#and of course it didn't show up in the tag

[nsharks]

bleeding blue | apocalypse au

part twenty-two —other parts

pairing: Simon “Ghost” Riley x fem!reader words: 5.2k tags: death. blood. cannibalism mention. zombies of course. AFAB reader. single dad ghost. there will be sex but it isn’t here yet. slow burn!!! enemies to lovers. summary: After losing your companions, you run into a skull-masked man and his daughter. They are your last hope for survival. a/n: I'm sorry lmaooo nine months... hopefully we can finish this thing!

B

"Hold him close to your chest, or he'll jump out of your arms. Here—like this."

Blue gently cradles the rabbit, then carefully tucks him into Ari's arms, guiding his hands to scoop under Grim's fluffy rear. She can't help but find it amusing that the boy who had taken her riding on such a large animal yesterday looks so wary holding a harmless bunny. A giggle bubbles up, and she bites her lip to keep it in.

"He's so... squirmy."

Blue keeps her hand on Grim, reassuring both the rabbit and him. "He's just ready for his breakfast. Want to help me feed him?"

"Sure."

Blue leads Ari to the hutch where the other rabbits are. She explains her morning routine, showing him how to supply the rabbits with enough grass, leaves, and berries to keep them healthy and plump. Not long ago, she was explaining this to Twix—the very person she forgot to say good morning to in a rush to find Ari outside. This time around, she wonders if Ari is genuinely interested or just being polite. She finds herself stealing glances at his face, studying his expressions perhaps longer than she should. His almond-shaped eyes and dark pink lips catch her attention.

He's cute.

It's not the first time the thought has crossed her mind since these strangers appeared. Cute like the men in her magazines, though he's not quite a man. Not in the way Ghost is. But he's taller than her by a head and two years older, evident in the notch on his throat and the deeper timbre of his voice.

But it doesn't matter. They are only here for a few days.

Blue closes the hutch and rocks on the soles of her boots. "Well, that was probably boring, huh? We could, um, go hunting if you want. Or to the pond. It's fun to swim there. Or maybe—" She pauses, mentally sifting through the limited activities available, frustration creeping in as none of them seem particularly impressive.

"This wasn't boring. Now I know rabbits are just as friendly as horses." He smiles.

"They are... except when Grim gets mad. Then he can be a bit of a jerk. Like if you accidentally step on his tail."

"I'd be pretty pissed if someone stepped on my tail, too."

"You don't have a tail."

"It's just a joke."

"Oh..." she fidgets with a strand of hair. "Right."

"The pond sounds good. It is fucking hot." Ari blows out a breath and swipes at the back of his neck.

"I know. So hot. Hot as balls."

Ari raises an amused brow. "Yeah, uh, hot as balls. Are you allowed to go by yourself, or do we need to ask your dad?"

"I get to do what I want," she lies easily with a shrug. "Buuuuut, we can ask Twix to go with us."

As long as Twix is with her, she suspects she can get away with not asking Ghost, who luckily is hunting with his old captain. It's not that he seems distrusting with these people as he did those first few months with Twix. Rather—she isn't thrilled about him knowing every little thing she does. She's never had anything just to herself. 

Twix is sitting on the porch, looking rather deep in thought as she skins a squirrel. Her hair is long, curtaining her face. When Blue asks if she wants to go to the pond, she agrees easily, claiming she has been meaning to cut her hair anyway with the encroaching warmth of summer. Nereida joins, too. 

Even early, the air is sticky, and the pond is cool and inviting. Ari rips his shirt off and jumps in without even a second to waste. Blue usually swims in her underwear and shirt, but she hesitates with her thumb in the belt loops of her jeans. She didn't consider that he would see her in her underwear. 

A soft touch to her shoulder. It's Twix. "Want me to grab you shorts real quick?"

"Um... yes. Yes please."

She changes into the shorts behind a tree. There is an odd pit in her stomach when she gets in the water. She doesn't quite know what it is, but it's similar to how she feels when she's scared sometimes. Ghost always tells her fear is a useless thing. It doesn't keep you alive. So she ignores it, shoves it down deep, and swims over to Ari with a purposeful splash that even wets Twix, who sits at the edge sharpening her knife.

"Damn. That's gonna cost you."

A splash is given in return, and then they are playing. High noon bounces shimmering light off the water as she tries to keep up with him, but at one point he sneaks up on her and she ends up with a mouthful. Nereida spends her time picking at some bunches of rosemary and Twix cuts her hair. But Blue doesn't notice any of that too much. When the water stills and they pause to catch their breath, Ari climbs onto a rock and shakes out his wet hair. She is quick to find a perch beside him. Absentmindedly, she pinches the bottom of her wet shirt to keep it from sticking to her chest.

"It's nice to have some place to swim so close by. Back at our old camp, there was lake but it was a few miles away, so my mom rarely let me go."

"I'm sorry, you know. About your mom. Mine is dead, too."

He half-smiles. "Thanks. I don't think about it too much anymore. My uncle and I have always been close so it helped to have him there." He nudges her shoulder. "You're damn lucky to have such a cool dad, huh?"

"Ghost?"

"Yeah, that guy is a beast. My uncle says they called him Ghost because no one could ever see him coming before suddenly, they were dead." 

"Oh, yeah, he is super cool," she quickly agrees. "He has taught me a lot."

"Shit, really?"

Nibbling the inside of her cheek, she shrugs to feign indifference. "I know how to throw knives pretty well."

"I gotta see that." His smirk etches a light dimple into his cheek. Then, his eyes flash behind her. "So what's up with his girlfriend?"

"Huh?" A divot forms between her brows before she follows his gaze, landing on Twix, whose hair is now just past her shoulders. She is wetting it, running her fingers through the newly cut strands. "Oh—Twix. That is not his girlfriend. She is my friend."

"You mean they don't sleep together?"

"Like in the same bed?"

"That's usually where people fuck, yeah."

He seems ready to laugh. She frowns, head tilting as confusion hums in her chest. "You mean like sex?"

He nods. "You know what that is, right?"

"Yeah, of course. I know all about it."

"You know they're probably doing it, right?"

"Ghost and Twix? No—no," she forces a laugh. "I mean, sometimes I catch him staring at her all weird. But I don't think—I mean, they hardly like each other and she is my friend, really, not his. He used to make me stay away from her, even. But I mean, they do spend a lot of time together now. It's usually to practice fighting and defense. Not to have...sex."

"Don't they share a room?"

"Just right now, because you guys are here."

Ari chuckles. "You really think they aren't fucking in there? She's really pretty. There's no way they aren't."

Blue looks back at Twix. Blue's fingers curl into the soaked fabric of her top. Her eyes flick back to him. "She would've told me if they were."

"If you say so."

---

T

Your thumb throbs in rhythm with the steady pump of Kyle's arms. Despite pressing it into your palm to dull the pain, the ache persists. You had nicked it while sawing off your hair, and now the taste of blood lingers in your mouth. You were still lapping at the painful pulse when the three men arrived to the pond, carrying a neon orange inflatable raft. They want to test it out on the water before embarking on the 35-kilometer journey across the channel. 

It is the third day of their presence and you can honestly say you've grown more comfortable, given that Kyle has gone hunting with you a few times now. He is easy to talk to, along with Nereida. Price—however—doesn't seem intrigued by you, or maybe you are insignificant in comparison to the rest that is on his mind. That's fair. You don't all need to be friends.

They've been spending most of their time gathering food. Ghost has been helping Price hunt deer to skin and dry into jerky they can take with them. Nereida showed you a patch of wild strawberries she found yesterday, boiling them down into jams before canning them. By having food with them, they will save time from having to hunt along the way. In perfect conditions, it would be a straight path, and they could make it to the Swiss mountains within a month or two. But it won't be a straight path, and obstacles are bound to hinder them.

Kyle audibly growls and straightens, wiping at his percolated brow. "This chamber just isn't inflating."

"It must have a hole somewhere. Check the seams," Price says.

Ghost flips the half-filled raft over with ease, running his fingers along the PVC. "Here." He taps what must be a minuscule puncture because you can't see it from where you sit. 

They patch it up with the little adhesive they have. The unease is noticeable as Kyle keeps pumping in air; they only have enough to cover a few holes, if they come across more. Finally, the six-person raft is full and they toss it onto the pond. Just the sight gets you thinking of all the variables they have to think of on the open water: the weather, currents, temperature. You had a friend in high school who swam across it once. She didn't get even halfway but having to pulled out, vomiting, and near-hypothermia. Open seawater is different than a pool. Unpredictable and quick to change.

"It seems sturdy." Nereida winds an arm around her husband's waist, pressing a chaste kiss to the underside of his jaw. "Don't worry about it."

"As long as it stays sturdy."

"It will," she assures him.

The cut has crusted over by the time evening settles and you have to will yourself not to pick at it. You find yourself alone with the horse, watching the sun set behind the trees, as everyone else eats. 

"You probably don't like being tied up here, huh? You'd rather be running around." The coarse mane engrosses your fingers. Cherry bobs her head and a wet muzzle brushes your elbow. It tickles and you smile softly. "I wonder what will happen to you once they leave," you whisper. "Horses can't fit in a raft, huh?"

"No, they can't."

A hand presses into her neck beside yours, the person's arm extending over your shoulder. You crane your neck at Kyle but his eyes are on the animal, thoughtful, brows lowered. You wet your lips and step to the side to bring more space between your bodies. 

"Not hungry either?" you ask.

Finally he looks at you, lips quirked at the side. "Nah. I had a big lunch." He stops petting her and crosses his arms, chin tilting. "Ever ridden a horse before?"

"Once or twice. As a kid."

His eyes almost lean dark green in the cast of orange light, but it must be a mere illusion. "Care to go for a ride?"

His eyebrow rises expectantly. You glance back at the cabin and then at Cherry. "Why not?"

He instructs you how to get on. You grip the knob of the saddle and flex your core, hoisting yourself with more strength than you've had to use in a few days. Kyle sits behind you and grips the reins after untying her. The last time you were on a horse was for a friend's birthday party; you trekked through a ranch on a white pony. Cherry is much taller than that one was, or maybe you're not fond of being so high up. You thread your fingers through her mane.

It is a silent ride at first as you try to ignore the sting on your butt, unused to firm leather seat. The height reminds you of the week you spent up in the branches. He must notice your discomfort because he tells you to relax and lean back. You do, until your spine brushes against his chest. It helps a little.

Cherry trots calmly through the trees, towards the circle of stumps that marks the east. 

"Do you think she will be able to take care of herself?" you break the quiet. 

"I'm sure she will be fine. Smart girl, huh, Cherry?"

