, love,” he chuckled. “I thought we could both do with some cooling off.” Seeing her expression, which she hadn’t been able to calm yet, he held her a bit tighter and asked, “Are you alright?”

“Y-Yeah,” she stammered, reluctantly pulling one of her hands off him so she could wipe the water from her face. “I, um… I just… I don’t do well with, um…”

“Bloody hell,” he cursed at himself. “I wasn’t thinking. I’m so sorry, love. Here.” He started to swim them over to the ladder. “I’ve got you. Just grab onto the rails.”

Emma did as he instructed, extricating herself from him so she could put her feet on the solid rungs of the ladder. He grabbed onto the edge of the pool and with little effort, hoisted himself out of the water, getting to his feet in time to come around and offer her a hand up the ladder.

“Emma!” Her friends exclaimed, rushing towards them. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” she assured them, waving off their concern with her free hand, the other still tucked in his grasp. “Really. I’m fine.”

Ruby draped a towel over her shoulders then offered one to the dripping wet man next to her. Emma would be lying if she said she wasn’t a little disappointed when he let go of her hand and began drying off. She would have enjoyed watching the beads and streams of water sluice down his trim and toned body.

“Thank you, Miss Lucas,” he replied, stepping back from the gaggle of girls that had joined them. Emma could tell it was a prudent and deliberate move on his part, giving himself a personal bubble of space in case any of them decided to take the opportunity to get handsy. Sheepishly, he glanced back at Emma and offered once more, “My sincerest apologies. I shouldn’t have--”

“My fault entirely,” Ruby chimed in, turning apologetic eyes towards Emma. “I should have given Killian a heads up about you and the pool.”

“Killian?” Emma said, her eyes snapping back to the man who now had the towel wrapped around his waist.

Pity.

“Killian Jones,” he said, introducing himself as he bowed his head and offered her a boyish smile. “At your service, Miss…”

“Swan,” Emma reciprocated. “Emma Swan. Pleasure to meet you.”

“Oh, trust me, love,” he crooned, steeping a bit closer into her personal space. “The pleasure is all mine.”

A symphony of sighs and squeals crescendoed around them and Emma’s cheeks heated at the knowledge that her friends were still hovering.

“Alright,” Ruby shouted, getting everyone’s attention. “This alcohol isn’t gonna drink itself. Who wants a refill?”

Emma shot her friend a grateful look as she led the mob back towards the tiki bar, giving her an opportunity to speak with Killian privately before he had to pack up and be on his way.

“Do you, uh… need some help collecting your things?” she asked him, tucking a wet, tangled strand of hair behind her ear.

“I can manage,” he told her, though he made no effort to do so. “You know,” he murmured softly, closing what little space remained between them. “I can help you with your… water issue, if you’d like.”

“My water issue?” Emma replied in an amused breath. “Is that what the kids are calling it these days?”

An abashed huff fell from his lips and he reached up to awkwardly scratch behind his ear. “No, I meant… You seem a bit uncertain and slightly nervous regarding--”

“Yeah,” she said, offering him a lifeline. “I’m not the greatest swimmer. Never really learned how to--”

“I can help with that,” he said, cutting her off in an enthusiastic rush. “I mean… If you’d like me to. I’m a certified lifeguard and just got a full time position with the city to oversee the safety of the beaches.”

“Do you make this offer to every birthday girl you perform for?” she asked, a slightly accusatory tone underpinning her words, wondering if this were some sort of line he often used to get women.

“No, actually,” he said fervently, and without any hint of offense. “I’d given up stripping quite a while ago. I only agreed to do it because Ruby’s boyfriend, Graham, is a mate of mine from back in the day.”

“So…” Emma drawled, flicking her eyes up at him through her lashes, “you’re saying, this was a one time thing?”

“Aye, love,” he murmured, the two of them swaying a bit closer to one another. “After tonight, I’m hanging up my great coat and leather pants for good.”

“Well, that’s a shame,” she said, her eyes dropping to focus on the way his tongue ran over his lips. “I wouldn’t mind seeing you in that get-up again sometime.”

“Perhaps,” he rasped, his lips tantalizing close to hers. “I could be persuaded to give you a private showing sometime, provided it follows a private swimming lesson.”

“How’s Monday sound?”

“Bloody perfect,” he exhaled before crashing his mouth to hers.

If they hadn’t already, Ruby’s neighbors were gonna call the cops with a serious complaint about the explosion of noise currently erupting from her friends.

The End.

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[krishna-sangini]

Living The Vrindavan Dream

(Warning: Very long post)

This is the post describing my trip to Braj Dham <3

Day 1:

We reached Vrindavan at around 3 p.m. Had prasad and then after resting for a while, we left for the Banke Bihari Temple.

Tbh, my experience in Banke Bihari wasn't very good. Not because of the temple itself, obviously, but because of the people. Rushing in like literal animals! Like, yeah I understand y'all are excited to see the lil Manmohana there, BUT SO ARE WE! Anyyyyway, we did catch a good glimpse of Him there sooooo 🫠❤️🥹❤️

Anyyyyway, we then went to the Sneh Bihari Temple. It was way less crowded and people were civilised. Soooo yeah, that's where I broke down. Like, my Keshav looked so freaking beautiful there, I just couldn't bring myself to dam my tears. It was simply ethereal...✨

He just looked so freaking beautiful and I felt like I had transcended all limits of the world...💫

And guess whaaat? The pandit of the temple called me near him AND GAVE ME A BEAUTIFUL GARLAND FROM KESHAV! IT WAS LIKE THE BEST MOMENT OF MY LIFE; I HAVEN'T BEEN HAPPIER FR FR!!! OUUUUFFFF KESHAV I LOVE YOU TOOOO!

We then visited the Ashta Sakhi Temple, Radha Ballabh Temple and the Keshav Mahadeveswar Temple. The serenity there is to die for. Like, why not? It's our Kanha's place after all!

Day 2:

JANMASTHAMI DAAAAY!!!!!!! THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE? HELL YEAH!

Soooo, I wore this beautiful ghaghra for my Keshav's bday celebrations.

But ek haadsa hogaya. Four monkeys legit jumped on me to snatch my beautiful latkans. One of them even managed to rip one of the latkans off my ghaghra🥲. One grabbed my ghaghra, and the rest three grabbed my chunari. But Kanha saved another me from a full-on Vastra Haran sooo yeah. I just got a few scratches.

Anyyyway, first, we went to Seva Kunj Temple. There, I did my Keshav's abhishek!!!!!! I've never felt happier, fr fr; I almost cried. He looked so freaking cute like aaaaahhhh!

From there, we went to the Radha Raman Temple. Again, it was crowded to the point that breathing became laborious. Couldn't catch a proper glimpse of Keshav there 🥲

Next, we went to Radha Damodar Temple. This place was great. Crowded, but organised. Plus, they had an almost empty bhajan hall. There, we could sit peacefully and I could get lost in my Keshav's thoughts...😌

From there, we went to the Meera Bai Temple. There was a super beautiful cow sitting in front of the idol. It felt as if the Murlidhar himself was petting her gently as she sat there calmly with her eyes closed. <3

We then visited the Govindji Temple. That place is so freaking beautiful! Like, you can feel the walls echoing the name of the darling of Vrindavan; it was simply blissful.

