#and now im just dumping
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Guess who has been rewatching iasip...
#it me. i have been rewatching it! (pointing at myself)#macdennis#iasip#macden#dennis reynolds#mac mcdonald#it's always sunny in philadelphia#girl help lol#i always loved the way they love (violently. obsessively. with hatred and desperation)#is iasip comparable to no exit by jean-paul sarte. discuss#sorry its so weird i usually only reference iasip with jokes. now im here. drawing art#they are hard to draw btw. i just dump all of the doodles at once like usual. mayhaps i'll even upload it to the drive
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#sir crocodile#dracule mihawk#buggy the clown#cross guild#my art#one piece#crochawk#dump of dumb stuff#i was looking at the old patrick bateman mihawk and ended up drawing axe wielding mihawk again#idk why#im just anxiety coping drawing#i wasnt going to post this but i forgot i scheduled it... omg#anyway im trying to be more free with drawing now and not caring so much#more like how i drew 2-3 yrs ago#if its weird and ugly then its weird and ugly#i also want to draw blackbeard but hes so hard to draw this way. still trying to figure it out#also please imagine crocodile standing with axehawk. i desperately wanted to draw crocodile with him but didnt#theyre axe murdering couple in crime#i took the last ones outfit from the shining#i try to draw lineart directly without a rough sketch stage. its sort of meditative#i'm gonna axe you one last time...
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Thinking about the fact that Mabel and Dipper didn't know they had two great uncles.
Yeah they are 12 and at 12 I had a shotty understanding of my family tree- But really? Nobody brought up their great uncle? Stanley? Especially since they'll be staying with his twin brother, Stanford?
Shermie never went to Stan's fake funeral, which to me means the twos relationship was strained on some level. If Shermie is older that means his view of Stan was poisoned in some way, that even as kids they weren't close. If the Shermie is younger then he never even got to meet Stan and all he knew about him was how he failed his family. Hell, people probably barely mentioned Stanley TO Shermie.
The fact that Stan had become a black stain upon the Pines family name makes me so vividly upset. Stanley faked his death and the family just- seemingly decided to strike him from the record. To pretend he didn't existed to spare themselves the sadness and shame.
Stanford and Shermie Pines. The only children worth mentioning of Filbrick and Caryn Pines.
It was never Stanford that was lost to the world. It was Stanley, ever since he had to leave New Jersy- it was always him that had to be struck from the record. Change his name, change his state, change his affiliations, destroy the remains of ghost that was Stanley Pines. Kill him so the family doesn't bring him up, doesn't ask questions, stops asking "Stanford" about his twin.
I just keep thinking about the fact that since the day he made one single mistake all the way up until Ford walks out of that machine- Stanley Pines was killed and did not exist. And Stan himself had no one to blame, he had to play the part in his own demise- He is the only one who ever knew Stanley was alive and has been for decades.
He lives in the multitudes of every personality he's ever taken, all in the hope that he himself can stop being Stanley Pines.
