#Fred Rogers is my saint okay if I come on over strong it’s because I’m sincere and the heart is full of love
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aldisobey · 9 hours ago
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vibes, we can take turns driving towards the fucked up shit we see
These breakdowns are goddamn fuel. These are the things right here.
>>> You're taking away the only reprieve from his constant mental frenzy (sleep) from a man who already has a natural propensity to spiral into overthinking. It’s a disaster waiting to happen. Sure, maybe with time he’d learn to manage it, flip a switch, regulate it somehow. But for now? For now, Emmrich lives in his goddamn head 24/7, dreaming up every scenario imaginable.
THIS. Emmrich is an anxious overthinker that struggles to remain living in the present. He’s a man of ritual and rigour. The changes of flesh to bone interrupt so many of those things? And he has so much time now? We’re assured he’s still fully possessed of himself, Solas mentions ‘what’s left anyway’ or whatever. But really. For his daily life, the things he loves and delights in, what he uses as distraction, to sate curiosity, hunger, lust, it’s all different. Gods I. I’m mad at the game for how easy they make it look.
>>> When he finally returns to wherever he and Rook call home, Rook’s standing there like, Hey, nice to see you again, it’s been four months.
And I’m so glad you mentioned this because exactly. He doesn’t have his flesh rigours anymore. He’s gonna fucking hyperfocus on a single thing to keep his mind from wandering to the less pleasant thoughts. And time has no meaning, he doesn't need to sleep. He’ll be managing panic or anxiety by studying that slip of the Fade and then he’s in it and chilling for a day, and exactly what you described. I don’t know if you’ve watched or read Frieren, but it’s a softer take on that, absolute love for that series so far.
>>> absolutely piss yourself waking up in the middle of the night to a skull on the pillow next to you.
Thank you thank you for writing this out before in that wip haha. Because YEAH FUCK THAT. And I know I’m an outlier, I’m demi or something, you got the hottest person at my door begging for favor and imma nope and go find some creature from the deep that understands me and yaps (and I’d still do a little AAA about a skelly in bed okay). And I know that’s not a norm lol. Quite possible to fall completely in love with the ‘being’ soul bit and not the ‘physical’, flesh is clothes for me, but you know what that doesn’t make it easier when you love and delight in someone’s style, their smile, the way the eyes light or that brow crooks.
You still love ‘them’ but that was part of them? It’s gone now and it’s okay to mourn while you learn the other. I mean I’m a lady that lives pretty cis and goes by Al and is fine with any pronouns. In a way we all make a glamours daily, and our bodies are part of it. But your partner is going to fall in love with all the dressing too, it’s the little things in life that we love about each other. It’d be horror to lose in a snap.
Emmrich becomes bones overnight. Rook still loves him completely but what is that going to look like. Gotta figure that out. And when Emmrich is putting on the old glamour it’s gonna make Rook think you’re regretting all this, AND it’s traumatizing because he LOVED those parts and they’re gone now. Is Emmrich trying to help him cope or holding onto before because the glamour is invoking pain because that’s not truly him anymore. Didn’t Emmrich give that up? Didn’t he want this instead? I don’t know I’m treading carefully in my writing with trans allegory as well because I know it can tie in close to this. And I do NOT think of Emmrich as a monster for wanting to change, he’s gonna be a monster because he’s not letting the one he loves change in the way they want (aging, dying all that jazz) because he fears losing them.
Well Rook already watched you die. Rook already has to learn to love the new you. The least Emmrich could do is go to lich therapy and learn to love the new aging Rook every day instead of forcing a dead glamour on ‘em. Life is chaos and change okay, death is stability and control, you need both in some balance to really thrive, but weigh too heavily in one and boop bones.
>>> Emmrich’s thoughts are the plague…. You learn to live with the scars.
Allow me to throw my pot in the park Diogenes style and be an unseemly mess spitting at rich folk because I need to think more about alllll of this as well. And yeah silly game silly characters look at me spending all this time writing and ‘philosophizing’ about it. BUT DAMn okay
Bless your write ups, still make my day every time I see ‘em and keep all the words tucked way to mull over later and say ‘hey yeah you can write, post that shit k being perceived ain’t that bad’. Ya got me in my thoughts going places.
First line page wip share thing
tagged by the ever prosely poetic @emmg go read hers now if you like dark lich stuff holy shit
I don’t know who’s been tagged but I’m nudging @thievinghippo (so you can check that above out. no pressure to share but goodness tag me if you do) but sincerely anyone share and tag me, I delight in creations.
This is a rough piece from current work I’m getting at. Not a first line but the bit I’ve got that seems best without further explanation lol it’s a rough cut okay I need to chew more but enjoy?
Emmrich was completely bare. No adornments. No glamor. Simple, plain, and yet dimly starting to glow.
