#and now its three am great
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vse-kar-vem · 15 days ago
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ok so my pet theory about souvenir pop is that bluza & stephanie are both about bojan's relationship with the same character, just at different points in their relationship-- the first song in a moment of passion, and the second in retrospect, with a much more cynical tone. (essay below..)
both songs tell the story of a whirlwind romance, bojan and 'stephanie' becoming instantly taken with each other in a "lightning strike." obvious narritive similarities aside, bojan's past impulsivity and hopeless romanticism shine through in stephanie, as he reminisces that he knew "right from the start." within literally the first 3 lines of bluza, bojan proclaims his devotion to stephanie as his "muse," declaring dramatically "i think i've fallen in love with you." the depth of his emotion ("a stroke or a racing heart") is similarly elaborated on back in stephanie-- it is entirely possible that both occasions of bojan falling head over heels for someone at a gathering in a short amount of time are, in fact, the SAME event.
HERE IS WHERE THE SPECULATION COMES IN. bluza ends, "if the sun rises, i'll be alone," the exact reason for his abandonment left ambiguous. this question is answered in stephanie, as time finally passes-- "the morning came." despite bojan's relentless desperation to stay with stephanie, he is given a reality check, the blunt statement contrasting his emotive laments of the night before. ("the morning" could also be interpreted as the morning after stephanie's friend threw up.. but that's not fun :(.) on that day, she texts him "a photo of a plane"-- a perfect explanation for her absence and bojan's despair in bluza!!!
i believe what bojan so feared in bluza (the growing distance between) dooms their relationship. when they were in the throes of romance, stephanie and bojan "passed kilometers between (them) in a single heartbeat." these metaphorical kilometers materialise into existance by the time of stephanie (song), the titular character now living "about a thousand miles away." there's a sense of irony in that distance, which before had seemed no obstacle (even, in a way, proof of their love) is now a fundamental, bitter fact about stephanie and bojan, their relationship having withered away at least in part due to it.
stephanie ends as bojan repeatedly laments, "love ain't built for people like me." like him, how? one questions. what about him does he believe is so incompatible with the ideas of "love" and "happiness"? while there are hints in stephanie itself, in my opinion, his percieved problem can largely be deciphered in bluza-- "living in yesterday." in both songs, bojan demonstrates a stubborn refusal to look towards the future, to adapt to problems-- and, by proxy, a stubborn refusal to move on from stephanie (or move on in general). in stephanie (song), he copes by drinking away his sorrows. in bluza, while sober, we are offered a more in depth insight into bojan's thought process-- with stephanie, he lived in denial. he pleads desperately, "don't turn the lights on yet," for "just one more moment," completely refusing to engage with the future and what it hold for him and stephanie's relationship. in bluza, bojan deals with changes by simply ignoring what happens after, stephanie's mere departure seeming like a psychological breakup to him. this defeatist attitude after she leaves (more making shit up now) leads to the tragic collapse of their relationship, eventually culminating in stephanie (song), as he keeps "downing drinks to drown tomorrow, and live in yesterday."
ultimately, bluza and stephanie are used to explore the the cycle of bojan's unhealthy coping mechanisms and inability to adapt to change through two different perspectives, then and now. his persisting love for stephanie between the songs acts a through line as we begin to understand his behaviour and thoughts in relation to her.
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carnivalcarriondiscarded · 1 year ago
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saw @chez-cinnamon's absolutely BANGER butterfly!Howdy design and couldn't resist! two fluffy flutterbyes <3 solidarity
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redbootsindoriath · 2 years ago
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Oh.
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Okay.
I’m honestly pretty surprised because this was supposed to just be a goofy little blog where I put nonsense stuff that maybe a few people would see and then move on.  Even the tagging system I use is because I didn’t care about the blog being easy to find.  However, unlike Fëanor, I don’t mind finding myself with more followers than I planned for.
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Thank you all so much for being here, I hope I’m not disappointing anyone in any way, and to those of you who have been here since the beginning, thanks for your patience.
I’m hoping to do something big-ish for a proper celebration and thank you, but I didn’t really plan ahead much so it might be a while before I’m able to get something pulled together.  In the meantime, here’s a Third Age Finrod.
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Again, thanks to all of you for being here and being so nice (whether I’m active or not), and for all of the wonderful comments, and for the reblogs that have spread my nonsense much further across the fanbase than I would ever have imagined.
Transcription:
[Fingolfin:] “Yeah well I never liked you anyway.  Idiot.”