#gravity falls#grunkle stan#stanley pines#STANLEYYYYYY#STANLEY THEY COULD NEVER MAKE ME HATE YOU STANLEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#sharky rants#Just. Imagine the fucking shame you have to live with#the shame that you can never be yourself. That anything you were is unwanted and forgotten#The shame of just BEING- Of taking space of- of /breathing-/#Imagine the world; your friend; your family; your colleagues being so ashamed of having known you#that you feel more comfortable with a persona to present.#You feel more comfortable stealing the identity of someone you care for deeply if only to help#If only to feel capable for once. To feel like you belong- Like youre doing something good for once#Imagine the shame that brings you to be comfortable not being yourself for 40 years.#ALL CASE YOU BROKE ONE FUCKING PROJECT??????? COME ON#I mean- the deeprooted shame was started from earlier. He was 'the stupid twin“; 'the troublemaker”; “the cheat and thief”#This was a long time coming#But those werent MISTAKES- The one time he genuinely made a Mistake he lost everything#Like he really mattered so little to the people around him#and he cant really blame them.#My cousin is a genius. Hes smart and academically achieved since I was a baby.#The only thing I had that he didnt was my ability to draw. to be creative. The guy for the longest time had a better social life then me too#I used to get brought to tears seeing his accomplishments- seeing people praise him. The shame lived in me any time I had to see him#The shame that I was the black sheep of the family next to the golden standard for a son- for a student- for a friend.#when I was none of those things#And Im lucky he was my cousin- cause if he was my brother that would have haunted me EVERY DAY rather then once or twice a year#Im better with it now; Im more content with who I am- But trauma dump aside-#I very very very much understand Stans shame in being the stupid one. The unachieved one in a family full of achieved people#the shame thats angry at him for being better. at the family for treating him special. and most of all at yourself that you cant be better#its a visceral feeling that I sadly understand
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Do yourself a favor and go read the entire fanfic work of @fanfoolishness
(In order: Under sun and shade, Blind Side, and Breathless (patching up is one of my fav too, I just had no cool sketch idea for it)
#star wars#star wars the bad batch#the bad batch fanart#tbb fanart#tbb fanfiction#dumping my “fanfic_doodles.clip” file here literally#sorry the style is messy#now I see them all Im like “ok it's all over the place zero/100 aesthetically pleasuring post”#hhhh its the thought that counts?#And tbh the point is just to convince you to read theses#because I'm like OBSSEEESSED with theses since you appeared in my notes#Every fic is gold#Me baiting my followers with pretty enough pictures to read fanfics#this being said I should really take the time to color properly my stuff#but I don't liiiiiiiiike it#there is tons of more talented artists if people want colored beautiful amazing art#me I can't really make my “”“spontaneous”“” “”“doodles”“” pretty without trying hard and at the end it's meh#They're so flat too#yesterday I was like “oh my scenes are becoming less flat I improved maybe”#Then I scrolled on my storyboard insta and was like#yeah sure no#I'm still faaaaaar away from the industry standards#I studied like at three arts school and I'm still bad at drawing TAT#why is my brain not working v_v#look brain I'm showing you nice pictures learn from them#brain: no Im gonna overfixate on this left hand here and only this#anyway
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played the space train anime game . guess who i fixated on
#sampo koski#honkai star rail#star rail fanart#my art dump#wow i hate all their clothes why r they so hard to draw#HE'S SO [incomprehensible hand gestures]#pathetic and silly and highly suspicious. My god#i hesitate to say evil bc i just dont know !! bro is speaking lies !!#im kind of obsessed with him highkey#also LMAO im trying to get back into the vibe for drawing so bad its so bad for me rn#now i have a game to hyperfixate on too. Will i never function properly again#im FINISHING THINGS . he cant keep doing this to me
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‘tied by blood and yet, you are my greatest nemesis…’
#the valentinos#yall these actually. an old pics like. dang.#yall imagine these pics from last year. like I was at my peak w/o editing LIKE I WAS HAVING FUN AINT WASTIN TIME#this just teases cuz imma just dump them all on october IDC I LOVE THWEMMMM#if yall curious abt them I did have a three years ago a vampire family#and oooh boy they are evil. VERY evil#maybe only adam & vlad are not#the father name is vlad but trust he is not the famous vladdy daddy. there is lore behind it hehe#ahahahsh#bro just watch me dump all their pics here. ITS ALOT.#like literally I wont even care if nobody seen it I WILL PUBLISH THEIR PICS THEY HAVE TO PRINT WORLD W THEIR TOUCH#and im surprised the pics were nice? I didnt use SRWE that time only gshade and I was having fun#now look at me crying over SRWE because I relied on it too much. literally I got spoiled by its service#rip. I dont even plan to fix my SWRE if it WONT EVER open w gshade anymore#soo yeah. yapping#rando flovoid shit#thorn valentino#vladamir valentino#dawn gaffney#luther valentino#lilith valentino#ts4#sims 4#simblr#ts4 vampires
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In your fem!trek, do Jim's boobs still get cameos every other episode? If not, is there an alternative?
hmmmmm.