The sun has disappeared but it isn't quite dark yet. "Are you scared?"

A breathy chuckle emits from behind you. He must realize what you are referring to—scared for the journey. "Yeah, always. I mean—I'm scared about Ari. He's the last family I got, and as old as he thinks he is, he's still young and naive. I still have to make choices for him."

"I was terrified of losing Joseph," you admit, and swallow. "He was so young and fragile. It felt like...like trying to keep an egg from cracking when your hands are made of stone. But at least I never had to take him to another country."

"That was your nephew? Joseph?"

You nod. 

"Tell me about him."

You rack your brain. "Well, he was seven. And he..." You smile to yourself. "He was the pickiest eater in the world, even when we were all starving. I could not get him to eat meat unless I practically burned it. And he liked to look at bugs. I did, too, when I was young. I used to dig up worms when it rained to show him." He hums a gentle laugh behind you. You find yourself lost in the thought of it for a second. "Sometimes I...I think about how once I die, there will be no one left to remember those little things about him. Then, he will be completely gone, you know?"

You don't know why you're telling him this. You shake your head. "Sorry."

"Don't be. We gotta talk about shit like that or else we'll go crazy."

"I'm pretty sure I'm already crazy."

"Probably." A deer passes to the left and Cherry startles, but he is quick to soothe her with a flick of the reins and a stern—easy. She settles. "Are you scared?" he asks after a moment.

"Of what?"

"Of traveling so far."

"Well, I don't know if Ghost..." you trail off, absorbing the tone of his voice. You stiffen. "Wait, what do you mean?"

"I mean how we're all leaving in a month."

"Wait—stop." You grip his hand over the rein with more force than necessary, urging him to bring Cherry to a halt. You twist your spine and gape at him. "What are you talking about?"

He eyes you with a frown, and rubs his neck. "Shit. I thought he already told you."

"No, he didn't. Tell me," you demand.

He clears his throat. "He, uh, agreed to come this morning, but only if we take another month to prepare and shit. Get his daughter ready, sort things out."

You try not tremble in anger as his words sink in, clenching your hands as your breath picks up. "Take me back," you breathe out, brain racing. "I want to go back now."

The ride back is silent. You feel shaken. Your nail digs deep into the nick on your thumb unthinkingly until there is a smear of blood over your fingers. The others are getting ready for bed when the two of you return, moon bright. You bite your tongue until Ghost leaves to his room, then you follow him, closing the door as gently as you can behind you.

He is halfway through peeling off his socks and stuffing them in his boots when you approach. "What happened to being a man of your word?" 

He looks up, resting his palms on his parted knees, looking far too relaxed for your liking. 

When he doesn't respond, you add, "You were supposed to tell me. You said you fucking would."

Your voice is low but harsh.

He stands, a calm understanding washing through his eyes. "I was about to tell you."

You throw up your arms but try to stay quiet. "Bullshit. You're just saying that now. You've had all day to tell me."

"I was waiting for the right time."

"You think I can't handle it," you accuse, an ugly snarl on your face. "That I don't deserve to be apart of these conversations even after everything I have done for you, and for her. I saved her life! You get pissed at me for not telling you about stupid things, meanwhile you don't communicate something so important like we are leaving with them in a month to fucking Switzerland. Does Blue know? Or do you keep your own blood in the dark, too?"

He growls quietly and takes hold of your chin, tilting your gaze to his. His touch is firm but far from bruising. "I am not lying to you. I wanted to have a conversation right now, where it could just be us. And no—I haven't told her. How I explain this to my child is not your concern." There is a command in his voice that forces you to calm down some, but your breath is still warm through your nose. He moves his hand to gently thumb a strand of shortened hair off your forehead, staring at it for a second, before gripping your chin again. "There is nothing I think you cannot handle. Now, who told you about this?"

Blotches of red crawl over your cheeks. "It doesn't...it doesn't matter."

He is visibly unsatisfied. He taps his thumb against your chin. "Tell me."

"It was...Kyle," you concede in an exhale. "He assumed I already knew."

His eyes darken. "It wasn't his place to assume."

"He didn't mean to." You reach up to pry his hand off, and he relents, leaving your jaw feeling sore. You rub it. "Why a month?" You try to change the topic.

He takes a deep, steadying breath and looks away, jaw flexing. "She needs time. I want to prepare her for all possible outcomes. I still don't think she is ready, but that doesn't matter. There won't be another opportunity like this in the future. I have to make her ready." He sits down on the edge of the bed and sits his elbows on his thighs, collecting his thoughts before adding, "And the weather is a big factor. Just because we have means to get across the water doesn't mean it will happen safely. The current is most predictable in July and August. We will wait until then."

You mentally sort through everything he is saying, willing yourself not to linger on the fact that you are beyond scared. Scared to leave the place you have finally felt safe in. Scared to clearly be the odd one out again. A tag-along. Everyone else in this group has a loved one looking out for them. You have yourself. You don't know if you have Ghost, really—not when Blue is the one he loves. His allegiance can only go so far.

"Okay," you whisper, more to yourself than to him. "A month, then. What about shelter? The nights will be our most vulnerable."

"We'll look for the safest places for the night. There'd be seven of us, so plenty of eyes to keep watch."

"And what if we run into a horde?"

"Well, we have plenty of ammo now for that." He flicks his eyes up to yours. "Thanks to you."

You nibble your cheek, palming your chest as if to calm your heart. 

"A month," he reminds you. "We will account for everything."

"Okay," you say again, tongue on your teeth. There is a tinge of embarrassment over your outburst, but he doesn't seem fazed, as if you hadn't just barged in the room yelling at him. "Okay."

A click of his tongue. "Any more questions?"

"Not...not for now, I guess."

A few silent beats pass. The tension has left the room, leaving you with a wave of fatigue. Ghost must notice because he rises, gesturing to the bed. "Go on, then." 

The bed is yours again. You don't have it in you to question it, not when you would rather sleep than continue ruminating. You slip in under the quilt and tuck your knees in a fetal position, scooting to the side beneath the slanted ceiling planks. It is best to enjoy the comfort of a warm bed before you are back on the move again. One week of journeying through the woods was easily the worst you'd ever been through. You'd barely survived even that. Now it'll be months, or however long it takes to get to the goddamn Swiss mountains.

The light flicks off. There is a groan in the mattress and heady warmth spills over you. Your eyes fly open. "What are you doing?"

"Getting some sleep."

You turn around to see him lying beside you, flat on his back, with his arms crossed behind his head. "Together?"

"Clearly neither of us fancies the floor."

You flush, feeling his firm thigh brush against yours. "Just... keep to your side."

One eye pops open, the white of it flicking down at you. "I'll be a gentleman, if you're worried."

"I'm not," you mumble. "How do you even sleep in that thing, by the way?"

"Like a baby."

"Don't you think it's weird that Kyle has seen you without it and I haven't?"

There is an imperceptible rigidity beside you, before it smoothes over. "Jealousy doesn't suit you, Twix."

"And mental sanity doesn't suit you, Simon."

"Don't recall giving you permission to use that name."

"What, only your old captain gets to use it? How close were the two of you, exactly?"

Teasing him feels better than you're willing to admit. Better than thinking about what is ahead.

He grunts. A pillow is thrashed against the side of your face. "Go to sleep."

"Yes, sir," you bite into the pillow.

Your instinct is to flinch closer to the edge, though it is difficult given the small size of the bed and the unnatural size of him. Your knees float off the mattress. Still, his sprawled-out position leaves points of connection. The bastard. Your back, his elbow. Your feet, his calf. Small touches that do a surprisingly good job at soothing the mess in your brain.

---

You awake. Warm and rested.

Safe.

Morning light streams in through the small window, turning the backs of your eyelids red. Your face twists, nudging your nose forward until the tip of it brushes against something equally soft and hard; fabric. A shirt, you realize, as awareness settles in slowly. Your toes stretch and brush against another set of toes. Where you'd fallen asleep facing the wall, you are now turned around, your body curled close against another. 

He is still on his back, but his right arm is slung across your waist, fingertips unthinkingly resting at your exposed hip. Your breath hitches and you do your best not to flinch as you open your eyes, realizing just how close you have nuzzled your face into the side of his chest, that you can discern ribs from muscle. He is still asleep based on the steady rise and fall of his sternum and the gentle rumbles that leave his throat. You are ready to peel yourself off him when you notice that your leg is on top of his, practically caging him in, and there is almost no way to move it without rousing him.

Fuck.

You keep still and mewl over a plan that will save you from him realizing the position you've taken; the position your sleeping self found solace in. You leap upright and remove all of your limbs from his in one swift motion, pretending to have just awoken, and breathe hard as if ripped from a nightmare. 

His eyes open and he swears. "Jesus. What was that?"

"Just a dream," you lie. "Sorry for waking you."

You jump out of the bed and practically run before he can say anything; before he can realize how odd it'd be for you to have a dream when you haven't had one since... since staying in his room.

You lock yourself in the bathroom and grip the counter, knuckles whitening in the attempt to erode the feel of his warmth that seems to linger. A lump is forced down your throat as you lean back against the wall and close your eyes for a moment. When they reopen, you look down and lift your shirt, only to find the indent of strong fingertips brandishing your plush hip. Jesus. Your stomach knots and unknots. 

"You didn't like that," you whisper to yourself. You brush your thumb over the marks, gently at first, then palming them hard as if to erase them. You drop your shirt and look at the mirror. "You did not like that."

Before someone can stumble upon you talking to yourself, you comb your fingers through tousled strands and slip out. It seems most others are awake. How could you and Ghost have slept so long? Usually, the two of you are up with the sun. 

"Hey. Morning," you greet when you spot Blue on the porch, belly down, as she plays checkers with Kyle's nephew. She glances over her shoulder. Something in her bright eyes seems...off, but you can't put your finger on it.

"Hi. Is Ghost up yet?"

"Hm? Oh, uh—not sure. I didn't check, really."

"Okay." She looks back at the game and says nothing else. You feel as though she saw right through you. Or maybe that boy has told her everything. Surely he knows about Ghost's plans? Kyle had to have told him. Maybe that is why Blue seems upset, but like he said, it isn't your place to say anything. 

You are itching for a hunt. 

It feels urgent, for some reason. Like you want to get out of here before Ghost can be up, too. You find Kyle and he suggests that the two of you take Cherry so you can get go further south where he claims there is a meadow to look for deer. It is difficult to ride with him behind you and a bow on your back, so he wears it for you. You can feel his eyes on the back of your head.

"Awfully quiet this morning. Penny for your thoughts?"