[Mouth of Sauron:] “Is there anyone in this rout with authority to treat with me?” [Finrod:] “Of course!  I’m Dungalef and this is my good friend...uh...Nrogara Rassele.”
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lacnunga · 3 months ago
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In the wake of the IA situation, I've seen a lot more posts circulating about using your local library and I just. Sigh
#i dont know whether these people are thinking of Big City libraries#or their local is the most well stocked most accommodating library known to man#but my library consists of mostly kids books and ww2 skinned romance lites and james patterson thrillers#if youre lucky theres some pop history books on the tiny shelf in the back#oh also the opening times? 0930 to 1700 of course. yknow. when most ppl are at work :)#oh except sunday. when were just closed ;)#trying to get the library to bring in a specific book? sorry that'll be nine months and we'll send it to the library#in booksbury-upon-tyne which will cost you a £30 round train ticket (if the trains are running ;)) and a three hour journey#(cause were swr and life is a fucking nightmare)#im not doing that for a book im not even sure will be relevant to what im looking for yknow#i guess what im saying is that while i love the concept of libraries#they havent really evolved with the times. theyve been what theyve been for a millenia#and the intellectual value they were built to provide hasnt kept up with the funds theyre actually allocated#now i will say these are kinda complaints specific to me cause im not the biggest fiction reader#and if i am theyre mainly classics so my gripe is more with the proviso of non fiction books#and the variety of them which is incredibly narrow#and i dont drive so the intersection of this with the hellscape that is south englands public transport network also sucks dick and balls#like i realise the library provides a lot of necessary resources for older people and kids and those without internet access etc.#but that does leave a large swathe of people with little to no reason or time to visit the library yknow.#i dont blame the library workers of course but i also dont think its the visitors (customers?) fault#that there isnt a great incentive for them to visit#especially since i have found most of my fave nonfiction books in second hand stores#which would have either cost £80 new or would have been locked ina university library out of reach of the common folk#whatever. ramble ramble yada yada. ev complains again whats new
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vivacia-18 · 4 months ago
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I'm about halfway to two thirds through You Feel It Just Below the Ribs, and asdjasdlkajsadjal
The reveals, the implications, I can't even - mentally I'm rolling on the floor frothing at the mouth. I want to go back and listen to season 3 and season 1 all over again, holy shiiiiit
#viv18chatter#within the wires#you feel it just below the ribs#bless my library for having such a great collection#did not expect to find a book written for an alternative history podcast in its repertoire#but have it they did! all three versions I might add - physical digital and audio#anyways point is shit is really coming out now and I am loving the fictional tea#both from the ''actual'' autobiography and the side implications of the footnotes and interludes#well in between wanting to shake the fictional authors of said footnotes and interludes lol#''edited for clarity'' edited HOW? Was the writing smudged or otherwise unclear and you made your best guess?#did you change words around that YOU thought didn't make sense?#TELL ME WHAT WAS EDITED DAMMIT#and that's not even getting into the VERY opinionated footnotes and interludes#I know it would be expensive and tricky to make#but man I would love if the authors were able to make a special edition of this book#that looked like the actual manuscript#or like ... the one that was released in-universe that was being beta'd by the publishers - so we see the handwritten pages with smudges#the faded typewriter pages#with the publishers notes etc all over it#oooh stretch goal of the internal communications while going over the manuscript would prbably be a fun aside too#sometimes I wonder if there weren't multiple people making footnotes (though only one making the interludes I think)#because sometimes they vary quite wildly in tone#that could just be situational of course#but still#interesting thoughts
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jrueships · 4 months ago
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guess whos not going in at all this week, actually
#MY MANAGER EMAILED LIKE 2 HOURS B4 I HAD TO GO IN#she finally changed my schedule (1 day) to the night shift today#(i emailed her to be safe just kinda casually reaffirming im going in at the new time & then asking if any other shifts wanted 2 be changed#bcs that sounds great to me whstever option she goes with#she ignored that question & i get a new email from her asking if i completed a training. lets called it DOC#basically a long time ago she said 'i will send you DOC instructions soon' .. a few days pass and i get three 50 paged packets#one is called NAVIGATING DOC#im like oh ok cool that must be the DOC training shes talking abt bcs the other 2 packets were abt various trainings#NAH BRUH. APPARENTLY THE DAY IM SUPPOSED TO GO IN. SHE MESSAGES ME SOME ENTIRELY ALIEN PROGRAM#and is like 'u completed this right? cus if u didnt u cant come in today.'