#and now im still ill and im no where close to death i hope but i keep getting worse steadily. i have some hope but

[northernworms]

where are the books and the movies where the chronically ill or terminally ill person lives? genuinely asking

(see tags. small vent)

[neil-gaiman]

hey mr gaiman. i saw that this post got revisited and wanted to address it.

i submitted this ask over a year ago on my old account and it was one of the stupidest things i ever did. it was my first tumblr account. id only been really online for a few weeks. i was 13. i was just coming back to school after a global pandemic.

ive been a fan of good omens for years and a fan of yours for longer. i was brought up reading odd and the frost giants and fortunately the milk, and as i got older i fell in love with your norse mythology book, good omens, snow glass apples, the sleeper and the spindle, and more.

i was excited to see one of my favorite authors on tumblr and tried to come up with the most bold and interesting ask i could think of.

i was rude and misinformed and it was a stupid choice of me to send it in with no thought.

but i got feedback. some in the form of kind suggestions. quite a few in the form of death threats and people telling me to kill myself.

while those specific messages were rude and hateful, the point got across. i educated myself to the best of my abilities, and eventually came back online.

not only did i misuse the term queerbaiting but i also implied that you were not an amazing supporter of the queer community. that’s absolutely incorrect. you’ve done so much for us with activism, representation, and overall kindness.

i wanted to address this ask that got so much attention because despite moving accounts i still feel guilt and shame every time i see it, or even when i interact with any of your posts at all. i need to actually address it.

also, i wanted a proper apology to be made. by no means am i now a saint. but im trying to be more thoughtful about thinking before i speak.

whether or not you decide to make a public response to this, i think ill find some peace knowing you’ve received this. ive needed closure on this for a long time.

im overjoyed and thrilled that season two is so close. thank you for tolerating the dumb questions of pretentious kids and thank you for helping to create a world where we can grow to be better than we were.

First of all, and most importantly, I'm really sorry that people were mean to you. That's awful. And nobody should ever have to deal with death threats or online threats and attacks, let alone a thirteen year old.

And secondly, you do not owe me an apology. I figure I have a Tumblr account, people ask things. Mostly they'll get nice replies, occasionally (normally when I'm being asked the same thing over and over) the replies will be terser. There has to be a certain amount of rough and tumble though, and occasionally I'll grab an ask that represents all of the asks I've had on that subject, and try and reply to all of them. That's what happened to you. I was getting tired of being accused of Queerbaiting for the occasional answer about a Season that was not yet released and about which nobody knew anything. And I needed to tell everyone who was doing this that they had to stop now. You had the misfortune to be the representative of all of the other people.

If you are not making mistakes you are not human and you are not learning anything.

(I wish there was tone of voice on the internet.)

And I think you are growing and learning and will make a fantastic adult.

I really hope you enjoy Season 2 when it drops.

[jaal-ama-daravv]

dissecting the Emmrich graveyard scene below for how down bad they are for eachother

dissecting the alternate romance path dissecting the argument scene (lich path) dissecting the emmrich romance scene (lich path) emmrich x rook cinematic

find my original post here

we begin -

"I would hate to lose you whilst I am still mortal"

this line is directly after Rook questioning all the flirting and what that means for them should he become a lich. which Emmrich responds witht he above. this is a tough one for me to break down as either way Emmrich retains his soul, emotions, and thoughts if he becomes a lich. I believe this line is tied to the fact of being afraid Rook will not want him anymore once he explains his desire to be a lich, as alluded to throughout the rest of the scene.

this one is kind of self explanatory. Emmrich states that nothing will change if he becomes a lich, apart form the no death thing, but would still consider Rook in the decision.

then we are met with a sigh - this is a sigh of desperation. 'how do i choose my words so carefully that Rook see's my desire and doesn't shun me for it' - hence Emmrich goes on to explain what being a lich would mean in hopes rook will still desire him. (this becomes a big factor throughout the rest of the lich romance - desire)

'considerations'

as above, and again now with considering rook. now the first conversation cuts out after this. it is my belief that these considerations are considering Rook and their perspective, whilst also including the fact that it is later revealed that Emmrich might die during the rite, therefore losing Rook whilst still mortal. I believe this line is both a statement of care for Rook, and his fear od death.

throughout the quest, Rook asks Emmrich a bunch of questions, more so just filler content so Rook can understand lichdom and the process.

then Emmrich shows you something that is probably the closest thing to his heart before Rook. his parents graves. keep in mind that Emmrich had these made, and he engraved 'they walk eternity hand in hand'. Then the next shot is Rook and Emmrich walking side by side to the shrine.

walking eternity hand in hand is also mentioned in the lich romance scene,"find you in another world" aka the fade. this man has believed in soulmates for decades.

subtle conversation tactic of, 'what would you want me to be, rook'. here you either say happy with someone who cares about him, or break up with him (i do nOT reccommend).

simple to the point, emmrich is looking for subtle validation here for rooks feelings

and the fact that there is only one correct option is wild too.

If you choose, "Whatever you want", you reply by saying Happy. which very close to the romance committment line of "Happy with someone who cares for you."

Emmrich is looking for that connection so so badly, hence why only one option

Emmrich's gaze towards Rook as he asks them what shes wants, and baring his soul to her.

after committing - Emmrich does not look away from rook once.

rook is fucked. rook is head over heels in love and smitten with this man. keep in mind that throughout the rest of the game, there are conversations with companions where Emmrich will straight up shut them down when pressed about them 'moving too fast' or 'do you know what you are doing'. Emmrich is very clearly defensive about these things, which is so hot.

in my playthrough, they are necromancers, well aware of how short life is, especially facing the apocolypse. ofc they are going all in.

this man is gonna go home and jump up and down on his bed

do i need to explain this? the shrine of passion and devotion, the ETERNAL SHRINE.

anyway im really, really down bad for this dynamic and them. im also in love with my rook so that doesnt help.

ill most likely do a break down of each scene

[zennjiwrlds]

“ FRIENDS. ” | lee myung-gi/player 333 x reader | sg drabbles

synopsis. no way he'd meet you, again — his "friend" since childhood. was he simply aware? no he fucking wasn't. he knew you weren't the type of person to be in debt either, unless he's just mistaken. though, why did you still managed to get in the games?

⠀⠀❕⠀⠀ warnings. spoilers???

⠀⠀❕⠀⠀ subj. i tried to make the reader's gender genderless. so if u see an issue in the process, pls tell me right away!! also pretend reader is REALLY good at gonggi. and erm, reader is indeed anxious and likes to fidget, a LOT.

a/n. can u acc tell im testing how ill write my aesthetics..... like erm hehennensjsjbajq im so indecisive im gonna explode into madness and rage 🔥🔥 also it's been quite a while since I've written.... idk weeks? months? who knows?? however, no beta so we explode young lolz erm... enjoy ig

⠀⠀ IT WAS MOMENTARILY baffling him, really. he thought he'd go on about his day whilst he played the games thoroughly without any issue being visible. but when he saw your distraught figure in red light, green light? his mind were a naught but dozens of clouded thoughts. he spoke to himself that it was just him hallucinating or perchance a dream yet a nightmare.

⠀⠀hell, he even thought you looked good.

⠀⠀ the way your free hand swept and dragged people's hair — moreover if they pissed you off. it reminded him how you'd also drag his hair when you were children, your laughter and serene aura gave him modest comfort. yet you disappeared without a trace. he was worried sick; where had you been?

⠀⠀ nonetheless, what irked him is you didn't give him a single glance, not even physical contact like you used to do. did you forget about him? it irritated him yet it made his demeanor worrisome. you made him feel abandoned. he wanted you to at least linger your gaze at him, even if it means the last time.

⠀⠀ did you still consider him as a friend, at this point? or did he become another stranger to you?

⠀⠀ although, his expectations were slightly different from what he previously had thought hence the second game was announced. momentarily, you were paired up with him. he hoped you would interact him, even if it means very little.

⠀⠀ “hi, " were the compact words that left your lips. oh, how he felt dreamy when he heard your voice for the first time. he wanted to have a full confab with you right now, he did. however, he acknowledged to himself that right now wasn't the time hence this event was a life or death occurrence. he knew to himself that he had to focus. though, his mind was currently filled with you. it was always you.

⠀⠀ people were seen struggling whilst doing the five minigames, though his team only struggled slightly. but you? he observed how you were merely nervous doing the gonggi. yet no issues came in your way. the way your fingers motioned every move of the stone—throwing the stones each one freely and efficiently—eyes chiefly focused on the tiny solid plastics one by one. the tension amidst the air erupting as you flip the stones with ease, the silence was loud yet there was enough murmurs for you to hear—one hand opening itself as the five stones were visible upon one's sight—the guard making an 'O' shape afterwards.

⠀⠀ your team was the first one to yell, a loud yet beamed yell. your heart simultaneously pounded on your chest as it rang clear on your ears, the relief washing over your occupied thoughts as you exhaled deeply, own pair of eyelids closed shut. yet myung-gi had his eyes placed on you, it was always you.

⠀⠀ by that means, you and your team had to go back to the lobby. though, he slightly notices how your walk were sloppy. like a turtle attempting to get back to the shore.