"I talked to him," is what you give. "Last night."

"Ah. How'd that go?"

"It was fine. I mean, I am getting used to the idea."

"That's good. It'll be worth it, you know. Once we get there. Finally get to have a semblance of a normal life."

A normal life. You almost snort at the thought. 

The morning grows longer, and not even the haircut can save you from the sweat that gathers. You make it to the meadow after an hour of horseback that leaves your thighs bristling. He helps you down and ties Cherry to a tree. You wade through tall, bright grasses that sway in the humid breeze. It looks vaguely familiar, stirring something in your gut that has your boots frozen for a moment. 

Kyle looks back at you, noticing that you've stopped following. "Good?"

"I just—I think I've been here once before. When I was on my own. I came this way." Your eyes scan the surrounding trees, where the meadow feeds into the forest, and an a gnarly oak with distinctive branches catches your eye. "I definitely have been here. I slept in that tree."

You push forward into the meadow and shake the memory. You keep close to Kyle as he starts telling you about some memories from the military, keeping his voice light as the air so as to not startle any deer you might come across. He tells you about his time in Afghanistan. His brother was there, too, but there were stationed at different bases. He didn't even know he'd died until weeks after since he was out on the field. 

"After Afghanistan is when I met Ghost the first time."

"Oh?"

He nods. "He was my lieutenant when I went to Russia. I was scared shitless of him at first. I mean, he had a bit of a reputation and I was only 22."

"He was good at what he did," you say.

"More than that. People said he was up to some shit outside of what he did, but that was just rumors."

You think you spot a streak of gold through the grass, but it is just a stalk of wild wheat. You look back at him. "What do you mean?"

"May have heard a thing or two about him killing a guy off-duty. Of course, unconfirmed, otherwise he wouldn't have been enlisted again."

He killed someone? Like actual murder? You are about to ask more, mind wandering against your will to how you had your face pressed into him only an hour earlier, but finally you spot a deer. Kyle sees it, too, motioning his hand for you to stay quiet. Your boots are near-silent as you carefully draw an arrow, squinting one eye to see clearer. There are three. An adult female and two fawns. You draw the string and aim for the adult; the easier kill compared to frolicking young ones. 

"I'll get the doe," you whisper.

"Gotcha."

The beady black eyes turn your way and you hesitate for a mere breath. There is movement, a flash of grey, and then the doe snaps her eyes in another direction. What is she looking at? Your brows furrow, arrow following her, when the answer arrives as a Grey launching towards the deer. The three run off and you release the arrow, aiming for the Grey's head instead.

"Motherfucker. Ruined the kill," Kyle mutters.

You weave towards the corpse. It surprises you to see such a fast one out here by itself, meaning it is newly infected. The stench is pungent when you approach. A thick cloud that quickly envelops you. It makes you shudder. The Grey continues to writhe, your arrow lodged through its neck rather than the corrupted brain. You draw another arrow from your sheath and aim down when a hand suddenly grips your shoulder.

"Twix," Kyle breathes in your ear.

"What?" 

You look away from the Grey and follow Kyle's gaze, your eyes widening in horror as you realize the terrible smell isn't from this single creature. It's hundreds. A dark, grey mist that unfurls through the trees. A growing chorus of agony as their tattered bodies collide—some limping, others hurtling forward in a grotesque dance, but all converging on the meadow.

[nadjasnandor]

what I don't understand is like .... they wrote the guillermo and nandor dynamic the way they did AND made both of them queer. like. nobody asked them to do ANY of that. so turning around and mocking everyone who very reasonably looked at what the writers of this show wrote and said "they are written like a couple" is just a baffling thing to do. imho

Exactly. And if you don't mind, I'm going to use your ask as an excuse to write out why I'm upset about certain things, because what you said is the root of my problem.

My disappoint doesn't come from Nandor/Guillermo not going canon in the traditional sense (at least not fully), but from the very 2010s-esque way everyone seems to be talking about fans post-finale. Basically saying they never intended Nandor & Guillermo to be anything but platonic and blaming the weird fans for wanting their pornographic whishes (🙄) to actually happen in the show, like they were not in any way responsible for creating those wishes, is insulting but, more importantly, not true. And they can't convince me otherwise because I was there, watching the whole thing unfold in real time.

I already mentioned being remotely normal about Nandor/Guillermo pre season 3 and there is a reason for that. During the first season the fandom was small. And by that I mean both Nandor/Guillermo shippers and also the people watching wwdits in general. During season 1, sometimes all you saw when going into the tags was about 5 of my gifsets in a row, for instance. Even if people watched the show, they didn't really interact with it in a fandom-y way. During the middle of s1, I complained about there not being Nandor/Guillermo fics at all and even between s1 and s2 I posted about there not being a lot. It was also this era when the first mentions of possible canon romantic feelings were brought up and it was by Harvey himself, who said he thinks Guillermo has feelings for his boss. This was, of course, only Harvey explaining how he views his character but I feel it's important because, as it's been mentioned before, Harvey came up with a lot of Guillermo's character, starting with his surname. He basically created current Guillermo. In the original pilot script, Guillermo is a 40-something, very bitter man. Quite different from our Guillermo and it's all thanks to Harvey.

But during this period, that is during s1 and s2, anything romantic between Nandor and Guillermo was purely accidental and mostly due to Kayvan and Harvey's chemistry. We all knew this, even if by s2 we did get the first articles about Nandor & Guillermo's relationship being maybe not fully platonic. By the end of season 2, the fandom has grown for sure but it was still nowhere near its current size. We also had Nandor say he treated Guillermo like a son, which was quite annoying but we at least knew where we stood with the show. Didn't stop us from shipping those two, of course, because fandoms have survived on less (Looking back, it is funny how much I hated that line when now it's just *vaguely gestures around*). It's important to note that after season 2, Jemaine left and Paul took over. And then came season 3.

There is a reason why I was so insane about the Cloak of Duplication and then Gail. The former canonized Guillermo's feelings for Nandor on screen for the first time and the latter showed that it was not just a single episode, throw away scene. Instead they continued with Guillermo being jealous of Nandor and his sexual partner. That was huge. But the fandom still hasn't blown up fully, that happened later during season 3. And I think it's important to say that because they wrote and filmed season 3 before the show blew up. They cannot say they wrote those scenes to please (or bait) fans. They weren't 'pressured' to do anything with Nandor and Guillermo. Season 3 was also when the very heavy Nandor/Guillermo promoting started. (Like the parody of The Bodyguard poster with 'Never fall in lo-', for example). Now, I don't remember if the first articles calling them the will-they-won't-they couple of the show came out during this season or later, but it was definitely past season 3. So by the end of season 3 the fandom has grown large and people were obviously very into the ship.

Now we can say shippers are pushy or annoying but fans can be annoying in general. People can be annoying lol. When your show grows big enough, annoying people you don't like are going to watch it too. (I'm sure if those annoying people are cishet men then this burden is easier to bear but I digress. I am a little bitter, after all). But at this point, fans had no reason to be pushy, we thought every sign was pointing to canon romantic Nandor/Guillermo.

At this point, the show saw how large the fandom has grown and how invested people were in Nandor/Guillermo. If that's not what they wanted, if they felt people were seeing things differently than how they intented, they could have pulled back. They had enough time between season 3 and season 4 to do that. But they didn't. Instead, they doubled down and continued to do the same for 2 more season. Even if by season 5 the latest we already had Paul saying weird things about the dynamic.

Instead it seems they decided to pull back in season 6 but by then it was too late. People were expecting them to come through on the thing they have been teasing for 3 seasons. And then they blamed the fans for not liking what they offered up instead. For wanting 'pornographic scenes'. Because it's 'not that kind of a show'. They say this about a show with an episode called The Orgy.

And even while saying all that, they didn't stop them from teasing the fans until the very last moment. Nandor's 'you know what would be cooler than being friends' is just cruel lmao. And that's why it felt more like mocking to me. Not only because of what happened in the show, but because when I watch those scenes, I can't seperate them from how the cast and crew talk about the ship and the fans in interviews. They apparently now think it's stupid and weird but will gladly tease it in the show for whatever reason? It's funny because fans are weird and kinky, I guess. Things unheard of in relation to this show.

I also don't understand Kayvan and Harvey's complete 180 turn. During the early seasons, Kayvan was not really into the idea of the ship, saying it's a bit toxic due to the power imbalance in their dynamic but he seemed to go full throttle later, even overtaking Harvey in hyping the ship up. And then in the first post-finale interview, he says that 'Nandor is never going to have sex with Guillermo', even if the show left that door open with the last scene. And then there's Harvey, who was the first to say Guillermo has feelings for his boss, who is now championing the repserentation of platonic gay male friendships on tv. In his case, I can give him the benefit of doubt, because he must have his own experiences with that and it's not my place to dismiss or doubt them. I do find the change strange and have complained about it but it's more understandable than Kayvan's. (EDIT: I didn't read this interview after the finale but it just makes things even more confusing, if I'm honest.)

I tried to be as coherent as possible and write out all my thoughts about this topic but I most likely still missed some things. I don't really like to talk about my feelings and thoughts this elaborately because I find it difficult to fully express myself but I tried my best because I felt like I was going insane.

[dailynnt]

FRIENDS WITHIN TOUCHING DISTANCE

Summary: What happens when two best friends try to get along under the same roof? You've been living with Jungkook for three months now, but your cohabitation is still a challenge for you. He continues to live like a real bachelor without following the rules you agreed upon from the beginning of your decision to live together. Should you find a compromise or should you find a new place to live?

Couple: Jeon Jungkook/ Fem!Reader

Characters: The Reader, Jeon Jungkook, Park Jimin, Kim Taehyung, Min Yoongi, Kim Seokjin, Kim Namjoon, Jeon Hosuk.

🔞 Age restrictions: 18+

👩🏼‍❤️‍👨🏻 Relationships: ⚤

📕 Number of part: 14/?

🖇️ Tags: best friends, friends with benefits, slow longing, sexual tension, protected sex, unprotected sex, alcohol, drunken sex, inexperienced main character, mafia au, illegal trade, deaths of minor characters, weapons, swear words. Tags will be added as the story is written.

👩🏼‍💻 From the author: A new part with a very very tense situation 😄 Please rate this part I enjoyed writing it so much 🤩

🫂Dedication: For you, my love @myjungkookthighs. You know that I appreciate you very much and love you🥰💜

⚠️ Warning: English is not my native language, so there may be mistakes in the text. Please don't get mad at me too much! Those under 18, please don't read this story!

