#but do so with the understanding that the fandom may be pacing themselves w/ one a week instead

[notmoreflippingelves]

Every year, I tell myself that I should really consider taking off work for Father Brown premiere day, and then it comes around and I forget to do it, and I spend all day thinking about how I would so much rather be sitting cozy under a million blankets and going back to Kembleford than being forced to do boring work things.

[tg-headcanons]

CONGRATS ON THE MILESTONE BESTIE!! Honestly you are a credit to this fandom. For the alphabet may I please have 💕Urie💕 pretty please and thank you! Could it be female reader please? Or if you prefer GN. TYSM!

In the words of the greatest poet of our time: ✨come on fuck me emo boy✨

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex): he’s not very big into aftercare, and he’d need to be told to do it since he doesn’t get that his partner might be uncomfortable moving on right after it’s over. Even if he bottomed and obviously got a little hurt, he’s going to try to get clean and dressed. Though since the quinx surgery, he gets a little depressed after leaving right after sex. He obviously doesn’t know that ghouls really need cuddles after that to avoid a drop, so he probably won’t figure out that he needs aftercare until his partner makes him

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s): he likes his biceps, he’s worked on them quite a lot and will check them out in the mirror if no one is looking. On his partner, it’s abs. He just likes the way a good set of abs looks, that’s understandable

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically): he’s a bit of a clean freak and doesn’t like dealing with cum. He wears condoms and if his partner is a Penis Owner he won’t do anything until they do as well

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs): When he was a horny 16 year old with even worse judgement then he has now, he looked up porn on the computer provided to him by the academy, panicked when he realized the server would remember this, and scrambled to delete any evidence. Just to be safe, he downloaded some software that said it would clear this search history from any attached engine, and he ended up giving the whole school a virus. To this day he’s never told anyone that he was the reason for that massive crash because he doesn’t want to explain why

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?): You wouldn’t expect it, but he’s a virgin. He never cared to seek a relationship since he had better things to do, and he doesn’t like the idea of a random hook up because the thought of catching an std or just dealing with a body that isn’t perfectly clean grosses him out

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying): if he’s topping, butterfly. If he’s bottoming, cowboy. He always wants to be in control, and it takes a great deal of coaxing for his partner to ever be physically on top of him

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.): he’s very serious. Never joking as he’s too deep in focusing on his sensations and performance

H = Heat (what are heats like for them? How do they handle it?): since he’s a quinx and not a half ghoul, his heats are extremely mild in comparison, so it’s just fever, muscle fatigue, slight brain fog, and of course the horny. He tries to go about his routine like normal but is ordered to rest because Bro You Have A Fever and in addition to the symptoms, he’s pissed at being stuck in the house and is very repressed. He’s angry at his superiors, he’s uneasy from the interrupted routine, he’s worried since he doesn’t know what this is and he’s frustrated because his dick isn’t going down. He ends up taking a lot of cold showers, and takes care of it

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect): he’s not very intimate on the outside. He goes about sex like it’s a competition, trying to show that he’s good at it, that he can make his partner feel good easily, and he can get his pleasure from his work. Though with all the harsh motions, he can find himself with odd emotions cropping up. He always thought of himself as being above getting attached, but when he fucks he does feel affectionate, just struggles to show it

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon): he tends to get hard after workouts. Something about blood flow from what he’s read online, and it doesn’t look like there’s antidote or anything so he just has to deal with it. He does it in the shower after his workouts, leaning against the wall

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks): hair pulling. Not much to elaborate on, whether he’s doing it to his partner or they’re doing it to him, it adds some spice

L = Location (favorite places to do the do): Shower. He doesn’t like feeling dirty, and sex can be sticky and sweaty, so doing it in the water let’s him alleviate the worry of filth and focus on his partner

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going): sparring. Something about fighting someone with his bare hands is exhilarating. It’s primal and raw, and seeing an opponent really using that muscle and speed makes him appreciate their body even more. Makes him want to pin them down and continue fighting for dominance in place of foreplay

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs): Degradation. He can take aggressive teasing, curses and insults, but if they say anything that suggests he’s inadequate, disappointing, or a failure in some way, it gets to be too much for him. Normally he’d hate to hear it but be able to get past it, but he can’t take that while so exposed and vulnerable

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.): he prefers to receive. He gets a little grossed out by having someone’s genitals in his mouth even if they’re using protection unless they’ve just bathed

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.): he’s fast. He seems to think he has something to prove, and prioritizes looking like he knows what he’s doing over… actually knowing what he’s doing. He’ll start off immediately rough, and won’t slow down unless he’s firmly told to. If he’s riding he’ll rush into it and keep going even if he clearly isn’t prepped enough, he’s too eager to feel good that he tries not to show that he’s in pain and his partner would probably have to make him stop before he hurts himself badly. The guy’s a bit overexcited when he gets down to it

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.): they’re not his thing. There isn’t enough time to be sure he and his partner are clean or shower when it’s done, he might not have condoms on him, there’s a lot of planning that goes into sex that he can’t account for in a short time. Unless he and his partner have thoroughly talked out what would need to be in place for him to be comfortable with it, he won’t do them

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.): he’s down to try new kinks so long as he sets firm boundaries for them, but doing anything at work is a firm No

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?): one or two rounds, but he can go hard for a long time. He can keep a brutal pace for way longer than most can

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?): he has none, but wouldn’t shy away from getting some of his partner wanted to incorporate them into their sex lives. He would be nervous if they wanted to use one on him that’s bigger than what he’s used to taking, but wouldn’t let them see his unease and let them go ahead with it. The only thing he won’t let a partner use on him is vibrators, he doesn’t like the way quick vibrations feel on his hands when operating machinery, let alone anywhere near his dick

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease): he doesn’t like teasing. He wants to get right into the act

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.): he’s very quiet, heavy breaths, shuddering exhales, and a low moan when he comes is all you’ll get from him

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character): he had no idea how sensitive the soft underside of a koukaku is until Ginshi grabbed him by it to pull him out of the way of an attack. Before he knew what he was doing he let out a quavering gasp, then pretended that he doesn’t know what Ginshi was talking about when he asked what the hell that was. When he got home that night, he tried touching it again, and since then he often strokes it when jerking off. He got past the weirdness of it after awhile and it became routine

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes): 5.5-6 inches, and very girthy

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?): not that high. He’s content to fuck once or twice a week, but can go for more if his partner wants

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards): he’s not tired when it’s over, it wakes him up more than anything

[soldierfirstclasszeldafair]

AN: Thank you so much for requesting! Sorry I didn’t get this out sooner. I’ve been overwhelmed with school and didn’t want it to show in my writing. Please let me know what you think. I’m a little rusty.

Fandom: Devil May Cry

Dante Sparda NSFW ALPHABET

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Dante is very attentive. He knows he just put you through a lot and depending on who you are to him it can differ. If it’s just a one-time thing he’ll still make sure you’re ok, probably get you some water, but will avoid small talk. He’ll wait for you to fall asleep before sneaking off into the night.

However, if you’re together it’s a whole other story. Dante’s very gentle after sex. He takes his time cleaning you up, not wanting to cause any unwanted discomfort and also to watch you bask in the aftereffects. Dante loves to hold you in his arms and lazily stroke your back, peppering you with kisses while whispering sweet nothings in your ear.  

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

His: Dante doesn’t really have a favorite part of himself.  

Yours: Dante likes to have a handful. Whether it’s your ass, boobs, thighs, it doesn’t matter. He just likes having something nice to hold onto while he thrusts heavily in you.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

Honestly, it’s everywhere. This man packs quite the load and he’s aware of it. Whether it covers your stomach or down your throat, he doesn’t care as long as it’s messy. Though his absolute favorite place to cum is inside you but that only happens once he’s sure he can trust you.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

He secretly has a Daddy kink. He’s not all that into having kids but call him Daddy in the heat of the moment and he may just cum right on the spot. Seriously be careful.  

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

He acts like he has more experience than he really does. Truthfully, he has a hard time trusting someone enough to be that vulnerable with. He may have been under the influence of alcohol when he was with someone else but was never seriously involved with anyone.

Though he may not have much experience, he certainly makes it up with enthusiasm. He’s a very fast learner and has plenty of source material to learn new things. He does have his natural instincts with his demon heritage too.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

He loves having your front laying across his desk, hand full of your hair, hips snapping furiously against your ass. He loves the view of seeing himself disappear inside you. Also, it gives him great access to your neck where he loves to sink his teeth.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

You get the best of both worlds with this man. He’s loves that sex doesn’t have to this serious thing and that he can have fun and laugh. He may bring out the cowboy attire for some roleplay, but the both of you can’t help but laugh at his fake southern accent. He knows it can’t be all laughs and giggles though and when he needs to be serious, he can be.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

His hair is the same color. He’s got a happy trail that leads to a decent amount of hair. If it bothers you he will trim it, but he prefers to have some hair though.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

He may be a devil in the sheets, but he’s the one doing the worshiping. When he’s committed you’ll know it. Dante can be very affectionate and loving. The first “I love you” may bring him to shed a tear. He’s ruined every other man for you. Dante makes sure you know you’re loved.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

He’s no stranger to it. When he’s not particularly interested in someone it’s not all that often. He does have to deal with his heat somehow. It isn’t until someone has piqued his interest it becomes more frequent.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

He’s willing to try most things. Always makes sure theirs mutual consent before doing anything.

This demon loves orgasm control. It comes with the dominate nature of his being. He likes to hear you beg for him but flip the script and make him do the begging and he becomes putty in your hands.

He likes breath play but will never fully close off your airway.

Roleplaying is one on his list. He’s a sucker for need a pretty nurse to take care of his needs.

Devil Trigger Sex. It’s going to take a lot of convincing to persuade him into doing it. The last thing he wants to do is hurt you.  

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

It’s no surprise that Dante likes taking risks, so as long as you’re ok with it anywhere can be up for grabs. Whether it’s in a dark alley for a quickie, in the back of Morrison’s borrowed car with fogged up windows, or in the bedroom for something more sensual.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Biting him on his neck is a surefire way of getting him to take you where you stand. You just marked him as yours, so he needs to do the same.

Lingerie, he tends to rip it off so be sure to warn him if you really like it.