⠀⠀ REST, that's what you want to do. sleeping—closing your eyes whilst you sat down on your bunk, hoping that you'd do this for eternity. although, pair of shoes were perceived as the direction was going towards you, what's their problem now?

⠀⠀ opening your exhausted lids, you looked up forward, only to take sight of your friend from childhood—both hands in pocket the moment he looked at you. at the current occurrence, he looked like his mind was throbbing to speak to you, to talk with you. your gesture, but, leisure as you invited him to sit next to you silently, shrugging off your shoulders. your eyes looking at the opposite direction as his—a soft yet small smile tugged his lips.

⠀⠀ "y—you look uh, good," realizing his form of speech, he bit his lip rigidly, enough for it to slightly bleed, "...ah— i mean, you did good— out there, yeah.” now his breathing pattern were shivering. gee, did he also mention how hot it is?

⠀⠀ dull as ever, you nodded awkwardly, "thank you." he glanced at you to see your features again—nonchalance could be seen on your face. but did he see you just smile for a second?

⠀⠀ awkward silence occupied the tension, both friends sitting next to each other on the opposite ends of the bunk, myung-gi was hoping for a motion to appear from you but failed to avail.

⠀⠀ "why are you here?" he questioned you—fingers fidgeting was visible on your lap—few gazes that and there from him. "i could ask you the same question, " you responded swiftly, "...I'm here to start off a new life— to get money for future needs." breaths hitched, your anatomy rocking back and forth a little—which to others are you sitting still, yet for myung-gi? he acknowledged to himself that you were anxious, though from what?

⠀⠀"you're here because you're in debt, are you?" you added, his jaw tightened from the question— "crypto market? people bought your coin, right?" oh, so you were aware of the incident.

⠀⠀ "look, I—"

⠀⠀ "yap later, I'm too tired for that." you groaned, your eyebrows scrunching—lips thin as you sighed briefly. unfortunately, you were unable to meet his gaze, again. your hand waving thoroughly at his direction while you still refrained yourself from looking at him. he blinked till he chuckled lightly, gazing at your aggravated figure. "still like your old self, huh?"

⠀⠀ you breathed through your nose, your heart fluttering at his full, but, jaunty laughter. he still had that youth in him, you just know it. nevertheless, before you knew it, his own hand made contact with yours—gravity seems to slow down—the friction was dense yet observable. his smile was hesitant thus apparent, his face increasing in temperature as he still had the cheeky smile plastered on his facial features.

⠀⠀ you made no move whatsoever, you, in fact, did not know how to respond to physical contact that well so you were slightly distant compared to the previous times. you sat there, mind's blank and black. you both are friends, aren't you? he had always been this affectionate since you two were juveniles, then there's no issue evident for that, right?

⠀⠀ "we are friends, myung-gi." you stated.

⠀⠀"you mean more to me than that, [n]." he further alleges.

[lostinlads]

Meet The Leader Of Onychinus

Synopsis: After days of being locked up in the base of the man wo had taken you from your home, you finally are summoned to meet him. Little do you know it is so much worse than you imagined. You're in the base of the criminal organization, Onychinus.

Tags: sylus x femme!reader, MDNI IF YOU ARE A MINOR YOU WILL BE BLOCKED, mc is really going through it, mentions of guns, mentions of kidnapping, your first few days at onychinus, sylus is rough with you, angst, hurt no comfort

Words: 2.7k

an: Firstly i want to thank all of you for how much love this fic has gotten so far, i honestly didnt expect any of this so im kinda in shock??? But really, thank you. Ive been sitting on this idea for a little over a month now and im finally getting around to working it out for all of you!! but i hope you enjoy this chapter! its a tad longer than the first, once i find my footing in writing again maybe ill make them longer but this is what i worked up for now!! Also as always if you see any mistakes please let me know!

ao3 | Chapter List | kofi

The N109 Zone has kept you in near complete darkness for days. You didn't know how long you spent in this room, door locked from the outside, no way to leave; but it felt like a lifetime already. You were grateful for the ensuite bathroom, the sink enough to satisfy your thirst, but the small amount of food left for you on the desk was a reminder that it was just enough to keep you alive. A small box of crackers and a handful of granola bars didn't satisfy the hunger in your stomach. 

Sleep has eluded you, no matter how much you tried, it barely came. When it did, you were restless - tossing and turning for a few hours until you rose again. Dreams filled with terrifying crimson eyes and vast darkness. The constant blackness didn't help, not knowing the time of day or how long you had been here made your unease crawl under your skin. Your time spent by laying around and watching out the window for any signs of anything, but everything stayed still.

The house had been quiet, soft shuffling of the maid could be heard through the door at times, but other than that there was nothing. Were you the only one here? Where did the twins and that man go? Maybe the thought of leaving you here to starve to death hadn't been too extreme, seeing that no one had come to check on you since the moment you arrived. Kieran and his twin tossing your bag in the room and shutting it tight behind you, the unmistakable sound of the lock latching closed.

You often found yourself imagining what would've happened if you were strong enough to fight back, strong enough to get away from the entire situation. How could this have happened? Your father? The only family you have, selling you off to a criminal for payment. It didn't feel real. If things had been different, if you had gotten away, maybe you'd be somewhere else by now. Hiding out in the depths of Linkon, or maybe at the beach. 

A single sharp knock brought your mind back, your heart speeding up in your chest as you stand from the plush bed. The door unlocked and opened; familiar crow masks meet your gaze as they both stand in the doorway.

"Boss wants to see you now," One spoke, stepping forward into the room. The wide space receding at his presence, shrinking the room by tenfold as your hands shake. Reluctantly, you step forward, surrendering yourself to them to take you to their boss. His hand curls around your arm as he leads you out, his twin mirroring his actions. They lead you through the massive house, warm, dim light illuminating the halls as you pass. The thought occurs, that it wouldn't matter if they held you, you wouldn't make it out of this maze of a building alone. 

Rounding a corner, you are pulled down a long hallway. A brilliant, massive door stands before you, intricate wood carvings dance up the length like vines. Two brass door handles twinkle in the dim light, glistening like a prize. But beyond that door, whatever was waiting for you, is anything but. 

With each step, you could feel his presence looming - his power consuming. If only you could run, save yourself from the torture you were about to endure. The anticipation eating you alive, steeling you for any abuse about to come.

The twins reach out, hands curling around both handles before swinging the wide, heavy doors open.

If it hadn't been a few sconces on the wall, barely illuminating the room, you would've guessed it had been abandoned. But at the far end, a chair sat, large enough to be called a throne. And perched on it, with crossed legs and his head in his hand, the man who had taken you from your home. From your life. 

Candlelight flickered over his strong features; you couldn't make out if he was pissed or simply bored. You didn't want to find out. But caught like his prey, you were immobilized, arms wrapped in two strong hands holding them firmly at your sides. Is this what it feels like to be a hare, staring down the throat of a looming wolf, about to be consumed? You wouldn't doubt if he could hear your beating heart from across the room, the way his eyes stayed glued to your form. 

"You can go," You flinch, the deep voice echoing in the large space. Within a second the hands drop from you, the twins turning and leaving. You didn't watch them, couldn't even lift your head from the floor. Stay still, stay quiet. Stay complicit and maybe you would survive this.

Silence so deafening as the room settles around the two of you, his eyes burning holes into your flesh as neither of you move. Was he waiting for you? Were you supposed to speak? You ball your fists at your side, closing your eyes as you take a deep breath. The feeling of dread never leaving, maybe this is where you die? He had his fun, leaving you to go insane as you stayed locked away, now this is his real show. Ripping you apart, shooting you, stabbing you. Anything. 

"Apologies for my lack of manners," He finally spoke, his words feeling like a blow to your stomach as you breathe out. You don't meet his gaze, eyes still screwed shut. "I had some... business to attend to for a few days. But now that I have returned," He pauses, something touches you and you jump, eyes flinging open as you see tendrils of red and black mist curl around you before locking around your wrists, drawing them together in a bruising grip. You cry out, a soft mewl as you try to pull away. "We have some business to attend to ourselves."

"I... Please, I'll do anything just don't hurt me," You whimper out, tears already threatening to leave your tired eyes. You look at him, finally. Seeing those blood red eyes on you again brought a chill down your spine. 

"Then don't make me," His words matter of fact. He dropped his hand from his head as his other rose up, more mist shooting across the room before it tightened around your waist. Next thing you know you're being pulled across the room at lightning speed, your hair flying behind you as the air gets knocked from your lungs. You prepare for impact, maybe a wall or a floor, but it never comes. You're delicately placed on his lap, strong thighs under yours as you blink, trying to understand what happened. Your wrists are still bound, the grip of the mist never wavering. 

"Please..." You whisper again, wanting this cat and mouse game to end. Just get it over with, for him to stop toying with you. You almost don't see it, a small tick of his lips upward in a smirk for just a second. 

"I need to make sure you won't disobey me," He leans back, resting in his throne as if this is the most normal situation in the world. "I know your power; how strong it can be. How strong you can make me." A crease forms between his brows.

"Y-yes," You stutter out, a tear slipping from your eye. 