honestly i have no qualms against going yeah, totally (because, well. 23rd century, after all.) but then again variety is the spice of life and there is just something about underboob and a glimpse of that abdomen that hits SO hard. so i guess f!kirk utilizes this particular... diplomatic strategy constantly loll
also i saw the note you left about f!scotty (saaaame lmao <3333) and let's just say most of the enterprise crew shares the sentiment xDD:
#star trek#star trek fanart#star trek tos#star trek the original series#mcspirk#mcspirk fanart#spirk#spirk fanart#scones fanart#bones x scotty#how do you even tag for a ship when the ship name is a mundane object 😭😭 im so fond of them but rippp#scones star trek#spock#jim kirk#fem!trek au#leonard mccoy#bones mccoy#montgomery scott#mckirk#im an enterprise polycule truther 🙏🏼🙏🏼 i dunno but i just love when people like each other so much#but i am SO enamored with scotty yknow fem or otherwise. Like. those eyes..... that smile......... he's so nice too like HELLO#star trek meme#fundamentally drawing fem!trek feels exactly the same as normal trek so i think that means im doing something right#dust trek aus#NOW IM THINKING ABT SPOTTY (?? is that the ship name helpp). that dynamic fascinates me too.#i have a feeling lots of enterprise polycule fanart is gonna be in my near future#oh ......#sapphics#look my profile says self indulgent work dump for a reason skdhdkd#mccoy x scotty
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Hm... I'm feeling benevolent...
#every time i use the word 'benevolent' i remember that guy who called me 'sensei'???#because he asked me for a crit and i was basically like 'i really dont like your comic' but obviously constructively#and then he kept messaging me asking for more critique and i had to tell him to stop#and then he made a video review of my last comic and the whole review was like#'yeah so i havent really read this comic. looks pretty sick though. i basically harassed her and she had to say to stop lol'#anyways. that was weird. he used the word benevolent a lot so i always think of him. sending good vibes hope hes still making comics#oh yeah also this is kind of spoilers but not really#sorta like afterword stuff#gotta sketch gotta get into the mindset...#im not sure if that counts as spoilers at all lmfao its just minor design changes#anyways.#time and time again#spoilers#what the hell i typed 'spoilers' and '911 spoilers' was the first option??????#uh#adam and steve#ttawebcomic#sketches#sketch dump#these used to be patreon posts but its been like 5 months so. theyre free noe#the word 'benevolent' is literally an inside joke with myself now LOL
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Sonic Prime | 3x06
#sonic prime#sonic the hedgehog#shadow the hedgehog#sonicedit#sonicprimeedit#emma gifs#mein#on reflection i did not like this season.#and mainly because they just dumped shadow in a hole and were like ha he couldnt get out!! but now sonics here its fine he can just run out#they didnt know ?? how to make it feasible. honestly having shadow as nines prisoner would have been so much better#i have thoughts im sorry
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stacy is sooo interesting because she's in love with house but knows that they will never ever be able to have a healthy, stable, sane relationship because they're too similar so. she finds house-lite instead and marries him and. essentially moves on with her life! and is successful in this because she's a moderately well-adjusted person!