A simple way that can be hidden from prying eyes is to take his hand and putting it between your legs. Or just stroke him. (He may make a game out of it so be prepared.)

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Inviting somebody else in is a huge no. Dante doesn’t share. It’s a fast way to ruin all the trust you’ve spent so long building. If you even bring it up, he’s already shutting you out of his life.  

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Dante loves to receive especially when you look him in the eyes while you do it. He’ll throw his head back and lets you work him over. If you denied his release he’s going to growl in frustration (in a good way) and if you continue to edge him, you’ll get him to beg for release.

Remember how I said Dante will worship you? You may have to tell him to stop because he tends to get carried away. He wants to hear you. He lives for it. He tends to get rather vulgar while he’s going down on you too.

If you’ve mange to get him to trigger good luck getting him to stop. His heated breath is going to have you so wet just anticipating his tongue. God his tongue. It’s barbed and should be illegal to possess something so deadly. It usually ends when you black out from overstimulation.  

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Dante tends to take his time with foreplay, making sure you’re prepared for what’s to come, but the pace quickens very fast from that point. There’s passion in his roughness. He likes to make a mess of you, having you say his name over and over. He leaves you sore in the best way.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

100% down. He likes to be fully in control for quickies. He pins you to the wall or closest piece of furniture, sliding your panties to the side and fucks you nice and fast. He loves it when he has to clamp his hand over your mouth to keep you from being a moaning mess. It’s an ego boost for him knowing just how loud he makes you.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

YES, in short. If he trusts you and you him, he’s willing to try. There’s been many, many times where you’ve both have nearly been caught. You’d swear it’s his favorite pastime. And no, it did not stop him when you did get caught. He simply used his body to keep you from being seen, laughed, and kept going like nothing happened.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

His heritage is both a blessing and a curse. He has more stamina than the average man. He’s a bit of a sex fiend. He likes to make a day of it if he’s honest, but it’s whatever you’re comfortable with. If you’re down for one round he’s completely fine with that. He’s going to make sure your both satisfied. Willing to help him deal with his heat? Great! Just know you he’s not letting you go far.  

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

It started out for you only then he’d became more experimental. He likes being handcuffed and blindfolded. You took the vibrator that was originally intended for you and strapped it to his cock. You’d never seen your devil squirm so much.

Dante doesn’t use them unless you’re with him. He’d rather experience the fun with you. However, he’s more possessive of you than he originally thought. Dante Sparda gets jealous of the dildo you have. He’s thought about throwing the damn thing out the window. He wants to be the only thing inside you, not some fake cock that can’t even compete with his size. He understands that you have needs when he’s not around, so he has to forcefully block it out of his mind.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Dante is the Devil when it comes to teasing. He’s got a vulgar mouth, a wicked tongue, and he’s pretty great with his hands. The smug bastard.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Dante isn’t loud per say. He more breathy than anything. That doesn’t mean you can’t get something else from him. He tends to moan when things are going slower, a more romantic setting if you will. Though if you do want to hear him, the easiest way is to start teasing him, making him grunt or growl in response.

His demonic form is where things get interesting. He’ll purr if he’s breeding you. It’s an eerily calming sound from such a creature. Though if you’re brave enough and dare to tease him in that form, he’ll growl. It’s a low vibration that you feel throughout your body and it sends chills over your skin. It quickly becomes a favorite of yours.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

Dante didn’t realize how good it felt to have someone else run their fingers through his hair. The light pulling against his strands does something for the man. He prefers you to play in his hair after sex. It’ll help him fall asleep faster plus he let’s out the cutest noise. It’s like a light moan but not quite. He’ll soon start to purr the closer he is to falling asleep. If you play in his hair in the morning it’ll most likely lead to morning sex.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

He’s above average in length for sure with a nice thickness. He’s got a prominent vein on the underside and he curves a bit to the left.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Before your relationship he could manage going 2 weeks without helping himself out. He didn’t really have the time to whip it out when he was busy trying to keep the lights on. Now though? He can barely mange the length of your cycle.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

He’s got this internal rule that he doesn’t want to go to sleep until you do or if he’s sure you’re satisfied. You do tend to fall asleep before him, mostly with your head on him.  Every once in a while, he’ll fall asleep first mostly when you play with his hair, with his faced tucked into your neck or chest with an arm wrapped around you. Dante to sleep deeply after sex so it’s ideal to get in a comfortable position before he falls asleep.

[odissey061]

Kinktober, day 22

Fandom: Obey me

Lucifer x reader x Simeon + threesome

Simeon pulled the hair on her head, as if he wanted to detach his body from her lips, but he didn’t know what to do. The sheets under him were a sticky mess of his previous orgasms and the air smelled of sex.

Simeon breathed:“Please, stop… I’m so sensitive that it hurts”. Yet his body arched when her tongue licked the head of his cock. Simeon was so close, he could feel another orgasm coming, but she stopped sucking him. Her hands went on his buttocks, grazing the throne inside him. The toy stretched the angel so well and it brought a jolt of pleasure when she started to pull and push it with slow and languid movements. Simeon arched his back and his head leaned on the pillow, she was driving him crazy from the pleasure.

Then she stopped. She planted a soft kiss on his lips and the angel asked confused:“Why... Did you stop?” and she smirked:“You told me that the stimulation was too much for you, so I stopped". Simeon groaned; when he asked her to stop, he didn’t really mean it, otherwise he would have used the safeword and she knew it. She stopped just because she was a teaser and she enjoyed seeing him wrapped around her finger.

“I have to go to my class now, come when you are ready” she smiled innocently and she left the room. Simeon laid on the bed sheets for another ten minutes, then he decided to take a shower to clean himself.

As soon as the lessons finished, they found themselves in Lucifer’s room. The demon stood in front of the bed, the human and the angel sat on the bed. The girl laid on her stomach and her head was on Simeon’s leg. "You need to be punished for what you have done this morning" Lucifer affirmed with a whip in his hands and she tried to slow down the course of the events: "W-Wait, let's talk about this".

Simeon embraced her, whispering in a rich tone of voice:“Why are you so reluctant about this, little lamb? You enjoyed so much teasing me this morning and you know how much Lucy hates being excluded for our activities. You have been a bad girl and you need to receive a punishment”. "Simeon, if you don't want to be punished too, I suggest you to don't call me by that name" the demon advised him, lashing the air with a whip and the angel smiled with a hint of a tease:“That's a shame, you liked it so much back in the Celestial realm”.

As they talked, Simeon's hands roamed across her back, knowing exactly what to do to elicit sweet moans of pleasure. "Enough with the chit chat. I wonder how many times she should be whipped" Lucifer thought as he faked indecision. In his mind, he knew the exact number. "Lucifer, may I suggest seven whips? It's the first time for her" the angel proposed and the demon accepted:“You are too lenient and merciful, Simeon, but I'll do as you wish”.

The truth was that the angel had both of them wrapped around his fingers, no matter how prideful they were. Lucifer was intimidating and his powerful aura naturally led people into submission with fear, but Simeon was able to make people submit only with his voice. The sugar-coated tone was so pleasant that anyone would do anything to keep listening to it. Nobody could resist and he was too perceptive to not understand it.

"Are you ready little lamb? I want you to ask forgiveness for what you did this morning" he commanded with a sweet voice. The first hit suddenly arrived on her back and she gasped from the pain and the skin burned and she was sure that it left a red mark. "I-I'm sorry... forgive me" she said and Simeon caressed her hair. As Lucifer whipped her again, this time on the buttocks, his hands went to her lips, caressing them with a thumb.

When the whips were finished, her back and ass burned, but the pain wasn’t unbearable, after all Lucifer went easy on her. The demon caressed her slit, humming satisfied when he noticed his fingers were wet. “Do you want to say something, darling?” Simeon purred in her ear and she begged:”Please, do me. I need it”.

The angel changed her position, plasming her body like wax. Now her back touched his chest and Simeon’s hand, under her knees, spread her legs apart so that Lucifer could see the wet entrance. Lucifer brushed the tip of the whip on her entrance, gathering her juices on the stick, and brought it in front of Simeon. The angel licked them as if they were the most delicious food.

The angel changed her position, plasming her body like wax. Now her back touched his chest and Simeon’s hand, under her knees, spread her legs apart so that Lucifer could see the wet entrance. Lucifer brushed the tip of the whip on her entrance, gathering her juices on the stick, and brought it in front of Simeon. The angel licked them as if they were the most delicious food.

Lucifer placed himself between her legs and he started to savour her sweet essence. The angel kept her still in his arms, blocking her movement. “Be still, little lamb” he whispered close to her skin, taking advantage of her position to mark her pale skin. She jerked her hips when the demon lapped at her nubs.

Her legs were put on Lucifer’s shoulder and the angel placed a vibrator on her womanhood. She protested, knowing too well what was going to come. Every time Simeon took her pleasure in his hands, he stimulated her until her body was limp and she was unable to lift a finger. She didn’t know if he hid a sadistic side under his angelic nature or if he lived to please her.

“Don’t overdo, Simeon” Lucifer warned him before diving back between her tight. The angel hummed in agreement, but he still set the toy on the highest vibration. In ecstasy, he threw her head back as loud moans and sighs left her lips.

First, Lucifer lapped slowly, enjoying her gasps, but when Simeon inserted the toy, he adopted a quicker pace and the licking became messier, focused on making her climax her soon as possible. So it happened: with a scream, the girl came, her body trembling and the sex toy stll going. Simeon bent her over and now Lucifer held her in his arms. The demon captured her lips in a sinful kiss that took her breath out of her lungs. “It’s not the time to sleep, dear. We haven’t finished yet” he murmured, kissing her again.

And in the next second, her eyes widened as the angel placed a lubed finger in her ass. She gasped at the sudden feeling, holding tight at Lucifer’s shoulder. The demon lifted her hips and, with his dick, he started to pound in her. “Si-Simeon… ah… Lucifer” she moaned feverishly as Lucifer’s thrust hit the toy inside her, adding more pleasure to her nerves. The vibrator brushed against her walls, driving her crazy. She felt another orgasm coming closer and she screamed when Simeon’s cock penetrated her ass. The angel turned her face with a hand and kissed her passionately as he started to move.