After that, we went back to our guest house to rest. In the evening, we went back to Seva Kunj for the Janmashtami celebrations.

IT. WAS. THE. HAPPIEST. I. HAVE. EVER. BEEN. IN. MY. WHOLE. ENTIRE. LIFE

Firstly, we had a beautiful pravachan by a Maharaj Ji. He basically talked about the birth of Krishna.

So, it's a lesser-known fact that Yashoda maiyya actually gave birth to twins, Yogmaya and Vrindavan Krishna. So, when Vasudev brought in Devaki's Krishna, both the Kanhas became one. And when Krishna and Balram were leaving with Akrur ji, the Vrindavan Krishna stayed back in Vrindavan. So, he technically never left. AND THAT'S WHY VRINDAVAN'S AIR REEKS OF LOVE AND DIVINE BLISS TO DATE!

Anyway, the Maharaj ji said so many other sweet things about us Krishna lovers. He was like, "We all sitting here for our Krishna; do you know in what roop y'all are sitting here? We're basically gopis here."

And I was like, "YES, YOU SAID IT! YOU SAID IT!!!!" It made me so happy for real!!!!!

Sooo, after the pravachan, there was kirtan. And each one of us, men and women likewise, danced our hearts out for our Kanha. It was so blissful, y'all. Dancing without a care in the world with complete strangers tied to each other with a single thread of love for our one and only Keshav; it was one of the rare times when I've felt truly joyous... 💫

At midnight, we all welcomed our Kanha by doing mandir parikrama. After the festivities were over, we had prasad after thanking Krishna for being with us always <3

Thus ended the best day of my life...🌺

Day 3:

The Janmashtami hangover was still there when we got ready for Seva Kunj again. We did kirtan there again before having prasad. Then in the evening, we left for ISKCON.

Now, I don't have any words to describe how freaking beautiful and ethereal our sakha looked there! Like, he looks so perfect that you can't help but tear up...✨ His beautiful lotus eyes legit glimmer at you overflowing with love. There's nothing more peaceful than just staring at his face there for real. Everything in ISKCON was so freaking beautiful; simple exquisite. All the lovely mural paintings, the mesmerising idols, the gorgeous architecture; I could spend the rest of my life there without any regrets.

Moving on, we left ISKCON for Prem Mandir.

F. I. N. A. L. L. Y

And there, I legit became oblivious to my surroundings. Like, my friend legit had to guide me through cuz I was in a trance-like state. The freaking delightful and charming statues showing different phases of my Keshav's life looked as if they were speaking to me. The lovely statues of Radha Rani with her Kanha were just so so so pretty! The temple interior gave heaven vibes for real. Like, I just don't have the words to describe how happy and tranquil I felt in there despite the crowd... ❤️ I completely lost my heart and soul to the Makhan Chor that day...💫 Did that quite happily, I'm telling ya.

Thus ended another glorious day.

Day 4:

The day I've probably been the most heartbroken, cuz that's the day we left Vrindavan.

But not before visiting Nidhi Van. Y'all, if anyone ever tells me Krishna is mythology, I'm cutting their throats off without batting an eyelash. Like, you literally FEEL Kanha walking beside you and caressing your arms lovingly as you walk through Nidhi Van! The trees there, gracefully twisted and intertwined with each other, are a living testimony of our Kanha's raas with his Radhe and sakhis... ✨ It was just so soothing to feel His presence right next to you there!!!! I'm just repeating the same thing again and again, cuz that's basically what you live there in the land of Keshav 🥹❤️

Anyway, melancholy struck immediately after we left Nidhi Van cuz yeah, we left Vrindavan... Yeah... It was heartbreaking. Like, yeah, He is with me always, every day, every second. But I LEFT VRINDAVAN, YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN, RIGHT!? Also, it was raining cats and dogs when we left. Call me over-dramatic, but I'm just gonna assume that it was my Keshav's bittersweet way of sending me off.

Anyway, we left for Radha Kund where we stayed at a मठ. In the evening, we went to see Radha Kund and Shyam Kund. Again, I felt His mischievous blissful presence pulling my leg right there <3 I felt my sakha lingering beside me, smiling at me with all His love. And I have no idea what overcame me, but I started singing 'Natnagar ki hai Saari Leela' aloud. Like, I hope no one minded that. But at the moment, my mind couldn't think of anything or anyone else but my Manmohana for real.

And yet another day in Braj passed by.

Day 5:

Our last day in Braj. We went to Barsana!!! We visited the Radha Rani Temple, of our very own Madanmohini... ❤️ The temple is so beautiful, y'all. Architecturally, aesthetically, and spiritually; it's simply perfect! And our Radha Rani, oufff! Unke baare me kya hi kahun? She's ever gorgeous, beautiful, dazzling, and whatnot! 🤩 And we both laughed about how Kanha is such a simp for her soooo, yeah!

The rest of the day, it simply rained. So we couldn't do much. But yeah, I listened to songs thinking about the past couple of days I spent with my Keshav himself... 💫

And yeah, the next day we left Braj... No further elaboration.

Photo/Video Dump:

My Vrindavan trip in short

I MISS THAT PLACE SO MUCH ASDFGHJKL!

P.S. I called up my bestie @pragyan05 and made her ugly cry by telling her about my Vrindavan trip 😌 I mean, why should I suffer alone.

@cheolliepdf @kanhapriya @krishakamal @krishna-premi @krishna-priyatama @krishnasamyuta @swayamev @stardustkrishnaverse @mindless-tirade @satakshiwrites-blog @janaknandini-singh999 @etherealmistt @celestesinsight @saanjh-ki-dulhan @whaelien @idllyastuff @kimbapeukidding @iwanttobeagopi @desi-yearning @ramayantika @pragyan05 @sambhavami

[personasintro]

Hi Mimi. Can I ask you for advice.

I have a friend who is mad at me because I’m not calling her back 24/7, and because I can’t hang out all the time and have to cancel due to the fact that I work and they sometimes, even if I have plans, call me in.

I couldn’t attend her boyfriend’s surprise birthday dinner, who she’ve only been dating for like 4 months and I’ve only met twice, because they wanted to go out late at night and I was working the day before, during, and the day after. However that particular day I got to finish my shift early because it was raining so my boss told me to just go home. On my way home another friend called me, who I haven’t seen in four month because we live 1h and 45min away from each other. My birthday is in two weeks but she’s going on vacation soon, she asked if we could meet up in the city and have dinner, this is like 4-5pm, because she wanted to celebrate me by buying me dinner. I said okey. I didn’t think I was doing anything wrong. We meet up, have dinner, order some drinks, and I post a video of us. The other friend, not even 5 minutes later, sends me a loooong message about what a bad friend I am without even knowing anything. I didn’t answer her right away and decided to wait until I was home. I got home at like 8:30, and the dinner was around 9-10isch so even if I didn’t go out with my friend I couldn’t go and celebrate her boyfriend because I needed to sleep.