The bones of his hand, all that remained, clung tight to chest. Clenched in, wrapped round rib. Held tight, quivering tips rattling soft beneath sheets. Whispers of green began a sound like so many wings of beetles. Wove hushed in the numerous moving parts of his wrist. Started to pulse as heart. The waves birthed within the pieces of him, a swarm spreading reverberations throughout his skeleton. Calmed the racing heat, pressed down rising panic with power that’d beget plague. All Rook might hear is hum. The Lich consumed, all encompassing as the gnashing millions choked on fear.
It passed. Suppressed in all those grinding maxillae.
The eternal flame slept beside him. His beloved. Forever finally his and there lurked flame before his sight. Flickering. Finite. Holding his being within it, love. Death.
Most nights, should Rook desire, he would wander Fade with him. Taking to pleasant scapes where they might enjoy whatever a master of the space might make of it. And yet…Emmrich could not control his appearance after all these months. His lich form might flicker, the mortal frame return, and Rook would immediately draw away. Glamour. He’d say. Nightmare. Don’t wear your dead face. Was it too painful? Was he trying that hard to love the other? Perhaps the memory was too fresh.
Rook woke, still asleep. Blinking. Eyes closed and moving as one might expect the dead. He didn’t speak during these movements. Would drift back to Fade soon. But he liked to wrap Emmrich’s hands, and his body kept memory of the exact time a mortal professor awoke.
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alexander-turners · 5 years ago
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Speaking to the Stars
Pairing: Roger Taylor x Reader (Ben Hardy!Roger Taylor x Reader)
Summary: Reader finds Roger smoking outside at 4 am. The conversation between them leads to the point where they remember a dear friend who passed away recently. A decision is made to honor their memory and them.
Wordcount: 1607
Warnings: fluff, ANGST, crying, implied sex, freezing balls jokes lol
A/N: The fic is based a few days before the tribute concert, so get your tissues ladies.
I’m so sorry if there are any mistakes. English is not my first language. I hope you like it!
Special thanks to @rogmeddows for reading snippets from the fic and telling me what you think about it. Love You! 💖
Gif credit goes to owner/maker.
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Roger took another drag of his cigarette and exhaled the smoke. He watched as the white gas twitched into several shapes then disappear. He turned his attention to you, still sleeping in the shared bed.
Roger has closed the sliding balcony door so the cold April weather won’t touch your warm body, freezing you. He watched you sleeping, body curled under the duvet, one stripe of your white tank top had fallen to your arm so he could see your collarbone and part of your breast. Roger chuckled breathlessly and took another drag of his cigarette, looking at the stars above.
You stirred in your sleep and reached to the other side of the bed, to Roger. You wanted; no you needed to feel his touch on your body. Hand was mindlessly caressing the sheets, searching for Roger’s warmth but his side of the bed was cold.
Your eyes shot open. You sat on the bed rubbing your sleepy eyes. Where is Roger?
It was still pretty dark outside but the full moon was spreading a soft light on the ground. Something caught your eye outside, a smoke. Then you saw him, smoking in the balcony wearing nothing but his boxers.
“Oh, Rog,” you whispered, wrapping the blanket around you.
You looked at the bedside clock before opening the door. 3:54 in the morning.
Roger took a final drag from his cigarette before putting it out on the ashtray. He jumped when pair of hands wrapped around his middle.
“You’re going to freeze to death, Roger.” you whispered, “What are you doing here?”
Roger let you wrap the blanket around his shoulders. He pulled you to his chest, engulfing you in a hug, covering you with the blanket too.
“I had to get out to smoke and I know how we are against smoking inside the house.” He whispered, caressing your back, “That’s why I’m here, love.”
You and Roger had this rule of him not smoking inside the house because like he said ‘kids wouldn’t take on his bad habits.’ You tried to tell him he could smoke anywhere inside the house as long as he keeps the window open. But he dismissed the idea.
You shook your head, kissing his chest then collarbone, “You should’ve smoked in the kitchen. I don’t want you freezing your balls in here,”
Roger snorted, trying to suppress his laughter but failed, “I’m happy that you’re thinking about the wellbeing of my balls.”
Another laughter rippled through his chest as you slapped him lightly, “It’s not funny,” you ran your hands up and down his back and chest, trying to warm his cold skin, “you’ve got goosebumps all over your body, Rog.”
“Stop moving your arms you’re lifting the blanket,”
Rolling your eyes at him, you placed your hands on his chest, feeling his heartbeat, “Says the man who’s been smoking in the balcony in nothing but his boxers.”
He smiled softly, burying his face in your hair, inhaling the scent of your shampoo, “Touché.”
“Is everything okay? You’re smoking in the middle of the night, you do that only when you have a bad dream.” You were trying to choose your words carefully, not to upset him more.
