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#and now i'm on the verge of a panic attack
altair214 · 2 years
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collophora · 4 months
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TBB cadets ideas
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heyitslapis · 16 days
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Ok
#kinda vent post cause ive been anxious ever since we got coffee this evening#I promise I'm not trying to be weird or anything. I'm just#I just really don't want to screw this up. I know we spent almost the last year avoiding each other#And I know things between us were rocky for a bit before that#and I hope I'm not overwhelming you. I know things won't be better overnight#I know we've distanced so much and theres so much awkward history there. I know things are different now#And I respect that. I respect your relationship and your new life. I'm not trying to impose or make you uncomfortable#I'm just anxious and tbh scared an nervous too. I don't want to fuck this up. If theres a chance for us to be close friends again I want it#Im so so so scared of fucking it up. I feel like I forgot how to be friends & after the way I left things Im scared that I lost my chance#I'm scared that it's not gonna work and that a permanent goodbye is in our future. I'm scared that you won't want me around after all#I would understand if that became the case.. but I really don't want that#I cant text you this without seeming like an overbearing clingy anxious mess of an ex but ive been on the verge of a panic attack all night#just for the fear that I'm fucking up already somehow. Just the fear that this isn't going to work and I shouldn't even try#I think I spent so long avoiding you that now I don't know what to do with myself. But I'm trying to be normal#I promise I dont have any motives other than missing a really great friendship and being tired of missing friends#And maybe I still have a ways to go in the emotional healing department but I think I'm ok enough to try. I've been ok for a while now#If you see this please know that I mean every word. If you never see it thats ok because I just need to get it off my chest before I burst#I don't want to scare you off or lose you again. if thats what it comes to then know I'll always miss and appreciate you for all my days#Thats all. Ive been a ball of nerves all evening & I just needed to air this out cause having this weight sitting on my chest is too much#emma rambles#personal#vent post
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youdontloveme-yet · 1 year
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hauntedspider · 1 year
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peeks in
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the ucm predoc contract pre-admitted and non-admitted lists are published! guess in which one i am lol
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threnodians · 2 years
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lmfao power's off until 6am according to the power company and it's too windy for us to start our woodstove which is 👌🏻 👏🏻 👍🏻 fucking amazing
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raven13skye · 1 year
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sirnica · 1 year
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Crisis averted! She's not moving away (yet)!
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thatgenericwriter · 3 months
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I'm Eepy || Gregory House
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Paring: Dr. Gregory House x fem! reader
Summary: House and the reader have a 4 year old child that definitely takes after her father
Warnings: Children, House, Swearing
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You took your eyes away from your kid for 10 seconds. 10 fucking seconds! And when you turned around she was no longer playing with her monster trucks by the nurse's station. You immediately start to panic, frantically searching the entire floor you're on.
Normally you wouldn't be this panic, she runs off all the time, except the last time she wandered off in the hospital she got into the drawers of a patient's room and almost took an entire bottle of pills thinking they were candy.
You collect House's fellows and make them split into teams, sending them to scour the different floors in search of your daughter. By this point, you're on the verge of a panic attack. Your daughter is missing in a giant hospital with so many ways of hurting herself, or getting kidnapped, or just leaving on her own, or---
Your hysterical train of thought is interrupted when you hear your name called out from behind you. Whipping around you find that the source of voice is none other than House. You practically sprint towards him throwing yourself into his arms.
"She's missing and I can't find her and I have everyone looking for her and she's gone and I'm an awful mother and I should have never let her out of my site and how could I---."
"Calm down!" House pushes you back slightly and leans down to be face-to-face with you. "I know where she is."
You look into his eyes before punching him in the shoulder. "Why the FUCK did you not tell me that in the first place!"
"Well I was going to but then someone got all weepy and pathetic so I didn't get the chance."
You roll your eyes at him and scoff, but then you lean back in for another hug. You feel him run his hand along your back soothingly before pulling away and turning towards the elevator.
"Come on I have Thirteen and Kutner watching her right now, but I'm not sure how long they can last around her before their feeling are hurt so bad they cast her out of my office."
You grab his hand and walk to the elevator while picturing your daughter making fun of Thirteen and Kutner. She definitely took after her father in the 'making others feel like trash for fun' category. Something you were trying to teach out of her, but someone keeps teaching her more and more curse words.
As the elevator doors open you let go of House's hand and run to his office. You throw the door open and look around for your daughter. All of the fellows have gathered at the table and give you sushing gestures before pointing behind you.
You turn around to find your daughter lounged in House's yellow chair, her eyes fighting to stay open. You quietly walk through the connecting door and crouch by your daughter's head.
"Hey pretty girl," you stroke her hair lovingly, "you know you can't run off like that. Mommy was so scared. You don't want to scare me do you?"
She groggily shakes her head no before letting out a yawn. "I'm sorry Mommy, but I'm soooooo eepy."
You shake your head with a small smile before kissing your daughter's head lightly and watch as her eyes finally close. Standing up you turn and look through the glass to see House standing there looking at you and your daughter with the most content look you've ever seen on his face.
Turning off the lights and closing the blinds you give one last look at your daughter before walking through the conjoing door and into House's awaiting arms.
"Get a room you two!" Everyone whips their head around to Chase with a furious look on their face.
"Shhhhhhhhh!"
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Author's note: i did not prof read this so if it sucks don't tell me... also I'm going to write more I swear! plz be patient with me as I get through requests!!
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megameatymatt · 2 months
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TW !! can you do matt comforting reader after her panic attack ? 🎀
Overwhelmed - Matt Sturniolo
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TW!: fighting, crying, swearing, panic attack, angst, fluff
A/N: feedback and requests are appreciated!
You walk into your apartment, kicking off your shoes and plopping onto your bed, tears forming in your eyes. You pick up your phone to call Matt, no answer. You try again, no answer. This usually wouldn't have bothered you, but you and Matt had planned this night together days prior. The both of you have been so busy and stressed you haven’t had time to see each other. You were on the verge of tears the entire day. The only thing that got you through it was knowing you would get to curl up in Matt’s arms. He made you feel safe
You try texting him, asking when he's gonna be here
*read at 10:35pm*
You feel your heartache. “Is he mad?”, “Maybe he’s just busy”, “what did I do?” You start to overthink, thoughts filling up to the brink of your mind.
