#and now that i can do that i need the ways to cope with them and i’m just
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༄“I would set the world on fire for you” | LN4 ⟢
Parings: lando norris x gf!reader.
Summary: after the Brazil GP, lando comes home to the worst week of his year. Also, it was his birthday. So even though the world hates him, you wanna make sure he is loved and he did nothing wrong. And that if you could you would set the world on fire for him.
Word count: +5k.
Warnings: written and smau. angst and fluff at the same time. Anxiety attack. Overthinking. Selfhatred. Language. And that’s it. I’m not a native English speaker so there could be (so many) errors. Not proofread.
Author’s note: lately I NEED to write things to cope with my feelings so here it is. Hope Vegas is good to all of my boys 💌 don’t forget to like, reflow or comment! Ur support its way loved here. and follow me so we can be friends :3 (and drink mate together!)
MASTERLIST
Your heart was completely shattered. Your heart was racing to get out of your car at the airport. In exactly 20 minutes your boyfriend will be back home after the worst weekend ever imagined. You couldn't assist the Brazilian GP because of your work schedule. You had a few meetings after Mexico gp. And you felt so guilty about it. You knew lando would be more protected if you were there. At least in the intimacy of you, emotionally speaking. Having someone there for him to hug and to comfort him. to calm his mind. To stop the self hatred you knew it was playing right now in his head.
Lando is an overthinker and you get him because you were also one. You knew to which scenarios his mind can travel to and how painful it can be for him to live with himself sometimes. You were fighting your tears reading all of the atrocious things people commented online. You knew that wasn't real life. But you also knew he would see all that and how that would weigh in his heart. They can never let him win. And the worst part was only because it was just him. Other drivers could do or say worse things and everybody would laugh and brush it off. But when it came to Lando, he was a monster, a loser, an arrogant son of a bitch. That hurt deeply. Because in reality lando is the sweetest soul you have ever met. And you knew how vulnerable he could be. Tho you always admired him for that. You always thought that the bravest and strongest people in this world are the ones that admit to need help, the ones that are vulnerable and open about it. In a world this cruel, that was no easy task. But he did time and time again.and he did even knowing how shitty people were gonna be to him. Though, he did it for people he knew that counted on him. Lando always talks about how people sometimes come to him saying he has saved their lives and the impact he had on them. It's something beautiful yet that weighted on his shoulders as well, you thought.
You crossed the airport gates. Anxiety shaking your whole body. You wanted to hug him so bad. To tell him everything was gonna be fine.
You opened the flight information he sent you before his plane took off so you looked for the probable gate he was coming out of when landed. Even though you were anxious you were also relieved that he was home with you.
After a few minutes passed by, a lot of people started coming out of the door you were waiting for. You started gazing at everyone just to find him. After a bunch of people got out, there he was. One of the last ones to go through the door. When you saw him your body almost came undone. You were out of air for a moment while the two of you got closer. When he is finally within reach, you give him the strongest hug you could. He melted on you, hugging you by your neck. Not much time passed when you heard him crying hid in your neck. Your heart that was shattered, broke immediately. You tighter your grip unto him. He started to sob and you couldn't hold your own tears at that point. You knew he had the worst time on that flight, alone with his cruel thoughts torturing him for hours. And there was nothing that you could do to protect him. You couldn't say a word. There was nothing that you could say that it would make things better right now.
Lando was sobbing and shaking. His levels of anxiety reached a high when he saw you standing there looking for him desperately with your eyes. He needed you. But life’s a bitch and you couldn't stay with him throughout the whole American leg. He came undone in your arms. He needed to hug you for so long. He was broken. His mind replying to all the mistakes he made. All of his wrong decisions. All of the shit he said. He was embarrassed, angry and defeated. He was ashamed of himself. Disgusted. Frustrated and scared.
Yu rubbed his back trying to comfort him in the hug and trying to not cry so you could be the strong one for him. He needed you, you knew it. And you wanted to fix all of this in a snap of fingers, but you couldn't.
“It’s okay baby. You are gonna be alright, I promise. I love you. You’re home now ", Yu said, to make him feel at least slightly better. When he heard you he started sobbing even harder. You let him take all the time he needed. While doing so, you tried to see where you were and how you could, if someone was recording and taking a picture. Fortunately you were almost alone. It was the last flight arriving for today. You feel relieved knowing this won't be used against him by the cruel internet trolls.
(...)
The drive home was silent. No music, no speaking. He didn't even look at you the whole ride. He was looking through the window avoiding any contact with society you thought while driving your Audi R8 V10 GT RWD through the illuminated Monaco streets. It was around 9pm. You had cooked for him some home made pasta you knew he adored. You just wanted him to feel better.
When you got home, he took his bags to the room with your help. You left his second suitcase next to his wardrobe and saw him lying on the bed.
“I made your fav homemade pasta. Do you want me to bring it here and eat it in bed?” you offered him with a soft voice. He was looking to the ceiling. He did not answer right away, but after a few moments he did.
“I'm not hungry, but thank you. Maybe i'll eat later” he said with a deep cracky voice and turned himself in the bed showing you his back. You frowned a bit.
He couldn't look at you. He hated that you could see him like this. He was ashamed of himself drawing in self pity and self hatred. He felt he let you down.
“Aln, did you eat something during the flight at least?” you asked worriedly, walking forward to the bed so you could get closer to him. You sat on the table next to his back looking at him. You didn't want to touch him just because you didn't know if he would want you to. You didn't want to be invasive. You stayed in silence for a few minutes. You understood he didn't eat, that he didn't want to either or speak. So you stood up and let him have his alone time closing the door gently behind your back.
You ate alone that night.in silence just as if you could hear him from your kitchen aisle. The past was really good. You turned off your phone after washing the dishes and tidied the kitchen and living room up. You didn't want to see what social media was saying about your lover before bed. It was already enough scrolling and reading so many people wishing lando to die. That was the hardest part of it all. You left your phone charging on the kitchen counter and went to your shared room. When you entered he was already showered getting into the bed again. You half smiled at him even though he couldn't see you. You put on your pajamas in silence and climbed up the bed. He looked at you while you were getting comfortable next to him.
Your eyes met. Any of you said anything. Just looked at each other trying to read each other thought as if that was possible. He licked his dry lips. His eyes turned glassy.
“I messed everything up,” he said almost in a whisper. Your heart is breaking again. You shook your head at him getting closer and bringing him into your chest. You hugged him tightly.
“No you didnt baby. Sometimes people are just mean, you know? They will interpret things as the wish” you said softly rubbing his back and arm and caressing his hair gently. He felt a bit better under your frame. He felt protected but as a little kid when missbehaved so now he tries to find comfort. He didn't want to cry.he was trying hard not to let tears stream down his cheeks. You kissed his forehead and made him look at you. “I know you dont wanna talk about it but i love and i am so deeply and entirely proud of you” you whisper close to his face. You saw him pout and the first tears coming down his face. You hugged him tightly. He hid in your neck and eventually fell asleep. You wanted to set the world on fire for this. You wanted to ruin every single person who says awful things about it. The comments, the media. You wanted to destroy everything and everyone just to protect him. He doesn't deserve this. He is an angel and you can't believe the world could only see the devil in him.
Lando tried to sleep but he couldn't. Everytime he closed his eyes, all of the tragic scenes from the race replayed in his mind. How the car felt, the rain, the radio messages, Oscar's voice, comments from his engineer . everything replayed in his head torturing him the worst way possible. He felt like getting down. He felt alone and miserable. He remembered Oscar words replying in his mind over and over again. “You will eventually make it, mate”. It was a positive message but he replayed it like a fucking nightmare.
What if he never makes it? What if he doesn't have what it takes? What if people are right? What if he is actually a monster and deserves to die? What if he did? Would they like him again or figure him out? Would anyone care about his feelings? Why does it have to be him and not someone else? Why are they all so cruel to him?
He couldn't stop thinking about every single detail about the weekend. He didn't want to celebrate his birthday anymore. He had you there but couldn't look at you. He felt disgusted by himself. He can't control it. He wants to go back into go karts and stop the time when he was actually happy and having fun with his friends. Now that line between friends and enemies is so blurry for him. Max didn't talk to him like before when all of this shit started. He knew Max was really competitive, of course he did, everyone knew it since day 1. But what about their friendship? Lando shit talked, max shit talked. He felt so confused even by his own feelings around this whole shitty situation or championship situation. Whatever you want to call it.
(...)
When you woke up the next morning he was gone. You felt kind of confused for a bit. You heard him talking so you guessed he was speaking on the phone. When you got up from bed you walked out the room to find him. When you got closer to the living room you knew he was talking to Max on facetime because you heard his voice.
“Morning, guys” you said, getting into the kitchen for some water to take your thyroid pills. Lando looked at you half-smile.
“Good morning baby” he said as sweetly as he could. You smiled at him. Before coming back to your room to shower and stuff you went and gave him a good morning kiss making Max almost throw up when he saw you in a funny way. You showed him the middle finger and disappeared so he could talk in private with his mate. You respected his place a lot. And i guess that’s why you understand so much each other.
(...)
The following day things got worse. Lando hasn't eaten any meal you prepared for him, didn't even want to have take out or anything. You found him crying in the kitchen and in the garden by the pool of your house. His anxiety was killing him, you knew. The desperation and guilt were eating him alive and you didn't know what to do rather than try to talk and comfort him.
He was sitting on the sofa in the living room. His sight was fixed on the floor without moving. You got alarmed because you knew what was going on. You got close slowly to not trigger him even more. His face was red, his hands sweaty and shaking. You sat on the floor diagonal from him looking at him. Slowly and gently you grabbed his hands trying to capture his brain's attention and get him out of the fog he was in. You were almost sure he was having an anxiety attack and he started because of your touch. You gently rubbed your fingers in his hands. He was out of breath for a moment and you got scared so you tried to do as your therapist told you in case someone you know goes through this.