She really went off on me, said a lot of things, and made me feel so shitty for nothing. So I wrote back and told her, we’re not kids, I didn’t do anything wrong, I explained briefly why I went out with my friend, and I also told her it’s my life and nobody can get mad at me for my choices, even if I was free that day it still shouldn’t be a problem because I don’t have an obligation to anybody. I also told her that I think it’s wrong that she decided to message me when she saw I was out, she could have waited and brought it up the next day instead of basically trying to ruin my night. I also texted her “don’t worry about this now, go and have fun, enjoy, let’s talk face 2 face when we get the chance” She then texted me back saying “I am celebrating his birthday all weekend, we can talk another day, I don’t have time to deal with this now”. I wrote back “sure”. My first thought, before I calmed myself down, was “so you have time to ruin my night, and start this whole thing, but you don’t have time to finish it?”.

Am I the asshole? Hahaha this sounds like a reddit post, I wanted to write it there but I don’t want to take a risk of her seeing it. Your account, your stories and you are also my comfort zone. I just feel safe here, which is why I am sorry for the rant and headache you have now. I just don’t like to talk about other people with other people, which is why I’m not asking for advice from my friends. But at the same time I’m desperate because I feel like I have done everything for her but just because I have work and have to prioritize myself I’m suddenly a bad friend for not attending her bfs dinner who I’ve only met twice. I mean it’s not like I missed her wedding day. It’s not like I was talking shit about her or told everyone her secrets for her to call me awful names and paint me as the bad guy. It’s not like the plan hanged on me, and I said no, and everybody stayed home but then I went out anyways. They still went out and had fun, so why should it be a problem if I was there or not.

I just want to add that this friendship is solely about me being there for her, I’m basically her therapist. I’ve never ever had demands on her or how she should treat me. I’m so drama free like this is my only drama in life atm in the past 6 years. I’m so easy going. You know that last year on my birthday she didn’t wish me a happy bday, and last year I asked her 6 times if she wanted to go on a vacation and she said no, but then she posts on snap that she’s going on a “random trip” with a girl she met 6 month ago at a gym who she doesn’t even talk to anymore because she feels that the girl was to clingy. I didn’t say anything because I thought it’s okey I’m not gonna ruin her day, vacation or whatever for something so silly, it’s HER life. I’m always there for her, even if I’m busy I always try to show her that she is not neglected by maybe sending her a song, or meme, or even going as far as telling her that I’m gonna be busy and that she can call me if it’s an emergency otherwise I won’t be so active. I always have her back, she calls me 4 in the morning and I pick up without blinking twice. My parents treat her as a second daughter, I’m always there for her as much as I can, and I just have to add that last month, I didn’t sleep for 36h and had a 10h shift the day after, but I still went out with her because she needed a friend due to having a bad day. I neglected my mental health for her. And our convos are 90% about her, 7% about random stuff, and 3% about me, and I STILL DONT HAVE A PROBLEM WITH IT because idgaf. Im honestly so unbothered I really don’t care, but right now I care because I feel that the text she sent me, and the way she wanted to paint me, and the words she used even though I’ve never ever had anything negative about her coming out of my mouth…I just feel like this is so unfair and I don’t know what to do. Should I end the friendship? Or maybe talk to her and try to make her understand? Im just so lost and this is honestly so sad because we’ve been friend for 12 years if not more. I don’t want it to end over something so silly…

Much love💜

Again I’m sorry for ranting, if you have advice I want to thank you for them. And I also want to thank you before hand for taking the time to read this. I admire u and ur stories!

I just have to add: she’s not a bad person, her good qualities overshadows the bad ones, which is why we’re still friends.

This message was sent a while back and I am sorry for responding only now. Maybe you were able to figure it out on your own or things happened after this. But all I can recommend for you to do is to talk to your friend, if you haven’t already. If I were you, I’d try to communicate and make her see where I am coming from as well and then… there’s nothing much you can do from there. You’ll see how she takes it and whether she’s able to see your side or not. Regardless of everything, she shouldn’t take you for granted and cut you some slack.

Like you said, you don’t want your friendship to end over something silly but maybe it’s not something silly at all. In the end, you don’t want friends who makes you feel guilty and take you for granted all the time. Just the fact your entire friendship seems to be focusing on her rather than on both of you says a lot. You shouldn’t be treated that way and you do deserve someone who equally cares about you as a person :)

[dearweirdme]

https://www.tumblr.com/dearweirdme/756052918840573952/company-content-mediaplay-fan-service-if?source=share

"Birthdays", "awkward", "Taennie", "imagination", "TAE", "liar, attention seeker". If these words do not leave your mouth or a jikooker's, you’ll have a stroke.

There. Fixed it for ya 😘

Also, literally no one here is having a stroke over any jikook video. Maybe anon you need to "get out of your imagination" . Y'all so desperately want us to feel something about those teasers and clips that you are willing to imagine that we are having strokes over them. It's a fckn entertainment show, not a "day in the life of an idol couple" vlog series. They went to those locations with a crew, those aren't clips from their private trips. Why tf would we feel anything bad about a travel show? We've seen multiple seasons of BV and ITS. We know the drill. The only difference this time is that instead of the seven of them, it's just two. That's it. It might be a huge deal for y'all, as it should be (would've been for me if it were taekook), but trust me, we really, really aren't bothered.

Btw, didn't jimin travel to the US for hobi? He shows up for all of them bcs that's who he is. He is a very caring friend. What you forgot to mention is, jimin himself said that he hadn't met jk on his bday last year, infact he met yoongi on his own bday eve, who brought a cake for him. Why do y'all always ignore all the other members in favour of proving your narratives? Jimin himself said he was only close to yoongi and hobi last year. As for jk's bday in '22, hobi, jin and jimin all went to wish him. Y'all really need to stop singling him out. Just like how jungkook only saw jimin and hobi. Similarly in solo era, jimin only met yoongi and hobi. Seems like y'all are trying to downplay his relationship with yoongi here.

"Jungkook said “speak to someone” and not himself because they couldn’t even sit down and have a heart to heart" 🤣🤣🤣🤣. Sure love. Believe this if this gives you happiness. Why tf would they want to have a heart to heart infront of cameras??? Or do y'all really believe that anything and everything that's shown on tv is real and unscripted?

"For all you know jennie was probably the reason he became a little bit happier. " Y'all really need to stop using taennie. Proving anything in regards to tae ain't doing shit for your ship. Why is your side hell bent on proving him straight and involved? What does it have anything to do with jikook? Someone does have something to do with jikook though, and she's been a bit quiet since dropping those bombshells. But you'll never see us even talking about her after that. Bcs we really don't care about jimin's dating life. But jikookers are weirdly interested in tae and his alleged relationships, going so far as to pair him with his wooga squad friends.