📋Tag list: @myjungkookthighs, @notsevenwithyou (If anyone wants to be in my tag list let me know)

→ Part 1 → Part 2 → Part 3 → Part 4 → Part 5 → Part 6 → Part 7 → Part 8 → Part 9 → Part 10 → Part 11 → Part 12 → Part 13 → Part 14

Part 13. Between despair and desire.

It was so cold. You only started to warm up when Jungkook turned on the seat heating for you. The heat spread nicely over your buttocks and warmed your lower back. But your hands and nose were still cold.

A few minutes ago, you and Jungkook drove out of the parking lot of your hotel. There was silence between you, you didn't speak. Why? You didn't want to. The reason? The reason is that he have a whole bag full of weapons, and it's decorated with an almost perfect lie on top.

You glanced at the dashboard, which showed -8 degrees Celsius and the time was 13.39. Jungkook was driving the black minivan he'd rented from the airport yesterday to get around town.

He drives with a completely indifferent expression. You took a quick glance at him, and it didn’t took you long enough to memorize every detail of his face.

The big black eyes, watching the road intently. His eyebrows were slightly drawn together, most likely because of the flow of thoughts in his head. For a moment, you wanted to know what he was thinking about. About your quarrel? Or about work? Or about that damn weapon bag and where exactly it was going to be used? His lips were constantly under the torture of his teeth, which were peeling off the skin and biting his lower lip where the piercing was. You also noticed a mole under his lip, which was clearly visible when Jungkook pursed his lips. His hands gripped the steering wheel tightly.

You turn your head to the right and look at the landscape outside the window. It changes instantly because of the speed of the car. You don't notice how Jungkook looks away from the road and looks at you.

He wants to find something to talk about, but he knows for sure that you don't want to talk to him. He just wants you to stop being angry and worried about that fucking weapon he so carelessly hid. He's such an idiot, Jimin said to leave it in the car. Jungkook returns his gaze to the road and the memory of last night is still fresh in his mind.

It's probably a coincidence, or you're on the same vibe again. You're thinking about last night's fight, too, and a wave of anger and irritation washes over you.

𓏧𓏧𓏧Flashback 𓏧𓏧𓏧

You are holding a gun. It is cold and heavy. Of course, you don't know much about pistols or assault rifles, but you can tell that this weapon is new and it is firearms. Because traumatic weapons use smaller ammunition, not these pointy-tipped ones that seem to be half a bag. You put the gun in place just as a voice comes from behind you.

"Y/N." - You hear Jungkook. He's calling you in a moderately calm tone, but you're still scared. You instantly turn around and see your friend. He's wearing the white robe the hotel provides, his hair is damp and his posture is tense. He quickly assesses the picture before him and realizes that the situation sucks.

You get up from your knees and walk two steps away, thinking that this distance is safe. You stop when you come across the bed.

"Why are you here?" - Jungkook asks. He's still standing in the doorway. You look at him with frightened eyes and feel either panic or fear, it seems all at once.

You see a guy you've known all your life. You spent your childhood and your school years with him, moved in with him when he offered to live with you during your university studies, started having sex with him because it turns out you had feelings for him all along. This is who you see before your eyes.

But his gaze does not seem familiar to you. You feel as if you are being pierced by the same knives that are in the bag near your feet. His gaze is direct, demanding, dangerous.

"I heard something fall." - You start to say. "I went to look and found this." - You point to the black bag with the weapons.

"Why did you open it?" - Jungkook asks calmly, but you can hear the desperation in his voice.

"What is it?" - You continue to hold your hand toward the bag. "Why do you have so many weapons?" - You keep your voice steady, but you don't know when it will break.

"I'm explaining everything to you now. You misunderstood..." - Jungkook trying to explain, and starts moving in your direction.

"Don't come near me." - You say. Maybe you're afraid of Jungkook right now, to some extent, but it's more about not wanting him to be close. He stopped a few steps away and kept his eyes on you. "First, try to explain this." - You say and you both understand what the conversation is about. You see Jungkook tense up even more.

"I told you I work for a security company. It's private, so we buy all our weapons personally. We have always bought them in Japan, but through a distributor. When I left yesterday with Jimin, I decided to get some new ones myself, so I went to the store and bought some weapons." - Jungkook said. You could feel your heart pounding against your chest. Blood was pounding in your ears. Why is he only now telling you that he sometimes buys guns himself? Why the hell doesn't he share anything with you?

"Do you use this weapon at work?" - You asked, incredulous.

"Yes. My company protects powerful people." - Jungkook said, half-truthfully.

"Why did you never tell me that your company uses firearms?" - You continued to question your friend.

"Why would I do that?" - Jungkook asks. You giggle sarcastically.

"Because you and I are friends, sort of. Aren't we?" - You say irritably. Fear has almost been replaced by anger. Jungkook wants to answer, but you speak for him. "I asked you a billion times who, where, and with whom you work. And you were silent. I don't understand why you can't share such simple information with me. I consider myself your best friend, and the prefix 'best' means sharing everything." - You say sharply. Jungkook clenches his jaw, his chewing muscles pulsate.

"Don't forget the fact that you're a girl. Some things should be kept from you so you don't get worried." - Jungkook tries to keep his voice calm, but he's almost holding back too.

"You're going on about this 'worrying' shit again? What am I, your mommy? Of course I'm worried about you, but it's not like I cry over every bruise you get. I'm your fucking friend who supported you and was there for you when you needed it. And for some reason you're being a total asshole and hiding everything from me." - You almost shouted.

Jungkook doesn't understand why he's treating you like this. He really should be more open with you, but every time he wants to tell you something, this damn 'protect her at all costs' thing kicks in. It's all because of where he works.

To protect you from the world Jungkook lives in, you have to know nothing. He's been hiding the truth for a long time, and not just from you, but from his parents and brother. He's used to lying about his job and his lifestyle. You know, complaining about being hit in the head with a gun during a racketeering operation is not something you can usually talk about.

He knew he was taking a risk when he asked you to live with him. But he didn't think you'd be that curious. Have you always been like this? For a while, everything was fine, and Jungkook was skillful at dodging questions. He thought he could do it, and maybe he would have succeeded if it weren't for the fact that you started fucking and Doohoon showed up. It was his actions that got you to Japan and to that damn bag.

"My work is a serious matter. It's not something you can tell just anyone. It's not sitting at the checkout in a store and then coming and telling how you were scolded for not giving a discount. It's not just security, it's high-level security, and I have to be careful in every detail. Weapons are a part of it, and I can't just open up these things." - Jungkook explained, giving an example of how you once called and complained to him after meeting with an unpleasant customer. Your face was distorted by anger.

"So I'm 'anyone' to you, which explains why you didn't say anything for so long." - You feel disappointed and hurt. You shared everything with Jungkook, everything without exception, and he just couldn't tell you where he worked and what he did. You would have understood everything, you wouldn't have been the person who pestered him with phrases like "I'm so worried", "maybe you should quit" and so on. You have always been his support and backbone. Why did he forget that at some point and start hiding everything?

"You're clinging to the words Y/N. I didn't tell you because, first of all, I didn't want you to worry that I was dealing with weapons, and secondly, I'm not allowed to say anything at all about work because it's completely about anonymity. And you know very well that you are very important to me, not just anyone." - Jungkook argues. You laugh sadly. You're so sick of this shit. Just a week ago, he promised to tell you the truth, but you caught him hiding something from you again. And to be honest, his ‘I bought a new guns because we always buy in Japan’ sounds so lame.

"Listen, Jungkook, do I look like some kind of stupid girl to you? Do you think when you told me you work for a security company that I don't guess that you deal with guns? Do you think, thatI think you protect people with sticks and arrows? Or what? Fuck..." - You swear to get rid of the anger inside you. "I perceive any information adequately. And for some reason I thought you knew me and could trust me with anything."

"You don't understand me." - Jungkook said rudely. He irritably took off his robe and threw it on the bed. How can you not understand that he is protecting you? You were dumbfounded at the sight of his naked body.

His beautifully muscled body distracted you greatly. You remembered how you had sex with him in the bathhouse just half an hour ago. Jungkook irritably took his clothes and began to change in silence.

"For me to understand you, a genius, you needs tell something to me. Or at least explain your actions." - You replied sarcastically. Jungkook, who had already put on his sweatpants, looked up at you. He came up to you without a shirt and with his torso completely bare, which was a distraction. You tried to look only into his eyes. He came close and you were not afraid of him. You realized that he would never hurt you, even if he had ten bags full of weapons.

"You are as daring as ever, baby, in your words." - Jungkook said calmly. "If I don't tell you something, it means I have personal reasons. You have no right to tell me what to tell you and what not to tell you. All you need to know is that I care about you." - Jungkook fell silent and you felt his tone send a shock through your body.

"How do you care about me? Ha Jeon?" - You asked with a poisonous smile. "You hide your life, from me, your friends, your girlfriends, and now you're telling me that's what 'caring' means? You're acting like a fucking gangster, hiding who you are and 'protecting' me." - Your voice turns slyly sweet. But your expression is pure anger. Jungkook looks down at you from the height of his height, right into your eyes. It seems as if he is covering the entire space with himself. His face is literally 20 centimeters away, but you are not afraid.

"I told you about the work, just not in detail. I introduced you to all my friends. As for girlfriends, I thought you weren't interested. They always pissed you off. Why do you think I'm a gangster? " - Jungkook says, and a cocky smile appears on his face. You boil with anger.

"’I care about you. But I'm not telling you what I'm dealing with because I'm shooting a gun. I introduced you to my friends, but you don't fucking need to know who they are. I'm not home for days at a time, and you don't need to know where I am or what I'm doing’." - You imitated Jungkook in a very mocking tone. "You're trying to keep me away from your real life. That's what gangsters or assholes do." - You said without emotion. Although you are very angry. Jungkook is silent for longer than necessary. You can almost physically see the flashes of lightning that radiate from you and him eyes.

"Don't get involved in something you shouldn't." - Jungkook suddenly says. His tone is warning, but you take it as a threat. You notice that he doesn't deny his involvement in the gangsterism. But why would Jungkook be a gangster? It’s for sure he's done with illegal fighting?

"I don't interfere. It was you who brought the bag of weapons to our room and didn't hide it from me carefully. All I want is an explanation." - You say with irritation. "Tell me the truth for once. Just without this 'I'm protecting you' bullshit. Why do you need this weapon?" - You ask and Jungkook is silent again for a long time.

He's hesitant about what to say. He looks into your unyielding eyes and doesn't know what to said. Jungkook recalls Jimin's words, and he claims that you will understand him. But he is afraid that if he tells you, you will turn away or even worse, get into danger. And all because of what he's become. He's already put you in danger, for fuck's sake. The fact that you live with him makes Doohoon even more annoying. If he knew he liked you, he would never have asked you to live with him.

