#and now she finally got back to me
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i will cry 😔
#— ai rambles#i just heard from my dentist 🥲#last week i left her all the x rays and 3d stuff she asked me to#and now she finally got back to me#on november 2 i will be getting my wisdom tooth removed + the problem tooth next to it that was ruined bc of an incapable dentist#in the past and is now beyond saving so 🥲#aside from that i’m getting a bone graft and then in in about 4 months an implant#SOB#I AM SO TERRIFIED#the whole procedure will be done by another specialist btw#who turns out to be a relative of mine LMAO#i found out after my first appointment#he owns the clinic i kind of feel safer in his hands BUT i’m still terrified 🥲
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character tropes
↳ Hirogaru Sky! Pretty Cure → Sora Harewataru
#thank you for the past year sora you are everything to me 😭😭😭#precure#hirogaru sky precure#sora harewataru#cure sky#cure prism#nijigaoka mashiro#mygifs#*chtr#now that it's over cure sky has officially entered my top 5 main cures 👏👏#what i like about cure sky is everything i like everything about cure sky lol she is in a league of her own she's an icon she's a legend#sky/prism have defined back muscles from carrying this entire season rest well queens you did incredible#mashiro making me cry on the finale i knew it would probably happen but it got me just like the star twinkle separation did#sora was the coolest and strongest hero and i will probably post twice again tomorrow for ep 50#(cure wonderful cameo will be a queued post if i do decide to make it though)
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you're a vampire too
#after 9 years not thinking about her shes come back to rot my brain#but now shes just some woman to me. some fucked up 31yo who finally got herself a stable job in the music industry#dunno how many moots will find out abt this now but hi hello i had teto/utau brainrot when i was 14 and now its coming back full force#kasane teto#teto kasane#utauloid#重音テト#重音テトsv#synth v#illustration#my art#utau#teto utau
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#house md#gregory house#james wilson#screencap#s07e01 “Now What?”#one of the thing that bothered me about canon huddy#is it feels too close to the unrealness of s5 finale#just huddy becoming canon does not feel like it would be enough to offset all the issues house had building up in s6 finale#hes not even a bit bitter about wilson throwing him out anymore and it certainly wasn't just a cover for huddy#left unresolved#last patient's death unresolved (you can say it delayed if youre a pedant)#the overall stress from that wrecked building - unresolved#all this skipped overnight#even more of a rocky start to this relationship would be better#cuddy too#this is so ooc for both of them#like their characters got reset#i do wonder how proper huddy would look like in canon#like it wouldnt work long term either#but in s7 it just went too smooth#what does cuddy even gets out of it besides the initial thrill?#she is a freak and workaholic in a completely different way to house#literal mother#and an authoruty figure#they would clash so bad so fast it would be glorious#maybe it would be better if she didnt make it and house was already back on vicodin in the bathroom#also would give deniability to ooc moments#dont mind me *watching perfect house md in my brain*
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normally pi is the one to get me up throughout the night but in the past hour edi has demanded to come out for:
-water
-pee
-water
-water
-i promise it’s not water again mommey!!!!
-poop
#text#she’s finally quiet#eden#10 weeks#let me sleep 😭#pi has also asked to get water and go potty but he did it all at once#but he finished the water so when edi came out there was a dribble left#and i was like u can wait til morning for more#and then she was like WATER NOW WATER NOW WATER NOW#in her crate#so i got them new water#and she was like oh hell yes water water water#then back in crate#then#HAVE TO SHITTTTT LET ME OUTTTT
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*me immediately after going through a terrifying and traumatic experience* haha yeah I guess it was rough but I'm fine now like I'm totally chill. It was kinda funny actually if you think about it
#GUESS WHO GOT A PIERCING INFECTION SO BAD OVERNIGHT SHE HAD TO RUSH TO THE HOSPITAL#AND GET SURGERY TO REMOVE IT BC THE METAL WAS BURROWING ITSELF INSIDE HER LIP#yep that was meee :3#man. it sounds so silly now. like that probably shouldn't have made me panic nearly as much as it did#but you have to understand at the time it was terrifying#I noticed my lip was a bit swollen earlier in the night but I was like ok it's probably nothing serious#I put some ice on it hoping it would be back to normal after I got some sleep#then I woke up at like 5:30 AM with my lip super swollen and my lip piercing literally burying itself inside my flesh#I tried pushing it back out a bit and blood and pus started coming out so yk I started panicking#so I went upstairs and I asked my mom to drive me to the hospital#luckily we have free healthcare in brazil and the hospital was basically empty(this was on sunday)#but when I got there they told me the doctor wouldn't arrive until 8AM and it was like 6:45 at that point#so I REALLY started panicking 🫠 bc I could feel like the piercing kept burying itself more deeply like#I felt like the skin inside my lip