 You didn't want to let this bother you, maybe he's filming. You stumble onto your feet and into the bathroom. You look in the mirror, and puffy red eyes stare back at you. You let out a deep sigh before soaking in a hot bath and then putting on your pyjamas. As you walk into your living room, you hear a familiar knock at the door. Your eyes light up and you rush over to unlock it. “Matt!” you squeal, leaping into his arms. 
He smiles looking down at you, You lift your head off his chest to look at him “Why the fuck did you leave me on read?” you say faking an angry tone. “I was busy,” he says, brushing past you to take off his shoes. You furrow your eyebrows and walk into the kitchen locking the door behind you.
“You didn’t bring any snacks? You always bring snacks on movie night...” you tell him, a little disappointed “ God, Y/N. When did you become such a big fucking baby? Always whining about everything” His words spill out his mouth laced with anger.
 It feels like you’ve been stabbed in your stomach. The last thing you needed today was someone yelling at you, and out of everyone, it had to be the person you loved the most.
“I'm sorry Matt, I-” you start trembling, your vision blurry “Now you’re fucking crying, oh my gosh Y/N. Grow the fuck up, not everything's gonna go- ” He stops.
he watches you grip the counter, hands shaking, tears streaming down your face. He immediately walks over to you, getting you to sit on the floor as he holds you in his arms. 
You can’t even explain what’s happening. Your head is spinning, you can barely breathe, and your hands are shaky and sweaty. You're so overwhelmed by all the emotion you're feeling, you're convinced you're gonna pass out. Then you hear Matt’s voice. “Hey baby, look at me, listen to me” Somehow, your eyes manage to find his. 
This has happened before but never this bad, this was new.  “Breathe for me. In and out, slowly okay?” He breathes in and out with you, holding your hand the entire time. You take many shaky breaths letting out a sob between each one, before slowly calming down. You look away from him, feeling slightly embarrassed. “Hey, are you okay baby? You alright now?” He says running his fingers through your hair as you lay in his lap. “I'm fine Matt,” you say, letting go of his hand. He quickly takes your hand back, holding it tighter. 
“I’m so fucking sorry Y/N. I didn’t mean any of it, you know that. I would never say that to you I'm such a fucking idiot.” You stare at him, his eyes glistening. “You didn’t deserve that, I've just been so stressed and tired lately. But I know you’ve been hurting too. I shouldn’t have let my emotions get a hold of me like that.” He’s crying now, tears staining his cheeks. “I love you Y/N, I hope you know that”. You smile, moving the hair from his face. “I love you too Matt. I'm sorry for stressing you out like that, it was wrong”He kisses your forehead before lifting you up and dropping you on the couch, peppering your face with more kisses. You squeal with joy and he laughs before sitting beside you and taking out his phone. “Pick a movie, I'll order some pizza,” he says, handing you the TV remote. You take it and snuggle up next to him. “I'm still mad about the snacks”  He rolls his eyes and laughs. You feel warmth grow in your cheeks, your head no longer pounding. You're not stressed, angry, or overwhelmed with Matt by your side.
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Lessons in Love.
Bucky didn't believe in love at first sight. Then he met you.
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Pairing - Bucky Barnes x female reader
Warnings - None
Word Count - 3615
Author's Note - hello gorgeous people, hope you're all doing well. writing this has made my heart so full, and I hope it makes you feel the same. requests are always open and more than encouraged!! currently working on a stunning jake seresin request that's just so lovely. i'm SO open to more jake requests, but also any marvel, top gun maverick, criminal minds, narcos and any others you have in mind!! just send them over, and I'll see what I can do. as always, so much love x
Masterlist. Requests.
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“No way. How is that even possible?”
You look at the bewildered man in front of you and can’t help but smile.
“It’ll play anything you want it to. Anything in the world. Just ask it!” you encourage, beaming grin still plastered on your face.
“Alexa,” he says tentatively, “play Marvin Gaye.”
The first notes of Trouble Man begin to sound through your apartment, and his eyes light up. He’s looking at you like you’ve discovered something completely revolutionary.
You laugh – a real, genuine, delighted sound that flows through Bucky like a beam of light, illuminates his bones, makes his heart beat that little bit faster.
Grabbing your notebook, you delicately place a check next to Number 26 – voice-controlled devices. Number 27 is air fryers. Number 28 is Bluetooth. Number 29 is kindles and e-readers. Number 30 is Doordash. You’ve already checked off Spotify, and ATMs, and Google, and online banking, amongst many others. A list of things to better integrate Bucky into the 21st Century. A list of things to make him feel less like a man out of time. A list of things that allow you to spend all the time with him that you can.
A warm hand on your left hip and a cold one on your right pull you back into reality.
“Dance with me.” he murmurs. “Let me teach you something, for once.”
Before you can process his words, he’s gliding across the kitchen with you in his arms. Trouble Man isn’t playing anymore, instead replaced with something slower, richer. Bucky hasn’t taken his eyes off you, not even for a second. He’s watching your every move, every expression, every twitch of your lips. Reading you like a book.
You bring your hands to rest around his neck, and he relaxes into you. He’s leading, swaying you gently, occasionally twirling you like a ballerina in a music box. Perfectly effortless. He’s good at this.
The sun is setting, casting a warm orange hue across the kitchen. The light is reflecting onto your hair, making you glow, giving you a halo. Angelic, he thinks. My guardian angel.
You close the space between your bodies, wrapping your arms around his middle. Resting your head on his chest, he prays you can’t hear how his heart is working overtime. You shut your eyes, and breathe him in. He smells faintly like the Bakery, like sugar and coffee and cinnamon. The place that started it all.
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When Bucky first moved into his apartment, he’d noticed the Bakery down the street immediately. The smell of cake and coffee drifted out of the lilac colored door, enticing him in. He resisted the urge, and told himself that he’d go inside tomorrow.
The next day, he stood outside of the red brick building, and read the menu on the noticeboard carefully. Then he reread it. And then read it again. Since when was coffee so complicated? And don’t even get him started on cake. He swore there was only a few types back in the forties. Now, there was at least fifty different kinds on this menu alone. He was overwhelmed. He thought he’d be able to walk into this Bakery, get some coffee, maybe something sweet, and leave content. Instead, he's stood on the sidewalk on the verge of a panic attack. Tomorrow, he thinks to himself. I’ll go in tomorrow.