"I need all this guns for my job." - Jungkook says, and it's really true. "That's all you need to know." - He decided he wouldn't tell you. Because you are the only light in his dark life and you have to stay that way. Even if you're didn’t want to still with him, he needs to know that you're alive and that no one will ever touch you. He will take care of it.

You close your eyes against the fierce irritation. Why are you here? Why are you asking all these questions? Why are you living with him? Why are you friends with a man who doesn't trust you with anything? You open your eyes and see Jungkook's serious gaze.

"Okay." - You say and clear your throat. "Then I guess I'll go." - You're about to walk away, but Jungkook stops you. You want to scream for him to let you go, but you feel his lips on yours. You try to fight him off, but he presses you closer and deepens the kiss. His kiss is demanding and even controlling. You are intoxicated by this sensation and forget for a moment that you were just fighting. His hands are clutching yours to keep you from pulling away because he desperately needs you. You can feel how it sets you on fire. But you recover as soon as he stops kissing you. You want to hit him for the ease with which he can influence you.

But he saw it coming, because you're absolutely chained in his arms. He looks into your eyes for a moment and then pulls you to his chest. You can smell his perfume and hear his heart beating next to your ear.

"Don't go!" - He asks. "Please understand me, I can't tell you everything. It's not safe for you." - He argues. But you feel nothing but intense resentment.

"Let me go." - You say colorlessly.

"No." - Jungkook refuses.

"I swear Jeon, if you don't let me go..." - You would have finished this sentence by threatening to kick him in the balls, but at that moment Jimin, who had knocked before, enters the room.

"Jungkook, you didn't lock the door... I was looking for you with Y/N..." - He sees you two hugging and freezes in the doorway. "Oh sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt..." - He turns away and Jungkook loosens his grip. You drop Chunguk's hands and walk away.

𓏧𓏧𓏧𓏧𓏧𓏧𓏧𓏧𓏧𓏧𓏧𓏧

Later that night, your group is sitting in a restaurant. You sit down away from Jungkook and only came because Taehyung persuaded you to. He was the only one you knew well out of everyone. So your seat was next to him. No one noticed that you weren't talking to Jungkook at all because the conversation at the table was lively.

You remember when waitress brought another round of beer and Jimin said that he had met his old Japanese friend. They talked about business, and the friend mentioned a Christmas party he will throwing at a restaurant in the Hirafu district. It was some kind of an elite establishment because Hoseok had rated it. The whole story ended with your whole company being invited to the party.

That's why you're a today going downtown with Jungkook. He offered to buy you a suitable dress because you didn't bring anything with you. You couldn't say no, even though you really wanted to. But you couldn't go to the party in a ski suit or jeans. You could have gone with Taehyung, but that would have been weird, and everyone would have suspected that you weren't talking to each other because Jungkook had suggested that you buy something suitable in front of everyone. As usual, he left you no choice.

You were so angry at everything that was happening. You would have been better off going to Suwon, sitting at home by the fireplace, and enjoying your parents looking at the gifts you bought.

When the two of you finally arrived at one of the upscale boutiques in the city center. Jungkook turned off the engine and you immediately got out of the car and headed into the store. It was as if you knew where to go and what to do. But really, you didn't care what you wore to this party tonight, you just wanted to get it over with.

The boutique had a festive atmosphere: garlands were shining everywhere, and the air was filled with the light scent of Christmas trees and cinnamon.

You were silently looking at the dresses, touching the fabrics, and one caught your eye. It was a delicate champagne-colored dress with a long train, off-the-shoulder, and plunging neckline. It was both elegant and charming, and made you look very attractive, emphasizing your best parts.

"Try this one on." - Jungkook said quietly as he came closer, but you didn't answer, just took the dress and went to the fitting room.

When you came out, he froze. Your silhouette looked incredibly delicate and graceful, but at the same time so hot that he couldn't take his eyes off you. Jungkook was looking at your figure without hesitation, and you were annoyed. You could see the delight in his eyes. The last time he saw you in a dress was at your graduation. He was stunned by how beautiful you looked then. But now you look even more beautiful and alluring. And in an instant, Jungkook realized that everyone will be able to look at your beauty at that party, and he will be angry that he is not the only one who can enjoy it.

He even forgot that you were still angry with him. His lips stretched slightly into a smile, but he said nothing, just couldn't take his eyes off you.

"You look..." - He finally muttered, but you cut him off.

"Don't do that, Jungkook. Just choose if it suits you and let's go." - Your voice was cold. You took the dress off and handed it to him as you left the fitting room.

"Maybe you want to try on another one?" - He asked carefully, trying to make his voice sound casual.

"No." - You said without even looking in his direction. Jungkook felt irritated. Your cold demeanor pissed him the hell off.

As soon as the dress was purchased, you headed out without waiting a second. You wanted to get in the car as soon as possible, arrive at the hotel and lock yourself in a room. Jungkook was annoying you terribly, because you saw how he wanted to make up. But he has a serious offense, and it's not just about guns or hiding the truth.

Last night you couldn't sleep for a long time after you came home from the restaurant. You left before everyone else, citing fatigue. You locked the door to your bedroom so that Jungkook wouldn't come and analyzed your friendship with him. It turns out that you two stopped being normal when he went to university. And remembering the fact that it was then that he started to engage in illegal fighting, you thought: what if he really is somehow connected to crime?

Remembering the car in which you had sex with him and his clothes that day. You said he looked like the Mafia. God, no. That's not possible. Because it's Jungkook. He's just Jungkook. A kind, funny, cocky guy who only thinks about sports and girls. That's how you knew him.

For almost three years, you haven't had a normal conversation with him. You saw each other a few times a year, but you talked on the phone. You didn't notice any changes because he was probably hiding everything.

It was only after you started living together that you noticed that he became withdrawn, it was about his life. You were constantly asking him everything, and his answer was either some kind of joke or he skillfully avoided answering. That's it. Your "best friendship" ended when Jungkook graduated from high school.

You decided that you didn't want to sit in the front seat and feel the terrible tension between you. When Jungkook unlocked the car, you went to the back seat and climbed into the seat behind him. It took him a while to realize where you were, but as soon as he noticed that you were in the back seat, and in added you were behind him, he knew that things were going to be tough. This needs to be resolved somehow.

"Why did you sit there?" - Jungkook asked, out of the annoying you'd aroused in him back at the boutique. You didn't say anything. He waited a few long seconds. "Y/N! I'm talking to you!" - He barked, turning to you from the driver's seat. You gave him a completely indifferent look with a little disapproval and continued to scroll through your phone. Jungkook cursed loudly. He started the car and pulled out of the parking lot.

You didn't look where you were going because you were looking at your phone the whole time. But when the car stopped, you realized that you couldn't have gotten hotel that fast.

When you looked up from your phone, you saw Jungkook get out of the car and slam the door loudly. You followed him through the windshield and when he was at the back door, you tried to figure out what was going on.

Jungkook abruptly opened the door and you met his angry gaze. In a moment, he was on the seat next to you. He unceremoniously snatched your phone and threw it somewhere on the other seat.

"What are you doing?" - You protested.

"Fuck Y/N, you're driving me crazy. Say something already! Because I'm tired of talking to silence!" - Jungkook didn't yell at you that hard, but he was talking too loud.

"What's wrong, dear? Don't you like being ignored? I'm sorry I'm not so good at hiding my true face." - You said mockingly. Jungkook seemed to go crazy. He grabbed your hand and squeezed it, not to hurt you, but to make you look at him.

"You like to run your mouth, I know. But why can't we talk about things normally?" - Jungkook asks, and you hear your breath coming faster.

"What's the point of talking to you? You're never going to tell the truth anyway." - You say, sharply.

"Why are you so fucking stubborn? I've told you more than you need to know. I'm keeping quiet for your own goddamn safety." - Jungkook explains once again.

"I'm stubborn?" - You laugh hysterically. "You mean I'm supposed to act like nothing happened, ignoring the way you're always hiding things?"

"I explained everything." - Jungkook says briefly, more calmly.

"You explained it." - You repeat. "Your 'serious work' that requires weapons? That's a great explanation. Do you want me to applaud you for that? What about everything else?".

Jungkook was draining you harder and harder. When will this situation end?

"I'm protecting you, when will you realize that?" - Jungkook tried to get through to you.

"What the fuck are you protecting me from?" - You screamed. Jungkook didn't know where the anger came from. He pulled you a few centimeters closer to him in one sharp movement. Your eyes were frightened because you did not expect him to grab you. But the fright was immediately replaced by rage.

"From yourself." - He said with a threatening tone. You clearly did not expect to hear this. You held your breath.

"What is this nonsense?" - You ask. He silently studies your face. You are losing all patience. "Hey, Jeon!" - You shout. "What the hell did you just say?"

"You better not say anything else to me. You're making me really angry." - Jungkook warned you. You smiled defiantly at him.

"Are you crazy? You started all this..." - You said, but he interrupted you.

"Yeah, and you're the one who drove me crazy." - He says in a low, hoarse voice that echoes in your head. You feel mixed feelings of anger and desire when he says that you drove him crazy. It's not right to feel this way.

You want to get out of his space. But this is Jungkook, he never lets you go. He pulls you so that his lips touch your ear. His lips are hot, and you can't help but feel frost on your skin.

"You completely and utterly make my roof go. And even now, all I can think about is how to fuck you so hard here that you'll shut your pesky little mouth." - You hear his low and threatening voice. You shouldn't be doing this, but his tone makes you instantly wet. You want to hit yourself for reacting this way.

He leans back and looks at you as if you are the only thing that matters to him right now. His eyes burn with an incomprehensible fire-a mixture of anger, passion, and something you can't quite put your finger on. He lets go of your hand, placing it somewhere on the headrest of the seat.

"You so sure I want you to fuck me?" - You say cheekily. He smiles slyly. He knows you're lying. His eyes fall to your crotch. Jungkook touches the waistband of your sweatpants with his free hand. He looked up at the same time as you did, because you were watching his movements too. You looked at each other with fierce desire.

"We're going to find out." - Jungkook says hoarsely. He puts his hand in your pants and easily passes the underwear. As his fingers part your folds, he feels your wetness. And fuck, you're just flowing. Now he smiles cockily when he sees you trying to hold back a moan, closing your eyes.

"Look at me." - He orders, moving his fingers ruthlessly over your clit. You obey him immediately and open your eyes. Jungkook's gaze is dark, completely saturated with lust. You seem to get even wetter when you hear that commanding, husky voice.