#LIKE?? MAYBE I WOULDA IF U SENT THE SHIT#but it's also like. dam i shouldve emailed prompting her to send what she said she would n clarifying BUT FUCK#WHY DO I GOTTA?? IM NOT THE MANAGER#she literally told me the name of the program rn thru email so i type it in and see like four hour long modules to complete#mind u i aint never even been informed a WHISPER abt this new program. nothings even labeled DOC TRAINING#but my struggle is. was i notified this?? and i just didnt see??? was i supposed to clarify with her what the DOC training was exactly??#the only thing ive heard abt doc training b4 this is 'i need to send u DOC training soon' in EMAIL. so i expected an alert#abt THE DOC TRAINING... in an EMAIL notification. WHAT THE HELL IS THIS#idk man#i dont even care bro like im busy as hell & the work is just to build clinic hours so i dont care abt the money factor#it's just like. can we get this first day jitters thing over with already?? im so over this bro#yaddayadda i emailed her an apology n ill be on that ASAP shit. but i did let her know i am basically justnnow seeing this site#n if there was any email or notif that couldve/tried to inform me of its existence 2 pls let me know / figure out how to find it#so the issue doesnt occur again & i dont have to keep botherinher which im so srry of bcs med is stress n shes just trying to get by#but still bro im a lil miffed bcs she probably thinks im stupid now and now im wondering if i AM#bcs WDYM ONLINE MODULES. AINT NOBODY SAID SH IT EVEN ABT THE EXISTENCE OF THEM!!! i wouldve pressed harder 4 clarification#if i knew it was an ONLINE MODULE i had to look out for on some randomass site i didnt even know the name of until now#instead of the EMAIL UVE BEEN 'COMMUNICATING' WITH ME ON#ARREGHHHHHHHH IM NOT STUPID. I SWEAR IM NOT STUPID FUCCK MY BAKA LIFE
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hwsforeignrelations · 2 months ago
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RANT
#hey boss#u uh- u said i was working sun n wed- can i have more consistent days so i have days to block out for interviews?#.#uve been forewarned#ok so its four months into my gap year and HOLY SHIT JOB SEARCHING IS SO FRUSTRATING#so im working as a clerk at this law firm mon and wed (only 8 hours total tho)#n i THOT i had my reatil job in the bag but then boss goes “yea im really sorry but i cant give u three days - only sundays and weds”#so i was like great ok i need another job thats cool ill just bliock out sundays and weds for potential employers#THEN on sat boss texts n goes “ahhh i dont need u till next week- also can u switch ur wed to fri”. ??????? MA'AM#so i go#she says sorry kid i dont WHICH IS FINE I APPRICIATE THE COMMUNICATION#so i have an interview the next day at a coffee shop for a time THE MANAGER OFFERED#i show up after having pit my day aside for this noon interview#i walk in employees go “uh ho manager stepped out”#she camnt come back for the rest of the day AND doesnt apologize in her email- just “unfourntallyyyy i didnt have time to check my email”#MAAM YOU SEND THE INVITE#whatever#luckily last friday i was invited to this job fair by like four diff locations in san fran n was immeditaly hired#(first trial shift tmr yay!)#but the commute is gonna be KILLER#however im hopeful n i love coffee so yay#also my pet sitting is taking off ive got two sits booked for october#which is suprising bc im also traveling for half the month#manchester edenbrough st andrews milan lake como babayyyyyyy#also this thursday im heading to chicago and maine for a wedding (yay go love!) and to tenessee for another wedding in jan#so now ive got law firm retail associate barista dog sitter n i just KNOW when the holidays roll around n both retail jobs will be wack ill#be floored#but. ahem anywats good things frustrating thinsg stressful things but GOD am i glad i took this gap year#oh yea and ive been hiking tones! lands end trail#tilden park
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bbq-potato-chip · 7 months ago
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kind of want to rewatch cowboy bebop
#honestly i dont know why i just got this wave of nostalgia for some reason#i watched it in the middle of the pandemic. i distinctly remember binging it and eating icecream sandwiches#ik the pandemic was bad but i. i kind of miss sitting around.........#missing that 3 2 1 lets jam you know.#honestly out of all the watanabe productions its really not my most favorite.#space dandy and samurai champloo are my personal favorites#but i've been in a cowboy bepop mood lately. not sure why#its kind of sad though that its the most popular...WHERE ARE MY SPACE DANDY FANS!! HELLOOO#if cowboy bebop and samurai champloo are like bleach and naruto space dandy is like the gintama#which isnt a great analogy but i think it works.#not to mention the fact that the music SLAPS. honestly all three of them have great soundtracks but#space dandy really is my favorite. it just scratches an itch in my brain idk what to say#if space dandy has 1 million fans i am one of them if space dandy has 100 fans i am one of them if space dandy has#10 fans i am one of them. if space dandy has 1 fan that is me. if space dandy has no fans then i am no longer on this earth. thank you#oh and not to mention that the animation is stunning. they get experimental with it and its really cool#its done by the same people who animated mob pyscho i think. not 100% about that but im p sure#i would rb sooooo many gifs but. no one cares about it unfortunately :\#sorry this totally derailed. uh. now i kind of want to rewatch space dandy instead lol
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arosnowflake · 8 months ago
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The problem with BOTW is that it's obnoxiously popular in the LOZ fandom to the detriment of other games but also unfortunately it's genuinely really really fun to write fanfic for.