“Lan, can you hear me? Try to pay attention to my voice okay? I'm here and I'm with you dull be alright” you said really softly trying to make him look at you. You looked for his eyes with your gaze. “It’s not as terrible as you think, baby, I promise. You aren't all of those things people comment” you used your words carefully. His hands caught your strength and so you reassured him. You saw his pout becoming deeper. You hurt to see him like this. It was so unfair. He doesnt deserve this, god. And he broke. He broke down again. His tears streamed down his face. Sobbing in so much pain. You sat next to him to hug him tightly once more. But now you knew it was worse. He was shaking under your arms.you let him go through this. So he can let go of all of this shit inside him. “I promise lando, you aren't all of those things. People are just mean and cruel. You are a good baby and so talented. Gifted. You have it in you I promise, I can see it” you tried to comfort him with your words as well, trying to distract your mind from the tragic thought he was dealing with by himself. A few tears fell down your face. It was a hard time. And you were trying to be strong for him.
“I'm so stupid I'm sorry” he sobbed and you shook your head.
“No, Lando, you aren't. I promise okay? Believe me.i know you and you aren't. And this will pass. All the people that know you for real, we love you and we are so proud of you. You had an amazing year. You are fucking fighting a three time world champion, even sooner than he did with lewis back in 2021. That’s huge my love. Your dream is near, I just know it. Because I know you, and you’ll make it, baby. You didn't let anyone down. You're getting stronger so when you finally make it, all of these moments will make it taste so much better and sweeter” you explained while rubbing his back. Your words made an effect on him. Heslowly calming down. He didn't want to let you go. He wanted to just stay there in your arms. Where he felt safe and sound. Noone could hurt him there. That was what made him fall for you. You saw him. You knew him. And you care about him. He was finally important for someone for being lando, and not lando norris formula one driver. His past lovers left him feeling confused whether they loved him for him or their idea of him. You came outta nowhere and blew him away. You were brutally honest, no filter yet so gentle and caring with your words. He thought his perfect girl didn't exist but then there was you, listening to him for hours if he needed to. Giving him the best advice and clearing his perspective. Always cheering him up. Cracking jokes so he could distract and feel relaxed. Heknew he was in love with you the moment you offered to give him a ride because he was drunk as well at a new years party. It was normal but the fact that a stranger could do that for him blew his mind. He never admitted afraid people would think it’s weird. But it is what it is. Your smile ended him right there and when you started cracking jokes he didn't want to live in that damn car for the rest of his life. So here you are 4 years later,and you still be the greatest person in the world and the one who knew him the most. He felt your lips on his forehead. For a moment he thought about leaving racing. What if his life was better without it in it? He could go back to Bristol and be with his friends. With you. Maybe start a family and have a normal job so you could spend each day together. He started crying again at that thought. He loved racing but this year was the hardest yet amazing one.
He finally calmed down after a few minutes in silence. He looked at you with puppy eyes. You caressed his face gently brushing a few tears falling down still.
“Would you be there with me? Could you?” he asked, making you a bit confused. And he noticed. “To the races. I need you there. Please. To every race and when I become a champion,would you be there with me? You could feel he's scared. You half smiled at him melting as his comment.
“Of course I'll be there, baby. I’ll always be there for and with you. If I could , I would set the whole world on fire just for you. Never doubt it, okay?” he nodded and you pulled him closer to give him so many little kisses around his whole face making him gigle a little.
“I love you, y/n” he said looking at you fondly.
“I love you, lando. Everything’s gonna be alright” you said, assuring him and gave a peck on his lips. “Go have a shower and dress cute im gonna take you out on a date before your birthday” you said more lighful to cheer him up and his face lit up.
“Really?” you noddedat him and send him to shower agin funny. Before going with him so yhou both looked facy, you needed to say something to the world. You couldnt stay crossed arms and do nothing about it.
── .✦
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maxfewtrell: I CHOKED
norrisfan: omg thank u queen for this
user45: ur as dumb as he is. you cant defend him. he sucks and thats it darling. don lie to yourself.
── .✦
You turned off your phone once again. You were already so fed up with it all. Let them talk. You were sure they would choke with their own shit eventually.
but continued with the day. Lando was still a little off but he was looking better so maybe he is actually feeling better. You took out to dinner at a restaurant he always dreamed of going to. He was so happy to be there. The food was delicious. It was near the beach though it is colder here so we looked at it through the glass window. You gossip and talk about anything and everything as if everything was alright. And it was a fact it was. Because this is real life. Not social media. A few people stopped you while eating to ask for pictures and Lando said yes every time you even became a photoshoot photographer. Nice people telling him nice things was what he needed right now. Plus, you would never be pissed off by his fans. You were actually grateful for them. Of course, some can be disrespectful but you knew the real one was it. You really embraced Lando's life even though it’s nothing like the life you’d dreamed of to have one day. But he is the boy of your dreams so why would it be a problem.
November, 13th
When the clock hit midnight, the restaurant made a cake for him so we all sang him happy birthday. You chose his favorite type of cake. He giggled all nervous and shy. His cheeks red while his eyes showed a little sparkle while watching the candles. He blew them. You recorded the whole thing and took so many pictures. He thanked the staff and staff of the restaurant and they let you enjoy the cake in comfort. Your heart was full to see him a little back again.
After The restaurant kicked you out because they needed to close, you decided to do a road trip through the mountains of monaco. You always enjoy a good ride with good music and good company. And you also had sex in the car. You kind of guessed he needed to take his frustrations out somehow because you had the rough sex you really enjoyed. He joked it was his best birthday present making you laugh. He was joking again.
“Thank you” he said while gently rubbing your naked chest. You were seated on him. You smiled and leaned for a soft kiss on his lips. You really loved him. And all you wanted for him was happiness and well being. And you would do anything to make sure he is okay.
You came back home and had another round of sex. Enjoying yourselves in intimacy. Lando finally fell asleep after a terrible few days, in the calm of your body. His face on your bare chest. You clothed him and fell asleep relieved.
── .✦
yourusername made a post
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yourusername: What can I say about you? There's no words that can describe your greatness. Or my feelings for you. I'm so grateful you were born on November 13th. 25 years ago my best friend and the love of my life was brought to this world. And sometimes what unfair is that, right? A world that is so cruel to you. A world that doesn't deserve your greatness and kindness nor your attention. You are the greatest son, brother, uncle, friend and lover. Anyone who says otherwise doesn't actually know you. We are all so lucky that you choose us to spend your time on this world with. Thank you for being who you care. For caring about the people you love and making sure we are alright and happy. Thank you for being the light that you are for so many lives. Thank you for being vulnerable. I admire you so much, lan. You are the strongest and bravest human I know. so honest and open. Anyone who says otherwise, actually, doesn't know you. I know this is not the best birthday of your life, but I promise you I'll try to make it better. Thank you for being who you are to me. I promise I see you and I care. You're the love of my life. And I'm so lucky you love me over any other human out there. So happy birthday to the prettiest and most genuine, real, fun, kind, warm person I have the chance to call mine everyday. Hope you have the best day you can have right now. That’s the least you deserve. I love you forever bestie. Don’t ever change.
tagged: landonorris
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── .✦
── .✦
So you had a master plan for Lando's birthday. You went to the Hilton hotel for some coffee with Max and Lando of course. We lied and said pietra couldn't make it because she had a meeting and Lando believed. Truth was, you have contacted all of his friends and arregened flights so everyone could make it to Monaco on time. Pietra was the one in your house. You left her a spare key yesterday evening after coffee with alex. You gave her the directions and the idea of what you wanted while you and Max distracted Lando until 7pm, she decorated the house and received all of his friends. Lando had no clue of what was going on but he was so happy it was the second cake you brought to him. You recorded the moment and seeing him smile made your heart melt.
── .✦
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landonorris: I love you greatest girlfriend there to exist. Thank u for everything and specially for making this day so much better. Ur an Angel ❤️🩹
⤷ yourusername: I love u more Angel ❤️🩹 the least you deserve is to be loved and happy.
User33: 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Landostan: THANK U FOR EXISTING AND TAKING SUCH CARE OF HIM UR A QUEEN I LOVE U WE LOVE U
carlossainz55: ur the best 🫶🏻
⤷ yourusername: te extraño hermano we need to double date with Rebecca again asap!
── .✦
When 7pm came around we all “decided” to go to your house and eat pizza for dinner. Lando even said to me that they could do a stream and have fun for a bit. You agreed and all knowing that wasn't gonna happen. The ride home was so much fun. You spent the 20 minute ride screaming a one direction song from the top of your lungs. You sang Lando ‘through the dark’ And he sang ‘You and i’.it was lovely, Max almost threw up when you kissed. Luckily he was driving so he hadn't watched much of your pda.
You got out of the car trying to play it cool though you were so nervous. You saw Max texting Pietra that you were close.the lights were off. And silent. Your nervousness took over you when you tried to open the door but let the keys fall nervously. Thankfully Max and Lando were discussing which type of pizza they would order. Finally you opened the door, lando behind you and so you turned on the lights.
Everyone jumped from everywhere saying happy birthday in unison. Yoursmile was so big but when you saw lando his smile was even bigger.
“Surprise!” you said and lando was still processing it. But when his friend started hugging him he started crying out of joy. He thought his friends weren't coming this year because of their busy schedule.but that was a lie you made them tell so lando wouldn suspect anything. Fortunately, they all kept the secret safe. Lando was so happy.
You all spent the night playing poker, drinking gin and tonics and surrounded by laughter and love. In the moment, around everybody, you felt lucky to be there. Especially to be in landos life. Everyone was so sweet and good just like him. He deserves the world.
Everyone went home around 2 am. You were exhausted and tipsy at the end of the night. So you put your pajamas on and sled straight on the bed. Lando wrapped his arms around your waist.
“Thank you for everything. It was a great birthday. Thank u for always taking care of me always.you make me the happiest” he said under a whisper looking at you. He looked so gorgeous with that little smile and tired eyes. You stroked his cheek gently, smiling.
“You deserve to be happy darling. You are unstoppable. Better days at work will come,I know.but im grateful that you have so much love surrounding you. I love you” he smiled widely listening to you and leaned to kiss you with so much feelings and passion. You were the greatest thing that ever happened to him and also the greatest decision he has ever made when he asked you out.