wilson, in contrast, never manages to escape the inevitable, in spite of his best efforts to find a house-lite of his very own, because he's an absolute fucking freak and ends up glued to house to the bitter. bitter end
#yeah im too sleepy to revise this. UNFILTERED posting wooahh#some may b shocked but i do actually read thru most of my posts several times to make sure i didnt accidentally write mein kampfe 2#recently ive come to the realization that i am in fact not an incredibly chill person#and that the constant paranoia and fear in which i live my life is actually PROBABLY a symptom of severe anxiety#like damn. ive always known that im pretty prone to depression but ive preetty much always been aware of that#my mom is a chronic depressive so i know the symptoms i know the signs i have a pretty good arsenal of healthy coping mechanisms#UNFORTUNATELY mommy's mental health problems did not help her not abuse me as a child#so i ended up being a terribly anxious kid who was constantly being screamed at and told i was overreacting (because i was. because i had#a severe anxiety problem that was making me react irrationally.) to everything all the time#which is you know. it is VERY difficult to deal with a mental health problem when you arent aware you have a problem!#its incredible how much. better. my life has gotten since i figured this out and started actively trying to work out what triggers it#and being able to like. realize 'oookay. there is an Issue here and it needs to be overcome'#instead of just beating on myself constantly for not being able to do things without feeling sick or getting breathing problems!#anyways. trauma dumping in tags is over now!#house md#hilson#greg house#james wilson#stacy warner
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sketch dump but its all mochi and lime
#the cat witchs guild#the misc adventures of mochi and lime#tcwg#tmaomal#mochi#lime#limochi#art#ocs#original#sketch dumps#i saw a video on ig where she talked about how its good to draw on paper with pen#cuz you cant erase so you cant obsess over fixing mistakes you just draw it again or move on#and it helps you improve#so im doing that now#dumb little doodles everyday#me: this is a good time to draw beta ideas and character designs#also me: draws mochi and lime for the 5000000th time
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I started doodling greek gods, it's over for me. I have to accept that I'm officially addicted to epic the musical
#doodle dump#epic the musical#athena#4 years.... 4 years only doodling random stfuff#now look at me drawing again#this one is only sketch BUT I'M ACTUALLY TRYING TO WORK ON SOMETHING???#2019 dorothy is back lord have mercy on me#going back to drawing made me remember how much I hate painting#Im working on something that look almost exactly as I pictured BUT I CANT PAINT FOR SHIT#I just know the second i put some colors it will ruin the drawing#maybe I should turn all my works on coloring book typa shit so other people can paint for me lol#went in a long rant about something unrelated to the doodle aint that amazing#btw this is my first time drawing an owl and im actually proud#(also unrelated but GOD have i missed posting random shit and then going onto long rants on the tags)#back to epic the musical: sometimes I'll be listening to some song and just think “wow i could do a funny comic about this-”#LIKE HOW TF AM I BACK TO THIS?? ITS HAMILTON ALL OVER AGAIN I NEED REHAB CALL THE POLICE CALL THE CHURCH CALL MY THERAPIST
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waiting for marvel to take you up as their comic artist so that we can have amazing art with cherik official storyline
marvel hire me to draw professor x and magneto making out sloppy style for forty issues straight you will get a BAJILLION dollars i promise
#fave#snap chats#'professor x' what are you a cop. moving on#vjeLKVJEALKV thank you much my friend one can only dream .....#you know whats so funny tho this just reminds me how like. My Number One Cheerleader was my highschool english teacher#she also ran the comic club in case thats relevant. because i was a part of that club OBVIOUSLY#i used to want to be a comic book artist but now i dont but anyway as a part of this club we'd have to draw comics sometimes#and alllll the time my teach would be so happy to get my stuff and she'd always be like#'[Snap] please promise me you'll never give up comics i want to read a comic from you one day' and stuff like that#i think id throw up laughing if i got to email her one day like 'omg hey teach 1.) im not a moody teenager anymore#2.) i got to work for marvel check it out <3' and i have to send her old man yaoi JLVKEJLKAEVJE#FUNNIEST TIMELINE IN THE WORLD I'D ACTUALLY DIE LIKE PLEAAAASSEE THATS ALL I COULD EVER WANT IN LIFE#on the realest note tho i didnt appreciate her enthusiasm enough. i wish i could tell her thank you someday#i think of her a lot whenever im in the dumps about my work she really is one of my biggest motivators#like i guess i COULD just shoot an email. maybe if i actually do something cool with comics or something#i dont even know if she remembers me so it'd just be bizarre wouldnt it#ANYWAYS. sappy story time's over theres a matcha crepe cake with my name on it BYYYYYEEEEE
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L'APPEL DU VIDE
okay so. jack! jack. what a collection of guys. the overlap between jack and the beanstalk and jack the giant killer, though. that sure is something! sometimes king arthur is there, which always takes me by surprise.
this. specifically. is an idea I've been kicking around. jack and the beanstalk is not a story I've ever enjoyed, as a kid it was probably my least favorite to read. as an adult, I was INTENSELY fascinated by reading j.g. ballard's the drowned giant. I think about it frequently, and somewhere during a re read of it, I ended up revisiting jack.