“I’m okay, love. I didn’t have a bad dream,” he took a deep shaky breath, “It’s just…”
Roger stopped talking as you pressed your lips on his cold ones. The kiss wasn’t passionate or desperate, it was reassuring. You were telling him that he could tell you anything without using any words.
When you broke the kiss his head leaned down to you searching for your lips. You chuckled, his ears turned pink. You put a hand on his cheek, he leaned his head on it, “Tell me what’s upsetting you.”
He signed turning his attention to the stars above; “I had a dream about Freddie.” his voice was barely audible. Roger felt you nodding, silently telling him to continue and he did, “We were joking, laughing, talking about something but I don’t remember everything.”
His gaze met yours, you were crying just like him. That’s when he broke down, voice cracking, “I-I miss him, Y/N, s-so much.”
“Shh, I know, Rog.” you wiped his tears with your thumb; he rested his head on your shoulder, pulling you closer to him by tightening the blanket around both of you.
Roger let out a tiny sob, his tears falling on your shoulder, wetting your tank top but both of you didn’t care. You both needed to cry out your hearts. Freddie’s passing was so hard for both of you, especially to Roger. He cried so much during the nights, you both did. But during the day he tried to hold his tears at bay in front of the kids. He was trying to play with them, laugh with them.
It was hard for him and you because you could see how his heart was breaking up for his best friend. Just like yours. Both of your hearts were broken into tiny little pieces because you lost an amazing friend but tried to stay strong for your children.
Roger removed his head from your shoulder, wiping his years with his hand and holding the ends of the blanket with the other, “I’m sorry for breaking down in front of you, Y/N.” he gently wiped your tears with the back of his thumb, “I’m sorry I made you cry,”
“Shh, there’s nothing you should be s-sorry for, Rog.” you mumbled, “You’re grieving… we both are grieving. I-I miss Freddie, too. Sometimes I-I h-have this feeling like he’s going to c-call us and ask for you because y-you’re late for recording s-sessions again.”
Roger laughed through tears, nodding his head, “He would say ‘stop fucking each other, Roger get your ass to the studio’” you chuckled and realized that his face fell again, “The whole time while we were rehearsing for the tribute concert I knew he’d appear, shades on saying ‘let’s start, darlings’.”
You both laughed at his almost perfect impersonation of Freddie. Roger signed and looked back at the stars, his eyes filled with tears once more, “I couldn’t even thank him enough for introducing us. I mean you’ve been dealing with my shit for nearly 15 years,”
You fake gasped and put your hand over your heart, “15 years? Wow, I have saint’s patience,”
Roger snorted before replying, “Yes, you do.” he gently stroked your back before continuing, “Like I said I couldn’t thank Freddie enough for introducing us, you gave me three beautiful kids, a place to call home and an amazing life.”
“You helped a lot with the kids; you should take some credit,” you mumbled, caressing his chest, trying to warm him up.
He chuckled at your words and cracked a little smile, “You are right, I helped a lot…” he looked directly at your face. God fifteen years later and three kids you’d still take his breath away. It was now or never telling you what he had kept secret for almost a year, “I wanna ask you something.”
“Go on.”
Roger breathed slowly, trying to find the words, “Do you think we are too old for another baby.”
“Another baby?” You asked with surprise and he hummed in approval. You eyed him suspiciously before asking, “Where did that come from?”
He scratched back of his head and exhaled deeply, “It’s just… I want to honor Freddie’s wish,”
“I still don’t understand, Rog.”
“Okay, I will explain.” his arm returned under the blanket and gripped your waist, pulling you closer, “Almost a year ago Freddie and I had this conversation and he told me that if you and me had another child we should name the baby Tiger if it’s a boy and Tigerlily if it’s a girl. I should’ve told you this earlier but- hey… baby, don’t cry.”
You didn’t even know when tears started falling down. This was so sweet. Freddie naming your future children in advance because he knew he wouldn’t be able to see them or hold them.
Roger wiped your tears and mumbled sweet nothings in your ear. “Yes,” you breathed out.
“Yes what?” the drummer asked.
“Yes, we could have another baby or maybe two, who knows.” you answered, tears still falling down from your eyes down your cheeks, “And we would name them Tiger and Tigerlily just like Freddie wished.”
Roger’s eyes closed in happiness, the corner of his lips turned upwards then he whispered to the stars, to Freddie. “Did you hear that Fred, she agreed on having another baby and we’ll name them just like you wanted,”
And he kissed you like his life depended on it. It didn’t matter that it was middle of cold April night or that you both were almost naked only with a blanket over yourselves. What mattered is you were still together, grieving together and just making a decision to have another baby to honor your dear friend.
You broke the kiss and for the second time tonight he leaned down, eyes closed searching for your lips, “As much as I would love to stay here and kiss you I still prefer going inside our room and burying myself under the duvet.” he nodded. You noticed corners of his eyes were still wet from the tears.