“Now now, Simeon. The greed doesn’t suit an angel after all” Lucifer smirked and claimed her mouth in a bruising kiss. The angel, unsatisfied, nibbled her neck with smooches and bites, marking the skin. “You take us so well, little lamb” he purred in her ear. He looked at Lucifer with a gaze of agreement and the two of them started to thrust at the same pace. The human gasped, feeling so well taken by the most beautiful creatures she had ever seen. She felt so lucky to be with them, to be the woman who they wanted to have.

The words left her mouth before she could realize:”I love you”. For a second, their pace slowed down a bit and she feared she had ruined everything with her confession, but Lucifer smirked:”Of course you love us. We knew it” and Simeon did the same:”Do you think I’d have done this if I didn’t love you as well, darling. Honestly, you are so naive”. And the two males started to laugh. “Hey, don’t make fun of me! When you both fell silent I thought I ruined everything” she protested. A thrust particularly rough by Lucifer reminded her what they were doing:“We’ll talk about our feelings later”.

Simeon touched something inside of her womanhood and he took off the vibrator:”I forgot you had this. I don’t think this is no longer necessary, isn’t it?” and Lucifer bit fiercely her neck to mark the point. “N-No, it’s useless now” she stuttered. It was unfair, why was she the one to have squeezed her sanity out of her mind while the two male looked as relaxed as usual? She blamed the supernatural beings’ stamina.

Lucifer let out a groan of pleasure and pain as she pulled his dark hair and Simeon’s hands circled her chest, grazing her breasts. She was surprised when she felt a sudden cold on her breast, but all made sense when she looked down and she saw a pair of nipple clamps around the nubs. It looked like her angel was kinkier than she expected.

Lucifer pulled the chain and her body jerked over in a second. “That’s a good idea, Simeon” he complimented as he gave another yank. That was a horrible idea. With a person as sadistic as Lucifer, she could already feel her chest so much pained that she couldn’t even touch them. But she didn’t expect that her masochistic side would have enjoyed that, so she was surprised when she felt the familiar feeling of coming. Simeon thrust another time, kissing her and breathing her name in a husky voice. She came moaning both their names. The angel followed her after a few seconds and the demon pounded other two times before his release.

The girl collapsed on the angel chest, exhausted. Simeon took her in his arms, transporting her in the bathroom. Hot water filled the tub and, when the angel thought the temperature was fine, she placed her inside. With a gentle smile, he helped her to wash herself. After some minutes, he talked:”What we said earlier was true: both Lucifer and I love you. And I’m glad that you require our feelings as well, Lucifer is too, even if he may have some difficulties to say it”.

Right in that moment, the demon entered in the room too:”I have already changed the bed sheets, so you can lay down” and the other two happily nodded. Lucifer accompanied the human on the bed, as Simeon cleaned himself, and laid down with her. “Simeon is wrong” he talked, “I have no problem admitting my feelings for you”. He held her hands and they both fell asleep.

When Simeon left the bathroom, smiled at the sight before his eyes. He kissed both of his lovers on the cheek and he entered in the bed too.

[bisexualsforprompto]

Miraculous: Reborn Chapter Five

Omg it’s been so fricking long I’m sorry

AO3

First Previous Next

~~~~~~~~~

What their history teacher neglected to tell them was that the assignment assigned the day prior was going to be unbelievably difficult. They only had one day to work on it, and they had barely made any headway in study hall.

Damian huffed to himself as he watched Mari stare intently at a book.

I could’ve done this much quicker without her. He brooded to himself, although deep down he knew that was probably a lie. Mari had worked much faster than he expected.

“Aha!” She smiled, pointing victoriously to a passage in her book. Her eyes lit up, and if possible her smile made her eyes look more blue. Damian finally noticed her freckles too.

He felt a smirk tug at his lips by how excited she got a small triumph. Not unlike Jon, he noted. Ugh another Jon.

But maybe it wasn’t such a bad thing, he decided when he saw her tongue stick out slightly from her focus as she wrote into her notebook.

“Okay!” She exclaimed, snapping her notebook shut, “Done with the research! Now off to the project part.” She let out a small groan, “Any ideas?”

Damian held his sketchbook closely to his chest, not ready to let her see it. “Perhaps we can devise a poem and be done with it all.”

Mari pouted, then she smiled smugly, “Wanna take the easy way out, huh Damian?” She jibed.

“W-what?! No!” Damian spluttered, how insulting how dare she-

Oh...Damian realized as she saw her hold back a chuckle. She was joking.

Well two could play at that game.

“Very well, what do you suppose we do oh great Dupain?”

“Well...if you’re not opposed...maybe we could meet up later to work? We don’t have a lot of time now, but I can probably explain my idea.”

Damian hesitated, he didn’t want to bring this girl back to the manor. Solely because he wasn’t sure he could trust her, certainly not because he didn’t want her to judge him for being a Wayne.

“We can meet up at a nearby coffee shop once school is over. I’ll inform father. What’s your idea?” Damian asked as he pulled out his phone.

“Well...I’m an amateur designer.” Mari said, looking slightly flustered, “And I thought since the project is an extension of what we’ve learned maybe I could design some period appropriate clothes? Just a sketch of course, I doubt I’d have time to actually make something seeing as its due tomorrow but-“

“May I see what you have?” Damian interrupted.

Mari nodded slightly before pulling out a black book, not unlike his own sketchbook. She handed it to him and immediately looked away, embarrassed by her own work.

Damian flipped through the pages, “These are more than adequate Dupain.”

Mari blushed at the praise. Damian considered showing her his own drawings, but...considering he would seldom show his family or even Jon his sketches he was not inclined to show his to a girl he’d known for not even a full day. He handed the book back to her just as the bell rang.

“I’ll meet you outside of the main entrance when school ends. Goodbye Dupain.” Damian said hiking up his book bag and heading off to his next class.

Of course she was in his next class.

And the one after that too. She was even in his last period, which meant Mari Dupain was in All. Of. His. Classes.

He understood, she was gifted academically and so was he, so they would share classes. Plus, the private school was relatively small in the number of students who attended, but still there was no other person Damian shared all his classes with.

Suffice to say, if he hadn’t tolerated Mari before he’d need to now considering the new circumstances. Just as the final bell rang, instead of meeting Marinette outside he walked to her desk and silently waited for her to gather her things.

“I’m ready!” She beamed, zipping up her backpack.

Damian eyed her, small and frail at first analysis. Her backpack had accumulated lots of books because she had transferred so late in the year.

“Would you like me to carry something?”

“No! I’ll manage! Thanks for asking though-“

“Ice Prince Charming.” A girl snickered on her way out to her friend. Damian glared at them both. Then without another word he walked with Mari out of the building.

“Why do they call you that?” Mari asked as she walked with Damian through the halls to the exit.

“Not that it’s any of your business,” Damian stated harshly before seeing her deflated expression and softening, “But it’s because I’m a black sheep here I suppose. I don’t play by their rules— that is, date, socialize, be on the football team, etcetera.”

“Huh, you seem normal to me.” Mari said, of course, unbeknownst to Damian she was leaving out the part where she hadn’t been with another human that wasn’t her parents, a villain, or Chat Noir for six years.

Damian side-eyed her, not sure how to respond. He realized quickly that she expected no response. It seemed her conversations were organic and raw, rather than ones in which the other person already knew what the next was going to say and planned for it. She wasn’t bothered by the silence that they walked in, which was odd, considering that she was a teenager most of which talked just to hear themselves talk.

Reaching the school’s exit, Damian pushed open the door for her.

“Thanks!” She chirped.

“Damian!” Jon called from across the courtyard, slowly registering Mari’s presence, “Oh, hi Mari!”

“Hi Jon!” Mari waved while Jon dashed over.

“So...what are you two doing now?” Jon asked, a glint in his eye as he smirked at Damian.

“If you must know, we’re heading to the local coffee shop to finish a project.”

“Ooooh!” Jon exclaimed. Damian knew what he was going to ask next before the boy even asked it.

“And no, you cannot come with us.”

“Bummer. Oh well, I have to go back to my parents’ house anyway, but I’ll still see you later for...ya know?”

Damian sighed, great cover Kent, “Yes.” He gritted his teeth and led Mari away.

“Here.” He said, pulling out a spare helmet from his bag. “I’m assuming you’re not afraid of riding a motorcycle.”

Mari brightened, “Yeah! My Nonna and I rode all the time before I di- before she died.” Marinette sighed internally for her quick recovery, even if she kind of had to lie about her grandmother being dead.

“My condolences.” Damian said as he cleared his throat. Marinette could tell it was sincere which made her feel a lot worse…

Damian got onto the motorcycle and made sure to get close enough to the handlebars so that Mari would have enough space. He was really hoping she wasn’t stupid enough to hang her arms around his shoulders.

As she got on, he realized she was very proficient at being a passenger. She got on quickly and placed her hands on the tank to stabilize herself. Mari’s helmet was already on, so Damian started off.

He started driving slightly slower than normal, just because he wasn’t sure how comfortable she was riding a quick pace. That could mess both of them up if she wasn’t ready.

It wasn’t a big deal anyway, as it turned out, the coffee shop was less than a mile away from campus and they arrived quickly.

Damian hopped off the motorcycle and extended his hand. Mari took it daintily as he pulled her off the vehicle. She dismounted easily as well. She handed his helmet back to him and they walked inside.

“Alfred, I found something interesting.” Bruce said as he pulled up a document on his computer.

Alfred looked over the document once and sighed, nothing really new, “You can deal with that later Master Bruce. There’s another matter that requires your attention.”

“Oh?” Bruce asked, raising and eyebrow, but not taking his eyes off the screen.

“Remember when Master Damian said earlier that he was going to work on a project? Well, it seems it was a partner project and pictures of him and his school partner are all over social media.” Alfred typed into the Batcave’s computer and pulled up Twitter, the most trending post was a picture of Damian helping a girl his age off his motorcycle in front of the coffee shop and the caption read, “Does the youngest Wayne have a date?!?!?!”

Bruce sighed, “Just tabloid gossip, nothing new.” He eyed the picture again, “Though maybe I should look into this girl…”

He scanned the picture in quickly and had the results he was looking for within minutes, “Mari Dupain. Moved from Paris, France to Gotham not too long ago.”

Alfred rubbed his temples, “Dupain...as in-“

“Yes.”

“How will you tell the young master?”

“He’ll...understand.” Bruce sighed, “Maybe not right away, but he will eventually.”

Alfred looked at him disapprovingly.

“Okay, you’re right.” Bruce muttered, “I'll talk to him about it when he gets home...I hope he’s not too attached to that girl...he’s not going to be happy.”