── .✦
f1gossipofficial made a post
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f1gossipofficial: here it is @/yourusername at the McLaren garage ready for fp1 cheering for his 4 year boyfriend @/landonorris! Lando was asked about the whole drama around the Brazil gp and his birthday and her statement and he said ‘I’m lucky to have her. I would set the world on fire for her. So yeah. We are the same that is why we work so well. It was a great birthday though. She brought my whole group of friend to Monaco for a poker night so yeah’ also he said that if it wasn’t for her he would’ve collapsed on his overthinking but thankfully she was there. We love a power couple on the grid!! What do we think about all of this? #LasVegasGP2024
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User1873: they are both the same shit tbh
User23: I LOVE THEM GREATEST COUPLE ON THE GRID
User29873: I don’t like lando but she cute supporting him like that. I saw she gave a kiss to him before getting into the car. They seem in love!
⤷ Usrr988: I KNOW TIGHT I THOUGHT I WAS THE ONLY I CAUGHT THAT KISS IN THE OFFICIAL TRANSMISSION
Yourbff: she is the greatest person you would know!! Let’s go lan!!!
User564: Max will win the dwc and NOTHING would change that or move me so
User90: omg she is so pretty
y/nstan: how lucky lando is to have her. She is always the sweetest to all of his fans. And also funny. Such a queen!
User897: where are the pictures of them arriving together????????! I NEED THEM
⤷ user45: so iconic need to marry asap
── .✦
It was the day. The day you were back to media duties. Back to being a target for social media. Back supporting your boyfriend no matter what. You even went on media day to be there for him if he needed it. You chatted with everyone around to entertain yourself while he was doing interviews.
Oscar helped a lot and the whole McLaren team to make Lando feel safe and actually enjoy the weekend. You Were grateful for it. At least they decided not to be dicks in front of his face.
Fp1 was about to start and you were proudly there in the garage to cheer on him. You were also anxious because you felt things almost like him and this competition is rather never racking. You kissed him gently but shortly. A good luck kiss before getting into the car. He smiled widely.
“Go be the best you can be. You’re great” you told him sweetly.
“I'll try my best to impress you,” he replied, letting go of your hand.
“You already do everyday babe” you said smiling making him grin before walking into the car to start the first session of the weekend.
You watched from there how fp1 unfolded hoping this would be a great weekend.
── .✦ FIN
Hope you liked it 💌 if you have any ideas my inbox is open so send your requests!
#lando x reader#lando#lando x y/n#lando x you#lando norris x you#lando norris fanfic#lando norris x reader#lando norris imagine#lando norris#ln4 x reader#ln4#f1 x reader#f1 fic#f1 x female reader#f1 x you#f1 imagine#f1 fanfic#f1
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just finished act 3 and I need more Sevika to cope with my emotions about it :’)
can we get some mundane ways Sevika is obsessed with us? like I gotta believe the tiniest things the reader does make her sit there and gaze and think about how in love she is (as well as probably make her horny). I firmly believe this woman would watch you brush your teeth and be enamored and turned on at the same time 😮💨
(your writings been keeping me sane all throughout arcane btw 🫶)
hehehehe yes
men and minors dni
watching you struggle to clasp your bra in the early morning is one of the strangest things that sevika adores watching you do.
it's by no means attractive. you're still half asleep, contorting your body as you try to get the clasps to align properly and make sure there are no twists in the straps-- but sevika's fucking enamored. she loves the frustrated, sleepy look on your face, she loves the way that you never manage to line the clasps up properly.
she'll usually reach out to help you in your struggle, kissing your shoulders as you sigh and thank her.
"'y need the kind that clasp in the front, love." she chuckles.
"then you wouldn't get your little show every morning." you point out. sevika grins.
"good point."
sevika loves it when you make a mess while eating food.
she loves looking up across the table and finding you grinning, your cheeks puffed out with food, a bit of sauce on your chin or shirt.
she loves pulling you in with an exasperated little chuckle, licking her thumb and cleaning up your mess. "you missed your mouth." she teases. you smile up at her as her thumb's rubbing turns into gentle sweeps across your cheekbone. "you're a mess." she sighs dreamily.
you reach out and dip your finger in the sauce of your dinner, swiping it over your lips. "whoops!" you giggle. sevika grins. "better lick me clean, sev."
she leans in and does just that.
in the mornings, you'll apply sevika's lipstick for her, holding her chin gently between your fingers while you swipe her favorite color over her plush lips.
sevika's favorite part of this whole process isn't the gentle way you hold her, or the soft puffs of your breath on her face. it isn't even the smile and smooch you place on her lips when you're finished to blot them.
her favorite part of this little ritual is the subconscious way you pucker your lips as you trace hers, like you're copying her facial expression.
she thinks it's your way of non-verbally telling her to pucker her own lips, but you never put your lips back once she does, holding your kissy face the entire time you paint her lips, before smiling at your work and actually kissing her.
it drives her fucking crazy.
one night, sevika comes home to find you cooking dinner wearing a big pair of sunglasses. she frowns at you. "'re you hungover or something?" she asks.
"huh?" you ask from where you're stirring the veggies. sevika gently taps the glasses and you giggle, pulling them off your face. "oh, shit! i forgot i was wearing these, i can see so much better now!" you laugh.
sevika grins. "why were you wearing sunglasses inside?" she asks.
"i was chopping onions, i didn't wanna cry." you say with a shrug.
she doesn't know how or why, but your answer makes sevika impossibly horny for you. "oh, fuck, i love you so bad." she groans, pulling you in for a long, sloppy kiss.
you gasp against her lips, only to melt against her, letting her pin you to the counter top and kiss the breath out of you.
by the time sevika pulls away, your stirfry's burnt.
you don't mind, though.
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Excuse me? Oh no
Part 1 - curiosity
platonic!yandere!batfam x reader
Warnings: this was made with MALE reader in mind but please interpretate the gender however you like, the reader here is minor coded but no confirmed age, invasion of privacy, out of character depictions, this is a joke fic but taken seriously, mentions of kidnapping, no beta we die like jason
Dividers by aquazero
(this is a series) part one (your here) , part 2 , part 3, part 4
PLOT: you were given a phone, but your "family" can't help but feel nosy about your own privacy
You hate it here. There was no doubt to that, you have been held hostage by the Wayne's for a couple of months now and it was terrifying AND somewhat annoying. You don't these guys, you haven't met them until like when you were kidnapped, it was horrible.
They promised you can have boundaries, they broke those, privacy, you don't know they don't actually allow that, you felt like they were trying to be as considerate to you as possible for you to stay and you can't help but be in sort of awe, they are your kidnappers and despite their possessive and terrifying tendencies you felt like they geniuely cared for you (you didn't even wanna be here), so to cope with this situation you do what other people do- staying on social media.
Bruce gave you a new phone a few weeks ago and you have been obsessively using it so you could feel you have security again, not ideal nor healthy but hey, what else is there? You found a way to log in into your old Tumblr and/or Wattpad account, obviously you were trying to hide th fact from the bat family, you would be lectured for hours! So you tried to keep it in a down low, removing every search, hiding apps, deleting shit is saddening but it's for your safety and security.
Damian. He was the first to notice you spending much more time on your phone recently and as the little as he is, he tries peeking behind on what your doing but can't see clearly but he sees words? No texting- what is it your reading? "What is that?" He asked with a raised eyebrow and weirdly stern tone of voice, you flinched and quickly existed the app "o-oh! nothing." You are horrible at lying when it comes to Damian, he makes you feel.. uneasy.
Damian wasn't convinced as expected and he tries to grab the cellular device in your hand and with your idiotic instincts you slapped his hand away, he gasps and he turns irritated. That wasn't your best move. "How could you? All I want is to make sure you're safe and this is how you react?!" He huffs and now you're scared, like they are always so unpredictable when they are mad.
"i-im sorry." You apologized, you wish that Damian doesn't convince Bruce to put you back in the white room. It was torture, Damian scoffs and walks away, you were left shaking, what happened just now..? You just went back reading a stupid FNAF fic to calm your nerves (you are such a weirdo)
It was dinner time, you were eating in the so called "room" you were in everyday, Bruce said you weren't ready to eat at the dinner table, whatever that means. Alfred bought you your food, you thank him and he left, is the grandpa okay?
As you eat you listen in the conversation in the dinner table, "When will we ever have them eat over here?" Seemingly to be Dicks voice, he was the one that seemed to be the most clingy to you. "When they are ready." Bruce said to him in a stoic tone. You continue to listen in..
"Father, there's something I feel that needs your attention." Damian announces, oh no what is he going to do? Bruce perks his attention to Damian with the 'hm?' sound. "I feel that Y/N is hiding something from us. Just today they slapped my hand away when I asked." He said recalling the event from earlier.
Tim who was also here (don't forget him) looks confused "like what?" He asked, Damian always seemed so dramatic about you to Tim, Damian gave an annoying sigh "Their phone! They might be hiding something in their phone!" He shouted, "they shouldn't be keeping secrets from us, were family!" He continued to argue
Oh god.
"Damian calm down, I will handle this little situation later, if they are hiding something they aren't supposed to they are going back to the white room." Bruce exclaimed and/or added.
"Doesn't that seem a bit extreme Bruce?" Jason teased with a smirk in response with Bruce's statement, Jason may present himself as the most normal and gives you a lot of freedom but he is just as controlling and possessive as the others.
"of course not, it's for their own good." Jesus Christ he is so ominous and cryptic. This is the same guy that is seen as a good billionaire?, the family continue to eat and banter
While they were eating, you were stuck in a position, when Bruce mentioned the "white room" you don't wanna go back, you don't wanna go back. That place was awful. Your privacy is not valued.
They don't care about you, they just think they do. what can you even do?
#this took too long#yandere!batfam#yandere!batfam x reader#m!reader#rare m!reader win#batfam#batfamily#tim drake#bruce wayne#dick grayson#damian wayne#damian al ghul#jason todd#batboys#yandere!batboys#platonic#im procastinating#dude.#yandere#yandere stories#fanfic#platonic yandere#batsib!reader#IM SO SORRY YOU GUYS :((#yandere batfam
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honestly thinking about the sonadow twitter takeover and how the plummeting to earth thing very much affected Sonic a lot more than it affected Shadow. like in a previous takeover Shadow even made it a positive memory about Sonic trying to save him.