“You’re right, Y/N. It’s freezing out here.”
“Also if we stay here even longer you’d freeze your balls and then we could say bye-bye to new babies,”
Roger’s eyes widened in fear, “Oh, we couldn’t let this happen then.”
You let out a shriek as Roger threw you over his shoulder and ran inside the room.
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mirkwoodshewolf · 5 years ago
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The baby’s here!!; Queen x reader
*Author’s note*
Okay gang here we go. The last chapter I’ve got for you all and it’s probably one of my favorites, here we have the arrival of baby Kline.  So as with all childbirth fics there is child labor, doctors, swearing and all that jazz. There’s also intense FLUFF so viewers discretion is advised lol. There’s also maybe a tiny bit of angst if you squint towards the end but I hope you all enjoy these two fics :)
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Taglist:
@psychosupernatural
@plethora-of-things
@ixchel-9275
@onebigfangirlworld
@waddles03
@coolcxt
@geek-and-proud
@queendeakyy
@mr-badguymercury
@platawnic
@naturalswifty89
@queens-rose-garden
@starswin
@dj-lowkey
@isabella-bby
@labessieisallama
@5sos-wdw
____________________________________________________
*November 20th, 1985*
ARRRRAAAGGGHHHH!!!! That’s it I can’t take it anymore! Someone get me some pliers and help breach this kid out of me! Nine months and one week later, I’m overdue. I’d thought at least by now if not a month early they’d be born but nope! I was lying in my bed permanently on bedrest all because of Jack. There was a knock at my bedroom door and I snapped.
“What!?” Peeking in was Jack.
“Hey babe, the guys are here.” I calmed down and I said.
“Bring them in, and Jack,” he stopped and looked at me. “I’m sorry for snapping.”
“Hey, don’t worry about it. I’m anxious too. I’ll bring everyone up.” He then left the room and after a few short moments of silence by myself, my boys along with Freddie’s partner Jim Hutton, and the girls Veronica, Dominique and Chrissie came on in. They all greeted me and I waved to them.
“How are you feeling (y/n)?” Roger asked. I gave him a look before looking to Dominique. She nodded and gave Roger a slap over the head making him cry in pain.
“Don’t worry love, my sister was once overdue by three weeks, you’re on the lucky side.” Chrissie said as she came over to me and rubbed my shoulder.
“Yeah but I want this baby to come out! I’m cranky! I can barely move! I can’t even get my slippers on by myself anymore!” I sobbed out.
“Has the doctor given you anything to help?” asked Deacy.
“Yes and we’ve tried it all. Spicy food, herbal teas, sex, nothing’s helped.” Explained Jack. The boys looked shocked to hear Jack say sex so casually as he just did.
“It was medically proven guys, she told us nine times out of ten that’s always sped up late births.” I explained.
“Well maybe this might help you love,” Jim said as he handed me a box. “It’s an herbal tea recipe my mum took from when she was pregnant with me. I was a week late just like your bearing is, she drank this and next minute out I pop.”
“At this point I’ll try anything. Thanks Jim.” I thanked. I opened the box and gave the stuff to Jack and he said he’d make it, Jim went down to help him prepare it. As I sat there in the bed, I moaned in discomfort and it was at that moment Brian came up and helped me sit up and he gave me a gentle massage. “Oh Brian you are a saint.”
“No problem love, Chrissie had backaches all the time with our kids.”
“And you were always there to help make the pain all the bearable.” Chrissie said as she came up to her husband and kissed his cheek while Brian kept massaging me.
“Tea’s ready.” We heard Jack say. Brian got up and helped me lay back down as Jack handed me my favorite tea mug and I drank it. It took every ounce of me to not spit it out because god did it taste strong, plus I think there might’ve been tar in it or something vile. But I drank another sip before setting the mug down.
“Helping any?” asked Freddie.
“I don’t know, I mean I wish that my water could just magically break right now but that’s impossible. It—oh! Oh my god…..” I suddenly felt something.
“What? What is it are you okay?” Jack immediately came up to me and took my hand. I sat there tensed up feeling the pain continuing and I turned to him and said.
“I think my water just broke.”
“You—you sure?”
“I think….oh yeah that’s a contraction! Ahhh!!” I began to scream in pain and in an instant the girls took control. Veronica was the first to proclaim.
“Okay people this is not a drill! John start the car!” John immediately did as his wife said and raced down to get the car started.
“Jack you packed an overnight bag right?” asked Dominque. Jack nodded and said, “Good boy grab that and put it in the car.” Jack ran off to grab the bag.
“Brian, you and Roger call the hospital tell them the Rock Angel is having her baby and she specifically requires a private room.” Brian nodded then he and Roger ran out of the bedroom.