was going to close around it and I was terrified bc I had no idea what to do#and I was scared it might make things worse#but all I could do was sit there and wait and so I started having a panic attack#luckily my mom was there with me the whole time so at least I didn't feel alone#and then I just. waited for it to end. and then tried to keep myself distracted until the doctor got there#I got treated by military doctors! sjdjcjck the army has been giving additional support for hospitals in my city#bc of the floods some health units are currently closed and demand got higher so they needed extra support there#so an army doctor performed my surgery(inside an army tent no less ajfjjfkf maybe not ideal but. functional)#he was so nice?? like probably the calmest most careful doctor I've ever been treated by#I still had a bit of a nervous breakdown again after the surgery but that was bc I'd never been through something like that before#I got anesthesia obvs but I still felt the tug when he cut into my skin to remove the piercing and did my stitches#so my mind started cooking up all these horrible scenarios of how everything could go wrong and I was gonna die#cried on the doctor's table. 👍🏻 awesome#but he and his assistant were super nice about it she even offered me a hug#but anyway in the end I finally calmed down and got some medication#now I'm all stitched up with my little bloated lip eating soup out of a straw 👍🏻 but I'm ALIVE and I'm just glad it's all over fjjvjkf#sleep.txt
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doodles
edgar vargas and squee by johnen vasquez
scriabin by zarla-s
#sunny's art#vargas#edgar vargas#vargas zarla#scriabin vargas#zarla s#scriabin#doodles#YOU THOUGHT YOU'D SEEN THE LAST OF ME . . . . !!!!#well HELLO !!!! I'M BACK !!!!!!!!#got a new brush . what do you think of it do you like it#okay i want to ramble about these wait a second#the first one looks a bit different to the rest because i was just trying new stuff .#if i spend a long time without drawing i'll forget how to draw and well it happened#i've changed my art style like 3 times now but i still draw side profiles the same . looks weird ugh#the mug says “ JESUS loves me BECAUSE no one else will ” btw . meta gave me the idea actually . thanks meta .#about the second one . finished that one like ten minutes ago . missed drawing todd aw#i just find their whole relationship so amusing .#like yes i went crazy for like a month and now i have a brother-husband and a kid ?!#they complement each other so well though . i love them#THE UNO ONE omg i've had that idea for like A YEAR NOW and i just drew it lol#i wonder how long it would take scriabin to notice though .#when i showed this to meta she said : “ oh wow !! edgar's finally winning at something !! ” and it's SO TRUE#wonder how he does it !#and the last one . i got the idea when i was looking through zarla's account searching for fan art .#love it so much though they look like their lives aren't a living hell#anyways i'll probably make more of these . who knows#going back to school on monday . and of course i had to get inspiration four days before going back .#please PLEASE I DON'T WANT TO GET BACK TO SCHOOL . PL#okay byeee enjoy these . eat my starved followers . EAT !!!!!
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disney is a coward so I know they'll never do this, but given what we learned was SUPPOSE to happen between alex and stevie, I would still love a post-eloping for the reboot.
like just imagine alex and stevie as the Cool Gay Aunts(tm) for justin's kids (+ billie). they show up for the holidays and totally shower the kids with magical gifts, including a baby dragon for the boys (which does end up setting fire to their parents bed sheets). milo shows off a magic trick to his friends, using alex (since billie's not allowed to) sneakily casting spells from the bushes so the card really does dissapear from his hand, leaving his friends cheering (stevie smiling but refusing to admit to alex how cute is it). stevie has a motorcycle (which alex thinks is super hot but also refuses to admit) and while the kids aren't old enough for a ride, she does let them sit on it and rev the handles nice and loud while justin panics from the porch. they team up with all three kids to pull pranks on justin and even sometimes get giana in on a few harmless ones. maybe alex even uses her role on the tribunal to get stevie's records cleared, and they both start to advocate for a more fair way of distributing magic between families.
and billie could have an extra adult at her side! I know justin is suppose to fill the pseudo-dad role, but while billie spends her time with the russo's, also gets to spend her summers or whatever with her two cool wizard aunts. they encourage her to keep up with her studies but for the most part they just chill, letting billie indulge in a few sweets (knowing how health-conscious justin has forced his family to be) and sometimes in a pg-13 movie together. when she's there however, the house does turn into a prank war; guests are to be extremely careful when entering and encouraged to bring a separate pair of clothes.
I dunno it would just be super cool; alex and stevie reunited and I think the kids would love her too - plus watching their aunt who's always acted so aloof get all smiley and whatnot and I'm just imagining a scenario with alex and the kids like:
billie: why does stevie call you babygirl
alex: hey who wants to play the quiet game!!