Tomorrow never comes. Every day, he takes a walk, and purposely passes the building that he longs to go into. But somehow, he can never find the courage. He knows he’ll just look like an idiot if he walks in. He’ll look lost, and out of place, and everyone will laugh and mutter. Look, they’ll jeer, The Winter Soldier can’t even order a coffee.
And so, he spares himself the pain. Lets his feet carry him past, only slowing down slightly when he passes the lilac door. Every day for three months, he takes the same route. Willing himself to go in, to find the courage. It’s just coffee, he tells himself. Get a grip.
Until, one day, you decided to change his life, unknowingly. Or maybe knowingly. He’s still not sure.
He takes his usual path, and just as he gets to the lilac door – you’re there. Stood, waiting, soft smile on your face. Bucky panics, and wills his feet to move faster, to take him away from this inevitably awkward situation. You stop him before he can make a run for it.
“Hi.”
Oh. You’re talking to him. You’re staring into his soul with no judgment, or fear, or trepidation. You’re staring into his soul with gentleness. Kindness. Friendship. He’s terrified.
“Uh – hi.” He rubs the back of his neck. Nervous habit.
“So, uh, I hope this isn’t weird, or anything. But, I’ve been watching you walk past every day for like three months, and, well…” you trail off. Now you look nervous. “Actually, I haven’t really thought this far ahead. I just see you, and I wanted to… invite you in, I guess? Not that you need an invite, of course not, we’re open to everyone, but… you always look like you’re going to come in, and then you never do. And I’ve been telling myself for months that I should properly invite you in, but now I’m realising this is, uh, really weird. And I’m sorry.”
You still have that gentle smile on your face, but it’s more tentative now. A dusting of pink is making its way onto your cheeks, and Bucky thinks it might be his new favourite color.
It’s now that he really starts to take you in. Your hair is blowing slightly in the breeze, and the sleeves of your sweater are pulled down over your wrists, to try and keep the New York chill at bay. You have bright, inquisitive eyes – eyes that contain hope, love, laughter. You make him feel almost peaceful. No one makes him feel like that. Damn.
You’ve stepped closer to him now, to get out of the way of the customers making their way through the door. You smell like sugar, and coffee, and optimism. He wants to breathe you in, let you settle in his lungs. A comfortable warmth spreads through his chest.
He decides to take a gamble and bear his truth to you. He’s not sure why, but he trusts you. He doesn’t trust anyone, these days. But he trusts you.
“Can I be honest with you?”, he asks, looking at you expectantly. You’re almost expecting him to laugh in your face at the absurdity of it all. You nod anyway, signalling for him to continue.
“I’ve been trying to work up the courage to come in. But every time I try, I just, uh-” he stutters, and you can tell that his mind is screaming at him, sounding alarm bells, begging him to stop with all this sudden vulnerability.
“It’s overwhelming, right?” you ask, cutting him off. Saving him. Guardian angel.
You see the relief in his body at your question. His fists unclench, the tension leaves his shoulders. He smiles bashfully. Half grateful, half embarrassed. You get it.
“Yeah,” he chuckles. You giggle, and he’s convinced that the melodious sound will circle around in his mind forever, like the Earth orbiting the Sun.
You fiddle with the strings of your mint green apron, and look at him. You’re gazing at him so earnestly that he’s worried he might spontaneously combust.
“Are you busy tonight?” you ask suddenly, and he feels so dizzy he’s concerned momentarily that he’s going to pass out.
“Uh, no. I’m not,” he replies, managing to force the words out of his mouth.
“We close at 6, so meet me here at 7.”
You still have that sparkle in your eye. He couldn’t say no to you if he tried.
“Why?” he queries. He’d be lying if he said he wasn’t absolutely petrified at the turn the conversation has taken.
“I want to show you around. Maybe make you a coffee, introduce you to some of my favourite things. You won’t believe how good my raspberry and white chocolate cookies are. They’re best sellers for a reason,” you beam at him.
Beaming. He wonders how he’s lived his whole life without your light illuminating his universe. Anywhere he goes without you is going to feel so dark, he thinks. How did I ever live like this?
He manages to pull himself together to smile back at you. His first genuine grin in God knows how long. He’s forgotten what joy feels like, and he’s almost drunk on it now.
He agrees to your plan, and you turn on your heel, about to make your way back inside.
“Wait!” he yells, louder than intended. “What’s your name?”
Your lips turn up into a smirk, mischief seeping out of your pores.
“Come back at 7 and find out.” You wink at him, and he has to take a few deep breaths in order to stay conscious. With that, you leave him alone on the sidewalk, where he’s silently thanking the universe for dropping you in his lap. Finally, he thinks. The cosmic punishment is over.
He does come back at 7. In fact, he’s stood outside waiting at 6:45. He can see you mopping the floor, singing as you go. His supersoldier hearing allows him to listen to your voice, even from this far away. He’s never been more grateful for the thing he used to call a curse. He’d be cursed every damn day if it meant he got to listen to you like this.
At 6:58, you appear at the lilac door, beckoning him to follow you inside. He knows that stepping over that threshold is going to change him fundamentally. He can’t wait.
Upon entering, he’s hit with the smell of cinnamon, sugar, coffee, and you. A beautiful mix of all three. Without a second thought, he reaches out with his right hand, and gently brushes some flour from your cheekbone.
“Bucky,” he murmurs.
You can’t tear your eyes away from him. Lips slightly parted, chest heaving, it takes you a minute to register that he spoke.
“What?” you ask, dazed by the handsome stranger with the steel blue eyes.
“My name,” he speaks softly. “It’s Bucky.”
You smile knowingly, and take a deep breath. It’s overwhelming, meeting someone that you know is going to be in your life forever. You’re both feeling the same, neither of you sure just quite what to do.
You grab his left hand, sighing quietly in relief at the feeling the cool metal against your heated skin. Leading him gently, he lets you guide him through the front of the store, until you stop behind the counter. He’s convinced he’d let you lead him anywhere, as long as he gets to feel your skin, soft and warm, on his. Grounding. Comforting. Easy.
“What kind of milk do you like?” you ask, fingers still intertwined with his.
“There’s more than one kind of milk?”
Bucky looks so disorientated, that you want to kiss the confused expression off his face. You chuckle softly, and the sound bounces off the metal in the room, twinkling around him.
“We have cows’ milk, oat milk, almond milk and soy milk.” You take one look at him, and decide to change course. “Let’s start with something less complex, actually. Any allergies I should know about?”
He shakes his head, mischievous grin beginning to form on his handsome face. There he is, you think. He’s with me.