“Okay (y/n) sweetie, Dominique and I will coach you on your breathing, okay I need you to do your breathing exercises you’ve been learning in your classes, can you do that?” asked Veronica.
“I think so.” I whimpered as another contraction hit and I let out a cry in pain.
“Freddie, Jim help me sit her up.” She said. Soon both Freddie and Jim gently and slowly helped me out of my bed and stood me up. Veronica and Dominque took their places at my sides and they each coached me through my breathing as we walked out of the bedroom and toward John and Veronica’s car.
“That’s it sweetie you’re doing great, okay we’re at the car now.” Dominique said as she opened the door and I was put in the backseat. Veronica then got in on the other side while Dominique closed my door and she raced back towards her car.
“Okay John let’s get going!” John put the car in drive and soon we left our small flat and raced towards the hospital.
Finally we arrived at London’s hospital. My doctor, Dr. Sharon Crabgrass stood there with a wheelchair ready to take me around the back way of the hospital so that way I wouldn’t draw a crowd of people and create more stress than I already was in.
Deacy, Veronica and Jack helped me out of the car and Dr. Crabgrass said.
“Finally ready to become a mother Mrs. Kline?”
“Oh you have no idea doc, although I wish this last week hadn’t happened though.” I said.
“Been a little irritable?”
“You could say that.” I stated sarcastically. I was helped into my wheelchair and she asked me.
“How far are the contractions?”
“The one we counted just now was 15 seconds apart.” I then let out a scream and I yelled out.
“15 SECONDS MY ARSE!!!”
“Okay we’ll take you in and see just how much dilation you have and see if you’re ready to go straight to the delivery room.” She said. I was then wheeled into the private room that we had reserved in advance. Veronica stayed at my side along with Jack and she told me one final time.
“You’re gonna be fine sweetie, soon you’ll hold that beautiful baby in your arms and your whole world will change forever.” I smiled and thanked her as she now stopped and it was just Jack, Dr. Crabgrass and I heading to the delivery room.
Unfortunately I wasn’t ready to go into the delivery room because I was only just 3cm apart in dilation. So now I was in my private room with Jack suffering through contraction after contraction, while every now and then Dr. Crabgrass would come in and check to see if anything’s changed.
10 hours have passed and I still had no baby. It was now pitch black outside at 9:45pm. A knock was heard and peeking in was Freddie and Jim.
“May we come in darling?” asked Freddie.
“Of course my Freddie, you both can come in.” Following behind him was Jim.
“Still no luck?” asked Jim.
“No, apparently I’ve only dilated to only 4cm. for the entire 10 hours I’ve been here!” I snapped. God I can’t believe I’ve only dilated a cm. a fuckin centimeter for this entire day!
“I’m sorry love.” Jim said solemnly.
“What? What are you sorry for? Jim, come here.” He came over to me and I took his hand and told him as I looked him straight in the eye. “Without that tea, I’d still be suffering a late delivery. Your mum’s tea is magic, thank you for giving it to me.” He smiled and said.
“You’re welcome (y/n).” I smiled when suddenly I was hit with another contraction.
“Oh shit not another one!”
“Okay remember just breathe. Breathe.” Jack took my hand and I squeezed it as hard as I could as I breathed rapidly and cried in pure agony.
This time however this was a big one as I threw my head back and cried out. Freddie came over and took my other hand and soon I was squeezing both their hands with an iron grip while Jim came up to me and wiped my sweaty forehead with a wet towel.
“Oh god please tell me I’m at 10 fucking centimeters now!”
“I’ll get the doctor.” Jim said as he raced out of the room and I continued to whimper and scream in agony.
“It’ll be alright my little Rock angel, you’re doing great love.” Freddie tried to assure me but I snapped at him.
“NOT HELPING FRED!!” Soon Jim came in with Dr. Crabgrass and I told her. “Oh please doc you’ve got to give me some drugs I can’t take this anymore! Please tell me I’m ready to go to the delivery room.”
“Unfortunately you’re still not ready. You’re now up to 5cm.” she said. I looked at her like she had two heads as rage boiled inside me.
“You’re joking right?” I stated lowly.
“I’m afraid not Mrs. Kline, but you’re half way there. We’ll keep checking in on you. What you just experienced was the mid-way contraction. It’s usually bigger than the normal contractions you have, telling you that you’re halfway there.”
“Well it sure as hell didn’t feel like I was halfway there.”
“I’ll check on you in another hour, hopefully you’ll be ready to deliver soon.” With that she left. I collapsed back into the bed and wept. Jack kissed my forehead and I said.
“Why don’t they want to come out?” Jack stroked my cheek and kissed my forehead again and he said.
“You know what I think? I think that you’ve made such a good home for them for the past nine months that they….just don’t want to leave you.” I looked at him with a precious smile as I said.