Meanwhile in Prime, Sonic has a moment of saving Shadow from falling into the void that's very reminiscent of that other fall (in the same way Prime has a lot of motivations and references that only make sense from a fandom insider perspective).
Sonic also gets repeatedly tilted, loud and anxious, (which I'm pinning more on RCS's/whatever writer's sense of humor, as is all the voice acting gags) and is coping badly any time Shadow comes out ahead. I think Sonic's insistence on his ability to grow chest fur is as big a Cope as floaties=fashion statement.
But really, Sonic's repeat date suggestions and Shadow's own descriptions of Sonic's behavior (dragging out their races, etc "just to annoy me") reads, whether romantically or platonically, that Sonic just really wants to spend time with Shadow.
He feels he needs to justify it, though, insisting that he and Shadow have something other than occasionally getting in each other's way ("two sides of the same coin") (friendly competition being "why you keep me around-" seemed like odd wording to me).
Needing to make it meaningful, because that's what Shadow wants out of a relationship- Shadow /says/ he dislikes Sonic for being frivolous and inauthentic, that (for instance) his hugs don't mean anything, and that he doesn't want "(Sonic's) kind of hug."
Sonic really wants to spend time with Shadow because he's also intimately aware that that time is limited. Either Shadow's patience (and/or social battery) is limited and he's liable to make a batman exit if he doesn't want to be somewhere (not that we've ever seen Shadow do this in canon, he seems to awkwardly/quietly hang around as if he doesn't realize he can just hit the bricks (or he likes being there and has no idea how to express it re: smiling at Big the Cat) ), Or Sonic and Shadow will get caught up in their own lives again and not see each other until Fate Deigns to Allow Them to Cross Paths Once More.
And Sonic misses him.
(This ties in with my Sonic Frontiers is the Saddest Game Ever posting from a while back, too. Sonic is lonely AF and Needs Other People to Talk To or he'll start talking to the walls and robots, and Shadow will almost always either talk back or groan in exasperation, which is as good a reaction as any.)
All this, plus Sonic's opinion flip-flops (shopping with Amy vs shopping with Shadow, opinion on Orbot) could be either (Sonadow Optimist) Sonic is Down Bad and not even conscious of his mirroring Shadow/trying to appeal to Shadow, or (Sonadow/overall Pessimist) Sonic trying to appeal to the Most Popular Character Right Now and getting increasingly desperate as he is rebuffed.
A few of these Twitter Takeovers have had moments of Sonic in particular getting thrown off and not really able to recover. (which makes me question what the writing is like, if there's any at all and these VA's aren't just riffing on an outline. Considering they don't talk over each other constantly, there must be something like a script, but it also does occasionally feel like a bad roleplay (and I've been a bad roleplayer).) It leads to a Something Is Wrong feeling in the "We're doing this for fun" question-answering joke show. Sonic needs therapy. (We all need therapy.)
Meanwhile, Shadow really is pulling out all the grunts, groans, and whines with Sonic that, if scripted, would be egregious as hell to read or write. He doesn't make these noises in the games (or shows, really?) mostly because there's a sort of efficiency necessary to production that cuts out that interpersonal realism and partly because it's annoying? Shadow, you're the annoying one?
Unrelated, everybody latched on to Sonic's "Go off, King" but nobody even noticed Shadow's "Deal With It."(sunglasses drop) How soon we forget the sacred texts and/or the deep magic, I guess? (It's an old meme, but it checks out!)
#sonic the hedgehog#shadow the hedgehog#sonadow#I dont accept the twitter takeovers as canon#there is no lore here- just corporate sponsored voice actor engagement content#fandom is about fun though so have fun with it#angst i guess#im working on a thing that started in the mid-00s and every New Thing that happens in the Sonic Franchise is an additional rock in my shoe#that I have to debate whether it fits into the project or not and if it does then am i a sellout for including it#or will I ruin my readers suspension of disbelief if I throw it out#i think too much therefore the thing remains unfinished#longpost#long post
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Can you do reader that has SH scars or Them finding out that reader SH's
With Sol & Hyugo..!
But it's ok if you don't do it since its a sensitive topic!
tw: sensitive topics, self harm
a/n: can't decide which format i want to use for these kind of requests. thank you for the request <3
important note: if you're struggling with sh, please tell someone you trust or seek help. i do not know you, but i know that you are not alone in this. i hope things get better for everyone who's reading this:)
SOL:
Reader still does sh:
Oh, he's worried. Extremely worried. How could he not notice all this time? How could he not notice his darling was in pain? He feels horrible. Whether he discovers it accidentally or not, rest assured he won't pressure you into anything. He'll listen to your story and problems when you're comfortable and ready. He'll pull you into a hug while holding back tears. He's been through some shit and he knows how it feels. But he never wants to see it happen to you. If you're doing this because of someone, Sol will make sure they're taken care of. You don't have to worry <3 If it's because of something else and more personal, it's okay. He'll be with you till the end of time. From now on, he makes it his mission to watch over you more closely whenever he can, no matter how unethical. He's more subtle this time, though. He doesn't need you stressing even more.
He's still worried. And also a little upset. That was from a long time, wasn't it? You didn't know him back then. He wonders if he could've comforted you out of it, held you in his arms while you weeped. If only he could turn back time... Alas, there's other things to worry about. He's glad to hear that you're recovering, and you promised to never do it again. He'll help you on your journey. Sol isn't the most mentally stable himself, so I don't think he'll be much help either lol but for you? He's searching and making lists of healthy coping mechanisms he can give you. Thinks your scars are beautiful. He hated how it was made, but now it has faded and all that remains is the symbol of your strength and the fact you've made it this far despite being in an extremely tough situation. He'll kiss you on the forehead and tell you how proud he is. How happy he is.
Reader has sh scars (recovering):
HYUGO:
Reader still does sh:
He's very mysterious. I find it hard to write for him. Hyugo feels a mix of emotions wash over him when he discovers it. Shock, sadness and anger. Shocked, because like Sol, he couldn't believe he didn't notice anything until now. Sadness, because he couldn't imagine the pain you went through to resort to such thing. Anger, at himself and anyone or anything that caused you pain. He knows he can't use jokes or happy things to lighten up the mood like he usually does. Instead, he gently guides you to his arms and wraps you in a warm embrace. He'll whisper comforting words while you tell him things that have bothered you and asked you to promise him you'll never hurt yourself again and in return, he'll help you heal. You're hesitant. You didn't want to feel indebted to him, but he insisted. His determination made you embarrassed so you agreed. Since then, he's been extra caring (but not overbearing) to you and made sure to check in on you every chance he gets. If somehow he doesn't get to see you for the entire day, he'll call you in the middle of the night to ask about your day and it ends up being a long session of late night talks. Or he could just knock on your door and you'd let him in anyway. He knows he can't entirely prevent bad things from happening, but he can help lessen it for you. He'll be your sunshine, where you'll never feel miserable again under his bright smile. Of course, you do the same for him. You help each other out in your own ways eventually
Reader has sh scars (recovering):
When he first saw it, he didn't overreact or give a strong reaction. He smiles softly and grabs your hand, praising you for getting through your problems and even start to recover. It's something not many people are strong enough to do especially in your situation, but you did. And he makes sure to emphasize that. You guys end up sharing each other's experiences and stories (mostly you, he's still secretive and doesn't want to reveal anything bad) and find things you two relate to. He's overall a chill guy to have around. He won't make a big deal out of it if you don't and it's honestly really comforting. You don't notice it but he's secretly a little more cautious and gentle with you. He makes sure nothing hurts you again.
#its 2am again and im writing this knowing i have a busy schedule tomorrow#man do i love procrastinating#i hope this wasn't too weird or sensitive for anyone#i only based this from my personal experience and what I would've wanted to happen if i had someone with me#if there's anything i could improve pls tell me<3#the kid at the back vn#visual novel#tkatb vn#tkatb x reader#male yandere#tkatb_vn#solivan brugmansia#tkatb sol#tkatb hyugo#tkatb hyugo x reader#tkatb sol x reader#tkatb solivan x reader
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Feeling Overwhelmed? You're Not Alone. Let's Talk About It..
I know we all go through it. You’re balancing school, friends, family, and everything else, and suddenly, it feels like you're carrying the weight of the world. Lately, I've been feeling burned out, overwhelmed, and like everything is piling up at once. With school stress, exams, and the constant pressure to keep up, I sometimes feel like I can’t breathe. It's exhausting, and I'm sure some of you feel the same.
It’s so easy to get stuck in the cycle of trying to do everything perfectly. Every time you think you’ve got it under control, something else comes at you, and you’re back to square one and YES THIS IS ANNOYING!!!. It's like there’s a never-ending list of things to do, and no matter how hard you work, you never seem to catch a break.
And the worst part? The pressure from others. Whether it's friends, classmates, or even family, there's always someone asking you for help. Sometimes I feel like I’m the go-to person for everything—assignments, questions, last-minute requests. And don’t get me wrong, I want to be helpful, but it can get draining. Especially when you're trying to hold it together and just need a little space for yourself
For example:Today I couldn’t catch a break already stressed about exams, and in desperate need of rest. Just as I sat down to breathe, the calls and messages started.
One of my classmates began spamming me with messages, asking about a history and geography exam date that we ALL already knew. Then, another classmate began asking for English assignment answers. She wouldn’t stop. She kept sending, “Hi, hi, hi, hi…” over and over until I caved and responded.When I finally sent her the answers, her response? “Ahh, what would I do without you? You’re a lifesaver!” And while I know she meant it kindly, it felt so heavy I feel guilty. What about MY life? What about my peace?