"Go ahead and say you want me to fuck you." - Jungkook says with authority. You spread your legs wider to give him access to your very wet pussy. As he plunges his fingers into your passage, you grab the seat and can no longer hold back your pleasure.

You moan, which makes Jungkook get harder and harder. Your moans are the best melody for his ears. He plunges his fingers into you so deeply that you start to want more. Your moans become like whimpers because you want Jungkook to fuck you. Hard, gently, whatever, let him do it. You're such a liar.

"Go ahead and beg me, I want to hear you ask me to shove my cock deep inside you." - Jungkook says in your ear as he continues his torture. He bites your ear and you just feel a crazy rush of unbridled desire. God, you can beg him as much as you want, to make it's already happened.

"Fuck Jungkook, fuck me!" - You beg, just as he asked. Your voice sounds desperate. Jungkook smiles, you didn't resist for long. He kisses your neck, freeing it from clothes and hair, and kisses it so that there will definitely be hickeys. He doesn't care how you going hide them.

"Ask for it better." - He murmurs against your skin. You feel dizzy from his fingers inside you. You wonder if you can come just from Jungkook's fingers.

"Please... Kook... fuck me hard." - You beg. He pulls away from your neck, leaving a few strong hickeys, and pounces on your lips. His tongue takes over your mouth like a master. He kisses you so hard that you are going to come from everything he does to you. But just as you think you're about to come, he pulls his fingers out of you and away from your lips. You breathe heavily and try to understand why he didn't finish what he started.

"You didn't think I was going to let you come on my fingers, did you?" - He asks, plunging them into his mouth. He sucks on your wetness and then smiles cheekily. "Only on my cock."

"You could have let me come." - You rebel, your eyebrows raised.

"It's a punishment for your annoying tiny mouth." - Jungkook says. You push him away angrily, but he hardly doesn’t move. How dare he not let you come? You begged him.

"Asshole." - You are offended. Jungkook grabs your chin and forces you to look at him.

"You didn't ask well. You should try harder." - Your friend says with authority. You lose your mind at this tone.

"Go to hell." - You cut him off. Jungkook is amused by your anger. He chuckles softly.

"Right after I fuck you here, my love." - He takes off his jacket and you watch him with an angry look. He throws it somewhere on the seat and then moves closer to you to undress you, so that you have as little clothing as possible. He takes off your puffy short jacket, which you have not buttoned, and you see a sly glint in his eyes.

"I haven't even asked well you yet, and you're already undressing me?" - You say with a gloating smile. You're provoking Jungkook. He grabs you and you whimper from the unexpected movement. In an instant, you're on Jungkook's lap. He turns you onto your stomach and locks you in. "What the hell are you...?" - You scream, but then you feel him pulling your pants with underwear down to your ankles and your voice catches in your throat. He touches your wet cunt and smears the moisture all over your labia minora. You bite your lip to hold back a moan. You feel your face burning, and you don't know whether it's because of shame or the intimacy of the situation. You grip the seat until your fingers turn white.

What you don't expect is that Jungkook will hit you on the ass. It's not a hard blow, but it's noticeable.

"What a cheeky girl you are. Do you think you won't be punished for your long mouth?" - Jungkook says tensely in your direction. He says the words slowly with visible control. Your pussy gets wetter and you feel a pleasant ache in your lower abdomen.

He hits you again and you hear that sinful sound. You fucking love it. You whimper when his hand touches your cunt and then his fingers sink inside you. You can feel his hard cock resting on your stomach.

"Do you get so excited about being slapped on the ass, my little whore? A few minutes ago you were so brave and confident. Why do you seem so small now? You're not answering? Wait until I'm there to shut you up myself." - You hear his excited voice. He is tormenting you with his finger, and you just want him to fuck you. Your desire is strong. You just want to feel him fill you as deeply as possible.

"Jungkook..." - His name comes out of your mouth. You feel him touching your clit and making circular, almost gentle movements that make you go crazy with pleasure.

When you feel your orgasm approaching, you can't hold back your moans. They fill the entire space around you. Jungkook will feel his hard cock twitching at these sounds and the sight of your wet naked pussy and buttocks. Fuck, he just dreams of shoving his cock inside you and fucking you so hard you can't sit up.

Your loud, long moan means you came. Jungkook feels your clit twitching with his fingers. You lay your head down on the seat exhausted and don't care that you're naked right in front of Jungkook's eyes. Your body, relaxed and trembling. Your breathing was becoming steadier, but still lost somewhere between deep sighs and a barely audible moan that remained echoing on your lips.

You tried to get up. But you felt a hand on your ass. You stopped, waiting for what would happen next.

Jungkook was already eager to take you completely.

"Did you like it?" - Jungkook asks you. You are embarrassed, but you have to tell the truth.

"Yes." - You say quietly. Jungkook sits you on his lap. His horny cock rests in your ass.

"Say it again, baby, I didn't hear you." - He asks greedily, his eyes ravaging your face, especially your lips. You're embarrassed by the desire in his eyes, but at the same time you feel confident.

"I liked the way you punished me." - You say in a firmer voice. Jungkook smiles, his lip tenses and you see the hole from the piercing stretch.

Jungkook takes your face in his palm and kisses you. You feel those plump lips and can't get enough of that touch. Your tongues intertwine and you can feel once again how much you like to feel Jungkook on your lips. He as a usual, becomes necessary to you.

He plays with your mouth while holding your cheeks with one hand. He is in complete control of you and you just can't resist this power. You want to stay in this position and you don't know what Jungkook has done to you. If he could read your mind, he would be shocked at how much you want to be controlled by him.

Your lungs are burning and you have to pull away from each other. When your lips part, you slowly open your eyes and see Jungkook's smile.

"Baby, take off your clothes, I have to fuck your little cunt." - You silently do as he asks, undressing on his lap. You take off your shoes, sweaters, and a bra. You are left completely naked. He looks at you impatiently, and the moment your breasts are exposed, he immediately grabs them in his hands. His tongue is already on your nipple and biting it. You hiss in pain and pleasure.

"Stand up. I'll take off my pants." - He orders you and you sit down where you were before Jungkook "punished" you. You see a wet spot on his fly. He laughs gloatingly and undoes his button. "Do you see how you wet me?" - Jungkook asks, taking off his pants and shoes at the same time. You don't answer, just watch in fascination and wait for the moment when you can ride him.

Jungkook does it quickly. He's already taken off his boxers, freeing up his erect cock. It's thick, pre-cum dripping from the end, and the head of his cock is purple and begging for attention.

Jungkook stands up and turns around to face you. You can see his cock bumping against his thighs. He throws some of your things behind your back and says.

"Get down on all fours." - You do as he says. You get down on the seat on all fours, showing him the perfect picture of your swollen, needy pussy. You can feel your cum dripping out of it, running down your inner thighs. Jungkook puts his cock on your ass and pounds you with it several times. He uses his fingers to spread your wetness.

Your head falls down when you finally feel the touch there. "You'll swallow me perfectly, baby." - He comments on your wetness. God, he should hurry. Jungkook puts the head of his cock against your hole and you can't get enough of the sensations. The way his big thick cock stretches your walls.

Jungkook waits no more than a second and starts fucking you. You moan. Why does it feel so fucking good? It's so amazing.

"Yes... so good." - You moan. Jungkook has one hand on your hip, and the other hand is on your back, possessively. When Jungkook wants to get deeper into your passage, he grabs your hips tightly and fucks you with sharp, deep thrusts. You can hear your bodies grinding against each other, making the most sinful sounds you've ever heard. His balls are slamming into your asshole. There is no end to your blissful feeling. Jungkook plunges deep into you, stopping when you feel him twitching inside.

Jungkook leans his torso against your back. He caresses your clit and fucks your cunt at the same time. His hot breath burns he presses his lips to yours ear.

"Does my little whore like it when I fuck her?" - Instead of answering, you let out a languid exhale at his low, sexy voice. Jungkook is not satisfied that you don't answer. He slams into you sharply and hard, pushing his cock into you mercilessly. "Answer me when I ask you." - He says roughly. How does he know you like it when he's so bossy? Do you make loud, long moans.

"Yes... fuck yes Jungkook, I like the way you fuck!" you say, and you're choking on the sensations.

"Do you want me to be gentle?" - He asks biting your ear. Would you like that? Probably not. Maybe not this time.

"No." - You exhale. "I like..."

"You like me fucking you like a whore?" - He says, still in your ear. Yes. You fucking love it. His cock, which is so hard and deep inside you, reaching your uterus. He makes you feel high. And his roughness and possessiveness make you a lustful bitch.

"Yes, Jungkook, I'm going to come…" - You say as his movements make you dizzy. As soon as he hears that, he comes out of you. You freeze. Did he came out? You turn to make sure Jungkook is still there when he grabs you and puts you on the seat.

"Make yourself comfortable." - He says.

"Why the hell are you teasing me today?" - You say, catching your breath. He's already stopped you from coming twice when you wanted to. Jungkook laughs gloatingly out of the corner of his mouth. He helps you lie down.

You end up on your back, your head on things, and you can smell Jungkook's perfume. It looks like his jacket. He lifts your legs, throwing them over his shoulders. One of his legs, bent at the knee, is positioned near your hip, the other is on the floor, he will use this leg as a fulcrum.

He takes his cock in his hand, which is completely covered in yours and his semen, and plunges into you again. He exhales slowly, almost moaning. When he fills you with his cock again, you calm down, and you are no longer angry. He makes a few turns with his hips to get better positioned between your legs. But Jungkook remembers how you complained just now. Does he have to teach you a lesson again?

"If you open your mouth again without my permission, I'll fuck you so hard you won't be able to sit up!" - He says into your lips. You smile provocatively. These words sound promising and arouse a burning desire.

"Let’s! Make me shut up…or scream." - You say with the same smile. Jungkook raises his eyebrows and is almost happy that you didn't listen to him. Now he's turning you into a mess. He warned you.

He fills your lips. Kissing you passionately with his tongue. His lips move insistently against yours. He bites your lower lip, releasing it with a tug. Jungkook starts to push you. Setting a normal pace at first.

It doesn't last long, at some point he straightens up and half gets out of you.

Then he lowers your legs and bends them at the knees and approaches you again. All this time, you do not take your eyes off each other.

He puts one hand on your chest and bends the other at the elbow and places it near your head. So you are pressed tightly together. He starts fucking you so deeply and hard that you roll your eyes in pleasure. Each of his thrusts is accompanied by the worst sound of your wet cunt. He sometimes kisses your lips.