“Aww look at you making up shit to make me feel better.” I patted his cheek before turning towards Freddie and Jim and I told them. “You guys must be so tired of staying in a hospital, why don’t you and the rest of the guys just go home and rest?”
“And leave you behind in a hospital I don’t think so dear.” Freddie sassed.
“Fred it’s been over 10 hours, come on I’d hate for you to stay in a hospital for god knows how long.”
“Hey,” he gently cupped my face with his hand and he said, “We are not leaving you our Rock angel. We all agreed to stay here until that baby is born. We’re with you darling, right till the end. I already missed your wedding, I promised myself to not miss the birth of your first child.” I smiled happily at him and he kissed the top of my head and he turned to Jim and said, “Come on Jim, let’s leave them alone for a bit and give the others the update.” He then turned to us and continued, “try and get some sleep later on. The both of you.”
“We’ll try, thanks Freddie.” Said Jack and with that Jim and Freddie left our room.
For the rest of the night and into the next morning, I was now well-over the 24hr marker of my laboring and I was going stir-crazy. As I lay there in bed with Jack still at my bedside and this time Deacy and Veronica were in with us this morning.
“How long has it really been?”
“We’ve just passed the 30hr mark.” Answered Deacy as he looked down at his watch.
“You’re a hero honey” said Veronica as she rubbed my shoulder.
“I sure as hell don’t feel like one. God I just want this baby out of me I can’t take the pain anymore!” I sobbed out. She leaned her head on top of mine as she continued to rub my shoulder trying to console me. It was then Dr. Crabgrass came in and she said.
“How are we feeling Mrs. Kline?”
“God Doc you’ve got to do whatever it takes get some firewood and smoke it out, get a crane I don’t care just please get it out of me!” She then came up to me and checked me out and that’s when she said.
“Well it seems you no longer have to wait anymore.” I looked at her and thought I was hearing her.
“What now?” I asked.
“10cm at 30 hours later, you’re about to become a mum.” I turned to Jack and he smiled happily at me and I turned to Veronica and she smiled down at me and she kissed my forehead and she said.
“Welcome to the club darling, you’re gonna do great.”
“Come on darling, let’s inform the others.” Deacy said as he took his wife’s hand and soon a couple nurses came in and I was wheeled over to the delivery room.
I was moved onto the metal table that had piles of pillows stacked on top of one another. Dr. Crabgrass got on her blue overcoat and rubber gloves and a nurse assisted her and I was told to push as hard as I could at any time a contraction hit me.
I don’t even know how long it was that I was in the delivery room for but I was currently pushing as Jack was keeping a tight grip on my left knee as I had my legs up while Dr. Crabgrass kept telling me to push. I grunted and panted heavily as sweat poured down my face.
“Push, push. Okay we’re gonna push for 5 more seconds. Five….four….”
“3 2 1! Gah!!” I cried out as I stopped pushing and I lay back exhausted.
“Okay now the next contraction should be in about 20 seconds.” She said as she backed away from my vagina that was trying to push a Saint Bernard out.
“Ohh I can’t do this. I can’t do this anymore Jack!” I sobbed to him.
“Hey, it’s gonna be alright you’re doing great just a few more big pushes and….” I interrupted him as I felt another contraction hit me as I snarled out.
“AHHH GOD 20 SECONDS MY ARSE!!!”
“Here we go! Okay keep pushing. Push.” All the while Jack held onto me as I tried to push harder.  “Wait, wait, I see something.” She said in a concerned tone.
“What is it what do you see? Oh my god!” Jack proclaimed in shock.
“Don’t say oh my god! Oh my god what?!”
“What is that?” asked Jack.
“It’s the baby’s buttock it’s breached.” Dr. Crabgrass explained.
“Oh thank god I thought it had two heads.”
“Wait, wait…..is the baby gonna be okay?”
“The baby will be fine but it’s in a more difficult position so you’re gonna have to push even harder now, go.” I then began to push as hard as I could. “Mrs. Kline you’re gonna have to push even harder nothing’s happening.”
“I’m sorry I can’t! I can’t!” I sobbed out.
“Hey, hey look at me if you can perform before a sold out Madison Square Garden show four years ago, you can do this.” Jack said as he looked me square in the eye.
“I can’t Jack I can’t, please you do it for me!” I wept. Jack shook his head and said as he adjusted himself and said.
“Come on you can do this just one more big push on three, okay? One….two…three!” I then shot up and pushed as hard as I could. But as I did, I actually headbutt my husband and he fell to the ground.
“Good!” Dr. Crabgrass said.
“Keep pushing!” Jack called out.
“Are you okay love?!” I cried out in pain. He sat up rubbing his forehead as he said.