#wizards of waverly place#wowp#wizards beyond waverly place#disney channel#I would LOVE a reappearance of stevie though just imagine it#even though billie has been training something happens where the council finally decides to strip her of her powers like alex warned about#alex and justin try going to talk to the council on billie's behalf but have to leave her behind#and when billie's all alone you suddenly see stevie slink from the shadows with a 'hey kid..'#billie is nervous at first but stevie says she actually wants to help her and that it's not fair what's happening to her#and says if billie comes with her then she can keep her powers and in a moment of worry billie makes the split decision to go with her#I dunno how alex finds out maybe roman sees it happen too late and says some girl took billie#'what girl??' 'I dunno! she was a wizard too - she kept her wand in her boot!'#and IMMEDIATELY alex knows what happened#alex eventually finds stevie and there's this VERY tense moment when they see each other#stevie still mad at alex for 'betraying' her (even if stevie was kinda right but nvm) and who's she's aligned with now#'you workin' for the man now russo? gone soft?' 'at least I'm not straight-up stealing kids'#alex still feeling a bit guilty about what she did to stevie but mad at her for taking billie#there's an almost fight (verbal or magical whichever) but in some outside chaos they loose billie#now they're forced to team up to find her#and although it's cold at first they both warm up again to each other having missed their friendship (even if it was short lived)#stevie quietly admiring how much further alex has gotten with magic and how she's excelled#and alex still having a soft heart for stevie wanting to help the wizards who got abandoned#anyway they find billie but the council is alerted to what happened and is now on their way to them to capture stevie#a cornered alex pleads with stevie saying she can persuade the council to let her go and while stevie's heart skips at that#she knows it's no use and uses her magic to create a pocket dimension to escape or something#but not before kissing alex on the corner of her lips and saying 'till next time russo - give that stuck-up council some hell for me'#freezing alex who's seconds from pulling her back and then disappears#billie enters and unfreezes alex and watches her face slowly turns crestfallen as she realizes#'do you think we'll ever see her again?' 'your guess is as good as mine kid..' '..do you want to?' '....lets head back home.'#WHAT I WOULDN'T GIVE
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I’m sorry but the bakudeku in this season truly is bananas. like why did they write this. ‘bakugo katsuki. if there’s just one thing I’m interested in about you, it’s that you’re the person closest to midoriya izuku right now. in that case, he’ll definitely come back here.’ ‘I have to win…right, izuku?’ ‘my whole body hurts. fighting while in pain, trying to spot the enemy’s tells…you already went through all this, didn’t you? hey, izuku…can I still catch up to you?’ bakugou having deku flashbacks MID-BATTLE. the all might card. deku looking like THIS when bakugou was injured:
and getting so angry that his eyes started GLOWING and mirio had to calm him down like ‘HE’S GETTING MEDICAL ATTENTION PLEASE STOP SHAKING THE EARTH WITH YOUR RAGE.’ and I’m not even finished the season yet what is going on!!!!
IM AWAREEEEEEE
#tals made me read this crazy ass timeloop fic which I also sent to hella but she refused to read it cause it's angsty#but I should send it to you#anyway. craziest development of getting back into mha was the grip those two got on me cause back in 2021 I was hardcore krbk#I wasn't even against bkdk for “toxic reasons” like every other loser was at the time I just literally couldn't ship them#I couldn't see them romantically. now im kicking fucking rocks like OKAY. OKAY THEY DO HAVE SOMETHING INSANE.#still love krbk though. I miss them bring them back idc if the manga is over do it anyway#OH THAT REMINDS ME. aiaia guess what apparently when the final manga volume releases in december#there's gonna be like 60 extra pages of content. I'm terrified#ask#witch-of-aiaia#hi aiaia!
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actually i do have something to say about this chapter and it's quite critical of it but also i'm tired tonight and i've been talking about it long and hard on discord already and putting it all together in a coherent post feels like too much of a task tonight. all i'm gonna say is that part 2 was very obviously going in a certain direction from the start, and i loved that direction, and to an extent it is still going in that direction but now very obviously missing a huge chunk of what stirred it in that direction. and i'm hesitant to simply say it's fujimoto that's dropped the ball on this (though it might the idealization, who's to say) because from the actual shape of the writing + slump in paneling/art + recent bitter interview by fujimoto + japanese audience is apparently vocally not a fan of asa + my own cursed knowledge of shounen jump and shueisha editors and how they react to a fall in sales = i think the lack of focus on asa has really hurt the themes of part 2 when she was an integral part of it + i think this wasn't entirely fujimoto's doing and it's very likely because she is apparently strongly disliked in japan and there's good reason to believe that fujimoto was told to not focus on her nearly as much bc sales slump and people complain as soon as she shows up. which sucks. becaue what made part 2 work as well as it did was the synergy and parallel between the two protagonists' paths, and the absence of asa's path in the past few months (both in universe and by real time in the comic) feels like a genuine writing and thematic and emotional hole in the comic that to me shows that she WAS supposed to be there. fujimoto had fully intended to write her in there bc there's a hole in the shape of her where she is very obviously supposed to fit. it isn't simply a question of "author forgets his female character" it's a question of "this crucial part of the manga is missing and the author is painfully aware of it and bitter about it too"
#eli talks#csm#this is still not coherent i'll make a more coherent version at one point.#anyhow this still worked for me even during the denji megafocus#bc it felt like the boomerang was gonna return and asa was gonna be back in her place#and we were gonna see the counterbalance to denji's focus#her own rise to fame and emotions during this and growth with yoru#her absorption into the church and its horrors; the love bombing and adulation she finally got#the emotions about chainsaw man as a character and growing more reliant on yoru#the bitter and dramatic fall and its immediate aftermath; reacting to losing her arm#instead we get a character who until now had been an intensely emotion-driven and passive character IMMEDIATELY thrust into action#and given v little insight into her thoughts and interiority#something is missing!#it's not like fujimoto had nothing planned for her. she was written so intently and well#and suddenly it's like she dropped out of existence#and suddenly the paneling got worse and the art got worse and the hiatuses worse#and we get an interview from fjmt where he talks bitterly about commercial expectations interfering with artistic intentions#and how he wishes he didn't have to draw aymore#a guy who talked about how he was obsessed with drawing!#idk maybe it's idealization but i feel like it's not hard to put two and two together here
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Both my parents actually suffer from HORRID emotional dysregulation and are prone to snapping and going into rages. My sister is the same way tbh. I am now realizing this is why they are constantly baffled by the question of whether or not I am mad at them.