"I have got to say, Kitten," He smirks again at the nickname, your gut turning in response. "If I train you right, you will be my most powerful weapon." His hand comes up, you flinch away, eyes closing as you turn your head waiting for a blow. But his long fingers brush against your cheek, tucking your hair behind your ear. 

"But," He speaks again. "I don't know if I can trust you yet." His words lower to a whisper, the closeness and how quiet his voice became felt like this whole scene was more intimate than you wanted. He was toying with you, you knew this. Kneading you like dough before tossing you in the oven to bake you alive. Trust? You? He could kill you without thought and he is worried about trusting you? Maybe he is planning on whipping you to submission, breaking you to the point you can no longer do anything but be used by him. The though made you want to puke. You needed to think, work a plan to lessen your sentence in this hell so the pain wouldn't be so bad.

"Maybe you could trust me if I can trust you in return," You try your hardest to speak with confidence. He cocks an eyebrow at you, tilting his head slightly. "I mean," Your words rush out, grasping at anything to delay the inevitable. "I don't even know your name..." You whisper out. He laughs, his hot breath fanning over your face.

"You can call me Sylus."

"Sylus," You repeat, nodding your head once.

"And I'm the leader of Onychinus," He watched in amusement as the realization washed over you, the candlelight flickering off of his features making his face look like some kind of monster. Face dropping as your pulse quickened at that one word. Onychinus. The most dangerous criminal organization in the N109 Zone. And here you were, caught in the trap of the leader, sitting on his lap at his base. The nausea returned, your stomach turning as your mouth flooded with saliva. There really was no hope for you, you were royally fucked. 

"O-Onychinus," You breathe out, your vision tunneling as your pulse pounded in your veins. Sylus's lips curled up in an evil smile, his eyes dancing between yours.

"That's right, Kitten. That Onychinus." You try to swallow, the lump in your throat so large you almost choke. "Your - lovely - father had been playing too many games down in The N109 Zone and found himself in the palm of my hand." He held out his large hand, as if to demonstrate. "Having the right-hand man to the mayor of Linkon as your client is only as useful as any lowlife is. But the more money he owed the more I got fed up with is useless promises and his pathetic excuses. But luckily, he offered me you." His fingers curl into his palm, except his index which he pointed at your chest. "And that ticking little bomb in your chest." Almost as if on cue, your heart sped impossibly faster as he tapped on it twice. 

"So," He pulled away, leisurely resting back in the chair. "I don't really care if you trust me. I just need to make sure that you don't get any silly ideas of escaping or trying to take me down from the inside out. I own you now, there's no where you can run to, Kitten." He looked away, boredom coating his features again as his eyes trailed past you. You couldn't do anything other than stare at his haunting face. How could you run? The leader of Onychinus surely had more surveillance than you could ever imagine. And taking him down? You barely had enough energy to even sit here.

"I won't," You promise weakly, your words a breathless whisper as your eyes stay trained on his face. Your fists ball, muscles tensing against the tight ring of mist. The pressure straining against your pulse.

His eyes drift back to yours, a hand lifting from the arm of the chair. You watch more of the black and red smoke flow from thin air. It grazes your arm; you fight against a wince as it trails down to your still conjoined wrists. The link holding them together snaps as the tendril loops around one, firm but not suffocating like before. It lifts it, hand facing the ceiling as it continues to coil around your skin like a snake. Even though you wanted to, you couldn't deny how sensual the act felt. 

"Let's try something, then," Sylus purrs, sending a shiver down your spine and drawing your eyes back to his face. His intense gaze flickering between your eyes as the corner of his lips draw up into a smirk. The confused heart in your chest sped faster, at the anticipation or how intimate the setting has become? You weren't sure. 

His long fingers traced up your inner forearm, gliding up to your wrist in a delicate touch as goosebumps rose in its wake, drawing a gasp from your lips. You watch as Sylus's fingers push yours open, splayed wide before his thread through yours. 

HIs words ring in your ears from days prior. He doesn't do that. But here he is now, you nestled on his large thighs as his hand intwines with yours. Maybe it had been a front, a shoe so no one knows what he really does with his toys.

But to your surprise his hand tightens, an almost crushing grip before you feel the all too familiar pull of your evol. Power being pulled from deep inside your core as he tries to draw it out. But your head swirled, blood rushing as you cry out.

"Stop, please," You cry, trying to pull your hand from his. The grip only tightened as the crease between his brows returned with a scowl. 

"Not so fast," He gritted between his teeth. Sylus pushes harder, eyes closing in an attempt to focus on waking your evol. White, hot pain bloomed in your throbbing head, making a sob rip from your chest.

"I c-can't! Please, Sylus, I can't!" You plead out again, your free hand coming to cradle your skull. His eyes snap open, washing over your features before letting your hand fall with a scoff. 

"You're lucky I don't like picking on the weak, Kitten," He seethed. Your eyes screw shut, other hand coming to your head as you try your hardest to will the pain away. Your body weak with hunger and exhaustion, you didn't care if he killed you for not resonating with him, you almost hoped he would, anything to stop this burning pain.

Sylus shifted under you, but you didn't care, praying he was reaching for a gun to end this never-ending nightmare. But a minute later the tendrils enveloped you again. The feeling of Sylus's thighs left you as your body was placed onto the hard, cold floor. 

He didn't speak, you don't know if he was sitting and watching you writhe in pain or focused on another point in the room. Wishing you were a stronger person, you'd curse him out, spit in his face and scream at him for causing you so much pain. But the only thing you could manage was a weak sob.

The twin heavy doors sounded behind you; two boot clad footsteps grew louder until they stopped next to you.

 "Take her to her room. We're done here," Sylus spoke, his voice cold as stone.

"Yes, Boss," The twins obeyed, their hands returning around your arms slowly lifting you from the floor to your feet. you couldn't help but note that their touch was cautious, almost caring, as they paused to help you figure out your footing.

Once steady, they lead you down the winding, confusing maze that was the base of Onychinus in silence until you reach the door that contained your prison cell. Kieran releases your arm as he steps forward, clasping the knob before opening the door.

If his twin hadn't been holding onto you, you would've collapsed at the sight before you. Large boxes lined the room, a few smaller ones resting on the plush bed. If it hadn't been for the dove plush sitting atop of one, you wouldn't know what the contents would be. But you remember that same dove sitting on your bed at home. These were your things, your beloved belongings. A splash of color against the dim, dark area you had spent your last days. A sense of familiarity, a sense of home. Safety.

Kieran's twin lets you go, your feet wasting no time to move beneath you, drawing you further into the room. Your shaking hands reach out, reaching or the dove, almost needing to confirm that this is real. Your hands grasp it, not wasting any time to pull it to your heaving chest as a soft, relieved sob slips past your lips. You turn around and face the two masked men watching from the doorway.

"Thank you," Two simple words fall from your mouth, but they nod, understanding before they shut the door, leaving you some peace. 

Knees hitting the wooden floor beneath you as you collapse. Uncontrollable sobs shaking out of your weak body.

[heartofwritiing]

Kiss me (beneath the milky twilight)

paring: musicanbur x fem!reader

summary: you're the backup singer for lovejoy, the fans don’t know you and wilbur are together, but one duet changes that.

authors note: trying to practice dialogue, so sorry if it is a little wired and doesn’t make sense idk how to write good conversation lmao, also i thought this idea was cute hope you guys like it :)

warnings: short, a make-out on stage, fluff, unedited!

“Okay, someone ate the last poptart this morning on the bus, fess up, who was it?”

Mark, who was twirling his drum stick a few times questioned amongst the group as you and the rest of lovejoy stood in a circle backstage minus Wilbur; who was still asleep in his dressing room. Pre-show naps were a ritual for him now.

Being on tour was an experience to say the least. You never thought you’d be sharing a small space with four grown men, but here you were living on a tour bus for the next four months with them. Most days it wasn’t complete chaos, you all had your respective bunks and areas but a lot of times you thought you’d somehow died and were sent to purgatory until whoever decided to send you to actual hell.

“I don’t know but I have a stash in the bus so I know it’s not me,” you raise your hands up in innocence.

“Why do you get your own secret stash?” Mark frowns.

Wilbur liked to spoil you with snacks to hide around the bus so the other boys wouldn’t find them just to tease them, All in good fun of course.

“Perks of being the lead singer’s girlfriend,” you smirk with your chin held high.

“Im convinced now that you’re the pop tart thief,” Joe added, thumb and pointer finger fiddling with the tuning pegs on his guitar while standing off to the side. “I know all the little hiding spots on the bus and I haven’t seen any secret stash of pop tarts anywhere,”

“That was completely sus of you to say, now i think it was you!” you pointed.

Stupid moments like this made up for all the times you got annoyed with them. Though you loved them all to death they drove you absolutely insane.

“So where’s your secret stash then?”

“Ill never tell, you thief.”

A pair of arms suddenly came to snake around your waist and pull you further back until a head rest on your shoulder. A very sleepy Wilbur yawned and pressed a tender kiss to your shoulder. You smiled sinking back into your lovers arms and reached your hand up to pet his soft curls. Almost instantly he hummed and it mimicked a cats pur.