“I’m going to make you a latte. It’s milky, and not too strong or too sweet. I think you’ll like it.”
She thinks I’ll like it, he muses. And he trusts you - whether it be with his life, or just a cup of coffee.
You reluctantly let go of his hand, and begin to flit around, gathering everything you need. Bucky leans back against the counter and watches carefully. He watches the way you bite your lip when you measure out the milk. He watches the way the steam from the coffee machine blows your hair back from your face gently. He watches the way you’re trying to make everything perfect. He can’t remember the last time someone paid attention to him like this. His mind is telling him to sprint in the opposite direction, to excuse himself and never come back. He’s terrified. But he stays. I deserve this, he thinks. I deserve something good.
You pull him from his thoughts by handing him the mug of warm coffee. He takes it from you carefully, and, without breaking eye contact, takes a sip. He smiles, really smiles. That’s all the validation you needed.
“Let me show you where we bake everything,” you say quietly, as if you’re afraid to burst this bubble of warmth and trust you’ve created. You’re scared he’s going to bolt if you give him the chance. So, you don’t. You take his hand once more, and guide him through to the kitchen.
“Have you done much baking in your life, Bucky?”
No, he thinks. But I will. I’ll bake everyday for the rest of my life if it means you’ll love me. If you’ll make me coffee and smile at me like that.
Instead, he answers cautiously.
“Not really. I’d like to, though.” He adds that last part bashfully. You smile back at him earnestly.
“Well then you’re in the right place,” you wink. He has the overwhelming urge to drop to his knees. To pray at your altar. To worship you like an angel sent down just for him. He’s surprised he’s still stood on two feet.
Before he can even register what’s happening, you’re beginning to create a mixture for your infamous cookies. You direct him to stir, while you add meticulously measured ingredients into the bowl.
“Put those arms to good use,” you’d smirked, and a blush had risen up to his cheeks almost instantly.
You click the radio on, and a soft, jazzy melody begins to drift through the room. You’re humming quietly, gliding around the kitchen, and he decides that this is it for him. You’re it for him. He could watch you do this every day and die a happy man.
Cookies baking in the oven, you jump up to sit on one of the counters. Bucky moves to stand in between your legs, still being careful to keep his distance ever so slightly. He knows if he touches you, he won’t ever want to let go.
“This wasn’t as scary as I thought it was going to be,” he confesses.
“What, me?” you tease.
“No. Coffee. And cookies,” he chuckles.
“Are there lots of things that you haven’t done because you find them scary?” you ask genuinely. You want to know him. All of him. Fears, wants, quirks. All of it.
“Yeah, actually. The world is so different now. I don’t really know where to start. It’s all terrifying, honestly,” he laughs. You laugh with him, but you know there’s truth to his words. You want to wrap your arms around him. He may be 6 foot tall and made of solid muscle and vibranium, but you want to protect him.
“Why don’t we do it together?”
A pause. He’s confused again.
“Do what together?”
“All of it. The learning. I’ll help you. Everything is less scary if you do it with someone else.”
It’s now that he’s convinced he’s dreaming. You can’t be real. Why would you be here, offering him everything, after all that he’s done? He has to remind himself. I deserve this. I deserve something good.
You can sense his trepidation, so you keep talking.
“Why don’t we make a list? You write down the things you want to learn about. I’ll write down other things I think you should know. You’ll be an expert on the 21st Century before long, Buck.”
Buck. The nickname sounds like a gift coming from your lips.
“Okay. Yeah. Are you sure you don’t mind?”
The anxiety is coming off him in waves. He’s panicking. You grab a hold of both of his hands, and place one on each of your legs, just above your knees. He steps in closer, and takes a breath. You’re warm, and you’re soft, and you’re love personified. He’s okay.
“Of course I don’t mind. I’m excited!” you assure him. Then, quieter, “It means I get to spend more time with you.”
He aims a beaming, megawatt smile in your direction. He feels as if his nerve endings are alight. You’ve awoken something in him. He’d forgotten what it was like to feel like this. To feel alive.
You reach over and grab your notebook. In it, you simply write his name, followed by a love heart. Then, underneath, you begin to list everything you can think of that you want to teach him. You hand the list to him, and he adds his own requests. Between you, you manage to write 50 different lessons.
“Perfect. We’ll start with number one, and work our way down. Are you busy tomorrow evening?”
He chuckles at your eagerness, but secretly, he can’t wait. He knows he’ll be counting down the hours until he can see you again.
“Nope, I’m not. You are my only priority, sweetheart.”
The term of endearment seeps into your skin, settles in your ribcage. You’re convinced it’ll warm you up from the inside out. If he keeps calling you sweetheart in that Brooklyn drawl of his, you’ll never be cold again.
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You’re not sure if you’ve been swaying in your kitchen with Bucky to Marvin Gaye for 2 minutes or 2 hours. You’re comfortably settled into him, as if the space in his arms was made especially for you. Maybe it was.
Bucky’s voice breaks through the solitude.
“You know, I’ve created my own list,” he murmurs against the top of your hair, where he’s resting his head.
You pull back, still in his arms, to look at him carefully.
“Oh yeah?”
“Yeah. Read it, and tell me what you think.”
He untangles himself from you and crosses the room, to retrieve his leather-bound notebook. He returns, and places it carefully in your awaiting hands.
You flick open the cover to reveal the first page. You recognise his handwriting instantly. It’s spiralling, and imperfect, but so Bucky. At the top of the page, you spot the title – your name, with a love heart next to it. Exactly the same as you’d done for him when you’d originally created your list together.
Underneath your name, only one thing is written.
I love you.
You look up at him, to see him watching you, holding his breath. Neither of you know what to say. You know what you want to say. You want to tell him that you hope the list never ends, so you always have an excuse to spend time with him. You want to tell him that you watched him walk past the door of the Bakery every day for 3 months because you thought he was the most beautiful person you’d ever seen. You want to tell him that every time he looks at you, you feel as if you’re going to pass out. You want to tell him that you can recognise him anywhere, by touch or smell alone. Instead, you say,
“You do?”
That genuine, million dollar smile is back, etched on his face. He’s glowing, light radiating from his bones.
“Yes. I do. I think I’ve loved you ever since I saw you waiting for me on the doorstep of the Bakery that day.”
You think you might be floating. Levitating above ground, fuelled by love. You laugh.