~~~~~~~

Tags:

@persephonebutkore

@northernbluetongue

@vixen-uchiha

@caffeinetheory

@18-fandoms-unite-08

@nillajinx

@krispydefendorpolice

@magic-miraculous

@violatiger8

@bluerosette23

@theyellowfeverexperience

@virgil-is-a-cutie

@ladysblackcat

@naoryllis

@weird-pale-blonde-person

@chrismarium

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@bamagirl

@corabeth11

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@crazylittlemunchkin

@mlbchaosqueen

[darling-i-read-it]

A-Z NSFW With Danny Torrance

Danny Torrance x reader 

Author’s Note: I’ve never done one of these before so I’m hoping this is what you were looking for!

Requested; by anon,  Hi there!! I love your writing and was wondering if you would do the fluff alphabet and the nsfw alphabet for Dan Torrance! I know they’re a lot, so no worries❤️ thanks so much for being here

Genre: smut

(not my gif)

A: Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

Danny is the sweetest person ever after sex. He likes to hold you after and spoon, play with your hair and after the two of you have cleaned up there's a shit ton of cuddles and pillow talk. If you aren’t both passed out just after which is also possible. 

B: Body Part (Their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

He likes your hands. He likes when your hands are on him and holds your hands when he can. Hands! 

C: Cum (Anything to do with cum)  

At first he liked to cum on your stomach but as your relationship got more intimate he often liked to cum in you but really it depends on yours and his moods. 

D: Dirty Secret

He likes it when you take control and he never tells you but when you do it it really gets him going. Just remembering you did that after so much drunk sex is everything for him.

E: Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?) 

As I mentioned before, he had a lot of messy drunk sex and you’re his first real partner. He isn’t really experienced but he is a quick learner. 

F: Favorite Position

He’s rather vanilla but anything where he gets to hold you in his arms, facing him or away from him he likes it. 

G: Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc.)

He likes it easy going. He can laugh and he can be serious depending on what you want or again the mood. 

H: Hair (How well-groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

Very clean, very groomed, mostly shaved. 

I: Intimate (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

Danny is so intimate, so so intimate. He likes to take whatever chance he can to tell you he loves you through the love making so he’s always telling you or setting it up so that you can have a nice romantic night together. 

J: Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

He used to masturbate a shit ton when he was a drunk just because he didn’t know better but nowadays he’ll usually just come to you.  

K: Kink (One or more of their kinks)  

He likes to praise you! PRAISE! 

L: Location (Favorite places to do the do)

His bedroom! He likes his little room and it's so quaint and you spend a lot of time there anywhere so he just likes to hang out in his bed anyway may not do the do there. 

M: Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

He LOVES when you bite your lip, when you look concentrated, when you rub against him (even unintentionally) and when your hands rub his chest. Amongst other things. 

N: No (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

He doesn’t like really kinky sex, nothing that would bond him from not being able to touch you or you touching him. He likes touching you too much and again, your hands. 

O: Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)  

Giving! Giving! He is very good at giving (not that he doesn’t enjoy receiving as well) 

P: Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

He does like to be quite rough and fast a lot, very often but there are days where he can just be slow and careful but usually it’s him above you, working it out. 

Q: Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)  

Not a big fan of quickies but he has done it before. He prefers to take his time with you and will only ever do it if you’re really really teasing. 

R: Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)  

He’ll do what you want at least once but if he doesn’t like it he will tell you for sure and you’re very understanding about it. 

S: Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last, etc.)

He has an okay stamina, could go for two or three rounds but he doesn’t usually last very long in the moment. 

T: Toys (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

He isn’t a HUGE fan but if he uses them it’s usually on you to tease you. 

U: Unfair (How much they like to tease)

This is why he doesn’t like quickies. He is a fan of teasing you and won’t do it every time but he does it quite often. 

V: Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

Wow, the poor landlady. He grunts, he is very vocal especially just before climaxing. 

W: Wild Card (Random headcanon)

He doesn’t like music when he’s doing it. Why? I don’t know but I don’t think he would like it. 

X: X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants)  

He’s average size, not too big , not too small and not too long or too short. Little longer than usual. Pretty good. 

Y: Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

Especially when he’s had a rough day its usually pretty high but years of drunk sex didn’t make him cling to you to terribly all the time. 

Z: ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Oh so fast. If you’re not talking he will fall asleep on your chest, spooning you, he is always exhausted. 

Ewan: @daphne-fandom-writing​, @satanslov3r @records-and-stardust​ @broodybats​ @starwarsprequelfangirl​ @ah-callie​ @rai-strangebr​ @whyisgmora​ @fandxmnerd​

[mythiica]

A-Z NSFW headcanons for Kiro from Love and Producer / Mr. Love Queen’s Choice please :))

Title: A-Z NSFW AlphabetFandom: Mr. Love Queen’s ChoiceCharacter: KiroGenre: HONHONHONWarnings: MUCHO HONHONHONKinks: all of themIntended Gender Audience: Female Audience Word Count: 1379 wordsPOV: second personOther comments: WOW okay this was fun af to write – some things are pretty short, but others might have more detail! 

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

Wants cuddles and will give you massages, even if you don’t ask for it

Depending on how tired you are, he will draw a romantic bath for the two of your to share 

The bath would be complete with candles and epsom salts 

Kiro praises you continuously and gives you many kisses as well

Ready to offer you something from his collection of snacks (somehow hidden under the bed?)

B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s

He takes pride in his hair, how fluffy it is, and deep down he likes to see the blond bouncing as he fucks you because it is a measure of how hard he’s going 

Kiro knows that he looks cute, but he’s got a devilish side as well when he can show off

Safe to say that Kiro really can’t pick a favorite body part of yours because he loves all of you

Perhaps he is impartial to your soft lips, especially when they are slightly swollen from sucking on… well you know what

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically…)

Gets all giddy when he cums on your chest, it probably makes him hard again to see the white dribbling down your chest

He’s got natural charm, but likes it when you ask him to cum on you

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Has fantasized about taking you on set props 

Like a throne he had for a music video: plus and red, he wanted to lay you over his lap and finger you as you grinded against the velvet 

Considered doing it, but decided it probably wasn’t sanitary (and would leave stains) 

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

He might seem like he doesn’t have experience, but he knows his way around certain toys 😏 

Kiro has had sex before, a few attempts here and there, but he is often busy with work anyways 

F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual)

You sitting on the edge of the bed, legs spread, him thrusting into you as you lean back

He likes it when you wrap your legs around him and hold him close 

Anything that allows him to see your face is amazing, but will occasionally opt for doggy style

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

Goofy boy or serious daddy, sometimes there is no inbetween 

He will crack a joke if there is a not-so-sexy sound

Expect tickle fights to turn into sex, and sometimes visa verse

When he does get serious, he’s in The Zone™

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

Ultra groomed and matching! 

Has made jokes about dying it different colors though (please no, Kiro)

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…) 

Kiro considers sex to be really intimate with you 

He pushes everything else out of his mind, whether it is something about work or the future, he wants to be in the moment and share it with you

The romantic aspect can be super heightened, but he sees “casual” sex (no fanciness added) to be just as special as going full out with special things 

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

Has become the master of getting off quickly because his day is scheduled to the minute 

Quite enjoys getting off in the shower: any mess is cleaned up quickly, temperature play is fun to do, and feels twice as awake after doing it

Won’t really take the risk of doing anything where he films unless he can’t resist 

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

Cosplay: especially if it’s one of his favorite characters or you’re wearing something of his, very much a turn on and he likes it

Kiro indulges in buying cheap cosplay outfits and dramatically rips them apart to expose your body

L = Location (Favourite places to do the do)

Bed - feels the most ‘at home’ and comfortable because he can focus on you and you alone; also considers how loud its creaking as a measure of his strength 

Occasionally his dressing room (if you convince him) 

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

Motivated by you

Not much else to say that Kiro loves you and fantasizes about you often, so any opportunity to do the do with you is something that will motivate him to finish his other work faster

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Would never want to do something you are not comfortable with

The first few times the two of you are intimate, Kiro is constantly making sure that you feel alright and are not in pain

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

Is down to give or receive, but has a special place in his kinky heart for giving 

Kiro may be known for singing, but hearing your voice when you cry in pleasure because of what he’s doing– it makes him so happy (and hard) 

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

Depending on what type of sex it is, Kiro can go fast and hard or slow and sensual

If you’re particularly into one or the other, just ask! Kiro is understanding and will give you what you want

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

Impartial per say

If the mood is set, but there is not a lot of time, Kiro would not be opposed to having a quickie

Usually happens in his dressing room or a nearby closet

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

Probably too shy to do something ultra risky publicly

If it’s experimenting with toys or different positions, Kiro will be very excited to try things!