combining different versions of jack into one character is not a new concept, but it IS a fun one! the version I've been assembling together plays less with the fun elements of a jack story (and adjacent folklore stories), and focuses more on the potential for tragic elements with the addition of the usual grim and jagged narrative edges that I personally enjoy.
jack with the backstory of the devil and the three golden hairs, only jack doesn't find love, he's TIRED, all he wants to do is go home, but there isn't a home to go back to. what is the point of being born lucky if this is what it gets you? jack the giant killer, only he doesn't want to kill giants, jack who saw a body of a giant when he was a small child and cannot bring himself to do as a king commands. jack, who climbs up the beanstalk and stops halfway to look down. etc.
to go back to the drowned giant real quick, both to set the tone about jack seeing the body of a giant as a youth, and also because I've been haunted and obsessed with this excerpt of it ever since I read it:
J. G. Ballard, The Drowned Giant
anyway! this was originally like, a two illustration concept to get out of my system. however. I'm halfway through outlining a narrative. so. maybe it will also be several illustrations and also comic.
#original tag#generic medieval tag#WAHOO. alright.#i dont have any additional commentary in the tags. reading the drowned giant years ago Did Something To Me#and it connected with whatever it was that made me dislike the jack and the beanstalk narrative (i know what it is. its just not really#all that relevant to this post. also im tired. its time for bed)#through the power of Why Not. i will now. turn it into a story????#i think. its definitely been taking up a lot of space in my mind lately#the only thing stopping me from turning it into my Side Project to do when i need a break from doing Bad Governance edits#is that. ive run out of notebooks???? to start a new story in. and i am Old and i only outline stuff by hand#eventually i'll get to daiso and pick up some new ones and work on this for real. until then. im going to continue to write about it#in my personal journal where i dump all my thoughts and ideas into
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didnt have anything to watch so i clicked on a video of a breath of wild concert
and with the second track an immense feeling of sadness washed over me, i miss botw so much, it used to be my comfort game and i spent alot of hours thinking about its mysteries and the strange feeling the world gave me, it was the only game i ever felt like the world was alive somehow, mostly in its environment really, there wasnt a huge epic tune blasting off your ears at all times, just a bit of subtle ambiance and not even that always, the way it just kind of seemed to exist was so special to me
and totk broke that. i know i spent many posts ranting about how much i think that game fumbles everything, but this is certainly a reason why i hate it so much on a personal level too
the world doesnt feel alive to me anymore, it feels fake and meaningless, i know now none of the things i thought meant soemthing, implied something or hid something actually .. meant anything- they are either just as static as in botw, were erased or hijacked for something that clearly never belonged there
its lost its magic. no amount of pretending totk didnt exist will reignite that .. maybe its silly to feel that strongly about these games, maybe its influenced by botw being released when my mental health was around its worst its ever been, but i was still able to feel that magic even after it got better, and now its not there anymore
i miss botw.
#ganondoodles talks#zelda#personal#the kakariko theme started now#im fighting with tears#i loved that world so much#and totk just feels like it was toyed with and altered like some nightmare retread that you feel in your bones isnt right#them being lumped together at all times hurts me personally#that world i loved so much getting some toys dumped into made it feel so fake#driving around on a clunkily built shitty half modern car thing just doesnt feel right#building stupid contraptions to torture monsters and NPCs ... its weird and uncomforatble to me#it feels ..... disrespectful#“its just a game looool”#i know.
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My oc again rrrrrr BUTTTT work fit..
yeah
He is a professor that teaches human English to the monsters 😵 BUUT also!! He! Invents stuff in a workshop inside grennitch’s island head (WHIICH ACTUALLY THIS IDEA PRE DATED ETHEREAL WORKSHOP so flex)
#my singing monsters#msm#msm oc#wubbox#wubbox oc#epic wubbox#plant island epic wubbox#This is an art reupload from a while back so now that I’m using tumblr I will just dump sm art im proud of here I Guess..
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