I don't have external meltdowns.
I could. I don't let it happen.
I keep my rage on the inside and stay pretty quiet about it. It's just as strong as theirs [physically shaking nose bleed from high blood pressure kind of bad], but like as a kid I saw how terrifying it was to be around [dad breaking dishes, mom putting our lawn chairs into walls] and I just internalized that I wasn't going to wear that anger on the outside.
So my mother genuinely cannot tell if I am just being quiet or if I am silently hearing the dial-up noises of pure rage. This has lead her to both making strong and confident statements like "You are a pacifist who would never hurt a fly U.U" but also acting like I am secretly dangerous maybe... It's because she has never seen me snap.
She knows what her temper is like [throwing chairs through walls], she knows what my father's temper is like [pick up child and toss out door], and she can tell I am being tested, but she doesn't know what happens when I snap or where that breaking point is.
Her -perhaps unhinged- solution to this, my whole life, has been to do things that should obviously enrage me or shut me down completely, like ignoring important boundaries, repeatedly, punishing me for expressing emotions or needs at all, etc... And then to constantly ask me if I am angry with her when I get too quiet [right after near directly telling me to shut up].
It has occurred to me now, they have never once seen me lose my temper, so they literally just can't tell if I am angry at them. My sister is easy, my mother fights and screams with my sister constantly, my mother understands this. My mother doesn't have any grasp of feelings or boundaries that are not screamed at her [apparently, and I fear my sister is the same way]. Her and my sister are close despite constant fucking fighting because they understand each other.
They are trying to get me to engage the same way and it is not working. I realize now that this has been hard for them.
I was so successfully taught to suppress my emotions, by being punished for any outburst, that rage quiet looks the same as any other kind of quiet from the outside. To them anyway.
I did tell her. For the record. I used my words. I did tell her very calmly that my response to rage, in order to avoid doing the things that terrified me as a child, was to simply leave [the autistic urge to GTFO]. When a situation or person causes too much of the dial-up rage noise, I simply extract myself from that situation, up to and including never speaking to a person again. I explained this calmly. I explained it calmly 100 times and I explained that I explain myself calmly as my rage response 1-5 [also pretty much every other negative emotion tbh], and I told her that what came next was me simply opting out and fucking off. I told her this. I couldn't understand why she never took me seriously, or why she never fucking understood.
I couldn't understand what made her like this.
But it's the same problem I have with everyone else multiplied by a factor of 10.
If I am explaining myself calmly, they can't understand that it's actually serious or that I am actually upset. ESPECIALLY because they read me as "female" and women "aren't that rational" so if I am not screaming and crying about something, which I never do, people assume I can't be upset and it isn't serious.
And then after having my boundaries ignored too many times despite having calmly explained how and why it's a problem [shaking inside or not]... I leave. I leave and everyone gets upset like this is unexpected behaviour, even though I told them 50 times that is how I would respond if they kept doing *the thing.*
And for neurotypical people especially, they are expecting there to be a disconnect between what someone says they need or feel and what their actually boundaries and feelings are, and they expect the latter to be demonstrated with emotions. Telling them bluntly you do not function that way somehow never helps?
My mother isn't just looking for normal yelling or a few tears to know I am serious, whether or not I do those either [I don't], she's looking for an explosion to know there's a problem at all.
Fucked if I know how she proceeds through life this way in general or if this is just her expectation of her own kids???
And I couldn't get why my mother couldn't read my emotions and didn't seem to think I have any. It's because she's testing for the rage limit to see where my 'actual' limit is instead of taking my word for it. Never the fuck mind that she could simply *not* test at my boundaries instead of letting me have them. Separate issue.
I couldn't figure out what made her *like this*
She's expecting me to throw a giant meltdown violent tantrum at people when I have 'actually' had enough. Maybe she got away with those being like 5'4" in another time, but I am the size of the average man, I do not get to have giant screaming rages, whether or not people perceive me consciously as a woman, and least of all because a lot of people -at least unconsciously- read me as 'masculine' or at least always "they guy" of the situation compared to all other women and some men [bigger stronger and more rational, more able to just absorb the damage and let it go so the less rational screaming/crying one doesn't have to be dealt with]. Even if it was in me to be willing to terrify people [usually never], there are such limited instances where it wouldn't just blow back on me. Potentially very dangerously.
I am going to be the quiet calm one. You are going to have to let me use my words, bitch.
So she kept ignoring my boundaries until I had to cut her out of my life, and she probably doesn't understand and probably thinks it feels sudden -after 36 long years of bullshit- abrupt and unfair.
But I told her hundreds of times.
I probably should have just screamed at her.