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

Depending on what he did that day, Kiro can give up to 2/3 rounds of oral, or a full out session where he uses all of his energy

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

Kiro has a few toys that he knows how to use on himself, but he wants to learn how to use them on you

Wouldn’t mind you using it on him, but might ask for it in moderation

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

When Kiro gets into his Serious mode, he can be very unfair and tease you a lot

Teasing can be in the form of edging or simple dirty talk teasing

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

Vocal baby

Whether he is subbing or domming, topping or bottoming, Kiro tends to make a lot of noise

Depending on what is happening, Kiro can moan, groan, mewl, pant – it’s a colorful array of sounds, all showing the pleasure he is experiencing 

He likes showing off vocally because it’s a measure of the pleasure he’s feeling

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

Kind of enjoys it when you roll condoms onto him (more so than him putting them on himself)

Makes him get all giddy like oh yes we are doing this

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)

Picture-esque cock, pretty pale but with a blushing tip 

Not super veiny, but slightly above average length + slim

Has a pretty pronounced (and sensitive) ridge

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

Medium to high sex drive but you can boost it by doing something that turns him on

Would consider it a treat to spend a fully day just having sex on and off 

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards) 

Probably takes a while to fall asleep usually, but of course it depends what happens during a session

If he worked all day and then made love to you, expect him to pass out quickly (without meaning to) but he will 100% nuzzle against your touch even in his sleep

[paulisweeabootrash]

2020 mini-review pack

Di Gi Charat (1999)

Episodes watched: 7

Platform: VRV (Hidive)

Di Gi Charat (pronounced like “carrot”) is a series of fast-paced 4-ish-minute shorts nominally about Dejiko and Rabi-en-Rose, rivals trying to be Earth’s greatest idol.  Who are, respectively, a catgirl and a bunnygirl.  Oh, and also they’re aliens?  That’s... uh... certainly a premise, I guess.  The actual show consists of self-contained gag-filled episodes with no ongoing story, in almost a sitcom kind of way, throwing the characters into situations without context, but with a stable “baseline” situation (unlike, say, Pop Team Epic, where the characters serve more as stock personalities playing different roles in different sketches).  Dejiko is a snarky schemer.  Rabi-en-Rose is a snarky schemer whose main activity seems to be bothering Dejiko at work.  Puchiko is a small and quiet child and behaves accordingly.  And Gema is... something?  I have no clue, honestly, and neither does the fan wiki.  Other recurring characters fill stock roles such as “manager” and “otaku”.  A lot of the humor centers around poking fun at fandom.  It’s a show by, for, and about otaku from an era before our current internet culture, and since I’m a millennial and not from Japan, that makes it unusually hard to evaluate.

W/A/S: 8/2?/5?

Weeb: Chibis.  Catgirls.  Idols.  Kappas.  Kawaii verbal tics.  Akihabara.  Low-detail background characters who look like blobs or thumbs with faces.  Kanji left on-screen but untranslated.  Particular sorts of highly-exaggerated facial expressions we may have become familiar with through emoji, but which still haven’t made their way into American media generally.  This is ludicrously Japanese.

Ass: This really isn't that kind of show.  Although it is certainly designed for adults, as evidenced by the presence of phrases like “naughty doujinshi”.

Shit: The art is fun.  It has style shifts from comic strip to watercolor painting to mainstream 90s anime, and looks better than some of its contemporaries that were, uh, “real” shows.  The opening takes up about a quarter of the total runtime and gets annoying quickly (but that's because it’s clearly designed for being part of a broadcast block, not binge-watching).  Still, unless I’m missing hidden cleverness on account of not having the background knowledge, there’s not much to it.  It’s just okay.

-----

First Astronomical Velocity (band, active 2011-present)

Platform: Spotify, surprisingly

Okay, this one is a bit different, and I’m jettisoning the whole format for it.  Remember how I said the music-centered episodes of SoniAni were actually pretty good, even though the modeling-centered episodes were so offputting I never finished the show?  Well it turns out that First Astronomical Velocity, Sonico’s band, has released several IRL albums.  Physical copies may be a little hard to come by, but official uploads of a lot of their music can be found on Youtube and Spotify.  Do your musical interests include at least two of: string arrangements that would be at home in a particularly sappy movie soundtrack, 90s-00s alternative rock, synthesizer beep-boops, and that constricted cutesy Japanese women’s vocal style (you know the one I mean)?  Then this is for you.  They’re a pretty good... uh... alt-pop-rock band, I guess is what I’d call them.

-----

Interspecies Reviewers (2020)

Episodes watched: the entire 12-episode season

Platform: I plead the 5th.  But it’s getting a video release soon, so it will finally be legitimately available in English!

I started this year with a plot-light fanservicey animal-people show, and now I’m ending the year with... a plot-light fanservicey animal-people show.  But unlike Nekopara, this show had me cracking up, eagerly clicking “next episode”, and not complaining about the premise.  I’m sure a lot of people do have a problem with this show’s premise -- which centers almost entirely on various forms of sex work -- and I understand and respect that they will want to skip this show.

But for the rest of you: Interspecies Reviewers is a wildly-NSFW comedy about a group of fantasy world adventurers who gain fame and fortune reviewing brothels of different species.  I expected excessive nudity and fantasy tropes, but I didn’t expect to also get serious thoughts.  Like showing, in the golem and Magic Metropolis episodes, some of the unsettling problems that are looming IRL as deepfakes and sex robots are in development -- note especially the contrast between consensually and non-consensually basing automata on real people in those episodes.  Or the discussion in the last episode of how much riskier sex would be in a world without magic (i.e., ours).  This is a much smarter and more interesting show than you’d expect, considering that it has so much sexual content that it got dropped by two of the networks airing it and even its US distributor.

W/A/S: 5/10/4

Weeb: Although heavily influenced by the Western fantasy media canon of European mythology and Tolkien and tabletop RPGs, familiarity with the tropes of fantasy anime will help you “get” this too, as will familiarity with the -sigh- character dynamics and censorship practices of hentai.  Especially because it’s a comedy, there are probably also instances where I have completely missed topical references or wordplay that a Japanese person would get, but I can’t think of any specific instances right now of “there was clearly supposed to be a joke but I missed it”.

Ass: Look, this could not possibly have more sexual content without unambiguously becoming porn.  Genitals are (almost) always carefully hidden by viewing angle or conveniently-placed glowing (something lampshaded in one episode as an actual feature of one of the species they review), but otherwise, expect lots of nudity and almost nonstop crude humor.  Do not watch this with children.  Do not watch this with your parents.  Do not watch this with friends you don’t know well enough to know how they’ll react to something like this.

Shit: This show is better-made than it deserves to be.  It’s pretty dumb at points, but it’s fun enough to make up for it.  The art is consistent and pleasant, and the opening and ending themes are extremely fun, but it’s not a serious standout in any of those departments.  Also, I swear the background music is stock music, but I don’t remember what other show(s) I’ve heard it in before.

Stray thought: Crim is a precious and relatable cinnamon roll and I love them.

-----

OreSuki OVA (2020)

Platform: Crunchyroll

So, I know I didn’t cover the whole season in my initial review, but I still want to mention the hour-ish-long finale of this show, which was released straight to streaming.  Short version of the rest of the season: Joro starts to actually fall for Pansy, but a new challenger, Hose, appears.  He is irritatingly attractive and effortless at maintaining the right persona for the situation, leading Joro to describe him as “the main character”.  Hose is the sociopathic manipulator Joro wishes he could be, and Pansy, who has a bad past with him, clearly wants nothing more than for Joro to stand up to him.  But, since this is OreSuki, it’s not going to be handled simply.  No, instead, strap in for a grand finale of Joro and Hose competing in, and trying to manipulate through rules-lawyering, an absolutely ludicrous competition to win the right to date Pansy.  And, on top of it, we also get to finally see how Sun-chan got to be the way he is and what happened at that pivotal baseball game that set off the whole plot.  What has Joro learned from the experiences of the past season?  You’ll see!  And you’ll facepalm about it!

Really, you must watch this if you watched the regular season.

W/A/S: 6/5(!)/4ish

Weeb: Basically the same as I said before.  Gags referencing other Japanese media, anime and otherwise, and it's better if you’re familiar with the high school romcoms and harem comedies Joro thinks in terms of.

Ass (and slight content note): -sigh- Why does the camera need to be there?  Also, Joro, you just committed a little bit of sexual assault for the sake of this contest.  Stop.

Shit: I want to rate this overall better than I did the regular season because I think it’s an excellent finale overall because, even though it ends in a very “let’s leave everything unresolved” way that’s common in media that rely on absurd relationships to propel the plot, it does so in a way that makes sense in character.  I personally think it would’ve been stronger if it had, well, confirmed its title, and at least some of the other “challengers” had lost interest in Joro, but I guess they probably want a Season 2, since they have so much more source material to work from.  There are... oh god 14 light novels?!  That is too many.

-----

Your Name. (2016)

Platform: DVD

Two high schoolers -- small-town girl Mitsuha, from Itomori, and big-city boy Taki, from Tokyo -- find themselves in each other’s bodies for a day.  They both think at first it must be a very vivid dream, but when it happens again, and they start finding clues like notes they don’t remember writing and comments by friends and relatives about their out-of-character behavior, they realize the body swap is real.  This begins a relationship of mutual understanding that nobody else can really understand -- or would even believe (except Mitsuha’s grandmother, who is... familiar with this phenomenon) -- and the plot then pivots to a tense adventure where they use their connection, some crucial information Taki has, the skills of Mitsuha’s friends, and the intervention of Itomori’s patron deity, to save the town from an impending disaster.

And that’s all I’ll say about that, because I really do think this is something you should go into blind.  My only remaining comments are that (1) the red string of fate is critically important imagery, and is particularly interesting to me here because, if I took a particular scene correctly, Mitsuha made her own red string of fate from sheer necessity, which is a very different twist on that trope, and (2) I am now curious about the history of the body-swapping phenomenon in-universe.

W/A/S: 4?/2/2

Weeb: As mentioned above, symbolism of the Red String of Fate shows up throughout the movie, as do the occasional distinctly Japanese quirk like a wildly out-of-place vending machine or a café with dogs, and but for the most part it’s a cross-cultural story of understanding and dealing with someone else’s life, and of forming a connection other people don’t -- can’t -- truly understand, and to some extent of divides between urban and rural and modern and traditional that I think could play out in any country with just the local symbolism tweaked.  The significance and content of Shinto beliefs and practices depicted, particularly kuchikamizake, are made pretty explicit, so although foreign to the vast majority of the non-Japanese audience, I feel like this movie also has nearly no barrier to entry for people not familiar with the cultural context, so I don’t want to rate it very high on this scale.

Ass: Look.  It involves teenagers switching bodies.  What do you think they do?  Especially Taki?  But it’s played for laughs, not titillation.

Shit: This movie is beautiful and punched me in the feels and was very satisfying.  The closest I have to a complaint about any aspect of it is that the musical breaks that I guess are supposed to mark acts of the movie almost make it feel like binge-watching a short series instead of watching a single self-contained movie.