"You’ve turned these boys lives into a lie so that you could force a reality that isn’t true onto them" No love that's all on you and your fellow dummies. The people who believe that a queer couple will enlist together. The ones who refuse to believe that jk and tae are very close, closer than any other pair in BTS. The ones who've oversexualize jikook to the point of not even understanding the difference b/w reality and ff.

You have an entire series coming in less than a month and instead of being happy about it,here you are, picking up unnecessary fights. Are y'all ever satisfied with your ship? Does your ship even exist without mentioning taekook and tae?

Hi anon!

It's always the same things with them. Just like they have their chosen moments to proof Jkk (GCF Tokyo, RoseBowl, Hickey-gate, enlistment, coupledays... some weird number theories... you know the drill) they also have their chosen topics to disprove Tkk (Taennie, Get out of your imagination, ITS talk). I think a lot is about contesting with Tkkrs for them? Like.. the usual rebuttle to a Jkk debunk is to come with something about Tkk. As if Tkk being not real would make Jkk real suddenly.

I have seen the birthday talk so much it gets boring... and the thing is, it's always about Jm going to Jk's birthday and not the other way around (I am actually unaware of the times Jk spent Jm's birthday with him outside of when they were together because of band stuff... anyone know?). But Jk actually does not always spend Jm's birthday with him right? When they were in Busan it was clear they were with their respective families.. and not spending Jm's birthday with their families combined. So how does all of that hold?

I'm very tired of Jkkrs saying things like... you are turning Jkk into fanservice and reducing their relationship to only that. No we are not! Not around here anyways.. and I'm not going to be held responsible for whatever it is other Tkkrs are saying.

[golbrocklovely]

i'm really lost, can you explain the timeline of Colby going from ms singer to m? just super confused about it all hahah

of course anon, i would love to lol

i'm actually genuinely happy someone finally asked me something like this bc i've been seeing a lot of misinformation and i'm really tired of it.

i'm explaining everything, pictures and all. i'm blurring out ppl's names and sticking to the codes names i've given the girls involved. i get that you can find these names relatively easy, i'm just not gonna be the place for you to do so.

some of the things i'm gonna mention don't have physical proof, bc they were in a live stream or just stuff i didn't take ss of. but trust me everything i'm gonna say is real and not me making shit up.

so… let's start from the beginning.

the first major misconception that i've seen is that colby and ms singer got together back in march, dated until october/november, and then colby just haphazardly moved onto m. ppl say this bc they use the pic of them out that leaked and compare it to the pic of her wearing the same outfit in march on her insta.

now idk how this got lost in translation, but ppl are trying to say it's m in the pic??? it's not, but cool that you guys want to believe that lol

but again, this fandom is holding onto "oh well, her pic on insta is from march, so that means that a, this pic was taken in march, and b, they have been together since then". respectfully, did yall forget that ppl rewear clothes? just curious.

i also literally saw her, on her story, post the exact same outfit, but in november. so....

the pic of him and ms singer is not from march. it got post on tiktok in october.

and HERE is colby, at universal horror nights, which is where the photo was taken, meeting a fan.

now, this might not proof enough, bc he could have just been dating her secretly and this was the first time they were "caught" in public. but let's be forreal for two seconds. first off, in march, he was deciding whether or not to get chemo. and on top of that they were working nonstop to have backlog content in case of him getting chemo. neither one of them had gfs or time for gfs.

on top of all of this, i have more proof that they didn't start seeing each other until september. colby did not even follow her until sept 21ish. i know this bc i keep track of who he follows and when. yes, i know it's weird. idc. here's other ppl he followed at that time:

the black box is ms singer's name.

now, onto the stuff i don't have proof of - right as all this information was blowing up, ms singer started getting more viewers on her tiktok livestreams. one of the first ones she had after the above tiktok dropped, she was asked during her livestream what's the best date she was on and she said it was one that happened recently, most likely alluding to colby's (with sam in tow most likely with k/la girl).

the biggest proof of them all is that ms singer herself said in a livestream that she didn't meet colby until september. she outwardly said that. i have friends who heard her say that, not just anons that randomly tell me things. actual ppl i have convos with daily.

now, we have to move on to how he got with m. everything this point down will just be complete speculation on my part. the only proof i have is that colby did not start following m until the day after sam's bday. she was at the party after the marathon bc k brought her there (and k was also there obviously).

personally, what i believe happened was that ms singer was very heavy handed on the fact that she personally wants to get married and have kids soon even tho she's only 21. she said it multiple times on tiktok. idk why you want to rush into that type of stuff, but hey, you do you. that being said, most likely, while they both enjoyed their time together, colby is not exactly ready to settle down and have kids anytime soon. so he most likely backed off of ms singer.

after halloween, ms singer was no where to be found with colby. what i believe happened is since k/la girl and sam were already together, she decided to bring along m to sam's bday bash. m and colby clicked, and they spent all this time together.

now, when it comes to ms singer and k and m being in some weird little drama where ms singer feels slighted - first off, i have no clue about any of that for certain. ms singer continues to be vague, for good reason, and so it's hard to know what happened. if i was ms singer, i too would be a bit pissed if my friend brought some other girl to be around the guy i was into, just bc he wasn't into me. i'm not trying to say all of this isn't messy. it is to some degree, but i don't fully blame k. colby is a grown man. if he wanted to continue his friendship with ms singer after they "broke up", he would have. clearly, it just wasn't in the cards. or maybe he felt awkward being friends with her still after moving onto someone she knew/is somewhat friends with.

okay, i think that's everything. if there is anything else you need me to explain, feel free to ask. the only reason i really wanted to answer this kind of ask was bc i've heard some whispers via comments on tiktok and twitter and whatever else that some fans think or believe that sam cheated on kat with k just bc ms singer (who is good friends with k) and kat knew each other. bc they think the timing of everything is "suspicious".

first off, kat and sam broke up in march. ppl mistakeningly believe ms singer was in the picture around this time, which is why they think k/la girl is also in the picture. that's just factually not true. secondly, sam was literally fuckboying his ass up during the summer: he followed multiple asian girls (like almost 10) in julyish before during and after japan, danced and spent the night with that random girl that was on jc's stream during his party (while colby had fun with her friend, mind you), and then ppl speculated that he had a thing with niki going on too. that boy was having fun during this period prior to september, which is when he ACTUAL started seeing k/la girl. and third, if sam or kat cheated on one another, i'm 99% certain we would have known way before now. they literally explained in their break up video that nothing actually happened, sam just wasn't ready for marriage. not to mention, if he did cheat, YALL AIRING IT OUT IS NOT THE WAY TO DO IT. if they were hiding something like that from us, realistically it would be for good reason. it's not your business to share that intimate of details.

and before anyone gets on my ass about that comment, everything i'm sharing with yall is already public info. i'm not speculating, minus what happened between ms singer and la girl. but even bits of that have been told by ms singer herself so… don't come for me lol

[winderlylandchime]

I cannot believe that everyone can tell that my brother is dumb enough to actually think about making Randy his therapist. Even my neighbor when I told her went ‘oh he would totally be his client if he lived close by.’