“What are you guys arguing about now?” he mumbled against your shirt.

“I wouldn’t say we’re arguing, just pointing blame for whoever stole the last pop tart this morning,” you explain.

“It was probably Ash,” Joe quips. Ash looks offended with his arms raise in confusion.

“Oh no, that was me,” Wilbur states nonchalantly.

“WHAT?!” The group erupted into protests.

“I was hungry,” Wilbur shrugs. “we can afford more guys.”

“very true,” you piped.

“well i guess this solves the great pop tart thief mystery,” Mark shrugs.

“Case closed.” you remark.

Soon the argument dissolved, and everyone spoke amongst themselves. You rocked with Wilbur side to side as you hummed no tune in particular as you leaned against him.

“How was your nap honey?” you asked.

“lonely,” he states. “I missed you,”

Your heart jumps at his sentiment. It had only been a few hours since you both woke up tangled in each other’s limbs, maneuvering out of the small bunk trying not to roll out and fall. Still, you missed him when he wasn’t around too.

“I missed you too,” you brought his hand up to your lips and gave it a kiss before placing it back down against your waist.

“you still wanna go through with tonight?”

You knew what he was referring to. Wilbur had come to you with the idea of you both singing a duet on stage at one of the gigs. At first you weren’t so sure, it was his bands time to shine and you didn’t want to take away from that. You’re the back up singer for Wilbur, you felt out of place trying to share the spotlight. After some convincing; more like brain washing you with his puppy dog eyes, you eventually caved and agreed to do it.

Now that it was so close to the performance, the nerves in your body weren’t going away. You had never really been front and center on stage before. Always in the back round hidden in the stage lights. So the thought of being in-front of a crowd of a thousand people staring at you, probably waiting for you to possibly mess up, was fucking you up in the brain just a bit.

Wilbur could practically feel how tense you suddenly got and perked his head up and looked at your face with a slightly worried expression.

“We don’t have to if you’re not ready darling,”

“No, I’ll be fine,” you shook your head. “I wanna do this with you, It’ll be fun.”

Your smile didn’t seem to convince him. He didn’t want to push you into anything but, he could sense how anxious you had seemed the past couple of days. One word from you and he would cancel the whole show if you asked. which of course was very silly of him.

You were determined to get over this fear and just go with it. With one last final hug you both pulled apart and began getting prepared for the show in an hour.

The show was so explosive. The energy of the crowed was strong tonight, it made your adrenaline buzz with excitement. You had almost completely forgotten about your nerves when you stepped onto that stage.

The band had just finished One Day and cheers and screams rang out through the venue. You watched as Wilbur reached down to grab the towel sat beside his mic stand and whip his brow clean from sweat. He threw the towel back down and leaned into the microphone.

Wilbur had told you after One Day was the time slot you had to sing the duet with him.

“Alright, so we have something special planned,” Wilbur spoke. “I wanna welcome to the front of the stage Y/N, my incredible backing vocalist!”

Cheers rang out for you as you stepped center stage into the light clutching your microphone. You smiled and wave at the crowd shakily, you could practically feel your heartbeat out of your chest.

“Were gonna play a song for you, and I need you guys to sing the lyrics if you know them, and be nice to Y/N, shes super nervous,”

A chorus of ‘awes’ rang out from the crowd and you blushed bashfully as you heard a bunch of various shouts of support.

“Thanks Will,” you playfully roll your eyes at him revealing your secret.

The song you had chosen was Kiss Me by Sixpence Non the Richer, one of your favorites. The opening chords rang out as Joe began the melody. Soon, Mark kicked in the drums and you were bobbing your head to the beat.

You glanced over at Wilbur and saw a smile on his lips as he began playing as well. He looked over at you and saw the panic glossing over your eyes in the light. Somehow it made you forget everything once you connected eyes.

Look at me. he mouthed. just keep your eyes on me.

You took a deep breath and began to sing the lyrics, keeping your eyes locked with Wilbur. Somehow it made you forget everything around you and be in the moment with him.

Kiss me out of the bearded barley

Nightly, beside the green, green grass

Wilbur saw how stiff you were, barely moving your limbs. In an attempt to get you to be more comfortable he moved towards you while continuing to play.

Swing, swing, swing the spinning step

You wear those shoes and I will wear that dress, oh

He leaned forward until he was practically kissing your mic. Shocked at the close proximity you kept your composure as you both sang the chorus of the song in harmony.

Kiss me beneath the milky twilight

Lead me out on the moonlit floor

staring deeply into each others eyes nothing else seemed to matter. The pit in your stomach making your knees weak with the look in his eyes as they flickered down to your own lips as he sang.

You rested your left hand on his bicep, the fabric of his silky black button up grounding you before you got too light headed.

Lift your open hand, strike up the band

And make the fireflies dance, silver moon's sparkling

So kiss me

You broke apart and suddenly felt weightless. You danced around the stage as Wilbur watched you with awe and adoration. Your cheeks were hot feeling his eyes on you the entire time. You sang the next line;

Kiss me down by the broken tree house

Swing me upon its hanging tire

Bring, bring, bring your flowered hat

You moved towards Wilbur and he turned to wiggle his hips to the beat. Trying so hard to hold back a laugh, you copied his movements. You couldn’t wait to see all the videos on your timeline the next day.

leaned against his side and began singing together once more;

We'll take the trail marked on your father's map

Kiss me beneath the milky twilight

Lead me out on the moonlit floor

Lift your open hand, strike up the band

And make the fireflies dance, silver moon's sparkling

So kiss me

You dance around the stage again feeling yourself in the moment as the last notes rang out. You didn’t even process the cheers and screams as you felt a pair of hands cup your cheeks and press their lips against yours.

Your eye’s opened in shock to see Wilbur was the one who pulled you into a kiss. On stage. in front of a whole crowd of his fans. Fuck it, you thought, and melted into his touch. His lips moved against yours softly and you could feel your skin set aflame.

Your arms looped around his middle and pulled him closer to you. Hours could have passed and you could’ve kept kissing him, but eventually you pulled away for the lack of oxygen in your lungs. Chocolate eyes peered down at you with such love you had ever felt. Wide smiles broke the two of you into infectious giggles you could barely hear over the whole crowd of people screaming all around you.

Wilbur took your hand and walked back over to his mic. All your friends were cheering you on as well, Causing you to blush harder at all the attention on you but it didn’t matter anymore.

“Well, that was a heat of the moment sort of thing guys, sorry about that,” his giggle echoing through the venue speakers, everyone ‘wooed’ in response. “Had to take my moment, y’know?”

Wilbur gazed at you out of the corner of his eye to see your bashful state. Squeezing your hand he said one last thing to the crowd before he had to move onto the next song on their line up.

“Everyone please give it up for my beautiful, wonderful, talented, girlfriend!”

You were most certainly redder than a cherry at this point. The crowd was loving every second of it. Hiding your face in Wilbur's shoulder from his side, he kisses your forehead before having to send you back over to your place on stage. You very certain your twitter feed will be insane the next day.

It wasn’t long before the next song started up and you were dancing along with Leandra. Wilbur gave you one final glance behind him and you blew him a kiss to which he beamed at you before he turned forward to continue on with the show.

-

taglist: @trashcanduck @merakiwi @addxms @ax-y10 @scenefaez @joviepog

let me know if you wanna be added or removed! :)

[speakofthedebbie]

by popular demand (re: one person) some radioapple fic recs!! (i hope thats what you meant lol most of the fics i read are just radioapple)

Bedtime Rituals to Try out Before the Next Angelic War by @miribalis

just yes. thousand times yes. so basically my boy luci has some sleep troubles and that somehow leads to a qpr with al look its been a while ok just read it

Managerial Liberties by the same fella

these two tags explain it pretty well

something that sticks out to me about this is that charlie is actually (reasonably) cold to adam and like. im actually surprised with how little ive seen that. i mean i dont think id be exactly buddy-buddy with my besties killer either. only 3 chaps as of writing but already looking to be a radioapple classic

im not sure if its meant to be read as such but it kinda feels like a squeal to bedtime rituals in a way (edit: not meant to be read as such, just the same vibe)

devils don't fly (don't expect me not to fall) by @corgiss

also just yes. basically a really not cool joke evolves into a blossoming romance because why wouldnt it. (man if i had a nickel for every radioapple fic that had a masquerade that was sabotaged by the vees- *gets shot bc i cant mention osas yet*)

i’ll hold you close (i’ll stay the course) by the same fella

the entire time i was just going "yas king! put that egotistical flatscreen in his place!!". basically luci reminds the overlords who he is and vox shows he can be more of a threat than he lets on.

ykw fuck it just the entire series (i didnt mention i would give anything to not give a shit (but i do) and my perfect rock bottom (my beautiful trauma) because the first one sounded a lil too angsty and ive gotten enough of that from other sources [pointedly glares at Quietly, It Slips Through Your Fingers, Love {also coming up later!}] and the second is (mostly) smut and ive been trying to step back from that because "ive seen worse" isnt a valid excuse for that torture actually)