[unsurepotatohooman]

Two Birds

Fandom : Sander Sides

Characters : Deceit, Virgil, Remus, Patton

Pairings : Platonic Anxceit, Demus and past platonic, now toxic (?) Moceit

Summary : This fic revolves around how Virgil eventually leaves the "dark sides".

Warnings : Swearing :P

A/N : Wow this is my first fic that I am posting! I worked on this for two hours a few days ago after I finally started to crawl out of my writers block. The lyrics I am using is from a song called Two Birds by Regina Spektor. The plot used in this video is heavily inspired by an animatic by teardroppeddew on YouTube! Their animatic is W O N D E R F U L so please check it out!! Here is the link : https://youtu.be/8S6mWMgMqOo I hope you enjoy!!

Work :

Two birds on a wire

Anxiety and Deceit sat together in the dark sides commons. No one really came out in the open very much. The “dark sides”, so their title states, tended to spend time in the shadows; however, the anxious and deceitful sides had grown closer over the years.

One tries to fly away

“-and then we can use that to our advantage. We could finally be heard, Verge!”

And the other watches him close from that wire

The anxious trait sat atop the counter watching as Deceit paced back and forth in the living room, making sure to avoid the dead animal that was left behind by Remus. Deceit was gesturing as he spoke, he cape flapping with the motion. This is how they spent their time together, plotting.

He says he wants to as well

“That could work. We just need to keep Thomas safe.” Anxiety said with his head in his hand that was propped up on his knee.

But he is a liar

Little did they know that Virgil would be heard more than all of them.

I’ll believe it all

“Virgil, are you alright?”

“Dee, I-I don’t know what to do.”

Virgil shook as he spoke. Deceit swept him inside his room and shut the door.

“Tell me what happened.”

There’s nothing I won’t understand

“I’m one of the core sides now.”

I’ll believe it all

He wasn’t expecting that. Virgil clung to him as he sobbed.

“H-hey, calm down Verge. It’s okay.”

I won’t let go of your hand

“Virgil, look at me.”

Deceit guided the anxious traits eyes to meet his own.

“This is a good thing! You can keep Thomas safe and be heard. The rest of us can’t do that.”

“B-but I have to leave the subconscious.” Virgil sniffed.

Damn. There was always a but.

“I’ll still be here for you Verge, I promise. Just come back and visit us whenever.”

As he spoke, Deceit avoided the dread forming in the pit of his stomach. He focused instead on combing his fingers through the boy’s hair.

“Everything will be fine.”

He didn’t even know that the phrase that slipped between his teeth was a lie.

Two birds on a wire

Deceit sat with his head in his hands; his hat lay close beside him.

“Hello~ Dee!” Remus popped up as he made his way into the commons waving his morning star behind him.

Deceit didn’t even bother to look up at the creative facet.

“Still feeling low?” Remus asked.

“No.” The lie slipped through his teeth.

One says c’mon on and the other says “I’m tired”

“Come on! If Virgil the racoon can be heard why can’t I!?”

“Not now, Remus.” Deceit sighed. They had been having this conversation for weeks now. It always ended in the same argument.

“No! You keep putting this off! I can’t take it Dee!”

The sky is overcast and I’m sorry

“Remus enough!”

Remus froze at the shouting. Deceit turned to face him; his snake eye glowed a dangerous yellow color.

“I will let you know when Thomas is ready. We can’t do this now.”

One more or one less

“Fine! Keep me hidden away!”

“Remus-”

It was no use. The creative side sunk out behind the couch. Deceit walked over to it and peered behind the furniture; sometimes Remus tended to pull pranks and just lay on the floor after pretending to sink out. This however, was no joke.

Nobody’s worried

Deceit sunk out back to his room and tried to ignore the tears streaming down his face, the way his fist clenched by his sides or the way his chest squeezed painfully. The yellow glow faded from his eye.

“Everything’s fine.”

I’ll believe it all~

Virgil hadn’t visited in weeks and Remus had barely spoke to Deceit. Everything seemed to be darker in this side of the mindscape. They all kept to themselves far more and the tension was high.

Deceit sat on his bed while he petted his snake. The green and yellow scales that matched his own glimmered in the light from the stars of desire that floated about the room. Thoughts filtered through his mind; some were from Thomas and others were his own.

There’s nothing I won’t understand

A knock on the door snapped him back to reality. He lied the snake down on the mattress as it released a small his of displeasure. With a flick of his wrist the door was unlocked.

“You may not come in.”

The door opened to reveal Remus with a solemn expression over his face.

I’ll believe it all~

“Hello Remus.” Deceit said shortly, though his eyes swam with curiosity. “What do you desire?”

“Dee-” Remus croaked out. “I-I’m sorry.”

I won’t let go of your hand

The pair ended up on Deceit’s bed; Remus on top of Deceit. The creative side was holding on tightly to his shirt as he wailed about all the things that were going through his mind; horrible things. The deceitful facet normally kept Remus from reeling too far; though, their argument prevented him from doing so.

“I’ve got you Rem.” Deceit said softly as he stroked his hair.

“Please d-don’t leave again.”

Deceit slowly slid his hand into Remus’ and squeezed it gently.

“I won’t; promise.”

Two birds of a feather

Deceit was once again sitting in his room filtering through Thomas’ desires. Some of them were simple enough; the want for pizza or to watch more Steven Universe. Others; however, were much more complicated such as the desire for a stable relationship or skipping out on important events. Morality stood in the way of the more extreme desires with his ideas on rights and wrongs. Deceit scoffed at the thought of him.

To think at one point he used to be close with Patton.

They used to be brothers.

He quickly shook the thought from his mind. There was no need to focus on his own desires right now.

Say that they’re always gonna stay together

“I love you Dee Dee!” Patton squealed as he embraced the side in a hug.

Deceit couldn’t help but smile. In the warmth and comfort of their cat and snake onesies, he responded,

“I love you too, Pat.”

But one’s never going to let go of that wire

“Dee stop! Thomas can’t lie! It will hurt them!”

The two boys stood as they shouted with each other in the mindscape commons.

“Patton,” Deceit’s voice was tired. “If he doesn’t, he will get in trouble! Just listen to me for once!”

He says that he will

“I am!” Patton yelled as tears stream down his face. “What you are saying is wrong!”

But he is a lair

“Dee.”

Deceit jumped at the voice. He was so caught up in his own desires he didn’t notice that Remus was there.

“Remus! God, what do you need?”

There was a pause.

“Virgil’s here.”

Two birds on a wire~

The three boys stood in the “dark sides” common room.

“Well, look who decided to finally show up.” Deceit starts.

Virgil rolled his eyes and shoved his hands deeper into his hoodie pockets; purple hoodie pockets.

“What’s with the new getup?” Remus asked as he gestured with his morning star. “Did you all get like superhero outfits or something?”

“No, we didn’t.”

Something was wrong. Something was… different.

One tries to fly away and the other

“I need you two to stop messing with Thomas.”

Remus’ jaw dropped as Deceit’s clenched.

“Excuse me, what now?”

Watches him close from that wire

“You two are doing him more harm than good!” Virgil yelled as his voice became distorted.

“NO! We agreed that we should all be heard! Don’t you remember what it’s like to be like us or has all of this ‘light side’ stuff just gone to your head!” Deceit snapped.

“Well maybe you shouldn’t be heard if you are just going to hurt Thomas!”

“Maybe you should just go back to all those stuck up dumb asses and leave us alone! We don’t have to listen to a bitch like you!” Remus shouted.

“Fine! Maybe I will!”

With one final glare, Virgil was gone.

He says he wants to as well, but he is a lair

“I ‘ought to go kick his ass right now!”

“Remus, no.”

“W-what?! What do you mean no!?” Remus asked as he gestured wildly about. “He just fucking told us that we are hurting Thomas!”

“And there is no need to go punching him in the gut for it, that will only hurt Thomas.”

“This is BULLSHIT! B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T! I’m out of here!”

And with that, Remus was gone too.

Two birds on a wire

Anger. That was the emotion he felt as the two sides left. He felt anger, confusion and guilt.

Felt.

Feelings.

Emotions…

“Patton.”

One tries to fly away and the other-

Deceit charges into Patton’s room earning a gasp from the moral side.

“Dee! What are you- are you crying?”

Deceit snarled as he stomped over and picked up the moral side by his shirt; his snake eye was gleaming so bright the light side had to squint to look at him.

“Let’s play a game, shall we?”

[heartfeltheart]

Alchemy: Magic Vs. Science

Chapters: 14/25 Fandom: Fullmetal Alchemist/Harry Potter Rating: T Relationships: Edward/Winry, Lan Fan/Ling, and May/Alphonse. Primary Characters: Edward Elric, Severus Snape Additional Tags: Crossover, Teacher!Edward, BrOtp Edward/Severus. Sassy beyond measure. Series: Part 1 of 9. Summary: Magic and Science, are they the same or are they completely different? It just takes one person to point out all up and downs. Along with breaking the stereotypes that come up with being a wizard, alchemist and most of all being human. Thank you, @amynchan! D/C: I do not own Harry Potter or Fullmetal Alchemist. Discord: La Red(Mesh Mash of… stuff.): https://discord.gg/KYjmVAb Alchemy Series: https://discord.gg/DejEYNJ

“English and Edward’s accented voice.” “Amestrian or another foreign language.” “Written notes.” ‘Thoughts.’ First Name: Informal Last Name: Formal (Or used to annoy others)

"I will give you that, Alchemy does have a mystical force behind it. Alchemy is an art of manipulating and altering matter by using natural energy. This act is known as "Transmutation". There is a sequence that comes along with that, comprehension, deconstruction, and reconstruction."

"I understand that, Mr. Elric. However..." A sixth year, a Ravenclaw by the name of Wallace Cross, said in an opinionated voice, he read out of a familiar looking book. "Alchemy is a branch of magic and an ancient science concerned with the study of four basic elements, as well as the study of the transmutation of substances, thus it is intimately connected with potion-making, transformation magic, and chemistry...."

Edward leaned against his desk, arms crossed over his chest and his expression showed he wanted nothing more than to hear what was being said to him. What was being said to him was nothing new to him, the Golden Blonde had read it in one of the many books back in that bookstore in Diagon Alley. Thinking back, the book the brat has is one of the books that were in the 'hell no' pile. The book was geared towards far too much in the magical sense of Alchemy. He wasn't going deny that Alchemy has some sort of mystical force behind it. However, to fully understand Alchemy, you must understand the science behind it. If you do not understand the smaller details, then everything will blow up in your face. Severally.