Your neck tempts him. Jungkook runs his tongue around your neck to taste it. He sucks the skin on your chest and bites your erect nipples. You scream and moan at the same time. The pain of these kisses is too pleasant. You can't even imagine how you wear a dress with all this stuff on my neck and chest.

His fast movements change to slow ones. He slowly pushes his cock into you to the very end, and then picks up the pace again. Jungkook is like that insatiable man who wants to take maximum pleasure from you. Your tight cunt gives him the most pleasure of anyone he has ever fucked. Your nails dig into his skin. You're trying to cut through his biceps with one and the skin on his back with the other. You scream in his ear, and it's probably a good thing he stopped at the side of the woods on the way to the hotel, otherwise half the city would have heard you.

"Kook... I can't." - You said whimpering.

"Can't do what, baby?" - Jungkook asks breathlessly. You both are drenched in sweat and smell like sex.

"I...I...I can't take it." - You say breathlessly.

"Yes you can, my little slut. I have to fuck you hard!" - Jungkook assures you. You feel the knot in the bottom of your stomach about to burst and release the most blissful pleasure.

Jungkook can't help but moan as he feels your walls tighten around him. He realizes that he won't have time to get out of you because his orgasm comes so suddenly and quickly. You cum at the same time as Jungkook. You whimper his name and feel his hot sperm filling your vagina. When you're orgasming, you don't realize what just happened. Jungkook's cock twitches, filling you to the brim.

Your friend puts his head down on your shoulder and you both breathe frantically trying to catch your breath. When Jungkook softens inside you, you open your eyes and look up at the ceiling of the car.

"Did you just cum inside me?" - You ask in a slightly hoarse voice. You realize that now Jungkook is lying on top of you and his cock is inside you without a condom. He lifts his head from your shoulder and you notice a few strands of his bangs are strayed by sweat. He's been working hard. He has a worried and guilty look on his face.

"Fuck, baby, I didn't have time..." - He says, breathing deeply. You panic. Jungkook looks at you and realizes that you are terrified. But he knows that if you take emergency contraception in the first 72 hours, you won't get pregnant. He has had such cases and he knows it well. Unless, of course, you ovulated. "Everything is fine. You haven't ovulated, have you?" - Jungkook asks to make sure everything is okay.

"I did a few days ago." - You answer. Jungkook sighs in relief and you notice. He gently withdraws from you and the semen flows out of your entrance. Jungkook finds some napkins and helps you wipe yourself. You sit up and feel how sore everything is. Your pussy is swollen and your entrance is on fire. You can still phantom feel Jungkook's cock. He was right when he said you wouldn't be able to sit up.

"We'll go to the pharmacy now and I'll buy you some birth control pills. Everything will be fine, you won't get pregnant." - You put on your underwear and freeze when he talks about pregnancy. God, this can't be happening.

"Okay. But you're an asshole, I really can't sit down now." - You complain. Jungkook pulls you to him, cupping your face in his hands.

"You're so good, you accepted me so well." - Jungkook says and kisses you. Slowly and gently, savoring his favorite lips.

"I would say too well." - You joke as you pull away from his lips. Jungkook pecks your lips one last time and quickly gets dressed.

It seems like you've made up, but it's obvious that you haven't solved any problems. You need to take care of the immediate problem of the unwanted pregnancy first, and then you'll deal with everything else.

↰ Previous chapter ● Next chapter ↱

[sirxlla]

Anemia

----------------------------------------------------

Warnings: Fainting. Fluff.

Prompt: Jason taking care of his S/O after they faint (requested by anon)

Notes: gender of reader, italics are actions and thoughts. i'm a new writer, so i'm trying to do what might be good layout? pls Imk what you think of the story or anything really in the comments, i'd really appreciate it.

-With that said it's all under the cut-

Tim was going to give blood and it sounded like a good way to help out the community due to their being a recent shortage, one of the facilities had recently burnt down so you went with him. Jason tagged along because he had a an errand to run around the area where the blood bank was; He was swapping old books out for new and the library was closer so you guys did that first to get it out of the way.

Needles were never overly too much on an issue when you normally got blood tests and things done but oh did you anticipate this incorrectly. The needle had to be in your arm for so much longer and you were starting to feel it a bit but thought it was nothing. Jason held your hand the entire hand, you hadn't even asked or overly needed it until the end but he did it anyways. The blonde nurse held a cottonball over the needle as she pulled it out to stiffle the blood before gently wrapping your arm in the elastic wrap bandage albeit a bit too tight.

After she was done with you she started flirting with him because of course almost every woman did considering how handsome and charismatic he was and the air of confidence that happened to surround him entirely. Jason was a very secure man in his masculinity and himself so he tended to find men and women flirting with him at almost every occasion. He was trying to be nice because you wanted to get out of there as quickly as he could.

You were annoyed at this point because you weren't feeling the best because of how much blood gotten taken so you tried to stand up and as soon as you did everything went black for just a moment, you are almost positive that you would end up hitting the ground but of course Jason being that kind of man he was and how just because it seemed like he wasn't paying attention didn't mean he actually wasn't his arms came around you and securely held you up guiding you back to the chair.

"Woah...Hey..." He spoke gently as you came back to and your vision filled back with color and focused itself in place.

"You got to be careful, Baby." With that one word 'Baby' the nurse backed off. Jason almost smiled has he noticed that she backed off.

"Do you want me to carry you?" At this point he was almost showing off. He had that smirk on his face that told you he most definitely was boasting.

It was also something that you loved so much the way that he almost bragged about the fact that he was with you, it made you feel like you were important. You are the apple of his eye and he saw no one else, the two of you could talk fictional characters or celebrities and all that sort of thing all day long but when it came to a true living person he'd ever come in contact with, he wanted no one else but you.

Tim had gave blood and then he had for some reason just to vanished off into the midst of wherever cause he had forgot his and Bernard anniversary so he ran off and failed to tell anyone about. Of course everyone knew that he could take care of himself so they left him to go on about whatever he needed.

There was nothing to do but take you home Jason had already done his errand which was fairly quick all things considered. Jason went to the library so constantly that he had their own personal phone number, one of the head Librarians there and he texted him what books he needed and then he could pick them up whatever he they were ready.

Of course it probably didn't hurt the fact that Jason made good sizable donations to the place. He has so much extra money lying around because he doesn't spend it like his other brothers do due to growing up in the shitholes of Gotham.

It was something that was exceedingly important to him because of course online was great but there was nothing in his mind even remotely came close to the hard copy of a book.

"Come on, Sweet Cheeks." He said with that same cocky tone as he scooped you into his arms picking you up like you weighed nothing.

Jason somehow consistantly found different pet names to call you just to keep you on your toes, there was something baout the wat your eyes lit up when he would find a new good one to add to his collection.

He guided you to your red Jeep that he had bought you for your birthday. You had been planning on getting a vehicle for a while but you were trying to save up for it; Before you knew it, he handed you some keys in the middle of work. Jason acted like it was nothing. Naturally, he knew when money was important due to the way he grew up before Bruce but he used it so sparingly Bruce had to often remind him it was even there.

Also in his mind, getting you the Jeep didn't hurt cause then he didn't have to stay out of bed til the ass crack of dawn after his night patrols to drive you to work.

He gently set you in the passenger seat and he buckled your seatbelt for you, something he definitely didn't need to do but the small things were that done naturally without him even even thinking about it.

He slid into the driver's, texted Tim he and you were headed home and Jason made his way across the city Gotham traffic.

"Babygirl, Let's get you some food, what would you like? Oh, who am I kidding it's always the same with you." He laughed and smiled widely, his free hand reaching over the middle console to hold yours.

"It's alright, just relax okay?" He could see the color in your face that had drained substantially compared to before your blood was drawn, it was obvious to him and to yourself that it was probably not a good idea to give so much blood. With the way you were feeling it was possible that you are anemic and didn't even know it, the sluggishness and lightheadedness were good signs of it.

Jason went through the drive-thru and got your favorite food from your favorite place. He knew your order without even asking, handing it to you as he parked in the parking lot of the restaurant. He just wanted you to feel better so he let you eat your food and slowly the color slightly came back to your cheeks.

"You feelin okay, Beautiful?" Concerned still lacing his tone.

"Yeah, I'm fine, Jay." You smiled slightly and ate your food feeling a lot better. Of course he was still worried about you, that came to him naturally to him. He knew that you would be okay though but that wouldn't stop him from keeping you in bed the rest of the night. The two of you watched movies and he made sure you were feeling better. Not that you ever wanted to but he never let you give blood like that again.

(Send me prompts if you want)

Masterlist

[doublejango]

HELLUVA BOSS SINSMAS SPOILERS, OCTAVIA EDITION-- [Spoilers below! Am tagging this as well, of course, but just in case you didn't catch the tags, this is your sign to stop now if you don't want a spoiler.]

I freaking love Octavia SO MUCH, you guys!!!! I love her, love her, love her! What a fantastically written character. And good lord, her singing voice! That was absolutely incredible. Not what I need to post about, but I had to mention it because she absolutely blew my socks off! Aaaahhh! but okay, okay, focusing and moving on.

I am 99% sure Octavia knows. Deep down. She knows that Stolas really does love her. And I think she understands, or really, truly will understand. She knows how important antidepressants are, clearly, and even if she didn't fully understand why he has them, she knows they're meaningful and that he does need them. And like, the first real "reason" she had to go see him, she immediately leapt on it. Giving him the medications--showing she cares, even if she's yelling? And she immediately moved to his defense, absolutely fearless.

Octavia loves Stolas.

She pushed back at him, yelled at him, questioned him, doubts him--all things that I really don't think she would do if he hadn't made her feel safe, loved, and wanted all her life. She can push back against Stolas, because I think she believes, on a purely subconscious level probably, an instinct born of the fact that he raised her with so much love and tenderness, that he would never hurt her, never judge her. And that is exactly how it should be, that is wonderful. Stolas instilled a sense of safety in her when it comes to him, or else she wouldn't be so honest with him, wouldn't let her pain show so clearly.

She doesn't do that with Stella and Andrealphus. She doesn't even really confront them at all, it seems. She could have been sassing them all along, snapping at them for taking her phone, for limiting her at all, but she just doesn't bother... and I think it says so much. If she really trusted Stella to have her best interests at heart, to be the loving and understanding mother--I like to think Octavia would've called her on her bs. But on some level, Octavia didn't seem to feel there was any point to confronting Stella or Andrealphus.

Only Stolas.

Because he is still the one who matters most to her, and with whom she is intrinsically safe.