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hballegro · 3 months ago
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my greatest weakness is im really bad at figuring out when im supposed to end a chapter. getting the voice of these characters semi-right, remembering all lore surrounding them, googling info i need, all of that is dressing. my true greatest foe is knowing when to cut it out
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dhmis-autism · 1 year ago
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SORRY. JUST REALIZED I ORIGINALLY SKETCHED THE STUFF FROM THAT LAST WIP POST IN. MARCH.
GODDDD...
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#I GUESS MY WRIST FUCKING UP PUT ME FURTHER BACK THAN I THOUGHT#but also like. i was JUST talking about it in chat. i have a comic about the Three Of Them that i wrote in a frenzy in FEBUARY.#by the time i rewrote the dialogue and figured out the ending it was SEVEN FUCKING PAGES. SOLID.#OF JUST SCRIPT.#I STILL HAVENT EVEN FINISHED SKETCHING IT. YOU GUYS ARE NOT SEEING THAT SHIT UNTIL 2024#sometimes an idea of them will grasp me and i will just write the script out in the middle of the night#I realistically. dont even know if you guys are gonna like my scripted stuff.#the first scripted thing i wrote was a yellow&duck comic that im STILL SKETCHING BACKGROUNDS ON#i could be really bad at writing for them. i could totally not get them at all.#but hey!#we'll see when we see I guess#BUT YEAH UH. SORRY FOR LITERALLY ALL I POST BEING WIPS NOWADAYS I AM JUST WORKING ON LIKE 5 DIFFERENT DRAWINGS AT ONCE#STILL TRYING TO GET MY SPRING STUFF DONE. AND ITS ALMOST FALL. SO :]#I JUST CARE SO MUCH ABT THOSE PUPPETS DAWG I HAVE SO MANY IDEAS FOR THEM#I HAVE!!! EVEN MORE DRAWINGS THAT I JUST HAVENT SHARED!!! bc i either made them for something real specific in the discord#or bc theyre phone doodles and i dont think theyre that great. or bc i made them just for a friend and thats like. theirs now kjdhkjdfhs#a lotta times once i finish drawing smth for a friend ill just never post it bft. so its just like. for that one thing and nothing else#ANYWAYS HAPPY 3 AM IM FORCING MYSELF TO GO TO BED#AND I STILL HAVE THE ANIMATIONS#AND THE FANART FOR LIKE 5 FICS I WANNA DO#OHHH GOD CMONNN BRO IM NEVER FINISHING ANYTHING#my postings
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notmoreflippingelves · 11 months ago
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Every year, I tell myself that I should really consider taking off work for Father Brown premiere day, and then it comes around and I forget to do it, and I spend all day thinking about how I would so much rather be sitting cozy under a million blankets and going back to Kembleford than being forced to do boring work things.
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tamaharu · 6 months ago
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well that was a fast fucking interview LMFAO
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widevibratobitch · 1 year ago
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.