Honestly I still can’t believe he is retiring. I’m very happy for him that he is doing something with his life that he believes will bring him joy and stability but fuck does it hurt a little. I think the trouble I’m having is because I’ve seen him on the show/interviews and now podcast so it’s very strange to imagine him being all serious and professional. Hopefully this doesn’t mean we will never see him again. But i hope he has a successful career and that he enjoys it while also helping people.

I feel like Gale probably has to do some normal-ish type of jobs but I feel like he would maybe go for theatre and either teach it or something to do with that. I mean i don’t even know what part of the country the guy lives in so I think that probably has a lot of say in what he’s doing with his career. I did tell my brother that IF anybody were to give us a proof of life for him it will probably be Robert for birthday posts.. Hopefully Robert gets my message from the universe and delivers us some proof of life.

And as for my brothers collection of purses: it’s not a very big collection, he only uses it for “special occasions” like two weeks ago when he went to a mechanic for his car or a doctor check up but i think he has like 5. Two of them i know are small sized black ones (enough only for a wallet/keys/phone) because he made me buy him one for his bday. And I know one of them is a screaming yellow color because ‘sometimes you need a pop of color’. But the reason he actually started using them was because 12-15ish years ago, his friends and him were going to Pride and none of them decided on an outfit that had pockets. So one day he was at a mall and he found a purse with a rainbow on it (i teased him that it was pride merch but he swears it was a sign from the universe) so he bought it for Pride so that him and his friends could put their wallets/keys inside. I wish i was joking when I say that the hetero himbos who went to pride just to accompany me, treated this accessory as if he was the biggest genius they ever met. My brother actually said to my mom ‘yooo why didn’t you tell me about this luxury? There’s so much space for stuff in here! I can even put snacks in here.’

As for the qaf dvds, one of our cousins actually does have them but he forgot about that and tbh I think she is waiting to tell him because she knows he would try to steal them. But I wouldn’t put it past him to actually succeed in finding them on ebay or something, he is stubborn enough.

The funny thing is, dear sweet anon, Randy would kind of be the perfect therapist for your brother since all his angst right now is about QAF and one of the few people with actual answers is Randy.

My biggest fear about Randy as a therapist is less than people have seen him naked and having very realistic simulated sex on Showtime and more that on the podcast he gave his opinions about pop culture and he's such a snob! I don't want my therapist to think less of me because I have brain rot for a TV show or I like a musical that's not (gasp!) Sondheim... and he totally gives that vibe on the pod.

I do think Gale lives in LA. Or at least that's what I last heard. Which means there's a million ways to make money that's entertainment industry adjacent.

I love that your brother and his hetero himbos accompanied you to Pride and brought a communal purse and then marveled at it. Without for a moment considering why their outfits didn't have pockets and why most women's clothing doesn't have pockets. And why purses are necessary at all. (TBH I carry a big mom bag because I have anxiety and what if I need... water, advil, a bandaid, a hairbrush, a protein bar, a change of clothes, etc while I'm out?)

I think the DVDs are definitely available on eBay! They might just cost an arm and a leg. Just typing that I feel like I'm dooming your brother to an accident involving his arm and/or leg. Tell him to be careful!

[catsafarithewriter]

Day 7: Sci Fi

A/N: and we have survived to the last day of the 2023 bday bash! It has been great to see all the amazing creations everyone has made, ya'll are so talented! This offering of mine is set in space, with Haru, Toto, and Muta as professional scavengers, and the fun realisation that a sci fi version of Baron would be a robot/android. Enjoy!

x

Haru's comm crackled as she delved deeper into the ship wreck, her space suit warm and clammy as she floated along yet another deserted corridor. Despite her best attempts otherwise, her helmet's visor was scratched and nicked, and it lent the abandoned ship a ghoulish air.

"Stick to your right," Toto warned from the cock pit. His voice was tinny over the cheap, second-hand radio, fuzzier still for the distance between them. "According to my sensors, the rooms to your left have lost all hull integrity."

"So, stay right unless I want to be sucked out into the vacuum of space, got it."

"It's no laughing matter," the pilot scolded. "If I had my way, you wouldn't even be that close to a compromised section."

Behind Haru, her cathar colleague – Muta – chortled. "If I had my way, I'd be chilling on my own private island and would never have to look at another salvage contract again, so I guess none of us are getting what we want today."

Haru swung herself to a halt by a door and began to dismantle the lock. "Speak for yourselves; all I want is a hot drink when we're done here."

"Then wish again, Chicky, 'cause the coffee machine is broken."

"Really? I just fixed it. Anyway," she added to Toto, "all the safer sections of the ship have already been raided. That's why they brought in us, the professionals."

"Professionals?" Muta snorted. "And here I was, thinking they'd hired us because we're the only team stupid enough to take the contract."

"If we're getting paid for it, we're professionals," Haru said.

"Then we're well-paid idiots."

"We're only well-paid idiots if we survive this," Toto reminded them over the comms. "You've got three hours of oxygen left in your tanks, and if you don't want to be cutting it fine enough to get oxygen deprivation again, I suggest you get a move on."

"Worry, worry, worry," Muta tssked. "Didn't you hear what the lady said? We're professionals."

"Then act like it."

Haru's tinkering yielded results as the door abruptly clicked open and revealled what looked to be a storage room beyond. "And... bingo. Is that professional enough for you, Toto?"

"Tell me what you've found, and I'll consider it."

"A big-ass room full of boxes," Muta answered. He floated inside. "Hey, if we empty these out, Chicky, we'll have ourselves a nice little moving company."

Haru rolled her eyes – making sure Muta could see it behind her visor – and floated after him, pushing herself gently from box to box. "I'll take the left side, you take the right?"

"Sure. Don't forget to scream if you see any ghosts."

"Only if you don't forget to scream for the spiders."

Over the radio, she could hear Muta grumbling. "That was one time."

"You spooked yourself so bad you nearly untethered yourself from the ship," Haru reminded him.

"It was a foot-long space spider!"

"And you're a six-foot tall cat," Toto retorted. "I think it was probably more scared of you than you were of it."

"You didn't see that monster's eyes. It was out for blood."

Haru floated further into the room, idly looking over the labels atop the boxes. It looked to be mostly crew personal effects and back-up equipment – nothing worth hauling back. "I thought space spiders only ate debris?" she called over the comms.

"Vampire space spider then."

Toto's laugh crackled on the radio. "What?"

"We've seen weirder on this job!"

Towards the back of the room, one of the boxes rose up above the others, about seven feet tall and three feet wide. It had no label, but a panel was built into the metal side. She rigged what Muta had affectionately termed the "doohickey" into the wiring and bypassed the permissions to jig the casing open.