In that moment, I realized how much I was giving to others and how little I was leaving for myself. I was pouring all my energy into helping everyone else while I was running on empty
And plus I’ve been in those moments when you’ve studied hard for an exam, thought you’re finally catching up, and then suddenly—a change happens. A test gets rescheduled, an assignment gets pushed to the last minute, and it feels like everything you worked for was just... wasted. I get it. And it’s okay to feel frustrated and angry about it. You’re allowed to feel this way. It doesn’t make you weak, it makes you human.
But here’s something I’ve been reminding myself lately: I am not responsible for everyone else's stress. It’s okay to say no, it’s okay to take a break, and it’s okay to not always have everything figured out. Taking care of yourself isn’t selfish; it’s necessary.
Here 5 Tips That Are Helping Me Cope with Stress and Burnout
1. Set Boundaries and Protect Your Energy: I’ve learned that it’s okay to say no. If someone’s asking for help, and you’re already feeling stretched thin, it’s okay to tell them, “I can’t right now.” You can’t pour from an empty cup, and you deserve your time and energy as much as anyone else does.
2. Don’t Overload Yourself—Take It One Step at a Time: Break your tasks into smaller, more manageable chunks. Don’t try to do everything at once—focus on one thing at a time. It makes the workload feel less daunting and more achievable. One task, one hour at a time.
3. Rest is Not a Luxury, It’s a Necessity: Sometimes we push ourselves too hard because we think we’ll get behind if we take a break. But if you don’t rest, you’ll burn out. Give yourself permission to step away, even for just 10 minutes. Watch a comforting youTube video, take a walk, or close your eyes. A little time for yourself can give you the energy to come back even stronger.
4. Talk About Your Feelings—Don't Bottle It Up: If you’re feeling overwhelmed, don’t keep it inside. Talk to someone, whether it’s a friendu trust family member, or even just writing in a journal like I do ..Putting your feelings into words can make a huge difference. It clears your mind and helps you see things from a new perspective.
5. Make Time for Self-Care: It’s easy to forget to take care of yourself when everything is going wrong. But self-care isn’t just about face masks and bubble baths (although that helps!). It’s about doing things that recharge you—reading, listening to music, or even just doing nothing. Find what makes you feel lighter and make time for it.
Let’s Take the Pressure Off Ourselves.
I know the world often tells us we have to be constantly productive, constantly moving forward. But the truth is, you don’t have to hustle all the time. It’s okay to slow down, take a breather, and focus on your well-being. The world will still be there when you're ready to take the next step. You are not a machine pookie. You are human, and you deserve peace.We’re not alone in this, even though it sometimes feels like we are. Everyone’s going through something, and sometimes just knowing that you’re not alone in your struggles can make a huge difference.Remember, it’s okay to not have it all together. It’s okay to be tired, to feel burnt out, to not always know what’s next. Life is hard, but you’re still here, still fighting, and that’s something to be proud of. I'm so proud of you
© bloomzone
#bloomivation#bloomdiary#becoming that girl#glow up#wonyoungism#wonyoung#dream life#it girl#creator of my reality#divine feminine#it girl affirmations#it girl energy#stay focused#study blog#study motivation#self confidence#self growth#self love#self development#self improvement#self healing#to do list#alone but not lonely#happiness#boundaries#get motivated#girl blogging
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Need to cope with everything that happened in Arcane and formulating an AU where everything goes well without Vi having to die because I need Vi and Powder happy damn it! But thinking back that first episode and where things could have diverged and maybe when Powder finds the crystals she shares her discovery which leads to everyone arguing over whether they should take them because on the one hand they look valuable and on the other hand they could be dangerous and they're so loud about it they don't hear the door open until its too late. Now Jayce and Cait get to discover them inside the apartment and everyone just freezes. Cait wants to get the enforcers to deal with it but Jayce gives a very empathetic NO because he's fucking around with things he should not be fucking around with.
The kids definitely pick up on the fact that Jayce doesn't want the enforcers involved which I'm sure Vi would be using to try to get everyone out of their without getting arrested while Cait is like Why not?? Jayce is trying to deal with Vi and Mylo and Claggor while also trying to dodge Cait's increasing questioning because why can't they just get the enforcers. Powder ends up inspecting the big blackboard in there and asks some insightful question or draws some conclusion from it because Powder is Smart which gets Jayce totally distracted because Powder gets his nerd brain working, kinda abandoning the situation at hand to talk to her about what he's doing.
This devolves into Vi bargaining for Powder to get into one of the fancy Piltover schools or else Vi is totally going to rat Jayce out for what he's doing and Jayce is already a scholarship kid basically so he can't really do that but he does offer to teach Powder what he can himself which is acceptable enough and lets the kids pride be soothed because they feel like they got something out of their trip to the upper city. Meanwhile Cait is still freaking out because what do you mean you're going to let them go Jayce, they're thieves! This is probably about the time Vi calls Cait cupcake and Cait turns red for Multiple Reasons and also probably awakens something in her and Cait just gets super flustered and she and Vi start antagonistically flirting.
Anyways everyone parts ways after this with Vi probably pocketing one of the crystals as insurance to blackmail Jayce with in case he tries to renege on the deal. This is then the start of Powder and Vi coming to the upper city for Powder to get lessons from Jayce which mostly consist of the two of them studying hextech and making a lot more strides than Jayce was doing just on his own while Vi just stays there because she's not just going to leave her little sister alone with a stranger and Cait shows up because she doesn't trust these under city kids and also maybe wants to see Vi again and Cait and Vi spend the whole time basically flirtatiously sniping at each other while Jayce and Powder nerd out.
Claggor and Mylo are covering for the girls back in Zaun but eventually Vander finds out what's going on and how the kids even ended up making a deal with some upper city scholar and just kind of has to put his head in his hands because what are these kids doing but also kinda impressed because they went in there to steal and walked out having strong armed someone into giving Powder a semi proper education. Still Vander wants to meet the guy who's teaching his daughter even if he knows Vi wouldn't let her little sister within 15 feet of a creep.
This is also about the same time that Heimerdinger notices Jayce being exceptionally tired lately and manages to get Jayce to admit he's taken on tutoring a kid in his spare time. Heimerdinger is ecstatic that Jayce has discovered a love of learning and wants to meet whoever this young pupil Jayce has taken a shine too though he doesn't want Jayce to burn out. Once Jayce explains he's teaching the kid because she's from the under city, Heimerdinger definitely wants to meet the kid and offer them a place at the academy if they're up to snuff especially considering how talented his assistant Viktor is. Viktor who was in the area at the time of this conversation definitely takes note that Jayce avoided all of Heimerdinger's questions about what he was working on.
Anyways this all leads to Jayce and Heimerdinger taking a trip down to Zaun to meet with Vander and Powder and the rest of the kids too which leads to Heimerdinger meeting Claggor and Ekko who he sees as having a lot of potential too and then I don't really know where things go from there. But I think Heimerdinger who's on the council talking to such a central community figure in Zaun like Vander would really open his eyes and make Heimerdinger realize that there is a lot that can be done to help the under city and I think Vander would be willing to work with him unlike some other people *cough* Silco *cough*. The fact that Vi is looking like the future Mrs. Kiramman would also probably lead to Cassandra and Vander meeting which has a lot of potential to make things happen.
Also please imagine the worlds most awkward meet the family dinner between the posh Kirammans and Vi's incredibly weird found family. The hijinks alone are endless not to mention the drama that would probably unfold there. Especially if Vander and Silco end up reconciling for whatever reason and now you got a council member and a chem baron sharing a dinner table.
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Do you think Katara could have loved Zuko before he got his scar? Let me explain: do you see the episode in season 1 where we discover Aang and Zuko's past?We have a Zuko we hadn't seen before: he wanted to save the crew, he showed himself as a hero, brave and compassionate. We know that Katara is attracted to people like that. Who seeks to help people (even if it was the Fire Nation), it was still a crew that was going to die for a vain sacrifice.
Zuko stood up to the leaders, just as Katara stood up to Pakku to defend the other women of the tribe; it's a small parallel that could have connected them. In that moment, I could say that maybe if Katara had met Zuko at that time, she might have been attracted to his devotion and his need to protect others.
Because I dug into the series to find out when Katara could have fallen in love with Zuko, and ultimately, I don't find any attraction between them. Because after Zuko's father disfigured his face, it created a trauma in him and changed him: not that the brave and compassionate Zuko no longer exists, but the trauma matrixed him, made him change... That's when I see the attraction between Katara and Zuko more clearly.
Zuko, after his banishment, became very angry, rarely smiled, withdrawn, and very emotional, which sometimes hurt those close to him. (emo, si je peux dire). But over the seasons, he gradually changes.
Even after he joined the gaang, he is still somewhat the same person, but with more sensitivity and more open to others.
Now, tell me how, in all that I just mentioned, Katara would have an attraction to Zuko with all the intrigues that have happened, Ba Sing Se, the North and South (1 s) and so on...
Maybe her awkwardness in communicating with others is charming in her personality?
His physique?
His way of being clumsily intentional?
But guess who is the person who was attracted to Zuko with the three points I just mentioned: Jin
I find that Zutara fans try too hard to force a connection so that Katara can fall in love with Zuko when there isn't one. Or it's because they themselves have a crush on Zuko, which is normal, but they want Katara to fall in love with him because he is the ideal model for a girl. While rejecting Katara's needs and her personality,
1 - Pre-scar Zuko was already raised to be an imperialist that would do things like laugh at a joke about Ba Sing Se being burned to the ground, and yes, objected to HIS soldiers getting killed, but not the literal war and genocide his nation and family had been engaging in for a whole century. Katara isn't gonna be impressed by his compassion towards the people of his nation when he has none for the other nations - including her own.
2 - Pre-scar Zuko was already being negatively affected by being raised by a parent that was emotionally and verbally abusive towards him (and agreed to MURDER him, leading to his mother's disappearance/"death"). He isn't being openly hostile to everyone around him, but he is already a victim, traumatized and coping poorly by trying to "earn" not only his father's love but the basic right to not be his punching bag - by supporting his evil actions. Katara's potential empathy for the unfair situation Zuko was in wouldn't blind her to the fact he is being unfair to others too, just look at how fast she turned against Jet.