Of Saints and Sinners by the forever amazing @morningstarwrites!! (if you see this i have a serious question: is this your first time ever writing a fic? because how do you get so much right the first time- [not even beginners luck could explain this level of skill])

i could sing its praises until my death bed but ill hold off so i can explain whats happening. basically after burning down a meeting room several times, luci and al make a deal ("not a deal!", luci laments to the void): they will attempt to be civil and maybe even friendly, and by the end luci will owe al a favour. whats the favour? read it yourself dammit! seriously, 10/10, i am foaming at the mouth till friday (depending on how this goes, that might be tomorrow or today)

Quietly, It Slips Through Your Fingers, Love by Starlit_Rainfall (no tumblr in sight, so AO3) (i. urgfgh. what happened. i was just smiling over the fluff while crossing to go to school. where did it go. where did it gooooo)

if thats anything to go by, the last few chapters have been rough. the fluff feels so far away that i cant even explain what happens. luci was waxing poetic about swimming in maple syrup for al, i remember that much. also emily is there (fallen) tho we havent seen her in a sec. if you read it, warning for the gut punch of angst that starts chap 32 "She/Her" (though the chapter before that, "Should Alastor Know By Now?" ends pretty rough too)

Freely We Serve by @romanaxe

i dont remember how i managed to stumble upon this but im having a great time. basically alastor is a new sinner fresh in hell (but time doesnt matter and the whole cast is still here) and thinks "what better way to gain power than be the personal assistant of the heartbroken king of hell!" features a 6(?) year old charlie and a morally dubious lilith (also i loved eepy al X3)

A Family Forged in Hellfire by Green_Ghostwriter (once again, no Tumblr, so AO3)

this ones a bit newer (10 chaps), is so far mostly exposition and the slowburn pot hasnt even been put on the stove, but as just a hazbin fic in general i see the potential. basically its a 1920s au where heaven decides little charlie doesnt deserve to be raised in hell and is sent to earth with a "foster" family where her actions in life will determine witch realm she will return to after death. her "parents", al and minzy, are given false memories so they can claim the girl as their own and gee i wasnt kidding when i said it was a lot of exposition. erm honestly explaining anymore would tech be spoiling so go read it!

The Red Thread That Binds Us by @scun-gilli

{{future me prefacing this by saying i have no idea where i was going with yesterdays thought process, all you need to know from it was im on chapter 27. also scungilli your comment is making me very worried 😟 well theres no mcd tag so im sure itll fine, right? RIGHT, SCUNGILLI??}}

basically its a king x kings guard au where al and luci grow up together and only grow closer after a. certain life event for al (its fine guys trust :)) [she said, like a liar]) then al is sent of for royal guard training school (ik its not called that i forgor 😭) but dw he comes back. just watch out for graphic depictions of injuries (i think thats this fic) angst and a sneaky eve bc radioapple fics are allergic to happiness (or maybe im not looking hard enough lol) (also im really tempted to make the friendship bracelets they had 👀)

somewhere down the line by kj_crwm (AO3 link)

this one starts off as human!alastor/lucifer but by the middle(?) its just regular radioapple. basically al is encountered by luci while finishing off a job who agrees to keep quiet. luci just keeps on showing up, reveals hes the devil to which al us just like "lol ok" and eventually they get in a relationship (ooh lala 👀) but they break up after saying some hurtful things to each other (oh nono 👀) with luci promising al they will never cross paths again. if you watched the show then well. you know that doesnt happen 😂 most human!al radioapple have al summon him (no hate to them) so this was an interesting change of pace

cannot stress it enough but this is a WORKING list i WILL be coming back to it bc these are purely the fics i could think if off the top of my head. IN FACT, if any of you have radioapple fics you love, SEND THEM THE FUCK IN! i am one person whos only been in this fandom for 4 months, and reading fics/shipping radioapple even less, theres bound to be some ones i missed that you think are Worthy™️! and if theyre nsfw then at the very least it shouldnt be the main focus

EDIT: so sorry anyone who reblogged this before had to see the disgusting unedited version. literally just found out that tumblr doesnt apply edits to reblogs. what the fuck

[gamblersdoll]

hey sugar, I just wanted to let you know I love your writings, and that we all appreciate your hard work. I was wondering if you could do a genya nsfw writing of genya, where Genya is a bully (not really more of teasing and being annoying) and reader get fed up with him and dominates him. I hope you had an amazing day (I hope this isn’t too much of a request) love you❤️

hi sweetie, thank you! and i love you 🩶🫶🏾

nsfw, dom!reader, sub! genya, genya is a little shit. orgasm denial, oral, (f) pup play if you wanna call it that? hair pulling.

of course, genya was the annoying bully of the group. he had his own reasons, its not like he was torturing you to death.

well, in a sense he was.

it consisted of him always taking a piece of clothing and slightly yanking it, that gets annoying and old for both you and him. then a little but after, he gets reeeallly close, and just whispers things that he probably wouldnt do.

“you want me bad, dont you, cumbucket?” was one that stood out the most. sometimes you did, most times you didnt. he was just so irritating when he also got really close and put a hand on your bare skin of your thigh, just leaving it there and not paying attention.

today, that changed. you finally had enough of his annoying behavior and decided to see how he liked it.

“he-hey!” he turned red in the face, supporting himself on his arms and looking up to you. “t-this is supposed to be backwards! why the fu–ahah!” he stuttered into a moan, feeling your tender and delicate hands fondle his balls through his boxers.

“i bet it was, gen-ya..” you seductively say, eyes low and pulling his length out of his boxers. “you wanted to play big dog, but you know who is.”

and he damn near choked when you started to slow suckle his tip, feeling it in his tip all the way down to his toes.

“i–i oh god..” he moaned, not realizing his body had gone flat now, hand covering his eyes and shaking. “y-youre gunna make me cum—“ he whines, not daring to look up at you and he feels it coming..

until it didnt.

“h-huh?” he shakily says, looking back to you and seeing youve completely detached yourself from him. “i-i was going to..”

“you think you deserve it after pissin’ me off each day?” you snicker, cooing but mean. “oh, youre a dumb mutt. no, youre going to make me cum. then, ill think about letting you get off.”

a mutt?

..oh, hes back to being rock solid from that. and it makes you giggle.

he crawls out of the bed, getting onto his knees and looking up to your eyes, but also your exposed cunt. your expectant look gives away your mood, and he licks a long stripe up your slit.

“there you go, see? being good now.” you breathe out, biting your lip and gripping his hair. you hear him moan, hands gripping at the fat of your thigh and you look back to him.

“please.. pull harder, make me feel it.” he begged, oh was he trying to be good now?

“this what you want?” you ask, pulling harder until he was slightly raised off his knees. it wasnt enough to pull him up completely. he nods eagerly, suckling on your clit.

“yes maam..” he moans, saliva dribbling out of his mouth and making droplets to the floor.

“fuck, youre going to make me cum.” you breathe out in a snicker, moving his head against your cunt to make a grind out of him. “fuuck!”

his eyes roll back, flattening his tongue to make use of him. he feels your essence drip, drip, drip onto his tongue, the burn of his scalp was all he needed. and he took a hand to his cock to feel something.

you push his head away, pulling your panties up along with your shorts, so he pops the question.

“a..am i able to—“

“hell no, im still pissed at you. gonna have to make it up to me for a long, long time, mutt.”

[kalechipswithasideofkale]

my adrenaline has gone down finally so i feel i can give my thoughts on this season

no more faks! no more! please!

i think the series is taking inspiration from different art movements and genres. season one - surrealism?, season two - modernism?, season three - baroque? im not well versed on this stuff but i definitely noticed they use different forms of art to make the seasons feel different from one another

piggybacking off the earlier bulletin; i think thats also why this season feels like all flash and no substance. whatever movement or era they decided to do with season three is very ou la la oui oui i zam an artist bonjour /nm its very different from the movements they went with in the past seasons. this one feels serious and fancy smancy

i still think they’re going to go through with sydcarmy and this season just solidifies it. syd and carmy are severly mentally ill with issues they need to work out. they dont handle stress and expectations well if at all.

i think some of the things being said by the characters are being taken at face value specifically carmy calling claire peace. i dont think the writers are writing claire to be a source of peace for carmy; hes just so in denial and confused about his emotions he knows he supposed to feel peace from claire but cant figure out why he doesnt

i missed marcus sweeps and tina in this season so much. and syd! i was excited for sweeps to go to wine school only for it to be a one off thing. the tina episode was good but thats the only thing i can think of from the top of my head that she stood out in. marcus’ mom died? but it feels like she didnt die at all? like the weight of his moms death isnt being felt in his character and that made me really sad. i wanted a little more with syd and marcus with their moms :/

im not angry at carmy somehow? i just feel this deep sadness because he is so unlike himself. my initial frustrations with the season made it hard for me to look at his character. now that ive calmed down, he just makes me sad. like thinking about him makes me feel like a wet sausage dude he needs serious help and im scared he’s gonna do something very bad in this next season/part

i was really hoping there would be more parallels between new york carmy and current syd. they might explore it in season 4 and i really hope they do!

where tf was everyone else in the emergency room and why was it the two faks. there is no dissection in the world that will make me okay with those losers being there im sawry

syd being the first person sugar called and claire being the last mhm yup 🙂‍↕️

a good chunk of claire and carmys scenes being muted or cool colors once again!