Inside was the kind of thing Haru had only ever encountered in bad space soap operas. Her mouth went dry. "Muta?"

"–so space cowboys are one thing, but yer draw the line at vampires?"

"Muta."

"Yes, because one of those is a real thing, and the other is a fairytale–"

"Muta!"

Her shout glitched the radio, and a high-pitched whine brought the argument up short."

"Bast!" Muta yelped. "We can hear yer, Chicky!"

"We've got a body."

The comm went unusually silent. Then, "A body? Like, a live one or..."

"I don't know, Muta! It's in like a... tube. The glass is all fogged over, I can't..."

"I'm not picking up any life signals apart from you two," Toto said. There came the tinny echo of buttons being pressed. "Nothing."

"Could the box they're in be blocking your sensors?" Haru asked.

"I mean... maybe – it'd have to be a pretty reinforced box, but without seeing the box itself... I couldn't tell you. What do they look like?"

Haru peered through the window. All she could see was the face – ginger fur and triangular ears just about visible – but there was something... odd. "I dunno, I think they're a cathar? Maybe? They don't look quite right."

"Maybe?" Muta echoed. "You've worked with me for how long, and yer not sure?"

"How about you get over here and tell me I'm wrong?" Haru shot back.

"I'm coming, I'm coming. Geez, you'd think they'd stack these boxes better." Haru heard the sound of metal clattering against one another – echoed through Muta's radio – ans then a whistle as Muta saw the cause of Haru's distress. "Call the medics off," he said. "False alarm."

"They're dead?" Toto asked.

"Nah, jus' never alive to begin with." Muta caught Haru's raised eyebrow, helmet tilted so he couldn't miss her attitude even if he tried. "Alright, Chicky, you were right."

"Thank you."

"That's a cathar android.'

"No, it's not."

Muta snorted. "Who's the cathar here?"

"Who's the engineer?" Haru shot back. "I've seen cathar androids before – they're all chrome and shine. This," she said with a pointed jab, "has fur."

"Faux fur."

"My point still stands."

"Cathar androids are all chrome and shine now," Muta amended, "but when they first started out, they attempted a more realistic style."

"Glad to see your history degree is coming in use," Toto deadpanned.

"The last time I tried to give a history lesson, yer told me to shut it."

"The last time we had an epsilion gorignak on our tail," Toto said. "Is the android valuable?"

"Maybe to a collector. I mean, these things are, what, a century out of use? They were pretty simplistic – glorified cashiers, really; they actually became part of the push for workers' rights at a time when automation–"

"Is it worth lugging it back to the ship?"

Muta's scowl was almost audible. "See? I try to educate, and no one cares. See if I bother next time – Chicky, what are you doing?"

Haru looked up from where she was plugging the doohickey into the box's wiring. "I'm getting an inside look. Did you say these things had very basic programming?"

"Yeah – well, compared to today's tech. All they could do was take orders and throw out a handful of preprogrammed responses. More like a glorified toaster, really. Why?"

Haru scrolled through the doohickey's readouts. "Because, according to this, it's advanced."

"How advanced are we talking?" Toto asked.

"Uh, well let's just say that it's less of a glorified toaster, and more like it could make your toast from scratch, give a presentation on the history of bread, and then develop anxiety over how it buttered your toast." She opened a file, and gave a low whistle. "I mean, it's pretty terribly optimised, the code is all over the place, almost organic in its chaos but... it's complex. Ethical subroutines, memory storage... something that looks like a prototype emotion chip... Oh."

The glass panelling slid open.

"Oh?" Toto echoed. "Why 'oh'? Haru, what just happened?"

"It's fine. The door just opened." Now Haru could clearly see the ancient android, from the faux ginger fur, to the old-fashioned morning suit, to the uncanny physique which spoke of wiring and metal beneath. A name tag sat across the waistcoat, reading B-R0N.

"Geez, this must be almost one of the first wave of androids," Muta said. "B-class – back when they still differentiated the generations alphabetically." He leant over to Haru. "You think you can get it up and running?"

"Are you asking because you think it'll be worth anything," Toto asked dryly, "or because you want to interrogate it about the history of the last century?"

"It's unique. It's gotta be worth something to someone."

"Or some cheapskate upgraded an old model instead of paying out for a new one," Toto retorted.

"If it were a couple of years out of date, maybe," Haru interrupted, "but it'd take more effort than it'd be worth to upgrade one this old. This isn't just a transfer of a newer system – the old system has been organically reworked to fit the original host. It'd be like, I don't know, trying to fit your ship system into a calculator. It'd overload it in seconds." Her fingers twitched. "We've got to bring it onboard."

"I'm feeling distinctly ganged up upon," Toto deadpanned. He sighed in such a way to make it quite clear he was rolling his eyes. "Fine. Fine, if the two of you can haul that pile of junk back to the ship, then be my guests."

"Aw, bless your bleeding heart."

"Just for that, I'm giving you last pick of tonight's puddings, furball."

Haru clicked through the programming, noting with reckless curiosity, that some of it seemed integrated into tghe remains of the wreck's computer. Deciding not to tell Toto this, just in case it changed his mind, Haru took matters into her own hands and separated the android's programming from the ship's.

"What did yer do, Chicky?"

Haru started, guiltily. "Nothing, I just... oh."

The android's eyes were an electric green, flecked with a light which streaked along the artificial irises. They whirred gently.

"Welcome to the Cat Bureau Teashop," the android said. Its voice was clipped. Old-fashioned. "Do you want lemon or honey in your tea?"

Muta snorted. "Advanced, did ya say?"

"It's literally just been turned back on after who knows how long," Haru retorted. "Give it a chance to reconfigure itself. It's probably reverted back to factory settings or someth–"

Haru froze as the android's eyes blinked rapidly, the whirring accelerating with alarm speed.

"No." The android's head clicked from side to side, almost clocklike in nature. "No. No, no, no–"

An overheating warning flashed on Haru's readouts.

This, she supposed, was why the cathars had scrapped the faux fur design.

"Turn it off, Chicky!"

"I'm trying, I'm trying! But it's – oh!" Haru dropped her doohickey as if burned. "It's locked me out," she exclaimed indignantly.

"Should it be able to do that?" Toto asked.

"No!"

Suddenly, the android fell silent.

Which was almost as unnerving.

The whirring quietened, and when its blinking stopped, Haru was almost sure it was focusing on them. The pupils dilated and constricted, before settling on an acceptable size.

Haru offered it a weak grin. "Hello."

"Danger."

"No, um – it's okay. You're okay."

"Danger."

Muta leant over to Haru. "Explanation, Chicky?"

Haru could only shrug, as if her heart wasn't threatening to burst from her chest. "At a guess? Maybe, if it was activated when the ship was destroyed, it's reliving those moments..."

"Danger."

"Yes, thank you. Anyway, maybe it still thinks the ship is under threat–"

The android's hand snapped around her wrist. It didn't hurt, but there could be no doubt of the bone-breaking strength inherent in the hold. Muta inhaled sharply, and Haru glanced to see his arm also caught in a similar grip.