#good stay out of our yard' and he didn't seem to know what to say to that#but other than that I don't think anyone in my adult life has ever seen me turn aggressive at all to the point where people 100% like to#play games of testing my patience and my boundaries because they think my tolerance is infinite#but like I have autistic rage tantrums on both sides of my family and they are just happening inside my head#And somehow it took me until now to realize that being that way was actually -expected- of me by my parents and especially my mother#and that by keeping myself outwardly level headed to be considerate I actually took away whatever signals she can understand#to have empathy for how I must be feeling#I mean it's still all on her#but it makes so much sense of why she's fucking *like this*#And why my sister thinks I hate her just because -she- stopped texting -me-#but that fucking guy#Every time I was like#In my adult life I have screamed at someone ONE whole time and it was 1000% deserved#And I threw heavy objects around one whole other time and in my defense I didn't do it in front of the guy he just felt the ground shaking#heard the thuds and came back to the logs blocking his path because that fucker wouldn't stop parking in our yard after being asked#and then TOLD not to about 10 times because he was acting entitled to just park in our yard and was crushing my plants???#seriously I don't know what his deal was but he wouldn't stop telling me how much the ground shaking scared him like it was supposed#to get my pity like I think this guy took one look at the logs I had just tossed down and was suddenly afraid of this “woman” he was#bullying in their own yard and so my ability to feel bad for scaring him had gone straight out the fucking window#I looked at him and said stop parking in our yard instead of your own you are killing my plants#he'd just fucking be like 'well the last people to live here let us D: :)“ and I'd be like ”good for them?“ ”stop“#and he'd just keep doing it#I was having a week of insomnia and was finally having the best dream#the kind of sex dream you have like twice in your life#and this fucker had just gotten some noisy ass little bike with a spoiler on it#and starts it up right under my window at 3am from IN OUR FUCKING YARD#so I had a nice long anger nap and just after he got home from work and was sleeping in his house#I picked up these chunks of deadwood tree from the back#there was like 3-4 logs that used to be a WHOLEASS fucking oak tree Like these logs were not as heavy as they -looked- but they were still#this fucker deleted half the tags I wrote and I am not retyping that fuck you tumblr so fucking hard
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if cliché bad, why grey restraining tim from following lucy into the o.r. after spotting her being pushed in on a gurney so, so good????
#*carly catalogs#..... i'll shut up now#(actually no i won't) cause imagine tim finally caving into his emotions and breaking down in tears in gry's arms#ooohhohohoho i know it's extra cheesy but what is life without cheese anyway??????#i'm just picturing grey holding him back like 'hey hey hey bradford! stop! you can't be with her right now!'#omg and it would parallel so well with the time boden held kelly back from seeing shay after she got that first head injury#ya know from that one time her and gabby got crashed into while in the back of the ambulance#okay okay i swear i'll shut up about putting lucy in the hospital again#....... until i think of the next thing in a few minutes/hours/weeks/months whenever really#the rookie#sergeant grey#wade grey#tim bradford#lucy chen#chenford#otp: you know me so well
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Thought too long about Hermoine daughter of Meneleus and Helen and got sad
#wren rambles#greek mythology#the iliad#the odyssey#i am actually not 100% sure what stories shes in#but i got interested at her mention in the odyssey and then read her wiki page#girl lost BOTH her parents for 17 years when she was 9#grew up probably raised mostly by Clyemnestra which. no one wants.#her parents finally came back from troy and their re-honeymoon in africa#and three years later shes send off to marry Neoptolemus#an agrragement her father made during the trojan war#(now marriage customs were different ans this arragement would have been normal.#and she doesnt seem to hate the idea [though her opinion isnt mentioned] so it could just be a normal marriage agreement#however it IS Neoptolemus. who is often portrayed as brutal and violent.#tho idk what hes like outside of war. anyway. happiness of the marruage aside#its probably a shock to be Nine Years Old and then when youre solidly in your 20s your dad comes back abd is like MARRIAGE TIME)#and THEN Orestes and Neoptolemus fight over her and she marries Orestes (her cousin. but again. ancient greece)#just. most of that generation of kids lost only their father#some perminantly#telemachus for 20 years#most for at least ten years#but Heromine lost BOTH her parents#lost the relationship with her MOTHER which the vibe i get was SUPER valuble#(if Demeter's attitude is anything to go by and the cultural vibe of mother-daughter relationship)#helen even did cite that she was a foolish creature for leaving her husband and beloved daughter#ALSO Hermione not having any full siblings means something to me#idk just. Helen's only daughter. left behind.#Helen's only CHILD left behind
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Undead Unluck ch.231 thoughts
[Do You Remember~ The 17th Night of November~]
(Topics: criticism - pacing/narrative focus, character analysis - Gina/Feng/Julia/Billy, speculation - Soul/Ruin)
Juggling Glass and Rubber
Damn, Tozuka, you weren't lyin', that Unjustice can sweep the Master Rules!
I'll admit I am a little disappointed by this turn of events because, like I was saying the last several weeks, I expected there to be an extra wrinkle that kept Unjustice from trivializing all of the MR fights, especially the ones that hadn't actually happened yet!