“That’s the exact moment I fell in love with you.”
He laughs with you, then. You could get drunk off the sound.
“I didn’t think love at first sight was a real thing. I thought I was going crazy,” he confesses.
He’s convinced that the two of you have discovered something, invented it even. Because he doesn’t understand. If love feels like this, so all encompassing, so consuming – how does anyone live? Every moment of every day, Bucky thinks of you. How does anyone go to work? How does anyone ever feel sad, or angry, when love like this exists?
You drop the notebook and cross the room to him. He closes the gap, and throws his arms around you, spinning you in circles, laughing with joy. He sets you back on your feet, and tilts your chin up, so you’re looking into his steel blue eyes. You could drown in the ocean of his irises if he let you.
He leans down, and presses his lips to yours. He’s giving you all of the love, the joy, the laughter – everything good that he has ever felt, because of you – through his kiss. Your knees go weak, and he holds you up by your waist, his strong arms encircling your frame. He tastes like coffee, and sugar, and promises. You’ll never want to taste anything else.
Eventually, you break away for air. You gaze up at him, and he sees sunshine in your eyes. He’s not sure what he did to earn a love like this. You seem to sense his doubts creeping in, because you say, in the most assured voice he’s ever heard –
“No one has ever loved anyone as much as I love you.”
I deserve this, he thinks. I deserve something good.
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lexirosewrites · 2 months
Note
popping in for slick sunday thinking more about a fic i have in progress right now (quick cw for threats of violence) :
specifically a scene where omega!steve and alpha!eddie have their daughter (well, steve's daughter, but she might as well be eddie's too at this point) at the park or something. somehow, in the minute or two they looked away for some undetermined reason, their girl disappears. one minute, she was going down the slide, and the next, gone.
it doesn't take long to find her. five minutes, max. she didn't get far. but in those five minutes, steve's entire world is collapsing. he can't live without his daughter. he's on the verge of a panic attack when eddie finally spots her, just off to the side of the playground picking some flowers. steve's panic morphs straight into anger the second he sees the man standing next to her. a man he recognizes.
he storms over, eddie following behind like a lost puppy who has no idea what's going on. eddie had been fortunate enough in his years to never bear witness to true omega rage. until now. he'd heard stories of omegas protecting their pups, doing whatever it takes to keep them safe, but he had never seen it in real time until this moment. he doesn't know who this man is, but it's clear that steve does, and he wants him nowhere near his little girl.
steve calls his daughter's name, visibly trying to keep his cool and not scare her. she looks up, and the brightest smile stretches across her face. "look, daddy!" she calls back, holding up her tiny fist, full of flowers. "i got flowers!"
"i can see that," steve responds with a soft smile, one eddie has only ever seen him give to her. "why don't you and eddie take those very pretty flowers back to the playground, my love? i'm sure he can help you find something to put them in so we can bring them home with us."
eddie wants to protest. he wants to stay, to figure out who this man is and why steve is so hell bent on being alone with him. he distinctly smells alpha on the stranger, which only makes him want to stay more. however, he listens. mostly. he does take her back to the playground. they find a cup to hold the flowers in, in the bag steve packed. then she goes back to the playing, running around with some of the other kids. the whole time, eddie has one eye and one ear on steve and the stranger, who isn't such a stranger.
the conversation starts out hushed. eddie can't hear anything. soon, though, there's shouting. eddie can't help but watch, slowly migrating closer in case he needs to step in. whether that would be to protect steve or the stranger, eddie isn't so sure.
"you're the one that didn't want this, tommy!" steve spits at the stranger, tommy. "you're the one that walked away!"
"you can't keep me from my own kid, steve," tommy spits back. "i have rights."
ah, eddie thinks to himself, this is starting to make a lot more sense.
"you gave up those rights when you walked out and told me to never contact you again, asshole. she is not your kid. she's mine."
"she has my DNA, doesn't she?" tommy crosses his arms. "you'll either let me see her, or i'm taking you to court for full custody. your choice."
"like fucking hell you are. i swear to god, tommy, if you come anywhere near her ever again, i will slit your fucking throat."
that's all i have thought out for this so far, and it'll be much more detailed and planned out if/when it eventually gets put into the fic itself, but i've been thinking about it a lot lately and thought you might enjoy it :)
happy slick sunday, friend :)
protective omega steve is the best!! thank you for sharing and happy slick sunday to you too!!💛
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fangirl-writes · 10 months
Text
Small Spaces
JJ Maybank x Reader; John B. Routledge x Routledge!Reader
Warning(s): claustrophobia, anxiety attack, swearing
Request: jj maybank dating jb’s twin sister and her joining in on their adventures but she has severe anxiety so just him being super sweet and loving to her?
Notes: This is totally based on another fic I read that I can't find rn but it's my spin on it so I hope you like.
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Fuck this, you thought. Seriously, fuck this.
You were squeezing yourself through a small hole in a mausoleum that had "Redfield" written across the top, just to see what was inside.
For John B., of course, because he was your brother, and he needed to find this clue almost as much as he needed to be breathing.
But god damn it, this was all you needed.
Between the near visit from child services, the hurricane, the dead guy's boat, the guy's gun, getting shot at, and surely more to come, you were due for a panic attack.
Your feet hit the ground with a loud smack and you winced at the noise.
"Still alive?" John B. asked.
"Oh my god, shut up,"
"Yep, she's alive."
You rolled your eyes and took the flashlight that Kie was offering you.
You shined the light around the space, bigger than you were expecting, but the fact that your exit was so small and that it would be a struggle getting back to it was making the anxiety stir in your stomach.
"Y/N? You okay?" JJ asked.
"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine," you replied. "What exactly am I looking for?"
"You'll know it when you see it."
"Real helpful, JB," you mumbled, shining the flashlight around and trying to focus on finding whatever it was rather than the darkness and the walls that felt like they were going to close in on you.
You gasp when a flash of white catches your eye.
"Y/N? You okay?" JJ asked
"Oh my god," you whispered.
"Y/N?" JJ asked again. "I'm gonna need some word confirmation that you're okay."
"Yeah, I-I'm fine," you replied. "I think I found it."
"What? Really?" John B. said, peaking into the space you'd crawled into.
You pulled out a long white envelope from a small space in the crypt, the words "FedEx" and "Bird" written on it.
Thanks for including me, Dad, you thought before taking the envelope over to the space and handing it to John B.'s outstretched hand.