How did Wallace get into his class again?

Oh, right, he did well in the chemistry problems, everything else... not so much.

'Do I kick him out? Nah, that will be too easy.' Edward pushed away from his desk, he walked over towards the Ravenclaw who was nose deep into his book and reading aloud from it. The Alchemy Teacher reached over and yanked the book out of the sixth year's hands. "Look... Alchemy with the way I was taught is like this..."

-.-

A first-year Hufflepuff scurried along the main floor of the school to head over to the Great Hall. It was almost lunchtime and he wanted to get there before the rush. He slowed down his pace when he got closer to the Alchemy classroom, the last thing he needed is the Alchemy teacher to chew him out for making too much noise.

The Hufflepuff heard rumors that the Alchemy Teacher will snap at the smallest of things. From people mentioning anything about milk, heights, and will...very random things. Right, when it felt like the first year was home free, the doors of the Alchemy classroom burst open and a sixth year Ravenclaw stormed with a look of complete humiliation and anger.

"Class is not over yet!"

"I do not care! I quit this wretched class!"

"Ah.... did I hurt your ego?"

"Ugh!"

The first year Hufflepuff stood there completely terrified at what was happening in front of him. Terrified went to petrified when he saw Mr. Elric stuck his head out of the classroom. Mr. Elric turned his line of sight towards him and raised an eyebrow at him. "Cedric Diggory, right?"

Cedric nodded slowly, not trusting his voice at that moment.

"Could you do me a favor?"

Another slow nod.

"Could you go look for Professor Flitwick, tell him I need to talk to him."

"Yes, sir..."

-.-

"You want all of them? All of them?"

"Look... I know a lot of people do not understand me due to the accent... I need every book you have here that is even remotely linked to Alchemy. All of it, if the books are checked out then check them back in."

Madam Irma Pince gave the Alchemy Teacher a look of complete befuddlement. Why in the world would he want with all those books? It is understandable if he wanted to borrow one here and there but all of them? It didn't help that the young man that was standing in front of her had explained how there is a huge possibility that the information the books are untrue. Complete blasphemy. And... The mere thought of it just made her blood curl. "I will have all the books ready by the end of the day."

"Good. Good."

-.-

Inside a small London café, sitting in the back of the shop a group of 'college' friends and their loyal canine companion, sat around enjoying a nice of hot cup tea or coffee. To anyone from the outside, it appeared that the group was catching up from a long break from seeing each other. Talking about the weather, their hobbies, family or anything that was relevant to the topic. That was what it appeared on the outside, in the inside...

"So...How are we going to do this?" Jean asked over his cup of hot cup of coffee.

"We could always make a ruckus..." Vato stated as he munched on a muffin. "We don't have Edward's owl to help us or the kid himself."

"How about w-" Alex attempted to say but was shot down when everyone gave him a look to remain quiet. The sparkles around him dulled greatly and even his mustache dropped to match his mood.

"Ideas are needed, but not to put us in jail for disturbing the peace and public nudity." Roy laughed when a group of individuals entered the café. His eyes were deadpan that did not match his laughing smile. If anything, they showed how much he wanted to cringe at what Alex is thinking.

"...That could be the only way..." Riza stated, she took a small bite out of a lemon scone. "Get their attention, however, ensure we keep it at a bare minimum. Allow that bare minimum to whisper and allow them to come to us..."

Alex quickly cried tears of joy at the fact his plan was taken into consideration. Although by the looks of it, the plan is going to be downgraded massively. There goes making a statue...

"What exactly should we do?" Kain gulped down nervously, it was going to be one cold day in hell since...Riza... is going along with Alex idea.

"Well... They do magic, might as well do a magic show..." Vato stated with a shrug, he lifted up his own cup of coffee up towards his lips. His eyes wondered over towards Roy to see a familiar sparkle in his eyes. The same type of sparkle that only happened when he came up with a plan that involved chaos, chaos, and more chaos. "I was kidding..."

"What a glorious idea!"

"I was kidding!"

"I like that idea."

"It could work."

"Let's give it a go."

"Sounds like fun."

"...I was being sarcastic..."

-.-

Alarms went off in a certain area in the Ministry of Magic people scurried around in a panic. People whispered of muggle performers doing actual magic and the rumors flew around the building.

"What...? What IS that?"

"Is this magic? What are they doing?"

"WHATDEPARTMENTDOESTHISGOTO?"

-.-

Laughter filled the area, people of all ages watched on with wonder in their eyes. No one wondered this magic is done. Flames licked their faces as the main performer snapped his fingers and flames erupted from his fingertips. The flickering fire got close to the spectators, but never touched them. All the crowd could feel was the heat. It was entertaining to see and many could only watch in awe. Certain individuals pushed their way into the crowd, completely unaware that they were being watched themselves.

"The man isn't using magic."

"Then explain what he is doing."

"Muggle magic?"

"This isn't Muggle Magic..."

"Then what is it?"

The Flame performer snapped his fingers one last time, causing a loud bang to reverberate throughout the area and a lightning-quick burst of flame to momentarily blind all in attendance. Once everyone regained their eyesight, it was then everyone took note the performer had mysteriously vanished.

An Auror stood, flabbergasted, staring at the spot where the small group had just been.

"He... they... what... WHAT?" he stuttered, confused beyond reason. He looked around to his fellow Aurors. They were all just as confused as he. One of them finally shook himself free of the trance, though a bit late, and muttered a Point Me spell, drawing the rest of the small group back to reality. They were led to a newly built wall.

"Is it working?"

"It's a simple Point Me spell. Of course, it's working!"

"But it says...."

"I KNOW what it SAYS! But they aren't right in front of us, are they? And they're not Magic, so they should be close. You two," he said, pointing to his fastest comrades, "go around to the other side of this wall, see what's there. You two spread out. They've GOT to be close..."

-.-

Behind the newly constructed wall, Alex Louis Armstrong and Roy Mustang grinned silently, listening to the Auror's conversation while they waited for Riza to choose the best route for them from her vantage point. They were, after all, a well-functioning military group, left alone, unsupervised and bored in a new country, only told to "get the official's attention". To hell if Roy wasn't going to enjoy this game.

-.-

"And which of those elements that you listed is a gas?" Edward quizzed a student from his Monday class.

"That would be th-"

The door slammed open, interrupting the student's answer and drawing an irritated sigh from Edward.

"Edward Elric?" A Ministry official asked desperately, staring a hole into Edwards's head. Edward ignored him and signaled to the young Ravenclaw to continue.

"Colonel Elric!"

Edward growled but otherwise continued to ignore him.

"And what are the properties of that element... Rachel?" He called on another student, turning his back to the official.

As Edward attempted to keep his class going for the last ten minutes, the Ministry man continued trying to gain his attention. Finally, Edward snapped.

"COLONEL ELRI-"

"VHAT?! I HAFFE TEN MINUTES LEFT IN ZIS CLASS! TEN MINUDES! TEN MINUDES IN VHICH ZEZE STUTENTS COULD PE FINISHING ZEIR LEZON, LEARNING UZEFUL DINGS INSTEAD OF MY NAME AND RANK! NOV YOU GET TO VAIT VITH ZEM—ZILENTLY!- UNDIL I ZAY DAT CLASS IS FINISHED!"

"But sir!"

"ZIT! DOVN! UNLESS YOU CAN LIST THE BERIODIC TABLE ELEMENTS LIKE MY STUDENTS CAN, SHUT UP!"

The stunned man sat down, speechless, in the back of the classroom for the next ten minutes, trying to ignore the snickering from the students that "Mr. Elric ROCKS."

-.-

Edward silently fumed as he followed the Ministry Official up towards Dumbledore's office. The class had just ended and lunch had just begun for everyone else but himself. He might as well see what the crazy government officials want with him. Seeing as they only brought one guy to bring him in, it would either be a small issue or they assumed that they only need one idiot to force him to do whatever they want him to do.

The former Alchemist inwardly snorted at that last thought, they will be sorely mistaken. Even if he can use alchemy, Edward has other skills to pull through whatever gets thrown his way. Especially dealing with Idiot Number 1, the idiot is maintaining his space away from him and would only occasionally glance back to ensure of his own safety.

The only time the Ministry Official spoke was when he said the password to Dumbledore's office. The Gargoyle moved away to reveal the spiral staircase to them and they both walked through to get into the office. The moment that they both passed through the entrance, it closed behind, tension filled the air and it wasn't coming off Edward this time around.

"Vat is it dat you vant vith me?" Edward asked the Ministry Official, inwardly he grinned at how the man flinched away from him. "Vill?"

"Earlier this day, several individuals arrived in London and uh..." The older man took out a piece of parchment and started to read from it. "A male with unkempt black hair, dark eyes, and is wearing a three-piece muggle suit, performing some sort of fire magic in front of a group of muggles."

"Vat the hell does this supposed to mean to me?" Edward bluntly asked, inwardly when he heard the description of the individual, he couldn't help but be reminded of someone from back home. Someone that should remain there and not be here in this country. His mood soured at the thought of that, it didn't help that once officially entered Dumbledore's office to see the old man pacing sitting behind his desk. Hogwarts' headmaster ran his hand through a red feathered bird's feathers while the creature cooed at the affection. "Old man, do you know vat is happening? This is not part of any deal we had and goes along with them knowing about my rank."

"My apologies, Mr.-pardon me, Colonel Elric-"

"Just Mr. Elric will suffice."

"When we had the complication with helping gather your belongings in Xing, I had to reveal your information to the Ministry of Magic. They rather took it into stride at the fact you are a Military Officer, a high-ranking officer, especially now..." Dumbledore trailed off at a familiar looking contract on his desk. Edward mind went back momentarily before he groaned inwardly. Before officially signing the contracting to work at the school, he had created a resume and he only briefly mentioned his military career. Of course.

"We would like you to help us with this..."

"Is that an order?"

"I have orders to bring you back to Muggle London to help us..."