Yusai I was always pretty shaky on, and since she never got much characterization going in, I'm not exactly surprised, but the rest were definitely bummers
I've said before that I'm fine with skipping the Sick fight since Rip and Latla's climax already happened, but it's not like there was nothing to be done with it, like focusing on Sick's desire for revenge or having Rip look back on the mistakes he made in L100
Same thing with Billy and Tatiana's reunion - technically the climax of their joint arc was at the end of L100 when they promised to stay by each other's side until death, but I always thought of that as the setup to an upcoming payoff, not the payoff itself. It's definitely still salvageable here, but I think having Tatiana come in to save Billy when he's having trouble would have felt a lot more cathartic if it was focused on and analyzed rather than just...happening. Some insight as to why Billy was having trouble using Unjustice, like perhaps being overloaded with too many new Rules or reconciling with the choices he'd made, would have given Tatiana something internal to save him from as well as something external
I guess my issue here is that we're not really getting to see the effects that Remember is having on the cast as a whole, which I think would have better served as the focus here. I don't know if it's that Tozuka has been given a set number of chapters to work with by Jump or what, but it seems likely that Tozuka had ideas for how he wanted to execute everyone's arcs and fights but had to prioritize who to give the lion's share of the focus to for the sake of maximizing narrative impact
Case in point, the characters who he did manage to analyze here each had a pretty unique interaction with Remember
Remember Who You Are
Despite how brief their scenes are here, I do think that Gina and Feng's moments illustrate Remember's value remarkably well
Gina starts referring to everyone by the old nicknames she used for them in L100, only to amend "L'il Lucky" back to just "Fuuko," directly demonstrating the mental gap between the present and past. Gina naturally picks up her old habit, but isn't restricted by it. The respect and love she has for Fuuko goes beyond what can be expressed by a cute nickname, and those feelings were forged through L101 Gina's relationship with Fuuko. It's subtle, but it's a nice little cherry on top of Gina's arc
Feng, meanwhile, is noted to be getting stronger as Time ages him. This could be taken two ways: either he's stronger because of Remember and Time misread the situation, OR because Feng knows that he would have spent his time training and improving, his body, mind and soul are developing proportionally rather than being aged in a vacuum. The latter is thematically appropriate to countering Time's philosophy that age's function is to weed out those who have outlived their usefulness, while the former is a direct result of all of Feng's accumulated years across loops compounding simultaneously. Could be a little of both, honestly
What's even better about Feng's moment, though, is what he says in response to Julia's help: "I'm not deserving of your charity." In the past, Feng definitely would have been mad about getting help, resenting the idea that anyone thought he couldn't hack it on his own, but that's not what he said here. He believes he's done nothing to earn Julia's aid, that whatever Time was going to do to him, he had coming, and this is certainly because he remembers what he did. All of the people that he's ever killed, the lives that he ruined, especially his own son's, he now knows and can look back on from the perspective of having just abandoned the mentality he had back then
If Feng still believed in individual strength before receiving Remember, he probably would have looked back on the failures of his past as the results of his own physical weakness, not because of a flawed philosophy. Instead, Feng has already proven that he's stronger now after learning the true value of his age and legacy, so while he can still improve thanks to the lessons he can learn from his past self, the current Feng is able to retain his new outlook because he has an objective point of comparison that this was the farthest he ever made it
These are the sorts of subtle advancements I wanted to see from the whole cast, and again, while we still can see them, I think having a chapter dedicated to showing each little vignette would have been more effective than either breaking them up like this or showing such a notable imbalance between them
At the very least, though, even without being the primary focus of the chapter, Julia's interaction with Remember is far and away the most interesting one
Welcome Back, Juiz
Julia's behavior just before and after Fuuko actives Remember easily provides the most contrast of everyone and best demonstrates the tremendous growth rate that Remember allows
Prior to Remember, Julia was only able to use Unjustice involuntarily. To great effect, mind you, but still by accident: first when she stopped Soul's attack, and (seemingly) second, when she used it to reduce the damage of Soul's attack and ride it back to the surface. It's not explicitly stated that that's what happened here, but if Soul's intention was to kill Julia with that, he really dropped the ball, so I choose to believe that his bloodlust was negated by Unjustice
Afterwards, Julia was using Unjustice like a pro. She dropped War down a phase, got Time to bring Feng back to his prime, and even got Death to take out Luck, a feat that Fuuko objectively wouldn't have been able to accomplish with Unluck alone since Luck would have been able to avert Death's inadvertent attack with his good fortune. The most impressive part to me, though, is that she was able to channel Unjustice into her soul!
By putting Unjustice in her saber, Julia effectively injected Unjustice directly into Change's body, ensuring that she couldn't live by her own philosophy of constant change, even if Julia wasn't physically there to make visual contact. Juiz never learned soul manipulation, and Julia only just now mastered Unjustice thanks to her memories, so the fact that Julia was able to integrate those two abilities into such a high level technique is proof that her current self has in no way been overtaken by Juiz's memories, the most major worry that everyone had for Remember's use
That's not to say that none of Juiz's experiences made it to Julia, she still did remember Juiz's entire life after all. Beyond just Juiz's techniques and physical abilities, Julia went from panicking over Soul's attacks and Victor's injuries to calmly and confidently taking out the MRs one by one. She knows now what she's capable of and the weight that she carries, and she remembers what kind of relationships she had with everyone else. This is likely why she went to Billy first - both to give him access to Unjustice to make him stronger and to remind him that, despite their pasts, they aren't enemies anymore
The look of shock on Billy's face suggests that he was paralyzed by the realization of his past actions, and it's Julia's words that snap him back into the present and bring a smile back to his face. That's really what I was talking about earlier; giving Billy an internal conflict with his memories would have provided an angle that no one else really had while also allowing him a stronger character moment with both Julia and Tatiana
Still, even if it's a weaker moment than it could have been, I do appreciate Julia's direct acknowledgment of Billy as an ally, as it at least subtly harkens back to their previous encounter. Where previously Billy stole Unjustice and lost the ability to use it after Juiz had some time to think about his motivations as an enemy, this time Julia is willingly entrusting Unjustice to Billy as an ally
Actually, I wonder if perhaps that's why Tozuka had Billy fail to use Unjustice on Sick, because he is still fighting that internal conflict...for now, I'll choose to believe that Tozuka has that in his back pocket, but I won't be redacting any of my criticisms until he makes good on that, as this review is based on my immediate interpretations and I don't want to erase all of this and redo it...