"Danger," the android said again.

And that was when the far wall blew up.

[bookishjules]

Here I am again ....the one with the Simon in the wild bestie

Hehe it's so sweet of you to invite me over for tea 😄

So yeah for the Morgenstern essay I still haven't typed it out ...but it's basically like Clary (protagonist) and Sebastian (antagonist) both were Morgensterns. It's a tainted name in the shadowhunters community right? So my point is something isn't always inherently bad ...it's the circumstances or the fate (or the plot 😗) which makes them bad. Now for Jonathan/ Sebastian bro had been going through torture for all his life as the demon blood burns shadowhunters. He was Raised to be a weapon unlike Jace who was atleast taught other stuff. Upbringing matters a lot in shaping those characters, shaping their powers. Like for comparison if you look at Jace when he was a Wayland...when he was a Morgenstern....when he is a herondale... there's a slight difference in the way he's written or the way he fights ... he's still the same Jace but there's this minute difference you'd notice. So basically the background you're Given also matters a lot ...which happened with Sebastian. If he was given a non-Valentine life/ background....if his blood wasn't infused...if he was brought up in a normal way he'd have definitely led a better life As a Morgenstern and wouldn't have been the one manipulated into being the villian .... maybe he'd have still turned out to be a antagonist who knows. But atleast throughout his life he'd have felt light the way he felt while dying. Maybe clary's fate would've changed if they grew up as siblings who knows. The Morgensterns we've seen till now are all fucked in the head fr. Like even Clary could've gotten her villian arc easily...the clave anyways did not trust her as she was a Morgenstern.

To sum it up ....I feel Morgensterns have a dominant dark side n would be the bad guy ...but you always get a choice to choose your path even if you're blinded by the fate

(I hope my word vomit made sense....I mean these were basically facts which already existed I just typed out my thought process)

Oh for the guy thing ... nothing romantic is going on in plain sight but there gave been moments... really sweet ones. Oh btw last week I sent him the thing I wrote which said 'i want to be written about ' .....as my bday gift guy wrote for me ..which made my day

Anyways I hope you're doing okayyy ヾ⁠(⁠･⁠ω⁠･⁠*⁠)⁠ﾉヾ⁠(⁠･⁠ω⁠･⁠*⁠)⁠ﾉ

The nature of last names in the shadowhunters world is such a compelling one, and you're right, it's absolutely something of a metaphor for choosing who you become, who you are. Even during ascension, there's a certain amount of this. You pick a name that you want to be like. You don't pick a name like Morgenstern.

Except... There's also an amount of reclamation when it comes to last names. Gabriel and Gideon worked hard to make the Lightwood name mean something good again after their father tainted it, and I think a large part of their ability to do that comes from Tatiana denouncing the Lightwood name at the same time.

A name doesn't dictate personality, of course, but it does have a certain sway in how you are treated by other shadowhunters, which of course, informs the way you act. It's a whole thing in developmental psychology; natural/genetic temperaments garner certain reactions, which then controls how a child is parented etc., which then has a hand in which other personality traits etc. come to the surface. I think this is very similar to how shadowhunters are raised according to their last name, and how, so often we see a change of name being an indicator of a change of self--because it can be difficult to change when you are still being perceived a certain way.

As for where this leaves us with the Morgensterns... Green-eyed Jonathan is often associated with the last name Fairchild, and I think the reason why is clear. There's an amount of hope there, for a person who never got to be a person--that he would turn out to be better than the man who raised him. And if he had been raised a Morgenstern, even without the demon blood, I do think it would have been more likely for him to become an antagonist, than if he had been raised a Fairchild, simply because one name has a much more negative connotation than the other--especially in the time that Jonathan was being raised. People would have treated him differently as a Morgenstern than they would a Fairchild.

If we're following the logic that somehow Valentine was not a presence in his childhood, this would all have to circle back to Jocelyn, and her decision whether to keep her husband's name or not. I do think there could be scenarios where she did, but I would be more inclined to believe that she would at the very least return to being Jocelyn Fairchild and raise her son with the same name. No, this wouldn't make him immune to the reactions of other shadowhunters, but I do think the choice to step away from the tainted name would be recognized and acknowledged in a positive way. We see a little bit of the opposite happen with Clary, iirc, when she takes up Heosphoros, but she was already at a point, then, when she was ready to treat Morgenstern in a similar way to how Gideon and Gabriel would have treated Lightwood after the events of TID.

It would be so interesting to see how such reclamation would have played out if Clary and Jonathan had been raised as siblings. Would Clary see the way her brother was treated for a name he didn't even use and get angry for him? Would Jonathan work hard to be a good example for his sister, a good steward of the family he was born into? Or would it be something of the opposite? Or would they ever even try to reclaim that name? No Valentine means no "Sebastian" means no continued conversation surrounding the name Morgenstern...

I guess what I'm saying is that maybe there is an inheritable darkness in the Morgensterns, but I think it's possible that the name does as much, if not more, than the genes themselves. Morgensterns have been the bad guys, so they will be painted as such, and future Morgensterns will then have an inclination to fill the shoes and be the bad guys.

Sorry for such a long response!! That essay of sorts really sent some gears spinning I guess lol thank you for sharing!!! (Also happy belated birthday!!!!!! <33)

[nicistrying]

Sunday 23rd April

It's been a reeally busy weekend. Worked 7am - 4pm Saturday and had such a shitty shift. I was just so angry all day bc everyone had been so lazy, I'd had 2 days off and came back to everything exactly as I'd left it i.e. not been cleared and inventory checked which I specifically said needed done in my handover on Wednesday. So I had to pick up where I left off 2 days late, and tidy up everyone else's ridiculous mess they'd left me. It drives me insane. Then drove straight to my sister's for my nephew's bday party and was there until 9. My niece asked if she could come stay at our house as the boys were going out today so I brought her home with me. Today we just chilled watching movies this morning and then I took her ice skating this afternoon which was great fun! Was such a nice way to get my steps for the day too! Matt made us a lovely roast dinner and I took my niece home this evening and had an hour in their hot tub which was just lovely. So it's been a lovely couple of days! In other news, Maggie had her spay on Friday so she's out of action and she's not happy about it at all. She just lies on the floor and cries in between trying to get around the house and bonking into everything with her cone. Poor girl

[flowered-mp3]

u guys.... i just cried in my bf's car yesterday (again!) lol pls skip this but i know some of y'all invested and i just need an outlet so......

so like... my bf raised an interesting question weeks ago, essentially asking me "how do u know if ur in love?". i was a little caught off guard at the time, but i answered that i wasn't sure, because i've never been in love. then, i asked him the same question and he thought that he might've loved one of his exes, but he wasn't entirely sure, either.