Edward raised an eyebrow at the man in front of him, any emotion of uneasiness and freight gone. Dare he say, the guy had the gall to act like he had an upper hand when he reached towards his person. To reach for his wand perhaps, not like that's going to help him. The Golden Blonde mentally calculated how fast the wizard could take out his wand and the amount of time he could grab hold of the coat rack that was next to him to use as a weapon. As tempting as it sounds to beat the guy go into a bloody pulp, there is an animal in the room and would not want such a creature to see such a sight.

Dumbledore had a similar train of thought when he quickly stood up and clapped his hands together to dissipate the tension in his office. "Would you help us at our time of need, Mr. Elric? Perhaps this person is doing alchemy?"

Edward snorted, he leaned toward the coat rack just in case he would need it and gave the Ministry official a deadpan expression. "I'll help... Not because you lot are threatening me; I am curious what has all of you on edge...I want to shake hands with the main cause for the disturbance for causing you guys to ask a simple muggle for help."

"Why you little..."

Bang!

Silence...

"...In my defense... He wanted to use dat stick against me..."

"...Is he alive?"

"Let me check..."

Poke. Poke. Poke. Groan.

"Yes."

-.-

"They are running around the area, Sir."

"Are they close to finding us?"

"Not even close."

"Keep me informed of their movements."

"Yes, sir."

Mustang clicked a button on a two-way radio, he grinned at the device in his hand. Fuery had come upon an electronics store before their big plan had begun. One of the main items he got was a couple of two-way radios, something that is far more useful to the radios they have back at Amestris. "Everything is in the clear, those idiots are several blocks away from us. Havoc has them in his sights."

Armstrong response is a pose that was in no doubt passed down the Armstrong Family for several generations. The Alchemist were in a different alleyway and are hiding behind a seemingly wrongly placed stone wall. Nothing in suspicious at all... Unless you are a local and know for fact this wall should not be there at all.

"Should we put on another sho-" Mustang went on to say but was interrupted when Havoc's voice came out of the two-way radio.

"We have a problem."

"What's the problem, Havoc?"

"I just spotted Colonel Elric."

"... Come again?"

"Colonel Elric is with the idiots."

Mustang and Armstrong glanced at each other with blank expressions. For the former, this wasn't part of the game plan, Elric chess piece was not supposed to come into play until much later. Even if the brat could no longer do alchemy, he could recognize Armstrong's work and the game had just barely started.

Mustang pulled out his two-way radio and promptly pressed a button. "Where are they right now? What is their current locat-"

"OI! COLONEL BASTARD!"

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[alitheia-writes]

Automaton (KamiMiyo/Miyokami) ch 1

Automaton - Alitheia Fandom/Relationships: Joker Game/KamiMiyo-MiyoKami Tags: Canon Universe. Friendship/Love. Light angst. Non-chronological. Summary: —but spies were not machines. (Kaminaga recounted the past and dreamed of the days to come; of a world in which Miyoshi hadn’t ceased to exist.) Chapters: one | two | three | four Link: AO3

A/N: Did a fanfic with this kind of writing style before, I thought it'd be fun to try it with KamiMiyo too (and in English ;w;). Portraying both Kaminaga and Miyoshi is so hard—I have so many ideas for them, which I'd probably never be able to write lol—but the nature and complexity of their relationships was the thing that made me love this pairing instantly. Hopefully, though, I won't mess up so much and this fanfic comes out in the way I see them in my head, hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it! (´・ω・`)

Joker Game © Yanagi Koji and I do not gain any profit from writing this fanfiction.

i. under the morning light

One of the reminiscences that could never be washed away from Kaminaga's memories was of a spy named Miyoshi, as he sat beside the window at the agency’s small library on the fourth floor, with a book on his lap, basked under the morning sun. It was a modest scenery, neither a special occasion nor a point of culmination, but there was just something in its simplicity that made the moment lingered. Perhaps because it was their first chance to talk with only the two of them present, or maybe because it was the first time he realized how flawless the contour of Miyoshi’s face was—from his pretty eyes to his salient chin—carved by shadows and golden rays.

Kaminaga had pretty much picked up on everyone’s quirks since the early of their trainee days. It was a little harder with the number of people who started at first, but later as the days went and they finally dwindled to eight men, the more chance they got to interact, the more each of their personalities became prominent. But it had never occurred to him, the Miyoshi who liked reading books—not that Kaminaga thought he didn’t fit the smart image—he just didn’t see that narcissistic Miyoshi would also need to hide himself away sometimes.

“Sorry,” he remembered it was he who first attempted for any sort of conversation, during the first few weeks of their training, “did I disturb you?”

“As long as you won’t start screaming or something of the like,” chestnut-colored eyes glanced, “then I’m not bothered.”

“I’m just going to open the window and smoke, if that’s alright with you?”

“Be my guest.”

Miyoshi titled his torso a bit to the side so he could easily open the windowpane, followed by a slight shake of the head and a thin smile when refusing the cigarette Kaminaga offered him. They eventually just sat there, falling into a sweet silence of the early winter. Kaminaga leaned on his chair, eyes parking somewhere between the bookshelves behind Miyoshi’s back, as his ears searched for proof of lives, even if it was just a faint sound of breaths or tiny chirp of birds outside.

He wasn’t thinking about anything particular when without a warning, Miyoshi closed his hardback book with a dull thud, blowing off dust particles that looked akin to light snow. He left it on his thighs, while his gaze shifted outside; still as a statue, as if was contemplating, or trying to find inspiration in the windows of other buildings. Bending forward to tap the cigarette on the ashtray on the small table separating them, Kaminaga peeked at his book—The Odyssey, carved in silver letters on a sky blue cover.

Positioning his back to be as comfortable as the wooden chair allowed him to, he puffed trails of smoke.

“I never thought you’re a fan of Homer.”

“I’m not,” their eyes met for a brief second, before Miyoshi returned his gaze to his book, tapping his fingers on the binding, “was just looking for something to keep me busy last night.”

“You could always come to cafeteria like usual, you know,” Kaminaga said, “we played cards until past midnight.”

The corners of his lips turned slightly upwards, and the only thing that crossed Kaminaga’s mind was how Miyoshi was always able to make his lips curved in a way that look so effortless and natural, “Sometimes you just need the time to be alone.”

“Well, if you say so, I guess I could understand.” He chuckled a bit. “So, did you find something interesting about Odysseus?”

“Not particularly, except maybe for the fact that he probably slept with pretty much every woman he met,” Miyoshi looked at him, still smiling, “somehow that sounds a bit familiar, doesn’t it?”

“Let’s just pretend you weren’t looking at me when you said that.”

“I’m still looking at you, though.”

Kaminaga laughed. “May I ask what are you trying to imply here?”

“Other than things that have been depicted in some ancient Greek epic poems actually still could be found in today’s society, no,” Miyoshi replied, “I’m not trying to imply anything.”

Only a couple of weeks ago, this man and all of his sickeningly sweet, disparaging innuendos had irked him to no end. But now when he’d realized that Miyoshi might simply be a cynic to the core, and that by throwing sarcastic remarks was his way of trying to keep the conversation going, he instead found himself grinning, genuinely amused at how bizarre his personality was. For the same reason he also didn’t reply. Kaminaga hated losing, but for this one time, he’d let Miyoshi feel satisfied. Consider it as him being genial. And he could be wrong, but Miyoshi did seem a bit younger than him, so consider it as Kaminaga being a courteous big brother as well.

So then he resorted to just enjoy his cigarette, while the smoke danced above his head before it dissipated in the morning wind. There were, after all, some moments that were meant to be savored, just like this one.

Kaminaga might not look like it, but he actually fancied reading. So far the only trainee he met most often in the library was Jitsui, though their relationship was just that of a polite conversation with occasional comments or recommendations about books that both of them had read. Miyoshi’s presence might be a good change of pace; listening to other people was indeed Kaminaga’s natural interest. Miyoshi would almost certainly be a great partner for conversations, though sometimes he made Kaminaga want to throw him the ashtray.

“Actually,” Miyoshi said, suddenly, “there was something that kind of caught my attention more than Odysseus and his adventures.”

“Oh?”

Miyoshi set the book in his hands, letting the papers turned swiftly under his fingers, as if trying to find a certain page. Kaminaga didn’t want to admit that he was already curious. But he didn’t stop until the back cover was reached, and the man returned it to his lap instead. “I just thought there was something quite amusing.”

“And that something is?” When his interlocutor only smiled, he quickly added, “Don’t make it as if you want to say it then leave me hanging.”

“Am I catching your interest, Kaminaga?”

“Perhaps.” He puffed his cigarette, looking as absent-minded as possible. Though Kaminaga was a good actor—that was part of his job as a spy, actually—he knew there was no use of pretending in front of people who were also always faking.

“Automaton.”

“Pardon?”

“You asked what’s amusing, my answer is, automaton; King Alcinous’ gold and silver dogs,” Miyoshi said, “that, if you’re familiar with some Greek myth or Homer’s works.”

And of course he did. Kaminaga had read The Odyssey—hell, he even read The Iliad before that—and his memory was excellent, so he knew exactly what was being talked about. “The dogs that guard his palace?” he asked. “What’s funny about them?”

Miyoshi placed the book on the table, almost making Kaminaga think that he wanted to show something, but the book cover was closed. “Define automaton?”

“The Homer’s one? A statue out of metal, having the ability to move by themselves because they were given life by the gods or something.”

“Precisely,” Miyoshi sighed, “and that also sounds strangely familiar, isn’t it?”

Kaminaga raised an eyebrow, this time not catching what Miyoshi meant. He hoped his expression was enough to make the other spy elaborate further, but the man only maintained the curve on his lips, as if it was the only thing that he was supposed to do in the world. He then rose from his seat, dusted invisible dust off his waistcoat, and took the suit jacket from the back of the chair. Without any word, he walked toward the door.

“Wait,” Kaminaga called him right when his hand was on the doorknob, “where are you going?”

“I meant to catch some sleep, if you don’t mind,” stopping briefly, he said, “I was up all night, you see.”

“Well yes, but I still don’t get what you mean.”

He stared at Kaminaga for a few long seconds, face unreadable. Miyoshi then shrugged. “Yet.”

The door closed. Kaminaga was left alone in the room, with old books and tales about automatons.