“You have no idea how much this hurts.” At that comment both Dr. Crabgrass and I turned towards him. I was almost about to strangle him. He had no idea what real pain felt like. “Keep going! Keep going!” He said learning his mistake and came up and held onto me as I kept pushing. I let out a scream as I pushed and the doctor said.
“Here we go!”
“It’s upside down but its coming.” Jack assured me. I let out a cry as I threw my head back and soon I could hear faint whimpering. “Oh my god, it’s here. Our baby’s here.” Jack said in wonder. I opened my eyes and soon Dr. Crabgrass held up a tiny and slightly bloody baby. “Oh my god it’s….it’s a girl.” Jack said.
Both Jack and I were in awe at the sight of our first baby being a girl. She was so beautiful.
“Aww she’s so tiny.” I cooed out. Dr. Crabgrass smiled at us before taking our baby away. I went from laughing to whimpering out sadly, “Where’d she go? Where’d my baby go?”
“It’s okay she’s just wrapping her up.” Jack assured me.
“Okay but be careful with her she’s really tiny.” I said. Jack and I looked at each other happily and that’s when Dr. Crabgrass said as she presented our baby girl.
“Here she is.” Right after that our daughter started to cry. I held her in my arms, all thanks to the practice that Dominque, Veronica and Chrissie gave me as I softly bounced my baby girl in my arms and cooed out.
“Hi, you~ aww thanks for coming out of me when I drank Jim’s tea. Ohhh I know poppet. Yes~” It was then my baby girl opened her eyes up at me. Her eyes the same color as mine. “Ahh she’s looking at me. Hi….I know you.” I sobbed out happily before cooing at her once more smiling widely.
“Do we have a name yet?” asked Dr. Crabgrass.
“No not yet.” I said.
“That’s fine. For now we’ll just call her baby girl Kline.” I looked to Jack and he couldn’t stop fawning over his new born baby girl. He stroked her tiny head and kept kissing it before finally looking up at me. We smiled at each other and he leaned forward and caught my lips with his in a gentle kiss. As we separated he kissed my forehead before getting comfortable by my bedside as we admired our beautiful baby girl.
“Hello baby girl.” I said.
We were now in a recovery room, Jack taking pictures of me and our baby girl together. I can’t believe she’s finally here, our little girl. 6lbs 11oz 21 inches long after over 36hrs in labor she’s finally graced us from heaven. I touched her rosy cheek with my index finger as I looked up at Jack and couldn’t stop smiling.
He kissed my temple and he said.
“God I can’t believe she’s finally here.”
“I know.”
“She looks so much like you.” He said. I looked up at him and that’s when we heard a voice say.
“Can we come in?” We both turned around and there peeking through the door of our room was Brian. We nodded and soon slowly pouring in was the entire Queen family. They all cooed and awed at the sight of my baby girl.
“There she is.” Said Roger.
“Ohh she’s so beautiful.” Veronica cooed. I smiled at her and I said.
“You wanna hold her first?” She nodded enthusiastically and I gently gave Veronica my baby girl.  She almost cried with tears of joy as she said.
“Oh my god, she’s amazing. I’m so glad you guys finally had sex.” Deacy came up to her and she gave him our daughter. Deacy smiled happily and I did see a couple of tears fall down his face as he said.
“No matter how many times I’ve already been through this, I still can never get enough of holding a newborn baby in my arms.” I smiled at Deacy and felt tears form in my eyes.
He then transferred my daughter to Roger and he gingerly held my baby girl in his arms. He was all smiles and in awe, seeing him be so tender towards my daughter.
“She’s so beautiful, just like her mum.” he said as he looked to me while Dominque cooed and awed at my girl in his arms.
“Okay my turn, my turn.” Freddie said as he held out his arms. Since Freddie stood on my right and Roger was to my left, the two of them did a careful exchange just over the foot of the bed as I could hear Roger say.
“There go to your uncle Freddie love,” as Freddie now held my daughter he was all gushy with love as he cooed out.
“Aww you’re as cute as a button darling, ohh I could just stick you in my pocket and take you away.” I gave him my best stank eye already feeling the protective mother instincts take over me.  He looked at me and he said, “I won’t.” I shook my head at him. Then finally Freddie gave my daughter to Brian and he got to have the chance to hold her. Him and Chrissie stood over my baby, Chrissie cooing as she stroked her tiny head.
“Roger is right, she has her mother’s eyes and cute little nose.” I held the tissue up to my eyes as I sniffled.
“Aww honey what’s wrong?” asked Chrissie as she now turned towards me and stroked my head.
“Nothing Chrissie, I’m sorry I just can’t stop crying.”
“It’s completely natural love, with all the hormones plus you’re sleep deprived. We all went through it when we had our kids.” Veronica said.
“So what? I bet you guys are all sleep deprived. I don’t see any of you crying hysterically because you put your slippers on the wrong feet.” I choked out as I dabbed underneath my eyes. My head soon sunk as I began crying and I whimpered out, “Ahh fuck.”