then, flash forward to last week, when he called me at night (like he normally does). usually he tends to get in his feelings at that time, and started to ask if i thought that our relationship was moving too fast. and to be fair, it was moving fast but i never felt uncomfortable with it? it never felt wrong. we 100% progressed faster than most couples but it never felt wrong. we just did whatever we felt comfortable with. he also told me that this is the fastest that he's ever fallen for someone, and the fastest that he's ever had a gf meet his family/go on staycation/be physical, etc. so, he was afraid that because he's so into me, he would miss any signs of potential points of conflict. and the reason why this was bugging him was because he doesn't want to lose me. there were times in his previous relationships where he ignored those issues because he was so enamoured initially, and obv those relationships ended. the idea of losing me terrifies him, and vice versa for me.

next, i asked what brought this on and he stayed silent for a while before saying that on the last day of our staycation, he wanted to say that he loved me. i was so shook over the phone that i started crying. idk why i just couldn't believe my ears.

but then, he backtracked again because he was also scared because he also wasn't sure if what he was feeling was love - similar to me. he also mentioned that a couple of days before our staycation he statted asking around "how do you know that you're in love" and the only person online was his ex (she wasn't a great gf to him and kinda toxic, they dated 3 to 4 years ago, but she recently reappeared in his life to apologize for what she did to him. honestly? good for her, and i hope that she's happy with her new bf) so that kinda made me :/ but it's ok because it worked out lol just wait. anyways, we essentially talked it out and i said that there's no pressure for him to figure it out. feelings are complicated.

so i also said that i didn't think that i was ready to say that i loved him yet. and he was so sweet about it, saying that he would wait however long that i needed :')

ok so flash forward to the present. i was thinking alot over the past week and i was just kinda realizing that wow. i really like him. but saying that i really like him isn't really cutting it anymore. and when i went to his house for a bday party for his uncle tonight, i kinda just realized that fuck. i fell in love with him, and i didn't even fully recognize it. just looking at him the whole night, seeing how much he cares for his family, how loud his laugh is when someone says something really funny, the way that he holds my hand or traces his fingers on my knee absentmindedly, the way that he remembers that i'm introverted so he always tries to look for signs of my social battery running out. i knew that i would do anything for him, but it didn't really hit me until that moment.

i just realized that i wanted this for our future. for us to have a house together, to invite family over. to host something like this, except that i would be the person scrambling to cook and he would be taking out the alcohol for people to choose from.

so when he was driving me home, all the emotions came rushing through me. we were at a light and he stopped at it, glancing at me (as he usually does). all it took was for me to look at his face for me to be close to tears.

he immediately asked me what was wrong, and i said nothing. it was really late and it's a long drive, so i didn't want to inconvenience him. but then, he turned into a gas station 2 mins after and looked at me like "what's wrong, baby?" and i just. started tearing up. he started to comfort me, thinking that something made me upset or mad but instead, i looked at him, took a few deep breaths to gather the courage, and kissed him. i pulled away just enough to look into his eyes, and i said "i love you, too" with tears in my eyes.

i still remember the way that his eyes widened before i wrapped my arms around his neck and hugged him, basically sobbing that i loved him. i was rambling at that point, being like “idk why i’m crying i’m not upset i’m so happy but idk i’m really emotional idk why i’m crying”. and then he asked me how i knew and i said that i didn’t really know, it just felt like something that i wanted to say. i just started spilling my heart out to him, saying that he makes me the happiest girl in the world, and that sometimes i care for him more than i care for myself, and how i want him to succeed in life and that i saw how he treats his family with such care and just???? i could tell that he was tearing up and i could just cry typing this out again.

then, he pulled out his phone and i was confused for a second, but then he started to pull up the convo he had with his ex - i really didn’t have anything to worry about. all he did was ask “how do u know if ur in love” and essentially just talked about me the entire time, saying that how much he liked me and how he didn’t know how to navigate all this because he’s never fallen so fast and hard for someone and that he thinks that i’m his last, that i’m the one. my heart :’)

then, all the details are a blur after that except for some. like i remember i was just rambling about my feelings and crying so i just pressed my forehead against his and tried to take a breath. but then, he said that he loved me too and his voice was cracking. once i heard those words come from him i immediately fell apart. he tucked his head into my neck and we hugged and cried. he pulled away just to look at me, and said that i was smart and beautiful and caring, and he loves that i love my family, that we laugh at the same stupid shit and that he imagines a future with us.

then, everything just made sense. all the times where he would hug me and pull away to look at me in the eyes, saying “i really like you.”, or when i said that i’ve always dreamed of having my own reading room with shelves of books that reached the ceiling (i told him this when we weren’t even dating), he remembered that and said “i really have to work harder on this program, this project will be a good asset on my resume when i’m applying for work after graduation. gotta afford a reading room, you know?” :’) or when he asked me how many years of dating would it take for me to think that it’s appropriate to get married, or when he said that he planned to date me for a very long time, or when he said that i make him want to be a better man.

then, in the midst of us crying, i said that i also think that he’s the one and he pulled me in for another kiss, hugged me, and we both just broke down and started to full on sob. i’m talking smiling and laughing and talking while crying, tears streaming down my face, saying that i think that he’s smart and kind and spontaneous and funny, and how i know that he can argue with his dad and sister but i know that he loves them, and that he loves his family very much. and how he’s always so in tune to my feelings that i don’t even notice. we were just sobbing in his car and hugging and kissing and saying that we loved eachother in the middle of a fucking gas station at 10:30 pm.

eventually when we calmed down, he started to drive again and i asked him how he knew. he couldn’t really pinpoint much either but he had some things. he said that he would remember the smallest details about me, like my mannerisms and such. the little random dances that i did when walking to his car when he picks me up, or when i wanted to show him something in the backyard and i reached for his hand. then, he said something so domestic and romantic that i just melted. on the last night of our staycation, he had sudden inspiration for his program and needed to do some quick research before bed. it was pretty late, 1 am it think, so i told him to come to bed soon. so, i decided to read a book until he was ready to sleep. 

so, he told me that he looked at me on the bed, book in hand, glasses on, reading light on, and found so much comfort in it. we didn’t exchange any words, but he realized that he wanted that. for us to share a bed in a place that we have together. he wants that comfy future, and he wants it with me and adlkfjd :’)

i also asked how long he was waiting to say it, and he didn’t give me a specific timeline he just said that he watched a podcast where they were like “when is it ok to say i love you” and one girl said 3-4 months lol so he wanted to wait 3-4 months but couldn’t lol. which is ok, because i couldn’t wait 3-4 months either. essentially, we couldn’t really pinpoint how we knew, we just kinda knew? 

so, he dropped me off home and said that he loved eachother before leaving. then, when he got home he texted me “have a good night, my love” and i want to SCREAM like THIS MAN IS NOT REAL alsdkfjdlk

anyways this is lovely. my feelings are all aldsfkjasdlkfjdafj but my bf loves me and i love him and there’s a mx comeback tomorrow. overall, it’s looking ok u guys :)

and to think that all this started with my friend forcing me to get a dating app :’)