Along the same lines, not only does Tozuka still have a backdoor for analyzing Billy, he also still has one for giving us some more cool moments for the rest of the Master Rules as well
Put Me Back in, Coach!
Despite one-shotting seven MRs all at once, Julia didn't actually manage to clear the field. The Union's gearing up to face Sun, but they seem to be forgetting: they didn't actually beat Soul. He's still in the Roundtable Room, and he's undoubtedly more pissed than ever
I'm not sure if I would have caught this on my own before seeing their post on this, but Webmantis on twitter pointed out that the MRs' souls must all have been sent to Subspace, the cosmic waiting room that all souls go too between loops. They note that, since Soul hasn't entered Phase 3 yet, he'll most likely be able to bring everyone back
However, they also note that doing so would be an odd narrative choice, as it would make Julia's steamrolling seem kinda pointless. Why bother killing off a bunch of characters just to revive them in the next chapter?
Fortunately, I think I've come up with the perfect answer to that very question!
Firstly, it's to show off Julia's post-Remember Unjustice; we were promised a sweep, and Tozuka made good on it in spectacular fashion. Second, and more importantly, their deaths are necessary for Soul to reach Phase 3
Fuel for the Fire
You may recall from a few weeks ago that I described the mechanism that the MRs use to reach Phase 3 is absorbing their Rule directly: Change absorbed the change in her shape when she was cut in half, Time absorbed Shen's lifespan, War absorbed Billy and Tella's violence, Justice absorbed Yusai's resolve, etc. This is why Death only just now reached Phase 3, because no one was dying the entire battle until she was forced to personally kill Luck, and Luck was likely being prevented from absorbing any fortune by Unluck
So now that all of the MRs other than Soul are dead, their souls are free of their vessels. I don't know if their vessels were actually preventing Soul from accessing their souls, but since he seems to consider the others his friends, he probably didn't want to resort to absorbing them either way, but now? It doesn't matter if he could or couldn't before, now he has to, otherwise it's all for nothing
Now, the question may be how he'll be able to reach them. Webmantis' proposition was that reaching Phase 3 would give Soul access to Subspace, but I'm saying that he won't be able to reach Phase 3 without the souls that are there - that's a pretty clear logical paradox
Well, not to speculate too much, but I think we already have our answer to that one too: Soul's finally going to change
Another topic I've been going on and on about lately is the stagnation and inflexibility of the Rules, the most notable being Soul's rejection that souls are connected. However, Soul saw that new facet of his Rule be added in real time, by Negators that aren't even his vessel. The only one who should have control over his Rule is himself, and yet he's seen others interact with their souls through reinterpretation time and again (Andy vs. Ghost, Gina vs. Change, etc.). In other words, he should know full well by now that his Rule isn't as set in stone as he once thought, and if everyone else can control their souls through their perspective, then why couldn't Soul himself?
With the lesson that Julia just taught him about souls, Soul can connect himself to his fallen comrades and drag them back from Subspace (or prevent them from reaching it in the first place), and achieve Phase 3 by adding their souls to his own. Whether this would mean gaining power over their Rules or reviving them is another question, but at the very least it would show tremendous growth in his character
I'll go into more detail on this if it comes to pass, but Soul learning to change his perspective on his Rule would make him more like the Negators, more like a human. This would also make him the most well-rounded and developed UMA to date, which I think would more than make up for any loss of characterization among the rest of them
Now, I would definitely prefer that he brings back the MRs, if only so we can see Luck's Phase 3 (c'mon, he's Fuuko's foil for cryin' out loud!!!), but even if he just integrates them into himself, I think that would create the perfect parallel to give the final member of the Union a chance to demonstrate his growth
The Man Who Would be King
While fighting Soul, Sun and Luna are all clearly the most important boxes to check off right now, there's still one more that Tozuka alluded to in this chapter: Ruin's return
How Remember will affect him exactly, I won't speculate on, but I think it will give him the final push he needs to join the Union and help fight God. If my previous speculation about Soul comes to pass, then that would make Soul the ideal matchup for Ruin
Not only would they have the parallels of being "multiple souls in one body," it would also be the ultimate payoff to Ruin's designation as The King of Negators. If Soul is Master Rule #1, then it's Ruin's destiny as the Negator King to negate all of the Master Rules in his reformation and rebellion against the God he so thanklessly devoted his life to
This would also present the opportunity for Ruin to reform the MRs too and unify both Negator and UMA as I've speculated on before, but again, I don't want to go too far into it here. As it stands, this is just me making things up, and I don't want to either raise my hopes too high OR preemptively run out of things to say, but the parallel is so interesting that I can't help but get excited by the possibility
Conclusion
As always, it's entirely possible that I'm wrong about all of this. Maybe Soul's gonna try to go Phase 3 and self-destruct because of Unjustice; maybe Soul is gonna fuse with Sun in Phase 3 and they'll become "SOL;" maybe Kururu's going to use Unchaste to aggro Sun into shooting Soul dead. I don't know. There's always a chance that what we get isn't as interesting as what we envision; the best we can do is be open to what we do get rather than insisting it has to be the way we want
If there's one thing I hope I've gotten across with this review, it's that I don't want to get hung up on the negatives, but I also don't want to just ignore them either. I am disappointed that certain plot points are being glossed over, and that's a valid response for any of us to have, but I'm not going to go so far as to say this was a bad chapter because of it. Good things definitely still happened within this chapter, and there's plenty of chance that good things will come out of what this chapter set up
As I said, all there is to do now is be patient and open-minded. If this ends up just being a lull in an otherwise fantastic finale, so be it. If it ends up being the start of a rushed mess, so be it. The only way to know is to be there to see it
Until then, let's enjoy life!