“What’s the matter now?” asked Deacy concerned.
“I was reliving it!” I sobbed. Everyone awed at me and Jack held me close and kissed the top of my head.
“So do you know what you’re gonna call her?” Brian said as he gave me back my baby girl.
“Wait a minute it’s not going to be baby girl? I thought that was so original.” Freddie said. It was then Jack said.
“Well we talked about it and we’ve finally came up with one.”
“And since I’m too emotional right now, why don’t you be the one to announce it to them Jack darling.” I said as I held my baby girl in my arms. Jack smiled beyond thrilled that he was to announce the name of our daughter.
“Wow okay, umm…..everyone.” He leaned down and touched his daughter’s head and said, “We’d like you to meet our daughter, Kelly Michelle Kline.” They all fawned over the name and greeted our daughter with warm smiles and gentle touches.
A few hours later, everyone went to get some food in their stomachs and a nurse had come in with some food for me as well as teaching me how to breastfeed my baby. It took a little bit but Kelly managed to latch on and I got her to drink.
Currently now she was sleeping in her little incubator bed right by my side when I heard the door open and coming in was Roger.
“How you doing (y/n)?”
“Fine, fine come on in honey.” He came in and softly closed the door behind him. He came over Kelly and smiled down at her faintly tickled her.
“God I still can’t get over the fact that she looks so much like you.”
“Yeah.” I said softly. He looked at me concerned and he said.
“What’s the matter?”
“Nothing.” I said as I wiped some tears away.
“What is it, hey?”
“Really Roger its nothing just hormonal that’s…..”
“(Y/n) come on, it’s me. Now give me the truth.” I looked up at him with my sad eyes. His entire face showed that he knew something was wrong with me, his “(y/n)” sense he calls it. I looked at him before turning away and I said.
“It’s just that…..I never thought I’d end up raising this baby by myself.”
“What are you talking about? Are you and Jack having problems?”
“No, no Roger that’s not what I meant. I meant that…..if we ever did have a problem we have Jack’s mother and step-father to turn to. Kelly will have one pair of grandparents to look after her, but I….I just wish my parents were still here to see this day. They’ve always talked about being grandparents one day. You know?” I turned to Roger and he looked at me and said.
“Yeah, I do.”
“I just so scared that I’m gonna mess up my daughter’s life, whether being busy with my career or…..being like my aunt. I sound pretty dumb right now huh?”
“No, no you don’t, hey,” Roger said as he came up to me and took my hand in both of his. We stared into each other’s eyes as he continued, “Now you listen to me; You are never ever, ever gonna be like her, okay? You’re sweet, you’re kind, you’ve got a warm heart, and you always support those that you love. You’re not alone, and if you ever need someone to call to help with Kelly. I’m just an ocean away but I can be there, like that.” He quietly snapped at his last statement as he kept a good strong yet gentle grip on my hand.
“Roger Meddows Taylor, what would I ever do without you?” I said as he opened up my hand and kissed the center of my palm, our own personal kiss we give to one another whenever we feel upset or alone.
He brought my hand to my heart as he pulled me close and I leaned against his chest listening to his heartbeat.
“You never have to wonder about that darling.” I sniffled as he kissed the top of my head and kept me in his arms for what felt like forever.
And it was at that moment I felt like it was time to ask him.
“Roger,”
“Mm?” he hummed as he gingerly stroked my back. I separated from him and he sat down in front of me and I said.
“There’s something else I need to tell you.” He looked at me concerned and he said.
“What’s wrong you okay?”
“Yeah, yeah it’s not what you’re thinking. I’m perfectly healthy, I just wanted to ask you something, and it’s really, really important.”
“What is it?”
“Well, for the past five years, geez it feels longer than that,” we both laughed softly as I continued, “From day one, you’ve always looked after me. Between you and the guys, you’ve always been the one to be there for me for everything. You’ve seen me at my lowest breaking point, and there to keep me grounded in the spotlight. You’ve been my shoulder to cry on and my confidant. Which is why I wanted to be the one to ask you…..if you’ll be Kelly’s godfather.”
His face turned to pure shock.
He looked toward Kelly before looking back at me and I smiled at him hoping for a yes from him.
“Me?” he stammered out.
“No the other Roger Taylor, of course you yah dolt!”
“But I—I would’ve thought you would’ve chosen Deacy.”
“Well Jack did want him to be the godfather. But I told him that if our baby was a girl, then there’s only one man that I knew who could not only be fiercely protective of her, but give her all the love she needed. Because that’s what he did for her mum.” I cupped his cheek in my hand.
Tears fell down his face and I wiped them away for him and he said.
“I’d be honored.” I smiled happily at him and we both embraced each other tightly crying in pure happiness.
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