"That's not gold," Pope said, a little disappointed.
But John B. was looking at it like it was. "Holy shit."
"JJ, a little help?" you said, reaching a hand through the space.
"Yeah, yeah, I gotchu, babe," he replied, helping you out of the crypt.
"This is from our dad," John B. said, looking around at the group.
"Yeah," you said, trying to catch your breath. "To you."
"Code red. Code red." JJ warned, the smoke from his joint fluttering up into the air. "Square groupers! Square groupers!"
Your stomach drops as the five of you start moving, JJ's hands grabbing your arms rougher than he probably meant to.
"It's the guys who robbed your house," JJ said.
Fuck, you think. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
You guys hide on the side of the mausoleum, turning off and tucking the lights under your shirts.
You can feel it start to bubble up, your breathing becoming unsteady.
"Hey, I see something!"
"Do you think it's them?" Kiara asked.
"Homie's got a gun," JJ said as he and John B. peaked around the corner.
"Screw this," Kie said, taking off. The others followed her, including you, who was on the verge of breaking down.
"Right here!" One of the men shouted.
JJ's hand was on your back the whole time, but it did nothing to calm you down.
You each scaled the fence with little trouble except for Pope, who got his pants stuck on the gate.
It was funny until you were in the van and that anxiety attack had caught up with you, the adrenaline fix going away.
Your hands shook. Your chest tightened. Tears began streaming down your cheeks.
You were starting to hyperventilate, and your head was spinning. Even though you knew you were safe in the Twinkie now, you couldn't help the dread that was washing over you, the fear for your life that coiled around you like a snake.
"Hey, hey, hey, Y/N," JJ said, quickly catching on to what was happening. "You're okay, you're okay."
He made you look at him and took a few deep breaths for you to copy, which you did over and over.
"Shit, get this joint out of here," JJ said, handing it off to Pope.
"What am I supposed to do with it?" he asked.
"Throw it out the window or something, get it outta here. It only makes her worse."
You'd tried that anecdote before, and, as he said, it really did only make the panic attack worse. Through trial and error, JJ and John B. found the only things that helped you through a panic attack were calming words, help getting your breathing back to normal, and hugs.
So, JJ did just that. He held you close and whispered in your ear, rocking you back and forth slowly.
John B. checked your state in the rearview, feeling bad that he'd brought you along at all, even if you had insisted. Then he looked at the envelope sitting next to him and knew that, somehow, it would be worth it.
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schemmentigfs · 8 months
Text
Future Milf, part two.
part one!
paring: melissa schemmenti x reader.
summary: after the incident in the teacher's lounge, you start to avoid melissa who is willing to know what happened and trying to get things back to normal.
warnings: just a little angst but trust me, we have a happy ending!
author notes: This is a little rushed, but I hope you all enjoy this second part 🤍 I also wanted to thank the beautiful people who are sending requests for Mel, they are amazing and i'm already working on them! And don't worry, feel free to send any idea that comes to mind. It will be an honor for me to turn them into reality.
tags: @esposadejoyhuerta @gweninred @moistblobfish
English is not my first language, so I apologize for any mistakes!
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The truth was that Melissa was completely disoriented, her brain trying to process what had happened in the last seven minutes. You acting like that and apologizing, leaving the room as quickly as possible made her worried as hell.
All she wanted was to comfort you and know what was really happening. There were a lot of doubts in her mind, to be honest. Had she done something? Or said something? The way you couldn't look into her green eyes was so strange..
Everything between you two was great until today, and then it all suddenly fell apart at lunchtime? That made her feel a little paranoid.
“Melissa, are you well? Are you hurt?” Barb asks.
“I don't know,” she said, staring into nothing, worrying her friends, “I just need to check on her.” The redhead gets up and runs to start looking for you.
“MELISSA! WAIT!” the entire Abbott crew screams, but she completely ignores it.
She stops in front of your classroom and notices that the door is locked. The lights are off, but Melissa knows you're in there.
“Sweetheart, please let me in,” she knocks gently, “I am not mad with ya. Don't worry about it, I just want to know how you are.” The older woman adds, almost begging for you to open the door.
Locked inside your classroom, you were sitting on the floor. Curled up hugging your knees, trying to find some comfort while crying. The whole situation was so fucking stupid, of course. But it still left you overwhelmed and on the verge of an anxiety attack.
So lending Melissa the future milf t-shirt made you completely lose your mind? Wow, you really were a stupid person. Stupid. That word stuck in your brain and made you cry even more.
Hearing your quiet sobs made the redhead's heart break into pieces. The thought of her doing something that made you hurt was utterly painful. The truth was that Melissa would blame herself for the rest of her life if she had made you feel bad in any way.
“Hon, c'mon. Let me—” she started.
“Don't. Melissa, please. Just go away, I need to be alone,” you interrupt her, hoping she would understand that you didn't have the strength to say anything else.
Before walking away, she whispers loud enough for you to hear. “If you need anything, you know where to find me. But please, promise me you'll be okay.” The redhead said trying to wipe away the small tears that threatened to fall from her face.
“I'll be fine. Now go.” You growl, unaware that your words have fully gotten to her.
It had been a while since Melissa changed her mood so quickly. She had learned to control her emotions, thanks to you, who helped her notice that it was okay to show them from time to time and it wasn't shameful at all. But at that moment everything seemed useless.
Her legs were shaking slightly and she kept tapping her fingers on the desk, while trying to focus on correcting some of the children's homeworks. It was clear that Melissa was almost having a huge panic attack.
Ashely, who was now scrolling through her cell phone boredly after making sure the students were doing their activities calmly and in silence, noticed the sudden change in the redhead and her eyebrows raised in confusion.
“What’s the matter, boss? You seem a little quiet since lunch time. Which is strange ‘cause earlier you were all excited and—”
The older woman rolls her eyes. “Nothing happened. I'm fine,” she responds, clenching her teeth, “everything is ok, kid.”
“Are you sure? I know we’re not that close, but if you need to vent, I’m all ears.” The girl shrugs.
Melissa's eyes widen, her aide was really willing to give her some advice? Normally, Ashley didn't tend to be very serious. When she tried to help, the girl always ended up saying things that were a bit nonsense. But this time, she was here ready to be a shoulder to lean on.
“Y/n..” she started but quickly corrected herself, not quite ready to confide the crush she had on you to anyone else than Barbara. “Today, a strange thing happened between me and a friend that honestly left me completely confused.”