RICHIE AND HIS DAUGHTER AA!! i wish they had an entire episode dedicated to them theyre so cute!

theres something to be said about loneliness and isolation this season? again i would need to rewatch the season. something something carmy pushing syd away something something nat fearing giving birth because of her mom something something syd having a breakdown and isolating herself from the rest of the fam something something

pete ❤️

chris you have reached ur limit on white male characters enough is enough theres NO MORE ROOM

ngl i actually liked seeing john cena on my screen yall pls

why are we so close to everyones face i zont like zat at all

i thought they were going to bring louis back and got so excited!!! BRING BACK LOUIS

they wrap up the claire storyline by season 4 or part three?? whatever theyre doing idk

LUCA!!!!!!

as much one sided beef i have with jlc she delivered i crode very hard

backseating the characters of color is very lame and bogus! i hated it! what happened to tinas friends she met at school? does ebra not have family? syd and her dad? marcus and his roommate? so many characters they could introduce from sydney marcus tina ebra fuck even angel and manny but they insist on introducing characters that have ties to the berzattos. i hate it! i really do!

syds apartment? where did you go fren….

i wish they were more artsy fartsy with carmys internal struggles give me cringe film student vibes please ill take anything

FUCK CICERO he didnt do anything but PISS ME OFF >:(

why didnt they have syd work out the economics (or whatever tf that computer dude did do). didnt she do something like that in season one? i guess since cicero called him it makes sense

richie and nat are so adorable i love them!!!!

overall pretty mediocre season. it was okay for a show like the bear. i don’t agree with having an entire season dedicated to build up! or atleast in the way they’ve done it in season 3. season 1 was a prologue for the entire show yet it still felt like a complete season. alot of the things that went down in season three either could’ve been compressed into a shorter span of time or they could’ve gotten more episodes (as if its that easy lol but the pacing wouldn’t have suffered as much if the season was longer). um decent season? i dont hate it! i dont love it either. like i said it feels soulless and maybe thats the intention? idk man 😔

i will most definitely be seated for season four TRUST

[mrdixon]

A Rugged Muse | Series masterlist

pairing: eventual daryl dixon x f!reader

series summary: when you're left to fend for yourself in the new apocalyptic world as an artist, you lose all hope. your brother was no where to be found, you were still heartbroken, you were considering giving up. until you came across a ragged archer, who was as equally fragile as you.

general warnings (every chapter will have its warnings): swearing, typical twd, violence, gore (wont be extremely detailed im dumb), mental health mentions, abuse/torture, character deaths.

A/N: hi this is mostly like a test series because im not even sure where im going with this, i just have like so many ideas that are not consistent with each other so ill try my hardest to make this enjoyable. and again im super super super inconsistent so im sorry if i post like thirty chapters and then go AWOL. i really do hope youll enjoy this series!!!

DISCLAIMER: reader is more of an oc so if theres things that she does that do not apply to you im sorry shes so me. this story will take place from s1-??? and its going to follow the main story of twd (mainly... probably...) so heres your warning, SPOILERS !!!!!! im also not naming chapters i have no creative juices for that.

for the sake of having glenn as your older brother im having him be around 24-27 years old right now, you being like 23 ish. and daryl will be like 32….??? i dunno im trying to make this as canon as possible BUT UGH IT IS SO $&£”*^%*£ so yeah there will be a little bit of an age gap between reader and daryl but i hope that wont be too much of a problem for you guys…. probably not. and do not quote me if i get settings or the timeline wrong like twd is confusing enough for me……….. again im also like rewatching and making sure to make everything as close to the show as possible, but theres also the possibility of me altering the timeline (muehehehe).

☆ series masterlist

chapter 1 ♫

chapter 2 ♫

chapter 3 ♫

chapter 4 ♫

[forevers-world]

Happy Jurgen Leitner Death Day!!! THE DAY HAS COME, MY BITCHES 🥳😈💀☠👹👺👻📚📜🪔🍷🍾✨😎

JURGEN LEITNER?

STUPID IDIOT MOTHERFUCKING JURGEIN LEITNER GOD DAMN FOOL BOOK COLLECTING DUST EATING RAT OLD BASTARD SHITHEAD IDIOT AVATAR OF THE WHORE BIGGEST CLOWN IN THE CIRCUS LAUGHED OUT OF TOWN COWBOY MOTHERFUCKING JURGEIN LEITNER

STOP PINNING ME WHEN I TALK ABOUT JURGEIN LEITENER I HATE HIM SO MUCH WHY DOES HE HAVE SO MANY FUCKED UP BOOKS WHY DID HE DECIDE TO FUCK AROUND AND FIND OUT JUST SET THEM LOOSE IS HE DEAD IS HE A BASTARD MAN HAS SUCH A VISCERAL AFFECT ON ME NOT EVEN IN THE ROOM NEVER SEEN THIS MANS FACE AND I KNOW HE HAS THE WORLDS SHITTIEST BEARD GET AWAY FROM ME

if i wanted to get into heaven and god said jurgein leitners waiting inside i would piss on gods feet for the sole purpose of getting sent back down

if i have to deal with jurgein leitner speaking one word in person on voice in podcast not only will i close the tab i will delete my bookmark out of spite and have to rewatch the entire series again for the experience of being able to skip all the times when he is mentioned or alive

i dont even know why i hate him so much. he collects books but i am just mad because i am angy

he better have some fucked up backstory to explain this if hes just some rich shithead whos a fan of creepypasta and wanted the irl version ill go ham

BETTER have had a book make him kill a man cuz if he didnt Im going to make him

paypal.com/IFuckingHateJurgeinLeitner

episodes not even about him. vaguely mentioned what is supposed to maybe be his library and I lost it

where the fuck is jurgein leitner if hes still alive im going to so deeply wish he wasnt

crusty old man

ill punch leitner and his sad frail old man twig bones will simply flake apart under my epic huge meat fist and he will disintegrate until all thats left is one final book he kept on him at all times simply titled Now You Fucked Up in ancient yiddish

im not breathing im hyperventilating at this point

i hope theres a date given for when jurgen died or will die so i can make it a reminder on my phone

everyday once a year i will see it and do anything but pay respects to the man who had so many fucked up if true books

[icrypop]

I am sorry but I can't help but put this here is some flowers 😨😨🥲😔😔😔🌺🌺🌺🌺🌸🌸🌸

Ok so y'know how the whole reading dying for a second time how about we escalate that to FOUR TIMES YES FOURTH TIME🤭 (lol they really gonna have some trauma lol 😋👌) and reader still is able to live but has a hard time trying to cope with it ( poor y/n) but that's nothing for what the Yandere lovesick team is feeling 😭😭😭😭

Just imagine them creating a plan with the parents still freaking out and haveing a mental breakdown for the forth time that day creating a plan that reader should just stay in the graveyard for the rest of the time that their in the phantom realm

And ofc it's the team is yandere because who doesn't love yanderes 🤭😃☺️👌but do what makes you feel comfortable ofc and TAKE YO TIME ❗️❗️❗️❗️

-by ohmydearesthowiluvu72 ☆(≧∀≦*)ﾉ

Poly! Yandere! SBG Gang x reader who dies 4 times

The Gang!

Warnings: Extreme yandere tendencies, possessiveness, manipulation, veiled threats

OOOhhh jeez this wassss a good request! Im so sleepy guys lmao buuuttt im almost through with th requests, then ill make the announcements :') ANywayyy hope this meets expectations!

-Writer Icy<3

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The tension in the air after the fourth time the reader dies is suffocating. Each death shakes the Yandere School Bus Graveyard gang to their core, and with every life-threatening moment, their fear of losing the reader forever becomes unbearable. 

But the fourth time? The reader’s seemingly miraculous ability to cling to life begins to take its toll on both them and the gang. The reader, worn down physically and emotionally, struggles with the trauma of dying again and again. Each time they come back, it’s harder to find peace in the world around them. Sleep is elusive, memories of each near-death weighing heavily on their chest, making it hard to breathe. 

But for the gang? Their love and obsession take a darker turn. Witnessing the reader's deaths leaves them unstable, hearts racing with anxiety and a need to protect. Something in their minds snaps. They can’t let it happen again. They **won’t** let it happen again. 

Yandere Gang’s Reaction After the Fourth Death:

Ashlynn:

Ashlynn’s breakdown is quiet but devastating. She paces back and forth, wringing her hands until her knuckles turn white. Every time she closes her eyes, she can still see the reader’s lifeless body. It's a replay in her head that she can't turn off. She becomes obsessed with the idea that they need to keep the reader isolated, constantly muttering under her breath about ways to keep them safe. 

“Away from everyone… from the danger… no one can hurt them in the graveyard.”

She starts sketching out plans in her notebook, a frantic scrawl detailing how they’ll live in the bus graveyard. “It’s safer there. We’ll make sure they never have to leave. Ever.” Her obsession with protecting the reader takes over every thought, and she clutches her notebook like it’s the key to their survival.