#undead unluck#fouryearsandananime#4y1a reviews#a couple of loose ends i couldn't find a good spot to bring them up in:#bunny's hair is styled after leila's instead of latla's this time. i think she's super cute this way#i've seen a bunch of people point out that change's core has freckles just like gina#i could've used that to analyze more of change's character but i don't feel like it gives me much more than I've said before#maybe if i ever do a dedicated change analysis I'll dig deeper into that symbol but for now it's just a fun easter egg#clothy's got juniors now so i'm really hoping that he'll get to go phase 2 at some point. i think that'd be a hilarious way to beat the god#can you imagine if it turns out that clothy is The Heart?#and finally - victor can only be maintained for ten minutes??? nooo they've gotta find a loophole somehow!#maybe The Heart will help with that? or they'll do something with his soul?? i don't know but it'd be cruel to kill him off after last week#at the very least he's gotta be able to come back on command right...?#if my theory of L102 is correct his soul will probably split off from andy officially and they'll be their own individuals permanently
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I often wonder about the quote-unquote logistics of Corvo the Black/Emily the Butcher endings. Emily makes more sense to me, in a way, carving her way through the empire only to come back with blood caked under her fingernails and realising that she did everything her father refused to do 15 years ago. but why did Corvo have a similar choice?
what happens to the statues later? does Emily keep her father trapped in stone? does Corvo look at his daughter, frozen in the moment and considers freeing her? is he at his deathbed when he finally reaches out and cups Emily's cheek, freeing her into a carcass of an empire that he gutted for her, in her name, in the name of her mother?
when I first heard of the endings I thought that if you reach very high chaos, you are locked into this choice - Corvo or Emily tries to free the other and the stone just doesn't budge. they are trapped. the quest is over but the world knows that the bloodshed was extreme and this is the punishment they have to face
#li.txt#dh#dishonored#kinda like the high chaos brigmore witches ending#there is no reason for corvo to kill daud if you finish BW in high chaos. but he still does. because the world Knows#but the very Active choice of the player and by extension the character to take the throne and keep their last family locked in stone....#its certainly a choice. and it makes me wonder about many a thing#i really wish we got more info#karnaisbear mentioned that itd be cool if we got comics expanding on alternate endings and like arkane. arkane can we please get those#I just really wanna know What It Was Like to live under the rule of Emily or Corvo in the very high chaos endings#and the fact that it seems like they can still free the other person? that adds so much more angst and tension to it#is there a time limit? do years pass and does corvo grow old and weary and thinks that yes#he has done his job and he has done it well. and the empire is righted and he can hand it back to emily now#and he cups her cheek and it remains cold marble#and all he did was for nothing#and he cries#(can u tell ive been reading thru the corvo the black tag)#not to mention something similar to that but with emily!!#imagine she grows old! older than corvo was when he was frozen!#the century is coming to a close when she finally frees him and she is older so much older and corvo will have to live with losing her#in every single impossible way he has lost her#and then he gets to bury his daughter#these tags got so dark wtf
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The Trojan Horse/La guerra di Troia (1961)
Ignore the complete mischaracterisation of Helen and the inaccuracy of events, you need to see this sequence of how Paris dies. It's absolutely WILD.
#helen of sparta#paris of troy#menelaus#trojan war#tagamemnon#The Trojan Horse (1961)#film#*waves* hello its me. back again with another old movie clip.#I guess this is just what I do now. I've fallen down a very niche rabbit hole here haven't I asdfghkjj#I skipped around this film for the fun of it and then proceeded to stumble upon THIS juggernaut of a scene that left me :O#just speechless really. there's so much inaccuracy going on here but you've got to admit they made an incredibly tense moment.#this is the most villain-y helen I've seen I think. Not a fan of how she's depicted here at all lol#but the imagery of helen refusing the sword and dealing the fatal 'final blow' with the TOUCH OF HER HAND... absolute cinema#the red dress to match with the achaeans' red clothing... already changing alliances.#and need I say anything about the crown? and literally everything that happens between menelaus and paris here? It's NUTS#poor paris. what a gut punch of an end to your life :( the directors were out for your blood in this movie#(fyi. if the voices sound unsynced/stilted it's because they're dubbed)#rn i dont intend to watch this film further. im just neurodivergent + delight in finding shiny new objects related to my interests#teehee c: a collector of weird and obscure information at heart <3
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