“Oh. Do you have any idea what might have happened?”
Melissa stops for a moment, trying to get her head to work and think of a reason that could explain what had happened between the two of you.
“I-I can't explain it properly...everything was normal between us and when lunch time came...” the teacher stuttered, “she could barely look at me and when I told her to act like a real adult and tell me what was happening, she panicked and ran away.”
“After that you were able to talk to her?”
“Kinda, but she told me to leave her alone.”
Ashley gives her a pitying look, she knew who Melissa was referring to. Anyone who works at Abbott would know. “I'm sorry this happened boss, but I'm sure things will get better between you and her. Just give her a little time.”
Melissa nodded and smiled. “Thanks for the advice, hon.”
“Anytime boss, anytime.”
Changing my life with the wave of her hand.
Nobody can deny that there's something there.
There.
Running my hands through her hair.
Both of us thinking how good it can be.
Someone is speaking, but she doesn't know he's there.
The melody of Here, There And Everywhere by The Beatles echoed throughout the kitchen directly from the small radio on the balcony, while Melissa prepared dinner.
This was one of the many songs she always wanted to dedicate to you, the redhead dreamed of dancing with her arms around you, after a busy day at school while this song played. Just the two of you, enjoying each other's company.
Was it quite cliché? Of course it was, even for the one and only Melissa Schemmenti. But to be honest, she didn't care how it sounded.
The older woman was so in love with you that she thought of endless romantic scenarios every day. After what happened today, every one of them seemed distant. But she still had a simple hope within her.
“Watching her eyes, and hoping I'm always there,” she sings passionately, while cutting the tomatoes perfectly, “I want her everywhere, and if she is beside me. I know I need never care, but to love her is to need her everywhere.” Melissa closes her eyes for a moment, thinking about you.
On the way out, she looked for you in the Abbott parking lot but was unsuccessful, she was waiting for a message from you, saying that you had arrived home safely like you always did.
But you didn't send her anything.
A feeling ran through her body. It was as if the redhead was losing the most precious thing in her life. Desperate, Melissa picked up her cellphone that was leaning on the living room table and went to check on you. Screw the advice Ashely gave earlier, she couldn't wait anymore.
Hon, are you feeling better? I hope so. By the way, did you manage to get home safely?
Sorry if I sound desperate, but I need to know if things are ok.
Y/n? Please answer me.
Her heart breaks into pieces when she sees that you just viewed the message and didn't even make the effort to reply back. For fuck’s sake, what had she done that was so serious? Nothing made sense anymore.
Just a few blocks away, you were lying on the couch and drinking an entire bottle of vodka, pretending like you didn't care about not responding to Melissa's messages. It was immature, but it seemed to make sense to you. Since this whole milf situation was a complete disaster, ignoring her seemed right.
Of course, inside you felt like a monster, knowing that the redhead didn't deserve this. But what you could do?
“I’m ready to open another bottle and listen to a two-hour-plus loop of Chamber of Reflection,” you say, making Ava sigh.
The principal had stopped by your house hours ago to check on you and when she saw the miserable state you were in, she decided to stay there for a while. And tried to comfort you (in the most Ava Coleman way possible.)
“Y/N. Come on, you can't act like Schemmenti doesn't exist. If you keep doing that, she'll soon break into your place to find out what's going on,” she comments, “just like an episode of a soap opera where the greatest absurdities happen in an exactly dramatic way.” Ava finished her sentence while painting her nails a shade of red. The act catching your attention.
Red. It reminded you of Melissa.
Yeah, this was being harder than it seemed.
“Shut up, she won't come after me,” you said it like it was just another one of the stupid things Ava used to say.
“Yes, she will. And y’know that very well.”
The next day, Melissa sat with her arms crossed at the table she shared with Barb and you. The redhead stared at the small tupperware in front of her, last night she made what she knew was your favorite dish: pancakes. She was anxiously waiting for you to show up in the break room, but that didn't happen.
Keep calm, Schemmenti. She will appear soon. She won't ignore you.
“Dear..” the kindergarten teacher whispers and she snorts, trying to change the subject, disguising how tense she was.
“What’s so interesting out there?” Melissa asks as she notices Janine, Gregory and Jacob looking at each other with strange expressions after spying in the window.
“Nothing.” Jacob is the first to respond and the couple agrees with him, swearing that there was nothing interesting outside.
She laughs humorlessly, the history teacher simply didn't know how to lie.
“C'mon, kiddo. You guys look like you've seen a ghost.” The redhead gets up from the table and approaches the three, squinting to see anything out of the ordinary and when she does. Her breathing hitches.
On the sidewalk, there were you and another teacher, who she recognized as the art teacher. The woman was happily chatting with you and leaning too close to Melissa's chagrin.
Ms. Evans was know for her big crush on you, she was always fighting with the redhead to have your attention. And now that Melissa was being ignored by you, this bitch thought she could have you all to herself? No way.
“YOU GOTTA BE FUCKING KIDDING ME!” she yelled coming down to get some satisfaction from you.
The sound of angry footsteps caught your attention, it was clearly that they belong to who you had been avoiding since yesterday, Melissa.
The wish was for the redhead to pass straight by without noticing your presence there. But instead, she approached and with a certain force grabbed you by the arm, taking you to one of the far corners of the building.
“Melissa! What the fuck?” you said.
“So while I was worried to death there in the staff room because you didn't talked to me since yesterday, you were here talking normally to that idiot!” the older woman's tone was altered, you could clearly hear the jealousy in her voice, “Had fun with your new best friend?”
“She’s not my best friend. We were just talking,” the nonsensical accusation makes you roll your eyes, letting out a mocking chuckle. “Melissa, stop acting like that!” you shout and she loses her temper even more.
“You suddenly act like a bitch and I’m the one to blame? What the fuck is wrong with you, Y/n?” she growls, fire in her green eyes.
“I dunno, a lot of things I suppose,” you retort coldly.
Melissa sighs when she realizes how tough she was. “Look, I don’t want to be an idiot. But please tell me what I did, so I can fix it.”
“We have nothing to fix between us, Schemmenti.”
“What? Are you really going to ignore it and pretend like none of this is happening?” The redhead asked in disbelief.
“Trust me. It’s better this way, for both of us,” you mumble, walking away from her, leaving an upset Melissa behind.