Ashlynn’s hands tremble as she clutches the reader’s face, her eyes wild with desperation. “You can’t leave us again,” she whispers, her voice breaking. “I won’t survive it. None of us will. You belong with us now.”

She presses her forehead to theirs, her breath coming in shallow gasps as tears spill down her cheeks. “We’ll protect you. We’ll keep you safe. No more dying. No more pain.”

---

Tyler:

Tyler is furious—at the Phantom Realm, at the world, at everything that keeps pulling the reader back into danger. His anger is overwhelming, and he spends hours punching the side of the abandoned buses, his fists bleeding. He can’t control the rage he feels for being powerless every time the reader dies. But beneath all the anger, there’s fear. Fear that one day, the reader won’t come back.

“We have to lock them away,” Tyler says, his voice gruff but laced with desperation. “No more risks. No more chances. We keep them with us, where they belong. Forever.”

Tyler is the first to suggest that the reader never leave the bus graveyard. He’s willing to do anything, even if it means confining them. As long as the reader is alive, that’s all that matters.

Tyler pulls the reader close, his grip almost too tight, his chest heaving with barely restrained anger. “I swear, if anything tries to take you from me again, I’ll destroy it,” he growls. “I don’t care what I have to do. You’re staying with us.”

He buries his face in their neck, his lips brushing their skin as he speaks, his voice low and possessive. “You belong to me—to all of us. Don’t even think about leaving again.”

---

Taylor:

Taylor has been crying nonstop since the reader’s fourth death. The fear of losing them has shattered her completely. She can't handle the thought of watching them die again. Her normally confident demeanor is gone, replaced by a fragile, scared version of herself. She clings to the reader, holding them too tightly, not wanting to let go even for a second.

“We need to stay in the graveyard. It’s safe there,” she whispers, her voice shaky. “We’ll make it home. We won’t let anything hurt you again.”

Her possessiveness deepens as she becomes more attached, unwilling to let the reader out of her sight. Taylor's need for control grows stronger, fueled by the fear of ever seeing the reader disappear again.

---

Aiden:

Aiden’s calm, composed facade finally cracks after the fourth time the reader dies. He tries to stay calm and fake a smile, but his hands tremble, and there’s a haunted look in his eyes. “This can’t keep happening,” he murmurs, pacing the floor of the bus. His mind races with thoughts on how to keep the reader safe, and he becomes consumed with the idea of trapping them in the graveyard permanently.

“We can make it comfortable,” he insists to the others. “No more risks. If they stay here, they’ll live. We’ll make sure of it.”

Aiden begins drawing up plans for turning the graveyard into a livable space, obsessively organizing every detail. He’s determined that the reader will never leave again—and he’ll make sure they’re kept safe, no matter the cost.

Aiden’s fingers trace the outline of the reader’s wrist, his touch light but filled with silent possessiveness. “We’re never letting you go,” he murmurs, his eyes dark with unspoken threats. “Not this time. You’re ours now.”

His lips curve into a smile, cold and sharp, as he leans in close. “We’ll keep you safe. No one will take you away from us. Not ever again.”

---

Ben:

Ben’s response is chillingly silent. He hasn’t spoken much since the fourth time the reader died, his mind spinning with dark thoughts. Ben’s anger has always simmered beneath the surface, but now it’s boiling over. He’s not just angry at anyone who looks at the reader—he’s angry at the world itself for trying to take them away.

“We’ll keep them hidden,” Ben finally says, his voice eerily calm and out of earshot.

His possessiveness intensifies as he starts planning how to keep the reader hidden from the world. Ben is the one who suggests using the bus graveyard as a permanent home, a place where the reader will never be in danger again—and no one will ever find them.

---

Logan:

Logan’s reaction is all-consuming guilt. Each time the reader dies, it feels like a piece of him dies with them. He believes that if he were stronger, faster, smarter, he could have prevented it. Now, his guilt mixes with desperation. He’s the one who suggests that they don’t just live in the graveyard—they trick the reader into staying on one of the buses.

“No one will find them there,” Logan says, his voice shaking. “We can seal it off. They’ll be safe. We can protect them.”

Logan’s willingness to imprison the reader comes from a place of overwhelming fear. He’s terrified that the next time they die, it will be for real. And he can’t live in a world without them.

---

The Plan:

The gang agrees unanimously that the reader must be kept in the bus graveyard, away from the dangers of the Phantom Realm and the real world. They can’t risk losing the reader again. They become obsessed with transforming the graveyard into a permanent home, where the reader can live in isolation with them.

Each member of the gang takes on a different role—Aiden and Ashlynn make the plans, Tyler and Ben handle the physical labor, and Taylor and Logan ensure that the reader never tries to leave. Every time the reader expresses discomfort or fear, they’re met with soft reassurances and veiled threats. 

“This is for your own good,” they all say, their voices filled with devotion. “We won’t let anything happen to you again. You’re safe now.”

The reader’s trauma from dying multiple times only makes them more vulnerable, and the gang takes advantage of that vulnerability, keeping them close at all times. They’ve already lost the reader too many times—they won’t let it happen again.

Ever.

[thephilosophersapprentice]

TARAVANGIAN?

STUPID IDIOT MOTHERFUCKING TARAVANGIAN

ADONALSIUM DAMN FOOL DEATH RATTLE COLLECTING DUST EATING RAT OLD BASTARD SHITHEAD IDIOT VESSEL OF THE WHORE

BIGGEST CLOWN IN THE CIRCUS LAUGHED OUT OF TOWN CHULLBOY MOTHERFUCKING TARAVANGIAN

STOP PINNING ME WHEN I TALK ABOUT TARAVANGIAN I HATE HIM SO MUCH WHY DOES HE HAVE SO MANY FUCKED UP PLOTS WHY DID HE DECIDE TO FUCK AROUND AND FIND OUT JUST SET THEM LOOSE

IS HE DEAD IS HE A BASTARD MAN HAS SUCH A VISCERAL AFFECT ON ME NOT EVEN IN THE ROOM NEVER SEEN THIS MANS FACE AND I KNOW HE HAS THE WORLDS SHITTIEST BEARD GET AWAY FROM ME

if i wanted to get into the tranquiline halls and honor said taravangians waiting inside i would piss on honors feet for the sole purpose of getting sent back down

if i have to deal with taravangian speaking one word in person on voice in book not only will i close the book i will throw my bookmark across the room out of spite and have to reread the entire series again for the experience of being able to skip all the times when he is mentioned or alive

i dont even know why i hate him so much. he collects death rattles and draws on walls but i am just mad because i am angy

he better have some fucked up backstory to explain this if hes just some rich shithead whos a fan of political dramas and wanted the irl version ill go ham

BETTER have had a unmade make him kill a man cuz if he didnt Im going to make him

paypal.com/IFuckingHateTaravangian

books not even about him. vaguely mentioned what is supposed to maybe be his palanaeum and I lost it

where the fuck is taravangian if hes still alive im going to so deeply wish he wasnt

crusty old man

ill punch taravangian and his sad frail old man twig bones will simply flake apart under my epic huge meat fist and he will disintegrate until all thats left is one final copy of the diagram he kept on him at all times simply titled Now You Fucked Up in ancient dawnchant

im not breathing im hyperventilating at this point

i hope theres a date given for when taravangian died or will die so i can make it a reminder on my phone

everyday once a year i will see it and do anything but pay respects to the man who had so many fucked up if true plots

Special thanks to https://jurgen-leitner-rant.neocities.org/!

[lappel-du-vide83]

You know when brains merge together stuff you know like ooh this is cool let me add it to my obssession

Yeah so have og cale and asoue TOGETHER

Okay so obvious parallels first: the three siblings. The henituse county might have fallen during the battle but doesn't mean they had to die then and there. If i may be so mean, the siblings died one by one with ogcale the last one standing.

The extended family members are already presented in the story as douchebags so why not make it one step further and make them secretly work for the white star?

So it goes, once the henituse county fell, without Deruth and Violan to take charge, the reconstriction is delegated to an extended family member but with none of the existing family members willing to take on this burden in times of unrest, they come across a thames willing to take over who is very eager andhella suspicious (the evil uncle if you will) (also i have yet to read past like chapter 200 in part 2 of tcf so the hunter lore WILL be headcannon). And surprise, surprise, he wants the henituse fortune. (the want for money runs in the family) So begins the torment as the siblings protect eachother and try to find a way out. They finally manage to convince someone from deruths side to take them in, finally escaping his clutches.

Thus begins the hunt.

The uncle starts killing every new guardian they get and they try explaining that this mysterious uncle that is not one record wants then either dead or in his clutches but no one will listen to them. They get called the bearers of misfortune that will kill anyone that cares for them and why would anyone believe them? One's trash and the other two aren't even adults.

Bonus points if, like i said earlier, if they were working for the white star, the very bane of their existance and the reason why their family is dead. Because yes, how awful, but they were still better than living under that guy and there's this guilty conflict of emotions.

Now unfortunately, canon dictates (wait does it tho im not actually sure) that i must kill off the siblings so it happens as freak accidents--unexpected and something that couldnt be prepared for. They were already living on the edge but then something slips past (more pain of its a betrayal) and (e.g) basen dies. And it slowly consumes the other two because they couldnt protect him because why was it him it should have been me.