3 - Lack of compassion might be a deal-breaker for Katara, but someone not being a cruel bastard is not enough to make her fall in love with someone - if it were, she would have had feelings for half the cast. Compassion is the bare minimum for her not to HATE someone, not for her to LOVE them.
4 - Katara likes effortlessly cool/charming guys, that's Jet (literally) sweeps her off her feet, and why she's all over Aang when he's being the cool guy in cave party in "The Headband" but is FURIOUS at his awkwardness and cluelessness in "Cave Of Two Lovers." She would NOT appreciate Zuko's dorkiness and he would not appriciate her getting mad at him for it.
5 - Katara met the new and improved Zuko, who, despite his flaws, was kind, regretful, compassionate and willing to do what was right and, more importantly, keep his own bad behaviors in check, which Katara does appreciate. Yet not only did she still not fall in love with him, she treated him the same way she treats Sokka, her brother.
6 - While Jin was certainly charmed by Zuko being hot, as well as pure of heart and dumb of ass, we cannot really use her as basis for comparisson to LOVE. She didn't even know his real name, let alone understand who he is a person. MAI loved him. When he was an innocent, sweet child. When he was a moody, kind of asshole teen. When he was an honorable, brave, wise young man. Mai is the one who loves every version of Zuko, not Jin, and surely not Katara.
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frank with someone who's very independent but actually pretty anxious inside? a person who can talk and appear pretty confident but really is super shy and quiet if you got to know her really. I just feel like he's pick up in that so early, doing chores for you he knows you don't like to do. AND when he finally gets you in bed and sees how shy you are he's shocked at the difference
OH. EM. GEEEEEEEE.
girl the way i could talk about this for hours im literally on my phone and im about to spit out all my headcanons on this (probably 700+ words on this, eyeballing)
if ur here for smut i have it bolded where it starts from
we all know, no shit, frank has UNHEALTHY habits. like man will rely on the fucking force and will power to get through his day, but the second it’s anyone else? it’s all of a sudden “nah, you knew you were hurting urself and you let it slide? nah you don’t hurt someone i love.” dhhdjeuxhdj man just fuck me on the wall don’t you
and i’m assuming like this is a reader who knows how to cope with that anxiety, just getting through her day and pulling through till she can curl up next to him at the end of the night, wanting sleep so she can just shut everything out for a second till the next day
NOW ME PERSONALLY. THIS FITS ME SO WELL. everyone assumes im an extrovert bc of how much i like to talk to people and openly try new things, BUTTTT if you were really close to me, you’d know how much i’d like to step back and let someone else take the wheel, how much i’d CRAVE it.
i’d be friending all night and day for a chance to just let someone control me (frank castle, baby, WHERE YOU ATTTT)
i think frank would clock you out so GODDAMN QUICK. in his life? false walls, fake personalities, they don’t work out. he’s gotta know who’s who at the very instant he meets them.
see you may think you’re masking your anxiety pretty well, or that you’re hiding this shyness great with conversation and such, but he notices. maybe it’s the way you tug on your sleeve, play with your rings, sway back and forth in a comforting rhythm just waiting to get by yourself again.
and here is our conundrum- frank castle knows you.
he all of a sudden knows the big ol secret that you’ve been covering for a while, because what the fuck? being vulnerable? huh? what’s that?
and it just shoots up from there, everytime you’re around him before you start dating, he starts doing little things to ease your anxiety.
maybe you’re getting food with your friends, he guides you in with the rest of the group, gets a table and gets everyone situated, and all of a sudden he’s telling you about this amazing dish on the menu that you’ll like, so you don’t have to worry about ordering. your fav drink? already memorized for last time. what? you need to book a ride back home? tf he just standing there for, “c’mon little lady, i gotchu covered.”
it’s so fucking pleasing to be around, relieving to experience, and just so perfect that you don’t notice he’s doing it on purpose, for you.
by the time you start dating, there’s so much trust built upon that foundation— yes, you can get bold and sassy time to time, but he knows at the end of the day, you want to be held. you want to just be held so tight like the rest of the world would fall apart if you didn’t, you want to feel like every seam is about to start floating apart if he doesn’t get those huge arms around you right there and then, squeezing like a weighted blanket, like a safe haven in the midst of everything
(i’m so fucking single someone hold me)
any time he’d notice your anxiety tics, like your hands kneading themselves in your lap, all of a sudden observing the lights in the middle of a conversation, oh he’s step right in, getting close to your ear so you could feel his presence around, so you could correlate the moment you felt safe and maybe trick your brain into giving into the warmth js for a second if he could help
“smthn the matter? talk to me hun”
right, but you being you, you get all people pleasing, lighting up your face with that years-of-practice smile and answering brightly enough that it tricks most people
frank being the only exception, taking your answer if your in public and reapproaching alone, or if it’s in public and it’s someone else bothering you, oh he’s be so quick to pluck you out of that place like a daisy.
already planning getting your favorite drink and someone to sit and talk so you don’t feel like you wasted a day, tf was that supposed to mean anyways, wasting a day? with a face like that? ain’t a day wasted when he woke up next to that face resting next to him.
if you’re the person to feel anxiety from just a messy house, he wouldn’t even complain. by the time you got home, the dishes are already out of the sink and arranged
the counters decluttered, and at least the bed is made. it puts your mind to ease when you don’t have to do it after your day, able to just toe your shoes off and run for a hot warm shower and then get started on dinner
if you didn’t want to make dinner, he’s already tying his apron or calling up take out (where tf does he get his money from? ion kno)
if ur like me, you like to make dinner in a clean kitchen bc u can play music, dance around and get stuff chopped up, cooked up, smelling good and tasting even better and it’s a control that seems small, but it just lets you…quiet. it’s a process but it’s not tedious, it’s healing, yknow.
he’s come up behind you, those large hands on your hips (fucking veiny, large, calloused hands on your hips, fingers splayed with and across the skin, the balm to your jittery energy, the still you need to stop moving so much, the need for your desires, god, i could write headcanons about those hands itself)
anyways. he’s deeply inhaling with his head crooked down to rest on your shoulder while he peers into whatever you were making, listening attentively, letting you get into the whole works of it.
you babble mindlessly while you cook, here and there breaking into dance from the music playing, and frank all but indulges you, letting you have your little bubble in this home, if not here then where?
ok, shut up starry, she came here for the fun stuff, stop projecting ur domestics canons onto them
(cri)
ladies and gentlemen of the jury, i plead guilty. pls have frank castle fuck me. matt is my lawyer he’s a very good one, tell em matt tell em how much i need frankie to bend me over
(matt sighs from the table: this is a parking ticket.)
now before yall got intimate for the first time, he knows you’re a tease, it’s an easy joke that spills out, oh yeah you’ve observed it people love to gaffaw at those kinda jokes, and you love to please some people.
and even with him, the stupidest things, and you’re a tease about it.
you’re kissing maybe, or maybe you just feel the energy, and you’re already yapping off going on and diffusing tension building inside you, it’s not anxiety but you can’t quite pinprick it yet. he makes you feel alive, but it’s new and you try to rid of it
oh but he gets your quiet real quick doesn’t he. all it takes is a “look at me, don’t hide. let me see your eyes.”
FUCK. GODDAMMIT. HOLY MAMA HAVE MY BABIES.
eye contact is SO HARD when you’re strung up, the thought of someone looking into you seeing you when you’re not your perfect self, it’s horrifying. yet he loves you so; maybe even more when that smug smile rests at his lips, pulling you by the chin back in for a smile.
yall haven’t even taken your clothes off yet, oh he’s gonna get a kick outta this
and we all know we’d already be wet as a slip n slide at this point, but he’s a gentlemen so he takes his sweet ol time with foreplay, lips on your skin while he unhooks your bra with one hand (my favorite party trick you geezer, js for me?) and all of a sudden you’re huffing and soft pants when his hands grasp at your chest, squeezing, with those hands, rough and yet measured delicately, oh he knows how to string you apart like that, you’re not moaning yet, but it takes you by surprise, your breaths are ticking up at the end, you like this so damn much
but frank is nothing if not a clever bastard, he makes you say it. “u like that? cmon, say it, hun. tell me to keep going, tell me you like that.”
yessir yessir yessir. god you can’t even look him in the eyes, mesmerized by the way everything feels that you trying to tuck yourself into him, wanting everything, wanting closeness, wanting him.
you’d end up murmuring something out, and he’d respond that he could hear you actually, insist on the fact (except he could hear the change in your breath from at ease to anxious? sure.)
he wouldn’t stop pressing against you, a soft roll of his hips before you could even start your second attempt at the sentence, effectively shutting you up and going “m cmon, lemme hear you.”
he’s not talking about you talking anymore
franks not stopping till you’re practically whimpering that it feels good, that he should keep going, shaking like a leaf, so he shushes you up, making quick work of the clothes, and kissing you brainless
“mm so quiet hunny? where’d my big-talking girl go, huh?”
MY GIRL 😫
(i have issues i know pls move along)
now he’s got you on your back, or pressed against the headboard, anywhere where he pries your legs apart, a kiss to your soft inner thighs as a thanks, one hand splayed across your hip and the other trying to work you open and loosen you up.
your eyes are skirting around, going here and there and trying to find a place to rest, practically blaring in your head DO NOT look down there; do NOT look up at him; Do NOT look at those damn muscle chiseled shoulders; the LAMP. yes. the lamp, very sexy, just focus on the lamp.
aw he’s having none of that, two fingers deep inside of you, not yet touching your sensitive soft clit, the sounds lewd and slick. knuckles deep, hitting places u physically couldn’t with his thicker longer fingers, grinning softly at your hesitance of where to look. that damn smile is what got you into this mess in the first place
“hun, look, look at me, ok? nah nunna that thinking nonsense, just look at me…n feel—yeah, you like that? right there? good girl, lemme hear you.”
you’re trembling, you’re gone coming after all that, eyes catching his and struggling still, but it’s his girls first time with a man good as him, he’s gotta let it slide. (oh he’s just a sucker for you)
once he’s successfully got you coming the first time, he’s gone. driven mad. you got this sheer coat of sweat painting your skin like a painting, eyes twinkling while they look up at him with expectations that he’s going to more than fulfill, hands propping herself up while he slides a pillow under her hips, so damn vulnerable and soft and fucking willing for him, willing to put up with his bullshit and his paranoia, trusting him and letting him control the moment, letting him soothe you, your need, it’s all driving him mad.