After the ‘argument’ on Tuesday, Melissa and you barely crossed paths at Abbott. And when you bumped into each other in the hallway, both grumbled and went back to your own ways.
The redhead and you were fighting the need to put the damned pride aside and throw yourselfs into each other's arms, and finally apologizing. But you were too stubborn for that and it was fucking complicated.
“This is stupid! Can you believe that Y/n started going to that coffee shop that's just a few blocks away from here just so she wouldn't have to face me at lunch? This whole thing is starting to irritate me.” Melissa tells to her best friend one morning.
“I understand that this situation is complicated, but don’t you think that both of you are exaggerating?” Barb asked carefully. Even she couldn't handle this situation anymore, it was disappointing to have to see you and Melissa acting like two children.
Ava who was listening to the conversation cautiously, decided to interrupt. “Schemmenti, haven’t you put the pieces together yet? Unbelievable.” She said as if it was something of small importance, making the redhead's eyebrows raise in confusion.
“Huh?”
“It’s so simple, I thought you already figured it all out,” the principal continues in a mysterious tone, making Melissa's head spin, “If it weren’t for this bullshit, you and Y/n would already be like two rabbits jumping on top of each other, if you know what I mean.”
The last comment makes Barb choke on her tea. “Ava, could you not be so specific about this? We’re in a school!” she scolds her.
“Whatever! It’s past time for her to know that Y/n likes her too. Even Janine and Gregory acted better than that!”
Everything around Melissa seemed to have gone silent. So was it true, the feelings were also reciprocal. A lot of questions surrounded her mind, why didn't you say anything? Why did you decide to pretend you weren't in love with her? Were you afraid of not being reciprocated?
“Why is she avoiding me then?” the redhead asks out loud, “that’s making me lose my mind. I just miss her.”
“Because of the t-shirt she lend ya. Mainly ‘cause of the last word printed on it.” That's all Ava says at that moment.
“A milf?” Melissa questions, still confused trying to think of putting the pieces together. “What does that mean? Is it something bad?”
“I was going to suggest you to google the meaning, but since you look like you're about to have a heart attack, I will tell ya,” she laughs and the redhead rolls her eyes, showing Ava her middle finger, “but don't be scared, it's a good thing, actually.”
“Alright..” the green-eyed woman whispers, still afraid of the answer, “so what does this whole milf thing means?”
“Mother I'd Like To Fuck. It also means that an older woman is super attractive.”
Melissa was left open-mouthed, her eyes blinking trying to process the explanation. So that was the damn meaning, well, she had to admit that was hot. “Wait... so Y/n..” she starts but there is a pause.
“Is in love with you and was scared when she saw ya wearing that t-shirt looking extremely hot, and preferred to stay away in case you found out what she felt.” Ava reveals it like it's the most obvious thing in the world, “What are you waiting for? Go find your girl, Schemmenti.”
Time passed slowly to Melissa's disgust and despair, making the poor woman sigh feeling defeated. As each second passed, she glanced quickly at the clock on her classroom wall, waiting for the afternoon to end.
After her students left, and the school day was finally over. She drove to your house — without caring about traffic regulations and rules — nothing else really mattered, she just needed to see you.
Sitting on the floor, while assembling a Lego set that simulated a beautiful bouquet of flowers — a gift you received from Janine and Gregory days ago, a lovely attempt by the couple to cheer you up — the sound of the doorbell ringing caught your attention. Making you stop your movements.
You furrowed your eyebrow in confusion, who could it be? Most of your friends were at different appointments at that time. So it certainly wasn't one of them.
“I'm almost coming! I just hope you’re not a stupid lunatic or some other ,” you grumbled, standing up as the sounds of the doorbell seemed more desperate with each passing second.
You opened the door and found Melissa standing there with her arms crossed, shivering slightly from the storm. “Hon, it’s so good to see you again.” She murmurs with a weak smile. Without caring if her voice sounds too desperate.
“Mel, what are you doing here? You might catch a damn cold like that.” You scolded her, pulling her into the house and locking the door again.
“I don’t care about that, I needed to see you. Actually we have to talk.” She responds taking off the black leather jacket that covered her body and hanging it where you kept your coats.
“We have to?” There is a little hesitation in the tone of your voice, all that courage and confidence have disappeared from your body. Insecurity taking over.
“Yeah, hon. We do.” She replied, noticing your nervousness, Melissa tries to comfort you, placing her hand on your shoulder and stroking it lovingly, showing that everything was fine. You smile for the first time in days in the presence of your beloved redhead.
She takes you to the small white sofa that was in the middle of the living room. “I know you were avoiding me because of that shirt. And I know you're in love with me.”
“What? Fuck, how did you figure all this out?” you whisper in panic, covering your face with your hands. Feeling vulnerable at the mercy of the red-haired figure sitting next to you.
A silence fell in the room, making you feel even more embarrassed.
“Ava told me those things earlier today. Hon, why didn't you tell me anything? That would have made everything so much easier.”
“What do you mean by making things easier? I don't understand.”
“I'm love with you too, idiot. I just didn't say before ‘cause I was insecure as fuck. But now, I know exactly what I want: you. No one else, just you.” She confessed with a smile on her face.
Automatically your body falls even more on the couch and you feel slightly dizzy. Closing your eyes slowly, trying to regain consciousness. “Sorry, I'm a bit nervous,” you respond. “It's too much to process. Jesus Christ.”
“Don’t be nervous, it’s me. Just me,” Melissa pulls you into her lap sighing as she smells your lavender scent again. “I'm sorry if I acted like a bitch the last few days. It was not necessary.”
“It was never your fault, I was the real bitch. You didn’t deserve to go through this just because of an irresponsible attitude of mine,” you say, resting your foreheads together.
“I think it's fair to say that we overreacted a bit,” the older woman smiles with her eyes closed. Feeling a slight courage run through her body, she asks you something. “Sweetheart?”
“Yeah?”
“Can I kiss you?” Melissa asks biting her lip and slowly approaching, “I wanna do this since New Year's Eve.”
“Yes, please, Mel.” You beg wrapping your arms around her neck.
The moment her lips touched yours, it felt like you were in heaven. Melissa's lips were soft against yours. The kiss was calm and peaceful, both wanting to show all the love you felt for each other.
“You know, being considered a milf is an honor for me.” Melissa scoffs with a mischievous smile as you pull away from the kiss.
“Shut up.” You chuckle, cupping her cheeks.
“Make me,” the redhead teases, “please.”
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