She still trusts him. Even if she doesn't think she does right now, she turned to him with questions and exposed her vulnerabilities. Maybe she didn't react "logically" to his answers, but I mean, she's a teenager. She's a good kid, she's just also going through devastating heartbreak and loss right now, she's young, she's allowed to act out, act up. Yes, of course it's painful to watch, because I want our sweet Stolas to have his reunion with Via... but I think he will. I really, really think he will. It's okay that she's not ready for that time to be now. She'll get there eventually, and the two of them can be whole again <3

I think Via is too good a person to ever be fully corrupted by Stella's hatred and indifference, or Andre's casual cruelty. She has a lot of pain of her own to deal with right now, but as that heals, I choose to believe she'll see Stolas as a person too, not just as a father, not just as the one person in her life who was always there for her, but as a person. I think she'll see. She'll forgive him. And she will love him all the more deeply--

And that every day, until that day, she will love him still.

I adore her.

I adore her so much.

Adding, TLDR: I think it's so important that she feels she can safely reject him, because deep down Via knows that Stolas will never reject her, no matter what. Even now. She doesn't need to placate or tolerate him. She'll always be safe with him, and even if she doesn't know that consciously... I think she still knows.

[ghastlyaffairs]

for something as trivial and simple those feelings sure are hard to get rid of

also made a gif a version for fun + alt version with no tears under the cut

the gif is in very low resolution...this is a feature (i could make it bigger but that would require saving each frame individually and than glueing it all together. also i feel like low resolution suits it better. aesthetically and fits the mood)

[nightmarearian]

blood dripped from Poseidon's mouth, red.

red.

the day they overthrew Kronos, child-eater (stomach acid crawling around them, after maw of teeth grazing his small, child body), his golden ichor bled red.

god blood, degraded into a mortal's.

the day Typhon, father of monsters (as big as their father was, as big as the Titans with sharp claws and teeth) ripped out Zeus' tendons, his blood was red.

Poseidon, god of the tides, son of Kronos, looked up at the dark shape stood above him, his own golden trident in his hand, the teeth like prongs drenched in red.

Odysseus is a mortal. was a human.

sharp webbed ears spread out on the side of their head, scales grew around their neck and arms, shining like a coral reef, illuminated by their growing red eyes, that were shrunken to slits.

Odysseus' teeth glinted in the lightning, showing their unnaturally sharp point.

monster.

[edda-grenade]

when your boss gets Really into the zone when painting and you have to make sure he doesn't get himself assassinated

aka arlathan au, kubide (or halani, in this verse), being the most tired-while-pining bodyguard in all of arlathan

he's pining right back ofc

(kubide belongs to @wanderingnork, and though it doesn't follow any prompt, an entry for @equalopportunitysolas week)

[cementcornfield]

https://x.com/oliviaraytv/status/1792351489773752635?s=46&t=4nsvGMTnbYsCN_2D0a2rJg

Joe and Ja’Marr worked out together 😭 I know it’s not that special but Joe did asked Ja’Marr when he was ready

Actually me and Joe threw one time in California. I actually took a trip to go take a chance to go see him and hang with him for a time. And that was our first time throwing after, I think that was his fourth session when he first started to throw. So I caught him early.

[jichanxo]

playing LJ and idk what’s in the japanese water but Yagami is INSUFFERABLE!!!

He’s so fucking annoying his only argument is “muhhh sawa sensei” when Kuwana, Reiko or Ehara say the horrible things their kids endured like SHUT UP!!!! Reiko and Ehara’s children killed themselves bc they were bullied, I understand and support them fully for getting revenge, especially since the justice system is shitty when it comes to such cases

Did you feel the same or am I tripping?

putting this under the cut

sorry i know you sent this days ago and maybe your opinion has changed since then but i'll answer the best i can? (also i hope i don't accidentally spoil anything ahahah)

this take is not uncommon (and i felt the same at some point, though i've since changed my mind) so no, you're not tripping lmao. despite changing my mind, the fact that people say this pretty regularly probably means the writers didn't execute the idea as well as they could have. i would say that it feels clumsy and almost like a joke (cue sawa-sensei counter) to the point that it detracts from the point they're trying to make. i think some people will disagree with me on this -- rather than the writers, it's the players who aren't fully understanding what's being said to them in the text -- but regardless of whose "fault" that is, yes it's a Known Thing

(funnily enough, during my first playthrough, my sister mentioned seeing a meme about "sawa sensei" getting repeated a lot, and by the time the 2nd/3rd time hit we were like OH MY GOD THE MEME WAS REAL. which is a funny memory to me. lmao)

i think the thing that's getting lost here is that the "sawa sensei" argument is not meant to discredit how kuwana, reiko and ehara feel about the injustice. this part is not in question. yagami's stance on doing illegal shit is also not relevant to this conversation (and i'm not sure i could provide a compelling argument on this front anyway, aside from that he's very anti-murder, lol. clearly he does illegal shit himself so he's not against doing illegal shit based on principle alone. depends on circumstances probably)

sawa gets brought up because she clearly did not deserve to die. almost everyone agrees that sawa was a good person. kuwana puts her on a pedestal for confronting him about kusumoto being bullied, idealises her and muses that she would've understood him for what he's doing (killing people. and this is clearly a stretch). reiko says that sawa was the only person who visited kusumoto in hospital without an ulterior motive, which is one of the best testaments of character that she could give, really, imo. ehara probably holds a negative opinion of sawa for her false testimony about there being no evidence of bullying -- but this was clearly done under pressure of the people around her, and ehara's opinion is the exception to the rule.

so, sawa is a good person. so what? who cares? what's the point of bringing her up?

the point of what kuwana is doing is that he sees it as a way of righting the wrongs that the justice system leaves unaddressed. he needs to believe that what he is doing is right, because it gives him purpose and distracts him from his guilt.

sawa's death contradicts this. even if he and reiko didn't kill her themselves, it's proof that their extreme actions have negative consequences. they can say that the system is wrong, look what this monster did to my son, etc etc. but what they are doing also harms innocent people. the justice/revenge/whatever they pursue is at the cost of other innocent people. sawa herself represents the unforeseen cost of kuwana's self-imposed mission to kill bullies. they can justify themselves all they want, but sawa's death is a reality they can't talk around. they acknowledge she was a good person, but she died because of their actions. is this a worthwhile cost? yagami doesn't think so.

and the thing is, kuwana and reiko can be persuaded.

at least, that's kuwana's opinion about reiko

and later he says this about himself.

these screenshots are pulled from a youtube video w/ english dub so take it with a grain of salt, but you get what i'm trying to say here.

i think the repetition is the point. they agree sawa was a good person. they can be persuaded away from their current stance (that murder is an acceptable response). by repeating himself, yagami is using the argument that's most personal to them, mostly likely to convince them. repetition is not a bug, it's a feature. whether or not this was conveyed well by the writers is another argument altogether, but yagami's point itself is sound.

truthfully, i think LJ could have benefitted by leaning into what makes this case personally compelling to yagami. if you're not paying attention, the "but sawa sensei" argument can feel pretty flat, but putting emphasis on yagami's experiences would help it feel more rich and justified aside from "innocent people dying is bad" (even though that is a sound argument on its own). he does mention emi, i believe it's only once, so it's not like they don't do it at all, but i would like more. the impact of emi and of JE specifically is that yagami doesn't like to leave things unaddressed when he can do more, and that's clearly a motivating factor here. he won't leave kuwana alone for as long as there is 1. something yagami can do about it and 2. kuwana still intends to keep killing

think about the fact that yagami's parents were killed by someone seeing vigilante revenge, both a deeply personal tragedy, and a life defining event that set him on the path he walks now. leaning more into that would have helped, or at least been interesting, in my opinion. obviously it's not 100% the same since yagami's father was the lawyer and not the accused, but the key parts (vigilante justice + collateral damage) is there. of course yagami is trying to change kuwana's mind. not only does yagami understand kuwana's pain wrt the pain of inaction (yagami's regrets about emi) but he's experienced the aftermath of collateral damage, himself.

of course, yagami's personal experiences are only relevant to us, as viewers. sawa is still the best argument to convince kuwana and reiko (and i can easily imagine reiko brushing yagami off if he talked about his backstory LMAO), so that's what we get. sawa is what matters to them, so sawa is what he will keep reminding them of. that's why the sawa argument is what it is.

we can get into discussions about the inevitable failure of the legal system and what that means for "real justice", but we would never come to a consensus. instead, i think it's better to look at how kuwana and reiko are impacted on a personal level by their actions: neither of them have moved on, even after seeking their justice. they remain stuck in the past. their actions grant them no closure, and robs them of a future (reiko as a politician and mother, kuwana as a humble handyman: but as far as we know, a pretty damn good one considering how well he was able to leverage his connections to avoid being caught this whole time... at least in my opinion)

when kuwana argues, he asks how they should seek justice if legal avenues don't grant it to them. he asks, "what about the reiko kusumotos and akihiko eharas of the world?" he is right to point this out.

when yagami argues, he asks how revenge can be justified if innocents will suffer (and die) for it, even unintentionally. he asks, "what about the yoko sawas of the world?" he is also right to point this out.

there is no easy solution. they both have a point. that's what the story is ultimately about. kaito says it straight up at the end of the game:

well, that's my take. admittedly i'm not as well versed on LJ as some people are, so i could be remembering and paraphrasing some things wrong. i've seen people who really like LJ's writing, and others who straight up hate it LMAO, so yknow, your mileage may vary. hopefully this will at least help you understand the other perspective

if you want to hear another take on the sawa sensei argument, i'll put this here. i drew on it quite a bit while writing this, so yknow, credit where credit is due.

[hauntingblue]

Jayce telling vi she won't make it on her own.... okay mr. projector...

[joyfuladorable]

More art from Twitter! Still on that Rise sapphics train (I will never disembark)

[sysig]

The brainworms are winning, clearly (Patreon)

[totheidiot]

they should give me the ultimate award for homosexuality, seeing as i had spent about twenty minutes trying to put stickers on the face on my crush.

[thornshadowwolf]

I think if you are bad at music and music mixing and making mashups and have no creativity and are unwilling to put effort into making something sound good that maybe you shouldn't consider yourself the standard for what people who do music professionally could achieve.

Update: OP of that post and I have blocked each other about it. Might seem extreme given the way blocking is viewed sometimes but actually it was civil and amicable (well. As amicable as it could be.) They reached out to me because apparently I had commented about this multiple times but had forgotten, so I was really taking it too far, so because I could find the most recent comment I removed it, and we decided to block each other to be sure this wouldn't happen again.

[icewindandboringhorror]

More misc. daily life pictures and such