MADLY IN LOVE MWAHHAHAHAHAH (i am so sorry everyone i am not a serious person)
he knows you’re more sensitive cause you just came, and every stretch, every touch, feels like bliss exploding across your skin. it makes you so damn beautiful in his eyes
your hands are so small on him, anchoring onto his bicep or his shoulders, finding some place to hold onto while he fucking rails you into that bed
you know what getting hit by a freight train is like? me neither, but franks hotter than one anyways so who tf cares.
he’s got you gasping. hes got you there.
and all that sass, the attitude, teasing you gave him? worth every damn second of this. of this nervous shy girl that he knows js what to do with
make a (consensual) mess outta her
if you thought you’re getting away with only cumming once, well. it’s a good think he doesn’t want you to think in the first place, so you just lay back and let him take of it, why don’t ya?
ok back to my wholesome thoughts. we going aftercare with this one
ok anyways else a little sassy after sex like they’re making up for how dumb they were during it
(everyone boos at me. matt murdock in the back raises his hand and nods. “she’s right” he says. thank you matt)
so he’s cleaning you up and teasing you about what a mess it is down there and ur like “well who’s fault is that?”
and he grins, pressing just a little harder into that mound and rendering you useless for a minute, till you’re back again and going at him and he’s just smiling bc his girl is back. sassy, attitude, he loves it all. (especially when you’re as nervous as a mouse under him, but two sides to every coin type shi, yknow?)
warm bath depending on how boneless you are, still talking some crap against him while he picks you up from the bed like a bag of grapes, carrying you to the bath, (you’re still going on by the way)
it’s so heartwarming, just the way you got back up, he loves it. he loves you.
yeah, he loves you, alright.
and he gets u sushi. lotta sushi required for aftercare. or whatever the fuck you prefer. fufu? shi there’s gotta be a place in all of new york still open, and there’s gotta be some poor door dasher still ready to drive it over. italian? why didn’t u say so, the aprons coming out again.
anyways. cuddles. u get it i don’t gotta say more i’ve said enough.
i feel like deadpool with the amount of talking i just did. if i yap this much again, someone PLS say “starry, stfu” and get me outta my funk PLS
#frank castle x reader#frank castle#frank castle smut#frank castle x you#frank castle fluff#starry talks
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I wanna talk about the subject of escapism in Inanimate Insanity.
To discuss this I need to do a deep dive into 3 characters that push this subject the most and how they do it differently.
Lightbulb, Fan and Mephone 4.
The three that demonstrate escapism in 3 different ways.
Lightbulb
Throughout season 2 we see Lightbulb as this goofy character, that’s her whole character up until you begin to notice little habits or cracks in the persona she lets others see. Up until episode 12 we don’t exactly know what is going on with her. We see her get sad in spurts of moments, but it’s never dwelled on. Until she faces the loss of working with Paintbrush, this causes her happy facade to begin to unravel and we see a whole new side of her. Now while she does the literal definition of escapism, which involved her leaving to a different realm that’s more like her to hide from the scary reality of Paintbrush not liking or wanting to be friends with her. I want to talk about the reason as to why she does so.
Escapism isn’t solely defined as only wanting to leave your reality in favor of a fantasy. It can also include intensifying more positive emotions to cope with or hide the negative.
Lightbulb demonstrates the latter, We see Lightbulb throughout season 2 use humor and a heightened amount of positivity to hide from her peers. Even beyond episode 12. In episode 13-14 you can very easily tell she has gotten a lot more comfortable with Testtube. But beyond her, you can see Lightbulb continue to hide from the other remaining contestants. When upon getting scared or frustrated she instantly masks it with a silly response or an over the top reaction.
Even in the first half of the II movie she is seen continuing to be silly upon facing literal DELETION to cope with how terrifying it is.
Fan
Fan demonstrates the more literal form of escapism. Which would be, as mentioned before, escaping reality in favor of a fantasy. His entire character arc is centered beyond his incapability and fear of looking beyond the show, his main source of comfort. While Lightbulb hides behind a forced, intensified feeling, Fan hides behind an interest. His intense love and passion for the show cuts him off from the real world. And he’s okay with that, not only is he okay with that, he craves it. The world beyond the show scares him so much that he rather be contain within himself and his interest. This is shown most in episode 14, where he gets taken out of the show. Fan has characterized the feeling in later Livestreams as “the end of the world”. Because, for him, it was. Leaving the show begin to crack Fans shell of bliss and oblivion. It wasn’t about winning to him, it was about staying with the only thing that had a pattern, that gave him comfort.
He is shown time and time again to want to say in a “shell” of Inanimate insanity. That when he got thrown out of that shell it made him spiral. That and met harshness on how it happened, and loosing Test tube and the egg left him destroyed. Everything that gave him comfort was violently stripped from him. His feeling becomes clear when he says “Test Tube, to be honest with you, I don't want him to have to hatch, okay? I mean, wouldn't that be great? He could just... stay calm and secure in his little protective shell, and have... and have his... have his patterns. Right?”
He doesn’t want to leave Inanimate Insanity because it’s his protection.
Mephone 4
Now last but not least
Mephone 4
The epitome of escapism.
Now it’s quite obvious that Mephone definitely “programmed” the latter 2 characters to have these issues because he himself has them too. BUT since I wanna demonstrate the 3 different ways II shows escapism I’m going to talk about the reason he created the characters.
Mephones form if escapism is through creation
He created a whole life and show to escape from Cobs. He created a good majority of the characters to project his feelings and struggles onto. Lightbulb with the struggle with hiding her emotions behind smiles, because he also does that (shown in the later half of season 2 and all of season 3). He created Fan with the obsessive attachment to Inanimate insanity, and the desire to stay in that fantasy rather than reality. Because he himself MADE the show to hide inside of it.
Even season 3 characters: cabby and her memory issues, clover and her seeing her ability as a curse, silver and seeing himself as worthless and balloon and his desire to change.
The character is an extension of himself and THROUGH THEM you see everything about Mephone’s struggles.
Speaking of season 3
The entirety of that season is literally him running away and creating another reality for himself. He consistently is shown to run away and hide from his problems, especially behind his creations.
It’s only when that fantasy is stripped away from him is when he can truly grow and face reality. Face cobs
#inanimate insanity#ii season 2#ii season 3#ii 12#ii 13#ii 14#ii16#ii 17#ii lightbulb#ii fan#ii Mephone#ii analysis#sorry for the very long post
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I can't really figure out whether Bison believes Kants' sceme.
Bison isn't stupid, he's a little impulsive, sure, but he certainly had to have a good amount of brains to get where he is.
Kant is being a lil suspiciously fast and rushed with his advances and Fadel already pointed out that Kant is doing a lot to get Bison (who he barely knows) to date him.
I think maybe Bison has caught on and is just kinda playing around with Kant right now. Just milking him for all the attention and pleasure he can get out of him.
We already saw that Bison has a clear need/desire for control and power. What better way to get that than a guy who (for some reason) would literally do anything for you.
I don't think Bison knows exactly why Kant is doing what he is doing. But right now, that probably doesn't matter to Bison as long as he can have some fun.
So the story might take more of a using each other to lovers route, if anything. A fuck buddy's to feelings (that would also be more in line with the lyrics of the ost). Instead of a lovers to lies to lovers again.
We already saw Jojo use firstkhao to portray a story of one lover feeling like his boyfriend used him (ray thinking sand was only hanging out with him cuz his dad paid him) and although they did a really good job I don't believe Jojo would do that again in his very next project, especially if it's the same actors.
Or I'm coping because I don't want them to hurt each other [flashbacks to Bison forcing Kant to jump off the boat] Anyway..
#the heart killers#the heart killers the series#first kanaphan#khaotung thanawat#firstkhaotung#firstkhao#kantbison
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Whatever in the ever loving hell had Bibi gotten involved in here?
Why this otherworlder attacked them makes enough sense, they need shit he has and it's a no brainer if it was Kallex this stranger was working with the asshole would point right in his direction.
The fact the wizard happens to know Apollo and if he had to make a guess comes from the same place is a wild coincidence enough, but this person does not seem to be coping well with the idea they're here and he has absolutely no clue what that could be about.
"Look. They aren't in the building so I couldn't hand them over right this second anyways."
Bibi, slowly, cautiously lowers her glaive. Just trying to deescalate this before shit hit the fan harder than it already had. Deescalation has never been her strong suit so they can only hope maybe seeming less combatant and continuing to talk will help.
"What do you need them so badly for anyways..? If you want to leave so quickly, there are other planets nearby."
Below this, Kallex is simply trying to keep the fuck away from all this explosive gunfire that he most certainly is not in fact built to be able to take.
His eyes are narrowed behind his shades, breathing somewhat heavily, he isn't built for agility in the way his rival was either.
This is not what he signed up for.
"What are you, dense? Would have figured you'd put two and two together the second you didn't see you're little friend you so boldly came to the rescue of down here."
He gestures with one arm around the bottom level of the building.
"Should be taking care of business just fine. But someone needed to keep you busy."
And in what was surely not a fucking terrible idea of going for broke now that he's realizing there's no way he's going to win against Apollo as it stands, the chimera instead aims his gun towards the work tables with the various explosives sprawled across it's surface and fires.
Clearly intending to set the whole damn lot of them off in what would surely be a very manageable not at all worrisome explosion.
The stranger's hand faltered at the target's words. Gloved fingers shaking around the rigid orb as the manic look in the Warlock's eyes gave way from fight to flight.
What was going on that even the slightest show of empathy, self-serving or not, would provoke such a shift in their attacker...?
"I'll survive... even Apollo will survive... but if you want out of this... please... just... give me what you took so I can leave this gods damned planet..."