And then its lily. She dies honourably in battle because she wouldn't have it any other way but it ruins cale because what if he's the reason everyone he loves is dying?(i stand by the parallels in ogcale and krs life) He's literally been the centre of it--the only one connecting these deaths.

There's no one else for him to blame and take the anger out on because i think the uncle would die tragically and in vain too(cant believe he spent part of his life hunting down kids) and now there's nothing tying cale down except his obsession to kill the white star anddd we come to the part where he signs up for the final battle and dies.

In the middle, i think it will be cool if he encouters the hunters and theyre like the vfd. They keep seeing references to it everywhere and meet members that either want to help or kill them but never get a concrete answer for who they are and everytime they get close to finding out the truth something stops them (or just cale trying to find out who the FRICK his mom was being affiliated with for them to cause mass destruction so easily)

And just like asoue we get an ambiguous ending. Is he happy? Is he not? Who knows--not the readers! But we can imagine he is for our mental health.

Dang the angst is strong but i think it gives way for more thames lore and sibling shenanigans and, well, more angst and this was run on 11pm hyperfixation so ill add more if i can think of it. Hope you enjoyed reading! Also lemme know if you can think of more i would love to read it

[moonlight-sonata99]

Sunshine

Crosshair x F!Reader

Warnings: Mentions of torture, nightmares and sex and Reader is referred to as Her/she

A/n: this is for @masterjedilenawrites !!!❤️❤️❤️ for the @cloneficgiftexchange !!! I loved writing this and I hope you love it as much as I do❤️

“..sshair!”

“Crosshair!” Her voice cut through the blaring sirens and he felt her hand supporting his head up and she looked at him, He opened his eyes slowly at her voice. Her red eyes which had tears threatening to spill stared into his as she smiled with a sigh of relief.

“Thank the maker!” she exclaimed lifting him up softly, “Can you hear me?” she asked through the sirens and he only nodded covering his eyes.

“wrecker , carry crosshair! We need to get him out of here asap” she stated looking at wrecker as he nodded walking over to crosshair who was still recovering from sleep and pain he had endured. Upon being lifted up She only patted crosshairs back.

“Sorry sunshine, just hold on until we get out of here okay?” She said with a reassuring smiled as she grabbed her blaster, and walked out from behind wrecker and began to search the area for any stormtroopers,

“Wrecker, did Hunter tell you where he is yet?” She asked staying alert,

‘Not yet!” wrecker said, holding one blaster in his hand as he looked.

She placed a hand on her comm and spoke into it

“Hunter come in, where is your location we found crosshair”

It was a brief second before hunter voice

“Were near the hangars, ill go meet up with you. Echo, Techprotect the ship!” he ordered before the com cut off

‘Alright- let's go meet him halfway then.”

After the rescue she laid crosshair down one of the barracks and wiped smudges of blood on him off, her eyes only examined him with a tinge of sadness.

“What did they do to you…?” she whispered as she rubbed a cloth on the top of his eyebrow, he only gazed at her wondering if this was all a dream and he was still on that experiment table being tortured. They stayed in silence for a bit and the only thing that filled the air was their breaths and the sound the gangs voiced in the distance. They had come to see him a while ago, but She mentioned that it might be best to not surround him at the moment. He closed his eyes once again, relieved at the sound of his brother's voices.

“Crosshair, sit! You need to be resting.” she ordered placing a hand on his shoulder and setting him down back on the bed. They were back on pabu and there it seems he was getting better by the day, whatever it was she was just glad to see the man she loved getting better.

He only sighed and looked over the night stand that contained the half eaten food he had left from before,

“Want me to reheat that?” she asked, sitting down on the ledge of his bed and placing a hand down.

“No,”

She examined him for a moment, Crosshair had been getting better. That is true. But..she feared that whatever the doctor did to him had changed him. More than she had thought. Ever since he had gotten better enough all he had said was ‘no’ and ‘yes' it worried her. Maybe he needed a few more days, she thought, and then he will say more. Hopefully.

Waiting paid off, as the days passed he began to talk more to his brothers and omega who was worried to death for him, and even her. She was lucky enough that he let her sleep next to him, though at night she woke up to him whimpering in fear.they were always quiet but she always managed to hear them in time to wake him up. She shook him softly,

She whispered, “‘Crosshair…wake up..” as she shook his shoulders softly, crosshair only shook in his sleep, but then his eyes opened quickly as his chest rose up and down quickly.She whispered to him “Its okay…your okay.” he turned to look at her as his heart beat fast. They sat in bed for a while as he caught his breath and he calmed.

“You okay?” she asked once more as he turned to look at her,

“Yes, im…alright.” he mumbled out and looked down at his hands. She slid her hand on top of his,

“You're safe now, cross.” she assured him, looking at him only the light glowed against his face,

“I know,”

“Wanna try going back to sleep?” she asked as he looked back at her and nodded,

Instead of going back into his place in the bed, crosshair only leaned into her, placing his head on her chest. She gasped a little not being used to crosshair being cuddly, sure they were a couple for a while. But rarely did he initiate this, it was usually the other way around, but it was accepted nonetheless. She only smiled and put a hand on his shoulder and held him close.

He laid there for a while, but she sensed that he was still awake.

"Shall I sing you a song sunshine?" She playfully asked, looking into the darkness of the room and listening to the waves that could be heard in the distance. He stayed quiet for a moment,

"Can you?" He asked softly against her chest,

Her eyes widened, nit realky expecting him to say yes. "Of course, I can," She chuckled, with a small smile.

She sat a bit thinking of a song. And her eyes brightened when she decided on which.

"The other night dear

As I lay sleeping,

I dreamed I held you

In my arms"

The words that left her mouth as she song reminded her of the time she left him behind at the time at kamino. Although she knew he made his choice, it still felt like…maybe if she didn't,none of this could have happened.

"When I woke dear,

I was mistaken

So I bowed my head

And I cried"

'All that time' she thought, 'all that time we were having fun here he was…'

"You are my sunshine,

My only sunshine…

You make me happy

When skies are gray"

'Stop that' she scolded herself as she sang, 'he's here now, that's all that matters.' She looked down at his head that rested against her and looked at the scar, but she shook her head slightly trying to forget those thoughts. She only imagined good thoughts, such as crosshair eating with his brothers. Getting to know omega, and watching the sunset together....

She looked at his hands that rested on her thighs, his hands were rough and calloused, yet they were the hands that held her own as they made love. The hands that held hers when he was scared after a nightemare,Him who lay here now, away from harm. And slept peacefully. Her vision began to blur, not of sadness but of happiness.

"You'll never know dear

How much I love you

Please don't take my sunshine away…"

[im-tempted]

JURGEN LEITNER?

STUPID IDIOT MOTHERFUCKING JURGEN LEITENER GOD DAMN FOOL BOOK COLLECTING DUST EATING RAT OLD BASTARD SHITHEAD IDIOT AVATAR OF THE WHORE BIGGEST CLOWN IN THE CIRCUS LAUGHED OUT OF TOWN COWBOY MOTHERFUCKING JURGEIN LEITNER. STOP PINNING ME WHEN I TALK ABOUT JURGEIN LEITENER I HATE HIM SO MUCH WHY DOES HE HAVE SO MANY FUCKED UP BOOKS WHY DID HE DECIDE TO FUCK AROUND AND FIND OUT JUST SET THEM LOOSE IS HE DEAD IS HE A BASTARD MAN HAS SUCH A VISCERAL AFFECT ON ME NOT EVEN IN THE ROOM NEVER SEEN THIS MANS FACE AND I KNOW HE HAS THE WORLDS SHITTIEST BEARD GET AWAY FROM ME.

if i wanted to get into heaven and god said jurgein leitners waiting inside i would piss on gods feet for the sole purpose of getting sent back down. if i have to deal with jurgein leitner speaking one word in person on voice in podcast not only will i close the tab i will delete my bookmark out of spite and have to rewatch the entire series again for the experience of being able to skip all the times when he is mentioned or alive. i dont even know why i hate him so much. he collects books but i am just mad because i am ANGY. he better have some fucked up backstory to explain this if hes just some rich shithead whos a fan of creepypasta and wanted the irl version ill go ham. BETTER have had a book make him kill a man cuz if he didnt Im going to make him.

paypal.com/IFuckingHateJurgeinLeitner

episode's not even about him. vaguely mentioned what is supposed to maybe be his library and I lost it. where the fuck is jurgein leitner if hes still alive im going to so deeply wish he wasnt.

crusty old man. ill punch leitner and his sad frail old man twig bones will simply flake apart under my epic huge meat fist and he will disintegrate until all thats left is one final book he kept on him at all times simply titled Now You Fucked Up in ancient yiddish. im not breathing im hyperventilating at this point. i hope theres a date given for when jurgen died or will die so i can make it a reminder on my phone, and everyday once a year i will see it and do anything but pay respects to the man who had so many fucked up if true books

The anniversary of his death is actually soon

16th of February he'll have been dead for seven whole years