#coming to tumblr for the first time in three days just to bitch because i feel like shit <333#sorry if i havent responded to your message i will as soon as i get a grip but rn im just too busy#both with uni and with crying because a friend said a mean thing to me lol#and because im tired of this new friendship already and tired of hearing this girl talking how great she is lol#am i jealous? fuck yeah i am.#and it's not like she's mean like straight up. cause like.#when i say im really considering quitting and dropping out she tries to encourage me ig#but then she follows it up with 'ofc *I* never had a problem with this and that because it always just came naturally to me teehee#but yknow. dont give up uwu'#and she keeps sending me recordings of her singing to tell her how good she is and always tells me how her teacher praises her#and like. its cool. like i get it that its a nice feeling when you do something well and wanna share that joy with a friend#but idk. i just think its kinda. well not mean but a litt#*a little tone deaf? when ive just been telling her that im in a Bad Place rn and my voice isnt working as it should#and my pianist is bullying me and i end up crying on almost every lesson#and she hits me with a 'damn that sucks fuck that pianist dont give up tho <3#now do you wanna listen to me sing bel raggio lusinghier like a pro and my professor telling me i am sublime?'#also when i tell her that im sorry that im not very social and i just cannot stay and chat cause im having a horrible day today#and really dont feel well and she's like 'yeah i havent noticed anything you're always like that... *side eye*' in a way that suggests#im a horrible friend cause im not talking with her enough and yet again im disappointing her (aint that familiar lol)#i just. idk. the last two-three weeks have been absolutely horrible to me. i cant get out of bed i havent done a single colorful make up#in so long ive basically forgotten how to do that. and i loved doing fun make up looks that make people tell me i look like a clown.#but i just dont have the energy to do anything more than put on a random tshirt and spray dry shampoo on my unwashed hair#i dont even wear my rings anymore. ive stopped caring about being the pinkest slayest queerest looking bitch in the room cause i just. cant#and even some casual friend of mine asked me yesterday if im okay cause they can see something is Not Right. but SHE not only doesnt notice#anything. i have a feeling she feels like im disappoing and neglecting her because i cant be bothered to text with her 24/7#like idk. maybe its just my imagination but i barely even feel like an actual person. more like just a homunculus made to trail after her#and listen to her bragging about how pretty/talented/unbothered she is#oh and also for her to keep dissing m/ozart lol like idk why it hurts me so bad but then ig its not that unusual to feel shitty#when someone keeps talking shit about something you really love and are passionate about and making you feel like an idiot#because you like it. because its stupid and boring and you're a simpleton for enjoying it instead of liking sth more 'ambitious'
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harvestmoth · 2 years ago
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pocket monster ideas
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bmpmp3 · 2 years ago
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i consider myself a bit of a connoisseur of besties-turned-lovers stories but one thing that has always bothered me a little is when the besties actually become lovers and then the relationship loses all bestie-itude LIKE correct me if im wrong but i feel like these things aren’t usually mutually exclusive... i see it more often with m/f besties but i see it with same gender, etc besties on occasion too and like. YES its realistic that friendships change their dynamics over time (even without turning into lovers) but i always see this thing where these two besties get together and then are immediately like “but i CANT dick around with my bestie anymore because theyre also my significant other” you could if you werent a coward. can’t u dick around with ur bestie romantically. can’t you dick around with ur partner bestie-ly. what am i not getting here
#and i mean maybe its because i do enjoy a m/f relationship often in a very bisexual and mildly genderly sort of way#that this character relationship development style is so like. alien and bizarre to me. what am i not understanding#had pacific rim on the mind and i was thinking about some m/f besties i like. mako and whats his nuts#(sorry i really like his character but i havent seen that movie in like 7 years orz)#i really adore their relationship as besties and also i do like the fun little flirty scenes they had a couple times in the movie too#thats a m/f bestie couple i quite like in like a romantic and platonic way folded over itself. if that makes sense#i think its very sweet and awesome. mako deserves a handsome bestie to flirt with. as a treat#thank god they never removed any bestieness from their relationship. even in the goofy flirty scenes they had they were still bestieing#thank u mr del toro#wait sorry now im thinking about mixed gender besties. i love mulder and scully of course we all do#and in the three seasons ive seen ive come to the conclusion i like them in the sense that like#theyre platonic theyre romantic theyre both theyre neither theyre something else entirely#but most importantly. theyre scully and mulder LOL#its a category in and of itself. a very interesting form of besties#oh and recently ive been rewatching elementary since i never saw the past the first season#that one as of the season ive seen i adore fully and completely platonically. oh these guys are very platonic besties#only sherlock story on earth where sherlock and watson are purely platonic LOL#god their relationship is great. oh speaking of platonic im still like fascinated with that one webcome i never finished. villainess no more#i think thats what it was called. someday i'll finish it. its fun and the romance is sweet but i still like.#kinda liked their relationship more when they were just besties at first sight. marriage of convenience turned platonic besties#probably not intentional from the author. sorry. im a sucker for romance so thats kinda new for me too#theres so many variety of bestie. so many layers. its a rich artform: the bestie
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