The attacker's breaths went rigid, shaky. The tell-tale buzzing of the Lament, and two familiar voices accompanied the sounds of combat below.
First, a similar sapient drone to her new Gunslinger friend's appears. Preludes an ambush.
Second, the advent of Kallex, wielding strange, exotic tech the likes of which probably weren't all too common on this world.
Third, the fucking space wizard attacking him has a fucking breakdown the minute the aforementioned Gunslinger appears.
Fourth. The space wizard knows the Gunslinger's name.
Downstairs, Apollo leapt back, gambler's dodging another wave of nanites. A few attach themselves to their armor, digging in and causing a shimmer to wave over the Hunter's body.
Out of the ether, the Guardian hefted the Lament over their shoulder as they brandish a small submachine gun in their free arm, unleashing a storm of bullets into the remaining nanites. Each one destroyed explodes into flame, scorching and igniting others close by.
If the chimera wasn't careful, he might end up getting caught up in the explosive crossfire.
"Can't do that, cap. But what I can do, is put a dent in your little shakedown."
Their Calus Mini-Tool was aimed at Kallex now, with a stream of red-hot gunfire to follow.
"Where even is your client, anyway? You're clearly outmatched, here. And given your comms signal, I know they know what I'm capable of."
And the space wizard who hired him left him to fight an unkillable god-slayer.
What was this client running from?
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!! crucial !! piece of hilson lore confirmed - they're fucking LOSERS honestly? so affirming to me. this isn't news i know but to get this explicit piece of interaction about being a lonely child and now being weird adults who don't know how to make friends or have "normal" conversations or connections like this is the shit i eat for breakfast, especially accompanied with the complete and utter sense of surrender to this fact that wilson displays. there's absolutely no reason whatsoever for him to defend himself or act as if what house is saying isn't true bc it is and they both know it and knows the other knows it even if they've never actually talked about this once which is very likely but they know cause they're the same and they only have each other and and and
#they're so lame#hilson#hatecrimes md#to be clear i do think they had pretty different childhoods in many ways#but very early on feeling alone and different and/or misunderstood is the common thread running through both of their experiences#they almost definitely handled it very differently but just ended up on the same miserable bastard boat in the end#and no one can save them except each other. but they're actually unsaveable. and the only way for that to be okay is through each other#blahdi blahdi blah they're doomed either way but they need each other to cope blahdiblah fucked up losers solidarity#they're the worst<333 they would've bullied each other if they knew each other as kids. in fact the bully each other now aghjdfkdsfs#also honestly. wilsons response to house reading him to shreds being to play along and make a dry joke?? very cunty. love him to bits#house md#james wilson#gregory house#hmd#mypost
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thinking about superheroes unfortunately
#random thoughts#let me daydream about batman in peace#love the dynamic between spiderman and deadpool#it's that kind of dynamic i love where two people have power over each other in different ways#like spiderman is a well-loved public figure and deadpool's idol while deadpool is a dangerous mercenary with regeneration powers#physically deadpool probably outmatches spiderman through sheer dogged perseverance#while in the public eye spiderman is more well-liked AND deadpool is feverishly obsessed with him#i'm gonna keep forgetting the hyphen between spider and man btw fuck the world#loving the idea of a spiderman who KNOWS deadpool can do better and believes in him while deadpool gives him a space where HE can be himsel#like spiderman has so many masks he has to put on around other people#i think deadpool should be one of the few people he can truly let himself loose around#yknow before he can get to a point where he can reveal he's peter parker#also i think peter parker in his ideal state suffers from severe identity and self confidence issues#like he thinks spiderman is a seperate persona he puts on which is superior to himself in every way#(okay seperate thought: DID spiderman. the spider bite being so traumatic it led to him creating a split personality to cope.)#(or separate. whatever.)#also age difference. peter should be in his mid-twenties while deadpool should be in his thirties. need more power imbalance#also they're both sa survivors and their personalities could be interpreted as them handling it in vastly different ways#with deadpool being hypersexual and spiderman being flirtatious yet distant and peter parker being borderline celibate#though honestly i could leave spiderman being an sa survivor given it was a whole 'gay people are all predators' psa#also i think spiderman should have been held back in high school. due to struggles relating to being spiderman#so he graduated late and now he's going to community college#peter parker has the luxury of going incognito. wade wilson will always be stared at no matter what he's wearing#deadpool who every superhero hates. spiderman who every superhero organization is trying to recruit desperately#also i think peter should admire wade. physically. built like a brick shithouse that one#also the third act low point CAN'T be about spiderman feeling guilty because deadpool kills people#okay? it's overdone. we've seen it. it's lame#i prefer when their opposing views on murder are treated in a more 'death penalty or no' way rather than assuming deadpool is always wrong#because spiderman's idyllic 'people can change' beliefs can be just as wrong as deadpool's 'assholes deserve to die' beliefs#and spiderman has definitely killed people are you kidding me. both accidentally and on purpose
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ok erm. halloween animation meme lowkey postponed until next year (because i know damn well i'll need a whole year to finish this with my motivation 💀) because i have another much more invigorating and fresh idea that i wanna draw for the mtt. inspired by these 3 fuckass monkeys
#my bad chat i forgot how shit my procrastination is...... erm#KEEP AN EYE OUT. next year. and i lowkey just dont have the motivation rn school is pissing me off#blame my math teacher its because she caused me to crash out resulting in a hormone imbalance#which resulted in my loss of motivation for that. TRUST 🤞#anyways i think these monkeys suit them a lot. killer dust horror in that order#i feel like dust is the most obvious because like hearing you cannot turn off compared to sight and speaking#to get through the genocides he would need to forcefully push through it while horror and killer already had fucked up mental states#i would say that killer COUKD be see no evil but i thought it would make more sense for him to be speak no evil#because he's constantly plagued by his guilt yet struggles so damn much to ever confront it or even talk about it#also i think it fits more to have his hand over his mouth bc like. when a authority figure wants control#they usually order people to shut up. like imagining a teacher telling their student to be quiet#your voice is one of the most important forms of self expression and killer's autonomy and self have been beaten so bad#he cannot talk about it anymore. he knows its shit since stage 1 exists. he cannot talk about it#and i gave horror see no evil because until dust he didn't have control over what happened to (some) of what happened#and unlike killer he's perfectly fine with expressing how shit things are. but he just refuses to#he rather delude himself and believe that this was all justified even if its shit. he refuses to see the reality because itd destroy him#i love that the saying was originally meant as a way to avoid doing and thinking evil things#but now its associated with turning a blind eye to wrongdoings. like the world's shittiest coping mechanism#USGAH!!!! they all used to be completely normal sanses b4 they got fucked up........#and now theyre all broken and changed and not morally just anymore..... just like the saying's associations!!!!!!!#and i remember that one ancient ddlc offical art#where all the girls were connected into one big piece. and i wanna do something like thst#and make it one big piece. maybe like as a final know no evil thingy#who knows i need to shower and brush my teeth and then i can get to drawing the sketches for this#tricule rant
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I LOVE going everywhere by bike. Don't need to wait for a bus. Don't need to cram myself into a bus with (urgh) people. Or even worse, what feels like every single student in town. I still get home in about the same amount of time. I'm so so flexible including with places. Like yeah sure, let's go there! I don't care if the next bus station is far away. Doesn't matter to me.
Stayed out late with friends recently. Two of em had to get their family to come pick them up because that's too far to walk and it was too late for buses. A different friend lives like 30 minutes away but always walks and their way goes through a small park where literally no one is at with few lanterns so it's pitch black and I could literally just walk them home and then take the bike which is faster and has its own light and feels and probably is safer than walking those dark ass streets at night alone.
Like. I can just do all that. And yeah, sometimes when I'm not doing too well I feel like collapsing afterwards and yeah, maybe my fingers feel like falling off a lot at this time of year but that's like. SO worth it. I have no idea how people can live and NOT go everywhere by bike. Like if it's more than 20-30 minutes maybe but even with hills.... I fucking love my bike.
#a biscuit's rambles#also i just love going out with friends til late??#with the lockdown and shit that is such an entirely new experience and its great#also i like feeling useful i think. i like walking a friend home knowing ill definitely get home safe#idk#i also like my bike. a lot#been taking it literally every single day for years now and i have no regrets#EXCEPT FOR THOSE FUCKING PEDESTRIANS THAT HEAR MY BELL AND DO NOT FUCKING MOVE#AND THE OTHER BIKES THAT JUST DONT RING THEIR BELLS OR NOT EVEN HAVE ANY#LIKE THEN YOU GOTTA AT LEAST YELL AT PEOPLE TO MOVE OVER YOU NUMBNUT#A BIKE IS QUIET THEY DO NOT HEAR YOU THEY WILL NOT MOVE OVER MAGICALLY#AND IM STUCK BEHIND YOU#ALSO ITS JUST ASSHOLE BEHAVIOUR LIKE SOMEITMES WARNING SOMEONE SO THEY KEEP TO THE BLOODY SIDE IS GOOD!!!#and dont even get me STARTED ON SOME OF THE CARS#MUCH LESS THE STUPID ASS FUCKING INFRASTRUCTURE OF MY TOWN#ITS LIKE THEY WANT BIKES TO BE RUN OVER#fun fact i have been run over before#just fuckin collided with a car#nobody would listen to me try to pick apart the details of how it felt#which was probably my way of trying to cope with that experience lol#though nothing serious happened. bUT STILL#also oh god that one stupid fucking street with those stupid ass cars NOBODY NEEDS A CAR THERE JUST BAND HTEM ALREADY#AND THE. THE FUCKIGN ROADWORKS#I CAN NOT REACH MY SCHOOL WITHOUT ALMOST BEING EITHER HIT IN THE HEAD WITH A HUGE SHOVEL OR RUN OVER BY A TRUCK#AND IF THATS NOT THE CASE THEN THERES SO MANY FCKING PEOPLE THAT EVEN IF I YELL AT THEM LIKE MAD I CANT GET PAST WITHOUT RUNNING SOMEONE#THROUGH MYSELF#im very passionate about all things bike. but thinking abt it is a huge part of my life so im allowed to be
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